#female sadness

[delusions-inpink]

[kalopsi4a]

[eloooraa]

yeah no i dont care

[porcelainlego]

floral chandeliers >>>> any other lighting fixture

[maggotfilledheart]

Hate hearing men talk

[crystalheart11]

i used to float, now i just fall down 🥀

[girlyillness]

[beatrizonfilm]

“I need a father. I need a mother. I need some older, wiser being to cry to. I talk to God, but the sky is empty.”

𝐒𝐲𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐡. (𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟐). ‘the unabridged journals of sylvia plath’.

[babydollxxblood]

ew some guys just barked at me

[delusions-inpink]

[kalopsi4a]

real

[eloooraa]

- susanna kaysen .::.

[porcelainlego]

i literally cannot wait for my new vanity to get here!!!

[morgan-tha-gorgan]

My dad has always said fucked up things to me. Whether it was trying to instil his homophobia and racism to me, or his general misogyny. And yeah, it sucks, but what sucks more is how my mom would justify it. How everytime I called him out or confronted him, she was right there to shame me for speaking against him.

She was supposed to be on my side.

One day, she told me he was self conscious about his weight gain from the new medications he is on...something he always ridiculed me for. So, I said it was ironic how I was supposed to be nice to him about it when he has never been nice to me. She called me vindictive and spiteful.

You're damn right I am. She may have forgotten the words he said to her (and me) but his words have become my inner voice to myself. And for her to tell me to be nice to him???

I guess I shouldn't expect any less from a boy mom who told me multiple times growing up (and even still says it to me as an adult), "Boys are closer to their mothers and daughters are closer to their fathers. " And everytime, I tell her, "I am not close to dad at all," she just kinda shrugs and says, "But boys are closer to their moms," which tells me she loves my brother more than me.

So, yeah...I am a rage filled eldest daughter who wants nothing more than to crush skulls, cry so hard I throw up and simultaneously seek out peace.

I could live with the damage of a shifty father, but the damage from my mother will haunt me to my dying days.

[girlyillness]