#friends with benefts

[iamsherlocked1479]

Jealousy

Description: You don’t want to get caught up in a friends with benefits situation with Sherlock so you attempt to go on a date. Key word attempt.

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: 18+ p in v sex, oral (male recevng) kinda shaming but not too bad.

——————————————————————————

Your intentions were never to get caught up in a friends with benefits situation with anyone, especially not with someone as peculiar as Sherlock Holmes, but that was before the worst and probably most stressful days of your lives. He had to admit he couldn’t solve a case and you barely got through the day while managing to keep your job after the mess up with authors and the books they had written, honestly there needs to be less people with the surname smith in the world. You had both found yourself collapsed and slightly drunk on the sofa of 221B, you’re not denying it wasn’t good sex. Because in all honesty it was probably the best sex you’d ever had and he clearly enjoyed it because he kept coming back for more, to be specific exactly twenty three times in the space of three and a half weeks. It was becoming clear he never really was stressed every time, but how can you reject an offer from a man so good looking. You’d always been fond of his dark curls, baby blue eyes and especially the way he sirts clung around his biceps. But you hadn’t looked at him that much? Well that was a lie you found yourself staring at him whenever you could, and he enjoyed it, especially when he mentioned it during the deed. But now it has to stop, you have a date and you’re walking down the stairs in the nicest dress you could find, because you like this guy, and that's when he saw you.

“Can we have a moment?” He stood up eyes already scanning your body

“I told you last time was the last time.” You sigh picking up your keys 

“Why?” He moans almost like a child

“Because it's not good for roommates to be in a friends with benefits situation. It causes problems.” You weren’t exactly lying, every American rom-com had explained that.

“Fine then, what if we weren’t friends? I never liked you much anyways, there's more to life than books you know. One has to open their eyes to broader horizons” he sighed moving in front of the doorway

“Good to know, now one has to go, I have a date.” You mock him as you push past. You feel his hand on your wrist stopping you in your tracks, his touch burned your skin, your body craves him.

“A date why would you do that to yourself?” He asks

“What do you mean?” You say pulling your wrist away subtly checking it to see if he really did burn you, of course he didn’t.

“Why would you want to go to a semi decent restaurant and conversate with a person you barely know and hope that they’re not just looking for a one night stand?” 

“Because I barely know him and he’s a sweet guy who can pick out a good restaurant. How would you know anyways, you’re afraid of commitment.” You snap back but he pulls you again, you can tell by the look in his eyes, somehow you were going to pay for that.

“Don’t make me order you.” His tone depended and his eyes were filled with lust. You rolled your lips together before you said your reply

“I’d like to see you try.” You gulped, never letting go of your eye contact. He let go biting the side of his cheek as he watched you leave the building, he was angry but he felt the need to ruin that confidence. He knew by the end of the night he’d have you on your knees one way or another begging for him.

———————————-

Somehow despite the slight detour of that conversation you had managed to make it to the restaurant on time. Jamie was already there dressed in a smart shirt, fitting for the restaurant you were at. His eyes lit up when he saw you.

“Hey i’m so glad we can finally do this” he stood up and made his way to your side of the table and pulled out your chair.

“Such a gentleman” you laughed as he tucked you into the table. You open the menu and he surprises you with ordering a bottle of wine for the table.

“So how is work?” He asks 

“Oh you know same old same old” you sigh

“Yeah but did you close the Anderson deal?” He pressed on

“Unfortunately not yet, but let's leave work at the door.” You ask

“For now sure.” He smiles, the rest of the date was fairly normal with all the usual things being asked. Your gaze switches from picking at your sub average food towards the man entering the building. Oh god, you could recognize those curls from a mile away. For fuck sake Sherlock. The waiter smiles warmly at him as she leads him to the table exactly next to yours.

“I think- is that, Sherlock Holmes?” Jamie exclaims

“Yup” you sigh “unfortunately so” you head falls into your palms

“Oh I didn’t expect to see you here!” He wears a fake smile as he sits down at his table shuffling his seat.

“You two know each other?” Jamie asks excitedly 

“Yes we do.” Sherlock replies looking at the menu

“Remember that weird roommate I was telling you about?” You glare at him, ensuring he knows what you’re suggesting 

“That's him, no way!” 

“This is Thai food, I thought you hated Thai food.” Sherlock looks at you “and have you not noticed the sub standard way he’s dressed along with the notebook he has to take notes to improve his publishing skills. What was it? Uhh, Jason, are you sure this is a date?” He smirks

“It's Jamie, and uh I- well maybe I was” Jamie stutters and looks over to you.

“Why are you here sherlock? And if you wanted help you could’ve just asked. Don’t lead me on for three months then take me on a crappy date.” You begin to pack up your stuff.

“Wait, please I- uh i’m sorry.” Jamie does move from his seat

“Uh huh sure looks like it, hope you enjoyed your free lesson because my meal was crap.” You look over to the manager of the restaurant who looks somewhat hurt by your words. Feeling bad you slam a £10 note on the table before storming off.

“What can I get you?” The waitress asks Sherlock.

“Sorry but change of plan.” Sherlock folds the menu up and places it on the table and hands a tip to the waitress “sorry for the trouble” he smiles and follows you out of the restaurant.

———————————

You stood outside the door to baker street red with anger, not only did he push his way into the date, but he also ruined it. Yeah maybe it was a bad way but it was supposed to be a way to get over his stupid dick, not that he needed to know that.

“I’m sorry, my intentions weren’t-

“Don’t start that Sherlock, you’re a good detective but a shit liar.” You huff pushing through the door.

“Well i was unsure given how you left” he followed you up the stairs, you stopped in your tracks. Oh he’s really done it now.

“How i left?” You sighed, Sherlock stood back slightly he’d never seen you like this before “you mean me telling you didn’t wanna be your stress relief anymore and actually trying to be an adult. What were you so unsure about? Please enlighten me.”

“How about the past three weeks of practically begging on your knees for me?” He snapped back

“Oh yeah sure because it only takes one person to fuck, how about last week or about two hours ago if I remember correctly, do you want me to go on. I told you we can’t do it anymore! Why do you think I was on this date?!” You paused knowing you’d said too much

“What are you talking about?” He tilts his head

“I may have only gone on this date because I didn’t want to think what we had was becoming something else, you don’t do all these normal people things.” You laugh to yourself “I was trying to get over your dick.” 

“Why should you?” He stepped closer, you took a stepback back until you hit the wall.

“What do you mean?” You ask, he answered swiftly by latching his lips to yours, pining you between him and the wall, your lips part as he pushes his tongue through causing you to send a whimper into his mouth

“Just admit it, you need me. I know I need you.” He picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, he carried you into the apartment and dropped you against the door where he began to take off your clothes. You reached to undo the buttons of his shirt and he smacked your desperate hands away.

“Why?” You whimpered 

“Because you wanted someone else, you denied me of what i wanted. Now you have to wait for what you want, until I decide you’re forgiven.” His eyes were dark with lust as he pawed your body removing your layers. He turned you around and spread your legs apart. You heard the familiar sound of his belt unbuckling and then the tingling sensation of him rubbing his cock up and down your slick folds. He entered you with one hard thrust causing your face to press into the hard wood of the door as he fucked you.

“Fuck-sherlock plea-“ he cut you off covering your mouth with his hand.

“Wouldn’t want Mrs Hudson to hear now do we?” He continued his movement causing the door to rattle, he rubbed against the soft spot inside, his thickness and curve entered you perfectly. His cock rubbed your insides just right, tightening the coil inside you.

“F-fuck Sherlock. Gonna cum.” You whimper as he grunts, pushing you closer to your release. 

“Fuck- so tight.” He moaned. Your body’s heat began to rise as you grew ever closer to you release, he let it build up gripping harder and pushing deeper waiting, until he stopped. He pulled himself out, wiping the sweat from his brow and straightening his collar. 

“What the hell?” You turned around watching as he sat in his chair tucking his hardness away.

“I’m stopping you from getting what you wanted.” He said holding his hands together in his usual pose

“Why would you do that?” You ask slightly irritated at the mess he left you in

“You did it to me, I thought it was only fair.” He tilts his head pulling a sarcastic smirk.

“You’re a drama queen.” You walk over to him “and an ass” you kneel between his legs “and you’re-“ 

“Choose your next words wisely.” His hand gripped your chin pushing your lips together. You gripped his wrists and pulled them away, snaking your hands down his thighs, back to his hardness.

“And you’re incredibly jealous.” You say with a smile, his thighs clenched as your hands run over his crotch and unbuckling his belt. He let out a long sigh as you took his cock into your hands. You pumped him for a moment, allowing his body to relax into the chair before circling your tongue around his tip, your saliva mixing with the salty taste of precum dripping from him. You licked a stripe up his shaft eventually sinking your mouth down, swallowing as much as you could.

“That's it, take it all for me, good girl.” He hissed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You bobbed up and down moaning onto him, sending vibrations down his shaft.  You pulled back up, sucking on his tip and pumping him with your hand. His thighs clenched as he pushed you away. “Not yet, can’t cum too soon.”

“Why? can't go again?” You smile

“Don’t ask stupid questions love.” He sniped back as you straddled his waist “you gonna cum around my cock” he watched as you placed your entrance above his hardness.

“You going to let me this time? Or are you- shit!” You yelped out as he thrusted up into you. You panted over him as you sunk down pushing him deeper

“What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?” He smirked and began pushing back up into you as you grinded along with the pace. Your hands gripped his shoulders to steady yourself as the motion rocked his chair. His lips traced your jawline down to your neck, he sucked leaving red marks along your neckline. His arm wrapped around your waist allowing him to hold you up as he thrusted hard into you.

“Fuck sherlock , j-just like that.” You whispered as he cock pushed deeper rubbing perfectly on that sweet spot inside. He groaned at the sensation of your walls tightening around him.

“Fuck, you gonna cum on my cock, soak it, just the way i like it.” He moaned moving his thumb to your swollen clit adding to the sensation. The chair began to rock and creak with the motion of your bodies colliding.

“Oh god Sh-Sherlock gonna cum.” You squealed as your body clenched around him, his touch burned your skin. You needed him, the way he made you feel didn’t even come close to the way anyone else could.

“I bet Jamie couldn’t make you look like this, paralysed over my cock.” He let out a groan as his pace stuttered. “You want me to cum pretty girl?”  

“Yes, please, I want it.” You begged rocking on his lap.

“Where do you want it pretty girl?” He grunted

“In me, please, I want you to fill me up. Sherlock please, I need it. All yours, only you.” 

“I’ll give it to you- fuck. Gonna paint your insides white.” He bit down on your shoulder, lavishing you neck with kisses as he came, the squelching sound of him pushing his thick white ropes further into you filled the room. You stopped rocking, resting your brow on his with a smile, his eyes locked on yours before he leaned in for an exhausted sloppy kiss. He pulled away admiring the marks he left on your neck.

“What?” You asked as he traced his fingers around them.

“Now when you or anyone else looks at these, they’ll know you’re mine.” He smirked as you sighed 

“Your arrogance will be the death of me”

“As long as its only because i fucked you to your grave, thats fine. But don’t go too soon.” He pulled you in for a tired hug, you hummed happily, savouring the moment. It wasn’t often Sherlock Holmes showed you affection.

[normystical]

I feel like fizzie and asmodeus should have been friends with benefts like they care for each other a lot but as friends and not lovers. And I'm pretty sure stolitz is end game but also I kinda want them to move on from romantic feelings and become friends with benefits but this time they care for each other

They DEFINITELY should've, I heavily agree. They seem romance repulsed to some degree. But nope, apparently it's just some front they put on :/

I haven't thought way too hard about Stolas and Blitzø becoming very good friends with benefits, but now that you mention it, that sounds excellent. Blitzø seems so aro-coded too, I wish he could've been fully aro instead of me having to headcanon him as arospec. Anyway I'm FWBs with someone who has a crush on me and there's no hard feelings there. It's not "abusive" or anything.

"I'll fucking die alone if this goes wrong when I see him tonight!" Maybe Stolas needs to learn that you can have a fulfilling life without romance. That would be a good character arc to put a character through...

[leonaluv]

Jay Ideal type

Jay - Is someone that likes a person who is caring ,family-orinted ,nurting,and likes to be at home. Introvert ,someone that is good with their money and helps others with their wealth.

He likes somone that can confess to him first and has a lot of love for him. Someone that he feels that can take good care of him and protect him. He likes for others to be more aware of who he is as a person and not just what he has to offer to the world.

The lover , bodyguard ,six of cups ,six of pentacles ,the devil reverse

as boyfriend

Jay is the type of lover that feels like a friend that  will not pressure you and someone that you can joke around with him. Jay is gentle and also doesnt mind his partner taking the lead in relationship . He is someone that can be good at leading relationships and being a good listener to his partner . Jay is someone that is also gives good advice to his lovers and he can like teaching his partners new things in love. He sometimes can have a hard time dealing with new changes in relationship so for example  if his partner moves away ,or wants to go public with their relationship. Whatever new big thing that comes his way because from his perspective its hard for him to see how it benefts him but more , his partner having more good things to have in relationship. Dealing with that unexpected change at the moment he doesnt know how to overcome as he is someone who doesnt have a lot of experince in things.

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[connor12]

How to Evaluate a Nonprofit's Social Media Metrics: A Case Study of PETA

Nonprofits play a crucial role in promoting social issue and making a positive impact on society. In today's digital age, social media has become a big part for nonprofiys to engage with their supporters, spread awareness about their cause, and raise funds. In this blog post, we'll evaluate the social media metrics of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals a nonprofit animal rights organization, discuss ways to improve these metrics, and suggest advanced, channel, and behavioral metrics for two of its social media platforms.

Evaluating Vanity Metrics

Vanity metrics are quantitative data that demonstrate the reach and engagement of a social media account. While they can be impressice, they do not necessarily measure the impact of the nonprofit's mission. Let's take a look at PETA's vanity metrics on each platform:

1. Facebook: PETA has 5.4 million followers on Facebook, with an average of 10,000 likes per post.

2. Instagram: PETA has 2.1 million followers on Instagram, with an average of 60,000 likes per post.

3. Twitter: PETA has 1.1 million followers on Twitter with an average of 500 retweets per post.

4. YouTube: PETA has 631,000 subscribers on YouTube, with an average of 30,000 views per video.

While these numbers may seem impressive, they do not necessarily translate to meaningful impact. For example, the number of followers does not indicate the number of people who take action or donate to PETA's cause. Let's discuss ways to improve these metrics and suggest advanced, channel, and behavioral metrics for each platform.

Improving Vanity Metrics

To improve vanity metrics, nonprofits can implement various strategies, including:

1.Posting engaging content: Nonprofits can post content that resonates with their target audience, such as stories about animals who have benefted from their services, behind-the-scenes glimpses of their work, or intrractive posts that encourage audience participation.

2. Using multimedia: Nonprofits can use images, videos, and other multimedia to make their posts more vlsually appealing and shareable.

3. Collaborating with influencers: Nonprofits can collaborate with social media influencers who have a large following and can promote their cause to a wider audience.

4. Encouraging engagement: Nonprofits can encourage their followers to like, share, and comment on their posts, as well as tag their friends and family.

Advanced, Channel, and Behavioral Metrics

In addition to vanity metrics, nonprofits can measure advanced, channel, and behavioral metrics to gain deeper insights into their social media performance. Here are some suggested metrics for two of PETA's social media platforms:

Facebook:

1. Advanced metric: Conversion rate

2. Channel metric: Oranic reach

3. Behavioral metric: Click-through rate

Instagram:

1. Advanced metric: Return on investment.

2. Channel metric: Follower growth rate

3. Behavioral metric: Engagement rate

By evaluating these metrics, PETA can gain a better understanding of it social media performance and make decisions to improve its reach and impact.

1. Advanced metric: Conversion rate (the percentage of people who complete a specific action on PETA's website after clicking on a Facebook ad)

2. Channel metric: Organic reach (the number of people who see PETA's posts on Facebook without any paid promotion)

3. Behavioral metric: Click-through rate (the percentage of people who click on a link in PETA's Facebook post)

Instagram:

1. Advanced metric: Return on investment (the amount of revenue PETA generates from Instagram compared to the amount spent on advertising)

2. Channel metric: Follower growth rate (the rate at which PETA's Instagram follower count increases over time)

3. Behavioral metric: Engagement rate (the percentage of people who like, comment, or share PETA's Instagram posts)

[rotzaprachim]

I absolutely love the autistic Nicky headcannon! It’s such a good interpretation and I hope there ends up being some good fics about it. Personally, I’d like to see “inexperienced with romance but still a competent badass” autistic Nicky fics. It really represents the disasters like me who can still be competent as hell while still being utterly hopeless in the romance department

this is such a lovely comment thank you! i have a few ideas but tbh... it’s sort of like i’ve suddenly gotten more AH HA clarity to the way i’ve viewed and written him, but I’ve always viewed/written him that way, even if i couldn’t quite put my finger on it? but yes actually i would like. this exact fic. done well. because i too am Competent as hell at like, certain specific things (by which i mean competitive speed debating about complex topics i started to learn a week ago but NOT spelling words or easily being able to tell left and right apart) but have two different and completely opposite bizarre bending romance situations! it’s a vibe. 

anyway under the cut for being slightly nsfw but

my friend and i were joking around with that headcanon that after all the years of seminary + the military Nicolo was in fact very sexually experienced by the time of his first death, because it’s sdafsdfdsf hilarious. but anyway we love an odd couple/romantic dramedy situation, and absolutely picturing some situation where Nicolo and Yusuf had extremely good sex shortly after they stopped killing each other and afterwards Nicolo was like ah ok now gonna go wash off and then go fall asleep over there with my own bedroll six feet apart this is gonna be another one of those Friends With Benefts/Brothers in Christ Situations and then Yusuf “Most Romantic Man Alive” Al Kaysani was like where are you going... all the way over there... obviously we were going to cuddle and fall asleep spooning and then watch the sun rise tommorrow morning... make breakfast and kiss each other softly on the forhead.... and Nicolo was like ???? ok so THAT is the part i am not Comprehending 

[flow-green]

19-08-2021

 “I think I’ve never had more chaotic year than this one,” I confessed one evening when we drove in a car somewhere. My SO gave me a warm look and I checked to the back seat where my Charlie-baby was sleeping. If somone would have told me year and a half ago that 2021 will be a true turnaround in my life, when I will throw away all the life chains and take full control, I would have rolled mye eyes and gotten back to my endless vicious circle of career. I think ever since 17-years old I have followed the norms the society has set up: graduate high school, sprint through university, meanwhile make sure you work so you won’t get drowned in depts, get a job for your field of interest, in the meantime take some loan for some random house and if you have a moment, please, make some babies. Ever since I was a child, I knew right away: that’s not me. I don’t know what it is that makes me want to break these frames. But, oh well, there is no point to raise my voice for my own good as all the other people around me are nicely stable in the system. Some of my exes are on the same line: if you are not a parent by age 31 and do not own a gorgeous house in the suburbs while paying a sickly huge loan, meanwhile ignoring your family, friends and hobbies to make ends meet just so you could work yourself to deah by age 40, then you are a loser.

Few weeks ago in Saaremaa, while tipping my toes and feet into the warm and comforting waters of Estonian sea, I realized where I have drifted with my life. Only now I have started to realized that, f**k me sideways, I am actually a living human being. A LIVING person. I LIVE.

About 2 months ago, near summer solstice, I finally felt the finalizing ticking in my brain that pushed me gently to the edge of unknown. “Will you?” the life asked and motioned me to jump. “Or will you stay here forever, wondering what’s down there?” And so, with shivering hands, I clicked ‘send’ button on the mail that delivered my resignation letter to my boss. Done. Over half a year full of mental terror and a slow suicide will come to an end. At this point I had insane regrets. How am I supposed to throw away an opportunity and 6-year long career just because I do not want to live anymore? Now you’re probably thinking I am being a drama queen and overexaggerating. Oh, dear god, no. There were days, where everything started to tumble down in one go: my love life, my family relations, friends and work relations. On these days I switched myself and my phone off, listened to some serious melancholic tunes, sat alone for hours or drove around with a car and now, admitting for the first time: I hoped that something will happen and I do not need to live here anymore. I admitted this once also in my therapy, that I have frozen up while driving, not really giving a damn about my leg on gas pedal and about the speed.

I am once again a fat, useless, lazy, clumsy, slow and unorganized. Blessed with sore black eyes, a girl with unstable nervs and flaked nails. And all this just to give myself to a work which does not appreciate any sacrifices I make.

And I did it. This is MY life. My path and my decision, I ain’t going anywhere and even if I do, I’ll go with a smile on my face and as a queen for a day.

Few days ago I realized with full heart that this was one of the most important decisions in my life. I went for a run, as I have started to pick it up again. I went and set a goal to run approx 20 minutes. I had time. No rush. Only responsibility waiting for me was one project to improve a home page of our fresh company, but there was no strict deadline nor a passive aggressive boss-lady stalking my every move and making sure I am around even off-hours. So, my 20 minute run became to a 1 hour run, which was successful, nicely progressive and easy. I enjoyed every minute, because I was present. I had nowhere to hurry. I did not worry about the future or the past. I was just excisted. And I breathed.

I think I have cried more this year than in total for all past years. In my 9 to 5 appartment cubical lifestyle I always pushed away everything that demanded at least some movement out of comfort zone. For exaxmple I always closed in when my ex partner had an idea to do some changes. Well, true, his changes did not comply with my dreams. I did not want to get a huge loan to buy a house and sprint out 2 babies just because ,,Martin and Marge had their second kid in their gorgeous house and Martin is only 1 year older than me.” OK, is nice for them I guess? Every time these silly arguments started to come up, I switched myself off into my safety bubble, all alone. I let no emotions, chaotic situatons to influence myself and I just slowly flew on my laid down path, with eyepatches on. I always knew I want something different. I wanted to fight and be heard. Every time there was a conflict at work, with a friend or family member or with a partner, I eliminated it in the early stages and just ignored the rest.

And when these eyepatches were finally removed, everything else followed. I had no pink glasses or filters for emotons. Real life was there for me, but not always in a bad way. Real life offered everything, you only had to have guts to reach out and take it, with all its plusses and minuses. Take it, dominate, take responsibility, but don’t just float by. Get yourself togeter, notice, do, learn and experience. If not now then... when?

This half of a year has thrown so many obstacles and opportunities on my way and I have caught most of them. I guess one of the most difficult period was spending some insane time at a house in the middle of nowhere, without any water or normal comforts. This has made me appreciate small benefts of our everyday life.

I think I have mentioned this earlier as well, that February and March were probaby the hardest months this year. I was given a challenge to overcome and boy, it was tough. Namely, I got pregnant. As a woman who has never wanted to become a mom due to several and long reasons which I will not discuss today, I was in a cocmplete shock. I felt happy, scared, angry. Why now? Universe has its twisted sense of humour and it turned out that the pregnancy is not carriable for medical reasons and abortion is a must. I did not have a single day to stay home and mourn and endure grief. Oh, no, they needed me back to work ASAP. So I ignored the pain of loss and carried on with even more enormous work tempo to keep up. This period started a chain reaction which pulled me cruelsomely to the edge of the cliff. Work does not sleep, it waits impatiently. Even on these two horrible days I had to go through with the process, I did some work since I had become irreplacable.

All the emotions sealed up just blasted out as soon as some smaller bebble hit my bicycle. I cried hysterically, screamed. There were no days where my eyes weren’t bloodshot and with dark underlines.

In some sort of a sick twisted way I felt good, since I was needed, everything depends on me and I am sure it will get paid off nicely in the end when I have worked until my nose bleeds. In this tunnel vision I did not realize that skipped recovery and unresolved grief had made me this maniacal, delusional self-centered zombie, who lived for her workdays. All my free time I spent worrying about next work day. I did not notice anymore how my mom is doing, how are my friends and what is my partner up to. Every time we went off to one of our van trips I just existed somewhere in my thoughts about how much there is still to do. And it’s even more sadder, that I did not even notice myself anymore in the free world.

“Yea, but how would you go on?” was the main question I was asked when with a shaky voice I admitted that I need to quit my job right now and don’t want to take such responsibilities for a while now, only for myself. Everyone can do it. If there is a will, there is a way.

I am happy that I have at least won almost the entire battle with eating disorder, although I have to admint I am not proud over the inner criticizm about my body, which has grown 8 kg heavier since last summer. This means I still have days I hide under baggy clothes and just wait until these dark thoughts pass. There are days where I absolutely veto going to the beach because ‘it’s cold’. Actually I am reminding myself of that year where I had a killer six-pack, hip bones and tiny bikinies fit me so well, but now I look more like a curvy, slightly soft female not nearly showing signs of being physically active. Although, I am now in that golden zone where my weight is not going up nor down almost at all, no matter how much or little or what kind of foods I eat (plant based always of course). I guess it is positive, my body has found it’s perfect zone, but I--- don’t really like it. This mentality here is something now that I have to work with, with all my spare and peaceful time.

Since 25 July I am (f)unemloyed. And happy. I have made sure that I will be secured, will not be homeless and have food and I have a first step of a plan prepared. Priority for now is to help myself out of this destructive black hole that influences not only me but other close ones as well.

I don’t have black shadows under my eyes anymore. I sleep deep, without any random wake ups, I finally have time and motivation to cook, bake and test out recipes that have been collecting dust since forever. From day to day I get back to introduce myself to my long lost hobbies like kite surf, reading, writing, drawing and yoga.

I have finally startrd to realize that next to me there are people that I love unconditionally and to whom I have shown insanely rude attitude. Have you ever felt that re-falling in love again? I am currently feeling it with tripple multiplications, because I have once again fallen in so much love with my dog, my boyfriend and my hero on this topsy-turvy road, my family, friends and life itself.

I will not even take a glance anymore to that 100 promises I made earlier this year. Life is just so much different with completely new challenges. If anything, then I can mark this time period here as my new and fresh chapter for my life.

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

Been absent for a little bit (still kind of am), want to set up another queue now I’ve finished DS9 for the second time, but it’ll be half a moment. Some thoughts though:

I feel more satisfied with Sisko’s ending than I did originally. It still felt a bit... lessened by the fact that it came after the end of the war, but I’d have to think deeper about what I might do differently with all that beneft of hindsight.

I am very grateful to Avery Brooks for insisting that they put in a line about Sisko coming back, I am gyuuurgh that Jake and he didn’t really get a moment, although I obviously love the last shot.

I just wish there had been more Jake overall in the last season - more of him and Nog, more of him and Benjamin and Kasidy, but mainly just more of him because as it stands is Jake that much more prepared to lose his dad than he was in the Visitor? Kinda? Probably? But we don’t really see that imo. I do hc that he gets a job at some main Federation newspaper and he helps to raise his sister, but I’d have loved, idk... even a reaction that he’s getting a sister would be nice.

Also are Benjamin/Kasidy the most underrated canon pairing in Star Trek, because personally I think so!!! (Personally I like them better than Picard/Beverly)

I’m less annoyed about Dukat - still think his storylines in s7 are weaker than the rest and could’ve been better served by not seeing him as often, but he and Kai Winn are the OG DS9 bad guys and I think his storyline makes sense (the literal appropriation of Bajoran identity and trauma is perfectly shudder-inducing).

I will never be satisfied with Julian and Ezri’s ending however watching it again it’s less... cringy for me? not because I ship them, but because I can see how these two characters might find each other at this exact time and mistake it for something deeper, when in actual fact they just need that contact and it’ll last a few weeks and the probably they’ll get awkward and finally be like “huh, we’re just good friends - really good looking good friends.” I think the biggest clue as to their actual relationship as I like it comes in their very last scene where they go off to the holosuite together: Absolute Fucking Nerd-friends.

Kira and Garak just ;.; I love my boys! I want them to be friends post-canon, just as much my HC now as when I first finished the show.

I didn’t cry this time? I mean, I cried a tiny bit and then stopped and then spent the rest of the day with my eyes stinging and then I randomly started crying because I got annoyed about a dumb writing trope and yeah. Will probably cry again, because that was unsatisfying. Think I dried out my tear-ducts finishing Seven Pillars a week ago, Last Of Us 2 over the weekend, and a LOTR extended rewatch two days before. Note to self: Do Not Finish Multiple Things In A Short Space Of Time!!! You will feel hollow.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | March 2019

Happy 1D Fanworks Appreciation Day! Sending out all my love to the authors and artist who make this fandom so special. Here are all the fics I read and loved this month:

The act of making noise || suspendrs || famous/not famous - 10k Louis's famous, Harry has no idea who he is, and they get snowed in together at a ski lodge in Vermont.

If You're The Storm, Then I'm The Chaser || LiveLaughLoveLarry || exes to lovers - hurt/comfort - angst - abusive relationship - 21k Louis is back in town for the first time since he and Harry broke up six months ago. He's not sure what would hurt more, if Harry has moved on or if he's still as torn up as Louis is. He never even considered that Harry would be acting like a completely different person. And maybe he really is as happy as he keeps insisting, but Louis really doesn't think so. Just Go With It || rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife) || meet-cute - misunderstandings - awkward firting - 6k Harry has no idea how to escape awkward situation but luckily for him, Louis swoops in to help.Only One at the Finish Line Only One at the Finish Line || Anonymous || a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - dysphoria - hurt/comfort - 9k “What don’t I know?!” Louis shouts, and then Harry is rounding on him, close enough that he can feel the heat of his body, the rage and the glory and the pain of it so close that it blinds him. “I want to be another alpha’s omega,” is what he says, and it comes out like something reckless, something wild. Like he doesn't care anymore if Louis hates him or not, if Louis understands, he just needs to speak his truth aloud to darkness, to the slender pines that surround them like a jury panel. This love will keep us through blinding of the eyes || Anonymous || a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - strangers to lovers - 9k When Louis' friends bring him to a strip club for his 18th birthday, the last thing he would have expected is leaving with a crush, let alone a crush on another alpha. Make you never wanna leave || Anonymous || a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - friends with benefts - friends to lovers - 9k Harry is an omega teen who has trouble getting wet even when he's turned on, Louis is his omega best friend who helps him experiment. In a completely platonic way, of course. Got Me an Appetite || Anonymous || a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - Girl Direction - fluff - pwp - 8k So it's something, and Louis isn't sure how to approach it. She doesn't want to sound ungrateful. The past few months have been heaven, and she doesn't want to make Harry feel like Louis doesn't worship the ground she walks on (ok, a bit over dramatic, but sometimes it feels like that). She just wants to make her girlfriend come. The way that you're thrilling me || Anonymous || a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - friends to lovers - 12k the one where Harry and Louis don’t enjoy sex - until they do. This land is more than dreams || olaveya || fluff - cowboy harry - light dom/sub - dirty talk - 12k Louis is a student taking a gap year, travelling through the States. His plans change when he meets a cute cowboy-wannabe in one of the towns. Fold It Up Like Origami || GMTYUniverse || meet-cute - 3k The one where Harry goes clubbing in his best hook-up shirt, but Gemma's unborn baby has horrible timing. Maybe one night stands are just not meant for him. Fool For You || flowercrownfemme & starpoweredradio || Royalty - past character death - fairy tale elements - secret relationships - angst - internalized homophobia - fluff - 46k In which Harry is a brooding prince who's scarcely smiled since the death of his mother and Louis is the dashing jester hired to change that. Back and forth (i kinda like it that way) || ariadne_odair || Girl Direction - pining - 20k Girl!direction where they all work at a magazine. Liam is the big boss, Zayn is her girlfriend and raises her eyebrows a lot. Louis is 24 and a sports journalist, and not equipped to deal with Harry, who's a gorgeous 21 year old intern, that will be leaving at the end of the summer - so it's not like she should get involved anyway, right? Failure to Launch || Rearviewdreamer || Failure To Launch AU - fake/pretend relationship - 30k Desperate times call for desperate measures when Louis’ mother realizes her adult son may never leave the comfort of home, so she hires Harry, a highly-recommended professional interventionist who’s skilled enough to help push her darling son out of the bloody nest. Do You Wanna Ride || phdmama || miscommunication - 4k When Liam's attractive new business partner wins riding lessons with Harry, hilarity ensues. All I Want Is To Fall With You || 2tiedships2 || a/b/o - strangers to lovers - road trips - 16k The weekend ski trip where omega Louis discovers that he can’t change a tire and his skiing skills are debatable but still manages to find the alpha who will change his life. Wine Not? || abrighteryellow, allwaswell16,, catfishau (dinosaursmate), crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks), disgruntledkittenface, FallingLikeThis, FullOnLarrie, jaerie, Justalittlelouislove , kiwikero, LadyLondonderry, Layne Faire (HisDarlin), lululawrence, momentofclarity, phdmama, QuickedWeen, Rearviewdreamer, red_special, SadaVeniren, someonethatsfunny, taggiecb || hate to love - enemies to lovers - 20k Louis’ Wine Dive is a bar run by the people for the people. Wine Styles is a boutique tasting room that caters to a more highbrow clientele. When their worlds clash on a beautiful Charleston street, one of these owners may find that an ounce of pretension doesn’t stand a chance against a pound of perseverance. Strawberries & Cigarettes || dimpled_halo || a/b/0 - High School - friends to lovers - secret relationship - forbidden love - exes to lovers - post-break up - 76k Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other. Like Water Over Fire (Like Water On Fire) || MCSSymon || Royalty - modern royalty - 119k Prince Harry has 46 men and 13 weeks to find the husband of his dreams, Louis has a limited amount to time to live out a royal fantasy. They might just be exactly what the other needs.

[itashiro-hitsuchiha]

Neo: ❤️ 💙💖 Erza: ❤️💖

send emojies for what kind of dynamics you want to plot 

❤️ romantic 

💖 friends with benefits + unspoken feelings 

💙 enemies to lovers

Quite an interesting set of things. Not too sure on how Jaune and Neo would reach that sort of relationship but perhaps we can figure something out.

Erza is the tough one to work with. While she's not oblivious or ignorant of romance or even the friends with benefts kind of relationship, she does not really know how to be in those kind of relationships.

[drsilverfish]

Werewolf My Beloved... 12x16

Werewolves epitomise the journey Sam and Dean have been on since the beginning of the show - away from their father’s black and white view of the supernatural towards a more nuanced “grey area” perspective. 

Remember Madison the werewolf from 2x17 Heart?

 Sam fell for her but then they all realised she’d been bitten, and turned. The Winchesters were unable to cure her, so she begged Sam to kill her, and, very reluctantly, he did so. This was giant mirror at the time for their father’s instruction to Dean that, if he couldn’t save Sam (from the fate Azaezel had planned for him) he’d have to kill hm.

Dean gave up his father’s black and white view of the supernatural (which was much more deeply ingrained in him, the “good little solider”, than in Sam, the rebellious one) first and foremost because of his love for his psychic-powers, fed-with-demon-blood-as-a-baby little brother. He refused to follow his father’s (posthumous) orders.

But, it took Dean a long and rocky road (Castiel being an early exception) to extend that beneft of the doubt to other supernatural creatures. He killed Sam’s childhood friend Amy the kitsune in 7x03 The Girl Next Door, precipitating a major fight between the brothers. 

Dean’s growth is clearly evidenced in 8x04 Bitten, another werewolf episode, in which he agrees (to Sam’s surprise) to let Kate the werewolf go. Of course, much of this growth has been precipitated by Dean’s purgatory friendship with Benny the vampire, something Sam doesn’t find out about until the next episode, 8x05 Blood Brother (when Sam has his own prejudiced moment).

Garth gets a mention in Meredith Glynn’s 12x16 Ladies Drink Free. 

The last time we saw Garth was in, 9x12 Sharp Teeth, happy with his pure-blood werewolf wife Bess, having been wolfed himself (to save his life following a car accident). Again, the Winchesters make the choice to let them go in peace (as they are not attacking humans).

This is the episode where Garth tells Dean “Look, amigo, I know this all looks nuts. But I found it. Love and a family? Who cares where that comes from?” A mirror, in the subtext for Dean/ Castiel.

Werewolf narrative on SPN thus travels from 2x17 doomed love (Madison/ Sam) where the Winchesters make the choice to kill the werewolf, through 8x04 Bitten where the Winchesters make the choice to let the werewolf go (and 10x04 Paper Moon where they meet Kate the werewolf again and let her go a second time) to 9x12 Sharp Teeth where their friend Garth has found love with a werewolf.

From doomed love (Sam/ Madison) to happy love (Garth/ Bess) - a mirror, in subtext, for Dean and Castiel’s search to find love with one another, despite the fact that they are from different species, one of them being supernatural (and despite the prohibition on angel/ human love spelled out for us in 12x10, Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets). 

In 12x16 the Winchesters (semi thanks to Mick) finally find a cure for early-stage werewolf bite and Claire (whom they love like a daughter) is saved. Is Claire’s transition in 12x16, back from werewolf to human, another mirror in subtext, for Castiel eventually becoming human? 

Certainly, the fact that Mick spends the episode in a tan trench-coat, links the subtext of SPN werewolf narrative, i,e. the transition from doomed love to happy love, firmly to Castiel.

Thus, no monster more epitomises the grey areas of Sam and Dean’s supernatural world than the werewolf. Sam has slept with one (albeit neither of them knew that at the time) and their friend Garth is one.

Therefore, it’s no surprise a werewolf episode should rear its head mid-season 12, or that the theme of the season, a black and white view of the supernatural (John Winchester’s, and now apparently Mary Winchester’s perspective) vs a grey area view of the supernatural (their sons’ perspective) should be explicitly spelled out in it, by Dean (grey area) to BMOL Mick (black and white). 

The theme of parents vs children is further reinforced through the return of Claire Novak, Sam and Dean’s semi-adopted wayward daughter.  

At this point in their lives, if Claire had chosen to live as a werewolf, Sam and Dean would have supported her to do that (without killing anyone) - not something John, or at this point, Mary, would have approved of.

This clash of values chez Winchester generations is going to come to a head, and all the signs point to (Sam and) Dean’s connection to Castiel being at the center of it.  

[pinkpink-lemonade]

UGH got into a huge argument w a friend (she's conservative, VERY pro-military as her dads an army guy, against benefits) about scottish independence 2day and she kept spreading all this bullshit abt how the snp want to ""cancel the military"" and then she went on n on abt ~benefts scroungers~ saying that most ppl on benefits "have like 10 kids just so they can get the money and refuse to work" (her words) and i just :(((( most o my friends agreed w her too bc i go to a rly tory school and :/

Aaaaaa why are unionists like That?? Terrible arguments n terrible reasoning, I’ve heard the ’“’” benefit scrounges!!!“”“ one a million times.

Tell me where n when n al come and take u away from the Tory school so u dinny have tae listen tae them anymore❤

[confessionsofan18yearold]

Having a friend with beneft relieves your appetite from love/lust and other cravings of the kind and that's nice