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#fun fact i had actually been trying to come up with a zelda design first when I drew that Link
tinyetoile · 1 year
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I made a Zelda to go with this Link I drew a while back. Her princess outfit is on the left, her adventure outfit is on the right.
I wanted her adventure outfit to use all the same parts as her princess outfit, she just modified them for ease of movement (those pants are, in fact, her skirt, cut up and resewn. Don’t worry about where the jacket came from.)
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gbagamess · 3 years
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The 30 Best GBA Games (Game Boy Advance) of All Time 2021
The 30 Best GBA Games (Game Boy Advance) of All Time 2021
1. The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
The Icon of Zelda: The Minish Cover shirts our checklist for a variety of motives: Never-ending allure, fantastic overworld and dungeon layout, clever puzzles as well as wiser challenge aspects. The Minish Cap told the backstory of Vaati, the leading antagonist and important shape in A number of Swords. Right after Vaati petrified Princess Zelda, Hyperlink rescued a wonder sentient head wear using a bird go that, when donned, lets him get smaller into a minute dimensions just like the{Buzrush.com} Minish, the small beings who have did the trick tirelessly to aid take out darkness coming from the planet. The head wear, the game’s central quirk, was designed exploring Hyrule a lot differently than before. It opened up new locations and available new viewpoints, illuminating just how stunning the field of Hyrule actually is. The Minish Limit obtained all the prominent features of a successful Zelda online game, from excellent dungeons to whimsical townspeople for the absolute satisfaction given when launching a jewel chest. And were you aware The Minish Cap was designed by Capcom, not Nintendo? It remains to be one of the better Zelda video games of all time.
2. Golden Sunshine
Camelot Application Organizing, known for Glowing Power and Mario athletics titles, shocked every person with 2001’s Wonderful Direct sunlight, a valiant attempt at providing a unique Final Fantasy-style encounter to your hand-held foundation. And the child performed Camelot at any time to be successful. Wonderful Sunlight starred Isaac and a few other adventurers inside their quest to save the concept {Buzrush.com}of Weyard. It possessed most of the trappings of an Ultimate Fantasy online game - a help save-the-world storyline, random convert-structured battles, and summons - but it also had a good variety of overworld puzzles and much more intense tale owing to a great deal of exposition and dialogue. Its sequel, Wonderful Sunshine: The Shed Grow older, shared the tale with the perspective of the antagonists. The original is not only the best GBA RPG ever; it’s one of the best turn-based RPGs released to this day, even though both games are excellent in their own right. If you missed out on Golden Sun, find a way to play it, such as through the Wii U. A sequel called Gold Direct sunlight: If you want even more Golden Sun in your life, Dark Dawn also came to DS, as well.
3. Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow
The final and third GBA Castlevania video game, Aria of Sorrow, revealed that it had been possible for the collection to attain the level of effectiveness displayed in Symphony in the Nights. That is ideal. First, we said Metroid Fusion was better than Super Metroid, and now we’re putting Aria of Sorrow on the same pedestal{Buzrush.com} as Symphony of the Night. In contrast to its predecessors, Aria of Sorrow got the vampiric sequence into the long term, setting customers within the boots of Soma Cruz, a teen with occult energy who could produce the reincarnation of Dracula. Aria of Sorrow has got the low-linear research of SotN, meaningful RPG mechanics, a handful of great weapons, and a series of daunting but incredible boss struggles. Throw in the Strategic Souls technician, which adjusts gameplay and data by beating foes, and Aria of Sorrow was the richest entrance in the collection currently. It holds right now as one of the greatest Castlevania games, and for a flavor of a related design activity, try Bloodstained: Routine of your Nighttime on Change.
4. Metroid Fusion
It’s no great surprise Metroid Fusion was developed via the similar team that manufactured Extremely Metroid. Fusion almost looked like an not related sequel if this started in 2002. Combination showcased in a similar fashion extended {Buzrush.com}open-society to learn, allowing gamers to review and reveal ways and secrets ahead at their own speed. The team at Nintendo R&D1 highly processed the fight from Awesome Metroid and released several new power-mechanics and ups at the same time. Metroid Fusion is not just one of the best games on GBA; it’s the best 2D Metroid ever made, even though it may be blasphemous to say.
5. The Story of Zelda: A Web Link to the Earlier and A number of Swords
Not much has to be stated regarding a Url to the Past, the common top notch-lower Zelda trip for the SNES. The GBA dock helped bring the mesmerizing Dark and Light Worlds of Hyrule to hand-held correctly. The port also introduced a new element, however, named A number of Swords. This supportive mode allows a 2 to 4{Buzrush.com} player workforce to approximately get rid of puzzles and defeat baddies in dungeons. However the primary strategy is exactly what eventually earns The Link to the Earlier an increased identity within this collection, adding A number of Swords created the GBA version the definitive solution to enjoy one of the greatest games ever, even when compared to Nintendo Change On the internet type available by using a subscription.
6. Upfront Wars
Smart Techniques, the recording studio behind Fire Emblem, have also been powering the greatest transform-based method video game on GBA: Advance Wars. The idea was simple: A glowing blue army face looked out against a reddish army, every single one composed of tanks, infantrymen, and artillery. Boasting difficult proper gameplay, a deep promotion, as well as a chart creator, Progress Competitions got all the things a technique enthusiast could want. Like Fireplace Logo, Advance Conflicts originated from{Buzrush.com} a Japanese exceptional collection named Famicom Conflicts, so we are rather lucky to get it in Canada And America. The GBA also got a sequel in Advance Competitions 2: Black colored Pit Escalating. Whilst great, it observed more like add more-on information due to the actually powerful forerunner, as well as the DS sequels weren’t as vintage since the initial. For your similar practical experience, look at Wargroove on Nintendo Swap.
7. Metroid: Zero Goal
Exactly what do you get if you mix the atmosphere and nostalgia in the authentic Metroid with current mechanics? Properly, a darn great sport. Metroid: No Vision, a reimagining of your 1986 classic, retold the storyline of Samus Aran’s initial venture together with the enhanced fight evident in Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion. {Buzrush.com}Beautiful to view and even far better to engage in, Zero Objective manufactured going back to World Zebes feels fully unique again.
8. WarioWare: Twisted!
Established from the frantic “microgame” formula of WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgames! , WarioWare: Twisted! included drive comments - certainly one of only two GBA game titles to possess the feature - and also a gyro sensing unit. The outcome? An event unlike another for the hand held. Microgames are necessary competitors to complete speedy-flame activities within minutes. None of the games were particularly complex, but all of them were entertaining. Also the plan, which associated Wario getting{Buzrush.com}mad with a game on GBA and flinging the handheld at the wall structure, fell completely in line with the game’s irreverent development. If you played it in public, ferociously twisting and turning your GBA like a madman, on a scale of sheer “fun value,” you’d be hard-pressed to find a more satisfying GBA game, especially. Some of the games can also be found in the 3DS generate WarioWare Yellow gold, in conjunction with microgames from the other collection.
9. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga kicked off of one among Nintendo’s best Mario games and spin off selection. Despite the fact that starting off within the familiarized Mushroom Empire, the video game speedily transitions to Beanbean Kingdom, a substantial world how the bros should traverse to recover Princess Peach’s speech. Split{Buzrush.com} up to the core concept, Superstar Saga had been a flip-dependent part-playing activity. But Nintendo and today-defunct programmer AlphaDream layered the combat by adding timing-structured maneuvers that nodded to Mario’s platforming origins. Controlling Mario and Luigi all at once also contributed to the game’s many fun spot puzzles. Superstar Saga stands apart today as the GBA’s ideal RPGs.
10. Closing Imagination VI
Closing Fantasy VI did not arrive at Game Child Upfront in America till 2007, greater than two year period after the Nintendo DS started. Often, it is introduced like a “thank you” to Activity Boy followers for his or her lengthy-standing help and support. Final Fantasy VI was a pitch-perfect port that brought the epic story, strategic {Buzrush.com}gameplay, and wondrous soundtrack to a handheld device for the first time, as one of the best entries in the long-running role-playing series. Final Fantasy VI rightfully earns a spot on our list, even though the GBA also received great ports of Final Fantasy I & II, Final Fantasy IV, and Final Fantasy V. It is merely the most effective RPGs ever produced and one of many top Closing Imagination game titles in recent history.
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https://www.buzrush.com/the-30-best-gba-games-game-boy-advance-of-all-time-2021/ 
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attllhak · 3 years
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Flora’s Musings
So, here’s the WingAU fic I mentioned. It’s the first one I wrote and features the fun trope of “The Unreliable Narrator That Is History”, which I had a lot of fun with.
I, don’t have a tag list for this AU at this point. So, this part is just my preamble I guess. So, preamble over, here’s the fic.
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Zelda ran her fingertips between her shoulder blades. She tried not to think about what wasn’t there.
Her wings would come in, she hoped, no she knew they would. They had to. As the princess fated to stop Calamity Ganon it was her duty to unlock her sealing powers, face him, and earn her wings.
It was why she was down here now, in the hidden and secret library they’d excavated. No one cared about this area of the castle, but Zelda loved it there. It was so full of knowledge, and there were records about the Queens and Princesses of the past, ones who had wings themselves.
It was certainly a good excuse to hide down there and do research.
There weren’t many documents on the founders of Hyrule, but she’d translated a few of the ancient texts and had learned much. Apparently her powers came from the fact she was descended from Hylia herself! There were exactly three paintings of her down there, and all of them were old and weathered. Two, one of her alone and one next to her husband, the first King of Hyrule, who was holding the Master Sword, his own wings giving him away as the first of Link’s incarnations, were so old almost all of the colour was gone. The last one, however, had been tucked into a book and, protected from the elements, retained some of its colour.
The goddess reborn had gold wings, bright and shining and as beautiful as everyone expected them to be. Her Hero, however, had red wings, a bright crimson with soft gold flight feathers. What was more, this painting seemed to depict them in their downtime, the goddess still dressed up and all, but leaning over the edge of her throne. Her Hero sat on the dias and leaned against the throne, and was messing with something in his hands that the goddess seemed to be watching, though age obscured what it was. It was entirely unprofessional and sweet, and it made Zelda happy. It made them seem less like untouchable figures of pure good and more like real people. She liked that they were people too.
There was only one picture of the next Queen, and it was so old and weathered that Zelda was scared to touch it lest it crumble into dust. This queen had smaller wings, though Zelda couldn’t tell what colour they were supposed to be. Her Hero was there too, and he had four wings, and Zelda couldn’t be sure but it almost seemed like each wing was a different colour. She couldn’t find any other record of these two, and so she’d taken a picture of the image on the Sheikah Slate to preserve it. This painting was important.
One of the Queens came from the point in history called the Split, a strange period of several thousand years where very different events happened at the same time. They had, through the records in the castle libraries and the temples across Hyrule, figured out this Queen had lived three different recorded lives. Regardless, she always looked the same, or similar at least, in all of her lives. She was a warrior, and her wings, indigo and white and flecked with gold, were always held in a way that showed pride.
Her Hero wasn’t always with her, in two of her lifetimes she ruled alone. In one of them, her Hero had died trying to fight Ganon, and was buried with wings wrapped about him, as was traditional for Heroes and their Queens. The Queen had been Princess then, the books say, and was only 17. I made Zelda uneasy, Link had turned 17 just a few months ago, and her 17th birthday was fast approaching. To think the Hero of Time could die at 17 made her worried for her own Hero. The next of the two he just, wasn’t there. There was no record of the Hero after he defeated Ganon, he just vanished without a trace. Zelda still wanted to know why. The last life gave the most information on the Hero, but he wasn’t listed as a Hero at all. There was no fight in this life, just peace and a failed arrest. As far as historians could tell, this was the most accurate life of hers, but Zelda wasn’t so sure. After all, she and the head of her Royal Guard both had wings. Something had to have happened. These were the only records of the Hero of Time where his wings were visible. A beautiful metallic copper, with darker bronze flight feathers. He seemed to keep them close to his body, like he didn’t want anyone to pay attention to him or them. He apparently married a farm girl in this life.
There were different heirs in each of these lives. For the first life the Queen was a fighter, one with all kinds of magic at her fingertips. Her wings were pink and red, and when she spread them a little bit of gold could be seen at the base of them. This was a Queen who never shied away from the many, many issues her people faced. And many issues there were, records argued whether the number of quests her Hero went on was five or six or twelve. He seemed grumpy in every painting, but after seven-ish quests Zelda would be too. His wings were pink, a million different shades at once. He also seemed to prefer long tunics or dresses to pants. Apparently he didn’t like pants.
After them came a pair of Queens. Zelda initially thought they were cousins, but apparently one was the other’s ancestor, as bizarre as that was. Only one of the two had wings, a soft amber or honey colour, a safe, warm brown. The Princess didn’t have wings, but was no less important if the records and paintings were to be believed. Their Hero didn’t look like much, but his wings, a deep, dark green with earthy brown flight feathers, told of his heroics enough that his looks didn’t have to. Records said he married the Princess, but they never had children, instead helping the Queen raise her bastard twins as a group. Zelda wondered if perhaps the three had all been together, so to speak, and the twins were actually his.
In the second life, there was only one heir, a woman who was named ‘Tetra’ and not Zelda. Her wings were blue, with red separating the blue from gold flight feathers. It was a beautiful colour. Her Hero was usually pictured at her side, his silver tipped sea foam green feathers shining next to her. Those two were always painted outside, and usually on a boat of some kind.
Following the timeline that was decided to be ‘true’, the Queen following the Queen of Three Lives was her great-granddaughter. Her wings, sleek and graceful, were solid black save for the lowest layer of feathers, which was a soft golden-orange colour. Her Hero was hardly ever at her side, history said he spent most of his time in his home village or on assignments for the Queen. Zelda didn’t know if they didn’t get along, or if he hated the city and castle, or why it was that he was never around his Queen, but there was only one painting of him next to her. His wings were big, wide and strong, a range of soft oranges with a rare black feather scattered across them. He also wore a strange charm on a rope around his neck, but no one seemed to know what it was.
The only other Queen, save for the one from 10 000 years ago, was one with a story so outlandish that historians debated on whether or not she was real. She always held a sword or bow in hand, and her wings were either spread for flight or held in close for combat. They were gold, with white flight feathers that seemed to go indigo at the base of each feather. Black flecked the gold, making it obvious she was a fighter. Her Hero was always with her, his wings out behind him, flared up in a show of pride or confidence, a rallying cry for his troops. They fought in a war, so the records claimed. His wings were gold, shiny silver spots scattered over his wings, not dissimilar to the stars in the sky, that made his wings look like they glittered. He was beautiful, as was his Queen, and it was clear that the two were very close.
There weren’t any records on the wings of the Queen 10 000 years ago, nor her Hero, and Zelda didn’t know why that was. Perhaps those records were lost when the Sheikah split. It was unlikely she would ever know.
Zelda didn’t know when her wings would come in, and some days she feared they never would. It was a comfort at least that Link’s wings hadn’t come in yet either.
He found her a few hours later, bringing her a blanket and some food. He sat with her and politely signed a request for her to read to him. They read all through the night, and Impa found them the next morning, Zelda leaned over the desk with her head on her arms and Link leaning on the side of her desk, head tilted back and drooling. She left them there.
When the Calamity hit and she didn’t get her wings she felt like such a failure, especially since Link’s wings had just broken skin a few moments ago, greyish brown wings that were still all fluff coming through the slits in his tunic designed to accommodate them.
She sat next to him in the Shrine of Resurrection, just before they sealed it. His wings were still small, they had never had the chance to come in fully before he fell. She reached over and brushed hair from his face, watching his relaxed features and ignoring the burns on the rest of his body.
“Don’t worry, Link,” she whispered. “I’ll make sure they’re all safe until you wake up,”
She marched on the castle then, staring down the Calamity and ready to give everything she had to keep him at bay.
She reached forward, holding her hand out to the monster and ready to fight. She could feel the triforce on her hand burn in response, her body spilling a radiant golden light. The monster dove for her, and she held her ground, eyes open and ready to stand and fight.
A push on her shoulders, then the pressure bursting and wings spread out behind her.
Blue and white feathers sat on the ground where she was moments before.
(---)
Link stepped into the castle, tiny wings fluffed up in anxiety and nerves making them quiver. He paused as he moved towards the heart, lifting one foot.
Under his boot, was a pair of blue and white feathers, perfectly preserved from when they fell there 100 years before.
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baeklooming-day · 3 years
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Meet me at the game arcade | Baekhyun
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𓍢 Summary: There is this boy at the game arcade who is determined to win not only the plushie, but you together with it.
Masterlist
𓍢 Mini-playlist 💖 Moodboard by @kjikaila​
𓍢 Genre: 90s!AU, Fluff, Cheeky Baek is back (you know the thing!!)
𓍢 Word Count: 6.6k
𓍢 A/N: Big credit to my beloved Tokyo, because I used to hang out at game arcades after school and often cute boys could be found there. 😇
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Purple-ish, violet-ish, even blue-ish looking twinkling beams were soaking through the two lonely, candy floss bearing resemblance to fluffish clouds which appeared to cover the city beneath for a little while.
It wasn’t even summer anymore, but the sun seemed to be in a mood to let the light spill on everything beneath, letting little sparkles of vitamin D play on the walls of buildings, shining through the glass in windows, gleaming on all these colorful advertisements plastered around the district and making it seem as if the city was floating in the glinting sensation, warm light reflecting all possible kinds and shades of beautiful lilac color palettes.
Usually, you wouldn’t be the one to appreciate a similar weather very much, but given that the last two weeks had been nothing but wholly rainy and generally anything but pleasant in terms of weather outside, you found yourself being happy to be able to welcome the prickling sunlight on your skin.
You rested your chin on your knuckles, slowly closing your eyes and letting a lazy smile fall onto your scarlet tinted lips. You considered yourself lucky enough that you usually managed to arrive in class before all of your classmates, given that in that manner you could always pick the best seat without having to rush through the hallways to reach the classroom and dash to your desired desk.
And today, after all those gloomy days soaked in cold raindrops and weighing dust grey clouds, you found your seat to be even more than perfect.
The classroom wasn’t big, it was actually way smaller than you would like it to be, but as if to recompense that it had really large windows. And large windows meant a lot of sunlight to pour into the room through them, an obvious fact of which you couldn’t be more content about as you sat comfortably in the penultimate seat right beside one of those windows.
You had stopped paying attention to the lesson for what already felt like a whole thirty minutes ago, the dancing sunbeams only making you feel lazier and also kind of sleepy, completely switching off your usual concentration. You continued letting your face bathe in the pleasant sun rays which, now playfully peeking through the glass were gracing the monotonous classroom in cheerful gold shimmers. Your thoughts in the back of your mind started to slowly mix together with your teacher’s soft voice speaking about the last pages of your Japanese lecture in the background of which, right in that moment, you couldn’t really bring yourself to care about.
Your classmates were surprisingly quiet today, and in that current state you would probably soon drift away into your own personal dreamland even further, if not the little vibration coming from your phone placed under your hand on your desk.
For a split second you almost got a mini heart attack as the sudden text message made your pastel purple Nokia 3310 let out some rattling sounds as it moved ever so slightly on the wooden surface of your desk. You looked around a little bit startled, hoping that nobody noticed the brief faint noise.
Pulled back into reality, you quickly slid the device behind your equally purple colored pencil case, unblocking the screen with a click of one button and checking the received SMS. You felt a wide smile spreading on your lips as you read the text, it being from your friend announcing to you that her classes ended earlier today, and that she would be waiting for you to join her outside by the school entrance.
As you threw a quick glance at both the clocks on your screen and on the wall above the door, you found yourself seriously envying your friend, because it looked just as if she was always getting the cooler and chiller teachers who were actually able to understand that on the last lesson on Friday the kids weren’t the most likely to sit still and obediently follow the lesson anymore. Also given that today’s schedule, just like every other Friday which was simply laughable in your honest opinion, was absurdly long. Your lessons extended from eight in the morning until past three in the afternoon, which compared to the earlier weekdays you just refused to acknowledge.
You let out a deep sigh as another long minute had passed on the clock, mentally begging the time or whoever or whatever might be in charge of time management in the universe to quicken it up a bit.
Almost fifteen minutes left until the long awaited, two days freedom, also commonly known as the weekend. Just like everybody else, you were always impatiently waiting for the last lesson to be finally over and to let you hang out with some friends, and do other longed for fun activities for which you unfortunately didn’t have any time during the normal school week.
Until just now, you had always been included in the casual hangouts at the mall with your wide group of school friends, in going to the theater to check out the latest movie releases, or meeting up at your, by now beloved, cute small diner to eat some cherry cakes which quickly became popular around the area. But as of recently, the loud ringing sound on Fridays which announced the end of the lessons and beginning of the weekend, totally changed its meaning for you.
You weren’t as thrilled as you saw the large advertisement for the opening of a brand new game arcade for the first time on your way home one day, but as soon as you and your friend Miko decided to quickly see what it was all about and peeked inside on the big opening day, you already knew that you would visit and spend your coins at that place much more often than anyone could even imagine.
It was one of the branches belonging to SEGA group, it wasn’t any super large game arcade but at the same time it also wasn’t the smallest you had ever been in.
It was just ideal, and managed to balance perfectly the two things which you used to be crazy about the most when you were a little younger.
With that being said, the new game arcade was divided into more or less two sections, one being filled with all kinds of games starting with The Legend Of Zelda and ending on Pokémon, Super Mario, and many, many more in between. The second section was a little bit different, but not less interesting, perhaps only overlooking the fact that most of the time it tended to be a lot more nerve-wracking than you could ever expect from its harmless and pretty appearance.
The free space was filled with all kinds of plushie and toy automats, the whole room being so eye-catching and colorful that it was almost impossible to just pass by without giving it a proper look. It had literally everything you could ever dream of, soft and lovely teddy bears in every possible color, dolls, game characters, manga figures, even little charms which you could attach to your keys or your bag.
Truly a magical place flowing with milk and honey, if not the one unnerving fact that very often it was literally impossible to get the doll you wanted out of the automat at first try. Of course, it wasn’t such a big deal given that one turn costed exactly one hundred yen which wasn’t a handful of money after all. But if you calculated all your losses and all your future, probably failed as well, attempts together, you were very likely bound to leave at least around one thousand yen at the game arcade for literally nothing in return.
Sometimes you couldn’t hold yourself back from wondering that maybe that was the secret of the success of game arcades, and that the companies designed the automats like that on purpose to always drop the toy before it could even reach the hole and land safely in your hands.
There were times where you would loose even more than a thousand yen in an attempt to win the plushie you wanted, almost throwing your wallet against the glass as it became always much lighter and lighter with passing of each failed round.
There were times like this at the very beginning of that arcade fever, but after a while you found yourself becoming always better and better at fishing out all those dolls and bears. As the time flew by, you also found your bedroom nearly starting to drown in all those soft joys of every childhood.
But you didn’t really care.
And as soon as you got a notice that there was a new plushie automat to be about to be installed in the game arcade, you just knew that you needed to try it out immediately with the first better opportunity.
Which just came perfectly today.
You almost let out a squeak of joy as the bell finally rang, announcing the long awaited end of the last Friday’s lesson.
You quickly collected all your belongings from your desk and your seat, swinging your lilac bag over your shoulder and rushing out of the classroom in the direction of the stairs.
Luckily enough, you managed to dash through the corridor and down the stairs before the crowds of other students could block you.
As you reached the exit of the school building, you saw Miko standing right in front of it, her back turned at you. She was lightly swinging to the left and to the right, probably listening to some music on her brand new MP3 player she’d been talking about lately.
A little mischievous smile fell on your soft lips as a marvelous idea popped up in your head.
You took a few steps forward, careful to be quiet but, considering the fact that the music in her earphones was probably blasting, you didn’t exactly need to. You slowly pushed the glass door open, sneaking up on her and swiftly throwing your hands before her eyes to cover them.
„Holy freak!” Miko let out a startled scream, gaining a muffled laugh from you. „Who’s this? Y/N?” She started to turn her head to one side and to another, making you chuckle even more at the sight.
„It’s me. Mario.” You said, still covering her eyes and trying not to laugh out loud, seeing that you were visibly in a great mood today.
„And I’m Luigi. Can I get my vision back now, please?” She said, placing her hands on yours and pulling them away.
„Do you have enough ready money for the afternoon?” You asked, moving to stand in front of her.
„No duh, I’ve got exactly ten of one hundred yen coins just for the occasion.” She held up her blue wallet for you to see, the sound of loose coins bumping into each other audible as she gently shook it. „And I’m not going to spend a single yen more today, last weekend was fly but I became poorer of a whole six thousand.”
You sent her a scrutinizing look. „And you really think that it will be enough? You know, I’ve already told you before that they have a new automat and stuff.”
„Yes, you have, but still. If I don’t get the doll I want after two tries, I’m bouncing. And I will play Super Mario for the rest of the evening.”
„As if! I know you Miko, you will get just as addicted as every other time.” You let out a laugh, grabbing your friend’s hand and pulling her forward together with you.
„No, I’m telling you!”
The two of you continued to chatter along as you walked in the direction of the game arcade. It wasn’t that much of a long walk, knowing that it was located just a few streets away from your school.
The sun had yet quite an amount of time to start setting, but as you walked between the buildings decorated with bright and colorful advertisements of all possible kinds, it started to throw even more beams which reflected all those purple, blue, and yellow colors, surrounding you with a fairy like atmosphere in the afternoon hours.
„You know, last time as I was in the arcade I asked which dolls will the new automat have, and they told me that it would be supposed to have teddy bears, and-” You talked, being completely caught up in your own bubbling excitement about the new gain in the game arcade.
„Teddy bears?” Miko interrupted your flowing thoughts. „Y/N, you’ve already got like, a whole room of teddy bears. Not mentioning that last time you won not one, but TWO identical Totoro plushies and a Sailor Moon doll, too.” She rolled her eyes, giving you a questioning look. „You own a whole load of them. A whole storage! I’m actually asking myself if there is anything in the entire arcade what you haven’t got at home yet.”
„Well, I mean, that new automat is supposed to have a panda bear plushie and a plain white teddy bear, so, you know, I need to enrich my collection with these two.” You said, reaching your hand to your bag to pull out your phone.
You failed to notice the small group of boys, more or less around your age, walking past you and directing themselves straight into the game arcade building which finally came into your view.
You were just about to answer a text message from one of your other friends, when you were rapidly pulled back into reality with a not so gentle nudge to your side.
„What-” You turned your head to your left to look at Miko, question marks visible in your eyes as you were met with your friend’s amazed expression. „What? Why did you stop all of a sudden?”
„Y/N, I think you don’t see what I’m seeing. Look.” She pointed her finger at some point in the distance, a little blush coloring her cheeks.
You followed where she was pointing, finally noticing the group of boys from earlier which you failed to see.
There were four of them altogether, standing before the open arcade entrance and talking eagerly. Two of them were really tall, whilst the other two were rather short in their height, but all of them were wearing plain white tees. Your eye caught one of the shorter boys, who as the only one among them was wearing a blue bomber jacket with white prints. He had what you would call a baby face, his features were soft, or at least you could observe that much standing a few meters away from him. His hair was of a chocolate brown color, and as his voice reached your ears, you had to admit that it sounded truly so smooth like velvet.
You felt your own two cheeks warming up a little, a sensation which you didn’t like even a bit, as the boy locked eyes with you, his wide smile immediately disappearing from his lips only to be replaced by an expression of awe.
You stood there completely frozen in your spot, clenching your purple Nokia in your hand and feeling slightly flabbergasted by the whole sudden situation, not really knowing what was going on.
The last thing you saw before you were harshly pulled back into reality once again, was the other three boys looking questioningly at their friend who’s eyes were fixed on you, soon the entire group looking right at you.
And then you heard it, the loud ‘ooooooh’, ‘damn’, and ‘oh my god’ followed by the three of them lightly hitting the shoulders of their friend, starting to shake him and becoming even louder when he didn’t react, instead still looking at you.
When you finally snapped out of the weird trance, you quickly turned to your side to Miko who was now covering her mouth to prevent the invasive giggles from escaping.
„Oh snap.” You only said.
„Y/N, THIS, this is exactly what I’ve been talking about.” She said. „You are always so immersed in the games that you totally fail to notice all those cute boys being around!” She almost exclaimed the last words, stomping her both feet on the ground repeatedly, for some reason visibly excited.
„Well that was hella weird.” You said, still trying to process what had just happened. „Do you know them?”
„Um, well, I mean-” She started, now her being the one to grab your hand and pull you forward. „I keep my eyes always wide open, you know. And I just happened to see them at the game arcade the last time we were there. That hottie in a blue jacket seemed to have taken an instant liking to you back then already, but we bounced out too quickly for them to approach us.” She blabbered, instantly becoming a thousand times more cheerful than before.
The two of you were coming always nearer to the entrance of the arcade, and what followed always nearer to the group of boys who, now noticeably quieter, were still standing in their spot.
With your left hand still being held by Miko and your right hand still holding onto your phone, you tried your best to avoid the gaze of the said boy in a blue jacket as the two of you continued moving closer to the entrance.
What was his deal anyway?
„You know what Miko, did you take a good look at them when you said that you saw them before?” You asked your friend, feeling your cheeks heating up once again as you accidentally locked eyes with the boy one more time. „I mean, maybe from a close up they’ll be total monets.” You added, not even knowing what you were trying to convince yourself about, because as you came always closer you had to admit that the said group were even better looking from up close.
„Awe, Y/N, always the negatory. I’m sure they’re not some scrubs too, though. Besides, just look at them now.” She said, an ounce above a whisper. „They could totally be in a boy group with those looks.”
And unfortunately, you couldn’t deny, as with every following step you were getting a more detailed view, as well as you were feeling more and more being practically eaten by those two dazzling eyes which didn’t leave you even for a brief moment.
You just wanted to get inside the arcade and concentrate yourself on the new plushie automat, not on dealing with some random group of boys who apparently enjoyed staring at girls way too much for your liking.
That was right, as said it was too much for YOUR liking, but Miko didn’t seem to mind at all.
Even the whole opposite, she seemed to be having the time of her life, particularly when the other shorter boy with big cat-like eyes sent her a dazzling smile.
„Oh snap, oh snap, oh snap, did you see that, Y/N, I think I forgot how to breathe.” A scarlet blush spread on her cheeks, whilst she nervously squeezed your hand. „That guy is literally so handsome.”
„Girl, Miko-” You started gently, but as you looked at her frozen in her spot with literal hearts in her eyes, you knew she was already gone to make some lovey-dovey unthinkable scenarios in her head.
You talking wasn’t probably going to do much anyway, but you needed to snap her out of it.
You tried to gently pull her with you and finally enter the arcade. „Miko.”
Nothing.
„Miko-”
Still nothing, and as you threw a quick glance at the boys, you saw that the one with big eyes was continuing to unceremoniously smile at your friend, meanwhile she was returning all those candy smiles.
What was it, a smiling contest?
No, you thought, that was completely stupid.
„Miko, I swear-” You snapped your whole arm into the direction of the entrance to bring her attention back to the arcade a little too harshly, forgetting that you were still holding your phone in that hand.
In the result, your phone was sent flying out of your hand all the way across the sidewalk which separated the two of you from the group of boys, before you could do anything to stop it.
You watched in terror as it ended its small flight right in front of the boy in blue jacket, landing with a loud thud on the ground by his feet.
„MY NOKIAAAA!!” You yelled, not caring at all about the other people around who were now giving you weird or startled looks.
„Y/N-” Miko seemed to finally notice what was going on when you let go of her hand, and started to take large steps closer to the boy to collect your phone.
You could clearly see it as his face immediately lit up and his eyes rapidly fell on your purple Nokia laying on the ground, apparently an idea coming to his mind.
„For the love of-” You mumbled through your teeth, as you watched him bend over to pick up your item. „... all the snaps given.”
You let out a low sigh as you ruffled your silky hair with your hand, starting to finally walk into the direction of the boy, being extra careful not to accidentally lock eyes with him once more.
You had always been that exact type of person who wanted to avoid any unnecessary interaction with other people, in particular if you had other, significantly more important plans ahead of you and didn’t want to lose your time.
That could be an issue right now, you thought to yourself as with every step closer to him his smile grew wider, not even trying to conceal it.
„Um-” You started, as you stood right in front of his frolic face. „That would be mine.” You said, raising your finger up to point at your phone.
Your eyes quickly fell on the purple surface and the screen, trying to thoroughly inspect if any possible damages had been done by the fall.
The boy seemed to notice the visible concern im your eyes, letting out a soft, melodic chuckle whilst handing your Nokia to you. „I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” He said. „This model is practically indestructible. Lasts longer than most relationships.”
His remark made you raise one eyebrow at him, squinting your eyes ever so slightly whilst you retrieved your phone. „What a nice comparison. And you’ll be speaking out of experience, I assume?”
You were absolutely sure that your unpleasant comeback would make him immediately not wanting to continue to talk to you, but to your surprise you couldn’t be more wrong. Instead of a sign of dislike, you could make out a sparkle of fondness shining even brighter in his brown eyes.
Weird, you thought.
“No, I’m not.” The boy replied, smiling contentedly. “I was actually quietly hoping that mine would outlive any model of Nokia 3310.” He added, giving you a smile sweeter than the previous one.
In response, you merely granted him a brief look before taking a step away, intending to finally enter the arcade. “Good luck with that.”
Trying to completely conceal the awareness of his glowing presence still behind you, you quickened your pace, basically dashing through the open doors to the inside of the colorful arcade and not even bothering to wait for Miko anymore.
As soon as you went inside you were met with a lot of frolicsome lights and sparkles, the small alleyways between all sorts of games being flooded with light coming from the screens of game automats, each one of them showing the start menu of a different popular game on the lambent display.
It didn’t take you too long to find the longed for, newest, totally polished and even more so inviting plushie automat which has been continuously on your mind this whole time, basically calling out your name to you as soon as you finally came to a view of it.
It was lovely, appearing even more so enthralling to you in real life than as it did on the mere advertisements plastered around the arcade.
Without losing a single minute, you took your wallet out of your bag and took a large step closer to the automat, your eyes stopping on every plushie trying to decide which one to go for.
Finally, they stopped on a cute small panda bear which instead of being just plainly black and white, was purple and white.
That was the one.
You opened your wallet, taking one shining coin of one hundred yen worth.
Just as you were about to throw it into the automat, you were startled by a sudden familiar voice coming from right behind you.
“Hey home skillet, why did you run off like that?” Miko materialized herself next to your ducked down figure, leaning on the glass of the plushie automat.
You looked up at your friend, feeling a little guilty for doing so. “My bad? But I really didn’t want to talk to that dude in a blue jacket.” You murmured, bringing your attention back to the purple panda.
Miko scrunched her nose, letting out a loud sigh. “Why are you always rejecting all the sweet boys? He even picked up your phone for you, come on.” She said, before startling you again with a sudden squeak. “BUUUUT! Y/N-” She started, covering her mouth to prevent the next invasion of uncontrollable giggles from escaping, jumping up and down in her spot and causing her black soft locks to slide on her forehead. “ That hottie with those big eyes. Oh my god Y/N. I actually talked to him just now, and guess what he told me.” She paused for a brief moment, only to let out another squeak. “His favorite game is also Super Mario! And he asked me if I wanted to play it with him today, oh my god, Y/N.” Miko was breathing so quickly, that as you looked up at her once again, you started to become honestly worried if soon she would start to hyperventilate.
“And I assume you said yes?” You asked, but you already knew the answer anyway.
“Of course! I mean, did you see him? A model!” She answered.
“So you plan on leaving me all alone here?” You asked. “Are his friends still here?” You added, carefully peeking from behind the plushie automat you were still ducked down by.
Your eyes widened in terror as you sneaked a look and spotted the group walking down the aisle.
“I won’t leave you! But just let me have this one? You know how much I would love to get a proper date!” She replied, throwing longing looks in the direction of the boys. “And Y/N, if that blue hottie comes to talk to you, please be nice.” She added quickly.
“Miko, do you perhaps know something that I don’t know?”
“What? Noooooo, not at all, what makes you think that?”
You let out a small sigh, rolling your eyes at your friend. “Whatever.”
You brought your attention back to the display with all the plushies inside, finally inserting the coin into the automat and starting to try to fish out the purple panda bear.
You were still sensing a presence next to you, so thinking it was just Miko who hasn’t left yet, unbothered and completely oblivious, you continued to give all your concentration to the little plush bear you already almost had clasped.
Just as the bear was nearing to fall into the designed hole and right into your hands, the metal claws let it go in a trice, in effect the bear bouncing back, away from the hole.
Unbelievable.
A soft snicker reached your ear, so without even caring to turn your head you just rolled your eyes again. “Very funny Miko, you know that it usually never works at the first try very well yourself.” You said, taking out another one hundred yen coin to insert and try again.
“Sometimes it does.” Said a velvet like voice.
You immediately snapped your head to the left, your eyes widening one more time as you realized that it wasn’t Miko standing next to you, but the boy in a blue jacket.
You involuntarily squinted your eyes at him, looking up. “You again.”
He seemed to be completely immune to you not being the nicest, instead jumping straight into any normal conversation you would usually have with a friend.
Out of all people, and out of all days, why you and why today?
Guess you would never know.
“Your name is Y/N, right?” The boy asked. “Your friend with the black hair told me when we were still outside.” He continued, his melodic voice filling the space between the two of you, for some unexplainable reason making you kind of distracted and causing you to drop the purple panda once again, failing at the second attempt to win it.
You sent the boy a heavy glare. “And your name is...?”
“I’m Baekhyun.” He replied with a sweet smile.
You decided to ignore him, taking the already third coin out of your wallet and inserting it again.
“What are you about to get?” Came yet another soft question.
“The purple panda.” You replied briefly.
Baekhyun’s eyes left your figure for a transient while, to fall on the plushies inside the automat. “Well, guess what I would be about to get?” He said.
“On my nerves.” You murmured quietly, but loudly enough for him to hear.
You weren’t looking at him anymore so you obviously couldn’t have noticed it, but even when he received nothing but snarky replies from you, the boy was all smiles with little dazzles dancing in his brown eyes. “I actually hoped that I would get on your calendar.” He said, giving you a winsome smile as soon as you graced him with your attention again. “On a weekend when you’d be free... Or after school...” The cheekiness audible in his soft voice just seconds ago wasn’t as strong as it was anymore as he said these words.
In the result to his question, you scrunched your nose, looking up at him. “You don’t even know me. You’ve literally seen me one single time.” You said.
The moment you said that, you observed as the cheeky look fell back on his soft features. “Dante wrote forty two chapters of a whole opera for Beatrice after he saw her one time on the street, so I think I would be reasonably justified to ask you out like that.” He smiled at you in the most candy smile anyone could probably ever master.
What in the world?
“You know Dante? Are you into literature?” You asked, a little flabbergasted and surprised, knowing that most of the boys your age weren’t particularly interested in the art of similar old literary works.
That was definitely new.
“I like art in general.” Baekhyun said.
“So, how do you feel about art?” You asked, genuinely curious.
Baekhyun’s eyes seemed to have a whole million of sparkles dancing in them as he replied. “Well, I think you are really cool to talk to.”
Wait-
“What the freak man.” Was the only thing which you managed to say after you connected the dots of what he was really referring to.
This boy surely was having the time of his life right now.
You brought your attention back to the plushies, trying to suppress a muffled quiet scream which threatened to leave your lips because, even at the third try, the purple panda was dropped back into the soft pile of other plushies as if totally mocking you and your efforts to win it.
You aggressively grabbed the ziplock of your wallet, practically snatching a new one hundred yen coin and slamming it into the automat, determined to win it this time.
In that moment, it was a serious matter of life and death for you, and being completely focused on that one thing before you, you were also still completely oblivious to your surroundings.
If only you knew how your small act of chagrin to the automat and throwing the coin inside in a total state of fury made Baekhyun’s heart melt even more for you, thoughts of how cute you were flowing through his mind.
“How many more times are you going to try this?” He asked.
“You know, I’m actually really good at this. Today just doesn’t seem to be my best day.” You replied, without giving him one look.
The claws clasped around the purple panda once again, lifting it up and sliding slowly to the direction of the hole, through which you really hoped it would finally fall out this time.
“I already own a whole room of plushies and dolls I won in the arcade, so this should be no sweat.” You added.
“Well that’s phat.” Baekhyun said, his voice always sounding like a smooth velvet which, for some reason was becoming always more difficult to ignore for you.
“I know.” You said. “But I’m totally buggin’ right now.”
You watched the purple panda hanging just above the destined hole, being completely sure that you would finally win. You threw a content look at Baekhyun next to you, resting your elbows on the automat. “It’s already falling, you see? I’m da bomb. All that and a bag of chips-” You interrupted mid sentence, when to your downright disbelief the panda was let loose into the hole, only to somehow bounce out of it right back into the pile of other plushies, leaving you at the fourth failed attempt of winning. “You sick piece of-” You said through your clenched teeth, clutching your wallet in your hand and trying to stay calm.
You threw a murderous look at the automat, then glanced back at the wallet held in your hand before opening it again and taking out the fifth coin, throwing it into the automat without thinking twice.
You quickly guided the claws to grab the purple panda, but then again, as if to totally make fun of you, it was let dropped back into the pile. “Son of a SCONE.” You said, very lightly hitting your small fist on the glass.
You were brought back to reality by the same velvet voice which was distracting you just moments ago. “Y/N.”
“What.”
“You haven’t given me an answer yet.” Baekhyun said softly. “Will you go on a date with me?”
“No.” You replied.
“You are being so mean today.”
“I’m mean everyday.” You added, standing up from the position you were in this whole time. “You have a really unusual way of approaching, you know?”
“Well, everyone has their own ways. And everyone has their own idea of perfection.” Baekhyun said, looking right into your eyes. “Mine just happens to be you.”
You shot him a tired look. “What the freak.” You said. “Listen, um-”
“Do you know what bees make?” He suddenly interrupted you with this random question.
Without even thinking too much, you simply replied. “Honey?”
You watched as his eyes lit up again. “Yes, dear?”
You were left there completely done with the world as it was and speechless, just standing before him and looking at his smiling, glowing face, visibly happy with his own lines.
Why wouldn’t he just give up?
You didn’t even know anymore what to say to him, seeing that apparently he had a comeback line ready for each and every of your attempts to shove him away.
“You are impossible.” You said.
You observed as Baekhyun’s eyes quickly wandered to the plushie automat and as he bit his lip, another idea visibly coming to his mind. “Will you please say yes if I win that purple panda for you?” He asked, his brown eyes full of glinting hope.
“I would like to see you try. If I couldn’t win this, you won’t be able to either.” You replied.
“If you’re so sure about it, then just agree?” He said, a little smile still visible on his lips.
You crossed your arms on your chest, him instantly mirroring your gesture. “Fine. And if you fail, you will stop asking me out.” You said. “Three attempts.” You held up three fingers.
“Fine.” He said, holding up a shining one hundred yen coin before putting it into the automat.
He ducked down in the spot in which you were previously, laying his left arm on the free surface and lazily resting his chin on it, his right hand managing the little controller on the automat, effortlessly.
In complete and utter terror, you watched as the purple panda bear successfully fell into the hole right away, soon swiftly falling out of the automat straight into Baekhyun’s hands.
You couldn’t help it but let out a gasp of shock.
“No.” You whispered shaking your head, not believing that he just got it at the first try, because how probable could it even be?
“Yes.” Baekhyun held up the purple panda, flashing you the brightest, happiest smile you have seen on him that day. “I told you, sometimes it does work at the first try.”
You just stood there, not able to say a word, still looking at him in a complete disbelief.
Again, how probable could it be?
“I, um-” You really tried to say a full normal sentence, but it seemed like even the language decided to sabotage you today.
Before Baekhyun said anything else, he gently placed the panda in your hands, in the result his fingers softly brushing yours, may it be on purpose or just accidentally. “Please just say yes?”
As much as you despised this whole thing, you were a girl of your word, and you made a deal.
Which you obviously lost, now that you were holding the purple panda bear in your hands.
Even so, looking at Baekhyun’s dazzling brown eyes, you still wanted to give him the benefit of doubt, even though you were perfectly aware that it was pointless at this stage.
You opened your mouth to say something, but he quickly interrupted you before you could say even one word. “You won’t regret it.” He added, a little faint plea visible in his eyes as they looked at you.
You felt one corner of your mouth slightly lifting in a half smile. “What if I will?” You asked, meeting his chocolate gaze.
“You won’t.” He quickly said. “Just give me a chance to win you over.”
He asked you for a chance, but deep down you started to feel that he already was winning you over with his impossible sweetness and persistence.
But that was something which he didn’t need to know right now, was it?
You held the panda plushie closer to yourself, burying your face in it for a brief moment to hide the bubblegum blush which was shamelessly spreading on your dewy cheeks totally against your own will.
“I like onigiri with umeboshi filling.” You said. “And dark mocha.”
A honey-dripping smile fell on Baekhyun’s lips as his chocolate eyes traveled across every feature on your face. “What an unusual pair.” He said, the smile never leaving his lips and eyes.
“If you want to date me, you need to be prepared for weird combos like that.” You said, facing away as you felt the blush becoming stronger, your entire cold barrier finally giving in into the charm of his smile.
“I’m thrilled to know more.” He grinned winsomely.
And who would think that when you left the game arcade, you would have gotten your plushie and a cute boy together with it?
Undisputedly not you.
But sometimes, sometimes the universe put things on your way, things which you would least expect to cherish the most.
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Author’s End Note: Thank you for reading! Remember to REBLOG if you liked it! Also, I tried to build in some classic ‘90s phrases into dialogues, so let me know if I did well or not!! 💖 Maybe it won’t be the end of the ‘90s AU. 💜
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botwstoriesandsuch · 3 years
Text
Sidequests are part of the story so it’s still my ballpark shut up it’s time for
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Read Part 1 here!
Part 2 || Part 3
If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!
Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1
- - - - - - - - - - 
Side quests, side quests, side quests. What are they? And what are they doing here, on an Age of Calamity rewrite? I must admit, game design is not an inherent forte of mine, and I like to think that my only “expertise” would be on writing and storytelling. So what the fuck is a fool like me doing here
Well my dear ladies, lads, and gentlefolk, if your memory does serve, I did say that the format of Age of Calamity was one that served the major plot and story beats for it’s cutscenes, and its worldbuilding and good parts of it’s character development for its gameplay and side quests. It’s actually a concept that can be seen in shows and movies too, although obviously it’s origins are in TTRPGs and videogames. Definition wise, a side quest is any deviation from the main story and plot that serves to flesh out an optional/overseen aspect of the game. So there’s out perfect outlet for worldbuilding, characters, and even a bit of humour. Side quests, by definition, can’t simply be just XP grinders, because otherwise you could…..just make an XP grinder. It’s like saying you’re getting your kids a bike, but then you get them a stationary exercise one. Sure it’s functionally the same and gives the same benefits, but it could be so much more. 
Does Age of Calamity have good side quests? I’d actually argue, yes. I mean sure, it’s not exactly gonna hold a candle to Fallout or Witcher 3, but there are great memorable side quests that do serve their purposes in this game. 
A fan favourite is “The So-Called Knight,” in which Link spars Mipha, Teba, Sidon, and Revali, a conflict of the Sidon’s confidence and belief in Link, with Revali’s skepticism and grudge against him. Not only is it great fandom content, but it explores the carrying POVs of several characters in a fun way. We also have Hestu’s Dance Competition, and the Miss Vai Battle Pageant. What they lack in serious character tone, they make up for in humour and world building. Even the quests that have nothing to do with the main cast of characters, like the Questionable Escort Mission, still provide funny and interesting details about the world, like how the Yiga Clan is still ever persistent in trying to take down Link with monsters and Windcleavers alike. 
It’s not like those side quests were functionally useless either, all of them still provided great amounts of exp and materials. What specifically made them great and memorable was their small little stories and character/world details. Of course, that’s not to say you can’t have the occasional plotless boss rush every now and again, those are fun in their own right and it’s good to have variety. But just thinking about it...what were everyone’s least favourite sidequests? The timed Yiga Escape?  The ones where you sit around defending strongholds? The one hit death Hair-Width Trials? Ah...so all the least enjoyable side quests were the ones that were difficult, with no enjoyable character or worldbuilding to back it up….interesting interesting….interesting pattern indeed. 
So, let’s improve the game a bit further. I do need to pace out my future character arcs somehow. I tried to make use of the existing quests where I could, but it’s just eaaaasier to just not think about it and do it from scratch. Just shove these in place of all those quests whose only description is “monsters have been spotted here! Take Mipha and go to work!” and stuff like that. Alrighty then! Here’s my take on cool side quests for every single character thus far, along with their paired gambit attacks. Prepare for heists! Drama! Simping! And Bananas!
Link: Mastering Stasis
Ok I have no idea when this quest unlocks so just for my purposes assume this only becomes available after Link pulls the Master Sword. 
Engage the hordes of monsters that have been spotted in Hyrule Field. Now is a great time to master the use of the Stasis Rune. Impa and Zelda accompany you, but it seems stasised monsters aren’t the only thing coming to a tense standstill…
This isn’t anything that special, I just want to further highlight this tension that Zelda and Link have, as it’s something touched upon in Botw, but never really mentioned or used ever in Hwaoc. Now more than ever, Zelda has an excuse to have a rocky relationship with him because she could actively see just how far he’s coming in such a short amount of time. Classic “he probably hates me so I guess I’ll hate him” thing.
You play as Link, the game gives you your little prompts on how to use Stasis, you take out a few hordes of Bokoblins and blah blah blah. I wanted to use an earlier level to establish Zelda’s relationship sooner as obviously it’s gonna be important to the story. But of course like all side quests it won’t kill you to skip out. Text dialogue can be Zelda saying science shit like “This will be a good opportunity to test out the full limits of the Stasis rune” and then Impa’s all “Yep! We got your back, Princess! We’ll clear out these monsters in no time.”Then Link the little angsty shit that he is says nothing, and as you play you clear out more and more bokoblins Zelda just says “...” and then we can toss in a Moblin or two in there for gambit voice stuff.  
Gambit dialogue with Impa would be supportive, her usual spunky dialogue. I had two ideas for Gambit attacks with Link: One where Impa does that thing where she cuts a giant laser through the air, but it’s aimed towards Link and he parries it right in a monster’s FACE because I think it’s badass and also a good way to show trust and stuff. The second thing was Impa’s giant bomb barrels, but Link is the one to somehow ignite them, because he is an arsonist after all. He can even have a chaotic Sheikah blue glint in his eyes like blue flame, I can already picture it so clearly given how anime/dramatic Impa’s movements are. Impa sets bombs, Link *teleports behind Moblin* nothin personal, kid. 
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Also right at the end of their gambit attacks, Impa and Link should try to fist bump or something (cause the whole “cool guys don’t look at explosions” thing that Impa usually does on her own) but are interrupted by eggbot jumping up to try and join in. And then Impa can be annoyed and try to punt it or something. That’s not just self-indulgent that’s in her character she totally would and I want to make use of the fact that eggbot travels around with Link. The success of her attempts to punt him can vary.
If Link does a gambit with Zelda, her dialogue can just be her usual monotone Princess stuff, “Thanks for lending your strength,” or “There is still much more to do!” just purely professional, we’re not at a stage yet where she’s buddy buddy with Link. Their gambit attacks can still be cool though. One idea I had was Zelda using stasis, and you know how when you use it in botw everything lights up with that sonar effect? So Link stands besides Zelda, and she activates stasis, the first “sonar” light wave reveals the stasised monster, and you see it from the view of the Sheikah Slate. Then with each additional flash of sonar you just see this silhouette of Link going absolute ham on a monster. And then when the stasis “ding ding ding ding ding” is done, everything’s just dead. Can you see my inspiration from Persona 5 yet? Second idea was Zelda using cryonis and makes an ice ramp for Link to shield surf on and ram into a monster. For entertainment purposes Zelda should also be putting frogs on said slide. (Also also the reason I’m putting Link as the main focus for those gambit attacks is because I want to juxtapose it with future gambits where Zelda may or may not be more powerful…)
Anyhow anyhow, so this side quest, you beat some bokoblins, theres a moblin or two. However as you progress Zelda’s dialogue because a bit more passive aggressive, maybe Zelda can be a bit irritated at how quickly Link is defeating everything before she can even contribute. Impa can comment on this like “She hasn’t exactly been warming up to you, has she…” and then the last point of the side quest, Zelda runs off, there’s a...let’s say a big horde of blue or black Moblins. Or a horde of Wizzrobes, I’m not too picky on it. Link can save her and do a gambit or whatever, but the point of importance is that Zelda leaves with the clear mindset off, “You don’t need to keep coddling me, I can handle my own” to Link, but is “Thank you, I’m glad you’re here,” to Impa. 
Now I stole was inspired to use this based on this comic by @novellanova, and you should check it out here. But basically, at the end when all the monsters are dead and the last few text boxes are rolling, Impa says something like “Gee, at this rate I might have to protect you from the princess! Hmm…. you know, maybe if you two had the opportunity to hang out more and get to know each other, she’d warm up to you! Ha! That’s it! I’ve made up my mind. Listen up Link, from now on I’m gonna let you man the wheel when it comes to protecting Zelda. So with me out of the picture you better take the opportunity to be the nicest, most helpful, and most effective body guard there is. I know you already are, but still, if I hear that one little Chuchu so much as splat in her direction I will take you down...got it?” And, that’s that.
Side quest done. Fun Link gambits with Impa and Zelda, some little character POVs on the situation, plus an explanation as to why Impa doesn’t accompany Zelda everywhere/nods to the cutscenes of Botw as to what happened to Impa. Alright, that was probably the most boring one so let’s move on to
Daruk: A Rumbling Stomach
Alright I’ll be honest...I have no idea what to do with Daruk. Especially when Yunobo’s not here, I got zip-zero to work with considering his character is non-existent. Further down the line I’ll certainly try to give him more nuances and the like, but I’m afraid the majority of my character efforts have been towards Astor, Revali, Zelda, and [REDACTED] so this is my apology ahead of time, rock fuckers.
This is my take on how to make those timed quests more fun. So basically, the premise of this stage is that Daruk was just happily hanging around trying to enjoy his rock roast, when a monster surprised him and he dropped it, and now it’s rolling down the hill. This is based on my real Breath of the Wild experience where I had to trek up that Volcano path to bring a rock roast for that shrine quest, but at the very top I dropped it and had to chase it down before it fell into the lava below. 
Daruk is eager to chow down on the finest rock roasts this year has to offer! It’s too bad things go downhill when monsters start to ambush. Defeat key enemies and rescue Daruk’s tumbling meal before this year’s wait goes to waste!
So, that’s what this is. The stage opens and Daruk says “NOOooOO! My rock roast! Damn monsters!” and you have to defeat baddies and catch up to the rock roast before the timer runs out and it falls into lava. And then when you finish and get back the rock roast that’s pretty much it….except SIKE no it’s not. Because a lot of these timed quests usually have a “surprise! There’s more!” thing at the end so I’ll do that here too. So Daruk has saved his rock roast and he’s talking about how he’s going to enjoy it in all its deliciousness, when he’s cut off by a random Goron’s scream. Turns out, Daruk’s yelling at the monsters about desperation to retrieve his lost lunch has attracted monsters to some traveling civilians, and now you gotta go beat a Talus, or a couple of Moblins, or something...Again I don’t really have level set or idea when these side quests unlock so just use your imagination. Once Daruk defeats the monster(s) the Gorons can thank him, and then one of the Goron kids can be like “Ooo! Is that a super special rock roast?!?” And Daruk is all:  “Ah! Well all the best Goron heroes eat plenty of rocks! This here is the gourmet stuff. You can only get it once a—” And the kid’s like “Woah! I’ve always wanted to have one, that’s why I’ve been training hard so I can explore more of the mountain. Where’d you get it??” And Daruk can sputter a bit, before finally sighing and giving into his instincts. “Ah….well, why don’t you have it? You’re probably really hungry after running around with those monsters…”
“Woah really?? Are you sure—”
“YEAH JUST TAKE IT ALREADY GO”
“Woah, thank you!” and then the Goron kid and co run off. Cue Daruk crying to himself in the background. Daruk may have an appetite, but I like to characterize him as the Goron Hero first and foremost.  
I’m sure that doesn’t stop him from mourning his rock though.
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Mipha: Stronger Sentiments
Mipha and Daruk talked a whole bunch about training together so that Mipha can grow stronger, and Daruk was catching on to her crush on Link and it was a nice interaction in between them except for the fact that we never see them do the damn training so that’s what this is.
I think this is as good an opportunity as any to make this a Hair-Width quest, the ones where you can’t take one hit. The difficulty of a level is one of the most effective ways to put the players in the boots of a character to experience the same struggles they do. If the player works hard, then they automatically associate that with the character working hard. So, yeah, let’s have Mipha kicking ass and working to be strong enough to protect Link.
Mipha is determined to grow stronger. Daruk and the other Gorons are helping out with an intense training session by Gut Check Rock. Prove yourself by defeating all the enemies you encounter!
So Mipha is sparring with the Gorons, you fight through them and the captains and blah blah, the final boss is fighting Daruk without getting hit. 
“I promise not to hurt you more than I’m capable of reversing.”
“Ha! Give me all you’ve got, princess!”
You fight, cue the special music or whatever. I mentioned that gambit dialogue/attacks could also work to be custom for the character that you’re fighting, so I’m thinking something like this. Daruk slams the ground and rocks and magma sprout up around him like jagged pieces of glass, but Mipha is no where to be seen. Daruk’s kinda huffing and puffing, “Where’d you go Mipha…” and then FWOOSH, giant geyser right behind him. [yes I KNOW I overuse the *teleports behind you* “nothing personal, kid” thing but I think it’s COOL and you can’t stop me] So anyhow, you know that thing in Avatar where Pakku is just riding at the top of a whirlpool and destroying everything? That’s Mipha.
Daruk turns around and scratches the back of his head. “...huh….that’s not good.” Cue Mipha swooping down to deal the defeating blow. 
So Mipha wins, she can mention how wonderful it was and how much stronger she feels. And she can thank Daruk, and he’s all “No problem!” but he mutters something like “And I thought Gorons hit hard...now I know how Link feels.” End side quest….SIKE it’s another surprise boss at the end. A Goron captain suddenly reports that an Igneo Talus has appeared nearby. 
Mipha goes up to fight it, but wow! Link is already there. They both fight it, but it’s clear that Link didn’t need her help that much. You can defeat the Talus with a Mipha/Link gambit. It’s similar to Link’s usual “swing sword in a giant circle and become a death windmill” but Mipha kinda enhances it with water or something and it puts out the Talus. I wanted this ending with a focus on how strong Link is just to show that while Mipha is improving, she’s still not yet where she needs to be. 
Daruk: “Sorry I wasn’t much help at the end there, I was busy, uh, stretching.”
Mipha: “Oh it’s quite alright, Daruk. We were both quite tired from today’s training.”
Daruk: “Well I dunno about that...seems to me you were quite lively and active as you fought beside Link. *wink*”
Mipha: “Huh!?!? W-What is that supposed to mean??”
Cue laughter from Daruk. Mipha is flustered. And Link is just...confused, as always. 
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Urbosa: Mighty Thunder of the Gerudo
So in the game this is just some normal outpost capturing, stronghold defending side quest, but we’re gonna spice it up just a bit. 
An important excavation site is being overrun by monsters, and Urbosa has set out to engage them. Defend and capture the outposts, in order to prevent this valuable place from falling into enemy hands…
So you fight as Urbosa, defeat some enemies and blah blah. When you first arrive there, I want one of the Gerudo Captains to be like “Lady Urbosa? Where did you come—What are you doing here? Aren’t there areas of greater importance for you to be at right now?” Urbosa says something like “Nevermind that now, let us focus on achieving victory over these rotten beasts.” 
As the battle goes through, it is revealed that this excavation site is where Zelda’s mother would often work and hang out with Urbosa. Urbosa says some stuff like “Her Majesty would not be happy to see all these monsters heading here!” *decapitates Moblin* and then she can say other dramatic stuff at the end like “We have fought well...for her memory” and other classic lesbian pining. Some guard at the end can say “Perhaps you should move on and help out somewhere else, Lady Urbosa. We can handle the clean up from here.” 
“Sure,” Urbosa replies, “Just another moment.” And then cue reminiscing. “She always did love these machines…”
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And just other sentimental stuff like that. If you’re gonna be a coward and hold out on the Champion death angst, then you best be pumping that angst and emotion from somewhere, you know?
Also yay for worldbuilding! At least in my rewrite, the Guardian excavations and stuff were overseen by the Queen. Could be a reason Zelda hangs out with Sheikah tech so much...who knows who knows... who knows what other implications this has, it’s just a side quest after all.
Revali: Anti-Ice Training [get it??? Cause in this one, Revali’s gonna break the ice with some other characters?? I’m funny I swear]
Ok so for this one, I want to pull Revali’s character away from just “the birb that doesn’t like Link” and give him some other stuff to stand on. Obviously, there would be other side quests in a fully fleshed out game that did even more to characterize him, but for my rewrite I’m only dedicated this post and one other future post to sidequests, so I gotta really bring out what I can for the few side quest stories I have time to tell
Revali sets out alone to deal with some monsters by the Hebra trail. Although intended as an isolated moment to hone his skills, he finds himself with unexpected company. Defeat key enemies.
So you play as Revali and at first you’re alone, taking out Ice Lizalfos and the like. Revali’s text dialogue can say stuff like “Hmm...not fast enough” “My current needs to be stronger” “*mutters* Can’t compete with lightning and magma with aim like that.” Just stuff that establishes that he’s working hard to really prove himself as the best, but is still a bit insecure about his position. He thinks he’s better than Link, sure, and he certainly thinks that being a princess or a chief doesn’t automatically make you the best. However by this point, Revali has battled alongside the other Champions and seen their skill in battle, and has developed some respect for them. Afterall, Champions were chosen in some part for their skills, unlike Link or Zelda who destiny just thrust greatness upon. 
So Revali has this slight insecurity that compared to lightning, and magic healing, and magma, with chiefs and princesses and titles of heroes, he and his efforts will be overshadowed and forgotten, unfairly deemed the useless one. Thus, here he is, training in solitude, not wanting anyone to see the imperfections and mistakes until he is absolutely perfect.
Except for the fact that after you beat a Wizzrobe, the other three Champions show up. 
Revali: Wh—Huh?? What are you all doing here?
Urbosa: Well, we all have to travel with the princess to that Tower in a few hours, so I recommended we find you and hang out until then
Mipha: And a good thing too! Look how many monsters there are
Revali: I’m actually doing very well on my own right now. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or something, so why don’t you head on back and let me handle this.
Daruk: Aw, it’s not that we think you can’t do this. It’s that you’re hogging all the fun! Urbosa: And that it would be more efficient if all of us went to work
Daruk: That too
Revali: Look it’s not—you all can’t just—this is not just about—AUGH, look, I’m just trying to train myself at the moment, and I don’t need you all to mess with my drills
Urbosa: Training, hm? Well how about this...you let us continue helping you with these monsters, and after, I’ll let you in on a good Gerudo training technique
Revali: Hmph. Fine, whatever gets you out of my tail feathers faster
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So Revali and the Champions clear out the monsters. Revali can have gambit attacks/dialogue with each of the other Champions. This is already incredibly long so perhaps I’ll save specifics for another time, feel free to use your imagination. Urbosa teasing Revali and they make a thunderstorm, Mipha and Revali swimming in the sky and kissing—wait that’s— 
When all the monsters are cleared, which honestly isn’t tooooo many, Revali speaks again.
Revali: So what’s this oh-so-holy technique you had in mind, then?
Urbosa: Ah yes, well really it’s quite simple. It’s called…
Urbosa: One-on-one combat
Now Revali fights Urbosa. It think it’d be really fun if your allies on a stage could swap to a boss, and I wish hwaoc had a bit more freedom with the interactions as a whole, but ah well, that’s what I’m here for I guess.
So when you/Revali defeat her, it’s a good accomplishment! Not only for you the player, as Urbosa would not be the easiest to beat, but also because match-up wise, Revali prevailing over Urbosa is a big feat as their styles are quite opposite, arguably with the strength in favour for Urbosa.
Revali might at first have the mindset that Urbosa is overconfident and thinks she’s got an easy win on Revali, but that mindset is quickly proven wrong when 1) the difficulty of the gameplay itself shows how they’re both doing their best and 2) Urbosa with her Gerudo qualities is probably shouting stuff like “give it your all!” and things.
And so, as you beat her...
Revali, kinda huffing and puffing, but just a bit:: ...you….held back
Urbosa: Come now, do you really think of me as someone who’d do that? I’m almost insulted.  
Revali: Hmm...perhaps not then....
Mipha: Wow! What a wonderful fight from both of you. 
And then insert some other dialogue from Daruk or something that shows the Champions acknowledging the training and hard work Revali must have put in to be so skilled. Perhaps it’s not so bad, when you train with others and your skill is fully appreciated by your frie—GAH. Perish the thought, they’re all just a bunch of royal fools who can’t hold a candle to the skill of a Rito Master….probably…
Revali: Well unlike you lax fools, I tend to take my job seriously. I don’t have time to longue and banter when the princess is still expecting me in an hour or two
Urbosa: Oh alright, let’s get to it then. What’s the expression? “The early bird gets the w—”
Revali: Gross. No. Don’t finish that sentence, I beg you. 
Urbosa: Oh? Well why don’t you fly off to escape my dreadful tones then?
Revali: ...Heh, don’t be absurd…
Revali: Without me, you’ll all probably get lost. So, I suppose I should stick around for that sake Great Fairies: Dress to Oppress 
The Great Fairies are holding a fashion competition and rating people’s outfits. Poorly judged outfits gives them the right to compensation combat. Defeat all your less than fashionable allies.
...
...yeah.
It seemed funny in my head, alright? cOme on, just imagine…
Revali, fully expecting to win: Well?
Great Fairies: Hm...I don’t know dear, all the colors are very clustered. Perhaps if you were taller—?
Revali: bWHAKT!? *other angry bird noises*
- - - 
Daruk: I brought my BEST out today! :D
Great Fairies: Is that a….chain?
Daruk: TWO chains, actually. :D
Great Fairies: Oh honey…
- - - 
Great Fairies: Ooo! Our little hero is about to come out! Wonder what he chose...a knight in shining armour? A handsome desert voe? Ooo!! And those Snowquill braids always made him look so cute…
Link: *comes out in the Tingle Outfit*
Great Fairies: …
Great Fairies: …………..hm…..
At the end of the side quest, after you beat everyone, the Great Fairy wins because of course they do. 
Great Fairies: Oh my! What an unexpected outcome...but it really couldn’t have gone any other way. I declare the judges the winner! I mean just look at me, I’m as dazzling as a jeweled desert flower, because I am! Ohohohoho…
This side quests unlocks the Tingle Outfit
Hestu: Forest Dance Festival
Alright this quest was already pretty perfect, BUT, I just want to use this opportunity to say that all of Hestu’s gambit attacks makes his allies and enemies do special dances. Absolutely abSURD that Hestu can only make the lesser smaller enemies dance on occasion, nonononono, my guy Hestu is making everyone dance. You can’t stop this. Nothing I say will ever top the imagination, so just take my word that this is a good thing. [Reluctant Revali doing the macarena against his will in sync with Hestu and they bash someone’s head in...ah the possibilities.] 
Maz Koshia: Links to the Past
Ok so before I get into this, a few things. This quest takes place well after the tower activations in Akkala. Age of Calamity leaves a whole lot of plots holes as to why a Monk is just...here, and what the point of the shrines are, and personally my first reaction to all this was just a five minute extended “huuhhhhhh???” 
So here is my headcanon, explanation, thing, canon to the world of the Kip Cut story. Ones all the Sheikah Towers were activated, that officially woke up all the Shrines, because we know that the Towers and Shrines are all connected to the same system. [See Great Plateau Tower activating all the Shrines and Towers, and Creating a Champion explanation on the system] But when all the monks were in their little altars and noticed how Link hadn’t dont a single one, they were like “what the fuck.” Monk Maz Koshia, who is kinda the head honcho of the monks and probably the only one powerful enough to go out in the world anyhow, sets out to see what the deal is, and after many a teleportation and telepathic communication, he figures out that Link is just running around with the Master Sword already. This kinda confuses him, because the whole point of the Shrines was to test Link and give him the spirit orbs so that he could grow strong enough to get the Master Sword, but he somehow already has it...so hmmmm something fishy is going on in this timeline. So Link technically hasn’t proven himself at all, Maz Koshia ambushes him, they do their little combat trial, Link passes, and Maz Koshia’s like “ok cool so you’re not useless.”
So now Monk Maz Koshia has cast aside his old monk duties of waiting around for a couple hundred years, in favour of just hanging out with Link and continuing to train him combat wise. Shrines are still explored by Zelda and co because they are important areas to establish teleportation pads, and whenever they’re there, Maz Koshia forces Link to get in a shrine to get a spirit orb, which is not only useful in general for health, but since Link already has the Master Sword, the other characters can get the spirit orb too. (So all those little heart upgrades that you see on the map, those are all just in the real Botw Shrine locations, rather than just scattered around randomly. Also I’m ignoring the stuff about talking to Hylia in order to exchange for stamina or heart containers because the game never talks about her, or stamina, and I’m not about to create an entirely new custom gameplay feature for this game, fuck you.)
I like to think that Maz Koshia is very selective about the Shrines he encourages people to try out. “Oh nonono, don’t bother with Qukah’s….lazy ass, only set up one little mountain that you have to blast through with lightning and that’s the entire puzzle! Disgraceful...Here, Kaam Ya’tak has set up a wonderful Trial of Power for you. I’m sure you’ll find the level design quite thrilling. They spent a lot of time on the critical thinking aspects so have fun!”
“I should warn you that this one was made by one of the millennials...yes, those youngins who were only initiated 1000 years of age. Honestly, they lack so much experience. Ms. Agana over here was experimenting with something called ‘motion controls?’ Pretty lazy if you ask me. Traditionally I would just stick to combat and block and switch stuff...but ah well, variety I suppose.”
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Right, what was I talking about? Oh right! This is a sidequest. So Monk Maz Koshia doesn’t really have...a character??? Or a personality??? So I don’t really know what to do with him other than use him as an outlet for world building. Apologies to the Monk….fuckers? Stans? Feel free to leave me a comment about how I missed all the nuances of his character or something I’m all ears.
On an expedition to mark more Shrines and establish more teleports for the Kingdom, a large horde of monsters is spotted, seemingly with the intention to destroy these Ancient relics. Link and Maz Koshia use this opportunity to sharpen their combat skills. Protect the stronghold and defeat key enemies.
And then that quest would just kinda echo the stuff I said earlier about the world. (As Maz Koshia defends a Shrine, somewhere Qukah Nata is smugly shouting “Bet you wish ALL of them were protected with a giant mountain now, do ya?)
Also Link and Maz Koshia’s gambit attack involves the Master Cycle. I don’t have the specifics, but damn if I want some call backs to Botw while also having fun.
Impa: Steal Yourself [Yiga Clan Escape]
In an act of pure hatred and malice, the Yiga Clan has snuck into Kakariko Village in the dead of night…and stolen all the Swift Carrots! Impa sets out to get them back, as well as taking something else as a form of swift revenge...Escape before the time runs out.
Ok I can explain.
So you know how the Yiga and the Sheikah have kiiiiinda been murdering each other a bunch in Botw, going as far as to kill a deserter’s wife and threatening to murder his kids, and also people on both sides were sorta massacred for no reason? And alsoooo one of those people who literally lived during that time of the massacre is just kinda floating around now?  And you knooooooooww how the Yiga Clan just kinda joins Zelda’s side later on and we’re not supposed to think about the implications of that too hard because they’re the funny banana ninjas, haha? Yeah well neither Age of Calamity or I really have time to explore the moral grey areas of an alliance between two warring factions, one of which has a leader who doesn’t really seem to remember the reason why they hate Hyrule which brings into question whether the lackeys even know their clan’s history, and brings about the moral dilemma of criminalizing the ignorant, and also there’s the whole other dilemma of depicting the side that submitted to their oppression as being “in the right” and the topic of a race of people being pitted against their own by a higher power is really brushed over sO WE’RE JUST GONNA TOSS ALL THAT OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THEM ACT LIKE RIVALLING HIGH SCHOOLS, OKAY? OKAY! This is fine this is fine— 
So I have dubbed the High School mascot of the Sheikah, the Swift Carrot. And although there does seem to be some internal debate about whether the carrot should be replaced by the Fortified Pumpkin, the hero of Hyrule Link favours carrots so that’s that. Then of course, the mascot for the Yiga Clan is the Mighty Banana. The two sides hate each other and steal their food symbols to be petty. I’ll be covering the side quests of Kohga and the other later characters in another later post, but just know that Kohga will have his banana heist sidequest too. 
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So anyhow, you play as Impa. Maybe she can say a piece of dialogue or two about how she has to uphold the image of her people as she has to lead them one day. And then, this side quest is just her retrieving the carrots and running off with the Yiga’s big banana supply before she’s caught. This is based on that “Escape the Yiga Clan” quest if you couldn’t tell.
Custom gambit defeat of Impa vs Kohga: On one hand I think it would be badass to see Impa’s Sheikah skills go up against the Yiga Clan tactics. Kohga summons a giant metal ball to throw, Impa teleports behind him “nothing personal, kid” nO fuck I’m doing it again away goes to swing a blade at his face. He blocks it with his little energy shield thing, but not before an entire conga line of Impa clones start slashing at him until he’s defeated by a giant explosion. So yeah, that’d be badass and cool. But on the other hand…
Kohga, stomping his feet and having a fit: I cARROT believe you would do something this terrible! Give us back those bananas right now! D: ….please? You can keep the gross orange sticks.
Sooga: He asked nicely. You wouldn’t deny the wishes of the most polite and charming Yiga Chief there is, would you?
Impa: No can do, Yiga scum! I’m afraid this cruel action wasn’t veggie nice of you so I must exact justice! Now it’s my time to split. *Impa clones gather and throw Kohga into a giant frog’s mouth. Impa runs off with a sack of fruit [fruit (derogatory) if you will] cackling into the horizon*
Zelda: The Path She Laid For You
The King has order Zelda to head to the Temple of Time, in order to see if anything there could help awaken her powers. Zelda sets off quietly, with minimal company, as not to attract too much attention lest the Town’s folk be hit with another attack. It seems, however, that these precautions won’t be enough...Defeat key enemies
So this is a pure Zelda sidequest, with no other characters except for eggbot because I said so. Starts out normal when SURPRISE! Bunch of monsters appear and Zelda has to whip out her iphone and fight them. 
Also!! Good time for the Hollows to show up, and you know, tell her what a failure she is and all that. Convince her that she's useless and gonna doom everyone. All that good stuff!! It’s just nice to catch up with the villains and see how they’re doing, you know? ‘Sup Hollow Urbosa, last I saw you were barely spitting words in the Lost Woods, and now you’re giving full hard-hitting insults to Zelda’s character and ability? Good for you, Queen, good for you.
So Zelda and a handful of guards are fighting off monsters, and Zelda has to beat the Hollows too. Her gambit dialogue when she defeats Hollows can be stuff like “You’re not the real ___” or something idk, I don’t have a lot of experience with the evil clone trope, I’ve never played Ocarina of Time. But one specific I DO want to highlight is that Zelda uses the nearby Sheikah Tech to defeat the enemies. I find it a bit weird how Zelda just knows how to use those random water canons in the Faron region in later chapters, so we’re just gonna at least set up a pattern so that it makes a bit more sense later. Plus! This is in front of the Great Plateau, AKA Gate Post Town/Garrisons AKA oh lOOK it’s that area where Link and Impa and eggbot first meet in that Impa introduction scene of my rewrite so we have already established that Sheikah Technology is being stored here and ready to use! Continuity in world building! Nice.
So Zelda uses her knowledge of Sheikah Tech to defeat the Hollows, when...dun dun dun! Astor appears. But you don’t fight him...
Astor: Have you listened to one word spoken to you today? Why are you still resisting? Let me help you.
Zelda: And what exactly is your plan? You wish to kill me, then?
Astor: Not quite. I mean, if you do die, there are ways I can manage, so if some stray Yiga blade happens to strike you I’m not completely doomed.
Astor: But no, the most optimal outcome for everyone is the one where you live yet. You must see the truth as I do, and let me fix this. I can undo this terrible knot destiny has thread for you. [and insert other fate sisters and sewing metaphors here]
Zelda: But how? What’s your game here, if you’re truly claiming to be in everyone’s best interest then why all this secrecy?
Astor: Ah...ever the one to look for the facts and logic, hmm? Can’t blame you, you get it straight from your mother.
Zelda: …!
Astor: But...I’m afraid even if I did tell you now, you’re in no state to truly grasp it. No...the only way this works is for you to truly understand the position you're in, and the stakes that hang in the path before you. 
Astor: And if I have to kill every King, Champion, or knight to get you to understand…
Astor: Then so be it. 
[dun dun dun]
Zelda: No! I won’t let you hurt anyone, I swear it!
Eggbot [just pretend eggbot can have dialogue boxes too]: *chirps* 
Astor, suddenly noticing eggbot: ...You…you’re one thing I still don’t—
Eggbot chirps again beside Zelda, both seeming to be angry at Astor’s words. Eggbot releases a glowing flash of light. Kinda like a...flash bang? [is that the right word idk]
Astor: Ah—! *and he teleports away to escape* Astor: Until next time then...Princess
And that’s pretty much the sidequest. Zelda can question what exactly eggbot did, but he’s not exactly the most verbal in responses. Finally it ends with Zelda going home, “He was still right though...I’m still sitting in failure, with not a hint of my powers awakening. All I have is some Sheikah tech, some exhausted shoulders….and well, you, I suppose, little one.”
“Come, it’d be a waste to continue forth in this condition. Let’s go back to the castle.”
Eggbot: *happy whistles and chirps*
= = = = = 
Tune in next time folks, as we dive back into the main event! Needless to say, Chapter 4 is where the shit starts to go down...
59 notes · View notes
the-east-art · 3 years
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Can I have a general overview of Zelda? As well as your personal top rated zelda games?
I had a huge response to this typed up and my laptop died. I shall try to recreate it. 
Important note - Zelda games were initially unconnected games that reused/played off of similar themes and ideas. They weren’t initially supposed to flow together in a certain order, so really they can be played in any order you want! The Zelda timeline and the overall lore and stuff is there if you want it, but isn’t mandatory. 
The whole post will be under the cut since it’ll get long fast
Common Characters: 
Link - the silent protagonist. He is the main character of the games and is usually a pretty blank slate. Coming from humble origins such as a blacksmiths apprentice he journeys to save the land, typically Hyrule. 
Zelda - the princess. Usually a minor supporting character or a damsel in distress her involvement changes from game to game, although typically the more recent the game the more involved she is. Occasionally she is accompanied by a nurse maid called Impa who watches over her. 
Ganon - the antagonist/villain. His exact history and background changes from game to game, the one most popular one for the fandom being the only male of the desert tribe called the gerudo. Sometimes he’s just a big old pig tho. 
Common races: (some games have unique races for the game, but these ones reoccur across several titles.)
The Hylians - the residents of Hyrule, Link and Zelda are Hylians. They have pointed ears ‘to hear the voice of the goddesses’ according to legend. A kingdom that actually pretty normal citizens. 
The Zora - fish people and to be honest some of the cooler designs in the Zelda series. They are usually associated with Nayru. An elegant race. Comes with a river counterpart that is usually isn’t very nice. 
The Gorons - Rock people that live in the mountains, usually at a volcano called Death Mountain. They all have masculine pronouns so that’s cool. Usually associated with Din. Very friendly. 
Kokiri - the small children of the forest that never age. Sometimes they appear as the koroks, little wooden guys that make wooden bell sounds when they move. Cute and secretive, they live in the Lost Woods. Associated with Farore.
The Gerudo - A desert tribe made up of exclusively women. Supposedly men are born to their tribe once every hundred years and becomes Ganondorf. Usually are wary of outsiders and often painted in a bad light (coughracismcough). Sometimes they are associated with their own Goddess of The Sand but other than that aren’t directly tied to the Hylian pantheon. 
The MacGuffins: 
Master Sword - Special sword that is like the only thing that can get rid of Ganon. A lot of the games revolve around finding it and restoring it’s power. 
The Triforce - a lot of games revolve around finding or protecting this in some way shape or form. Supposedly if you have all three pieces it will grant your hearts deepest wish. The three pieces are Courage (held by Link and crafted by the goddess Farore) Widsom (held by Zelda and crafted by the Godess Nayru) and Power (held by Ganon and crafted by the Godess Din). The three goddesses made the world and the triforce. There is also a fourth goddess called Hylia, but she’s really only relevant for like two games so far. She’s associated with the triforce, Zelda, and the master sword. 
(I’ve done my best to be brief but if you can any questions or anything feel free to ask and I can expand on anything!)
For someone first coming into the series Wind Waker (gamecube, Wiiu) is a good place to start. It explains and explores a lot of the lore and ideas of the story and has my favorite interpretation of Ganon. Ocarina of Time (N64, Gamecube, 3DS) is a fan favorite, although I just thought it was good, but it also has a lot of formative concepts that the series is based on. 
My personal faves are: 
Skyward Sword
The Oracle Games (lol they’re Gameboy color games)
Majoras Mask 
Breath of The Wild
(Twilight Princess also isn’t bad,and Wind Waker and Ocarina of time as I said are good. Spirit Tracks and Phantom Hourglass are good but they both have things that make them frustrating.) 
HOWEVER if you can’t buy games and consoles (like me when I was a wee lass) I highly recommend the manga adaptation by Akira Himekawa! As a kiddo I remember going to the library and checking out those little mangas and falling in love. None of them are a perfect one to one to any of the games, more an artistic interpretation, so even if you read them you can still play the games and get a fresh experience, but they’re a good way to get to experience the Zelda stories in my opinion. All enjoyment of Four Swords comes from the manga tbh which is far more interesting than the game. 
I hope this was helpful!
(Fun Fact - I have never played the A Link To The Past or Minish Cap, just read the mangas. I was only able to play games like Wind Waker and Ocarina of Time by borrowing them from a friend who I no longer am close to so I’ve only played either of those games once on the gamecube, probably why they can’t really be in my favorite list since I’ve never been able to revisit them). 
27 notes · View notes
onebizarrekai · 4 years
Text
Meme Waker: That Final Thing
okay aight here we go here’s the big idea compilation you’ve all been waiting for or something like that
since I’ve finally accepted meme waker’s inevitable fate, I’ll share what I’ve had laying around about it. prepare yourself for a wild ride.
first of all, what existed of the planned character key:
Nightmare = Link Dream = Aryll Cross = Tetra Ink = The Entire Pirate Crew Granny Gertrude = Grandma Horror = Quill Killer = Medli Color = Komali Dust = Makar XGaster = Tingle (yes, you read that right) Fresh = Fado (?) Geno = Laruto Blueberry = Niko Error = Ganondorf Giant Flying Chicken = Helmaroc King Core Frisk = The King XChara = Zelda
So XChara was going to fill the role of Zelda–basically, what was going to happen was that when Cross and Nightmare reached sunken Hyrule, which was replaced by the Omega Timeline, they encountered Core Frisk and with their magical Core Frisk powers that apparently exist, separated XChara from Cross’s body. Because Error was hunting him down for whatever villainous reasons (I dunno, maybe he wanted to find Overwrite or something), XChara was going to spend the near remainder of the comic hiding in the Omega Timeline from Error. It was a pretty neat reference to the fact that Error doesn’t know where the OT is.
Unsurprisingly, considering when I was working on this, Nightmare and Cross may have eventually started dating. They were going to kiss during a fight that involved them accidentally rolling down a hill and then likely spend the remainder of the comic referring to each other as boyfriends, with no further indication of romance between them. I never really mentally decided whether I was actually going to incorporate this or not.
In moments where someone needed to present a musical instrument, Cross was going to play a keytar.
There is a very high chance that the entire comic was going to end up being an elaborate prank set up by Ink and Error.
After being rescued from the Forsaken Fortress, Dream was going to get crossbows and… I dunno, maybe be useful with them sometimes. One consideration was that he was going to complain about being stuck in a glorified retirement home and request joining the party.
Nightmare was going to have a fake ID with the name “Nathaniel Meyer” on it.
When Nightmare eventually pulled up the Gaster Sword, he was basically going to do a magical girl transformation and get a new outfit. I was considering holding a contest where people would submit new designs for Nightmare before I realized that I may have wanted to do it myself. Meanwhile, Cross’s design change at the same time was going to pertain to the fact that he had such a hard time with his uniform that he just wanted to start wearing normal clothes.
When XChara was separated from Cross, it would indicate that Cross can’t use the hack knife anymore, so I had to think of a new weapon for him. I considered giving him arm mounts with knives in them for no reason other than being extra, but I was probably just going to end up going with a regular sword.
Nightmare and Cross were going to be mistaken for missionaries at some point due to Nightmare introducing Cross as his ‘companion’.
Nightmare’s fake ID is actually a driver’s license. Cross questions how he could get one when he’s only fifteen, and Nightmare responds with “what can I say? I live in the country.”
The Giant Flying Chicken was going to evolve into the Cyborg Giant Flying Chicken before Nightmare and Cross fought it. It was already a robot, but someone decided it would be fun to make it look more robotic for some reason. Maybe too many people tried to eat it.
Because Blueberry was going to replace Niko, that meant there was going to be a form of challenge that he would present to Nightmare and/or Cross. They were probably just going to play Dance Dance Revolution.
The dress that Granny Gertrude gave Nightmare was actually going to be infused with magical powers. Either Nightmare could only access the power of the Triforce when he’s wearing the dress, or it was going to be a piece of equipment that turned his sword into a fire sword.
Nightmare was going to come back to the Village of Old People to see that his grandmother had conquered it with capitalism.
Dragon Roost Cavern was going to be replaced with a Pokemon gym.
When Nightmare supposedly kicked Error’s ass at the end of the story, he was going to say something along the lines of “Because fuck you!” and it would be the first and only f-bomb in the whole comic. Nightmare would proceed to say that it was the first time he’d ever said fuck and that he felt dirty.
The Triforce of Courage was just going to be called the Triforce of Porridge for exactly zero reason.
Some incarnation of Buffmare was going to exist in the comic, but only in a sequence taking place in Nightmare’s imagination.
When Cross realized his backpack was missing, it was because I realized his backpack was missing. I forgot to draw it. I decided that the backpack actually fused with him to create a Zelda-style magic pocket.
Nightmare was going to try to control a seagull with the command melody, but he was accidentally going to start controlling Cross instead and make him run into a tree.
The Tree Spirit was going to hold official interviews for placeholder guardians in Dream and Nightmare’s absence. These placeholder guardians were going to be Neil, the overenthusiastic French furry, and Ccino, the local emo kid who is absolutely done with everyone’s bullshit, and exclusively because they were the only ones who applied for the job. Neil was going to have an ulterior motive of becoming Gaston’s successor.
Neil and Ccino were eventually going to ‘get together’, if you can even call it that, and for no other reason than shitpost reasons.
Nightmare may have had a showdown with the Giant Flying Chicken while riding the Great Charizard from Dragon Roost.
Another possible concept for whole story was that it was a bad self insert fic written by a younger version of Nightmare, but it’s really unlikely that I would’ve gone through with that.
Nightmare and Cross may have needed to go on a fetch quest to find Ink’s brush in the ocean because they accidentally lost it, but honestly that would’ve served nothing for the progression of the story. Because XGaster put a tracker on Ink’s brush, they were going to have to enlist his help.
and that about wraps up my notes, now let me throw what I had sitting around of a script draft–reading this was a trip because I forgot that literally 60% of it existed:
(inside the mountain)
Cross: holy shoe, EVERYONE has wings? how is this a thing??
Cross: I’m frickin jealous
Chief: Oh. You must be. Those guys.
Horror: yeah man, I enlisted their help to capture the Chicken Terror, but then they were all like yo, it’s a robot!

Chief: horror robot or not I told you that we weren’t going to capture the chicken terror for food because we’re not cannibals we don’t eat birds
Horror: but
Horror: we’re hardly even birds!
Chief: you know your job Horror. now get back to work. your actual work.
Horror: But… being the mailman sucks!

Chief: Do I need to confiscate your axe again?

Horror: OKAY FINE. I’M GOING. (flies away in a huff)
Chief: AND DO YOUR GODFORSAKEN LAUNDRY!
Chief: I apologize for that… so, how can I help you two today?

Nightmare: You guys have like, some pearl thing or something? We need to like, collect three of them in order to… save the multiverse… or something like that.
(Camera dramatically darkens.)
Chief: It’s just as the prophecy foretold…
Nightmare: oh god what
Chief: You see, young whippersnappers… legend tells of a great hero that would rise up and save a bunch of people in times of desperation that they don’t even realize are desperate. the great hero would travel far and wide in search of the Pearls of Shiny to finally retrieve a great weapon that he would use to strike down the evil that few knew existed. also the hero would have a sidekick wearing stupid clothes.
Cross: EXCUSE ME
Chief: THAT’S JUST WHAT THE PROPHECY SAID
Nightmare: okay, y’know, I’m just gonna roll with it. where can I get the pearl?
Chief: Well… that’s where the hard part comes in. You see, the pearl belongs to my son… but he’s been acting like an edgy teenager lately.
Nightmare: Great…
Cross: Is there a reason he’s being edgy? Maybe there’s something we can do to appease his hormones.
Cross: Free food works like a charm for me.
Chief: No, it’s more complicated than that. When one of our people becomes of age, they climb to the top of Charizard Island to receive a scale from the Great Charizard that will allow them to grow wings.
Nightmare: the… great charizard.
Chief: But lately, the Great Charizard has been throwing inexplicable temper tantrums. No one can get close to him anymore. And with my son being of age, he’s decently pissed off about this.
Chief: We’re thinking that the Great Charizard is displeased about something, and it is also causing our shortage of food.
Nightmare: Wait, you worship something named after a Pokemon?

Chief: Anyway, perhaps you two will be able to talk some sense into my son. Maybe he just wants to talk to someone his age that isn’t Horror or Killer.
Nightmare: What kind of names are those?

Chief: There’s a letter that I wanted my son to read, and I’ve given it to Killer to hold onto. You can go get it from him upstairs in the first room near the stairs, just tell him I sent you. He’s the little guy in the short shorts, you’ll probably recognize him when you see him.
Nightmare: Can’t you just call him here?

Chief: No, it is of upmost importance that you experience a basic fetch quest in order to become a great hero, because those fetch quests will become needlessly complicated before you even realize it.
Nightmare: ?????
Nightmare: I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not–
Cross: dude let’s just go get the letter
(scene transition)
(Killer dramatically turns around and it zooms in and says his name SSB style)
Nightmare: Wait, why do you get a dramatic introduction?

Killer: Dayum. New faces.
Nightmare: Why is everyone ignoring my questions??
Killer: (needlessly sensual voice) So, what brings you here? (walking closer)

Nightmare: (backs into wall) NO BUENO
Cross: You have a letter or something?

Killer: Oh. Yeah. Chief gave it to me for some reason. Yo, catch.
(He chucks it like a ninja star. Cross catches it between his hands in front of his face.)

Killer: Ey! You actually caught it!

Cross: I’m a trained ninja.
Killer: So like, who are you guys?
Cross: I’m Cross. He’s Larry.
Nightmare: NIGHTMARE. MY NAME IS NIGHTMARE.
Killer: Aw man, I know the feel of having a really lame name and wanting one that’s cooler.
Nightmare: No. Like. My name is actually Nightmare. My senile grandma called me Larry earlier today and this loser picked up on it.
Killer: There’s no need to lie. I understand.
Nightmare: I’M NOT LYING!
Killer: anyway make sure you get that letter to Color there’s something I have to do–
(Killer zips out the door behind them.)

Cross: what even the frick?

Nightmare: that guy freaks me the frick out.
Nightmare: literally. I felt like he was coming onto me.
Cross: you’re imagining things.
(SCENE TRANSITION)
 Cross: all right Nightmare I literally do not trust your ability to communicate with another person in a way that will make them feel inclined to give us something so just let me handle this okay
Cross: okay better yet wait outside the room
(Nightmare makes a less than amused face.)

Cross: it’s for the greater good
(Cross walks into the room.)
Cross: hi my name is Cross and
Color: LEAVE
(Cross immediately exits the room.)
Cross: this is a lost causeNightmare: what
Cross: go make him bleed with your words
Nightmare: dude isn’t this the part where we give him the frickin letter
Cross: (pauses) :o
Cross: OH RIGHT
(Cross takes the letter and goes back into the room, leaving the door open)
Cross: oh yeah this letter is for you it’s from your dad or something
Color: Oh, wow. Can’t even be bothered to talk to me in person.
Color: Give me that thing.
(Color stares at the letter. It’s actually a letter from Killer filled with really bad pickup lines and other really creepy compliments.)
Color: What the hell, you said this was from my dad!
Cross: We thought it was–??
(Killer teleports in behind them, scaring the shit out of Nightmare)

Killer: Suuuup~
Color: Killer I swear to god.
Killer: Here’s the actual letter, though you might not be happy with it.
(He flings it at Color and it lands in front of him. He reads it over, rolls his eyes and throws it in the trash.)
Cross: So uh… I don’t know what the letter says but apparently we’re prophesied heroes collecting a bunch of pearls to save the multiverse and the pearl you have is–

Color: Can everyone just get out of my room already?
(everyone just leaves)
Nightmare: What even was the point of that stupid fetch quest?
Killer: Oh yeah, can you guys help me with something? Just a smalllll favor. And I can’t ask anyone else because I’m not supposed to do it.
Killer: I need some strong, reliable people…
Nightmare: Don’t touch me.
Killer: It’s just a small favor! And I mean actually small, it’ll take like two minutes.
Nightmare: I have doubts about this.
Killer: Great! Meet me out back by the spring.
Nightmare: Wait which side is the back–
(Killer is gone)
Nightmare: Cross which side is the back.
Cross: I don’t know??
(after spending twenty minutes going through the various exits trying to figure out how to get there)
Killer: What the hell took you so long.
Nightmare: Directions would’ve been helpful. There wasn’t even a freaking map anywhere in there!
Killer: The hollow is like the size of a middle class house! How difficult could it be to find out where to go?!
Nightmare: IT’S A DOME THERE IS NO BACK
Cross: OKAY, what matters is that we’re here, what the heck do we do now.
Killer: Okay, okay. (steps backwards) Look, if you look around here, it’s all a dried up spring. The Great Charizard was throwing a tantrum, a boulder fell down and it coincidentally plugged up the spring for the third time this week, which is literally our main source of fresh water. I’m honestly getting sick of this so I’m going to climb the mountain and see what’s going on because everyone else is too scared to do it.
Nightmare: God. You’re not gonna make us go with you, are you?

Killer: Oh, no way. I just need you to throw me up that cliff over there so I can get into the cavern that leads up the mountain.
Nightmare: Can’t you fly?
Killer: Not thirty feet straight up. Do these noodle arms look like they can manage that?

Nightmare: Whatever. But quick question. How the hell does one throw a person.
Killer: I weigh like fifty pounds. It shouldn’t be that hard. Also, if you’ve noticed, the wind is rapidly changing directions, so you’ll probably have the best effect throwing me when the wind is blowing that way.
Nightmare: Mhmm. Sure. Let’s just get this over with.
(Nightmare crouches down and Killer fuckin walks onto his shoulders)
Nightmare: Hey! Watch it!
(some way or another he throws Killer and Killer barely makes it to the cliff, face planting into the ground)
Nightmare: Well I guess that worked.
Killer: THAT WAS TERRIBLE!
Nightmare: YOU’RE WELCOME! COULD’VE JUST USED A DAMN LADDER!
Killer: NOBODY OWNS A LADDER HERE BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN FLY!
Nightmare: Then how the frick do people get up this cliff?!
Killer: THERE’S NORMALLY A BRIDGE BUT IT BROKE AND PROBLEMS LIKE THESE ARE PRECISELY WHY I’M CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN TO BEGIN WITH! ALSO I’M LEAVING BYE. (turns and leaves)
(cricket cricket)
Cross: Nightmare we should probably follow him.
Nightmare: No.
Cross: What else do we have to do. We solve their problem, Color can get his wings and then he stops being emo and gives us the pearl out of the goodness of his heart.
Nightmare: I’m not risking my life for this! If that guy is willing to do it himself I’m going to let him do it!
Cross: Dude, look at that guy. He looks about at capable fixing whatever the problem is as Ink is at providing emotional support. If this happens to be anything like a video game, we’re the only ones capable of solving anything. Besides, what else are we supposed to do? Hang around and wait for something to happen?
Nightmare: All right, fine. But how are we supposed to do something? It’s not like we can climb up a thirty foot cliff.
Cross: No, but we can swim, right?Nightmare: What?
(Cross draws a line around the rock covering the spring. It dematerializes into red squares and water starts to spew out of the spring. They both run back towards the side and climb up the cliff they came from)
Nightmare: Dude, what the hell was that?
Cross: I can draw lines around things with my sword and they do that and go away.
Nightmare: … do they go somewhere?

Cross: I dunno.
(Meanwhile in Xtale, a boulder slams into the floor and almost crushes Fresh because of course he’s there)
(The spring fills up)

Nightmare: You know I’m starting to have second thoughts about this swimming thing seeing as how I’ve never actually–(Cross kicks him into the water)

(LATER)

Nightmare: YOU ASSHOLE I ALMOST DROWNED
Cross: You’re exaggerating.
Random Dude: STOP RIGHT THERE!

Nightmare: who.
Random Dude: YOU AREN’T GOIN ONE STEP PAST THIS POINT! YOU’RE LIGHT YEARS FROM FACING BROCK!
(nightmare squints)
(comic suddenly goes into a battle sequence)
Nightmare: whoa whoa what the hell is happening
Cross: oh my god it’s pokemon NIGHTMARE IT’S POKEMON
Nightmare: I DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON CROSS THREATEN HIM
(Random Dude sent out MEWTWO)
Cross: DEAR GOD
Cross: LISTEN THERE’S A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING WE’RE NOT TRAINERS WE DON’T HAVE POKEMON
Random Dude: tHEN WHY ARE YOU IN A POKEMON GYM HUH
Cross: Uh… touring?
Random Dude: OH
Random Dude: I SEE
(The Random Dude returns his Mewtwo.)
Random Dude: THERE HAS BEEN AN UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING
Cross: Say uh, you didn’t happen to see a scrawny dude with wings pass through here, did you?
Random Dude: Oh yeah, he went into the next room and took the elevator to the top.
(silence)

Nightmare: Why are there always elevators.
(two seconds later, they reach the elevator and there’s a dude standing in front of it)

Nightmare: um excuse me we need to use the elevator
Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do
Nightmare: excuse me I said move
Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do
Nightmare: HELLO
Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do
Nightmare: MOVE ASSHOLE
Cross: I think it’s a preprogrammed NPC.
Nightmare: UAGGGGHHHHH
(Nightmare throws himself into the person, but he slams into the STEEL WALL OF NPC)
Nightmare: CROSS TELEPORT HIM AWAY
Cross: wait are you serious what if that freakin kills him I don’t know where these things go
Nightmare: YOU SAID IT YOURSELF HE’S AN NPC
(Cross shrugs. He draws a line around the NPC and the NPC disappears)
(one elevator ride later)
Nightmare: (chokes) oh god
Nightmare: the altitude
Cross: nightmare this island is still lower than ink’s house.
Nightmare: PSYCHOLOGICAL ALTITUDE
(fwip)
Cross: Oh look, it’s that guy from earlier.
Nightmare: Got captured somehow. Why am I not surprised?
Killer: YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW YOU GUYS
(A really buff guy abruptly slams into the ground)
Buff Guy: FEAR MY WRATH, FOR I AM BROCK! LEADER OF ALL THINGS ROCK HARD
Nightmare: Look man, we really don’t have time for this, just let the shota hoe go, we’re just checking up on the huge-ass Charizard up there.
Killer: excuse me
Brock: I AM THE LOYAL GUARDIAN OF THE GREAT CHARIZARD! You can only pass if you defeat me!

Cross: what the hell is even happening anymore
(Loud gym battle music as the gate at the entrance of the clearing slams shut)
Nightmare: LOOK WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS WE DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON
(Brock war cries as he sends out a very anime geodude)
Nightmare: can someone please tell me I’m hallucinating all of this
Brock: WELL, IF YOU DON’T HAVE POKEMON, YOU’LL HAVE TO USE A RENTAL
Cross: What? But rental pokemon always suck.
Brock: YOU MUST PROVE YOUR WORTH SOMEHOW! AND BECAUSE YOU’RE SMALL CHILDREN YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN’T PROVE IT THROUGH SUMO WRESTLING.
Nightmare: I’m fifteen!
Cross: Nightmare I think you’re missing the point.
Killer: Good god, just let them through and let me out of here, they’re the heroes of prophecy.
Brock: PROPHECY
Brock: GOODNESS ME I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT
(Brock returns his geodude)
Brock: YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING
Nightmare: That would have worked?
Brock: BUT! IF YOU WANT TO FREE THIS TINY FELLOW HERE, YOU MUST COMPLETE A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE! FOR YOU SEE, HE TRIED TO PASS THROUGH HERE WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION!

(Killer rolls his eyes. Nightmare squints, literally pulling a notebook out of his shirt. He writes something in it, walking up to Brock and holding it up. It says “Let the guy out of jail you dick”)
Brock: AHA
Brock: WELL
Brock: I CAN’T ARGUE WITH THAT
(He stomps his foot on the ground and the bars in front of Killer go up)
Brock: DON’T BE CAUSING TROUBLE NOW KIDS

(He ascends back into the sky)

Cross: I’m not even going to ask. That entire conversation felt like a drug trip.
(Killer dramatically throws himself onto Nightmare)

Killer: I knew you would come around, my knight in–
Nightmare: Why did I assume that you had become any less creepy in the last ten minutes. Why did I even do that?

Killer: Because your heart told you to.
Nightmare: Dear god stop touching me or I will literally pick you up and slam you into the floor.
Killer: Feisty. Anyway, I figured out why the Great Charizard is freaking out all the time. His tail is hanging down into the room below him and something is chewing on it like all the time.
Cross: What? Then why doesn’t it just, I dunno, pull its freaking tail out of the room like a reasonable creature? Or maybe take care of the problem on its own?
Killer: The Great Charizard is like a five year-old. It’s self aware, but it expects all of its problems to be solved by everyone else and throws tantrums when that doesn’t happen.
Nightmare: Well that’s stupid. Why does everyone act like it’s some holy being then?
Killer: Because it’s a massive, terrifying dragon that can breathe fire?
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ok unfortunately this is where the script ends but I hope you enjoyed that
oh yeah, and some extremely old art that I found:
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as well as a brief consideration to make the characters human before deciding that I just didn’t want to work on the comic anymore.
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basically you will notice that most of this doesn’t have a solid outline, and you’d be right: I never actually planned it that meticulously. I mostly just winged it and threw stuff in over the course of time and never even really planned anything close to a definitive ending beyond “maybe it was a prank”. sorry if this is like… anticlimactic, but it’s all I could find!
119 notes · View notes
eggfucker-1 · 3 years
Text
Ai yah, I really have to respond to this post again, huh?
Well, for starters, I apologize for a mistake I made in my original post. In the OP, I insinuated that the Princess Zeldas we see in the series could have possibly had a role in the atrocities committed by the royal family. This is incorrect, and it was poor wording on my part. I should have clarified my intentions when writing that particular passage; however, I felt it was unimportant, given that the point wasn’t solely about Princess Zelda, but how the addition of the Goddess Hylia and the Demon King Demise not only invalidates Ganondorf’s character up to that point, but adds much greater weight to the terrible actions committed by the royal family, especially towards the Sheikah.
Given that tumblr user lorelylantana is the third person to make a reply by discussing the reincarnation cycle, rather than the actual point of my post, perhaps I should have proofread and double checked my post before sending it out into the world to cause problems on purpose.
With that said, after I read lorelylantana’s response, I felt it necessary to make a proper reply of my own. It’s going to be a rather lengthy reply, as I have many things to say and many images to post.
However, I’m going to do all that I can to avoid discussing fanon or fan theories. I don’t mind them, but adding fanon wasn’t the point of my original post, and it shouldn’t have been the focus of the responses I received. I want to stay as close to the canon Nintendo laid out as possible. Thusly, my sources will strictly be drawn from the games, game manuals, Creating a Champion, Hyrule Historia, and Hyrule Encyclopedia. Despite the latter two being dubiously canon, they were approved by Nintendo, so they’re worth mentioning.
So, without further delay, let us begin.
-       “The original post seems to be based on the idea that Zelda and the royal family of Hyrule are synonymous, which is questionable for reasons I’ll get into later.”
For all intents and purposes, yes. Zelda and the royal family are synonymous, as she is the face of the royal family in almost every Zelda game featuring her. Even if she isn’t the ruler of Hyrule in that particular moment, she is our figurehead for the monarchy, by all means.
-       “The games don’t hand wave the actions of Hyrule’s royal family, they just don’t go out of their way to hold a young girl personally responsible for the actions of kings […]”
While the actions of the royal family are briefly acknowledged, as is the case with the Shadow Temple and the Arbiter’s Grounds, the monarchy has never had to answer for their actions. Even in the case of the Sheikah’s massive exile 10,000 years ago, the royal family never answers for this, nor are they ever portrayed being in the wrong. In fact, the event in question is only mentioned by a single member of the Sheikah in Breath of the Wild, Cado.
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Image credit goes to YouTube user Macintyre.
The royal family’s actions are never directly described as “these were horrible things that happened.” Instead, it’s simply, “yeah, it happened.” There is no acknowledgement that the Yiga was created by the royal family’s own hands, nor is there any emphasis placed on the impact any of these acts have.
For example, the exile of the Sheikah wasn’t even the first instance of the royal family of Hyrule mass-exiling a group of people and displacing them from their original homes.
After the events of Ocarina of Time, Ganondorf is captured and executed for his crimes leading up to the events of the game and presumably the events of the Adult Timeline, given Young Link’s testimony. (I’ll get into why the King of Hyrule believes Link over Zelda later.) After Ganondorf was executed, the Gerudo were forced out of Gerudo Valley and banished from the Haunted Wasteland. Even during the events of Twilight Princess, the Gerudo Desert is completely abandoned. Once again, there is no discussion concerning the royal family’s actions, with the narrative instead being that the Gerudo, some of whom were actively against Ganondorf’s actions and many of whom were hypnotized during the events of OoT, are entirely at fault and have to atone for their sin of… having Ganondorf for a leader, I suppose.
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Source: Creating a Champion, p. 405
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Source: Hyrule Encyclopedia, p. 46
The royal family gets to punish an entire people for the actions of one man. Rather than the act being portrayed as negative or even discussed, it’s hardly even mentioned.
While I’m aware Encyclopedia’s canonicity is dubious at best, its material was still approved for publication by Nintendo. Thusly, I feel it worthy to discuss.
To summate, the royal family did bad things, and very select few acknowledge it.
Next point.
-       “I think that the Zelda/Hylia = good Ganon = bad situation serves a narrative purpose that justifies the black and white nature of the games because it highlights the shades of gray in between installments…”
The Legend of Zelda is almost thirty-five years old. This series should have long evolved beyond the black-and-white-morality narrative, especially when the side we’re supposed to sympathize with literally used the Sheikah to commit war crimes. You don’t have to have stark white and pitch black in order to see shades of gray.
-       “… And trying to assign Zelda a dark side is kind of missing the point, especially when no one seems to question Link’s morality even though he’s constantly stealing people’s stuff.”
Examples of Consequences to Link Stealing People’s Stuff
1.     In Twilight Princess, stealing from Trill will result in the bird branding you a thief and pecking you every time you come near him, which will only cease when you finally pay up.
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2.     In Link’s Awakening, stealing from the old man’s shop will result in instant death the next time you enter his shop. If you steal, your name is changed to THIEF for the rest of the game.
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Furthermore, Link is controlled by the player; thusly, his actions have no consequence to the story or Link’s character. Zelda, on the other hand, is an active participant in the story, whose actions and whose family’s actions weigh heavily on the games. That’s not to say Zelda is ever evil. However, as much as she is a victim of her own family’s history, she still has just as much power to change it.
-       “If the games wanted to gloss over the sins committed by the royal family[,] they wouldn’t have designed entire dungeons around them.”
I reiterate: the sins of the royal family were mentioned once, and then immediately dropped shortly thereafter. It’s not there for you to dwell upon, merely window dressing as if to say, “Yeah, that happened.”
-       “I believe The Legend of Zelda series is a critique of the Divine Right of Kings”
Until the events of Skyward Sword, the Hylian Royal Family wasn’t a divine lineage. A thirty-five-year-old series can’t be a critique of a concept that it barely even acknowledges. The only emphasis placed on the “goddess blood” part of the royal family is in Breath of the Wild, in relation to Zelda having to unlock her sealing powers. Despite the massive repercussions the revelation of the royal family’s lineage tying back to divinity should have, it’s barely even mentioned,let alone discussed.
As a side note, the divine right of kings specifically denotes that the monarch is chosen by God to rule. In contrast, the Hylian Royal Family continues to rule by, presumably, claiming lineage to the Goddess Hylia, which is closer to traditional practice in feudal Japan.
-       “If the Divine Right of Queens is indeed present, does that justify a hereditary monarchy? As far as the Legend of Zelda is concerned[,] the answer is no.”
The Legend of Zelda series never questions the validity of the royal family’s rule.
-       “Isn’t it funny that the Kingdom of Hyrule seems to be perpetually stuck in the dark ages?”
Ocarina of Time has neon lights, jukeboxes, and canned goods. The lakeside doctor’s chemistry is advanced enough that he is able to synthesize eyedrops. Given the newspaper articles strewn about shops, Hyrule also has pictoboxes in OoT.
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By Wind Waker, pictoboxes have evolved to print in color. In Phantom Hourglass, Linebeck’s ship is steam-powered.
In Twilight Princess, pictoboxes now print higher quality images. In addition, with the introduction of Malo Mart’s Castle Town branch, TP is confirmed to have fully functional electrical lighting in some places. Cannons are so safe, you can get launched out of one for fun. Pyrotechnics have grown advanced enough that explosives can function underwater, and Death Mountain has become a functioning, refined mining facility stable enough for Hylians to safely walk in. Also, Auru has a bazooka.
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SPIRIT TRACKS HAS TRAINS. THEIR AESTHETIC DIRECTLY REFLECTS THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION.
Hyrule is hardly stuck in the dark ages. It’s high fantasy.
Next point.
“For starters, I want to establish that I don’t agree with the assumption that what the Hyrulean Royal Family does = Zelda/Hylia would do. I don’t think it’s a mistake that almost every text in the OP explicitly mentions that it was a King that committed those acts, not Zelda herself.”
Once again, that was an error on my part. It wasn’t my intention to imply Zelda had any part in such actions. However, Zelda learns how to rule from her father, or her mother, or whomever holds the throne in that particular moment. These acts are never questioned in canon beyond “Yeah, that happened,” and the most conflict we have is the issues between Zelda and her father in Breath of the Wild boiling down to how to confront the Calamity—science vs. sealing magic— rather than anything else.
It’s a personal issue, and Rhoam treats Zelda terribly, essentially alienating himself from his own daughter and treating her as little more than a pawn. I agree that it’s absolutely terrible. However, that’s merely a personal issue. She’s complicit in how Rhoam addresses the Sheikah, possibly even fully aware of the anti-aging rune Purah was developing to force retired soldiers into battle against the Calamity, and from what we’ve seen in Age of Calamity, she doesn’t have an understanding of the Yiga Clan other than the snide remark Urbosa gives:
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Image credit goes to YouTube user BeardBear.
It’s up to Zelda to develop a deeper understanding of her country’s history; not to take personal responsibility, but to understand where those who are suffering are coming from.
That said, acting with the Hylians’ best interests at heart is exactly something Hylia would do.
In the prologue to Skyward Sword, the Demon King and his army attack the Hylians, slaying many and throwing the world into despair. Thus, the Goddess Hylia saves the Hylians by sending a chunk of land up into the heavens, sparing them from the war to follow while she gathers every other race to fight alongside her.
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So… How come Hylia only saved the Hylians?
I understand many were wiped out by demons, but if Hylia was fully prepared to spare people from violence, why not also send small numbers of every other race? Why only save the Hylians, her chosen people, while essentially dragging everyone else into battle with her? Furthermore, when Hylia’s immortal body suffered grave injuries, she opted to take advantage of this by choosing to be reborn as a person. Not only is it explicitly stated that Hylia reincarnated in order to utilize the Triforce’s power, as she could not do so as divinity, but she knowingly chose to be reborn as someone who would become close with her chosen hero, in order to influence him to follow her plan without hesitation.
Hylia used Link.
That much is certain, and it’s laid out clearly by Zelda shortly before she takes Hyrule’s longest beauty nap.
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It must be noted that while Zelda states she is Hylia reborn, and has regained Hylia’s memories by this point, she still sees herself as a separate entity from Hylia. While she herself is immensely guilty and apologizing over and over for what she’d done in her previous life, we have no way of knowing if Hylia herself would react the same way.
In fact, according to a fan-translation by ZeldaUniverse user Yamikawa, Demise goes as far as to describe Hylia as “brave and so-prideful,” hinting that even a being who loved her chosen people so much to save them still saw them as beneath her, if being reborn as human is seen as such a drastic extreme contradictory to her supposed character. Now, this is merely reflection on the inner workings of the Demon King, so his word can’t be taken as gospel. But, like all things, I find it interesting.
From what I can gather, however, Hylia certainly cared more about the Hylians than any other being in the land of Hylia, not dissimilarly to the royal family.
-       “I also don’t think that every princess Zelda is a Princess of Destiny or Representative of Hylia, I think that she reincarnates just about as often as Link and Ganon(dorf) do, because the logistics don’t really work out otherwise. This leaves hundreds, if not thousands of years where Zelda/Hylia isn’t on the throne.”
This is merely speculation. Moving on.
-       “There’s a notable trend of the King of Hyrule getting in the way of Zelda’s attempts to save the kingdom. First[,] he doesn’t take Zelda seriously [in] Ocarina of Time, forcing her to rely on Link […] I don’t know why the King of Hyrule was willing to listen to a random boy claiming to have been from the future over his own daughter but whatever I guess.”
The King of Hyrule believed Young Link because he came back to the Child Timeline with the Triforce of Courage. Up to that point, the whole Triforce was supposed to be safely locked away in the Sacred Realm, which was supposed to be completely inaccessible without the spiritual stones and the ocarina of time, neither of which Link had. I’d listen to the kid’s story too if he came back with a God Dorito on the back of his hand.
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-       “And then again in Breath of the Wild when Rhoam bans Zelda from ancient tech research despite the fact that he has absolutely no reason to believe his pray the incompetence away method is the right one.”
The tapestry showcasing the events from 10,000 years ago depicts a princess possessing the blood of the goddess using her sealing magic in order to seal away Calamity Ganon. Link can swing the Master Sword at Ganon or whack him with ancient arrows or light arrows all he wants. Without the ability to seal away the darkness, as shown at the end of Ocarina of Time, all of this preparation and planning would have been for naught. That is why Rhoam is so harsh on Zelda. That’s why so much emphasis is placed on unlocking her power. Without it, defeating Ganon would be impossible.
On that note, Rhoam also had no idea what he was doing. Zelda’s mother was the one with the sealing magic, not him. She was supposed to be the one to train Zelda, but she passed away before she got the chance to even start. He puts so much emphasis on prayer rather than ancient technology because he genuinely doesn’t know what else to do.
I can’t believe this post forced me to defend Rhoam of all people I’m gonna have a stroke—
-       “Also, this is purely speculation, but [I’m] pretty sure there’s an implication that King Daphnes Nohansen caused the flooding of Hyrule in Wind Waker […] This sounds like a wish on the Triforce that backfired[,] but I digress.”
Daphnes couldn’t have made a wish on the Triforce before Wind Waker because, when the Hero of Time left the Adult Timeline, that timeline’s Triforce of Courage shattered into eight pieces and scattered throughout the land—er, ocean. Even if he had Wisdom on him, Ganondorf still possessed the Triforce of Power when he was sealed away, and he wasn’t going to let go of it when he broke free.
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Besides, if Daphnes did wish on the whole Triforce, it would have disappeared. There would have been no Wind Waker.
-       “When she saves Hyrule in spite of interference…”
I’m not even going to finish the quote because the entire paragraph is too much for me to unpack. I’m assuming they’re saying that Zelda is never the one truly in power, and the royal family takes advantage of one Zelda’s good deeds to get brownie points.
However, concerning the first line…
In Ocarina of Time, Zelda going behind her dad’s back to try to “save Hyrule” leads Ganondorf straight to the Sacred Realm. Even though a time paradox leads to everything turning out okay in the end, the bleak future was created because Zelda wanted to play hero and pulled Link along with her. Even if Ganondorf managed to wrench the spiritual stones away from the Zora and Gorons, he wouldn’t have been able to access the Sacred Realm if Zelda didn’t send Link there to pull out the Master Sword, which Ganondorf would have never been able to touch. By all means, Ocarina of Timehappened because a little girl was in over her head and tried to take matters into her own hands when her dad didn’t believe her.
Aside from Breath of the Wild, there’s no other “interference” from the royal family that Zelda has to face.
-       “Zelda is the representation of a deity, so it makes sense that people would worship her to some extent, and having a goddess on the throne [probably] blesses the land. So[,] while the kings of Hyrule have a tendency to screw things over, [it makes sense] for Hyrule to be a monarchy because Zelda’s power as the goddess incarnate is needed to defend against Ganon and other threats, [r]ight?”
I acknowledge the author is attempting to portray the royal family’s possible justification for their rule. However, until I reached the succeeding passage, I believed it was the author making this justification, given how the entire paragraph preceding this was pure speculation. Once again, this passage is speculative, as nobody in Hyrule has ever explicitly given any notable opinion concerning the royal family. Why try to justify your rule when nobody’s criticizing it?
Since the author brings up Zelda being a representation of Hylia, however, it does bring to mind a particular problem I have with the royal family suddenly being goddess-blood.
It completely recontextualizes the relationship between the royal family and the Sheikah.
According to Creating a Champion, the Sheikah have a deep devotion to the Goddess Hylia. Since the royal family is descended from the goddess reborn, the Sheikah thusly are deeply devoted to the goddess Hylia.
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Source: Creating a Champion, p. 372
Now, the royal government using a minority group of people to do your dirty work is already scummy enough when you’re just a normal royal. In this case, however, the Sheikah are so devoted to their goddess that they will do anything for you. Whether it’s because certain monarchs are a “representation of a deity” remains to be seen, but the point is that they’ll do anything for you.
And the royal family takes complete advantage of a group of people unconditionally loyal to them, bidding them to do unspeakable things in the name of their religion, which for all intents and purposes is the royal family.
That’s absolutely deplorable, and it’s a wonder nobody’s brought attention to it yet, whether in-canon or in-fandom. What’s more, given how Impa is always Zelda’s attendant, this relationship is never questioned or criticized, whether it be by the Sheikah or Zelda herself.
And that’s terrifying.
-       “The reason Ganon is always an antagonist is because he’s the vessel for the curse of Demise.”
Demise was introduced in Skyward Sword. Demise is the root of all evil, the creator of monsters and conjuror of demons. He is pure evil in every sense from the word, the Zelda series’ version of Satan. Naturally, he’s as simple as you can get in terms of character. Barebones characterization, providing only just enough to tell the player exactly what they need to know:
He’s evil, he’s powerful, and he wants the Triforce. You have to stop him.
Ganondorf existed before Demise. Ganon had over twenty years of development before Demise brought his progress to a permanent flatline.
Who was Ganon before Demise?
Allow me to remind you.
In The Legend of Zelda, first released on February 21st, 1986, Ganon is simply described as “the Prince of Darkness,” and steals the Triforce of Power when he invades Hyrule. After the Triforce of Wisdom is shattered, he kidnaps Zelda.
He’s evil, he’s powerful, and he wants the Triforce. You have to stop him.
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Although Ganon doesn’t physically appear in Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, released in 1987, his presence is still felt as his minions pursue Link in order to revive the Prince of Darkness. In fact, the game over screen is the successful revival of Ganon.
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Now, given that these are the first two games in the series, it’s perfectly alright for Ganon to be as barebones as he was. After all, many villains at the time were the same way, with the most notable of Ganon’s counterparts being Bowser from the Super Mario Bros. franchise.
However, with innovation of technology comes innovation of narrative, and it’s with the release of A Link to the Past in 1993 on the SNES that we begin to see Ganon develop as a character. In the prologue to ALttP, Ganon is revealed to have once been human; he is given the name Mandrag Ganon—or Ganondorf Dragmire, as we now know him—and he was once the leader of a band of thieves who sieged the Sacred Realm and took control of the Triforce after murdering his own followers.
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Source: A Link to the Past SNES game manual
Ganon is still irrevocably evil, but in this case, we begin to learn more about him. We begin to see a character starting to form. One who isn’t just mindlessly evil, but who has the charm and wit to infiltrate Hyrule Castle and earn the King of Hyrule’s trust in the guise of Agahnim. Ganon was also a very capable leader, having successfully led his band of thieves straight to the Triforce. Even after wishing upon the Triforce and corrupting the Sacred Realm, Ganon’s power attracted followers in the form of greedy, power-seeking people. He’s powerful not by brute force alone, but through his cunning use of intellect.
Ocarina of Time served to further develop Ganon in little ways. For example, this is the first game wherein, for the majority of the game, Ganon is seen and referred to by his human form: Ganondorf. Ganondorf is shown to be powerful enough and stealthy enough to infiltrate the homes of the Zora, the Gorons, and the Kokiri, and send dangerous hazards their way in an effort to seize the Spiritual Stones. At the same time, he is first seen at an audience with the King of Hyrule, as if there for diplomatic reasons.
Although Zelda sees Ganondorf as evil because of her prophetic dream, the King of Hyrule doesn’t believe her. Because of this, we can infer that Ganondorf has enough charm and charisma to, if not win over the King of Hyrule, not be seen as suspicious despite the horrible acts he’d committed, not just in the past, but at that very moment. He’s also shown to be highly cultured, shown at the end of Link’s ascent up Ganon’s Tower. Not only is Ganondorf playing his own theme, but he’s doing so on the pipe organ, which is notoriously one of, if not the most difficult musical instrument to master.
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Once Ganondorf seizes the Triforce of Power, the kingdom of Hyrule is subjected to seven long years of his rule. During this time, normal people such as Ingo succumb to their greed and follow Ganondorf’s influence in pursuit of power and riches. Although Malon is naïve enough to believe Ingo was somehow under Ganondorf’s control, it’s clear to players that he was completely in control of his actions, and that Ganondorf’s rule brings out the worst in seemingly average people.
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Image credit goes to YouTube user ZorZelda.
Even a Hylian knight can fall under this influence, with it highly inferred that the knight who once guarded a room of pots for Link to smash is now a twisted poe collector, the man even stating that he likes it better this way.
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In Wind Waker, we finally see a more introspective side to Ganondorf. While he’s just as ruthless and fully ready to murder a child in the name of accomplishing his goal, he reveals the reason that started him on his path of darkness:
His people were suffering, and he wanted for his people what Hyrule had. He believed that taking Hyrule and taking the Triforce meant that his people could finally live freely, away from the harsh desert.
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Now, I’ve seen this challenged time and time again. Was Ganondorf lying to distract or manipulate Link? Was he telling the truth? Is this what Ganondorf has convinced himself to believe, after so much time sealed away and in isolation? We will never know, and that’s part of what makes the game so interesting. Ganondorf’s portrayal is a large part of why so many people love Wind Waker, and it’s not hard to see why.
Perhaps the darkest the Zelda series has ever gone in terms of the Triforce’s power was in Twilight Princess. After freeing Lanayru, the Light Spirit warns Link of the dark power he seeks, the Fused Shadow. In order to do this, she explains the history of the Triforce, and the bloodshed brought by its allure to the darkness in the hearts of men. Before the construction of the Temple of Time, many battles were fought, and one of them was the “Interloper War” that inevitably resulted in the creation of, not only the Light Spirits, but the Twili and the Twilight Realm.
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It’s important to note that Lanayru’s cautionary tale highlights that Link, the hero of the story, could succumb to the allure of the Triforce and dark magic just as easily as any other person. In this particular case, anyone could have fallen down the same path as Ganondorf. If anything, this tale is one of the most important bits of lore to take into consideration when discussing the series.
Anyone could have been in Ganondorf’s shoes. It could have happened to anyone.
Then, in one fell swoop, Skyward Sword ruined it.
In a single game, every bit of progress on Ganondorf is lost. Once again, we’re dragged down to the baseline characterization from the original game.
He’s evil, he’s powerful, and he wants the Triforce. You have to stop him.
Suddenly, everything the previous games had built up no longer matters. There’s no longer a need to question whether what Ganondorf did was solely out of greed, but also out of what he felt was necessity. There’s no need to wonder if Ganondorf was once a rational man, who succumbed to the irresistible pull of the Triforce like so many before him.
Ganondorf is, purely and simply, the reincarnation of Satan, so there’s no need to go any deeper than that.
And that’s why I hate this “vessel of Demise” thing. It completely undermines everything Ganondorf once was and reduces him to a single, cardboard cutout of a villain.
Moving on, before I get sad.
-       “This curse is specifically tied to Hylia’s bloodline and the Link’s soul, which is pretty specific…”
Demise’s curse is essentially dooming the earth with a never-ending rebirth of his hatred; his malice, if you would. The wording of his curse is specifically “people like you,” which could mean that it isn’t Link and Zelda’s exact souls that are tied to his hatred. Rather, people possessing the blood of the goddess and a heroic, courageous soul are doomed to deal with this curse.
However, my thoughts on this matter are pure speculation.
Also, Demise specifically targets his curse at people like Link and Zelda because they were the ones to kill him in the first place. That much is obvious.
-       “… [So] why do the clashes with Ganon always throw the fate of Hyrule into disarray? Because Zelda’s bloodline runs the country.”
Ganon would attack Hyrule even without Zelda’s family in charge. His pursuit of power and domination of the Triforce/Hyrule is therefore closely tied with the fate of Hyrule. Goddess blood on the throne has nothing to do with it.
-       “If Zelda came from a small town the curse would probably manifest in peril for that one region which isn’t great but it’s better than an apocalypse.”
Firstly, this is a run-on sentence. Secondly, I reiterate: Ganon would attack Hyrule as a whole, regardless if Zelda’s bloodline was on the throne. It wouldn’t matter if Zelda’s whole family suddenly moved to the countryside. When Ganon inevitably comes back, he’s still gonna go straight for the Triforce or to conquer all of Hyrule. Goddess blood isn’t even part of the equation for Ganon. And if goddess blood isn’t there to stop him, then that’s even better.
Alright, so I’m not even going to bother gratifying the last two paragraphs of the response with an answer, because it’s all rambling that has nothing to do with the original argument. Relinquishing the throne would do nothing to right any wrongs dealt to the many people who were hurt, and evil doesn’t care about a single princess with goddess blood or a boy with a pointy stick.
In conclusion, the addition of Hylia made it so that the royal family’s power dynamic with the Sheikah is even more critically imbalanced than it originally was, making the exile of the Sheikah 10,000 years ago even more heinous than it originally was. Yet, because Hylia is portrayed as wholly good and incapable of doing wrong, despite in-game evidence to the contrary, the royal family, and Zelda by extension, will never be criticized for any wrongdoing. In fact, doing so may well be heresy, if the responses to my original post are anything to go by.
By comparison, the addition of Demise diminishes Ganondorf’s character, rendering him down from the makings of a complex, human character—where anyone could have easily been in his place and had the same greed and ambition for power—into simply the reincarnation of the literal devil, where of course he’s evil, and you don’t have to do any digging beneath the surface. Ganondorf is the reincarnation of Demise, or his hate, or his vessel, so he’s pure evil and nothing more.
And that’s the greatest disservice Nintendo has ever dealt to The Legend of Zelda.
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the-soupiest-artist · 3 years
Text
Legend of Zelda: Lost and Found
Chapter 2: Choosing to Follow the Call
This series of fics contains spoilers for SOH! You have been warned!
Also thank you to all who have been supporting me through this endeavor!! This wonderful story wouldn’t have happened without the beautiful minds of @s-kinnaly and @ridersoftheapocalypse
~~~~~~~~
A quiet hum filled the courtyard of the palace, as the citizens of the grand capital started to fill the courtyard, and as the people gathered the quiet hum, turned into quiet singing. What was at first a small gathering turned into a choir of Healer and Hylian voices. All singing, waiting to see their chosen leader.
 The singing never ceased even in the grand hall of the palace. The walls lined with the elders of each district, each one singing, waiting for the leader and her family to enter.  As the side curtains to the main hall parted, the singing seemed to crescendo as the three daughters of Orlaithe entered. All dressed in white and gold but each had their own accented color.
 The eldest daughter present, Lilija. Dressed with accents of a cool purple. Her jewelry and flower details shimmering with an almost iridescent shimmer and complimented her brown curls. The youngest, Camelia, accented in a mixture of bright fuchsia and soft pink, her reddish hair dotted with her patron flower, Camelia. Finally, the Leader entered. The middle child and 3rd child of Orlaithe. Amaryllis, Her black ringlets under control and pulled up into her gold crown. Her dark indigo waste scarves flowing down to the floor, much like the statue of Din. 
 The elders bowed, their singing didn’t falter, the stone-faced leader outstretching her arms towards the crowded hall. The oldest of the elders, Sister Zillah, stepping forward. The other elders following, they all met in the back of the hall, Sister Zillah ahead of them, and in her aged freckled hands sat Akane’s Token. The necklace was gold, as was the color of the healers and of the divine goddesses who breathed them into existence. A beautiful green gem, set in the center of the gold metal of Akane’s Token, glinted in the light streaming through the curtains of the hall. Amaryllis stepped down from the marble platform she was standing on, meeting Zillah in the center of the hall. The Sister smiled and before her frail hands dropped the token into The Leader’s hands, she leaned in a whispered, “es deveenes weorkin behere fores netortum tore cheorsere hera.”  
The goddesses would be fools not to choose her
As the gentle touch of cold metal fell into Amaryllis’s palms, the leader nodded. Her eyes still cold and serious, as Amaryllis turned around and went back to the platform, the line of elders parted, yet they did not hug the walls as closely as before, instead, they lined the aisle. 
The double doors to the great hall opened, three young girls, entered. Each represented the golden goddesses, all of them dressed with their patron colors. As they walked down the aisle, each girl tossed a handful of colorful petals on the aisle. The girl representing Din, throwing petals of red. Nayru, petals of deep blue, and the girl adoring the green of Farore sprinkled her green leaves and flower petals. The young girls bowed towards the leaders as they came to the end of the great hall, the group giggling quietly to themselves and lining up against the wall. One of the elders, Oryn, shaking his head with a smile as he continued singing with his brethren, knowing the girl dressed in blue was his daughter and probably started the giggling. 
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Entering last, was the chosen girl. The one whose entrance everyone anticipated. Stepping into the dim hall, Mara. Dressed beautifully in the garments Camelia designed and crafted for her. 
Her palms sweaty, and nervous. The outside much more graceful than the inside, Mara felt like she was going to puke. She wanted to run by GODS RUNNING AWAY SOUNDED SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN THIS
ANYTHING BUT THIS
But it was her duty….what would her mother say?? She was doing this for her, and her family. As she continued to walk down the aisle Mara couldn’t help but miss her parents.
The warm smile of her mother and the strong hugs and words of affirmation she used to give. Her father’s kind but determined voice telling her that she was the greatest thing since sliced bread. She missed them….she wished they were here, encouraging her..telling her that everything would be just fine.
She thought all these things to herself, then stopping at the platform her aunts looking down at her with so much pride and hope. Mara knelt as Leader Amaryllis started whispering the sacred prayer, Akane’s token held high above her head as the words of blessing in their native tongue were whispered on her lips. 
Amaryllis finally unhooking the clasp and attaching it around Mara’s neck her aunt tilted her chin up by her fingers with a proud smile. “I’m so very proud of you,” Amaryllis whispered.
Amaryllis was never one for feelings of any kind. So when Mara heard those words and saw her smile, she knew her Aunt was telling the absolute truth. Mara did well.
In fact, she did very well!!
That approving gaze and smile was all she needed to make her believe, for that moment, that she was ready for this weight that seemed to settle on her as soon as the little necklace hung around her neck. 
As Mara rose from her kneeling, Amaryllis composed herself as if that split moment of actual emotion was never there presenting her nice before the eyes of their goddesses and people. “GREAT COUNCIL OF OUR PEACEFUL NATION!” Leader Amarylis’s commanding voice boomed, “I PRESENT TO YOU OUR CHOSEN LEADER! MAY THE GODDESSES LIGHT HER PATH WITH COURAGE, WISDOM, AND POWER!”
Amaryllis raised her arms to her court as Mara stood before the council with her head lifted high, although her eyes flickered with anxiety. 
“AND WHEN HER TIME COMES MAY THE GODDESSES CHOOSE HER TO CARRY OUR PEOPLE INTO A BRIGHTER FUTURE!” The council cheered in response, “WE ACCEPT HER SHOULD THE GODDESSES CHOOSE HER!! LONG MAY SHE REIGN!” ~~~ The party and celebration went on without a hitch! Camelia got very drunk and ended up staying the night at some unknowing suitor’s home, which was not surprising to any of the family.
Amaryllis went to bed as soon as making the required appearance was met. She wasn’t a fan of parties, or rather any fun for that matter. 
Lilija made sure everything went according to plan after Amarylis went to bed, she even straightened out the beginnings of a drunken fight between a Hylian and a Healer. Lilija of course escorted the Healer to the infirmary while she healed the Hylian instantaneously with her magic. Although it seemed all the authority had excused themselves to other matters the celebrating did not stop, even the guard was off duty and spent their time drinking laughing, and singing harvesting songs with tankards in hand. The same songs their ancestors, and even the people still sang today while harvesting their herbs from the hanging farmland built into the side of the mountainous valley the Healer Capital was birthed in. 
As Mara laid in her bed the echoes of joyful singing rang in her head as she drifted off to sleep with a smile. Although she was forced to socialize without Link by her side, she still had a good time. Which she spent in the courtyard of the palace, watching the dancers and various magical shows of the many other talented citizens of the city.
Her head full of good dreams and the Healer CIty went to sleep for the night, all windows dark and the mood shining at its full beauty, there was an unsettling air that started to settle, even Din’s fiery light flickered and went out as the winds of change kicked up and swept through the palace or more specifically in the room of their newly Chosen. The call
There it was again…
Like a beautiful call to war, or an eery temptation the sound echoed and interrupted the slumber Mara had just started to drift into. She pushed the noise away, turning over in her blankets trying to fall back asleep. Again the voice called out to her, a bit louder. Mara groaned and snuggled her head beneath her pillow, hoping that would stop the intrusion into her pleasant dream. 
But the determination of this call penetrated all logic and shattered the state of unconsciousness that Mara really wanted to fall into. With a frustrated sigh, she sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking sleepily around the room. “I can hear you,” Mara mumbled. “I don’t want any trouble I just want to sleep.” 
Looking around the room, seeing as it was still empty, and yet the curtains that swayed with the eerie wind, the wind beckoning her to leave her room and into the hall. 
“Whoever you are…” 
Giving in to the voice’s alluring demand she slid off her bed, her white nightgown joining the curtains in their trembling dance. Mara peered into the hallway, it was empty, dark, and quiet. A little too quiet for Mara’s liking.
The call tempted her father into the hall, she followed the call that seemed to resonate and shake her soul pulled her body outside of the palace. Not in the courtyard, but in one of the side entrances. It was like a secret meeting as if whoever was calling her wanted to lure Mara in private. Like an assassin, or thief in the night. Mara’s breath hitched out of a new fear from her anxiety’s newly formed thoughts. Even still she followed. “What do you want? Is this a trap?” As if whatever this call was could sense her unease, a trail of Healer Flowers, her people’s symbol, appeared and lead her exactly in the direction in which the alluring call in Mara’s heart wanted to go. Mara’s eyes grew wide as her mind tried to make sense of what it was seeing, and what magic was being displayed. “Honorable Goddesses…” she exclaimed quietly, “Hylia is this your doing?” She touched the token that hung around her neck, there was no answer, she followed farther into the unknown. The voice guided her farther up the mountain and to The Great Thorn wall. The wall that secluded their city from whatever the outside world held. There the path that was once lit faded behind Mara and trapped her in a ring of Healer Flowers. Mara does a quick turn to determine the fact that she was indeed in the center of these flowers.
The voice echoed its trill
Mara waited silently for something else to happen. The notes the voice sang echoed again, begging her to sing. Without thinking for one second she sang the melody the calling had been repeating to her. The call harmonized with her as Mara sang with it. As she sang the golden flowers, Mara noticed, they were releasing their pollen, at first in a gentle sprinkle, and then in a thicker sheet as Mara felt herself fill with magic. Is this supposed to happen after The Choosing??
Are the Goddesses asking her to lead NOW??!!
OF ALL TIMES NOW?? Before her mind could swell with more anxiety Mara was given several obscure visions. She seemed to run on another force as she was frightened but the song still carried out through her lungs without any interruption. War
A land scorched, hurt, and trampled by battle, she could feel the very earth in the vision weep in sorrow and pain. 
A towering king with fiery hair and yellow eyes and his queen, wise and sure. She looked an awful lot like some of the paintings her people displayed in their palace. Several Other figures she didn’t recognize but all of them stood in front of the king and queen. 
The Three Goddesses. Din Nayru
And Farrore, split in half with a single swipe of a blade.
 Famine
And…
And Spring, with petals of pink, new life, and a promise for a bountiful harvest. That image stayed strong in Mara’s head as she sang, the power that seemed to course through her veins grew in its potency and Mara had no way to channel it, it was too much. She was a weak Healer as it was and this divine power, if she couldn’t get it out of her system fast, it could tear her apart from the inside out. As she belted a final note, all of that power was released. Mara forcing her hands down and a forceful golden flash scattered across the space. The divine power leaving her and Mara felt normal once more. The Healer Flowers disappeared as if they were never there, to begin with. Mara stood there, panting. She...she wasn’t dead, she even pinched herself to prove it. Mara lifted her head from staring at the ground, her jaw-dropping and her blue eyes glowing with excitement as she saw what laid before her. The Great Thorn Wall had been compromised.
As there, caused by Mara’s blast of power, stood a small gash in the wall. It was enough for a horse and rider to pass through. Whatever mysterious call she followed and whatever divine power it gave her in that moment, it gave her and Link their guaranteed safe passage to the kingdoms beyond the Healer Capital. If there even were Kingdoms anymore in the land beyond.
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musashi · 3 years
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Heya Mu! Sent you an ask a few days ago about infodumping prompts; here's a few just for fun. Answer when you like, no rush! Feel free to use factual lore information, headcanons, or kin stuff as you like. So, I know that Hylia and Din, Farore, and Nayru are all goddesses, but what's their "relationship"? Which came first, and why did Nintendo/the responsible deity (or deities) feel like they had to make a new deity/deities? Hylia created Fi, right? To guide her chosen hero? Did Hylia create any other sword spirits (weird tongue guy notwithstanding, p sure Demise made him), did she create the concept of sword spirits, and what prompted Hylia to give Fi a very analytical-type personality (if she chose at all and if it wasn't Fi's own choice to be like that?) (Apologies for the weird tone on this next one, couldn't figure out the right way to word it) What gives Hylia the right/ability to intervene more in Hyrule's happenings than Din/Nayru/Farore? afaik, the latter trio has a pretty hands-off approach. Are they actually invested in seeing Hyrule flourish or is Hyrule just kind of Hylia's "pet project"? Is Hyrule the only land she cares for, or does she care for other lands that have been touched by her chosen hero/his incarnations as well (Labrynna/Holodrum/Termina/Lorule/etc.)? And, finally, what came first, the loftwing or the egg? Apologies if this is overwhelming, I can break these down into separate asks if you like, I just like the way you write things and give information... Plus it kinda got away from me a bit :P Hope things are going well for you!
OH FUCK YES LETS GOOOOOO THANK YOU I LOVE SHIT LIKE THIS
So, I know that Hylia and Din, Farore, and Nayru are all goddesses, but what's their "relationship"?
i view the golden goddesses as higher deities and hylia as a lesser one--the golden goddesses had power enough to create the entire world, while hylia herself seems less powerful? she was mortal enough to be mortally wounded from demise, despite being a goddess, so it seems her power is far less infinite.
i honestly have trouble humanizing the golden three like i do hylia, whenever i try to conceptualize them as people rather than forces it just goes fuzzy in my brain? so i have trouble viewing them having any relationship with her at all. the way i see it, they simply breathed a purpose into her and let her live it, and she did what she felt she was meant to do. if anything, the trinity are guiding stars more than they are big sisters.
Which came first, and why did Nintendo/the responsible deity (or deities) feel like they had to make a new deity/deities?
it's... hard to say? the triforce existed in zelda 1, and the goddesses of power/wisdom/courage are mentioned in alttp, but they aren't named until oot. hylia is also mentioned in alttp--'the people of hylia,' is what the royal family is referred to as, with no elaboration lol, she's not named as a goddess. a goddess of time is mentioned in majora's mask that's heavily implied to be hylia, but it's probably safe to say the golden 3 came first, hylia as a goddess didn't really feature at all until skyward sword.
in the story, the golden goddesses created the world, and the point at which they departed turned into the triforce. they tasked hylia with watching over the triforce, making sure it didn't fall into corrupt hands, and living amongst the people so they would always be protected. she's a guardian deity, at her core, her place is among mortals, which is why the humans of the surface are named in her honour.
as for why nintendo just kinda threw a fourth goddess into the mix 25 years in... i dunno, probably just to spice things up for the lore! ocarina of time made the golden goddesses seem so untouchable, i don't really blame them for making a pink diamond-type goddess to live closer to humans and kickstart the whole story. when skyward sword came out the marketing was all about how it was an origin story!
Hylia created Fi, right? To guide her chosen hero? Did Hylia create any other sword spirits (weird tongue guy notwithstanding, p sure Demise made him), did she create the concept of sword spirits?
as far as we know, fi and gary hams are the only sword spirits in existence. there's straight up no trace of sword spirits anywhere else in zelda lore, like literally nothing. i would say that it takes tremendous power to enchant a sword with a spirit. hylia and demise are both gods of their respective domains.
i honestly lean more toward demise being the first. ghirahim strikes me as 'older' than fi, though that might just be that he's been autonomous & without his master for a very long time, lots of time to wander the surface and develop as an entity. sword spirits are... very morally complex creatures, because they are designed to be servants, which is never a good thing and you can't really make it better by being like 'oh, but they love it' lmao. demise designing himself what is functionally a slave to get him the upper hand is within his character, and programming that slave as a failsafe in the event of his death is exactly the kind of global evil i'd expect from him. i think hylia takes a page from his book when she makes fi, hoping to gain a similar upperhand--but with fi she's less of a slave and more of a guardian angel.
(botw confirms that fi is programmed with a similar failsafe, which is very interesting! when demise is sealed away, ghirahim awakens and persists, wandering the surface in search of anything and everything that could revive his master. when link dies in botw, fi awakens after millennia asleep and calculates, immediately, the exact scenario with the highest probability of saving him from the brink.)
what prompted Hylia to give Fi a very analytical-type personality (if she chose at all and if it wasn't Fi's own choice to be like that?)
i go back and forth on this, i have many interpretations. i can never decide which interpretation of hylia i like best. the sentimental kinnie side of me wants her to be this heavenly thing with this overflowing heart who loves and loves and loves so much, she can't help but let it spill over. the part of me who is interested in stories wants her to literally just be rose quartz/pink diamond from steven universe, this otherworldly being who is fascinated by humans but struggles to see them as her equal, as things with souls. how i interpret fi is directly tied to how i interpret hylia, so it changes.
here are some ideas i have:
hylia sucks. she made fi to get the upper hand, in both her own battles and her chosen hero's. she didn't think about much of anything when she made fi, just kind of saw the sword spirit as a chess piece. fi came out like that because hylia didn't bother to program her emotions.
hylia really sucks. she purposefully designed fi to be an unfeeling machine. emotional attachments are not efficient, they do not give you the upper hand in battle. she designed fi intentionally and carefully to be nothing more than a cold ai who exists to serve. anything less wouldn't be enough.
hylia rocks. she came down to earth a goddess who knew she was above the mortals there, but the courageous heart of one single man melted her heart to honey and she vowed to make his soul immortal. sword spirits are born as blank slates, their identities tied only to their purpose. hylia knew when fi met link, though, that would change. this hylia does not view emotional attachments as a flaw--maybe she did, once upon a time, but since knowing humans and loving humans, she's learned there is nothing more powerful than a heart on fire. hylia always wanted fi to learn this lesson, and though she programmed the spirit to be efficient first and foremost, she knew that if anyone could wake up the heart of a machine, it would be link.
What gives Hylia the right/ability to intervene more in Hyrule's happenings than Din/Nayru/Farore? afaik, the latter trio has a pretty hands-off approach. Are they actually invested in seeing Hyrule flourish or is Hyrule just kind of Hylia's "pet project"?
honestly i can't say why beyond what i said above about her being kind of a lesser deity. the golden goddesses really did just create the entire universe and the most powerful artifact known to man and then dip and leave her to it.
they seem very... ambivalent to the fate of hyrule. the triforce itself can't discern good from evil intent, it simply grants wishes, and likewise the golden goddesses make no move to intervene unless they are certain their world will be completely destroyed. i'm pretty sure the only influence they ever have on the land below is the great flood that precedes wind waker--hyrule gets so close to desolation that they say fuck it and even then they drown the world, with little care for the people below. it's just this clean sweep, survival of the fittest.
after the era of the goddess though, hylia's right to intervene simply comes from the fact that she chose mortality over godhood. she looked her divinity in the face and said 'no thank you' and chose to die and be eternally reborn instead. homegirl brute forced her way into it and as long as the royal family keeps having daughters she isn't stopping any time soon.
Is Hyrule the only land she cares for, or does she care for other lands that have been touched by her chosen hero/his incarnations as well (Labrynna/Holodrum/Termina/Lorule/etc.)?
i wish i had answers for this. i feel like her protection goes wherever link goes, though, even if it's not as strong in other realms. it is her that forged his unbreakable spirit, so in a way he carries her blessing with him always... i don't know if that makes sense, but i think there's a bit of hylia's golden love wherever link steps.
And, finally, what came first, the loftwing or the egg?
oh i know this one. it's the loftwing. i will not elaborate.
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bexterbex · 4 years
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A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 53
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Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. Tag lists are closed
Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda
A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–
He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?
MASTERLIST
Chapter 53: Day Drinking?
Adlez led you all to a door that you, of course, had never seen before. “After you m’lady,” she said with grandeur.
You entered the room and were rather stunned at the sight. A full-fledged bar. There was a bar on the First Order’s capital ship, a military ship. Not just one in your private quarters. “Adlez isn’t it a little too early for drinking,” you asked, still shocked and taking in the fact that there were people here in the A.M.
“It might be m’lady but it is a change of sight. I assume that if this is rather a shock for you, that you probably don’t want to return here on the Delta shift? It might be a little too risque,” she said as she sauntered over to the bar and was greeted by the bartender with a strange familiarity.
You followed her, Olivia-Rose sat off to her right at the bar, you to the left, and the lieutenant to your left. Kuruk and Trudgen were seated in a booth close to the door, and a waitress came to take their orders. The bartender asked if you wanted a drink, to which you declined.
“This is supposed to be fun, m’lady. Loosen up just a little bit,” scolded Adlez.
“I don’t know, for some odd reason, I feel like I shouldn’t be here,” you explained. It honestly felt like something Kylo wouldn’t approve of and you felt rather conflicted. You shouldn’t need his permission to be here, but at the same time, you wanted to know if he was ok with you being here. If this was something acceptable for you to do.
“As I said, it isn’t like we are here on Delta shift, we are here when things are appropriate for a lady of your status,” said Adlez.
“What happens here on Delta shift,” you were curious.
“It turns into a gentleman’s club of sorts, nothing too uncouth, more dancing than anything.” Adlez took a sip of her strong-looking drink.
“More burlesque than striper,” interjected Olivia-Rose quietly. She was babysitting some overly neon thing.
Your mind rather raced at the thought. Of course, you knew the men and women on board needed entertainment, and would probably seek something like this when they came to port, but to actually have something like this on board sort of blew your mind. “So the First Order employs people specifically to do something like this,” you ask.
“No ma’am, various officers and enlisted members. No one is paid by the First Order, they do it of their own free will,” responded Mitaka trying to hide the blush forming on his cheeks.
You only nodded in response. Somehow it made you feel better. That they weren’t employing/forcing people to do this against their will. You were just shocked that it was something the prim and proper First Order would allow.
“Do any of you partake in this,” you ask looking at each of them.
Adlez responded first, “Yes, but not as a dancer, only as a spectator. It can be a rather good place to find a willing partner for the night, or a great place to bring one, they do half of the work for you.”
The lieutenant vigorously shook his head and gulped while he looked towards the stage. Somewhere his mother would probably be proud of him, but you didn’t look down on Adlez either.
“I’ve only been in here once so far, Adlez dragged me here last night,” said Olivia-Rose.
“You say that as if it was a bad thing,” rebuked Adlez. She then took a big swig of her drink, which was rather impressive. “I was only trying to broaden your horizons.”
Broaden her horizons. Olivia-Rose was rather pretty, but you were pretty sure she wasn’t as suave as Adlez and probably didn’t need to go to a bar like this to find someone. You were pretty sure you saw the lieutenant sneaking glances at her the last few days.
Of course, she was a bit older than him, but they would be rather cute together if you did say so yourself. Maybe that was something you could help with, but you wouldn’t force them into anything, seeing as they would be with each other too often. But they would be cute.
As if on cue you received a message from Kylo on your phone, ‘It would be preferred if you were not in the Officers’ bar. Find something else to fill your time.’
“Well, this is a no go option ladies and gents,” you said to your group.
“Why is that m’lady,” asked Adlez looking over your shoulder at your phone.
“The Supreme Leader has asked me to not spend my time here,” you explained. You properly showed her your phone.
“He said it would be preferred, it doesn’t mean you have to listen,” she said finishing her drink.
“I know, but I would rather not put him in a bad mood at the moment. We have been going back and forth at each other’s throats, and I am too tired to start right now.” You were honest, you hoped you could go a few days without fighting. It was all becoming rather disheartening and exhausting.
Her eyes traced along the love bites marking your neck, “You’ve been at each other’s throats all right.” She put down a handful of credits and got up to leave. You all followed. Olivia-Rose knocked back the rest of her drink and hurried up to follow, to which you see the lieutenant tried to stray a bit for her.
You all left the bar with the knights following behind. “There really isn’t much to do m’lady unless the Supreme Leader would allow you down on the surface. Which I doubt. This is a military vessel. They set most of the entertainment up in the living spaces, so the bar was really the only option we had while your chambers were being cleaned up. Unless you want to go sit it on various training or observe people working there really isn’t anything to do. They designed your chambers to keep you entertained,” said Adlez.
“I could ask him but I doubt that he would allow such things.” You then turned to the lieutenant, “Do we know how far along they are at cleaning up the mess?”
He nodded and quickly pulled up the work order on his data pad, “They should be wrapping up now. It seems you might be without a few things for a few days while one of the workshops start on them, one couch wasn’t able to be repaired and it may take a few days to get some of the bar items imported from across the galaxy.”
“That seems fine, why don’t we head back. I would like to lie out in the simulated sun for a bit.” With that, your party seemed content on returning to your chambers.
There were a few technicians finishing up when you got there, but you paid them no mind as you headed straight out to the patio to lie on one of the lounge chairs. Adlez set the temperature and sun strength for you. You felt like a cat laying out in the sun, you even took a quick cat nap before you heard a commotion coming from ‘inside.’
You turned to look through the windows that looked into the living space. You saw Adlez yelling after a male technician and you saw Kuruk take him into a headlock before dragging him out of your chambers. You were curious, so you went to investigate.
Adlez was clutching her pearl necklace and yelled to Trudgen to, “Make a sweep of the whole place! We don’t need another pervert in here!” You then watched him move throughout the place, taking time to open up every cabinet and door.
“What is going on,” you ask her.
“Oh, nothing m’lady. Just a lonely technician who thought it was a good idea to go through your intimates. Nothing we can’t handle. I am just glad it was me in your dressing room and not you.” She held your shoulders reassuringly. She seemed a bit shaken up, but still so well-grounded.
You saw Trudgen come back from somewhere in the bedroom. He just nodded at both of you which prompted Adlez to ask, “So everything is all clear?”
He nodded, and you answered for him, seeing as he was the least talkative of the knights, “Yes, I believe everything is all clear. Thank you, Trudgen.” You then turned to the lieutenant who had followed you ‘inside,’ “Can you report this to the Supreme Leader? Possibly have him transferred off the ship?”
You heard Adlez laugh at that, “Good luck with that, he’ll be lucky if the Dark Lord allows him to live let alone have the capacity to be transferred someplace else. I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow there is a public execution in the main assembly hall.” She was still holding her pearls as she walked around behind your bar and poured herself a drink of some amber-colored liquor.
“Well, let’s just hope that the Dark Lord takes my opinion into account and just demotes and transfers him.” You were really hoping you would not have to watch any public execution. You knew they were a thing that the First Order did frequently, but you were hoping to avoid ever seeing it.
She did a sort of surrendering bow to you as she drank from her drink. You weren’t standing there more than a few more seconds before the doorbell rang; the lieutenant reached the door before you did. It was the general to which you now remembered that you were to have etiquette lessons during lunch and after.
“Good afternoon, m’lady.  Are you ready to start on your dinner etiquette,” asked Hux.
“I suppose I have to be, I don’t want to waste either of our time. But can you answer something for me first? How likely would an execution be for rifling through my things? I mean that female officer got injured and demoted for stealing my things, along with propositioning the Supreme Leader. What would rifling get?” You hoped that the technician would just get demoted without the beating.  
“Well, m’lady I hate to inform you but both of them are on the schedule for tomorrow morning’s assembly. The Supreme Leader would like to make examples of them now that there is a pair. One for propositioning him and one for attempting to proposition you.”
You turned to Adlez in shock, “You said he was just going through my things, not that he was attempting to proposition me.”
“Well, m’lady I don’t think that there was going to be a proposition if I am being honest. He did ask me to fetch you but there was a look in his eyes that told me otherwise, that and he held a pair of your underwear like a savage beast. As I said, you are lucky that it was me that was in the dressing room and not you. We should probably discuss with the Supreme Leader to give you some self-defense courses,” she said, all of this rather matter-of-factly. She wasn’t messing around and probably hoped to avoid telling you.
You turned to the general, “Will I have to be there?” You loathed the idea, but you had a feeling what the answer might be.
“I believe it might be for the best that you would be m’lady. As they both committed crimes against you, and therefore the Supreme Leader himself.” You could see that he saw that you were rather displeased with this statement. “You could ask the Supreme Leader if you could be there before while their crimes are being read off and then leave before the execution itself.”
“Thank you general. I suppose I will just have to ask him tonight,” you relented. You then followed the general into the dining room, as did the lieutenant and your ladies-in-waiting. You were rather dreading having a lesson while you ate, but it had to be done.
A/N: To those of you reblogging I do see your tags and commentary and thank you for them. You know who you are, I just don’t know how to best respond.
 And thanks for being patient with today’s upload!
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sanchoyo · 4 years
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Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸
🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)
This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:
-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL
-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao
-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO
-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 
-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)
-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/
-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)
-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)
-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 
-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun
-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO
-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)
-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho
-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 
-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)
-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...
I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:
-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.
-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.
-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours
-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...
-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...
-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.
-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)
-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.
-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 
-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.
-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:
Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)
Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)
Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)
Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace
Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels
Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)
Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c
Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)
ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!
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all-hail-trudos · 3 years
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My adventures in Skyward Sword continue, and I've actually made a bunch of progress since my last post! Spoilers lie ahead. Stop reading here if that's a problem.
I have now made it through the Earth Temple, the Lanayru Mining Facility, the rerun of the Skyward Temple, the water dragon's den, and I'm like five seconds away from beating Farore's Temple. I am likely a third of the way through the game. And I've had a Lot of Thoughts. So first off, as always, the bad:
- Impa's introduction was personally bad enough that it needs its own post. Impa herself has since mostly redeemed herself. But that single accusation of "You were late" is an objectively bad game design decision that frankly marks a low point for the series as a whole. I'm also not sure how Nintendo was expecting me to feel, introducing Impa this time as a... rival figure? Keeping me separate from the girl I'm actively fighting to get back and high-key emotionally invested in. Do you want me to hate her? This is how you make me hate her. Getting in a dig later on of "Am I late now?" during my big damn heroes moment was nice. Receiving acknowledgment of maybe she misjudged me, also nice. Is she still on thin fucking ice? You betcha.
- The Mogmas are cursed. I said it before and I'll say it again. Their characters are mildly entertaining, but their faces and gangly limbs are a thing of horror. And maybe it's just because Nintendo has been running on specific races for the longest time, but they feel weirdly out of place. I guess it's because they feel like something from the N64 era, with their weirdly low poly body shapes and their designs looking like a cursed Crash Bandicoot ripoff. This is not Zelda at its best, and I really hope they get a MASSIVE glowup if they make a reappearance. (And I hope they don't).
- The Lanayru region is a rollercoaster of feelings. Going from a burning hellhole to a desert wasteland was really not what I was hoping for. But at first making it a rocky desert was pleasant. For a second I had hopes this wouldn't be the Gerudo Desert precursor. Then the time stones opening portals to the past was really cool and brought a lot of variety. But then we're farted out into the real desert, and I just about quit. Brown. Brown as far as the eye can see. It's no wonder the Hylians of skyloft thought there was nothing beneath the clouds. They were only a little off from the truth.
- The mining facility was... interesting. I love that Nintendo's idea of dungeon equipment this time was "give them a reverse vacuum". The industrial magitech nightmare complex, with its hyper speed conveyor belts and overpopulated Beamos was not my idea of a fun time, but it's also not the worst this game has offered either. (That honour still belongs to the desert immediately outside).
- The harp. The harp represents everything wrong with this game, and why BotW needed to cut itself loose from tradition in a big way. This too will get its own post, probably the same one as Impa where I discuss the gameplay mechanics from a more objective standpoint. (I'm ngl, I'm not even trying to be objective here.) Stay tuned! (Please stay tuned.)
And now, for a good point, because honestly the game up to this point doesn't have many imho:
- I loved the little robots guys. They were immensely entertaining, especially with their legitimate mistrust in Link. As background characters, they're the most enjoyable this game has to offer next to the denizens of the pumpkin inn. Also, Scrapper. He may be a robot, but he has heart. I approve of his crush on Fi, and I only wish the game would show me more dialog discussing that. First and foremost, the fact that someone other than LInk can see her, and this crusty robot's first impression is "Oh my God! You're so beautiful, I will do literally anything you ask, just let me love you!"
- Flying. Just, flying. BotW's paraglider is an excellent nod to this excellent gameplay mechanic, and I really hope we get something closer to this in BotW2.
To prevent this from getting too long, I'm going to stop here. There's more to come, since I had to go through the entire ordeal of getting to the water dragon, and I've now arrived at the Sand Sea. But for now, I'd love to hear what other people think! Especially if you disagree, please let me know! I'm all here for civil arguments.
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bltngames · 4 years
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SAGE 2020: Indie Games
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SAGE may closed more than a day ago, but thankfully, the website remains up for those who still want to download its games. So even though this article is technically very late, nothing listed here is out of date. The event may be over, but the games live on! Which is honestly a relief, because I think doing ten games per article is taking its toll on me. Normally, when I’d write for TSSZ, I’d do somewhere in the realm of 5-7 games per article, and even that would eventually burn me out. After writing about 20 games this year, I was clearly starting to feel like I was running out of steam. Oh well. We live and learn. Here’s another ten games!
There’s one more article left after this, a sort of “honorable mentions” round-up that will feature much shorter blurbs as I blow through way more games way faster. If I didn’t talk about your game here in these three articles, now’s your chance to let me know so I can say something about it in the final article.
Anyway, onwards to our ten indie games.
Victory Heat Rally
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I’m all for any game channeling the spirit of Sega’s old SuperScaler arcade technology, and Victory Heat Rally is all about that. Everything about this game seems so MY AESTHETIC that my only complaint is that I’m hungry for more. A lot more. This demo is a simple time trial on one race track and I’m itching to sink my teeth into literally anything else this game has to offer. There is an older demo from back in April with more content, but it’s running on a different version of the code base -- this newest demo is significantly improved both in terms of visuals and control. I really don’t have anything else to say about it. There’s not much here, but what’s here is charmingly retro in the style of Sega’s Power Drift, but cuter and even more colorful.
  Sondro Gomez: A Sunova Story
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I had been interested to revisit Sondro Gomez after playing the first demo last year, but I don’t know if I just wasn’t in the right mood for it this year or what, but I kind of bounced off the game this time. To my memory, Sondro Gomez is a kinda-sorta side game in the Kyle & Lucy universe. You may remember Kyle & Lucy as one of a growing number of games coming out of the Sonic fan gaming community trying to break out as an original title. A while ago, the developers announced a partnership with Stealth to use the Headcannon engine to make the game with, something that extended to Sondro Gomez here. The problem is, it feels kind of weird now, and I can’t quite put my finger on why. I think it’s the little stuff -- you don’t get a lot of positive feedback when attacking using your whip (the sound is a bit quiet), and the difficulty balancing errs on the side of caution. I died a couple times in my time playing this newest demo, but I wouldn’t characterize Sondro Gomez as a game that feels challenging. Some of that probably has to do with the fact this is still just a demo, which means you spend a long time fighting the same four enemy types in every single level. There’s a lot of charm to the story and the characters it involves, but that only takes you so far when it feels like you’re doing the same things over and over in the actual levels, you know? Either way, the touched up visuals and the new boss fights are welcome. Interested in seeing what the full release looks like next year.
  Delta Gal
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In retrospect, a Mega Man Legends fan game seems like a no-brainer, doesn’t it? Where Delta Gal has a leg up is in controls. Even considering the era Mega Man Legends was released in, it had very awkward controls. Delta Gal’s response is to embrace standard third person action game controls with a mouse and a keyboard. Now, there is controller support, but even once you get it set up, you have button layout presets like “Bad” and “Almost Good.” Honestly, if you can, just play it with a keyboard and mouse. The demo offers about 30-40 minutes of gameplay, with a bit of the town, a forest section, a cave, and one whole dungeon. Visuals nail the best parts of the Mega Man Legends low-fi aesthetic, colors are vibrant, and the pixel art textures look very good. The town is full of characters with lots of personality, too. A particular favorite being the guy who runs the junkyard who likes to show off by flexing his muscles but then ultimately chickens out when it comes to exploring the cave he discovers. The only downside I’d say is the sound design. The game sounds okay, but some of the music is a little bland, and certain sound effects lack the right kind of punch. Granted, this style of sound design isn’t easy, so I can empathize with the developers in that respect. Honestly, it doesn’t really detract from anything at all, so maybe it’s not even worth bringing up. Either way, good stuff, and I’m looking forward to the full release.
  Bun n’ Gun
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Here’s a cute little game about a bunny in the old west. I’m absolutely in love with the visuals and the music here, but the gameplay is… interesting. Bun isn’t a typical shooter or platformer, thanks to the fact that he appears to only have one arm, which is occupied by his gun. Now you wouldn’t think this would matter, as it’s pretty easy to design a game around only having to jump and shoot, and that’s fair enough. But there’s a strange heft to this character. It takes them a little bit to pick up speed, and it takes them a bit to slow down, and there’s an unmistakable, split-second delay between pushing the jump button and actually jumping. I know enough about this kind of game development that a delay between pushing a button and actually jumping has to be a deliberate design decision, and I split on whether or not I like it. I don’t think I hate it, because it’s pretty easy to get used to the way it feels, but it does mean you’re working with a handicap when it comes to split-second movements. Given the bunny seems to only have one arm, though, perhaps that’s the point. Either way, it’s cute. Give it a look.
  Shield Cat
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I feel like I’ve been over-using the word “charming” to describe games at SAGE this year, but you know what? Shield Cat is charming as heck. People also tend to think it’s reductive to describe things by comparing them to something that already exists, but I say nuts to that, too. Saying “It’s like…” is an easy shorthand, and besides, if somebody is saying your project is like one of their favorite games, it just means they’re giving you praise and might lack the words to accurately describe that praise. Thing is, that’s actually kind of hard to do with Shield Cat. The nearest relative to this game would be The Legend of Zelda, but Shield Cat honestly plays very little like Zelda, beyond having a top-down perspective. Secret of Mana, maybe, with the stamina meters? I don’t know. Regardless, this is a charming (!!!) top down action game where you roam around exploring an overworld and solve light puzzles. It controls well and the aesthetics are nice. Can’t really get much better than that, though I do have to wonder what it is you’re supposed to be doing in this game. It took me about 30 minutes to see everything available in this demo, but there’s no story setup and only the smallest pieces of what could be considered a dungeon. What’s on offer here is interesting enough that I find myself wanting to know more about this world. For example, it’s called Shield Cat, but clearly you’re some kind of ferret. What’s that about? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.
  Prototype N
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I’ve sat here staring into the void wondering what to write about for this game for a long time, because it’s one of those demos that’s just… a solid and fun game that nails exactly what it’s going for. I would say that Prototype N leans a little too far towards the easy side of things, but the third level provided in the demo ramps the challenge up enough to be just about perfect. And, really, that’s it. That’s the game. You get two softer introductory levels to get you acclimated to the controls (which are similar to Mega Man, but different enough not to be a direct clone) and one “real” level to actually give you a bit of a work out. There’s nothing else to really say. This has the vibe of a 1993 or 1994 Capcom game, or maybe something from Data East. Every single part of this game’s presentation is laser-focused on that aesthetic, and it pulls it off flawlessly. Sound design, music, visuals, it’s a bullseye. This game fell out of a time machine in the best way possible. Definitely give it a look.
  Yan’s World
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From a game that nails the SNES aesthetic to this, a game which pays tribute to the Virtual Boy… but not really? I actually became aware of Yan’s World many years ago through a mutual Discord, and it always looked interesting, but simultaneously a little confusing, something that still mostly holds true to this day. Per the game’s own Kickstarter sales pitch, Yan’s World is “stylized as a lost title for Nintendo's Virtual Boy.” I can get down with that, but the game almost instantly breaks its own rule because Yan’s primary method of attack is to shoot a missile from his head that can only be aimed using the mouse. As such, Yan’s World doesn’t have controller support, even though one of the stretch goals currently listed on their Kickstarter page is to make a version that can be played on real Virtual Boy hardware. And, honestly, what’s the deal with this game’s whole… everything else? Why is this kid an onion? Why are the platforms made out of clocks? Why does all of Yan’s dialog make him seem like he’s sort of pissed off when he’s got such a big happy smile? There’s a bit of a hand-wave to suggest the entire game takes place inside of a dream, and for once that actually means throwing logic out the window, I guess. Oh, the missile is a pillow? Fine, whatever. Use it to blast this demonic apple, and then threaten to kill an innocent NPC. It’s a dream! Despite how little sense that makes, it… kind of works? The sprites are big and lovely, the game controls well, and the level design is plenty creative. I can’t fault the game for that, it’s just trying to figure out everything wrapped around the game that feels so bizarre.
  Cosmic Boll
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I don’t know if I really understand what’s going on in Cosmic Boll, but I love to play it just the same. This plays like if Treasure made Dragon Ball Advance Adventure while strung out on cocaine. The end result is pure hyperactive chaos. There is a whole complicated combat system at play here, and a very lengthy in-depth tutorial when you first start the game, but you can figure out a lot of it by just skipping the tutorial and playing the game for real. You can get by pretty easily by just mashing buttons and seeing what happens, and that’s not a complaint, because a lot happens in this game. Like, constantly. It never stops, it never really slows down. You’re always zipping around, spinning and flipping and punching soldiers, explosions everywhere, collectibles everywhere, just utter madness. It’s Sonic the Hedgehog plus Devil May Cry plus Gunstar Heroes and all of it is mixed up in ways you probably don’t expect. All of this is to say that Cosmic Boll is messy and cool and fun and you should probably play it.
  Brock Crocodile
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This is a game I’ve seen a lot of around social media, and it’s nice to finally be able to try it. Weirdly enough, this is the first game all SAGE that has flat out refused to see my controller. For the last few years at SAGE, I’ve been using a Playstation DualShock 4, which typically causes me all kinds of headaches with games expecting an Xbox controller. This year, I’ve been using an 8bitdo SN30+. These things are designed primarily to be used on the Switch, but using a controller macro, you can change it to Xbox or Playstation modes. The “Xbox” mode has served me well so far, but Brock here fails to let me use the controller at all. Fortunately, with only three buttons, Brock manages to be mostly playable on a keyboard. That being said, a lot of this game feels a little bit off. The camera is kind of swimmy, as it's almost constantly in motion trying to get a better angle on what's around you. Brock himself doesn't have a smooth acceleration curve either -- it's more like shifting gears in a car, where you reach one top speed and then click up into the next highest speed. That can work, but Brock changes gears much too quickly and without much feedback, making it look like one jerky acceleration curve instead of two. And then there’s the visuals. Level art looks great, character portraits look great, but I’ve never been the biggest fan of the sprites I’ve seen in this game. Take Brock himself, for example: he’s got insanely thick thighs for some reason but the rest of his body looks thin and wispy, and he stands with kind of weird posture. The good news is, despite these complaints, Brock Crocodile is actually really fun to play. You eventually get used to the game’s control quirks, and the level design and included boss fight are excellent, striking that perfect balance where they aren’t too easy but don’t feel unfairly difficult, either. Plus, even though the cutscenes aren’t skippable (annoying as I was dealing with controller issues), the writing is snappy and the dialog is funny. It may not be perfect, but there’s still a lot to like here.
  Marble Launcher
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Here’s one of those games where you can tell the creator is just starting out making games. And that’s great! These sorts of endlessly complex, winding mazes are exactly the kind of levels I started making when I first got into game development when I was 16 or 17 years old. One could spend hours searching every nook and cranny in these levels, which is simultaneously awesome and exhausting. Thankfully, near as I can tell, nothing FORCES you to go exploring, so if you’d rather just finish the game, it’s easy enough to head straight for the goal. Gameplay is extremely simple, otherwise. You’re a marble, you can attack enemies by bouncing off of their heads, and you have a slam move. That’s it. You might think that with this being a marble game, you’d get real rolling ball physics, but all you get is simple platformer controls. They’re good enough, especially considering how esoteric the shape of the levels can get, but it’s hard not to be a little disappointed. Still, it’s not a bad little game for what it is. Controls a bit better than some of my earliest attempts at game development, too.
Thirty games total! That’s a lot of games to talk about. And there’s still more to come, so stay tuned for that.
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suspiriu-m · 4 years
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About Me
Hello! My name is Sal and welcome to my blog, Suspirium! Suspirium is a word that originates from one of my favorite movies, Luca Guadagnino’s 2019 remake of Dario Argento’s classic italian horror movie Suspiria. According to World of Dictionary, Suspirium is a Latin word meaning “Deep breath, sigh”. It’s also the title of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack to the movie produced by Thom Yorke of Radiohead. I’m a huge horror movie buff so expect to see a lot of that sort of content on my blog if I can incorporate it into any of my work. I chose this as the title of my blog because of how well the word fits into the movie, and I just love the way it sounds. Anybody who’s watched the movie will understand, but I won’t go into detail as to not spoil it for anybody who hasn’t yet seen it.
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Throughout my highschool years I technically went to two schools. My main and home school was Middletown High School, and my secondary school was Orange Ulster Boces in Florida New York. In high school I was always in media production and art classes. For example, photography, video editing, drawing & painting classes and my favorite was an Elements of Horror class I took my senior year. Horror being my favorite genre, I absolutely had to take a class that’s dove into the origins of classic horror novels, films and short stories. Leading to me finding my favorite classic horror story Dracula by Bram Stoker, and a multitude of stories by H.P. Lovecraft. Continuing on now to college i’m now majoring in Media Production while also still taking some classes in Marketing and Design! I really enjoy both a lot so it’s hard to kind of pick exactly which I want to do, but it’s nice knowing that no matter what path I finally choose I'll still have some experience in the other!
Aside from my education, I love to watch horror movies and read stories in my own free time. Movies in general are a huge hobby of mine and I watch at least 3-4 a week given I have the time. Some of my favaroties of all time concerning classics have got to be the Halloween series, The Evil Dead series and all four of the Scream movies. Other hobbies of mine that take up a huge part of my life and time are video games and music. I have a pretty big record collection that’s continuously growing with at least 80-90 albums and counting. I just recently purchased a few more to add being Sade’s Diamond Life, Whitney Houston’s Whitney and Whitney Houston albums, Lazaretto by Jack White, Texas Sun by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges and Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams. Hopefully my next additions will be What’s Your Pleasure? by Jessie Ware and The Baby by Samia. I’ve been collecting them for years, but especially now since even CD’s are starting to go out of style. I’m the kind of person who still likes to have physical copies of all my music and movies and games so having such big collection is super special to me.
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In terms of video games, I try and play as wide of a variety that I can because I believe I can find something I like in any genre. Strategy, shooters, brawlers, online competitive games etc, but I think my favorite style of game is single-player, narrative driven experiences. Most recently I played The Last of Us Part II and was absolutely enthralled with it. I loved the first game so much so getting a sequel was something I was extremely grateful for. I don’t think video games get enough credit for what they do for storytelling. TLOU 1 and 2 are some of my favorite stories that I have experienced in any form of media. The heartbreak, pain, love, fear and excitement those games have succeeded in giving me while just sitting in front of my TV is something no other form of entertainment has brought me. Some of the most touching moments, but also the most excruciating. They also had a queer women front and center throughout the games which is something that isn’t very common in video games so seeing that was really nice to me. Other than The Last of Us, some other solid narrative driven games I’ve played are God of War, Uncharted 1-4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, The Tomb Raider Reboots, Ghost of Tsushima, the Batman Arkham series and Control.
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Although story based games are my favorites that doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in my heart for some good old fashioned fun as well! I also really enjoy a lot of the Super Mario and Legend of Zelda games as well. My biggest pet peeve that I have with the gaming industry right now though is Fortnite. I think it’s literally the most annoying game ever created. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just to buy skins and weapon packs and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. The fact that I work at a major video game retailer and constantly have kids running through my store screaming about the damn game at least once a day could also contribute to my hatred. Either way, I want no part and absolutely nothing to do with it.
Going back to queer representation though. I recently watched Pose over the summer. Not only was the show heavily based during the AIDS epidemic in New York City, almost the entirety of the main cast was comprised of Transgender Black women. On prime time television! This is the first show to ever achieve such a feat. Not only was the cast extremely talented, I thought the writing and production of the show as a whole was brilliant. It definitely has its flaws and I could point out a few of them, but I believe all of the good of the show far outweighs the bad. It’s not afraid to tackle extremely real and difficult subjects the Transgender and Black communities have faced in this country and all over the world. It’s so important to see content like this on television as well because EVERYBODY deserves representation. Not only was the cast Trans, but one of the lead writers of the series Janet Mock is also a Black Trans woman! Pose was filled with heartfelt moments that truly had me sobbing in my bed as I watched. I think I actually cried at pretty much every single episode for both seasons. The cast is brilliant, the realism and talent and star power they bring to the show is like nothing that I’ve ever seen before and I’m so glad to be able to see them up on my television. I so badly one day hope that I can be behind the scenes of producing a show of this caliber some day.
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While I have yet to help in the production of a show like this, I have had my fair share of of making short films, music videos and even assisting on a friend of mine’s first full length movie that he submitted to festivals. Last year, I had the opportunity to shoot a short horror film with my classmates for our final project. The film was based around a young woman getting trapped at her school in the middle of a blizzard, and slowly beginning to realize that she may not be alone. In a fight for her life, she has to survive till morning while going up against a mysterious killer who lurks the halls of her small town college. Sadly, we didn’t have enough time to produce a full and finalized cut of the film but coming together and working with a few other classmates was still a really fun experience. Not only was I able to play the role of the killer, I aided in audio, music selection, location scouting, props department, shot planning and writing the movie and it was a great time. I also had the pleasure of helping out my friend Matt Vincini in shooting his short film The Cattle Farmer. A horror/thriller film about a boy who is adopted into a family, only to realize that his life might have been planned from the start. It featured a mysterious woodland family who may or may not have had cannibalistic tendencies that included their adopted children. It was a super cool experience to be on a set with a bunch of actors and seeing my friend in action in the role of director. Collaborating on projects like this with friends is always a fun time, even it does get stressful at some points. At one point in the film, one of the characters realizes that the dinner he is currently eating could quite possible be his last meal ever. Which kinda let me to thinking what my last meal would be. After some thinking, I think i’d definitely have to choose my families homemade pasta and meatballs. I know, pretty stereotypical for an Italian family but it’s just so good. We make our own sauce every september and it’s a huge family event. Everybody comes together and one of our houses and it’s literally a whole days worth of work. The best part? At the end of the night, we all have a huge feast and make pasta and meatballs with all of the sauce we just made. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my family and always one of my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious, but also sentimental.
This is all for now! Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading a little bit about me. I could probably keep rambling on for hours but I don’t think that’s the smartest idea. I can’t wait to fill this blog with more content this year and hope to hear from you guys as well! Until then, i’ll be watching more movies and DEFINITELY playing some more games. At this point i’ve been playing the new Marvel’s Avengers video game so, let me get back to kicking some AIM ass!
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arysthaeniru · 4 years
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✨ and 💢 for botw!!
✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?
I’m constantly intrigued by the themes of legacy and growth that happen over and over again in Breath of the Wild? The main storyline is filled with themes of legacy, especially since all the Champions (except Teba, because the Rito are woefully incomplete as a section) are in the shadow of the former, dead Champions, and a lot of their story is coming to meet the weight of the past that has marked itself physically into the landscape? Rising to meet the memories and idolizations of martyrs and dead people. That’s basically one of the main basis of my research project as a PhD student: the weight of memory in people, but especially how it manifests in physical locations.
I also think that Link having amnesia is such a fascinating look at legacy of the self. I often feel overwhelmed by the expectations my past self had for me, and of course, Link’s journey is different. He’s literally forgotten who he was before, but I feel like a different person every year, and living up to the weight of your past failures is both daunting and freeing all at once, and Link is a fabulous little exploration of that? I constantly think about the joyless, stern Link we see in the flashbacks, and the stupidity of being the player and trying to find joy in the present? It’s a silliness that comes from knowing failure, and that’s fascinating to me.
It’s also just such a soothing, calming world to explore and filled with little secrets and funny NPCs. The music design is wonderful and minimal, and the scenery is consistently pretty. There’s something very beautiful about the world after the apocalypse in Breath of the Wild, and finding life in the ruins and making something new, just because you must, is such a theme that’s near-and-dear to my heart (which is why Diurnal Ending constantly makes me weep.) 
I find the korok secrets some of the most delightful little motivational goals? In terms of game design, the shots of dopamine come frequently and are usually quite fun to wrangle into place, but unlike other collect-a-thon games, the korok seeds are actually useful for later gameplay. It’s a masterpiece not only of world design in general, but game design too. 
The awe of coming across a dragon for the first time is like nothing else. The whole thing you do on Mount Lanayru is a genuinely breathtaking sequence.  
💢 what do you NOT like about your hyperfixation? is there something you would want to change about it?
As they always do in Zelda games, the Gerudo have...weird, almost racist undertones to everything about them. Their outfits are stupid and overly horny, and the whole sequence of Link finding a disguise to get in is dealing with some BAD trans stuff. The fandom has done their best to make Link chill or make it better by making Link non-binary or trans! But it doesn’t change the fact that the person he gets his Gerudo clothing from,Vilia, is a bad trans stereotype. I also think about the fact that every Gerudo you meet who’s looking for love is actually deeply unsatisfied with whoever they find is awful? It’s get that it’s supposed to be funny, but it’s a weird message about settling that’s only applied to the brown women. Even though I LOVE the two main characters we get, Urbosa and Riju, the rest of it is...questionable. 
In terms of bigger structural problems, I think Breath of the Wild’s main plot is....barebones at best? The Rito and the Gorons are not really fleshed out at all. The Rito especially have been shafted, since you end up knowing NOTHING about the current-day champion, Teba, and his problems. You do nothing in the Rito area in the build-up to fighting the Divine Beast, like you do in the other regions. It’s just often very rote and dull when you get to the plot, which is...sad? It means you just want to get the main plot stuff over with, so you can go back to the good gameplay and world design in the rest of it. 
And even when they try very hard with plot, the Zora area is FILLED with boring, stupid dialogue that’s horribly telegraphed? At one point, one of the old Zora that hates you, Muzu, points out that it’s deeply convenient you get back your memories of fish-wife being in love with you when you’re trying to get him to help you with your mission, and I have to say, I 200% agreed with him! My god. None of the Zora section makes sense! They’re very old and stuck in their ways, everybody there hates Hylians, they can breathe in the water and in the air, because they’re amphibians. Why the FUCK do the Zora care about the dam breaking and the Divine Beast flooding Necluda? The only one that should care should be Sidon, and it should be you and Sidon doing your own thing against the express wishes of the rest of the Zora council. That would contribute to the theme of growing to meet the legacy of the Past Champions: doing the right thing even when it’s hard. This is not a difficult thing to realize, but it’s very clear that the development team did not care very much about the plot of this game. 
I think the memories are repetitive and kind of dull too, and if you think about it too long, make absolutely no sense. How the hell did Zelda take a picture of Kara Kara Bazaar that’s completely empty, it seems to be a bustling world in her time too? When did she have time to take a beautifully serene picture of the Bottomless Swamp as they were running for their lives from the Calamity? Why does Impa seem to pretend that these were carefully selected memories that Zelda left for you, instead of random pictures left over from before that might jog your memories? If Zelda knew you were going to have amnesia after your time of slumber, why the hell is everybody else surprised by it???? 
This game is not perfect by any means. But what it does right, it does INCREDIBLY right, so I just seethe about these things I hate, and try to write fic to fix it xD 
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