#for legal reasons rhis is a joke

[punk-rawk-pkmn]

piers posting about people tagging spikemuth meanwhile me and my circle of concert goers whistle hiding the sharpie magnum chisel tip markers behind our backs because we have totally done no such thing ever in our lives. we havent. what are you on about.

[thesoundofmadness]

I'm going to throw myself off a fuckin bridge

[qualityrain]

im telling you if they remove my taixuan bridge you will see me at mhy hq

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Idk if you've done it before but got any serenedy hcs?👉👈

IM C E R T A I N IVE DONE THIS BEFORE BUT I LOVE ANSWERING THIS QUESTION TEHEEE GIGGLES AND KICKS MY FEET

Edit: this turned into a glorified fanfic but sssssssssshhuddup

. Luis is Like one of those dogs who are really massive but don’t realise they’re massive so they try to be lap dogs and all you can do is just sit there and accept it. You know the dogs right. Yeah that’s Luis to me; he’s tall and he’s lanky and he’s 95% limbs and he INSISTS on sitting on Leon’s lap or being the little spoon and Leon lets him every single time no matter how uncomfortable it is

. They’re both Transgender Capcom actually told me so but also I think it’d be hilarious if Leon was pre-top surgery when he went on that initial mission and first met Luis so when he tells him Luis is like “??????????????YOUVE BEEN RUNNING AROUND HIS ENTIRE TIME WITH A BINDER ON?????? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU??????????????”

. They take their t-shots together (Capcom told me so)

. Leon goes out of his way to find the specific and exact brand of cigarettes Luis likes even though they’re really expensive and hard to find (this isnt even a headcannon the brand of cigarettes he smokes in-game are E X P E N S I V E )

. Luis would ABSOLUTELY be disabled if he DID survive the knife to the back cuz speaking from a family members experience there is NO WAY he’d be walking again with a giant hole in his spine like that

. So when Luis first started using a wheelchair and moved in with Leon at first in the mornings when they’d both just get up and Leon would be getting ready for work, Luis would always ask Leon to crouch down so he could fix his suit collar, and for the first few times alone would wave him off (classic I-can-do-it-myself Leon) but after a couple times Luis explained that being able to help Leon even with something small like that gives him a sense of agency that he’s lost so Leon immediately apologised and now every morning it’s a habit for Leon to wake up, get his suit on, and crouch down in front of Luis to let him fix the collar up (and give him a kiss on the cheek)

. They both have really weird work scheduled so most of the time Luis will stay up in the labs until midnight meanwhile Leon has a super early start but their lunch breaks line up so that they get a few hours in the afternoon to spend together, and usually that just involves them sleeping away in their shared bed hdbehdbdhdnxhxn

. Leon is one to pick Luis up from the labs (because he’s the only one with a legal licence dhbshdbshdnd) and Luis usually finishes an hour or so earlier than him so he waits at the door for Leon like a little kid and he gets super excited every single time when he sees him in the doorway no matter how many times they’ve done this BDBSHDBDHD

. I’ve said rhis before and I’ll say it again. Luis sleeps starfish style. He has every limb thrown over Leon at all times and he always somehow ends up on the floor in the mornings

. Luis buys Leon new jackets all the time. Which like. Yknow. SOUNDS cute on paper. Except he’s using Leon’s credit card cuz he doesn’t have one HXNHWNWUSNSIZMS

. Leon keeps a photo of Luis in his pocket whenever he’s on missions. Yknow. For reasons.

. Leon brought Luis a brand new copy of Don Quixote when they first moved in and as a joke Luis asked Leon to read it to him but then it became a tradition every night except Leon is a REAAAAALLYYY slow reader and he has a BAAAAD reading voice like he struggles to get through a sentance out loud and Luis finds it SO so so endearing he encourages Leon to do it more often

. Luis is allergic to cats, and he’s also not much of a dog person (for obvious reasons) but he’d LOVE to have a pet of some kind someday

. Also I will keep spreading this propaganda but Luis IS A HORSE BOY LUIS IS A HORSE BOY AND HED LOVE TO TEACH LEON HOW TO RIDE

. Luis really likes feeding birds outside and it gives Leon an excuse to slow down and chill out so he does it with him whenever he can

. Also spreading my propaganda that Leon can’t cook. What did he eat before he met Luis? God knows. Chris found him raiding his fridge for pieces of cheese multiple times. Now Luis always makes sure to cook Leon a big nice breakfast and dinner no matter how much leon insists he doesn’t have to

. Also a self indulgent headcannon that Luis is a wee bit of an artist. He learnt how to do quick realistic sketches of anomalies during his time with Umbrella so every now and then when Leon’s off in his own world doing work at the table or just staring out the window Luis will do tiny lil sketches of him just to admire him. But he’d never admit that to leon he’s way too shy HCSHNESHSNHS

. Leon isn’t very good at audibly asking for attention or phsyical contact, so the two of them have come up with a system where Leon will wrap his arms around Luis’ waist or shoulders and Luis will immediately know that he wants a cuddle for whatever reason. He doesn’t pry, either; he knows that sometimes Leon just has Bad Days and needs some physical support and to feel wanted

. Leon pretends to not know how to smoke a joint just so Luis will teach him and baby him through it. He gets all clingy when he’s high ok

. I don’t think Luis would still be religious after a l l t h a t BDNEHENHEJS but I Imagine he still prays every now and then just for some comfort and he always asks Leon to sit with him while he does for some support

. Pulling this straight from my own fanfic but I think Luis would propose to Leon with one of his own rings BXNEHENEHENE and they would DEFINITELY get married with literally zero witnesses just for themselves too

. Luis forced Leon to get a car cuz he’s scared shitless of motorcycles

. Leon always helps massage Luis’ back whenever his pain is flaring up

. Leon is secretly a lot clingier than Luis and cries to himself whenever they have to be apart for whatever reason he is a big crybaby to M E

. Luis likes swimming cuz it helps his chronic pain and Leon sucks up his fear of big open waters for him HSHEHENEHDNDJ

. Luis is very very proud of his appearance and so him showing up all messy for Leon is a lil act of love <<33

. Also they accidentally steal each others clothes all the time and they look ridiculous

. Finally, this is FULLY self-Indulgent, but I do think Luis would wanna be a dad someday. Idk about Leon, but I think Luis still truly does look up to his Grandfather and wants to be the same kind of man he was and raise a kid of his own and see that kid grow and not have to abandon him the same way his Grandfather did (And I think Leon would share similar emotions too)

[sydmarch]

genuinely can't understand how people have a moral issue w pirating from huge companies that they don't want to give their money to. like if you're a fanboy I get it I mean that's stupid but I understand the reasoning. if you hate the company just stop being a pussy and pirate the damn media lmao

[ianv-s]

The joy of finishing a last minute 1'500 word comparative essay for a teacher with a system you haven't yet completely adjust to 🥺🥺🥺

Yes I will cry if she doesn't like it again

[pansrulethewrld]

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Not a single soul:

No one on this earth’s surface :

Achkenazi jews for some reason :

OY VEY oy oy oy vi oh vey mir trrra dos schmates oy viii oy oy OY VEY MIR pschhhh bagel oy vi oy vi latkes oy oy knedlar rhi rhi vodka oy vi SCHTETEL mommy goldenveinsttigenberg rabbi grefhonhdjdkstein my yiddish momme *play heart wrenching sad violon in the distance* baroi adonOi GEFILTE FISH hareng whisky

(I am an achkenazi jew and for legal purpose this is a joke)