#fucking add Atlus idk

[eradicatetehnormal]

Shout Out to Poseidon Entertainment

Disney World Orlando's #1 hater:

I don't feel like gathering more videos for evidence

[elendsessor]

something i’ve seen in p3 reload discussions is the worry that atlus will do what they love doing with mainly persona rereleases and add in some girl with a tragic backstory. and while yeah i hope they don’t even though they likely will i don’t think they’ll ever top alex from strange journey redux in terms of absurdity.

she’s literally some 13 year old on deviantart’s fan character. she is lucifer- i mean louisa ferre’s daughter. while parts of her backstory change based on the route most of them are everyone fucking dies except her and maybe one other person. the law one is just she’s the only sane one i think idk other sane people probably got killed and that’s why. all of sj’s original endings are bleak so most of the tragicness is already there. her demonica looks like this

she can turn her eyes red, canonically cries BLOODY TEARS, and she’s tied to an area called the womb of grief.

she is the edgiest character in megaten history and that is what makes her so funny. so if you’re ever worried about a new atlus rerelease adding in an edgy female character that helps you get the “good/true” ending(s) just remember alex exists. nobody can top her.

[junpei-iori-ace-defective]

what's your opinion on the whole akihiko characterization discourse going on. also get well soon man!!

Ty homie! Also I have a lot of opinions on Akihiko!

Let me preface this with, I don’t think it’s Alejandro’s fault. I’ve met him before, he’s super chill! He’s a great voice actor! I think with better voice directing/writing this issue could have been completely avoided.

Spoilers/Full Opinion under the cut bc, oh boy do I have a l o t to say.

So. First things first I do agree that Aki’s new voice is waaaaay too deep. Like. I understand wanting him to sound a little more mature but he did not need to be THAT deep. Bro should not be lower than Shinji. However, I don’t think that is Alejandro’s fault.

In stressful scenes, when Aki’s voice gets a little higher, I was literally screaming in my brain. “THATS IT THATS HOW HE SHOULD SOUND!”. I think the voice director was so focused on trying to make Aki sound more mature that they were pushing Saab too far in the deep direction.

Also I don’t know how they broke up the recording sessions, but I could tell a BIG difference in the voice acting for the whole cast when the Yakushima trip happened. Like they all sounded so much better. Especially Aki and Yukari. I can’t tell if it was just me getting used to the new cast, or if it was a new session, but they did sound better. While still being deep, Aki did sound more like himself and Yukari had some of her bite back.

Aki also improved writing and voice acting wise for his second awakening and after. To quote from the live blog I did on discord “no more damnit shinji. But goddamn Alejandro put his whole soul into that.”

I think with better voice directing Alejandro could have really made Aki shine. Idk if it was just. Miscommunication or smth bc the rest of them sounded fine. But I still don’t think it’s on Saab. I know he has the range. It seems like a direction issue to me.

Now on to the writing/characterization. Whooo boy it is r o u g h.

Every. Single. Fucking. Word. Out. Of. This. Mans. Mouth. Was. Protein. They flanderized my boy sooooooo bad.

I’ve been told they wanted to make him closer to the japanese version and the arena games but like. I don’t think it was this bad????

I honestly think it was Atlus’ attempt to add more comic relief to the game. Which I understand, but I don’t think it was needed.

Part of the charm, for me at least, is how depressing Persona 3 is. Like. Of course the game is depressing as shit! It’s about death, destruction, doom, gloom, despair, ect. It’s supposed to feel so hopeless because that’s how it really hammers home it’s main point. In the last act, you, S.E.E.S., and other characters realize even though life is depressing and cruel, that there’s hope in the end. That the bonds you have forged will save you AND the world. Like you gotta hit rock bottom to get back up!

So trying to add more comedy just feels. Off. Especially choosing Aki of all people to be comic relief. Junpei has always been the comic relief TM but his character is done so fucking good that even though he’s the comic relief TM, the moments where he does get serious hit so much fucking harder.

Unfortunately with Aki, it does not work the same way. Aki is such a serious character that it’s hard to make him comic relief without ruining his character, which is exactly what fucking happened. All the serious scenes, especially with Shinji, just felt so weird bc the game sets up Aki as mr protein workout man. That when he is serious, it feels like a completely different character.

Like with his video recording that you can watch in the meeting room. What makes that funny is Aki is such a serious character that seeing him be an absolute idiot and fumble IS the humor.

I think Aki is just like. The worst choice to make comic relief. Like everyone else has funny bits and quirks, which makes them so realistic and likable! And Aki does too! But turning his whole character into work out protein work out is just a massive disservice to his character.

It did seem to taper off towards the back half of the game. Especially after Shinji’s death, and progressing through his link episodes. But all of the flanderization did hurt his character really bad. I hope Atlus stops trying to add humor where there doesn’t need to be any. Because honestly it doesn’t make shit funny, it just makes things not make sense.

(Side note, I think thats also what the other persona games suffer from too. Is Atlus being worried about the games being too dark that they add humor where there doesn’t need to be any. Which leads to weird plot things/mischaracterization)

Long story short, Do better Atlus lmao. I still love Reload. It’s literally the best remake I’ve ever seen/played. And I think all game studios should look at Reload and take notes. But it has its issues. And so does this version of Aki.

[idkbrothatsprettygay]

No nuance November, persona addition, because my bois @uselesslesbiab and @thegayone23456 did it too

The Persona 5 Dancing opening song sucks and the lil inclusion of “Wake Up Get Up Get Out There” did not flow well

Namatame’s room was 110% Naoto’s fault and the fact people blame Yosuke for it proves y’all are just hunting for reasons to hate Yosuke

Please stop using the “age gap” between Joker and Futaba/Sumire as an excuse to hate those ships when the age gap between Joker and Akechi is larger.

While we’re on that topic, shipping Joker and Futaba is weird and gross. Like dawg that is your sister.

Morgana is not overly hated. He literally just sucks.

Hating Rise because she’s extroverted and is openly expressing her feelings towards Yu or hating Makoto for “being a Mary Sue” or whatever doesn’t make you quirky. In fact I’m honestly just detecting some internalized misogyny

Speaking of internalized misogyny, I cannot be the only one that finds it really weird that Atlus made all their P4 girls be terrible cooks. It felt very much like “Ahahaha look at use we made characters that don’t follow typical gender roles. Our girls can’t cook!” performative type shit

S*unao is such a bad ship. Literally any other member of the investigation team is a better/more healthy match for both Naoto and Yu.

We are done with the is Yosuke homophobic debate. It’s done. We’re done. You sound stupid. Go outside. Touch some grass. Go get a coffee. Talk to a friend.

I want to kiss Margaret. I do not care if she’s boring, I want to kiss her.

I mean it’s kinda a given that the epilogue outfits/hair kinda suck but Rise actually looks good.

Naoto and Kanji tho? Sweet baby children, what did they do to you?

Lala deserved a confidant.

Literally all of the phantom thieves were abused in some way. Idk how people don’t get this.

I wish I could say I’m sorry for this one, but I’m not. Shu*ke is not a healthy ship and if you ship them please god do not interact with me. What part of you sees a man kill another man for selfish reasons and think “they’re in love!” like what???

Bathhouse scenes in literally any piece of media are never funny and never necessary plz atlus stop doing this

Hi um I like Aigis but why was she the “mascot” for persona 3? Literally why? Koromaru is RIGHT THERE

Mama Tatsumi, Grandma Kujikawa, and Yakushiji ALL DESERVED SPRITES

Naoto sounds like they’re crying everytime they summon their persona and it’s so fucking funny

I shit on Naoto a lot but I truly believe they could take the entire Phantom thieves all at once in a fight by themselves.

How does Kanji sneak a folding chair into Junes every day? How does that work?

Akechi is a terrible person. Great character, terrible person. Why is that so hard to comprehend? I’ll never know.

That’s all I got right now. I’ll add on if I have more later.

[thatlittledandere]

idk enough about your fandoms so

fandom: uhhhh let's start with super mario franchise

ship: characters with +-5cm height difference (just so you gotta google the heights of your favs)

character: a character that definitely shops at hot topic

(idk if these had to be from the same fandom but for the sake of my mental health please pick different fandoms I've seen enough people lewding bowser)

meme

Literally never played a single Mario game but I know some characters so I’ll try

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

Luigi

Least Favorite character:

not a big fan of Wario

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

bro this is super mario

Character I find most attractive:

Princess Peach I guess

Character I would marry:

Luigi 

Character I would be best friends with:

Daisy looks cool to hang out with

A random thought:

Incredible what an impact Waluigi has had on the internet. Godspeed.

An unpopular opinion:

My canon OTP:

Non-canon OTP:

Most badass character:

Very cool of Bowser to be both a villain and a single father

Pairing I am not a fan of:

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Favourite friendship:

As said I don’t know shit but I like thinking Mario and Bowser are friends and the whole shebang is kinda just a game.

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

bold of you to assume I haven’t looked up the heights of all my faves at some point  Exactly 5cm, eh? Good news! That’s Souyo! OTP time! 

when or if I started shipping it.

When I’d been into P4 for a few months. Originally branched off of yukichie but then surpassed them pretty quickly sddgsdd

my thoughts:

I can’t fucking do this I think about nothing but them these days. And thinking about souyo, ioryuu, some of my other past or present ships and my OCs... I only know one dynamic sdfssdfg

What makes me happy about them:

Best friends to lovers. They can both get exasperated with the other, but at the end of the day, their mutual trust is deep and they think highly of each other, and even if it doesn’t always look like it, I like to think their relationship really is mutual. GOD.

What makes me sad about them:

Why were those lines left out of the finished game. WHY. Just give us a REASON, ATLUS. Also Yosuke’s low self-esteem my BRO

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Mmmm sure there are fics that don’t strike my personal fancy but I can’t come u with anything they’d have in common? I don’t think there’s a particularly souyo trope that annoys me.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Always a slut for character study and introspection and some sort of inner conflict. I WILL read and love every single one with Yosuke’s internalized homophobia saffsfsfd

My kinks:

*sweats* daddy kink... yosuke having daddy kink.... Can you believe there are NO fics of it on ao3? Tagged at least?? CRIMINAL. I can’t write smut somebody please fix this

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Yu is extremely shippable ngl. My second choice for him is Adachi but I only like that ship in very specific circumstances and would NOT wish for Yu to “end up with” him lmao. I guess Rise? They look like they’d be a saccharine sweet lovey-dovey couple and I love that shit.

I can ship Yosuke around too but... the thought of him having an endgame that ISN’T Yu... Makes me sad. Like legit. Maybe in an AU where they never met? Idk. Sorry but Yu is Yosuke’s destined partner, they’re meant to be.

My happily ever after for them:

I like to think they get together in high school, the details of when and how it happens vary. They keep in touch for the third year of high school, calling and or texting almost if not daily, both make it to college in the same city (different schools though), rent an apartment and become roommates, after that it’s kinda just a vague pink cloud of domestic bliss. They meet up with Naoto and Rise who also live in the city as often as they can. Still go to Inaba for holidays. If Yu’s parents are assholes he cuts ties with them the second he’s legally an adult. The Dojimas are his family now and they keep in touch regularly. Teddie stays with the Hanamuras and he and Yosuke start treating each other as brothers. It’s all good and conflict free and they both make new friends at their universities and they’re as supportive as the friends they already had and you know what I didn’t realize how detailed my headcanon universe has gotten. This is just a fracture of it. Jesus Christ. Um they get married as soon as it becomes legal.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you

let’s go with Ako Bandori (Udagawa)

How I feel about this character:

Goals. I hope she’ll keep that spirit and confidence even if she ever grows out of the goth thing.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Rinko ig. Not passionate about it or anything but it does fel like an obvious choice. I like their relationship as it is so I guess I really prefer them as friends but... can’t stop making gamer gf jokes sdsdf

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

like a brotp? Tomoe, absolutely. Supportive big sis 🥺

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I don’t have enough opinions to have an unpopular one lmao

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Even more NFO events, we stan a gamer girl.

My OTP:

only got that one half-baked ship :/

My OT3:

idk add Sayo to the mix. The only thing better than a gamer gf is TWO gamer gfs. (aka I haven’t thought about it) ((what? characters outside roselia exist?? nonsense...))

[princekirijo]

so fandom, persona in general and go wild, character mitsuru and ship yukamitsu for teh ask game

Hoo boy strap in folks this is gonna be a long one. 

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Persona:

Favorite character: Mitsuru Kirijo (wow really? no way..)

Least Favorite character: It’s a tie between Granddaddy Kirijo and Shuji Ikutski. I despise them with every fiber of my being and I will go to hell itself to fight them.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Yukamitsu, Shihoann, Akimina (male protag), Mitsuham, and Pegoryu. 

Character I find most attractive: Mitsuru Kirijo....

Character I would marry: Once again Mitsuru Kirijo 

Character I would be best friends with: Ann Takamaki. That girl is my spirit animal. Although I could also see myself being friends with Yusuke too!

A random thought: I know Atlus couldn’t do this because they want to keep the games separate but I can’t not imagine the Shadow Operatives not looking into the Phantom Thieves. Like I hardly think Mitsuru would ignore all the mental shutdowns and stuff, especially because the shutdowns are very similar to apathy syndrome.

An unpopular opinion: OK I mentioned this in a previous ask but I hate when people compare Mitsuru and Makoto (I might make a post about this idk). It just really bothers me.

My Canon OTP: Junpei/Chidori. It’s so sweet and I love how it affects both of them and they both grow from it.

My Non-canon OTP: Yukamitsu it is canon but oh well.

Most Badass Character: OK I’ve said Mitsuru like 5 times so instead I’ll say Joker! Some of the stunts he pulls off are super impressive!

Most Epic Villain: I hate his guts but Kamoshida. The way they built him up was incredible and I don’t think they did it as well with any other P5 villain.  

Pairing I am not a fan of: There’s a few but I think my least favorite is Minako/Ken. Atlus really fucked up there.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Half of the P5 cast OK but if I had to pick one probably Makoto Niijima.

Favorite Friendship: Akihiko and Mitsuru. One of the best friendships in the series, I love my senpai.

Character I most identify with: I feel like there’s three I identify with the most, Mitsuru, Akihiko and Yusuke all for different reasons. But mostly Yusuke I think.

Character I wish I could be: Oh um not sure. I guess Ann actually because she’s super nice and has so much compassion and confidence. I love her.

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you: 

Yukamitsu:

When I started shipping them: When I first played Persona 3. I think it was during the love hotel mission, I was playing as FeMC and me and Akihiko ended up in the room together and Yukari and Mitsuru in the other room. Then it just kept growing from there. By the Kyoto scene I knew they were my favorite ship of all time.

My thoughts: Oh god where to begin. I just love everything about this ship. Like it is a beautiful example of enemies to friends to lovers. Their mutual distrust that was born from completely different scenarios. The briefing after the full moon mission when Yukari confronts Mitsuru and that tension between them. The Yakushima scene which builds on this tension. Then that subtle warming up to each other. Yukari becomes less hostile and Mitsuru opens up more. Then bam Mitsuru’s dad dies and Yukari gets the true recording of her own father. Yukari understands what Mitsuru’s going through but in true Mitsuru fashion she’s putting up her walls again. And then the climax. The Kyoto scene. Yukari is once again confronting a hopeless Mitsuru. Helping her realize she still has things to live for. And then Mitsuru and Yukari pledging themselves to fight alongside each other and to stay by each others side. And then every other little scene after that. It’s just beautiful and I can’t even do it justice fuck did I just make myself cry writing this maybe. 

What makes me happy about them: The fact that they are willing to stick with each other no matter what. They’ve pledged to fight by each others side. And Mitsuru sticking by Yukari in the Answer even though she didn’t agree with her. Beautiful. 

What makes me sad about them: Honestly that these two have been through so much shit. They both lost their dads and have the burden of trying to save the world when they’re not even adults yet. Also it’s very difficult watching them at the start of the game when Yukari is hostile towards Mitsuru.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Um I don’t think there is anything I can think of honestly.

Things I look for in fanfic: Actual fanfics of these two that isn’t just porn. There’s not enough out there well then add to it prince, I know I’m trying :(

My wishlist: Atlus make them canon. Damn cowards.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: For both of them Minako actually lol.

My happily ever after for them: They get married and live happily ever after with a kid of their own who I may or may not have a whole concept and au for.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

Mitsuru:

How I feel about this character: OK I talk way too much about this woman because I love her so much. I would take a bullet for her. She’s helped me with so much, which sounds weird, but whenever I’m sad I’ll just drown myself in the Mitsuru tag and it makes me feel so much better. I love her story, her persona, her personality just everything. She also helped me accept the fact that I’m gay which I am so grateful for.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Yukamitsu and Mitsuham are my favorites. 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Akihiko/Mitsuru. Ultimately it’s a BROTP for me. I live for my senpai, Momsuru and Daddyhiko no I’m not sorry about calling them that lmao.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I mentioned this earlier but she should not be compared to Makoto. You know what I think I will make a post about this cause I keep saying it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: She’s dating Yukari in Arena. No I don’t take criticism. 

Favorite friendship for this character: So I’ve talked about Akihiko/Mitsuru a lot but I think one we don’t talk about enough is Aigis and Mitsuru. I think they have a really awesome dynamic and I love the way they’re working together in Arena! They’re so funny together.

My crossover ship: Not sure if this counts but Sae/Mitsuru. It’s a wlw ship too powerful for this world and I live for it.

[twilightknight17]

adraggynamedjade replied to your post: Now that I’ve started NG+, I think I’ve finally...

You forgot removing her unique first awakening. Plz God throw that shit in THE TRASH.

I’m going to be contrary and argue for keeping it!

(Gonna keep read-moreing for spoilers just in case. Just for a little longer. ...and also because I started rambling a bit. X’D)

But yeah, keep it, with the caveat that it needs to be used to show that something is wrong. And add a bit to that section so she can fight for longer, so you really get the impact.

Like, no blood is a good start, but push it further. She’s embracing “herself”, but that self isn’t actually her, so do something to her persona to show that it’s wrong. Her stats sharply decline the more you fight. Your true self can’t be at full power if you’re actively ignoring it. Or make her have trouble controlling it. It misses a lot, uses moves you didn’t select... The first few battles are fine, but it gets worse and worse the more battles you face getting out of the Palace. Fuck with the player. “Oh, I could have sworn I picked kouha, why did it use physical?” And then gradually make it clear that no, you didn’t make a mistake, it’s just not listening properly.

Maybe throw in Morgana that night going, “Huh, she doesn’t have full control of it yet. But everyone else picked it up right away. That’s weird. I’ve never seen a persona disobey like that before. And that flashy awakening...” You could even have something be visually not right about Cendrillon. Like...idk, cracked bits of detailing or something.

And then brush it off. She doesn’t need control, she doesn’t want to be a thief.

In this version, you’d have to take her out of the Casino escape, too. Which is the thing I’d most like to remove. XD Either that, or leave her, but she’s not a competent fighter at all. She definitely doesn’t “save” you. Maybe provides a distraction so you can beat up everything.

When she rejoins in the third semester, she still can’t control it properly. Goro can point out that that’s weird.

And then when you finally get past all the plot stuff and she awakens for real, give her an awakening like Futaba’s where she accepts her shadow, and a new outfit that’s just for her (give her the white gloves Atlus please I’m crying over the color discrepancy), and only then is her persona at full power and works like it’s supposed to.

[tragicallyimstillhere]

P5R spoilers

[You should probably block out the tag "anti Kasumi" in your filters if you're a kasumi fan]

Please note this is all just my opinion and I may just be being cynical and I am still waiting happily for the English release of P5R, I just need to get this off my chest

[Sorry Idk how to add the cut feature on mobile, you'll just have to scroll pass this really quickly]

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Look not to be mean or anything but Kasumi/Sumire Yoshizawa is the most garbage addition to P5R and the game would be 10000 times better if they just removed her unneccessary ass considering she doesnt even add anything plot wise, has less of a dynamic with the rest of the team than Yuuki Mishima who isnt even in the team and is only usable in one fucking Palace. Seriously, Atlus hyped this chick up as if she's going to change the scopes of P5R when she's not even the cause of the "Dream World" nor the most severe victim of Maruki's, by putting her next to Akira/Ren and Goro, two characters who ARE extremely important to the plot for obvious reasons, which is just insulting considering all she does is devalues the importance of their unique relationship by Atlus pretending shes actually important.

Everything about Kasumi/Sumire is a bland mixture of all the main girls, like her "real" appearance is just a shinier version of Futaba with Makoto's eyes, her backstory is Makoto's sister issues with Futaba's "losing a loved one to a car accident right infront of her", her "eating a lot of food so cutely" is lifted from Futaba and Ann, she has the same persoanlity as Haru, stands outs in looks like Ann and is an honor student like Makoto, shes 15 and is extremely talented in a specific field like Futaba, her "looking down" cut in in the metaverse is an obvious copy of Makoto's, even their masks are alike, like ffs her Phantom Thief outfit is literally just a female Joker and yeah I know they gave an explanation for that but its so damn half assed considering it implies that Kasumi/Sumire is unable to have her own individual idea of rebellion. She's everything and nothing at the same fucking time. Like theres nothing wrong with having similar backgrounds but sheesh Atlus didnt even try. This is the kind of character you put in a later game like P6 where the similarities to all the P5 main girls won't be so obvious. The most unique thing about her is the gymnast schtick.

Instead of focusing on fixing the shit in the base game, they decided to add a new character who's only purpose is to market P5R to dudebros. She's more useless than Haru of all characters. Kasumi/Sumire just embodies all the problems with P5R, instead of focusing on actually improving the base, they just added new stuff in order to cover up the cracks but all it does is add newer ones. The fact Atlus pushes aside the other main characters in the game so she can be as special as Goro and Akira/Ren even though she's not even a rival or an active foil to either of them is insulting to both those two and the rest of the cast.

Atlus hyped her character up so much with all the art and collaborations with her in them, the heavy emphasis they put on "The Royal Trio" (which by the way, they can barely even be considered as one considering theres nothing that makes Akira/Ren's connection with her any different to the other Phantom Thieves compared to how his connections with Goro are) and how it seemed like Kasumi/Sumire is going to one of the best characters they've ever made.

I had such high expectations and was so excited for her involvement in the story. And god damn. I was so fucking dissapointed with her. Kasumi/Sumire is easily the worst part of p5r and god damn was she NOT worth all the hype in the end. Literally just adding Maruki and the Goro stuff would have been enough, maybe Jose because he's not exactly shoved in the main story and is useful in mementos.

I think P5R is a good game, and I'm still looking forward to the English release on May. But wow, talk about having one huge red stain in the front cover.

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P5R Rant over

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 12 Review: Docudrama

Earlier in the week, Joe confirmed that the season’s final episode count would be 15 total. This will make it the series’ shortest season, though Joe has said that the final runtime is the same as S12. My point is, we are in the final stretch my friends. So last week had some mixed responses regarding Tucker... and IDC cause Grif got n Energy Sword! WHOO!!! But now, after ten straight episodes of our heroes being separate, it’s time to bring them back together.

Overview

This episode has a rather interesting premise. You know how movies have those behind the scenes documentaries/features? Well this episode is shot as one, beginning with the actors for Wash and Carolina... having sex... while the two real ones look. Jax wanted sex appeal... though he apparently plans on making a Grimmons scene so you know what? Add all the sex appeal Jax! Also hope you all can tolerate shaky came cause haha... we get light eight straight minutes of it... be afraid people.

So Sister, Tucker, and Grif have just arrived, so at last the gang is back together! We even have Grif showing off the new sword to Simmons and them proceeding to come up with sword puns, all while Simmons is in awe. Ah I missed these two being together so much. Donut also appears to joint he party! Grif isn’t happy about this considered that... you know, Donut’s with the bad guys. But Donut apologizes for getting everyone into the mess to begin with and wants to help get them out of it. This seems to satisfy everyone for now, but... yeah don’t fall for it viewers.

Grif reveals the deal to meet with the Cosmic Powers and tries to get everyone on board with it. The Freelancers have concerns however and Sarge isn’t willing to give up the gun yet. But Grif, as well as Sister and Tucker, explain about the shield protecting them and Grif trusts Huggins enough that he thinks it’ll be safe. Carolina worries that this is a trap, while Wash is just happy to be back in the usual ‘get involved in shit with the others’ groove. Before a final decision can be made, Jax wants to know more about if time travel is a bad thing or not once Tucker explains about the time line being damaged. As such, Jax wants to interview everyone and create a timeline based off everyone’s travels in order to see if there are any true consequences to all of it.

So the interviews are conducted, where it’s implied that Sister shot JFK and Grif may have killed Ceaser. Oops. Caboose also discovered Chinese finger traps. The most interesting though is Donut talking about how Chrovous saved his life and has been nothing but respectful towards him. The Reds and Blues on the other hand, well... yeah... anyways, onto the results! Jax concludes that while the Reds and Blues have failed in fixing any past mistakes or losses, there so far haven;t been any actual consequences to their shenanigains. He would know since, as it turns out, he’s been using Sarge’s gun to do some time traveling of his own. More on that later. The unified time line... well... it’s a dock. No seriously, it is an actual drawing of a dick. Science is mean man.

With that out of the way, Grif again presses everyone to meet with the Cosmic Powers. Wash still has concerns though... namely in how this is supposed to help find Church. To say that everyone is confused would be an understatement. What Wash is refereeing to is Chuch’s message last season... which IDT he ever did get told that it was just a past recording. Carolina tries to pass it off as him fooling around and while t looks like Wash realized that he lapsed again, it very clearly troubled him. But anymore discussions bout that will have to wait as the Reds and Blues take the guns and head for the Cosmic Gods. Oh and what did Jax do during his time travel you asked? He got actors like Tommy Wiseau and The Dude form Big Lebowski and cast them as the leads. Wow... wow... oh and the studio doesn’t like it, so they cut the funding and with the Reds and Blues gone, Jax can’t fix it. So much for no consequences, haha...

The Reds and Blues arrive at what we can now refer to as Starseat, the base of the Cosmic Powers. Although Jax briefly pops in via the open portal to convince them to help get funding back. It ends when Atlus throws his weapon into Jax and knocks him back into his own time. Oh and we also learnt hat Kalirama is Atlus’ wife... and sister... did I ever mention how fucked up mythology can be?! We also find out who Golfing Guy is. So there’s been a popular theory around that he is Jenkins, who was the ‘camera man’ for Blood Gulch and was in one of the S5 alternate endings. And... it is indeed Jenkins... well Genkins to be exact. He also says that the pink one is going to steal the hammer, HMM... so once intros are done, Carolina asks to hear everything form the beginning. Atlus begins to talk... and because Joe is a jerk, the episode ends there. JERK!

Review

Lets get the annoying out of the way first. SO the documentary style? I liked it! I think Joe mentioned last year that he’d wanted to o an Office-style episode in S15, but simply didn’t have the time. This was a nice place to revisit the idea. but... Joe honey, why did there have to be shaky cam? Okay I know why. It’s documentary style, and those have plenty of shaky cam. It annoys the people watching so Joe got that down... the problem is it annoys the audience. I definitely think that he should have had maybe some int he beginning, and left it after that to make it more bearable to watch. Still credit where it’s due, he got the desired emotion out of me. I’m also kind of annoyed that Tucker is back to being his usual self after the last episode, though he is acting more like regular Tucker so I guess we’ll see what happens.

So the Reds and Blues are finally together again and let me tell you, THANK GOD. I did not realize how much I missed everyone being together until this episode. I lied that it wasn’t overplayed and everything just... went into place. Grif and Simmons joking around, Sister getting referred to by her actual name, Tucker and Wash’s little ‘hey’.s to each other, it was just nice. I also liked how they discuss the issue. There’s the irony of Grif trying to get everyone to follow the plot now, the Freelaners asking questions, the Grif SIbs and Tucker explaining what they found out. Like it’s not over the top... I mean there’s plenty of humor like Grif knowing that he was gonna have to lie to Sarge to make him cooperate. But as much as I’ve enjoyed the crazy time shenanigans, it was nice to have a more calm episode of everyone just discussing what the next step is for them. IDK why I liked just seeing everyone talking so much, but I do.

There was just a lot that I loved. Like the shipping joke in the beginning, Grif still trusting Huggins, both Donut’s return and his interview bit (that hurt...), Simmons trusting Grif’s word and siding with him over seeing the Cosmic Powers, Caboose and the finger trap, the Reds and Blues trying to give themselves epic titles, it was all just great. Even with the heavier moments like Wash having another memory lapse and Carolina still trying to hide it were nice to see... and also hurt, but still well done. Everyone was just, for the most part, happy. I missed the happy.

So time travel stuff. Honestly IDK if this is a Closed Loop anymore or not due to Jax taking actors... though tbf aside form John Wayne IDT any of them are dead in the current time. So what we can conclude with the info that we have is that with the current brand of time travel, you cannot change the past. If you got your men killed or betrayed someone? You can’t change it. You feel bad about your sex life? Can’t change it. You lose a penny? Can’t change it. Now the whole ‘pizza doesn’t exist’ thing is still a huge hole... but we COULD attest that as damage to the timeline. It’s a consequence of the time travel. As we just saw with Jax’s movie losing funding, there are consequences to making changes and we saw that with Sarge where recruiting the new Reds ultimately did nothing for him.

There’s still a lot unclear about time travel, and with three episodes left IDK how Joe is going to explain it all. Maybe he won’t and we’ll have to see if he does next season. Now it looks like we’re finally getting some exposition which I think is sorely needed at this point. My guess is we’re going to learn about how Chrovous got locked away and hopefully just why tie travel is as dangerous as it is. But there’s also Genkin’s comment about ‘the pink one steals the hammer’. It seems to hint that whatever Donut is going to do, next episode he’s going to do it. IDK where that’ll lead, but I imagine that it won’t be good for our heroes...

Final Thoughts

This is probably my shortest review so far, but even so I loved this episode. The shaky cam was annoying as Hell, but it had a lot of fun moments that makes it forgivable. Plus it was just so good to have everyone back together again after so long. We have three epsodes of S16 left to go, and honestly I have no idea what to expect at this point. All I know is that whatever happens, we’re not ready for it.

[radramblog]

Nintendo Direct E3 Takes

Well we’re pretty much done with E3 at this point, and it looks like once again Nintendo is carrying the whole damn thing on their back.

This is obviously a bit biased, because I’m not really into the AAA gaming industry otherwise, and the only other potential announcement I cared about didn’t happen. You had one fucking job, Capcom. One job.

Anyway as I did last time this came around I’m giving some hot takes like every single other person on this godforsaken internet because innovation is dead and react culture is king. Shall we?

Smash DLC Fighter…10 or something idk

I mean, look. I was hoping for an indie representative. Kazuya isn’t really that. But on the other hand, Tekken rep is something I can still get behind. They’ve already got Street Fighter and Fatal Fury in there, might as well get Tekken. What’s next, Raiden from Mortal Kombat? Hell, might as well get some Rivals of Aether character in there, might as well, don’t even have to change much.

From what little we’ve seen of Kazuya’s kit, it looks like his gimmick is going to be…complicated input combos for special attacks. Hm. Well, it’ll probably be fine. People managed with Ryu, they’ll manage with Kazuya. I do appreciate that they gave this guy his demon form- I guess they had to make him jump somehow, huh?

 Life is Strange

I haven’t played the original Life is Strange, but I did watch a playthrough so I know how it goes. Don’t really know much about Before the Storm or 2, but I don’t think 2 is part of this collection anyway? Look I’m probably not going to buy this, but it’s probably good that it exists. The original was like, actual good rep, I think, so they’re probably not going to fuck this one up. New character is neat looking, good for them.

 A Bunch of games, I guess

Guardians of the Galaxy? Damn dude, did I ask?

Worms Rumble said it had 32-person multiplayer, which I was like well hang on how’s that going to work with turn-based Worms combat you’d be waiting for ever. Except it isn’t turn-based. And it looks like ass as a result. F.

Astria Ascending…I’m reading this name and I already forgot what this was. Sorry if you cared about it I suppose.

I know nothing of the Two Point…series, I guess? I keep on seeing Hospital pop up on either Steam or the eShop, and I’ve scrolled past it without thinking twice every single time. Not about to change that.

 Super Monkey Ball

I understand this series was a lot of fun for a lot of people, but it just looks miserable to me. With that said, I have seen some speedruns of these games that look incredible, so on that axis I’m happy this is getting made. Makes doing a marathon-length run of this a fair bit easier.

 Mario Party

Look I haven’t even gotten around to playing my (very fake) Mario Party 3 cart, you think I’m going to buy another 80 dollar game on top of that? Nah.

 Metroid

Yoooooooooooooo lets fucking gooooooooooooo

Okay so I’ve actually never beaten a Metroid game. Got some ways into Fusion and Super but didn’t complete either of them. But this looks super cool and good and I’m here for it. They mentioned that this was the first new 2D Metroid game in 19 years, which I guess means Fusion was the latest one.

…wait how many Metroid games are there even? Like, the original, Super, Fusion, the three Primes, and that one we don’t talk about…is that it? That feels a lot smaller than I thought it was, but I guess it adds up.

Just don’t cock it up, I guess. Metroid and Castlevania’s absence have left indie devs to fight for the Metroidvania name, and it’s about time the big boys got to come back around again.

 More bullshit

Just Dance 2022. Is this one also coming out on the Wii?

Some racing game that looks cheap as fuck, neato. Man I feel bad for the devs working on these absolute shovelware games, like I bet they’re either working hard or being worked to the bone. But this is what the result is. R.I.P.

It’s about 13 years too late for me to be caring about Dragon Ball. Especially since this is just a port. Next.

Mario Golf

I mean we saw this earlier this year. I don’t even know what was actually new in this presentation.

Bowsers outfit is fucking clean though. Once again proving himself the best Mario character.

 Monster Hunter

Fuck off Capcom. Y’all are leaving Mega Man in the fucking dust and he doesn’t deserve it.

I mean I guess ill get into it here, I mostly just wanted something, anything for the Mega Man Battle Network series. It’s their 20th anniversary, and we haven’t gotten shit so far. Literally just a MMBN collection for the switch, that’s all I want. They were even on the Wii U VC, you can just port those again, I don’t care fucking give it to me.

Anyway. Monhun? Ehhh they already showed this at their lacklustre presentation who cares.

 Warioware

Look I haven’t played this series before, it’s probably fun, but I’m not sure how they stretch microgame content out into a fully-priced game.

Also, the multiplayer looks kinda miserable? Like, in case Mario Party was a little too efficient for ruining friendships, now you can yell at one person specifically for fucking the both of you up, and vice versa. Wheeeeee.

 SMT5

Shoutouts to Squiggy, they’re super hype for this and I’m happy to see it. I personally again haven’t played this series, let alone Persona (though 4 is sitting untouched in my steam library, oops), but it looks pretty aight. I’m sure there’ll be a huge pile of demons to fuck up, or friend up, and some level of story that people will like (I have literally no idea what the plot of the series is), so. Atlus (?) has been at this for a long fucking time, they aren’t goofing this up.

 Danganronpa

Shirtless Rantaro Shirtless Rantaro  (shamelessly stolen from u/ AnaLissaMelculo on r/danganronpa)

I’m interested to see Talent Development Plan develop into it’s own fully fleshed out game. It was surprisingly good for a tacked-on minigame, and I hope that they’ll fully take advantage of its potential.

It also looks like the 4 games are releasing separately on Switch, but there is a physical collectors edition with all of them, and I mean, I can probably afford that, riiiiight?

R.I.P. Ultra Despair Girls fans, snubbed yet again. Ehhhh fuck it aside from the dialogue that game sucks ass so its fine.

 More stuff

Fatal Frame looks spooky, I guess. I dunno, I was talking to mates through half of this one so I basically missed it.

DOOM Eternal DLC, cool. I still haven’t finished the original.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater should be on the Switch, and now it is. Or, it will be, in a couple weeks. Good.

There’s something on this list of notes called Strange Brigade, and I have literally no idea what that is. Oops again.

Mario+Rabbids 2, now with a Rabbid Goth GF. I’m terrified to go on any fuckin NSFW platforms for the next couple weeks, because I’m sure everyone is drawing incredibly cursed hentai of that thing. Ubisoft sucks ass, fuck Ubisoft, don’t buy this.

 Advance Wars

This sure isn’t Fire Emblem. Actually when I was explaining to my mates why this was cool, I called it Fire Emblem but with tanks instead of waifus, except I forgot this game still has waifus. I know strategy nerds love this series, so for their sake I’m happy to see it remade. This just looks unbelievably cute.

 Zelda

Oh look, Hyrule Warriors 2 DLC, Zelda gets the motorbike now, cool who fucking cares we got more BOTW sequel footage

It does kinda bug me that people keep calling this BOTW 2, because there’s no way that’s what it’s going to be called. Zelda has never done numbered sequels. I mean, they’ve also very rarely done sequels at all, but there are a few- Phantom Hourglass is a sequel to Wind Waker iirc.

It is kinda funny that right after I was saying boo who cares to Skyward Sword remake (still mad this is one game and not a collection) that the new game clearly has SS-ass floating islands and such.

I was hoping we’d get to see Zelda do things this game. Apparently not, she’s stuck in a hole now. Or dead. A shame. But Link at least looks kickass, so.

Look, they could not say a single other thing until release and everyone would still buy this game. Breath of the Wild was an incredible enough game that so many things that vaguely resemble it get compared- Genshin Impact comes to mind. This is likely made by the same (or similar) team, in the same world, and it looks fucking incredible. We all know this is going to be a good game. My hot take isn’t going to change that.

 And that’s the tea, sis. All the shit that Ninty had in their corner of E3. It’s a pretty solid lineup! It looks like they are bringing their A-game. I was kind of surprised not to see any Pokemon stuff- while it usually gets its own direct these days, BDSP is really coming up soon and they kinda need to win back the crowd on that one.

Oh what am I saying, it’s fucking Nintendo, it’s too big to fail.

[nataliejean2412]

Thoughts during the Nintendo Switch presentation 01/12/17

While waiting to watch the presentation, I realized I really wanted to write down what I was thinking. So, here are my thoughts during the presentation. I haven’t really done anything like this before, so it may seem a bit odd. Note: Every one of these reactions were real. A few of these were typed while the video was paused, which I think worked out better than typing while watching. Either way, these are best read alongside watching the video, linked here.

Enjoy!

Pre-Start: Was this 30-mins of store-brand chillstep necessary? 33:33 - AAAAAAAHH! It's releasing too soon! My body is not ready! Help me, Reggie! Where are you? 35:42 - Nice, I actually expected a $400 price tag 36:13 - inb4 paid subscription 36:40 - Called It 37:14 - Hopefully Nintendo can help reverse the trend they started with region locking. I like the occasional imported game. 37:36 - Please tell me they aren't going to repeatedly snap for the next hour... 37:53 - Lol we think our audience doesn't know the term "Design Philosophy" 39:02 - Wait, where's the "DNA" of the Virtual Boy? Did it not get invited to the Switch orgy? I wanted VR gaming that would burn my eyes out within 10 minutes! 41:27 - 41:36 - I swear, Nintendo loves repeating themselv... WTF!? That is a shit battery life!!! 41:44 - Ok, it has a USB standard. I'm ok with the battery if I can get an external for it. (I'm calling it now, Charger bags for the switch are going to be a thing.) 42:10 - Nintendo sure wants its' demographic to leave the house. 43:33 - I can't get over these Joy-Con things. What are these, controllers for ants!? 44:35 - "Whoops, we forgot to program in our new sharing features. We'll put it in later." 44:52 - "Now you can shimmy shimmy shimmy with your new Nintendo Switch!" 45:10 - Yep, those shoulder buttons totally won't get broken being in the connector piece. 45:40 - "They fit in the palm of your hand" if you're a small child, yeah. Which, that's a good thing to bring up. They are not targeting kids in this at all. Everything i've seen is targeting the young adult crowd. 45:53 - See, this is what i'm talking about. "You can release the tension from your shoulders, and relax while you play." They're targeting the working crowd, not kids. ...well, I hope they're not targeting the working kids demographic... Also at 45:53 - "Mario Paint me like one of your French girls" 46:14 - What is this... 46:24 - Oh, look, the magic of hype marketing! 46:45 - Now you can shimmy shimmy shimmy without throwing your controller. 47:24 - Careful, Nintendo, Don't say the C-word. It's a trigger word for the Orwellians in the audience. 47:40 - ... 48:20 - I don't know why, but this whole part is making me uncomfortable. 48:36 - Nintendo seems to have a hard-on for galaxy-looking stuff nowadays. 48:51 - Yeah, this snapping thing is going to go on forever. 50:45 - Ok, now what the hell am I watching? 52:36 - Nintendo sure wants its' demographic to socialize. 52:55 - "4: Spend half an hour arguing over what to play. 5: Lament that Smash Bros isn't on the Switch. 6: Regret your early purchase." 53:54 - Oooo, some kind of fighting game, that would be interesting. They /did/ say it would be challenging. 54:00 - Office worker fighting a middle-school girl. This ought to turn out well. 54:34 - wat 54:45 - wat 55:20 - ...what am I watching? 56:08 - Arms? ARMS? Why would you name it that? They don't /have/ arms! 57:20 - Hmm, those are interesting controls. 59:20 - Arms: Because having a new idea ALWAYS means you should make it. 59:40 - Yep, wildly flailing your hands = Strategy and tactfulness, and they recommend carrying the game into public to wildly flail your hands at other people doing the same. Real social booster, Nintendo. You know your demographic well. 59:50 - Ah, Splatoon, it's so good to know Nintendo still has a hard-on for their new money maker. They totally won't repeat the mistake of letting other things fall apart from focusing on you too much. 1:01:50 - I would like to take this time to give a shout-out to whoever the English translator is in this presentation. He has just completely given up on trying to convey the emotional nuances in the presenters' speech, and it's making this much more enjoyable to watch. 1:03:07 - Oh good, now I can hurl my entire console across the room when I lose a game. It's what i've always wanted. 1:03:51 - Oh. My gods. I just saw that. That pose was actually a thing. Wait wait wait, i'mma rewind it. 1:04:25 - Well, no need. He did it again. 11/10 best dab 1:04:52 - [after that lame pan, I got up, went out for a cigarette, and contemplated life.] 1:05:05 - Ooo, another Jet Set Radio-style game? I'm down for that. 1:05:20 - wat 1:05:30 - wat 1:05:40 - Okay, so a Mario game in an urban setting? Eh, seems like a cool idea... 1:05:50 - or not 01:06:07 - Well, at least the graphics are really niDAMMIT!!! What is this low-poly nonsense? 1:06:26 - Ah, jump-roping. My favorite of classic Mario gameplay. 1:06:33 - All jokes aside, these landscapes are freaking beautiful! 1:06:50 - Ah, hat tossing. My favorite of classic Mario gameplay. Seriously though, that does add an interesting idea to the classic platform formula. 1:07:01 - 'Bowser & Peach: A Royal Wedding'. Wow. I wonder what that that kid would look like. I know Bowser Jr. turned out not to be her kid. Dammit, now I have the image of Bowser with long flowing blonde hair. 1:07:05 - Oh no, he crushed the hat. Good thing it isn't alive. 1:07:06 - Wow, Bowser Jr. and gang are looking a little white-washed. 1:07:25 - Well, Super Mario Odyssey looks pretty good. Pretty epic gameplay. 1:07:33 - AAAAAAAA! THAT THING HAS EYES! IT'S ALIVE! Mario: "Yeah!" 1:07:37 - AAAAAAAA! NOW IT HAS EYES ON THE LOGO TOO! 1:07:41 - AAAAAAAA! OH GODS NOW IT'S REAL! 1:08:32 - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I NOTICED THEM! 1:09:28 - They're launching without a Mario title. Have they not learned their lesson yet? 1:09:50 - Oh good, another Xenoblade. [skips forward in the video] 1:10:06 - [stops skipping] Wow, the graphics actually don't look half bad. That framerate looks atrocious though. 1:12:07 - Oh look, another Fire Emblem trailer that tells me nothing [massages forehead] 1:12:35 - Oh boy, it's time for the yearly Third-Party Garbage Fire! 1:12:44 - Funny, I didn't know Unity and Autodesk made their own games. It's almost like Nintendo wanted to fill this image with whatever they could scrape up. 1:13:21 - Meanwhile, at Square-Enix headquarters: "Crap, we don't have anything to put on the Switch yet. Let's just port a few games over to it for now." 1:13:41 - Oh, an Atlus game. I'm actually excited! Maybe we're getting a new Shin Megami Tensei! 1:15:00 - ... Right, moving along. 1:15:44 - Ok, this actually looks really good. Mental note: keep an eye out for Octopath Traveller. Maybe this won't be the garbage fire i'm predicting. 1:16:36 - This snapping thing... I swear. 1:17:00 - This translator is so done. I can't stop laughing. 1:17:40 - Oh good, Bethesda can now pat their own back on Nintendo Switch. Seriously, I actually don't like that they remastered Skyrim. They could have put that effort into a new game. 1:18:50 - Ok, I feel bad for this guy. That was awkward as shit, and you can tell he immediately realized it. 1:18:54 to 1:19:05 - Ok, the translator literally stopped talking. You can actually hear him scoff at 1:19:01. This is the best part of the show. 1:20:00 - And here we see the garbage fire I was predicting. This presenter looks like he just got shoved out on stage at the last second, and has no idea what he's trying to say. Even the translator is having trouble understanding him. 1:21:18 - Thank the gods that's over. Moving on. 1:21:29 - Oh dear sweet zebra, it's EA. Hold on, I wanna guess this one. Some sports game, no footage, and we'll get to the end somehow having lost knowledge along the way. 1:24:37 - And nailed it. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached the end of the ride. Thank you for attending the 15th Annual Third Party Garbage Fire. Please keep all hands, feet, and accessories inside the vehicle until the vehicle comes to a full stop. Please exit through the Gift Shop on the right, and have a wonderful day! 1:25:05 - Ok, there's the montage. It's the standard signal that it's almost over. ...wait, where's LoZ? 1:28:28 - I like how they're talking about how it's going to have a version with colored controllers like it's a game-changer. 1:29:00 - Yay, let's jump to Nintendo Europe, where they get to hear about how they are getting no information yet! 1:30:15 - Oh gods, I was just kidding before. They really did get nothing. 1:30:27 - Oh, Reggie! I'm so glad you're here. I need help! My body isn't ready! 1:30:48 - Is that Miyamoto just chillin in the background? I think he may be stuck in the US now. He's been showing up on US television a lot lately. 1:31:55 - "If you listen carefully, you can hear it floating in the air. Yep, there it is. I'm high as fuck." 1:32:22 - Yep, it was Miyamoto. Why did I recognize him from the back of his head? 1:32:32 - They are talking to each other in their own languages. This is great. 1:32:44 - AAAAAAA! Why the hell are you just jumping out of a hiding spot like that? Don't you know that's like taking the express lane to gettin’ hit? 1:32:57 - "When are we releasing Loz?" "Idk, ask him." "Oh, idk either. Ask someone in another country." 1:34:29 - Yay, finally! LoZ! Time to find out if it's a launch title! 1:35:40 - Neat, full voice acting! 1:37:55 - Woo! Launch Title! Aaand that's the end of it. That was a bucket of fun, and every bit the train wreck I thought it would be. I personally think they are rushing the release of this console, and it looks like I can count on one hand how many games there will be at launch. Like I said at the beginning, this was the first time i’ve done something like this, and it was much more fun than I anticipated. I may do a video saying this over the presentation later on, i’m on the fence about it. I may just shelve the idea until another video.  Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 5 Review: Headshots

So far this season we’ve had time travel, alien Gods, pizza quests, and Tucker cockblocking himself twice at the same time. I’d say so far so good! The question now is what crazy shenanigans will our heroes get into next? Let's find out!

Overview

So last episode, Sarge wanted to try undoing the past again, but this time round up some recruits to ensure success. I wasn’t sure if it was going to go anywhere... but Joe proved me wrong! Simmons informs us through his log that they’re now in the near present (I guess at some former Red Base from the looks of it) and Sarge has rounded up three historical figures. Agent John, Agent George, and Agent Alex. In other words John Wayne, President George Washington (from how it sounds before the Revolutionary War ended), and a dying Alexander the Great. Well, that’s certainly a dream team I never would have thought up.

So what does Sarge plan to do now? Try Broken Ridge again? Nah, at least not for the moment. Instead, they’re going to go back to Season 15 and kill Temple back when they first met the Blues and Reds. Why? Well, Sarge wants to undo Temple convincing him to turn on the others because he still feels guilty about it, though he tries to not admit that it was him even though Simmons already knows. Of course, only George has any combat experience since John is an actor with a tough guy persona and Alex is... well, dying. But they’re gonna go for it anyways. So off to Season 15 they go!

Well... Simmons has one major concern first. Remember back in Episode 2 when Donut said that the portals could only fit two grown men at a time? Well, Simmons is concerned about what will happen with five people going in at once. But when does Sarge play the safe way? So they all go through and things seem okay with them having arrived at the initial meeting of the two teams... except Simmons points out that they were supposed to get there before their past selves showed up. Naturally, Simmons isn’t keen on the idea of his past self getting killed since he’d cease to exist and wants to back out. Sarge, however, decides to press on ‘cause... it’s Sarge, do I need to make an explanation as to why?

So George creates a plan that Sarge likes and ignores Simmons’ protests about accidentally killing their past selves, deciding that the risk is worth it. John proposes a simpler plan of causing a distraction, then getting in close and shooting Temple and therefore getting rid of that risk. They go for it by sending Alex out, which lets Sarge reach Temple and shoot him at point blank. Everyone panics as Sarge does his victory dance (aka, BEST PART OF THE EPISODE) and... Jax cuts the scene... yep, you heard me right. Jax calls cut. So remember during the S15 credits when Jax proposed the entire events as a feature film? Well... looks like Joe found a use for it. So yeah... Sarge killed an actor while Temple is still sitting in a jail cell with his fish. WELP.

Jax is pissed cause... you know, his scene got messed up, but cheers up upon recognizing Sarge and Simmons. So I imagine that those reading this who haven't seen the episode (which... why are you reading this and spoiling yourself? If you are a FIRST Member, GO WATCH IT NOW!) are probably very confused. Weren’t the Reds supposed to go back in time? Not forward? Well, we’ll come back to that later. For now, Sarge is upset that he didn’t get asked to be in the movie because as we learned in that Reservoir Dogs episode in S14, Sarge always wanted to be in a film. Jax explains that he DID try to reach out to them... but no one could find them for a year now. So yeah, they are one year in the future.

Anyways, Jax gives a tour of the set with everyone wearing armor because Halo/Jax forces them. Jax is also pretty much now the angry director which absolutely makes sense... though I wonder if Joe (who is Jax’s VA) did this so that he could vent his potential frustrations about directing the show XD Hey, we all get stressed and need to let it out. Jax is also pretty much trying to turn RvB into this universe’s version of the Marvel Cinematic Universe... that explains all the Norse God references... that we haven’t had in a while. When Jax leaves to deal with a problem, Simmons figures that they got sent forward in time due to the portal being unable to handle more than two men. He also hints that they spent a year gathering the recruits, so they are in the present... yes I know that is confusing as Hell, but it’s time travel. We were going to get confused at some point. Also... I guess that means Wash should be okay by now and I imagine that he and Carolina are NOT taking the guys being missing this long well. Hopefully, we see that soon... please?

But anyways, the Temple actor is dead... but he got caught in a scandal so if anything Jax gets free press. Sarge tries to get Jax to hire him... but Jax isn’t sure and then gets called away to deal with wardrobe. So Sarge gets Agent John to help him stage a scene in order to convince Jax to hire him. Yeah, do that against one of the most well known Old West actors. Simmons finds this stupid, but he can’t stop it. Sarge goes for it... and sucks. Like... REALLY sucks. Jax casts John cause... you know, famous professional actor and all. Sorry Sarge, stick to shotguns instead of headshots. Jax’s movie goes forward. This gets Simmons to throw in the towel regarding science and Sarge feels betrayed by one of his old heroes. So yeah, pretty much everyone has either given up on the mission or, in Caboose's case, has interpreted the mission wrong. So everything is officially off the rails now my friends... or is it? 

After what’s felt like forever, we FINALLY cut back to the Cosmic Gods. We finally get to see the head God we only got a glimpse of in Episode 1... and he is HUGE. Kalirama and a bunch of other Gods are there too as well as the golfing guy whose color scheme seems to spell out that he’s going to be the Loki. The designs of these guys are great by the way, all of them having either an orange or green color scheme and armors that give them a distinctly alien feel to them. There’s also this weird echo sound effect added to the voices that make them sound other-worldly. It’s just really well done.

So as we established before, the pizza quest has invoked a prophecy that spells out the end of the universe. Golfing Guy seems excited about it, but the Head God who we learn is named King Atlus Arcadius Rex, isn’t having any of the bullshit. We learn that it’s been eons since the Cosmic Gods interfered with human affairs and there is a reference to the three Fates of Greek mythology, but none of them have spoken for a long while. This is concerning to Atlus, who fears that the Reds and Blues have been having help from within which is causing this. Golfing Guy admits it was him, but really he’s just being an asshole and it’s hinted that he may be the Trickster God that Kalirama mentioned in her debut. 

Atlus shuts everyone up, saying that the Reds and Blues antics are weakening the chains that bind him, aka who I am assuming is the true antagonist. We’ll get more into that in the review section. For now, Atlus swears that one the Reds and Blues appear again, he’ll have Muggins find them and then he shall kill them personally. Kalirama says that they can't cause they’re under his protection (whether she’s referring to Donut or someone else IDK), but this doesn't deter Atlus who makes it very clear that no matter what, his will shall be carried out.

Review

That got a lot longer than I had intended. So I wasn’t sure how to feel about the episode on my first watch... but TBF I’m about that with anything I watch. The second watch through though was a LOT more enjoyable, especially for review purposes. I honestly did not know what to talk about aside from the ending at first, but man I have so much to say about Sarge and Simmons now.

So let's do Simmons first. It’s been interesting seeing him stuck with Sarge this season. Because so far, while he has been going along with Sarge’s plans, he’s clearly not happy with it. He’s been either confused or just plain annoyed at Sarge’s antics and train of logic. Words cannot express how happy I am to see Simmons like this. Like yeah, he’s still going along with it, but compare this to Simmons in Blood Gulch. Regardless of how nonsensical Sarge was, he went with it without any question. He was a suck-up who would do ANYTHING for Sarge's approval. But as we saw with Chorus and Season 15, he’s become a lot more independent. Heck, the only reason he seems to be going with Sarge’s plan is for scientific purposes and because... well it’s either that or be stranded in the past. Plus at least it was an attempt at fixing the past, so they were trying to follow the mission. I’m kind of disappointed that Simmons didn’t finally blow up at him cause, but I guess that can come later now that he’s tossed science out the window, Still, I am so happy to see how far he’s come.

Sarge... it’s interesting really. First, it’s good to see that he still feels guilty for his actions last season, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Him also feeling bad about killing an actor, even if he won’t admit it was him, is also good. Like it looks like Joe is hitting on that flaw specifically: Sarge’s inability to admit fault. Even last season, when Sarge did admit that he was wrong, he still couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t do it again. It was still a big step, but it shows that Sarge still has a lot of problems. Add that to the last PSA and.. yeah when you really think about it, Sarge has issues. A LOT of issues. It feels like he fucked up so many times that the only way that he can deal with it is to ignore that it was his own fault if he can't just blame something else. Him wanting to kill Temple to undo what he did makes sense and really illustrates how much it really weighs on him. IDK if this is to get Sarge past this or just Sarge being Sarge, but still, it’s incredibly noticeable in this episode.

Heck going off that, it really feels like Joe is putting a lot of emphasis on the Reds having issues. Donut is pretty much God, Grif’s got his vendetta against adventure and trying to ignore it, Sarge has his inability to admit guilt despite how much he feels, and Simmons... actually he’s probably the most stable ATM since he’s mostly grown out of his kissass phase. The Blues have had it more light-hearted in comparison and... I AM SO HAPPY! RED TEAM FOCUS HELL YES! I love the Blues, but they’ve had PLENTY of focus and same with Wash and Carolina. They’ve had their issues focused on and have had character development for years now. Last season felt like it was closing the book on it to make room for Red Team Problem. I think it’s pretty universally agreed that the Reds have gotten the shaft pretty hard since... well, pretty much the beginning. They’ve had some good moments and have had some character development (Simmons’ growing independence, Sarge coming to terms with the Reds and Blues war being a lie, Grif realizing that he doesn’t want to be alone) but it feels like there’s a larger push to give them more development this time over the Blues. This makes me SO happy you have no idea. Thank you Joe!

Alright, so Sarge’s recruits! They are exactly what I would expect from him. He mentioned John Wayne in Episode 2, and of course he would be a fan of him. A tough southern film star? I imagine that Sarge has a copy of every John Wayne movie ever, even the horrible Genghis Khan one. George Washington is a well-renowned war hero and probably one of the first American heroes, so that makes sense. And Alexander the Great was known for being a great militant and conquer, so that also makes sense.... too bad they pulled him while he was dying. So two well-known militants and essentially Sarge’s childhood hero. Yeah, all of these choices fit perfectly for Sarge. I approve! I mean history got flushed down the toilet, but eh, I’m sure they’ll work it out.

So with this episode, it looks like everyone has given up on Donut’s message. Grif never cared to begin with and is still on the pizza quest with Doc unable to convince him otherwise. Caboose interpreted it wrong and Lopez can’t do anything about it. Tucker and Sister are likely banging the Game of Thrones cast by now. And with this, Sarge and Simmons are fed up and call bullshit to science. So... I have zero idea what’s going to happen now. Personally, I hope we cut to Wash and Carolina to give the Reds and Blues a break, plus if it’s been a year now then I imagine that they’re turning every planet in the universe over trying to find them. Oh and sidenote, Jax was great in this episode. I know that some found him annoying and yeah the film references could be a little too much, but making him a frustrated film director who flip-flops between being cheery and pissed off at everything works SO WELL. But anyways, IDK if Sarge and Simmons are going to stick around in the present or send everyone back to their respective time periods, we’ll see. Hopefully, the next episode progresses the plot in some way.

Alright, I’ve held on long enough. Let's talk about the ending. Holy shit, the ending. So it looks like we have a hodgepodge of various mythologies. Kalirama is based off Hindu myth, Golfing Guy seems based off Loki who is Norse and known as a trickster, Huggins and Muggins we’ve already established as being based off Odin’s ravens so Norse also, and Atlas seems based off all the king-esque Gods like Zeus (Greek), Jupiter (Roman), Odin (Norse), etc. IDK who everyone else may be based on since we didn't have enough time with them. I already talked about the designs, color scheme, and audio so not much else to say there, other than to again say I love it. And that I also want a cast list because I NEED to know who all these voice actors are.

So based off of Atlas’ words, here is my thought. IDT these guys are evil. They’re clearly the antagonists because they’re going to try to kill the Reds and Blues, but they are at most morally gray. I think that whoever it is they’re trying to keep sealed away somehow managed to save Donut and convinced him that he was God and the others were evil. Who he is could be based on anyone like Hades, Satan, pretty much any kind of evil God or God of Death that exists. But clearly, they tricked Donut to send the Reds and Blues across time so that it can weaken whatever is keeping him imprisoned and allow him to free himself. I have zero idea how that works, but we’ll learn soon enough. So... kind of annoying that the Reds and Blues are being tricked AGAIN, but TBF the circumstances are WAAAY different from when it was Felix and Temple. Very least they’re going off Donut (who also isn’t with them... also WTF happened to him since Kalirama is clearly fine?!) instead of the manipulator being right under their noses.

Final Thoughts

It was good! It’s pretty much a filler episode aside from the last few minutes, but enjoyable filler. I feel like Joe is both trying to establish how the guns/the portals work as well as to just get the silly time travel antics out of the way before going forward with the plot. The ending seems to hint that the plot is going to hit soon. As I said, we'll hopefully see the Freelancers next since it’s been four episodes now and it’ll give the Reds and Blues a breather. Regardless, it was a fun episode and I really enjoyed it. Plus Sarge’s victory dance. That in itself made this episode perfection.