#for those of you who've played the game and know spoilers and want to know why tf Cuff

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Forspoken has so thoroughly taken over my brain that I'm legit, not even joking, considering getting a tattoo of Cuff. There's just three problems with this idea:

I'm scared of needles

I don't like pain of any sort for any length of time for any reason, and

The idea of being stabbed with a needle dipped in ink a billion times to make my arm as pretty as my sassy asshole best buddy does not negate my fear of needles nor my aversion to pain and/or discomfort

Like, I can barely get a shot without freaking the hell out and/or crying. But I still kind of want to do it? But I really, really don't. So I'm gonna sit on this idea for a couple months and see if Forspoken lets go of my brain enough that I decide I don't want the tattoo after all. But if it's been a few months and I still want it? Well, I know at least one person who will happily hold my whiny baby hand while I get inked up, and she also probably has a good recommendation for an artist here in town XD

[hunsa-jars]

man

Heyy things are pretty busy and exhausting right now, but I promise I'm trying to be brave about it

Might pop up here tomorrow

Or the day after tomorrow- this week sometime, or I'll go bonkers

Gonna queue this because I really shouldn't be distracting myself more than I already do nhdfdh

Haghhhh I miss you all, I'll be back

(uhh life update under the cut? to the folks who are curious, kinda wanted to mention these at some point anyways)

OI HI TO THE PEOPLE WHO STAYED HOW'S IT GOING

Remember that I said that my phone might be still alive after all? Well.. yeah, no, that was a false alarm, it really did kick the bucket. Temporarily using my sister's old phone until I get a new one this Christmas

And because I'm the way I am, I refuse to change anything about it- like I can't stand the idea of getting used/attached to it when I know in a couple of weeks I'm gonna give it back, so..

So yeah, I don't want to go through the procedures of logging into everything, including Tumblr

I've been avoiding going here anyway, so technically it helps :''')

My attention span is so awful you guys, so mad at myself 24/7 for always looking for excuses to not do my studying routine

Speaking of studying, this is the last week of uni for this year!

BUT exam period is starting next week and I have like 3 exams before Christmas, so fun

Uhhhh remember the board game I mentioned making? Teacher loved it and wants to display it for the university's open day. Pretty glad, worked hard on that thing (even tho it could have been better)

Gonna show you guys once I get it back

Uhhhh did my best with my recorder, my hands were shaking, but the teacher could tell I was only messing up because I was nervous as balls, and not because I didn't know the songs, thank god

My grandma is doing well! Well.. better. We keep her company. My cousins come to visit us twice a week now, so no silent Saturdays or Sundays

FINALLY figured out how to use emulators, so between studying for the January exams and relative visits, I'm gonna finally play Animal Crossing and Earthbound properly (I think I've mentioned using online emulators before, but those distorted the music so much I just couldn't continue with it)

Also was anybody going to tell me that OFF is free?

And Yume Nikki?? On Steam?????? Hello??

Umm also! My little brother sat down with me last Saturday and made me watch Murder Drones (he's hyperfixating and wanted to pass it onto me, spoilers: IT WORKED)

Oh my goodness... that show................................. Plan for another flooding

What else, uh- we're on season 2 of AOT, it's insane, it makes me insane, I wish I could say more without going unhinged

I... i think that's all

To the people who've been tagging me the past few days I SEE YOU ALL, THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF ME, I'LL GET TO IT

Well

See you guys later this week, hopefully, please take care

[anneapocalypse]

Thoughts Before Endwalker

As I'm about to start Endwalker, I thought it was high time I actually write up some closing thoughts on Shadowbringers, and since I really haven't done this for any of the other expansions, this has turned into a general "thoughts so far" kind of post! And also long. This is not any kind of an essay, just a big long thoughts dump. Spoilers for everything through the end of the Shadowbringers patches.

And I trust I don't have to say this to my own followers at least, but just for the record: please do not tell me anything about Endwalker here, even if you think it's minor, even if you want to hint at something I'll like. I know very little and I'm looking forward to watching it all unfold.

How it started!

It's been a year and change since I started playing this game in the fall of 2022. I didn't actually expect to play very far (I only picked it up in the first place because I was helping a friend set it up! I swore I would never play an MMO! I hated multiplayer games!) and I certainly didn't ever expect to get as deep into it as I have! ARR is very handholdy for new players, which was exactly what I needed to enjoy playing and keep playing. I love the story and the characters and the world and while I do enjoy the solo aspects of the game very much, I've also ended up really actively enjoying playing with other people! I enjoy dungeons. I enjoy raids. I run roulettes more or less every day. Free Company life hasn't always been smooth sailing (long story I won't get into here), but it's also brought me a lot of fun times and some new friends, as well as seeing me step into an active leadership role and not hate it. Who am I? 😂 I don't know! It's not that I've never tried to step out of my comfort zone before when it comes to games and hobbies, it's just that most of those experiences haven't been good and I've ultimately walked away from them. I don't know why this has been different, but it has. It's challenged me to tackle and let go of a lot of old insecurities, which I'm glad for (and grateful to friends who've been patient with me along the way). It's also just been a really good time, and continues to be.

How it's gone! (ARR through Stormblood)

So here I am, in 2024, about to start the last current expansion! Shadowbringers is easily my favorite expansion thus far, but I have really enjoyed the whole ride.

I enjoyed all of ARR, because while I don't think it has the strongest writing and certainly not the strongest characterization, it's really more a very long introduction to the world and its major players and conflicts, and while slow-moving, it does serve that function, and for someone brand-new to MMOs like me, slow was okay. It gave me time to get my bearings and learn the game.

I did really love Heavensward. It hits on several aspects of Fantasy Politics that I enjoy (generations-long war, class politics, structural reform), and postwar Ishgard, while maybe still a little rosy, still doesn't shy away from the growing pains of social change. Also the dragons were cool. I loved Haurchefant a lot, and was heartbroken by his death even as I knew it was coming; I also wouldn't change it. I think his death was meaningful and the natural culmination of his character. A Knight lives to serve. I think Haurchefant was always going to go out sacrificing himself for someone else. If it hadn't been the Vault, it would have been somewhere else. He was a delight and I miss him dearly, but it was a good narrative beat and one I wouldn't change.

Ysayle, on the other hand, I really don't think needed to die. She undergoes a fascinating character arc in Heavensward which I think the writing really drops the ball on at the end. Ideally, I think Ysayle coming to terms with her missteps while continuing to fight for what she believes in would be fantastic. She could have been a meaningful figure in Ishgard's reforms, and she would have made a great Scion. Her death also simply isn't treated with the same reverence as Haurchefant's, and I think that's sad. Heavensward has a bit of a Women Problem, in that it really doesn't give us a lot of female characters who are central to the plot, in contrast to a lot of great and memorable male characters. And the one who is most central dies with a lot less fanfare than WoL BFF Haurchefant. (And I'm not knocking Haurchefant, whom I love dearly, or Aymeric or Estinien! The imbalance is just very noticeable and I wish it wasn't so.)

Stormblood tends to get a bad rap among FFXIV's expansions. It's so common to hear people say it's their least favorite, it wasn't as good as Heavensward, etc. It came up recently in a server I'm in, where a newer player said they were having a bit of content fatigue after Heavensward, and having heard that Stormblood wasn't very good, they were considering buying a story skip. Other responses were, not outright negative, but mostly lukewarm, and I felt like I was the only one who really came out for Stormblood's story. First of all, I don't agree that it's not as good as Heavensward! I grant you that not everyone is as enamored of Fantasy Politics as I am, but as mentioned above, Heavensward is also very political, so I don't really think that's the big difference. Stormblood is maybe a bit grittier in its depiction of war, and that's something I like about it; it's really about the horrors of imperialism and the cost of resistance, and it doesn't pull its punches on that.

Ironically where it does pull its punches is with character deaths, heroes and villains alike. It does feel a little like someone thought they might have hit us too hard in Heavensward, given that we haven't had a lot of major character deaths stick since. I'm not complaining about Gosetsu's return, as I liked him very much and was very happy he lived. I will grumble a little about Zenos, though I'll go easy because I know a lot of people like him. 😛 He just doesn't do much for me. Yotsuyu was a great villain, and I was really dubious when they brought her back, but was pleasantly surprised with how her story ended, to the point that I'm willing to eat a lot of what I said about memory loss as a plot device. They did well with it, and her ultimate death did feel appropriate. Yotsuyu was never going to have a redemption arc, because she didn't want to be redeemed.

It was very refreshing in Stormblood to have more female characters taking essential roles in the plot. Colorism issues aside, I do really like Lyse as a character, and I also loved seeing Yugiri and Alisaie taking prominent roles, especially Alisaie who really hadn't gotten to be in the main plot much before. Rolling around with the three of them was a blast. Raubahn is also a favorite of mine, so seeing him play a major role in Ala Mhigo's liberation and get some character development was excellent. I'm happy that he's stayed involved with the Resistance in the time since.

I also just think Stormblood's new areas are absolutely beautiful. Kugane and the Azim Steppe are particular faves, but I just think they did a great job with the environments and I loved exploring them, including the underwater bits! Eorzea and Ishgard are so European-inspired, and I really enjoyed seeing Asian cultural influences in a fantasy setting. It is after all a Japanese game!

Just this week I finished the reconstruction of the Doman Enclave. As a player who's joined the game more recently, it's always bittersweet to learn about game elements that were temporal and are now lost to time, like the evolution of Mor Dhona during the ARR patches, or the Ishgardian Restoration in the Firmament. I can go hang out in the Firmament and craft and do fêtes and custom deliveries, but I'll never get to see the Firmament being built. It was done when I got there, which for me was after completing 3.3, very soon after completing the main story of Heavensward. The Doman Enclave goes in the other direction. It is a solo experience by necessity, but it's an experience that every new player can have: making their donations every week and watching the Enclave grow. Such things are always a trade-off for an MMO, but between the two, I would definitely choose the one that doesn't lock new players out of the experience.

And to give one last shout-out to Stormblood, I think it's pretty essential setup for what's happening when Shadowbringers begins. It's not just that the Scions are dropping like flies, it's that this is happening on the brink of a full-scale Garlean invasion. Said invasion is also critical to the bad future that G'raha is ultimately trying to prevent. The state and history of Garlemald is inextricably tied to the Ascians who are tied up in all of this. Stormblood is arguably more important to the events of Shadowbringers than Heavensward is, though Heavensward is also not unimportant, both with the continued presence of Estinien (reluctantly so if we believe him 😉), and with the involvement of Tiamat in the Shadowbringers patches. It's all connected!

How it's going! (Shadowbringers)

Urianger is, unsurprisingly, a big part of why I love Shadowbringers so much, as he gets some wonderful character development there and actually gets to be in the plot! But it's not only him—I like how character-driven Shadowbringers is overall, how much the major characters are driving the story and not merely reacting to events. ARR was largely driven by the world itself; the expansions are where the story starts to become character-driven. The driving forces of Heavensward's are much bigger than the main characters, but Haurchefant and Ysayle and Aymeric and Estinien bring a personal face to the conflict and a reason for us to be invested in it. Stormblood's emotional core is Lyse, Yugiri, Gosetsu, and their collective drive to liberate their homelands from Garlean occupation.

Shadowbringers, to me, really brought all of that home. It's not only character-driven but it brings a much more personal touch, I think, to the Scions themselves, with the major players being characters we've known since ARR but now get to know in a deeper way. I've always liked Y'shtola as a character but never felt I really connected with her, and Shadowbringers changed that, even as her story in Shadowbringers is in many ways about her isolation from the others, her (sometimes justified) mistrust and the way she closes herself off even to the people closest to her. Yet there is a deep caring beneath Y'shtola's prickliness as well, which we see in her leadership of the Night's Blessed, the new family she is willing to risk her life for. She's complex and difficult, sometimes angry and stubborn, and we all know I love that in a fictional woman. I really gained a deeper appreciation for her as a character here.

I've said my piece on Minfilia already, so I'll try not to repeat myself too much. I will say that Thancred is the main character I have the hardest time with in Shadowbringers. I appreciated the additional character development given to him at first, but as the story made Minfilia's death more and more all about him to the exclusion of everyone else, the more I started to kind of resent it. It really gets under my skin how he treats Ryne for like, the entire time until Minfilia Prime's final departure. The narrative kind of treats it like oh, he just has a hard time expressing how he really feels! and honestly I don't fully agree with that framing. I think Thancred's cold and harsh attitude toward Ryne does reflect how he really feels at that time—namely, he's angry and lonely and upset for valid reasons, but he's taking them out on a teenager who's fully dependent on him for her survival, to the point that she admits she thinks he hates her. His legitimate pain doesn't justify that to me, and it really kinda chaps my ass how everyone just agrees that he's the one with the most claim to call Ryne family, when Urianger was far kinder, gentler, and more comforting to Ryne than Thancred ever was. And Urianger was in pain too. He also regrets what happened to Minfilia, and his part in it. He was carrying a terrible secret that he couldn't tell his closest friends, which put one of those friends' life in danger. He just owned his feelings, instead of taking them out on a scared kid. I know my bias is obvious, and I swear I don't hate Thancred 😛 but I really didn't like his behavior here and I wasn't really satisfied with the way the narrative handled it.

Probably my least favorite part of Shadowbringers was Vauthry. I just do not like "fat" as shorthand for "evil" and I think there could have been better ways to design him that didn't fall back on that trope. Even Dulia-Chai, a very lovable character in the end whomst we stan, does fall into some fatphobic tropes, and it's unfortunate that in a game without much body diversity (not to single out FFXIV, that's a problem for games generally), we only got fat character models as signifiers for "rich person" (yeah, I get that "fat cat" is the joke, it's just not a good joke) and "repulsive, evil abomination." No love!

On a lighter note, the return of G'raha Tia as the Crystal Exarch was simply wonderful. G'raha was very cute and fun during the Crystal Tower story but his presence was quite short-lived, so we didn't fully get to know him then. I think it's pretty easy to guess that it's him under the hood; he has a distinctive voice and lip shape and also the tower is right there. So the question becomes why he is hiding his identity, what his true motives are, and that's all intriguing! The fact that his plan hinges on his pretending to be the villain at the end and he utterly fails at convincing anyone is… deeply charming. But one of the things I love most about him is the kindness he extends to the people of Norvrandt. Even though his primary mission is the salvation of the Source, he gets attached to these people, offers up the resources of the Crystal Tower freely to improve their lives, helps build a home and sanctuary, fights for the First and becomes deeply invested in their survival as well. He has a huge heart, and I love him. I'm delighted that he gets to return and join the Scions at the end, and it's already been a lot of fun to have him along on the patch quests.

And of course, Urianger my love. 💜 He really shines in this story and every scene with him was a delight, even when I was climbing the walls needing to know what he was hiding. He gets so much good character development in Shadowbringers I could go on for hours about it, but I did especially love the Echo scene where you see G'raha asking him to lie—and you see how much he doesn't want to do it. Urianger's really been on a long arc ever since Moenbryda's death, and I don't think that arc is over yet, but my biggest worry for him as the cracks started to form in his story was that we'd find he hadn't changed, and was lying here for the same reasons he did in the Heavensward patches, and as easily. And that's not the case at all. He hated doing it before, and he really doesn't want to do it again, but G'raha's reasoning is just too strong for him to refuse. I brought it up recently but I think Shadowbringers reveals an Urianger who despite his long isolation really doesn't want to be alone, and does want his friends' understanding and approval and their trust. The look he gives the Warrior of Light if they say they trust him, and then the way he submits himself to their judgment when things go wrong while begging to be allowed to help fix things… god. I love him. And I'll stop there for now, since I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about him in the future. ;)

Emet-Selch is a fascinating villain, certainly the most interesting Ascian we've seen so far, and the one who finally turns what have been fairly two-dimensional powerful bad guys into a truly motivated and complex faction. My favorite villains are always the ones who believe they're the hero, and there are a lot of parallels between Emet-Selch and Solas from Dragon Age: Inquisition which will be obvious to anyone who's played both games. FFXIV being a more linear story afford the player a lot less choice in how they respond to their villains true motives and history, but there's definitely still an expectation that we will sympathize somewhat with Emet-Selch, and recognize the tragedy of what happened to his people.

Ardbert's ghost, too, was a welcome addition to the story. Between his presence and the role quests (which were 100% worth doing in their entirety), I felt like we finally got to actually know the Warriors of Darkness against which we briefly clashed back in the Heavensward patches, and I really felt the pathos of their story, all they fought for and lost, but also their friendship and how they cared for one another.

Shadowbringers is beautiful in so many ways. The design of the Crystarium is gorgeous. Il Mheg is probably my favorite location in the game so far. Eulmore is a fascinating dark mirror of Limsa Lominsa. The way the game takes the idea of "a world being swallowed by light" and interprets that visually is so stunning. The sky over Lakeland arrests you immediately upon arrival, and the crystallization of the Flood of Light where it was halted at the edged of Amh Araeng is a chilling reminder of how much the First has already lost. The music has also been a highlight for me! I really adore the Shadowbringers music, and it has prompted me to go about collecting orchestrion rolls more deliberately than I had before.

The more I sit and write about how much I loved this expansion, the more I think of, so while I could definitely go on, I think I'll wrap it up there. 🙂

Onward to Endwalker. I'm not making any predictions this time, because I have done my absolute damnedest to stay unspoiled for this one and I know very little about what's coming other than what the locations are, what's been revealed in the Shadowbringers patches, and that it's the end of the big story arc we've been on since ARR. I'm extremely excited.

[doktorpeace]

I finished Xenoblade Chronicles: Future Redeemed

All in all absolutely phenomenal experience. Truly a visionary and audacious way to end such a popular series. Thematically resonant through to the end and well earned in the resolution it goes for. Beyond this I'm going to put a read more, under which will contain spoilers for the entire Xeno- franchise. That means Gears, Saga Episodes I-III, Chronicles 1-3, and X. I have a lot of thoughts and plenty more marinating to do, but these are my initial impressions.

Somehow managing to connect all of the Xeno- series not to AUs but canonically the same Prime Earth, which contextually is Our Earth is RIDICULOUS in how he pulled it off. It feels truly organic to all of the stories *AND* doesn't contradict any of them! It even, seemingly, directly ties into the beginning of X with it being 'May 23rd, 2022'. Elma arrived on Earth in the early 2020s and I believe she's that blue dot we see flying onto the Earth at the end of the credits.

Smashing all of those different FTL/Outer Space Colonization projects into a single radio broadcast in the background of just one cutscene is truly remarkable. Just a few lines recontextualizes this man's entire career.

And also, to those in the know, it reveals that all three of them: The Earthlife Colonization Project (Xenogears) The Immigrant Fleet (Xenosaga) and Project Exodus (Xenoblade X)

Occur due to Zohar related experiments gone horrifically wrong. Which we know from each series individually. But knowing that all of them stem from a single post-scarcity, conflict-free, truly equitable and globalized Earth, which nonetheless kept on trying different experiments with these godlike processors and all of them went awry is really interesting.

This game in particular very much focuses on the idea that advancement and power and control for their own sake are meaningless. If you don't have an idea behind it, if you don't want to make things the world tangibly better it's pointless.

Future Redeemed successfully ties every Xeno- game into this theme directly, no matter how subtle they are about it in their own content.

The Chronicles games happened solely because Klaus wanted to play God and make a new universe he would control, using The Zohar.

Gears happened because The Gazel Ministry wanted to create a creature that matched the Biblical God in terms of ability which they could control.

The Saga games happened because people wanted this power for transhumanism, to perfectly control the genes and births of every person, to ignore the realities of death and disease, but in doing so became so entrenched in making literal Designer Babies that it cuts off natural human diversity and reduces the people born to mere products and instruments shilled by different companies with different patents.

And all of these happened from The Zohar, a processor/machine mind that far outstrips anything humanity can believe. A thing which the humans of Earth only discovered by chance. Being meddled with purely out of avarice and hubris. The humans of that Earth didn't need any of those things. They'd already accomplished a perfect, post scarcity world. And that's why Alvis, a machine who's sole purpose is to be the logical arbiter between two other AI, when left to his own devices, decided going back to that would be best, no matter the cost.

He saw all of the tragedies in the three Chronicles settings that occurred solely due to Klaus' hubris and realized none of it would happen if these humans, the ones who've only known strife and difficulty and pain, had access to that post scarcity, conflict free, equitable world and beyond this, Takahashi buries the lede a little bit.

All of those previously mentioned projects to get humans off of earth. They're all cover ups by the Coalition Government of Earth. They're all touted as great advancements for human progress and potential but in actuality they're all just covering up massive, horrific, failures which would each result in the destruction of the Earth and its people. It's just Klaus' mistake had such immediate and tremendous consequences it couldn't be covered up.

Everything was destroyed in an instant. And we see, in Gears and Saga, that those decisions still ultimately do lead to an unimaginable amount of human suffering, just not on Earth. All they've done is ship off that suffering, literally, to some far reach of space.

Underpinning all of this is a distrust in the government and their motivations. A distrust for authority who claims they only want best for you.

Which is why Fei returns to living a quaint life. It's why Shion and Kos-Mos return to their normal. It's why Shulk refuses to become a god. It's why Rex and Pneuma live simple lives. And it's why Noah throws away the Sword of the End.

Each has the chance to become an ultimate authority, to have complete dominion over the lives of countless others, and they all give that up to just be...human. This franchise is truly something special. I cannot wait to see what comes next.

Please, Takahashi. Let us go back to Mira now.

Thank you, truly, @andawarmgeek, for sending me a download code out of the blue for Future Redeemed. This was an experience that I won't soon forget.

[faccal]

Spoilers ahead for the Fallout series. I don't get into a lot of detail, but it involves spoilers for the last episode. Be warned.

Just finished the last episode of season one and there's SO MUCH. I want to freak out so badly.

I had to force myself to not yell when I saw New Vegas in the distance. The only thought in my head and the only thing I could say was "Not my New Vegas."

Aww man, I know there's been a lot of issues and controversies over this show, and I really don't know the half of what's going on, but holy crap does that set up so much.

Could we see a courier? (Could be tough narrowing such a broad character to one idea). Maybe we'll see Ulysses? Given the fact that I'm pretty sure this is well after the events of New Vegas, I'm gonna guess the Battle for Hoover Dam has already happened, but who knows which group won in the show. Maybe it didn't happen. Could the Boomers, Followers, that brotherhood faction, (and maybe even so many companions people who've played FNV have grown attached to.) I know the Enclave was mentioned and had a part in NV, and there's so much more that can be done.

I normally don't get so hype about all of this, and the last show I was so excited and going crazy about was The Last of Us, and I watched that show before I played the game.

There is so much potential here and I'm beyond excited and so unbelievably nervous. I know they showed Robert House, and I'm kinda excited to see where they take it. Is Vegas still under his thumb? Could the Courier become this faceless legend?

I'm so fricken excited this is insane. Oh man, oh man oh man. Still my only thought is "Not my New Vegas." Don't you touch anything Vault-tec! You've done enough. (Also I know the major idea is it does not matter who dropped the bombs, but the idea that they did it themselves honestly makes so much sense, and pulls the argument away from people trying to blame specific countries in the fallout universe.) there's just so much here and I'm still in shock kinda, so my thoughts are being fumbled. But holy crap I need someone to freak out about this with or something. Gosh darn it! Time to watch some YouTube videos lmao.

Also also: deathclaw skull. I've been shouting for deathclaws since I started and I can't wait!!!! They better do those beasties justice, because I know FNV and fallout 3 had some nasty deathclaws. Oooooo I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!

Oh! And I found Thaddeus' situation weird so I looked for a discussion and I saw people giving the theory of him turning into a super mutant, and that makes a lot more sense to me than him becoming a ghoul. Would be awesome to see some super mutant action!

[morgana96]

Trying to Debunk Things the FFXIV Fandom Keeps Making Up About Lyse Hext

(Warning: Stormblood MSQ Spoilers Under the Cut)

I’ve been playing FFXIV for a few years now. It was my first time every playing a Final Fantasy game, and I was nervous I wouldn’t be any good at it. But FFXIV has been a huge comfort and highlight in my life. It’s gotten me through some very tough times and has really inspired me creatively. Not to mention I've met some really great people through the game, and that the community has so many nice and talented people.

But just like any other fandom, things are far from always perfect. There are fans who engage in offensive and gross behavior, fans who are toxic about how to best play - there are plenty of issues this fandom has that most of us are already aware of. But one thing that I think about a lot - although it's far from the only thing - is the strange amount of malice certain fans display when talking about the character Lyse Hext.

I couldn't understand for the longest time why some players hated Lyse so much. Personally, I enjoyed Stormblood, and I like her character. I enjoyed seeing her learn to step out of her sister's shadow and start to become her own person, and I consider her to be one of many characters who my WoL happily considers a good friend.

So it baffled me that people hated her so intensely. I get that not every character clicks with everyone, and that people have varied tastes. But the absolute vitriol some people treat her with has always confused me. That is, until I eventually realized what part of the problem is.

You see, I'm convinced that a good number of Lyse haters weren’t paying thorough attention to Stormblood’s plot. That, or they’ve simply forgotten certain details with time. Because most of the things they accuse her of or site as reasons for their hatred LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED IN THE GAME.

There are so many accusations I've seen thrown around about her, and nearly all of them are something taken out of context, misremembered, or just straight up made up.

So what I want to do is go over some of the biggest accusations this fandom has perpetuated about Lyse and debunk those that are untrue or based on misunderstanding.

People who've followed me for a while probably know I used to do this all the time back in my Naruto fandom days. I’ve seen some really wild takes from that fandom, and still do occasionally even though the original manga ended nearly a decade ago.

But while I had to wade through a lot of nonsense back then, I really enjoy breaking down stories and characters in order to prove my perspectives. So I’d like to get back into it (especially since I’ve been struggling with focus issues, and this gives me interesting subjects to focus on!)

So let's get started:

“Yda was better than Lyse.”

Let's get something straight right of the bat. The “Yda” these players claim is “better”? That person's not real.

In the game’s timeline, the original 1.0 takes place in 1572, and the true Yda died in 1571. In other words, the “Yda” with Papalymo in 1.0 is Lyse. Apparently, legacy WoLs do encounter the real Yda via Echo visions from before 1.0, but the “Yda” they are with during 1.0 and beyond has always been Lyse. (I am not a legacy/1.0 player, so I'm using resources like the lore books and short stories to get this information.)

So what this means is that unless you are a legacy WoL, you never even knew or saw anything of the real Yda. It was always Lyse.

Everyone in the Circle of Knowing already knew this. Remember, it was Papalymo who asked them not to say anything; he recognized it as a coping mechanism for Yda's death, and he wanted Lyse to figure out for herself that she should not hide herself in her sister's shadow and legacy.

And deep down, Lyse had a feeling the others knew. She just didn't voice this, which is described as her “deciding not to know” that they knew. She even admits that she wasn't trying to truly “become” Yda, so it’s unlikely that she was really changing her personality all that much from what it usually is.

So I can't help but be annoyed when people insist they “liked Yda better”. Not only because I don't think Lyse's personality changed much from when she was “Yda”, but also because people who make this claim fail to see how ridiculous they sound.

The lie was a better character?

You see Lyse’s grief response to losing her older sister as a better character?

You hate that Lyse finally chose to let Yda go and try to become her own person? And preferred the lie?

What a weird hill to die on.

“Lyse didn’t do anything for the Resistance before my WoL showed up”

This is what I’m talking about when I say there are definitely players who just weren’t paying attention and instead make up whatever best fits their own biases.

Lyse and Papalymo were working with the Ala Mhigan Resistance since the end of A Realm Reborn. With a great deal of effort, Conrad managed to get them to Rhalgr’s Reach after the events of the Bloody Banquet, and the two of them pretty much spend the whole time after that working directly with Conrad’s faction of the Resistance until you finally manage to find them again towards the end of Heavensward and right before Stormblood begins

Lyse is not some stranger to them by the time your WoL crosses Baelsar’s Wall. By the time you get there, she’s already become close with Conrad, M’naago, and Meffrid. She’s already gone on countless dangerous missions with the Resistance and engaged directly in conflicts with imperials on their behalf. All of this is made clear in both the MSQ and the extra stories online.

I get so frustrated when blatant misinformation like this gets passed off as canon. How are you going to accurately criticize a character when you don’t even remember major parts of the story you’re criticizing? It makes no sense.

“Lyse stole the credit for saving Ala Mhigo from my WoL!!”

Yeah, no. She didn’t.

I’m not even going to pretend to humor this one. It doesn’t deserve it. It’s a lie. A straight up lie. It literally never happened.

But you know what the most annoying and sad thing about it is? This stupid claim is the exact opposite of how Lyse actually behaves throughout the game.

Lyse is seen regularly talking about how much she looks up to the WoL. She talks so much about how they inspire her, whether directly to them or to others when they’re not around. One of the biggest parts of her arc is getting over her fear of not living up to “true heroes”, including her family and the WoL. Hell, when people rightfully thank her for her efforts, she downplays it as simply doing the right thing and not something anyone needs to thank her for.

And when the WoL finally beats Zenos and Ala Mhigo finally becomes free, do you know what she says?

“You beat [Zenos], after all. You’re the real hero of this story. So run along and take your plaudits!”

How media illiterate does someone have to be to think that THIS is a character who’s “stealing credit”?

So no, Lyse Hext did not “steal credit” from your WoL. In fact, your WoL honestly just sounds like a delusional, self-important prick.

“Lyse didn't earn being the leader of Ala Mhigo/ the Resistance! It should have been Raubahn or M'naago!”

There are quite a few big issues with this one:

1 - Lyse is NOT the leader of Ala Mhigo, nor is she the leader of the entire Resistance.

Raubahn is.

Raubahn is Ala Mhigo's acting head of state. He's the one who is now the main head of the Resistance, which is the city-state's official military now that the Empire has lost control there.

I can’t even count how many people I’ve seen shouting about how “Raubahn should have been in charge!”, when he already IS in charge. And basically almost NO ONE ever fact checks anyone else on this.

These players are literally accusing Lyse of stealing a position she doesn’t have from a man who is, in fact, already in said position.

It’s wild.

2 - Lyse is currently the commander of the Resistance troops at Rhalgr’s Reach in the Fringes. That’s it.

The story makes it very clear that the Resistance was originally not headed by any one leader. There were multiple factions with different leaders, and they didn’t always get along and often had different perspectives on how best to free Ala Mhigo.

For instance, it was the Griffin specific faction of the Resistance, led by Ilberd, that attacked Baelsar's Wall. This branch of the Resistance was not affiliated with Conrad, and in fact, some of Conrad's group and fighters from other groups went to join the Griffin after being taken in by his words.

And because of the slaughter Ilberd purposely led those people into to summon Shinryu, many Ala Mhigans became wary of all factions of the Resistance for a time, even though they weren't necessarily affiliated with the Griffin’s faction.

The Resistance only recently began transitioning into an official military unit, rather that countless factions doing their own thing. Lyse is specifically in command of the group at Rhalgr’s Reach, because that was Conrad’s group. She’s NOT in charge of anyone else’s faction.

My guess as to the current chain of command is that the other factions are still being led by their respective leaders, and that since Raubahn now leads them as a whole, they (including Lyse) fall under his command and answer to him.

And as I said before, The Rhalgr’s Reach Resistance are not strangers to her, nor is she a stranger to them; she’s been working with and helping them since the end of ARR. It’s only because so many people refuse to acknowledge this that they’re convinced she’d done “nothing”, or that they somehow would see her as unfit.

3 - There are few things as universally annoying in fandom spaces than fans pitting women who are canon friends against each other. And unfortunately, this is exactly what I see happen most of the time with Lyse and M’naago.

Now unlike some of the other things I talk about in this post, I can at least understand some of the frustration regarding these two. After all, M’naago has been with the Resistance for a longer time.

But once again, this ends up tainted by people’s weird obsession with outright vilifying Lyse and everything she does. She’s not some evil schemer trying to usurp M’naago, and M’naago isn’t her bitter rival or victim. They are clearly very close - Lyse referring to her as “Naago” is a big deal in Seeker culture - and their stories on the lodestone makes it pretty clear to me that they care far more about each other and working to save their homeland than titles and mantles of leadership.

Honestly, I think a lot of people like to forget how much Lyse tried to reject becoming a leader. She was constantly comparing herself to others, and as a result, she considered herself unworthy of such a role and convinced herself it was something you needed a natural talent for. She was the one who insisted that being related to Curtis and Yda wasn’t enough to make her a good leader. It was only when she accepted her own limitations and imperfections that she finally accepted that role. She had to sort her own personal feelings out before she was ready to take on that responsibility.

One of the things I love about Lyse is that she’s a wonderfully flawed character; she has a lot of doubts, but she is trying her best to improve herself, instead of constantly wondering if she’s living up to someone else’s legacy. She’s not a Warrior of Light, or a decorated Archon. But she’s passionate, determined, and always willing to learn from others while she tries to become who she wants to be. In my eyes, that’s what Conrad’s talking about when he tells her she can become a leader. And regardless of what anyone else says, I enjoyed watching her start to come into her own.

“Lyse is a White Savior.”

This issue is much more complex than the other things I’ve brought up here. So I want to start out by making some things clear from the start.

As a black woman, I think one of the only well-founded criticisms regarding Lyse is her pale completion compared to her father Curtis, whose skin is much darker. Colorism is a serious and ongoing issue in entertainment media industries. It’s my belief that Lyse’s character design is a perfect example of that issue. And we as a fandom should absolutely acknowledge and criticize it.

However, I also disagree strongly with anyone who refers to Lyse as “a white savior”.

To provide some background information, “white savior” is a term connected to the long history of white people colonizing, oppressing, and denying agency to non-white people. Its concept originates from the racist ideology known as “The White Man's Burden” (named after a pro-imperialism poem), which falsely claims that white people are morally obligated to "save" people of color from themselves and their "savagery", thus justifying their colonization and cultural genocide. It’s also recognized as a common trope in media, where a white person - usually a white man displaced from white society - is made into the leader or liberator of a group of people of color, thus making said white person the focus of a story that doesn’t actually affect them the way it affects the marginalized.

There are two main reasons why I disagree with calling Lyse a white savior:

1 - Like I’ve already said, I 100% think Lyse’s character design is flawed. But something that’s very important to note here is that Ala Mhigo/Gyr Abania is not a homogeneous society some players seem to think it is.

Like a lot of the other regions in Eorzea, Gyr Abania has a diverse mixture of the world's fantasy races, including Hellsguard Roes, Seeker of the Sun Miqo'te, and both Highlander and Midlander Hyurs. But Gyr Abania is also not homogeneous when it comes to skin color. There are characters and NPCs throughout the Gyr Albania areas with varying skin tones. Some are fair, some are dark, and some are somewhere in between.

The problem with Lyse’s character design is that she’s suspiciously fair skinned despite being the daughter of a clearly dark-skinned man.

But what I tend to see people turn that into is “Lyse is too fair skinned to be Ala Mhigan”.

Fordola is fair skinned. M’hahtoa, M’naago’s mother, and several other members of the M Tribe are fair skinned. There are multiple NPCs across the Gyr Abanian maps that have fairer skin (some are named/can be spoken to, while others are unnamed/background NPCs).

I don’t think I’ve ever seen these characters brought up when people start talking about Ala Mhigan ethnicities. Maybe someone out there has and I simply missed it. But as far as I can remember, I’ve only seen Ala Mhigan skin tones brought up when someone is calling Lyse, and no one else, “too pale to be Ala Mhigan”. It doesn’t work to make this claim because Ala Mhigan is not a race; it's a nationality which is made up of multiple races, and those races seem to have varied skin tones based on what we see in the actual game.

Now remember, this is in no way a recant of my stance. I think Lyse should be closer in skin tone to her father. But the white savior label doesn’t work in this context because despite the problems with her design, Lyse is an Ala Mhigan refugee; not some random foreigner coming into Gyr Abania with no understanding of their history and plight. It’s not enough to claim she’s “too pale to be Ala Mhigan”, because Ala Mhigo/Gyr Abania isn’t homogeneous like that.

2 - When it comes to white saviorism, there’s a very specific privilege and ignorance that comes with it. The reason why it’s offensive is because it makes a white person the focus of a situation that they can’t and don’t truly understand. A story’s white savior - whether consciously or unconsciously - symbolizes white ego and narcissism. And frankly, I do not think that was ever the intention of Lyse’s story.

There’s a big difference between a white savior’s intrusion into a foreign country and a refugee returning to their homeland after many years. While only Lyse’s early years were spent in Ala Mhigo, she is not completely removed from it like people seem to think she is. It’s very clear she remembers her time there, and has clear memories of life with her father and sister.

She was only five when Yda got her out - right at the start of the Garlean occupation - and because of this, she initially doesn’t know how to convince other Ala Mhigans that the fight for their home is still worth it. Her love and hope for a better Ala Mhigo is mistaken for ignorance, because many have been so worn down by the loss and bloodshed that it’s considered suicide to fight back anymore.

Stormblood does a great job of showing how imperialism wears down its victims. The hopelessness felt by many in Ala Mhigo and Doma is the result of years of violence, abuse, and cruelty, and that’s exactly the imperials’ intention; an oppressor wants to break the will and spirit of the oppressed as much as they can, conditioning them to normalize their mistreatment in order to diminish threats to their control.

Characters like Fordola also help show how imperialists manipulate the oppressed to work against their own best interests. All of Fordola’s actions are driven by the misguided idea that working with the Empire would “free” Ala Mhigo. She was convinced that as long as she fought and killed for them, she’d eventually prove that Ala Mhigans are worthy of the Garleans’ respect. But that was never going to happen. It was a tactic to indoctrinate young Ala Mhigans and maintain the imperial status quo. And sadly, Fordola fell deep into that trap.

This is the real cause for Lyse’s initial disconnect. It’s not because of privilege or bias, or a lack of personal connection to Ala Mhigo. It’s founded on the fact that she simply hasn’t experienced the Empire’s relentless tyrannical tactics the same way those who remained in Gyr Abania have.

But this doesn’t mean she hasn’t dealt with loss and fear. Both her father and sister were killed by the Garleans. She’s experienced displacement and having to flee from your home to survive. She’s lost comrades and close friends while with the Scions. This isn’t some naive little girl who doesn’t know the pain that comes with battles and war.

The biggest challenge for the main cast of Stormblood wasn’t just physically fighting the Garleans. It was about a shared sense of pain and loss, and trying to break through the hopelessness the people of Ala Mhigo and Doma were feeling.

Lyse, the WoL, and the other characters aren’t doing what they do for glory. They’re not claiming to know better than the Ala Mhigans and Domans. They’re not trying to take their agency away. They’re trying to convince them to take back their own agency and futures from the Garleans. It’s about understanding their pain, their loss, and their fear, and trying to help them rediscover the strength to keep fighting for themselves. At least that’s what it was to me.

And speaking of the Garleans, it’s wild how I don’t see more people bring up their similarities to white saviorism.

So many Garleans refer to non-Garleans as “savages” and treat them as second class citizens in the provinces.

They insist that their societies and faiths are “primitive”, and that this justifies their invasions and conquests.

They outlaw cultural and religious practices and force their own practices in their place, all under the guise of “civilizing” conquered people and saving them from themselves.

They propagandize themselves as selfless heroes, and people like the WoL as the monstrous villains. “We’re simply trying to rescue these poor, deluded “savages” from themselves and their eikons. Why are you mad?”

And when people fight back and reject them, the Empire plays victim. Take Varis for instance; during that meeting with the Alliance, he targets the very valid issues the Eorzean nations have. But that’s not because he actually cares about fixing those problems; he’s literally just gaslighting them and trying to justify Garlemald’s false sense of supremacy.

It’s all right there. It’s literally a perfect fictional example of the racism, narcissism, and backwards logic of imperialism.

Yet somehow, I’ve see Lyse, an Ala Mhigan refugee, called a “white savior” more often than Garlean imperials.

It’s frustrating, to say the least.

~~~

Well, these are pretty much all the main accusations I’ve seen thrown at Lyse since I’ve started the game. If I think of anything else, or if someone gives me something else to look at, I will add on to this.

I don’t know if I’m changing any minds with this, or even if anyone even has the time or patience to read through this whole post. But it’s feels good to finally write out a lot of my thoughts on this subject after so long. I’d like to do this on more subjects relating to FFXIV, including ways I think certain parts of story could have been improved.

But that’s or another day. Thanks so much for reading ~

[innuendostudios]

Thoughts on: Criterion's Neo-Noir Collection

I have written up all 26 films* in the Criterion Channel's Neo-Noir Collection.

Legend: rw - rewatch; a movie I had seen before going through the collection dnrw - did not rewatch; if a movie met two criteria (a. I had seen it within the last 18 months, b. I actively dislike it) I wrote it up from memory.

* in September, Brick leaves the Criterion Channel and is replaced in the collection with Michael Mann's Thief. May add it to the list when that happens.

Note: These are very "what was on my mind after watching." No effort has been made to avoid spoilers, nor to make the plot clear for anyone who hasn't seen the movies in question. Decide for yourself if that's interesting to you.

Cotton Comes to Harlem I feel utterly unequipped to asses this movie. This and Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song the following year are regularly cited as the progenitors of the blaxploitation genre. (This is arguably unfair, since both were made by Black men and dealt much more substantively with race than the white-directed films that followed them.) Its heroes are a couple of Black cops who are treated with suspicion both by their white colleagues and by the Black community they're meant to police. I'm not 100% clear on whether they're the good guys? I mean, I think they are. But the community's suspicion of them seems, I dunno... well-founded? They are working for The Man. And there's interesting discussion to the had there - is the the problem that the law is carried out by racists, or is the law itself racist? Can Black cops make anything better? But it feels like the film stacks the deck in Gravedigger and Coffin Ed's favor; the local Black church is run by a conman, the Back-to-Africa movement is, itself, a con, and the local Black Power movement is treated as an obstacle. Black cops really are the only force for justice here. Movie portrays Harlem itself as a warm, thriving, cultured community, but the people that make up that community are disloyal and easily fooled. Felt, to me, like the message was "just because they're cops doesn't mean they don't have Black soul," which, nowadays, we would call copaganda. But, then, do I know what I'm talking about? Do I know how much this played into or off of or against stereotypes from 1970? Was this a radical departure I don't have the context to appreciate? Is there substance I'm too white and too many decades removed to pick up on? Am I wildly overthinking this? I dunno. Seems like everyone involved was having a lot of fun, at least. That bit is contagious.

Across 110th Street And here's the other side of the "race film" equation. Another movie set in Harlem with a Black cop pulled between the police, the criminals, and the public, but this time the film is made by white people. I like it both more and less. Pro: this time the difficult position of Black cop who's treated with suspicion by both white cops and Black Harlemites is interrogated. Con: the Black cop has basically no personality other than "honest cop." Pro: the racism of the police force is explicit and systemic, as opposed to comically ineffectual. Con: the movie is shaped around a racist white cop who beats the shit out of Black people but slowly forms a bond with his Black partner. Pro: the Black criminal at the heart of the movie talks openly about how the white world has stacked the deck against him, and he's soulful and relateable. Con: so of course he dies in the end, because the only way privileged people know to sympathetize with minorities is to make them tragic (see also: The Boys in the Band, Philadelphia, and Brokeback Mountain for gay men). Additional con: this time Harlem is portrayed as a hellhole. Barely any of the community is even seen. At least the shot at the end, where the criminal realizes he's going to die and throws the bag of money off a roof and into a playground so the Black kids can pick it up before the cops reclaim it was powerful. But overall... yech. Cotton Comes to Harlem felt like it wasn't for me; this feels like it was 100% for me and I respect it less for that.

The Long Goodbye (rw) The shaggiest dog. Like much Altman, more compelling than good, but very compelling. Raymond Chandler's story is now set in the 1970's, but Philip Marlowe is the same Philip Marlowe of the 1930's. I get the sense there was always something inherently sad about Marlowe. Classic noir always portrayed its detectives as strong-willed men living on the border between the straightlaced world and its seedy underbelly, crossing back and forth freely but belonging to neither. But Chandler stresses the loneliness of it - or, at least, the people who've adapted Chandler do. Marlowe is a decent man in an indecent world, sorting things out, refusing to profit from misery, but unable to set anything truly right. Being a man out of step is here literalized by putting him forty years from the era where he belongs. His hardboiled internal monologue is now the incessant mutterings of the weird guy across the street who never stops smoking. Like I said: compelling! Kael's observation was spot on: everyone in the movie knows more about the mystery than he does, but he's the only one who cares. The mystery is pretty threadbare - Marlowe doesn't detect so much as end up in places and have people explain things to him. But I've seen it two or three times now, and it does linger.

Chinatown (rw) I confess I've always been impressed by Chinatown more than I've liked it. Its story structure is impeccable, its atmosphere is gorgeous, its noirish fatalism is raw and real, its deconstruction of the noir hero is well-observed, and it's full of clever detective tricks (the pocket watches, the tail light, the ruler). I've just never connected with it. Maybe it's a little too perfectly crafted. (I feel similar about Miller's Crossing.) And I've always been ambivalent about the ending. In Towne's original ending, Evelyn shoots Noah Cross dead and get arrested, and neither she nor Jake can tell the truth of why she did it, so she goes to jail for murder and her daughter is in the wind. Polansky proposed the ending that exists now, where Evelyn just dies, Cross wins, and Jake walks away devastated. It communicates the same thing: Jake's attempt to get smart and play all the sides off each other instead of just helping Evelyn escape blows up in his face at the expense of the woman he cares about and any sense of real justice. And it does this more dramatically and efficiently than Towne's original ending. But it also treats Evelyn as narratively disposable, and hands the daughter over to the man who raped Evelyn and murdered her husband. It makes the women suffer more to punch up the ending. But can I honestly say that Towne's ending is the better one? It is thematically equal, dramatically inferior, but would distract me less. Not sure what the calculus comes out to there. Maybe there should be a third option. Anyway! A perfect little contraption. Belongs under a glass dome.

Night Moves (rw) Ah yeah, the good shit. This is my quintessential 70's noir. This is three movies in a row about detectives. Thing is, the classic era wasn't as chockablock with hardboiled detectives as we think; most of those movies starred criminals, cops, and boring dudes seduced to the darkness by a pair of legs. Gumshoes just left the strongest impressions. (The genre is said to begin with Maltese Falcon and end with Touch of Evil, after all.) So when the post-Code 70's decided to pick the genre back up while picking it apart, it makes sense that they went for the 'tecs first. The Long Goodbye dragged the 30's detective into the 70's, and Chinatown went back to the 30's with a 70's sensibility. But Night Moves was about detecting in the Watergate era, and how that changed the archetype. Harry Moseby is the detective so obsessed with finding the truth that he might just ruin his life looking for it, like the straight story will somehow fix everything that's broken, like it'll bring back a murdered teenager and repair his marriage and give him a reason to forgive the woman who fucked him just to distract him from some smuggling. When he's got time to kill, he takes out a little, magnetic chess set and recreates a famous old game, where three knight moves (get it?) would have led to a beautiful checkmate had the player just seen it. He keeps going, self-destructing, because he can't stand the idea that the perfect move is there if he can just find it. And, no matter how much we see it destroy him, we, the audience, want him to keep going; we expect a satisfying resolution to the mystery. That's what we need from a detective picture; one character flat-out compares Harry to Sam Spade. But what if the truth is just... Watergate? Just some prick ruining things for selfish reasons? Nothing grand, nothing satisfying. Nothing could be more noir, or more neo-, than that.

Farewell, My Lovely Sometimes the only thing that makes a noir neo- is that it's in color and all the blood, tits, and racism from the books they're based on get put back in. This second stab at Chandler is competant but not much more than that. Mitchum works as Philip Marlowe, but Chandler's dialogue feels off here, like lines that worked on the page don't work aloud, even though they did when Bogie said them. I'll chalk it up to workmanlike but uninspired direction. (Dang this looks bland so soon after Chinatown.) Moose Malloy is a great character, and perfectly cast. (Wasn't sure at first, but it's true.) Some other interesting cats show up and vanish - the tough brothel madam based on Brenda Allen comes to mind, though she's treated with oddly more disdain than most of the other hoods and is dispatched quicker. In general, the more overt racism and misogyny doesn't seem to do anything except make the movie "edgier" than earlier attempts at the same material, and it reads kinda try-hard. But it mostly holds together. *shrug*

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (dnrw) Didn't care for this at all. Can't tell if the script was treated as a jumping-off point or if the dialogue is 100% improvised, but it just drags on forever and is never that interesting. Keeps treating us to scenes from the strip club like they're the opera scenes in Amadeus, and, whatever, I don't expect burlesque to be Mozart, but Cosmo keeps saying they're an artful, classy joint, and I keep waiting for the show to be more than cheap, lazy camp. How do you make gratuitious nudity boring? Mind you, none of this is bad as a rule - I love digressions and can enjoy good sleaze, and it's clear the filmmakers care about what they're making. They just did not sell it in a way I wanted to buy. Can't remember what edit I watched; I hope it was the 135 minute one, because I cannot imagine there being a longer edit out there.

The American Friend (dnrw) It's weird that this is Patricia Highsmith, right? That Dennis Hopper is playing Tom Ripley? In a cowboy hat? I gather that Minghella's version wasn't true to the source, but I do love that movie, and this is a long, long way from that. This Mr. Ripley isn't even particularly talented! Anyway, this has one really great sequence, where a regular guy has been coerced by crooks into murdering someone on a train platform, and, when the moment comes to shoot, he doesn't. And what follows is a prolonged sequence of an amateur trying to surreptitiously tail a guy across a train station and onto another train, and all the while you're not sure... is he going to do it? is he going to chicken out? is he going to do it so badly he gets caught? It's hard not to put yourself in the protagonist's shoes, wondering how you would handle the situation, whether you could do it, whether you could act on impulse before your conscience could catch up with you. It drags on a long while and this time it's a good thing. Didn't much like the rest of the movie, it's shapeless and often kind of corny, and the central plot hook is contrived. (It's also very weird that this is the only Wim Wenders I've seen.) But, hey, I got one excellent sequence, not gonna complain.

The Big Sleep Unlike the 1946 film, I can follow the plot of this Big Sleep. But, also unlike the 1946 version, this one isn't any damn fun. Mitchum is back as Marlowe (this is three Marlowes in five years, btw), and this time it's set in the 70's and in England, for some reason. I don't find this offensive, but neither do I see what it accomplishes? Most of the cast is still American. (Hi Jimmy!) Still holds together, but even less well than Farewell, My Lovely. But I do find it interesting that the neo-noir era keeps returning to Chandler while it's pretty much left Hammet behind (inasmuch as someone whose genes are spread wide through the whole genre can be left behind). Spade and the Continental Op, straightshooting tough guys who come out on top in the end, seem antiquated in the (post-)modern era. But Marlowe's goodness being out of sync with the world around him only seems more poignant the further you take him from his own time. Nowadays you can really only do Hammett as pastiche, but I sense that you could still play Chandler straight.

Eyes of Laura Mars The most De Palma movie I've seen not made by De Palma, complete with POV shots, paranormal hoodoo, and fixation with sex, death, and whether images of such are art or exploitation (or both). Laura Mars takes photographs of naked women in violent tableux, and has gotten quite famous doing so, but is it damaging to women? The movie has more than a superficial engagement with this topic, but only slightly more than superficial. Kept imagining a movie that is about 30% less serial killer story and 30% more art conversations. (But, then, I have an art degree and have never murdered anyone, so.) Like, museums are full of Biblical paintings full of nude women and slaughter, sometimes both at once, and they're called masterpieces. Most all of them were painted by men on commission from other men. Now Laura Mars makes similar images in modern trappings, and has models made of flesh and blood rather than paint, and it's scandalous? Why is it only controversial once women are getting paid for it? On the other hand, is this just the master's tools? Is she subverting or challenging the male gaze, or just profiting off of it? Or is a woman profiting off of it, itself, a subversion? Is it subversive enough to account for how it commodifies female bodies? These questions are pretty clearly relevant to the movie itself, and the movies in general, especially after the fall of the Hays Code when people were really unrestrained with the blood and boobies. And, heck, the lead is played by the star of Bonnie and Clyde! All this is to say: I wish the movie were as interested in these questions as I am. What's there is a mildly diverting B-picture. There's one great bit where Laura's seeing through the killer's eyes (that's the hook, she gets visions from the murderer's POV; no, this is never explained) and he's RIGHT BEHIND HER, so there's a chase where she charges across an empty room only able to see her own fleeing self from ten feet behind. That was pretty great! And her first kiss with the detective (because you could see a mile away that the detective and the woman he's supposed to protect are gonna fall in love) is immediately followed by the two freaking out about how nonsensical it is for them to fall in love with each other, because she's literally mourning multiple deaths and he's being wildly unprofessional, and then they go back to making out. That bit was great, too. The rest... enh.

The Onion Field What starts off as a seemingly not-that-noirish cops-vs-crooks procedural turns into an agonizingly protracted look at the legal system, with the ultimate argument that the very idea of the law ever resulting in justice is a lie. Hoo! I have to say, I'm impressed. There's a scene where a lawyer - whom I'm not sure is even named, he's like the seventh of thirteen we've met - literally quits the law over how long this court case about two guys shooting a cop has taken. He says the cop who was murdered has been forgotten, his partner has never gotten to move on because the case has lasted eight years, nothing has been accomplished, and they should let the two criminals walk and jail all the judges and lawyers instead. It's awesome! The script is loaded with digressions and unnecessary details, just the way I like it. Can't say I'm impressed with the execution. Nothing is wrong, exactly, but the performances all seem a tad melodramatic or a tad uninspired. Camerawork is, again, purely functional. It's no masterpiece. But that second half worked for me. (And it's Ted Danson's first movie! He did great.)

Body Heat (rw) Let's say up front that this is a handsomely-made movie. Probably the best looking thing on the list since Night Moves. Nothing I've seen better captures the swelter of an East Coast heatwave, or the lusty feeling of being too hot to bang and going at it regardless. Kathleen Turner sells the hell out of a femme fatale. There are a lot of good lines and good performances (Ted Danson is back and having the time of his life). I want to get all that out of the way, because this is a movie heavily modeled after Double Indemnity, and I wanted to discuss its merits before I get into why inviting that comparison doesn't help the movie out. In a lot of ways, it's the same rules as the Robert Mitchum Marlowe movies - do Double Indemnity but amp up the sex and violence. And, to a degree it works. (At least, the sex does, dunno that Double Indemnity was crying out for explosions.) But the plot is amped as well, and gets downright silly. Yeah, Mrs. Dietrichson seduces Walter Neff so he'll off her husband, but Neff clocks that pretty early and goes along with it anyway. Everything beyond that is two people keeping too big a secret and slowly turning on each other. But here? For the twists to work Matty has to be, from frame one, playing four-dimensional chess on the order of Senator Palpatine, and its about as plausible. (Exactly how did she know, after she rebuffed Ned, he would figure out her local bar and go looking for her at the exact hour she was there?) It's already kind of weird to be using the spider woman trope in 1981, but to make her MORE sexually conniving and mercenary than she was in the 40's is... not great. As lurid trash, it's pretty fun for a while, but some noir stuff can't just be updated, it needs to be subverted or it doesn't justify its existence.

Blow Out Brian De Palma has two categories of movie: he's got his mainstream, director-for-hire fare, where his voice is either reigned in or indulged in isolated sequences that don't always jive with the rest fo the film, and then there's his Brian De Palma movies. My mistake, it seems, is having seen several for-hires from throughout his career - The Untouchables (fine enough), Carlito's Way (ditto, but less), Mission: Impossible (enh) - but had only seen De Palma-ass movies from his late period (Femme Fatale and The Black Dahlia, both of which I think are garbage). All this to say: Blow Out was my first classic-era De Palma, and holy fucking shit dudes. This was (with caveats) my absolute and entire jam. I said I could enjoy good sleaze, and this is good friggin' sleaze. (Though far short of De Palma at his sleaziest, mercifully.) The splitscreens, the diopter shots, the canted angles, how does he make so many shlocky things work?! John Travolta's sound tech goes out to get fresh wind fx for the movie he's working on, and we get this wonderful sequence of visuals following sounds as he turns his attention and his microphone to various noises - a couple on a walk, a frog, an owl, a buzzing street lamp. Later, as he listens back to the footage, the same sequence plays again, but this time from his POV; we're seeing his memory as guided by the same sequence of sounds, now recreated with different shots, as he moves his pencil in the air mimicking the microphone. When he mixes and edits sounds, we hear the literal soundtrack of the movie we are watching get mixed and edited by the person on screen. And as he tries to unravel a murder mystery, he uses what's at hand: magnetic tape, flatbed editors, an animation camera to turn still photos from the crime scene into a film and sync it with the audio he recorded; it's forensics using only the tools of the editing room. As someone who's spent some time in college editing rooms, this is a hoot and a half. Loses a bit of steam as it goes on and the film nerd stuff gives way to a more traditional thriller, but rallies for a sound-tech-centered final setpiece, which steadily builds to such madcap heights you can feel the air thinning, before oddly cutting its own tension and then trying to build it back up again. It doesn't work as well the second time. But then, that shot right after the climax? Damn. Conflicted on how the movie treats the female lead. I get why feminist film theorists are so divided on De Palma. His stuff is full of things feminists (rightly) criticize, full of women getting naked when they're not getting stabbed, but he also clearly finds women fascinating and has them do empowered and unexpected things, and there are many feminist reads of his movies. Call it a mixed bag. But even when he's doing tropey shit, he explores the tropes in unexpected ways. Definitely the best movie so far that I hadn't already seen.

Cutter's Way (rw) Alex Cutter is pitched to us as an obnoxious-but-sympathetic son of a bitch, and, you know, two out of three ain't bad. Watched this during my 2020 neo-noir kick and considered skipping it this time because I really didn't enjoy it. Found it a little more compelling this go around, while being reminded of why my feelings were room temp before. Thematically, I'm onboard: it's about a guy, Cutter, getting it in his head that he's found a murderer and needs to bring him to justice, and his friend, Bone, who intermittently helps him because he feels bad that Cutter lost his arm, leg, and eye in Nam and he also feels guilty for being in love with Cutter's wife. The question of whether the guy they're trying to bring down actually did it is intentionally undefined, and arguably unimportant; they've got personal reasons to see this through. Postmodern and noirish, fixated with the inability to ever fully know the truth of anything, but starring people so broken by society that they're desperate for certainty. (Pretty obvious parallels to Vietnam.) Cutter's a drunk and kind of an asshole, but understandably so. Bone's shiftlessness is the other response to a lack of meaning in the world, to the point where making a decision, any decision, feels like character growth, even if it's maybe killing a guy whose guilt is entirely theoretical. So, yeah, I'm down with all of this! A- in outline form. It's just that Cutter is so uninterestingly unpleasant and no one else on screen is compelling enough to make up for it. His drunken windups are tedious and his sanctimonious speeches about what the war was like are, well, true and accurate but also obviously manipulative. It's two hours with two miserable people, and I think Cutter's constant chatter is supposed to be the comic relief but it's a little too accurate to drunken rambling, which isn't funny if you're not also drunk. He's just tedious, irritating, and periodically racist. Pass.

Blood Simple (rw) I'm pretty cool on the Coens - there are things I've liked, even loved, in every Coen film I've seen, but I always come away dissatisfied. For a while, I kept going to their movies because I was sure eventually I'd love one without qualification. No Country for Old Men came close, the first two acts being master classes in sustained tension. But then the third act is all about denying closure: the protagonist is murdered offscreen, the villain's motives are never explained, and it ends with an existentialist speech about the unfathomable cruelty of the world. And it just doesn't land for me. The archness of the Coen's dialogue, the fussiness of their set design, the kinda-intimate, kinda-awkward, kinda-funny closeness of the camera's singles, it cannot sell me on a devastating meditation about meaninglessness. It's only ever sold me on the Coens' own cleverness. And that archness, that distancing, has typified every one of their movies I've come close to loving. Which is a long-ass preamble to saying, holy heck, I was not prepared for their very first movie to be the one I'd been looking for! I watched it last year and it remains true on rewatch: Blood Simple works like gangbusters. It's kind of Double Indemnity (again) but played as a comedy of errors, minus the comedy: two people romantically involved feeling their trust unravel after a murder. And I think the first thing that works for me is that utter lack of comedy. It's loaded with the Coens' trademark ironies - mostly dramatic in this case - but it's all played straight. Unlike the usual lead/femme fatale relationship, where distrust brews as the movie goes on, the audience knows the two main characters can trust each other. There are no secret duplicitous motives waiting to be revealed. The audience also know why they don't trust each other. (And it's all communicated wordlessly, btw: a character enters a scene and we know, based on the information that character has, how it looks to them and what suspicions it would arouse, even as we know the truth of it). The second thing that works is, weirdly, that the characters aren't very interesting?! Ray and Abby have almost no characterization. Outside of a general likability, they are blank slates. This is a weakness in most films, but, given the agonizingly long, wordless sequences where they dispose of bodies or hide from gunfire, you're left thinking not "what will Ray/Abby do in this scenario," because Ray and Abby are relatively elemental and undefined, but "what would I do in this scenario?" Which creates an exquisite tension but also, weirdly, creates more empathy than I feel for the Coens' usual cast of personalities. It's supposed to work the other way around! Truly enjoyable throughout but absolutely wonderful in the suspenseful-as-hell climax. Good shit right here.

Body Double The thing about erotic thrillers is everything that matters is in the name. Is it thrilling? Is it erotic? Good; all else is secondary. De Palma set out to make the most lurid, voyeuristic, horny, violent, shocking, steamy movie he could come up with, and its success was not strictly dependent on the lead's acting ability or the verisimilitude of the plot. But what are we, the modern audience, to make of it once 37 years have passed and, by today's standards, the eroticism is quite tame and the twists are no longer shocking? Then we're left with a nonsensical riff on Vertigo, a specularization of women that is very hard to justify, and lead actor made of pulped wood. De Palma's obsessions don't cohere into anything more this time; the bits stolen from Hitchcock aren't repurposed to new ends, it really is just Hitch with more tits and less brains. (I mean, I still haven't seen Vertigo, but I feel 100% confident in that statement.) The diopter shots and rear-projections this time look cheap (literally so, apparently; this had 1/3 the budget of Blow Out). There are some mildly interesting setpieces, but nothing compared to Travolta's auditory reconstructions or car chase where he tries to tail a subway train from street level even if it means driving through a frickin parade like an inverted French Connection, goddamn Blow Out was a good movie! Anyway. Melanie Griffith seems to be having fun, at least. I guess I had a little as well, but it was, at best, diverting, and a real letdown.

The Hit Surprised by how much I enjoyed this one. Terrance Stamp flips on the mob and spends ten years living a life of ease in Spain, waiting for the day they find and kill him. Movie kicks off when they do find him, and what follows is a ramshackle road movie as John Hurt and a young Tim Roth attempt to drive him to Paris so they can shoot him in front of his old boss. Stamp is magnetic. He's spent a decade reading philosophy and seems utterly prepared for death, so he spends the trip humming, philosophizing, and being friendly with his captors when he's not winding them up. It remains unclear to the end whether the discord he sews between Roth and Hurt is part of some larger plan of escape or just for shits and giggles. There's also a decent amount of plot for a movie that's not terribly plot-driven - just about every part of the kidnapping has tiny hitches the kidnappers aren't prepared for, and each has film-long repercussions, drawing the cops closer and somehow sticking Laura del Sol in their backseat. The ongoing questions are when Stamp will die, whether del Sol will die, and whether Roth will be able to pull the trigger. In the end, it's actually a meditation on ethics and mortality, but in a quiet and often funny way. It's not going to go down as one of my new favs, but it was a nice way to spend a couple hours.

Trouble in Mind (dnrw) I fucking hated this movie. It's been many months since I watched it, do I remember what I hated most? Was it the bit where a couple of country bumpkins who've come to the city walk into a diner and Mr. Bumpkin clocks that the one Black guy in the back as obviously a criminal despite never having seen him before? Was it the part where Kris Kristofferson won't stop hounding Mrs. Bumpkin no matter how many times she demands to be left alone, and it's played as romantic because obviously he knows what she needs better than she does? Or is it the part where Mr. Bumpkin reluctantly takes a job from the Obvious Criminal (who is, in fact, a criminal, and the only named Black character in the movie if I remember correctly, draw your own conclusions) and, within a week, has become a full-blown hood, which is exemplified by a lot, like, a lot of queer-coding? The answer to all three questions is yes. It's also fucking boring. Even out-of-drag Divine's performance as the villain can't save it.

Manhunter 'sfine? I've still never seen Silence of the Lambs, nor any of the Hopkins Lecter movies, nor, indeed, any full episode of the show. So the unheimlich others get seeing Brian Cox play Hannibal didn't come into play. Cox does a good job with him, but he's barely there. Shame, cuz he's the most interesting part of the movie. Honestly, there's a lot of interesting stuff that's barely there. Will Graham being a guy who gets into the heads of serial killers is explored well enough, and Mann knows how to direct a police procedural such that it's both contemplative and propulsive. But all the other themes it points at? Will's fear that he understands murderers a little too well? Hannibal trying to nudge him towards becoming one? Whatever dance Hannibal and Tooth Fairy are doing? What Tooth Fairy's deal is, anyway? (Why does he wear fake teeth and bite things? Why is he fixated on the red dragon? Does the bit where he says "Francis is gone forever" mean he has DID?) None of it goes anywhere or amounts to anything. I mean, it's certainly more interesting with this stuff than without, but it has that feel of a book that's been pared of its interesting bits to fit the runtime (or, alternately, pulp that's been sloppily elevated). I still haven't made my mind up on Mann's cold, precise camera work, but at least it gives me something to look at. It's fine! This is fine.

Mona Lisa (rw) Gave this one another shot. Bob Hoskins is wonderful as a hood out of his depth in classy places, quick to anger but just as quick to let anger go (the opening sequence where he's screaming on his ex-wife's doorstep, hurling trash cans at her house, and one minute later thrilled to see his old car, is pretty nice). And Cathy Tyson's working girl is a subtler kind of fascinating, exuding a mixture of coldness and kindness. It's just... this is ultimately a story about how heartbreaking it is when the girl you like is gay, right? It's Weezer's Pink Triangle: The Movie. It's not homophobic, exactly - Simone isn't demonized for being a lesbian - but it's still, like, "man, this straight white guy's pain is so much more interesting than the Black queer sex worker's." And when he's yelling "you woulda done it!" at the end, I can't tell if we're supposed to agree with him. Seems pretty clear that she wouldn'ta done it, at least not without there being some reveal about her character that doesn't happen, but I don't think the ending works if we don't agree with him, so... I'm like 70% sure the movie does Simone dirty there. For the first half, their growing relationship feels genuine and natural, and, honestly, the story being about a real bond that unfortunately means different things to each party could work if it didn't end with a gun and a sock in the jaw. Shape feels jagged as well; what feels like the end of the second act or so turns out to be the climax. And some of the symbolism is... well, ok, Simone gives George money to buy more appropriate clothes for hanging out in high end hotels, and he gets a tan leather jacket and a Hawaiian shirt, and their first proper bonding moment is when she takes him out for actual clothes. For the rest of the movie he is rocking double-breasted suits (not sure I agree with the striped tie, but it was the eighties, whaddya gonna do?). Then, in the second half, she sends him off looking for her old streetwalker friend, and now he looks completely out of place in the strip clubs and bordellos. So far so good. But then they have this run-in where her old pimp pulls a knife and cuts George's arm, so, with his nice shirt torn and it not safe going home (I guess?) he starts wearing the Hawaiian shirt again. So around the time he's starting to realize he doesn't really belong in Simone's world or the lowlife world he came from anymore, he's running around with the classy double-breasted suit jacket over the garish Hawaiian shirt, and, yeah, bit on the nose guys. Anyway, it has good bits, I just feel like a movie that asks me to feel for the guy punching a gay, Black woman in the face needs to work harder to earn it. Bit of wasted talent.

The Bedroom Window Starts well. Man starts an affair with his boss' wife, their first night together she witnesses an attempted murder from his window, she worries going to the police will reveal the affair to her husband, so the man reports her testimony to the cops claiming he's the one who saw it. Young Isabelle Huppert is the perfect woman for a guy to risk his career on a crush over, and Young Steve Guttenberg is the perfect balance of affability and amorality. And it flows great - picks just the right media to res. So then he's talking to the cops, telling them what she told him, and they ask questions he forgot to ask her - was the perp's jacket a blazer or a windbreaker? - and he has to guess. Then he gets called into the police lineup, and one guy matches her description really well, but is it just because he's wearing his red hair the way she described it? He can't be sure, doesn't finger any of them. He finds out the cops were pretty certain about one of the guys, so he follows the one he thinks it was around, looking for more evidence, and another girl is attacked right outside a bar he knows the redhead was at. Now he's certain! But he shows the boss' wife the guy and she's not certain, and she reminds him they don't even know if the guy he followed is the same guy the police suspected! And as he feeds more evidence to the cops, he has to lie more, because he can't exactly say he was tailing the guy around the city. So, I'm all in now. Maybe it's because I'd so recently rewatched Night Moves and Cutter's Way, but this seems like another story about uncertainty. He's really certain about the guy because it fits narratively, and we, the audience, feel the same. But he's not actually a witness, he doesn't have actual evidence, he's fitting bits and pieces together like a conspiracy theorist. He's fixating on what he wants to be true. Sign me up! But then it turns out he's 100% correct about who the killer is but his lies are found out and now the cops think he's the killer and I realize, oh, no, this movie isn't nearly as smart as I thought it was. Egg on my face! What transpires for the remaining half of the runtime is goofy as hell, and someone with shlockier sensibilities could have made a meal of it, but Hanson, despite being a Corman protege, takes this silliness seriously in the all wrong ways. Next!

Homicide (rw? I think I saw most of this on TV one time) Homicide centers around the conflicted loyalties of a Jewish cop. It opens with the Jewish cop and his white gentile partner taking over a case with a Black perp from some Black FBI agents. The media is making a big thing about the racial implications of the mostly white cops chasing down a Black man in a Black neighborhood. And inside of 15 minutes the FBI agent is calling the lead a k*ke and the gentile cop is calling the FBI agent a f****t and there's all kinds of invective for Black people. The film is announcing its intentions out the gate: this movie is about race. But the issue here is David Mamet doesn't care about race as anything other than a dramatic device. He's the Ubisoft of filmmakers, having no coherent perspective on social issues but expecting accolades for even bringing them up. Mamet is Jewish (though lead actor Joe Mantegna definitely is not) but what is his position on the Jewish diaspora? The whole deal is Mantegna gets stuck with a petty homicide case instead of the big one they just pinched from the Feds, where a Jewish candy shop owner gets shot in what looks like a stickup. Her family tries to appeal to his Jewishness to get him to take the case seriously, and, after giving them the brush-off for a long time, finally starts following through out of guilt, finding bits and pieces of what may or may not be a conspiracy, with Zionist gun runners and underground neo-Nazis. But, again: all of these are just dramatic devices. Mantegna's Jewishness (those words will never not sound ridiculous together) has always been a liability for him as a cop (we are told, not shown), and taking the case seriously is a reclamation of identity. The Jews he finds community with sold tommyguns to revolutionaries during the founding of Israel. These Jews end up blackmailing him to get a document from the evidence room. So: what is the film's position on placing stock in one's Jewish identity? What is its position on Israel? What is its opinion on Palestine? Because all three come up! And the answer is: Mamet doesn't care. You can read it a lot of different ways. Someone with more context and more patience than me could probably deduce what the de facto message is, the way Chris Franklin deduced the de facto message of Far Cry V despite the game's efforts not to have one, but I'm not going to. Mantegna's attempt to reconnect with his Jewishness gets his partner killed, gets the guy he was supposed to bring in alive shot dead, gets him possibly permanent injuries, gets him on camera blowing up a store that's a front for white nationalists, and all for nothing because the "clues" he found (pretty much exclusively by coincidence) were unconnected nothings. The problem is either his Jewishness, or his lifelong failure to connect with his Jewishness until late in life. Mamet doesn't give a shit. (Like, Mamet canonically doesn't give a shit: he is on record saying social context is meaningless, characters only exist to serve the plot, and there are no deeper meanings in fiction.) Mamet's ping-pong dialogue is fun, as always, and there are some neat ideas and characters, but it's all in service of a big nothing that needed to be a something to work.

Swoon So much I could talk about, let's keep it to the most interesting bits. Hommes Fatales: a thing about classic noir that it was fascinated by the marginal but had to keep it in the margins. Liberated women, queer-coded killers, Black jazz players, broke thieves; they were the main event, they were what audiences wanted to see, they were what made the movies fun. But the ending always had to reassert straightlaced straight, white, middle-class male society as unshakeable. White supremacist capitalist patriarchy demanded, both ideologically and via the Hays Code, that anyone outside these norms be punished, reformed, or dead by the movie's end. The only way to make them the heroes was to play their deaths for tragedy. It is unsurprising that neo-noir would take the queer-coded villains and make them the protagonists. Implicature: This is the story of Leopold and Loeb, murderers famous for being queer, and what's interesting is how the queerness in the first half exists entirely outside of language. Like, it's kind of amazing for a movie from 1992 to be this gay - we watch Nathan and Dickie kiss, undress, masturbate, fuck; hell, they wear wedding rings when they're alone together. But it's never verbalized. Sex is referred to as "your reward" or "what you wanted" or "best time." Dickie says he's going to have "the girls over," and it turns out "the girls" are a bunch of drag queens, but this is never acknowledged. Nathan at one point lists off a bunch of famous men - Oscar Wild, E.M. Forster, Frederick the Great - but, though the commonality between them is obvious (they were all gay), it's left the the audience to recognize it. When their queerness is finally verbalized in the second half, it's first in the language of pathology - a psychiatrist describing their "perversions" and "misuse" of their "organs" before the court, which has to be cleared of women because it's so inappropriate - and then with slurs from the man who murders Dickie in jail (a murder which is written off with no investigation because the victim is a gay prisoner instead of a L&L's victim, a child of a wealthy family). I don't know if I'd have noticed this if I hadn't read Chip Delany describing his experience as a gay man in the 50's existing almost entirely outside of language, the only language at the time being that of heteronormativity. Murder as Love Story: L&L exchange sex as payment for the other commiting crimes; it's foreplay. Their statements to the police where they disagree over who's to blame is a lover's quarrel. Their sentencing is a marriage. Nathan performs his own funeral rites over Dickie's body after he dies on the operating table. They are, in their way, together til death did they part. This is the relationship they can have. That it does all this without romanticizing the murder itself or valorizing L&L as humans is frankly incredible.

Suture (rw) The pitch: at the funeral for his father, wealthy Vincent Towers meets his long lost half brother Clay Arlington. It is implied Clay is a child from out of wedlock, possibly an affair; no one knows Vincent has a half-brother but him and Clay. Vincent invites Clay out to his fancy-ass home in Arizona. Thing is, Vincent is suspected (correctly) by the police of having murdered his father, and, due to a striking family resemblence, he's brought Clay to his home to fake his own death. He finagles Clay into wearing his clothes and driving his car, and then blows the car up and flees the state, leaving the cops to think him dead. Thing is, Clay survives, but with amnesia. The doctors tell him he's Vincent, and he has no reason to disagree. Any discrepancy in the way he looks is dismissed as the result of reconstructive surgery after the explosion. So Clay Arlington resumes Vincent Towers' life, without knowing Clay Arlington even exists. The twist: Clay and Vincent are both white, but Vincent is played by Michael Harris, a white actor, and Clay is played by Dennis Haysbert, a Black actor. "Ian, if there's just the two of them, how do you know it's not Harris playing a Black character?" Glad you asked! It is most explicitly obvious during a scene where Vincent/Clay's surgeon-cum-girlfriend essentially bringing up phrenology to explain how Vincent/Clay couldn't possibly have murdered his father, describing straight hair, thin lips, and a Greco-Roman nose Haysbert very clearly doesn't have. But, let's be honest: we knew well beforehand that the rich-as-fuck asshole living in a huge, modern house and living it up in Arizona high society was white. Though Clay is, canonically, white, he lives an poor and underprivileged life common to Black men in America. Though the film's title officially refers to the many stitches holding Vincent/Clay's face together after the accident, "suture" is a film theory term, referring to the way a film audience gets wrapped up - sutured - in the world of the movie, choosing to forget the outside world and pretend the story is real. The usage is ironic, because the audience cannot be sutured in; we cannot, and are not expected to, suspend our disbelief that Clay is white. We are deliberately distanced. Consequently this is a movie to be thought about, not to to be felt. It has the shape of a Hitchcockian thriller but it can't evoke the emotions of one. You can see the scaffolding - "ah, yes, this is the part of a thriller where one man hides while another stalks him with a gun, clever." I feel ill-suited to comment on what the filmmakers are saying about race. I could venture a guess about the ending, where the psychiatrist, the only one who knows the truth about Clay, says he can never truly be happy living the lie of being Vincent Towers, while we see photographs of Clay/Vincent seemingly living an extremely happy life: society says white men simply belong at the top more than Black men do, but, if the roles could be reversed, the latter would slot in seamlessly. Maybe??? Of all the movies in this collection, this is the one I'd most want to read an essay on (followed by Swoon).

The Last Seduction (dnrw) No, no, no, I am not rewataching this piece of shit movie.

Brick (rw) Here's my weird contention: Brick is in color and in widescreen, but, besides that? There's nothing neo- about this noir. There's no swearing except "hell." (I always thought Tug said "goddamn" at one point but, no, he's calling The Pin "gothed-up.") There's a lot of discussion of sex, but always through implication, and the only deleted scene is the one that removed ambiguity about what Brendan and Laura get up to after kissing. There's nothing postmodern or subversive - yes, the hook is it's set in high school, but the big twist is that it takes this very seriously. It mines it for jokes, yes, but the drama is authentic. In fact, making the gumshoe a high school student, his jadedness an obvious front, still too young to be as hard as he tries to be, just makes the drama hit harder. Sam Spade if Sam Spade were allowed to cry. I've always found it an interesting counterpoint to The Good German, a movie that fastidiously mimics the aesthetics of classic noir - down to even using period-appropriate sound recording - but is wholly neo- in construction. Brick could get approved by the Hays Code. Its vibe, its plot about a detective playing a bunch of criminals against each other, even its slang ("bulls," "yegg," "flopped") are all taken directly from Hammett. It's not even stealing from noir, it's stealing from what noir stole from! It's a perfect curtain call for the collection: the final film is both the most contemporary and the most classic. It's also - but for the strong case you could make for Night Moves - the best movie on the list. It's even more appropriate for me, personally: this was where it all started for me and noir. I saw this in theaters when it came out and loved it. It was probably my favorite movie for some time. It gave me a taste for pulpy crime movies which I only, years later, realized were neo-noir. This is why I looked into Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and In Bruges. I've seen it more times than any film on this list, by a factor of at least 3. It's why I will always adore Rian Johnson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's the best-looking half-million-dollar movie I've ever seen. (Indie filmmakers, take fucking notes.) I even did a script analysis of this, and, yes, it follows the formula, but so tightly and with so much style. Did you notice that he says several of the sequence tensions out loud? ("I just want to find her." "Show of hands.") I notice new things each time I see it - this time it was how "brushing Brendan's hair out of his face" is Em's move, making him look more like he does in the flashback, and how Laura does the same to him as she's seducing him, in the moment when he misses Em the hardest. It isn't perfect. It's recreated noir so faithfully that the Innocent Girl dies, the Femme Fatale uses intimacy as a weapon, and none of the women ever appear in a scene together. 1940's gender politics maybe don't need to be revisited. They say be critical of the media you love, and it applies here most of all: it is a real criticism of something I love immensely.

[thrill-seeker-vn]

SPOILERS: LONG THEORY INCOMING

I think N is the thrill Seeker. On the Prologue the narrator mentions that theyve now pushed their dissatisfaction onto the wrong person caused by people looking down on them. There was an ask mentioning that N wouldn't judge the MC based on first impressions and that they'd want an honest and up front MC. I think in one of the asks you mentioned that this was because theyve dealt with a lot of bs from people and they don't want to go through that again (please correct me if it's incorrect). I'm assuming this has given them kind of a heart time truly letting people in to see their true self. In the Prologue it mentions that trusting the wrong person can be deadly, maybe it could have something to do with the past. Perhaps MC's mum might not have been a direct cause of N's frustration, but merely an outlet for them to take it out on, as the intro mentions they've pushed the satisfaction onto the wrong person. In the intro page it also mentions that it was the MC's mum kind of convinced them to do what they're doing now or something like that if I recall correctly, so they have a previously established relationship to the victim. They also work in medicine so it would obviously be easier for them in comparison to the other ROs to conceal a weapon. You mentioned in one of your posts that if you studied nursing you could get to know the weapon used a lot faster. Perhaps it was a surgical weapon? Which N would have direct access to. In the Prologue I remember it mentioning that a smile was drawn on the face. Maybe a surgical scalpel was used. In the Talking about the smile, the smile in the Prologue the killers smile is twisted and sharp, laughing away at their fleeting insanity. I remember in the intro you mentioned something about N having a sharp edge to their smile, was that a hint perhaps? In the Intro for N's RO page it mentions that they never had calves before going to clown school, but all of a sudden they now have nice calves and don't want to talk about it and that they've worked on themselves. This is probably far fetched as fuck, I mean this entire theory is but it seems to be kind of implying that they've taken control of their lives once and for all and in the Prologue the narrators inner monologue mentions the twisted feeling they feel as they are murdering the victim, as they feel the thrill, it makes them feel in control, the need for control and their fear of the people who've looked down of them being right slowly chipping away at their sanity. In the mention of control they're a model, with confidence and good attitude, they have excellent control of their emotions, naturally being to charm anyone and befriend them. Having watched a bunch of crime documentaries a lot of the time the killers were the people closest to the victim or those that were least expected to have killed the victim. A lot of them, similarly to N are naturally charming and seem friendly on the outside, but you never know the depths of darkness that their minds plunge into. They may seem to have the perfect live now, but the shadows of the past still haunt them like a clock constantly ticking at the back of their mind. I found the fact that they also have their playlist all under one list in an easy place where they can see them, it's a small detail but idk. In the intro it also says that they are terrible at video games but love to play them. Could it be because of the thrill perhaps of it all kind of like the killer in the Prologue after killing feeling the thrill of the game of power that they now have in their hands. Its 3 in the morning and sleep deprived and I'm meant to be writing an essay, but I'm hyper fixating on writing this instead because I couldn't stop thinking about it nfdjdj. Anyways sorry for the length of this but yeah. This game is way to good,you have me second guessing myself every 10 seconds as to who's the killer. 😩💗

Omg!!! This is actually such a good theory??? And many of the plot points you include are actually so relevant to what actually happens in N’s arc!! Im so blown away by how well this is pieced together!!

And you’ve definitely drawn out my parallels and inconsistencies, with many good points made about N’s personality. And I’m so impressed how you drew it back to the prologue, I’m genuinely amazed you found that angle!!

I’m really trying to see how much I can say without spoiling it GVYBUBUNINI but I think I can tell you some clues to help guide you in the direction.

One thing I’m adding to the game and am currently coding into twine is the your mental instability effects the stability of the other characters— take it how you will. I cannot tell you whether or not N is the killer, but, in as specific a way as I CAN tell you, just because they’re not doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t be. The clown thing was kind of a joke and a throwaway but everything else is very valid and important points for N and their character arc.

One more thing is that each character, in their own way, is also a thrill seeker. Oil is afraid of change, but has always longed to leave this city and try something new. Hannie has felt trapped all their life, and is waiting for the chance to actually be able to open up or do something THEY want. N wants to be liked, and they’ll do anything for the feeling of being wanted. They like to believe they’re smarter now after all that’s happened to them, but there is a part of them that is afraid they’ll fall into old habits again. However, your theory is still INCREDIBLE, and honestly such a good read. You are really piecing the clues I’m putting here and there together REALLY WELL.

Also, don’t apologize for the length at all— I’ll have you know I read this in my bed smiling like a school girl. And I’m so, so happy you enjoy thrill seeker, this was such a thrill to read!! I hope you do well on the essay and that you can have a wonderful sleep, bc I know I’m going to sleep with a smile on my face thinking about this INDINDINIDBU

I hope you’re having an incredible night!!! Thank you for the wonderful theory, Anon💗💗💗

[danganfan103]

Danganronpa: Dead Humanity

Can you imagine not knowing your identity? Being in a world where the concept of you doesn't exist? This is the reality of Ryo, who can't remember his surname or talent. He meets many other eccentric people called Ultimates, 17 others to be exact. Some notable faces are Akira Mari, the Ultimate Game Developer who he bonds with surprisingly quickly, and Tahiro Arezki, who seems to not want to admit their talent either... But that's not important right now! Currently Ryo and the other ultimates are stuck in a killing game (pretty sure it's Hope's Peak Academy) with best bear Upupupu of 2022, Monokuma! Will Ryo live, will Ryo die in the last chapter cause I doubt he will any earlier and he gives off some sketchy vibes so last chapter death makes sense? Read Danganronpa: Dead Humanity to find out!

...

Read this now or Kara and Taima will come for your ankles. Actually no, Kara would stab your shins while Taima would chew off your ankles. There's a difference. But if you need more convincing (stay back Kara, now is not the time to stab shins), here's some reasoning as to why. First of all, the story. OH MY GOD THIS HAS SO MUCH STORY! I'm not going to spoil but instead of the mainline Danganronpa series where Despair Princess comes out of no where and screams at you the plot, you slowly learn about the plot due to a certain character. Second of all, the characters feel like they get development. These characters are eccentric of course but they feel realer in a way. Many of them have some sort of trauma that has shaped them in different ways. And with the killing game, it affects them in different ways. It's really interesting in my opinion and I like seeing this in fictional characters because many people have trauma. One last reason is the art. I love that this fangan has many CGs! Not pushing down fangans that don't but I find it really cool how they have so many CGs!

Spoilers and Predictions

Man I wish Hatsu died instead of Taima. Look, I'm sorry, I know this fits for Taima, but Hatsu's the only character I don't really like. I like everyone else though. In fact, you can see my thoughts and not my predictions since idk how many chapters there'll be (I swear I saw somewhere that there'd be 9 but idk where) about each one of them below.

Ryo: I really like Ryo! I love that in (Chapter 3, right?) he broke and almost stabbed Tahiro. It's really interesting to have a protagonist snap instead of obsessing about hope. Along with that, we have the added mystery of his identity! I think he'sa great protagonist but at the same time, I can't trust him. I feel like he has something to do with this game. Like, he wasn't supposed to be there, he's forgotten his identity, his friend was a friend with the Ultimate Scientist. I can't wait to find out how he plays into this!

Tahiro: I like Tahiro as a character! I'm a sucker for a good redemption arc and I love his. It's fun to see how he's growing from Modoro's and Suzaku's deaths. However, I have a feeling he has something to do with this game as well. Maybe he lost his eye as a result? After all, you don't get Ultimate Survivor for no reason. I don't think he's the traitor or mastermind but he had to have been on the run for a reason. He definitely has something to do with this.

Kagamiko: You. You are my favorite by far! I love Kagamiko! I love her story of learning that even if she's depressed, she should try to continue on for those who've died. I really like this message I think it's a really good one for those who are going through grief and those who can't think of a reason to survive.

Hatsu: She is for some reason my least favorite and I have no clue as to why. I think I just like everyone else more. She feels too nice. She's 100% going to kill someone. However, I don't hate her! Just my least favorite. Eh, I'm gonna watch SHSL Blaze's Danganronpa Dead Humanity streams soon to go over on how I feel about her (I edited this cause I originally felt like I was being too harsh to Hatsu and I don't want to criticize Jupiter for free work)

Yasuki: Okay, I love Yasuki as much as the next guy and I'm glad they're here, but I have this feeling that they're the traitor. Think about it. They don't have as much plot relevance or really anyone to survive for. They just feel suspicious. Because of this, I think Yasuki is one of the traitors. I love them though! I really like paranoid characters in killing games. Their reactions are usually a highlight for me.

Felix: Pretty funny character. He's both fucking hilarious and how he plays into the game. I can always get a good laugh out of them but I always wander what they know. I'd go on but I don't know how. I want to know how they play into this game besides being friends with the Ultimate Scientist but I am too stupid to figure out how.

Sam: Same thing as Felix. Sam is pretty funny to me which is something that I especially value in a character. But I'm pretty sure she's the mastermind. Like, she was friends with Nicolas, who seems to have been a traitor. Plus, there must have been a reason as to why Akira originally targeted her. Plus, it would be ironic to have the Ultimate Puppeteer be the Mastermind.

Asao: Man I love Asao! I like the silent type's in media but I truly feel like he's been developing since Kara's death. I don't really have that much else to say about him sorry.

(sorry for how lackluster the character reviews were but I had no clue on what else to do...)

[blazehedgehog]

With the recent EGX demo and the reception it's got from fans and critics, do you think there's reason to worry, at least for the Switch version and, since I can't think of a way to put it nicely, has the overly defensive tone some fans taken towards critics who've played the game, or even criticized it, been just or unjust? I know Sonic has this maligned reputation with game journos, but it's not like every person who's been critical are haters looking to take Sonic down.

I think a lot of Sonic fans wear some very deep scars. Many have stuck it out through some pretty dark times, myself included. You learn to put up some pretty strong defenses. You make it easy for yourself to dismiss opinions that don’t line up with what you want of expect. “IGN never knew what they were talking about, so why trust what they have to say about Sonic?”

Plus, there’s a very weird growing distrust of games media right now. It started with Gamergate, I guess. It goes without saying, but GG was an awful hate group actively centered around misogyny (or worse), and it’s a shame how many people did not realize that immediately. But that’s the thing: GG tapped into something that was also real. It did so purely by accident; under the surface, Gamergate was nothing more than an ex-boyfriend getting revenge for being slighted by his lover, and it snowballed out of control into something some are calling the new culture wars, and we’re still feeling its effects today.

But part of the reason GG originally gained momentum in the first place is because there’s an underlying distrust of any and every major games media outlet. Kotaku sucks, Polygon sucks, Destructoid sucks, Giantbomb sucks, GameSpot sucks, IGN sucks, Game Informer sucks, CVG sucks, Famitsu sucks, EGM sucked, 1UP sucked, GamePro sucked, Gamefan sucked, PLAY Magazine sucked, GameSpy sucked. Trust no one. The truth is out there. GG connected to those people who were basically waiting for any kind of “game press injustice” to rally behind, because they essentially hated all of the industry’s biggest, most important names.

Where does that come from? I mean, I guess, at least for me, is that once these places lose my trust, it’s basically impossible for it to be regained. And every outlet, at least once in their careers, has a moment that betrays that trust. Where personal interests or even financial interests outstrip the reader’s interests. Trust is so valuable and so fragile that even a single bad editor can spoil a site forever. Even if that person gets fired, the damage they caused can haunt the site’s brand basically forever. Why would I trust IGN? Hilary Goldstein worked there. I think I disagreed with everything that man ever wrote. Why would I trust Polygon? Ben Kuchera writes for them. He said Mario Kart 8 would be the worst selling Mario Kart of all time, when it was probably the single biggest sales driver for the Wii U until Zelda came along. And so on.

This isn’t even touching stuff like Kotaku’s advertising, where they dedicate whole weeks of coverage to a single game because they are paid to do so, which always ends on a glittering review. Even if the review is written honestly, the frame around it places doubt on and hurts that honesty, which above all else should be protected first and foremost.

And I think the thing that really crystallizes all of this is that once an outlet has this happen to them, where they betray someone’s trust, they never, ever, EVER make even a single iota of effort to rebuild that trust. They move on, they bury it, and it’s just assumed that the person yelling in the comments about bias is just “another crazy fanboy.” It turns into this kind of war – the scorned fan in the comments section who obviously still likes the site enough to hang around versus the person employed by the site parroting a “never read the comments” mantra while also repeatedly insulting the very same people they’ve scorned (actually some of their most dedicated fans) just for cheap laughs.

And so the fanboy’s bitterness grows. Salt in an open wound that never really heals.

It’s turning into a serious problem. Maybe there’s no turning back now. It’s that moment in the opening scene of Pixar’s The Incredibles where (spoilers until the end of this paragraph) Mr. Incredible stops the bank robber but the kid, Buddy, gets in the way. Mr. Incredible scolds him for it, and we as the audience think, “That’s right, the kid shouldn’t be there.” Rejected by his hero, Buddy then grows up to become a super villain, channeling that bitterness into a force to kill Mr. Incredible and permanently destroy his entire culture.

“Little guys” like Videogamedunkey, with nearly 4 million Youtube subscribers, are being treated as the new voice of the people. Dunkey has actively attacked what he called “limp dick game journalists” for not doing what he thinks is their job. Dunkey makes some good points against these journalists, even if he does cross some lines, but overall, the message he’s sending is that sympathy for traditional game press has run out. And Dunkey will probably not be the last big name to launch a direct attack against these establishments. They grew up reading these outlets, got burned by some type of distrust, and were constantly told their feelings of betrayal didn’t matter. And now, as these big establishments begin to show signs of weakness in the face of individuals on Youtube, guys like Dunkey are throwing all of that stored up bitterness right back in their faces. As it turns out, not every betrayed fan in the comments section will remain a faceless raging nobody forever. You might not be reading the comments section, but the comments section reads you.

Anyway, getting back to your original message, do I think some people are going overboard with their Sonic Forces hatred? Maybe. Also tying back into what I was just talking about, there is a tendency on the internet to go overboard. With so many voices speaking in unison, in order to be heard, you have to speak REALLY loudly. It’s not enough to simply communicate with friends, some people are competing for reblogs, retweets, likes, thumbs and favs. The loudest, rudest fan is just trying to be heard above the background noise. That’s why you’ve seen this trend, time and time again, where a person will meet their biggest internet heckler in person and they turn out to be nothing. Some of them just want to be acknowledged. So yeah, there are definitely people out there trying to be as loud as possible, hoping somebody will listen to them.

But here’s the deal: I’m not one of those people, and I think there’s a lot about Sonic Forces that’s worrying. As worrying if not more than Sonic Lost World was. It definitely doesn’t look like the successor to Sonic Generations people were hoping for. From what they’ve shown us, I think this looks pretty blatantly like another game where Sonic Team is flying blind and hoping they can stick the landing. I don’t blame anyone who thinks they won’t.

[noviceaoiryusei]

「 DUET 2020.04 」 Kansai Junior interview

Kansai Johnny's Jr.

A heart that jumps out

Fluffy spring time

We had 9 Kansai Juniors tell us about a relaxing happening. The kindness of someone, the places that they had visited... an unexpected moment, they seem to spend days warmly.

Gaku Kawashita

(Spring time) During this time, I enjoyed eating a steak together with grandpa and grandma. I had them choose their favorite from the menu and we ate it. "I couldn't even imagine that we would have a day (like this) to have a feast", I'm so glad, I felt relaxed.

(Recent happening) When Oka-chan, Sawata-kun, us three went to watch a movie after work, it was so crowded that only two seats were available. Then Sawata-kun said, "it's okay, let's go together"; he was so gentle, I felt numb! Sawata-kun is so cool, I've always wanted to talk to him. Recently, we got along with work and we became friends, I'm so happy. Next time, I would like for us three to go again together.

Yuri Oka

(Spring time) The best place to relax is definitely at the futon. The duvet is light and warm, it's really the best. The way I sleep is different, rather than covering my whole body with the futon, I put my feet out of the edge. Then, I enjoy the difference in temperature between the warmth of my body and the coldness of my feet. (laughs) As you might think "why do I do that?" but, it feels good to me!

(Recent happening) I went to Arashi's exhibition with my mom. There are lots of old photos and costumes and it's amazing! The most amazing thing is... I don't want to tell it in full details since it'll be a spoiler but, it's the one with Matsumoto (Jun)-kun's handwriting. As I thought, Arashi-san is so cool, I'm so impressed!

Riku Koshiba

(Spring time) I feel warmth whenever I talk with everyone in Kansai Juniors. What is amazing in Kansai Juniors is that the role of boke and tsukkomi are divided! Kansai Junior has lots of boke but, Fukui-kun and Sawata-kun will precisely plunge in. My high school friends thought that it's funny but, there's no one who stops the boke. Unnecessarily, I felt that Kansai Junior has a good balance.

(Recent happening) Suddenly, the "soccer boys club" went out, we went to a nearby park with my high school friends and we kicked the ball for 5 hours. My friends are good at playing soccer and even if I missed a kick they will absolutely pass it to me again, it's fun. Before the soccer heat is gone, I want to do futsal.

Daichi Imae

(Spring time) I feel relaxed whenever I eat the pumpkin that has been simmered by my mother~. I also like pumpkins so, I make it good. It always makes me pleased. If you're troubled with the side dish, you can make it! Although it makes me worried sometimes. (laughs) It's overwhelmingly delicious!

(Recent happening) I'm addicted with anime and (anime) figures. There's an (anime) figures event in Tokyo but, it's dissapointing that my schedule doesn't fit so I can't go there! My favorite part is the posture (of it), I am an apprentice of the anime fan "master", Sakuma (Daisuke)-kun. Also, Sakuma-kun who respects Miyata (Toshiya)-kun said "call with respect the first generation"! (laughs)

Nairu Koja

(Spring time) When I met small kids who've recently joined Kansai Junior, I felt that I should be kind (to them)~. I thought of one of them who's an energetic kid and talks well, choreographer-san said "that kid, don't you know his name? It's "Akito" (Iwaizumi Akito)". It's the same name as (Kiriyama) Akito-kun! "That's why he's so talkative!", I laughed a lot. "Akito" 's soul, it is inherited.

(Recent happening) I want my hair to be of the same lenght enough to hide my ears. Since I want my hair long without getting damaged, after shampoo I tried an after care treatment with hair beauty substance. Then, I went to a salon, they said, "a ring of an angel has been made on the hair" behind!

Masaya Sawata

(Spring time) I'm getting relaxed whenever I looked at the little kids of Kansai Juniors. There was a time when I'm still a kid that I'm doing some strange movements all by myself. Atsushi is doing it innocently, looking at it makes me really tired. Also, Oka-chan is cute! But he isn't a kid. (laughs) His idle face, how he talks, it's the same level of cuteness as those kids!

(Recent happening) Gaku, Oka-chan and I went to watch a movie but there were only two vacant seats left. Then I said, "It's okay, I'll go watch it later" and gave it to them. Apparently, those guys fell asleep while watching the movie. I gave it to them but why did you fell asleep!? (laughs)

Koshiro Fukui

(Spring time) Before going to bed is the best time for me. Actually, I'm the type of person who can sleep anywhere immediately. (laughs) But after all, I'm happy when I'm able to sleep on my bed at night. ♪ My bed is surrounded with railings on it's four sides and it somehow gaves me a security, the reason why I sleep soundly. Sleeping is good but, "I don't move at all while I'm sleeping?"; that's what I've thought because when I woke up, I'm still at the same position as when I've slept at night. (laughs)

(Recent happening) My university exams are over! During the exam period, I had to sleep for 2 hours for 3 consecutive days so, I'm so happy that it's finally over! Taisei, Koji (Kojima) and good friends that forms the "Fukumoto gundan", let's talk about going snowboarding. I'm going to play a lot!

Taro Yoshikawa

(Spring time) I was watching at a video site when coincidentally, the ending song of an anime that I used to watch played. "Hayaku otona ni naritai" (I want to be an adult already) said the kid, "Kodomo ni modoritai" (I want to go back to being a child) said the adult, it's like a duet song. When I was a kid, I used to symphatize with the children now, I'm surprised that I can understand the feeling of the adults. I'm reminiscing the memories of my childhood, it somehow made me feel warm.

(Recent happening) At the last spring break in high school, I studied, played the guitar and played games. I think it's nice to be able to spend all day doing the things thay you like. (laughs) When I was in junior high school, I have plans to meet up with my friend who had moved to Nagano for the first time in 6 years so, I'm looking forward to it!

Sota Okumura

(Spring time) There was an event that inspired me to visit temples and shrines. One rainy day, I thought "there might be a few people today" so, I visited a temple with a beautiful garden. Then, as soon as I sat down on the porch and looked at the garden, the rain had stopped and the blue sky appeared between the clouds and a yellow butterfly flew in the garden. It might be awkward though but I thought "it might be a welcome", I remember being happy with that.

(Recent happening) At the end of the shochiku-za performance rehearsal yesterday, Fuga invited me and said "Let's go to Messi", I said "If I have a chance" but, I was taken to a family restaurant. (laughs) The moment I saw the sign by the distance, I instinctively said "It's definitely over..!". (laughs)

[mad-madam-m]

How about a leverage/Sterek!AU? Where Derek & his team trying to bring down Peter. Derek&Cora going undercover with Peters kids (who've never seen their cousins) but Derek slowly falls for Peters s-i-l Stiles (&Cora for Peter's d-i-l). Erica, Boyd & Isaac doing an awesome job of inflitrating Peters company & Derek&Cora having to decide if they want to go through with their plan (for Laura) or to spare Stiles&Lydia. Spoiler: Stiles&Lydia hate their father in law & would totally help if they knew.

I have been thinking of a Leverage Sterek AU for over a year at this point, and let’s be honest, anyone who’s ever suggested such a thing to me has heard at least a LITTLE bit about it (and I have written bits of it before).

Like, Derek is the hitter, right? He left home at 17, after most of his family died in a fire, determined to do some good for his country, and then ended up doing a lot of bad, bad things for the right (and wrong) reasons. He’s come to terms with it–mostly–but he doesn’t use guns now, and he very much prefers to work alone. He’s the best damn retrieval specialist in the game, and he is very good at being very scary.

Lydia is the grifter. She’s absolutely gorgeous, can slip into another alias as easy as breathing, and it only takes half a crook of her finger and a glass of good wine to get what she wants. And she wants a lot; after all, she’s always appreciated the finer things in life.

Stiles is the hacker. He loves all things nerdy and he’s been on a computer since he could basically breathe. His first major job was hacking the Bank of Iceland to pay for his father’s medical bills, after his dad took a bullet during a bank robbery. His dad still has no idea what Stiles does, and Stiles likes to keep it that way.

Cora is the thief. After her family died when she was 11, she ended up in the foster system, bouncing from home to home. The system didn’t treat her well and she ended up learning how to steal to survive. By the time she and Derek meet back up, years later, they’re so different they barely recognize each other. (But SLOWLY they would learn to be SIBLINGS AGAIN.)

And the mastermind?

That’s Scott.

Scott, who’s spent his whole life trying to do the right thing, who became an insurance investigator and to track down thieves and fraudsters. He had a wife (Allison) and a son and a job where he felt useful, like what he did mattered.

Then his son got sick, and the insurance company–the company he’d been with for most of his adult life–refused to cover the life-saving treatment. Because it’s “experimental.” The same excuse they give to everyone who pays in thousands of dollars, only to have the money yanked away when they need it the most.

And just like that, he lost everything: his son, his marriage, his job.

So when he gets a chance to go after the wealthy and powerful, to take those who play the system like a fiddle and make them pay for it, to bring them to justice, to help people who have literally nowhere else to turn…

Well, that’s a chance he’s going to jump at.

(And, you know, obviously Derek and Stiles can’t stand each other and they spend most of their time bitching about the other, but they also never leave each other behind and Derek is OUTSTANDINGLY overprotective; Derek and Cora slowly learn to be family again, but this time they have a new family with them as well; Lydia and Allison finally meet at some point and they get along SWIMMINGLY and Scott is TERRIFIED OF WHAT THAT MEANS. And then there’s JACKSON, who took over Scott’s old job and the entire team just fucking HATES him.)