#fundy incorrect quotes

[almostdeath]

Fundy and Tubbo while on the backseat, chanting: McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's!

Schlatt: We have fucking food at home! Quackity, tell them.

Quackity: ...McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's!

Schlatt: Can't believe that you are my husband.

Quackity, pointing at his ring: But you are~

[tang0w0tek]

*Serious Post*

TWs: Abuse

As some may remember, this used to be a Dream SMP blog. I was a fan of it, as well as a fan of Wilbur's. I found him after watching Tommy and Fundy and yes, I liked his content and songs. Once Lovejoy was made I enjoyed their songs too (Call Me What You Like is still stuck in my head unfortunately).

Now I'm not really into DSMP anymore, although I do read fanfic from it. I haven't personally watched Wilbur in a long time, yet I did enjoy SBI-centric fics. Wilbur's content was a big part of my journey into MCYT and I have to admit that.

However, due to the recent news, I am no longer supporting him. I was never a subscriber to his Twitch but did follow, and have since unfollowed him on Twitch. I unsubbed to him on YouTube. I removed the four Lovejoy songs from my Liked Songs on Spotify. I'm gonna unsub from his Ao3 too (I forgot about it until now and so haven't yet).

Domestic abuse is never okay, and Wilbur's apology really did read to be only about himself. I am glad he's getting therapy, though, if that really is true.

Fuck you, Wilbur. I hope you can one day see exactly why what you did was wrong, and that if possible, change and apologise for real.

Support Shelby.

[various-incorrect-nonsense]

Quackity: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Fundy: Why? It was important.

Quackity: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Purpled, shrugging: The people need to know.

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Kotaro: Floor soup is on the menu again tonight, fellas!"

Ai, dragging her spoon across the floor: "I hate this fucking house. Why do we let him cook."

[trashland-llamas]

Puffy; Dream’s remarkably durable, and I think it’s because if he broke a leg, we’d have to put him down and the devil will not take him back.

Sam; you belong in federal prison

— — —

Sapnap; the flame calls to me, not by its warmth or its pumpkin spiced aroma, but by its desire for calamity and destruction.

— — —

Eret; See, I know something children don’t.

Wilbur; And what’s that?

Eret; Well, no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.

— — —

Schlatt; I’m abusing my body like an altar boy lately, my cholesterol is rising like Jesus. I’m gaining weight like I’m on birth control and I’m gobbling food like Augustus Galloop. I can’t stop.

— — —

Tommy; Why did you kill Wilbur, Niki?

Philza; Innit

Tommy; Well, she already admitted to the murder Mr. Minecraft

Philza; Actually I believe she asked ‘who do you think killed him?’ It’s an ambiguous question.

Niki; No, I killed him. I did it, because he broke a promise to me.

Philza; The promise to stay with you?

Niki; He tossed me a couple hundred bucks and told me he was going to Utah, that we wouldn’t see each other anymore

Tommy; What’d you do?

Niki; I detonated the final control room, it was kinda an accident right? What do you call it, a crime of passion?

Philza; You detonated the final control room?

Niki; Yes

Philza; And he was conscious at the time?

Niki; Yea, he screamed okay?

Tommy; What then?

Niki; I ran away

Philza; No, Niki, you didn’t

— — —

Tina; What if I just dropped out to be a stripper?

Hannah; Do you have the body confidence for that?

Tina; *shakes head no*

Hannah; Stay in school

Tina; Okay

— — —

Techno in court; I never kicked a baby and I didn’t shoot Obama. And I’ve never committed arson, never once, not at all. And I’ve never committed tax fraud and I’ve never escape prison and I’ve never been to Boston in the fall.

— — —

Wilbur; This is a private matter

Fundy; Dream stays

Wilbur; This is family

Fundy; That’s why he stays!

— — —

Tubbo to Aimsey; Word of advice, don’t doubt my ability to burn a bridge while standing on it

— — —

Ponks; You’re in pain! I can tell by what you’re saying…

Schlatt; My bad. I forgot you were fragile.

Techno; I forgot someone who doesn’t even know me told you I’m an asshole.

Dream; I forgot that I’m the villain.

Niki; I forgot I always spread positivity but you think I didn’t.

Tommy; I forgot that hatred stems from people who hate their own existence.

Quackity; I forgot I’m better off alone.

Puffy; I forgot I cared for everyone’s happiness but forgot about my own.

— — —

Boomer; How?!

Hannah; Magic

Purpled; Bullshit

[lunar-lover-writes15]

Nikki: “Is...is that Wilbur?”

Fundy: “God, I fucking hope not, my therapy appointments are already expensive enough as it is. I really don’t need any more reasons to book additional sessions.”

Nikki: “...Pretend we didn’t see anything?”

Fundy: “Pretend we didn’t see anything.”

[cas-kaz]

Foolish:You know those things will kill you, right?

Eret, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Techno, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Fundy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

[christelightlavo]

Fundy : We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Tommy : Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Fundy : Not when you’re playing with Wilbur, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

(Some incorrect quotes specifically for my dsmp superpower AU)

(Edit: half of the quotes, starting from the 'With great power' one, are from ScatterPatter's Incorrect Quotes Generator!)

-

Purpled: You don't know anything about me!

Niki, who copied Puffy's power and read Purpled's mind, PLUS literally just caught him with a sniper rifle: I know everything about you. You are an open book written for VERY dumb children.

-

Tubbo: How did you find me?

Technoblade, salty he had to leave his library job early to clean up after him: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered, Now who could that be?

-

Quackity: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?

Charlie, cheerfully: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.

-

Niki, running on caffeine and three hours of sleep, slightly vibrating, feral look in her eyes: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go apesh!t?

-

Skeppy: So what's it like being Purpled's sibling?

Punz: Once I asked him for a glass of water while he was mad at me, and he brought me a glass of ice and said "wait".

-

Ant, who just got back from stabbing another hero: Today is a great day.

Foolish, a hero: Hi!

Ant: My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

-

Puffy: I'm not mad, just tell me why you had fake IDs.

Clingyduo: *incoherent mumbling*

Puffy: I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Clingy: You have to be over 18 to hold the puppies at Petco...

Puffy:

-

(When Purpled is 9)

Punz: Why would you give Purpled a knife?!

Skeppy: He felt unsafe.

Punz: Now I feel unsafe!

Skeppy: I'm sorry.

Skeppy: ...Would you like a knife?

-

Purpled, about Tommy: Excuse me sir, that is my emotional support annoying gremlin child with no sense of self-preservation and much trauma.

-

Niki, about Fundy and Jack: Excuse me sir, those are my emotional support overworked & stressed pathetic loserguys.

-

Karl, walking into the kitchen: Babe, is something burning?

Sapnap, leaning against the kitchen counter: Just my burning love for you~ (•3<) <3

Karl: Sap, the toaster is on fire.

-

Eret: Why are you on the floor?

Foolish: I'm overworked and stressed out of my mind.

Foolish: Also I was stabbed, can you get my dad please?

-

Phil: Help me with this crossword puzzle, I need a 6-letter word for "severely lacking in communication skills even while owning a glib tongue and generally amiable demeanor".

Techno: "Wilbur".

Wilbur:

Phil: It fits!

-

George: You're under arrest for attempting to carry five people on a single motorcycle.

Tubbo: Wait.

Eryn: FIVE?!

Purpled, completely deadpan: Tommy fell off.

Glowduo: OH MY GOD, TOMMY FELL OFF.

-

Everyone, to Quackity: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.

-

Tubbo, carrying a large box: What would you say if I came home with a boxful of vigilante gadget-worthy scrap metal one day?

Alliumduo: ...What's in the box.

Alliumduo: What's in the box Tubbo.

Tubbo: I think you know.

-

Eret: Michael McChill asked me if there was even a remote possibility there's a mole feeding the villain Silver Tongue inside information, and I said "No".

Eret: You know, like a liar.

-

Tina: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

Tina: And this knife I found!

-

George: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

-

Eret: If you can't beat them, dress better than them.

-

Both Ranboo and Fundy, at some point: Turns out the bad vibes I was feeling were actually extreme psychological distress.

-

Schlatt: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

-

Fundy: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

-

Ponk: I'm gonna need a human skull, and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Kristin: Only if you also don't ask why.

Kristin: (Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls)

Kristin: Take your pick.

Ponk:

Kristin:

Ponk: This one is fine.

-

[Part 2] [Part 3]

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

on a scale of 1-10 how accurate is Purpled's part in this incorrect quote?

Fundy: If Dogwood and I were drowning, who would you save? Purpled: You two can’t swim? Fundy: It’s a hypothetical question, Purpled! Who would you save? Purpled: My time and effort.

I’d say a solid 8

[autistic-fandom-trash]

Las Nevadas crew incorrect quotes: properly formatted edition

Fundy: Hewwo.

Foolish: Hiiiii!

Charlie: Greetings, humans.

Quackity: There are three kinds of people.

Sam: I want coffee.

Q: Four kinds of people.

Purpled: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?

Q: Five kinds of people.

-----

Q, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Purpled: Hey.

Fundy: Hi.

Sam: Hello.

Foolish: Hey!

Q: I gave you the keys for emergencies only.

Charlie: We were out of Doritos.

-----

Q: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Purpled: Okay, but what is updog?

Charlie: Updog is a sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Fundy: No, that's a hot dog. Updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Sam: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Foolish: No, that's Uppsala. Updog is the giant spider in harry potter.

Q: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrary small number in analysis proofs.

Sam: You're thinking of elipson. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Fundy: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Purpled: What's a henway?

Fundy: Oh, about five pounds.

-----

Q: *Posts an extremely low-quality image to the group chat*

Purpled: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 5 cents.

Q: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt after I read this text, I'd have enough money to buy a cannon and fire it at you.

Fundy: Actually I did the math, Purpled would have $225, not $0.15.

Purpled: Fam I'm right here...

Charlie: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :D

Q: Can you buy me an apply juice while you're there please?

Charlie: Sorry I only have a dollar.

Q: :(

Sam: Purpled would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.

Charlie: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.

Fundy: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.

Q: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice.

Foolish: Apply juice to what?

Charlie: Directly to the forehead.

Purpled: Great chat everyone /s

-----

Q: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Charlie: What if it bites me and it dies?

Q: You're poisonous.

Foolish: What if it bites itself and i die?

Q: That's voodoo.

Sam: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Q: That's correlation, not causation.

Purpled: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Q: That's kinky.

Fundy: Oh my god.

[tang0w0tek]

more incorrect quotes in one post because yes

Dream: Some people are like slinkies. Sapnap: Explain Dream: Not really good for much but makes you crack a smile when you push it down the stairs. Sapnap: Please do not push Tommy down the stairs. Dream: You can't stop me. ------ Tommy, holding a bowl of cereal in one hand and a coffee pot in the other: What if instead of milk in my cereal, I put coffee. Wilbur, walking past him and taking the coffee pot: What if you didn't. ------ Tommy: Bitches be like "I'm baby" but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do you know about being baby you were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I'm bitches. ------ Tommy, trying to be genuine: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Tubbo: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Tommy: Yes! Fundy: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you. ------- Phil: WHY. Why did you give Wilbur a KNIFE?! Techno: I'm sorry. He said he felt unsafe. Phil: Now I feel unsafe. Techno: I'm sorry. Techno: ...Would you like a knife? -------- CC!Dream: Who are you? C!Dream: I'm you, but with a body count ------- Wilbur: Must be hard not being able to laugh. Quackity: I do have a sense of humor, you know. Wilbur: I've never heard you laugh before. Quackity: I've never heard you say anything funny. ------- Sam: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Tommy: Oh, I'm always running. Tommy: The question is from what. -------- Wilbur: If Tommy and I were drowning, who would you save? Tubbo: You two can't swim? Wilbur: It's a hypothetical question, Tubbo! Who would you save? Tubbo: My time and effort.

[various-incorrect-nonsense]

Purpled, grinning: Before you were what?

Quackity: Before I was-

Purpled: What?

Quackity: Before I was inter-

Purpled: Before you were interrupted?

Quackity: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll-

Purpled: What?

Quackity: *makes frustrated sound*

Fundy, nervously: Stop that. Before he hurts you.

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Kotaro: "Do you know how many bones the human body has? It's 206. We start with 369 when we're babies but they fuse. Wouldn't you want to go back? Have as many bones as a baby? What if I could help you?"

Ai: "Hi, yeah. What the actual, literal, GENUINE fuck does this mean?"

[marsbar19]

incorrect Las Nevadas quotes because I miss them pt 32/42

Charlie: What's your biggest fear?

Fundy: Being forgotten.

Charlie: Damn that's deep.

Charlie: Mine is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

[lunar-lover-writes15]

Niki: “Did you really think this was going to work?”

Fundy: “Nah, figured it could result in a funny story though, even if it didn’t.”