#funny enough!! the sunset city aesthetic is like. MY ENTIRE AESTHETIC!!!!!

[demizorua]

ok this first one is so weird but I associate this very specific aesthetic w you that I can only describe as like. a city at sunset. this 🌆. like the dusky colours and lights and the weird half bustle half serenity of it all. besides that there’s obviously zoruas but also like. joltik, dragonair, the zubat line, anything to do with half life, the bass, animal crossing and dense forests and little streams with bugs and fish in em. snufkin and just moomins in general. and lastly all of these emojis lol 🦇🐛🦋🦎🌱 :)

WAHHH... MY BESTIE... LAUR ILY

[neocity-sarai]

The Last of Us

✧ main concept: divergent au! (inspired by the divergent novel by Veronica Roth)

✧ pairing: lee jeno x reader

✧ alerts: mentions of death, blood, violence, suggestive, sexual implications, cursing, mentions of other nct members, longer than I anticipated

✧ song reference: “hurricane” by fleurie

Society is a complex concept. It’s this mind-twisting thing to question who gets to live where, who gains freedom- who gets a choice. Categories. Categories of people: they get to choose where you belong like they’ve already wrapped your entire existence in chain links. In Chicago, we’re deemed by another word for categories, something called the faction system. The first is Abnegation- the selfless souls and the ones who actually care about what goes on around them. On the total opposite end is Erudite. Erudite’s full of big-brained people or so they claim, I have yet to interact with many Erudite-ties. Amity is my favorite one if I had to pick, they’re like the neutralizing acid to the fire and ice of the factions. All they do is farm the food and give each other extra cookies when a new neighbor moves to their section- no harm done. Candor seems like the most intimidating because of their snappy mouths and their inabilities to lie if your dress looks ugly. My dad tells me they’re difficult to negotiate with. The last but not least is Dauntless. The faction with the scary- absolutely mental kids who jump off moving trains and through knives around like they’re frisbees. Yet, there’s something so exhilarating, so free about them. On the day of my choosing ceremony, my nerves raced like a million circuits sparking through my veins. Dad gave me a knowing look, his eyes are hardened and stiff while he clutches mom’s sweaty palm. I have always been Abnegation born. My blood pumps to the beat of my family’s simple, slow-paced life. Our clothes have always been a shade of faded grey: the color of the clouds before they tease a rainstorm. The minimalism of our plain walls, my mother’s sleek bun, and my bedroom have always kept me comfortable all this time. Why do I find myself yearning for more?- I'm greedy for the taste of adventurous anticipation. Shouldn’t I just stick to what I know? What I’m used to? 

My heart practically stops when I see my brother slit his calloused palm open as crimson blood drips to the stillness of the water, the drop rippling the serenity of it. To my right, I hear my mom choke on her breath while she continuously flicks her head back from my brother to my father. The creases on his face deepen, his mouth folding into a dipped frown. “Erudite.” Reflective tears begin to roll down mom’s face, her other hand covering her mouth in efforts to suppress her sobs.

“Y/N. L/N.”

The emotionless woman’s voice catches me off guard. I feel my muscles locking together. My hands getting progressively clammy that even my mother’s fingers can’t calm the bump of my knee. I huff out a shaky breath. I don’t even realize that my knees are carrying me down towards the stage as the tall woman guides me to the table at the center of it. The room feels like it’s spinning out of control, how have I not thrown up yet? Like a puppet master entwining the strings, my split hand hovers over the bowl of silver flintstones. I watch the shiny, scarlet liquid trickle down in slow motion- each second ticking in a time bomb. The thought of jolting my hand towards the bowl of sizzling, asphalt coals makes me shudder. The woman eyes me with utter impatience. I squeeze my eyes shut while I mentally count down from three, as if that would urge me to make a last-minute decision. It works. “Dauntless.”

The cheers that vibrate behind me of deafening, the auditorium shakes from the constant tremble of the stomps. The classic, recognizable, dauntless hoot is like a call of a wolf pack, a mantra that beckons the beauty of danger. I feel several hands slap the fabric of my dress on my back, I don’t even want to glance up to see my parents’ faces. Instead, I shuffle with the rest of the people dressed in black outfits as I accidentally catch my mother’s desperate eyes from the side aisle. 

I can’t believe I just did that. I went against everything I’ve been taught, everything I’ve ever really stood for. Why does it feel so good? Unfamiliar faces grin at me as they launch themselves up tall, rust-covered beams, climbing the heights like excited monkeys. When they reach the top, they run forward like a line of stallions, waiting to seize that perfect moment. A bullet train whooshes past my nose by a hair as it’s rickety cars trail behind it. “Let’s go!” screams a boy. Freezing in my spot, the wind threatens to knock me off my feet and onto the ground below the railings. A girl next to me motions at me with her finger, “What the hell are you waiting for?”I digest her words before I take off behind her- gaining on the speeding train. I was never built for this. I wasn’t ever built to run this hard, to run this fast. Everything blurs past me in a tornado of city buildings, tiny people, and ribbons of sunset lighting. Looking ahead of me, the railing is about to end and I don’t have much time left. The same girl sticks her head out the train opening, “Hurry the hell up! Hurry!”

I scream with a burn in my lungs, my legs launching my body into the narrow space. I land on a funny part of my shoulder as my body rolls and rolls- someone’s leg halting my tumble. My dress is wrapped around my thighs, my hair sticks my lips in a mess. “Whoa, going somewhere?” I whip my hair out of my face, a boy removing his foot from the side of my shoulder while all the other dauntless members chuckle by his comment. He’s not at all what I’d expect to see when I sit up. He’s a taller-framed boy who’s dressed in a navy-black outfit and a carved face that could be sculpted from a roman statue. His hair is a pure obsidian shade, one that’s darker than the finest ink in my brother’s fountain-pen collection. His jaw juts out in an aesthetic manner, his bangs curling on one side of his forehead while he pushes his tongue against the side of his cheek, “I don’t remember the last time the leaders cleaned the floor of this train, you might want to stand.” I stutter before standing up way too fast as vertigo washes over my brain in interval waves. I dust myself off, feeling the grime on the tips of my fingers. I nod at him, “Uh, thanks for stopping me?” 

He laughs as his midnight eyes crinkle into slim crescents, his white teeth gleaming brighter than the gold ball that hangs on the edge of the streaky sky. He runs a gloved hand through his damp, dark locks, “You’re going to deal with a lot more than getting yourself soiled on a sooty train.” Nodding, I look around to see the other initiates glaring back at our conversation, their eyes unfazed when I catch them. I awkwardly shift towards the tall boy, his height towering over me. His eyes, framed by thick, dark lashes side-eye me, “You’ll get a hang of it though. Welcome to Dauntless.”

Right. I’m dauntless now. When the train bangs into some obstacle with a ear-shattering boom, I have to grab the frames of the windows for support so I don’t accidentally pummel the boy to the ground. He breezes past me as he steps off the platform as if our conversation had all been in my imagination. “Everyone, gather around!” All the initiates follow suit, gathering around a boy dressed in a thicker, leather jacket and matching pants. He’s a bit shorter than the raven-haired boy yet his build seems almost similar. Glittering gold rings litter the edges of his ear cartilage, his lips red like his hair, and eyes that could swallow your soul. He claps his hands in the air, “My name is Taeyong. I will be your head instructor responsible for your training. My vice is this idiot here- Jeno.” Jeno headlocks Taeyong hastily, scraping his fingernails against the top of Taeyong’s flaming hairs, “Hyung, you’re just as much of an idiot as I am.” Taeyong pushes the younger back with immense force- enough force for Jeno to step back, hands raised in mock surrender. Once Taeyong clears his throat, he stiffens, “Okay, first order of business. Let’s get to where we need to be.” Taeyong shuffles backwards, lifting himself until he stands on a short ledge. The other initiates gasp, their jaws dropped in shock. Taeyong smirks, “See you on the other side. Jeno, don’t be late.”

Taeyong falls back in a t-position, his eyes closing with relief as he plummets down into the shadowy void beneath him. “Wait!” a girl screams, lurching over the ledge to watch Taeyong disappear as his laugh echoes from the chasm. Jeno shakes his head, a small smile gracing his thin lips, “That sucker.” His eyes snap into realization, irises gleaming with amusement, “So, who wants to go first?” I subconsciously find myself backing away from the spot where Jeno is standing, my skin feels cold from the sudden wind that whips around us all. He points at me with a determined finger, his black glove hugging his knuckles, “You. Armadillo on the train, you’re up.”The blonde girl next to me cackles at the name, her snorts come out in an irritating sound. His joke wasn’t that hilarious. I slowly slip through the people, Jeno taking my hand to help me up on the ledge. I jolt at his sudden contact, “Relax. You’re wearing heels, just making sure you don’t land on your arms.” I swish his hand away, spreading my legs apart for grasping balance. This is absolutely insanity. Squinting into the void, it looks like I’m about to descend into a black hole never to be seen again. An extremely short boy shouts impatiently, “We don’t have all day! It’ll be my 50th birthday in 2 seconds!” 

Shaking off their laughs, I concentrate on the syncopation of my heart. I can do this. I just need to breathe. I suck in the air that’s tinted with a smoky note, heaving it into the body of my lungs. Let go. I’m falling. I scream when my dress flies up uncontrollably, my hands fumbling to keep it down. My hairs whip my cheek painfully as the stinging sensation covers my skin. Unh. My back hits the rubber of a puffed inflatable. I feel the dips in water-proof latex beneath me. I’m rolling again, my hands reaching out for purchase. Like a flash, my body is submerged in ice cold water that flows into the heat pockets of my clothing. When I swim up for air, I notice a large, circular pool bed that’s floating on azure-tinted water. It’s a cave. The walls are thick with granite. Some rocky spikes stick out on the rims of the hole, water dripping from the tips. I hear a shout, “Incoming!!” Jeno lands on his back, his figure scrambling into the blanket of water as he grabs hold of my waist. He splashes around, waves colliding with my face, “Jeno, stop flailing!”

He pauses, staring back at me, “Wait a minute, you’re not drowning?”

I raise my eyebrow, “Does it look like I am?”

He purses his lips, hair matted over his eyes slightly, “Well. I can say no now. It seems. I heard a scream and thought you were..”

I shake my head, “No, I just fell in, that’s all.”

“Oh.”

We pause for a moment before Jeno guides me to the concrete floor that extends a few feet away from the inflatable platform before extending his hand to me. I take it, my dress dragging in a wet, soggy mess. Before looking up, Jeno exclaims, covering his eyes, “Shoot!”

“What?! What?!” I scream.

Jeno motions at me with his finger, “You- you’re- your dress..”

I look down at my dress, “What’s wrong with my dre-”

Not only has the fabric of my dress soaked through, my chest was obviously transparent. My cheeks heat up in embarrassment, trying my best to cover up with the folds of soggy fabric, “Jeno, don’t look!”

Jeno’s eyes are squinted so hard, “I won’t! I’m not!”

Taeyong’s voice booms in the cave, “What’s going on here?”

I wave a cautious arm in the air, swiveling around out of Taeyong’s view. He screams beside Jeno, “What’s taking so long? Why are you down here?”

Jeno’s words come out in an undecipherable line, “I--well you see, I heard a yell and I thought she was drowning and well, I saw her scream and well- other initiatives are still up top..”

Without having to turn around, I mentally see Taeyong rolling his eyes, socking Jeno with a punch, “Must I do everything myself?”

I hear him advance closer to me, “Why are you turned around?”

I flail my limbs as hard as I can, “I’m indecent! Don’t come any closer!”

Taeyong pauses his footsteps before he cooly says, “Jeno, get her changed while I get the rest of the initiates. We start orientation soon, we’re already behind schedule. I’m not about to be lectured by Yuta.”

Taeyong walks off to the side of the cave, opening a plain metal door in the process. Jeno huffs, “Okay, you’re going to have to follow me. I promise I won’t turn around.”

I scurry to him, my back still facing him, “You’re sure?”

“You can count on it.”

When I finally swish around, I notice the undercut line of Jeno’s hair and a thin, black swirl that extends around the back of his ear to his back. Tattoos are also a signature dauntless thing. I shouldn’t be surprised. Jeno marches quickly ahead of me, “You know, your tumbling is getting you into trouble. You really are an armadillo at heart.”

I scoff, holding myself back from knocking him in the shoulder blade, “Can you stop calling me that? I have a name, genius.”

Jeno smirks, “Oh really? What might that be?”

“Y/N. Don’t wear it out.”

Jeno coughs lowly, “I think I like armadillo better. But, I guess I could alternate.”

“Don’t call me that period.”

“Geez, don’t let the cold water turn your heart to ice.”

Finally, Jeno pulls out a ring of spiky keys. He turns one into a locked closet that houses multiple shelves of black uniforms: black sweatshirts, jogging pants, and black combat boots in every size. “What’s your size?”

“Medium and shoe size is 7.”

Jeno nods, perusing through the racks, “Coming right up, Y/N.”

Once he’s done, he sets a pile of clothes and a pair of boots on a short table, “You can change here. Come out of the closet when you’re done.”

I do as he says, slipping off the soggy mess of my dress off my ankles. Once I put the whole outfit on, I realize that I don’t look like myself in the mirror. So different from back home. So different from just yesterday. I tie my sticky hair into a thick braid, my mother’s hair-tie holding it together. “I’m ready.”

When I step out, I get a once-over from Jeno, “Black suits you better than that drab grey. How’d you wear that every day?”

“I didn’t mind much because all of abnegation is like that.”

He tsks his tongue, “Well, you won’t have to anymore.”

The walk back to the rest of the initiates is silent as Jeno guides me through a series of hallways and cave corridors before reaching a spacious room, “Hyung, we’re good to go.”

All the other kids are already dressed in uniform, the girls glaring at from where they stand- their eyes filled with envy. Is it because I came in with Jeno?

Taeyong shakes his head disappointingly, “We’ve managed to catch up. Let’s start the basics.”

As Taeyong paces back and forth on a small platform, he teaches us all about Dauntless rules. He discusses dauntless values like they’re his sworn religion since birth. He beats his curled fist onto his chest with determination, enunciating all the pillars that uphold the faction itself. He lists the leaders: Yuta, Johnny, him, Jaehyun, Mark, and someone named Jaegger. Once he’s done, Jeno rises from the chair he was sitting in, “How about we get started with some action?”

Taeyong holds a palm at him, “Hold on. I have to call Jaegger. He wants to supervise.”

Jeno groans, “That guy again?”

Taeyong nods sternly, “You know the rules.”

Taeyong hadn’t explained who Jaegger was yet. Within several seconds, a burly man busts through the metal door, his entire bald head detailed with inked markings. He’s got spikes sticking out of his ears and by the rims of his eyebrows- he looks like a villain straight out of a street gang. His icy, blue eyes dart with hysteria, “Let’s get it done.”

Taeyong nods, “I need two volunteers.”

Among the group, the blonde girl who had stood next to me before shoots her arm up instantly as she flips her hair onto one side. Besides her, no one else volunteers. They stare around each other or look down to the ground, avoiding all forms of eye contact. I accidentally look up because I don’t expect Taeyong to be in my line of sight. He flicks his fingers at me, “You. The one who messed up during the first jump. Try it out.”

Jeno intervenes, “Hyung, she just got into warm clothes- I don’t think she should-”

Taeyong glares back at the taller boy, “Hush, Jeno. I’ve made my decision.”

Jeno closes his mouth, shaking his head in refusal. Everyone in the group parts away from me like a drop of oil in a puddle of water, this singling-out thing is not doing good for me. The blonde girl follows me on to the platform ring that Taeyong and Jeno step off of. I look at her. She looks at me. We glance at Taeyong but instead, Jaegger speaks. He rubs a hand across his polished, bald head, “Rules are simple. This is a combat exercise. Go at it until one of you can’t stand.”

I stare back at him wide-eyed only to see Taeyong crossing his arms beside Jaegger and Jeno looking like he wants to say something. He doesn’t though. Jaegger raises an eyebrow with a scar slashed on it, “Well?”

I look back at the blonde girl and she’s got a sinister grin smashed on her face, “Well, this should be fun.”

Thinking back on the conditions, blondie is built thicker than me, she’s got more muscle, and she’s got huge hands. In this situation, how can I win? Defensively, she raises her fists in front of her as she toes around me. Occasionally, she’ll flip hair out of her face before she skips forward to swing at me. I miss it by a little bit of room, her eyes angry with frustration. Jaegger coughs dramatically, “Stop being idiots and commence already. I don’t have time for bullshit.”

 I’m too focused on Jaegger’s words to realize that blondie’s already coming at me in one swift motion- her first hitting square on the high point of my nose. I taste rusty iron like I’ve licked a bucket of old nails. Blood seeps from my nose on to my lip, I swipe the red stream with my sleeve. My best bet is to catch her by surprise when she’s not expecting it. Lunging for her torso, I try tackling her the hardest I can muster only for her to jab her elbow into my spine. Feeling myself hit the hard platform not only feels like excruciating pain but also feels like sheer disappointment. I can’t give up so easily. I rise from my fall, my back hunched and limbs swinging at awkward angles as I try to take her down once again. Instead, she wraps her bulky arms around my waist as she practically throws me to the copper outline of the ring. I see swirling stars, the room getting sucked into a dizzying oblivion of shadows. My breath is sucked out of me, my legs unable to move from the instant paralysis. When I wake up in a few hours, searing pain throbs at the corner of my brow. A rosy bruise blossoms on the bone, purple marks littering my chin and cheek. Ow. It’s only the first day and I’ve already landed myself in the infirmary. The only pleasing thing about it is that the room is lit with melancholy lavender-colored lights- the purple glow making me feel like I’m in some type of euphoric fever dream. A girl lays awake in the gurney bed next to be, her eyes shot up at the ceiling. She’s thinner than me, freckles dot her face in clusters. Her orangey hair is tied in a messy ponytail. “Oh, you’re awake.” she says.

I nod, “Do you know how long I’ve been out?”

She turns her head to me, revealing a sickly-looking gash on the side of her cheek, “A few hours. I just woke a bit before you. Your snoring was super loud.”

Opening my mouth, I try to think of what to say. I can’t. I muse, “What happened to you?”

She smiles, her lips upturned at the corners, “We’re in the same batch. After your fight with Marlene, Jaegger made me fight too. Obviously, I didn’t win.”

There’s some sort of innocent nativity that I sense in her, it’s almost adorable. She shifts on her side with a wince, “I should also probably tell you that Jaegger told us about the point dock system.”

“Point dock?”

She nods, placing a stray hair behind her ear, “Yeah. He said, ‘if we believe you don’t make the cut, you’re out. Out of dauntless. Out of your old faction. You’ll be left to the factionless..’ and then after, the whole class went silent.”

My mouth drops into a square, “What? Out for good? They can do that?”

She slaps her hand onto her forehead, “Apparently so. You and I are so screwed.”

I nod, “How do you know if you don’t make the cut?”

She replies, “Oh, Jaegger said they’ll make it crystal clear.”

I close my mouth, making the conversation evaporate between us. “What’s your name?” the girl says.

“Y/N. You?”

“Seulgi. Amity if you were wondering.”

“Abnegation- born.”

“I see.”

I swing my legs off the gurney bed, “Can we just leave?” Seulgi rubs her thumb and index finger on her chin, “I think so. There’s no one here besides us.” When both of us exit the violet infirmary, we’re greeted with ominous, stone-covered corridors that vibrate with the sound of hollering further down. We follow the sound into the main foyer. It’s a lobby full of long tables, initiates dressed in raven-colored uniforms, and strings of crystalline lights that glitter above their heads. It’s teeming with life, some people are in a separate area as they tackle each other within a ring and some opt to sit and talk in the lounge space. Seulgi notions, “This is the pit. I guess this is where everyone hangs out.” I nod back at her, “No kidding.” I hope that didn’t sound ruder out loud. When we make our way towards the tables, we see a couple of boys and girls wave at Seulgi, “Seul, over here!” She happily runs to them, dragging my hand along. They embrace her in firm handshakes and side hugs, passing us both two plates of food. A boy to Seulgi’s left laughs, “Some bruises you got, poor Seulgi.” She grins, “Hey, at least I fought the best I could. Later, I’ll become stronger than Serena and beat her up.” The group erupts in laughter, some unknown liquid spilling out of their silvery cups. She gestures at me, “We’ve got a new recruit for our crew.” They go silent, peering around Seulgi to get a better view of me. 

I awkwardly wave, “Good to be here?”

The boy flashes me a thumbs up, “Glad to have you. You put up a fight against that bitch Marlene.”

Laughing a little, I nod, “It doesn’t help that she threw me around like a bulldog’s chew toy.”

A girl across from the boy says, “It wasn't even fair though! She was way bigger than you, the circumstances were so unbalanced.” Seulgi nudges me in the arm, “Tough cookie, you’re going to beat her one day. I know you will.”

The boy raises his cup, everyone following his lead, “Cheers on that! Cheers to dauntless’s newest additions!”

Our cups almost overspill our drinks onto our food, drops landing by my plate. Seulgi perks up suddenly, “You know guys, I have an idea. How about we get celebratory tattoos? You know, dauntless style?”

The girl who sits across from Seulgi cackles sarcastically, “On my virgin body, no way!”

Seulgi punches her lightly, “Come on, Adema, don’t be a vibe-killer! It’ll be fun!”

“Quit being so loud initiates.” 

     We all pause our excitement, turning our heads to see the voice that had spoken to us. It was Jeno. He stood before us, one plate of food in one hand. It was like his demeanor had suddenly changed from friendly vice Jeno to a cold-blooded teenage version of Jaegger. He flops his food down with clank, launching himself into the seat next to me. I speak up, “Jeno, we weren’t being that loud. Everyone here is like, yelling.”

He cocks up a dark eyebrow, lilting his head to the side, “Who said I asked? I saw you all being loud, that’s how it is.”

Seulgi nudges me once more, whispering, “Don’t engage, it’s fine.”

Her plead makes me want to provoke Jeno even more. I sip my drink in contempt. Glaring at him, “did something happen? Why are you like this all of a sudden?”

Jeno widens his onyx eyes at me, his jaw gritting with pressure, “Don’t you think it’s a bit rude to assume?”

I shoot back, “I’m respectfully asking, I’m not inferring. There’s a difference.”

Jeno cards a veiny hand through his messy locks, “Either way, I don’t care. You should just know when to stop asking.”

All of dinner was awkward to say the least. Even so, by the end, we all made our way to the dauntless studio- the one built like an underground speakeasy nightclub. The lights in the room rotate between red, green, and blue lights as some rnb song vibrates in the background of hissing needles. A row of velvet-cushioned chairs lined the parlor as a gigantic tower of tattoo designs rotated in the center of the room. A bar was placed on the side where there were a row of sinks and hair-cutting stations. We all muse around the swirling tower, Seulgi opting for a design of a flaming rose. “Where are you going to get yours?”

She smiles at me, “I’ve always wanted one near my hip. I don’t know, it just sounds sexy to me.”

The boy whose name goes by Renjun laughs, “Should I get a biker-hillbilly esque skull or should I go for the phoenix?”

The girls laugh, “Definitely the phoenix.”

When I trail off to find my own design, I opt for a more simple dauntless insignia as a commemoration. I don’t want anything too crazy. Renjun and Seulgi sneak up on me, “Find what you want?”

I smile back at them excitedly, “I think so!”

“Next appointment for Y/N!”

I sigh, “Well, that’s me!”

Seulgi laughs, “Good luck, girlie!”

When I make way to the counter, I’m greeted by a honey-blonde boy who seems only a few years older than me. His hair falls longer past the nape of his neck, his features apparent of chinese descent. He rolls up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, his arms covered in beautiful patches of flowers. I take note of the pair of angel wings on his throat. He sighs, “My name is Ten, I’ll be doing your design today.”

“Okay.” I sit down in his station’s chair, the one embellished with gold detailing. He sticks a smoking cigarette into his mouth after breathing out a misty cloud, “What’d you want?’”

I give him the slide of my design, he raises his eyebrows at me, “Really? Just this?”

I shrug, “I like simple.”

Ten makes a skeptical facial expression, “I can respect that.”

When he works, I try my best to stay as still as possible. I feel my arms and hands shake too much in the anticipation of the needle’s point . Instead, I’m pleasantly surprised by the sharpness, by the slight but not overbearing pain when Ten outlines the symbol in jet black. He continues to chew on the butt of his cigarette, swallowing back the bitter flavor, “So, you a new initiate?”

I turn my head towards him, “Yes.”

“How do you like it here?” 

“Still takes some time to get used to, it’s not all bad. Better than being bored back in abnegation.”

His eyebrows crinkle with recognition, “Huh, I used to be in abnegation too.”

“Really? What made you switch?”

He pauses for a moment, thinking about his words, “My family. I wasn’t the biggest fan of their house-hold rules.” “I’m sorry to hear that.”

He shakes his head defiantly, “No need to be sorry. I enjoy Dauntless.”

Ten continues, “By the way, I’m done.” The skinny boy hands me a beautiful- rose-detailed mirror, the glass reflecting the dauntless insignia on the back of my shoulder. He puts a pair of small glasses on, “I’ll give you all the aftercare items you’ll need- it shouldn’t be puffy like that for too long.”

I smile at him, “I honestly love it. Thank you.”

He grunts in agreement before packing various bottles and fabric cloths into a small pink sack and handing it to me. Ten pushes up the bridge of his glasses from slipping down his nose, “Could I ask, what’s your name?”

“Uh- Y/N.”

Ten breaks into a smile that’s almost scarily big, “Ah-Y/N. I thought so. You got dauntless on your aptitude test, right?”

“Um, why are you saying it like that? And to answer your question, yes, I did.”

He laughs amusingly, “Anyway, a little birdie tells me that you made Jeno so embarrassed on your first jump.”

My cheek flare up with redness, “You heard about that?”

Ten unwraps a honey lollipop from one of the drawers at his station, “Of course I did, Jen’s like a little brother to me. I know things even the others don’t know.”

Winking, Ten motions at me, “Don’t tell him I said this but, I think he needs someone like you in his life. The kid’s been struggling on his own.”

I raise my brows out of curiosity, “To tell you the truth, he was extremely rude to my friends and I at dinner just now.”

Ten waves me off, lollipop flinging between his fingers, “Agh- forget that! It’s just a mask that he wears to seem tough since he’s in dauntless. He’s just a sweet kid.”

I mutter, “Even so, he was very rude.”

“He doesn’t mean it, he would never say that on his own out of malicious intent. Please, just give him a chance.”

As resignation, I consider it, “Okay. I’ll try my best to forgive him of the grievances.”

Ten reaches into his bottom drawer again, pulling out a strawberry lollipop, “Good. Take one for your troubles.”

Once I finish thanking Ten, I wait for the rest of the group to get their tattoos before heading back to our dormitory. Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen it yet. When we get back, I’m appalled by the acidic smell of bleach that floats from the showers in the corner. The beds are hard as rocks and even worse- there’s no privacy between the boys or girls. Dauntless couldn’t have spent one more second to install walls in the rooms? The next few mornings were dreadful. Every single day, we were awoken by Taeyong’s and Jaegger’s barking orders through a megaphone. Days and nights were spent learning partner combat, close-range shooting, and weapons mastery. Of course, it was hard for me to keep up. I barely could hit the dummy targets. I was the first to run out of breath during the exercises. Even Seulgi, Renjun, and the others were making amazing progress. Jeno’s nice enough to give me an array of pointers, some personal lessons when Taeyong isn’t paying attention. The question remains: will it be enough to be my name above the line?

Few days later

Because I was still struggling the most, I only believed it to be right that I had to work the hardest to do something about it. In my family, we were never allowed vanity. But, we were allowed pride. I felt the need to prove myself to the other initiates, to Taeyong, and to maybe even as far as Jeno. In the middle of the night, I was in our classroom as I practiced close-range shooting on a rice-bag decoy, my goggles becoming foggy from my warm breath. It was probably past midnight then and seeing how silent it was, I’m sure everyone was safely tucked into their back-breaking beds. That’s when I felt a pair of arms surround mine- a face pressed up against my cheek. Without having to look, I knew it was Jeno. His lips barely grazed my hair, his fingers wrapped securely around mine. When did he come in? I didn’t even notice him? He places his index finger on top of mine where the trigger is, “The trick is to focus on your scope rather than the target itself. Aim at an angle so you don’t miss.”

I follow suit, my bullet lodging straight into the bulls-eye heart of the rice decoy, some grains spilling out into a small pile on the floor. I nod, testing his tip again, my bullet hits the decoy by the shoulder. He gives a small applause, “Now you’ve got it!”

“Thanks for the lesson.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Jeno chuckles awkwardly, “So, I was just on my way out to grab a few things and I’m making a stop by the coffee machine, did you want me to get anything for you?”

I shake my head, “I’m good, thank you.”

My mind flips back to Jeno’s stark hostility that peeked through a few nights ago- how could he be the same boy now? He heartily laughs, “I’m getting you one. You’ve been at this for hours and I think you need it.”

Sighing in defeat, I pique, “Wait, how do you know I’ve been up?”

Already making his way to the door, he turns as he smiles until his eyes fold into his eyelids, “Just a hunch. I’ll be back.”

I take a rest on a near-by bench, my legs thrumming to the vibration in the building pipes. A loud boom sounds from outside the training room as if someone had dropped something. Peeking out the tiny door window, “Jeno, is that you?”

There’s no reply. Opening the door carefully, I stick my head out into the hallway to my left- there’s no one in sight. In a span of a few seconds, I feel a rag be pressed to my mouth as my screams come out in silenced muffles. Three large figures wrap their arms around every part of my body, carrying me as if I was a sack of trash ready for dump-pickup. Kicking and screaming kind of helps but doesn’t at the same time. I’ve learned to maneuver my body in certain ways, twisting out of grips but whoever these people are, they keep a strong pin on my wrists. They’re all wearing black masks like some vigilante robbers- cowards, they don’t even dare to reveal their faces. I continue to scream, “Let me go! Get off!” The more I struggle, the more they squeeze my wrists and ankles. Suddenly, I’m dropped to the ground, my back hitting the concrete with a smack, one of the figures wrenches my braid over the chasm drop. The person grabs my face, threatening to toss me down the water-filled void, “We know you’re protecting Jeno’s secret! Confirm it or die!”

I grit my teeth in response, “What the hell? What secret??I barely know him?”

The voice, that of a young boy’s, “Trying to play stupid huh?”

My words come out in whimper, “Seriously, I have no idea what you’re talking about. We’re not even that close.”

The second figure hisses at the younger boy with a deeper gruff, “We’re taking too much time. Let’s just get rid of her.”

Feeling my back lose stabilization on the ground, the top half of my body is already above the chasm- a little more and I’d splat like an insect. I reach out to grab hold of something, someone, only to be met with a kick to the ribs. I bite my tongue out of pain, blood seeping to  my lips. The iron taste is familiar yet sickening, I didn’t come to dauntless to die like this. 

“Get the fuck off her!” Jeno’s voice booms with anger as he flies his fist at the figures standing behind my captor. One by one, they fall to the ground in defeat as their limbs fail to lurch back at Jeno. He grabs the boy holding my hair by the back of his collar, swinging him into the granite wall behind us as the boy’s pained shouts reverberate through the cave. In haste, Jeno pulls me up into his arms, his eyes wild with furious sparks that flame at the center of his ash eyes, “Why did you go outside when I wasn’t back yet?”

I stutter, “I heard a loud noise so I stuck my head out and yeah..”

He shakes his head, “Do you like getting into trouble? You almost died back there!”

Gazing at him, “But I didn’t. Because you came.”

Jeno’s features soften, his frame melting with the weight of my body in his arms, “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?”

“Just be quiet and see, Y/N.”

After Jeno leads me through a series of elevators, stairwells, and corridors, we arrive at a door. Swinging it open, we’re met with a cold gust of wind, my skin tingling from the icy air. Jeno sits at the end of the rooftop as he plops down, legs swinging over the edge. The view is absolutely breathtaking. In Abnegation, we never really had any windows to see the outside world. This was a stark contrast: a view of each of the sections in the distance. Candor’s buildings touch the stormy skies, Amity’s farming dome covers their entire section, and the center city emits noises from the factionless bartering for food. If you squint hard enough, there’s a wall that surrounds the entire perimeter- urging you to wonder what’s beyond it. Jeno says softly, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

I nod in agreement, “Really is.”

Plopping beside him, our thighs barely touch, my hands placed awkwardly on the roof’s surface. Jeno fixes his hair as he tustles his bangs back and forth before biting his lip in anticipation. His voice comes out in a timid but deep vibration, “I’m sorry.”

I stare back at him incredulously, “What are you sorry for?”

Jeno fiddles with the black thread from the fabric of his gloves, “Back at dinner. A few nights ago, I wasn’t very kind to you and your friends.”

Surprised with his apology, “I hope you had your reasons.”

Jeno’s habit of over-biting his lip becomes apparent because they’re pink in the middle and red at the edges. He bobs his head slightly, shutting his eyes with confirmation, “I do. More than you know.”

I put a hand on his shoulder, “If that’s the case, apology accepted.”

When I look at Jeno, he represents a rhythmic soul, one that marches to beat his own drum, and one that’s capable of showing unconditional love. Ten’s correct- his hard exterior reveals the heart of an innocent boy, one that also happens to be covered in bloody scars. “Jeno! You’re hurt!”

Jeno touches his face lightly, the scratch on his cheek irritated, “Oh. I barely noticed these.”

Taking his hand, “Jeno, we need to clean those or they’ll get infected.”

Giving me a small smile, he drags me back through the door we came through. I don’t even register that we’re still holding hands, his large fingers around my palm. I silently pray that he doesn’t notice the heat that’s enclosed between us. After we enter, the room widens into a warehouse-like studio: paneled windows, an unmade bed, and a small kitchen that resides at the corner. The clouds look more organic through the glass window, the view of the factions illuminated with  dim lights. Jeno’s rummaging through his kitchen cabinet to find a first aid kit as he sits down on the black sheets of his bed, pulling out q-tips and antiseptic cleaner. Wincing, Jeno shuts one eye as he smoothes the liquid onto the cut on his face. 

I say, “Here, let me help.”

He opens his mouth to refuse but closes it when I take the q-tip from his hand anyway. I clean my fingers with a wipe before squirting some cooling gel onto the tip of my thumb. Jeno’s breath feels warm on my face, his eyes unmoving from mine. I try to ignore his intense staring, “Jeno, look away.”

He quirks an eyebrow up, “Why?”

“Because you’re making me nervous.”

Jeno’s laugh is full of mirth and sincerity, “Nothing to be nervous about.”

Jeno’s eyes shift to the ground, his lashes framing his eyelids. Jeno looks beautiful when he isn’t trying. When the dim lights illuminate the bridge of his nose to the high points of his cheek, his features harden and soften depending on the angle of his face. Though he has some scratches on his cheeks, some above his eyebrows, it doesn’t change him. He tuts, “Now look who’s staring.”

I quickly dart my eyes away, heat crawling up the expanse of my back in embarrassment, “I wasn’t! Where else are you injured?”

He touches a tender spot on his back with his shoulder blade, “One of those attackers had sharp nails, he got me right by my shoulder.”

“May I?” I gesture beside him on the bed, my mind flashing back to when my mother told me it was rude to sit on someone’s bed without asking. 

He nods in affirmation, lifting the hem of his black sweater over his head. He stretches his back muscles, rolling his shoulders back to move them. I yelp a bit too loudly, “Why are you taking off your shirt??”

Chuckling, Jeno reaches a hand back to scratch at the hairs on his nape, “How are you going to treat it if you can’t reach it?”

“Oh, right.”

I see my hands visibly shake when I apply some more gel to the scratch that aligns in a downward line by his linear tattoo. When I press my fingers to the smooth skin of Jeno’s back, I feel myself letting out a breath I had been holding in. Jeno starts to hum an unfamiliar tune while he takes off his black gloves, tossing them to the floor. I have to say something, it’s way too quiet. “So,why this tattoo?”

He turns his face over his shoulder, “You wanna know?”

I hum, “Yeah, I do.”

Jeno goes on to explain it, his mother’s favorite flowers are cherry blossoms. He talks about how he was originally in Candor and how his mom would paste clippings of Japan from books on to her bedroom walls. His back is like a canvas for the faction insignias, all of them entwined with sakura branches that wrap around his ears and neck. “Basically, I love my mom so that explains the sakura blossoms. For the factions, I don’t believe I can just be one thing. I want to teach myself how to protect the people I love, to be kind, honest, and smart. I don’t want to be shoved into one mold, you know?”

Giving him a nod, “I get that. That’s how I thought- or, think. Now.”

In that moment, I remember Ten’s words: “Jeno has been struggling by himself.”

I pat his shoulder, “Jeno, could I ask you something?”

He turns around to me, his chest is bare and toned. Muscles are carved with definite lines that cross all over his body, “What is it, Y/N?”

“When I came in for a tattoo, I talked to Ten. He told me you struggled by yourself or currently struggling? What’s that mean?”

Jeno narrows his pointed, smoky-filled eyes at me, “Ten said that?”

I nod, “Don’t be mad at him, he’s just trying to help.”

Jeno makes a whirring hum from between his lips as he leans his hands back on the bed, “It’s hard to explain but, things aren’t always easy for me here.”

He pauses before continuing, “Ten knows something about me that most people don’t.”

Saying nothing, my heart beats with anticipation, I withhold myself from pressing him even further. On his own he says, “If I tell you, I need to know if I can trust you. I can’t afford to let this slip.”

Holding up my hand in pledged oath, I nod, “You have my word.”

“I’m divergent.”

My gasp sounds like my lungs have failed due to how loud it sounds. Truly, I didn’t expect those words to come out of Jeno’s mouth, “You’re divergent?”

Nodding solemnly, “Yes. My mother died because she was harboring me, my results got reported. Ten found us when he was on patrol with Taeyong, they took me in and forged the results so I could live.”

Connecting the dots, I point at him knowingly, “Is that why you tried to put on a front during dinner?”

Jeno sighs, “For whatever reason I thought the more mean I was, people couldn’t see through the mask.”

Instinctively, I place a firm hand on Jeno’s bouncing knee, “Jeno, you don’t have to act that way when you’re with me.”

Oh no. Why did I touch his knee like that? He must think I’m trying to come on to him or something, judging by the confused look on his face. I messed up. Jeno cockily smirks, launching himself until there is absolutely no space in between us. His face is only a couple centimeters away, a mischievous glint shines in his shadowy irises. He’s so close I can spot the faded mole at the flat of his cheek, some of his dark hairs fall to his brow. “Y/N, am I making you nervous right now?”

I gulp, my eyes widened like disks, “Very.”

Jeno flicks his eyes to my lips, his smile curling on one side, “Don’t be nervous.”

Like that, Jeno’s lips are on mine in a split second- a soft, slow sensation washing over us like time’s been stopped instantly. I feel myself relaxing as I straddle Jeno’s lap, pulling him closer by his shoulders. The way Jeno moves his head, forehead bumping against mine feels bone-chillingly pleasant as he continues to kiss me passionately. The dark-haired boy moves his rough hands through my hair as loops curl in between his fingers. When I pull back for air, my heart feels like it’s burning when I memorize the honey-golden sheen of Jeno’s skin, his parted lips swollen from our contact. Kneeling up on the bed, I rise to look down on Jeno, his strong arms grasping me by the waist as I lean down to his lips again. Jeno traces the curve of my jaw, his lips moving to the hollow of my neck- his lips sting against my skin. Shutting his eyes in pleasure, Jeno sighs into my shoulder, “Can you just stay here?”

I hug his chest even harder, “Won’t I get in trouble?”

Jeno laughs, “For being with me or for missing curfew?”

I laugh, “Both?”

Jeno kneads my area by my  hip, massaging my sweater upwards, “Can I?”

I look back at him, raising my eyebrow, “Do you even deserve me?”

His smile reveals the highlights of his teeth, “I can try my best for you? Don’t worry about the others giving you a hard time, I can take care of it.”

My arms hang off Jeno’s shoulders, hands crossed by his neck, “Really, Jeno?”

Jeno gives me a fond nod, “Really.”

When I lower myself to Jeno’s level, he helps me lift the fabric of my top above my head. His eyes widen at the sight, he almost looks surprised. I panic, “What, what is it?”

He shakes his head in resignation, “When I first saw you, tumbling on the train, I thought you were the prettiest person in that dirt-covered train car.”

A blush glows on my cheeks, I feel my ear sting a bit- the feeling causing my heart to tremor. Instead, I result to leaning my forehead against Jeno’s, “You’re not bad at all.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Jeno smashes his lips against mine once again, harder than the last time as we lower ourselves into Jeno’s navy-blue pillows that sit in a squished pile by the headboard. I sweep a hair behind Jeno’s ear, peering up at his figure on top of me, “We should sleep, I was told that we have intense training tomorrow.”

Jeno’s eyes crinkle like moons, “Y/N, you really know how to kill the mood don’t you?”

I slap a hand against his pectoral muscle, “Jeno, let’s just go to bed!”

“Okay, okay.”

 Jeno gets up to turn off the lights before tossing himself next to me on his bed. Pulling the comforter over our bodies, I feel his breath hit the back of my head as he hums in content. I turn my body to face him, his eyes already softly shut. His eyelashes are even more prominent, his hair is a bit more messy than it was in the last few hours. Pressing a kiss to his forehead, I stare back at him for a little bit longer. In the dark, he flicks open one eye, “How do you expect me to go to bed if you keep kissing me?”

“Goodnight, Jeno.”

Pouting, Jeno huffs playfully, “Good night, Y/N.”

[vincent-frankenstein]

Shatter

Chapter Eleven: Sunrise, Sunset

Summary: Logic is a storm. He’s a furious fire, raging deep inside; thunder strong enough to tear the mindscape to pieces, lightning bright enough to take control. And the storm grows with each time he’s ignored or disregarded, each time his so-called “family” pushes him aside. This is a golden opportunity — how could Rage not take it?

When lightning strikes, Deceit is left to pick up the shattered pieces left behind. The light sides are the only ones who can stop Logic and take Rage off his throne, the only ones who can save Thomas. Deceit just has to fix the damage Logic wrought. He just has to bring back the light.

(And maybe, maybe fall in love with them in the process.)

Warnings: violence, manipulation, blood, corruption, sympathetic deceit, villain logan, swearing, dark side ocs, basically just logan and rage being ASSHOLES and hurting everyone including thomas

Pairings: eventual DAMP (starting with Roceit, then Moceit, and finally Anxceit)

{ Read on AO3 | Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Interlude | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten }

@dante1138 @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur @dealings-ofthe-raven @nerdypandastuff @sammy-the-eye @spirits-in-my-thoughts  @c0re0psis @just-a-baby-bee-witchblr @theultimatemomfriend @brownie-aunt (lmk if u wanna be added to/removed from the taglist!)

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“What’s your favorite Disney movie?”

Deceit stood by the window, twirling a shard of broken glass between his fingers as he looked out on the frozen kingdom below. The question slipped out before he could stop himself, but he couldn’t help but hope that it would prompt something, some form of conversation, something other than the silence they’d been trapped in since Roman woke up.

“What?” Roman asked, voice hoarse. He was still curled up on the bed, his eyes closed, his face streaked with dry tears.

“Come now. You are the mindscape’s resident Disney nerd, right?” Deceit turned, leaning back against the windowsill. “Which is your favorite?”

“I don’t know. The broken passion from the night before had died out, replaced with a dry, grating self-loathing. It was a far cry from the excitement Deceit had expected the topic of Disney to elicit, which disappointed him a little. If even Disney couldn’t prince back some semblance of the man Roman used to be, what could?”

He sighed. “I’m not partial to Aladdin,” he continued, if only to have something to do. Roman opened his eyes, shooting Deceit a moment’s glance. His brow furrowed.

“Figures you would, Jafar,” he muttered, and Deceit rolled his eyes, a tiny glimmer of hope building in his chest. It was a weak nickname, no wordplay involved or anything, but it was a start. He could even ignore the villainous comparison — the completely accurate villainous comparison.

“While I do adore Jafar’s slimy aesthetic,” he began, lowering himself gently into the armchair and wincing when his leg twinged in protest, “he’s not the only reason I enjoy the movie. The plot is based around lie after lie after lie! Our dear protagonist is just as, ah, ‘slimy’ as I am.”

“No, he’s not!” Roman burst out. He froze, the flare of passion dying on his tongue, and shifted to sit against the headboard, drawing his knees up to his chest. “Aladdin lied for a good cause,” he said, and his voice was still hollow, but it was the first full sentence he’d said in quite a while that didn’t involve insulting himself, so. Progress.

“Wow, so lying can be used for good? Fascinating,” Deceit deadpanned.

“That’s not what I —” Roman rolled his eyes, a heavy sigh falling from his lips. “He lied for love.”

“Well, can’t relate there,” Deceit said smoothly, shifting to lay sideways across the chair. He looked at Roman upside-down, an easy smirk falling into place on his face. He didn’t have to be himself after all — all he had to do was take a page out of good ol’ Virgil’s book. Nothing got Roman more heated than disagreeing with him on his precious Disney movies, after all. “‘Pure’ as his intentions might have been, you cannot deny that the movie is based around lies.”

“It’s — it’s based around being yourself!” Roman said. “Despite what others may think of you! It’s about how t-there’s worth in everyone, even a ‘diamond in the rough!’”

Deceit raised an eyebrow, lifting a hand to cover his mouth in shock. “Really?” he gasped, voice thick with mock-surprise. “Everyone has worth? Even if some people don’t think so? Wow, I wonder if a moral like that could be applied to the situation at hand?”

Roman inhaled sharply, whatever retort he’d been planning dying on his tongue. He glared at a spot on the bed, face darkening, and victory blossomed in Deceit’s chest — but then he sighed, the anger fading from his face. “That doesn’t apply here,” he said. “I don’t count as a ‘someone.’ I’m not even an individual.”

Deceit fought the urge to scream. They had actually been getting somewhere! Leave it to Insecurity to bring them back to square one. “If a fictional character can count as an individual enough for you to debate his self-worth, so can you.”

Roman laughed humorlessly. “Bold of you to assume I have self-worth.”

Deceit sighed. “Roman —”

“You wanna know the difference between me and Aladdin?” Roman cut him off, throwing his arms out to the sides. “He has redeeming qualities!”

“Really,” Deceit deadpanned. “You’re saying the man who lied to practically everyone he met, stole on a regular basis, hurt the genie, manipulated the woman he ‘loved’ and put the entire city of Agrabah and possibly the whole world in danger has more redeeming qualities than you? That’s a laugh and a half.”

“He owned up to it!” Roman cried. “He made mistakes, sure, but he worked to redeem himself! He fixed the mess he’d made! I’ve never —”

“Yes you have!” Deceit yelled. He cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. “You’re telling me you’ve never made amends for your past mistakes? You’ve never attempted to, say, apologize to and include a certain ostracized side after you realized the way you were treating him was wrong? You’ve never worked to redeem yourself in the eyes of those you care about?”

Roman opened and closed his mouth again and again, fighting to respond. Deceit pushed on before he could. “It is in my nature to know the difference between lies and truth,” he said, with a pointed stare. “You have worth. That is not a lie.”

In the sunset’s glow, the tears gathering at the corners of Roman’s eyes seemed to sparkle. Deceit opened his mouth to say more, and then froze, his eyes widening. He whirled around, a grin growing on his face, hope blossoming in his chest.

The sun was setting.

“...Deceit?” Roman managed, voice thick and broken, and Deceit couldn’t bring himself to respond. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight before him. The wind was blowing, the trees were moving, clouds glided slowly through the sky — and the sun was setting. Time had jerked back into motion, which meant the Imagination realm was regaining some semblance of normalcy, which meant he was getting through to Roman, which meant —

“What’s going on?” Roman joined him at the window, eyebrows furrowing as he looked out at the kingdom he’d created. Deceit laughed before he could stop himself, relief coursing through the noise.

“Time is working again,” he said, voice just above a whisper. “It’s working! You’re — you’re listening to me!”

“What?” Roman stepped back, shaking his head. “No, I’m not!”

“You are! I’m so proud of you!” He froze, blinking. In his excitement at the prospect of getting closer to his end-goal, it had just… slipped out. A genuine compliment. It tasted strange on his tongue. Roman gasped softly, a million emotions crossing his face at once.

“Y-You —” He held his sash, not meeting Deceit’s gaze. “You shouldn’t be.”

He sat back on the bed, drawing his knees back up to his chest, and dread settled in Deceit’s stomach. What if time stopped working again? He watched the outside carefully, eyes narrowed, but the trees still rustled in the wind and the sun still set, painting the gray sky in shades of monochrome.

“And yet, I am,” Deceit said, the bitter taste of truth clogging his throat. He sank into the armchair, never tearing his eyes from the setting sun. “Funny how that works.”

Roman didn’t respond. Silence fell over the tower, and for a moment, Deceit thought that that would be the end of their conversation, and resigned himself to more empty quiet. But then Roman cleared his throat.

“What is your opinion on… Lilo and Stitch?” he asked.

An easy grin fell onto Deceit’s face. “Ah, Stitch. The epitome of chaotic evil bastardry. I’m not a fan.”

“Are you kidding? Stitch is totally chaotic neutral!”

[theeurekaproject]

Parva Rubrum Marmor

The rice plants waved from side to side in the summer breeze, endless viridian green against a landscape of burnt sienna and umber. The sunlight streaming through titanium white clouds was zinc yellow, and it left sparkles of aluminum powder on a pond of cobalt blue. Cressida swirled the paintbrush through American rose and dotted it on the vermillion of the cliffs far in the background, completing the picturesque landscape of the quadrangle.

She leant back and looked at the painting, somewhat dissatisfied with it. American rose might not have been the right color. It was more candy apple red or electric crimson. And maybe diamond dust would have looked better than aluminum powder, to really capture the essence of sun on water, or maybe-

Maybe she was just overthinking it.

She looked at the painting, and then at her pigments. She eyed the chocolate cosmos. Dark, rich, deep red—it would be the perfect opposite of bright, vibrant American rose, especially in a painting where she was trying to create so much contrast. But was chocolate cosmos really faithful to the cliffs of the Mare Acidalium at sunset?

Cressida frowned and walked over to her window. It wasn’t that she wanted photorealism, exactly, but she wanted something that really matched the soul of the place, the heart of the landscape. Colors were important for that. She pulled open the drapes, revealing the real rice plants, and all of the people who worked in them. The cliffs rose up in the background. Chocolate cosmos did kind of match their character, but it wasn’t really super accurate-

“What the hell?”

Something flashed in the sky, momentarily flickering before vanishing into thin air. Cressida squinted. There it was again—a sleek chrome triangle, pulsing in and out of existence. That was advanced cloaking technology, the likes of which she’d never seen outside of crappy sci-fi B-movies they played at the theater on Fridays. Martian ships didn’t look like that.

“Dad?” she called downstairs. “Dad, there’s something weird in the stratosphere.”

“I know,” he shouted back. “They’re with me-“

“The ones in the ship?” she asked, watching all the workers in the field stop their labor to gaze at the cyan sky. “Because there’s a white thing-“

“What?”

“Come take a look at it.”

She heard him murmur an apology to his visitors—Eleutherian ambassadors, probably, but she had long since given up on trying to keep his various guests straight—and run upstairs, his footsteps pounding on the hardwood floor. He joined her at the window still, shielding his eyes with one hand.

“Look, Dad,” she said. “It’s flickering, see? That’s not one of ours.”

“That’s strange,” he said slowly. “That’s a nice ship. A really nice ship.” Even from this far away, Cressida could tell it was expensive; the way the mid-morning light glinted off the metal was unique to fancy Eleutherian cruisers. But why would the space equivalent of a yacht have cloaking technology unless whoever was flying it really, really didn’t want to be seen?

“It doesn’t look dangerous,” Cressida said, “but civilian ships aren’t even allowed to have that type of tech. That goes against so many regulations it’s not even funny.”

“You’re right. And it isn’t just cloaking, either.” Her father tilted his head up, shielding his eyes with one scarred hand. “See how shiny it is? That’s not for aesthetic purposes—or, well, it is, but those are shields, like on a military ship.” Cressida’s voice caught in her throat. “Military?” The Eleutherian military was no joke; their fleet outstripped anything Mars had by far, to the point where fending them off was laughable. The last war they’d fought had resulted in patches of nuclear devastation all over Daedalia Planum, and the soil was still irradiated and poisonous even centuries later. And, to Eleutheria, that had been nothing—at the time, their Imperatrix had called it a “skirmish.” Millions of people dead and entire cities leveled, a civilization reduced to radioactive ash, and it barely even registered on Eleutheria’s radar. They could nuke the entirety of Mars and barely bat an eyelash. Cressida was sure that her father’s status would protect her in some way—he prided himself on being annoyingly overprotective, and he was rich and powerful in some sectors—but, at the end of the day, he was just a farmer who had gotten lucky. He was high-ranking, but was he high-ranking enough to save his daughter and his planet from the most volatile empire known to mankind?

“What did you do?” Cressida demanded. “Why is the Eleutherian army coming after us?”

“I didn’t do anything, not really,” he said quickly. “And they wouldn’t send the army after us. They’d send the space force.” “That is literally the opposite of reassuring.” The only thing more terrifying than the sight of centuria of mutant super-soldiers was the sight of centuria of mutant super-soldiers riding indestructible starships.

“Don’t panic just yet. That might not even be a military craft,” he said, though Cressida could hear the waver in his voice. “Military ships are’t sleek and white—more cubic and black and intentionally intimidating.” Cressida squinted, trying to get a closer look. Everyone in the fields had long since stopped working; now, they just stared up at the sky, enraptured. The vessel drew closer, close enough to cause tornadoes of rusty-red dust to swirl up from the ground in jets of spent soil, and then closer still. It was big—admittedly, not as big as a yacht, but big—and Cressida felt a surge of anxiety as she realized just how near it was to the farmhouse. Either it would flatten all the crops and destroy the year’s harvest, which would be a massive inconvenience requiring ten tons of paperwork, or it would completely crush the homestead. Neither were good options, and both were bound to piss off the almighty Algorithm.

But, to her surprise, the ship simply coasted over them with a surprising amount of grace for something so large and unwieldy-looking. It cast a long, dark shadow over the fields as the Martian sun vanished behind glimmering Eleutherian plastic, sending chills down Cressida’s spine.

“Hey, Ace,” her father called to one of his guests. “Can you come up here for a minute?” “Ace?” Cressida asked. That name sounded like it belonged to a frat boy, not a visiting dignitary. “Who the hell is—“ “What?” A teenage boy with wild, curly black hair came barreling into the room in a cacophony of noise. His clothes suggested that he was a soldier, but his demeanor seemed less “military precision” and more “confused.” Maybe Eleutheria’s massive population meant that they were less discerning when it came to their soldiers, since they had so much cannon fodder, or maybe he was smarter than he looked.

“Is that who I think it is?” Cressida’s father asked, gesturing to the ship. Ace considered it for a minute.

“Yeah,” he said. “Oh my god, yeah. That’s Acidalia. We’re so fu—uh, screwed.”

“Wait,” Cressida interjected, “Acidalia? You’re not talking about-“

“You know exactly who I’m talking about,” he replied. “Either that or her psycho mother, because there are only two people I can think of who have rides like that.”

Cressida looked nervously at her father, and his eyes widened slightly.

“You don’t think it could be Alestra, do you?” he asked.

“Alestra Cipher is after you?!” Cressida exclaimed. “What the hell, Dad?” Alestra was the most dangerous woman in the solar system—hell, probably even the whole galaxy. She killed her own citizens on a regular basis, and she did not like Martians, particularly martians from the Mare Acidalium quadrangle. If she saw the opportunity to strike, she’d probably mow down the whole Seren family where they stood.

“I don’t think it’d be her,” Ace said dismissively. “It must be Acidalia. If it was Alestra, she’d have burnt this whole place to the ground already. We’d all be piles of radioactive ash by now. But that’s not the point—it doesn’t matter if she’s on that ship or not, because she’s the hunting dog to Acidalia’s fox. We are so, so, so screwed—and the fact that Acidalia thought it was necessary to come all the way here doesn’t bode well, either.”

“What do you mean, ‘that doesn’t bode well?’” Cressida asked again. “Dad, what’s happening?” Moving away from the window, she knocked over the all-but-forgotten jar of mixed chocolate cosmos, which left a reddish brown stain where it spilled.

She went utterly ignored.

“Yeah, it must be Acidalia’s,” Ace decided. “Alestra wouldn’t have let us live this long—she’s too efficient for that. And Cassiopeia’s an impulsive idiot, but Alestra keeps a leash on her, right?”

“I suppose there’s only one way to find out,” Cressida’s father shrugged.

***

Approximately thirty seconds later, Cressida and her father, trailed by Ace and a strange Eleutherian girl with fluorescent pink hair, stood outside the homestead in a rare patch of grass. Each and every one of them was sweating and tired-looking—something about the heat made standing under the sun exhausting, even when one had barely done anything requiring any sort of labor. Together, they stared at the ship, watching, waiting.

Suddenly, with an odd lack of fanfare, the shields vanished, and in place of their iridescent glow was a set of marble steps that somehow looked as natural on the landscape as the rice plants and the trees. At their very center stood a woman in a white dress and a veil—she could have been a bride, but Cressida knew better. She was flanked by two other women wearing identical gray uniforms, but somehow they gave off the same energy as an entire court full of people, and Cressida felt like she ought to respect this person, whoever she was.

The girl with pink hair, the one who apparently didn’t speak a word of Anglian, dropped to her knees in an awkward sort of worship. Cressida briefly contemplated doing the same thing, but neither Ace nor her father followed the girl, so she did a slight curtsy and remained standing, feeling very small compared to this foreign princess of a person. Even here, surrounded by the spoils of her family’s wealth—a mansion of a farmhouse, fields upon fields of employees, the best technology any Martian could ever hope to buy—Cressida felt like a tasteless hick.

“You know how to make an entrance,” her father said to the stranger, smiling slightly.

She sighed. “Old habits die hard.” Something in her expression was completely humorless, but not in an I-mean-business way, more of a someone-just-died way. Something churned in Cressida’s stomach, and she suddenly got a horrible gut feeling that something had gone very, very wrong.

“Are all the Imperials this dramatic?” her father asked, apparently not picking up on the David-this-is-serious vibes the woman was clearly trying to send his way. It took a moment, but a wave of embarrassment surged through Cressida. Imperials? This woman was an Imperial? Not just an Imperial—if she was standing here, and she wasn’t Alestra, she had to be—

Oh my God, Cressida thought. I’m speaking to Acidaila Cipher. It should have been obvious in retrospect; Ace had identified this craft as her ship, after all, and it made sense that the Imperatrix Ceasarina would be the one person outside the military who would own a ship this nice. But Cressida had been expecting some type of aid or minister to come out first—why would the ruler of the most powerful empire humanity had ever known want to speak face-to-face with the Secretary of Agriculture on Mars, of all people?

“David, I don’t have time for this,” Acidalia said, looking harried, and the tone in her voice made Cressida want to hear whatever she had to say sooner rather than later. She gave off a sort of frantic, panicked aura, even though her stone-cold face was completely calm. It was like chaos and disarray just surrounded her—she wasn’t its source, but it seemed to like her, and Cressida wanted to figure out what the problem was before it turned into a catastrophe.

“Sorry,” her father said. “Generally, when important political figures show up at my house with no explanation or forewarning, I get a little curious.” She glared at him. “There are a lot of things we could be talking about right now that don’t involve dramatic entrances. I’m afraid that I come bearing bad news.”

“Bad news?” Cressida asked, terrified by the vagueness of the statement. “Bad news” coming from a political figure could mean anything from an unfavorable poll to a famine that killed eight thousand people, and that was just on Mars. She didn’t even want to imagine what had happened in order to make Eleutheria acknowledge that it had a problem.

“We should discuss this inside,” Acidalia said, gesturing quickly towards the ship, which vanished into thin air at the movement of her wrist. Every worker in the fields stared, open-mouthed, but the Eleutherians didn’t look surprised in the slightest. As Acidalia walked to the farmhouse, Martian dirt soiled her elaborate white gown, but she didn’t seem to notice or care. She exuded the same type of confidence as Arlen Tycho—the persona of a leader who knew damn well how powerful and famous they were, and didn’t care what the unwashed masses thought of them.

With surprisingly little fanfare, Acidalia and her companions sat at the low wooden table in the kitchen by the foyer, and Cressida almost laughed at the sheer absurdity of the sight. Even she didn’t sit in the kitchen—they had dining rooms for that. The kitchen was the domain of the help and other people whose social points weren’t high enough to let them sit with the big guns. But Acidalia was the biggest gun in the room, and if she wanted to sit in the kitchen, the Algorithm probably wouldn’t penalize either of the Serens for that.

Acidalia said something low to Cressida’s father before turning to her. She gulped, half-expecting to be struck down or laughed at, but the Imperatrix had an expression of almost friendly neutrality, though she still gave off an underlying feeling of dread and anxiety.

“Um… bonus vesper, celsituda tua,” Cressida said, feeling nervous for a reason she couldn’t place.

“Loquerisne Latine?” Acidalia asked, surprised.

“Scio exigua.” I know a little bit. She’d studied Latin at school, too, but not the complicated, intricate dialect that Eleutheria used, if one could even call it that. Eleutherian “Latin” was really more of a creole of Latin, English, random Romance languages, Greek, and a bunch of drunk people adding -um and -us and -trix to words where they didn’t belong. It was created by a slew of college students armed with online translators and some Church documents two thousand years ago, and it showed. But she could hardly insult Acidalia’s mess of a first language in front of her, so she smiled blandly and tried her best not to cringe at the incorrect declensions and pronunciations.

“Ego Acidalia,” Acidalia said, as if Cressida wouldn’t know who she was. She pronounced her name the Catholic way, like the word acid. “Tu es filia David?”

“Sic. David pater meus,” Cressida replied. “Meum nomen Cressida est.” Yes, I am David’s daughter. My name is Cressida.

“Suave te cognoscere est,” Acidalia. “Pater mecum operatur. Qui dixit mihi multus est de te. Quotos annos habes?”

“Sedecim annos habeo.” I am sixteen years old—well, more like I have sixteen years. She was pretty sure that’s how they said it in Latin. That’s how they said it in Spanish, right? Tengo dieciseis años, not soy dieciseis años. And Latin was like Spanish’s ancestor, sort of. So that had to be it. Cressida was suddenly reminded of the Horus she’d spent in Trinity Court’s Academy for Young Women, staring longingly at the languid summer days just outside the window and trying to remember complex webs of verb tense rules for the sake of grammar quizzes. Was Acidalia trying to test her?

“Libens sum. Possumus, eamus intus?” Acidalia asked.

Before she could reply, Ace interrupted them. “Et arripuerit,” he said. “T Ubi est?”

Acidalia sighed deeply and didn’t meet his eyes. With a sweeping gesture, she announced more than said, “Veni. Nos eamus.”

No one moved.

She did not say anything, but gave them a look that wordlessly said, “this is a command, not a suggestion.”

***

“Et mortuus est?!”

Acidalia’s expression barely changed. “Cassiopeia.”

Looking incredulous, Ace sank down on the table. “Quomodo?”

“Et percusserunt eum. Significatum est enim mihi est…. mea culpa, se nunquam mori. Et ego paenitet.”

“Non utique creditur moriturus!” Ace exclaimed. “Erat tantum septendecim annorum… Ego ei ne ire. Cur non ibimus?” He buried his head in his hands and sunk down to the table, muttering frantically to himself in a whispered Shakespearean soliloquy.

Cressida didn’t know enough Latin to pick up on most of the conversation, but she knew enough to judge that someone had died. Mortuus, mori, moriturus… dead, dying, dying? It was difficult to tell; half their words didn’t make sense in Classical, non-Eleutherian Latin, because they had the wrong declensions or wrong grammar or were in the wrong order. But “mort” she understood enough. And “mea culpa…” that meant “my fault.” Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa was part of the Confíteor. Imperatrix Acidalia was claiming responsibility for someone’s death.

Apparently Ace had asked a rhetorical question, because Acidalia didn’t answer him. Instead, she merely looked down at the wooden table, elegantly mournful. Her eyes were watery, but there was no other sign that she was even remotely upset.

Ace, meanwhile, remained with his head in his arms for a few seconds, and the girl with pink hair looked over at him, concerned. She went to lay a hand on him, then redacted it, swallowing hard and looking at Acidalia.

Suddenly, Ace jolted up, his eyes red. “Et scissis vestibus pergens ad te.”

“Fecit,” Acidalia said softly.

“Et occidit se ipsum pro te,” Ace snapped. “Et occidit se ipsum pro te et tu ne quidem curant!”

Cressida caught the word occido—killed. Et occidit se ipsum pro te—“he killed himself for you.” She was taken aback; who would just say that to the Imperatrix? This random soldier had to have been of extraordinarily high rank to get away with this type of open defiance.

“Hey,” she whispered to the girl in gray, the one with long hair tipped with streaks of red (which the Algorithim would have killed her for if she wasn’t Eleutherian.) “Hey, do you speak English?”

“Um, some?” she whispered back. “I’m Athena.”

“Thank god,” Cressida said. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“The brother of the Imperatrix—uh, the empress?” she asked herself. “No… she who commands? I don’t know if there’s an English word with the same exact meaning-“

“Doesn’t matter,” Cressida said quickly.

“Yeah, I guess it doesn’t. But, um, the brother of the Imperatrix is dead.” She didn’t use the English possessive Acidalia’s brother, which made her voice sound stilted and awkward in a way she probably didn’t intend.

“I didn’t even know she had a brother,” Cressida said. She saw Acidalia and Aleskynn’s faces everywhere, but there was never any boy with them. If Acidalia did have a brother, his image would be on every propaganda poster ever produced.

“I didn’t know either, until about yesterday,” Athena said. “He’s gone now, though.”

“What happened?”

“Acidalia said Cassiopeia shot him—you probably don’t know who that is. She’s, um… insanus. What’s the word for-“

“Insane. It’s the same, pretty much,” Cressida interrupted. “How did she-“

“I don’t know,” Athena said. “I found out about this five minutes ago, too.”

“Oh.” Cressida felt like she shouldn’t be sitting here watching this—Acidalia had just lost a brother, and Ace was clearly upset about it. At the same time, though, she wasn’t sure how she could get away. Surely if the Imperatrix wanted her gone, she’d have told her to leave, but why would she want her here?

She turned to Athena, who looked like she felt just as bemused as Cressida did.

“Non est vestrum erit flagitium!” Ace shouted, suddenly, standing. The Imperatrix looked momentarily surprised before reverting to the same expression she’d worn before—sad, but strong, determined. She looked like a movie character, not someone whose brother had just been brutally murdered by a madwoman.

“Non ea culpa fuit,” Cressida’s father said gently.

“Sic factum est,” Acidalia replied, looking down at the ground. “Et mortuus est in me. Me paenitet, Ace-“

"Ignosce, non satis!” Ace spat. “Quod illi non erit! Et profecta!”

Cressida cringed internally. This man was going to wind up dead if Acidalia was anything like her mother—which, judging by the white and the theatrics, she was. Insulting the Imperatrix was not a good way to become popular in Eleutheria.

But, to her surprise, Acidalia hardly reacted. She closed her eyes and put her hands on her face for a moment, before sighing deeply. “Scio.” I know.

“Acidalia,” Cressida’s father said. “Prohibere. Quid enim sunt ne putasti?”

The Imperatrix didn’t say anything, but she wiped her eye with the back of her hand so subtly Cressida might not have noticed it if she weren’t so close. Ace just sunk back into the table again, and the girl with pink hair was clearly crying. The whole room filled with a stilted silence for a few minutes. Athena, her friend, and Cressida stood against the wall, bemused. Athena’s friend looked scared and embarrassed, chewing on her lip until blood trickled down her chin.

With a sudden realization, Acidalia abruptly straightened her shoulders, switching from one emotion to another far too quickly for Cressida’s comfort. She couldn’t tell whether the Imperatrix was upset and very good at hiding it or crying crocodile tears for the benefit of Ace, but either way, the transition was too sharp to seem normal. Acidalia looked—and acted—almost like a robot. A creation that had been told what humans liked when it came to looks and personality, and then replicated it, but replicated it wrong. Her oddly symmetrical features, her strange bright brown eyes, her impossible hourglass figure, the way she went from a weepy sister to a strong leader in a nanosecond—it wasn’t right, and it made Cressida slightly anxious. Acidalia was far too deep in the uncanny valley for her liking.

“Aegre fero,” Acidalia said, while Ace continued to look blankly at the wall. Then, addressing Cressida’s father, “David, si necesse est dicere.” We need to talk.

“About what?” Cressida asked, recognizing too late that she maybe shouldn’t have.

Her father’s eyes turned shifty. “Non hic.” Not here.

Acidalia nodded. “Sunt telecameras.”

“Cameras?!” All the times she’d danced around her room singing Vocaloid songs into a brush at top volume flew through Cressida’s head, before she remembered that there were clearly bigger issues at hand. Who would want to bug the Seren farmhouse? Just what types of games were her father playing?

“In Revelatio,” Acidalia said, standing. “Non debeo hic.”

Cressida really wished they would stop speaking Latin—or at least speak normal Latin—but knew better than to say it. She joined her father, glaring at him. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“Come with me.”

The stitch in her side returned as her father dragged her back to the ship, which materialized again in order to allow the passengers on. She winced, clambering up the marble steps. They were a lot less beautiful when she was roughly forced up them, and they were steep. Acidalia followed quickly, almost jogging in her seven-inch heels. It was a miracle she didn’t fall. Robotic, Cressida thought again.

The Revelation had entirely too many chairs and too much decor—all blue stones mixed with Greek and Roman art, not like Eleutherians even had any concept of what Greece and Rome were outside of those cool ancient people who made pretty statues. The neon lights immediately gave her a headache, and the architecture was sleek and organic but cold—but not literally, it was about eighty degrees. Everything Cressida disliked was in the Revelation’s sterile insides.

She collapsed on a rounded bench with white LEDs on the edges, blinking at the brightness. None of the other Eleutherians seemed too bothered by the harsh, unnatural lighting, though they’ll all been squinting in the Martian sun. Cressida’s resentment towards them grew suddenly, especially when every last one of them started speaking in rapid Latin, much too fast for her to understand. Who the hell were these people? They could land a ship on her farm, invade her house, make battle plans without her? Who did they think they were?

“Excuse me,” she said.

She was promptly ignored as her father delved deep into a conversation with Athena, the one who spoke a bit of English.

“Excuse me,” she said, louder this time.

They continued their discussion.

“Veniam in me!” she snapped. Six heads turned to look at her. “What the hell is going on?”

They stared at her blankly.

“Quid agatur in infernum?”

Her father sighed, looking worried. “We’re going to Eleutheria.”

“What?”

“Acidalia had a conversation with the Proregina of the Lunar Colonies-“ he began.

“What on Earth is a ‘proregina?’"

“Like a vicereine-“

“A what? None of this makes any sense! You can’t just-“ “Like a female viceroy,” Acidalia added, very unhelpfully. Cressida looked to Athena for help, but she just whispered, “Don’t know either.”

“An important person on the Moon,” her father said slowly, looking like he had a headache. “She said there’s been an uprising in Appalachia—that’s Eleutheria’s capital city. They think Acidalia’s dead-“

“Well, she’s clearly not, unless this chick really is an alien robot,” Cressida snapped, “so I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“I’m a leader of the Revolution,” Acidalia explained, like this was something completely normal to say. “We’re in a difficult spot here. The Novagenetica-“

“The eugenicist crazies,” Athena explained helpfully.

“-have declared a full-out war on us and claimed to have killed me. Obviously, since I’m not on-planet and it’s difficult to contact me out here, many have made their assumptions about my untimely death. The entire reason I’m here is because an assassination attempt that killed my brother forced me to flee, so that likely was a contributing factor in why so many believed the Nova when they declared that I had been murdered. Either way, most people on both sides think I’m deceased, and it’s vital that we correct that in order to preserve the safety of the planet.” “What does that have to do with me?” Cressida demanded.

“Well,” Acidalia said, “meet our Martian contact, David Seren.” She gestured to Cressida’s father. “Ally of the Revolution and close friend to President Tycho.”

Astonished, Cressida stared at her father. “What the hell, Dad? You’ve been in cahoots with a bunch of Eleutherian insurgents and you didn’t tell me?” “Seeing as we’re spearheaded by several members of the federal government, we aren’t exactly insurgents,” Acidalia replied calmly, her tone never shifting. “More like one faction of a civil war. But we need to stop discussing this. Clearly, I’m needed on-planet, and so is your father. For your safety, so are you. Besides, you’re an expert on Martian climate and agriculture and you’ve attended finishing school; the daughter of a Martian aristocrat is valuable.” She smiled in a way that was probably supposed to be as welcoming, but the corners of her eyes didn’t crinkle up like they were supposed to, and she looked too strange for anything she said to come across as genuine.

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere with me,” Cressida said. “I can’t leave Mars. I have a life. I have school, exams are coming up—it’s November, remember? Finals start next month.”

Acidalia looked entirely nonplussed about this. “I can tutor you on anything involving biology,” she said, “and I’m sure you’ll find that there are plenty of educational opportunities on Eleutheria.” “You’re missing the point,” Cressida said, wondering if she was really that thick. “I can’t just not take exams. I need a diploma-" “A what?” Athena asked.

“I’ll write you a recommendation letter,” Acidalia said dismissively. “No school in its right mind would deny you an admission. And, keep in mind, this is only temporary, and for your own safety. Now that I am here and my brother is dead—“ Her voice broke for a second, then she regained her composure so quickly Cressida wondered if anything had even changed to begin with. “Now that my brother is dead,” she continued, “this place is no longer safe for any of us. My mother will find out the truth soon enough, and then we will all be in danger.”

“But I haven’t done anything,” Cressida said indignantly. “I have no part in any of this.” She found it hard to believe that any Eleutherian dignitary could get away with murdering the daughter of an important politician. People would notice that, and then they’d be angry, even if there was nobody left to really mourn the Seren family. Acidalia sighed and looked up at Cressida. “Your innocence doesn’t matter,” she said. “Your father spoke to me once, and that’s enough. She’d murder you in a heartbeat if she thought you were related to a revolutionary, even if you posed no threat to her. I’ve seen her mutilate people for less. And even if the people of Mars rioted in response, there’s nothing they could do to counter Alestra’s immense power. She’d sooner bomb your whole city to ashes than show an ounce of mercy.”

“Acidalia is right,” Cressida’s father said. “That woman is a psychopath, and she doesn’t like Mars—or Martians—very much.”

“But she’s half-Martian!” Cresida exclaimed.

“Yes,” Acidalia finished, “I am. And so is—was—my dead little brother, who my mother’s henchman shot in the head. Nobody is safe from her, I guarantee it.”

A shiver went down Cressida’s spine. “What do you think she’ll do if she finds out—?” “I don’t know,” Acidalia replied. “I can’t say. But if you would like to remain alive—which I suggest you do; it is a dreadful waste to lose somebody so young—I suggest packing and leaving. Once the sirens start blaring, it will already be too late. I’m sure you know what happened to Daedalia.”

“Okay, but…” Cressida’s voice trailed off. She’d be missing school, she realized suddenly, and she’d lose half of her social points if she was absent any more. After that bout of flu in October, the Algorithm was already angry with her, and it would not be merciful if she abandoned her planet without a trace a month before exam season. And then the rumors would start and her reputation would sink even lower—she’d be called a deadbeat and a dropout and all manner of other things, and she’d never be able to go to a good college if she had no status left. The Martian meritocracy didn’t allow for mistakes or variations from the norm, even during a civil war.

But losing merit was still better than being dead.

A surge of fury coursed through Cressida’s veins. There was no way for her to get out of this—if she stayed she’d surely die, and if she left she’d be abandoning the life her father struggled so much to build for her. And none of it was her fault. She wasn’t the one who joined a revolution for the sake of a planet she didn’t even live on, she wasn’t the one who made friends with a woman whose family was insane enough to murder anyone its black sheep of a daughter set her eyes upon, and she wasn’t the one who dragged her friends into a war so violent teenage girls could be shot to death over nothing, absolutely nothing. This was all her father’s fault, and even beyond that, Acidalia’s—Acidalia Cipher, who had the nerve to show up at the Seren home, completely ignorant of the trail of destruction she’d leave in her wake. How dare she? None of this was Cressida’s problem.

But the nuclear war hadn’t been the Daedalians’ problem, either, and they were still the ones who had to pay for it. Such was politics. It was all one big game of chess—you sacrifice the pawns for the sake of the king. And the Algorithm would rather see a game won than save a useless piece.

Still, despite her desire—no, need—to please the Algorithm and her homeland, Cressida was growing tired of being a pawn.

[chickenfetus]

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these 

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse??  i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just  heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao  

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

[unproduciblesmackdown]

me taking the initiative & answering an entire ask meme to myself from myself

sunflower: if there was a door that went to a city that was a good representation of you, what city would it be and would you go through the door?

it would be any city with a nice skyline and lights at night, because seeing a city at night from a distance is part of this headspace aesthetic i developed over the years. the city background from the cd rom scrabble game

pink: sunsets or sunrises?

sunsets are basically my favorite time of day

freshly cut grass: are you an early riser? if not, is this because you stay up late?

no; of course?

journal: would you dye your hair if you had the opportunity? why or why not?

of course, because ive always wanted to? i might do a specific shade of light pink, but more likely my favorite color, which is a specific kind of bright blue. never done it tho coz it's be a pain up the ass to bleach it enough

painting: in what ways are you creative?

i draw, and on occasion write, and on rarer occasion engage in other forms of art stuff. i dont consider myself genuinely "creative" tho, just because i do art. its not the only realm that uses creativity, and im not creative in those other spaces either

waves: is there one music genre you can’t listen to?

i guess anything like metal doesnt do anything for me

writing: do you write letters? if not, would you like to be?

no. i guess if i had someone i was close to but not physically close to, i'd be fine w writing letters

waterfalls: describe your perfect date.

one that doesnt involve me coz I Don't Date

freckles: what’s something that makes you happy? describe the first thing that comes to your head.

when its raining

dimples: would you rather be inviting on a hike or a night out?

a night out by a long shot

blushing: describe a rad person you know.

theyre funny and fun and a good person, they can be outgoing but not "loud" and they like a good meme

watercolour: talk about something someone you are interested in can do that never fails to make you find them attractive?

be funny, i guess. or just seem like a good person. but having a similar sense of humor is important

pine: if you could only smell one scent for the rest of your life, what would it be?

uh...food smells

pink eyeshadow: pasta or pizza?

pasta is just too important

icy: homemade or takeout?

i mean homemade shit is delicious but you also have to make it :( it can be a load of effort and takes a lot of fuckin space and ingredients and equipment and time

rosè: what’s your opinion on shyness?

its fine? im sympathetic to it

clouds: list your top 5 songs at the moment and how they make you feel

uhhh fior di latte is in my head the past couple of days, feels like a summery jam and a sunset song. what lovers do, feels like im bopping coz its a bop. well, thats all ive got at the moment

silk: list songs you listen to for a jam

god it varies on mood

white sheets: where’s somewhere you would love to travel to? why?

uh..................i guess i'd like to see a no-light-pollution night sky, b/c i love space and stars and itd be really cool to see the milky way

black nail polish: what do you do to pamper yourself?

it depends. its usually stuff like going for a milkshake at 1am

hidden beaches: do you prefer to hang out in a big group or one on one?

this doesnt come up much... if i like the whole group, i think groups are fun, but this has never really been the case. if its not one on one im generally ignored even in groups of three

crossed fingers: using no negative words, describe your hair.

short, brown, straight, thick, really fine in texture

mocktails: cold weather or hot weather?

for gods sake hot i absolutely despise cold weather

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

1-100 cute questions

:~)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?- more cereal than milk! it has to be crunchy and milk is fucking gross, even though i use almond milk instead

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?- FUCK yeah, especially if it's also sunny outside

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?- grocery receipts are the usual culprit. maybe i should make my own bookmarks!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?- rn i'm having sugar free white chocolate w half & half and 3 splenda

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?- i'm self conscious of my entire existence my friend

6: do you keep plants?- yes! she gave me and orchid and a bamboo plant a while back, and i have ian my aloe/succulent

7: do you name your plants?- lmfao yes, ian! she named the bamboo melman, and i never named the orchid. zack and sabrina are no longer w us unfortunately

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?- i used to write and draw a lot. i don't get a chance to do it as often now but i rly am trying more. i'll even try my hand at inktober this year but yikes scared bc i can't actually draw

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?- hell yeah bitch if i am in the mood for it

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?- all of the above? lmao. my back is most cozy but sleep paralysis, so a mix of side stomach like its a specific diagonal ass position on my bed lol

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?- "coming this soon"

12: what's your favorite planet?- FUCKING JUPITER BRO OMFG MY URL ARE TWO OF MY FAVE MOONS OF JUPITER TEST ME BITCH

13: what's something that made you smile today?- i don't think i've smiled today? maybe something michelle said earlier when we went to lowe's

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?- *takes pics of my current place*might have a little more aesthetic to it just bc location though. and if i live in a bigger city than orlando that means i have more money to REALLY fulfill my aesthetic wishes

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!- Recent work by planetary scientists has indicated that the deep atmospheres of Jupiter and Saturn may contain chunks of diamond floating in a liquid hydrogen-helium fluid. MEANING, it rains diamonds on jupiter

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?- permission crusted chicken, w angel hair in a lemon butter sauce

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?- i was going for a magenta over the summer and was p successful but my mom paid for me to not keep lightening and shit, that wasn't my money so idc lol rn its auburn-ish. i rly do still want a light blond/almost gray though

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.- the time i got incredibly drunk, like, throwing up and dying can't even walk drunk like wow i'm not like that lmao so when that happens it's wild

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?- i have multiple journals and a sketch book. the sketch book is whatever i feel inspired to draw atm and bc thats so rare i just be picking it up and going lmao. i hardly write anymore, these questions kinda keep me going

20: what's your favorite eye color?- light brown is vastly underrated tbh, like yeah green is cool but i have always been a sucker for hazel or just noticeably lighter brown eyes. i remember this one boy in the 8th grade had me swooning w that alone lmao and ofc my gf now its soo nice

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.- i no longer have it, but i had the same jansport since the seventh grade. i used to customize it and sew on letters or iron on, change it up ever so often, and got rid of it senior year of high school

22: are you a morning person?- i really am not, but everyone thinks i am since i'm up at 6am even the days i ain't got shit to do

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?- PLAY VIDEO GAMES. draw, do these questions, sometimes even brainstorm ideas about books i'll never write

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?- shit every single one of them? well nvm, yeah there is. jordan. that's my ride or die forreal and honestly i think she does know ABSOLUTELY everything there is to know about me. timmy too actually!

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?- hmm idk if it counts but this one "abandoned house" in the gables to smoke, and the rooftop of merrick park late at night

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?- bro i had these low top black and white converse that i got for christmas one year from this boy that rly liked me lmao i kept them for a hotttt minute, through college i think but had to throw them away when the sole finally gave out

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?- just mint is fine

28: sunrise or sunset?- sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?- just how she remembers and notices absolutely everything. i moved a pin in my room once and after not having been over for a week she asked me where it was as soon as she walked in

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?- yeah last night when i was home alone and i swear i thought i heard knocks on my bedroom door which would be impossible. fuck no i didn't open it

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.- i think socks are cool, they make my feet soft if i put them on immediately after showering & moisturizing. they protect your heels from getting too cracked as well. i don't care for white socks, but am a slut for black no show ones. i sometimes have to buy kids socks bc my feet are so fucking small that no show, still show. i like aesthetic socks! like the ones w cartoons and stuff like that. and knee high socks can be sexy, just maybe not on me?

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.- i don't be w friends like that? OH but this one night we went to see Laidback Luke at Space and then we went to Nikki beach to drink some more and watch the sun rise and we all rly bonded and i learned some shit about my friends i def ain't know before it was rly nice. there was a dog we met there named molly LMFAO

33: what's your fave pastry?- i like lemon and red velvet stuff. guava and cheese pastries are good too i miss them

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?- okay i didn't rly have any stuffed animals as a kid, but that boy i was obsessed with, omar, he gave me a plush lil puppy one year for christmas and omg i cherished it lmao. but then my dog got it and i was so sad :(

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?- FUCK YEAH I DO. i use them often, though not as often as before like i need to get back on track w being organized

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?- arctic monkeys, always

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?- clean!!!! i finished cleaning it completely today and wow i feel like a brand new person

38: tell us about your pet peeves!- messes stress me outtttttt, like gross unhygienic messes omfg

39: what color do you wear the most?- black bitch, next

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?- i have these 1/4 carat diamond earrings that i received as a christmas gift last year from one of my kids and it was just so sweet and i rly love them, they're the only earrings i wear now

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?- the zodiac series! and lord of shadows!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!- no i don't, not yet at least. i would like to find a rly rly nice one, maybe we'll go hunting for one next weekend. there are two rly good boba places i like though!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?- michelle maybe? and no gaze, we just noticed the starts were nice during that hurricane lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?- july 8, 2017 it was short lived limited to just that day lmao but it was nice

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?- some times? my instincts don't be telling me a lot tbh

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.- "what did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis"

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?- sea food? fucking pickles!! mustard too

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?- roaches, and possibly hell yeah

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?- i do! but i have apple music now so i do not buy music or anything any more

50: what's an odd thing you collect?- tickets. plane tickets, parking tickets, concert tickets, admission tickets, sometimes even receipts, if it has a nice enough memory attached to it i collect it

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?- nothing i can think of at the moment

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?- salt bae, all the "it" memes, the neo yokio memes, "i had to do it to em," x-files memes

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?- i'm familiar w rocky horror & the heathers, love beattle juice, haven't watched pulp fiction

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?- myself whenever i look in the mirror

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?- i don't rly be doing shit "just to prove a point" thats rly petty

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- love when their faces light up talking about some shit that gets them hype

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?- i rly don't fucking care for bohemian rhapsody like why is that a thing

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?- i am vodka aunt

59: what's your favorite myth?- I LOVE ALL GREEK MYTHOLOGY EQUALLY. norse mythology is cool too, as is celtic but i think greek is my fave

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?- poetry is hard to get into bc so much of it doesn't resonate w me or comes off as fake deep tumblr posts (i'm looking @ you milk and honey). howl by allen ginsberg is still my fave

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?- i'm always surprised to be getting any gifts at all, i don't think i have ever received anything "stupid." my gf used to love giving me food and candy though but like i'm fat so no. and i don't give gifts without putting any thought into it so i have never given a "stupid" gift either.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?- no, i drink ice cold water and coffee. sometimes crystal light which isn't rly juice to me i think its just flavored water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?- nigga YES! i just reorganized my entire bookshelf and my itunes is not as neat bc i'm behind but i also keep that rly meticulously done

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?- blue-ish gray

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?- my gf, lmao. thuy!!!! nick and andres too omg!!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?- not roses, it'd be an assortment of a ton of flowers, lots of pink and green and white

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?- i fucking THRIVE it's nice, scary movie and reading weather

68: what's winter like where you live?- it's FAKE AS HELL. i wish it just a tad cooler, like ten or fifteen degrees

69: what are your favorite board games?- i like scategories and the game of life. candyland!

70: have you ever used a ouija board?- those are caucasian activities no thank you

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?- great tea or tazo passion tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?- HELL YEAH and i'll note it down multiple times like written, typed, phone agenda, etc it's hard and i hate my shit memory

73: what are some of your worst habits?- procrastination is the worst i think

75: tell us about your pets!- i don't have any :( i would count zeus but i'm also deathly allergic to him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?- yeah!!!!! smh

77: pink or yellow lemonade?- "why not both?" probably pink more

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?- hate that shit they're so ugly and annoying and gross and hate how they talk like bro

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?- i never thought my mom cared about me tbh but she threw me a huge graduation/birthday party i cried.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?- they're a nude/beige, i didn't pick it but i'm also not painting over. its nice though

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.- this sounds nice in theory but i dont rly have the energy for it rn lol

82: are/were you good in school?- i was but i coasted, had i tried a lot harder and dedicated more time to it i could have been better

83: what's some of your favorite album art?-i can't think of any rly  

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?- i have to add to what i have on my back, and have a few more i would like but am not sure about

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?- i do! i'm actually reading one now on tumblr, its called countdown to countdown and its rather interesting. i like twd comics, and am also reading the OoT manga. i rly love manga too actually, inuyasha was the first one i read that got me into it

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?- BECAUSE THE INTERNET, CHILDISH GAMBINO

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?- i've seen a ton of movies dude. i think spirited away or kiki's delivery service, or princess mononoke. ghibli movies w strong female leads. howl's moving castle too but it does focus more on romance. i should reread the book

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?- i'm not familiar enough w art to tell you! i think art is rly interesting though, and don't particularly care for modern art

89: are you close to your parents?- not rly, but am more so as an adult. i don't tell them my business or anything like that though

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.- seattle just really resonates w me and the more i talk about it the stupider it sounds. but i have been to quite a few cities, DC, atlanta, Tallahassee, miami, san diego, vegas, the list goes on. none of them made me feel the way seattle does. maybe bc i went alone? maybe the time period that i went? some of the memories attached to the city kind of suck now, lol, but still rly important to me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?- nowhere in particular this year, but i'm def going back to seattle next year guaranteed, maybe doing paradiso

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?- if its my own sauce then no cheese at all, otherwise olive garden def hates me

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?- i just wash it and wear it down

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?- today is felisha's bday apparently

95: what are your plans for this weekend?- uh idk, ig see my gf. i'm avoiding a baby shower but idk what we'll do instead

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?- i procrastinate on them a ton lmfao "remind me later" yeah bitch in like a century

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?- INTP, gemini, ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?- i don't think i ever have gone hiking

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- i'm sure there are a few but nothing i can think of off the top of my head. reflection by 5h actually lol

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?- FIVE YEARS INTO THE PAST and five years ago is a rly good time to go back to!!! i was 20 and going through suchhhhh a bad break up but i wish i could have gotten up and been a bad bitch sooner lol i love the stuff i experienced that year, went to my first edc and whatnot. 2013 was rough on me but i pushed through it! 2014 i made some bad choices that i would change, 2015 wan alright but i can do it better and i'm not even sure what 2016 was. i would have started teaching sooner had i known it was something i could do i think. i would have worked harder and been more responsible especially financially, though tbh i did pretty well. i'd just do adulthood a lot better and start off a lot stronger. I WOULD REDO THAT LOCKHEED INTERVIEW AND ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF IT.