#gamzee log

[nonbinarygamzee]

kissy

[excalibur0]

gamzee showed up and i am ecstatic

[bonbongiveshell]

I did another clown pumpkin! This time it's Kurloz from @birchbow 's Price of Forgiveness, literally the best fic ever

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I know you've touched on it in your Gamzee Essay/general alternative timeline post but may I hear some more about your ideas regarding GamTav (or only Tavros)? You get these two in a way the broader fandom doesn't (which is fine, I'll still reblog even the most vanilla ooc art of them) so I'd really love hearing more of your thoughts:3

Ok, I think this is going to be someeewhat controversial, but I think they're destined for pale together, despite Gamzee's initial flushed flirting. I did in fact reread ALL of Tavros's logs for this.

I think the first thing we need to establish is that Tavros actually feels really shitty about himself. It's obvious that his problem is "self-esteem," since he's constantly prattling on about it, but there's a bit he says as Tavrossprite that's pretty enlightening as to where his actions stem from:

TAVROSPRITE: i SYMPATHIZE ENTIRELY WITH YOUR SOCIAL IMPASSE, cAUSING NOT GOOD REFLECTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF, tHAT MAYBE ALSO DOUBLE AS LIBERATING STUFF ABOUT YOU THAT YOU RANDOMLY DECIDE IS FINE SUDDENLY, TAVROSPRITE: oLD ACQUAINTANCES, aND GUYS YOU ONCE CALLED FRIENDS, TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE ARE VERY HARD, TAVROSPRITE: bECAUSE OVER TIME THEY GET EXPOSED TOO MUCH, tO ALL MY FLAWS AND INSECURITIES, TAVROSPRITE: aND THEY START LIKING ME LESS BECAUSE OF THAT, TAVROSPRITE: aT LEAST, tHAT'S HOW THE TRUTH FEELS, iN MY BRAIN, TAVROSPRITE: sO i START THINKING, mAYBE THEY CAN'T BE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME, aFTER ALL, iF i'M GOING TO WANT TO FEEL NOT SAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME,

He has a mixture of self-loathing and social anxiety, the latter of which exacerbates the former, as his mind tells him that his friends secretly hate him. However, his real problem is what he then does with those feelings - he avoids them and the situations that cause them. This causes two major knock-on effects: the first is that he actively ends up distancing himself from people who ARE nice to him and DO care about him, only adventuring with Vriska because he's a pushover and she's very pushy (he adventures completely alone up until that point, and winds up sleeping almost all the time afterwards); the second being that, because he refuses to actually sit with and address his negative feelings about himself (or anything else), he's never able to fix them, or remove himself from shitty situations.

Something consistent with Tavros is that every time he tries to make a decision before his death and Vriska-prototyping, it's by trying to rely on something external - whether that's his imaginary friend, his robot legs, or the story of Pupa Pan... or relying on advice from Kanaya, or seeking approval and forgiveness from Vriska, or earning flushed interest from Jade. He believes himself to be deeply flawed and untrustworthy, so he allows other people to make his decisions, and when relationships do get intimate enough that someone might get him vulnerable, he peaces out. Even his ill-fated attempt to kill Vriska is heavily encouraged by Vriska herself:

AT: aND THAT BEING THE CASE, AT: eVEN THOUGH i'M TERRIFIED OF YOU, AT: aND nOT AS STRONG, AT: oR REAL CONFIDENT, AT: oNLY MOSTLY FAKE CONFIDENT, AG: Yeeeeeeees? AG: Go on. AT: i THINK, AT: i AM GOING TO HAVE TO STOP YOU, AG: Yeah! That's the spirit. AG: Pretty weakslime threat there, 8ut it's a start. AG: Tell you what. AG: If you can find me in this la8, you can have at me. AG: I'll even give you a free shot! No funny 8usiness or anything. AT: oK, AT: tHEN, AT: hERE i COME, AG: I'll 8e w8ing. <3

As we see with Jade, whom he's attempting to flirt with flushed, he's actively trying to impress her using "self-esteems" explicitly gained from "fake" things he's acknowledging as fake - that is, refusing to be genuine and vulnerable with her, because he doesn't believe anyone would like him the way he actually is.

AT: bUT WHAT ABOUT, AT: mY ATTRACTIVE BRAVADO, AT: aND IGNORING MY INSTINCTUAL COWARDICE HARD ENOUGH TO SAY THAT i LIKE YOU, AT: iSN'T THAT, AT: sUPPOSED TO BE VERY ATTRACTIVE, aND ENCOURAGE THE MAJOR HAVING OF FLUSHED FEELINGS IN OTHERS, AT: i GUESS WHAT i MEAN IS, wHAT ABOUT ALL MY CONFIDENCE, AT: wHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT,

His "dating" Vriska in the dream bubbles is also dubious and one-sided at best, as John calls him out for faking it and Tavros isn't willing to bring up wanting the Ring of Life because he was planning to propose to Vriska. Thus, once more, he's attempting to use something disingenuous (in this case, a human proposal) to win another person's affection, which he believes would be a symbol of actualizing his "self-esteem".

We also literally see him do the "deciding someone wasn't actually important to you after all, so it hurts less when you cut them off before they can hurt you emotionally by noticing your flaws" thing with Nepeta - he actually quite likes Nepeta, and would certainly have enjoyed having her play the game with him, but he assures her that it's not a big deal basically immediately, and insists he'll just find someone else:

AC: :33 < tavros im sorry i cant be on your team :(( AC: :33 < im not allowed AT: oH, AT: tHAT'S OKAY, AT: tHEN i GUESS HE SAID NO, tHEN, ... AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps AC: :33 < but i still f33l bad AT: i'LL FIND ANOTHER PLAYER, iT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, AT: gOOD LUCK, bEING, AT: oN THE BLUE TEAM, AC: :33 < ok thanks :((

But, perhaps most strikingly, is the way he leaves his good friend Gamzee on read after Gamzee suggests... gasp... intimacy.

TC: WhEn wE Up aNd sTaRt tO KiCk aT ThIs rEd TeAm NoIsE, TC: YoU ShOuLd mAkE YoUr wAy tO GeT YoUr hAnG On aT My hIvE. AT: oH, yES, tOTALLY, TC: We cOuLd sPlIt a tIn oF ThE PiMpEsT SnEeZe i gOt oN HaNd, BaKeD Up aLl sPeCiAl fOr yOu. TC: AnD ThEn mAyBe mAkE OuT A LiTtLe. AT: uH, TC: ;o) AT: , AT: ,,

It freaks him out, and he's never seen hanging with Gamzee again. And this is a huge shame, because not only is Tavros one of the only people who is nice to Gamzee and appreciates his religious beliefs, but Gamzee is one of the only people who hears out Tavros's genuine insecurities and desires without making fun of him:

AT: tHE ONLY THING MORE FLY THAN THE RHYMES, AT: i'M SAYING TO EXPRESS ALL MY MALICES, AT: iS THE ABILITY HE HAD i WISH WAS MINE, AT: iNSTEAD OF i GUESS, THIS EXCESSIVE PARALYSIS, TC: (lOoK OuT FoR ThE HoOk bRo!!!) TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS! AT: bUT HIGH, iN THIS CASE, hAS DOUBLE THE MEANING, AT: iT MEANS HE CAN FLY, pLUS DOES HIGH SELF ESTEEMING, AT: tHAT'S TWO THINGS HE HAS, tHAT i'D RATHER WERE MINE, AT: hIS TWO FLAPPY WINGS, aND hIS BIG HEALTHY SPINE, AT: oOPS, AT: tHAT'S THREE THINGS,,, TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS!

(Compare:)

PAT: i'M SORT OF, lYING ON vRISKA'S FLOOR RIGHT NOW, PAT: lIKE, iN HER BLOCK, PAT: lYING DOWN, PAT: uHH, yOU KNOW, bECAUSE i CAN'T WALK, CCG: OH NO SHIT REALLY??? CCG: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

He isn't able to do a REAL self-confidence at least until he gives Vriska the bird and flies away, for the first time asserting that he thinks she's an asshole and doesn't actually want or need her validation or approval. After that, he's able to convince a ghost army to follow him using friendship and asking and niceness. Breath powers! Also Page powers! Also actual self-esteems! Although I don't personally hold anything after Game Over as anything more than soft canon, I think we can still see a fairly straightforward character arc reach a natural conclusion there.

But as to why I specifically think him and Gamzee are destined for pale, despite what appears to be flushed leanings from Gamzee's end, and despite the fact that I usually believe what the comic tells me, is because what brief few interactions we see between them are very much pale in nature, and it would be kind of narratively bizarre if Gamzee were set up to have a failed moirallegiance - the quadrant described as "soul mates" - without managing to find his real soul mate after. And who's it going to be? Equius? Or the guy that Gamzee literally says he feels "at chill with" talking to?

Gamzee kissing Tavros's corpse is often used as evidence for his desire for flushed, but I disagree - however Gamzee feels about Tavros romantically, kissing a dead player is how you revive them, so it reads to me - especially given how sad Gamzee is about Tavros dying - more like a desperate act to bring him back. Lest we forget, Terezi also gives it a try, and Karkat kisses Kanaya for the same reason - the reality that their extra lives are gone hasn't sunk in yet for these 13 year old kids, so they must try revival even if they know it won't work.

Moreover, Gamzee indirectly describes Tavros as his "best friend," after having called Karkat that through most of the game, and having an implied pale crush on Karkat during that time.

TC: YOU MOTHER FUCKING KNOW, BROTHER. TC: its the fuckin puppet. TC: THE ONE THAT'S ALL GOT TO BE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND I GOT NOW. TC: now that my other buddy managed to be having his head chopped off. :oC

Moreover moreover, what Karkat cites as being the cause of their moirallegiance's failure is Gamzee's religious beliefs:

KARKAT: HE STARTED GETTING SO UNBELIEVABLY SELF SATISFIED AND PIOUS, LIKE WAY MORE THAN HE EVER WAS BEFORE. KARKAT: LIKE HE'S JUST SO COMPLETELY CONVINCED HE'S FOUND HIS CALLING, THAT THIS SESSION IS THE GATEWAY TO THE PROMISED LAND WHERE HE'LL FULFILL HIS DESTINY. KARKAT: HE'S SO CAUGHT UP IN HIS IDIOTIC SCHEMES HE COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME ANYMORE.

Which are explicitly what Tavros invites Gamzee to speak on, and appreciates:

AT: yEAHHH, yOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE CLOWN THINGS, wHICH, AT: i DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND EVER, bUT THAT'S OKAY, AT: bECAUSE IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, AT: wHEREAS, i'LL ADDRESS SOME TOPICS PERTAINING TO MY INTERESTS, AT: aND i GUESS, pERSONAL MOTIFS, TC: YeAh! FuCk YeAh, ThAt Be HoW sHiT's AlL uSuAlLy Up AnD fUcKiN lOcKeD bRo. ... AT: dO YOU HAVE TIME FOR, mY MIRACLES, rELIGIOUS FRIEND, }:) TC: Do yOu gEt yOuR NoTiCe oN Of tHe mIrAcLeS AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, TC: FuCk yEs, HeReS WhErE ThE SlAm tUrNs tO NoThIn bUt hOnKs... TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk AT: HONK, TC: FuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuCk! AT: iT'S LESS APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO DO THE HONKS, tHAN YOU, bUT THAT WAS STILL GREAT, TC: YeAh, BrO. yEaH!!! AT: tHE SLAMS WERE TRULY PRIME, aND, AT: yOUR RELIGIOUS VIEWS, tHOUGH i DON'T SHARE THEM, aRE, AT: rEASONABLY INSPIRATIONAL, AT: i THINK i'M IN THE PROCESS OF RELEASING AT LEAST ONE TEAR,

But also in Tavros's single conversation with Gamzee, we see Tavros stand up to a highblood:

TC: :o) HoNkHoNkHoNkHoNkHoNk AT: }:o), hEH, TC: hAhAh FuUuUuCk, YoU sToLe My FuCkIn NoSe BrO! TC: WhAt GoT yOu EvEn Up ThE gUmPtIoN tO aLl FuCkIn Do ThE sHiT lIkE tHaT? AT: eRR, i DON'T KNOW, iT'S JUST, AT: kIND OF THE OBVIOUS THING TO DO, AT: sTICK THE CIRCLE IN FRONT OF THE DOTS, aND, bEHIND THE BENDY ONE, AT: pLUS, oH YEAH, mY HORNS, TC: hAhAhAhA. AT: mAYBE WE CAN SLAM ABOUT IT, ... TC: fUuUuCk, So FuCkIn FrEsH. TC: YoU nEeD tO bE sLaPpEd FuCkIn SiLlY wItH a MoUtH lIkE tHaT! hAhA. AT: aND, iF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, AT: tHEN i SUGGEST YOU GO AND RAP IT DUDE,

He feels safe with Gamzee, enough to take a bit of an attitude with him, enough to open up about his insecurities about his disability and how much he wishes he was like Pupa Pan, and Gamzee explicitly states he feels calm when he talks to Tavros, which is the stated function of a moirallegiance.

TC: Me tOo, BrO, yOu mOtHeR FuCkIn kNoW ThErE Be sOmE Of mY EyE's RoYaL JeLlY To gO WiTh yOuR EmOtIoNaL pEaNuT BuTtEr. AT: wHOA, aHA, hA, TC: ThIs iS BeAuTiFuL, dUdE, i fEeL So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu. AT: yEAH, fRIENDLINESS WITH YOU IS, pRETTY MUCH ALWAYS NICE, aND FUN TO HAVE,

And the thing is, trolls are constantly getting into moirallegiances when they want to be flushed (Eridan, Kanaya), having palecrushes when they want to be friends (Gamzee), and winding up flushed with their moirail (pale solfef is forshadowed in the same breath as pale erikar, and they don't seem to confirm a matespritship until after Sollux's actual flushed crush, Aradia, explodes). Especially for Gamzee, who was neglected by his lusus and struggles with social interaction to the point where he feels like he has to hide his real self (casteist beliefs, constant talk of religion and murder, which, by the way, come out when he talks to Tavros), it'd be easy for him to mistake the "instinctive attraction" of moirallegiance for the passions of matespritship.

These thoughts are all pretty disorganized - I'm really sorry, it's super late/early for me and I'm exhausted for other reasons - but I hope that that . was what you wanted? hahah

[still-capricious]

Mad Doctor's Mysteries

//closed RP with @dead-man-walking9999

[begin video log

Yo EvErYoNe. GaMzEe HeRe. WaNdErEd OfF tHrOuGh A dOoR iN tHe NeXuS aNd FoUnD tHiS pLaCe. I tHiNk It'S sOmEwHeRe In ChArGeStOnE cAvErN. aNyWaY, iT's GrEaT, lOvE tHe CoOl RoCkS aNd- HaNg On SoMeThInG's GoInG oN uP aHeAd

Gamzee points the camera toward an odd segment of cave, that opens as a group of hulking mechanical shapes comes to it. As Gamzee gets closer, it's revealed to be 3 robots and an old man, approaching another scientist

You're a difficult one to track, Nine, was it?

[ambrosianlullaby]

@davekatgnocchi Chapters: 3/? Rating: E Category: M/M Fandom: Homestuck Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor Dave Strider/Jade Harley - Relationship, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Jake English/Dirk Strider Characters: Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Rose Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Terezi Pyrope, Gamzee Makara, Aranea Serket, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Calliope (Homestuck), Caliborn (Homestuck), Jade Harley, John Egbert, Jake English, Jane Crocker Additional Tags: Dirk Strider and Dave's Bro Aren't the Same Person, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Humanstuck, Blood, Violence, Altered Mental States, Dubious Consent, Sexual Harassment, Past Sexual Harassment, Body Horror, Gore, PTSD Episodes, Panic Attacks, Possessiveness, Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol, Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Torture, Dave Strider Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Alternate Universe - Monster Hunters, Vampires, Fae & Fairies, Shapeshifting, Magic, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Male Character, Suggestive Themes, Awkward Flirting, Drunken Flirting, Drunk Sex, Roleplay Logs, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, The Homoerotic Implications of Vampire Bites, Bigkat, Species Dysphoria, Kidnapping, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Past Character Death, Minor Character Death

Obligatory Doodle (Unrelated to Chapter):

[mmmmalo]

Rambling.

The panels scattered across Scratch's floor tend to be thematically united, I tend to think. Page 4019 we see Dave v Gamzee, the Genesis Frog, and one of Terezi's Cool Kid edits. Though a representation of Dave, the Cool Kid's arms are held forward in a manner akin to the adjacent frog, formally inviting the comparison. The substance of their resemblance seems to be self-hatred: as Karkat declares Noir the cancer, a hostile self-division, Spades Slick gazes upon Bilious Slick through a veil of icy water, as though staring into a mirror with murderous intent.* This abstract image of self-hatred is grounded by Karkat's standard declarations of totalizing guilt. Meanwhile Gamzee introduces hostile objects into the dream chambers of John and Dave, thereby introducing antagonistic self-divisions into their psyches. This is paralleled by the "schizophrenic bullshit" Dave observes in Gamzee, his split-vocalizations and (perhaps more importantly) his sense that he has become what he hates: a non-believer, in his case.

I find it interesting that the link to the Miracles video that sets off Gamzee's crisis should exist on the same page as one of the comic's rare f-bombs ("lol @ u fagz"). It gives me the sense that Gamzee's role as heretic punishing non-believers collides with his role as one of the comic's gay homophobes -- Gamzee punishing Equius and Nepeta for swapping clothes (despite wearing Terezi's glasses) is my go-to example, though Karkat considerately calls Gamzee an "idiot in makeup" to remind us that clowns function as symbols of gender deviance. Might explain why Gamzee's log is bookended on either side with gay shit (kissing Tavros's head, flirting with Dave)

*it would be cool if this were why the frog head of the temple got replace by Bec's visage -- they were synonymous from the start. Bec's head is sort of drawn like a frog anyway, with the frogs rounded cheeks cut in half to suggest tufts of hair, the upward bulging, rounded eyes cut in half to suggest wolven ears. Bec's murder of the mystery frog would come to look vaguely suicidal, perhaps echoing Jade's perception of the death of Grandpa... anyway,

[homestuck-fanauthor-coalition]

Red 40

Red 40 (10655 words) by DavekatGnocchi, ambrosianLullaby Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Homestuck Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor Dave Strider/Jade Harley - Relationship, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Jake English/Dirk Strider Characters: Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Rose Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Terezi Pyrope, Gamzee Makara, Aranea Serket, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Calliope (Homestuck), Caliborn (Homestuck), Jade Harley, John Egbert, Jake English, Jane Crocker Additional Tags: Dirk Strider and Dave's Bro Aren't the Same Person, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Humanstuck, Blood, Violence, Altered Mental States, Dubious Consent, Sexual Harassment, Past Sexual Harassment, Body Horror, Gore, PTSD episodes, Panic Attacks, Possessiveness, Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol, Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Torture, Dave Strider Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Alternate Universe - Monster Hunters, Vampires, Fae & Fairies, Shapeshifting, Magic, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Trans Dave Strider, Trans Male Character, Suggestive Themes, Awkward Flirting, Drunken Flirting, Drunk Sex, Roleplay Logs, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, The Homoerotic Implications of Vampire Bites, bigkat Summary: Dave Strider is twenty-three years old, and for the past three years he has finally gotten to live a normal life; a retired monster hunter living in a town near the Rainbow Falls in New York. Though, it’s been a month since he’s even heard from his new best friend, and his old instincts tell him that, that can’t mean anything good.

For fans of supernaturalstuck / monsterstuck, this fic by member @ambrosianlullaby & our newest member @davekatgnocchi should scratch that itch! mind the tags, and enjoy the ride!

[soudakuwunmoment]

what’s the bald lore?

ok first of all was not expecting to log on to tumblr to see suddenly my post about bald homestuck characters fucking blew up. i was about to sleep but i guess its fuckin bald lore time. So, a while back I drew bald Sollux:

a few days ago, me and my friend qwert (@qwerty9537) were talking, and i mentioned "karkat probably doesnt know how to cut his hair and thats why its so messy" qwert said "shave him" and well i thought wouldnt it be funny if...

and of course i needed an image of what happened...

and so the cycle began. -character is shaved -character messages another character and says "youre next" -that character is shaved etc etc so, here is the full saga: (if you cant read image text, check the image descriptions!)

(fun fact this was the first time i ever drew john)

Thats it! yeah, sorry i missed aradia and gamzee:( by the time i did all the others, i just was too tired to do the last two and never got around to it also, this is the first time ive drawn most of the characters, so many of them look awkward or wonky. feferi was my least favorite lol so yeah! the full lore of the bald homestuck characters>:)

[the-troll-book-of-mormon]

got to the first equius x gamzee interaction last night, and that shit is definitely one of my favorite logs so far. making @roseliker's fiance voice equius being hatehorny for my gamzee was legitimately so funny and i can't wait to make them do it again

[chronologicalhomestuck]

karkat pov liveblog: hivebent, part 2

and im back! in the present, apparently.

But not too far into the present. Right around this moment, with Karkat and the toilet, during a conversation we have already read...

which was in my previous post. since im doing this in a LOGICAL and REASONABLE order.

AG: Hey 8rave leader. CG: OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME. AG: Can I join your team? CG: YES I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, BECAUSE THERE IS A WIDE OPEN SLOT FOR THE MOST VILE BACKSTABBING SOCIOPATH WHO EVER LIVED.

hello, vriska.

CG: I'VE GOT THE BETTER SCOURGE SISTER ON MY TEAM AND IF YOU BREAK YOUR TRUCE YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER TO HER. CG: THE FUNNY THING IS SHE WAS ALWAYS WAY BETTER THAN YOU EVEN WITHOUT ANY POWERS. CG: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I KNOW YOUR WHOLE STORY.

i suppose i might as well play dumb about this. terezi and vriska have history, now do they? what might this entail?

CG: HEY LOOK AT ME BEING THE ONE TO TALK SHIT AT WARP SPEED THEN LOG OFF BEFORE YOU CAN REPLY. CG: BYE, IDIOT. carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] AG: Oh, 8ack so soon! Did your thum8 slip on the 8utton???????? AG: I guess you can't get enough of me. AG: ::::) CG: YOU MADE ME DO THAT. CG: AND YOU KNOW IT. AG: You 8n't got nothing on me and you can't prove shit!!!!!!!!

and then this bit that is WAY funnier than it has any right to be. hey this isnt relevant but look at this animation of this scene. onto nepeta!

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip arsenicCatnip [AC] CG: HEY. AC: :33 < *ac perks up curiously* AC: :33 < *she wiggles her rear end a bit and then chases something she s33s bounce into one of karkats shoes* CG: KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE HAS TO SINK THIS LOW. CG: KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S ASKING AN AUTISTIC GIRL IN A CAVE TO JOIN HIS TEAM.

the drama of attempting to build the team continues. oh karkat i know youre trying to be ableist but she probably doesnt notice its supposed to be insulting. on account of the autism. that she has. and wonders why hes stating this fact. (#relatable)

CG: OK, BRIEFING: CG: ME, TEREZI, GAMZEE AND TAVROS ARE ALL PLAYING NOW. CG: THE CONNECTION ORDER IS AT -> TC -> GC -> CG.

not bad progress on planning this! i feel like the pacing is more obvious from this perspective. like we rlly gotta get all these guys into the medium asap! karkat is already in there though and i think all these team member shenanigans have been distracting him...

jack has come across this little shouty troll kid. naturally, being jack, he wants to stab him...

stab him he does.

karkat is pretty unconcerned with this injury and is just being a pretty miserable mess about the possibility of his blood being discovered.

poor kid. apparently jack thinks that this is the saddest thing hes ever heard. yeah, karkat is such a pathetic crybaby that this fuckin guy who loves stabbing people feels bad for him.

pretty interesting how much it resembles the blood symbol, huh

this alone makes karkat immediately imprint on him like a baby chicken since hes apparently a very weird kid.

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

ok the actual extension puts something else after this but im skipping it for now. to maintain the best chronology im skipping to this conversation with vriska. he rants to her about quadrants, then tells her about jack.

CG: I MEAN HE'S JUST STANDING HERE NOW. CG: WAITING FOR ME I GUESS. CG: BUT IT'S OK, I THINK HE'S PRETTY MUCH SETTLED DOWN. AG: Settled down? CG: WELL, HE STABBED ME ONCE. AG: Oh, only once! AG: Are you sure you should trust him? I don't know if I would, 8ut hey I'm not the leader. CG: NO, NO, IT'S COOL. CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE?

honestly i always read vriska's "only once" there as sarcasm but then i met someone who read it as a genuine reaction and thats just as funny. whether vriska is being like oh a little stabbing is fineeeeeeee or shes being like what do you MEAN only once dude. both are funny.

AG: Doesn't Trollian have some kind of viewport feature? CG: YEAH BUT I'M PRETTY SURE ONLY SOLLUX KNOWS HOW TO SET THAT UP, AND HE'S BEEN INCOMMUNICADO FOR HOURS FOR SOME REASON.

sollux isnt answering (dead and going on dream adventures) so they dont get to set up their trollian viewports until they get to the veil. whoops im getting ahead of myself. and of the timeline.

CG: JUST GET YOUR ASS IN HERE SO WE CAN DETHRONE THIS GODDAMN QUEEN. CG: IT'LL MEAN ONE LESS GOD BOSS WE HAVE TO FIGHT. AG: Fine, I'll be right there.

and we are planning to take down the queen!

just so this doesnt get too long im gonna continue this in another post.

[fuckmarrykillpolls]

QNA WITH THE BOSS

a list of questions our followers were kind enough to send in. you can send more and i'll add them in reblogs.

who's intern dave?

that's a complicated question. simply put he's my older brother who occasionally logs onto my main blog to post dumb things, and since he's discovered he has even more reach here, he's been posting even dumber things. intern nick, my oldest brother, never signs off his posts, but he's here too occasionally.

have you ever read any discworld books?

no, im basically illiterate. i read mostly shampoo bottles and soup cans.

have you actually read homestuck? who was your fave character?

like three times, yeah. once alone, twice out loud to my siblings. im going to probably read it a fourth time to my partner now like five years later. and my favorite character is gamzee. this isn't a joke.

how old are you?

too old to be doing this that's for sure.

favorite color?

pink.

favorite movie rn?

the 1990 teenage mutant ninja turtles with elias koteas as casey jones.

most shocking poll? most shocking results?

most shocking poll was the hadron collider. most shocking results... probably the amount of people who wanted dad egbert dead.

what's your main?

can we hear more about communism gun?

no, i don't like him

my main is @cluuny. i'm a lot funnier over there

[theboysbevibin]

Who the fuck decided to make another pinned?

Hey hey, we are The Boys. A bunch of jackasses navigating bills and a 9-5. Sometimes we post about it. Not much else to say. Main account is @signofthestriking. If we left an odd tag on your post, it's likely just one of our organizational tags. Pay it no mind.

We are not an endo system. If anything about our spirituality or our refusal to call ourselves traumagenic are too "endo" for you, you can suck my dick and maybe balls too. -Rat

Anything syscourse-related will be tagged with #ratman rants and #syscourse if you need to block them. Hopefully that won't be common.

Under the cut: Rent lowering gunshots, role call, label collection, and a userbox collection.

x

Rent lowering gunshots:

The two headmates with "quoted" names are using aliases. We will not be revealing their in-system names on this blog for cultural reasons.

Syscourse isn't much different from any the other online shitcourse. There's heavy ableism on both sides. If you actually care, start calling out your own.

As per the DSM-V, trauma is NOT a diagnostic requirement for DID. It is mentioned in Criterion B, with regards to gaps in memory recall, but it is not a requirement on its own.

Furthermore, to quote page 294, "Dissociative identity disorder is associated with overwhelming experiences, traumatic events, and/or abuse occurring in childhood". That does NOT mean that trauma is a requirement to be a system. Association is not the same as requirement.

Beyond that, the DSM-V and the psych industry are not the be all, end all of what does or does not exist in people's minds. If someone finds that rationalizing themselves as "more than one" helps them make sense of their mind, fine. Maybe it's to cope with hardship, maybe it's tied to spirituality, maybe it's simply how their brain works, maybe they do it deliberately. Let them be a system. They're not doing any inherent harm in rationalizing themselves that way, and if they want terms like "endo system" to describe themselves, fine.

All that being said, there are many criticisms we could make regarding the online system community, and that does apply to the online endo community. People need to stop spreading misinformation purely because it supports their side of the discourse. People need to remember that this community is not a fandom, and that you need to take your systems seriously. People need to stop "building" headmates for random strangers on Tumblr. People need to remember that you can't just cherry-pick something out of an East Asian spiritual practice simply because "it's open practice". You can absolutely talk about these problems without getting into pissing matches about who is or isn't a system. And if you can't do that, maybe you're not cut out for this kind of discussion, regardless of what you're diagnosed with.

Role call!

Jack Nox (Just Dance fableing, host), #rose of eternyx Saffron (DBZ AU fableing, host) #bitten hands "Snow" (DBZ AU fableing, host) #dutiful servant

Rat (co-host, facet, protector/persecutor) #eyes abounding Adrien (co-host, facet, factive) #friends forever

"Pink" (post-fictive, facet) Ash (post-fictive, facet, protector) Aspen (post-fictive, facet) Vinny (post-fictive, trauma holder, facet) Hera (post-fictive, protector, facet) Lilith (post-fictive, archivist and scribe, facet) #a scribe's thoughts Marcy (post-fictive, facet) Rose (post-fictive, facet, little) Fae (post-fictive, facet) Rev (post-fictive of Raditz, facet) Olera (post-fictive, stress holder, facet) Blue (post-fictive, facet)

Vegeta (DBZ soulbond) #royalty renounced Trunks Briefs (DBZ soulbond) #lilac and steel Son Gohan (DBZ AU soulbond) Son Goku (DBZ soulbond) #hey! it's me Bulma Briefs (DBZ soulbond) #research log Tien Shinhan (DBZ soulbond) Piccolo (DBZ soulbond) Chi-Chi (DBZ soulbond) Krillin (DBZ soulbond)

Terezi Pyrope (Homestuck soulbond) #tastes like cherries Gamzee Makara (Homestuck soulbond) #miracles all around Vriska Serket (Homestuck soulbond) #8 of dice Karkat Vantas (Homestuck soulbond) #righteous rage Nepeta Leijon (Homestuck soulbond) #teeth and claws Equius Zahakk (Homestuck soulbond) #blue blooded steed Dave Strider (Homestuck soulbond) #turning tables Eridan Ampora (Homestuck soulbond) #sharpshooter of the seas Kanaya Maryam (Homestuck soulbond) #not your darling Rose Lalonde (Homestuck soulbond) #notes from the grimoire Sollux Captor (Homestuck soulbond) #twin thoughts

Label collection

Mixed origins

Adaptive

Dreamway

Seelegenic/metagenic

Median

Chimera/hybrid

Soulbond

Fableing

x /

[starsnores]

i used all my twitter time on my phone this morning, and i'm not logged in on my computer anymore so. Kurloz wanting to watch gamzee fuck meulin.

[centi-pedve]

finally got to equuis's introduction and like. we were all ah he seems like a gent. a bit rude but so are all the trolls. dunno why people don't like this guy (in universe). n then we got to the log with gamzee and its like WHAT is going on with this guy. is he GOOD ?

[fiendingforalover]

Cant sleep keep thinking bout au. Like idk if ive posted about it here but ive made a post somewhere about karkat trying to use the tech in gamzees room and getting real frustrated bc its all coded to gamzee and wont work for him. He cant even break any of it bc its so tough. And i was thinking of that plus karkats slow realization the this is TC. Its not a sudden realization. Just lots of little things. His habits, how he talks, the small parts of his past he reveals. But he wants to be sure so he asks hey can i browse on your computer and gamzee says sure so he brings up his chat logs, old apps, and eventually. Ah. He finds their old logs stuck on the last messages, the desperate alternatingly pleading begging and angry threatening messages that gamzee had sent when going through his withdrawl. And he sits and stares and tries not to think about how he should feel.