clipped this ages ago to show some friends the most terrifying thing i've ever had the pleasure of experiencing, just now got around to uploading it bc i think Everyone should get to experience the same terror i did when i listened to this in the middle of a shift at work :)!
transcript under the cut!
AUSTIN: [...] it’s Fort Icebreaker. It shoots you before you get anywhere near it. You know what I mean? Like, there isn’t-- there, it’s part of a big military base, it’s like, there’s-- those other methods of infiltration haven’t been available, no-one’s done the thing you’ve done. This is like that bit in Hitman, where Diana goes like, “huh.”
JACK: (laughing) Disguises…
AUSTIN: “Oh, putting on a disguise, 47? I’ve never seen anyone do that before.” and she means it? This is, like, literally, you are doing the plan, this is a novel plan for you, for this world. Um. And so, that isn’t the thing for me.
[MUSIC: RADIOSATIC. HIATUS. REDSKY.]
The question is whether or not you can still be in control of Juniper when it gets here. Because, passing through the fog, like ghosts, I mean, like, the undead, in a real way, is The Black Century.
The Black Century is, and I think maybe, you-- you have probably heard this, you know this, this is not, this is like one of those things that gets whispered about, and it’s creepy.
KEITH: When you’re saying we’ve heard this, you’re not saying us, the players--
AUSTIN: No, the players have not heard this, this is new to you.
The Divine, Motion, which is what Gur Sevraq warned you about in the last, in the downtime… is a Divine dedicated to ensuring that things keep going. That Apostalos gets where it needs to, takes what it needs to, and that those that are loyal to their nation do not stop fighting. It’s called The Black Century because it is composed of one hundred soldiers, spread between infantry, armored and support roles. They’re also called that because you serve for one hundred years, and the Divine Motion ensures that you live through that century, no matter what befalls you. This goes also for its elect, Hyacinth, who is in their final years of service.
Over this hill, through the fog, come these mechs, these hallows, that look as if they are undead. The joints are loose, the way that they move is sickly in some instances. Unpredictable. There are three kind-of types. There are two of those Kosmos units we saw before, except instead of having, like, shielded faces, their faces are all scarred up from previous battles. All of them are filled with holes that should stop them from working, and yet, they move. There are three of these things called Cackles, which are four-legged, hyena-style mechs, which howl in the fog. And moving above all that are these four flying units, that look like a blend between a bearded vulture and a harrier jet. Their march towards you is syncopated. It is empty of affect. There is no presentation of bloodlust, there is none of that famous Apostolisian courage. It is just shuffling through the silent wind. And then, up through the grey fog, something shoots. The sky is this, like, static, the Perennial Wave and the overcast day. And then there’s this, just, trail of smoke that carries a black flare into the sky above you, and it, it brightens, but darkens at the same time? And for just a moment, the horizon around you stretches forever, and everything - the battlefield, Juniper itself, the hills - it loses colour and inverts, and in that moment, framed on the hills to the south in white and black is something strange, barely contained by its mechanical body. It’s almost, almost writhing. And in the miles behind that, the seeming endless distance behind it, more bodies seem to move yet. If this is anything, it is a spear head. Motion is here.
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Slade Wilson's YouTube channel is just him shopping at home depot. YouTube comments are full of scambots. Copyright strikes for not muting music that his camera mic picks up.
I'm not convinced that slade even knows what the internet is, I think he just uses a rolodex and paper calendar to schedule jobs. However I do think that he goes and stands in home depot aisles and stares at the planks of wood for fun and enrichment. It's like an aquarium to him
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What's a gumbo?
ONE OF THE BEST FOODS EVER HUOLD ON
"Gumbo is a thick stew or soup that is the official state cuisine of Louisiana. It is a combination of African, American Indian, and European elements. Gumbo is made with a variety of ingredients, including:
Home-made stock
The "holy trinity" of celery, onions, and green peppers
Roux, a mixture of butter and flour
Chicken, sausage, ham, seafood, okra, tomatoes, and greens"
IT IS. DELICIOUS. tho the homemade gumbos we have don't have celery, onions, n green peppers in em i think but that's besides the point. it is A Soup™ and it is very Good™
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