#for once i'm actually quite jazzed about writing the next one

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Read Chapters One through Twelve here.

Our Story

December 2028

Claire was 36 when she saw New York City for the first time. A weekend trip—the city’s dreamers dumped into the dependable wombs of their parents’ basements; the Wall Street scions into the greens of gated Connecticut. Two days that are only distinguishable by the fact that her decisions—to walk in the rain without an umbrella, to buy a Chinatown souvenir—were not shadowed by Frank’s judgment.

For the first time since Frank’s death, Claire was on a trip, alone. She had one suitcase, and a hotel bed to herself. For the first time, she could adjust the thermostat without complaint—set herself to freezing or to boiling, and damn what anyone else had to say about it. She could use every closet hanger, order room service without Frank’s worried appraisal of the menu prices. The dissatisfied cluck over a third, offensive digit. 

“I’d like the fettuccine please. With a side of fries. Oh, and a bottle of Chianti. Yes. Yes, the whole bottle.”

It was a freedom that felt fresh when she took a shower (the complimentary shampoo and conditioner, all hers), and which rotted—just slightly—at the sight of the two unused towels. She unfolded them, set one under the faucet, swept a streak of foundation across the other. Better.

Her second and last night there, and it was dark. She drew the curtains, heard the chains clinking as the vertical blinds swayed to reveal the—

No. Not the city she was expecting, but a sudden fog. Thick and impenetrable, even the gleam of the Empire’s spire was hidden behind its cloud. Windows were blurred, merely shapes of half-hearted light inside an apocalyptic limbo. All this blank space where there’d once been buildings, standing cheek by jowl like J-train passengers.  

It was, in that moment, an unsettling sight. How could the world vanish without a trace, and she none the wiser? She’d been slurping a bowl of fettuccine just an hour before—when had New York left her behind? When had it disappeared?

Twenty-five years later—Jamie’s diagnosis no longer new, but still a sting—she thinks of this night: the missing city, taken by a thief under a cloak of darkness. It is how she pictures her husband’s brain, the only way she can understand its fickle progressions and regressions: The life erased by a fog she cannot see through, but which dissipates and then reconvenes without any discernible pattern.

And in this scenario, Claire is there, back in New York City—not noticing her diminishment within it (in the only mind that matters). 

She is too blind, too oblivious as the world fades, building by building. Too busy eating a bowl of fettuccine to realize everything she knows is going, going—gone.

They refer to the incident as “the big house fire.” It is an event chronicled between whispering neighbors, fellow parishioners, in the butcher shop on Healy Lane. The story has become a rusted scythe, worn down by every tongue that has remolded it—still slightly sharp, though, under the right circumstances. (Even an old saw will do its job if its victim is vulnerable enough.)

And while “the big house fire” does, in just four words, describe what happened—Claire and Jamie’s woodland castle reduced to rubble—it is not the most accurate version of the story.

If they were to tell it, in full and with absolute transparency, they would mention Claire’s flight home. How she’d been tucking into a packet of Oreos when the phone rang: There’s been an accident, and had run out of the hotel without her luggage and her shoes. (She will remember her scraped big toe, bleeding into the taxi carpet, until the day she dies.) 

The Frasers would also recall how she’d shut the plane’s window shade—how she’d refused to look at the school of shrinking cars. Their ongoing movement, she’d thought then, had suggested a galling lack of compassion.

They would also talk about Bree, just sitting down to a dinner with Roger. Scallops, bought fresh from the market, and Italian wine to celebrate the semester. Their plates, once piled high, had disappeared in their absence, Bree’s roommates picking at the food abandoned for a North Carolina hospital. There’s been an accident.

And if the Frasers were truly brave enough, they would mention the diagnosis: Jamie, aged 60 and patient #123. The candle, which he cannot remember lighting, and Adso, whom he often does not remember owning, knocking over Red Apple Wreath in the night. (A sheet of ice had slid off the roof, startling the dog. Funny, how such innocence can beget such tragedy.)

It was her friend, Denzell Hunter, who had been there first, tending to the burns that had branded Jamie’s back. And it was Denny who broke the news to Claire, the pair of them sipping spiked coffee in his office. The chair, with its one rickety leg, had barely held her when he’d said, We think this is a sign. (The heavy, leaden core of her had grown heavier still.)

“How long before it all goes?” she’d asked some time later, and even though Denny had made to answer, she’d gone on. As if, in the face of something so incomprehensible, clarification could stop the monster infecting Jamie’s brain. “How long before he won’t remember anything?”

“I don’t know, Claire,” Denny had said. A hand on her shoulder, on her knee. More weight to carry, dragging her to the floor. “It’s impossible to say. A couple years, maybe?”

The sound she’d made, then. If someone were to describe it, they might use such words as:

Devastated.

Destroyed.

Unhinged.

(It was all of these things, at once, and more.)

“Can I see him?”

Claire had paused before entering Jamie’s room, half-expecting the expression of confusion, Who are you?, she’d feared all afternoon. She watched him from the doorway, searching for the evidence she had not seen and which had become its own sort of beast in her mind: Guilt.

But what she saw, instead, was this: Jamie’s same eyes, Jamie’s same mouth. His same voice, saying her name. The same, the same, all still the same.

She whispered, face crumpling, “You’re here.”

And the image of them, then: her forehead pressed into his same chest; his same hand on her shaking shoulders as he says, in his same voice, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

If someone were to paint it, they would use the starkest, most sterile white. The brightest blue for Jamie’s eyes, somehow made brighter by his tears. A tiny spec of red—blood on Claire’s sleeve, from washing the cuts on her feet.

If someone were to name it, they would have difficulty calling it anything but what it clearly, inevitably, dishearteningly was:

Beginning of the End.

Jamie is sent home a week later. His thighs, patched like a quilt of skin—raw, untouched, raw, untouched—from the grafts taken for his back. All of him, raw as a newborn, and so at odds with the eroding mind inside his head.     

Claire’s eyes swim as they drive away from the hospital, and do not spill until she turns onto a certain gravel road. Pure instinct taking them through the trees, past the fallen oak where, on an autumn night, she had finally told him what she’d always meant to. (“I was born for you.”)

Realization dawns in a flood of ghostly sound: footsteps in the study, the languid pour of milk. Flesh slapping flesh, as Jamie takes her over the kitchen island. All of it, a story given to the past tense, now existing in the dust motes floating between the trees. (There was nothing waiting for them at the end of that gravel road. A breath of snow and ashes—only a piece of blue porcelain left unscathed.)

It is then that Claire begins to weep.

“Don’t you bloody do that to me ever again, do you hear me?” she hiccups, the car rolling to a stop. “Don’t scare me like that ever again.”

(He does not say he won’t.)

“I thought I’d lost you, Jamie,” she whispers quietly. “And if I’d lost you, I—”

“You didn’t,” he replies, looking at her. And when she shudders, he feels like saying it again. “You didn’t lose me, mo chridhe. Promise.”

Claire’s hand reaches for his, and so he brings it to his lips, kisses the knuckles, then the ring he’s wrapped there not once, but twice (a thousand times). I’m here. And Jamie does not wince as he leans over to kiss her tears, just as he had not said that she wouldn’t, eventually, lose him. That she couldn’t, eventually, live without him.

(She would. She could. Eventually.)

[leefics]

christmas dinner | oneshot

@jksfruit: hi I love all the stuff you’ve posted so far so much! would you be willing to write a christmas themed fic? whoever and whatever you want :) I’m just really in the christmas-y mood. thank you so much!

excerpt | you come to a company dinner expecting to leave with new friends—but you leave with a number instead?

pairing | bts members x actress!reader (platonic), seokjin x reader

genre | fluff

warning/s | none

lee’s notes | my second request! AAH thank you so much for requesting and i hope you enjoy it! happy holidays <3

word count | 3.99k words

go to | home / m. list / faq

SNOW BEGINS TO FALL ONTO YOURSELF AS YOU get out of your car. You close the door behind you and sigh once you feel the chilly air, quickly opening the trunk to get the bags of presents in the back.

"Aish—it's so damn cold." You mutter under your breath as you pick up the presents.

The company dinner had most likely started about an hour prior to your arrival, you realize. It was Bang PD's idea to hold the small gathering, knowing that some of his artists would not be able to come home and celebrate with their families. After settling the proper time and place, he decided to invite BTS and a select number of other artists from HYBE, including you.

You were the first actress signed by HYBE—the decision meant to be the stepping stone of the company into the acting industry. You were honestly quite excited when you first received the offer, realizing that you would soon be in the same entertainment as a number of big names known worldwide.

However, because of your busy schedule, you were never actually able to find the time to meet any of the other artists under your label. So, when Bang invited you to the dinner, you were both excited and nervous to finally be able to meet a few other artists.

Hopefully they can forgive me for being a bit late. You think to yourself as you walk away from your car with a sigh.

Once you walk into the lobby, you're instantly greeted with warmth from the heaters and the soft sounds of Christmas jazz music. You walk up to the concierge desk, letting out a silent chuckle as you see the dazed look on their faces.

"G-Good evening, ma'am. You're here for the Christmas eve dinner, right?" One of the staff members ask once you approach their desk.

"Yes, the one with Bang Si Hyuk?" You respond politely, the staff member nodding.

"Ah, please follow me." The staff member says, and you nod with a smile.

She slowly walks you towards a buffet restaurant and you quickly notice the low quantity of people in the area, making you sigh in relief. As she brings you to a further inside, you suddenly hear a gasp next to you.

"Eomma, is that (Y/N)?" Someone loudly whispers, making both you and the staff member look towards them.

You're quickly taken aback when you see a mother and her son, the mother looking quite shocked as she quickly turns towards her son.

"Jiwon-ah, your voice is too loud." The mom quietly scolds his son before turning towards you.

"I'm very sorry about him, he gets a bit too excited sometimes." The mom apologetically says, bowing towards you.

Your eyes quickly widen as you shake your head, giving her a small reassuring smile.

"It's okay, I understand." You say, politely bowing back before turning towards the child in front of you.

"Hi kiddo." You say playfully, the child shyly gazing at you.

"I saw you on TV." He responds softly, looking at you in awe.

You let out an amused chuckle and crouch down towards him, the bottom portion of your trench coat touching the ground. The child blinks at you for a few moments before he opens his mouth to speak again.

"You're my favorite." He mumbles, causing you and his mom to both let out a laugh.

"He watches you all the time when you're on TV." The mom explains as you look towards her.

You let out a shy smile and scratch the back of your head shyly, your heart melting at the remark.

"Aw, thank you so much." You reply, the tips of your ears turning pink in embarrassment.

The mom chuckles at your reaction, hesitantly sighing before giving you an apologetic smile.

"I'm really sorry to ask this—but would you mind if he took a quick photo with you? We're actually here to celebrate his kindergarten graduation and I'm sure it would make him so much happier if you did." The mom says, causing you to let out a gasp.

"Aigoo, you should've told me sooner that he graduated today! That's so amazing to hear! And of course, I'd love to take a photo with you guys." You respond, the mom letting out a sigh in relief.

You turn towards the staff member behind you, smiling at her sheepishly. She instantly nods, understanding the look on your face before giving you a reassuring smile.

"I can take the photo for you guys." She says, the mom thanking her before handing her the phone.

The three of you take a photo together, the little boy letting out a giggle when you give him a hug. After the photo was taken, the mother and son thank you before saying their goodbyes.

"I'll see you soon, okay? And congratulations on graduating!" You tell the little boy, waving to him as they walk away.

Once they're away, you let out a small sigh and chuckle in amusement at the interaction you just had.

"Ma'am, would you like me to lead you to your table?" The staff member asks, causing you to look towards her.

As you open your mouth to respond, you suddenly hear footsteps next to you. The staff member in front of you lets out a small gasp, causing you to turn towards your side to see who it was.

Your eyes slightly widen when you see Namjoon and Seokjin standing there, their expressions also reflecting surprise. After blinking for a few seconds, Namjoon quickly clears his throat before bowing towards you.

"Good evening, (Y/N)-ssi." He says, giving you a small smile.

Seokjin sees what Namjoon did and turns towards you, about to do the same thing. But before he could, you quickly shake your head and give them a small bow.

"Oh! It's alright, there's no need to be so formal." You say, Namjoon and Seokjin giving you a sheepish smile.

"Did you two just get here?" You quickly ask, trying to dissolve the awkward atmosphere in the air.

Namjoon shakes his head and lets out a chuckle.

"We got here about half an hour ago. Me and Jin-hyung just used the restroom." Namjoon explains, Seokjin nodding to affirm.

You let out small laugh and nod, slowly picking up the bags you carried with you from the car.

"Aw, for a moment I thought I wasn't the only late one." You joke, Namjoon and Seokjin letting out a laugh at your remark.

The older member looks down towards your hands, quickly stepping towards you.

"Oh, let us help you!" Seokjin exclaims, reaching for the bags you were holding.

Before you could decline, Namjoon and Seokjin both quickly grab each of the bags. You sigh and smile at them, putting both of your hands in the pockets of your coat.

"Thank you guys so much." You say, Namjoon and Seokjin both grinning at you.

The three of you begin to walk towards the company table, the staff member now long gone as she realized the members could lead you there themselves. Upon arriving, you immediately smile once you make eye contact with a familiar pair of eyes.

"Bang!" You exclaim, the mentioned man smiling and walking towards you.

"Ah, the star of the show is finally here!" Bang PD jokes, causing you to let out a laugh and shake your head.

"Stop—if you keep saying that, people might actually believe you." You reply in an embarrassed tone, giving Bang PD a hug.

Bang PD just chuckles in response, hugging you back for a moment before pulling away.

"It is true, though! Come on, a full sweep at Baeksang? Now that's not something you see every day." He says, making your cheeks turn pink as you smile sheepishly.

"He's not lying, you are very talented, (Y/N)-ssi." Namjoon says from behind you.

You laugh and look towards him, shaking your head at his remark.

"Right back at you, Namjoon-ssi." You tease, Namjoon and Seokjin both letting out a smile.

Bang PD quickly claps his hands, pointing towards an empty seat on one side of the table.

"Alright! (Y/N)-ah, you can go sit there. And to everyone else, please feel free to start roaming the buffet! I don't want to hear any crap about diets tonight!" Bang PD exclaims, everyone letting out cheers and laughs as they begin to disperse.

You smile at the sight, thanking Bang PD again before walking towards your seat. When you get there, you notice that Namjoon and Seokjin followed suit, putting down the bags near your chair.

"You guys are absolute saints. Thank you so much for your help." You say with a pout, the two men smiling at you.

"It was no problem, (Y/N)-ssi. We were glad to help." Seokjin says, making you sigh and smile at them.

"You know, I get that this is just our first time meeting but you guys can drop the formalities! (Y/N) is fine." You say with a chuckle, the two members nodding.

"Wait, you were born in '94 , right?" Namjoon asks, you quickly nodding in response.

"Oh! We're the same age, then! I'm a '94 liner too. Jin-hyung was born in '92." Namjoon explains, causing you to let out a soft oh.

"All the more reason to drop the formalities, then." You say with a chuckle, the two of them nodding with smiles.

Before you could say anything else, you suddenly feel a gentle tap on your shoulder. Looking behind you, you're instantly greeted with a sight of a shy Jungkook and an excited Taehyung.

"Noona! It's so good to see you!" Taehyung exclaims, quickly bringing you in for a hug.

You laugh and hug him back, ruffling his hair before letting him go. The two of you were well acquainted with one another, having been able to spend some time together when he guest-starred in one of your dramas.

"Tae, it's been so long! How have you been?" You ask with a smile, Taehyung shrugging towards you with a chuckle.

"Just the same old, I guess." Taehyung jokes, causing you to laugh and roll your eyes.

"Same old, my ass. I saw you on TV!" You exclaim, the other members laughing at your remark.

Taehyung shakes his head with a grin, patting the shoulders of the maknae who was shyly standing next to him.

"Noona, this is Jungkook. He's a big fan of all your works." Taehyung says, the maknae giving a small bow.

"I enjoyed your new movie a lot." Jungkook mumbles before letting out a shy smile.

You politely bow back, smiling towards Taehyung and Jungkook.

"It's nice to meet you! And thank you so much for your support. It means a lot to hear that from someone so talented." You respond, causing both Taehyung and Jungkook's smiles to widen.

You smile back at them before quickly realizing that there were barely any people left on the table—the remaining people being you and the 4 BTS members you've interacted with thus far.

"Oh, you guys should go and get your food! Don't let me stop you from enjoying dinner." You quickly say, Namjoon nodding before letting out a teasing chuckle.

"We can all go and get food together! I'm sure Jungkook would love to chat about some of your projects while we walk around. He talks about you all the time." Namjoon teases, whispering the last part to you.

Upon hearing this, you let out a laugh and glance towards Jungkook, smiling once you see the flushed expression on his face. You playfully pat his shoulder, gesturing for you guys to begin moving.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" You joke, Jungkook and the rest of the members chuckling before you all begin to walk away from your table.

...

"Stop, that's insane!" Jimin exclaims, shaking his head at your remark.

You laugh and take a sip of your tea, clearly amused at the man's reaction. You had just told him that a stunt double wasn't hired for the jumping scene in your latest movie and, needless to say, he was pretty taken aback.

"I'm serious! I mean, not even gonna lie, it was pretty terrifying. But would I do it again? Totally." You respond, Jimin and Yoongi laughing and shaking their heads.

"Well that's amazing." Seokjin remarks from beside you, making you give him a sheepish grin.

The four of you were currently engrossed in a conversation with one another, the members not being able to hold themselves from asking you about specific scenes in your latest movie.

By now, almost everyone was thoroughly done with dinner, now just chatting with one another to catch up or get more acquainted. Since you were sat right between the members, it was inevitable for you to to converse with at least one of them while you hung around the table.

As you now listened to Yoongi's story about his experience watching the movie, your eyes suddenly catch Hoseok reaching into his pocket—quickly noticing that he didn't have a bag. You perk up at this, instantly remembering that you had actually brought them gifts.

"Oh! Before I forget, I actually got you guys some presents!" You suddenly exclaim, reaching downwards to pick up the large paper bags you brought with you.

The members eyes quickly widen, clearly surprised that you thought to give them something despite this being your first time meeting.

"It's nothing special, I just thought it might come in handy since you guys seem to travel a lot." You explain sheepishly, standing up.

You grab the paper bags from the floor and place them on the chair, ready to start distributing the gifts to the members.

"Let's see..." You mumble, trying to find a specific member to give first.

As you dig through the bag, you suddenly notice another pair of hands holding it steady. You stand up and make eye contact with Seokjin, the man shyly smiling once your eyes meet.

"Thank you." You say gratefully, Seokjin shaking his head reassuringly in return.

Finally, you manage to pick out a wrapped box with a bow on top, the card having Hoseok's name written on it. You grin and fix up the bow before turning to your side to hand it to him.

"Here you go, Hoseok. Merry Christmas!" You exclaim, Hoseok's smile widening when he sees your gift.

"Wah! Thank you so much, (Y/N)." Hoseok says, giving you a hug from across the table as he accepts the gift.

You smile back at him, reaching back into the bag to grab another gift. Once you see the name, you turn to your side and laugh at the familiar bunny smile of the man in front of you.

"Oh! Noona, is this for me?" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to smile and nod.

While the maknae seemed to be quite shy at first, he quickly got over his shy composure once you interacted with him more. You were happy to notice that he seemed much more comfortable with you now.

"Thank you so much, noona!" Jungkook says, giving you a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Kook!" You greet with a smile, patting his back before pulling away.

With Seokjin's help, you continue to distribute the gifts to the rest of the members (and of course, Bang PD) before noticing that there was only 1 box left inside.

"Oh! This one's for you." You say to Seokjin, reaching inside the bag before handing the gift to him.

"Thank you so much, (Y/N)-ah." Seokjin responds with a chuckle, giving you a hug.

You smile and hug him back, not noticing the teasing smiles the other members had on their faces as they watched the two of you interact.

"You know, I might just open it right now! It's almost Christmas anyways." Yoongi teases as you pull away from Seokjin.

You let out a laugh and check your phone, noticing as well that there were only 15 minutes left until the clock would strike midnight.

"Go ahead! I hope you like it." You say nervously, Yoongi giving you an excited smile before beginning to open the wrapping.

Once he opens the wrapper, he sees a plain black box and carefully opens it to see what's inside. Once he does, he immediately gasps upon seeing its content.

"(Y/N)-ah, this is amazing!" Yoongi exclaims, the other members now curious to see what it was.

"Hold it up, hyung! I wanna see it too." Jimin says with a laugh, the other members nodding.

Yoongi slowly holds up a leather satchel, its center containing a subtly engraved MYG to indicate that Yoongi owned it. Upon seeing it, the other members let out excited gasps and smiles before beginning to opening theirs as well.

"Thank you so much, (Y/N)." Yoongi says, giving you another hug as he excitedly wears the bag.

You laugh and nod your head, relieved to see that they seemed to like the gift.

"I'm so happy you guys like it! I actually got them from this small shop in France. They were customizing all of these different pieces and I just saw the bags instantly thought of you guys." You explain, the members nodding.

"Well, don't be surprised if you see this online the next time we go to an airport because I'm definitely taking it with me." Namjoon jokes, making all of you let out a laugh.

Once you all settle down, you chat a bit more with each other before Bang PD realizes how late it already is. He decides to wrap up the dinner and pay the check, encouraging everyone to start going home.

"Thank you so much for inviting me, I had a lot of fun." You say with a smile, giving Bang PD another hug.

"No problem. It was nice to see you getting along with the others so well." Bang PD says, giving you a smile once you pull away.

You put on your trench coat and grab your purse, making sure not to leave anything behind. Once you were ready, you slowly walk out of the restaurant and smile when you see BTS standing in the lobby.

"Thank you guys so much for tonight. It was so nice to meet all of you." You say with a smile, the other members nodding and smiling back.

You give each one of them a hug, grinning when you see that Taehyung is the last member. You laugh before giving him a big hug, Taehyung laughing and hugging you back.

"Text me, okay? We need to hang out again soon!" You exclaim once you pull away, Taehyung nodding and winking at you.

"I'd clear my schedule for you any day, noona." Taehyung jokes, the two of you laughing.

After saying your goodbyes to all of the members, you smile and wave at them before walking towards the concierge desk. Upon getting there, you give them a polite smile and bring out your parking ticket.

"Hi, can I just get this validated?" You ask, the front desk lady nodding politely before getting the ticket.

As you wait for them to finish, you don't notice the BTS members still staring at you from afar, all seemingly poking one member in particular.

"Come on, hyung! Your opportunity is right there! Just go and ask for her number." Jimin says with a frown, Seokjin sighing and shaking his head.

"I just met her, Jimin. I can't just ask her out right away." Seokjin responds, the other members rolling their eyes.

"Please! You two got along so well tonight. It would be a shame to let that go to waste." Yoongi says, nudging Seokjin.

"Yeah, hyung. Trust me, you're totally noona's ideal type." Taehyung says, a small pout on his face as he tries convincing the eldest member.

"Besides, it's not like you guys will start dating right away. You can just ask for her number and see how it goes from there." Hoseok adds, Seokjin letting out a sigh.

"Fine, I'll go. Just—tell Sejin-hyung and I'll follow you guys in a bit." Seokjin says, the other members high-fiving each other in triumph.

"Go, hyung! I think she's almost done getting her ticket validated!" Jungkook says, harshly pushing Seokjin.

Seokjin glares at the maknae before hesitantly jogging towards you, both of his hands buried deep into his pockets. As he approaches you, he lets out a shaky sigh upon seeing you glance towards him.

"Oh! Hey oppa, did you need something?" You ask, tilting your head to the side.

Seokjin slightly flushes at the term you used to call him, momentarily recalling how teasing Namjoon was in telling you how to call the two eldest members.

"N-No, I don't need anything." Seokjin says, giving you a small smile.

"I was just wondering if you'd maybe want me to walk you to your car? It's pretty dark out and I thought you could use some help." Seokjin explains, your eyebrows slightly raising in surprise.

"Oh—sure! I'd appreciate the company." You reply, Seokjin letting out a quiet sigh in relief before smiling towards you.

The two of you walk towards the exit of the hotel, occasionally chatting about the weather and a select number of other random things. Once you come outside, Seokjin laughs at the expression on your face.

"You okay?" Seokjin asks, making you chuckle sheepishly and nod.

"Yeah, just not exactly the biggest fan of the cold." You respond, the two of you now walking into the parking lot.

"I can tell." Seokjin jokes with a laugh, causing you to let out a laugh as well.

Once the two of you arrive at your car, Seokjin helps you open the door which was, regretfully, covered in snow.

"Thank you so much, oppa." You say, Seokjin smiling at you and shaking his head.

"No problem, (Y/N)-ie." He responds, the nickname making your cheeks turn pink.

Seokjin chuckles at you and brings up his hand, gently placing it on the top of your head to help dust off the snow that was on your hair. As you felt his warmth, your cheeks slowly get increasingly warm and you have no choice but to pray he doesn't notice it.

"Sorry, you had some snow on your hair." Seokjin explains with a grin, and you bite your lip and smile at him thankfully.

"Thank you again for that. A-And it was nice meeting you tonight." You respond, Seokjin nodding.

"I had a fun time tonight as well. It was nice getting to know you." Seokjin responds with a smile, putting his hands in his pockets.

You grin at him one last time before getting into your car, glancing towards him.

"Oh, and uh—(Y/N)?" Seokjin suddenly asks, you humming in response as you look at him.

"Do you maybe want to exchange numbers? I'd love to have dinner with you again sometime." Seokjin says before his eyes widen. "That's if you want to as well, though." He quickly adds, making you laugh.

"Of course! Here, type your number on my phone so I can text you later." You respond, unlocking your phone and handing it to him.

Seokjin quickly types his phone number and hands it back to you, giving you a sheepish smile. You smile back and close your car door, starting up your car before rolling the windows down.

"I hope to see you again soon, oppa." You say, waving to Seokjin.

"Same here." Seokjin responds, waving back to you.

He watches as you drive away, a sigh of relief leaving his lips once you're a significant distance away from him. He puts his hands in his pockets, glancing to the ground as a shy smile slowly creeps onto his lips.

Best Christmas ever.

[selinakidreams]

here’s a lil something for baku (and you) to enjoy on his birthday <3 all apart of the bakugo birthday bash hosted by the lovely @jodrawssmut @phasmwrites @katsukikitten @bakugotrashpanda @lady-bakuhoe @ramen-rambles ! !! thank you guys so much for letting me be apart of this <3

pairing: (established relationship) QUIRKLESS AU kiribaku x fem! reader

word count: 3k+

warnings: alcohol consumption but sober sex, oral (f receiving), mentions of throat fucking, mentions of spit roasting, lots of mentions of spit <3 (and exactly one spit into a mouth), very light degradation, praise

a/n: this is my first time writing with three characters kdjdkdk it’s way out of my comfort zone and I only had 6 days to write it,, but I did it!! trust me I wanted to write more but I actually wanted to make it to baku’s birthday so !! don’t be mad at the endiiiiiiinnnngggg <3

The jazz wafted throughout the empty bar; your silk dress falling from the edge of your seat. It has been a slow night for the bar. You leaned your head into your hand, elbow keeping you sturdy as you swirled the drink around it’s glass cup. 

Your friend's party became a bit too feral for your taste, but you kept your word and stayed as long as you could for the sole purpose of seeing her smile, but then they showed up and you saw yourself out. 

The dim lighting made your eyes droopy with no action to keep your brain going, so you take another swig of your drink before swiveling in your chair to face the other side of the bar. 

Floor to ceiling windows greeted you, giving you the perfect overlook to the twinkling city lights below. It was incredible how your friend could afford a room in this hotel for her party. 

You noticed a movement in the corner of your eye; someone had entered the bar. 

You turn back to face all the expensive drinks displayed on the shelf, the perfect excuse to catch a quick glimpse at him. The contrast of his hair against everything else in the room almost made your eyes pop out of their sockets. 

Platinum blonde hair tufted out like an explosion, a satin red shirt that danced with the warm light of the room, black slacks and from what you could tell, some expensive ass shoes. Too dressy just to be here for some drinks.

Wanting to see more but not willing to fully stare at the man, you signed and waited until it seemed like he got settled on the bar stool before saying, “Is it your party that’s on this floor? It seems like quite the... experience.” 

Your voice came out smooth and velvety to bakugo’s ears, not that he would ever admit it. He scoffed before taking a second to look at the stranger who was daring to talk to him. His first thought settled in his mind and accepted it, almost prompting for silence- waiting to see if you would push to talk to him again.

From what you could tell, he was scanning you up and down. He opened his mouth to say something; his pink plush lips looking extremely inviting as they began to mouth something.

No sound came out for the next few seconds, showing he decided to keep his thoughts to himself. He closed his mouth and took out a phone from his pocket, the screen illuminated his face as he began typing something out. 

With this newfound light, his features became even more alluring- which couldn't be said for most people. Perfect porcelain skin, his profile pointed and devilishly handsome.

He’s well aware that he still held your attention, so when he slid his phone back in his pocket, he responded to your previous question, “yea, that’s the one. I’d rather stick it out instead of hearing them complain about me not going to my own party  for the rest of the week.”

By the end of his sentence, he had a glass of something amber in his hand that seemed to look a lot like whiskey. He didn’t spare you another glance but you could tell he expected to hear a response.

You hummed, slightly nodding your head, “The party I had to go to is upstairs and it’s… a lot. They're all just talking about expensive this and designer that and I couldn't listen to another word so I had to get out of there…” you trailed off at his silence. Noting that the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, you introduced yourself in hopes to continue interacting with him. You knew his type, and you knew in some way, he was going to surprise you. 

“Bakugo Katsuki.” He said in turn.

You slowly nodded before posing another question.

“So Bakugo, not really a party goer?” You attempt to ask, only to get a huff in return.

“not one for small talk either, i see?” You add at the end.

Another few quiet moments go by before he responds

“If I was a party goer, I’d be at my own party wouldn’t I?” He quipped back and your eyebrows shot up as you raised your hands in defense. 

“Well hey, I dunno ! For all I know you could have had a really rough night and this specific bar could be your saving grace. Could possibly use this night to drown your sorrows away behind a whole bottle of what… whiskey?” You say, ushering to his drink before turning to face your own, knowing he probably didn’t like being pegged as such.

“but you wouldn’t do that. You’re a strong man who knows what to do when things get bad, huh?” you continue, sprinkling praise to his dignity. He seemed like the type to prioritize that.

He didn’t do or say much in terms of a response but a small smile grew on your lips seeing how his body suddenly released a bit of the physical tension that was winding up.

You moved a few seats closer to him. If he didn’t like it, he hadn’t said anything. 

“So-'' Interrupted before you could continue the line of questions, Bakugo surprised you by asking, “you think you’re better than your friends? Leaving them and comin’ here to drink alone?” his voice coming out gruff and low.

“No, not one bit. I was the one who planned the whole thing for my friend, it’s just unfortunate that she had to invite all those people who aren’t all that nice to her. I can’t stand them. I’ve told them off more than I can count, but they just brush me off. A group of bullies is one thing, but a group of people who pretends to be friends with you then talks behind your back is another.`` 

Bakugo was quiet, not by astonishment or anger; he seemed to be expressionless as he piped up, “fake people are some of the uglies nobodies out there.”

You turn to look at him before sipping your drink and moving a seat closer. This time Bakugo glanced your way but continued to stay silent. 

“You ever beat someone up?” you ask, resting your chin on your palm, tilting your head towards him.

Your second surprise that night, he chuckled. It was soft, the complete opposite to the demeanor he'd been holding.

“Why? You want me to go in there and beat a few of those assholes up?” his eyes were relaxed by this point, no longer sharp and heavily guarded.

“Only because they don't believe I'm intimidating enough.”

“Maybe because you're not.”

You fake gasped, bringing your other hand up to your heart. “Excuse me sir but I'll have you know that I can be quite the fighter.”

“We’ll see about that.”

You hadn’t realized you got so close to Bakugo until you heard the footsteps nearing you both.  When a handsome voice called out bakugo’s name, you slightly jumped. Putting as much space between the two of you as possible, you looked to the source of the voice. 

Handsome would be an understatement. 

With red bangs that framed his sharp toothy smile perfectly and the rest of his hair tied back in a messy ponytail, this man looked a bit taller than Bakugo with a much warmer aura... but radiated the same type of... manliness. 

“Bakugo, I just got your text- Mina has been dragging me everywhere to make sure your party’s going well. Is this her?” the handsome man asked, a slight indistinguishable gleam flashes in his eye when he looks over to you.

“Yeah, ‘nd i wanna leave now.” he almost pouted before looking over to you. 

“You comin’?” 

Your gaze snapped between the two men, only slightly putting two and two together. 

Red hair spoke up, “He probably didn't explain it well but I'm his boyfriend, Kirishima Eijiro!” he held out his hand cheerfully, listening to your introduction. 

“Not to sound too forward or to make you uncomfortable... but do you wanna come home with us? He texted me earlier saying that there was this hottie in a silk dress and… well…” he trailed off licking his bottom lip as his wandering gaze slowly shifted hungrier, “he wasn't kidding.”

There was a lot happening at once but all that you were thinking was that these two hot men wanted you, and the happy buzz that was coursing through your system couldnt object the offer, so with a quick nod of your head, you were handed a water bottle, guided off of the stool, and into the back of the next taxi they could hail. 

The ride was filled with wandering hands and mischievous looks. Kirishima was whispering naughty promises in Bakugo’s ear that you couldn't quite hear, while your attention focused on the big palm that was making its way to the most heated part of your body. The quick inhales that the blonde took went straight to your core, making you incredibly excited for what the night had to offer. 

As soon as the door swung open, lips were on lips and clothes were coming off. The rush to get to the bedroom was heated and messy but once you all entered the room, there was an intense shift that even you couldn't predict. 

Kirishima spoke first, “So what does my birthday boy want? Does he want to fuck or be fucked?”

With a suck at his teeth, Bakugo knew if he didn’t give an answer soon he’d be met with-

“Better hurry up handsome, or I might just choose for you…” Kirishima hummed, bright crimson eyes hopping on over to meet your gaze, “better yet…”

He was by your side in mere seconds. His huge figure towering over yours, you almost flinched when his bulky fingers grazed up your arm. 

“What if you chose for him?” He purred in your ear loud enough so Bakugo’s ruby eyes found yours. Your name rolled off the red-haired man’s tongue like sweet honey, “go ahead, what do you think he would want more?”

Your gaze flickered between them, you couldn’t tell one or the other’s preferences but if they wanted to use you, they could. 

“How about… Eijiro… you could fuck my throat and Katsuki… could fuck whatever hole he wants?” You ask, the question raising an octave out of uncertainty. 

Kirishima raises an eyebrow towards the man of the hour, slightly amused and completely aroused. 

Bakugo is already smirking,“Atta girl, knows exactly what to say.” 

Kirishima starts to kiss your neck as Bakugo stands in front of you, occupying your lips for the first time that night. 

With one arm wrapped around your waist, he seemed to have rubbed on his boyfriend's bulge before reaching for the zipper of your dress. In turn, the feeling of the Eijiro’s bulge humped your back. 

Whether it was your dress hitting the floor or Katsuki’s tongue slipping in your mouth didn't matter, a sharp gasp escaped your lips, causing Kirishima to chuckle and whisper, “get on the bed, princess.” while Bakugo pulls away from you, a string of spit keeps you connected.

With your gaze lustly hazy, you dreamily make your way to the bed, but not without a little show. Before splaying yourself out on the mattress, you stretch out- almost in the child's pose of yoga except you add a deep arch in your back for the sole purpose of showing off your pretty seamless thong. 

As you reposition yourself, you glance over to the side to find that both men are now only in restricting briefs, eyes glued to your figure, both palming themselves over their boxers. 

Eyes half massed and back flat on the bed, you begin to pout, feeling almost bare without anyone’s hands on you. 

As if on cue, they began to make their way over to you, looking oh so hungry. 

You immediately sat up and swiped your tongue over your bottom lip, pulsating at the prospect of having two seemingly thick dicks at once… but they were still in their boxers. Why?

“Ya have to ask nicely in order to get a treat, you ungrateful slut.” Bakugo growled before taking your jaw in his hand, squishing your cheeks with his fingers. 

“Better yet, beg.” he said with a coldness that heated your core and had your eyes going wide.

Whimpering when he let go, you kept your innocent doe eyes as two sets of starved eyes stared down at you.

“W-wanna get fucked, please. Wanna feel both of you everywhere…” you say as you reach both hands out to palm the silhouette of their bulges. “Please…?” 

There was a “christ” that was muttered out before you were pushed back on the bed by Bakugo, then kirishima manhandled you so that your neck was supported by the edge of the bed, your head mostly hanging off.

Even in the midst of the binding tension, Kirishima didn't hesitate to instruct Bakugo to put a pillow under your hips, the blonde eagerly following through with the demand. 

“How’dyou want Katsuki to prep you, baby? He’s skillful in every sense but he really enjoys using his mouth.” 

The bed shifted and before you could string a thought together, you looked down and lost all ability to think. The sight in front of you was downright sinful. A smirk was pulling at the left corner of his lips as he sunk closer to your clothed pussy, his red gaze now a deep wicked crimson as he watched for your reaction.

You didn't have much time to analyze before a thick hand laced through your hair and ushered your view back to the red head’s now exposed cock. You gulped. 

Not incredibly long, a moderate size but with a juicy girth, Kirishima’s cock had a thick vein trailing up his underside. 

If you could make heart eyes, you're sure that you'd be doing them by now. 

Focused on paying attention to his pretty pink weeping tip, you felt your panties being pushed to the side. As tempting as it was to look down, you kept your sights set on the task at hand. Licking and kissing his cock, mixing your saliva with his precum, you earned a guttural groan from the big man above you, encouraging you to do more, please him more- until a warm muscle was met with your sopping core, causing a high gasp of a vibration to hit Kirishima’s head. 

Your mind stopped reeling for a second- it stopped doing anything to be frank. Your hips mindlessly thrust up in attempts to get more of Bakugo’s mouth. He chuckled against you in response.  

Moans bounced off the walls the deeper you guys got with each arousing movement; slurps coming from your’s and Bakugo’s mouth were the loudest noises in the room- that was until you moved down to pay the much needed attention to Kirishima’s balls. He couldn't seem to take it when you began sucking and fondling, moaning about how full he looked. He let out an obscene whine that you couldn’t believe came from him but when Bakugo pulled his lips from around your clit, you followed the noise with a similar one.

Unlike Kirishima who had stayed still, you tried to push Bakugo’s face back down out of lack of patience. Somewhere along the lines, the dominating rolls have switched, but you couldn't really find it in yourself to trace back to when that happened.

 “You really are a fighter, huh?” he chuckled out before adding, “quit whining shitty hair, you’ll get to fuck her throat once I’m done eating.” 

And with that, he dove right back in, causing you to clench around nothing yet and arch your back to get impossibly closer. In turn, your gaze caught the big desperate pleading eyes looking down at you, nearly begging you to do something... 

You were so dizzy with pleasure that you murmured  a mindless, “I didn't forget about you Eijiro.”,  before using your hands to guide his cockhead back into your mouth to coat it in your saliva then pulling off and spreading it down the rest of his length. He bit his lip and let out a cute “mmph!”, which went straight to your abused core. Wanting to hear more, you began to pump his shaft with your messy fist. 

With everything going on, you didn’t realize how built up you were. At an astounding rate, your climax crashed over you, making you shriek against Kirishima's dick as you attempted to cage Bakugo’s head in with your thighs. What pushed you even further was the death grip Katsuki had on your thighs and the sinful sounds he was making while lapping away at your juices. 

Your hands shot from Kirishima’s cock down to grip Bakugo’s hair, freeing your mouth to pant out breathy praises and a whiney “Katsuki!”.

“Fuck,” Bakugo groaned as he came up from your pelvis once you’ve relaxed, whipping your juices from off of his chin with the back of his hand. 

“Kiri, c’mere, you gotta try this,” he said before pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss over your slumped body. Watching their lips meet and seeing Kirishima’s tongue slip into his lover’s mouth sent a dull throb to your core, even moreso when Kirishima sighed into the kiss while his cock twitched upwards, close to your face. 

When they pulled away, Bakugo gave one more little peck to Kirishima before looking down at you with a mischievous grin. You mentally gather yourself and sit up, already ready to be told what to do next.

“Open up, sweet cheeks.”

You did as you were told with your tongue out on display, unintentionally closing your eyes as a sweet little “aaah” came out on instinct. 

The spit hit your tongue dead on and you had to refrain from automatically swallowing. 

A low whisper about how good you were to Katsuki pulled him out of his daze, his eyes darting away from the new wetness on your tongue. 

“Swallow, slut.” and so you did.

“You're right Kiri, she is such a good girl…  Are you ready to get fucked stupid as your prize?” was the last thing you remember before both of them did exactly that.

[shotosimp1]

naps

sugawara x GN!reader.

Authors note: helloooo this is my first ever fic so if I did something wrong or its low key cringe don't hate me lmaoo so this fic is basically that you're daichis sibling and you and sugawara are like close friends who love taking naps togather I don't want to spoil anything so I'm going to stop here. ⚠️Important note⚠️: when suga is talking the text colour is purple. And when you're talking its blue :D genre: fluff. warnings: nothing but if there is dont be afraid to tell me! Here is this playlist i made for this fic i hope you like it! :D

being daichi's sibling came with its pros and cons. I cant lie to you he is a good brother but that doesnt mean he isnt protective of you. And no, no boyfriends. But the best thing about being daichis sibling is that you would get to spend time with the one and only crush of yours sugawara koushi. Everything about him just made you happy. He is so caring and sweet you just couldn't halp yourself from falling for him. And because sugawara and daichi met in middle school they were very close. And with that he came over to hang out like at least once a week. You didn't mind as long as daichi let you be around for a bit you just wanted to be around cutie

And with that you and him would chat every now and then Just getting to know each other more. Both of you would talk about your hobbies and interests and life etc. You just found him so interesting you just kept wanting to be around him more and more. And daichi as the good brother he is will try to leave you two alone for a couple of minutes to have a good conversation together and would excuse himself with "oh im going to the bathroom" or " um im going to get a snack" and it works too!!

Finals were close and the boys, daichi suga and asahi came over to study it was their second year and you were a first year student. Suga would help you study and help you understand the things you couldn't and all that jazz. You felt kinda flustered whenever he says "good job!!" And gives that warm smile of his. It was around 1:12 pm and all of you were too focused on your work and didn't remember lunch....Yeah I know unbelievable. "Mmmm god I'm so hungry" "shoot we didn't eat lunch" daichi said looking at the clock "its 2 something pm there is still time for that just go order _______ or something" -"ahh your probably right" asahi said "okay okay should we all go get _______ i mean we should get our mussels movi-" "im not going anywhere im tired" "okay fine what about you asahi?" -daichi- "sure" "and what about you ____?" -asahi- "nahh I would rather stay sorry.." "eh its okay we'll get going yeah?" -daichi- " yeah let's go" -asahi- and boom you two are alone.

"You look kinda sleepy" he said as he chuckled for about. 10 minutes both of you were kinda silent he was laying on his tummy on the sofa while you sat on the floor near the desk you were studying on. "Kinda actually" "oh? Well mabye you should take a nap" "sure.. but uh you look sleepy too" "hm? Oh yeah i am " you both laughed a bit. "Wanna sleep in my room? It would be more comfortable there?" " well what about you?" "My bed is big i will be just finee" seconds after you said that he starts..to grin? "Ooou you wanna sleep with me that bad?" "You're honestly making me regret my choices." "Hey!" "You can sleep on the sofa bye bye!" You said as your going to your room and him of course following you.

"Cute room kinda messy tho" he laughed " can you leave me and my "messy" room alone" "fine fine" he said chuckling. Both of you layed on the bed and him falling asleep almost instantly from how tired he was. It was peaceful sleeping next to him. I mean yes you were blushing at the thought of him being so close to you but it still felt so peaceful and nice. You turned around to face him. It sounds like too much but he looked like an angle. You stared at his features for quit a while.. he's just so nice to look at. "Can't sleep?" "what the hell!? You scared the living shit out of me!" He laughed. He asked you again "can you not sleep?" " yeah actually" you said still mad at him for scaring you like that. He asked if he can come closer and you said yes. He but a hand on the back of your head and gently guiding it to his chest. And with that your head is on your crushes chest. You tried your best to not show how surprised and flustered you were. "Do you feel comfortable? Can i put my hand on your back? it would feel even better" "s-sure I don't mind" he started to rub soothing circles on your back. Seconds after that you fell asleep..in his mf arms ahh.

"Sorry we took so long the line there was kinda long" No response. Both asahi and daichi left the house for about an hour. They looked around the living room to see that no one was there. "Hm that's wierd" -asahi- daichi agreed as he went to check your room to see if your there. "Oh.my.god." asahi heard him and went to see what's up. "Wait aww that's kinda cute" "what! No its not!" Asahi laughed at how angry he was from just seeing his best friend cuddling his younger sibling. "Hey..hey! HEY!!" "Hmm what what do you want cant you see were sleeping here ugh" " yeah i CAN see and get your filthy-" " why are you so mad? Its not like I did something to them I was just helping them sleep" " I mean he has a point..plus I'm sure its just a nap" -asahi- "ugh fine...CAN YOU ATLEAST MOVE YOUR HAND OH MY GOD" "Why are you yelling...?" You said as you got woken up from your brothers yelling "its nothing..get up its time to eat" daichi said as he went downstairs to eat. Asahi mouthed a 'sorry' to both of you and went to fallow him. "Did you sleep well? I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable or anything.." "No no!! It.. it was nice thank you" "great!! Let's go downstairs now im starving..." you both laughed as you went downstairs to eat.

From that day whenever the both of you found the chance to nap together you would do it. Suga tired from practice? nap time! Stressed? Nap time! Sad? Nap time! It's like both of you were nap buddies and you loved it. Daichi couldn't really do anything at this point. Don't get me wrong he was SO happy when you actually found someone to hang out with and actually be comfortable around. But he just didn't like the fact that the both of you were so touchy its like you guys were dating. But you always denied him saying "no no he's just a close friend nothing else!!!!" Until...

It was a Saturday night you and suga were in your room watching a barbie film. It was a chill night both of you got snacks and watched the movie in peace. sugawara kept giving you these side eye glances every now and then you noticed them but didn't say anything. It was the last 20 minutes of the movie and he did it again but this time it was a side glance his eyes were fully on you. "What?" He giggled and said nothing. You were confused a bit so you paused the movie and looked at him. "Is there something on my face?" "No..you just look pretty" he smiled. Both of you were eye to eye and very close. His eyes would go from your eyes to your lips as he came even closer. He gently took your hand in his as he said "can i kiss you?" You were in shock your heart was beating as you nodded. It was gentle and sweet you swore you could right a whole essay about how that kiss was the best thing you have ever experienced. "AHM AHM!!!" Both of you pulled away almost instantly as you saw daichi standing in your bedrooms doorstep "listen- its not what it looks like okay??" "Uhuh..koushi have you been dating my sibling behind my back?" "WHAT? no!! I swear-" "come downstairs cuz we have some stuff to discuss here"

You sat there confused but genuinely so happy 'I kissed him..' 'holy shit i actually kissed him!!' your mind was running with thoughts 'wait what if we start dating?' 'Oh my god!!!!' 'Wait what did daichi mean when he said "discuss some things"??' "Hey im back..." he smiled nervously at you "oh hi!" He smiled as he sat down on the bad next to you "um suga" "yes?" "what did my brother 'discuss' with you downstairs?" "You know "don't hurt their feelings!!" And "don't even think about cheating on them!" And he may or may not threatened to kill me if I did" you giggled "all that because of a kiss? Its not like were dating" " ..Well what would you do if I asked you to be my partner right now hm?" "Uhhh!!??!!? I- I dont know mabye say yes or something" he laughed "well then do you want to be my lovey dovey partner?" You giggled a bit as you nodded "tsk, man i kinda wanted to hear you say "yes please please i do!!" Oh well.." "really suga.."

I hope you guys liked it ♡ again this is my first time ever writing fics so I hope its not that bad

[veralovemail]

Hi! I would love myself a matchup if it's ok 👉👈

I'm female and pan, I'd prefer one of the males tho, Survivors please!

So uhhhh I differ in my personality a lot depending on the situation! I'm more of a loner around strangers IRL— shy, quiet, I don't like interacting and prefer to stay by the sidelines since being in the middle makes me uncomfy.

I try to be as polite as I can, even keeping in my opinions and pain a lot as to not Hurt anyone. I also tend to blame myself a lot for bad situations I'm a part in unless I know I absolutely didn't do anything!

Also I'm quite hot headed and have a bad temper, though I'm working on it! I have quite the problem with guilt and it comes to me fairly quickly when I do something bad.

Ah yeah I'm really forgetful and also really impatient KNRKS

Now- online!!

I'm a lot more open and chaotic. I like to tease my friends and jokingly make fun of them, etc. I try and stop when they tell me to, but I might understand it as them just joking too if they write it that way in my eyes-

I try to look on the positive side for them and their situations and am always willing to make someone happy even without words since it makes me happy too. I'd say I'm caring to a fault- I don't let loose until they finally do something healthy that they've been avoiding and I do get rather angry if I'm not taken seriously with that, causing me to maybe lash out at someone unwillingly,,- and then guilt pops in like "hi there 😍" KDHDJDJ

Anyway,

I encourage anyone to vent, though I'm not the best at giving advice. I'm more of a person who likes to listen and give support if they need it. Oh yeah- my attention span is REALLY short (as short as me good ol' 5'1 me aNENSJJSJD) so I get distracted pretty easily and procrastinate then.

As for hobbies: I love to draw! (As you might know-)Music is my life (especially Jazz) and video games are, too. Though mostly singleplayer Games since I only really like multiplayer with friends-

What else can I write..

Maybe like- I'm an ISFP-T And I think it was 5w6 that I was given by another test

I also got Philophobia, the fear of falling in love because of bad experiences but I'm tryna work on it!!

I guess I can also write about my appearance? I've got short, curly but chaotic black hair that's p much swept to the side- I'm definitely not that skinny lmao- and as I've said before, I'm 5'1! I usually wear casual clothes (hoodies, e.g!! They're so comfy...) I also got brown eyes and glasses!

I think that should be it.. ah yeah! In your introduction, you should prolly add your ID for others to add you because name search doesn't work! :0

Ok that's really it now- take your time, don't rush yourself and stay safe and hydrated!! 💕💕 Hope your blog takes off!

Sorry for my English by the way- I'm German so I might've messed up on a few things!

OH MY LORD I DID NOT KNOW THAT I HAD TO PUT IN MY ID... oml... thank u for telling me that. and don't worry about it, i can see how it'd be difficult (i actually studied german for my gcses :], it was very fun) but anyways! tysm for sending in btw!! i loved writing this, i hope u enjoy - mod vera ♡

i match you with ... naib subedar!

he kinda takes on to your quiet personality, unlike some of the other people around the manor. it's relaxing to be around somebody who doesn't talk much.

you two most likely met when robbie came over to the survivors' side of the mansion, jokingly demanding sweets... but it most likely sounded authentic. and oh god, is that an axe-

you two accidentally locked eyes but you both had a " ah shit, here we go again " face. it just kinda went from there.

at first, he's a tough nut to crack, but if you try hard enough, within a month or so you gain his trust and he .. deems you a friend?

you both kinda start falling for eachother after a period of time, but naib is great at hiding it BUT SIKE, so are you! it's like a game of who can pine for the other in the most subtle way possible.

however, if you tell him about your own troubles with falling in love, he may just open up a little too about his own troubles.

it's takes a while for you two to build a relationship, but eventually (after a lot of rescues, late night hangouts and just being near eachother) you make it!

when he learns about your more chaotic side, naib tries to keep up with you as best he can, he may just need a little tug to do so.

he loves your smile, especially the one you have when you're talking about your passions.

he also tries to help with your temper, but he's just as bad as you are.

however, he's there whenever you have a bad day - he can almost instantly tell, even if you try keep it to yourself. it could be the way you look at him, try to smile or talk, he does notice the change in your aura.

since your shorter than him, he likes holding you. it makes him feel like he's just protecting you from anything and anything, especially on one of your bad days.

he likes your optimism, looking on the good side of every situation. he once saw you trying to comfort robbie when he started crying about not finding any sweets around and you told him "look on a brightside robbie! now we know for next time to stash some away for you before we eat it all!" AND OH GOD, IS THAT AN AXE?

naib gets frequent nightmares about his time being a hired merc, so sometimes you may get woken up at 3 am because he's a bit distressed and needs a bit of comfort.

other times, he just finds holding you while you're fast asleep enough to put him back in a coma for the next 2 hours.

naib also encourages you to talk to him about stuff. whether it be what made you mad, how much of a bitch vera can be, ect. he's there for you and that man is never gonna let you carry your burdens alone.

saying that, you also have to remind him that he can't carry his own burdens sometimes and when you encourage him to talk to you about what's upsetting him, he'll most likely tell, depending on how bad it is.

he also grounds you a lot!! if you tell him about your forgetfulness, he's most likely going to try and remind you.

" hey, [ name ], you did bring [ item ] into the match, right? "

" um... "

" goddamnit [ name ], i thought i reminded you "

naib takes it upon himself to rescue you, or keep you within his general vicinity if you're in a match with him. he does know you can kite very well though! he just wants you near him for a bit of reassurance.

he can be mean sometimes, but he means it in the most endearing way possible since most of it is sarcasm.

you two kinda have " stab as a warning " vibes so nobody really opposes the two of you. even norton. not even freddy dares to oppose you because the last time he did, aesop almost had to prepare his equipment to embalm the poor fella.

when you lash out at someone, naib is there almost immediately to take you away to calm down and comfort you when your guilt kicks the door down and goes " Hey girlie! Hold still 😎 "

sometimes you have to do the same for him because you both have a tendency to lash out.. but.. never at eachother? you two kinda agree on the same things, there isn't much to exactly disagree on.

please draw him!! watch him while he's training in the garden and draw him, or just a few silly doodles of him.

he likes looking at your drawings, it kinds boosts his ego knowing that he's worthy enough to be drawn.

if he finds out that you like music, he'll tell you about nepalese music, or at least what he knew of it - if you both get engrossed in it, he may try and get you some records to play.

teach him how to dance, if you can. it'd make listening to music together way more fun.

he's very content with you!! he likes kissing you out of nowhere, too. you could just be chilling and naib would come up to you, turn you around and give you a smooch outta nowhere. but only in private.

i feel like neither of you would be big on pda, you just stick to holding hands around the manor.

if this were in a modern setting, you two could probably play a game like phasmaphobia together just for funsies.

all in all, your relationship with naib is mutually beneficial and robbie has learned to never ask for sweets again.

i hope you enjoy this <3 it's my first time writing naib too so i apologise if it's not very good </3

[words-writ-in-starlight]

I'm a little late to the party but for the ask meme: Danny Phantom 5, 13, 14, 18, 20 + Trans!Danny headcanons. I know that wasn't on the list but I have a feeling you'll do it for me anyway ;)

MY NEWEST BOY.  For this ask meme!  Also thisgot long so I made a separate post about trans Danny because I care about it alot byeeeeee.

5)  Guilty pleasures

Barring times where he’s being, A, imprisoned, or, B, hunted forfun and profit, Danny actually—really likes the Ghost Zone.  It’s soothing in a way that he’s pretty sureis not quite right, in a way that Sam and Tucker and Jazz do not seem toagree with, but he likes it there.  Theslow, billowing curls of green drift through the air like nebulae, currents of energyrather than wind that he could drift on like thick water if he wanted, dottedwith doors and islands that orbit whatever passes for gravity wells in a skyscapeof ectoplasm.  Almost every touchstone inthe Ghost Zone moves, although most have a predictable pattern—about once everyten months, Danny tries not to use the Fenton portal if he can avoid it, onaccount of how it comes out practically on top of Walker’s prison—and learningthe rhythms of it is sort of like a hobby, at this point.  Danny doesn’t have a ton of time to kill, buthe’s figured out that, as long as he’s in ghost form, he can go for a longtime without feeling hungry or thirsty or tired, in the Ghost Zone, so onetime he told Jazz he was going to try his hand at cartography and spent theentirety of his parents’ five day out-of-state conference coasting on ectoplasmand trying to plot the place.  It cameout looking kind of like a star map, full of arrows trying to indicate movementdirection and a lot of scribbled notes like Pretty sure Clockwork moved thisand AVOID and Possibly Vlad’s portal, maybe close this.  

Danny doesn’t talk about it much, because the Ghost Zone makes hisfriends, his family, jittery.  He’s prettysure they’re worried he’ll decide not to come back some day.

13) What gets them flustered

One time a reporter manages to get a camera intoDanny’s face before he can book it after a fight, and she’s smart enough toalready be asking her first question before he realizes what was happening.

She’s also smart enough to start her first questionwith “Excuse me, Inviso-bill–”

“It’s Phantom,” he snaps,looking around in annoyance, and the reporter smothers a triumphant smirk.

“Yes, Phantom.  What made you become a hero,Phantom?”

Phantom just hangs there in the air for a moment, gapingat her, and then squeaks, “Excuse me?”

“You’re a ghost,” the reporter says, keeping aprofessionally straight face and a neutral, friendly tone.  “Whatmade you decide to be a hero?”

“I–didn’t?”  Phantom scratches a hand backthrough his hair, and the reporter silently thanks whatever quirk of ghostlyfunction is bringing a green glow like a blush to his cheeks and throat andears.  She’s going to lock down a raise with this interview, even if heflies off right this second–the first person to interview Amity Park’s ownsuperhero.  And he’s blushing.  “I’mjust keeping things under control, you know?”

The reporter grins.  “Well,” she says withfalse nonchalance, “would you mind answering a few questions?”

“Uh,” Phantom says.  “I have to–go.”

He turns invisible and makes a break for it,and the reporter’s fifty-second clip of a conversation runs on the local newsfive times in the next seven hours.  She gets a reputation for being ableto snag the neighborhood super for a few seconds, sometimes even multipleminutes.  She discovers real quick thathe’ll blush pretty reliably the second she drops the H word.

14) Ingrained habits/forces of habit

Danny works hard to seem helpless at school.  It kind of makes him crawl the walls, but he workshard, okay?  He lets himself getpushed around, he occasionally gets punched in the face, he does his best toconceal it when a year or two of ghost hunting as a full time job starts toshow in his human form, he spends a lot of time and energy projecting a façade oflocal hopeless wallflower.  He can’thelp seeming like a delinquent, given that he’s been living the C-average lifestyleby the skin of his teeth and misses about three class periods on a good week,but at least he can seem like a delinquent who would never, ever be a candidatefor competence.  He’s protecting a secretidentity out here.  Official Team PhantomPolicy, much as everyone might hate it, is that no one intervenes with Danny’scharade.  It gives Tucker hives and Samhas a hit list of bullies, but Danny’s always quick to smile off their concernand get on with his life.  He has ahealing factor and it’s been years since Dash was actually concerning tohim except as a potential stalker, Danny can stand to bite his tongue and take it.

Aaaaaaand then when he’s sixteen, Dash punchesTucker, instead.  Over some pettynothing, something that Tucker doesn’t even remember afterward—refusing to makea fake ID for him?  Laughing at Dash forfumbling a catch at the game on Saturday? Joking about how Dash’s grades were even worse than Danny’s?  It could’ve been anything.  It didn’t really even register with Tucker assomething worth getting punched over, whatever it was, but he guesses thatbullies can have bad days too.

So Tucker says whatever he says, and Dash whipsaround and sucker punches him, a swift hidden jab that only someone alreadywatching would see.  And then–

And then Danny dislocates Dash’s shoulder.  It’s not on purpose and it’s not subtle.  Tucker doesn’t really remember what happened—hewas a little busy gasping for air. Mostly he just remembers the crash of someone being slammed into a locker,and Danny’s voice, deep and un-Danny-like, snarling You don’t touch them,and a shout, a howl of pain and shock. By the time Tucker can stand upright, wheezing and clinging to Sam,every kid in the silent hallway is staring wide-eyed at Danny, skinny weakDanny Fenton who isn’t really so skinny and weak anymore.  Danny’s stepping back from Dash, who’sclutching at a shoulder that looks wrong under his letterman jacket, andDanny looks mildly horrified with himself, but he’s still standing betweenTucker and Dash.  

When the teachers show up, Danny goes quietly to theprincipal’s office, and gives a plain-spoken explanation of what happened—Dash punchedhis best friend, Danny slammed him into the wall, and somewhere in there hepopped Dash’s shoulder out of place.  He getssuspended for two weeks and detention for the next month, which he cooperateswith, and non-negotiable anger management counselling, which he mostly just…doesn’tattend.  Danny has decided that he doesn’tdo school counselling anymore, thanks.

After he comes back, Danny slips back into therhythm of things without any change in his behavior, but—it’s hard for everyoneto forget that they watched Dash’s favorite punching bag nearly put the king ofthe school through a wall.

Sam and Tucker enjoy a very peaceful remainder oftheir high school career.

18) Things they’ll never admit

Danny has not and will not talk to anyone about the accident withthe portal.  The actual events, yeah.  But he’s thought about it, and—they just don’tneed to know.  Sam already frettedherself blue over the Lichtenberg figure lacing up Phantom’s left arm to hisheart.  They don’t need to know how clearhis memory of being electrocuted is.

(Jazz watches Danny skirt around the Specter Deflector with abouta five foot radius of nervous respect, and she makes some educated guessesabout why, exactly, her brother doesn’t like being shocked.  But if he doesn’t want to talk about it, for once,she’s not going to wring it out of him.)

20) What Ifs/Alternate Timelines

I’m sure everyone and their cousin has done this but…I love Jazz and Danny’s relationship.  

So.

Jazz has been keeping an eye on herbrother for…ever.  This is partly becauseshe’s a worrier by nature and partly because their parents are both brilliantand affectionate and completely hopelessly scatterbrained.  Jack and Maddie are fine and all, but alsoJazz is frequently awestruck that she and Danny lived long enough to be able totake care of themselves.  Holy shitis she ever going to write a memoir.  TheChristmas I Re-killed the Turkey or something.  So when their parents are out for the day andshe wanders through the living room into the kitchen to see if the Nilla Wafershave been contaminated yet, and she realizes that she hasn’t seen Danny in fourhours, she starts looking around.  

Sam and Tucker’s bags are in hisbedroom, and all three of them have left their jackets by the door.  It’s a cool autumn, and Tucker complainsconstantly that he’s not built for the cold, he’s built for indoor rooms fullof computers, so they wouldn’t have gone out. The TV is off.  Danny’s room isempty.  It’s not dark enough yet forDanny to have dragged them up to the roof for stargazing.  

It’s about this point where Jazzstarts to feel like something is about to go horribly wrong.

She passes the door to the lab andhears Sam’s voice echo up the stairs, and then—

“Fine, fine,” Danny says from thebasement.  “It doesn’t even work.”

Jazz opens the door, already composinga lecture about not poking around in the lab (for Danny) and a lecture aboutremembering to lock the lab when they’re going to be out all day (for herparents), and starts down the stairs.

The crack-boom of the portalkicking on hits like a thunderclap, and then there’s a scream, someonewailing like they’re being killed.

Jazz never does remember how she gotdown the rest of the stairs, but she makes it just in time to see her brotherstumble out of the glowing green portal and fall straight through Sam’s armsand collapse into a pile of black-clad limbs and shocking white hair.

[yayninjabob]

Author Commentary

Ramblings from Yay Ninja Bob about her monstrous creation~

Besides working on my fic, I personally try to journal every day, and I realized that a lot of my journaling has become me pretty much rambling about the process of writing this damn fic lol.  So I thought I'd share some of that for those who may want to know more behind my chapters from my author's perspective. 

It's certainly not everything I can say, but it is a lot haha..

Chapter 1 - Thirteen

Behind the title:

    Well, when I first began writing VillainR, I hadn't planned on having chapter titles at all.  Mainly because coming up with chapter titles (or titles for stories in general) has always been something I struggle with personally.  Anywho after I decided I wanted to challenge myself with chapter titles, I went back and named chapter 1 "Thirteen."  Why?  Well, it is the PpG's thirteenth birthday, of course there is that.  VillainR as a whole is many things, but one major thing is it is a coming of age story for Buttercup/Joey/Jojo, as well as a story of self-discovery.   There's a few important ages I wanted to cover and 13 is around the age where many kids start to "develop" and being a super-powered kid,  Buttercup finally begins to develop her own "special power" at this age.  I wanted this "growing pain" to be the catalyst for the events of Part One.  So, I gave the chapter the title of "Thirteen" to try to highlight the significance of that age for Buttercup. The self-discovery made at this age is that special power (although they are unaware of it at this point).  It's considered an unlucky number, and as it turns out, it is an unlucky year for our main character.

During the writing process:

     First draft was written on Halloween night 2019 and pretty much all of it was completely scrapped haha. 

     I started writing it in first person, like the original Villain, in Buttercup's POV.   I kept the events but approached it again in third person and liked it so much better that way.  One major thing I wanted to improve on with the rewrite was character development which is pretty hard to achieve when writing in a limited POV of a character who eventually loses sight of much around them.  I debated briefly on maybe doing alternating POVs between Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup, but then I felt like it would still exclude a lot for other major characters like Mojo and Princess.  I could add them too but I thought alternating too many POVs would be overwhelmingly difficult (for me as the author for sure but I imagine for the reader too)  Third person seemed to be the best way to handle everything and really my only challenge with that was tweaking the whole "unreliable narrator" trope which I will be honest is my favorite trope ever. It is a challenge to try to recreate the same effect in third person, but I decided that a close third person was the best way to 1) tell a broader story and 2) still set limits on the reader's perspective, and control when and how I drop information and attempt to recreate a similar experience in an entirely new way I've never tried before heh.  (I guess I will spend more time on this on my notes for Chapter 6)

     Second draft I scribbled out in another few days with this new approach.  It began at the start of the carnival and ended where it ends.   Simultaneously I was reworking my overall outline for the fic and began to narrow down all the characters I wanted to be my key players for this epic.  Once my outline was expanded to include everyone, I added the scene with Mojo and Him.  For me, that's when I was like "Ayyy it's all coming together 👍👍" haha.

     Another thing I wanted to improve on was setting and world-building.  So final draft I decided to include some "history" behind Townsville and that's when I worked out the final draft.

    This chapter definitely had the most trial and error during the writing process than any other chapter other than 5 so far.

Inspirations:

     Townsville world-building/history - much of it is inspired by the city I grew up in (for the most part) which is Los Angeles. I mean it has all the sort of settings we've seen in the show which are all pretty diverse right?  Townville had to have a diverse cityscape ranging from a busy downtown setting to quite suburbs to upperclass mansions, beaches, an island, forests, etc.  Well I knew LA had all that and so I tried to re-imagine Townsville as basically an alternate universe LA lol. Monster Isle, I based on research I did on Catalina Island.  I imagined the Utonium household was in a middle class neighborhood like Pasadena- close to the heart of LA but still a relatively "calmer" part of the city.  Morbucks Manor would be in the Hills like Beverly Hills.  Downtown was the heart of the city like Downtown LA.  I debated briefly whether or not to have the Gangreen Gang be from an area modeled after South Central or East LA, but eventually I went with East LA because TBH I am just more familiar with it since that's where my mom's side is from and where I grew up early on in life.  PLUS East LA actually has a pretty big punk scene so that fit the story too with Ace being in a punk band and all that. 

1998 PpG Show References:

     "Oh my gosh they have giant Bunny-Bunny's at the prize tent!"

    (Super Zeroes)

Pop Culture References:

   (OK most of my pop culture refs are just punk references lets be honest lol.  Why Punk?? - because it is rebellion and rebellion is the heart of this fic)

     The Clash - OK in original Villain I established that this was Buttercup's favorite band so I HAD to have that back for the redux. Here's all the refs I crammed into chapter 1 lol:

   "Oh, Man! It's so hard to choose, like, I love literally everything by them. But I gotta say it's a tie probably between their first album and London Calling."

"Hell yeah. Jimmy Jazz is my jam."

"You know, my band does a cover of White Riot," Ace continued to talk music with the teenager as he lit his cigarette and took a deep drag. He held the smoke in his lungs as he continued, "Only we call our version Green Riot."

Blondie:

     The one artist Buttercup had introduced Robin to that she instantly obsessed over was Blondie.

(Some) Symbolism:

     - Blossom is 5'9" and Buttercup is 5'8" - Buttercup is always falling one step behind Blossom.

     - Bumper Car scene - has some foreshadowing and well...

Blossom sat behind the wheel of a red bumper car at the opposite end of the metal floored rink. Buttercup crossed her arms in protest, "No way. I'm driving." she demanded.

Blossom also crossed her arms from where she sat behind the metal wheel. "So you can just rampage and crash into everybody here? No way." She fastened her seat belt with a quick snap and placed her hands firmly on the steering wheel again.

"Ugh. That's the whole point of bumper cars! It's to bump the other cars! You're supposed to try and bump everyone before the times up!"

"You always take it too far, Buttercup. I'm driving, so get in." The redhead grasped the steering wheel in her hands firmly, and refused to move.

And...

"You drive like an old lady," Buttercup shook her head in disbelief as her sister managed to avoid yet another collision.

"Well, that's your opinion," she shrugged off the insult, "Personally, I think it takes just as much skill to avoid every single car in here, as it does to hit every single car," she smiled at her sister.

And finally a brief allusion to the OG Villain lol...

"Blossom!" Buttercup shouted louder so she could get her sister's attention. She pointed at the fast approaching purple car that zoomed towards them from their right side. Behind the wheel of that car was Bubbles who wore a rather determined look on her face as Robin cheered for her.

Blossom saw, but by then it was too late. Bubbles and Robin's car slammed into Buttercup and Blossom's car at full force, spinning Buttercup and Blossom's car into the wall of the arena. The loud buzz which signified the end of the ride then sounded.

    - the roller coaster is Buttercup's ideal carnival attraction; it's got the thrills, twists, turns, ups and downs.  And makes Bubbles sick.

     - the Ferris Wheel is Blossom's ideal carnival attraction; it's a staple of any fair, grand and big, overlooks everything, and traditionally romantic

YNB's favorite scene:

     Personally, I loved writing the whole exchange between Buttercup and Blossom in the car.  Establishing their rivalry, Buttercup's jealousy over Blossom's special power and heroism, Blossom's projection of her own insecurities, their differences, and their commonality. 

Final thoughts on the chapter:

     I was pretty satisfied with how it turned out but I did wait to post it until I had a decent headstart on chapter 2.  I was pretty nervous about whether or not I could stay personally committed to writing this fic so I just wanted to make sure I was really feeling it first, lol.  It had been so long since I'd written fanfic so I just needed to be sure.

     When I outlined everything I estimated the chapter length to be around 6-7k words... And I was surprised that it was double that at about 12k.  Which was wild because on my outline each opening chapter for Part 1, 2 and 3 were supposed to be shorter and more like preludes to everything else.  Well, I guess they ARE shorter chapters but STILL definitely longer than any chapter I used to write for my multichaptered stories.   At the time I thought "Ok obviously my writing has changed but surely I wont go much longer than 12k for future chapters...."  Hurr hurr.

     Personally, I was pretty proud of myself for spending so much time on it and rewriting it over and over and all that.  In the past, TBH whatever was my first draft was pretty much also my last draft haha.  I cranked out a chapter in one sitting usually and edited it mayyyybeee lol.  I just wanted to get it posted so I could move on and get to that next point in the story.   But I suppose now that I'm older and a bit more self aware, I realize a lot of my own anxieties manifest a lot in my writing though and I can recognize it in my old works like the OG Villain where I JUST WANNA GET TO WHAT I WANT TO WRITE RIGHT NOW OK??  I forced myself to slow the hell down this time, take it one scene at a time, and when things felt off I took breaks, slept on it for a few days and came back with new approaches or ideas.   And so far that's how I continue to work on it.

   Also, CHVRCHES.  I listened to a ton of that band while working on this chapter especially.

[infinityonhighvevo]

(I don't know if I'm doing this right but) Could you do a snowbaz high school band au? I love your writing so much >.

this isn’t exactly what I was asking for but this prompt is TOO GOOD to pass up I have been a Band Kid for 5 years I am Fully Qualified

a normal!snowbaz hs band au

genre: fluff!

warnings: i mean, davy is mentioned like once and it’s implied he’s a piece of shit, there’s also swearing? but that’s really it this was a clean fic

words: 1k! they’re getting longer!

hope u enjoy! (as per usual, it’s under a cut)

Simon

I hate the orchestra pricks. They think they’re better thanall of the band kids.

More importantly, I hate Baz Pitch, who’s first chair violinand acts like he’s above everyone.Who, for some reason is sitting in theband room playing clarinet.

“Don’t you play violin? Why do youhave a clarinet?” I ask, not only because I’m annoyed with how goddamn perfecthe has to be, but also because I genuinely want to know what the hell he’sdoing here.

“A person can play more than oneinstrument, Snow,” he sneers back, then turns to his piece and continuesplaying.

My jaw practically hits the floor.

He’s amazing. 

Baz

I wish Snow wasn’t here to gawk at me while I practice myaudition piece. It’s quite disconcerting, the way his eyes pop and how he looksgenuinely shocked at how I can play.

It’s even more disconcerting how beautiful he looks and howmuch I want to blush because Simonfucking Snow is watching me play clarinet and thinks I sound good and what isthis witchcraft he hates me what if he’s here to make fun of me what do I do then.

I continue down the page, ignoring him.

Soon I’m too wrapped up in the piece to notice he’s there.

But not too wrapped up to see him leave.

Why did he leave?

Simon

I feel like I’m invading on something private. His piece isat least four pages long, which gives me enough time to quietly slip out whilehe’s playing and hide in the bathroom.

I have to catch my breath because, holy shit that was breathtaking.

He even looked gorgeous playing it.

It’s pretty hard to look even half-decent playing saxophone.(Impossible, according to Agatha, my girlfriend.)(Ex-girlfriend. I still haveto get used to that.)

The only reason I still play saxophone is so that I can geta scholarship to college and get out of here.

My father wants me to stay here, and that’s probably whereI’ll end up. But if I can play jazz music and entertain the fact that maybe oneday he won’t be able to control me, I’ll get through high school.

The bell rings, and I walk out of the bathroom and go tomeet up with Penny for lunch.

“Pen, I swear, it was the prettiest thing I’ve ever heard,”I tell her once she’s gotten her lunch and sat down.

“Okay, Simon,” she says, ignoring me and checking somethingon her phone.  She always gets like thiswhen I talk about Baz. She says I “talk too much” about him but really, Ithought he stalked me! I see him everywhere, and it always looks like he’s justlooked away from me, like he’s been staring at me but doesn’t want to getcaught.

“If he didn’t drive me nuts and wasn’t a creepy stalkerI’d-”

“Simon,” Penny says, exasperated, “if you’re going to wax onabout your hate for Baz I don’t want to hear it.”

We both fall into silence. Penelope, who’s probably lookingat memes (I swear, she’s obsessed) snorts at something and then turns her phoneoff.

“How’s Agatha?” she asks.

Way to be blunt, Penny.

“I don’t know. Her girls have surrounded her, I can’t evengo near her or apologize.”

Penelope shrugs. “I’ll tell her to knock it off later.”

“You don’t have to. She can do whatever.”

“You aren’t going to run back to her?”

“I don’t think so.”

Penny looks impressed, and also like she’s about to give aspeech, but then the bell rings and both of us are sent in opposite directionsto rush to last period.

I have math, which is alright. I can understand math,there’s always one answer and you never have to fish around for somethingdeeper. And everything makes sense; there are no maybes.

But today, I can’t concentrate.

Baz sits next to me in math.

He’s doodled all overhis notes. When I look over, I see that they’re other types of notes. He has awhole song written in the margins of his math binder.

The bell rings, and everyone is rushing to get their stuffaway and head home. Baz is no exception; he’s the first one out of the class.

“Baz,” I call after him, “Baz!”

He turns, looking startled for a second, and then he regainshis composure.

“What do you want, Snow?” I’ve barely ever heard him speak,but he sounds bored… and a little bit scared? Why is he scared?

“I just- your- ah fuck, your solo this morning soundedreally nice,” I stammer. Why can’t I talk normally?

“Thanks,” he says, his face impassive.

Baz

“I have a practice room booked for today, d’you…maybewanna…play with me? There’s a piece that I’ve been looking for a clarinetistfor but everyone here is kind of shit,” Snow says in a rush. He either stuttersor talks too much, the goddamn beautiful mess.

“Sure,” I hear myself say. I sound bored. Good.

Ten minutes later, I kind of regret my decision. Simon has not shut up for the entire walk downto the practice rooms. But then again, it isn’t every day that I can actuallyhave Simon fucking Snow babble on to me.

When we finally get in the room Simon pulls out the pieceand asks, “How good are you with sight reading?”

I look at the piece. Doesn’tlook too difficult. “I can manage.”

“Alright, cool.”

We start playing, and it sounds beautiful.

I have never heard classical music that sounded good on analto saxophone until now.

There’s a part in the piece where he has a solo, and I getto watch him play. His face is so open and full. Simon Snow walks like a ghostaround this school, and I am seeing what he looks like when he’s alive. Andhe’s so alive.

I want to kiss him. (God, does he know that’s why I used tostare at him all the time?  Because he’sgold and light and beauty and I want to kiss him so badly.)

He stops his solo suddenly, looking self-conscious and confused.“What? Did I fuck it up?”

It takes me a second to find my voice and try to rid my faceof emotion. “No. No, that was-” I trail off.

He smiles and looks at his feet, and I can see a mole on theback of his neck, next to a faded scar. I want to trace my hands over it andtell him he’s beautiful. I want.

And then Snow’s lips are on mine and there is nothing else Icould want.

[tigerlilynoh]

A Late Night

This is a little scene/writing exercise that probably never would've made it into Job & Family.  I sometimes write alternate scenarios like this in order to flesh out characters/dynamics for my own benefit.  In the end this scene wasn't adopted because I didn't want Dean to practice avoidance behavior in the middle of me trying to run him through the ringer.  Also, I didn't like the idea of him ditching everyone else when they needed him.  That being said, there's a lot of small stuff in here that holds true to me and in that way I feel like it's almost a what-if style Deleted Scene.

Characters: Dean x original character Words: 2,046 Spoiler alert:  Contains spoilers up through chapter 81 of Job & Family.

Dean & Jeremy walked all the way around Broken Arrow Park three times, then the two blocks back to Jeremy's apartment building.  It was almost two in the morning and they hadn't seen another person in at least an hour.  Dean had felt guilty calling so late, but he needed to get away from the bunker.  Once again he'd let Jeremy take the lead on the conversation, content to just listen to anything far removed from the turmoil of his life.  Though there was only so long that they could tiptoe around the circumstances of their meetup.

“Do you want to tell me what's going on?”  Jeremy asked when they got to the front steps of his building.  “I'm guessing you didn't call me at midnight on a Tuesday just to hear me ramble about annuities.”

“I'm having a rough time and I needed… I’m not sure.”  Dean hesitated.  He barely knew the guy.  They'd only met a night or two earlier, but Jeremy was one of the only people he knew that wasn't neck deep in the apocalypse drama.

“Do you want to talk about it?”  Jeremy offered with a sympathetic smile before breathing into his hands to warm them.

“My… my half-brother,”  That was probably the easiest way of conveying the complicated family relationship with Dylaniel.  “he was in an accident.”

“I'm sorry.”  Dean could see sincere concern in Jeremy’s eyes.  He suddenly felt a little less guilty about messing up the guy's night.  “Are you two close?”

“I only got to know him recently.  He's younger, about twenty.”  Dean remembered the bleak & bloody scene, then covered his face.  “I saw him.  He's a mess.  I don't know…”

Jeremy cautiously wrapped his arms around Dean.  It was strange to have someone he hardly knew- I quick little fling from a bar, trying to comfort him.  But at the same time he was just grateful for whatever comfort he could get.  After a moment Dean hugged him back.

“How can I help?”  Jeremy asked quietly.

“I don't think anyone can help.”  Jeremy let go of him a bit and leaned back in order to look him in the eyes.  Dean felt a bit embarrassed to be standing there, awkwardly burdening someone with his own problems.  “I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have put this on you.”

“It's okay.  I was kind of hoping you'd call- just under better circumstances.”  Jeremy's eyes flicked down bashfully.  “Maybe this is a little… Do you want to come in?  I can make you some coffee or... you can crash on my couch if you don't want to go home.”

Dean hadn't been considered actually going into Jeremy's apartment at all, but the suggestion that maybe he didn't want to go back home struck as painfully true.  The thought of going back to the bunker, it just felt like too much.  He’d have to go back and face everything eventually, but he wanted an escape so badly, even for just another hour.

“Some coffee maybe.”

“Sorry about the mess.  I don't usually have people over.”  Jeremy said as he tossed his keys into a red ceramic bowl of loose change & thumb drives on a bookshelf by the door.  “This machine brews the best coffee, but it’s so slow to warm up.”

“It's okay.”

Dean looked around at the small studio apartment.  The furniture was minimal & modern, but bright flashes of personality made the place warmer.  A large canvas depicting a red & purple sunset hung on the wall above a sleek grey couch.  A dozen issues of magazines like Economist & Foreign Affairs, three thick manila folders, a laptop, & a used glass tumbler sat on a maple coffee table.  The kitchen consisted of little more than a fridge, a stove that seemed to only serve the function of being additional counter space, & a professional grade coffee machine.  He could see the corner of a queen size bed peeking out from behind a four panel room divider of white & red paper framed with maple that matched the coffee table.

“I know it's 2am, but I don't have decaf.”  Jeremy warned as he took off his jacket and started fiddling around in the kitchen.

“That's fine.”

“Make yourself comfortable.”

Dean looked through the bookcase that had been right next to the door.  The top few shelves were packed with classic literature that Dean had never read, most of which he'd never even heard of.  But the bottom shelf held an 8” record player and a collection of vinyls.  Dean flipped through the selection, which was almost entirely jazz.

“Feel free to put something on.”  Jeremy invited from the kitchen.  “The neighbor on the right is deaf and the couple on my left are out of town.”

“Nina Simone or Miles Davis?”

“Surprise me.”  Dean  grinned at the challenge, then put on Cannonball Adderley.  Jeremy glanced over at the unexpected selection.  “That's a cheap trick.”

“You told me to surprise you.”

Dean strolled around the apartment listening to Autumn Leaves.  This was a civilian’s home.  It'd been so long since he'd been in one- at least for long enough to make himself comfortable.  He wasn't on a job.  He wasn't drunkenly having a one night stand.  He wasn't even working a cover.  He leaned against a narrow section of kitchen counter that was the equivalent to a table and watched Jeremy wash a few coffee mugs while the coffee machine was heating up.

“Serious question,”  Jeremy warned him.  “Do you want to talk about your brother or should I distract you?”

“Distract me.”  Dean replied after a few seconds of guilty deliberation.

“Do you like jazz?”

“I haven't listened to any in years.”  He wasn't exactly sure whether the answer was yes.  It just wasn't something he ever considered.  “Most of the time I stick to classic rock-”

“Rolling Stones?”

“AC/DC.”

“To each their own.”  Jeremy shrugged as he dried the mugs with a tidy dishcloth, then folded and rehung it .

“You don't like that rougher stuff?”  Dean asked, a bit confused by the idea of not liking more visceral or cathartic music.

“Life is tough enough.  I like music that slows you down.”

“Yeah, I noticed a lot of cool jazz in your collection.”

“You do know your jazz.  Aren't you the mysterious one.”  Jeremy grinned at him, then leaned against the counter opposite Dean.  “Tell me about your secret life as a jazz club owner.”

“Not quite.”  Dean hesitated for a moment before confessing his actual source of exposure.  “A year or two after high school, my family lived outside of Hermosa Beach for a few months- my little brother was still in school, so we tried not to move that much.  Anyway, there was a club I used to go to most nights, they didn't card and the jazz scene doesn't see a lot of bar fights.”

“I can see it now, a bright eyed youth, out in the world on your first adventure, dipping your toe into the shadowy night life.  Wooing women and drinking…”  Jeremy circled around to Dean's side of the counter while he chewed his lip while trying to settle on a guess.  “an old fashioned.”

The prediction felt so innocent & pure, it was sweet that someone might think he could've ever stumbled into a brave new world as peaceful as that.  He hadn't lied to Jeremy about the evenings at the club.  He was trying to just be himself and the thought that Jeremy saw him in such a light made him feel more like a real person- not just some two dimensional womanizing hunter, but secretly he was a more complex man.  Not only was he allowed to be more, someone admired it in him.

“Manhattan.”  Dean corrected.

“So I need to buy some sweet vermouth?”

Dean leaned in and kissed Jeremy.  Jeremy fumbled with the coffee mug that he was hold, attempted to put it down without turning away from the kissing, and dropped the mug to the floor.  Neither of them even checked to see if the cup was broken.  Dean lightly nibbled Jeremy's lip.  Jeremy’s fingers slid up the back of Dean's neck, into his hair, sending that incredible tingling down his spine.

Dean gripped Jeremy’s shirt, pulling him closer.  They bumped into the wall and knocked into a painting.  Jeremy redirected them away from the wall and its fragile artwork.  Dean's left leg ended up between Jeremy's as they tried to move, causing them to stumble.  Jeremy landed backwards on his bed, accidentally pulled Dean down on top of him.  Without hardly missing a beat, Dean kept kissing Jeremy while reaching for Jeremy’s belt.  

“Stop.”  Jeremy said after pulling, back breaking the ravenous kiss.

“What?”  Dean whispered in surprise, heart pounding in his chest that was resting on Jeremy's.  He was pinning Jeremy to the bed, legs intertwined, both partially hard.  

“You're upset.”  Jeremy gently pushed Dean a few inches off of him.  “I’m not going to take advantage of you.”

“But... I'm…”  He wasn't sure what he was trying to say- what he'd been hoping for.

“I’m saying no.”

Dean looked down at this guy who’d been nothing but nice to him- Jeremy had tried to take care of him, he still was.  The truth was that Dean had gotten caught up trying to drown himself in any sort of distraction or comfort.  He was in deeper than he'd meant and the fact that Jeremy had to have been the one to say no- not once, but on some level three times made his stomach knot.

“God, I'm so embarrassed.”  Dean climbed off of him, rolling onto the bed next to Jeremy.  He could feel himself turning pink.

“Please don't be.”  Jeremy reassured.  After a moment of awkward silence he rolled in his side to look at Dean.  “You want to hear embarrassing?  One time I went on four dates with a guy before I found out he was straight.  I thought his girlfriend was his sister- all you white people look alike- anyway, I went in for a kiss, but realized I messed up halfway through, so I faked passing out.  I accidentally hit my head for real on a table on my way down and was knocked out cold.”

“You're kidding.”  Dean was trying not to smile at the bizarre mental image.

“I woke up in an ambulance.”  Jeremy chuckled.  “According to the discharge nurse it wasn't the worst ER kiss story she'd heard.”

“Not a kiss, but I once passed out drunk while eating a girl out.  I nearly suffocated.”  Dean offered, then rolled onto his side to watch Jeremy laugh uncontrollably to the point of tears for a whole minute

“That sounds like the worst way to die.”  

“Maybe for you.”  Dean teased.  

“Thanks for taking no for an answer.”  Jeremy smiled and softly touched the back of Dean's hand.

“Anytime.”

They stared at each other for a long while before there was a beep from the kitchen.  Jeremy sat up a little faster than Dean had expected- he was almost a bit flustered.

“The coffee machine’s warmed up.  I'll be right back.”  Jeremy said as he walked towards the small kitchen.  Dean tried to watch him, but he was already nodding off.

Dean woke up in his shirt & boxers, snuggled up with a similarly dressed Jeremy.  For a moment he was so startled by the minimal clothes that he wanted to hop out of the bed, but he remembered that nothing had actually happened.  He'd just been too exhausted after a difficult day's emotional roller coaster and ended up falling asleep before Jeremy had been able to make him some coffee.

He reached over the edge of the bed to check his cell phone.  The shifting made Jeremy unconsciously reposition, almost spooning Dean.  He moved slower so as not to wake him.

“Where are you?”  Sam’s text was only from four minutes earlier.

“I panicked. Needed some space. How is he?”  Dean replied.

“About the same.  You ok?”  Sam answered after a few seconds.

Dean looked over his shoulder at his sleeping companion.

“I need a little more time, maybe 2-3 hours.  But call me if anything changes or if I can help somehow.”  Dean sent the text, placed the phone on the nightstand, then fell back asleep.