#freed from the drafts she didn’t need to be stuck in there <3

[virtualplushy]

life is so hard i’m so glad it still manages to have the capacity to be really fucking funny

[lifeascaty]

Omg I can't believe you wrote a feature in 3 days! Do you typically write fast? Also, any tips for writing fast? I have a draft due next week but with everything going on, I've been procrastinating and slower than usual. Ty.

I typically write fast! I’m very lucky but this also means I can be very lazy, because I know I can spend time procrastinating and still write pages I am happy with. Also, once you write fast once you know you can do it again, so you just need that first time to blast you through (at least in my experience). I had a professor who I thought hated me (she didn’t) with very high standards, and I had to rewrite 50 pages in one day/night. And I did. And she liked the pages! After that, knowing I had to write 30 pages a day for the feature didn’t seem so bad. 

It’s totally okay to not be a fast writer, but if you want to speed up, hopefully this helps:

1. Don’t be afraid to suck. Sometimes I have to write bad pages to figure out the good pages. Sometimes I start writing and know the first two pages are gonna be bad. That’s fine. I get into my groove after those two pages, write the stuff I need to, then go back and fix or delete those two bad pages. I’d rather have bad pages to fix than an empty page with nothing on it because I was so afraid of getting it wrong. 

2. Don’t be afraid to suck publicly. I was in multiple classes where students would end up not bringing pages to class (or not bringing many pages to class because they’d been writing too slowly) all because they had been so paralysed by the fear of sucking in front of others. And then they fell behind and their work didn’t grow and advance. It’s okay to have sucky pages. It’s okay to suck in front of others. Especially in a writing group or workshop environment. You want notes so you can grow as a writer. You want notes so you can get perspectives other than your own. Once the fear of being bad in front of others went, I was freed to write faster because I wasn’t scared of making the wrong decision. 

3. Have a great beat sheet. I once wrote a 50-60 page pilot in a day. And it was a really good pilot. It was one of the two scripts to get me a manager and I placed Top 5 at AFF with it. But that’s because I’d spent a LOT of time on the beat sheet. Beat sheets are indispensable to me when writing pilots (but for some reason I hate them when writing features). I can get notes on the beat sheet and fix problems early, work out pacing etc. And then when it’s time to write the pilot, it’s literally just making the beats larger. Just filling them in with more detail. I already have the road map for my pilot, and now I just need to flesh them out. I can write pilots quickly when I want to because of the time I’ve spent working out my beats, and then I can just let everything flow. So if you’re not someone who spends time on beat sheets then maybe experiment with them!

4. Sit your butt down and fucking do it. I can be quite mean with myself if I’m struggling. You wanna pee? Tough, write another two pages. You need to eat? Shower? Check your emails? Sure, but first you have to meet your page target. Sometimes I need to use the stick instead of the carrot to achieve my goals. It’s a “stop making excuses and fucking do it” mentality that I only use when I’m really crunched for time, but it works for me. 

5. If I’m stuck, why am I stuck? If I’m struggling to write, it’s usually because there’s a problem earlier on in the script. I take a moment and think about it, work out where I start to feel uneasy and my writing slows. Usually, it’s because something’s not working but I can only see that further down the line. That’s fine. I either go back and fix the problem then and there, or I write on as if I’ve already fixed that problem, and then go back and fix it later. 

But basically: don’t be afraid to suck and have a good road map. That’s how it works for me. And remember that it’s okay to be a slower writer. Everyone works at their own speed and still produces good work. But, if you’re in a crunch with a draft due this week, just free yourself from all anxieties and let the words fall as they may. And then fix them in the extra time you now have from your increased writing speed!

(Please feel free to ask me questions if you’re quarantining and bored! Happy to chat!)

[modern-oedipus]

Check-List for the Goals I settled for 2019

The funny mistake I’ve made earlier lead me think about what I’ve expected from 2019 when we started it. I found a list of the goals I made while we were entering the new year’s and here is a realistic evaluation of how it went.

• First of all, I wanted to manage my depressive episodes better. I wanted to have them less frequently. I wanted not to be absolutely crashed if a trigger hit me. Here’s how it went with a rough statistics (yes, because I’m a soon-to-be scientist, I actually made a graph of my own mood swings as if I am a test subject).

✔️ January was absolutely terrible for me. I had so much anxiety because of a toxic relationship and I wasn’t sure if I could ever live without that person. I failed two classes and withdraw a third one. I was super anxious about my internships. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be on the path I was and I was also having financial troubles. Also, one of my pet birds had passed away.

✔️ February was the month I truly felt like something in me was changing for the better. I felt like something clicked after the winter break— when I was, in a funny way, forbidden from consuming sugar for three days. I used to eat a lot of sugar/sweets to cope with my stress back then, to the point I still amaze at myself for not being overweight, plus size, or developing diabetes; because I really was eating too much sweets. But then I had a conversation with my father that feels unworldy, and combinated with the tree days no sugar diet and beginning of the new semester I suddenly felt like, even if I couldn’t fix everything, I could fix something. I had to start, regardless of how little. So I started by eating carefully— so significiantly less sugar consumed than I used to be, but I didn’t force it all at once. So if I were eating 3 brownies a day I decreased it step by step to 2 brownies a day, one brownie a day, and... At November 2019, it is probably a brownie once in 15 days. With even more pleasure than eating 3 brownies at once. (Don’t worry, I still let myself be free of eating whatever I want occassionally. I’m taking care of my health). Anyway. I started to hit up gym in my college for first time ever. I was so painfully inconsistent, but I knew that much was to be expected, so instead of getting angry at myself for not being a regular I just appreciated myself for going despite not being a regular.

✔️ March was a turnpoint. I decided to be bold enough to pursue my ex hobbies that I lost because of depression, one of them being writing. I’ve had a strong muse for Norman back then. I made a new account on Facebook. I knew no one, but to my luck I made so many friends. I drowned in NorRay ship with a very nice roleplay partner. I built new friendships away from the toxic partner of mine who was seriously causing a lot of damage on me. By the end of March we broke up and— surprise, my world didn’t end. I felt so refreshed, so alive, as if I was freed of my chains, and up until this day this feeling stands. I was more eager to pursue new hobbies, talk about my interests and do crazy shit instead of worrying my ex would think. I was happier. Much happier. This too, is still valid.

✔️ April was... unworldly. Because something that relates to my society happened as a big improvement and I was extremely positively surprised. This feeling is valid up to this day as well.

✔️ May... May was wild. I got kissed by a random stranger at the spring fest party. This fucking event lead me to write Conflict. Seriously. I built stronger friendships, online and offline, during this month. I felt truly connected.

✔️ June!!! June was so weird! It was my first break after one or maybe two years of depression. It was my first free holiday in which I didn’t reall feel like I was a waste of time, space, effort, money, etc. I got to walk around streets with a burden off my shoulders after so long. I got to look forward to the next days. The insecurities hit me up sometimes, but significantly less frequently, as I aimed in the beginning of the year. At this point I have had lost a good 5 kgs and had been eating very healthily too, and I was enjoying this new healthier lifestyle I adapted. This is still valid too.

Let’s examine June a little more carefully. At the end of the June I was going to go out of town to have an internship at a very prestigious university out of town. Which meant I had to stay in student dorms. I had no background about my field of internship yet. I was going to be utterly alone and I was freaking out about it. I’ve spent last week of June extremely tense because I don’t live in dorms normally and sharing a space with people and being alone at a professional place and things like doing laundry felt terrifying. But at the same time I was proud of myself because I’ve had always wondered how life would be living in a college campus, and this school I went was the best in my country equal to the university I am attending. Overall, it was prestigious and I was very excited.

Another important thing about June was that I’ve had written almost ALL of Conflict in my head with two of my roleplay partners eagerly listening to me and encouraging me whenever I plotted.

Have you noticed this?

My story was completed BEFORE I even posted.

At the end of June, a few days before I was about to leave for the internship, I had a breakdown. I had a bad breakdown. I had first draft of Conflict completed but I could never get to edit it. I could never get to post it. I didn’t even have an account. I didn’t really expect much interest in the story either, I just... I don’t know. I think I just thought, “Wow, this plot is so feelsy. I shouldn’t keep it buried in me. Maybe other people will love it too.” and I... kept Conflict waiting... for so long. Then I had a breakdown thinking I can’t do a fucking thing right and I’ll never get to post anything because I always let my “depression” take over it— which is a funny excuse because I wasn’t even depressed at June. Scared yes, but not depressed. I hate playing the victim. Objectively speaking, I wasn’t at my best but it wasn’t my worst either. Anyway. I left first chapter of Conflict linger there for a few weeks, hopeless that I could ever post.

✔️ Then comes July. I came to the internship city! It was AWESOME. I LOVED the campus, LOVED the experience, LOVED my field, and ENJOYED dorm life. I made many friends. I had roommates. I worked out more often. I went to sightseeing. I extended my network. I did A LOT of fun stuff.

On the first night I was at dorms, my two roommates were out. I didn’t know anyone yet. I had ONE night free to do anything. I was... in an awe. So I opened the documents. I looked at the pretty sight from my dorm room and I said, “Well, let’s do this.”

It was like a torture to finish that first chapter.

I had no expectations when I posted.

But oh my god, it felt like something clicked when I posted! Getting my story POSTED was a significant proof that I was SERIOUSLY moving on from the LAST traces of depression. It was something I created. It was MY productivity. It was ME. But in a way it was everyone. I felt extremely happy. Oh— did I mention Conflict is my first fanfiction?

Anyway, then I began to look forward to updating. Living in campus had it’s amazing advantages, such as no time wasted on transport, and ability to chill at coffee shops or 24/7 open library ALL NIGHT if I wanted. Which was wayyy less depressing than the environment of my house. I wrote. I felt super engaged. The simple fact that I could exist and produce something and have other people respond to it was something I could never imagine myself doing back on my depressed days. (But I could totally imagine this BEFORE I got in depression. In a way, I was back. I am still back. And I’m so grateful.)

I wasn’t only fooling around to write, though. I’ve been learning a lot. Experiencing a lot. Living a lot. It was amazing. I even binge watched Harry Potter with my roommate— and I hadn’t rewatched it before. (I had fucking forgotten that Sirius died, lmao.)

I also briefly fell in love again. It was a nice brief summer thing. Still think she’s amazing.

I need to go now, actually, so I’m abrubtly cutting this post off halfway to edit later. I don’t know what I earn by sharing this. I’m definitely not looking for attention— maybe you’ve realized it before but I give very little fucks about what people around me say (except for constructive critism). But somehow, I felt as if someone needed to see this. I don’t know that person. I don’t know who they are and when they are reading this. I just want people to know that there is an example of a girl who seriously changed a lot within span of a year by constant hard work, gentle-self-talks, and constant push-throughs even when she’s not motivated. Right now I’m far from being depressed nor suicidal, I’ve lost enough weight to dress up all bold clothes I LOVE to wear, I’ve built self-confidence, etc, as I will edit later. I just... want you all to know... even if this is not valid for everyone if you want something to happen you have to MAKE it happen. And it actually HAPPENS when you MAKE it happen. So, you don’t have to stay stuck in a bad cycle. You don’t even need a new year’s eve to do this. I started at february, see?

So do your best! I’m cheering for you!

Edit: I’m back. So point of this post was to check whether I’ve reached my goal of having less frequent depressive episodes. (Because I know I’m human and depressive episodes can hit ANYONE, so I didn’t have an unrealistic “I’ll never experience this again” expectation but I did have the expectation of “I’ll experience this maybe once or twice in a year, move on fast w/o unhealthy coping mechanisms and I’ll stay connected to LIFE instead of dissosciation” and I’ve achieved this.

A fast summary would be,

July built my self confidence at all aspects, from my hobbies to my career, my social skills to my curiosities. It was amazing.

August-September was vacation. One month of having a blissful vacation without feeling like a burden. One month of having full bliss. No depressive episodes not even once. I was regularly working out and I didn’t gain any weight even though I eat sweets and nice food everyday because of “holiday”. I went to a dietician in the end to find out my blood sugar is very healthy and my weight is normal now.

At the end of September & beginning of October I was nervous because of school, but I handled a lot better. I have done my best. I have truly done my best. I attended almost all lectures, I engaged in the material, asked all questions on my mind, went office hours, stayed active in newspaper, continued to hit up gym regularly, built more friendships, ALSO STAGED A THEATRE TEXT I HAVE WRITTEN LIKE THAT WAS AMAZING, and— and—

I don’t know, fast through November it doesn’t feel enough. I don’t know what I’ve honestly expected. But I expected to feel smarter or something, because science is hard shit. I expected better grades than this because I have honestly given it my all best. But the fact that my friends called me to reassure me made me really happy because one of my other goals was to build friendships and to think people, online and offline, check up on me makes me tear up. Especially when they are genuniely by my side as friends. It just feels so nice. So I’m feeling bittersweet.

I couldn’t lose any more weight since June, but I kept gaining/losing in some balance and I’m stable by now. My aim for February is to... lose 10 kgs in total— in a year. Which means I’ve got 4 kgs left to get rid of extra weight. I’m not really obsessed with body image, I’ve never been, but... What will I even do if I do not eat healthy and exercise? I mean, what’ll I even do? I like exercising and healthy eating. So I should just prevent stressful eating further so I can get rid of all the extra stuff. I’m already wearing all the pretty clothes I want and I do get stares because ;; idk they look cute I’m cute. Not in a narcissitic way. But self-love is important. I’m bi anyway, I do think girls are cute so since I’m a girl why shouldn’t I be cute as well?? A very feminine girl in fact, so like, hell yes, at least Nila can now wear whatever she wants and feels like she looks good on them so ONE OF THE MAJOR GOALS OF 2019 is fucking SETTLED!!

I’m planning to meet up my dietician again soon, and say that, “Look, I’ve come this far. Let’s lose 4 kgs in next 4 months. It makes 1 kg a month. Amazingly managable right? So guide me so I don’t ruin my health while thinning.”

So, I’ve managed my three major goals: Get rid of depression (learn how to burn it if it hits you); get a body you not only appreciate but feel genuniely HAPPY to be in; and built friendships and strengthen your bonds with people.

My two other major goals are incompleted, though. To cut it short, I wanted to get a better academic standing— from my first midterm grades I couldn’t really achieve that no matter how hard I tried, which is truly upsetting, but I have no choice but to go on. I love my major. I love science. I genuniely want to stay in this field. I don’t think I’m too idiotic to be a scientist. Sometimes I do think that, okay, but that’s a common thought in STEM majors. I do want to believe that what I work on will make a difference. It will have a meaning. So even though these results... are very discouraging to the point I felt really bad today, as if I could somehow, I don’t know, have a panic attack or something (I did not, I don’t have chronic anxiety or panic attacks or whatever, never experienced this). I just felt close to it, with increased heartbeat and feeling a bit dizzy and also very... imbalanced. But that’s probably because I didn’t eat well today, I unintentionally ate very little hence probably it exhausted me combined with bad news and saturday’s breakdown. Anyway. I have no choice but to go on, believing it will be better. My last major goal was to have a romantic partner, haha. Because I just want to. I mean, I don’t think I need to justify why I’d want a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I don’t think I worked hard for this goal lol. I mean, I didn’t go out of my way to reach people. I liked like... three people this year, I still like one of them, but... It didn’t... go far. That’s probably because I still haven’t completely shaken off my shyness and unwillingness to get out of my comfort zone.

In conclusion, I have achieved 3/5 of my goals, which is more than half of it! So good job! For the girlfriend/boyfriend part, I, haha, I may neglect it for this year I mean it’s dumb to date someone just because??? You want to date before year ends right??? I mean, I’m not exactly angry at myself for that because it’s not only in my control so I think I forgive myself for not achieving that goal.

Academics though.

Ugh, academics are extremely terrifying to me.

That’s one big thing I need to settle.

On the bright side I have— two months! Silly me thought I have just one! So... let me... work hard in these two months!!!! And I’ll update if I can get a better GPA this semester. And if I get a lover. It’s ok not to have lovers but at least let me keep the GPA high I BEG you.

I’ve got new goals settled for 2020. But I will focus on achieving my last two goals before the year ends (academics mostly) and... update!

I don’t know who needs to read this. But I don’t mind having my journey posted at this point. I still feel very uncomfortable talking about depression, actually. But it was my reality. Now that I truly moved on, I can talk about it and critisize myself for all good and all bad.

I hope, to anyone who bothered to read so long, it gave some hope. That things can get better. That you CAN make things better little by little. 2020 can be your year. Or you can start on this very day like I randomly started on February (I didn’t have a thing for February, I just so happened to decide).

I’ll always be cheering those who do their best to make a difference.

Stay safe and let’s work hard. ❤️

Disclaimer: Some of my kind hearted readers were worried about me because Conflict describes unhealthy mindsets. Don’t worry— more than half of them are not based on my real life experiences! I’m not self-harming (never did, don’t think I ever will), neglecting antidepressants (I never used any actually), have suicidal tendencies (well, that part was real but no longer valid) AND I DON’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP LIKE NORMAN/PETER sO Y’ALL CAN CHILL thank you for worrying about me I love you all

And I’ll be more than happy to be your goals-buddy if you want to change something about yourself as well!!!

[winterbaby89]

As Destiny Has Its Eyes on You Chapter 15/?

Summary:

Princess Emma Swan of Misthaven has been prophesied as the Savior since before her birth. Now with the help of a Lieutenant from her past she is going to take her destiny into her own hands, to defeat the Evil Queen.

A/N:

This story is inspired by ’Destiny has its eyes on you’ by the lovely @seriouslyhooked (EmilyBea on FF), my chapters 1-4 are based on her chapters 1&2 (with her blessing).

@ilovemesomekillianjones has graciously agreed to be my beta on this entire project, her works can also be found on: AO3, and FF.

I want to start by thanking everyone who has stuck with this story, reading, and commenting. Thank you. And I want to apologize for the delay in getting the chapter published, the muse did a thing again, and had to have her way, so it is the longest chapter to date for Destiny, so I do hope you enjoy. I also want to thank @hollyethecurious, and @kmomof4 for talking to me and helping me get through my blocks on this chapter.

This story is rated ‘M’.

AO3  FF.net  Prologue/Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11  Chapter 12 Chapter 13  Chapter 14

Chapter 15

A Week Later

 “My spy in Arendelle is the best, and he tells me that you have all the information I need to stop that spoiled princess. You will tell me what I want to know, or things will get even more unpleasant for you.” Killian watches Regina pace back and forth, stalling as long as he can before answering her.

“Each time you pull me out of that repulsive brig to have these lovely chats, I tell you the same thing. I will say it slower this time, so try and keep up, yeah? I will never tell you what you want to know. Emma is stronger than you, and she will defeat you. So do to me what you will, but know that you will fail.”

Regina releases a frustrated scream startling everyone within ear shot, as she backhands Killian across the face. She begins pacing again as Killian picks himself up off the stone floor. Having minor difficulty with his hands bound behind him, he refuses to give Regina the pleasure of seeing him struggle.

She stalks toward him once more and wraps her hand around his throat. “If you will be of no help, then it is senseless for me to keep you alive. The question is shall I kill you now, or shall I wait for that little-”

“Grandma! I’m home. Did you miss me?” Emma comes strolling through the archway to Regina’s rooms, all sass, snark, and fire. Killian doesn’t think he has ever beheld a more beautiful sight than his wife staring down the most feared sorceress in the Enchanted Forest without batting an eye. “If you don’t take your hands off my husband you are going to have a really bad day.”

“Is that so child? I was just starting to have some fun with him.”

Emma unsheathes her sword, and points it at Regina.“ Get your hands off him, bitch. Don’t make me tell you again.”

“No. I think I’m going to make you watch as I strangle him slowly. Ooh, on second thought, perhaps I’ll rip his heart out…”

Emma and Killian share a knowing look at her statement.

“Yeah, good luck with that Grandma.”

Regina scowls at Emma, then growls at her, “Stop calling me that you infernal child! I am not, nor will I ever be your Grandmother!” Regina plunges her hand into Killian’s chest with a feral smile splitting her face, as if she is already victorious. Her evil grin falters when she can’t pull his heart from his chest, and she becomes even more frustrated and furious. With more strength than she looks capable of, Regina throws Killian across the room. An audible crack is heard as his head smashes into the unforgiving marble wall.

“KILLIAN!” Emma’s heart plummets into her churning stomach as she watches the man she loves - her husband, and father of her children, slam into the wall with an unnatural force, and crumple into an unmoving heap on the floor. She turns on Regina, seething, and the white gold light of her magic flares from her hands as rage courses through her veins. Emma’s magic is pulsing with her heightened emotions, rolling off her body in waves forceful enough to throw Regina from her feet, and up against the wall behind her. “I was going to be merciful. I’d hoped to offer you the chance to surrender, and stand trial for your crimes, Regina. I wanted to help you move past this, but you have left me no choice; you will never use your magic for good, so I will strip it from you.”

“You ignorant little girl, you aren’t that powerful! Not even the Dark One himself could take my magic from me. I am going to take great pleasure in killing you, and parading your body around for all to see what happens to those who dare to defy me.”

“That is where you are wrong Regina. There is no magic more powerful than light magic, and my magic is born of True Love, the most powerful magic of all. And I won’t be alone, I will have the help of my own child made of True Love.”

Not bothering to pause long enough to see Regina’s reaction, Emma falls within herself focusing on the spell to strip Regina of her powers while continuing to hold her in place against the wall with her magic. Opening her eyes, Emma watches as the black, swirling cloud of dark magic is extracted from Regina’s body. The dark essence becomes surrounded by Emma’s light magic, and as all that is good and pure infuses the vile entity, Regina’s magic dissipates until all that remains is the light.

Regina stands frozen, her body stiff, wracked with a pain flowing throughout her, as she’s stripped of all power and magic, rendering her unable to ever wield dark magic again. “No,” she whispers, a single tear rolling down her cheek, before her wild anger returns.    

“I did learn a thing or two from my fairy mentor Regina, so I will show you a kindness, and give to you the gift of finding your own True Love.” Emma thinks back to her lessons and discussions with Tinkerbelle, plus the added information that she garnered from the Tome of Displacement. Her concentration is disrupted when she hears Regina scream at her from where she is still pinned to the wall.

“You ignorant child, didn’t your mother ever tell you that all of this is because she killed my true love. My Daniel.”

“No! My mother didn’t kill Daniel, your mother did-”

“Because Snow couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She deserves this pain, she deserves to feel my pain, because my true love is gone.”

“Daniel may be gone, but your true love still lives… the man with the lion tattoo, Tink told me about him. She said you were too scared to meet him, unwilling to give up your magic and your grudge. I think it is time you stop denying yourself and your true love the happiness you can both have… together.”

“That insufferable busy body of a pixie! She’s your mentor? I’m amazed you made it this far, what could she possibly know? She meddles in peoples’ lives that don’t want her meddling!”

“Regina, you’re not mad at Tink. You’re mad at yourself for ignoring your true love, the man the fairy dust led you to. You’re mad because you were afraid, but you have the chance now to make up for that. Let me send you to him, after you sign the surrender agreement, start your life anew.”

“After everything I’ve done, why? Why do you want to do this for me?”

“Because I am my mother’s daughter, I believe in hope, and love. I’ve also reconnected with my true love, I’ve experienced utter heartbreak and unadulterated joy, and I know which I prefer. So why don’t you? You continue to tread the path of vengeance, and not only does it hurt you, but it hurts him too, because his life would be so much better with you in it, as yours would be with him.”

Regina ponders Emma’s words, and considers what the woman is offering her. “I’ll surrender, and sign the treaty, if you promise to send me to my true love. Do we have an accord?”

“I am so glad you decided to do the right thing Regina, I know being with your true love will be everything you never let yourself dream you could have. As I’ve stripped you of your powers, you will never be able to wield dark magic ever again, so you will have to stay on the straight and narrow.” Magically conjuring the drafted surrender decree Emma continues with her warning to Regina, “This agreement will be magically binding, so if you ever decide to go back on your word, there will be dire consequences that neither you nor I will be able to prevent, so keep that in mind.”

“Noted. Now are you going to release me from this infernal wall?”  

With a wave of her hand Emma releases the magical hold on Regina, then rushes over to Killian where he is still unconscious at the base of the wall. She can tell that he is still breathing, just unconscious. She runs a healing hand the length of his body to take care of any injuries she can’t see, as well as the laceration on the back of his head.

Taking a moment to assess her faculties once she’s freed from the magical bonds, Regina feels hollow where her magic used to reside. Finding a bit of hope within herself, she wonders if maybe her true love will help fill this void. She summons her second in command, who brings a regimen of guards along to witness the signing.

Upon completion of the surrender agreement Emma transports Regina to her true love.

Standing up from where she’s kneeling next to Killian, Emma turns to the assembled group of black knights that have gathered. “Guards, I am now the liege of this castle, Regina is gone for good, you will release all prisoners immediately.” Emma turns to Regina’s second in command saying, “You shall run a white flag up the tallest tower to signal to all in the area that Regina’s reign has ended.” As she is speaking, Emma runs her hand over the signed surrender willing her magic to immediately present a copy to every commander on the front lines of every battlefield, each assassin, and spy in Regina’s network, as well as every monarch involved and affected by Regina’s war.

As soon as all the black knights scramble to fulfill her orders, she sits back down next to Killian. She runs a hand through his hair, brushing it away from his forehead. After a few moments he comes to, looking up at Emma with relief and adoration in his eyes. Emma gingerly helps him get back up on his feet and removes his shackles so she can finally embrace him. She snuggles Killian as tightly as she feels is safe.

Sensing her apprehension to truly hug him as tightly as she needs for her reassurance, heck for his own as well, Killian wraps his arms around her and squeezes to just before bruising point.

They lose track of time wrapped up together, murmuring reassurances to each other that they are safe now. They pull apart minimally when interrupted by a rough throat clearing.

“Pardon, the interruption, but the guards informed us that Regina is no longer in power, and that we are free to go home?” Queen Iduna asks.

“Queen Iduna! King Agnarr! Is that really you? I thought you were dead. Elsa and Anna, and everyone thinks you are dead.”

“Hello Emma, that is what your husband told us when he was brought here… we are hoping to return to our girls as soon as possible, and we were kind of hoping you might be able to help us with that.” Queen Iduna requests.

“Certainly, it would be my honor to reunite your family. You can accompany us back to Arendelle on the Jolly Roger, unfortunately, I’m unable to poof you back to Arendelle, no matter how much I’d like to. In the years since your disappearance the conflict with Regina has escalated. Elsa had to heighten security measures, she used her magic to place a protective barrier around the kingdom. No one can poof in, though they do retain the ability to poof out. I did promise to return with Killian so they can see for themselves that he is alive and well. We will be returning to the Jolly Roger tomorrow morning as soon as we get everything squared away here.”

Queen Iduna smiles fondly at Emma. “I think that sounds like an acceptable plan. Once you are done here, shall we all dine together before turning in? We’d love to catch up and get reacquainted.”

“I think I would like that very much.”

◊◊◊

Arriving back at the Jolly Roger early the next morning, they are greeted with a rousing cheer from every member of the Jolly’s crew. The rowdy men stand in an array across the deck to welcome their Captain and his wife home, the display startles the shite out of the Arendelle royals.

“Emma dear. Those don’t look like military men…” Queen Iduna all but squeaks in Emma’s ear.

“That’s because they are not military men, not any longer anyhow. They’re pirates. But fear not, they are a good bunch of men, they will treat you well while you are on board. You are our guests after all.”

“Are you sure about this my dear?” Queen Iduna asks Emma.

“Unequivocally. My husband’s crew are some of the best people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.” Feeling that the queen is comfortably appeased, Emma and Killian ascend the gangplank together to the continued applause of their crew. Once fully on the deck of the ship, the crew forms a semicircle around the four of them.

Killian lifts the arm not wrapped around Emma to quiet the men. “Alright gents, alright. I’m glad to be back as well. But heed my words, we will be escorting some very special guests back to Arendelle, and you will be on your best behavior. Killian swings his arm toward the royal couple. “This is the King and Queen of Arendelle and they are close family friends to Mistress Jones. You will treat them as you treat Mistress Jones, or you will have to deal with me. Am I understood?”

A resounding chorus of aye captain is heard from every man on board. Assured of his crew’s understanding, Killian moves towards the cabin level with Emma still tucked into his side. He is hesitant to let her go after their separation, but he must show the royals to their guest cabin.

As soon as they make it to their cabin, door shut and secured behind them, Emma and Killian both crash into each other, both eager to finally be joined together in the most intimate of ways after their forced time apart from each other. Killian’s arms encircle Emma, backing her into the wall next to the door, “Gods above Emma, I need you so bad it hurts, please tell me you need me too.”

“Yes Killian, always. Please, need you now.” With her consent Killian picks Emma up, lips crashing to hers in a needy kiss as his hands start pushing her dress up her thighs.

“Naughty lass, no knickers, and already soaking for me.” After getting Emma’s dress pushed up out of the way Killian quickly pulls the laces of his pants free letting them drop to the floor without a second thought. Taking himself in hand and guiding his engorged cock to her wet center, Killian thrusts into her in one smooth motion, taking her hard and fast. He sets a breakneck pace to get them both to climax, chasing the much needed release, while still savoring the entirety of this moment. “Bloody hell love, I don’t think I’m going to last much longer, please tell me you’re close, too.”

The only immediate response Emma can muster is a long drawn out, deep throaty moan of pleasure. After a few more moments Emma is able to find her voice through the pleasure, and all but begs, “Killian. Gods. Don’t stop, almost there. Please.” Killian adjusts his hips just so, causing his pelvis to drag along her clit on each thrust, quickly sending Emma over the edge, her pulsing walls milking him for all he’s worth. He calls out her name in unison with her shout of his name on her lips.

Once he has regained his sensibilities from the near debilitating and earth shattering orgasm, he gently pulls his softening member free and sets Emma to rights on the floor, not releasing her until he is certain she has regained her sea legs.

They help each other undress before climbing into their bed, and snuggling up in each other. After several minutes, Killian pulls back from their embrace dropping a sweet kiss to Emma’s forehead before making his way down her body, settling himself to be eye level with her still flat belly. He lavishes her belly in sweet kisses before starting what is quickly becoming an adorable tradition. Ever since they found out about the pregnancy Killian has started taking the time to reverently shower her belly in kisses, and whisper stories and sweet nothings alike, for just the wee one’s ears.

After she watches Killian talk to the baby for several long minutes, Emma quietly calls out his name, needing his attention on her for a moment. “Killian?”

He doesn’t move from his position where he has been speaking to their baby, but does lift his head to meet his wife’s eyes at her gentle bid for his attention. Maintaining his quiet and soothing manner, he responds, “Yes my love?”

“I hate to interrupt your bonding time with the baby, but we do have an important issue to address. We are returning Anna and Elsa’s parents from the perceived grave, how do we go about lessening that shock?”

“Speaking of shocks, since we’re on the way back, and conversations will be had, how much are Anna and Elsa aware of… in regards to our revelations, I don’t wish to say something out of turn if you’re not ready to disclose it yet.” Killian casts a quick glance back at her belly as he speaks.

“They don’t know yet, I wanted to talk to you first, and I want you to be with me when we break the news, if you want to be there.”

“Would you like to tell them before we leave, my love?”

“If you’re ok with it, I’d like to, I don’t want to hide it from them, and have anyone thinking I’m ashamed.”

“Then we shall tell them before we set sail for Oldstown, at a time when you feel it appropriate. As to the matter of the reunion with their parents, it is going to be a substantial shock to both Elsa and Anna, no matter how we go about it. We can always discuss it with the King and Queen as to how they would like to go about the situation since it will be an emotional reunion for them all.” Killian leans up to kiss Emma’s lips, happy that they have come to an agreement that will make his wife happy, before he returns to his previous activity of regaling their unborn child with tales of adventures.

◊◊◊

A Week Later

As the crew get the Jolly tied off to the docks Emma and Killian disembark into an immediate tackle hug from Elsa and Anna both. “You did it, we knew you’d do it. You rescued Killian and defeated Regina.”

“Yeah… about that… Killian wasn’t the only one I rescued…” All four turn towards the sound of a throat clearing up on the deck of the Jolly, as King Agnarr and Queen Iduna choose that moment to make their presence known. Anna releases a squeal that absolutely does not sound human, and Elsa seems to have turned to ice, frozen in place. Emma and Killian discreetly bow out to allow the newly reunited royals as private of a reunion as possible in public.

Once the initial shock has worn off, and the happy crying has subsided, they notice that Emma and Killian are no longer next to them. They scan the area in search of them so that they can all start the trek back to the palace together. Queen Iduna spots them on the deck of the Jolly, engaged in a conversation with a polite young man she believes is named Pip.

“Em, it’s safe now, I promise. I want you both to accompany us back to the palace. I’d also like the entire crew present at the palace tomorrow for the ball, in celebration of my parents safe and miraculous return. Accommodations will be available for any member that wishes to stay at the palace while you are in port, worry not for the security of your ship, I will station guards to ensure its safety.”

◊◊◊

Later the next evening with the ball still in full swing, Emma’s pregnancy induced fatigue kicks in with a vengeance. She and Killian seek out Elsa and Anna to have a private moment with them before turning in for the night, as they’re casting off for Oldstown with the morning tide.

“Elsa, do you think we could get you and Anna alone for a moment?”

“Sure Em, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, Killian and I just want to talk to you both for a moment before heading to bed, since we really won’t have the opportunity in the morning before we leave.”

“Okay.” Elsa lingers on the syllables of the word, as she’s sizing up Emma’s expression and body language. “Let’s use the sitting room down the hall.” Elsa manages to loop her arm through Anna’s in passing as she is leading Emma and Killian to the aforementioned room. Ensuring that the door is secured behind them, Elsa rounds on her best friend with a critical glare, “Okay, Emma, spill. What’s going on?”

“What? Can’t a girl talk to her best friend before having to leave?”

“Yes, a girl can, but you, I know you, you forget this… so spill.”

Emma reaches to squeeze Killian’s hand a little harder, as she steels her nerves. “Okay. You’re right, but let’s sit first.”

Elsa still looks skeptical, but agrees to sit nonetheless, while Anna wears an air of general cluelessness. Finally settled as comfortably as can be expected Emma dives in head first.

“So, we wanted to tell you before we left town, we aren’t just married, we’re pregnant too.”

With no warning Anna releases the happy squeal of all squeals. Emma will be genuinely surprised if the palace guards don’t come and bust down the door. She honestly wonders if every guest in the ballroom can hear, as Anna veritably bounces from the furniture and walls.

“Truly Emma?” Emma nods her head at Elsa’s question, with happy tears in her eyes, as she can see tears forming in Elsa’s. “I am so happy for you both, congratulations.” Elsa snatches Emma off of the couch and pins her in the tightest of hugs. Elsa eventually releases Emma to snatch an unsuspecting Killian up into a hug as well. Anna finally calms down enough to swoop through with her round of hugs and congratulations.

After a few more rounds of hugs and well wishes from the sisters, Emma and Killian finally make their way to their room to turn in for the evening.

◊◊◊

Since setting sail from Arendelle, the last several days and nights aboard their ship have been perfect. They've enjoyed smooth sailing, good food and company, and of course, passionate nightly lovemaking. Killian is lying awake in bed thinking of the potential outcomes to meeting his new in-laws, while Emma, who is sated and exhausted, lays snuggled into his side, using his chest as a pillow. Killian is just contemplating getting up to blow out the candles and turn down the lamps when there is a soft knock on the door. Carefully making his way off the bed so he won’t jostle Emma, he pulls on his discarded pants. Looking back to make sure Emma is covered completely with the blankets before opening the door, he’s surprised to see Pip on the other side looking nervous.

“Something the matter, lad?”

“No. No sir, but I was hoping to ask you something, about a personal matter. As long as I’m not intruding Captain, I apologize for the late hour, but I just finished cleaning up after the evening meal, and we’re set to dock in Oldstown in a few days-”

“Lad. Lad, don’t be nervous, come, let’s go across to the empty cabin. We can sit and chat about whatever it is that has you so worked up, just be sure to mind your voice, Mistress Jones is sleeping.” Killian directs Pip to the now vacant guest cabin across the hall, telling the boy to have a seat in one of the chairs at the table, while he lights the lone lamp in the room. “So lad, tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Do you remember meeting Miss Melanie last time we were in port Captain?”

“Aye. She seems like a good lass.”

“Well, she and I have been corresponding, since then, with some help from Mistress Jones. And I was hoping for your blessing and permission to bring her with us when we go back to Misthaven, sir.”

“I must ask, what are your intentions with Miss Melanie?”

“I’m hoping to continue courting her, and if she’s agreeable, marry her, sir.”

“And her family will be agreeable to her just up and relocating with a day’s notice? While unwed... on a pirate ship.”

“That actually won’t be a problem Captain, seeing as her mother died in childbirth, and her father and older brother were killed by black knights during the war. She has nobody left. I am also more than prepared to shoulder any extra burden having her on board might cause; since we will have another mouth to feed, the cost for the extra food can be taken from my shares, sir.”

“I see… I don’t have a problem with allowing her to come with us to Misthaven so long as she is amenable. I will make a statement to the crew before she comes aboard so they understand she is not to be hassled, she will be under my protection. Once we reach Misthaven it is uncertain what awaits us; I understand and respect your desire to settle down with Miss Melanie, but know that you have a place on my crew if you wish to continue sailing.”

“There is no other Captain I’d rather serve under sir.”

“Well lad, unless there is anything else you need to discuss, it’s probably best we turn in, dawn comes early my boy.” Killian claps Pip on the shoulder reassuringly before standing from his chair.

“Yes sir, that it does. I shall leave you to your rest.” Pip stands as he speaks, both men heading towards the door and their respective beds.

◊◊◊

Emma and Killian are up on deck, anxious for their port call, before the crew even has the Jolly docked in Oldstown. As soon as they have the all clear from the harbormaster they make their way off the ship. They enjoy a leisurely stroll through the town square heading to Dr. Hopper’s office for Emma and the baby’s promised follow up appointment. Killian knocks brusquely on the door as Emma excitedly bounces on the balls of her feet waiting for Archie to answer the door.

“Hello Emma, Killian, it is good to see you again. Come in, come in.”

“Hello Archie, how are you old friend?” Killian asks as he pulls Archie into a bracing hug.

“I am doing well, Killian. And how are you Emma? Feeling alright?

“I’ve been well Dr. Hopper, luckily the sickness subsided shortly after our last visit.”

“Archie, please. We discussed this last time.”

“You’re right, apologies Archie.”

“No harm no foul. Shall we proceed with your exam?”

“Yes please.”

Archie leads Emma and Killian back to his examination room, then runs through all the tests and measurements known to him. “Before I give my final assessment, I have some questions. What kind of diet have you been on since I saw you last? Have you been sticking to the foods I recommended before you left last time?”

“Yes. We purchased all the foods you said we would need, granted there were a few days it was difficult to keep anything down. Is there a problem?”

“Well, based on the results I am seeing here, you are either farther along than anticipated, or this isn’t a singular pregnancy. It’s my professional opinion that you are carrying more than one baby.”

“What?” Emma near screeches at the same time Killian says, “Come again?”

“Yes. Based on the results and measurements I have here in front of me, unless you are much further along than eight weeks, I have to say that you are carrying at least two babies.” Archie looks down at his notes confirming his assessment, nodding his head. “Yes, yes. At least two.”

At Archie’s final pronouncement, Emma and Killian just turn to look at each other stunned; they can see the trepidation mirrored in their eyes. Killian breaks the loaded silence first, “Doesn’t matter love, one, two, or twelve, we can handle it. Together.” He gently but firmly gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“You’re right, as long as we’re together, we can accomplish anything.”

Killian leans forward to press a gentle kiss to Emma’s forehead before helping her down from the exam table. Finally the two look around, realizing that Archie has ducked out of the room to give them some privacy to process. As soon as Emma is off the table Killian pulls her into his arms and holds her close while whispering reassurances into her hair. Eventually they pull apart and Emma leans up on her toes to place a sweet kiss to Killian’s lips before they go off in search of Dr. Hopper.

“Archie, mate. I appreciate all of your help with the pregnancy so far, and I have a proposition for you old friend. Come with us to Misthaven, Emma and I would feel so much better knowing you are close at hand should anything happen enroute, or once we make it home. We would like for you to care for her and the babies for the entirety of her pregnancy.”

“If it were anyone else, I would tell them no, but since it is you… certainly my friend. You are family and I am honored that you want me to continue in this pivotal role. It will take me a couple of days to get all of my affairs in order before we can depart.”

“By all means my friend just come to the Jolly when you are ready, will you need more time than two days?

“I think two days should be plenty to get everything sorted. I shall find you at the Jolly.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse us Archie, we have some celebrating and sightseeing to do, and you have business to see to. See you soon my friend.” Killian hugs Archie as he is saying his farewells.

Emma embraces the doctor next. “Thank you Archie, this means the world to us.” She pecks him lightly on the cheek, then steps back and takes Killian’s hand before they depart out into the day.

They spend the afternoon revisiting the rose meadow and celebrating their momentous news. Emma needs rest before they go out for a bite to eat, so they head back to the Jolly. Ensuring Emma is situated comfortably, taking a nap in their cabin, Killian goes in search of his first mate. Pulling Smee aside he informs him that Dr. Hopper will be accompanying them back to Misthaven. He explains the news they learned during their appointment, and the reasoning for the doctor to come along. Out of concern for Emma, Smee offers up his cabin for Archie to use so that he can be close if he is needed.

◊◊◊

Four weeks later the shores of Misthaven are in their sights.

◊◊◊

Chapter Sixteen

Tagging some lovelies to enjoy: @kmomof4, @seriouslyhooked, @laschatzi, @hollyethecurious, @ilovemesomekillianjones, @flslp87, @jennjenn615, @ultraluckycatnd, @xhookswenchx