#first was from yesterday and the second is from today ^_^

[punksyeet]

- Inked ❥

Plot: Four letters. One word. Ugh, ugh. Tats.

Warning: Hefty flirting & lots of kisses!

A/N: ngl i’ve had this fic sitting untouched in the drafts for a little while now, but when jey posted that delicious back shot yesterday, i took it as a sign. enjoy! 🖤

———————————————————————————————

“you headed out for the night?” my co-worker, jayla, asks, beginning to sterilize her equipment.

i nod, untying my bun and letting my curls run free. “hell yeah, girl. i’m beat.”

she giggles, nodding in agreement. “we did have a lot more walk-ins today than usual.”

i’ve been tattooing for a little over five years now.

and while it’s the most fun job in the world, it can also be super draining.

for a little backstory, growing up, i drew every chance i got.

on my chalkboard that i’d use to teach my (very finely educated) stuffed animals, in my notebooks during boring high school classes, you name it.

and the second i graduated, somehow acing all of those said classes, my grandpa brought me to his tattoo shop daily to shadow him and learn about his samoan culture.

now, years later, he’s no longer with us and i’m studying art in college, as well as working part time at a downtown new york tattoo shop.

throughout these five years, i’ve worked on some of the biggest polynesian names in wrestling: both of the uso twins, solo sikoa, tama tonga, and even jacob fatu.

my grandpa was super close with the entire fatu - anoa’i family, so it’s a huge honor to be trusted by all of them with something that’s so important to our culture and heritage.

“hey, isn’t that big convention at javits this weekend?” jayla asks, causing me to look up from fixing my hoodie strings and nod.

“fanatics fest yeah,” i reply. “why?”

her eyelids lower into a mischievous look, as she begins moving her eyebrows up and down.

i pop my neck back in confusion. “bitch, why are you looking at me like that?”

“isn’t your lover boy booked for saturday?” she replies, poking at my side.

“first of all,” i exclaim, folding my arms across my chest. “he’s not my lover boy. we’re just having fun, that’s all.”

she hums and mocks my action, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow. “and second?”

“second of all,” i continue. “did you not see how many times he sold out all of his shit? that man is gonna be booked and busy.”

“girl,” she exasperates, leaning back in her chair. “that man never misses an opportunity to see you. whenever he comes out here, his ass is always walking through this door with his tongue hanging out, just waiting to get his hands on you.”

“his tongue is not hanging out!” i scold, playfully shoving her arm.

“it basically is!” she scolds back between giggles, hitting me back playfully.

i sigh, sliding my purse onto my shoulder.

“seriously girl,” she continues, getting up to throw away her gloves and ink-filled paper towels. “that man is more whipped for you than whipped cream.”

i let out a breathless laugh, shaking my head. “well, the energy is reciprocated. and i’d love to see him this weekend. but if it’s not possible, i won’t be mad either. he’s booked and busy. and i love that for him.”

she dramatically sticks her bottom lip out and dabs away invisible tears. “loving watching your future husband succeed. it’s adorable!”

“bitch i’m leaving!” i tease, turning towards the door.

she bursts into laughter and playfully whacks my butt. “have a good night, girl. text me when you get home!”

“i will!” i call out, leaving and letting the door close behind me.

my journey home is peaceful, barely any traffic on the highway.

and as if on cue, the second i enter the driveway and shut my car off, my text tone dings.

i send a text over to jayla, as promised, before heading inside and getting ready for the night.

———————————————————————————————

it’s been another long shift of appointments and a couple walk-ins.

i’m exhausted, and i can confidently say that the only thing keeping me going all day has been the thought of reuniting with him.

“alright i’m outta here girl,” jayla announces, gathering her car keys and purse. “have fun with your man.”

i shoot her a death glare, to which she responds with blowing me a kiss and darting out the door.

i roll my eyes, smiling, and get back to disinfecting my chair.

just minutes later, the sound of the shop’s front door being pulled open and sneakers squeaking against the tile floor make my heart stop in my throat.

he’s here.

“appointment with the finest lady in the world?” josh calls out.

i roll my eyes, a smirk plastered on my lips. “no problem. let me go get her.”

he snickers, places two starbucks cups down on the counter, and walks over, immediately pulling me in for a hug.

his woodsy, almost vanilla like scent fills my nose as i rest my chin on his shoulder.

“missed you bae,” he exclaims, his hands lingering my waist as we pull away.

“i missed you too,” i reply, running my hands through his curls. “how’s everything been?”

he nods, licking his lower lip. “been good. how bout you, ma? you look good.”

“thank you,” i reply sweetly, heat immediately rushing to my cheeks. “been busy, but i’m managing.”

he smiles softly. “hell yeah you are, baby. i’m proud of you.”

i smile back and place a quick kiss on his lips.

“got your usual by the way,” he announces, tucking a curl behind my ear, nodding towards our drinks. “you still like that shit with enough caramel to make you drop dead after the first sip, right?”

i roll my eyes, playfully swatting his arm. “you’re such a hater.”

his smile turns into a smirk, gently pulling me in by my face for another kiss.

“come on playboy,” i exclaim, taking his hand and leading us to the chair once we pull away. “let’s finish that back.”

he chuckles, stopping once we get there to remove his shirt.

my panties are immediately soaked at the sight of his body, his biceps and chest about ten times bigger than the last time i saw him.

“like what you see, girl?” he teases, flexing his arms. “been workin’ out just for you.”

fuck he’s huge.

“don’t flatter yourself big boy,” i lie, rolling my eyes.

he smirks and lays down flat on his stomach, getting comfy on the chair.

i take a seat next to him and, as i’m putting a fresh set of gloves on, he looks over, laying his head on top of his folded arms.

i wipe down the area we’re about to work on with a baby wipe, before turning on my tattoo gun, the buzzing sound immediately filling the room.

“look at you with all your supplies n shit,” he coos, watching me. “you look like such a pro, baby.”

i smile at the compliment, kiss his temple as a thank you, and pull up instagram to begin my livestream.

he whips out his phone and joins immediately, angling it against the backrest so he can watch it.

“hey everyone!” i greet my already hundreds of viewers.

a bunch of his fangirls immediately flood the comments.

Omg I know that back from anywhere! 😻

HI JEYYY 🥹

The duo is back 🙂‍↕️❤️

FOUR LETTERS ONE WORD UGH UGH YEET 😍🙌🏼

His back 🥵🥵

he chuckles, watching the comments roll by.

i begin the process, stretching out his skin with one hand and free-drawing with the other.

about ten minutes in, he joins the live as a guest to show his angle and the comments go nuts.

JEYYYYY 🥹😍

The man of the hour and he looks so fine! 😮‍💨🤤

YEET! 🙌🏼❤️

“wassup yall? yeet!” he greets them, gritting his teeth to show off his gold grillz.

i smile to myself, listening to him interact with fans.

one question catches my attention though.

“don’t yall think they would be so cute together?” he reads the comment aloud.

i look up and raise an eyebrow at the camera. “bold of y’all to assume i’d ever date his goofy ass.”

his jaw practically drops open and i snicker in response, playfully whacking his butt.

the comments laugh at my response, quickly agreeing and dissing josh for his goofiness.

he sucks his teeth, laying his head back down. “man, yall are some damn bullies.”

eventually, we end the live and i lean over to grab his face and kiss him.

he kisses back, making sure to blow raspberries onto my lips before pulling away.

“bitch you’re gross!” i yell, wiping my mouth with my sleeve.

he laughs, digging his face into his arms before i can wipe it back onto him.

———————————————————————————————

“this shit straight fire mama,” josh compliments, flexing his back in one of the full body mirrors.

i smile, watching him, while taking off my gloves. “it looks amazing.”

“it really do,” he agrees, pulling out his phone to take selfies. “you did your thing with this, bae.”

i blush at the compliment, sitting back down to sterilize my tools. “thank you.”

“nah thank you,” he replies, walking up from behind me and wrapping his arms around me. “your talent is crazy, you know. gramps taught you well.”

my smile grows even wider, doing my very best to blink back tears. “that means the world to me, baby. thank you.”

he smiles and leans in, pressing a deep kiss to my temple.

i lean into his touch and reach up with one hand to hold his face, turning it to mine, and press my lips to his.

“you know i love you, right?” he asks once we pull away.

i nod, biting my lower lip. “mhm. i love you too.”

i brush our noses together before looking back down and finishing up cleaning.

by the time i’m done, josh is back in the mirror, admiring the finished piece all over again.

“you gonna let me wrap that up within the next hour?” i tease, folding my arms across my chest.

he chuckles, walking back over.

i grab some plastic wrap, just enough to cover the newest section, and stick multiple layers to his skin.

once he’s all good to go, he thanks me and puts his shirt back on.

“now,” he begins as we walk back up to the front of the shop. “how much do i owe your pretty self?”

he pulls out his wallet from his sweatpants pocket while saying that last part.

“josh,” i reply, throwing my purse over my shoulder. “babe, we do this every time. you know my grandpa never liked to charge you or your family. so i won’t either.”

he sighs, stepping closer. “baby, this shit took hours. i wanna take care of you. you deserve it.”

i shake my head, cupping his face. “it’s really okay. i promise.”

he smiles softly and leans in, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of my mouth.

“at least lemme take you out for some dinner?” he suggests, stroking my sides.

i pucker my lips to the side, rubbing his biceps. “waffle house?”

his smile widens, a mischievous look coming over his eyes. “you know me so well.”

i giggle as he pulls me in for yet another kiss.

“let’s roll pretty girl,” he says, holding out his hand.

i take it and we head out.

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[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire - Chapter 10

Summary: Still upset about the things that went down with Daryl the night before, Y/N heads into work early and has a conversation with Guy who tries to help her understand her feelings. A confrontation with Maggie opens a whole new can of worms in terms of her future.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Maggie, Guy, Jordyn, Michonne, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/172058590

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, etc.

Notes: This chapter was originally 31 pages so I cut it in half. I'll put the second chapter up in two days. Thanks to those that still read this story. I'm doing my best to finish it! If you want to read the other chapters since it has been so long, be sure to check them out here.

What started out as a pretty good night, ended very poorly. When Y/N had gotten home, she texted both Negan and Daryl to let them know she did. The only one that seemed to care? Negan. Daryl had left her on read. To say she was surprised with that would be a lie. Sadly, most of her nights lately had ended rough after the last week or so.

After that conversation with Daryl? Y/N didn’t get much sleep because she couldn’t put her mind to rest. To keep her mind off things, she texted back and forth with Negan who was very flirty and outgoing, but it didn’t stop her from feeling bad about the way things went down with Daryl. Guilt ate away at her with the way that Daryl made her feel. When she was with Negan, she was happy, but when Daryl put things out in front of her, it made her wonder if she really was making a mistake with Negan.

She couldn’t get a wink of sleep all night because of it. So? Instead she started working on finishing the project that Guy had asked of her. Today was Friday, which meant it was her last day of work this week. When the sun started to rise, she got ready for work and came in early.

Not surprisingly, she was the first person there which meant she turned everything on for the office. After that, she got seated at her place at the table in Guy’s office to continue working on what she had left. Which honestly? Wasn’t much. Looking to her phone, she realized that Daryl hadn’t texted her. She didn’t know why she expected him to in the first place. He had no qualms showing her that he was pissed at her when they separated yesterday. It just wasn’t like Daryl to be like this. Right now? She felt like she was being swept back to the short amount of time where they were actually dating and he was incredibly angry with her all the time.

Through the silence that had surrounded her for quite some time, there was a rustling behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see that Guy was pushing open the door to his office. In his mouth, he had a bag that he was carrying from a coffee shop. There was a carrier in his hand with two coffees and in his other arm was all of his belongings. When their eyes connected, he paused with his head tipping to the side confused.

Attempting to say something only made his words muffled since he had the paper bag in his mouth and it made her smile. Rolling his brown eyes, he motioned her to wait as he headed over toward his desk. Setting things down, he pulled the bag from his mouth and smacked his lips together. Placing his hand over the top of the desk, he leaned against it and gave her a weak smile, “You’re early. What are you doing here so early?”

“Well, this isn’t exactly early. By now? When I was working with Maggie, I would have probably already been here three or four hours. This isn’t exactly early either,” she responded, pointing back over her shoulder toward the clock that was on the wall. After he looked, she then gestured to have him look at the other people that were already in the office working. “It’s early for you though! That’s impressive. What are you doing here this early?”

“I uh…” he held his hand out toward his desk where the drinks and the bag that he was originally holding in his mouth were. “I was trying to get us some breakfast, well, I guess more so like brunch by now. But it looks like you’ve already been here a while and had a coffee.”

“I won’t turn down more caffeine,” she commented with a weak smile, leaning back in her chair after pushing slightly away from the table. Grabbing the items he brought with him, Guy headed in her direction with a kick to his step. Setting everything down, he took the seat at the end of the table along the side of her. Tipping his head to the side, his dark eyes gazed out upon the design that she had been working on for him. Sliding his hand out, he grabbed a hold of it and pulled it toward him to get a better look. “I’m sorry if it’s not very good, I haven’t slept well the last few days.”

“No, it’s great, but this is a lot more than you had done yesterday. How long have you actually been here?” Guy wondered, his nose wrinkling the longer he gazed upon it, surprised with how much was actually done.

“A few hours?” she shrugged her shoulders, smirking when he reached for the coffee he had gotten for her. Sliding it out toward her made her smile and she accepted it. “Thank you.”

“Why aren’t you sleeping? You’re not getting lack of sleep because of work. Maybe on the first day I offered you the job because of excitement, but not this long after the offer. So I’m assuming it is something to do with Negan or Daryl? Or maybe both. Or Maggie is an option,” he listed off all the things he thought would be the cause of her troubles and she frowned. “So which is it? You had dinner with Negan last night. Are you feeling guilty because you slept with him? I’m going to guess not though because if you slept with him, you probably wouldn’t be here at work.”

“You are way too invested in my personal life,” she declared, watching him get comfortable at the table, resting his elbows on top of it. “You’re unfortunately the only person that I could probably talk to about things, but it feels…wrong? Since you’re my boss and you wanted to have sex with me not that long ago.”

“So?” he blurt out biting down on his bottom lip and dramatically bobbing his head about.

“So it’s weird. Plus, I feel like you might be biased based on any discussion that I have with you,” she thought aloud knowing that he already seemed to have a liking for Negan. “Between Negan and Daryl…”

“Then make them nameless. Call one of them A and the other B,” he suggested, waving his hand about in the air. “I might be annoying, but I’m actually pretty good at this relationship stuff.”

“How many serious relationships have you had in your life?” she wondered, taking a sip of her coffee doubting that he really would be any good at advice considering she knew he was someone that slept around and he slept around a lot. After a minute of thinking about the question, a cheeky smile tugged at his features with his dark eyes narrowing. “None, right?”

“I don’t know what you consider serious. Would I say I ever found the love of my life? No,” he rambled on, taking a moment to think about things. “But I have been with a lot of people. So I assume that gives me some kind of knowledge in the matter.”

“I’ll talk to you, but only under one condition. If I open up to you, you have to open up to me. I ask you some questions, you give me answers and then I will talk to you about my personal life,” she offered up causing his eyes to narrow. Nodding his head, he leaned back in the chair and threw his hands up in the air. “What is it about Maggie that drew you to her? Why did you want to sleep with her?”

“I was horny, she was hot and she was willing,” he blurted out with a rumble in his tone, sucking on his bottom lip before speaking up again. “Sometimes, the people I have sex with are out of convenience. Not because they are people I want to be hooking up with. Although, Maggie is hot. Just not someone I’d like to be with in a relationship.”

“And you didn’t care that she was dating someone?” she inquired, her throat tensing up with Guy growling out and dramatically rolling his eyes. “I’m just curious.”

“No, it’s not my responsibility to care. If people want to have sex with me, they have the opportunity to say no. Whether they are married or dating or not, it’s not on me,” he placed his hand in over the center of his chest, a muscle in his jaw flexing and by the expression in his dark eyes she knew that he wasn’t lying. “I don’t care either. Because if the person is cheating with me, it means there is something already going on at home that was broken. Everyone knows that when they hook up with me, they aren’t getting a relationship. They are just getting sex. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

“So you don’t feel guilty that you may have been the reason that a relationship was ruined?” she confirmed with him provoking the tiniest of smirks to tug at his lips.

“I know where this is going,” he snapped his fingers and pointed out at Y/N who seemed to get uncomfortable. “You have a guilty conscience and you are trying to understand why I don’t. You’re trying to understand if you’re wrong or right for feeling guilty. And if that is what is on your mind with Negan and Maggie, I’m telling you, you shouldn’t feel guilty. You know that I heard your whole conversation with Maggie that night. I know the shit Maggie did to you. And it seems like she was purposely keeping you and Negan apart to be a bitch. I know Maggie was a bitch to you. So don’t feel bad.”

“It’s easier said than done,” she countered, tipping her head to the side and exhaling loudly. “I couldn’t even do this whole A and B thing with you because you already know my history with Negan.”

“Then tell me about your history with Daryl and use only A or B when you don’t want me to be biased,” he blurt out and she laughed realizing that this was stupid to even open up to him.

“I need something to make sure that things stay between us,” she shook her head not wanting the whole office to know everything about her personal life. “I need to know that I can trust you. Give me something to prove that.”

“Other than my beautiful face and puppy dog eyes?” he gave her a cheesy smile that only got him a glare in return. Scoffing, he rolled his eyes and huffed out loudly. “Fine, but if I find out you tell anyone what I’m about to tell you, well, then I’m going to have to kill you.”

“Fair enough,” she smirked noticing the color that flooded into Guy’s face when he dropped his stare down to his lap.

“My name wasn’t originally Guy Vixen,” he confessed, lifting his head to see that she didn’t seem very impressed with that information. “I had it legally changed when I got to a certain age and I’ve done a really good job at keeping it hidden.”

“Well no shit,” she commented, chuckling before taking another sip of the coffee that he had gotten her. “I figured your name was Guy and you changed your last name to stand out when you became a model. Most people do that.”

“No, it’s all fake,” he alerted her with a bounce of his eyebrows causing her to chuckle. “I mean, everything about me is real, but the name. My real name is actually Richard. But I hated it. Richard is the name of a lawyer, not a model or a fashion designer. And none of the nicknames fit me either. Rick, Richy, Rich…”

“Dick,” she added to the list to tease him which only rewarded her with a glare that had her bursting out in laughter. “I just had to do it.”

“And that’s why I changed my name,” he circled his finger in her direction which led to a curious expression. “My name was Richard Holden Johnson.”

“Oh come on,” she snorted finding herself amused with the name he had just given her. Laughter followed, but the way his face grew red with embarrassment she could tell that he was being honest with her. “You’re fucking serious.”

“I am,” he grumbled, waving his hand about trying to dismiss it. “Now you see why I changed my name. I told you I hated my mother. And obviously she hated me since she both abandoned me and gave me the worst fucking name in the world.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh,” she apologized with Guy shrugging his shoulders and lowering down in the seat. “I promise you I won’t tell a soul. I’ll take that one to the grave with me.”

“Yeah,” he grumbled to himself, clearing his throat uneasily. With him being embarrassed, it only thickened his accent. “Only my family and very old friends know my name, so yeah. Welcome to the club of knowing.”

“Strange club to be in, but fine,” she recognized that he gave her something in order for her to trust him and she sighed. “I’m not going to talk about this for hours, but I have had a crush on Negan since the first year of college. He was my teacher, he walked in and I was hooked. The only thing was? He was married for the first two years. I guess that wasn’t really a problem. I liked his wife, but she ended up passing away.”

It surprised her with how she seemed to have Guy’s full attention while she spoke, “Negan went into a very dark depression that I helped him through. That’s how I got close to Jordyn. I took care of both Negan and Jordyn when he couldn’t. The two of us were very, very close. I was pathetically head over heels in love with him. When I wasn’t in my classes, I would be spending time with him. We’d lay in bed talking all night.”

“And you never slept together?” he seemed surprised when she shook her head with his eyebrows bouncing up. “How is that possible?”

“Something happened once when he was married, but it was with his wife too and it wasn’t extensive,” she rambled on, knowing that she was probably saying too much because his face scrunched up and he seemed impressed to hear that. “But no, we never had sex.”

“So you’re…” Guy licked his lips, folding his arms in front of his chest. Awestruck to hear what she said, he cracked a smile. “You’re bi? So have you and Maggie like…”

“Knock it off,” she warned him before he even got started with her circling her finger in his direction. “My sexuality is not important at the moment.”

“Well, maybe not at the moment, but it might help later tonight,” he thought aloud only to have her playfully smack at his shoulder drawing out a laugh from him. “Okay, just continue your story. Why didn’t the two of you fuck?”

“I don’t really know. He says that he didn’t sleep with me because he was my professor and it would have been wrong for him to sleep with a student,” she explained to Guy what Negan had told her causing Guy to roll his eyes. “Then again, I never really fully told him how I felt about him. I kept it to myself because I didn’t know how he felt. He swears that if I would have told him, it would have happened.”

“Maybe,” Guy contemplated what she said, tipping his head from side to side. “Sometimes you have to put it on the table for men. But what I don’t understand is how he ended up with Maggie for four years if you were already…like that.”

“It’s complicated,” she confessed, releasing a long sigh when she realized she was reliving her past a lot more than she cared to. “It was the last year of college. I was his student teacher. Maggie came in to drop something off for me and I didn’t think much of it. She was my best friend, she knew how much I loved him.”

“I heard this part,” Guy interrupted her, tipping his head from side to side. Sighing loudly, she didn’t like talking this out with someone she barely knew that well, but he did hear her fighting with Maggie that one night after the event at the college, so he was already aware of what had happened. “So Negan is with Maggie for four years and nothing. What made him suddenly realize that he was an absolute puppy dog for you?”

“The truth? I guess? I got drunk that night I stood in for Maggie at the event and I kind of unloaded on him. When I started college, I considered going between film and fashion design. He had built me up so much that I really thought I could have been a big shit like he was. Instead I became…” she lifted her eyes wondering if she should really say what she thought about her job. “Well, I was Maggie’s slave.”

“Fair enough,” he didn’t fight her on that, his dark eyes narrowing when he sucked faintly at his bottom lip. “I get the appeal of film. Hollywood and all that, but the behind-the-scenes stuff? It’s really not that glorious. Unless of course, you get to mix the fashion design with the film. I don’t think you would have liked film.”

“Regardless, once he got with Maggie, I just kind of lost everything. My dream to work here. His promising me the world. So I ran my mouth off at the and he heard everything I was feeling. And then I asked him why he never made a move on me,” she explained to Guy making his right eyebrow arch up while he got more comfortable in the seat he was in. “I think he realized my feelings which he had so blatantly ignored and then Maggie ran her mouth off after he asked…”

“Okay, so he saw the light because it was spelled out for him,” he noted, spinning somewhat side to side as he gathered the information. “Now this Daryl guy. Tell me about him.”

“I’ve known him for about as long as I’ve known Negan,” she responded, her chest tightening when Daryl came to mind. “Daryl is older than me too. He had graduated from the campus and he had a job there. We met at a party and we were both in the corner somewhere avoiding people. I guess we clicked. Him and Maggie always despised each other. Big time. They always fought, but they were both my best friends so…I tried. The unfortunate thing is that I started to realize that Daryl had strong feelings for me, but…”

“You were in love with Negan,” he filled in the blanks drawing out a huff from her with the way he kept finishing her sentences.

“I tried really hard to just keep us as friends and for the most part we were. Until Maggie and Negan got together. I showed up at his house blasted drunk and we ended up sleeping together,” she informed him, watching his face scrunch up. His lips parted and he went to say something, but it was obvious he didn’t know if he should or not. “What?”

“I don’t want to sound like a dick, but you put off sleeping with this guy for four years because you didn’t have feelings for him. Or maybe you did, I don’t know, but Negan was the one you loved. I know I’m an asshole, but if you showed up at my door drunk out of your mind and sad because the person you loved broke your heart, I’m not going to fuck you,” he blurt out, shuddering at the thought having her release a long exhale. “It gives me the ick just thinking about it.”

“I feel like I threw myself on him,” she thought aloud, but it was clear that Guy still didn’t agree with what she was saying. “We were friends, I was feeling bad and I thought it would make me feel better.”

“But it didn’t,” he assumed, frowning at the idea of what she was telling him. “Sex feels nice when you’re emotional, but drunk sex? Yeah, that doesn’t help. I have a feeling you are going to defend Daryl here though, so just move onto the next part so we don’t get stuck here.”

“Okay,” she half laughed, not sure how to take his attitude about the subject. “After that? The two of us decided to date. With how good he was with me as my friend and how supportive he was? I thought it was a smart move, but when we started dating al he wanted to do was stay at home. He wanted to have sex, work on his paintings and have me stay in his apartment with him. Obviously, I couldn’t do that. When we were dating, he got jealous and angry. He’d get upset with me for working here. He would get upset with all the time I spent with Jordyn and I know it’s because of Negan, but it wasn’t working out. We were fighting all the time. It wasn’t the Daryl that I had grown to know as my friend. That relationship and bond we had when we were just friends? It was gone.”

“And that’s why I hate relationships. That ownership the other person holds over someone. Even if people don’t mean to, they become jealous and controlling,” he commented with her frowning and looking down toward her lap. “But you have feelings for this Daryl?”

“Yeah, of course I do,” she swallowed down hard, a lump developing in her throat when she thought about him being angry with her. “Daryl saw me when no one else did. What took Negan eight years to feel about me took Daryl one night. Beyond Jordyn, Daryl is the most important person in my life.”

“I see,” there was a conflicted expression over Guy’s features as he brushed his fingers through his dark hair and leaned back further into his chair. “And I assume it was a mutual break up when you finally did break up?”

“It was. It didn’t last long. We were fighting all the time because I wasn’t going to choose between my dreams, Jordyn and Daryl,” she explained, her mind going back to the conversation she had with Daryl last night. “My mistake was still sleeping with Daryl. I knew he still had feelings for me and I still had feelings for him. For a long time, it’s only been Daryl that I’ve been sleeping with. Yesterday, he got furious with me because I accepted the job with you and he wants me to take a job elsewhere with someone he knows. He also made it pretty clear that he doesn’t approve of me being in Jordyn’s life.”

“Are you the only woman he’s been sleeping with since you two broke up?” Guy questioned, amused with the expression she had made showing that was something she had never thought about. “I think that’s an important thing to know because if you’re the only woman he has been sleeping with he still thinks you guys are in an exclusive relationship. That would explain why he is getting possessive because you are doing the things he does want and we both know you’ve fooled around with Negan.”

“I guess I never thought to ask because I didn’t think it was any of my business,” she responded, taking a moment to think about the question. “I’ve never really seen Daryl with anyone else. So I don’t think so, but I don’t know?”

“Can you explain to me why you are so conflicted between the two of them? Just so I don’t fuck up perspective here,” Guy asked of her, folding his arms in front of his chest with him bobbing his head about.

“Because I don’t know what to do. Negan wants me to start a relationship with him. He’s already told his parents and his daughter that he wants to be with me, but he hasn’t broken up with Maggie. I condemned Maggie for cheating on Negan with you, but then I’m doing it myself and that makes me a cheater. Negan supports me working here and living my dream, but at the same time, I can’t help but think about how it took him eight years to realize how I felt about him. Instead of picking me, he picked my best friend and broke my heart,” she rambled on about Negan, her chest aching at the thought and then she shrugged her shoulders. “And then with Daryl? I told him yesterday that if he could accept me for who I am, meaning this job and loving Jordyn, I would get with him. I’d choose him. And he didn’t like that. He took off on me and left me in the middle of the street alone when he was walking me home.”

“Yeah, okay…” he exhaled loudly, dragging his hand down in over his face releasing a grunt when he thought about what she told him. “I don’t like either option when I think about it.”

“Guy,” she grunted, rolling her eyes when he threw his hands up in the air.

“Hear me out before you get angry with me,” he requested, holding his hand out in the air to get her to silence her frustrations with him. “You deserve better than both of them. I think you truly believe that Daryl is the person you should pick. Not because you love him the most, but because you think he’s the one that’s been the best for you. He’s your best friend, he saw you when no one else did. You just told me that you said to him last night that you would be with him. That you would pick him over Negan as long as he allowed you to work here to live your dream and accepted that Jordyn was part of you. If the man was head over heels in love with you like I think you believe he is, he would have jumped at the offer. Because then you would be his. He would have your whole heart. But that’s not what he wants. He wants you to be the version of you that he wants you to be. He wants to own you. He wants you to be his under his stipulations. I don’t like that. That’s abusive and toxic. He doesn’t love you for who you are. He loves the idea of you.”

“I don’t…he isn’t…” she paused to consider what Guy was saying. Frowning, she hated to think that’s what it was like with Daryl. Hearing that said out loud actually elicited her heart to skip a beat and she felt a lump growing in her throat. “I think his feelings are just hurt.”

“No, it sounds like you gave him your heart and he turned you down because that wasn’t good enough. You have to change you in order to be with him,” he stressed to her, snapping his fingers and being dramatic in the way his body movements were. “And Negan? He accepts you as you are, but he picked Maggie first and now that he knows Maggie is not the better option, he’ll finally have you? Because he had to have his eyes pried open for him to see the truth?  Yeah, I don’t think either one deserves you.”

“I think they’re both better than I am,” she explained which only seemed to irritate Guy even further with him throwing both his hands up in the air in a frustrated manner. Muttering something under his breath, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I do.”

“That’s the low self-esteem talking that is there after years of letting people walk all fucking over you. It’s something that we’re going to have to work on if you are going to be working for me,” he snorted, pointing his finger out at her and circling it in her direction. “You’ve put up with Daryl trying to control you from the start thinking that it was pure love, when it’s not. You watched the man of your dreams fall into your best friend’s bed. And you allowed your best friend to steal the job of your dreams out from under your nose. Because you’re too damn nice and now that you’re starting to think about yourself for once instead of serving everyone else, you think you’re the bad guy. Well let me tell you honey, sometimes you have to be the bad guy. Because you don’t deserve to be shit on for the rest of your life.”

Wow, that was not something she was expecting from Guy, but he sure as hell delivered in the way he said that, “I’m sorry I added to the feeling of making you feel worthless and bad about yourself. I’m an asshole. I know that. And I ignore the world around me. I don’t care who I hurt. You see, there are two sides of the spectrum. People like me and people like you. You need to be somewhere in the middle. If your mind is set on either Daryl or Negan? Don’t pick who you think you have to pick. Genuinely do what is best for you. Pick what your heart wants. Not what your brain tells you to pick. Because both men have to do a whole lot of proving in my opinion in order for them to be good enough for you. You deserve someone that sees all of you and accepts you as you are. Even the things that they may perceive as negative. Because loving someone means you see all of them and you still want to be with them.”

“You’re not as awful as you think you are, you know?” she spoke up after a moment of silence causing Guy to release a disgusted breath. “I think Guy Vixen is the character you play, but deep down I think Richard Johnson is a very kind man.”

“Don’t ever say that again,” he warned her with an amused smile, pointing his finger directly at her as if it was a threat. They both laughed until the sound of the door being pushed open was heard. Lifting his stare, Guy noticed that Maggie was barging into his room. “Good morning Maggie, it’s wonderful to see you this morning.”

“What did you do?” Maggie snapped, ignoring Guy completely in order to step between him and Y/N to look down at her. “What happened at dinner last night with Negan’s parents?”

“We had dinner?” Y/N stammered, her eyes narrowing with Maggie’s hands settling in at her hips. “What are you expecting me to say here Maggie?”

“I got a text from Negan asking me to come and pick up my stuff from his place either today or on Sunday,” Maggie alerted Y/N who gave her a surprised expression. Sliding his chair back, Guy made sure that he could now see Y/N with an amused rumble escaping him. “Apparently, he feels like things just haven’t been working out for us over the last few weeks and he thinks we’d make better friends. I got dumped through a fucking text message.”

“To be fair Maggie, I’m pretty sure he was trying to dump you yesterday in your office, but you did everything to avoid it,” Guy piped in, getting her to look back over her shoulder at Guy. Truthfully? He didn’t give a fuck if she was irritated with him. So he gave her a shit eating grin that had her letting out an angered breath. “You’ve been avoiding him so much, he probably thinks it’s the only way that he can break up with you. With all the work meetings you’ve been having and everything.”

“You had something to do with this,” Maggie insinuated, continuing to ignore Guy as she stepped in close to Y/N making things extremely uncomfortable. Standing up from the table, Y/N try to put some distance between the two of them feeling her heart hammering inside of her chest. “I know you did. You’ve been fucking with things ever since that event at the college. Someone doesn’t suddenly decide after four fucking years that things aren’t working out. So what did you do? Did you tell him about me cheating? Is that your way of winning Negan? Are you that pathetic that you have to trick him into being with you?”

“First of all, I would never break up with someone through a text message. I’m very against the whole idea of that,” Y/N started, making that very clear. That was not something she ever suggested Negan do. In fact? She suggested the opposite. Breaking up through text was not something that she was okay with. “Second of all, I haven’t said shit about you cheating on Negan. Not with Guy. Not with the pizza delivery boy…”

“How did you know about that?” Maggie inquired with Y/N looking behind Maggie toward Guy who wiggled his fingers about giving her another arrogant smile. “He’s a man by the way. Not a boy. You’re making it sound disgusting.”

“Regardless, I’ve said nothing to Negan. I had no idea he was even breaking up with you,” she explained, placing her hand in over the center of her chest to defend herself. Realistically? She wished that Negan would have warned her about this.

“Bullshit. You’ve been a really awful friend, you know that? For someone who made a promise to my father to protect me, you’re doing a really shitty job,” Maggie spat causing a chill to run down Y/N’s spine as she dropped her head. Trying to count, she didn’t want to explode on Maggie especially at work. “You know Negan is just going to run back to me.”

“Not here Maggie. If you want to talk after work, we can do that, but at the beginning of our workday? It’s inappropriate and unprofessional,” Y/N tried to put some distance between her and Maggie to make sure that nothing happened. “I can understand you are emotional right now…”

“He won’t even answer his phone. I went to his house and…” Maggie went to vent with Y/N tipping her head from side to side. “What?”

“He had a meeting today with that film company,” Y/N stated remembering a conversation that she had with Negan and his parents yesterday at the dinner. “So of course he isn’t going to answer his phone or be at home. It wouldn’t hurt to know your boyfriend’s schedule sometimes.”

“Ex-boyfriend?” Guy interrupted causing Y/N to cringe. Truthfully? She wished he wouldn’t be interrupting to push Maggie’s buttons further.

“I’m working and I have something I have to finish,” Y/N pointed down toward the art that was somewhere between where she was sitting and where Guy was since they had gotten lost in discussion. “I’m very close to finishing, so if you will give me a minute…”

“No, see that doesn’t work for me. You actually work for me,” Maggie reminded Y/N folding her arms out in front of her chest with her voice growing angrier. “So I can tell you when you can and cannot work.”

“Actually, she’s been promoted, so she really doesn’t work for you anymore,” Guy piped in, this time making the color in Maggie’s face grow extraordinarily red. Shrugging his shoulders, Guy could tell that Y/N was upset that he told Maggie about it. “You’re going to have to find yourself another assistant because Y/N no longer has that job.”

“You are something else,” Maggie’s accent grew thicker with her arms folding in front of her chest when she finally gave Y/N her attention again. “After everything you promised daddy, I thought you’d be better than this.”

“Don’t you bring your father into this. I went above and beyond what Hershel asked of me,” Y/N defended herself releasing a frustrated breath. “There is only so much you can do to help someone before they have to stand on their own. I can’t perform miracles Maggie. At some point? You have to grow the fuck up and learn to be a big girl on your own.”

Without warning, Maggie swiftly threw out her fist leaving a loud smacking sound to fill the small office when it connected with Y/N’s face. It had caused her to stumble back, her hand covering her face when she felt a burning in it almost immediately. Pulling her hand away, Y/N saw blood at the center of her palm and she felt Guy inserting himself between the two of them.

“You know, you should really focus on Daryl instead of putting your efforts into Negan,” there was venom in Maggie’s voice when Y/N’s angry eyes finally met hers. Guy was actually doing what a boss was meant to do in the moment to keep them separated. “Daryl is way more in your league than Negan is and even if Negan gives you the time of day, he’s going to realize that about you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Y/N was almost offended for Daryl in the moment, less caring about the diss that was no doubt directed at her along with the fiery pain at the center of her face. “There is nothing wrong with Daryl and for you to even insist…”

“He’s trash Y/N,” Maggie stressed to Y/N just how she felt about Daryl in the moment along with Y/N. “You two work together because…well, don’t make me say it.”

“That was bitchy,” Guy piped in, giving his full attention to Maggie while he made sure to put some distance between the two of them with his hand placing in over Y/N’s shoulder to stop her from moving. “I’m keeping some distance between the two of you, but don’t make me put my hand down and let her at you.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Y/N stammered, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand realizing that it was still bleeding. Digging into his pocket, Guy tried to give her his handkerchief that went with the suit that he was wearing. Accepting, she placed it up to her face and let out an irritated breath. “You forget where your place was Maggie. You were just a farmer’s daughter when we first became friends. Remember your roots before you tell me that I’m trash.”

Even though she was doing her best to stop the bleeding, Y/N realized that there was a chance that Maggie may have broken her nose with that hit. Maggie was a lot of things, but one thing was for certain, she had a hell of a right hook on her, “I won’t hit you Maggie. Maybe because I’m crazy. Maybe because deep down I feel like I deserve this. But you listen to me Maggie. Part of me will always care about you because I’m a fool, but I’m done. I’m done being your punching bag. Physically, mentally. I’m done keeping your head above the water. I’m done lifting you up while I’m drowning because of a promise I made your father years ago. I love your family and I loved your father, but I shouldn’t have to suffer just to make your life better. You’re not my best friend. Maybe you never were. If you think I’m trash? Fine. Think it. I don’t give a fuck. But I’m done taking your abuse.”

A proud sound escaped Guy who was doing his hardest to keep it down, but he was doing a very poor job at that, “And as far as Daryl? You don’t even know him. You just have always snubbed your nose at him because he is the one person in the world that saw beyond your beauty and charm. He didn’t fall for it. And he’s a better friend than you could ever be. Daryl is the furthest thing from trash. But you would never know that because you never gave him a chance. And that’s a fucking shame because Daryl is one hell of a guy. One that you might have actually liked if you got to know him. And he would do anything for someone he cares about.”

Before Maggie had any chance of a response, Y/N heard the sound of her phone ringing and she sighed loudly. Reaching for it, she realized it was the number to one of the mothers that was one of Jordyn’s best friends. Nodding to her phone, she almost requested permission from Guy to answer it who gave her a nod. Heading over toward the corner of the room, she could hear Guy and Maggie bickering behind her, but she didn’t care. Was she furious? Yes. Was her natural reaction to tag Maggie back? It sure fucking was. But thankfully Guy was there to put distance between them so there wasn’t an all-out brawl in the office.

“Hello?” Y/N answered the phone, unsure of why the woman would be calling her at this time. 

“Is this Y/N?” the woman on the other end questioned, sounding a little nervous in the way that they asked. “I don’t know if you remember me, but we’ve gone to a few events together at the school along with parties for the children. My name is Michonne and I’m Judith’s mother. I know you’re Jordyn’s…well, you’re her…”

“I remember you Michonne,” Y/N interrupted her knowing that her title was something that wasn’t very clear for anyone, let alone herself. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes and no. Today Jordyn was having a play date with Judith and I think Jordyn caught a stomach bug. She threw up earlier and I’ve been trying to contact Negan, but I know he was supposed to be in an important meeting so maybe he has his phone silenced. I don’t think it’s anything awful, but she does have a low-grade fever and I think she just wants to go home to rest. I know we exchanged numbers in case of emergencies and…”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Y/N didn’t need any further explanation. Hearing that Jordyn was sick was all she needed to get her to leave to go pick up Jordyn. “Just send me a text message with your address and I will be there as soon as I can be.”

Finishing up her conversation, she turned on her heel and saw that both Guy along with Maggie were waiting to hear what was going on, “Jordyn was at a friend’s house and she ended up getting sick. I need to go pick her up and take her home.”

Moving over toward her things, Y/N started to pack them up and she gave Guy her full attention, “I’ll take the work home and make sure to finish it over the weekend, okay? As soon as it is done, I will send it your way. I think I should have it done by Sunday for sure.”

“Yeah, of course,” Guy waved his hand about in the air showing that he didn’t mind having her leave early to go be with Jordyn. “Get it done when you get it done.”

“You’re just leaving…?” Maggie blurted out with Y/N clinging onto her things. “After everything, you’re just leaving?”

“Yes,” Y/N had nothing else to say to Maggie. Anything she had to say, she already did. 

Waving to Guy, he returned the gesture and Y/N was quick to leave the office. Out of the corner of her eye, Y/N could see that Guy and Maggie were deep in discussion and she didn’t care to know what it was even about at this point. She had enough of Maggie and her problems that seemed to arise.

Leaving work early was not her plan when she had a project to finish, but as she had already explained to Guy previously, Jordyn was more important to her than her job. And he seemed to understand that. 

It took a while to get to Michonne’s home, but by the time she arrived Jordyn was already waiting for her outside with Michonne and Judith. Thankfully Y/N’s nose had stopped bleeding by then, but she was pretty certain Michonne could tell that she had gotten hit. Michonne tried to ask questions to figure out what happened. And considering Y/N knew her husband was a police officer, Y/N really brushed those questions off. More than anything she just wanted to get Jordyn home.

Jordyn was eager to climb into Y/N’s arms in order to have Y/N carry her home. Thankfully, Negan’s home wasn’t too far away so the walk back wasn’t too hard. Jordyn didn’t say much, that’s how Y/N knew that Jordyn wasn’t feeling good. She just cuddled her head in against the side of Y/N’s neck and held tightly to her.

Getting into Negan’s home was a little rough, but she did have a key that Negan had given her a long time ago in case of emergencies. And this honestly felt like one. Kicking the door closed with her heel, Y/N carried Jordyn up to her room. Got her ready to be able to rest in bed and tucked her in. Just in case, Y/N grabbed her the things that Jordyn might need in case she got sick again.

When she had everything prepared for Jordyn, instead of leaving, Jordyn had begged her to crawl into bed with her so they could cuddle. Just having Y/N with her seemed to settle Jordyn. Only once had Jordyn thrown up again, but afterwards she seemed to just crash clinging to Y/N.

Stroking her fingers through Jordyn’s dark hair, Y/N cuddled her chin in closer to the top of Jordyn’s head. Even though this little girl wasn’t physically hers, she loved Jordyn in the way she felt like she would her own child. Nothing meant more to her than Jordyn. No one loved her as unconditionally as Jordyn did. How Negan’s daughter seemed to find comfort in her only proved that for Y/N.

For quite some time Y/N just laid there with Jordyn until the sound of the front door opening was heard. Rushing footsteps followed up the stairs and a moment later Jordyn’s bedroom door was being pushed open. Standing in the doorway, Negan looked panicked. First he looked to Jordyn who was out cold and then to Y/N. It didn’t take long for Negan to notice that Y/N had obviously been hit in the face too. Which only made Y/N consider how bad she must have looked. Both Michonne and Negan were quick to pick up on it. By the way Negan’s lips parted, she knew that Negan wanted to say something, but she hushed him and shook her head.

“We’re just resting,” she informed Negan who looked incredibly pale. What she assumed was that Negan was worried about Jordyn after opening his phone to all the alerts that he had missed during his meeting. Carefully pulling off his jacket, Negan revealed the white button down that he was wearing underneath. No doubt he was in that meeting because he was actually dressed up nicer than he usually was. Setting his jacket down on top of Jordyn’s dresser, Negan was cautious in the way he moved around Jordyn’s room. Crawling into bed with Y/N and Jordyn, he took his time lowering down at the opposite side of Jordyn. Cuddling his head into the pillow, he loosely wrapped his arm around Jordyn and Y/N.

Gradually, Jordyn adjusted beneath the weight. Yawning, her tired eyes came to a slow open with her looking over her shoulder to see that Negan was there, “Hey there. You doing okay?”

“Much better than earlier,” Jordyn whispered, getting more comfortable between both Y/N and Negan on her bed. Realizing that her father was there seemed to settle her even more when she did her best to cuddle into the both of them. “Y/N took care of me though.”

“Yeah?” Negan whispered, stroking his fingers through Jordyn’s dark hair in a calming manner. “She took good care of you?”

“Like any mom would,” Jordyn assured Negan, lowering her head back down to cuddle it in against Y/N’s chest. Yawning again, Jordyn clung tightly to Negan’s fingers. Pulling his arm closer, Jordyn made sure that she was comfortable before closing her eyes.  “I’m glad your home daddy. I love you.”

“I love you too baby girl,” Negan hummed, nuzzling his nose in against the back of her head. Pressing a lingering kiss there, Negan’s hazel eyes met Y/N’s and he gave her a small nod to thank her. Jordyn had easily fallen back asleep between the two of them. It was a while before either of them finally spoke up. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Y/N claimed with a weak smile, resting her head in closer to Jordyn’s. “I didn’t even think twice when Michonne called me. I know where I belong and where I want to be when Jordyn isn’t feeling good. She means everything to me.”

“I can see that,” Negan commented, swallowing down hard with him squeezing his arm tighter around both of the women beside him. For what felt like a very long time they had laid together in Jordyn’s bed. By the time the sun was completely set, Negan suggested that they get up and let Jordyn get her rest. Which meant he was cautious in the way he tucked Jordyn back into bed. Truthfully, Jordyn was exhausted. Nothing would have woken her up in that moment. While Negan pulled her blankets up, Y/N checked her fever to make sure that it was gone. “Better?”

“No more fever,” Y/N answered, standing up and allowing Negan to press a kiss over Jordyn’s temple. Heading toward the door, Negan grabbed his jacket and motioned her to follow him back downstairs toward the living room area of his brownstone. Rubbing her hands together, Y/N turned on her heel and let out a nervous breath. “I gave her something to settle her stomach and gave her some children’s Tylenol to bring the fever down. As far as I know, she only threw up twice. Once while she was with me and once while she was at Judith’s place.”

“Thank you for taking care of her,” Negan repeated what he had done earlier, hanging up his jacket and then returning to Y/N with a thankful expression. “The one time that I silence my phone is the one time that I’m needed. I can’t believe I didn’t realize…”

“It’s okay, I had her,” she assured Negan with a shake of her head, rubbing her hands in over her own shoulders realizing that she was a little cold in the moment.

“Here, let me turn on the fireplace,” Negan motioned her to sit down on the couch while he worked to put the fireplace on after he noticed that she was cold. “Do you want me to make you something for dinner?”

“I’m not all that hungry,” she was honest with him, giving him a weak smile. “After dealing with throw up, it doesn’t really appeal to your hunger all that well. I think Jordyn may have thrown up a little on this shirt.”

“Oh?” Negan breathed out, his eyes gazing upon her after he got the fireplace started. Rubbing his hands off on his pants, Negan started to unbutton the buttons that were on his white, long-sleeved shirt. Pulling it from his body revealed the white tank top that was beneath. Motioning her to stand, Negan held the shirt out for her. “Take it off and I’ll put it in the wash.”

“You don’t have to…” she started only to have Negan give her a firm expression. Doing as she was told, she took a moment before carefully tugging the shirt up over her body. A broken breath escaped Negan’s throat with his eyes lowering to steal a look over her, whether purposeful or not. Licking his lips, Negan motioned her to turn so he could help her put on the shirt he had given her. Once it was up over her arms and shoulders, she started to button up some of the buttons. Handing out the shirt that she was wearing previously, Negan accepted it and then disappeared down one of the hallways. When he started to return, she sighed loudly and shook her head. “I can leave if you want to get some rest. You probably had a long day.”

“I’d really rather you would stay so we can just hang out for a few,” Negan stammered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when he gave her a small shrug. Outstretching his hand, his fingers brushed in over the side of her face and he sighed loudly. “So what the hell happened?”

“Does it look that bad?” she wondered with his fingers grasping tightly to her chin to get her to tip her head back toward the light. Wincing, she realized that it still hurt and Negan frowned. Leading her toward the kitchen, he motioned her to lean back against the counter. Getting something from the fridge, Negan handed her over an icepack and she huffed. “You know, you should have told me that you dumped Maggie through text message.”

“Maggie did that?” Negan blurt out, surprised to hear that Maggie was the culprit in terms of what happened to her face. “Fucking hell. Why did she hit you?”

“Well, she came in furious about you breaking up with her through text and then started fighting with me about everything else,” she hissed out with Negan grabbing the icepack to get a better look at her. After he did, he gently placed it back in place and held onto it for her. There was a frown over his lips and she could tell that he was upset. “After everything she just hit me out of nowhere.”

“Did you hit her back?” Negan inquired, biting down on his bottom lip with a long sigh releasing from his throat. Tipping her head to the side, Y/N motioned him to lower the icepack for a minute. By her reaction, he knew that she didn’t. “You should have at least got one hit in.”

“I fucked around with her boyfriend,” she grabbed the icepack from him and brought it back up to her face to place there. “I feel like the least I deserved was a good right hook. If I would have hit her back, I would have been no better than her.”

“Sometimes you don’t have to take the moral high ground,” Negan suggested, reaching out to brush her hair out of her face. Moving in beside her, Negan folded his arms in front of his chest and exhaled loudly. “So you getting hit is kind of my fault, isn’t it?”

“You didn’t hit me,” she corrected him, reaching out to playfully smack at the center of his chest. Disappointment flooded his features and she could tell that he was actually blaming himself. “Oh, knock it off. Maggie and I would have gotten into a fight at some point. It’s not your fault that I got hit. Don’t take credit for something that you didn’t do.”

Pausing to think about things, she tipped her head from side to side before bringing the ice back up to her face, “Although? I told you in the past that I really didn’t think you should break up with Maggie through text message. It’s kind of a dick move.”

“Yeah, well, I kept thinking about you. About us,” he started, the muscles in his neck flexing as he spoke. “And I realized, I didn’t want to keep holding off on the chance of being with you. With starting something here. I know how you make me feel and Maggie was just going to keep dragging out the inevitable. Breaking up with her through text was the only option I saw. It was the middle of the night and I just knew what I wanted. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me for that. It’s just not the way I would choose to break up with someone,” she responded, her heart skipping a beat at the idea that he broke up with Maggie for the very reasons he just told her. “I can see why I ended up with a broken nose.”

“You really think it’s broken?” he wondered, lifting his hand to place it in over hers. Getting her to lower the ice, he frowned at the discoloration over her face. “I never realized Maggie was capable of this. Fuck. Or everything she has done.”

“Yeah, she’s got layers,” she handed him over the icepack and he dragged his feet across the floor when he went to put it back into the freezer. “Maybe I should leave.”

“Please don’t,” he begged of her, his eyes narrowing as he turned on his heel to face her. “I was thinking about playing a video game. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to and I would really like for us to spend some more time together. Without Maggie, without Daryl. Just the two of us.”

“Yeah okay. I guess I can stay for a few rounds of something,” she announced with a smirk as Negan clapped his hands together. Accepting his hand, she felt her heart skip a beat with how much he lit up at the idea of getting to spend time with her. It couldn’t be that bad, right?

----

Tags: @slutlanna976​ @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @pixelb4rbie @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

@akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03

@sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf

@promiscuousbarnes @peachihellcat @dilfsandmartinis

[lisssyyu]

Dried Blood - The Renaissance Project

PAIRINGS: VI × F!READER

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I honestly didn't think I'd write part two this quickly, but here it is. It's still not a full-fledged fanfic or anything, but... it's better than nothing, really.? English is not my native language, so if you see any mistakes, please point them out to me!

WARNING(S): —

TAGS: behavioral specialist!Vi ;; Jurassic World!au ;; drabble ;; arcane

@baylegend6 ;; @sevikas-whore ;; @klallx

туалет: 5.2k

часть: 1 ;; 2 ;; ?

A typical morning.

Your mornings were always busy: setting up your headset, making the rounds, attending a bunch of boring meetings in the lab, and writing mandatory reports. But today was different.

Today you have a free schedule. The meeting is only closer to lunchtime, which means you can afford to deviate a little from the protocol and do what you've wanted to do for a long time: watch Vi.

You haven't known each other for long, and your communication has mainly been based on teasing and sarcastic comments. But you couldn't help but be intrigued by the ease and.. devotion with which Vi approached her work. It was as if she lived among predators and spoke their language. And that raised questions. And interest.

You settled down on a higher observation platform, not particularly hiding, and picked up your notebook. This was not a work notebook, but a personal one, in which you wrote down not only the behavior of the animals, but also everything that did not fit into a dry scientific scheme. Thoughts, impressions, moments that could not be explained by formulas.

At first, everything went as you expected: cleaning, feeding, checking locks. Routine, almost boring work.

None of the raptors had shown themselves from the bushes yet. Only after a couple of minutes did you hear the soft squelching of paws in the mud and see Ship, Vi's favorite, whom she described as a fast, voracious creature.

"Come on, girl," Vi said, crouching down. "No tricks, or you'll push Wouter again like you did yesterday. I saw you."

The raptor clicked its teeth quietly, stretched its neck, and Vi held out a piece of meat to it. The next second, she slapped Ship on the side with a sharp movement. Not hard, more like a game.

"Yeah," she smiled. "I missed you too."

You exhaled, catching yourself smiling.

07:40 — demonstrative "play" behavior. Vi interacts with the individual as a social partner. Contact is not through fear, but through habit and mutual trust.

You wrote a lot. So much that you almost fell off your chair when Vi shouted at you without turning around:

"Hey, smarty pants, write this down too: 'The observed feels like they're under a microscope, but doesn't complain because the observer is damn annoying but cute.' "

You didn't answer. Your cheeks began to burn treacherously, and, trying to maintain at least some dignity, you silently got up and left as if you hadn't been sitting there at all, watching your "partner" go about his typical morning

A scar on her wrist.

It was summer. Hot is an understatement. Although it was almost always hot on this island, this time the sun seemed determined to melt everything alive. Management strictly forbade removing uniforms for safety reasons, but Vi, unable to stand it, thoughtlessly rolled up the sleeves of her signature dark blue shirt to her elbows just to lower her body temperature a little.

That's when you first noticed them.

Red, angry scars stretching from her wrists upward, as if wrapping around her arms. You froze, your gaze glued to those scars. You wanted to ask right away, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. And when you finally mustered up the courage and approached her, Vi, as you expected, simply ignored your question. She didn't even look in your direction. She just walked away.

You thought about it all day. You came up with theories. You imagined how she heroically defended someone from an enraged predator, how she grabbed the raptor by the mouth and didn't let go. In your mind, it was almost beautiful.

But at night, during your joint shift, when you were sitting next to each other, tired, in silence, and she was still wearing the same shirt with rolled-up sleeves, Vi suddenly spoke:

"It's not from a dinosaur. It's from a human. A stupid boy. I didn't know then that monsters also walk on two legs."

There was silence. Vi cleared her throat awkwardly and took a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of her back pocket. Her fingers trembled slightly.

"But you're not one of them. Thanks for asking."

"Zone 7".

A new enclosure was built. This meant it was time to release a young herd of predators into it. The management department immediately called a general meeting: employees, administrators, curators, and even scientists. You and Vi were among the first to arrive.

The discussion quickly turned into an argument. How to raise the herd and which method would give the best results?

Vi insisted on her approach: the "instinctive bonding" method, working with the dominant leader, creating a personal connection, and direct participation in the formation of the pack from the very beginning. Live contact. Risk, but stability.

You proposed a different approach: through positive reinforcement, a controlled environment, and creating a sense of security. Behavioral incentives, gradual socialization. No pressure.

Surprisingly, most of those present unexpectedly leaned toward your version. Maybe because it sounded more "scientific," or maybe because Vi spoke too harshly.You saw her clench her fists under the table. How tense she was. How, without saying a word, she got up and left. She just walked out of the room, ignoring everyone.

Later that evening, you found a note on your desk. The handwriting was uneven, slightly sweeping, clearly written in the heat of the moment:

"Good luck with the training, Professor. Just don't forget that they don't read your articles — they eat."

a holiday that doesn't exist.

Vi doesn't celebrate birthdays. It's like a taboo. No cakes, no congratulations, not even hints. No one knows why. Maybe it's because the past leaves marks deeper than scars on the skin.

Once, while sorting through documents in the archive, you accidentally found her personal file. It had the date she was born. It seemed like a small thing. But you decided to make a small gesture that might say more than words.

When Vi left for her morning rounds of the enclosures, you quietly slipped into her room and placed a small bag of dried mango slices on her bed, which she had talked about and praised so much. Next to it lay an old coin engraved with a raptor, a symbol of strength and freedom that seemed to have meaning for her.

Vi said nothing. Not that day, nor the next. She behaved as usual, flashing her cheeky grin and teasing you about little things.

But a week later, leafing through your observation notebook, you found someone else's handwriting on one of the blank pages.

Pencil. A little crooked, but clear.

Next to it, a raptor, sketched with quick but precise lines. And underneath it, the inscription:

"They remember those who share their food. So do I."

[nooscar2]

Since Kimi is taking his final exams these days, let me explain a bit how final exams work in Italy :)

The exams are divided into three parts.

The first part is writing an essay: you can choose from several prompts on literature, current events, or argumentative topics, and you have six hours to complete it (this is the exam Kimi took yesterday!).

The second part focuses on subjects related to your specific area of study, so it depends on the type of school you've chosen (Kimi chose International Relations and Marketing, and this year the exam, luckily for him, is about english and not about math, so he will probably do very well!).

The third part is the oral exam, which is the most difficult because you need to know almost everything about all the subjects. During the oral exam, the teachers give you a topic, and you have to try to connect it to as many subjects as possible and create a cohesive presentation. After that, they can also ask you additional questions!

And that's all! Stressful, isn’t it?

Today Kimi is doing the english exam, so we all wish him good luck!

[eldritch-bean]

@everything-transmasculine I performed my speech yesterday! twice in fact! it went down really well, and the second time was to my queer social group my school runs on a Tuesday, I got many compliments, and the one trans teacher said he was really proud of me 🥹

anyway here is the speech :)

hello everyone.

I'm going to talk about a few things today. I'm going to talk about queer history, and about just a few of the issues faced by trans and queer people in the 21st century. why should you care? I don't believe that's a question worth asking. if you find yourself unbothered by what I talk about today then I think you need to do some serious introspection, and really question what your lack of empathy stems from. it matters because we all matter. at any point in your life a person you love could be queer, and will therefore be part of a rich and complex world that you should support them in.

now that's out of the way, I want to give everyone here a little history lesson. I'm sure at least some of you know the basics of the Stonewalls riots, started in 1969 as a protest against the NYPD crashing gay bars and beating up queer people, but also against years of police, state sanctioned, brutality towards the LGBTQIA+ community. some of you may think that Marsha P. Johnson (an incredibly influential black trans woman) threw the first brick at the cops and kickstarted this international movement. however, I have a different story to tell. the real catalyst of the Stonewall Riots was Stormé DeLarverie, a mixed race drag king, who in today's terms would probably call themselves genderfluid. Stormé was arrested for crossdressing in the streets, as she was in full drag, and there were laws in place against dressing in clothes for ‘the opposite sex’ Stormé was assaulted by an officer and cried out for help, which was the tipping point of queer people in the streets throwing bricks and fighting back for the first time in history.

those laws designed to arrest people for expressing themselves, specifically for people perceived as women, were called Waywardism Laws. these laws targeted people who went about womanhood in ‘the wrong way’. to quote Hugh Ryan, the author of The Women's House of Detention: A Queer History of a Forgotten Prison:

“Prostitution, drunkenness, waywardism, disobedience to their parents, being out at night by themselves, wearing trousers, accepting a date from a man, accepting a ride from a man,” were all things punishable by this legislation. many of the women arrested in New York for these laws got sent to the House of Detention, opened in 1932. the prison was around 150 metres from the Stonewall Inn, and on the night of the riots, the prisoners could see what was happening outside their windows. angry and inspired, they started a riot of their own, burning mattresses, creating an uproar and shouting “gay rights! gay rights!” down from their windows.

by the time of the Stonewall Riots, around 75% of the incarcerated at the House of D were queer. it was at this time gay prisoners were marked with a ‘D’ (for degenerate) and placed in solitary confinement, because they were considered ‘a danger to other women’. the House of D was a prison, but it was a women's prison, which is an entirely different place. prisons are designed to make it's occupants model citizens; women's prisons are designed to make it's occupants model women. that is why so many gender non-conforming people, lesbians, butches, and trans men get utterly destroyed by this system. to quote Hugh Ryan once again:

“for those people who are concerned about the lives of incarcerated and formerly incarcerated people, queerness was seen as a threat to ever being a normal, healthy, happy, productive member of society.”

being trans, especially if you want to step back from femininity in any way, is excruciating. from my understanding, I have supportive family and friends, so my experience is on the easier side of things, at least partially. but on the whole, it's extremely difficult to even exist in the world today.

people like myself, those who fall under the umbrella term transmasculine (or are trans men), would tell you, on the whole, that they feel underrepresented and invisible, even within the wider queer community. constantly living beneath the shadow of pioneering trans women and femmes. that's not to say trans women and femmes aren't targeted in their own awful ways, but trans women are often at the forefront of conversation about transgender issues, transgender activism, and transgender protection. the people who we expect to rely on, the allies to our community, the ones advocating our rights, for the most part forget transmascs and men. unless it's convenient for their argument of course, meaning the only representation we get is the occasional footnote to make a point. for example, there was a recent bill that passed through the supreme courts, stating that the sex you were assigned at birth is legally the sex you are; meaning trans people cannot use their preferred bathroom or gendered space. this bill was badly written and directly contradicted many studies and previous legislation supporting trans rights. more importantly, it mentioned both trans women and men. but all that was reported on by the mainstream media, and all that was talked about in online and offline spaces, was how this would affect trans women. the one thing mentioned by anyone of trans mascs and men was as a ‘gotcha!’, using a hairy, bearded, 12 years on testosterone, 40 year old trans man waltzing into the women's bathroom. which completely erases the horrifying and bloody history of trans mascs and man getting assaulted, murdered, or committing suicide, because they could not use a safe bathroom.

this specific kind of erasure is called hyper-invisibility, and it directly contrasts the hyper-visibility that transfemmes and women face; both are deadly in different ways. much of transmasculine history has been painted over, replaced with feminist icons who were ‘forced into masculinity so she could achieve her dreams’, which has definitely been the case for many women, but it's simply incorrect to assume this of all masc presenting women of history- particularly those who made efforts to keep their male identities intact after their death, like James Barry.

Barry was a war surgeon, who went to university as a man, saved lives as a man, and died a man. Barry was the very first person to ever perform a caesarean section where both the mother and child survived. He is widely accepted as one of the few surviving records of transmasculinity, and yet too many people believe his story is a tragic one, this poor woman who had to pretend to be a disgusting, ugly man. There is so much pressure in the queer community today in order to be acceptable, in order to be safe, you have to perform femininity. it's not fair to push people who wish to move away from femininity, or be something feminine but still have a choice in expression, towards it just to feel vindicated. the general excuse for hate towards transmasculinity is ‘my trauma associated with cisgender men means I don't feel safe around masc people’. that trauma does not allow for you to force others out of what they wish to be, what they are comfortable being, and who they are. that fear and hatred of men is something to discuss with a professional, and if instead what happens is anyone choosing masculinity gets pushed away, and out of the one place they believed would welcome them, well, I think we have to reconsider what the queer community is and whether or not we can still call it the place for whoever does not belong.

I'm trying to compile info about transmasculine erasure for a speech I'm writing to perform as part of my gsce's. do you have any good pointers or places to go for my own research????

anything and everything is much appreciated <33

of course! i apologize for how long this took - unfortunately theres not a lot of resources on transmasculine people due to aforementioned erasure... but heres some different articles i found, both by and for transmasculine people of all walks of life. keep in mind that this will be a combined list of both personal opinion articles, coupled with actual research papers. i hope these resources help! and if anyone has any other information, or examples of, erasure, please feel free to add them to this post! as for doing the research yourself, i always say start with google and narrow it down from there - key words and key terms, read through each and every article, and extrapolate information. play a non-lyrical song in the background if you need noise to focus, and never be afraid of digging deeper!

Not Manly Enough: Femmephobia’s Stinging Impact on the Transmasculine Community by Tat Bellamy-Walker

From Erasure to Opportunity: A Qualitative Study of the Experiences of Transgender Men Around Pregnancy and Recommendations for Providers by Alexis Hoffkling

excerpts from Talia Bhatt's TRANS/RAD/FEM deconstructed by genderqueer-butch

How Jamison Green’s Visibility Paved the Way for A Generation of Trans Men by Jude Ellison S. Doyle

Not TransmascInvisibility, but Erasure: Antitransmasculinity as Erasure by S. L. Void

What the Experiences of Trans Men Can Teach Us About Masculinity by Aayaan Singh Jamwal

A Visible Absence: Transmasculine People On the Screen by Beck Banks

Strip Searches, Trauma, Isolation: Trans Men Describe Life Behind Bars by Aviva Stahl

Roe Is Gone. What Happens for Trans Men? by Elias Fox Bova Schmidt

Eraserhead by Jude Doyle

[angelfoodscake]

me last night: hheeeeeeugggg im so sleepy i should go to sleep early tonight i slept so late last night

my brain: RECREATE THE ENTIRE SS FLAVION IN MINECRAFT RIGHT NOW

[sualne]

some of the portraits ive made for my kingmaker games

[shirehobbit]

From left to right: Glenn, Gregory and Grant

[rainbowgaez]

this cardigan always makes me feel like i look like somebody's weird mom

[spockvarietyhour]

Encounter at Farpoint makes more sense when you've watched an entire most of a season of V.

yes TNG had the 60s writers and Gene Roddenberry were huge part, but the music, directors, production…, I've gotten a lot of whiplash how V's Visitors (in the series specifically) are closing in on early TNG aliens.

Somehow TNG took things that work and didn't in V and incorporated in there.

And by no means should anyone watch V the Series..

[whenastrofell]

Mom I’m famous

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 14

“He Set Her Off” by Emily Ann Roberts

[todaysromano]

02.23.2024

Today, Romano got to relax and have fun.

[anarcho-masochist]

It really is like my brain went, "Wow, those are powerful intrusive thoughts you've got there. You know what's more powerful? Your desire to see this guy traumatized. Have 1.5 days of maladaptive daydreaming about them."

[cultivating-wildflowers]

mood for the morning: turning around for the second time because I forgot something else at the house. there are half a dozen tiny pumpkins rolling around in my front passenger seat.

[chaiposting]

double music and double english and bio??? BEST DAY