#from 2 people catching covid and one losing their voice and having to throw on a bunch of understudies.

[youremyonlyhope]

.

[supernovanim]

Neighbours Part 3

Some people found my stuff and read it! And in celebration of that, here’s the third and final part. It’s a bit longer as I was enjoying writing. In personal news, I still have no job but had an interview this morning that went well. And my driving instructor got Covid so now I have to quarantine. Fun times!

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

Summary: Dylan annoys you so you decide to torture him for a bit. Then hot stuff happens. The End.

Pairing: Female Reader x Dylan O’Brien

Warnings: Smut. Voyeurism. Actual boning.

Word count: 2,622

Working from home wasn’t as fun as you’d initially hoped. Once you’d got over the novelty of being able to wear whatever you wanted, and decided pyjamas weren’t helpful to productivity, it was pretty much like normal work just with more video calls. You’d set up your home office in a corner of the living room next to the wide doors to the garden. Well away from potential distractions in the kitchen.

Speaking of which, you’d got some messages from Dylan

I’m bored, can I come over?

No, I’m working

Please? I’m so bored. Let me come over, I promise I won’t distract you.

Liar. You’d be a terrible distraction and you know it. I’m sure you can amuse yourself somehow.

You firmly set your phone aside and turned back to your laptop, losing yourself in the project. It wasn’t exactly scintillating, but you got into the flow of writing and didn’t look back up until almost lunchtime.

Now to grab some food. Maybe with a side dish of hot neighbour watching. You looked down at your outfit – as your AC was still bust you’d gone for very short denim cutoffs and a tiny vest top. You genuinely hadn’t worn it to tease Dylan, but there was no harm in having a little fun.

You sidled into the kitchen half hoping he wouldn’t notice, and headed straight for the fridge. No sooner had you got it open and were reaching for some salad when your phone rang.

“Have you finished work now?” Dylan pleaded

You closed the fridge door and looked up at his house, where he was standing wearing basketball shorts and no shirt, looking deliciously dishevelled.

“Not really” you responded sadly “I’ve got time for lunch, then I’ve got a zoom call, and I’m on a deadline”

“How much time for lunch?” he asked contemplatively, one eyebrow raised

“Not enough time for you to come over. Don’t even tempt me, seriously”

“No, no…that’s not what I was thinking, honest” he explained quickly, running one hand through his hair. “But...but maybe we could have a repeat of earlier? That outfit’s great. You look…great”

“Thanks” you grinned “But I’m only wearing it becau-“

Dammit. You were interrupted by another call on your cell.

“I’m really sorry Dylan, I’ve got to take this call it’s work” you blurted out, switching calls and shooting him an apologetic look through the glass.

“Hey Y/N. Sorry for the late notice but we really need to go over some stuff before the video call”. It was your boss, in a pretty typical bit of awful timing.

“Sure. OK, what’s up?” you replied, hoping you didn’t sound too annoyed.

As you lent back against the fridge and listened to your boss go over a million tiny points that really didn’t need to be discussed right now, you looked back up at where Dylan was at his window, rolling your eyes.

He looked irritated. He lent his forehead against the window in exasperation, visibly exhaling. You knew how he felt – bored, annoyed and turned on. You tried to focus on your boss’s voice to distract you from imagining licking the mole below Dylan’s left ear.

You saw him shift his weight a little and open an eye to look at you. A small smile played across his lips as one of his hands moved towards the waistband of his shorts. You frowned – this really wasn’t the time. But his hand kept moving down, until you could see the outline of his fingers palming against the growing bulge in his shorts. He looked back up at you and winked.

“Shit. Oh, sorry Karen I didn’t mean you” you hastily told your boss, turning away from the window “I…um…knocked something over. I’ll need to clean it up – can I call you back?”

“Don’t be long Y/N – this is important!”

You hung up and turned back to look at Dylan. You were seriously annoyed, but he just looked smug. You saw him reach for his cellphone again and ring you back.

“That was completely unacceptable” you snapped “That was my boss! I can’t believe you tried that”

“Oh come on, Y/N. It was just a little fun…you looked bored”

“Just because you don’t have to work right now doesn’t mean I can be available whenever you want me. It’s fucked up Dylan. I’ve got to go ring my boss back – I don’t want to talk to you any more”

And with that you hung up, turning on your heel and marching out of the kitchen without a backward glance. It felt good, for now at least.

_____

You tortured Dylan for two full days, ignoring his messages and calls.

You walked around your kitchen in tiny outfits, purposefully not looking out the window. When it got dark you walked around in just your favourite underwear, licking icecream from a spoon.

You wore your tightest yoga pants and took your mat out by the small pool, pretty certain you could be seen from Dylan’s deck doing downward dog. The crashing sound of someone walking into a sun lounger confirmed this.

You got a delivery of new sex toys and underwear and opened the package on your kitchen counter, holding the large rabbit vibrator up to inspect it thoughtfully. You don’t think you imagined the muffled “goddammit!” that came from next door.

After two days you thought he’d probably got the message. Besides, the vibrator wasn’t really enough. You threw on your favourite short red summer dress, walked into your kitchen and called him back.

He answered on the first ring “Y/N! I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. It won’t happen again, promise”

He appeared at the window looking suitably contrite.

“It better not Dylan. What do you want from me?”

“This isn’t about what I want. It’s about what you want. What would you like me to do? What do you…like?”

“Hmm. Good question. Firstly, I like you with no shirt on”

“Done” he answered quickly, almost dropping the phone in his haste to pull his shirt over his head. You admired the way his lean arm muscles flexed as he reached to catch it.

“Since you asked nicely, I’ll tell you. I like lots of things. I like imagining licking that mole under your left ear”

His hand came up to rub at the spot unconsciously, as his ears turned pink.

“I like being kissed passionately. I like being pressed up against walls and held. I like my neck being sucked on while I grind up against a guy’s thigh.”

He closed his eyes and you heard a low groan

“I like my wrists being pinned above my head. I like my clothes being ripped off. I like my nipples being touched. Um…”

“Go on. Tell me Y/N, tell me what else you like”

You took a deep shaky breath

“I like fingers in me... I like fingers inside me and a mouth on my clit, tasting me. And then I like being fucked really hard – being pressed into mattresses or bent over counters or…”

His eyes shot open and looked at you “God…fuck that sounds so good. Please…please let me do that. Let me come over. I could make you feel so good, the whole neighbourhood would hear you scream my name” his voice was soft and low. “C’mon Y/N, you know you want to”

You ran a hand down the front of your dress slowly, enjoying the way the fabric brushed against your skin. Across the way you saw Dylan’s eyes darken with lust. You felt powerful, reckless, and very, very turned on.

Fuck it. “Alright, but be quick before I change my mind”

You giggled as Dylan scrambled away from the window, almost tripping up in his haste.

“Agh, I’ll only be a minute. Got to put shoes on” he babbled.

“You’ve got 5 minutes to get here before I start without you” you instructed, hanging up the phone and leaving the kitchen.

Just a few minutes later you heard a tap on your front door. Opening it you were confronted with a slightly out of breath Dylan, shirt on inside out.

“That was pretty qui..” you started, but were stopped by his lips meeting yours, backing you up hard against the hallway wall as the door slammed behind him. His body pressed fully against yours as his hands tangled in your hair.

You moaned, parting your lips as he slipped his tongue in between them. You could feel his hard length pressing into your thigh already as he pinned you to the wall. He moved his lips to your neck, sucking gently on a spot just under your ear that made you moan even louder.

“You sound so sexy right now” he murmured against your skin “wonder what other sounds I can get you to make”

His hands moved downwards, lifting your dress and running along your thighs. His long fingers brushed gently against the outside of your underwear, and you felt yourself bucking your hips towards him, desperate for more contact. Slowly he hooked his fingers underneath the waistband and pulled your panties down your legs and off, throwing them to one side.

Kneeling in front of you he lifted your dress and licked his lips slowly, looking up at you.

“You look pretty wet already, Y/N. Been thinking about this?”

You nodded and swallowed hard, too desperate to form full sentences. “Yes. Please”

“Please what?” he smirked

“Please lick me, taste me, fuck me. Anything, just do something please Dylan” you gasped frantically

He smiled and brought his face towards your core, and you felt him delicately lick a stripe across your slit, causing your legs to shake slightly as you lent against the wall.

Placing his hands behind your knees he hooked your legs over his shoulders, positioning himself between them and pressing you up the wall. You ran your hands through his scruffy hair, tugging slightly and eliciting a low sound from him as his mouth returned to pleasuring you. He continued to lick and suck, his tongue quickly moving across your clit as a tingling sensation started to spread across your body. Another moan left your mouth as you felt the warmth pooling in your belly.

Slowly you felt one of his fingers at your entrance, then two, pulsing in and out slowly.

“So, so good. Going to...g-going to” you stuttered, and he sped up his movements, sucking on your clit and twisting his fingers slightly.

“Cum for me Y/N, want your pretty pussy soaking before I fuck you” he growled, the vibrations from his words tipping you over the edge as you came hard, crying out his name, vision blurring.

Carefully he unhooked your legs and stood up, moving his body against yours. You could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you deeply. It turned you on even more, as you felt your arousal on the inside of your thighs.

Desperately you tugged at the hem of his shirt, wanting to touch him, feel him against you. He pulled it over his head and you placed your hands on his chest, feeling the warm skin under the pads of your fingertips.

He continued to kiss your neck as his fingers fiddled with the buttons on the front of your dress, becoming frustrated. With only two buttons undone he let out an exasperated sigh and tore at the fabric instead, popping the buttons off the front and leaving your bra exposed.

“hey, this is my favourite dress” you scolded, but he distracted you by kissing down the swell of your breasts and pushing the fabric of your bra down.

“I’ll make it up to you, promise. Christ, these are lovely” he sighed, as he attached his lips to one nipple and bit softly. It felt so good, you forgot entirely about the dress and tipped your head back, breathing out in satisfaction.

“Dylan...maybe we should take this to the bedroom”

“Yeah, the problem with that is if I’m not inside you within the next 5 minutes, things are going to get very messy”

You gasped at his words and moved your hands underneath his waistband, gripping his length. He hissed as you moved your thumb across the tip.

His eyes closed as he breathed deeply. “See what I mean – careful now”

“Been thinking about this, Dylan?” you looked at him teasingly. “Been thinking about fucking me?”

“God yes, I’ve not stopped thinking about it since that night you walked into your kitchen in that damn sexy underwear. Can’t stop thinking about it. Pretty much been hard ever since”

“Well maybe we should do something about that then”. And you unbuttoned his shorts and pushed them down slightly, his cock springing free.

You continued to palm him with your hand until he grabbed your wrist “t-told you to be careful, you keep going like that I’m definitely going to ruin your dress”

He raised your wrist above your head and pinned it there with one hand, reaching into the pocket of his shorts with the other and removing a small foil package. He ripped it open with his teeth and rolled the condom down his length, positioning himself at your entrance.

As he slid slowly into you his lips met yours, and you both moaned at the feeling. His length filled you up, pressing against all the sensitive spots on your walls. Once he was fully in he stilled, waiting for you to adjust. You shifted slightly against the wall, letting him hold you up. Once you’d got used to him you nodded, bucking your hips to encourage him to move.

Slowly he slid in and out of you, positioning himself to hit just right. You felt weightless, everything centred on the feeling of his movements as he thrust in and out.

You tangled your hand in his hair and brought your mouth to his ear. “Harder, Dyl”

He groaned and moved faster, slamming your back against the wall though you barely felt the pain. You hooked one leg up around his hip, deepening his access. He was hitting that sweet spot inside you and you felt a tingle begin at your toes and your walls start to clench.

“Fuck, you’re so tight” he choked out, his movements starting to become sloppy “I-I’m so close already”

He snaked a hand between your bodies and found your clit with his thumb, rubbing over the sensitive nub. The coil within you started to tighten again and your toes curled. Oh god, it felt so good and you wanted the feeling to go on forever, but as he bit softly at a spot just below your ear you felt yourself come apart

“Yes, yes, there, god don’t stop Dylan, yes!”

As your walls clenched around him you felt him tense and release, filling the condom and crying your name against your neck. Your combined moans filled the small hallway.

Slowly you came back down to earth and you felt him slip out of you, sighing at the feeling of loss. Your hands tangled in his hair again as he pressed a kiss to your damp forehead.

“That was incredible. So much better than drinking beer on my own. Thanks for letting me come over. Eventually”

“My pleasure” you smirked. “Do you want a drink or something now?”

“Oh no, I’m barely getting started. First I’m going to fuck you over your kitchen counter like I’ve been thinking of for the last few days. Then we might make it to the bedroom”

You smiled “I like the sound of that very much”

“Good to hear” he smiled, as he hooked your legs around his waist and picked you up. “Welcome to the neighbourhood”

THE END

If you liked this fic, please reblog - it helps people find it (even if you don’t have many followers! Its an algorithm thing i think, tumblr will put it higher in the tags)

[niccirobertson]

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve made a concerted effort to distance myself from just about every news feed and platform that has nothing better to do than report the latest covid statistics. The reason for this is quite honestly, like many people I have had enough. Despite my best efforts, the media bombardment is so pervasive that an update got through, and instead of deleting it, I did the math.

In South Africa at the time of receiving that update there were supposedly 1 039 161 positive cases counted, with 20 033 deaths. I am no maths genius but it wasn’t a stretch to figure out that this was around 2%. I then looked for the data for the United States which is also around 2% and the UK which is around 3%. On average this virus has a mortality rate of 2.5% with the majority of those deaths affecting the elderly and those with pre-existing conditions, otherwise known as co-morbidities. Except that the data reflected is questionable. 


When you sift through the conspiracy theories and start talking to credible professionals in the medical industry you begin to see a pattern emerging. Looking at the data of years gone by, pneumonia and flu viruses year on year have also resulted in between a 1% and 2% death rate. So why the hysteria? 


According to the WHO: A pandemic is defined as “an epidemic occurring worldwide, or over a very wide area, crossing international boundaries and usually affecting a large number of people”. The classical definition includes nothing about population immunity, virology or disease severity. By this definition, pandemics can be said to occur annually in each of the temperate southern and northern hemispheres, given that seasonal epidemics cross international boundaries and affect a large number of people. This happens every year but the world doesn’t come to a grinding halt because of it. 


According to the British Medical Journal the PCR test is inaccurate, picking up dead and ineffective virus particles that may be found on most people, most of the time. It states that the PCR test, never designed for this kind of testing has an error margin of 97%. That’s insanity no matter how you want to spin it. If the widely accepted method for determining whether or not a person is infected is fundamentally flawed, the resulting data is completely inaccurate. 

Added to which, the death statistics are also questionable. They do not define who died because of the virus or with the virus. For example, a colleague’s mother passed away from pancreatic cancer in July, yet the death certificate states covid19 as cause of death. This is not an isolated incident. 

The World Health Organisation guidelines state that “COVID-19 should be recorded on the medical certificate of cause of death for ALL decedents where the disease, or is assumed to have caused, or contributed to death, i.e. COVID-19 is the underlying cause of death”. This means no one really knows how many have died directly from a covid infection.
The Centre for Evidence-Based Medicine has shown that one in thirteen (7.8%) deaths with COVID-19 on the death certificate did not have the disease as the underlying cause of death, further distorting the data. 

The decisions directly related to our lives and livelihoods are based on inaccurate or distorted data and no one is doing anything about it. 

Enough about the deliberate distortion of the facts. The question is why is this happening?
There is a frenetic urgency to get the world vaccinated. Bill Gates began pushing the vaccination agenda way back in 2013 if not earlier. And naturally people, at least people who can still think for themselves are extremely wary of this vaccine. At the time of writing this, the vaccine has only been available for a couple of weeks, and in this short window the significant adverse effects in those already having received the vaccination is 3% based on recent published information. Higher than the death rate of the virus. If you were to go by statistics alone, the vaccine will kill more people than the virus. 

The pharmaceutical companies and their stakeholders are naturally elated that the powers that be are enforcing and coercing people into having to accept this vaccine, creating the illusion that their freedom lies on the other side of a needle. And further perpetuating the myth that drugs are going to save you. Bearing in mind that the manufacturers of this technology are free of any kind of liability arising from death or damage caused by a substance that is being trialed simultaneously on millions of people. In simple terms, if the vaccine harms you or renders you infertile you have no recourse. 

Recently a second strain of the virus has emerged, This is nothing new - viruses mutate. This is why there is a different flu strain each season. It has been a year since the first strain emerged and as viruses seem to be excellent timekeepers, its right on schedule for an upgrade. This is further going to throw a spanner into the vaccine works. Will the current vaccine work with the new strain or create other complications? If people have indeed contracted the original virus, will taking the vaccine have immune suppressing effects rendering them more vulnerable to other strains? Pregnant women and women of “child bearing age” have been warned by the NHS  not to take the vaccine because it may render them sterile or have deleterious effects on the foetus. But its ok to give this unknown quantity to the elderly or your child? I think not. 

What happened to freedom of choice? What happened to autonomy? What happened to informed consent? What happened to common sense? 
For me personally, the most disturbing part of this experience is how people I thought of as free thinking, intelligent individuals are simply kowtowing, going with the flow because they don’t want to be seen as outliers. It baffles me how so many people are afraid of voicing an opinion. It wasn’t so long ago that the Nazis used this kind of brainwashing and propaganda to commit genocide. And we are going down this path again with our eyes wide open. 


Back in early 2020 governments the world over were advised by the WHO to impose widespread lockdown measures in order to curb the spread of the virus. The media were so distracted with whether or not the virus came from a bat or a pangolin that no one thought to ask if these counter measures at controlling people was the best option for the economies of the world in the first place. No one gave any thought to the destruction that would ensue. How many people would lose their jobs, livelihoods and minds in the process. Because we trusted the people we vote for to do what is in our best interest.


The second-largest funder of the WHO is the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which provides 9.8% of the WHO’s funds, effectively calling the shots! After Trump pulled funding, The World Health Organisation is now effectively owned by Microsoft and China. Bloody terrifying thought that is!


It is now too late to put the genie back in the bottle. For governments to admit that they acted without a full understanding of the facts or unable to foresee the chaos and destruction that would ensue, going back and admitting they were wrong will result in chaos, crippling class actions and people in power being forced to step down. There will be anarchy. Confidence in governments the world over has been severely compromised not to mention the unstable public option of giant pharmaceutical companies. 

The puppet masters at the WHO (Gates) is also a major shareholder in Pfizer. Incidentally the Gates foundation funded the development of the Pfizer owned sterilisation contraceptive Sayana, targeting specifically third world countries. At the risk of joining the ranks of the conspiracy theorists, it seems that the company who gave birth to computer viruses has also given birth to a means of enforced sterilisation. 

Getting rid of the elderly and ill, controlling those who are young and able though fear and ensuring that those who can have children are stopped in their tracks. The facts really do speak for themselves, but you can connect the dots?

Perhaps people do nothing and say nothing because they feel that their opinions don’t count? They they won’t be heard amongst the noise created by the media and the hysteria? People don’t speak up because they are afraid of what there peers may think of them. And this is why the greatest tragedies throughout human history happen. People who do nothing. People who say nothing. In the face of glaring evidence that the emperor is wearing no clothes, the average person waits for someone else to take action.  We are in a mess and in the hands of people who do not have anyones best interest at heart except for themselves and their own agendas. 


So what good can possibly come from this situation? Thankfully some have realised that their health is in their own hands and no one can save them except for themselves. If you take the steps to stay healthy - eat real food, get decent sleep, surround yourself with positive people and exercise - preferably in the sunlight, chances are you won’t even know if you catch a virus because your body is innately geared towards protecting you from getting seriously ill.


It has hopefully brought to light the logical realisation that if you aren’t feeling well, stay at home. Wash your hands and don’t sneeze on people.


With luck, more of us will wake up and realise that no vaccine or drug can save you from bad decisions. Giant corporations are not creating vaccines because they care about you, they care about their profits. If they engineered medicine for altruistic purposes they would be non-profits not multibillion dollar organisations. And perhaps more people will realise that governments and government institutions are controlled by the private sector who are the giants they are, because we, the public created them. 

We buy their products, whether the product is software, insurance, junk food or drugs. We created these organisations who are controlling the governments who are controlling us - with fear.  With hope more people we will start to see the self perpetuating, destructive cycle that we have come to think of as normal, or maybe not.


My greatest wish for you in 2021 who ever you are, wherever you are, is to wake up and take responsibility for you own health, your own choices and your own autonomy. Speak up when something doesn’t add up and stop feeding the fear.


https://www.bmj.com/content/371/bmj.m4916

https://www.icd10monitor.com/false-positives-in-pcr-tests-for-covid-19

https://www.chiropractic.org/informed-consent-and-freedom-of-choice-on-vaccination-issues/
https://www.cebm.net/covid-19/death-certificate-data-covid-19-as-the-underlying-cause-of-death/

https://sif.gatesfoundation.org/investments/pfizer/

https://www.devex.com/news/big-concerns-over-gates-foundation-s-potential-to-become-largest-who-donor-97377

[mattyslittleworld]

dead mans coffee

July / 2020

Just woke up in my front seat, at a rest stop in Tennessee. First thing I saw was my ALL WILL SUFFER tattoo on my leg. A constant reminder of a different person. Tomorrow I’m getting coffee with Skrillex’s right hand man in Nashville, and I’m nursing a cold coffee in the heat watching this crazy lightning shoot across the skyline. It looks like the end of the world. Or some fucked up Lucero song. I must’ve pulled over for a second and closed my eyes and just dropped dead for hours while parked, I’m on the way to my hotel. 

I am sitting in a diner on broadway in Nashville, TN. Nursing another shitty coffee booking meetings. As the texts come in I ignore them because they are covering the screen and distracting me from reading and studying how to properly sell my soul to the devil at the crossroads In Mississippi. 

Clarksdale, Mississippi

12:30 am

Where Robert Johnson, Bob Dylan, and now, Matty Carlock, sold their souls to the devil. 

December / 2020

Sitting in my home, in Hollywood, CA. I have the window open, and I hear the subtle sound of LA breathing, cars passing on the boulevard, sirens off in the distance, and a vinyl record of mine spinning at the lowest volume possible for me to still hear yet ignore it. I feel calm and at peace, although, it seems like a parallel feeling is war, confusion, imposter syndrome, abandonment, and skeptical. How could these two umbrellas of emotion coexist? Its very interesting. Ive been recording so much music that has nothing to do with my artist project. Its been liberating to put that aside for something greater. A new focus. Leaving artistry a vessel solely for extreme self expression and cathartic release. 

July / 2020

Winding the day down, 10:30pm. With an open tab that reads “Tigers Jaw holiday show” - on pause. I open my Mac book on my couch, ready to go through stems and ratchet strip club beats, and it catches my eye. I press play and it leads me down a rabbit hole. I find myself watching “Never Saw It Coming” right into “Chemicals” / live in Boston. Like lightning it struck through my entire body. Maybe it was the 2 hour long conversation with Andy? And the memories we were trading. The bond we have over hard times, innocence, violence, literal blood on the pavement, years of freezing in the winter....nowhere to go. The people that were around - we made forever memories to these two songs. I right away, made a playlist that consists of “The Sun, I Saw Water, Chemicals, Never Saw It Coming, and Planes”. On top of that I found the live acoustic set they recorded and put out. When I was young on DIY tours, sleeping on floors, dirty as shit, poor as shit, a human being at the very best.....the uncertainty of my near future was so bleak. I remember Title Fight came out with their record “Shed” - and the song “where am I?” would lay me down on long drives, or on the floor. I’d watch white lines pass one by one by one into the abyss of nothing. 

The line 

“Another floor

A different ceiling than the night before

Where am I?

While you’re back home”

Missing my girlfriend at that current time, leaving, and just laying on a strangers floor thinking where am I while you’re back home? What am I doing? Maybe there’s nothing only this moment?

On the tigers jaw live EP they covered this acoustic and it’s everything right now. I am fortunate to live a block away from the sunset strip - and I grabbed my skateboard and just bolted into the night. 

This SO SPECIFIC FEELING of these songs. That nobody in this environment will ever understand. It’s so beautiful. It’s so real. It’s so raw. It’s exactly what I need right now - as the past 3 weeks I’ve been living here have moved faster than the past 4 years. A loss of identity easily awaits you. It’s like you fight your whole life for that moment, to get to where you dream of, to get a shot. Scrape and crawl. And then reset. Since I’ve been living in Hollywood my day to day has been a huge mirror for me. The parts of myself I’ve been trying out run have caught me. Maybe all of this could coexist? 

March 2nd / 2021

Spring is here. Its 75 degrees in LA and theres this new thing I noticed while driving around…..the overbearing smell of flowers in the air. It sounds like a movie. Its fucked up cause It felt like a funeral in my car. I was like what the fuck is happening? It smells like a small funeral in here….are my dreams dying? Am I dying? Is punk dead? Okay its just a Ryan gosling movie out here I guess. Whatever lets go. Here’s some hatrebreed. But the windows are down. My mood is different. My spirit is lifted, which ive been desperate to say. I automatically get punched in the guts with the feeling of driving so fucking fast, and blasting title fight. Skateboarding. Looooooooooong drives with fucked up friends to out of state shows no one will be at. Im listening to Stab by Title Fight - off the Shed LP. What a specific time in my life this brings back. That I usually talk about on this little throw up blog often. Spring is such a pivotal time in my life every year. Since covid shows stopped - human decency stopped - community stopped - my natural habitat was taken from me, and all of my friends and family. I remember living in New York in 2011. At the New Yorker. I was studying at the Institute Of Audio Research to be a janitor in my home town. Because that’s what they teach you. Instead of studying compression, and listening to washed up hacks talk to me about music, I would walk out my building onto 8th ave. B Line it Penn Station. Get on the LIRR and ride that shit right into the best LI shows every night I could. Id meet all my friends from Jersey / NYC / Philly and even Baltimore because it was so common to make it a priority to no matter what, drive hours on end to support a hardcore shows and to not lose touch with the hundreds around the country that you call family. Drive to Richmond for a shows on a Monday night, go off, hit a diner after with your new found tribe, then drive home, be back at 6 am, and just stumble into your bullshit job with a black eye or scratches all over you. It was all worth it. Probably quit that job anyway to go on tour with your friends band and live as gypsies for the entire summer too. Spring embodies this spirit for me. Church parking lots in Doylestown, PA - full of kids from all over the country, who left their problems in their hometown, to just get on the road with their best friends and basically start a new life. It is just amazing how formative those years were for a lot of my friends. I have people I met at shows from all over the country messaging me always checking in, and supporting, and sometimes it feels like I know them better than my first cousins, aunts and uncles. We were at war together. We fought against the world together. We found ourselves together. We created shit from nothing. Determination and passion. Oh no….Planes by Tigers Jaw just came on. You know the vibe. This shit just hits so different now as a pop / hip hop producer. This PA scene, mixed with NJHC, just stood me up and gave me confidence to have my own voice, my own thoughts, and to fight back. Something about being in a shitty car and it smells like dirty vans and like…..axe to cover up the smell. BELTING Basement and car moshing and almost driving off a bridge. Listen. I know every single blog is about this. But fuck you fight me. ITS CALLED SELF EXPRESSION GRANDMA. SO STRAP INTO YOUR BOOT THINGS AND ENJOY THE RIDE TO NOWHERE. Its been crazy living in LA. I live directly on Hollywood BLVD, on the Walk Of Fame. Where I was almost killed two weeks ago over someones gang that my ass is not in. My guy looked at me and said YO YOU MATTY? And I was listening to Taylor swift in my headphones walking back from Starbucks and it was so funny how different my energy was. I was like bro can you kill me already dude because these Taylor tones are so good that they gunna just end up killing me anyway. So perfect timing. I think the guy was mad at my friend to say the least lol. But every night its loud 808’s, the sounds of the city, amazing energy, and neon lights shining in from lit up billboards off the BLVD. Its such a culture shock for me. I feel like im too aggressive just from being east coast. But its just what it is. It took me a little to adapt to being in sessions and meetings with seasoned people in this industry who have major cuts and recognition. But I just learned to double down on myself, and be as authentic as I possibly can be. Theres nothing like crushing writing sessions in the pop realm, then turning off my shit, unplugging, and run into the night with my skateboard and old punk records. It’s almost like my own secret that is becoming my blood. I haven’t been communicating with the ones who like my music, have interest in what im doing, come to my shows etc - since I touched down here….I just unplugged….started writing HEAVY and decided to dedicate months to getting better, learning, becoming smarter, discovering a vision that’s much broader than what were sold, finding myself, making sure my wisdom is parallel to my age - if not wise beyond my years. A lot of artists and bands SING, PLAY, PERFORM, PROMOTE. But I have decided to WATCH, ATTEND, and LISTEN. Everynight I sit down with tea, unplug, and spin records on my turntable…in the dark, in my living room, alone….all kinds of records. From The National, to Springsteen, to Title Fight, to Hendrix, to the rare Troublemaker LP and 7” I have…..Sharon Van Etten, Jesse Malin…..ugh. Its just bliss. Pure bliss. Right now im drinking coffee and bouncing from listening to Into It Over It and American Football. I spent all last night rapping my ass off, mixing, and singing ref vocals for other people. It was so fun. Im finding a lot of my new material is this spirit im talking about - but over hip hop production. I want to tell my life story and combat the stereotypes of modern rap and pop music with true intentions and unique tones of untold stories that press, radio, and this market usually doesn’t get fed. Ive also realized a lot of music I was promoting over the past year to come out (prior to the pandemic) hasn’t come out….and I know people are questioning that….what is happening? So before covid I had German solo dates booked - and then I was going to the UK right after. I have a bunch of single drops lined up with music videos. Some you can guess with who. And then the pandemic hit and I canceled everything and decided to pivot my focus into my passion for songwriting and production, instead of sitting around “waiting for shows to come back.” I pretended that shows were never going to come back and doubled down on my career as a producer, that at the time, still is, moving forward at a faster rate than my artist shit. So I packed my shit after offers, and opportunity presented themselves. Touched down on a Tuesday, with meetings that Friday. Off to the races. In sessions that following Monday. Fast forward here we are. Hungry, learning, learnt, turned 30. Looking at the next decade like Mcgregor at the weigh in. Fight ready. Ive learned so much since the fall that all of the music I had planned on releasing, I loaded it back up, tore it apart, and re built it. So its not stale, so its not expired, so its not “then”….so its NOW. Which im so glad I did, and im doing. I don’t think ive been in the booth more. My mind is so stimulated by this wave im on. And its got me in a good place. Now that the spirit of spring is here, my mental health is going to be taking a big leap as well and im going to do everything I can to just flood all of this content. I think Never Meant by American Football is the best song ever made. Me and Mike were talking about doing a song together a few months ago and that would be such a trip for me. 

I wanted to talk about my recent trip to Joshua Tree. I was invited by Christopher Thorn from Blind Melon to live at his studio for a few days to write together. I didn’t really know what to expect. I met him once or twice thru Clinch, and just around the Sea Hear Now circle back east, and I was familiar with No Rain (his hit). We got on the phone, picked a weekend where it’d work for both of us, got some covid tests, and boom. Packed my shit again (right off a flight back from New York, where I shot 3 music videos, and did 1 remote session in 2 fucking days), and drove out to the desert. There is no address so I had a map. It was epic. It was in the desert desert. Like THE DESERT FAM. Coyotes at night, snakes and shit. The air was so dry, your lips would get chapped to let you know death was right around the corner so you better man up baby boy. Beforehand - from all the traveling and flights, and burning myself out on videos and sessions, I found myself listening to a lot of acoustic Nebraska Springsteen type shit. John Moreland, or even like acoustic bayside, Lucero, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits…..just pure music with no samples, not gridded, not sold, no machine, no click, just real live country music inspired by the human condition….of the earth. It was just speaking to my soul…..so when we booked this to get in the room together….man was I ready. I don’t think ive had an experience so fruitful to the soul. And ive played shows in Slovenia, and sipped espresso on a bridge that looked like a painting, staring at subtle mountain tops off in the distance like I was a character in some book. We started working at night and ran it up till like 3 am. As the sun came down the lights off in the distance miles and miles away were so clear because we were just the only life form around….and it would just shine into the studio windows and reflect on the perimeter making it seem like we were surrounded by New York City. It did a lot for my soul to play drums, acoustic, sing, play piano, shred electric, even mix a little. I felt like I made a very fast lifelong friend. Its been a minute since I got on with someone like that. We talked a lot about growing up touring. And wed finish each others sentences regarding topics that ONLY people like us would know. Like Subway being a life line for DIY touring, or the weird strange feelings of comfort from rest stops in the middle of nowhere at 4 am, the rest stop coffee that you get to just make the next 2 hours of the drive into town bearable. But then you see your boy from your band in the other aisle so you throw shit at him. Then you all stumble back into the van/bus and just disappear into the night. This shit was so needed for me. When Id wake up, id make espresso, and just sit out front and listen to Joe Rogan, at this random chair that was behind his studio, facing the mountains. Just endless property waiting to leave you 6 feet in the ground. I sat there and sipped my espresso, and just reflected on the long journey of my career. How many random moments like this ive found myself in since I was 15. In the middle of the desert where Springsteen hangs out with my heroes, off the strength of my songwriting. Or in Romania drinking coffee, fucked off, on a bench far from the venue, by random train lines in the pouring rain by myself. The farthest from humanity I can be. Or the random VFW hall in my head that I don’t even know where it is, with my little punk crew, who all smell like complete shit and cigarettes and soda, fucked off god knows where, just to finger point and sing along to this band we found on myspace that were in OUR hometown the weekend prior singing to our band. Theres just an endless string of memories that can go on forever, with stories that just fulfill a lifetime, of conversations that just make the white lines on I95 move faster. Or just everyone is quiet - reading a book - texting - exhausted from the night prior - and you just ABRUPTLY turn on teenage dream by Katy Perry SOOOO LOUD - take your shirt off and start dropping it like its hot from the passenger front seat, and catch a mid afternoon front flip stage dive into the backseat. From those youthful days of this underground spirit, to existing in a realm of pure monsters of my craft, I truly believe this next decade could co exist and be one for the books. Damn I feel good. Also me and Sasso started a book club called BSU and you can’t be in it because you probably read books and the only rule for our book club besides not speaking about book club is, you can’t read books. Okay im going to go buy a bike right now so I can ride It to Mexico and get abducted by the cartel and sold for bitcoin. FAREWELL EARTHLINGZ. 

[theponchosection]

Episode 105 (Sports Pandemic) - After Show

What the hell is Trashball?!

We found a few sources; each a different game. How do you play?!

Rules according to Hesston College

Type: Group/Active

Group Size: At least 4 people

Equipment:

2 Trash cans (like yard trash cans work the best).

Playground ball (also known as a dodge ball).

Instructions:

Divide the group into two teams, and place a trash can at each end of the playing field, and then go to your side of the field.

Then decide who gets the ball first.

You can not run with the ball. You catch it, stop, and throw it to another teammate. It is kind of like Ultimate Frisbee.

To score you must get the ball in your basket, or trash can.

You win by making the most baskets.

Hints: Game can get rough, watch out for flying elbows. Best played outside or in a gym with a  high ceiling.

Critique: Play by ultimate Frisbee rules. More than just two trash cans; maybe have two at each end. Have more then one ball. Pretty good game.

Rules According to Playworks.org

Before You Start

Equipment Needed: Cones; an empty trash can or container; and a soft ball, beanbag, or wadded up piece of paper.

Separate players into teams of 6-8 and have them line up behind the cones.

Set Up

Indoors. Set up one empty container, 2-3 cones to mark where students will stand in line, and three other markers of varying distances from the container.

How to Play

Ask a question related to something the players are learning in class (math problem, spelling word, etc.). Only the players at the front of each line can answer. If someone from the back of the line answers, that line is disqualified for that round.

Whoever answers the question first wins the right to shoot the “ball” into the container.

They have three choices:

1.     Shoot from the closest spot (slam dunk) for 1 point. 2.     Shoot from the medium spot for 2 points. 3.     Shoot from the farthest spot for 3 points.

After each round, the contestants return to end of the line.

Variations

If the shooter misses, the other players at the front of the line get a chance to shoot (greater involvement for everyone).

Give the shooters only one designated spot to shoot from (speeds up the game).

Let all students shoot (good for K-1st).

Rules according to Boy Scout Trail

Required:

a wastebasket 1 or 2 tennis balls, nerf balls, or similar

Instructions:

Everyone stands in a circle around the wastebasket, facing inward. A scout tries to toss a ball into the wastebasket. If a basket is made, the patrol gets 1 point. If it's a miss, the patrol loses 3 points. But, the scout can get those three points back by immediately doing 3 sit-ups, 3 push-ups, or running 1 lap around the circle of scouts. First patrol to a specified score is the winner. You might want to use 2 balls for a larger group. An unbiased leader by the wastebasket could help retrieve the ball and toss it to the next scout.

How Do You Play Trashball?!

Let us know in the comments below

What are you doing to keep busy during the Pandemic?

Playing sports during the Pandemic

Rules from the CDC

What you need to know

Stay home if sick.

Players should bring their own equipment, like gloves and bats, if possible.

Reduce physical closeness and keep 6 feet of space between players when possible.

Wear a mask if possible.

Players should clean their hands before and after practices, games, and sharing equipment.

Tell a coach or staff member if you don’t feel well.

On This Page

Make a game plan to reduce risk

Prepare before you participate

Take steps to protect yourself and others

Checklist for coaches

This information is for youth and adult athletes considering participating in a sports league or team.

This information is not designed to provide guidance to adult sports leagues or organizations who plan or manage competition.  CDC does not currently have guidance for adult sports leagues, however organizations and administrators can reference the Considerations for Youth Sports  to find strategies for reducing exposure risks during sports competition.

Make a game plan to reduce risk

You can take a number of steps to help lower the risk of COVID-19 exposure and reduce the spread while playing sports.

The more people a participant interacts with, the closer the physical interaction, the more sharing of equipment there is by multiple players, and the longer the interaction, the higher the risk of COVID-19 spread.

Therefore, risk of COVID-19 spread can be different, depending on the type of activity.

Lowest Risk: Performing skill-building drills or conditioning at home, alone or with members of the same household

Increasing Risk: Team-based practice

More Risk: Within-team competition

Higher Risk: Full competition between teams from the same local geographic area (e.g., city or county)

Highest Risk: Full competition between teams from different geographic areas (e.g., outside county or state)

If organizations are not able to keep safety measures in place during competition (for example, keeping participants six feet apart at all times), they may consider limiting participation to within-team competition only (for example, scrimmages between members of the same team) or team-based practices only.

Similarly, if organizations are unable to put in place safety measures during team-based activities, they may choose individual or at-home activities, especially if any members of the team are at an increased risk for severe illness.

Prepare before you participate in sports

Bring supplies to help you and others stay healthy—for example, masks (bring extra), hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol, broad spectrum sunscreen with SPF 15 or higher, and drinking water.

Prioritize participating in outdoor activities over indoor activities and stay within your local area as much as possible.

If using an indoor facility, allow previous groups to leave the facility before entering with your team. If possible, allow time for cleaning and/or disinfecting.

Check the league’s COVID-19 prevention practices before you go to make sure they have steps in place to prevent the spread of the virus.

If you are at an increased risk for severe illness or have existing health conditions, take extra precautions and preventive actions during the activity or choose individual or at-home activities.

Take steps to protect yourself and others

Stay home if sick

If the participant has symptoms of COVID-19, has been diagnosed with COVID-19, is waiting for COVID-19 test results, or may have been exposed to someone with COVID-19, they should stay home and not participate in any sports.

Have smaller team sizes

Sports with a large number of players on a team may increase the likelihood of spread compared to sports with fewer team members.

Limit your team to a core group of participants, by restricting non-team players from joining when your team is short players and not adding new members during the season.

Keep space between players in practice areas

Reduce physical closeness between players when possible

Maintain at least 6 feet between yourself and your teammates, other competitors, and officials while actively participating in the sport.

Focus on building individual skills, like batting, dribbling, kicking, and strength training.

Avoid high fives, handshakes, fist bumps or hugs.

Keep space between players in the practice areas, including on the sideline, dugout, and bench.

Wait in car or away from the playing area until just before the warm-up period or the beginning of the game.

Avoid congregating in the parking lot or near the field before or after games.

If it is not possible to avoid congregating, practice social distancing by ensuring there is at least 6 feet between participants.

If social distancing is not possible, wear a mask whenever possible to reduce risk of virus transmission.

Space out spectators by 6 feet

Limit nonessential visitors, spectators, and volunteers. Ensure they wear masks and maintain social distancing.

Wear a mask if possible

Wear masks when able

Wear a mask if feasible, especially when it is difficult to stay less than 6 feet apart from other people or indoors, for example in close contact sports such as basketball.

Lower intensity sports: Emphasize wearing masks and practicing social distancing for lower intensity sports.

Higher intensity sports: People who are engaged in high intensity activities, like running, may not be able to wear a mask if it causes difficulty breathing.

If unable to wear a mask, consider conducting the activity in a location with greater ventilation and air exchange (for instance, outdoors versus indoors) and where it is possible to maintain physical distance from others.

In situations where individuals might raise their voices, such as shouting or chanting, we strongly encourage wearing masks.

For youth athletes, parents, coaches, and sports administrators should decide if the kids need to wear a mask.

It is not known if face shields provide any benefit as source control to protect others from the spray of respiratory particles. CDC does not recommend use of face shields for normal everyday activities or as a substitute for masks.

Minimize sharing of equipment or gear

Encourage players to bring their own equipment

Encourage players to bring their own equipment if possible, like gloves, balls, and helmets.

Limit the use of frequently touched surfaces on the field, court, or play surface.

Bring your own water to minimize use and touching of drinking fountains.

Clean and disinfect shared items between use.

Don’t share towels, clothing, or any items used to wipe your face or hands.

Avoid sharing food, drink containers (e.g., coolers), and utensils.

Minimize spitting. Cover your coughs and sneezes.

When coughing or sneezing, use a tissue or the inside of your elbow. Used tissues should be thrown away and hands washed immediately with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or use hand sanitizer with 60% alcohol.

If soap and water are not readily available, hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol can be used.

Wash hands

Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or use hand sanitizer with 60% alcohol.

Before and after you play.

Before adjusting your mask—review information about proper use, removal, and washing of masks.

Limit travel outside of your area

Consider competing against teams in your local area (neighborhood, town, or community).

Checklist for coaches

Send a welcome email or call parents (for youth players) and/or players. Inform them about actions that the sports program will take to protect players. Remind them to stay home if sick or if they have been around someone who is sick.

Be a role model. Wear a mask and encourage family members, fans, officials, and sports staff to wear one during practices and games.

Provide hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol to players before and after practice/game and encourage them to wash their hands with soap and water.

Educate players about covering coughs and sneezes with a tissue or their elbow. Discourage spitting.

Encourage players to focus on building individual skills

Remind players about social distancing and identify markers (such as signage or tape on floor).

Encourage your players to focus on building their individual skills and cardiovascular conditioning, so they can limit close contact with other players.

Check with your sports administrator to make sure they are following cleaning and disinfection recommendations.

Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces on field, court, or play surface (such as drinking fountains) at least daily or between use.

Clean and disinfect shared equipment.

BONUS AFTER SHOW MINI-EPISODE

(VIDEO)

[pilgrimbenham]

Six Reasons Christians Must Vote

We are now officially one week away from our general presidential election in the United States. This year has been touted as "the most important election of our lifetimes". Many Christian leaders have publicly stated their endorsement of either Donald Trump or Joe Biden. Pastor John MacArthur stated that he and the president “talked a little bit about why, certainly from a biblical standpoint, Christians could not vote Democratic." (https://bit.ly/2TuhA1k). 

Then this week, Pastor John Piper posted an article essentially discouraging Christians from voting for Trump, saying, "I remain baffled that so many Christians consider the sins of unrepentant sexual immorality, unrepentant boastfulness, unrepentant vulgarity, unrepentant factiousness, and the like, to be only toxic for our nation, while policies that endorse baby-killing, sex-switching, freedom-limiting, and socialistic overreach are viewed as deadly." (https://bit.ly/2TuhyXg).

What then should Christians do, if even prominent, Bible-expositing pastors disagree so sharply? What should our Biblical, Gospel-centered response be to elections, civic involvement, or politics? I believe there are six answers to those questions - Six Reasons Why Christians Must Vote:

1. Christians are dual citizens of God's kingdom & kingdoms of the earth.

As Christians, we are in the world but not of the world. Because of the finished work of Christ, by grace through faith we are already citizens of heaven spiritually, but physically we are still citizens of particular nations. Paul said in Philippians 3:20: For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Hebrews 13:14 tells us that here we do not have a lasting city, so we are seeking the city from above. In Acts 22, Paul actually used the advantage of his Roman citizenship to seek to advance the proclamation of the Gospel when he was facing opposition to the message. So we don't lose sight that in an ultimate sense we aren't yet living in the Heavenly Jerusalem. But neither do we throw away the advantages given to us as national citizens if we can advance the work of Christ on earth.

2. Human government is a derived & limited authority as God's agent to promote justice & goodness.

All throughout the Bible, God is highly concerned about tzedakah & mishpat: justice & righteousness (Amos 5:24, Psalm 33:5, 106:3). These include both retributive as well as distributive justice. That simply means government has the power to punish evildoers, as well as promoting welfare and provision for those in need. This means that whenever there is injustice and unrighteousness within government systems - what the Bible calls "unequal weights" or "dishonest scales" - these are a detestable abomination to the Lord, because the person in power has abused their God-given power and is no longer acting in the way he/she was given stewardship to advance tzedakah & mishpat.

Paul says in Romans 13:4 about the governing official: "He is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer."

3. Christians do not have the luxury of being apolitical.

It would be nice if we could avoid politics altogether, but politics is simply another way of saying "policies". Sometimes the policies of governing officials will promote justice and goodness, and other times they will promote injustice and evil. We aren't told in the Bible to avoid politics - to be apolitical or anarchists. We are told (even by Jesus) to "give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's" (Mark 12:17). Christians are to submit to governing authorities, pay taxes, and live as quiet, humble citizens (1 Thessalonians 4:11- 12) unless or until those governing authorities begin to enact policies or decrees that violate God's justice or righteousness.

One arena this issue has come front-and-center for Christians has been the overreach of civic officials who have suspended the American government-initiated first-Amendment right to religious assembly during the Covid-19 pandemic. Even when lockdowns were enacted in areas where outbreaks were minimal, extended indefinitely, and the same precautionary measures were disregarded for peaceful protests (also a first Amendment right!) - most pastors/churches ubiquitously complied with these mandates. Sadly, it is estimated that 1 out of 5 churches will close permanently due to this uneven injunction (https://bit.ly/3oxNo3G).

Isaiah 10:1 says, "Woe to those who decree iniquitous decrees, and the writers who keep writing oppression". Should pastors/churches continue to comply with these iniquitous decrees, even as they persist far beyond what is necessary and are unfairly targeting religious groups (https://bit.ly/3mqkbWv)? Where most pastors would stay silent and say "Let's not get political" - I would say we must speak up and encourage our congregations to be active dual citizens who allow their voice to be heard.

4. No political party (or current candidate) fully represents the Biblical worldview.

Here's where everyone will (probably) disagree with me. The Republican Party generally represents those who are conservative, capitalists, gun owners, and pro-life. They generally believe in small government, safe and secure borders, strong foreign policy, the nuclear family, and recognize the nation of Israel. They believe the environment is something we use, so we have to conserve it and take care of it, so that others can use it in the future (conservationism).

The Democratic Party generally represents those who are more liberal, socialistic, pro-choice, and concerned for the marginalized and oppressed - including the black, Latino, Native American, and LGBTQ+ communities. They want to help those in poverty and provide systems that prevent racism, discrimination, and social injustice (https://bit.ly/3e1737e). Democrats believe the environment is to be saved, preserved, set aside, and protected from human abuse (environmentalism).

Do either of these platforms fully represent the Biblical worldview of justice and righteousness? No! On one hand we are protecting the sanctity of the life of the unborn instead of destroying those lives. But on the other hand we are seeking to help the marginalized and the alien find justice and asylum, instead of putting barriers in their way. (And before you @me, I am only referring to the two main parties that have the best chance of winning the election - third, fourth, and fifth party candidates not included...)

While we are talking about the candidates, on one side you have a seemingly adulterous, arrogant narcissist - and on the other side you have a career politician who seems out of touch and out of sound mind. Joe Biden is not the Messiah. Donald Trump is not the Messiah. But neither are they the AntiChrist! I'm not voting for a perfect political party, or for my Messiah. So neither candidate or party fully represents the Biblical worldview in totality. I like the Republican stand for life, and I like the Democratic stand for the oppressed. So who should we vote for? That leads us to the next two assumptions:

5. We must pray for & participate in civic activity and seek to promote our community's good.

When Israel was invaded, defeated, and exiled by the Babylonian empire, the citizens were now in a place that was foreign and hostile to their beliefs. False prophets rose up among them, stating that we will be able to segregate and eventually get back home. But God, through the mouth of Jeremiah, challenges this separatist mindset: "5Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. 6 Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. 7 But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare." (Jeremiah 29:5-7).

Did you catch that? God's instruction to His people was not for them to hide out in tents, unengaged in the affairs of the world, hoping that their deliverance would come in their generation! He instructs them to: Invest in real estate and plant gardens. Get married, and start families. Multiply your influence and population among these people who you live among. And seek the welfare of your community. Pray for it. Because as the city goes, so go you.

Our role as dual citizens is to pray for AND participate in civic activity as we seek to promote the good of our city, state, nation, and culture. We are to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16) and attractive to the lost around us (2 Corinthians 2:14-17) - living in such a way that unsaved people ask us probing questions to try and understand the hope that is within us (1 Peter 3:15).

6. We must vote for which values will best complement the Biblical worldview with our community's good.

As Christians and citizens of earthly kingdoms, we have a wonderful privilege to participate in the election of governing officials at various levels of jurisdiction. Whenever there is a local or national election, Christians can and should be using this as an opportunity to pray and participate. We will never elect the perfect candidate or the perfect platform, but we can measure each party and candidate Biblically on where they will enact policies that promote justice and righteousness.

In this particular election, the question of the sanctity of life, sexuality and identity, religious liberties, race, health, the economy & environment, and future policies and postures will be on the ballot. We can and should review each party's platform on these issues in light of the Word of God. When we vote, we need to consider what the Bible says (particularly in the book of Genesis) about gender, sexuality, marriage, race, and the environment. What intrinsic worth, dignity, and value does the Bible ascribe to each life, created in the image of God (Psalm 127:3, 139:13-16; Jeremiah 1:5; Genesis 1:26, 9:6)? Should we support the gender transition of 8-10 year old children when the Scriptures teach that God created us male & female (Genesis 1:27)? Is it Biblical to redistribute my wealth to others who didn't earn it - or is it Biblical to work hard, prosper, provide for the poor while not coveting the property owned by someone else (Exodus 20:15, 17; Proverbs 14:31; 1 Tim. 5:8; 2 Thessalonians 3:10)?  Election ramifications are important questions to consider - with our Bibles open.

My prayer is that we will vote for the candidate/party that best complements the Biblical worldview with our community's good. Even as we do this, we acknowledge that our citizenship is ultimately in heaven. Thus, no matter who is elected, we look with anticipation toward the coming Millennial reign of Christ on the earth, when Isaiah 32:1 is truly fulfilled: "Behold, a king will reign in righteousness, And princes will rule with justice."

Even so, come Lord Jesus.

-Pilgrim Benham

[vaguelymonochrome]

Another Jug - short story

ANOTHER JUG by vaguelymonochrome

“No, look, I’m ab-solutely fi—ne!” she lets her sing-song voice ring and disappear into the wilderness, laughing rather miserably as she takes each step unsteadily. What face am I making, she wonders giddily as her facial muscles involuntarily contorts to let out another hysterical laughter.

          They have just left their freedom behind and are wailing their way back to reality, one that threatens a lockdown, a complete change of life. Idle, the bar at a hidden-away building called Infinite, had the misfortune of witnessing four stressed out college students in the midst of a semester struggling with the recent Covid-19 situation. Their delightful shrieks at every dart that hits everywhere but the target and their blatant exploitation of the rare Ladies Night discount (hell yea screw capitalism! one of them shrieked at some point when they realised that they had explored every possible combination of hard liquor and mixers), the bartender witnessed it all as he held onto the glass for support, wiping it meditatively. As the bar counter is built such that the staffs have perfect view of the floor, the bartender most unfortunately was within and without, at once fascinated and repulsed by the carnivalesque display of intoxicated customers. The signage that says No Puking quivered in anticipation.

          The night had started innocently enough, Dionysus reflects. After taking their temperatures and paying for the night, the group started with their own drinks and started a card game called The Singaporean Dream[1]. Circe, in a state of alcoholic guidance, confidently smashed down a card. Four pairs of eyes read the card apprehensively.

Recite the Singapore Pledge to achieve two dreams for free. (Other players or yourself)

          “You are fucking British, Circe.” Dionysus deadpanned.

          “No, I am not going to recite it!” Circe said, flustered, “You! Annabelle! Recite it!”

          “Why are you letting her gain two free dreams?” Dionysus frowned, ruffling Circe’s feathers further.

          “Am I bothered?” Circe demands[2].

          Annabelle stared at Circe, her facial muscles contorting indignantly. June, still unable to break out of her “guai kia[3]” face, quietly took to drinking half of her vodka and apple mixer from her plastic cup. Dionysus leered in anticipation. Annabelle, refusing to admit defeat, applied to her gin and tonic. Tilting her head up as if she can see the skies beyond the ceiling, she slowly opened her mouth, and allowed the gods full control of her vocal abilities.

          “We, the citizens of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united nation!”

That should sound patriotic enough, she thought, totally nailed the first line.

          Before she could go on to the next line, the table had exploded. Despite their shrieks and howls, the bartender did not miss a beat in his ritualistic wiping of the glass. Maybe too patriotic, she thought.

          “One united nation!” Circe screeched, looking up from her phone screen that is flashing the Singapore National Pledge, “Oh, Annabelle, the true Singapore horror story, if I ever heard one!”

          “One united people, Annabelle.” June managed to correct in between her fits of laughter, her glasses running askew.

          Annabelle swore, and proceeded to down the entire jug. Eventually, Dionysus recovered enough to get the bartender to reluctantly setting aside his glass and refill the jug with coke and rum. After tending to each of their plastic cups, and the games continued. The signage watched on eagerly.

After that, Dionysus suddenly realises, someone had insisted on playing darts, and no one, not even I, Dionysus, stopped them from drinking whiskey.

          “June, get a hold of yourself!” Dionysus says in exasperation as June leeches herself onto his arm, abruptly interrupting his thoughts and cutting off his blood circulation. Looking down at a happily miserable June, he vaguely regretted his decision to bring the three girls with him. What a waste, he thought sadly, thinking of his wallet and his sober state. Facing the uncertainties ahead due to the Covid-19 situation, Dionysus had been doing his best to hang out with everyone and seek a closure for himself. Expecting a virtualised graduation ceremony and cancelling of his capstone presentation, Dionysus thought he had nothing more to lose if he were to sacrifice some studying and personal time. Or so he thought.

          “I said I am fine! I have to be fine. I need to get home.” June’s voice diminuendos, and she starts to hiccup. Oh god, Dionysus thought rather faintly, please do not cry. Or throw up.

          “Yes, you have to. So, stay sane.” Dionysus pleads. He looks away from June to gauge the remaining distance to the bus stop. His vision is obscured by the figures of Annabelle and Circe, both whom are clutching onto each other, swaying dangerously as they each take turns to screech something incomprehensible. They have vaguely morphed into birds of prey, their wild gestures creating many elongated, shadowy beaks that open and shut. Dionysus, not in the least amused, sighed and dragged June along at a faster pace.

          June sobers. She knows she merely has to put off drinking for fifteen minutes to sober, regardless of the amount of alcohol she has ingested. Thanks to years of practicing her “buddha-like” face and capitalizing her inability to experience the legendary Asian flush due to her body’s innate desire to reject alcohol, June had tested boundaries enough to know her physical and mental response. However, it has been far too long since she had succumbed to a Freudian slip, and she decided, in the spur of the moment, to keep drinking. Time’s up, her brain now tells her, and she promptly straightens, pulling away from Dionysus, as they reach the bus stop.

          “Are you sure you will be okay? Do you want to return to campus with us?” Dionysus asks, as the two vultures surround their prey and begin spewing words that string together more as mindless mockery.

          June eyes the two of them bemusedly and nodded.

          “I will be fine. Look, the bus is here.”

          The bus halts to a unwilling stop.

          “Bye! I will be fine!” June yells, and with a leap of faith, gets onto the bus. Circe positively begin shrieking again at the sight. She has come far, my child, Circe thinks delightfully, what a sight before I get deported back home.

          The bus door closes behind June, and she eyes the bus-driver cautiously as she taps her card. She finds his expression unreadable. Putting on her “guai kia face”, she prays that he cannot tell that she had been drinking. No, I am not drunk. Believing is making real. Is this why my friends think I have Stockholm syndrome? she wonders vaguely as she precariously sways in tandem with the bus. Each of her thigh took a turn at greeting the bus seats as she makes her way to the exit doors. Foucault will have a field day explaining my madness.

          Before she can continue her internal monologue on Foucault, the bus has made a nauseating turn. She holds onto the pole for dear life, and suddenly, as if boarding the Knight Bus, she reaches the next stop. The bus driver, through the centre rear-view mirror, watches her alight and heave a sigh of relief.

          June looks up and saw, to her amazement, the vast wilderness that leads to a palace. How have I not noticed this before? Wait, this is not a palace. This is Alexandra Hospital, get a hold of yourself, June chides herself sternly.

          She sits down, and the urgent need to relieve herself interrupts her wait for her next bus. She fidgets uncomfortably, engaging with a furious mental debate – should she risk the health of her blabber and preserve her reputation? Before she knows it, her body moves of its own accord, and she finds herself slowly walking down and up the steps, towards the hospital. As she walks, she begins to lose faith that walking straight will most definitely lead her to her desired destination. She starts to run, and eventually shoot right through the path, letting her legs rather than her faith carry her. Fear begins to creep in, and she does the one thing she thinks rational.

          “Hello? You busy?” she whispers into her phone.

          “Listen, I just ran into the Alexandra Hospital, and I am going to use the washroom.”

          There is a pause.

          “My friends left me to go home alone and I think I drank more than I should have.”

          “Who are your friends?!”

          She taps end call, silencing the shrieking demon on the opposite line. She now feels confident that she is in control. Marching down to the entrance, she sees two security guards, and a signage Temperature Taking.

          Damnnit. Co-vid19.

          She braces herself and adjusts her facial muscles to her “guai-kia” face. One of the security guards catches sight of her and starts to make his way towards her.

          “Hello, could I just use the washroom really quick? I have to catch the bus soon.” she says in her best Yale-NUS trained voice, beaming her best “I am a good child” smile. The security guard’s face twitches.

          “Miss, the portable toilet outside ah.”

          “It’s locked. Please, I won’t take longer than ten minutes – no five, I won’t take longer than five minutes!” She pleads. At this point, the nurses guarding the front counter have been lured to watch the show. C’mon, before I decide to just run in, she thinks desperately. Her mind starts to formulate a plan, one inspired by Johnny English.

          “Hey man, she use the washroom can anot?” he yells to his other colleague, whom has already begin making his way to them. He is dressed in the same fashion but knows far better.

          Confirm from Idle, he thinks.

          He nods, and June smiles thankfully. After taking her temperature (oh god, please, may I not be having a fever from the drinking, she prays), she proceeds to walk – careful to be civil – to the washroom.

          Walking out of the cubicle, she catches sight of herself in the mirror. Her face sits like a tomato on top of her shoulders, such that her red crop-top is not the only thing that catches attention. In horror, she splashes water quickly onto her face.

The legendary Asian flush.

She prays fervently that they cannot tell that she is merely mildly intoxicated. If anything, she tells herself as she embarks on the walk of shame out of the hospital, they will probably attribute my face to my state of embarrassment for having intruded.

          The two security guards tried their best to keep a straight face.

          June takes her time, trying so hard to walk properly that she reckoned she will be hired as a part-time model for a fashion show, until she remembers that roll of fat visibly oozing out of her crop-top and black skinnies. Suddenly, something seems to block her path, and she stops dead in her tracks.

          A fountain, with the statue of Mother Mary.

          Since when’s she there?

          The fountain is inconveniently built in a circular manner, splitting the otherwise single path into two. She watches Mother Mary sceptically, as if she might move at any minute. Mother Mary merely smiles on serenely.

           I had always gone left behind my own mother’s back, she thinks, and breaks into a run. As she sees her bus nearing the bus stop that she had took flight from, she preens with happiness. Who knows where the right path would have led her?

          June has always been a good child. She understands the consequences of misbehaving far too well – to be able to manage herself, she had reasoned, is beneficial for her own life as well as others. For instance, if stressed about the workload, June will work harder, completing the tasks that serves to trigger her unease. Applying such a concept to every other issue in her life, June manages to face mental health issues and pressure from family with a relatively calm composure. On good days, June even forgets that she is rather stressed out, or has been facing immense pressure. But there is always that Freudian slip.

          Taking another leap of faith on the bus supposedly destined to bring her home, the bus driver this time has less tact in keeping his composure. He oogles at her, as if she is a well- cooked lobster, steaming with the scent of added alcohol. While not at all looking appetizing, the dish at least looks worrisome. The driver keeps an eye on her, until she throws herself unceremoniously onto the seat. He quietly sighs in relief and proceeds to continue driving.

          June, however, is less than relieved. By throwing herself onto the seat in a fit of utter triumph, June feels a strong desire to throw up. Oh dear, she thinks rather faintly, my body is already starting to reject the alcohol. The bus, as if driven by the desire to get rid of her, drives faster than usual down the empty roads.

          She looks down at her phone, in hopes of some distraction from the nauseating ride. There have been fifty missed calls. She hurriedly prevents the number from amounting to fifty-one.

          “Hell- ?”

          “JUNE! Where are you? How can you just end the call on me like that?”

          “I am on the bus.”

          “Are you ok?”

          “Yupz. I will be fine, I just have to make it through this last bus ride.”

          “How long is the bus ride? Where are you travelling back to Eunos from?”

          “Queenstown.”

          Awkward silence ensues.

          “June! Take a taxi!”

          She pinches her nose bridge as she remembers that her bank account is dangerously close to being completely emptied of funds.

          “I am not not okay.”

          “… double negatives? Can I interpret it as your split personality disorder, I wonder? Half insane and half sane? Can I record you down as part of my psychological research project?”

          June sighs. She is starting to get rather confused at her friend’s sincere concern. Tom Tulliver Goh has never been the kind of friend that is able to be concern for too long about his friends’ issues – he firmly believes in their abilities to handle themselves. He proudly chooses his friends based off their tenacity in life. He, however, often forgets that he requires others to talk to about his life issues as well. Is a healthy friendship ever possible, when a friendship itself fundamentally requires each party to inject a certain dose of toxicity as a requirement to be included in their Instagram’s’ “close friends” list?

          “I can tell,” he continues, “that you are in fact unbelievably not tipsy then. June, the self-control queen!”

          “And you are a jack-ass.”

          She hangs up on him and massages her temples. She wishes that she had decided to stay on campus, but her duty as a daughter of the family calls. For two years now her brother has been facing severe skin condition issues, and despite finally embarking on a journey of recovery, his expensive treatments and his personal mental health struggles nevertheless continues to take a toll on the family. One kid’s suicidal thoughts in the family forces the other to keep quiet about hers. She craves another cup – no, another jug, - of whiskey and coke.

          Or not.

          Quickly deciding that enough is enough and reasoning that a bus stop on the expressway will be left deserted, June quickly presses the bell. The bus halts to a stop, and June bites her inner cheeks and presses her lips together. The bus driver smiles in relief.

          Some fertilizer for you, she thinks faintly before she empties her guts out onto the soil, holding herself up against a tree. The tree, unable to walk away or utter any form of protest, laments its fate and wishes to reverse roles. Thankfully, she had packed extra wet and dry tissues. The virus situation ain’t all that bad, she thinks.  

Feeling much better, June settles down on the seat at the bus stop, waiting for the next bus to come along. Her mind races.

          Yet, she does not feel like crying. She feels, nothing. It’s been a good night.

[1] A game that requires players to play their way to be the perfect Singaporean, aiming to collect as many Dream Cards as possible. https://thesingaporeandream.com/pages/rulebook

[2] Reference to the The Katherine Tate show

[3] “Guai kia” – A hokkien phrase incorporated into Singlish, directly translated to “obedient child”