#genuinely baffled by this . it’s not like i’m confrontational

[mywitchyblog]

Can someone please explain to me who the hell is so upset with me that they’ve resorted to going into other shifters' ask boxes as an anonymous user and started bullying them in my name? It honestly baffles me that someone would stoop so low. If you have an issue with me or something I’ve said, be direct. I’m not one to hide behind anonymity or drag innocent people into something they have nothing to do with. If I had a problem with you, trust me, I’d say it to your face. I don’t need to hide in the shadows.

Now, there are only two possibilities for what’s going on here, and neither of them reflect well on the person responsible:

The first possibility is that this person is intentionally creating drama by sending themselves an anonymous ask. Maybe they’re looking for attention or trying to stir up conflict where there is none. It's sad, honestly, if that’s what’s happening because it just shows how far some people are willing to go to manufacture chaos.

The second possibility is that I’ve managed to piss someone off to the point where they’re now impersonating me, using my name to spread hate and start fights in spaces where I’m not even involved. If this is the case, I can’t say I’m surprised that someone would go this route rather than confront me directly, but it’s still frustrating. I don’t hide from criticism, and I won’t shy away from addressing issues head-on. But to use my identity in such a toxic way? That’s crossing a line.

To the person this happened to (I found out about this through a mutual, and I want you to know that I’m aware), I am truly sorry. I hate that this situation has dragged you into something you didn’t ask for, and I genuinely wish it hadn’t happened. But let me be absolutely clear: it wasn’t me. I did not send those messages, and I would never engage in that kind of behavior. It’s not how I handle things, and it’s certainly not how I treat others.

You are fully entitled to your own opinion, just like I’m entitled to mine. I’ve never denied that right to anyone, and I wouldn’t start now. We don’t have to agree on everything, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to attack you for your perspective or allow someone else to use my name to do so. That’s not how this works.

And just to set the record straight for the final time: I am not a pedophile, nor do I endorse, encourage, or support anything related to that disgusting behavior. It’s beyond insulting that I even have to keep repeating this, but here we are. In fact, I went out of my way to age myself up by a few years or to completely discard the DRs that felt problematic or uncomfortable. I’ve always been mindful of the spaces I navigate, especially when it comes to shifting, and I’ve made conscious decisions about what I’m comfortable with.

If you’re unhappy or confused about something I’ve said or done, talk to me like a human being. Bring it to me, and let’s figure it out. Don’t jump to conclusions or, worse, involve other people who aren’t even a part of the conversation. It’s cowardly and completely unnecessary. This whole thing could’ve been avoided with a little bit of maturity and honest communication.

At the end of the day, it’s honestly pathetic to bully other people just because they happen to have a different opinion than yours. Why are you so bothered by someone else’s perspective that you’d go out of your way to hurt them or cause unnecessary drama? We’re all individuals here, and our experiences with shifting, our journeys, and our beliefs are going to vary. No two people will see everything the same way, and that’s okay. It’s actually something to be embraced. What’s not okay is tearing each other down because of those differences. That only reflects poorly on you and shows how little respect you have for other people’s paths.

So, let’s try a little harder to be civil and respectful. You don’t have to agree with me, and I don’t have to agree with you, but at the very least, we can treat each other with decency.

[un-pearable]

sincere question what is it about me that has made two seperate people 3 years apart ask me if i do roller derby

[vigilskeep]

I'm curious what you don't like about dao Leliana? If you've got any posts about it could you please point me in their direction?

i probably have posts somewhere but god knows where they are now. i will present a little overview

and to be clear, because i know this website, this is completely a matter of personal taste in writing and character, i am not, um, cancelling leliana dragonage or having anything but appreciation for those who like her, i am saying i probably wouldn’t want to hang out with her. i am also not attempting to convince anyone or justify anything, i am explaining my own feelings since i have been asked about them. i am going to use language that sounds a little overly harsh because i am trying to express those feelings succinctly without making this post very long by apologising and minimising with caveats about when i do like her

i find her a little grating. i find her characterisation based on her backstory irritatingly inconsistent, with genuinely confusing naivete for someone with a supposedly hardened backstory. she’s a literal bard, and she’s always always on the back foot in dialogue with quicker thinkers who can easily shock and scandalise her, and she believes horrors are too ugly for anyone to write about (literal bard!). i’m also vaguely baffled by the amalgamation of vibes they went for visually, like, idk for example, repeatedly mentioning the supposedly ragged boyish hair of someone incapable of understanding a lack of interest in high fashion and who expresses friendship by talking about nice shoes and hair specifically. it makes me struggle to buy into her as a character, and i find her hard to picture.

i think her compassion for others rings fairly false, possibly just on a poor voice acting level; if they wanted me to believe in it from listening to her dialogue when she chimes in during side quests, they got it wrong, i don’t. those bland comments, as cloying on the tongue as artificial sweetener instead of real sugar, are a let-down when i could have someone more entertaining in the party. i hear her talk and think: i wish i’d brought someone else. and her kindness is often shallow, buying into prejudice easily when left unchecked. which is again, weird for a character whose entire concept is being more worldly than she appears. part of that backstory is also definitely growing up mostly surrounded by elven servants, which makes those biases in that direction even more notable to me than they otherwise would be. she’s someone who’s absorbed in her own internal struggle yet who has never noticed the struggles of those around her until directly confronted. i am constantly disappointed by the missed opportunities with her character, like her mixed cultural identity barely being discussed in a game where the backdrop of the ferelden-orlais conflict being under-explored is to me one of really very few big storytelling mistakes, or like her mechanic where you can ask her about wherever you are—a really fun idea, for a bard!—and she literally never not once has anything interesting to say. like, come onnn. im the worldbuilding enjoyer. hit me with something

some of this is going to be affected also by me having spent the most time with her as my surana, who happens as a character to be a natural born hater, and also predisposed to share some of these feelings. i do find dao leliana much more fun to hang out with when playing a non-elven, non-mage character, but given the in-world context, that in itself is perhaps not a glowing recommendation? (obligatory note again, i am not up in arms that this fictional character has fictional prejudices against fictional people and i in fact think this part is good writing that suits the world. the version of her i adore is, after all, in dai when she has done significantly more wrongs including against elves and mages specifically.) it’s more that kindness should be what leliana has going for her as one of the most prominently good-aligned companions, and i don’t believe in hers. if i’m committing to this being me disliking the character rather than disliking some writing flaw, i could say that i read her compassion as a performance, and that’s something i happen to never really like in a person or character: when they act because they want to look like a good person, and feel like a good person, rather than because they truly care about the impact of their actions. maybe i don’t prefer her in dai because she’s somehow better written; maybe she just drops that mask i don’t care for. hard to say!

also her personal quest has some of the worst writing and acting in the game i never want to hear marjolaine again. please.

[starskytohutch]

STARSKY VS HUTCH in season 4 is a really weird episode… because the entire episode? Just feels like Hutch trying to use Kira to make Starsky jealous. Or like he’s repressing things about either personal insecurities, or Starsky (wether that be platonic, romantic, or almost being jealous of Starsky as a person). It doesn’t even really feel like Hutch likes Kira, but rather wants her to fill something within him

“We’ve got starsky to consider”

“What about starsky”

The scene that particularly gets me is when Starsky admits he’s jealous of Hutch, snd all of a sudden Hutch gets happy, his happiness doesn’t come from Kira but from Starsky being jealous. It almost like validation that Starsky thinks he capable of that or that Starsky thinks of him in such a high regard or on that same playing field. But as soon as Starsky admits he loves her, his face drops, he’s upset that Starskys in love with her. And when going to Kira’s house, again, he’s not upset that Kira’s in love with Starsky but upset that Starsky in love with Kira. Am I crazy? Or like do you guys kinda feel my point? Maybe? No?

The way he is completely ready to just ditch her as soon as she says she loves starsky. He’s like “ok, yeah, that’s that.” But until he realizes she’s playing a game and he can too, does he give in… like for Starsky this feels a lot more like a genuine one on one relationship but for Hutch this is a consideration of Starsky and a reflection for himself. He just allows Starsky to beat him up too- Kira thinks theirs two sides, Starsky thinks his love is between him and Kira alone, and Hutch just thinks about Starsky and what he can do to make this about him and Starsky.

Very strange episode- how do you all feel about it? I feel it’s saying something about Hutch a lot more then the surface level. I think starsky through out the entire show is a very loyal, personal, romantic guy, so when watching this episode, I feel a lot more volume about Hutch and his own character and what exactly this reveals about him. He feels insecure, like he’s using his “player” style to avoid confronting his own personal problems, like he can’t help himself.

ALSO THE ENITRE FUCKING ENDING!???? Choosing each other over anything? Like getting over this petty dispute!?!? I just feel their is so much to over analyze, interpret, and dissect in this episode. (Maybe I’m crazy and reading into things, but it’s really fun to look at this episode through different lenses) I don’t have the time nor the intelligence to do it- but I just find this episode intriguing!!!!

ALSO ALSO ALSO!!!! At the very end scene- they wore matching outfits. And had specific lines to say to Kira to reject her. So they resolved this WAY before meeting her, they were like 4 steps ahead of her? So they fully met? With Kira? Just to rub it in her face? That they would prefer each other to a love triangle… baffling. Just baffling.

[madamsnape921]

Dr. Daddy

Pairing: Frederick Chilton x female reader 

Warning: Sugar Daddy/baby

WC: 1847

Raúl Taglist: @beccabarba @alwaysachorusgirl @law-nerd105  @prurientpuddlejumper  @welcometothemxdhouse @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @lv7867 @word-scribbless 

@plaidbooks @storiesofsvu @navalcriminalimagines

You grew up in a small town, but after completing grad school you found yourself in Baltimore. You landed a 9-5 job in your field and stuck with it for seven years, until the monotony of your daily routine became too much to bear. Every morning, you dragged yourself out of bed, went to work, and returned to your dingy and empty apartment. Once in a while, you would go on a date that either ended disastrously or was unbearably dull.

Eventually, the day arrived when you could no longer tolerate the situation. You had already prepared a resignation letter, and it felt good to put your thoughts into words. The letter was printed out, signed, and handed in right away. With your head held high, you left the office and made your way home. But as soon as you changed into comfortable clothes, the full weight of reality hit you.

You slumped onto your couch as your thoughts raced. You had impulsively quit your job without a backup plan. Thankfully, you had enough money saved up to last you through the month and maybe even the next. But what were you going to do now? You grabbed your phone and started scrolling through job listings. The more you looked, the more nauseous you felt. The idea of going back to another 9-5 job made you cringe. What other options did you have? Maybe starting an OnlyFans account? No, that wasn't something you felt confident in doing. But perhaps you were on the right track with exploring alternative paths now.

Over the next few weeks, you devised a rough strategy. You had recently begun selling photos of your feet on the internet and were pleasantly surprised by how profitable it was. You may have benefited from the money, but the process didn't really matter to you. Thus, you continue to seek out a more efficient way to make a living.

After a few months of wandering aimlessly since quitting your job, you finally found a solution. You made the decision to become a sugar baby. After signing up on a reputable sugar website, you waited for potential matches. And then, like magic, there was a notification.

Dr. Daddy: Hello, I stumbled upon your profile and was immediately intrigued. Your confidence radiates, but there is also a softness to you that draws me in. Your eyes sparkle like precious jewels and your piercing gaze demands attention. I’m Frederick.  

SmutSlut: Hello, Frederick! My name is YN.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life was amazing! It had been almost a year since you first met Dr. Frederick Chilton. You spent most of your time attending social events as his "arm candy," and when you weren't out and about, you were having wild, passionate sex. It baffled you why Frederick didn't just pick someone to settle down with. After all, he was incredibly intelligent, undeniably attractive, and an exceptional lover. 

Your new apartment was incredibly luxurious, and you had never owned such an extravagant wardrobe before. Frederick had made it clear that he was the only sugar daddy you could have for the entirety of your relationship. He took care of all your expenses and spoils you with anything your heart desires. Everything seemed perfect, except for one small issue...you were starting to develop genuine feelings for him.

After much internal deliberation, you make the decision to confront Frederick about the issue. The worst that could happen is that he breaks things off, and you'll have to rebuild yourself and start anew. You send him a text message, mustering up the courage to address the situation head on.

YN: Frederick, I need to talk to you. 

Frederick: …

YN: It’s really important. 

Frederick: I can’t talk right now, YN. 

Well that was weird. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been three weeks since you received the final text from Frederick, and your heart still aches. You've tried reaching out to him several times but have yet to receive a response.

Each passing day feels heavier as you struggle to comprehend Frederick's sudden disappearance from your life. The once vibrant and exhilarating world he introduced you to now feels dull and empty without his presence. You find yourself questioning every moment spent together, trying to decipher any hidden signs or warnings of his impending departure.

Despite your best efforts to move on, thoughts of Frederick consume your mind. His absence leaves a void that seems impossible to fill. Every knock on the door sends a jolt of hope through you, only to be met with disappointment when it's not him standing on the other side.

One evening, as you sit alone in the lavish apartment that once felt like a sanctuary but now feels like a gilded cage, a knock breaks the silence. Your heart races with anticipation as you make your way to the door, desperately hoping it's Frederick returning to explain his absence.

To your surprise, it's not Frederick standing there but a courier holding a small package. Confusion clouds your thoughts as you accept the package, thanking the courier absently before shutting the door behind you. Your hands tremble slightly as you tear open the package, revealing a sleek black box with an ornate letter 'F' embossed on the lid. Your heart pounds in your chest as you slowly lift the lid, revealing a stack of letters neatly arranged inside.

With trembling fingers, you pick up the first letter and unfold it. The elegant handwriting is unmistakably Frederick's, and your breath catches in your throat as you read his words. In the letter, Frederick explains that he had to leave suddenly due to unforeseen circumstances beyond his control. He expresses his regret for not being able to explain in person and admits that he never intended to hurt you.

Tears blur your vision as you read through the rest of the letters, each one detailing Frederick's feelings for you and his struggles with his own emotions. You realize that he had been grappling with his growing affection for you and had chosen to leave to spare both of you from potential heartache in the future. The weight of his words sinks in, and a mix of emotions swirl within you.

Despite the pain of his absence, you find a sense of closure in Frederick's letters. His vulnerability and honesty touch your heart, and you can't help but feel a bittersweet gratitude for the time you shared together. As you read the last letter, a gentle knock on the door startles you.

You set aside the letters and cautiously make your way to the door, unsure of what to expect. With a deep breath, you open it to find Frederick standing there, his expression a tumultuous blend of emotions.

"YN," he begins, his voice soft yet filled with intensity. "I had to come back. I couldn't bear being away from you any longer." His eyes search yours, seeking understanding and forgiveness.

For a moment, silence hangs heavy between you as you take in his presence once again. You struggle to keep your emotions in check as you realize he is using a cane, a new addition that sends waves of emotion through you as you process the change in his appearance.

"Frederick," you whisper, reaching out to touch his shoulder, "what's happened?"

He takes a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "It's been... not easy. There were complications, YN. Injuries. But I'm okay now." He forces a smile, but you can tell it's strained. "I missed you, more than I ever thought possible."

You feel a surge of relief and happiness amidst the confusion and worry, but also a mixture of sadness and fear for the unknown. "What does this mean?" you ask, unsure if you're ready to face the future together.

Frederick reaches up and cups your cheek, his fingers gentle yet firm. "It means," he says softly, "that I want to be with you, no matter what. I know we have a lot to discuss and figureout, but I'm willing to face it all with you. I just can't imagine being without you anymore."

His words send a wave of warmth through you, and you find yourself leaning into his touch. "I don't want to be without you either," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

As you stand there in each other's arms, you can't help but wonder what the future holds for you both. With Frederick back by your side, the world seems a little less dark and a little more full of promise. You know that whatever comes next, you'll face it together, hand in hand, ready to conquer any obstacle that stands in your way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frederick made his way to the couch and carefully set down his cane. He then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, revealing a perfect erection that made your mouth water. As he leisurely stroked his cock, he gazed at you with an intense stare. "Come here and suck Daddy's cock, little girl," he commanded.

 You hesitated for a moment, then approached the couch, your eyes never leaving Frederick's. With trembling hands, you reached out and wrapped your fingers around his thick shaft. As you began to stroke him, your other hand made its way up his body, caressing his chest, and eventually finding its way to his nipple.

Frederick's eyes rolled back in pleasure as you gently pinched his nipple, causing him to moan softly. His hand threaded through your hair and guided your head towards his erection. With a mix of devotion and anticipation, you opened your mouth and took his dick inside, savoring the taste of his precum.

As you sucked and stroked, Frederick's breathing grew heavier, and he began to thrust his hips, guiding his cock deeper into your throat. You gagged slightly at first, but the more you tried, the more Frederick pushed, until you found yourself choking on his member, your throat constricting around his girth. Frederick's breaths shortened, and his grip on your hair tightened, both of you caught in this intense, primal dance.

You pulled back, gasping for air, and Frederick's eyes met yours, filled with hunger and approval. His cock twitched in your hand, glistening with your saliva and precum. With a lustful growl, he pulled you up onto his lap. Without any warning, he pushed your panties to the side and plunged his member inside of you. 

“You okay, angel,” Frederick asked, concerned for your well-being.

You gasped, trying to catch your breath. “Yes, Daddy,” you managed to breathe, your body responding to his every touch.

Frederick's fingers found their way to your clit, rubbing it roughly as he thrust into you. Your nerves were set ablaze, and you could feel the familiar tightness building within you. Frederick knew just what to do, and soon you were arching your back, moaning in ecstasy as you climaxed.

Frederick kept up his relentless pace, and just as you thought you couldn't bear it any longer, he groaned and tensed, filling you with his warm seed. You both collapsed onto the couch, your bodies still joined together, hearts pounding in sync.

[starboysbrainrot]

hey,

i know that you don’t talk interact with character metas a lot in the atla fandom, but i’ve seen lately that you’re very defensive of characters like Zuko & Jet, which is unusual in this fandom because Zuko/Jet stans tend to demonise eachothers all the time, so it’s a bit surprising to see your blog

so if i may ask, what’s you honest thought on these two characters ?

read under cut cuz it’s pretty damn long

hey anon

first, thank you for your ask ! it’s always a pleasure to discuss things about atla :)

as you rightfully pointed out, I tend to avoid interacting with most atla metas. but I don’t mind responding to some of them.

now to answer your question, I wouldn’t say that it’s particularly a rare thing to be fond of both Jet & Zuko as characters… and I sure as hell wouldn’t call me a stan. I like them, yes, but I like them as characters who are both traumatised war teenagers stuck in their violent & toxic behaviour and who try to be better at the end of their character arc. I certainly don’t like them because I think they did nothing wrong or idk what else.

and tbh, some Zuko stans have a way of demonising Jet that I absolutely hate, while Jet stans rarely openly hate him, they can be critical of Zuko’s character, yes, but they’re often way more nuanced and levelheaded. although I’ve seen some big ass bullshit coming from both stans but what’s new, we’re in the atla fandom after all…

now if I had to be honest : they’ve both terribly written in the second half of their character arcs. and don’t shoot me down before I finish talking, I swear I don’t completely hate the way they’re written, only a part of it.

like Jet ? BSS redemption arc ? him helping the gaang ? working actively on his traumas after his brainwash ? great idea, love it, but terrible execution. his death is tragic but the aftermath is a fucking joke. the gaang only mentions him again two times, first in the TSR, to point out that he was a lunatic that killed innocent people (….ok) and in EIP (probably the one episode I hate the most in the whole show) to mock his death with the most apathetic “you know, it was really unclear” from Sokka ?? fucking hated every second of it. but on paper ? love the character, he’s literally my comfort character alongside with Zuko and I cherish him deeply. I really wished that his character arc would have been written differently but now what’s done is done. and don’t get me started on how mf imperialist warlord Iroh is painted in a golden light in opposition to the 16 yo orphan boy from the mf oppressed side of the war that died under a mf lake. how so many people are painted in a better light than Jet. Jet being canonically demonised in show pisses me off. what’s the point of concluding his redemption arc in season 2 only to compare him to a killer lunatic in season 3. make it make sense please.

now if I had to be honest about Zuko… I’m a book 1 & 2 Zuko enjoyer. he was at his peak at that time and although there are some episode I genuinely like in book 3 that handle Zuko’s character, I genuinely hate a handful of them. (like The Firelord & The Avatar) his redemption arc was working until book 3. it was meaningful, logical, COHERENT, until book 3. and I think his arc’s weakest point is mf Iroh. cuz I may not be a Iroh anti but boy do I have beef with him. yes Iroh, maybe not only giving tea but actively deconstructing your nephew propagandist ideas about the world imprinted in him by years of living under the roof of the mf firelord COULD BE A GOOD IDEA. yk, being on sea with a 13 yo and not trying to work on his imperialistic mindset baffles me. ignoring his internal turmoil in BSS instead of confronting him about it baffles me. it’s not only that Iroh is a shitty uncle, it’s also bad writing. because the show praises the hell out of Iroh for something he didn’t really do (helping Zuko’s redemption arc). book 3 Zuko has such a shitty way of portraying his redemption because of Iroh’s omnipresence. like no, Iroh is not part of the redemption. also, the show painting Zuko as a character having to repair the damage of his forefathers, the show painting azula as an unredeemable monster, while mf Iroh is adored by the gaang and lives his best life in Ba Sing Se after the war is absolutely stupid and downright ridiculous.

now that being said… I love both characters, like I said. I also love to imagine possible scenarios about how the arc could have been handled differently. (Jet joining the gaang, Jet never being left by the Freedom Fighters, Zuko joining the gang in season 2, Zuko trying to bond with his sister, etc)

I’ll always hate the missed opportunity of finalising Zuko’s redemption arc after meeting Jet, cuz that would have been a possibility. that after meeting Song, Lee, Jin, Jet, after seeing all the pain in the EK, all the pain in the world, he finally turns his back on his father. Jet would have been kind of the last part to push Zuko to choose the right path. instead we got “I betrayed uncle” and okay I’m just going to forget Zuko Alone, and Zuko’s whole ass BSS arc, where apparently I was suppose to understand that IROH… had been such a prominent part of the redemption arc.

anyways, both Jet & Zuko deserve better from the show & the writers.

(side note but also I hate the fandom depiction of both characters !!! y’all can’t actually be serious cuz if you can’t choose between either demonising/babying mf 16 yo (as if… a middle ground didn’t exist, yk, as if… characters had… layers…) then idk what I can do for y’all.)

[randomfoggytiger]

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas In-Depth (Part III): Mulder Imprisons Himself

Picking up where Part II-- explaining how Mulder is Scully's ouroboros (really proud of it, actually)-- left off, Part III separates Mulder from his crutches (Scully and speedy legs) and forces him to confront a mountain's worth of unresolved emotions.

This episode is a very Mulder-centric exploration of the depths of his loneliness and fear, a parallel and precursor to Scully's deep-dive in Milagro. Scully does have an arc-- realizing her reticence feeds her partner’s fears and doubts-- but it’s not the in-depth excavation of the soul in the same way that her partner’s is. 

Without further ado, here we go!  

The doors that Scully had banged on over and over opens without trouble for Mulder; and the two of them stumble into the adjoining room… which is a mirror of the previous room they were in. Their terror momentarily melts as they stare, baffled, at their surroundings, pivoting automatically to cover each other's blind spots: while Mulder peeks back into the first room, Scully eyes the next. The two then swap their searches, taking in what the other had seen. 

In another gesture of partnerly mind-reading, they stalk over to another door, testing their theory without a word exchanged (with Scully boldly leading the charge and Mulder filing close behind.) 

“Alright…” Mulder stumbles, “I’m beginning to uh--”

“Yeah,” Scully agrees.

“--get this.” 

She cuts through his indecision (because her mettle rises when Mulder’s flounders) making an effective route of attack: “You go through that door. And I…” here she pauses, wondering if she wants to commit to this “split up, gang!” plan. 

“I should come out…” Mulder drops off, miming his mental configurings rather than finishing the sentence. 

Neither of them looks comforted or convinced by this mutual scheme; but he makes a hammed-up face to lighten the mood before taking off, and even turns back to give her a genuine “here we go” smile of encouragement before stepping through the door. 

Mulder doesn’t come back in. 

After quietly searching the vacated room for a second, Scully hastily retraces Mulder’s steps, calling for him just as he starts yelling for her, too. The slam of both doors stops them in their tracks, yet another jump scare in this unending night of spooks. 

Mulder’s annoyance snaps him out of his supplicating hands pose (having expected either a righteously furious little spitfire to come racing after him or an equally frightening appearance from the entity playing games with them), and he stomps back to sort out whatever new problem Scully’s gotten herself into this time. Falling back is no help, since his partner has vanished from the house entirely. 

“Scullaaaaay!” he yells. 

And when no Scully answers, Mulder’s Panic Face ™ really sets in. 

NOW Mulder is ripping at doorknobs and banging on doors. 

“Scully, can you HEAR ME???” Mulder yells. 

But there is silence from her. And while it’s not an “I’m fine” or “I want to be alone” or even a “What do you want me to say?”, it still hits that core fear of Mulder’s: Scully’s withdrawal, silence, departure from his life. And here is when (after shooting the lock to smithereens) he hits the brick wall-- the one, as Maurice later explains to him, he built and chooses to keep up between himself and his partner. 

A crucial detail that changes how one fundamentally views the characters: at this point, the episode makes it seem like Scully has been lost to or trapped by The Horrors-- or, in a meta sense, her own reticence, fear of commitment, etc.-- with the camera framing Mulder as the rescuer trying to find his way back to her. Why this is interesting is because Mulder is about to realize he is the trapped one-- caged in by his own walls-- not Scully. Scully, meanwhile, realizes her eye-rolling routine is a front even to herself, and she does want to be “out there with you"; and she hadn’t realized how bone-deep and crushing Mulder’s loneliness was, too easily disguising how much being with her partner means to her. 

“Hey!” yells another voice; and Mulder flips around, gun still drawn. When he sees it’s a friendly (if annoyed) old man, he puts the gun down and begins to interrogate the stranger. 

Maurice treats the situation like a completely normal circumstance, flicking on the lights casually and blustering like a disgruntled homeowner. “This isn’t one of those ‘home invasions’, is it?”  (A very specific choice of words there, Chris Carter.)

Mulder-- brain short-circuiting with the overload of twists and turns-- is aggressively taken aback, outright scowling in bewilderment and answering with short, hostile responses. 

“Good. Would you like me to show you the door?”

Here Mulder gets really sarcastic, sensing a game with words and snapping that the jig be up. “That’s very funny,” he says with smooth, deadly intent. 

Maurice throws him off the trail with honest lie: “I wasn’t making a joke.” This loosens up his interrogator, who points at the door with a petulant “Have you looked at the door?”  

“Uhuh, I’m lookin at it now.”

“Tell me what you see,” Mulder pop quizzes. 

Maurice knows this game, tucking away his enthusiasm as he proceeds to spin the younger man around. “I see a door.” He adds a pointed, “With a lock shot off of it.”  

Mulder gives an “oh, is that so?” head nod, amused despite himself at Maurice’s practical “You gonna pay for that?” 

“That is a door with a brick wall behind it.” 

“Oh-kay. Sure,” Maurice placates-- as we know later, plays into Mulder’s paranoia by lacing his words with doubt and denial to basic facts. It’s a trick that Mulder, as a person painted as paranoid his whole professional career, is used to; and it doesn’t deter him… at first.  

“...You’re playing tricks on me,” he comprehends. 

“If I am, I’m sorry-- I don’t know any tricks.”

Mulder is correct here (though he sounds like an overly suspicious nutcase): “Yeah, well, that’s a trick in itself, isn’t it? You’ve been playing tricks on us since we got here.” 

It’s natural for Mulder to naturally include Scully with an “us”, something which Maurice picks up on and uses to his advantage.  

“Am I to take it we’re not alone?” (I see you, Chris Carter.) 

Mulder laughs heartily at this on-the-nose-but-out-of-left-field answer-- “Ahh! That’s very funny, coming from a ghost.”   

Maurice roars with laughter, clapping his hands together; and surprises Mulder so suddenly that the other jumps back, hands raised and finger pointed in warning. Ghosts, it seems, terrify him just as much as Scully. 

The old ghost brushes off Mulder’s theories, handwaving them away as ghost hunting tomfooleries. Mulder sees the way the wind is blowing and doubles down on his questions. 

“Strange folks?”

“Mhm.”

“Like those strange folks under the floorboards--” he’s halted in the midst of his Poirot gotcha by the glaring lack of dead bodies in the middle of the room. Walking over doesn’t seem to recover them from thin air, either; so he’s simply left with a new question: “How did you do that?” 

“I didn’t do anything.” 

Mulder makes a couple word-adjacent noises before eeking out, “Th-there were corpses here-- bodies… buried under the floorboards.” 

Victorious, Maurice sidles up and asks, “Why don’t you have a seat, son?” 

Mulder does. He answers Maurice’s clipped inquiries (“You drink? Take drugs? Get high?”) with his face buried in his hands, embarrassed and questioning his own sanity. (Where’s his one-in-five-billion when he needs to be believed?) 

A funny little note: Mulder answers straight 'no's to the first two questions, but squeaks out a surprised “no” at the “get high” question; which implies he was surprised anyone would think he’d try drugs (I guess ketamine and holes drilled in his head don’t count as recreational, do they?)  

“Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you?” Maurice asks, voice level even as he reaches his selling pitch.  

This rouses Mulder, drawing him up into a prayer-hands pose before his own ‘god’ of divination. 

Of course, his oracle would be a trickster disguising himself as a professional in the field of mental health. “...I specialize in disorders and manias related to pathological behavior as it pertains to the paranormal.”  

Mulder’s impressed. “Wow, I-I didn’t know such a thing existed.” 

Here Maurice lays out his and Lyda’s goals: “My specialty’s in something called ‘soul prospectors’: a cross-axial classification I’ve codified by extensive interaction with visitors like yourself. I’ve found you all tend to fall into pretty much the same category.”

“Hm,” Mulder hums in interest before suspicion sets in. “What category is that?” 

“Narcissistic, overzealous, self-righteous ego-maniac.” 

Mulder sarcastically asks, “Wow. That’s a category?” 

Maurice glides over the other’s flippancy. “You kindly think of yourself as single-minded,” he continues, his voice the only sound in the deathly silence, “but you’re prone to obsessive-compulsiveness, workaholism, anti-socialism-- fertile fields for the descent into total wacko breakdown.” 

Now the old ghost is correct (so correct that I wrote a post about Mulder’s Freeze-Flight response in relation to his trauma and workaholism here); but it's remarkable that Maurice knows just enough terminology to fudge his way through the rest of his speech... and that he's deft enough to turn Mulder's careful open-mindedness against himself.

“I don’t think that pegs me exactly,” Mulder tries to laugh this assessment off… but he doesn’t decry all of it. 

“Oh, really?” Maurice doubles down. “Waving a gun around my house? Eh? Raving like a lunatic about some imaginary brick wall?”

Mulder looks back and forth, stress heightening when the metaphorical rope knots more and more tightly around his throat. 

“You’ve probably convinced yourself you’ve seen aliens.” 

The knot loosens as Mulder’s defenses rise up, another wall guarding that particularly sensitive spot. 

Maurice anticipates another slough-off, cutting in before his patient can morph from pursed lips to full-fledged quip: “You know why you think you see the things you do?” 

“...Because,” petty Mulder responds, “...I have seen them?”  

Maurice sends his point securely home with a somber tone. “Because you’re a lonely man. A lonely man… chasing paramasturbatory illusions--”

Mulder is both horrified at this picture of himself and struck by the other’s phrasing (his “WHAT” face is priceless); and his expression freezes in an attempt to betray nothing.  

“--that you believe will give your life meaning and significance which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere.” 

On Maurice goes as Mulder’s self-doubts pile higher and higher: “You probably consider yourself passionate, serious, misunderstood, am I right?” 

The camera has been focusing primarily on Mulder’s clasped hands this entire monologue, his own face slightly out-of-focus in the background. Even his deflection (“Paramasturbatory?”) can’t save him from the scrutiny of the camera (let alone a bloodthirsty ghost) as it pierces through his defenses and exposes how tightly he is gripping to denial through fear. 

“Most people would rather stick their fingers in a wall socket than spend a minute with you.”

“ALRIGHT,” Mulder, burned, sits back and dismisses the conversation as fast as he can. (Note: This hit him right in his Fe Inferior-- see Typing Post here-- which is about his fear of being emotionally rejected or painted as a bad person. It’s how Phoebe Green, Diana Fowley, and now Maurice manipulates him into self-doubt and despair.) 

“Now just, uh…” He is visibly wounded, his special stressed-Mulder-smile stretching across his face as he is dragged into himself by invisible weights of pain. It’s sad how quickly he can pivot from such a blow, proving that Mulder is too used to bouncing back from blows to soldier forth and carry on: “Now just back off for a second--” 

“You spend every Christmas this way? Alone?” Maurice badgers. 

“I’m not alone,” Mulder insists, recovering some clarity and buoyancy in his voice. 

“More self-delusion.” 

Mulder’s Panic Face ™ is back, briefly shaken but firm in his conviction. “N-no, I came here with my partner. She’s somewhere in the house.”

Ah, yes, that partner that he hasn’t heard from in a couple of minutes.  

“Behind a brick wall?” Maurice states. 

Yes, Maurice, behind a brick wall-- the one that he keeps carefully caulked and grouted. 

I’ve already discussed this ad nauseum, but it’s always been Mulder that holds Scully at arm’s length, not the other way around. Since the beginning of their partnership, she has stepped over unspoken boundaries for a closer bond-- teaching Mulder how to hug (see here), struggling with his stagnation and her wish for more from their relationship (see one of my Never Again analyses here), bringing a celebration to his motel room post cancer (Detour), cuddling up to and getting rejected by him (Arcadia Part II and Part III), and finally ratcheting up her advances in desperation from her own loneliness (Milagro Part I, Part II, and Part III.) Scully’s problem has always been her blustering front while on cases, being “dragged” away from her normal life without admitting she wants to be exploring the unknown with Mulder. Because of this, he fears she’ll decide enough is enough one day, leave, and go on with her normal life, the pattern having been set with her S1 date in The Jersey Devil and continuing into her S7 'illness' in Requiem. 

Mulder acknowledges Maurice's point against his will, a tight, false grin cracking across his face and trying to (again) nod the sting away. However, he can’t think up a remark fast enough, stuck in a slow, bobbing motion reminiscent of a dippy bird.  

“How’d you get her to come with ya-- steal her car keys?” 

The fight is sapped right out of him. All Scully’s actions during this... delightful trip are cast in the worst light; and his own actions as unwarranted and unbearable-- and worse, unwanted. The thought that his partner hadn’t been secretly liking his cajoling and teasing and pranking and wheedling throws fertilizer on the ugly weed of self-doubt and reproach that Mulder naturally fosters towards himself (again: his Typing Post goes into this in more detail.) It’s a dangerously depressing thought, one Mulder can’t fight against.   

“You know why you do it,” Maurice persists, “listen endlessly to her droning rationalizations. Because you’re afraid. Afraid of the loneliness.” 

It all makes a tangled sort of sense; and Mulder-- as the boy who woke up in the middle of the night, terrified he was alone and as the man who ran through D.C. after accidentally wishing himself the only person left on Earth-- can’t deny that, either (at least, not completely.) He simply stares, clubbed and dazed. 

“Am I right?”

Mulder is beaten, and wants to leave the conversation, this house, these memories as fast as he can (as usual.) Once the spell of the newest chase is broken, Mulder will always turn around to look for his partner (who is, hopefully, somewhere close behind him.) “I’d just like to find my partner.” 

The old ghost praises him: “Gooood. Easy. Piece of cake.” 

Mulder’s tight little nod, tighter smile, and narrowed eyes show his utter lack of patience; but his mood is temporarily muddled when Maurice stands up and walks straight out of the open, wall-less door. 

“Brick wall?” Maurice points at the open doorway; then points towards his head. “Or brick wall?” 

The shot frames Mulder’s head next to the pointing thumb, separated only by the few feet from the doorway (metaphors, similes, allegories, etc.) to freedom.

“Go ahead!” the old ghost urges his victim. “Change your life!” 

Mulder looks genuinely touched, having had his walls (metaphorically and literally) attacked and torn down in this vicious siege; and he is not a Mulder if he is not rationalizing cruelty or abuse in the name of help or love. He can see the beauty in the profane, the tarnished; so it’s not a leap to see the good behind the intentions of a tough, twisted talk. 

Still, he looks very childlike in his over-sized jacket and shirt, tilting his head in doubt while awaiting a swift reprimand for trusting someone else in his life. But he ultimately does trust. 

…And walks full force into a wall, his nose (which Sanguinarium reveals is his greatest insecurity) taking most of the brunt: egg on his face and a bruise on his ego. 

Then the lights flicker once again, signaling Maurice’s departure. Mulder freezes, the reality of the situation settling down around him once more; then scowling as the lightning only now picks up as well. Very convenient lightning, that.  

Thus ends the first time Mulder is forced to sit and face what he has always been dodging: his world-weary desperation to be validated before the denial and mind-manipulation of the whole world (i.e. Pusher, Demons, Kitsunegari, Folie a Deux-- the epitome-- and soon to be One Son, Field Trip, The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati, etc.) his imprisoning loneliness, and-- most importantly-- his fear of not having Scully’s equal dedication and love to him, not just to debunk his work (as he will bring up at the close of this episode.)

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[somnas-writes]

Okay sorry if this is weird lol but in your "the bodyguards should have been friends" post you mentioned a fix-it fic and I am very intrigued- Is there anything about it you want to talk about?

Yeah!! I have a lot I want to write about (even though I haven’t finished the show, I’m already brain rotted)

The Theerapanyakun boys dynamic is one thing I plan to change/mess around with.

They would be genuinely unstoppable if they teamed up, but their dads (derogatory) are hellbent on keeping them isolated and in survival mode

They are all incredibly emotionally unavailable as well (they got HELLA trauma)

There’s five of them and I think each combination would have really different interactions/bonds

Khun, Kinn, and Kim are pit again Vegas and Macau their entire lives (major vs minor family feud, Korn and Gun being SHIT DADS)

They’re hostile because that’s what they were taught.

My plan/outline has them going through really big emotional break throughs (they get put in Situations and are forced to Confront their issues)

And as a result they band together

I also just want them to have good family relationships cause they deserve it

They bodyguards get to be Friends

I get that they had certain relationships and dynamics because it helped drive the plot

But holy hell imagine how uncomfortable that workplace setting was

Like big and Ken specifically hated Porsche. He hates them too, but it was an incredibly unhelpful thing

They all had their own duos (arm-pol, big-ken, Porsche-Pete), but as a group they could’ve had an great dynamic

Especially since they work for the same guys!! They get how crazy the work they do is, and they all know how these guys behave

They don’t even have to be besties (they aren’t for most of my rewrite) but for the sake of working smoothly they need to at least be casual and comfortable

I’m making Big work through his little crush on Kinn too

he and Porsche get to discuss what it’s like pursuing Kinn. it is something they should talk about, Kinn is a shared aspect of their life and having that grudge of “my crush chose him, not me.” Is just soooo petty and not healthy

Also Ken isn’t the traitor because I like him, he’s funky

Porsche and Chay are Good Siblings

I hate how they kept each other in the dark about huge things in their life

I understand (both as a younger sibling and as an older sibling) wanting to protect your family and not see them hurt. But it’s part of life!! Stuff hurts and it happens

They have a pretty special dynamic, with Porsche basically raising Chay

I wish we could’ve seen them being close siblings more in the series, I love the little montages we got of them together

But I think it’s missing that key part of them being unabashedly Honest and Real

Especially since Porsche choosing to become a bodyguard impacted a lot of Chays life. The one constant and stable figure of his life disappeared overnight and he had no way of contacting him

Porchay was alone during one of the most vital times of his adolescence. Porsche was isolated during a big change in his

In the rewrite, I want them to be more open about what they’re experiencing

They’re also just more ‘sibling like’, they go to annoy each other for fun, they work together against people because they’re a team.

One specific scenario I’ve been thinking about is Chay seeking out his brother to just be with him. (The scenario I’ve been envisioning is Chay walking into Kinn and Porsches room just to stare at him, dance Gangnam Style, turn off the lights and leave. I want Kinn to be absolutely baffled and Porsche to be Just So Done)

They’re siblings!!! It’s so fun to bother your siblings

Korn and Gun DIE

Im the second biggest Korn-Anti (Kim is first)

They’re Bad Parents and Shit People

They tear people apart just for their benefit and I’m Over It

I want these mfs DEAD AND BURIED

Kim deserves to stand at his dads grave, talk shit and walk away

I want their kids to heal!!! They deserve to be happy, even if 3/5 of them are Gigantic Meanies

And some silly little details for fun!!

Porchay is a Kpop stan, I’m a Kpop stan so I’m projecting (he makes Porsche watch music videos with him and they learned a dance together once)

Porsche (pre-mafia) was involved in a variety of activities (street racing, dance battles, catering, modeled once or twice)

Porsche can do street dancing, learned when he was like 11 and it became his go to dance style

Porsche and Chay have matching tasers (Kuromi and My Melody respectively)

They bond over sad music (Olivia Rodrigo, Lana Del Ray, Taylor Swift and Mitski)

Chay likes Sanrio

Chay gets his own ‘stage name’ (its Serpent, he wanted a cool sounding one like Phoenix)

Macau shows up more, no particular reason I just miss him

Jom and Tem show up more towards the beginning (they’re Porsches ride or dies)

Big also speaks English (while Ken is Aussie, he’s got a bit of a English accent)

Kinn really likes snoopy (he has a snoopy blanket from Khun that he hides)

Khun makes the bodyguards (main 6) dress up as the sailor scouts at some point. They all fight over who gets to be Sailor Moon (Ken won and actually ate it up)

A lot more name calling and cursing, I’m talking fun ones!! Porsche calls Ken and big lots of names when they’re rivals. (‘Mean girls’, ‘Dick riders’, at one point ‘Jack and Jill’)

Kim is into lots of alt-rock, pop-punk, and alt-indie American bands

his music as WIK is nothing like any of that. It’s just Jeff saturs discography (in my mind I’m mixing in other solo artists, mainly eric nam and RM) [i have a lot of brain rot regarding music]

Kinn is a LOSER (/pos, affectionate) he deserves it

The bodyguards get drunk together and make a tier list on which Theerapanyakun boy is the most likely to get canceled and why (ignoring mafia activities) [i might make this a post later lmao]

While they’re getting drunk Porsche falls and eats shit, big loses it and cries from laughing (that’s their little break through moment in their friendship)

[pyrrhiccomedy]

I watched Alexander two nights ago but like, Oliver Stone’s third (??) director’s cut of it, the one he did in 2014, and I’d never seen any version of Alexander before, because I’d always heard it was bad, obviously, and ridiculous, and Colin Farrell wears that indescribable Princess Diana wig

and I’ve been thinking about it ever since

like don’t. don’t get me wrong it’s still. it’s a bad movie. and you probably couldn’t find a single person on earth who wouldn’t be offended by some part of it, like whether it’s the “he’s gay because his mom is horny and domineering” part, or the weird, unnecessary almost-rape scene between him and Roxanne, or the “I’m taking my Asians and I’m LEAVING,” or the whole thing where Alexander the Great, a man who famously put all of the men from entire cities to the sword and sold all of the women and children into slavery, was just a sensitive boy who wanted to ~explore the world~

and yet

and yet

there’s something compelling about it, Oliver Stone’s frustrated third attempt to wring what surely must be a good movie out of this mess of footage. because there is a good movie in here, somewhere. 

I watched this as part of a double feature with Troy (2004), a movie long-time readers of my blog know that I’m obsessed with for its absolute anodyne wrongheadedness in almost every aspect of its creation. No part of Troy seems to understand why any particular decision was made, from casting to camera angles to set design to script. 

Alexander is a baffling, confusing, horny compilation of scenes that run one into another without regard for logic, or pacing, or indeed that pedestrian demon “chronology,” but it understands why it was made. It has the feeling of a child’s idea for a story they had before they fell asleep last night, and that child is now excitedly telling you every detail they can remember, out of order, unconcerned with how you, the listener, will receive their vision, because they feel that something very important is being said. Some parts are too long, and don’t make sense. Characters you have never met before are killed onscreen in dramatic confrontations, and then the movie impatiently doubles back to eight years ago to tell you who that was and why you should care. They just, like, skip the entire conquest of Egypt. Like literally in one scene Alexander has been sent into exile by his father the king, and in the very next scene, Alexander is king of Macedonia and has already conquered Egypt and is now about to finish his conquest of Persia. Why. Why. Anthony Hopkins sometimes steps in to explain events that you would much rather have watched unfold on screen. Colin Farrell still never kisses Jared Leto. Maybe it was a contract thing. That doesn’t seem likely. Both of those dudes seem like they would have been down for an on-screen kiss in 2004. I don’t know.

So it’s not a good movie. But it’s a movie genuinely fascinated by its central figure. I may not understand what’s happening from scene to scene, but I understand what’s happening to these people. I understand why all of these characters are screaming and howling and beating their breasts. I understand why I, too, should be fascinated by Alexander’s Alexander. 

I wish there were more movies like it. It’s weird, and bad, and everyone’s putting their whole cunts into it. It gets into weird arthouse territory a few times, it trips over its own feet and blunders into a kind of surreal brilliance. It’s like having a kind of racist dream about the medieval romance of Alexander, where you wake up compelled by the core, vivid images, while simultaneously asking yourself, “Orientals? Did I really call people ‘orientals’ in that dream? What the fuck?”

I might sit down and watch the second director’s cut, the one that’s three and a half goddamn hours long, because I get it, Oliver Stone, I think I understand, there is a movie worth watching in this mess. I kind of want to find it, too.

[c0rpseductor]

cannot even articulate how pissed i am about this thing i remembered

when i was really little my dads mom got me and my two younger cousins matching Easter presents. they were cute little junk plushies, like, these little easter ducks in different colors, and i got really attached to mine and named him mr. ducky. i lost him one day and was really upset about it.

EXCEPT!!! fucking. UGH. i really don’t like making a huge habit of talking about this but im going to Blow Up and it’s my blog. id been switching a lot recently with a part that’s a little kid and remembers more about my/our childhood, so i remembered or found out or whatever what actually happened to the toy and im like. livid.

my parents openly complained in front of me that my grandma shouldn’t have gotten me more toys because i already have too many stuffed animals basically the minute she was out of earshot. they used to be real fucking anal about the amount of stuffed animals i was allowed to have, and make me go through them all every so often to donate because they didn’t like them taking up space (i had a lot but never enough to cause any kind of problem, it was purely fucking punitive bc they knew it would make me sob for ages). so they hated my duck already. and then he went missing and they didn’t try to help me very much and were just kind of like Oh well! Maybe he’ll turn up haha! <- FUCKING UNBOTHERED.

and some time after initially losing my duck i got taken to goodwill and saw a suspiciously identical duck in the plushie section my parents wouldn’t let me have. im like. Dead sure they took and got rid of it bc they thought it was just junk and i didn’t need more toys, and pretended they hadn’t, bc they had a petty fucking grudge against a toy my grandmother got me. FOR EASTER. fucking whooooo does that to their kid.

of course i’m so incandescently pissed i want to confront my mom about it but of fucking course nothing would come of it bc it’s insane. but it’s not really About the toy anyway. it’s like. how much do you have to resent your child to take their treasured belongings in secret? how little regard do you have to have for your kid to do that kind of horseshit? it baffles me. sometimes they could genuinely do such nice and thoughtful stuff but then other times they would do shit like this. and of course they were also horribly abusive but im just so fixated on this bc it’s new and like. i don’t get how you can even pretend to like your kid so convincingly when you have this level of simultaneous disdain for the fact that he’s a child who draws breath at all. god forbid our son have toys. Jesus Christ

[theajaheira]

delayed convoluted thoughts on the btvs s2 finale under the cut!

so i didn’t really have the chance to say this while actually watching (was too caught up in giles!) but i feel like becoming pt. 2...kinda rubbed me the wrong way? i spent pretty much every episode of season two watching it like the obvious issues with the buffy + angel relationship were on some level being taken seriously by the show, and got so caught up in how interesting and text-supported the reading is of angel being a shitty older boyfriend that i actually kind of forgot how the season concludes it. i’m really not sure what to make of that. like, i only have eyes for you underlines the age difference and the power difference in such a fascinating way, to the point where it felt (to me, at least!) like a much more excellent culmination of emotion than the buffy/angel scene at the end of becoming pt. 2. it genuinely baffles me that the show itself leans into this idea of buffy/angel as a tragic romance, and so much of season three + the season two finale hinges upon the viewer having sympathy for them, but personally, i just...don’t.

and becoming pt. 2 reinforces that angel/angelus division by having buffy recognize, love, and kiss angel, when it’s so much more interesting to question the reality of that division instead! there are shades of angel to angelus, and vice versa. angelus is at first unaware of the fact that he is in love with buffy until i only have eyes for you forces him to confront this. angel is defined by his determination to compartmentalize his monstrosity. and, yeah, i get that we are intended to believe in the soul/no soul dichotomy at this point in the narrative, but it’s really hard to look at this plotline within the larger context of the show and take it as simple as it’s being presented. ESPECIALLY with episodes like i only have eyes for you, b+a interactions where angel will regularly treat buffy like a child, etc.

angel’s return in season three though DEPENDS upon this rigid adherence to the soul/no soul notion, because otherwise his re-integration into the group just isn’t possible! he has to be completely separate from his crimes as angelus, because if he isn’t, someone who is at least on some level responsible for murdering jenny and torturing giles is being allowed to sit at the table WITH GILES. and idk man as someone who has never pretended at subjectivity here and absolutely aches for what giles goes through in season three even if we’re looking at angel thru the most positive light possible, i am not having a fun time with this whole “buffy and angel are true love" thing. it just makes me sad about giles.

and juuuust for the record -- i actually really like buffy and angel as a concept! i just think that the concept they were teasing is so much more rich and interesting than the concept that we get. i don’t love the idea of the show agreeing with buffy’s notion of “buffy & angel 4ever” and i feel like it sort of alternates between leaning into it and skimming the surface of this baffling, compelling, heartbreaking connection between two people who are just both so devastatingly lonely. i really really want a timeline where the tragedy isn’t that buffy and angel can’t be together but that buffy doesn’t see angel the same way that she did before all of this happened. i love the thought of that half-baked metaphor in season two continuing into season three -- buffy wants to be with angel, always has, always will, but is now confronted with the actual reality of the kind of shit he’s done and is not sure how to reconcile that with the blurry romantique image she was leaning into pre-innocence. instead of having her fighting how badly she wants to be with him, i think it would be so fucking compelling if she was fighting how badly she doesn’t want to be with him. 

BUT MY MEMORY OF THIS SEASON IS WOBBLY SO MAYBE MY MIND WILL CHANGE. (please god let it change i can’t take a whole season of being sad about giles and mad about jenny).

[jacquelinemerritt]

Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 56 Review

Originally posted September 4th, 2018

A somewhat overstuffed, but still delightful and funny, episode.

“Deities, Devils, and Doing the Dirty” is easily one of the most tightly packed episodes of Dragonball Z: Abridged, mostly by necessity, since it has to cover all of the remaining events that take place before the start of the #CellGames. How effectively it manages to fit all that plot into its relatively short 16 minute runtime is questionable, but while the pace feels a bit blindingly fast at points, Team Four Star here ultimately still manages to fit it all in without making the episode feel overstuffed.

Picking up where the last episode left off, is the continued story of Chi Chi trying to get pregnant with Goku, and this is easily the funniest story with the clearest progression. We see Goku vent about his sexual exhaustion to Krillin, who is still the perpetual virgin, and try to come up with clever ways to get out of having to meet his wife’s intense sexual needs, only to ultimately realize that the best way to deal with this issue is to confront her directly.

By that time though, Chi Chi has already gotten pregnant, something which excites and baffles Goku, who had no idea that sex is how you get pregnant. Goku’s foolishness here feels completely in character, as does his initial willingness to rise to Chi Chi’s “challenge” even as it exhausts him, and the constant stream of sexual innuendo sprinkled throughout his dialogue is genuinely delightful to watch.

We also check in with Bulma as she continues to work on fixing Android 16, and discovers an old video clip in his memory files, playing it back for her father. This video is a bit of original animation to Dragonball Z: Abridged, and it tells the story of Dr. Gero’s son, a member of the Red Ribbon Army, as he records a brief video message for his father just before being killed by Goku. It’s a dark and tragic bit of storytelling that helps further humanize Gero, as well as Android 16, and on its own, it’s quite well done, subtly conveying the relationship between this boy and his father.

In the context of this episode though, it feels a little jarring, and the lack of gravitas to the rest of the proceedings is a major factor. I’m also not sure there’s a better place to include this bit of storytelling though, since the show needs to move on to the #CellGames, and the show is certainly better off for having delved into 16’s origins this way. I just wish that the tone of the episode was better suited to this tragic reveal, as the constant jokes surrounding this video leave it feeling out of place.

Thankfully the other two stories match the episode’s overall tone far better, even if the biggest story feels rushed. After escaping up to Kami’s lookout, Goku has a discussion with Piccolo about recreating the Dragonballs, and ends up teleporting to Namek and kidnapping Dende in order to have him remake them, and take up the mantle of Kami on his own.

Having Dende back is easily my favorite part of this episode, as there’s no other character in this show whose level of sass matches his, nor is there another character who plays off Gohan so well (except maybe Piccolo). Dende all too eagerly signs up for taking up the role of Earth’s God, and all the horrifying responsibility that comes with that role, and he even shows a level of brash confidence that can’t be rivaled by any other character, as he blatantly threatens Popo’s life for calling him “Little Green.” I felt exactly as much delight at this arrogance as Popo did, as he twisted his mouth up into a smile, and I genuinely hope that we get to see more of Dende as Earth’s God in the future.

Unfortunately, as great as having Dende’s character back is, the way the episode blows through the story of him recreating the Dragonballs and taking up his divine mantle feels rushed, like we’re seeing this story displayed in its briefest form, and I feel like adding a little more time in between each beat of his ascension would give this story the time to breathe that it needs. As for what we needed more of, the obvious answer is to try and fit in more Dende crushing hard on Gohan, since it only accounts for less than a full minute of time as it is now, but I’m not able to say whether that change would have been possible given the footage and time they had.

The last story that takes place in this episode does not feel rushed or out-of-place, thankfully, and it’s quite the clever gag as well, as a group of reporters interview Cell, who proceeds to regale them with the entire story of Dragon Ball, from the beginning of the original series to the #CellGames here. It’s a very well executed joke that we see in very short snippets throughout the episode, and it ends perfectly, with Cell murdering his interviewer for forgetting to call him “Mr. Perfect Cell.” That’s the story beat we end the episode on, serving as a perfect slice of the entertainment terror yet to come.

Rating: 4/5

Critical Eye Criticism is the work of Jacqueline Merritt, a trans woman, filmmaker, and critic. You can support her continued film criticism addiction on Patreon.

[dxringred]

i’m sorry, but i genuinely cannot stop thinking about the anon who called me stupid because they perceived nancy as ooc in my private/public school slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers alternate universe. like, as if the whole point of aus isn’t to explore how you think characters might re/act or behave when put in or confronted with circumstances you’re not going to see in canon. we’ve never seen (and are never going to see) what nancy would be like if she came from a rich(er) family, went to private schools all her life and grew up surrounded by almost exclusively self-centered, snobby people. we’re not going to see robin turn into a werewolf and how she behaves around other people going forward because of her affliction. we’re not going to see nancy be cursed to isolation in the confines of a castle in the middle of a forest for over a decade. 

and obviously those nancys and robins are going to differ in some aspects to canon nancy and robin, who have been and are being exposed to completely different stimuli. why would you ever expect a nancy cursed to an eternity of isolation deep in a forest castle to inherently be the same person as a nancy who had a perfectly normal 80s life until the upside down ruined it? obviously they’re going to be different people because the point of aus is to explore how you think the character’s personality/behavior might change when their story does. evil queen nancy is just a nancy who grew colder and angry because she’s spent over a decade alone and lost all hope. same as how canon nancy has grown more ‘badass’ and hardened considerably because she’s had to contend with the losses and trauma caused by the upside down. 

you might as well call S4 nancy ooc because she isn’t like S1 nancy for all the sense it makes, because i almost guarantee S1 nancy would’ve turned out very differently in a world with no upside down. point is there’s a difference between exploring the various facets of a character’s behavior and/or personality and how they change under different circumstances vs. slapping a chrissy skin suit on an interpretation that feels divorced from the source material and is supposed to be set in a canon divergent world at best. (there’s also a difference between me, who’s never seen the show, taking creative liberties with characterization vs. someone who very clearly has watched the show writing (what i consider) ooc interpretations of characters and all but insisting people adhere to them.)

and at the end of the day, i never actually said ooc is inherently bad, because people will always interpret and write characters slightly differently, especially when they’re not their own, and especially if they’re very minor characters, but that doesn’t mean i’m suddenly not allowed to view someone else’s take on certain characters as ooc, least of all on my own blog lmao. if you want to write chrissy and vickie with obnoxious quirky anime girl vibes, you can, i just don’t have to agree with it, and you don’t have to agree with me thinking it’s more accurate for them to be a slightly ditzy but street smart cheerleader and shy bookworm respectively. 

anyway, idk where i’m going with this, i’m just baffled at an alternate universe character being called ooc because certain canon traits were exaggerated over others to reflect how the character would behave when raised with a different lifestyle. like the word alternate is in the name. 

[dwellordream]

Initial Impressions of HotD, Episode 8

be warned there are spoilers below.

i have read fire & blood, but i am not judging the show as to its accuracy towards the book, as i had major issues with fire & blood, particularly in regard to how grrm wrote the female characters and handled the Dance.

this is not an evaluation of it as an adaptation but on its own merits.

The time jumps in this season so far are insane. We’ve done a six month time jump, then to about four years later, then again to ten years later, and now to six years after that. At this point we’ve nearly passed 20 years in one season alone. I understand they want to end the season with Viserys’ death, but I think the pacing really hamstrings the character development.

I appreciate them trying to give Vaemond some character and good reason to believe his claims will be believed in court, but I’m worried the show is going to white-wash what happens to him purely to give the Blacks the moral high ground again. I don’t think it benefits the show for the Blacks to always be reasonable and right, and the Greens to be cartoonishly evil.

The egg extraction scene on Dragonstone was gross and cool, and appropriately sci fi.

Jace’s determination to master Valyrian is a nice hint to how he might be grappling with the knowledge that he is a bastard. Though it is a bit confusing as to why he only seems to be learning it now, at 16, as opposed to when he was a small child.

It’s baffling to me why Rhaenys would be so loyal to Daemon and Rhaenyra. They themselves admit that they made it out as though they murdered her only son. Unless Laenor got some secret message to his mother later on, she has every reason to loathe them.

I’m not sure what court being almost deserted is supposed to imply. That Alicent is so unpopular as queen that most of the courtiers have fled? That they fear whatever disease Viserys has? That Alicent is such a religious zealot that court is now miserable?

Alicent’s gown is very clearly modeled after Cersei’s final look in GoT, which I loathed. I tolerate this a bit more because it’s not so anachronous to the pseudo-medieval aesthetic, and I do like her Seven medallion.

I do like the make-up on leprosy-stricken Viserys (at least I am assuming it’s leprosy). They did a good job making him look on death’s door.

Major trigger warnings for the scene in the aftermath of Aegon sexually assaulting a maid. I appreciate that they did not show the assault itself, and Alicent’s response is very interesting. She embraces Dyanna (the maid) and assures her that she knows it was unwanted, but then goes on to coerce her into drinking moon tea. It’s obviously not ‘good’, but I’m glad we didn’t see Alicent do a 180 and have her killed off on the spot or anything like that. I don’t think Alicent’s ‘I believe you’ was entirely feigned, though. She seems genuinely distraught when she confronts Aegon, and not just because of the embarrassment of it.

Aegon being genuinely lost as to what to do as his mother’s firstborn son and coping with that by being a sexual deviant and an alcoholic is pathetic, of course, but also sad.

Aemond’s adult actor looks much, much older than Jace and Luke’s, but I appreciate the absolutely deranged look in his eyes, lol. He’s clearly the warrior, compared to Aegon’s drunken sot.

I appreciate that Rhaenys does call out Rhaenyra and refuses to immediately agree to support Luke’s claim, even when Rhaenyra offers to betroth him to Rhaena and Jace to Baela. I have no problem with Rhaenyra being justified at times, but I don’t think making her the unproblematic heroine of the show really serves the larger themes of the Dance. The point is that they all kind of suck as human beings and don’t care about those beneath them on the social ladder. 

Rhaenys does then almost immediately revert back to supporting Rhaenyra and Lucerys once Viserys makes an appearance, perhaps reasoning that Viserys will never denounce his daughter as adulterous.

Vaemond goes a step further here than in Fire & Blood and publicly denounces Rhaenyra as a whore in court, which... what did he think was gonna happen? Ironically, Daemon immediately killing him in front of everyone was less shocking than Criston killing Joffrey for a simple joke. 

Viserys’ heartbroken speech and showing his ravaged face was genuinely wrenching, and I wish the pacing had been slower and allowed him more moments like this over the course of season 1.

Helaena’s speech about the joys of marriage was a little too on the nose but the scenes of her dancing happily with Jace were sweet, and Aemond’s speech was, of course, very accurate to the iconic scene in Fire & Blood where he calls his nephews out as bastards as passive aggressively as possible. 

I think trying to tie this all back into the Prince that was Promised and the Song of Ice and Fire is a mistake. The Dance is arguably the time of Westeros most-removed from questions of prophecy and the fate of the world, and that’s the point. It’s people putting politics and personal grudges over the greater good of the common people. 

Overall, I liked this episode a lot better than episode 7, but I don’t think it at all was as good as the first half of the season. The highlights were Rhaenyra and Alicent’s tepid attempts at faux(?) reconciliation, and Aemond hamming it up.

[statusquoergo]

five things you might find in my fics

i was tagged by @heytheredeann​, thank you so much!

1. the most baffling mix of first, second, and third person narrative you’ve ever seen someone write on purpose

2. correction of factual inaccuracies in the source material, ranging from very gently passive to outright mocking in direct proportion to my love and affection for the show

3. a genuinely lighthearted situation suddenly getting unexpectedly serious (and maybe a little bit existential)

4. characters being forced to confront parts of themselves they don’t know and/or acknowledge are there

5. characters adamantly refusing help that they desperately need until ultimately coming to admit that they can’t do everything on their own (with varying degrees of reluctance)

this is a fun thought experiment! god, i’m predictable. 🙃

i’ll tag @frivoloussuits @snjeguljica33 @elloras @huneyism and anyone else who feels like playing!

[stayflos]

Baffled didn’t even begin to explain how Agnes felt at that point.

Being a good looking young woman with a taste for everything girly, Agnes had been on a handful of dates - none of them much on the successful side, per se. Despite her funny personality and playfulness, she tended to kick off better with women, for her humor orbits in a universe most guys are not so much aware of. She is straight, she is certain of that; she just doesn’t understand how weirdly hard it is for her to genuinely find someone who likes her witty comebacks and her all-over-the-place references on somewhat femcel movies. It’s frustrating most of the times, but it’s not like she’s willing to change her personality in order to get along with men.

It all started when she discovered Tumblr at the age of fifteen. It seemed magical - she was ready to give whatever it took to follow a certain but specific aesthetic. A girl alone in her teenage years is a wild thing, and Agnes had the most amazing teenage years blogging and bonding with random girls online, from all over the world. And when she was soon becoming too old for it, Agnes found herself lurking around a new aesthetic full of movies, quotes and character traits.

To be fair, Agnes genuinely liked the thrill of seeing women portrayed in such vengeful ways. It was funnily and oddly out of place, far from the reality she was familiar with - not that she wished to be like that, but to be able to witness it was enough. This passion for the aesthetic of it continued to grow as she started university in a promising institution in Korea, where both her parents attended.

It was difficult to blend in at first, for she grew up immersed in a different culture than most of the people she now shares her days and evenings with. However, Agnes managed to fit in and slide through the burdens of being a foreigner, and that, of course included dating.

College years are made for development in all aspects, and her love life wouldn’t be left behind. Agnes tried to pick cute guys by herself at first, just to be met with harsh turnbacks or just simple rejections. You’re not my type, Agnes-ssi, I’m sorry. I only date Koreans. Your face is not small as I like. Your beauty is too exotic for me. Agnes got to grips with hating Korean men in a heartbeat.

Her contempt for the single lifestyle didn’t sit well with one of her closest friend’s spirits. Agnes didn’t take her seriously when she said she would match her up with a friend in a blind date until she had time and place settled. Her friend knew Agnes was the picky type and promised the guy would meet whatever expectation she wanted.

And just so, it was nothing like she expected. Siwoo is her friend’s colleague who also studies computer science. Him and Agnes had the worst blind date in the history of the universe - they shared no similarities at all. The way he dressed completely blew her off. Her humor was way too odd for him to understand. Their interests were divergent in all possible aspects. They have nothing in common, and even that is an understatement.

What Agnes didn’t imagine to happen post date disaster was to stumble upon tweets about her while stalking Siwoo’s social media - how dared him to talk shit about her just like that? She always made sure to keep up with all the socials her dates have, and Siwoo was the unpleasant surprise. It’s not like she didn’t post her fair share of tweets about last night’s disaster, but Siwoo wasn’t the one with the right to say a word about it. After all, he was the one underdressed for the occasion.

Agnes didn’t waste time and replied to whatever he posted and invited him for a coffee shop date - she didn't have much interest on him, but she had all the intention of confronting him on that social media matter.

The afternoon was quiet and the coffee shop near the campus was not packed with people like it always is. Agnes got there first of course, ordering an iced chai for herself. She also took it upon herself to find them a table, electing one right by the corner of the shop. It had cozy cushion chairs and a yellow lightning.

Siwoo soon arrived, got something to drink and say right across from Agnes. She couldn’t help but notice he was drinking a chocolate Frappuccino with no coffee. “Are you serious?” Agnes had to laugh while pointing out his beverage of choice - that was ridiculous. “This is literally iced cocoa with whipped cream. I can’t believe someone would actually pay for this.”

Choi took a few sips of her chai while catching a glimpse of the guy sitting before her - he definitely is pretty. Handsome, if that made more sense. Despite his breathtaking and undeniable looks, it almost felt like Siwoo made an effort to look trashed; just like the other night when they went out, he chose some mid wash, worn out denim pants, a simple baseball model tee with blue highlights, rusty sneakers and a cap with a logo Agnes didn’t even want to know about. What the fuck is wrong with this man? Agnes choked out a laugh at her own thought. “So…” She started with nowhere to go, but carried on either way. “Do you have any psych ward recommendations for me?”