#floss your ed

[mariekanker]

wholesome double d + bugs compilation

[libdeminomenon]

2025 Predictions:

- Rachel Reeves gone by the end of the year.

- The Rest Is Politics interview Kamala Harris and / or Michelle Obama.

- Peter Mandelson / other important Labour Party figure is exposed in a leak slagging off Trump. Outrage.

- Keir Starmer hugs Ed Davey and they play FIFA for charity.

- Lee Anderson pornography scandal.

- George Osborne randomly admits he did a fuck load of cocaine at one point in his political career and no one is surprised.

- Right-wing media starts panicking that Keir Starmer is going to make us join the Euro currency, based on absolutely zero evidence.

- Ian Hislop / other big pundit goes viral slagging off Brigit Phillipson’s education policies and she is forced to fight for her job.

- It is revealed that the Tory sleaze was even worse than originally thought. Boris Johnson makes a Nick Clegg-style apology video and it is immediately remixed into a chart-topping banger.

- Wes Streeting cries publicly. He is also accused of bullying within the Labour Party but that is unrelated.

- Kemi Badenoch has an Ed Miliband bacon sandwich moment.

- Israel win the judge’s vote in Eurovision.

- House of Lords reform becomes The Big Thing. Keir Starmer faces rebellion from his own party as some of them quite like being lords. Lib Dems win more public support through this.

- Sir Sadiq Khan scandal. Labour Party refuse to acknowledge it and bring up Tory COVID parties whenever it’s mentioned.

- Someone makes a Rory Stewart documentary and suggests that he *was* a spy.

- Nigel Farage is videoed saying he doesn’t care about how much the British people are suffering so long as they continue to vote for him. His supporters either defend him and accuse the Left of not being about to take a joke or defect to another far-right party.

- Daisy Cooper dabs / flosses / does a TikTok dance.

- A petition to ban Donald Trump from the UK reaches five million signatures. It fails to change anything, but the Liberal Democrats and the Greens lead a protest of over a million people through the streets of London.

- Trump says he loves the English people but he’s not so keen on the Pakistanis and the Welsh.

- Ed Balls has a massive argument with Rachel Reeves on Good Morning Britain. He is accused by Centrists in the Labour Party of being “a traitor” and “a bad husband”.

- Someone shits themselves in the House of Commons.

- Tony Blair says something about trans people again / is photographed with JK Rowling. In response, Gordon Brown comes out with his unequivocal support for trans people everywhere.

- Ed Miliband paints his nails.

Feel free to add your own predictions !! I’d love to hear what everyone thinks :)

[gowns]

lately i have been

watching movies

reading books

practicing piano

taking long walks

being more methodical with my bedtime routine**

writing and outlining more regularly

and just generally repairing my attention span*. it's possible

the trick is to look for stretches of time where you can get it. i don't know how else to describe it tbh. and it sounds like nonsensical common sense. i guess it's like... find the tiniest stretches of time where you can't do anything else, and those are the times when you can be on your phone.

e.g. say i'm waiting for coffee to boil, about 1-2 minutes. i can't practice piano in that time, but i can check my email or instagram or whatever. but then, let's say i look at the clock, and there's nothing in particular to do for the next 20 minutes... well surely, i can practice a two page piano piece in that time. or at the very least do some scales or chords. or let's say i've just been tapping away at my work on my computer for an hour or two, it's a good time to get up and take a walk outside, or switch to paper (reading / writing). haha i know this is advice we've all heard before.

i guess like, one of my main downfalls is repeatedly checking my phone because i think a magic email or text will arrive. eventually i had to come to terms with the fact that this magic message will never arrive. and if i do have an important message, chances are i can answer it around 9am or 2pm, something like that. and if i'm checking my phone at 11pm what can i actually do about it? am i even in my right mind to do something about it?

--

*ed. note - yes i have read the things critical of the concept of "attention span" and well even if it's a fake concept let's say i struggle from a lack of this fake concept, shall we say... pathologically so...

**methodical bedtime routine: 9-10pm is ME TIME underlined three times, this is the time to watch something on TV, fuck around online, read a book, eat a popsicle, whatever. don't half ass the "me time," really go for it. if i'm half-working half-relaxing then i don't feel all the way relaxed, then i'm tempted to "steal" time back for myself post 11pm when i should be in bed.

anyway, sometime between 10-10:30pm: shower or bath, take melatonin if no sleep the night before, use water pick floss, wash face, moisturize, pajamas, drink water, brush teeth with nha toothpaste, duolingo, write in journal (if i have energy) / read book (if i have lower energy) / get in a last gasp of mindless scrolling if my energy is in the negative. last steps: turn on jazz in the rain playlist*** with a sleep timer of 30 minutes, turn off light

***somehow i pavlov-ed myself with this playlist and 5 out of 6 nights this will put me right to sleep like a bird with a blanket on its cage

[verbosenerv0sa]

About *gasp* little ol MOI?? yes indeedly doodles!! :D

Ciao, I'm Verbose!

Please do NOT @ me in reblog chain posts, especially if they include non-€D users!!

TW for di$0rdered nomming and also sometimes NOT nomming 🍽️

I primarily have experience with BED, but do relate to some aspects of a4a and m!4 and am always working towards being a better restricter. I also have food aversions which may or may not align with 4RF!D, meaning my safe foods may not seem like proper "a4a food" but I just eat what I can and I do my best. We're all just doing our best here, aren't we?

(Note: 4rf!d is not an ed in the same way as other eds, and there is potential for a lot of harm in the mixing of the 4rf!d community with the a4a/m!4 community. I strongly discourage crosstagging for the safety of the 4rf!d community, at THEIR preference.)

I have chronic pain and fatigue which makes this especially hard on my body. I require a higher intake to function and mostly only exercise by pacing around in my room, as a proper workout will cripple me for a week.

My favorite color is orange! (Ironically and very sadly, I am allergic to actual oranges 😭)

I am genderfluid 🩷🤍💜🖤💙

I don't mind words like girl or boy, but why not simply call me pookie or a bitch (nicely please), or whatever. Get creative!!

Pronouns are she/him/his (as in using she, but never her. Example: "She b!nged like a madbitch and tried to thr0w up, but she couldn't fricking do it so she paced around his bedroom for three freaking hours to try and get back under his maintenance cals. No, she is not ok, yes, you should probably pray for him.")

If you are a j¡ra¡/l4ndm¡ne blog I will possibly block you. I know a lot of you are €D blogs but your content is mixed and I do not want to interact with outside communities. If you like my posts, fine, but please do not reblog them to your j¡rai blogs!!

DNI:

- Anyone who judges the character of any entire large group based on stereotypes or a small example of the population.

- If you're going to be hateful.. just please don't, ok? Chill out. Go floss your teeth or something, chances are low you've done that recently. (if you do floss, props to you!)

- If your blog is AT ALL s3xu4l you do NOT have my consent to interact at all (not that you probably care about that) and you will most likely be blocked, and definitely reported if you are disrespecting the guidelines of the Blr. I will not entertain you in the slightest. You will get no response. Only an immediate block.

- Non-€D blogs. If you are dealing with an €D and/or enjoy this side of Tumblr, you need to make a separate account WITH a new email address if you are going to do any more than lurk. NOT a side blog, and not your main. I'm serious. Mixing communities is not ok, because it increases the risk of non-€D users being exposed to this content and puts €D users in danger of having their blogs reported by outsiders (which is basically just killing another gmail and progressing humanity towards having to always use a bunch of random numbers. Do you want your email address to have to look l!k€ 4n 3D 7um6l€r p0$t because all the email addresses are TAKEN by t-worded blogs??)

I understand the inevitable mingling of the €D and $H communities, and am ok with it to some extent, however, please take care not to risk exposing unsuspecting people (in this case Me) to graphic images!! This is a friendly reminder that some of us are sensitive and aren't equipped to see that content. All you need to do is include a TW and vague description of what is below the read more (which should ALWAYS be present. No, putting a bunch of scroll space is not equivalent.) so that other people know whether or not they are comfortable with viewing your post. This is not an unreasonable ground rule.

My tags:

#verbose blabs concisely for once in its freaking life (short posts - I don't use this much anymore?)

#verbose blabs with a moderate amount of wordiness (medium length posts)

#verbose blabs verbosely (long posts and general important content)

#verbose yapathon (random yapping that's probably not ed-related)

#verbose asks stupid questions (polls)

#verbose gets an ask yippee!!! (asks)

plus sometimes random tags just for funsies or ✨seasonal✨ tags but they almost always have my name and pronouns in them (kind of just a style choice?)

And now do you understand my verboseness? I use a lot of words, can't help it! Congratulations on making it to the bottom of this, you might be tired now. I know I am.

[screamqueenmacher]

Final Girl (Stu Macher x Reader) - Chapter 5

getting closer to being caught up to ao3

It felt like your body was on fire. It was hard to breathe, but you didn't know why. Your eyes were so heavy, there was almost no way for you to open them. You could feel your lips twitch into a frown, your brain trying to understand the weight on top of you. Why was the weight almost…comforting? 

It reminded you of when you were younger, when you used to take naps with your best friend. He was never good at staying in one position as you both slept, and often ended up in what you, affectionately, called his koala position. He would sling one leg and one arm over your body, trapping you between him and the bed. 

Your best friend. Stu Macher. 

Stu Macher. The murderer.

Your brain was finally awake, your eyes slowly forcing their way open. The situation reminded you of Stu because it was Stu. His face was close to yours, so close that you could feel his breath every time he exhaled. He did, in fact, have you koala-ed, his chest partially pinning your shoulder down so you were stuck on your back. He looked peaceful, sleeping as if you were still kids, as if…

You tried to force yourself to forget about it. The faster you could get over everything, the better. Stu would be happy, and Billy wouldn't kill you. Probably. 

In reality, you were filled with envy. You envied Randy, and Tatum, and Sydney. They lost their lives, but they didn't have to live a life trapped in a sick and twisted lie like you did now. You envied Stu. You wished you could be as carefree and peaceful as he was over the whole thing. You envied anyone that didn't go to that fucking party that night.

“It's creepy to stare at people while they sleep.” Stu's voice was soft, but it still startled the hell out of you. That only made him laugh, and his eyes barely cracked open. 

“Sorry.” You tried to give him a small smile, but you didn't let the silence stretch for long. “Can you, uh, let me up? I've gotta pee.”

“Ah, sorry, baby doll. Looks like I still do that thing.” He unwrapped himself from around you, and you didn't hesitate to sit up. You also didn't hesitate to hurry out of bed and to the en suite bathroom.

You had told the truth, you really did have to pee. But, fuck, you needed a moment to yourself. You had a bad feeling that you weren't going to have many moments like that. Not if Billy still knew the truth about how you felt. Because there was no way he didn't know every thought running through your head, you were sure. 

Maybe you took extra time to wash your hands. Maybe you decided now was a good time to brush, and floss, and maybe even brush again, your teeth. Dental hygiene was important. And so was avoiding your new boyfriend for just a little longer. 

Taking a deep breath, you opened the door, only to see Stu standing directly in front of you. This time, you didn't yelp or scream, but you did jump. He had a serious look on his face for a moment, but then a wide grin split his face. 

“You're too cute. Really startle easy, huh?” He teased, moving you both so you were now in the bedroom, and him in the bathroom. Door closed, you were left to yourself again. 

Fuck. You had to start acting normaler. Stu was goofy, and silly, and a clown…but he wasn't stupid. If he wasn't starting to suspect your discomfort already, he would notice soon. If he noticed, you probably wouldn't have much time left before he let Billy finish you off. How could you start being…okay with it all? You didn't know, but you had to start.

Checking the time, it was still morning. It was Sunday, and you didn't have to work. You could work with this. You could make yourself play the part. You pulled on a bra, and ran your hands through your hair to take it down some, finishing just as Stu came back into the bedroom.

“I think I'm gonna make breakfast for us. And Billy, obviously.” You gave him a small smile, heading for the door to your bedroom. You readied yourself, almost expecting the other man to be on the other side, but he wasn't. Thankfully. 

“Oooo~ how sweet! Breakfast sounds great!” Stu followed closely behind you, even following you into your kitchen. Billy was still yet to be seen. 

“I'm thinking scrambled eggs, bacon, and…” You opened the freezer, pulling out a box of waffles. He used to love those. “Eggos? Maybe you can find a movie or something while I get everything made? I still have that copy of Thirteen Ghosts I borrowed from you.”

“It's like you know the way to my heart.” He pretended to swoon before sweeping in to give you a kiss. With a boyish laugh and wink, he left you in search of movies. 

Eggs, bacon, and waffles. Easy peasy. Getting yourself to fucking relax? Difficult. The food at least kept your mind partially busy, but you still wondered where Billy was. You know he stayed, there's no way he hadn't. But why hadn't he made an appearance yet? 

You opened the fridge, grabbing the bottle of orange juice. When you closed the door, there he stood, the man himself. Billy Loomis. You almost dropped the bottle, cursing as he smirked at you. Was he fucking Beetlejuice or something? You just had to think about him enough and he would appear?

“You really are easy to scare, eh, Y/N?” How was someone able to sound so aloof and so intense at the same time?

“Guess I am.” You grumbled, grabbing plates and cups from the cabinet. You felt him against your back, his chest almost pressed to you, as you watched him grab the dishes as well.

“Here, let me help.” Was he being genuine, or was he trying to make you uncomfortable? 

“Thanks.” Your answer was clipped, and you felt tense as he lingered so close to you. Finally, he gave you a reprieve by setting the plates on the counter, away from you. “Why don't you go get Stu, and I'll make plates for everyone.”

“Sure thing.” He gave you a smile, a small, warm, genuine smile. Or so you would believe if it weren't for the coldness in his eyes. 

You took many, many deep breaths, making plates for both men first and taking them to the kitchen table. You needed to fucking relax. Maybe…maybe you were reading too much into Billy. Maybe he wasn't ready to kill you at any moment. Maybe you were just being paranoid. You didn't know, but you did know that you had to stop pouring the juice before you spilled it, because that was what was about to happen. 

“Smells good! Looks good!” Stu clapped his hands, rubbing them together as he sat at the table. You smiled, bringing over the glasses of orange juice for the men.

“Thanks.” You grabbed your own plate and glass, joining them at the table. Once you were seated, Stu dragged your chair closer to him, making you blush. 

“So, Y/N, when do your parents come back?” Billy asked, seeming to just make small talk. You suspected there were ulterior motives. 

“Like…three more weeks, I think?” You swallowed hard, paying close attention to your food. “Once they heard I was okay, they decided they weren't going to cut the trip short.”

“Aw, that's okay, bunny! You can come stay with me, or I can come stay here! You won't be alone.” Stu probably didn't understand how threatening that actually was, but it did confirm your worry. You wouldn't be alone for who knew how long.

“Yeah, that works for me. Um, either.” Your eyes flitted to him, giving him a reassuring smile. “Maybe you could stay here. Since, you know, your house is a crime scene and everything.”

“Good point! See? What would I do without such a smart girl?” He laughed, looking at Billy. Billy, who was watching you closely, but still had a relaxed smile on his face. 

“Stu, your parents are going to freak when they see the house. You had to call them from the hospital, right?” Billy had a good point. Maybe Stu wouldn't be able to be around you 24/7.

“Yeah, I did. They said they were just happy I was okay. They'll be back tomorrow.” He deflated some, slumping in his chair. He picked at the eggs with his fork, moving them around aimlessly before taking a bite. “It'll be fine. Especially since it's you, doll. They'll let me stay with you.”

“Oh, good. Don't have to worry, then.” You smiled, trying to look relaxed, sipping at your juice. Fuck. Fine. You could…you could handle this. Billy Loomis be damned, you'd make this fucking work. “We can get to school together, like we used to.”

“Oh, man! We still have school!” He groaned loudly before rambling on about how much he was displeased by that reminder.

[dark-elf-writes]

I know practically speaking Sally probably taught Percy to drive, but what if it was Paul.

Sally had been wanting them to bond, after all, and Percy couldn’t deny the fact that he liked the guy but at the same time…

It was ridiculous really, being as scared as he was. Percy had faced off against gods and monsters. He frequently angered titans and had looked into the pit of Tartarus itself. Paul was a high school English teacher that cried when he watched movies and got excited about Shakespeare. Percy shouldn’t be scared.

(His hands were shaking as he wrapped them around the wheel of the car. Paul’s car. Percy’s body was as tense as Apollo’s bow string. Waiting. Waiting.)

“You’re going to be fine, Percy.” Percy didn’t flinch. He instead when still like he was nothing more than one of Medusa’s shadows. If he noticed, Paul was kind enough not to point it out. “We’re just going to start with a couple laps around the school parking lot. Nice and slow, okay?”

Right. Percy had to learn how to do this. He was signed up for drivers Ed soon and then he would be in a different car with a different man and—

“What if I fuck it up?” Normally Percy watched his language better. He and his mom had a “Don’t ask don’t tell” policy when it came to ‘words that came out of Percy’s mouth in a high stress situation’ but he was, in fact, stressed so it seemed fitting.

Paul didn’t even blink. Then again, he dealt with stressed teenagers on a daily basis so Percy doubted “fuck” was going to scandalize him. “We’ll be in a parking lot, Percy. Nothing to hit and we’ll be going slow enough that I can help you if it looks like you’re not going to turn in time. The worst that could happen is we bump into one of the light poles at five miles an hour.”

Hearing it out loud made sense and Percy knew it was stupid to keep pushing his luck, but, well, wisdom was Annabeth’s thing.

“Won’t you be mad?”

For a moment Paul looked lost, like he was was trying to read something only to find out it was written in some indecipherable code (a common issue for Percy, but he guessed it was a bit weirder without the dyslexia) then understanding dawned in his eyes.

(He and mom didn’t talk about Smelly Gabe anymore. There was never a reason to. He was gone, hopefully rotting in the Fields of Punishment while his statue gathered dust in some gallery in SoHo. It didn’t matter anymore.

Sure, Sally flinched when men yelled. Yeah, Percy had flipped Travis Stoll into the dirt when he had grabbed his shoulder from behind. And fine Percy kind of wanted to blow chunks at the thought of driving Paul’s car after years of hearing threats about a stupid fucking Camaro. But it didn’t matter. They had made it. They were fine.)

“Percy, bud, can you look at me?”

Percy could think of a whole list of things he wanted to do more than look at Paul in that moment, up to and including flossing a hydra’s teeth and arm wrestling a fully grown cyclops, but… Paul’s voice was soft. Kind. The kind of voice Percy had always imagined a father would have when he was little.

He looked. Paul smiled at him even as his eyes remained serious.

“I won’t be mad if something happens to the car. You’re learning and accidents happen. Hell, even if you get your license and something happens years from now I won’t be worried about the car. My concern is and will always be your safety.”

Percy blinked. “But… but I’m stupid! I’ll get distracted or read a sign wrong or something will—“ Percy was glad Paul cut him off before that thought could continue. They were still adjusting after the whole Demigod Conversation, and it probably wouldn’t put to many points in favor of he and his mom not being crazy if he talked about monsters attacking him while he’s driving.

“You’re not stupid.” Paul didn’t raise his voice. He never really raised his voice even in class apparently. Something about him just made people want to listen. Made Percy want to listen. “You are a wonderful, intelligent kid, Percy Jackson and anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking idiot.”

A hysterical giggle caught in Percy’s throat. Between the idea of Paul’s face when he realized he had called several gods ‘fucking idiots’ and hearing Paul curse at all (it was like hearing Chiron say he wants to quit teaching and become a full time Party Pony. It just didn’t happen.) Percy wanted to laugh. He also wanted to cry, and he wasn’t entirely sure why.

He settled for laughing, a bit choked and a little too wet as he ducked his head to hide his eyes, but a laugh all the same. “That’s a lot of fucking idiots.”

Paul laughed too and for a fleeting second Percy felt a hand on his head. Steady. Warm. Grounding. “The world’s full of them, kiddo. You, me, and your mom? We’re some of the few good ones.”

It took them a while to actually start driving, but by the time they did Percy felt like the weight of the world had fallen off his shoulders (he should know.)

[lovelandfrogispookybear]

12: Brushed and Flossed

Steve's pov

I'm leaning on the kitchen counter, watching Robin talk to Nancy. Everyone else is milling about, doing their own thing.

I hear a ruckus from the bathroom. Quietly, I walk down the hall, and can hear voices.

"YOU NEED TO CLEAN UP YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Eddie shouts.

"BEGONE THOT!" Otto replies. Damn, I didn't know she had that in her. Maybe she's just shy. I knock on the door, and it swings open.

"Eddie, you want to go formally say hi to everybody?" I ask tiredly. "I'll help her get cleaned up."

Eddie looks, reluctant, but takes off anyway. I set down the beer I was drinking, and approach Otto.

"Okay kiddo, no fighting. You got bugs on my dad's nice rug, and to avoid that, we're going to get cleaned up, okay?" I motion to the shower. "When you turn that knob, water will come out. Use the pumps over there for soap, and get all the grime out. When you're done, towel off, I'll bring you some clothes, and then I'll brush up your hair back into ponytails. Deal?"

Otto nods.

"I'm going to go get you some clean clothes, you just throw your dirty clothes into that sink."

I walk out and close the door, and hear the shower switch on. God knows if the kid can actually clean herself, judging off how filthy she was. Might as well let her try, worst case scenario Robin or Nancy could help.

"STEVE! I'M PUTTING ON THE TV!" Mike shouts.

"Yeah, yeah, do whatever," I mutter. Slowly, I trudge into my room and rifle around for suitable clothes. Eventually, I find a clean white shirt and a too small pair of flannel pants that should fit her. I hear laughter from the living room and some stupid sitcom plays.

"Ready for clothes now," the kid mumbles from the other side of the bathroom door. I slip the clothes under the door, and within a few minutes, the door creaks open again.

Otto looks like a whole new person from the one she was 10 minutes ago. Her hair, once a muddy brown mess, is now a pale shade of brown. Her face, formerly covered in dirt, is now clean and pale, but with some small scratches showing. I look into the empty shower, and see a thin layer of crust and bugs plastered to the bottom. A still live centipede crawls down the drain. Of course.

"Alright now, sit down on the counter and I'll brush your hair and bandage you up," I explain, pointing to the sink. Otto scrambles up, and perches on it. I grab my brush and detangler, and get to work.

Otto's pov

"Ohhhh Harringtonnn!" Eddie calls, walking down the hall. "I think it's my turn to clean up!"

Steve walks out of bathroom, and I follows.

"Look at you!" Eddie ruffles my hair. I smiles, my pointy teeth (that have also been freshly "flossed" and "brushed" even though brushing is for hair) that Eddie calls "fangs" sticking out.

"I'm all clean now, Eddie!" I explains, showing him the ponytails Steve gave me.

"Now it's Eds turn to use the shower!" Eddie grin, flicking a specks of dirt at Steve.

"Be warned, there's-" Steve start.

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BUGS IN HERE?" Eddie screeches.

"Steve, can I-" I starts.

"Not now kiddo," Steve starters. "I'm too tired to deal with all this."

[ausetkmt]

How to Quit Just About Anything

Alex Dalenberg

Image by Vyacheslav Dumchev / Getty Images

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What You Gain When You Give Things Up

Arthur C. BrooksThe Atlantic

Voluntarily sacrificing pleasurable things resets your senses and makes you master of yourself.

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A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit

Judson BrewerTED Ed

Learn more about the mechanism of habit development and discover a simple but profound tactic that might help you beat your next urge.

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How to Stop Looking at Your Phone

Rachel SaslowVox

Don’t use it as an alarm, and other tips to break your insidious little habit.

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How to Quit Fast Fashion: ‘Sometimes We Don’t Need Retail Therapy, We Need Actual Therapy’

Lucianne TontiThe Guardian

From browsing Pinterest instead of retail sites to delaying gratification, four people who’ve forsworn fast fashion share their anti-shopping habits.

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Want to Swear Less? Here Are 5 Methods You Can Try

Emily PetskoMental Floss

Swearing is awfully good fun, and in some ways, it’s even good for you. However, it’s not always proper in the presence of polite company, and as we all know, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. So if you’re trying to cut back on cussing, here are a few tactics you can try.

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How to Quit Meat — Without Feeling Like S***

Joe BrownRolling Stone

Cutting meat out of your diet for one day a week can save more than 20,000 gallons of water and reduce your personal carbon contribution by more than 400 pounds per year.

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How to Stop Eating Sugar

David LeonhardtThe New York Times

If you’re like most Americans, you eat more sugar than is good for you. But it’s entirely possible to eat less sugar without sacrificing much — if any — of the pleasures of eating.

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How to Quit Caffeine without Becoming a Miserable Person

Sunny MontefioreBon Appétit

And why you may want to give it a shot.

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Is a ‘Money Diet’ As Terrible As It Sounds?

Charlotte CowlesThe Cut

Here’s how to cut back on spending without depriving yourself.

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Are You a Chronic Complainer? Here’s How a ‘Complaint Cleanse’ Can Help

Julie ComptonNBC News

Some griping is healthy, but too much can cause constant stress. It can also infect those around us with our negativity. Try this technique to shift your mindset.

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If You’re Trying to Take a Break From Drinking, Try These 6 Strategies

Allison AubreyAndee TagleNPR

If you’ve decided to take a break from drinking alcohol, you’re not alone. Breaking the booze habit, whether it’s for 30 days or longer, has its benefits. But for many people, the challenge is getting started. Here are six strategies and tips to get you on your way.

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Here's How to Stop Nail Biting Once and for All, According to Medical Experts

Zee KrsticGood Housekeeping

Special nail varnish and press-on nails may be your friends here.

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How To Quit Dating Apps And Meet People In The Real World

Olivia OvendenEsquire

It is possible.

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How to Quit Plastic

Perry SantanachoteConsumer Reports

Like going on a diet, the first step in reducing the amount of single-use plastic we discard is to understand how much we really consume.

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How to Stop Doomscrolling—With Psychology

Kenneth R. RosenWIRED

Awareness and a bit of habit hacking can keep you out of a technology tailspin.

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How to Actually Take a Social Media Break

Romano SantosVICE

Say goodbye to endless scrolling (for a bit).

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Giving Up Carbon for Lent

Eliza GriswoldThe New Yorker

Some Christians have made the commitment to limit their consumption in service of the Earth, rather than themselves.

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How to Use the Ritual of Lent to Reevaluate Your Life, Even if You’re a Non-Believer

Stephanie ThurrottNBC News

Even if you’re not Christian, you’ve probably at least heard of Lent — the 40 (really 46, since Sundays don’t count) days between Ash Wednesday and Easter. But what is Lent really about? It’s about introspection.

[mariekanker]

vaguely nefarious screencaps

[javisuzumiya02]

When Marianna hears that one of her half-brother's baby tooth is moving and that the tooth fairy is giving money for it, does she want to pull his tooth out so that she can get the money?

Stanley will be the one whose baby tooth move, while Jimmy tries to make Marianna understand that "Marianna, please! You can't tamper with Stanley's natural growth patterns.".

Similarly like the Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "Floss Your Ed".

I was inspired from Eddy to create Mariana actually xd

[pulaasul]

Forge Mine Own Path - ED 3 (Velvet Intervention)

Despite what they knew, Keiwa was there unconscious but alive and things are explained to them.

Shoutout to @rainixdra​ for helping me with the plot of this one lol.

FFN I Ao3

1 I 2 

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Suddenly, a blue light shone in the space between all of five people inside the building. They looked at it expectantly hoping for good news.

As soon as the blue light faded, it left a standing Tsumuri, an unconscious shirtless Keiwa on the floor, and four unfamiliar people all wearing blue.

Sara immediately rushed to her brother's side and began touching his wrist and neck before sighing in relief and crying her heart out in joy.

"Then…" Neon looked at the elder Sakurai expectantly.

Sara, the relief in her system prevented her from forming words but she did convey the news to everyone around her, with a strong nod.

"Thank goodness." Neon sighed. "Thank goodness." She repeated as tears formed in her eyes.

"But how?" Ace asked the question no one seemed to be asking. "I was under the impression that he was sacrificing himself for us."

"He was indeed hoping to take down the god of desires with him," the long-haired woman among the quartet of blue-wearing people spoke. "However, just as how the embodiment of human desire for death cannot be extinguished, the embodiment of human wishes can not be extinguished."

"The embodiment of human desire for death." Michinaga repeated one part of the sentence.

"Were Keiwa's efforts and sacrifices all for nothing?" Sara looked up at the people wearing blue.

"No, it wasn't all for nothing." The short-haired woman shook her head with a smile. "While they continue to grow and accumulate as people grow and desire, they can still be flopped? Dropped? Stopped?"

"As my sister was saying," The only man in the group interjected. "The embodiment of human wishes can not be extinguished but it can be halted and be scattered before it can take its form again."

"But, people desire for anything every time." Michinaga growled.

"And he too will reform," The youngest of the group responded. "But he is weakened and cannot do everything as he had been doing."

"Unlike the embodiment of desire for death, who constantly tries to end all sentient life, the embodiment of desire for wishes can bide its time and will reform well past all of your lifetimes." The long-haired woman finished.

"There is a form for the desire to die?" Michinaga couldn't help but fixate on that fact.

"Yes, just as there are embodiments of yearning for bonds, desire to be controlled, and many others, so too the desire for human death." The youngest of the group responded.

"Elizabeth, we weren't supposed to interfere." Margaret sighed.

"But dear sister, I did not," Elizabeth shook her head dramatically. "I simply erected a barrier between his attack and us, I certainly did not think that it would have protected him."

The youngest of the group shook her head.

"I'm sorry but we weren't supposed to interfere." The youngest of the group stated honestly. "I do not know what the consequences are for our interference…"

"Dear Lavenza, only Elizabeth has interfered in the course of events, as she has left the Velvet Room, it is my understanding that her interference is well within the scope of her journey." The only male in the group offered.

"Indeed," The long-haired woman chuckled. "And we were mere witnesses of her journey."

"I'm glad you see it my way, dear sister." The short-haired woman – Elizabeth – smiled warmly before turning towards the conscious people in the group. "Until our paths floss? Gross? Poss? Whatever."

As the quartet of blue-wearing people disappeared the way they arrived, by way of blue light shining on them and fading alongside the light, the short-haired woman seemed to have dropped two beads.

They rolled toward the unconscious members of the group.

Suddenly a single flower sprouted from each bead and two blue butterflies landed on them, one for each flower.

The butterflies and flowers faded from existence before a single petal fell on top of the unconscious Mitsumi and Keiwa.

After Keiwa and Mitsume glowed blue, the both of them started coughing, waking up from their slumber.

Tsumuri and Ace rushed to Mitsume's side.

Sara and Neon rushed to Keiwa's side.

"Wha-what happened?" Keiwa asked in a really hoarse voice.

Sara's response was to hug her brother as tight as she could.

"Nee-chan��� I'm sorry."

"No, you're here now," Sara responded as she hugged her brother. "That's all that matters now."

"The ambulances are arriving soon," Michinaga reported. "We need to figure out a way to explain Tycoon's and the goddess's appearance."

"Mitsume."

"Fine, Tycoon's and Mitsume's appearances."

Ace suddenly removed his expensive cardigan and stripped himself of his shirt and gave it to Sara.

"Are you sure, Ace-sama?"

"Just accept it." Ace insisted as he wore his cardigan again and donned the DGP's jacket, after a long time he hasn't worn them.

"Geats, you and Na-go need to scram."

"Wha- Oi, Buffa.

"Ace, no one knows that Mitsume-san is your mother, we can't be seen here, we're too public of figures to be involved here." Neon explained.

"Ace, I'm going to be fine." Mitsume assured her son.

"Fine, you better not harm my mother, Buffa."

---------

It took weeks for Keiwa to be released from the hospital. The doctors were quite worried that there were some bones that healed incorrectly and there were some infected wounds.

As for Mitsume, it took years for her to be finally out of the hospital. Spending centuries as a statue has atrophied her muscles and she needed to stay in the hospital to rehabilitate her motor skills.

It came as a surprise to both Keiwa and Sara when their parents, who were supposed to be dead, came and visited Keiwa one time.

It turns out, Tsumuri used the last of the powers Sueru had implanted in her to make one big wish.

A wish that would have been granted had Keiwa won at least one DGP game.

Tsumuri's act of using the last of Sueru's powers forced her body to drop unconscious, it was a sight to see Ace so frazzled from seeing his sister unconscious.

He does care about Tsumuri-san.

Michinaga on the other hand almost stormed into Keiwa's room after he saw his best friend greet him, like nothing happened, at work.

"A little warning, next time."

"There won't be a next time," Keiwa hoarsely explained. "Neither Tsumuri-san nor Mitsume-san has the power of Eros anymore."

"I see." Michinaga turned his back on the Sakurai.

"For what it's worth, Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Keiwa shook his head.

"and I'm sorry."

"I can't forgive the deaths, Michinaga." Keiwa closed his eyes. "Turning into bubbles was painful, if not for me awakening to that, I would have really died."

"So you didn't?"

"While I didn't, I was transferred to someplace else, where I did, multiple times."

"You mentioned that,"

"The paper attack I subjected you with was far tamer than the darkness version, it literally burns your skin."

"Why? You had all the reason…"

"I may find it hard to forgive, but I'm not vindictive." Keiwa shook his head. "In time, maybe I can forgive what you have done, but not now."

"I can understand that."

---------

Keiwa found himself in a place, not unlike where the goddess once stood.

In the center, was a man in a white suit with a blue butterfly mask on his face.

"Welcome to the Collective Unconscious." The man greeted. "We meet again, my friend."

[tvguidancecounselor]

TV Guidance Counselor Episode 689: Mangesh Hattikudur

May 9-16, 1992

This week Ken welcomes co-founder of Mental Floss, co-founder of Kaleidoscope and host of the Part-Time Genius and Skyline Drive podcasts, Mangesh Hattikudur.

Ken and Mangesh discuss downtown Brooklyn, going to college in North Carolina, spending your Summers in Idia, spending a year abroad in Atlanta, Brooklyn Manners, not being able to watch R rated movies, the book adaptation life hack, VHS terror, bootleg tapes, the hunt for nudity, The Carolinas, brown outs, shows the US exports, saying goodbye to Johnny Carson, Ken's day with John Cleese, Bob and Ray, the launch of Comedy Central as CTV/Comedy Channel/HA!, hunting down comedy lps, learning joke structure, Stephen Wright, Conan, talk shows, the death of John Candy, Jim Henson's death, Ed McMahon, what local news casters are paid, Vanna White's music career, the greatest picture of Richard Simmons ever, Jake Steinfeld, why Saturdays were tough, turning your house into a mini-golf course, the sries finale of Golden Girls, why Caddyshack II is better than Caddyshack, talk shows hosted by people playing a character, swear replacements, Parker Lewis Can't Lose, ripped from the headlines made for TV murder, how 70s vigilante revenge movies became 90s made for TV movies for women, Risky Business, the nostalgia lens, why you should always go back and revisit your childhood favorites, Police Academy, Revenge of the Nerds, movies that don't fly now, the evolution of R rated movie to children's cartoon, The Boston Celtics, Rescue 9-1-1, the theme song from Rescue 9-1-1, the 3.2.1 Contact Sex Special, Mental Floss, Davis Rules, the TV road not taken, network executives ruining shows, Night Court's final season before the reboot, when Harry Anderson would guest start on Cheers, how Park St Under was absolutely NOT ripped off to make Cheers, how one script became Beverly Hills Cop AND Cobra, Roald Dahl, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, loving Tom Arnold, 20/20, live exorcisms, and getting to the bottom of if the bush really burned. 

[lolpuns]

80+ Hilarious Fortnite Puns That Will Make Your Squad LOL | Battle Royale Humor

https://lolpuns.com/?p=1801 80+ Hilarious Fortnite Puns That Will Make Your Squad LOL | Battle Royale Humor Looking for some hilarious Fortnite puns to drop into your next gaming session? We’ve got you covered with the funniest wordplay that’ll have your squad laughing between battles. These puns are guaranteed to earn you more chuckles than a Boogie Bomb! Whether you’re a seasoned player who knows Tilted Towers like the back of your hand or someone who just enjoys the cultural phenomenon, these Fortnite-themed jokes will definitely add some fun to your Victory Royale celebrations. We’ve collected the best building puns, skin-related wordplay, and battle references that’ll make you the comedic champion of your Discord server. Table of Contents Toggle 15 Battle Royale Wordplays: The Ultimate Collection of Fortnite PunsBuilding Up the Laughs: Construction-Themed Fortnite Puns“I’m Having a Build Time”“That’s Just How I Roll… the Builds”Dropping into Humor: Location-Based Fortnite PunsTilted with LaughterPleasant PunchlinesWeapon of Mass Instruction: Gun and Combat Fortnite PunsShotgun Wedding… to the GameSniping Your Funny BoneShield Your Ears: Protection and Item Fortnite PunsSlurp Up These JokesChug Jug of LaughterVictory Royale Wordplay: Win-Related Fortnite PunsLast One Standing… OvationCrown-Worthy CommentsEmote-ional Responses: Dance and Emote Fortnite Puns“Floss Your Funny Muscle”“Take the L-aughs”Squad Goals: Team-Based Fortnite PunsDuo You Even Joke, Bro?Squad Up for These QuipsSeason’s Greetings: Chapter and Season Fortnite PunsChapter and Verse of ComedySeason-ed HumorLlama Drama: Character and Mascot Fortnite Puns“No Llama Drama Here”“Peely Good Jokes”Storm’s Brewing: Environmental Fortnite PunsEye of the Storm-y JokesCircle of LaughterBattle Pass the Jokes: Progression Fortnite PunsLeveling Up Your HumorLegendary Laughs: Rarity-Based Fortnite PunsCommon Knowledge, Uncommon HumorEpic and Legendary PunchlinesCollaboration Quips: Crossover Fortnite PunsMarvel at These JokesStar Wars of WordsGame-Winning Groaners: The Best Fortnite Puns to Share With FriendsFrequently Asked QuestionsWhat are Fortnite puns?Why would I use Fortnite puns while gaming?What are some examples of building-themed Fortnite puns?Are there puns specific to Fortnite locations?Do Fortnite puns cover weapons and combat?Are there Fortnite puns about emotes and dances?How can I use Fortnite puns when playing with my squad?Are there puns about Fortnite characters and mascots?Do Fortnite puns reference the game’s crossovers and collaborations?Can Fortnite puns help new players feel more included? 15 Battle Royale Wordplays: The Ultimate Collection of Fortnite Puns Why did the Fortnite player bring a pencil to battle? They wanted to draw their weapons faster! This classic pun plays on the dual meaning of “draw” and never fails to get a chuckle from fellow gamers. Fortnite builders are great relationship material because they know how to build a strong foundation. Players who excel at the building mechanics understand the importance of creating a solid base, just like in real-life relationships. What’s a Default skin’s favorite music? The Default Dance, of course! This pun references the iconic dance move that comes standard with every account, making it universally recognizable among players. I’d tell you a Slurp Juice joke, but it might not heal your funny bone. Slurp Juice serves as the game’s healing item, gradually restoring both health and shields for players. Building walls in Fortnite is like real estate – it’s all about location, location, location! Strategic placement can mean the difference between victory and defeat in intense battle situations. The storm in Fortnite isn’t just dangerous, it’s shocking! Players must constantly outrun the encroaching storm or face elimination, adding pressure to every match. My squad calls me the Boogie Bomb because I always make them dance. This pun references the in-game item that forces opponents to dance uncontrollably when hit. Tilted Towers? More like Tilted Players after they get eliminated early. This wordplay combines the famous drop location with the frustration players feel after an early game exit. Why don’t Fortnite players ever get hungry during matches? Because they’re always dropping at Greasy Grove! This location-based pun highlights one of the game’s popular landing spots. What do you call a Fortnite player who only uses shotguns? A one-pump chump! This references the powerful shotgun that can eliminate opponents with a single well-placed shot. Bush campers have a lot in common with vegetables – they both stay rooted in one spot. This pun pokes fun at the strategy of hiding in bushes to ambush unsuspecting players. My building skills are like my relationships – they both come crashing down under pressure. Many players can relate to panicking during combat and making building mistakes. What did the llama say after getting opened? “That was tear-iffic!” Fortnite’s supply llamas offer valuable resources when discovered and broken open by lucky players. I’m not trash at the game, I’m just environmentally friendly! This self-deprecating pun helps lighten the mood when gaming skills might not be at their peak. Why was the Battle Bus driver fired? He kept dropping people off! This clever wordplay on the game’s iconic transportation method that starts every match will surely get a laugh from your squad. Building Up the Laughs: Construction-Themed Fortnite Puns Fortnite’s building mechanics have inspired some of the most creative wordplay in gaming humor. These construction-themed puns cleverly combine the game’s signature building elements with everyday phrases for maximum laughs. “I’m Having a Build Time” Players often exclaim “I’m having a build time” when they’re enjoying crafting elaborate structures in Fortnite. This playful twist on “having a good time” perfectly captures the satisfaction of outbuilding opponents during intense matches. Creative builders use this phrase when they’re in the zone, stacking walls and ramps with lightning speed. Many players find that constructing impressive fortifications is just as rewarding as securing a Victory Royale, making this pun especially relatable. “That’s Just How I Roll… the Builds” “That’s just how I roll… the builds” has become a favorite expression among skilled Fortnite architects. This clever adaptation of the classic “that’s just how I roll” phrase showcases a player’s unique building style and techniques. Experienced players often use this line after executing complex building sequences that leave opponents confused. The pun highlights the strategic nature of construction in Fortnite, where rolling out builds quickly can mean the difference between elimination and triumph. Additional construction-themed gems include “Building stairways to heaven in Fortnite – one ramp at a time” and the thoughtful “Don’t build walls, build friendships.” Some players joke about “Building faster than my self-esteem” when referring to the impressive speed of competitive players. These construction puns connect deeply with the Fortnite community because they celebrate the unique building mechanic that sets the game apart from other battle royales. Dropping into Humor: Location-Based Fortnite Puns Fortnite’s iconic map locations provide perfect material for puns that blend battle royale terminology with everyday humor. These location-based jokes have become a staple in the gaming community, offering laughs while referencing familiar drop spots. Tilted with Laughter The infamous Tilted Towers serves as inspiration for some of the funniest location-based puns in the Fortnite universe. Players often joke about “Tilted Towers tilting the competition,” cleverly playing on both the structural instability of the buildings and the intense competitive nature of this popular landing spot. The Battle Bus, everyone’s favorite aerial transportation, isn’t safe from humor either, with players quipping about it being “caught in heavy traffic, what a commute!” Many gamers have replaced traditional farewells with “I don’t say good night, I say good Fortnite,” often adding location tags like “See you at Tilted!” These references create an instant connection between players who understand the chaotic nature of landing at this hotly contested zone. Pleasant Punchlines Pleasant Park and other notable locations inspire gameplay-driven humor that resonates with the Fortnite community. Adrenaline junkies relate to puns like “My heart drops faster than a Fortnite player from the Battle Bus,” highlighting the excitement of early-game drops. Health item jokes maintain popularity with phrases like “Keep calm and chug jug on,” referencing the highly coveted healing item that restores both health and shields. Stealth tactics get their own comedic treatment with lines such as “Bush camping, where nature meets strategy,” poking fun at players who hide in bushes to ambush unsuspecting opponents. These location-exact jokes celebrate the unique strategies and experiences that make each Fortnite landing spot memorable while creating shared moments of laughter among players who’ve all been there and done that. Weapon of Mass Instruction: Gun and Combat Fortnite Puns Looking to reload your humor arsenal? These weapon and combat-themed Fortnite puns will have your squad in stitches during your next Battle Royale. Shotgun Wedding… to the Game Commitment to Fortnite reaches new levels with this punny take on dedication. Players often joke about being “shotgun married” to the game when they can’t stop playing match after match. We’ve all known someone who’s canceled real-life plans just to squeeze in a few more rounds. Their relationship status might as well be “committed to getting that Victory Royale.” The pump shotgun isn’t just for eliminating opponents—it’s pumping up their obsession with the game too. Sniping Your Funny Bone Fortnite snipers don’t just take aim at enemies; they’re targeting laughs too. When you land that perfect long-range headshot, you can’t help but quip “I’ve got my sights set on victory.” We find that nothing breaks the tension of a high-stakes match like saying “This joke has incredible range” after eliminating someone from across the map. Precision humor works just like a sniper rifle—when it hits, it hits hard. Many players have developed their own sniper-themed catchphrases that they reserve for those satisfying elimination notifications. Shield Your Ears: Protection and Item Fortnite Puns Ready to fortify your humor with some shield-themed Fortnite jokes? These protection and item puns will have you building walls of laughter in no time. My heart drops faster than a Fortnite player from the Battle Bus when I hear these hilarious shield puns. Trying to play Fortnite might be challenging, but building up enthusiasm is even harder for some players. Storm’s coming? Many players build different strategies to survive the approaching danger. Fortnite gamers typically have great teeth because they love to floss at any given opportunity – a clever reference to both dental hygiene and the popular dance move. Slurp Up These Jokes Shrek apparently started playing Fortnite because he wanted to visit the Slurpy Swamp – a perfect habitat for our favorite ogre. Players often admit their builds need some work, but they recognize that progress is progress in the journey to becoming a Fortnite champion. Playing Fortnite brings joy to many, but playing with someone’s heart? That’s legendary-tier emotional gameplay. The difference between a dedicated Fortnite gamer and photosynthesis is quite simple – photosynthesis actually gets sunlight, while gamers are known for their extended indoor sessions. Chug Jug of Laughter People in Fortnite often say “Oh, snap!” after experiencing the frustrating rubber-banding lag that disrupts their gameplay. Thieves returning empty-handed from the alphabet factory were particularly annoyed because all they got was the L – a playful reference to the “take the L” emote in the game. Fortnite players typically use bandages to fix broken relationships because they’re always trying to heal, both in-game and in life. Players greet each other with “Nice to loot you!” instead of “Nice to meet you,” combining the game’s resource-gathering mechanic with everyday pleasantries. Victory Royale Wordplay: Win-Related Fortnite Puns Nothing feels better than securing that Victory Royale in Fortnite, and these win-related puns perfectly capture that triumphant feeling. We’ve gathered the most clever wordplay to celebrate your crowning achievements in the Battle Royale arena. Last One Standing… Ovation The ultimate goal in Fortnite is being the last player standing, which makes these victory puns especially satisfying. “Last One Standing… Ovation” cleverly combines the game’s primary objective with well-deserved applause for your win. Players often say they’re “Building Dreams, One Fort at a Time” when constructing their way to victory. Romantic gamers love using “My Love for You is Stronger than a Fortnite Sweats Building Skills” to compare relationship strength to impressive in-game construction abilities. Squad players frequently joke that “Playing Fortnite with My Squad is Like Herding Llamas—Chaotic but Fun,” acknowledging the beautiful mayhem that comes with team play. Crown-Worthy Comments Victory Royale winners deserve crown-worthy puns to match their royal status. “I’m Building Stairways to Heaven in Fortnite – One Ramp at a Time” brilliantly connects the game’s signature building mechanics with classic rock references. Dedicated players often use “No Need for Fortnite’s Reboot Van—I Keep Coming Back to You Anyway” as a playful way to express loyalty. Skilled builders confidently declare “Storm’s Coming? I Build Different” when showcasing their unique strategies against encroaching danger. Many gamers humorously admit “Trying to Build a Future, but I Only Know How to Build in Fortnite,” highlighting the gap between virtual skills and real-life applications. Emote-ional Responses: Dance and Emote Fortnite Puns Fortnite’s iconic emotes and dance moves have created the perfect playground for pun-loving players. These movement-based jokes combine in-game actions with clever wordplay that every fan will appreciate. “Floss Your Funny Muscle” The legendary Floss dance emote inspires some of the best Fortnite wordplay around. Players often joke that they’re “flossing their funny muscles” when showing off this iconic back-and-forth arm swing. Dental hygiene meets gaming humor in perfect harmony with this pun. Friends frequently tell each other to “floss away the competition” as a motivational battle cry before dropping from the Battle Bus. This famous dance move, popularized by the backpack kid and immortalized in Fortnite, continues to be a staple reference for players looking to clean up their joke arsenal. “Take the L-aughs” The “Take the L” emote transforms from a mocking in-game taunt to comedic gold with this clever pun. Players use this phrase when their jokes land perfectly, suggesting they’re handing out laughs instead of losses. The original emote’s L-shaped hand gesture takes on new meaning when paired with humor rather than defeat. Fortnite enthusiasts commonly drop this line after delivering a particularly witty joke during gameplay. The pun cleverly flips the emote’s typically antagonistic use into something that brings joy rather than salt to the party chat. Squad Goals: Team-Based Fortnite Puns Fortnite is always better with friends, so we’ve assembled the perfect collection of team-based puns to share while dropping into battle together. Duo You Even Joke, Bro? Duos provide the perfect opportunity to test both your combat skills and your comedy. Try asking your partner “Duo you even joke, bro?” when things get too serious in the heat of battle. Partners who build together stay together, creating memories “one brick at a time” as you construct your way to victory. When the pressure mounts, remind your duo partner that “Storm’s coming? We build different” to boost morale and confidence. Nothing strengthens a duo partnership like shared laughter, especially when you’re both scrambling to escape the approaching storm circle. Squad Up for These Quips Gather your team and prepare for laughs with these squad-focused puns that’ll have everyone chuckling through their headsets. Our favorite is “Llama Squad in the House—Chaotic but Fun!” which perfectly captures the beautiful mayhem of four-player coordination. Tell your teammates that “United We Stand, Until the Storm Hits” when rallying them for one last push toward the circle. “Squads Don’t Scramble; We Build to Survive” makes a perfect battle cry when your team needs motivation during intense firefights. Playing with your full squad truly is “like herding llamas—chaotic but fun,” creating those memorable gaming moments that keep everyone coming back for more matches. When whiny teammates start complaining, suggest dropping them at “Salty Towers” for a reality check that’ll lighten the mood instantly. Season’s Greetings: Chapter and Season Fortnite Puns Chapter and Verse of Comedy Fortnite’s evolving chapters provide perfect material for witty wordplay. Players often joke about “building friendships and walls” simultaneously, cleverly referencing both the social aspects and core construction mechanics of the game. The iconic Battle Bus inspires humor with lines like “My battle bus might need new tires with how I’ve been dropping lately,” connecting vehicle imagery with landing strategies. Storm mechanics generate quips such as “Storm’s coming? I build different,” highlighting the adaptive gameplay required when the safe zone shrinks. Even victory elements become joke fodder with “Battle Royale, where crowns are just headgear,” playfully downplaying the prestigious cosmetic rewards earned through wins. Season-ed Humor Each Fortnite season introduces fresh content that players quickly transform into puns. The obsessive nature of gameplay appears in wordplay like “Fortnite and day, I think about this game,” blending time references with gaming passion. Victory celebrations inspire seasonal jokes such as “Victory Royale achieved, now time for a royal nap,” connecting in-game achievements with real-industry consequences. Map changes fuel location-based humor with lines like “Tilted Towers tilting the competition,” playing on both the location name and competitive implications. Limited-time features create contextual puns such as “Fishing for trouble and catching loot instead,” referencing the fishing spots added across multiple seasons. Players regularly incorporate mechanics into their humor arsenal, with examples like “Running from the storm like it’s finals week” and “That loot drop really lifted my spirits” demonstrating how core gameplay elements translate into relatable comedy. Llama Drama: Character and Mascot Fortnite Puns Fortnite’s colorful cast of characters and mascots provides endless opportunities for pun-filled humor that resonates with players across the battle royale industry. “No Llama Drama Here” Fortnite’s iconic llama loot boxes have become the centerpiece of some truly hilarious wordplay. Players often joke about “packing some major llama drama” when they discover these valuable prizes during intense matches. The unpredictable nature of llama loot creates the perfect backdrop for puns that capture both the chaos and benefits these colorful creatures bring to gameplay. Llamas represent that perfect mixture of excitement and tension that defines many Fortnite encounters. Try dropping “Tried to name my pet Llama, but it just gave me a cold Mini-shield look” next time you’re waiting in the lobby with friends. Seasoned players understand the emotional rollercoaster of spotting a llama across the map, making these puns especially relatable during gameplay sessions. “Peely Good Jokes” The banana-themed Peely character has ripened into one of Fortnite’s most beloved mascots, inspiring a bunch of appealing puns. Fans can’t help but slip in jokes whenever this fruity fighter appears in their locker. Peely’s absurd appearance and widespread popularity make him the perfect subject for wordplay like “Peely-ting your opponents since 2017” that appeals to both casual and competitive players. The character’s distinctive yellow form stands out in any battle, making Peely-based humor instantly recognizable. Fortnite parties become significantly more entertaining when someone declares themselves the “Life of the Piñata” while dressed as this potassium-powered powerhouse. Players frequently use these banana-based jokes to lighten the mood after intense build battles or during downtime between matches, proving that Peely remains one of Fortnite’s most fruitful sources of humor. Storm’s Brewing: Environmental Fortnite Puns The environmental impact meets Fortnite humor in this collection of eco-conscious battle royale puns. We’ve harvested the perfect blend of sustainability jokes and gameplay references that will make both tree huggers and Victory Royale seekers smile. Eye of the Storm-y Jokes Looking for some environmentally friendly Fortnite humor? The storm isn’t just closing in on your game—it’s bringing some leafy laughs too! “The storm is brewing, so let’s leaf our carbon footprint behind” combines the urgency of escaping the storm with environmental awareness. Players often joke about “Storm-y Forests” when handling Fortnite’s lush landscapes while trying to outrun the encroaching danger. Fortnite’s forest environments need “trees to branch out and protect the environment,” creating a “Fortetrease” of natural resources within the game. Every time you harvest materials, remember that sustainable farming applies even in battle royale scenarios! Circle of Laughter The storm circle creates the perfect opportunity for environmental wordplay that’ll have your squad rolling. “The storm circle is like a deforestation zone; let’s plant more trees” highlights how players clear areas while battling to survive. Renewable resources become premium loot in these jokes, with players claiming “Harvesting renewable energy is the ultimate loot in Fortnite.” During your next match, remind teammates not to be “trashy in the battle bus, recycle like it’s your loot” for some “Recycle Royale” humor that’s both entertaining and environmentally conscious. These environmentally-themed puns transform ordinary Fortnite sessions into “Eco-War Zones” where saving the planet becomes as important as securing that Victory Royale. Battle Pass the Jokes: Progression Fortnite Puns Leveling Up Your Humor Want to tier up your Fortnite comedy skills? Progression-themed puns make perfect fodder for gaming sessions. Players often say “I don’t say good night, I say good Fortnite” when logging off after a long session. Anyone who drops regularly knows the excitement of asking “Where’s the next drop?” while anticipating the Battle Bus route. Dedicated fans can’t help but joke about their characters’ endless dancing with lines like “My Fortnite character won’t stop dancing—pure Battle Pass-ion!” These puns cleverly combine game mechanics with everyday phrases, creating instantly recognizable humor for fellow players. Legendary Laughs: Rarity-Based Fortnite Puns Common Knowledge, Uncommon Humor Fortnite players love incorporating loot rarity into their everyday humor. “Nice to loot you!” has become a popular greeting among players, cleverly referencing the game’s scavenging mechanics while breaking the ice. Many gamers blend intensity with emotion through lines like “Playing Fortnite is fun, but playing with your heart? Legendary,” creating an unexpected connection between gaming and relationships. Younger audiences particularly enjoy simpler wordplay such as “Rattle Royale,” a playful twist on “Battle Royale” that works perfectly for children or when referencing snake-themed skins. Epic and Legendary Punchlines The most sought-after puns often reference exact gameplay strategies. “I’m a bush camper… always leafing my enemies puzzled” delivers a perfect plant-based punchline that resonates with players familiar with this sneaky tactic. Dental humor finds its place in Fortnite with “Why do Fortnite players hate the dentist? They’re tired of getting flossed,” cleverly referencing the famous victory dance that’s become synonymous with the game. Construction-focused phrases like “Building dreams, one fort at a time” transform the game’s mechanics into motivational metaphors that work both in and outside the game. Players facing the approaching storm often quip “Storm’s coming? I build different,” highlighting their unique approach to pressure situations while showcasing their building prowess. Players frequently use mechanics as metaphors in their jokes, with lines about health and shields like “My aim is like a meteor—rarely on target, but impactful when it hits.” Battle Bus references create instant humor with “My battle bus might need new tires with how I’ve been dropping lately,” while elimination jokes such as “Get eliminated faster than I change my pickaxe” resonate with both casual and competitive players. These rarity-based puns add another dimension to Fortnite’s already rich social experience, creating common ground between veteran builders and first-time droppers. Collaboration Quips: Crossover Fortnite Puns Fortnite’s legendary crossovers have birthed some of the most creative puns in gaming culture. These collaboration-inspired jokes blend the worlds of popular franchises with Fortnite’s unique gameplay elements. Marvel at These Jokes Marvel’s integration with Fortnite has created a goldmine of punny opportunities for players. “Thanos Snap Decision” cleverly references the Infinity Gauntlet Limited Time Mode where players could transform into the Mad Titan and snap their way to victory. “Doom Bloom” plays on Doctor Doom’s takeover during Chapter 5, as his influence spread across the island like wildflowers. “Strange Portal Humor” captures the essence of Doctor Strange’s Endgame-style portal jokes that became fan favorites during the Chapter 3 storyline. We’ve also enjoyed “Meowtooth or Never,” a purr-fect pun referencing the feline-themed Fortnite/Marvel variant covers. “Slurp Juice Squad Goals” hilariously describes Peter Griffin’s muscle transformation after consuming expired Slurp Juice, turning him into a formidable squad menace. Star Wars of Words The Force is strong with these Fortnite Star Wars puns, even if they’re hypothetical collaborations. “Vader Payload” imagines a force-ful delivery system if lightsabers became standard weapons in the game. “Boba Fetch” would make a great pet-themed Star Wars collaboration, though we haven’t seen this in-game yet. “Blaster Master” combines the iconic Star Wars blaster rifles with mastery of Battle Royale techniques. “Stormtrooper Aim” serves as a self-deprecating joke about missing shots during intense firefights, something both Fortnite players and Imperial soldiers can relate to. These puns connect the galaxy far, far away with the Battle Royale island in entertaining ways. Incredible collaborations have also spawned puns like “Incredible Bulk,” comparing Mr. Incredible’s buffed Fortnite skin to his original Pixar design. “Zero Drama” plays on the multiverse chaos featured in the Zero War comic series. “Midas Touché” references golden weapon collaborations, particularly during events like the Marvel Rivals Chronoverses. These crossover puns demonstrate how Fortnite’s collaborative spirit extends beyond gameplay into a universe of humor that connects fandoms across different entertainment worlds. Game-Winning Groaners: The Best Fortnite Puns to Share With Friends We’ve dropped a Battle Bus full of Fortnite puns that’ll have you and your squad laughing all the way to Victory Royale. Whether you’re building your reputation as the squad comedian or just need something funny to break the tension during an intense match these puns are your secret weapon. From building jokes to character quips and location laughs we’ve covered every corner of the Fortnite map with humor. Don’t forget to share these with friends – they’re even better when deployed mid-game for maximum laughs. Now it’s your turn to take these puns and make them part of your gaming arsenal. The next time you’re dropping from the Battle Bus remember that a well-timed joke can be just as satisfying as a perfectly placed build. Happy gaming and even happier punning! Frequently Asked Questions What are Fortnite puns? Fortnite puns are wordplay jokes that incorporate elements from the popular video game Fortnite. They reference game mechanics like building, characters, locations, weapons, and iconic features such as the Battle Bus or Victory Royale. These clever jokes are designed to entertain players and create a sense of community among fans. Why would I use Fortnite puns while gaming? Using Fortnite puns during gameplay creates a fun atmosphere, reduces tension during competitive moments, and strengthens friendships with your squad. They’re perfect conversation starters, can lighten the mood after eliminations, and showcase your personality beyond your building skills. Plus, making teammates laugh might just be more memorable than securing a Victory Royale! What are some examples of building-themed Fortnite puns? Some building-themed puns include “I’m having a build time,” “That’s just how I roll… the builds,” and “Building stairways to heaven in Fortnite – one ramp at a time.” These jokes cleverly incorporate Fortnite’s unique building mechanics into everyday expressions, appealing to players who enjoy constructing elaborate structures during gameplay. Are there puns specific to Fortnite locations? Yes! Location-based puns include “Tilted Towers tilting the competition” and jokes about the Battle Bus’s “heavy traffic.” Players might say “I don’t say good night, I say good Fortnite” or use phrases like “My heart drops faster than a Fortnite player from the Battle Bus” to reference the game’s iconic landing spots. Do Fortnite puns cover weapons and combat? Absolutely! Combat-themed puns like “Shotgun Wedding… to the Game” highlight player dedication, while sniping humor includes phrases like “I’ve got my sights set on victory.” These jokes resonate with players’ experiences during intense battles and add humor to high-pressure gaming moments. Are there Fortnite puns about emotes and dances? Yes, emote-related puns include “Floss Your Funny Muscle” and “Take the L-aughs,” cleverly blending Fortnite’s iconic dance moves with wordplay. These jokes reference the popular emotes that players use to celebrate victories or taunt opponents, adding another dimension of humor to the gaming experience. How can I use Fortnite puns when playing with my squad? Team-based puns like “Duo You Even Joke, Bro?” and “Storm’s coming? We build different” are perfect for squad play. Use them to boost morale during intense moments, celebrate teamwork, or just create inside jokes with friends. Phrases like “Llama Squad in the House—Chaotic but Fun!” highlight the joy of playing together. Are there puns about Fortnite characters and mascots? Yes! Character-themed puns focus on iconic Fortnite figures like the llama loot boxes (“packing some major llama drama”) and the beloved banana character Peely (“Peely-ting your opponents since 2017”). These puns celebrate the game’s colorful cast and resonate with players who have favorite skins or characters. Do Fortnite puns reference the game’s crossovers and collaborations? Definitely! Collaboration-themed puns include Marvel-inspired jokes like “Thanos Snap Decision” and Star Wars puns such as “Vader Payload” and “Stormtrooper Aim.” These clever quips celebrate Fortnite’s many crossovers with popular franchises and connect different fandoms through humor. Can Fortnite puns help new players feel more included? Yes! Fortnite puns serve as an equalizer between experienced players and newcomers. Even if you’re still mastering building or combat, sharing a funny Fortnite joke can instantly connect you with the community. The humor transcends skill levels and helps create bonds among players of all experience levels. https://lolpuns.com/?p=1801 LOL Puns

[rebel-threads]

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[not-that-dillinger]

@foxedthecards asked: ⌨ - time-wasting habits ((for any of your muses))

...Does it count as time wasting if Ed still manages to get the task done with ample time to space despite the neck-breaking pace his boss sets deadlines at? Ed isn't really one for wasting time.

Tea breaks is probably a larger time sink for Ed than is reasonable for any other human, but considering how much stress he's under, can you blame him?

He also goes for long walks to take breaks from work, particularly in the evening before settling in for a long night of coding.

I like to also imagine him doing micro crochet with embroidery floss during his lunch break when he's alone in his office, but I doubt he'd risk being caught dead with a spool of thread and crochet hook at work. Maybe he draws crochet diagrams for blanket patterns.

---

I know the Game Boy came out the year Flynn went missing, but I think Flynn would have loved one of those. ...Although... the original Tron movie has touchscreen computers (see: Dillinger's desk) in 1983, so I don't think it's too big of a stretch for the Game Boy to have come out a few years earlier in the Tron universe, or for Encom or another company to have developed something similar around that time. Maybe Flynn pushed Encom to develop it after he took over the company. Anyway, he's definitely playing video games instead of doing Important CEO stuff in his office. It drives Alan up the walls when he does it.

[verycorrectslugterraquotes]

Oh, boy it pains me to see Junjie hurt like that.

Eli