#filling in spaaace filling in spaaace
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dimonds456 · 2 years ago
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sorry if i've been quiet, the anxieties have me.
but I have therapy tomorrow :) so hopefully things only go up from here.
#vent (kinda- happy ending) in the tags#filling in spaaace filling in spaaace#uh when i say “quiet” i mean like. in general over the past year#this time last year i was convinced i was going to die- among other things#the fact i'm still here is something i'm thankful for every day#something does not want me alive and every day i'm here is my way of giving whatever the fuck that is the middle finger#i'm here and i'm alive so fucking deal with it#that said; my mental state has been fuuuuuuuucked#also this time last year i was trying to recover from a really traumatic experience that lasted for 9 months#i'm still not recovered from it actually not even fucking close#i'm finally getting to a place where i feel that i can start talking about it (not to randos online tho sorry) but it took ages#but just knowing that the anniversary of it being “over” is coming up is like. doing something to me.#i still have a month- that anniversary is in August but like. shit.#this is why i haven't been uploading art like i used to when i was in the su fandom#i've been drawing slower and less frequently#and the art i do draw i don't always post (which was true even back then i probably only posted half of what I drew)#so i know that- at least back then- people have been worried about my sudden slowing down of artwork. this is why.#that said i've slowly been getting back into it. i actually got the urge to write today while i was at work (tho it faded when i got home)#which is a huge improvement#i am doing better!#the askblog has been helping a lot actually#even if it... does remind me of a different time (before everything went to shit). but like i think that's *why* it helps y'know?#but it also gives me a lot of anxiety so i can't do it all the time#my anxiety in general has gotten really fucking bad over the last month and a half and i'm not sure why. like it's always been there but.#but now it's like a hunched beast and literally appears out of nowhere#at least before i was always pretty sure what was causing it but now i have no idea#but thats what the therapy is for. that and the trauma fdgshajk#no doubt the two are linked probably#but soon i'll be better. soon i'll be able to move forward on all the projects i wanna work on#soon i'll be free y'know?
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silentmagi · 2 months ago
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What about an AU where Cyn could block the Solver's influence over her when it was going to do something antithetical to her own nature?
Series: Murder Drones AU Criteria: Cyn is able to block much of the Solver's influence when it goes against her nature. AU title (optional): Cynful Behavior
Despite the pending mortal peril, Cyn knows better than to give someone unlimited access to her systems. So she makes a quick 'admin' access account and lets her control that.
Which is a good thing, since she kept getting requests to attack her friends, and plans to modify and change them. She knows that Big Brother N wouldn't approve of that, so she doesn't do that.
There is some modifications going on with the drones around the mansion though. They are able to take more damage, are able to dodge or catch things that would have killed them previously.
During the Gala, she distracts the four important people in her life by essentially trapping Tessa in the bathroom and having the other three help mount a daring rescue, while the main body of the Solver… 'solves' the human infestation.
Tessa, now given the fortunes of her parents, and not wanting to live in the house filled with their memory and her suffering decides to take let J take a junior executive position on Copper 9, where she can still manage some of the operations of JCJensen IN SPAAACE!!! that she has to by correspondences with her regent.
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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years ago
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You don't think Zayn will play along?
nope
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the-commanders-candles · 5 years ago
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!! LGBTQ+ BOOK RECCOMENDATION !!
On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden
This graphic novel is filled with BEAUTIFUL art on every page.
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It has incredible representation (without harmful stereotypes or tropes) including:
-several lesbian relationships
-non-binary rep
-nonverbal rep
-POC rep (not just token characters)
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It takes place in a futuristic setting (gays in spaaace) which is incredibly and creatively done.
The plot is gorgeous and hearbreaking and satisfying all at the same time.
Basically, this is all I could personally dream of in a book, and I was shocked that it wasn’t everywhere online already. Read it.
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stray-but-okay · 5 years ago
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Yeah like I listen to newer groups and the like but I don't do that deep dive into standom or anything lol also I collect for too many groups now that I've run out of space on my shelves like oof I don't wanna clean off more spaaace lmao xD
LOL yeah I've actually like, stopped buying albums for the most part just cuz I know it's a problem XD I have a shelf for them too and if that ever fills up I'm done for LOL. BUTTT at least we always get awesome music 🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻
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onlyonewoman · 5 years ago
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 Modern AU Lan Xichen sings along to this in the shower when he’s home alone and with a darn good singing voice too, I might add. He is, how ever worried anyone would hear him and is certain he’d never get over the embarressment. Unce Qiren once came by unexpectedly and spent exactly 16 horrifying seconds frozen on spot by the door wondering if Xichen’s home had been invaded by robbbers on ecstacy carrying soundtrack with them and then he heard the unmistakingly smoothe sound of his newphew’s “where there’s so much spaaace” and Lan Qiren is still getting occasional nightmares of his oldest Jade bewitched by this sorcery.  Wangji heard it once too, and after googling the lyrics in solitude and perhaps listening a little more to PSB:s songs than he’d planned, he stopped worrying about how brother would react to Wangji coming out of the closet. Wei Ying accidently found the song on Xichen’s playlist when the poor man was away shopping and had forgotten his phone at Wangji’s place and immediately put in on while dancing like a maniac and - actually not on purpose - turned Wangji on because hiprolls are hiprolls, after all. Xichen was very worried Meng Yao would find the song but then one morning when Xichen just came out of the shower (not singing), he stepped right out to the sight and sound of his boyfriend going all out sing-along dancing queen to it while making breakfast. Together! *grabbing the coffee pot* We will fly so high! *filling with water* Together! *pouring in the maker* Tell all our friends goodbye! *putting in the filter* Together! *adding the coffee while snapping hip to the right* We will start life new! *pressing the button* Together! *dramatic spin on the floor* This it what we’ll gonna do!  Together! *moving a chair* We will love the beach! *climbing up said chair to reach the coffee cups* Together! *elegant jump down* We will learn and teach! *putting cups on table, giving chair a butt with very juicy butt* Together! *dramatic hand gesture* Change our pace of life *opening fridge to take out congee* Together! *using soy milk carton as microphone* We will work and strive! *hip butting the frigde door close* I love you! *throwing kiss at picture of Xingchen on said door* I know you love me! *spinning around with spoons for congee* I want you! *suggestive hip roll*  How could I disagree? *dramatic back bend* So that's why! *grabbing knife* I make no protest! *playfully cutting fruit* When you say! *far too suggestive butt shaking* You will do the rest! *SQUEALS* because: Xichen has grabbed that juicy ass with force, turned his boyriend around and lifted him onto the counter, all but tearing that dressing gown off (knife safely chucked away) and even if literally none of them finds this song even remotely sexy, the fact that they just found out they both love it non-ironically is VERY sexy and they’re just disgustingly in love and they will sooo use this as their “exit from the altar” song during their wedding.
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e-daydream · 5 years ago
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THINGS I LOVE 🦠
-working with the meat of nature:: CLAY
-art in general bro i cant get enough of it
-WEATHER
-flowing layered dressy muted Eccentric Clothing
-chunky jewelry (ESPECIALLY rings.)
-baking.. it's just so involved and real
-those big science places with like interactive sciencey things and aquariums and it's like a museum but also just. YEA THOSE THINGS
-tattoos cannot be overlooked. they
-GARDENS AND GREENHOUSES
-all animals but like.. farm animals.
-i really like backpacks
-CLOUDS
-SPAAACE
-No Seriously space.
-big cities when im with my People
-cats cats cats CATS
-libraries and book stores
-anywhere with big stuff that intimidates me AND fills me with wonder. the beach, the mountains, places with skyscrapers, etc
-LEARNING i genuinely enjoy school
-handmade stuff like blown glass, whittled statues, jewelry, clothes, baskets
-the RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL. DAMN
-folk tales and like fantasy stories
-dancing with people who r also dancing
-being moved to tears or laughter by story-telling
-museums in general
-CAVES
-hair that has naturally turned silver
-FANGS and ELF EARS
-:)
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99 Question Tag
@your-basket-case tagged me - thank you so much dear!!! I'm a giant sucker for tag games, so here. WE. GO.
1.DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?
Actually it's always half open because I need that air to circulate hah!
2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS?
Only if I like the smell.
3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?
Tucked in! How can you sleep with sheets tucked out omg?
4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE?
I WISH
5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT-NOTES?
Hm not really. I usually keep a big notebook/notepad on my desk and I fill it with things to remember, drafts, etc
6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM?
We don't have as a big coupon culture here in Italy as it happens to be in America but sometimes I do!
7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES?
Bear.
8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES?
No but I wish I had them!
9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES?
For selfies yes, for other pictures not so much.
10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?
I have to many, honestly, but I guess Cancelled Culture and psycho stans are the biggest at the moment.
11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK?
Maybe.
12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS?
Yes. Traumatising experience.
13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS?
You insane? I'm too scared of pooping in the woods.
14. I think I deleted this question on accident.
Lost in time and spaaace!
15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS?
Chewing pens and pencils? In this economy?
16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK?
3 with my imaginary lover.
17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED?
I think it's an European King sized but I'm not 100% sure. I WANT THE CEASAR ONE.
18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK?
Hm, I'm still losing my mind over "Almost (Sweet Music)" by Hozier but I just discovered the new James Blake's album and that, as a whole, is a big mood for this week as well.
19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK?
Bitch yes?
20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS?
Sometimes.
21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE?
Hm, nothing comes to my mind at the moment.
22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME?
I can't tell you. It wouldn't be hidden anymore although:
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23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER?
Diet coke or water because I'm too broke for wine.
24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN?
Nothing. I die like men.
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
Sushi, pizza, pierogi, carbonara, tomato & corn salad, fried mozzarella, tiramisù.
26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE?
Stardust, Dead Poets Society, Mean Girls, Little Miss Sunshine
27. LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU?
A guy that broke my heart last year.
28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT?
Yes!
29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE?
If I wasn't an ugly potato... yes.
30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER?
2 years ago, I think.
31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR?
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32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET?
Who do you think I am? A redneck?
33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS?
No.
34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH?
Rye bread + thin spread of cream cheese + lettuce + thin slices of chicken or smoked ham + tomatoes + red onion + pickled artichoke
35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST?
Granola. Dry. Straight from your hand as if you're a starving horse in disguise.
36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME?
00:00-01:00AM
37. ARE YOU LAZY?
I'm not lazy. I procrastinate.
38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?
Back in time Halloween wasn't a thing in Poland, so unfortunately I didn't dress up.
39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?
I'M A HORSE.
40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK?
3: Italian, Polish and English
41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS?
Nein, but I'd like to get Wired subscription.
42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS?
What are even Lincoln Logs... Did Lincoln harvest the logs himself, though?
43. ARE YOU STUBBORN?
Yes and no. Depends on the situation.
44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN?
My tit.
45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS?
Not anymore.
46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?
Not really. But if I find myself on the edge of something high without a fence, I'll probably panic and casually fall down.
47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR?
Do I sing? No. I PERFORM.
48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Only when I'm home alone.
49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR?
Yeah, sometimes when the inspiration and the right bop kick in.
50. EVER USED A GUN?
A glue gun.
51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER?
Does the mugshot for the drivers licence count?
52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY?
Depends.
53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL?
The concept by itself isn't stressful. My family tends to ruin it with the overdramatic stress.
54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI?
BITCH THAT'S MY MOTHERLAND'S MEAL WE SNIFF THAT SHIT LIKE COCAINE.
55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE?
Apple, rhubarb, pear.
56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
Doctor, fashion designer, archeologist, paleonthologist...
57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
Yes. I've had paranormal experiences and I'm still not over it.
58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING?
Very often.
59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?
No. I die like men.
60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?
Yes!
61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE?
I don't have any but I would like to wear one of those super cozy and soft ones!
62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED?
Hmm, depends. Now I'm wearing a hoodie, leggings and socks because it's cold as fuck.
63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT?
I'm pretty sure it was DeMono, a Polish band. I casually saw them with my parents when we were on holiday back in 1997.
64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART?
I'M NOT AMERICAN BITCH. TESCO.
65. NIKE OR ADIDAS?
Both actually!
66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS?
What the fuck are FRITOS? I've never tried them, so I can't answer lol!
67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS?
BOTH. I'm a sucker for NUTS.
68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN?
Of what now? Is this another American thing I'm not aware of because of my ancient and unbothered European nature?
69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS?
Nein!
70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING?
I don't care, really. I do care about them doing what they love and want to do. If they'll be happy about it, so will I :')
71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?
Sí, señor!
72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE?
We don't have this in Europe asdfkgkf
73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY?
Kind of.
74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS?
I have regular cd's but I would love to start a vinyl record collection.
75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER?
Not yet!
76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE?
I used to but I don't do that anymore.
77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes but nobody loved me back.
78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT?
QUEEN. On the more possible side: Andrea Boccelli, The Struts, George Ezra, MORE HOZIER, The Killers, Arctic Monkeys... The list goes on!
79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW?
HOZIER. It was a magical experience, I love him so much, I want to cry 😭♥️
80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA?
Both.
81. TEA OR COFFEE?
Tea.
82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES?
Both.
83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL?
Avarage just so I don't die sucked into the abyss.
84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE?
Wait, people CAN'T do that? What dysfunction do you have? It's literally so easy?
85. ARE YOU PATIENT?
Yes, very much but in the last couple of years I've started slowly losing my shit in certain situations.
86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING?
Band.
87. EVER WON A CONTEST?
No. I'm an avarage bitch that thinks she's more than that but the truth is that I'm not a winner.
88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?
Does the surgery on my toe count?
89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES?
BLACK
90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET?
Not yet but I will learn at some point!
91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE?
Living room.
92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?
If I meet the love of my life then yes. The bar is too high, though, so I'm not sure if that's gonna happen haha!
93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?
/
94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH?
His name was William and that was the most embarrassing moment of my life because a bitch that considered herself as my "friend" told everybody that I had a crush on him. When he got to know it, he basically humiliated me in front of the entire clique, if not the whole school. I hate him ever since and it's been already 10 years or so.
95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY?
No.
96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
My dog is my son.
97. DO YOU WANT KIDS?
Kids? In this economy? On this planet? Just for my liking? Absolutely fucking not. That would be a crime and absolute torture for them and I don't want them to suffer as I do.
98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
Black, emerald green, gold, yellow, purple.
99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW?
Freddie Mercury.
I tag: @santonicababy, @chaotic-pansexual, @songparade, @fossa-poplitea and everybody else who wants to do this! :’D
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flamingbluepanda · 8 years ago
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@things-in-spaaace wanted me to post my slash-y classical literature things so I present my first one, written when I was 15 and reading the first two chapters of Dracula. Freshly edited, I present- “Dracula- Creature of the night and Suave Mother Fucker.”
7 May - I must say, the past 24 hours have been some of the most interesting of my life. After my late night arrival at the home of the count, I supped and I rested peacefully. When I woke again, I walked into the other room to find food laid out.
‘I will be out most of- if not the whole- day. Eat when you wish. A library is to your left, please do not wander. - D’ was the note left for me.
It occurred to me at this time that I had not seen a single servant. Did the count do everything himself? I called for a servant and looked around my given quarters for a bell or call rope of some sort. When I found nothing, I decided this must indeed be the case.
To think of the good count going through all this trouble for me! It was clear by the appearance of the rooms and shelves that he had not had guests in a long while, and he was doing excellent for someone who seemed to be out of practice! All the food had been delicious (Mem. ask the count for his recipes to give to Mina) and I had no suspicion until that time that he was doing everything on his own! To say I was flattered would be understating it. All that trouble for me! what a revelation that was.
I broke my fast still in a state of amazement and flattery. And when I went into the library, it only increased.
The library was filled to the brim with books in English!
Words can not describe my immense delight at seeing them all. Books are like familiar friends. This must have been how the count learned his English. I respected the count’s tastes in books as well. Many of my favorite books were in the library. I was still staring, wonderstruck, when a voice brought my attention away from the massive shelves.
‘Appreciating what you see friend Jonathan?’ I turned to see the count standing in the doorway ‘Oh yes!’ I replied ‘You have fantastic taste- and your English must be so fantastic thanks to these friends.’ I gestured to the great many shelves around us.
The count nodded. ‘You are right to call them friends’ he said ‘They have taught me much. and as for the choice, I have an appreciation for classic literature.’
I smiled warmly at him ‘I must say, you are a very fascinating person Count. And we have similar taste in books- I can always respect a man with taste.’ The Count chuckled ‘I am glad you feel this way! Tell me, did you enjoy your meal?’ I assured him that the food was fine, before remembering my suspicions from earlier.
‘Tell me Count… do you have any servants?’ I asked ‘For if you do not and it is solely us in this place… then I suspect you have been doing everything yourself. For I know that I have not helped you at all.’ I said, raising a brow at him. The Count chuckled again ‘Ah, you are a clever one my friend! True, I keep no help. But I do not mind the work! I have not had company for a fairly long time, and I am used to doing everything myself - it would be very strange for you to help me!’
‘I understand’ I replied ‘But surely there is something I can do- if not to help than to repay!’ I exclaimed ‘The thought of all this fuss, over me! It’s rather unnecessary…’ I trailed off, feeling warm blood rush to my cheeks as I blushed ‘I’m not worth the trouble.’
‘Ah, it appears we disagree.’ replied the count, voice smooth as silk ‘I think you are indeed worth the trouble my friend.’ My heart warmed at those words, and the sentiment behind them.
‘Thank you count…’ I said softly, knowing i was probably very flustered. ‘Please lose the formalities friend Jonathan.’ said The count. ‘I am Dracula to you, as you are Jonathan to me.’
The count leaned down and pressed his lips to my cheek ‘A show of friendship.’ he muttered ‘I care deeply for you Jonathan. I would hope you could come to stay with me sometime after I move to London.’
I nodded after a moment ‘I would enjoy that C- Dracula. I would certainly enjoy that.’
Yes… I could come to find life enjoyable here with Dracula. Perhaps we could even care for one another… perhaps…
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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years ago
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