#for the limbo talk.. got kinda carried away sorry

[ghostiezone]

hello hello hello good evening talk bout sad cwilbur thoughts?? i am sitting in front of u with my chin in my hands i wanna listen to rambling.

ok so im listening gto this song right. and like. not to be all sadboy about it but. i dont necessarily consider this to be a wilbur song BUT some of the lyrics r fitting so it works for this.

“like tv magazines and coffee beans, i have such simple needs” he really gets fixated on little things after he comes back. Little details he took for granted before spending 13 years in what was essentially a sensory deprivation tank modeled after his worst nightmares. But there are so many things, so many little tiny things that he never noticed before that he gets a little lost in it sometimes. The way the stars reflect off the river. The ants caught in a death spiral on the ground by the first step up to the van. The tiny bits of moss starting to sprout in stationary tires. the subtle shifts in the direction of the wind every time he steps outside. the texture of every individual loose thread in his sweater and how it feels when they brush his skin. it gets overwhelming. 

little too overwhelming. maybe he develops the mildest case of agoraphobia. ranboo hasnt been to the van for a while (and won’t be back for even longer, though he doesn’t know that yet), he hasn’t seen quackity and hasn’t had the energy to make the trek over to the desert (sand is too much. just the thought of sand touching his skin in any way when he feels like this is enough to cause a physical reaction). he doesnt want to leave. doesnt wanna go anywhere because he knows no matter what, some tiny thing is just gonna set him off again. but he wants to see people. limbo has left him with a warped sense of object permanence when it comes to people. if nobody’s around to see him as alive, how does he know this isn’t just a trick? how does he know he won’t wake up the next morning to grey walls and cold concrete floors and a numbness that seeps into his bones and realize that this has all just been another elaborate nightmare conjured up by his personal hell to torture him some more? is wilbur soot even real if nobody’s around to see him? 

“its not agoraphobia, its just a lack of air supply that keeps me up at night” leave it to wilbur to deny that anything’s wrong with him, even when he can’t sleep because he’s too busy hyperventilating his way through a panic attack because the knife slipped while he was cutting vegetables and barely grazed his finger. 

“i’m not momentarily out of my mind” << this is just a cwilbur lyric. i think i might use this as the title for a fic in the future lmao

“i dont need to be hospitalized to make me realize that ive got a problem, no i haven’t, let me be” the constant tug of war game in his mind of desperately needing to be around people after being isolated for so long and the self hatred in the back of his mind telling him that he doesn’t deserve to be around people after he hurt them the way he did. the struggle of pulling people closer because you’re desperate to be noticed, to be real in someone’s eyes other than your own, but having punished yourself for so long that the comfort becomes uncomfortable so you just push them away again in this ugly cycle 

anyway. thats all the significant lyrics, i just. holds cwilbur in my hands. this bad boy can hold so much mental illness in him. will never rid myself of the hc that he gets overstimulated by every little unexpected sensation. pain hurts Too Much, sounds are Too Loud, lights are Too Bright. everything is so much. makes him want to pull all of his hair out but he can’t even do that because it hurts too much. he forgets that he needs to eat or drink or sleep, so sometimes he’ll just unintentionally push himself to the point of exhaustion and that definitely doesn’t help with the mental burnout. when pillows are too soft he just lays on the floor of the van using his coat as a weighted blanket because it’s cold and hard and he’s used to sleeping on the floor of a train station. on nights he really can’t sleep he’ll go lay out on the grass and stare at the stars like he used to do when he lived in Pogtopia (until he realizes he can feel every individual blade of grass on his skin and the vague glow of las nevadas’ light pollution is too bright and he can hear the screech of phantoms that have been drawn to his lack of sleep and he gives up to go back to the comfort of cold hardwood floors)

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[monchikyun]

XIII. give you everything

Connor can’t help but laugh when a palm lands on his cheek ever so softly. 

“You’re aware that I can’t feel physical pain, right?” 

“Shut up,” Gavin pretends that he’s bothered by that rhetorical question, but the hint of a smile trying to force its way in doesn’t go undetected. Ever since the morning, his face has been graced by the shade of red Connor can’t get enough of, which is the main reason for his good mood.  

Somehow they ended up playing rock-scissors-paper and Gavin insisted that the loser should receive some form of punishment, “to spice it up a little”. He thinks that the man just wants to test how advanced his programming is, to find out whether he’s even capable of losing. The truth is he could accurately estimate Gavin’s move if he concentrated enough, but then this would be no fun now, would it. 

Of course, he had to draw paper in their first round and the fact that Gavin immediately went for scissors was all but unexpected. The man himself can be sharp like a knife when you touch the wrong side of him. 

Connor has a hard time admitting to himself that he lost on purpose because he can’t quite figure out why. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Gavin mumbles and invites him for a rematch. 

He supposes there are better ways to spend their free time, but since no one is willing to talk about what is going on between them, childish games count as the next best thing. 

And Connor really enjoys the limbo they trapped themselves in. It’s just warm enough without the possibility of leaving burns. Luke-warm, if he’s being honest with himself. A bit bland. Still, he could live with that. He can ignore the longing in Gavin’s eyes if it keeps them safe like this. 

“Guess I win this time.” Gavin’s fist uncurls in disappointment, preventing Connor from enveloping it in his ‘paper’. 

“You sure you didn’t cheat with your robo mind-reading power?” There is nothing but playfulness seeping from his voice, still, Connor can’t believe he even has to ask. 

“You really do think highly of me, don’t you?”

“So that would be a ‘no’.” He squeezes his eyes shut and winces in anticipation. 

“I’ll be gentle, I promise.” 

And he is, imitating the slap he got just a couple of minutes ago. 

“Seriously? Well, that was kinda underwhelming.” He sounds almost dissatisfied. Connor never considered Gavin was into that kind of stuff but one never knows what the other person might be hiding. Not that he minds, it’s just a piece of information he needs to get used to. 

“So was yours.” He smirks at him, creating a petulant frown on his friend’s face. 

“Good point.” At least he doesn’t initiate a fight. It would be a shame if something ruined their so-far peaceful day. 

The snow has finally stopped falling, letting a ray of sunshine peek through the thick clouds. He would suggest taking a walk if Gavin hasn’t coughed three times in the past two hours. Connor has been monitoring his vitals, not noticing any significant change to his health, but that might have been only thanks to their current sufficiently heated location. At least according to his scans it is so, because the detective’s hands rub his arms up and down in an attempt to get rid of the cold only he can feel. 

“If only you had a perfectly comfortable sweater to wear.., what a pity,” Connor shakes his head in theatrical sorrow. 

“Oh, wait.” 

The darts coming from Gavin prick his skin without having to look at him at all. Now, this is fun. 

“You do!.” 

The man seems offended by his toothy grin, which makes it grow even wider. 

“For phck’s sake, Connor. I told you I’ll wear that over my dead body.” 

“Guess I’ll have to kill you then.” 

He means it as a stupid joke, but the air turns serious as soon as his mouth lets out those words. 

“Sorry.” 

He shouldn’t be the one letting himself be carried away by the moment, no matter how carefree it might have been. 

But Gavin doesn’t react to his feeble apology, busy making himself smaller to contain some of his bodily heat. His temperature is still within the norm, but that doesn’t tell him anything about what might happen in the next several hours. Days. 

He repeats his actions from the night before, placing his blanket around the man’s shoulder, letting his hands linger a little longer than they should. 

They spend the rest of the day wasting their time by playing all the games from Gavin’s childhood that Connor would never have the opportunity to experience otherwise. It’s a nice gesture, if that indeed is the intention behind it. Could be that this is the detective’s idea of dealing with boredom. And since they’ve decided to forget all about their work while they’re here, there weren’t many options left if they wanted to avoid all communication that could direct them to the forsaken grounds, also known as a personal dialogue. 

Connor almost had to force-feed Gavin the lunch he ordered for him, fighting against his endless excuses of not being hungry. He needs the strength if his condition is to worsen, and he’d make sure he gets it, even if it ended up in him having to shove a spoon inside his human mouth and nearly choking him to death. The man does sometimes act like a misbehaving toddler, but he figures that’s just a part of his charm. Besides, he likes taking care of him, it makes him fulfilled, for more reasons than one. It reminds him that he’s capable of so much more than just police work. 

It’s late in the afternoon now, the sky has gone dark and their carefully structured conversation quieted down into a pleasant silence. The only light source in their room is provided by the muted television which no one pays any attention to. 

Gavin is sitting on the ground, backed propped by the side of his bed. He’s still snuggled in Connor’s blanket, cradling a cup of tea the android has made for him. 

He has packed plenty of supplies with him, thinking they might come in handy. It’s better to be over-prepared than the opposite, an opinion that this trip has confirmed to him. 

Connor has just got off the phone with Tina, assuring himself that Sumo is being adequately spoiled. He really misses that oversized lump of fur, but the dog is doing just fine without him, so he has nothing to complain about.  

Checking up on Gavin he notices his temperature has risen above what’s deemed healthy. He sits next to him and retracts the skin on his hand, pressing it on the man’s forehead to extract the precise reading, just to be certain.  

“Yeah, I know,” Gavin says, clearly defeated. He shifts a bit and looks at him like he’s seeing the most beautiful being in the world, setting the now half-empty cup aside. 

“C’me here.” 

Maybe it’s the medicine he took twenty minutes ago finally kicking in, making his brain all mushy and body too clingy, but Gavin magically pulls him in his lap and holds him like he’s the last of his kind. He rests his head on the android’s chest, and Connor is too weak to deny him this show of vulnerability. Even if it’s likely drug-induced. They stay like this for a while, basking in each other’s touch, breathing in the tender atmosphere. Their hands have found each other too, fitting together like opposite poles. His spare one is threading through Gavin’s hair, messing it up on purpose. Connor loves seeing it like that, it feels intimate to him. A secret side of the man reserved only for those who are closest to him. It’s nice. Too nice. 

The moment is so overwhelmingly light it doesn’t even occur to him how dangerous his actions are. How those small acts can wedge a rift between them if he isn’t careful enough. 

But it’s too late to back out because Gavin kisses his chest, the place whereunder his mechanical heart beats loudly. And it doesn’t stop there. He traces those kisses up along his collar bone, his jaw, his neck, eliciting a content hum from him in the process. When he comes close to his lips, the man hesitates for a second that seems like an eternity, but ultimately decides to give in. 

And that where Connor draws the line. Snapping out of his trance, he quickly shoves his hand in front of his mouth to prevent Gavin from doing something he won’t be able to take back. 

“I’m sorry,” comes the muffled expression of regret. He truly loathes having to say that phrase so often because he apparently can’t do a single thing right in his life. 

He climbs off Gavin, dropping his body right next to him instead. 

“Why,” the man breathes softly. 

“I- I can’t. I can’t give you everything you want, Gavin.” He tries to communicate his despair through his doleful gaze, which his friend appears to be drowning in. 

“What-” Connor grabs the upper side of Gavin’s hand, guiding it towards him in an answer. It discomforts him greatly, but he leads it to where his genitals would be if he had any. He’s not the only one unsettled by this, for he senses Gavin struggle against his grip and at this point he has no choice but to set him free.

“You phcking toaster, you think I don’t know that?” he laughs without mirth. 

“You think that… that I want you just for your body?” 

Connor has hurt the man again, despite trying to do the exact opposite. 

“...no?” 

“No!” It’s not that difficult to believe, but not as easy when the truth has been spoken out loud. 

Gavin leans back into him, resting his head on his shoulder. At least they haven’t spiralled down the path of pretend animosity. 

“You don’t mind that I’m not a man?” Connor has never really regarded himself as one. It’s a label that doesn’t feel right to him. He’s simply himself, a human-like android who has been given a soul. There is no need for something else.

“I don’t care what or who you are, Con. As long as it’s you that’s inside, I wouldn’t mind if you were a phcking jellyfish, I’d… I’d love you all the same.” 

“You… you love me.”  The world around him gets blurry as he can’t quite process what he just heard.

“Is that so surprising, tin can?” Gavin chuckles, his own tears audible in that delightful sound.  

He wants to say it back, every inch of his being is urging him to do so, but his brain has frozen over and refuses to receive any command his heart gives him.

The words are stuck in his chest, leaking out through his close eyes, unable to be turned into any shape. They stab him with their intensity over and over, making him want to pluck them out and throw them at the person who has created them. 

“I-”

“You don’t have to, Con.” 

Maybe neither of them is ready to carry the weight behind that sentence just yet.

@a-convin-new-year i had to change the title a bit to suit my story hope you don’t mind 

[thatnamelessbutler]

(OoC: So, what's the AU thing about?)

((ooc: Okay so basically I got an idea form a song completely unrelated to the fandom and long story short, Bi n Bu are no longer able to escape from the Egg except through a very specific method, and then Karl comes back along and bippity boppity your body is now our property!

So, yeah. Body-swap AU except Karl kinda dies because to get the swap to work everyone's body had to die. Karl's gets healed afterwards through magical time shenanigans-

So Billiam and Rune(Bu's new name in this AU) wake up in the library, in our current DSMP present, in the weird body of this weird guy who's apparently a weird color-shapeshifter.(yeah, i'm going with the cryptid creature Karl for this one because. it's cool as heck and I never see this anywhere)

a little while after they wake up in the present, karl wakes up after being dormant because he literally died and it's like "HEY WAIT WHAT THE HECK YOU STOLE MY BODY" and everyone else goes "shit shit shit shit"

p.s if you're wondering where hubert is he's dead. the egg killed nearly everyone except billiam and butler because bi is its main caretaker and bu will never leave his side

(more under the cut please there's so much and i actually love this au so much)

Now I'm not a system but I imagine these four(yes, four; Billiam, Rune, Piam(Billiam's Piglin side), and Tune(Bu's Other) operate kind of like one. They have an innerworld and everything, they aren't just all constantly crammed into the front. That would get confusing, stressful and difficult to manage overall. Bu's usually the one fronting because no one else wants to; Billiam doesn't wanna do it because he doesn't wanna mingle with the "poor", Tune doesn't wanna do it because it always gets tripped up with literally everything about the body, it's not even dangerous enough to protect now, and Piam doesn't wanna do it because he's kind of scared of the Overworld someone that doesn't know how to be a Human Person

Oh yeah and I've also talked about all this and more with my bestie so here's a copy-paste of that conversation-

I think an encounter with Sapnap and/or Quackity would go terribly too, until they sit down and explain things as best they can wait no actually "So basically, we killed your fiancée so we could inhabit his body and escape from a really bad situation. sorry" Acid Sapanap would go feral and I can't even begin to conceive what extremely destructive thoughts Quackoty would start having Me MHM Sapnap probably pulls a sword on them and they automatically reach for their own before remembering "Oh shit, we don't have it. OH SHIT-" and then they just gotta r u n Butler's trying desperately to teleport but without a pearl, eeeeeh that's not gonna do anything buddy I'm not sure if Karl has armor in his inventory or not but either way they wouldn't have the time or coordination to equip it Acid they just immediately die it'd be so funny Me "NOT AGAIN, WE JUST GOT FREE- death" Now lets hope either Karl has some extra canon lives, or those lives Billiam bought carry over Acid PFFFFT, BILLIAM'S LIVES GET CARRIED WITH THEM AND IT'S JUST revives ok listen we don't gotta dies revives please let's just dies revives why do you do t dies revives this is just gonna last forever isn't it? dies rev- Me wheeze YEAH "GET OUT OF KARL'S BODY!" "We can't!! It's already been done!! dies" "WHY WON'T YOU DIE!!?" "We are!!??" ohhh, bonus angst points if every time they die, Butler goes a little more dormant- Butler was only meant to have one life, he never got any Totems and his soul cannot take this in the way Billiam's can After about 15 deaths, Billiam gets Sapnap to stop for about five seconds, and in those five seconds he realizes that he can no longer hear or feel Butler Acid oh god Me If he manages to get far enough away and find someplace to hide(perhaps the library again), he dips into the headspace and finds Butler just gone. He looks around for a while and finds them far away from where they were, collapsed on the ground, flickering slightly, and entirely unresponsive. And no matter how much he tries, they just won't wake up, and their Ender half has disappeared completely. He can't do anything except wait for them. Acid fjsjdj oh my god imagine Billiam just goes feral after that he's like "what did you do to m y B u t l e r" and just jumps on Sapnap with his bare hands Me Oh absolutely, he will Murder Sapnap without a second thought and he doesn't care how many deaths he has to go through to do it even though dying more will make it take longer for butler to wake up, and then afterwards he'll be pacing around random areas stress-stimming intensely and waiting for his child to wake up Acid yeap Me Somehow he finds his way to Kinoko Kingdom and is like "oh, this looks like a good place for a walk" and then spends the entire time not actually looking at anything and drowned in anxiety

AND THEN THESE WERE LAST NIGHT'S THOUGHTS, SOMEHOW LATER ON THEY END UP AT SAPNAP'S PLACE CAUSE THEY TECHNICALLY DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO STAY Unless you count the library but I don't think that would be very comfortable-

Anyway, Rune was fronting when they fell asleep and then their chronic nightmares came back. Sapnap wakes up(or was he ever really sleeping?) to some almost animalistic gasping in the other room and runs in to find Karl Karl's body curled on the bed, barely humanoid and random flashes of color spiking over him in waves and clawlike hands digging into his head

So he tries to wake him up, and when he does Bu's first reaction is to scramble away in pure terror because he's not fully out of the nightmare yet, there are even tears running down his face that just get absorbed back into the mass of color. Sapnap tries to calm him down, and eventually succeeds enough to ask him what the hell happened, and who's fronting once he remembers that that is a thing-

Thing is, Bu's gone nonverbal, but hey at least Karl was some sort of shapeshifter so they can just shift blobs of color into the air to answer Sapnap's questions

He very quickly learns only to ask yes/no ones because he can't read Galactic which is the only thing Bu can respond in, but that whole night ends on a pretty good note :3

Acid IS KARL IN THE SYSTEM CANON? HE'D BE THE MAIN FRONTER IF IT IS I THINK Me After that nightmare Rune finds himself trusting Sapnap a little more but also not as able to front, he's just so tired of it. No one else wants to front, he always has to stay there and he never gets a break. At least before, Tune had control during the night and he got to rest some. Now his sleep schedule is just as abhorred as before and no one else even comes near the front. He tries as long as he can, for everyone else's sake, but after weeks of fronting alone he just can't anymore. So he finally leaves the front and just collapses face-first into idk a patch of grass in the innerworld or something, and he's so exhausted of being a person that he can't even think straight, He doesn't want consolation, he doesn't want promises, he doesn't even want cuddles he just wants someone else to take over for a bit. Me OOH MAYBE He wakes up and wanders around the innerworld figuring out what the heck is going on and wondering why he can't see the outside anymore and oh god is he dead, are they all dead maybe they're all dead and none of them know it, and then Rune comes out of front and practically begs to not have to be a person anymore, he tells Karl "please i just want a break, just go out there or get someone else to go out there for a while please" and, well, Karl takes a chance and goes out to front and holy shit is this the real world, holy shit are those his fiancées, holy s h i t Acid THAT'S THE BESR OUTCOME ACTUALLY Me YESSSSSSSSS MASQUERADE SYSTEM + KARL THE MAN HIMSELF JACOBS Acid YESSS Me Karl and Rune are now host and co-host, because. no one else wants to front Acid Karl tricking Billiam into fronting.mp4 Me GSHDFGBSGDHFBSF Rune and Karl lock him into front and Rune proceeds to lean against the nearest flat surface, slide down and then dissociate for the next couple/several hours Karl makes sure no one disturbs him, even if Tune and Piam are Very Worried about their exhausted Human hybrid Acid them taking care of Rune (affectionate)

Acid OK WAIT I WAS THINKING AND IN SYSTEMS PEOPLE USUALLY MANIFEST SO I WAS THINKING HOW THAT'D WORK IN THE MASQUERADE SYS AND I REALIZED THAT EVERYONE IN THERE IS TECHNICALLY DEAD IN A WAY WHAT IF THAT'S THIS AU'S LIMBO? ONE DAY WILBUR POPS UP AND COMMITS MULTIPLE CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY Me HOLY SHIT OH SHIT EVERYONE THAT PERMA-DIES JUST ENDS UP AS AN ALTER IN KARL'S WEIRD COLOR-SHAPESHIFTING BODY XDDD You can always tell who's fronting by the colors, as long as you actually know them enough to know their colors- Acid Wilbur: hello Quackity, I am BAC- Karl: oh my GOD Wilbur shut the FUCK UP we understand it you're gay now please get out of front I have a date in 10 minutes Acid OOOOO YES Me Like Rune is purple/pink(mainly pink) gray-red/dark purple/orange/green eyes(right/right/left/left, respectively), and then he has some other colors sifting through, like a dark indigo-blue and a yellow the color of Endstone Tune is all of that but some of it is darker(the pinks/purples and Endstone color), some of it's the same(the eyes, except they have a light pink shine over them) and some of it is inverted. Clouds will waft around the body when it's fronting and whenever you look through the clouds you'll see the colors inverted Billiam is solidly pale pink except for his eyes(maroon) and his hands and feet(gold, with veins streaking out and tapering off at about the elbow) Piam is a slightly redder pink, with spots of a Netherrack color here and there, and his gold is more orangey, like there's fire reflecting off of it karl is just. karl. Of course he's got the signature swirls in bright violent and teal but other than that he's just a smorgasbord of color, usually bright and neon. When he's near/thinking about Sapnap and/or Quackity, little hearts start popping off him

[yinyanchan]

Off the Grid

This was a NSFW story I was making but lost interest in. Female Reader decides to go off grid away from humanity and goes to the “Haunted” Skeleton forest as it was declared public land but no one will go there after people and even search parties have disappeared. Has Classic, Underswap, Underfell, Swapfell, and Horrortale bros. I really liked readers first experience meeting a skeleton in this as it is a boistrous Black after he saves her from a raging river due to a storm. Classic Sans and Papyrus have been looking out for her but in the shadows as Reader sets up her home on their territory. Reader had never encountered a skeleton and had laughed off the idea that the place was haunted after living there a month. It might be something I come back to but until then I’m leaving the whole meeting under the cut... Be aware that this is slightly NSFW but I couldn’t resist publishing it as it pertains to Swapfell boys. Enjoy!

It took you forever to secure your campsite but you were more worried for the garden. It needed to be covered from the raging storm.

As you went to cross the stream, now a furious river, with your tarp... the current caught your leg in an awkward angle and down you went.

Regretting not having gotten around to making a bridge as you are swept downstream. Doing everything you can to survive as the water became white rapids from the excessive rain.

You were smacked awake. Jerking and shaking your head you were about to yell at whoever hit you... when before you was an average in height, but still taller than you, menacing skeleton. You were scared into a stupor as you watch its shark like teeth curl into a snarl. His black and red ensamble with matching eerie red eye lights locked right on you.

So... the skeleton forest had actual skeletons in it... guess those tall tales weren’t fiction afterall...

“HOW DARE YOU TRESPASS INTO MY TERRITORY HUMAN!!!” It screeched at you causing you to flinch.

Trembling from this spooky loud skeleton you try to take in your surroundings for a possible escape route.... and realize you are no where near the stream.

“Did...did you save me?” You ask curiously and the skeleton falters then seethes.

“I HAD TO FIND OUT WHY YOU’VE COME HERE! DID YOU COME ALONE, HUMAN?” He growls as you try to right yourself and stand up fully.

“...yes...” Honesty is the best policy right?

“WELL, THAT WAS STUPID OF YOU. I THE MALEVOLANT BLACK WILL SEE YOUR END!” He wrenches you up to him by the collar of your shirt.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was trespassing! I-I...” You are cut off as he makes a weird face and takes a deeper whiff of you. A skeleton can smell things?

“FEMALE? ARE YOU FEMALE HUMAN?” He demands an answer.

“Yes.” Not knowing why it made a difference. Honestly you still feel like this is a dream or you died in the river and this was your limbo.

“I SEE... IT WAS YOUR INTENT TO FIND ME ALL ALONG!!!” He lets your shirt collar go and you stumble back a bit in confusion.

You were about to question when another taller skeleton approaches. Tall and lanky with a fur trimmed hoodie. He somehow had a gold fang for being a skeleton in the woods with no dentist, but the crack in his jaw above made you wonder if that was how his tooth fell out or if was the gold one being shoved in.

“Whatcha got m’lord?” He eyes you curiously then smirks with a hint of mischief.

“MUTT! BEHOLD! A FEMALE HAS MADE HER WAY TO FIND ME!” The shorter one puffs his chest out proudly.

“I have?” Still not sure what the hell this is you are experiencing... still kinda hoping you swallowed to much river water and this is just a dream.

“OBVIOUSLY!!! YOU’VE HEARED OF MY SUPERIOR VIRILITY AND HAVE COME SEARCHING FOR YOUR MATE!” Posing pridefully as you gaped at him speechless.

You look to the other one for some sense at what is going on.

“Of course m’lord.” He smirks

well...shit... WING IT

“You know... perhaps I may have gotten carried away... As superior as you truly are... I... I’d hate to bog you down if I wasn’t at least an equal match.” Maybe by putting yourself down it might convince him to just let you go and forget all about this mating nonsense.

“HMMM... A VALID POINT...” He frowns and eyes you with scrutiny... the other however... his grin is positively shit eating.

“But M’lord... She’s braved coming this far. Perhaps it is to be. Such an adoring fan of yours should at least be bred if not taken for a lifemate.” You could punch that asshole as the smaller one seems to perk up.

“YES! YOUR HARD JOURNEY SHALL NOT HAVE BEEN IN VAIN! I ACCEPT YOUR COURAGE AND BRAVERY TO COME TO ME FOR YOUR BREEDING SEASON!” Your eyes widen as he approves almost instantly.You needed to think fast

“I may have jumped the gun a little early though! It’s not my season to be looking for a proper mate... Alas!” If you can pull this off you were sure he’d let you go... He wouldn’t murder someone that he was interested in right?

“BUT YOU SMELL SO FERTILE...” Well that threw you as he gives you a confused look.

“M’lord, Perhaps your presence made her cycle jump forward. You glare at the smirking skeleton that adds a wink to further your ire.

“AH HA! SO EAGER TO BE BRED BY ME MY SWEET? SO MUCH SO YOUR OWN BODY DEFIES IT’S NATURE!” Now he’s just preening but now you are curious... he’s a skeleton... how the hell was that supposed to work?

“...Since we’re talking about it.. How does it work?” Dream or not this was boggling your mind.

“WHAT?” the shorter one cocks a brow bone.

“You know... you being a skeleton and all...” You try to hint but it seems its lost on him.

“THE BLAZES ARE YOU ON ABOUT?” He had no clue.

“Darlin’ a virgin?” Oh you were going to cause physical harm to this skeleton that was obviously enjoying every moment of this torment.

“OH! I DIDN’T THINK I’D HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE BASICS BUT I WILL FOR YOU MY DEAR. I WILL PUT MY PENIS INTO YOUR VAGINA. MY GIRTH WILL SPLIT YOU OPEN FOR DEEP PENETRATION. MY KNOT KEEPING US TIED IN ECTASY AS I FORCE MY SEED DEEP INTO YOUR WAITING WOMB. ONLY AFTER YOU CLAMP DOWN AND CLIMAX ON ME IN PURE EUPHORIA.” What started as a sex ed lecture turned into a sensual and explicit turn on as he leaned and purred the rest of the speech in your ear.

You are a blushing mess.

“Somethin’ wrong darlin’?” the bigger one chuckles.

“I’m scare-roused?” This was maddening. You’ve never had anyone come onto you so aggressively. Unfortunately you seemed to have liked it and now this skeleton has you flustered.

“OF COURSE THAT IS ONLY THE FINALE... THERE ARE OTHER THINGS I WISH TO DO TO YOU BEFORE THEN.” You see a deep red glow seep out his mouth in the form of a tongue.. then is sensually sweeps across his shark like teeth.

Okay so this is happening... your finding something out about yourself as you allow him closer and that tongue graces your neck along with a few nips.

Whimpering as he places those love bites on such sinful spots that make your knees weak.

Suddenly you are yanked away.

“THIS IS OUR HUMAN, BLACK. WE’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK LOOKING FOR HER WHEN WE SAW SHE HADN’T RETURNED FROM THE CLEARING.” A sweet smiling fangless mutt? No this one had more energy and very chipper than the lazy asshole that had been goading you.

He looked to be in some makeshift armor and a long red scarf. As he holds you close to him another smaller skeleton approaches... in a blue hoodie and basketball shorts... and fuzzy pink slippers...

At this point you had to question yourself if this was still a dream... but the more you think on it the exhaustion from having to fight for your life down a raging stream is making your body scream at you.

“NO SHE IS NOT! SHE SOUGHT ME!” Black raged.

“Well she’s been living in our neck of the woods pal. Not really seeking you if she’s been in one spot for several weeks.” The blue hooded one snarks at him.

“YES! SHE HAS THE MOST AMAZING PUZZLE BOOKS!” So that’s where they’ve been disappearing to.

“Not nice to cock block classic.” Mutt squared off with the shorter one.

“I’m just thankful Red wasn’t the one that found her.” the one dubbed as Classic so far sighs.

“Yep, she’d have been fucked conscious then unconscious.” Mutt shrugged and the one holding you shuddered with a horrified look on his skull.

“IS THAT LANGUAGE AND SUBJECT MATTER ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!?” He exclaims

“SHE WAS CONSENTING TO BE BRED BY ME. I AM HER CHOSEN MATE!” Black is not about to let you go.

“More like between a rock and hard place there Black.” Classic growled making the other short one bristle.

“DO YOU WISH TO GO HOME?” The one holding you looks to you for what it is you want. You feel incredibly safe with him.

“Yes.” You simply answer feeling the weight of your exhaustion trying to pull you into the realm of sleep.

Black looks hurt at your response.

“It’s a lot to process Black but I will consider it. Just tired... you know... being dragged down a raging river... nearly dying?” He still looks a little preturbed that you didn’t want to stay with him.

“I SAVED YOU.” He states with a pout.

“You have my deepest thanks and here...” You pull out your still damp handkerchief to hand to him.

“You have my favor.” Black snatches it with a boost in his confidence.

“I shall treasure it my lady. My territory is open to you my future mate.” It should be a crime the way he looks at you.

END EXCERPT

[kimshavacado]

Dead Heat Ch. 1

Pairing: Min Yoongi x reader

Genre: Yet another Arranged Marriage/Mafia AU

Summary: Three extremely powerful families with enough power to bring down entire governments, all with vastly different views on how things should be run. The Min family thinks everything can be solved with money, the Jeon family think everything can be solved with violence, and the Kim family relies more on thought which leads to a lack of action. When Kim Y/N loses her father, she only has one way to save herself and her family. But it involves having to give herself over to a stranger. How the hell is she not supposed to punch him in his stupid rich face?

Dead Heat Masterlist

A/N: Hi there lovelies. This is the first time I’ve ever written anything of my own, I usually just edit friends work, it’s something I’ve been doing for years. I came up with this weird plot and thought I’d take a shot at it. I’ve also always wanted to write Y/N as a badass. This is just another stereotypical fic, and I’m not really sure how long this will be, but I’m kinda looking forward to it. :D

Chapter 1: The Fire In Her Eyes

Never once have you felt the way that you feel right now. Even when you think about all the shit you’ve been put through the past 24 years of your life, nothing comes close to the scale of the fire coursing through your vanes in this moment. It’s not just anger, it’s bigger and more complex. Sure, you’re angry. At your father, at yourself, and at the asshole standing in front of you. But there’s something that adds a hollowness to the melting pot of emotions inside of you. Loneliness. Helplessness. That man’s stupid face as it looks at you certainly doesn’t help. He has this confused expression that’s just dying to be wiped off of his face by a sharp cut of your hand. It seems comical how dull someone could be. You feel everything piling up to the point where you’re about to explode. But instead of keeping face as usual you storm toward the man with fire in your eyes.

*2 weeks earlier*

“Y/N, it’s time to go.” Your best friend of over 20 years says down to you. Instead of responding, you get up off the couch that you’ve been sitting on for the past 2 hours and silently follow him as he leads you both down the building’s main staircase. As you walk through the crowd of people dressed in black he glances back at you a couple of times, most likely trying to analyze your vacant expression.

“The fact that you haven’t even said a word today makes it seem like you’re actually sad he’s gone.”

At hearing this you stop walking. You finally look your friend in the eyes and notice the worried expression on his face. Your hard stare causes his expression to fall. He looks away from you and towards the floor as you continue walking past him. When you reach the base of the stairs, you barely notice the faces of the well-dressed people you pass as you head directly out the door. You’d rather die than receive looks of pity from people you barely know.

Once outside you find solace in the dark and quiet car that’s been waiting for you. You’re alone for less than a minute before Jimin finally joins you inside. When the car starts moving, he doesn’t say anything else to you because he knows you more than anyone. He knows exactly what situation you’re in right now. You’re not even remotely sad about the death of your father. Not with all the shit he put you through growing up.

On one hand you feel like a weight has been lifted off you because he’s gone. No one is left to tell you what your purpose in life is. On the other hand, a new weight has been placed on your shoulders because of what’s about to happen to your family. Something your father had never anticipated happening was dying and leaving you in charge. Yet his untimely death had spoiled his plans. You, being unmarried and an only child, were all that were left of the Kim’s.

As the car finally pulled up to the decently sized mansion you and Jimin still sat in silence. You didn’t notice when Jimin turned his head towards you as you sat there contemplating the events over the last few days. You heard him let out a sigh and let ti hang in the air before you finally faced him and broke the silence.

“I’m sorry. Thanks for today.” You say as you finally look away, not feeling the need to say anything else.

That was something that was great about your relationship, words weren’t always needed. He knew you needed time to sort your thoughts out before a heartfelt discussion on what the hell you were going to do about your situation. You might have seen a slight reassuring smile on his lips after your thanks had you not already been dragging yourself out of the car leaving him inside as you make your way up the steps of your home.

Before you know it you are laying on your bed in your pajamas staring at the ceiling. You barely remember walking up your large staircase or even changing out of your black funeral dress. The house is quiet and empty which makes every moment stretch on forever but simultaneously flash by in the blink of an eye. Your mind is in this surreal state of limbo, but it gives you the peace to go over your options.

Your family is likely to support your father’s opinions on you taking over. They’re very traditional and have their eyes set on a strong male head of the family. There are some who would support your claim, but many don’t know of your abilities to lead since you were so inhibited by your father. Theoretically, someone else in the family could take over, most likely Jin. He’s never expressed interest in leading the entire family but he’s highly respected here. But then what happens to you? You can’t just leave and start a new life, and know you’d never be able to.

If this is the case and someone else takes over, you’ll probably be given away to someone. Jin is married already so that ruins your chances of coming even close to staying as you are in the family. Not that you want to marry him anyway, sure he’s got a pretty face, but he thinks a lot like your father, which is something you aren’t very fond of. Still, your life will never be the same. You just hope that that’ll be a good thing. So long as you get out of it alive.

That night you dream of your childhood. There are a few moments from when you were younger that let you forget the truth about your lifeand future and you are lucky enough to recall them tonight, when you need it most. Tonight you recall the night that you and Jimin became friends.

It was during some annual family get together. It wasn’t a fancy ordeal, just a time for everyone to be together. All the parents had left the children to mingle in a separate area of the house. Jimin had always seen you around at these things. When you were around all the other kids he was intimidated by you.

You were loud and friendly while he was quiet and shy. This is why little Jimin found it strange when he didn’t see you in the center of the room feasting on the attention of the other kids. After wandering, he instead found you in a room down the hall sitting outside of an open window looking up at the sky. It was the first time in days it had been clear enough to see the stars.

Jimin climbed outside to join you and sat next to you silently. The two of you star gaze for quite a while without saying anything.

“What do you think it’s like to be a star?” You ask the young boy next to you. 

“I… don’t know.” He timidly answers.

“I think it’d be wonderful. You can look down and see everything that’s going on everywhere in the world, and you get to see a ton of other stars too!” You excitedly answer your own question.

“I heard that when people die, they turn into stars.” Jimin adds.

“Really!? So one day I’ll get to be a real life star!?” Jimin sees you bursting with excitement and is only able to give you the biggest eye smile you’ve ever seen as he nods in confirmation.

You two spend the rest of the night alternating between talking about what you would do as stars and gazing in silence. It was really the first time when you felt you could be yourself around someone else. Maybe it was because of how innocent he seemed. You wish you could relive moments like that every night, when times were simpler. But with morning comes the reminder of the harsh reality that you are going to have to face.

The next day is a meeting with some high-ranking men in the Kim family. They too have been wondering what the hell was going to happen with your father gone. It’s no surprise to you how quickly it was decided that Jin, one of your father’s right-hand men would take over at least temporarily. At this point you shut your brain down, just wanting to be anywhere but here, especially when they move on to politics of the change and relationships with the other families.

After over an hour of the board’s relentless debating, you let your mind start to wander away from all the issues in your life. You’re about five seconds from dozing off when you catch the end of a certain sentence.

“…best interest to ally families.” Your eyes immediately shoot toward the direction of the speaker knowing exactly where this is going. Jin, one of your father’s righthand men, notices your sudden attention on him.

 “Since the death of his father last year, Min Yoongi has become the richest man in the country. Your father and his were in good standing with each other before their deaths. Marriage between our families was something that was discussed but never acted upon because of unfortunate timing. I’ve talked with Min representatives and it’s something that they’d still be interested in.”

 “What would that do for us?” I ask. “So what, I go marry him and become a Min?” 

“Like we were saying before, Y/N, we’re not in the best financial position.” Jin responds, realizing you weren’t listening to everything before.

“Why do you think that is?” You challenge.

“Y/N-“

“We pride ourselves in what? How smart we think we are? How we think things out and come up with long term plans that we never carry out?” You interrupt. Somehow you keep face and continue your rant towards the board.

“We’re a sorry excuse for a family, we’ve got no power and can easily be cut down by everyone else because my father, who you seem to hold in such high regard, was a misogynistic pig who cared more about how many different brands of scotch he could collect that the longevity of the family-”

 “Y/N!” Jin stops you and stands up, staring you down. So you do the same. You stand and place your palm of the table. You direct your serious expression towards the faces of the surprised members of the board until you land back on Jin.

You look pissed but composed, an ability you got from your father which made it look like you could set fire to the entire world and still have the same look in your eyes. It looks like Jin is about to say something, but you don’t give him the privilege.

 “You know I’d do better.” And you calmly turn and walk out.

 You’ve lost, but you’ve also won. Things were decided in the meeting that wouldn’t be easy to change, but you did gain something. The words you said about the family and your father would’ve gotten anyone else killed, but instead it showed them all who you were. Not many people had seen the fire in you come out when your father was alive. Women were always supposed to behave and save face, but that never changed the fact that you are your father’s only child.

Even though he wasn’t a good man, he was a frightening one. He was intelligent and everyone knew that he was capable of horrible things. You on the other hand, knew he didn’t care about horrible things or what his job was as the head of the family. There was a time where he might have been an awesome scary boss, but you surely hadn’t seen it.

He was more content on just existing and having the power, which might have worked had there not been other families and had we not been involved with organized crime. And now he’s dead for it. You, however, know what it takes to be the biggest player in the game and hope you get to be as cunning as he was because you know you wouldn’t waste it. But for now, you have to worry about crap like marriage instead.

Min Yoongi, the richest bachelor in the country. How lucky are you? You bet he’s just like his father.

Min Yoongi sits across the table from you with an unreadable expression on his face. It’s almost like he doesn’t care that any of this is happening. Like it’s some minor annoyance and he’d rather be somewhere else.

The meeting is fast and formal and you two don’t say a word to each other. Papers and pens are exchanged as well as conversation between family representatives.

Eventually you catch his eyes and you two remain unmoved in a stare down. The intenseness of your expression causes Yoongi to furrow his brows. It’s an expression of curiosity, afterall, he’s never met you why are you suddenly looking at him like you’re about to jump across the table and stab him with one of the pens?

The men around you interrupt your little exchange by shaking hands and collecting papers. You watch as they act like they just bought a car or something. Not just put two incompatible people together.

By the time you turn away from the final handshakes, you see Yoongi is gone. What a charmer. At least that means I may not see him often. Your men collect you and take you home, which will soon not be your home. 

That night you’re out on your balcony with Jimin watching the sky as you talk about the strange meeting.

“Was he cute at least?” Jimin asks you.

“I can’t remember, I was too focused on the dumb look on his face. How could someone not care what the hell someone else does with their life? It was like I was some minor disruption in his day.” Jimin looks at you expectantly basically ignoring what you said.

“He’s not fat.” You concede. “Not horrible looking, but he is short. You’d probably like him.”

“I’m gonna assume you say that because he’s attractive and not because you think I’m short.” He responds. You snort at this as he rests his head on your shoulder.

“What am I going to do?” You ask yourself after a moment.

“Use the situation to your advantage and take what’s yours. It’s what you do best.” Jimin tells you, somehow knowing an answer that would work for you. You knew you picked a good best friend. The two of you sat under the sky and star gazed that night for what would be the last time.

A/N: I promise it’ll get a little less cliché in future parts. The first scene I wrote which made me want to write this in the first place is coming soon along with some Yoongi. I had to rewrite the entire plot of the first chapter so I hope there are no holes so far. I hope this turns out well. Thanks lovelies.

Next Chapter

[sopharsogood]

Not Blood But Close || Self-para

Sophie pulled the pods from her ears and swiped at the sweat dripping down her cheeks. Her muscles burned from the workout, something she would likely regret in the morning, since she’d been rather lax in keeping up with her training while she was away. The chain holding the heavy bag still creaked with the remnant swaying and she almost mistook the faint rapping sound for the chain rattling. Until she heard it again. Draping the towel around her shoulders she went up the basement stairs, through the kitchen to the front door. She could see the mess of blonde hair and the familiar, dopey grin in one of the small windows inset in the front door: Carson Scott. 

She’d been frustrated (no, she’d been angry) with the Scotts for not having Charlie declared legally dead. Maybe it had been selfish on Sophie’s part, but she felt stuck in her life without some kind of closure. If she wasn’t dead, and couldn’t be found to sign the divorce papers, Sophie was stuck in limbo, unable to move forward. But that frustration never quite made its way to her brother-in-law. Even when it bubbled over a little, it only ever rolled off his jovial back. There was no way she could be mad at the man that helped train her, get her into a routine that made her stronger, that focused the negative energy she carried outward instead of inward. 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head at the face he made but couldn’t help her own laugh as she opened the door for him. After the shock of seeing Charlie the night before, Carson’s ridiculous mug was a surprising comfort. “You know, when you do that you look like a giant, blonde Forrest Gump,” she teased as he leaned down for a one-armed hug. She used both, squeezing his neck and popping a kiss on his cheek. 

“Crap, I guess I shoulda brought chocolates instead of your mail,” he answered. In his other arm was a small box which he handed over when they separated. “Most of it’s addressed to your ma, but there’s a few things in there for you. I tossed the ads and shit.” 

“You’re a lifesaver, Car,” she said as she took the box and led them to the small dining table. She set it down and started rummaging through the envelopes, trying to ignore the small pang seeing her mother’s name on many of the pieces. 

Carson followed her in, looking around the small living room and even smaller dining room. The changes were minor, little things here and there that Sophie had done after her mother died. “Still working out I see,” he noted, poking a finger into her bicep. There was little resistance there, even after a few months off. 

“Not still. Again,” she answered, folding the flaps of the box over each other and pushing it away. She toed a chair out for him and pulled a separate one for herself. She went to the fridge and pulled out a pair of water bottles, set one in front of him and took her seat, swigging nearly half the bottle in large gulps. “I didn’t do much while I was away. A little climbing, plenty of walking and hiking, but no forms, no bags to work with. It was a nice break, but I gotta get back into it.” Especially since her stress level had spiked again knowing Charlie had returned, she didn’t add. 

Carson murmured his thanks and nodded his understanding as he sipped. “I can get you back in the ring at the gym when you’re ready,” he offered. “Been a while since I had the air knocked out of me.” The last was said with a friendly smirk, recalling a sparring session that had gotten a little aggressive on Sophie’s part. With over a foot height difference between them, she wasn’t able to land more than glancing blows to his head. But she had managed to take advantage of a weak spot in his defense one day and land a crushing blow to his solar plexus that staggered the larger man. All had been forgiven, but neither had forgotten.

“Yeah, give me a couple weeks or so to get my wind back and I’ll take you up on it. I promise, no takedowns this time.” Sophie sipped as silence stretched between them. They’d managed to keep their own relationship (mostly) separate from all the pain and bullshit of she and Charlie. After all, Charlie had hurt him and her family as much as she’d hurt Sophie. They’d all been abandoned, they’d all lost her. “I uh, saw Charlie at Moonie’s last night,” she said, breaking the silence with a wavering voice.

Carson winced and ran a hand down his face as he sat back in his seat, the artificial limb stretched in front of him. “Yeah, I ah, I’d hoped to catch you and tell you before...I’m sorry Soph.” His shoulders twitched in a minute shrug. “All the stuff with dad, I didn’t see you were back until today.” He paused, bright blue eyes searching her face. “You okay?”

Sophie gave her own one-shouldered shrug. “I will be. It was just a shock, you know? Like seeing a ghost.” She blinked quickly and cocked her head at him, eyes narrowing. “Wait, what stuff with your dad?”

“Cancer,” Carson answered simply, exhaling a long breath. Sophie could see the pain in his furrowed brow, the way his eyes fell to the bottle in front of him. “Chemo, radiation, the whole nine. Not sure what’s fucking him up more, the disease or the treatment.” He spun the bottle in nervous twitches of his fingers at its base. “About the time it got diagnosed, a month or so ago, I happened to see Charlie pop up on insta and talked her into coming home.” 

Sophie scratched at her temple, her own brows knitting at the complicated crux of emotions swirling inside her. “Fuck, Carson, I’m so sorry. Do you guys need...is there anything I can help with?” When her own mother was deteriorating, it was Carson who offered to keep an eye on her now and again so Sophie could get a break. The wound was still rather fresh but she’d do what she could to help. 

“I think we’ve got it covered, for now,” Carson answered. “I’ll let you know though. Charlie’s actually been good with him, with all of this, since she’s been back. I half expected her to blow in, say her goodbyes and take off again.” The last was said with a rueful chuckle. 

At this point it wouldn’t surprise Sophie if Charlie took off again since seeing her. It was one thing to come back for the family with Sophie out of the picture; it was another entirely to deal with both at once, and she had no idea if Charlie could handle it. She had no idea about anything where Charlie was concerned anymore. “I’m glad she came back, for your sake, and your pop’s. You should know, I uh, kinda gave her papers last night. For a divorce. So that’s a thing. In case she, I dunno, needs to talk or something. Hell, at this point she probably doesn’t, she’ll just sign them and be done.” 

A look crossed Carson’s face, a mix of disappointment and resignation. He’d been their biggest champion every step of the way, the one rooting for them against all possible odds. He was the one that had kept the smallest spark of hope alive for Sophie for far longer than he probably should have. Even after she’d given up, years later, he never did. “You sure that’s what you want?” he asked softly. She flashed him a look full of hurt and anger and he immediately lifted his hands up defensively, palms out. “I know, okay? I get it, she fucked up royally. She’s the queen of fuck ups. She left all of us, Soph. But she also came back.” 

“Yeah, she left all of us. But she came back for you, and your dad. Not for me, not for us.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness from her tone. She didn’t want to put Carson in the middle of this. He didn’t deserve that. She took a couple of deep breaths, reminding herself that he wasn’t his sister, he wasn’t the source of her pain. “You’re family, Carson. You will always have that connection with her. You hung on to hope because of blood. I...couldn’t do that. I had to move on with my life. I’ve carried those papers for nearly five years, feeling like they were my last tether to her, and they kept getting heavier and heavier, like a yoke around my neck that I couldn’t shake. They were a weight in my pack and my life that isn’t there anymore.” She wasn’t completely sure that was true; it had been less than twenty-four hours and somehow she didn’t feel the lifting of that weight the way she’d expected. “Whatever we had before, it’s long gone. We’re acquaintances that have ancient history together, nothing more. After ten years, there’s not even pieces left to pick up. That’s not a marriage. Not even close.” She took a moment as her own words settled on her. “She’s your sister, and you love her. I appreciate that you care, I really do. And I promise I’ll do my best to keep you out of anything and everything between me and Charlie. I don’t want you stuck in the middle, or put in a position to pick sides. And I’m kinda short on friends these days, so I’d rather not lose one of my favorites,” she added, trying to lighten the mood a touch. 

Carson could only nod at her explanation. Or excuses. He wasn’t sure which it was. Either way she was right, he couldn’t put himself in the middle of the two of them, not if he wanted to keep them both, which selfishly he did. He finished his water and crumpled the bottle in his large paw. “Had to ask,” he said with a charming smile. He knew how much time had passed, and what had gone on with Sophie in the intervening years. He also knew he’d never seen two people more perfectly matched in his life, despite the craters that had been dumped between them (admittedly, the craters were mostly of his sister’s making). He pushed himself to his feet and tossed the bottle toward the recycling bin from his spot. It banked off the wall and went in. 

Sophie shook her head and chuckled, relieved that the tension that was rising had waned. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about us. We’ll figure out whatever the hell we’re supposed to figure out. You take care of your folks, yeah?” she reminded him as she followed him to the door. “And if you need anything, even just a break, you’re always welcome. Come over, watch a movie or some shit for a couple hours, get your mind off shit. I owe you a few of those.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied. He bent down and kissed the top of her forehead as he gave her shoulders a squeeze. “Still dropping your elbow?” he asked, brow rising. 

She rolled her eyes at him. “No...maybe...” She totally was. “Get out of here. Thanks for the mail. I owe you one.” 

“I’ll think of something good to call in that favor,” he grinned. With a wave he loped down the steps. She watched as he crossed the street, unable to help her eyes from wandering to the windows up and to the right of the front door. She thought she saw a shadow there but couldn’t be sure if it was really there or a trick of the light. 

You sure that’s what you want?

Right now, Sophie wasn’t sure of anything. 

[missjanjie]

Branjie Fic | Take Me Back to the Start (4/?)

Title: Take Me Back to the Start Summary:   Everyone remembers their first love. Not everyone carries those feelings from childhood to senior year. Yet Brock is starting his last year of high school while still longing for the relationship he lost five years ago. Meanwhile, José is at the top of the food chain and seems to have it all together. But maybe their story isn’t over yet. Word Count: ~3.1k (this chapter) / ~12.7k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: T (so far)

Read on AO3

“Are you stupid?”

José pouted and looked down. “I feel like that’s a trick question, ain’t it?”

Not long after the argument at the hospital, he sought out a fresh perspective. He and Silky were very close – even though he’d been using that nickname for so long that he’d get sincerely confused when a teacher used his real one – if there was anyone he thought he could confide in, Silky was that friend.

Silky pinched the bridge of his nose. “Your mans went and had a whole ass fight with Brock and you still didn’t find that shit inexcusable?”

“I’m gonna break up with him!” he snapped before recoiling back into himself. “But then everyone’s gonna think he was right, that me and B got something going on.”

He tilted his head. “And why’s that so bad? Cause y’all had a thing as kids?” His tone softened a bit. “That ain’t a big deal.”

José sighed and tucked his knees under his chin. “It ain’t like that. I just don’t want him to look bad, like a rebound or the ‘other man’ or whatever, even though nothin’ happened between us.”

“Do you want something to happen?”

That brought the conversation to a sudden halt. He hadn’t really thought about it. Or at least, he hadn’t wanted to think about it. It would be embarrassing, he thought, to go back to someone he liked as a child. Why? Well, he didn’t have an answer for that either.

Finally, José shrugged. “I dunno,” he reluctantly confessed. “I mean, it’s cool or whatever that we still get along but like… ain’t that kinda lame? You can’t find someone new so you go back to your first boyfriend… pathetic.”

“I think it’s romantic. Like in a Nicholas Sparks type of way, and I know you a sucker for that corny shit.” He let out a quiet laugh. “You know that’s a white people Hallmark movie somewhere.”

He cracked a smile and looked down. When Silky put it that way, it didn’t sound bad at all. In fact it was kind of romantic. Maybe he had been looking at this all wrong. “I don’t wanna go after him just ‘cause it’s a cute story, though.”

“Then it’s between you and you to figure out how the fuck you feel.” Silky shrugged. “‘Cause if you don’t want him, I’mma shoot my shot. He fine for a white boy.”

José laughed and shoved him playfully. “Bitch, shut the fuck up!”

------

José sat Kyle down on his sofa before sitting down as well, pointedly leaving more than a solid foot of space between them. As confident as he was in his decision, he was anxious as well. He had linked so much of his social persona to this relationship – it was as if he was breaking up with part of his identity. “You know what’s gonna happen next.”

Kyle just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “It’s really some fucking bullshit that you’re taking his side in this,” he huffed.

“He didn’t do nothin’! You jumped him ‘cause you don’t trust me, even though I’m not the untrust- mis- the one that can’t be trusted!” His cheeks flared red and his eyes appeared to darken – now he wished it hadn’t taken so long to reach his breaking point. “I’m so fucking tired of you making everything someone else’s fault.”

“Oh, so it’s always my fault now?”

“Well it sure as shit ain’t never your fault!” José took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of getting overemotional. “Just leave, Kyle. I’m done with yo’ ass for good.”

Kyle scoffed as he got up. “For good, right. You’ll come crawling back around once dancer boy gets sick of you. Not just anyone can put up with that attitude,” and with that, he left, slamming the door shut behind him.

He waited until he was certain he was alone before he allowed his emotions to take hold. Tears were flooding from his eyes and strangled sobs forced their way from his throat. It was a terrible feeling he wanted to avoid – he didn’t want to shed a single tear for him, let alone break down like this.

And this didn’t mean he was ready to address his relationship with Brock yet. There was only so much emotional turmoil he could subject himself to at once. He was so tired of feeling everything so intensely, exhausted after every time he was sent down a spiral. It was something he envied about Brock, he supposed – he could handle so much without faltering, even when he got angry, it wasn’t even close to being on the same scale of Kyle or himself. Maybe everything would be clearer if he had an even temperament, but that was too far fetched.

But now José was left in limbo, and it didn’t take long for it to start driving him crazy. He needed something, anything to distract himself, and he went up to his room in hopes of finding just that.

His eyes fixed on the pile of presents he’d never gotten around to opening. In the days following his birthday, the wounds were still too fresh for him to let himself go through them, but now was as good a time as any. Besides, he knew it’d probably be mostly cash, and there was never a bad time for that.

Overall, his guess wasn’t too far off – he’d accumulated plenty of money, gift cards, and Rihanna merchandise, but something stood out to him. There was a neatly wrapped box with a gold bow on top - it shone and sparkled in a way that stood out among all the paper and plastic. Granted, it didn’t stand a chance against José tearing through it, but the real prize was on the inside.

The box contained a gold, iced-out pendant necklace with a ‘J’ embossed on it. It was eye-catching in a way that some people would find garish or over the top, but not José. To him, it was beautiful, perfect. It was the type of bling and flair he lived for. In fact, he was so caught up in fawning over it that he’d nearly neglected the card.

In contrast to the shiny gift, the card was simple and to-the-point. It was a standard birthday card on the front. “Dear José,” he read, “I hope you have a great birthday, I definitely missed going to them, and it’s so fun hanging out with you again. Sincerely, Brock.”

Oh.

Well, there went his decision to ignore sorting out his feelings. It wasn’t that Brock got him the best gift – that would just be shallow. Rather, it was that outside his immediate family, no one else had gone out of their way to put effort into picking out a gift for him, no one had invested that much care. Shit, Kyle had only gotten him one of those gift boxes from Lush (which would have thrilled him at the time, perhaps).

Before José let this train of thought go any further, however, there was one important thing to figure out. He had to know where he stood with Brock in the wake of everything that had transpired. There was no point in indulging these feelings if they were one sided, and there was only one way to find out the truth.

------

Gym class was José’s only opportunity to set his course of action. With Brock now at cheer practice, this was the only time he would be able to talk to Courtney unaccompanied by her two friends. He waved her over, leading off to the side by the bleachers. “Does Brock hate me? You know, after the fight and whatever?”

Courtney blinked, processing the rapidly asked question. “He definitely doesn’t hate you,” she was able to quickly assure. “He’s… I don’t know, maybe a little confused, I’d even go as far as to say frustrated. You know he’s never been in a fight, this is totally new for him.”

That was fair, certainly nothing he could complain about. If anything, he was relieved -- he had braced himself for the worst. “I did break up with Kyle,” he quietly confessed. “He really chewed my ass out for that.”

“Well… can you really blame him for that?”

“‘Course not. Don’t mean I ain’t hoping he’s not still ignoring me, you know?” José pressed his lips together and looked away. He couldn’t articulate what he was feeling, but he hated it.

Courtney didn’t want to smile as he was obviously upset, but she was more excited about the opportunity to bring the two boys back together. “Why don’t you come sit with us at lunch? You guys can hash everything out and hopefully move past this whole thing.”

Even by José’s standards, that seemed a little too simple. But he didn’t see any other option, so he agreed. “I’ll see you guys then.”

The time between gym class and lunch was filled with anxiety and uncertainty. José paid even less attention than usual in class -- figuring out what to say to Brock took precedent. Most everyone knew he didn’t have a way with words -- he often just said as many as he could in one breath and hoped they made sense. But if nothing else, he owed him an honest, well-thought conversation.

By the time the bell rang, he didn’t feel confident per sé, but he felt better knowing that he wasn’t going in blind. He walked into the cafeteria with a deep breath, stopping only to get his lunch before making his way past his usual table to the much less-populated one. “Mind if I sit here?”

Courtney slid over on the bench and patted the vacant spot between her and Brock. “Sit, sit.” She gestured him over.

Brock looked up, his sandwich still in both hands and in the middle of chewing the big bite he’d taken out of it. “H’lo,” he managed to say, blinking away the surprise in his expression. He swallowed and wiped his mouth. “To what do we owe the honor?”

“I ain’t been feeling right about what happened since it happened,” José decided to dive right into it before he chickened out. “I shoulda seen how fucked up Kyle was and dumped him on the spot. And I did, but not soon enough. I dunno if you’re still mad at me – and I get it if you are – but I’m real sorry.”

Brock took a moment to actually absorb his apology. Part of him wanted to say it was too little, too late, but it wasn’t. It probably never would have been. He strummed his fingers on the table and chewed his lip. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses. I accept your apology,” he finally answered.

José exhaled deeply, a massive weight lifting off of his chest that allowed his entire body to relax. He didn’t realize just how much Brock’s forgiveness meant to him until he got it. “Thanks, B.” He managed to get himself to make eye contact with him. “Really does mean a lot.”

“You can stay and hang out with us, if you want,” Courtney offered when everything seemed calm and quiet. She looked over at Brock for confirmation, but it was clear she wouldn’t be able to get his attention with the way his gaze was fixated on José.

“You’re wearing the necklace,” Brock observed with a soft smile.

José’s hand instinctively went to the pendant, gently clutching the letter. “Yeah,” he smiled softly and looked down. “It’s really… it’s perfect. Thank you.”

“You should’ve seen him at the mall on a wild goose chase for it. Thought we’d be there til closing,” Steven chimed in, then winced as he was kicked under the table. “What? It was like a really intense treasure hunt.”

Red-faced, Brock looked down and chewed on his bottom lip. “It looks good on you,” he said, effectively ignoring his friend’s commentary. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it.”

Suddenly feeling like third wheels, Courtney and Steven shifted off to the other end of the table - not that the other two noticed, of course. They exchanged broad grins and nods of approval as things seemed to finally start to fall into place.

“You still coming to practice today, right? Routine’s finally starting to, you know, shape up.”

Brock nodded, still beaming warmly. “Of course. Can’t let the team down, right?” He nudged José lightly. He still wasn’t a choreographer, but they’d both grown a confidence in his ability to pull something together in time.

José nodded, then cleared his throat. “Coach wants us to have somethin’ to show by next week. Not like, the whole damn thing, but we gotta show we not just fuckin’ around or whatever.”  

The pressure was on then, and Brock had to make a conscious effort to not seem affected. If he started to stress, José would feed off that energy, and everything would fall apart before it even had the chance to come together. “We’ll just have to work harder; you and I can fit in some extra time, right?”

“Yeah. You busy later? We can meet up after school. Gym’s gonna be in use though, so I don’t know–”

“Oh, just come over then.”

It seemed like a reasonable, obvious suggestion. But José felt his heart jump into his throat and his cheeks tint red. “Sure!” he answered before his silence seemed suspicious (silence in itself for him was practically out of his character).

Luckily for him, Brock didn’t seem to notice. “Okay, great.” He smiled.

Not long after that, the bell rang and the two of them had to go their separate ways. Once alone, Courtney and Steven caught back up to Brock, both grinning broadly.

“Don’t say it.”

They didn’t need to – their shit-eating grins were enough to make him groan and roll his eyes. “Look, I’m just glad we’re on good terms. That’s it, okay?” he insisted, regardless of how unconvincing it was.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t convinced of it himself. He had really thought he was getting over his crush, only to realize he couldn’t even go a week without falling right back into it. The only thing that was different this time was the glimmer of hope that it wasn’t completely one-sided anymore.

------

José pushed his hands into his pockets as he looked around the bedroom. While there had been some obvious cosmetic changes since his last visit, he was still hit with a wave of nostalgia.

“Aw, you still got that dent in the wall!” He crouched down and ran his hand over the spot. It was the result of Brock attempting to teach him some of his competition dance moves with less than ideal results.

Brock chuckled and sat at the edge of his bed. “It adds character.” That, and he was the sentimental type. Even if the memory would damage the potential resale value of the house, he wouldn’t want to erase it. “That said, we should probably be careful if we practice the routine in here,” he added with a laugh.

“Hey! I know what I’m doing now!” he huffed, though he couldn’t stifle a laugh. “‘Sides, you don’t get to the top without some damage.”

“From what I hear, you’re not a top at all,” he retorted.

José’s face flushed red. “Don’t worry ‘bout what you been hearing,” he said, then muttered “even if it’s true.”

Truth be told, Brock hadn’t heard it anywhere - it was just a hunch that turned out to be right on the nose. Not that it mattered to him or anything, of course. It certainly wasn’t something he had thought about more than once or twice. “I won’t go around talking, don’t worry,” he assured as he got his notebook out. “Now, what the hell are we gonna pull together by next week?”

“Don’t look at me, you the brains of this little operation here.”

Brock frowned and reached out to tug at his arm and pull the smaller male to sit beside him on the bed. “That’s not true, you’ve got plenty of smarts in this field. You said it yourself, you made your way to the top, collateral damage and all.”  

That made José turn redder than the ‘top’ comment had, albeit for a different reason. He had been complimented for a variety of things over the years, but never for being smart, even when it came to things that he knew he excelled at. That sort of word just didn’t get associated with him. And for the most part, it didn’t bother him - it wasn’t even something he thought about very often. But hearing that - hearing that from Brock - caused a pleasant warmth to spread through him, a warmth he hadn’t felt in quite some time.

“Guess I can’t argue with that.” He shrugged, doing his best to play it off nonchalantly and focusing his attention on the routine. With the background they had built up, they had actually made significant progress in their outline, leaving them right on track to be able to turn something in with the coach on time.

It did come at the expense of taking up the rest of their day - not that either of them seemed to notice, until José finally looked out the window. “Oh shit, it’s dark out. Told my mama I’d be home for dinner, better haul ass home,” he chuckled as he pushed himself to his feet.

Brock nodded as he got up. “Understandable, tell her I said hi,” he hummed as he helped him gather his things.

“We’ll do this again tomorrow, we did good,” José threw his bag over his shoulder and started towards the door.

But then he stopped. He stood in place. Then he turned to face Brock’s direction, his body otherwise frozen in place.

“Did you forget something?”

“Yeah,” José suddenly broke into a brisk walk towards him, an impulse propelling him forward. “This,” he grabbed Brock by his shirt, pulling him in and kissing him hard.

Brock’s eyes went wide, then shut completely. One hand rested on José’s shoulder, the other on the back of his head. He kissed back, losing himself in the moment and allowing years of longing to pour into that one moment.

Neither of them wanted to be the one to break it, leaving them both breathing heavily when they had no other choice. A few quiet moments followed, both of them grinned from ear to ear.

“I really do gotta go,” José finally said, turning to leave and, with his hand on the doorknob, turned his head back to him, offering a wink and a smile before making his exit.

[bluezombiejesus]

05x03 Thoughts

Aight so this time around I’m kinda sleepy cuz I just woke up from a nap so I apologize in advance at the off-hand chance that that makes me miss something.

I’m not gonna comment too much on the explosion cuz I already saw it on Youtube

10k’s at 9,200-something I’m shOOK

Estes is def gonna be an important guy this episode. So far I’m neutral about him but there’s something,,off putting about him

Where’s Dante??

“You look like Satan” “And I’m rockin it!” I LOVE HIM

I also like how they touched on the fact that everything seems to be murphy’s fault sometimes

Also on the “my friend here’s a little phobic of everything” thing

The Table Talker is a mood tbh

I got a weird vibe from Estes wanting to take CZ’s camera tbh

Sun Mei and Warren’s reunion is everthing

OH WAIT IT JUST HIT ME THAT DANTE’S PROBABLY IN LIMBO

Oh wait Murphy’s running away

And someone’s following him. At first I thought it was Muscle (Pandora’s helper), but it just hit me that it could be Dante

Red is so cute this season. I’m so glad we get to see more of her considering before season 5 she was literally in only about 5-ish episodes

The hunt for Dante is on

The news broadcast was rlly chilling oh boy. Due to him being a Zona Boy I’m getting the same vibe. I doubt he has ulterior motives but there’s somethin about him yknow

George was ready to smack a bitch today by the end of his speech

OH IT WAS DANTE

AND MURPHY’S WITH HIM SKKSKSKS

OH MY GOD I LOST MY SHIT WHEN MURPHY WENT FLYING SIDEWAYS

HE FELL OFF I’M SCREAMING

Pandora’s monologue was so creepy GHSHSHS. This must’ve been a fun role for Lydia

I’m like 96% sure she caused the explosion

“Someone’s gonna get an ass whoopin if you don’t stop talking”HOO I FELT THAT

Hooo boy everyone’s running away

I GENUINELY THOUGHT SARGE AND 10K WERE RATTING THEM OUT

I thought the people in the cars were gonna be blends but it doesn’t seem like it

Wait CZ and Doc are wcting like zombies to lure the guys out. Smart.

I like how the guys immediately give up. Smart.

“Here’s a sock for ya, catch” LMAO

The guy who waved em off is me

OH SHIT HOODED GUY WASN’T DANTE FUCK FUCK FUCK

WAIT IT’S WESSON I THINK

AS IN THE BLEND GUY

WHY DOES MURPHY FALL SO MUCH THIS EPISODE JE S U S

I WAS RIGHT IT’S WESSON

WHAT A PURE REUNION UGH I’M CRYING

I L O VE THE TABLE TALKER AND I MEAN IT

It just hit me that RedK’s barely had time to talk during this.

WHAT IS PANDORA DOING

EW WHY IS SHE LICKING HIS EAR SWEETIE STOPSTOPSTOP

Also this episode features most of the scenes from Pandora’s promo pics lmao I NOTICED

The red rock thing is so genius

THEY’RE STILL COLOR-COORDINATED OH MY GOD HIS LEGACY CARRIED ON

I thought Limbo wasn’t gonna be introduced till episode 6. This is a surprise but a very pleasant one tbh

You think Will’s alive?? What about his kid?? They were both p significant last season (although I doubt they’ll be taking an important stage this episode bc

WAIT RED DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT SARGE UP TO NOW nvm she knew half of it

That begs the question tho: how does sarge feel?

I FEEL SO BAD WHEN I SAW THOSE CRUCIFIED Z’S BC MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS “T-POSE”

THE INTERNET HAS RUINED ME CONGRATS YOU GUYS YOU RUINED ME

oH GOD CARLOS

“Blink once,blink twice” is a timeless method

WAIT Y’ALL DO YOU REMEMBER THE GUY FROM SEASON 1

I DON’T REMEMBER HIS NAME (my best guess is Brandon) BUT HE WAS THE ZOMBIE MURPHY MERCIED

Anyway Warren mercying Carlos gave me te same vibe

SHIT THEY BROKE THE GATE

“You worry about sarge a lot” WHAT HAVE I BEEN TELLING Y’ALL SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING THAT IS A BONAFIDE LESBIAN

OH BOY HOW IS HE NOT BEING CHEWED UP MURPHY-STYLE AS OF NOW

Oh wait it’s bc he’s a blend lmao I’m dumb

OH MY GOD HIS H A ND

I knew this was coming but still I wasn’t ready I WASN’T READY

This scene is taking me back to Murphy’s scene in the first episode

Also it takes me back to white light cuz of the hear loss

I’m glad how they brought back the “everything’s in slo-mo” thing too.

OH MY GOD THEY REALLY DID THAT TO SARGE DIDN’T THEY

Y’ALL I’M ABSOLUTELY PISSED WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO THAT

I’m getting too many flashbacks to Mack

Ohhh man ohhh man I’m absolutely pained

I guess you could say she—went out with a bang

I’M SO SORRY FOR THAT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO COPE WITH THIS SO I’M TURNING TO JOKES I’M GENUINELY DEVASTATED

The sound design in the scene where 10k’s getting his hand bandaged is genius

The graves in the promo were for the crucified talkers. Aww :’(

George is so devastated about Newmerica but tbh I’m too anguished about Sarge to think about anything else

There’s this ugly pit in the bottom of my stomach I hate this so much

“Puppies and kittens” as the George-Warren version of the “finger-point” is my aesthetic

P A ND OR A

Edit: It literally just occurred to my dumb dumb ass that Estes is not the shady one, but rather Pandora. She’s the puppet master who’s pulling Estes’ strings. The reason she doesn’t seem to like George very much is because George is the other source of authority in Newmerica, aka a limit to her power.

[seasideretreat]

Speak softly and carry big stick

Friends, I address you know, it's a form of small-talk I believe - but it's certainly not useful, it's certainly not good. I am evil. Anyway, there's no harm sharing my thought-process with anyone; fact of the matter is my life goes to shit when I do no think; e.g. the many texts I have yet produced. Some of them were perhaps suited to my environment, but certainly not to me. I am a Calvinist. I forgot what I wanted to say: case in point, I am insane, but at least I am unchanging.

So here we are: tat tvam asi. Speak soft and carry big stick, in other words. Theoedore Roosevelts words. Good man. Nonetheless, we're still stuck in limbo: I can´t control myself and must share my thought with you, or not. But I wanted to today because the evolution of my wisdom has reached consummate levels of apogee. Tat tvam asi. That's the literal meaning of what I am thinking. But to clarify: speak softly and carry a big stick. And I bought a telescope

Anyway, don't worry no "hard-core" metaphysics today: nothing that somehow has to with anybody's biology and I am not gonna go savage. I ain´t no savage I guess. I don´t remember. And we're not planning a heist so... you won´t here me speaking like I am planning something, like asking you to do anything illegal. I swear.

I met a man on a train in Italy. He asked if I was from der Schweisch (we spoke German). Then he asked me: so are from der Schweisch or from Italy? And that's kinda how it went. I consider him my friend now, my own personal John Silver. He taught me the twisted core of Islam. A little child was laughing, but later, even though I smiled, I thought of his words: grazia? Where was the grace? So too with the question I wish to ponder today. With or without you. Be careful boys.

You see, I am gay, so to speak. I want to fuck men. I think everybody notices that. But I wouldn't mind marrying Emma Watson. I've never fucked anyone. But I feel so much goodness from what I call the boys. But just now I called them the gentleman, which seems the opposite of what I wanna say - and yet, maybe it did manage to convey the meaning. What about the producers? What about the beasts? What about the fairies? No, never that. That's bad. That's self-derogatory. In the end, Steven Spielberg is a much more sensitive and beautiful man than he is known to be.

A man from Poland, when I was in Luxemburg, asked my father if I was gay. My father later claimed he wanted to find if I was my father's boyfriend: fuck that right? He was scared of me, and he thought he had to get to know it's true. When I denied that I was gay (because why would I love him)? he became quasi-violent - he said he was from Poland, and that's what I am saying. You are free the moment you want to be. Whenever you want to be. That's what I am saying: I am vampire. Only a vampire can retain freedom, but he's dead. I am dead. Got nowhere to go. No one to see. No one to ravage.

How to be free? A man needs to where he is, perhaps; and grow in his distinction, his might and love; even as he is no longer himself: he is just a a bird, or a king, or a drudge. I am sorry I said so, but this is what I have become, in truth, not what evil will make you want to think me. "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." I know you.

Anyway, okay. Freedom? Appellation? Obedience? And oppression of course... Liberty is Englishness. Everything is Englishness. I doesn´t matter. I am in control. I know what's happening. These things are all irrelevant. However, they were done in a spirit of conduct that I like, that I recognize. Must I hobby-ize my friends? Do you know what birthday's are for? I suppose you do, for recognizing your existence, noticing your survival. It doesn't matter, though. What matters is that you live with some semblance of enjoyment. Jeu-libre.

The power is spiraling away from me. Shall I just do it, or a girl said, pull the trigger? I did it. I undid it, didn't like it. Found a word, instead of talking about the boys, I'll say I talk about the jets, from Elton John's famous song. And it's the best. Hit it...

[prill-ocs]

i fucking did it here ya go my self indulgent basically 4k word First Time TM Meeku smut fic that had way more exposition than I intended

“What can I do to get it through his head…” Raku paced back and forth through the living room, with Reika and Cashew on the couch. They watched on as Raku seemed to be having some sort of crisis.

“Wellllllll…Why don’t you just - I dunno - be direct about it?” Cashew suggested.

“I sucked him off the other day! How much more direct can I get?!” Raku threw his hands up in the air.

“Oh my god.” Reika covered her ears and looked away. Her and Raku were close, but she did not need to know about his sexual endeavors with the town cryptid he’d been trying to woo for the past year or so.

“Look, you guys don’t seem to get it. I love the guy, but like…Meemo is kinda dense as fuck. I don’t think us doing intimate stuff or me hanging out with him more often is really…making it clear to him that I want us to be more than just fuckbuddies, y'know?” Raku paused. “Not that we’ve actually gone all the way…Do you still call that being fuckbuddies? Or is it blow buddies? Is that a thing?”

“Raku. Please.” Reika looked at him with pleading eyes.

“Right, sorry.” Raku cleared his throat. He stopped his pacing and plopped down on the couch between the other two. He let out a deep sigh as he sunk further into the cushion.

“Honestly, I think you’re just over complicating this! You say he’s dense, right? Then just straight up do a confession. Tell him you love him! He’d get it then, wouldn’t he?” Cashew made a kissy face, batting her eyelashes teasingly at Raku.

“Wha- No way! I think he’d combust from something that direct! He could barely even process when I was going down on hi- “

“I think,” Reika interrupted, “it’s at least worth a try. If you care about him that much, I think you need to let him know straight to his face.”

Raku looked unsure, eyebrows furrowed as he carefully thought about the challenge he was faced with. He knew Reika had a point, but he was also afraid of being rejected. Sure, Meemo probably reciprocated his feelings, but there was also the small possibility he didn’t; and that miniscule chance weighed heavily on Raku’s mind.

“Anyways, if it backfires, we’ll be here to cheer ya up!” Reika threw a stern glance at Cashew, which the latter replied to with a playful nudge to Raku. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. It’s obvious he’s got the hots for you – granted not as much as you have the hots for him – but! I know he at least likes you back; so, stop moping around already and get your man!” She gave Raku a quick slap on the back before getting up off the couch. To be honest, she wasn’t quite sold on that, seeing as how Meemo was so hard to read; but who was she to kick Raku when he was already down?

“Ow…” Raku let out another sigh, before sitting straight up. “Okay, fine, you’ve got me. I’ll do it. I’m expecting a top-notch pity party if this all blows up in my face, you guys got that? “

With that, Raku at least felt a little more confident in confronting Meemo. He’d committed himself to winning Meemo over for the past year, and by God, he was going to finish this off strongly.

*******************************

Unbeknownst to Raku, Meemo was having his own crisis. However, unlike Raku, it wasn’t like Meemo had a support system. Chai wasn’t exactly the optimal person to vent to about -dare he say it- feelings. Romantic feelings at that. No one taught him about this. How was he supposed to know how to deal with the quickening beat of his heart every time Raku got near him? How was he supposed to know if there was some deeper meaning to Raku sucking him off other than he just could?

“This is stupid.” Meemo grumbled as he buried his face into his pillow.

He couldn’t even pinpoint when he began to see Raku in a different light. Was it really so long ago when he considered him a pest? Raku at first was very subtle about his encounters with Meemo, but the occurrences became more frequent over time, much to Meemo’s chagrin. He didn’t think that over time, he’d come to tolerate Raku’s presence, and even -*gasp*- anticipate it. Fast forward to now, and the two of them were in this strange limbo area regarding their relationship.

“Maybe it’s just better if I don’t say anything…” Meemo rolled over onto his side and let out a startled yell after seeing who had entered his room.

“Meemo…?” Chai had walked into Meemo’s room, with the latter too deep into his thoughts to have noticed.  “You ‘kay…?” Chai peered up at Meemo with worried eyes.

“…Yes,I’m okay.” Meemo sat up and gave a reassuring pat on Chai’s head.

With Chai here, Meemo then thought about how Raku was good at handling Chai, and how Chai, who was usually so shy around people, seemed to be comfortable around Raku. It was definitely a plus to have them two get along so well. Meemo recalled how just the other day, they had gone to a park. Raku had picked Chai up and carried him up on his shoulders, smiling and laughing the whole way. The entire time, it was hard for Meemo to tear his eyes away from Raku, as he had looked so…radiant? Something like that. Meemo had nearly gotten a heart attack when Raku had noticed the other’s gaze, and he cocked his head to the side before playfully sticking his tongue out at Meemo.

“Ugh…I think I like Raku.” Meemo finally admitted out loud.

“Mm..me too! I like Raku lots too.” Chai beamed up at Meemo with a big grin.

Well then, if they were both in agreement here, maybe Meemo should just go ahead and let Raku know. How hard could it possibly be?

(Hard. It’d be very hard, as he would come to find out soon enough.)

*******************************

A couple of days passed after Raku had his pep talk with Cashew and Reika. Raku had asked if he could stay over at Meemo’s place while the other two did their part with by offering to babysit Chai for the day. Meemo was understandably suspicious at first, questioning what Raku wanted to even do with just the two of them alone.

“I dunno, I just want to have a sleepover. It’ll be fun!” was Raku’s excuse. Meemo was a little tense about it, unsure if this would escalate into another encounter of the sexual kind. Much to his ignorance, however, he accepted the offer, seeing this as an opportunity to tell Raku about his feelings; and while Meemo had his plan, Raku was preparing his own confession.

The pair made their way back to Meemo’s house, with Raku up to his usual antics and making jokes while Meemo stayed quiet, save for the occasional dry chuckle. The day continued on as usual for the most part. Meemo was never one to initiate conversations, so he’d let Raku run his mouth while he’d add his two cents occasionally. However, something did seem…different. The atmosphere in the room was heavy, and it was undeniable that there was some tension going on between them; and this was more noticeable once it reached evening, and things came to a lull.

Even if he appeared as aloof and jokey as usual, Raku felt like he was going to implode. Having things planned out in his head and having to actually execute said plan were two different things. He could just imagine Cashew taunting him right now for procrastinating.

“…I have to shit.” Raku suddenly announced. They were watching a movie, but he really couldn’t concentrate on it as he had his mind preoccupied with other things. He figured he could use this time to clear his mind before maybe finally making a move. Raku quickly got up and made his way to the bathroom.

Once Meemo was sure that Raku was out of the living room, he took a breath of relief. Finally, he could relax, if only for a little while.

“Okay…when he gets back, I’ll do it………Somehow.”

Back in the bathroom, Raku was spending his time hyping himself up as well. Now had to be the time, right? He wasn’t so sure he could go on the rest of the night with this kind of atmosphere. He looked at himself in the mirror, took a deep breath, and made his way back to Meemo.

When Raku got back to the living room, Meemo began to fidget in his seat. As soon as he sits back down, he thought to himself. Three…two…one…

“So-!” Meemo said, as did Raku……at the same time.

“Uh…go ahead.” Meemo kicked himself for backing down.

Raku recoiled at being put on the spot, but it was now or never.

“Well...” He scooted closer to Meemo. “Y’know…that thing we did last time. I, uh…Don’t do that to just anyone, alright?” Wow, this was off to a great start. “I mean…! We’ve been hanging out a lot more lately, and we’ve gotten a lot closer I’d say. A-and! I really like being around you.  All these feelings have been building up slowly and all that sorta culminated in me blowin’ ya.”

Raku couldn’t see it but dredging up memories of that was flustering Meemo beyond belief. A part of him just wished the couch would swallow him whole and get him out of this.

“Anyways, I’m getting side tracked here! “Raku put his hand on Meemo’s lap, which the other flinched at. “Meemo. Meems. Meemster. Meemeo—”

“Raku get on with it.”

“What! This is hard okay! “

“Just say that you like me already or else I’m going to have to say I like you first!”

“…”

“…Fuck.”

Raku’s face lit up and he grabbed Meemo by the shoulders and shook him.

“OhmygodMeemoyoulikemetooIwassoscaredIwastoopushylasttimeImeanIwasjustsofuckinghornylasttimeandIletthatgetthebestofmebutIdon’twantittoseemlikeI’mjustusingyoutosatisfymydeepcarnalneedsorwhateverthefucklikeIactuallyreallylikeyoualotand—”

“RAKU FOR FUCK’S SAKE.”

Raku withdrew his hands and let go of Meemo. “S-sorry…I just…I’m so relieved. I thought for sure you didn’t feel the same way…” He looked away and rubbed at his arm.

Meemo felt a twinge of guilt. “Raku…Don’t apologize. I…shouldn’t have raised my voice.” He took a second to compose himself. “It’s just weird for me, is all. It was just me for a long time, and then Chai came around, and then eventually…you. Everything’s so new to me, and feelings are already hard enough for me to deal with, but you just kept coming along throwing me curveballs and it really threw me for a loop. Honestly, can you blame me?”

A hand peeked out from his cloak and Meemo reached over to Raku’s face and cupped it gently.

“I…like you too. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t keep tolerating you like this.”

“Wooow, how romantic.” Raku couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle at how blunt that statement was.

“You- You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Raku leaned up and placed a swift kiss at Meemo’s mask.

“?!”

“So now that all that’s taken care of…We gonna do it or what cuz all that tension has got me worked up like no tomorrow.”

Meemo sighed. “Looks like I’m not the only one who needs to rethink what being romantic is all about.”

*******************************

Without a moment to waste, the pair found themselves in Meemo’s room. While Raku was raring to go, Meemo was more hesitant.

“I don’t know if you got this from what I was saying earlier, but I don’t have much experience, so you’re…going to have to guide me a little here. “He mumbled the last part, embarrassed to have to admit that.

“Oh, trust me, I got that, given how quickly you came undone the last time.” Raku said teasingly. “For now, why don’t we start off simple? But to do that, we gotta get this,” he took a step forward and tapped at Meemo’s mask, “outta the way.”

“…I suppose.”

Raku had already seen Meemo without his mask once before, so it wasn’t that big of a deal anymore. Even so, there was still a trace of embarrassment, especially given the situation. At least Raku let Meemo take it off himself – he knew that Meemo was self-conscious without it, so he wouldn’t rush it. Meemo reached up and started by taking off his hood, revealing his messy hair, then undid the string of his mask. As he took the mask away, Raku stared up at Meemo.

“W-what?” Meemo retorted.

“Nothing~ Just admiring the sight.”

Before Meemo could have time to be flustered about that statement, Raku got even closer, placing a kiss on Meemo’s lips. Although taken aback, Meemo slowly but surely reciprocated the gesture, leaning into Raku’s touch. Raku wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, deepening the kiss. While Meemo was preoccupied with that, Raku was gradually leading themselves towards the bed. Once he reached it, he pulled away from the kiss, licking his lips as he looked at Meemo who was visibly more worked up now.

“Not bad. A little sloppy, sure, but we can work on that.” Raku winked at Meemo, as he went ahead and got onto the bed.

“Yeah,yeah.” Meemo replied, not really taking Raku’s jab to heart. Black tendrils went to work at disrobing Meemo of his cloak, as he crawled onto the bed as well, hovering over Raku.

“I’ve been meaning to ask this.” Raku said, as he began to undress as well, tossing his jacket, shirt, and pants off to the floor. “Are you like…technically always naked under your robe?”

Meemo rolled his eyes (how that was possibly seeing as he had no pupils was unclear, but a lot of things Meemo did seemed to defy logic). “No, don’t be ridiculous.” But if he was being completely honest with himself, even he didn’t know how it worked. His body was just this goopy, shadowy, mass. One that could sprout a dick when needed.

“Sure, if you say so.” Raku shrugged, knowing it’d be futile to press on.

“Anyways, what do you want me to do now…?” Meemo tilted his head to the side, genuinely curious.

“Hm…Well, I think now’s a good time than any to return the favor from last time. Buuut before that, help me get these off~” Sure Raku wanted to get to the good part, but he also wanted to tease the hell out of Meemo first.

Giving it some thought first, Meemo reached for the band of Raku’s underwear and tugged on it. He then looked at the fluffy mass that was Raku’s tails. It’d certainly be a hassle if he had to do this slowly, so without much warning, he yanked them off.

“Whoa-!” Raku flopped onto his back from the force Meemo used. “Geez, couldn’t be a little more graceful there?” He pouted.

Meemo held in a chuckle. “Sorry.”

“Nah, sorry won’t cut it, pal. Gotta apologize some other way.” Raku waggled his eyebrows with a smirk at Meemo and slowly spread his legs, displaying himself fully to the other.

Again, Meemo was at a loss, his brain frozen at the mere sight of Raku naked below him. Alright, fine, so maybe Raku had done a little too much teasing and had to take matters into his own hands – literally. Raku reached down to his nether regions, using his fingers to spread his lips.

“Remember what I said about returning the favor…?”

Meemo nodded absently, eyes fixated on Raku’s hand as he began to play with himself. Meemo scoot down the bed a bit, so he could lower himself and be level to Raku’s crotch. His eyes looked up to Raku, who was very much anticipating what would come next. Meemo kissed at Raku’s inner thigh, peppering small pecks until finally giving a tentative lick to Raku’s already slick entrance. As Meemo continued to test the waters, soft gasps were coming from Raku.

“Mmn…y-yeah, juuust like that.” He rested his hands on Meemo’s head, petting his hair reassuringly.

Seeing as how he had his hands full (or, well, mouth full) at the moment, Meemo couldn’t answer. He continued to lap at Raku’s lips, before beginning to prod his tongue in deeper. The more Meemo worked Raku up, the tighter Raku’s grip on Meemo’s hair got.

“Ah-!” Meemo had redirected his focus to Raku’s clit, teasing it with his tongue as he used a finger to slip back into Raku’s heat.  “Fffuck…Meemo, please.” For someone who didn’t have much experience, Meemo was doing one hell of a job.

With Meemo sucking here and there and his fingers slowly thrusting in and out, Raku was starting to come undone, his breathing becoming shallower as his legs began to tremble; but Raku didn’t want it to just end here. Not yet.

“M-Meemo…hey.” He tapped the other on his head.

Meemo stopped what he was doing and looked up. “Mm…Yes?”

“I think that’s enough of that. I want…somethin’ else now.” He adjusted his leg, so he could nudge his foot in between Meemo’s legs. “

“R…ight.”

Meemo leaned away so he could sit back. Shadowy wisps appeared at his crotch, slowly taking form as Raku watched on in fascination.

“I’m really gonna have to get used to that.”

When Meemo’s cock stood fully erect, Raku got up to move and straddle Meemo’s lap. Meemo gulped, being hyper aware of the other’s body pressing against him. Before moving on, Raku stole another kiss, this one needier than the last. When he got his fill, he pulled away, a trail of saliva connecting their lips.

“Hm hm…Here I go~” Raku reached down, giving Meemo’s shaft a few strokes before aligning it against his entrance. Meemo bit his lip as Raku lowered himself onto his hard cock.

“Nngh…It’s so…” Tight? Warm? Just overwhelming in general? It was definitely a very different sensation than being in a mouth, that was for sure. Meemo placed his hands on Raku’s hips, steadying the other as he began to move himself up and down, letting out sweet moans with each movement.

“You feel so good.” Meemo muttered, resting his head against Raku’s chest. He began to thrust up in sync with Raku, wanting to go deeper, feel more. He was torn between giving into his lust and going easy on Raku’s body.

“Meemo, I need it…Move faster, go harder, anything, please.” Raku whispered breathlessly into Meemo’s ear.

That was more than enough to flip Meemo’s switch as he swiftly pushed Raku back onto the bed. He had slipped out in the transition, so he took a moment to push himself back into Raku’s tight heat, savoring the warmth that enveloped him once more.

Meemo’s movements were a little more sporadic now that he was more in control in this position; but he gradually picked up a rhythm and quickened his thrusts. For the first time, he leaned down and initiated a kiss, letting his tongue thoroughly explore Raku’s mouth, as his mind was hazed over from pleasure. Raku was more than happy to oblige, moaning wantonly into the kiss as he was fucked harder and faster with each thrust.

“Meemo…Meemo…Haah…I can’t…!” He wrapped his arms around Meemo’s back, clinging on for dear life as he was reaching his climax. Meemo could also feel himself reaching that point, all the while panting and letting out sounds he never thought he’d make. He used a free hand to tend to Raku’s clit once more, his thumb rubbing in tantalizing circles as he continued to thrust into him.

Raku yelled out in ecstasy, not able to contain himself from the over stimulation. “Mmngh…Yes…A-ahh…Fuck…!” It didn’t take long before he was finally driven over the edge. Raku rode out his orgasm, his whole body trembling as he continued to grind against Meemo, trying to milk that feeling all the way through the end.

Meemo, in turn, let out a stifled groan as Raku tightened around him. That added pressure as well as the sweet, sweet sounds Raku was making brought Meemo to his climax. He pulled out just in time, spilling his cum over Raku’s chest and navel. With a shuddered breath, he laid down beside Raku, and the two of them remained wordless, their labored breaths echoing throughout the room.

“That…” Raku said when he finally caught his breath. “…Was fucking great.”

“Y-yeah?” Meemo turned his head to look at the other, still coming out of his post-orgasmic bliss.

“Mhm. You didn’t do such a bad job after all.” Raku swiped his finger over some of the cum on his chest, playing with it between his fingers.

Meemo felt his face heat up again. “Wait, let me go get some towels to-“

“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s just…enjoy this right now, okay? We’ll clean up in a bit.”

Raku scoot closer to Meemo, resting his head on his chest. “How about you? Didja enjoy yourself?”

“I mean, yes, of course. I thought that was pretty obvious, especially from how…unhinged I got towards the end, there.”

“Yep, ya really fucked me good.” Raku snickered. He was sure to replay the image of Meemo over him, succumbing to lust, over in his head for a long time coming.

They went silent again, just enjoying each other’s company. Raku was gently stroking a thumb over Meemo’s hand when Meemo mumbled something.

“Mmh? What was that?”

“…ve……y…”

“…Babe,I can’t understand what you’re sayin’.”

“I said.” Meemo made sure to look Raku in the eyes. “I…love you…”

“………” Raku blinked a few times, his cheeks heating up and sprouting a nice blush.

“Uh, Raku? …Was that too far? Should I not hav—”

“N-no! You just…you just do these things when I least expect it. My heart can’t take it, y’know?” Raku chuckled softly and shook his head. “I love you too, Meems.” He leaned up and pecked Meemo on the cheek. “So! Ready for the next round?”

“……I’m going to get those towels now.”

“Eh?! No, I was kidding, Meemo come back!!!”

*******************************

“Can we assume it went well?” Reika and Cashew stood at the doorway. They each looked at Raku, hair all disheveled and hickeys clearly visible on his neck, then to Meemo, who although was wearing his mask again, seemed to be giving off an air of guilt.

“Yeeep.” Raku gave the two a peace sign. “Mission accomplished. It’s a wrap, fellas. Etcetera, etcetera.”

Chai, who Reika had been carrying, was set down so he could be toddle on over to Meemo. Meemo wasn’t even sure he could look Chai in the eyes at the moment, not after all he did just the night before; but he knew he had to welcome him back. Meemo lifted Chai up, giving him a hug. “Did you have fun?”

“Mhm!”

“Welp, I best be hittin’ the ol’ dusty trail here. “ Raku went to join his sister and Cashew. “I’ll see ya soon, ‘kay? Love ya, darling.” He said with a wink, before turning on his heel and walking off, whistling all the while.

Reika and Cashew both shook their heads. If Raku had already been so transparent about his crush before, they knew he’d be ten times worse now that he and Meemo were officially together.

“…He’s really going to be the death of me.” Meemo mumbled, as he shut the door; but as he did, he found it hard to stop himself from cracking a small smile.

[kokichi-and-co-imagine-blog]

(cw: self harm) gundham hasn’t been feeling alright lately. he’s been hurting himself again. but he bandages his cuts and carries on like everything is alright. kazuichi is squabbling with gundham like usual. but then he grabs his arm. and gundham flinches. kazuichi looks down and there’s blood, more than there would be from any small scratches. gundham runs back to his cabin to redress his wounds. (go whererever you want with this, I can’t figure out what direction to go)

Oh my god…..

-Kazuichi saw Gundham walking away from the diner -He figured Gundham was talking to Sonia -Kazuichi being quick to anger as always started shouting at him-”HEY, RODENT LORD! WE NEED TO HAVE ANOTHER CHAT!!”-Kazuichi ran up and grabbed Gundham by the shoulder-Gundham didn’t look at Kazuichi, but  uncharacteristically, quietly asked-”What is it now whelp? You waste my time with these mortal emotions.”-Kazuichi grabs him by the arm-in the fleeting moment as Kazuichi grasped Gundham’s arm, he thought to himself-”Doesn’t Gundham only bandage one arm?”-He shrugged the thought off as he held Gundham’s right arm and was winding up to spout more obscenities-But, before he could, Gundam had snapped his attention to his arm and visibly looked pained-His legs buckled and he pulled his arm from Kazuichi’s hand-Kazuichi had been stunned by what Gundham did, and even more so when he saw that the bandages were torn off-Gundham’s arm was riddled with cuts-Some looked deep and were still bleeding-His arm also had what looked like second degree burns-Kazuichi’s face went pale as he looked at his own hand, still holding some of the bloodied bandages-Gundham rushes off as he gets his footing-Kazuichi swears as he ran off he caught a glimpse of tears running down Gundham’s face-Kazuichi instantly dropped the bandages an ran after Gundham-As he was pursuing Gundham, Kazuichi passed Peko-As he passed her he quickly shouted -”Go find Mikan and bring her to Gundhams! Don’t tell anyone else!!”-Peko froze as Kazuichi kept running for Gundham-She shook it off and followed his order-Meanwhile, Kazuichi caught up to Gundham as he was shutting the door to his cottage-Kazuichi grabbed the knob and swung it all the way open, slamming it on the side of the cottage-”Gundham! What the hell was that man!?”-Gundham stood on the other side of his cottage, his left arm partly re-wrapped-”I-it’s nothing more than battle damage. Your mortal mind could not fathom the pain at which I am suffering.”-”Then tell me dude! It’s not like you to go and do something this dangerous. What battle are you talking about??”-”It’s nothing you’d understand, your mortal soul would recoil in horror at the atrocities of this war that goes unseen. I have been burnt by the acid sea and sliced by the razor brambles of the battlefield. Even I was scorched by the fierce dragon who dwells inside my mind. I had to halt their advances. Otherwise, this pitiful rock I have begrudgingly grown fond of would be put at risk.” -At that moment Mikan and Peko come blasting through the door.-Peko shuts the door behind them-Mikan, looking timid as always, looks at Gundham from behind Kazuichi-Gumdham’s bandages slipped a little, exposing his blistered and minced flesh -”KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!” -Mikan practically threw Kazuichi to the ground trying to get to Gundham’s arm-”W-What h-happened?!” -Gundham, barely able to process anything in that moment started to breakdown into tears.-And a more common prose.-”You….None of you understand what I’ve had to go through throughout my life…..”-Peko, from the other side of the room-”Tanaka, your voice..!”-Mikan pulls a roll of bandages and a small bottle of peroxide out of her apron pockets-She begins unraveling Gundhams bandages as he crumples to the floor sobbing-His voice almost sweeter than his other one, but marred by his choked weeps -”The bullies….I was so young……and feeble……..they did so many awful things to me…..”-Kazuichi took a shaky step towards Gundham, and Gundham tried to get further away-Mikan, now rebandaging his arm, kept him from doing so-Kazuichi didn’t step any closer, and was even kept in place by Peko’s firm grip on his shoulder-Gundham started again, a little clearer now”-”I thought I had made it out…..I thought I was safe with my new… nobody paid me much mind…then…then came you.”-Gundham gained a fierce look and growled at Kazuichi, who shrunk back a step.-”You. You just had to pick on me. You dense fuck.”-”G-Gundham I…..”-Kazuichi fell to his knees-The weight of his guilt came crashing down on him-Peko stepped forward and knelt down in front of Gundham-His Dark Devas sprouted from his scarf and stood in a sort of a defensive line-Peko, as gentle as she could, tried to reassure Gundham of something-”You know, if you ever needed a confidant, I could sit and listen to you.”-Gundham’s eyes twitched to Peko’s scarlet optics-”Why should I? You’d be as cold as cold as always and be as helpful as a sugar pill.”-Peko’s eyes darkened a bit, but she continued to press-”Because friendships are give and take. You gave me the privilege of holding your Devas, and I want to repay the kindness.”-As if showing Gundham’s mood, the Devas broke their stance-Mikan piped up as she finished the bandages-”W-we may n-not talk much….b-but I hate to see someone suffering so much!”-Peko held out her hands to The Dark Devas,who marched up her arms-Jum-P climbed up to Peko’s shoulder and nuzzled her neck-”Gundham….”-Kazuichi sighed as he got up-”….if I had known…I never would have been so mean……”-Kazuichi took several steps forward-”Dude…the only reason why is because of my devotion to Miss Sonia…”-Gundham doesn’t even look at him, he only fixes his bandages a little and leans up against the wall-Mikan chirps, interrupting Kazuichi-”Y-you should know that storing gauze bandages in damp places is bad! They should be stored in dry places away from sources of heat and cold! T-the ones you have are old and too dirty to use safely!”-Everyone was kinda stunned, but Peko quickly thought of something to break the tension-She chuckled.-The most quiet and reserved woman on the island,-chuckled.-Kazuichi started to do the same and then said-”Mikan is right! You wouldn’t want in an infection would you?”-Mikan buried her face in her hands and mumbled the word sorry through them-her face turning a pinkish red-Gundham cracked a smile-Mikan squeaked from behind her hands-”You know, they say a merry h-heart is the best medicine….”-Kazuichi clapped a hand on her shoulder and smiled his toothy grin-”Ya know Gundham, if it weren’t for Miss Sonia, we’d probably be friends…”-Kazuichi took one last step towards Gundham and held out his hand-”…Hell, we could even be Soul Brothers.”-Gundham took his hand and hauled himself to his feet-They looked each other in the eyes and Gundham-As if the gates of Limbo opened -Started to laugh his usual laugh-”FUHUHUHUHAHAHAHA! Two men tied to one woman have their souls linked forever! LIke the legends of old!”-Kazuichi laughed back-Peko and Mikan Just looked on and smiled-True, Gundham was still a pretty scarred guy-But this a step forward to a better future