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elitegymnastics · 3 years

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Q: What is this?

A: It’s a flyer for a virtual fundraiser on June 4th that Elite Gymnastics is playing. You can access the show at quietyear.com

Q: Hasn’t Elite Gymnastics been inactive for like, ten years?

A: Yes. This is the first Elite Gymnastics performance of any kind since November 30th 2012, at the Horn Gallery at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio.

Q: Why did Elite Gymnastics stop playing shows?

A: Elite Gymnastics started out as me (Jaime) and a bunch of my friends agreeing to help me play my songs live back in 2009. I made a lot of weird demos in GarageBand and my friend Dominique Davis from the band Dearling Physique got tired of watching me sit on them. So, he booked me to play at a show he was curating as part of a small local music and arts festival called Clapperclaw. For several months that’s mainly what EG was. At some point the focus shifted to making recordings rather than playing shows, to participate in the emergent culture of new music distributed via MP3 file-sharing. The lineup winnowed to just me and Josh Clancy, who began creating digital EPs that we posted on this Tumblr page as ZIP files full of MP3s accompanied by a PDF of artwork. This is the incarnation of the group that most people are familiar with.

This was before Patreon existed. If Bandcamp was around, we’d never heard of it. Though MP3 file-sharing culture and file transfer sites like MediaFire and MegaUpload allowed anyone to distribute music freely across the world via the internet, it was still pretty difficult to get people to pay you for it. I think it was for this reason that a lot of internet music back then featured a lot of sampling. A lot of artists’ first forays into the world of DAWs and production took the form of mash-ups, bootleg remixes, and DJ mixes. Artists like Animal Collective, MIA, Kanye West, and Daft Punk for whom sampling was a pillar of their creative process were extremely influential. Elite Gymnastics was no exception - the first song of ours to gain traction online was “Is This On Me?” which made no attempt to hide the fact that it heavily sampled Faye Wong’s “Eyes On Me.” The fact that it was so difficult to make money off MP3s pushed people to make different creative decisions than they would have otherwise. It was sort of a free-for-all.

Eventually, all of this started to change. The major labels started getting a lot more aggressive about trying to destroy MP3 file-sharing culture. Platforms like MegaUpload were raided and taken offline. The replacements that sprung up to replace them were increasingly infested with ads and malware. Corporate platforms like YouTube and SoundCloud adopted Content ID filters to prevent the proliferation of copyrighted music there. Blogs and private torrent trackers being taken down meant thousands of hours of labor were wiped out in an instant. Some of the best archives of the history of recorded music ever created were destroyed without hesitation. Even the most devoted participants lost the will to keep repairing and re-making the stuff that cops and record companies kept obliterating.

Josh and I both dreamed of being able to make a living as musicians. We still do. Back then, we were willing to accept a lot of changes in order to make that possible, which seemed necessary. A lot of the stuff that we were great at just didn’t make any money. Once, we were asked to do a remix of a song called “Sa Sa Samoa” by the band Korallreven. I did the remix by myself, which was normal for us, and Josh was so inspired by it that he spent a week working non-stop to create a video for it. People loved it - the day the video dropped, Pitchfork designated the song as a “Best New Track” and New York Magazine wrote about it in their “Approval Matrix.” The video led to a ton of exposure, but from a financial perspective, it just did not make sense to put that much effort into promoting a remix of someone else’s song. The stuff we were personally excited by just seemed to have less and less to do with what actually makes money.

A lot of internet bands during this era began to palpably shapeshift in an effort to succeed in music as a career. Artists who’d first attracted notice for sample-based bangers they made on a laptop started posing with vintage hardware in their press photos and trading in their laptops for live bands and recording studios. It became harder to distribute DJ mixes or mash-ups that contained copyrighted music in them. Influential bloggers either closed up shop or were absorbed into the traditional music industry in some way. Feeds that once touted bizarre songs by laptop-toting weirdos with no industry connections started to become populated mostly by artists with labels and publicists. The bottom rungs of festival lineups started to consist mostly of new major label signings who have lots of money to spend on stage production but not much in the way of grassroots fan enthusiasm or media buzz.

Internet music and what people tend to refer to as “indie music” split off into two separate streams. Today, there’s a pretty intense firewall between internet culture and whatever you want to call the culture of vinyl records, mid-sized indie labels with publicists, and positive reviews from the few remaining websites that still pay people to write about music. I call it “publicist indie,” “lifestyle techno,” or “prestige electronica” depending on whether or not the music features guitars and/or vocals. The recent online kerfuffle about NFTs really emphasized this split. The worlds of digital illustration and game development campaigned aggressively against mass adoption of cryptocurrency - if you saw any Medium posts explaining crypto’s environmental issues, chances are they were written by someone from those fields. Every new announcement by an artist that they had minted an NFT was met with a swift and vocal backlash from fans. Though I’ve never really been much of an Aphex Twin fan, it was still pretty startling to look at the replies under his NFT announcement tweet and see hundreds of furious people announcing that he was now dead to them. That’s an artist who has seemed more or less unimpeachable for most of my life up until this point! All of that seemed to change in an instant.

There is a massive disconnect between the insular world of the industry establishment and the cutting edge of online counterculture. We saw this again a couple of weeks ago with the online response to the crisis in Gaza. We saw passionate advocacy for Palestinians from games journalists and developers much more often than we saw it from musicians. This is a very serious problem for music! I do not believe it is possible to please both sides - that is to say, I do not believe it is possible to be part of internet counterculture and the industry establishment simultaneously. The music industry is too conservative, too compromised, too corrupt. If it weren’t for the ocean of valuable copyrights that labels are sitting on, most of them would be bankrupt within a year. If the industry was forced to live or die based on how they handle what’s happening right now in the present, it would most assuredly die. The only people who don’t realize this are those who are being paid to stay ignorant.

Josh and I did not know this back then. From where we were standing, it looked like internet culture and established media industries were on track to converge. A career in the arts seemed genuinely, tantalizingly possible, right up until the moment that it no longer did.

In my case, I had really been struggling up until that point. My life had been this ongoing sequence of evictions and hospitalizations, and it seemed to be getting worse, not better. I donated plasma twice a week to pay for groceries and while I was sitting there with a giant needle stuck in my left arm for an hour I would see my picture in The Fader or my songs being recommended by one of the Kings of Leon on Twitter or whatever. Music seemed like the only thing the world thought I was any good at. It felt like my only chance at a peaceful, happy life was somewhere out there in a world I could only perceive through a laptop screen.

Gender, for me, was a big factor in all of this. The more invested in the craft of songwriting I became, the harder it was to repress or ignore my gender stuff. At that time I’m not sure I even knew what the word “transgender” meant - I just knew that when I showed up at a venue wearing a skirt, no one would talk to me or look me in the eye, and that reading about people like Anohni or Terre Thaemlitz or on the internet made me feel like if I could get out of Minneapolis maybe I could find a place where people would accept me. The internet was like, a pretty toxic place for someone in my position. When I tried to find people to talk to about what I was feeling, nobody tried to tell me to read Judith Butler or ask me what pronouns I preferred. The internet was just like, overrun with predators who just wanted to fetishize me and exploit me. Music seemed like the only way I’d ever have an actual life as myself. I was desperate for that. I was well and truly desperate.

Between all the big changes that were happening to us individually and the music industry moving farther and farther away of the anarchic free-for-all of MP3 file-sharing culture, the strain on us just got to be too much. We stopped trusting each other. We became the unstoppable force and the immovable object, crashing haphazardly against one another’s resolve in a dazzling display of youthful futility. Our partnership ended, and after finishing out the remaining live shows on the calendar by myself, I retired the name “Elite Gymnastics” and started making music on my own under other names. That was that.

Q: Why is Elite Gymnastics coming back now, then?

A: Over the years, Josh and I eventually started talking again. Though there was a lot we did agree on, and potential future projects were discussed, nothing truly felt right. We haven’t been in the same room since Summer 2012, and we’ve both changed a lot since then. We both have other projects and we’ve both developed other ways of working since we stopped working together. It’s a pretty big commitment to put all of that aside in order to join your fortunes together with someone you haven’t seen in a decade.

Recently, Josh decided to leave Elite Gymnastics. His reasons are his own, and I was very surprised by his decision, but after having had time to adjust, I’m really grateful to him. I had kept these songs at a distance for many years, because it seemed foolish to allow myself to get too attached to songs I didn’t feel like I was allowed to think of as mine, if that makes any sense. The songs felt like casualties of a conflict that I had to bury in the ground and try to forget about. Being able to embrace them again felt like re-growing a severed limb or having a loved one come back to life, almost. Feeling like it was safe to love these songs again made me feel whole in a way I didn’t expect to. I became really excited by the prospect of revisiting them, so that’s what I decided to do.

Q: Does this mean you’re going to put RUIN back on Spotify?

A: No. Taking the record off Spotify was the right thing to do. That record was only ever intended to exist during the era of MP3 piracy. I never envisioned a world where the music industry would be so aggressive about policing the way that copyrighted music is allowed to exist online. If we hadn’t opted to take the record down when we did, someone would inevitably have forced us to. If you want to hear those specific recordings again, you’re going to have to do it the way we originally intended: by downloading MP3 files from the internet. Try SoulSeek.

Q: What’s next for Elite Gymnastics, then?

A: Here’s the situation currently. There is no Elite Gymnastics music available to stream or purchase in an official capacity anywhere on the internet. It wouldn’t really be possible for me to put the old stuff on Spotify or Bandcamp now because of all the samples. Like I said before, it was a different time. Those records were created to thrive on a past version of the internet that no longer exists. They weren’t designed to be compatible with the 2021 internet.

Technically, Elite Gymnastics didn’t ever release a debut album. We had EPs, a compilation, and a remix collection. We didn’t make an album, a record that existed as the distillation of all that experimentation that contained all of the songs that fans of the EPs would want to hear, all in one place. It’s like we did Good Fridays but stopped before we made My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.

So, I am currently working on the first Elite Gymnastics album. If you were following my stuff as Default Genders, you may have noticed me posting demos on my SoundCloud page from 2015-2018 that were all eventually reworked into the album Main Pop Girl 2019. The album I am making is taking that approach to all the old EG songs, including some unreleased stuff. I’m collaborating with others on some songs and I honestly feel like it has resulted in some of the best and most exciting music I have ever been involved with. It is a drastic reinvention, but iteration and reinvention have always been a big part of what I do. I want to make something that feels like the culmination of everything that came before, and so far, I think I’m succeeding.

Q: When will I be able to hear this new music?

At a virtual fundraiser on June 4th, 2021, where there is a suggested donation of $10. You can access it at quietyear.com

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ddarker-dreams · 4 years

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Affliction II. Yan Giorno x Reader [COMM]

warnings: general yan stuff, mentions of previous abusive relationships, isolation and self deprecation. word count: 3k. link to the previous part.

There aren’t many places left where you feel comfortable enough to be yourself.

Not an identity that was painstakingly crafted for the sake of self preservation, but your genuine self. Here in the midst of Giorno’s grandiose flower gardens, you’re given the scant opportunity. Whether it be paranoia, or if it holds some ground in reality, there’s a possibility that guards are watching over you from afar. Lost in the thickets of nature, even if you’re being fenced in against your will, is preferable to the suffocating walls of the mansion. There isn’t a lot you’re willing to praise Giorno about, but his taste in flora is breathtaking. Palettes of complementing colors mesh together in a wide array of nature, stepping into it like entering a new world.

This particular section is your favorite. Azaleas are in full bloom around you, the sweet scent wafting to your nose. Stone garden benches, slightly aged by weather and covered in moss, make for a nice spot to collect yourself. This time of day, a sizable tree provides shade from the oppressive Neapolitan sun. Taking in a deep breath, you consider what to do for the reminder of the day. There isn’t much in the ways of entertainment, not in the sense you’d grown used to. No using the internet, or interacting with anyone that isn’t Giorno, aside from rare exceptions when you need food. Some of your hobbies are provided for, but the inspiration to partake in them when in captivity is dwindling at best, nonexistent at worst.

You’ve had plenty of time to mope around the long, seemingly abandoned halls that make up your prison. After nights of incessant tears and sighing, you’ve made up your mind to make the most of the dreadful situation. Biding your time for a possibility of escape is all that can be done. Walking around the gardens almost felt like a form of reconnaissance at first, scoping the foreign territory in hopes of locating a weakness. Frustrating hour after hour would pass, no convenient cracks in the wall or fencing making itself known. Of course he wouldn’t make it that easy, not after all the apparent effort that went into kidnapping you.

The sun is beginning to set in the sky, the lengthier days of summer beginning a downwards trend as September soon approaches. You frown at the sight of clouds bathed in rays of golden light, knowing what unique horrors night time brings with it. During the day you get to be on your lonesome, making as much space between you and Giorno as possible. While there are some fortunate nights where he’s too engrossed with work matters to seek you out, Lady Luck hasn’t been on your side lately. He’s been woefully insistent on spending dinner with you, wanting to form a bond that you hold no interest in. You’d sooner seek out the company of a snail than Giorno Giovanna.

When the crickets begin their anthems, the moon hanging high overhead, your freedom is restricted even more. The heavy weight of this realization pushes against your chest, a fresh wave of chills running through you. Anxiety is a finicky creature, making itself known at the worst times. Having a choke hold on you at its own leisure, preventing you from making any meaningful progress. It’s been somewhere around a few months now, you believe, since the encounter that changed your life for the worst.

Shaking your low hanging head at the thought, you occupy yourself with the parchment sitting on your lap. It’s coarse against your skin, a much needed anchor to keep yourself from drifting away from this world. That’s right, you’ve come here for a reason. You’ve had this blank piece of paper, that has beckoned you to fill it for some time now. The problem being, the lack of proper equipment to use on it. Some pieces of charcoal that you found earlier after lunch sprang hope anew, the tool familiar in the best of ways. Holding with it fond memories, a desirable distraction from your bleak outlook on life.

The guards that take care in shadowing you didn’t protest when you took it, so you assume it must be allowed. Bringing the dark instrument down to the parchment, you begin a rough sketch of an azalea plant in front of you. As you make the various shapes that define the flower, time almost seems to speed up around you. Before you register it, the sun has almost finished its descent into the sky, your hands fully covered in residue from handling the charcoal. Too absorbed in perfecting your work, you fail to notice approaching footsteps from behind.

“--[First].”

A surprised gasp leaves your lips at the unexpected greeting, your head whipping around to identify the source of the intrusive noise. Panic bubbles within at the sight of Giorno, who is taking a keen interest in what you are working on. From how at ease he looks, it’s difficult to gauge his thoughts. His visage never offers insight to his mind, always schooled and taciturn. He must be awaiting a response from you, but your mind is a state of panic. This activity isn’t something that’ll get you in trouble, is it? Subconsciously, you move the canvas to the side, your fingers wrapping around the edges uncomfortably.

You need to say something, but the words die in your mouth before coming to life. Pushing through your storm of dread, you offer a response. “I… I’m sorry, if I wasn’t supposed to.”

Turquoise eyes regard you in kind, taking a seat next to you on the bench. He’s generous enough to leave a respectable gap, but is still too close for comfort. From how his lips are turned into a soft smile, you want nothing more than to believe you won’t be chastised for this innocent indulgence. Spending time in Giorno’s presence is akin to navigating through a minefield, never certain what step may end up being your last. All of the promises he offers feel unfounded, the sickly sweet assurances of never harming a hair on your head. Why should you believe him? He’s given you no reason to take his word as concrete, and you can’t see that ever changing.

You remember the scent of blood. The nauseating sound of bones crunching, how flesh sounds when thrown against a wall. How when approaching death, the eyes grew bloodshot, lips trembling as they took on a haunting shade of blue. It’s the stuff of nightmares, watching a life snuffed out right before you. Matteo, someone who had been your companion, was gone before you could even process it. The strain on your relationship with him is unforgettable, but having to see his body tossed aside by a ghostly force? Witnessing how limp his limbs were, the same arms that once sought refuge in long ago?

You’ll never forget the devil Giorno is, no matter how much he paints himself as a saint.

“I had no idea you were interested in art,” he chooses to ignore your previous comment, wanting to redirect onto more positive things. “You have a real talent for it. Had I known, I would’ve prepared a wider array of art supplies for you.”

The compliment has the opposite effect as intended on your person. Instead of filling you with validation at the wholehearted praise, the words ooze down your skin like droplets of corrosive venom. A sudden disconnect between your creation is torn, and you can no longer stomach to look at it. How an object of beauty can turn into a reminder of your captor in a few measly seconds is a peculiar thing. When he leaves for work the next morning, you consider the possibility of destroying it all together. A last ditch effort to rid yourself of this revolting feeling that creeps down your spine.

“Please, don’t trouble yourself.”

There are multiple ways of interpreting your words, ranging from a dismissal of Giorno’s presence to humility. He spins it in his favor, as he’s showcased his brilliance in doing so. Your lack of straightforward animosity towards him serves to backfire every time.

“It’d be no trouble. Truth be told, I’m lacking an in-depth knowledge of the arts. What kind of equipment would suit you best?” Giorno inquires with a tilt of his head, his eyes leaving the impression that he can see the full dimensions of your soul. Ignoring him isn’t going to be of benefit, so you provide the bare minimum to satisfy his quest.

“It’s… more of a personal preference, what an artist chooses to use.”

He’s not letting you off the hook just yet. “What do you prefer to use?”

“The basics. Pencils, watercolors, the like. Nothing too fancy.”

Giorno looks fascinated at anything you offer him. Even if you only speak when spoken to, it’s a good place to start. Your muscles tense as he leans closer, to get a better look at the drawing of flowers. His eyes scan every stroke, seeing how it all culminates into a grander picture. You move your legs over, internally pleading that he’ll leave you alone soon. Speaking for him with any amount of time, no matter how small, is exhausting.

“Azaleas, correct?”

At this guess, you nod in confirmation.

“Please, should you ever need a reference for flowers, let me know. I’d be more than happy to provide it for you.”

The chance to refuse this offer is fleeting, curiosity taking over at how he reaches for a rock on the ground. Taking it into his hand, he puts it in full view. You blink at the uncanny series of events, wondering why Giorno is putting a simple rock on display. Any semblance of understanding is stolen from you, as the colors twist into a different assortment. The spherical shape shifts into a stem, the bud on top growing light pink petals. He watches with amusement at how you look at it closer, mouth agape.

“W-what?” It’s a weak whisper, betraying the full extent of your awe. How did he pull this off? It isn’t like a cheesy magic trick, where the rock would slide somewhere, only to be replaced by a flower. No, you witnessed the full life cycle of the flower. He chuckles lowly at your childlike wonder, preparing a palpable explanation.

“It’s an ability of mine,” he elaborates, placing the newly former azalea on your lap. “I can make any living thing.”

Is this a dream? To test the theory, you rub your eyes, uncaring of the smudges likely left against your skin. When your eyelids flutter open once more, you’re still in reality. Wanting to inspect the flower closer, you lift it up, close to your eyes. Studying every aspect of it, from how soft the petals are to the firmness of the stem. While not a professional botanist by any means, there’s no denying that this is a real flower.

“Any living thing…”

The words dance on your tongue, parroting his words back to him to make sense of it all. “Does that include animals?”

“Naturally. Is there anything you’d like to see, [First]?” He tempts you with promises of spectacle, fully aware of how bewitching Gold Experience’s ability is. Numerous ideas flood through your mind, possibilities infinite. Thoughts ranging from your own favorite animals, to cute creatures that might improve your mood. While creating bouquets of any flower might be an intriguing prospect, you’re more drawn to seeing animals. The only animals you’ve had contact with in the longest time are occasional frogs that congregate near the running foundations at night. Everything else is reduced to sounds, from owls to cicadas.

It’s when you see Giorno’s knowing smile that something deep inside you stirs.

He’s basking in the lightheartedness you’re exuding. This… this ultimately doesn’t change a thing. Giorno is a terrible man, who has taken so much from you. The hedges surrounding you both suddenly feel suffocating, a merciless reminder of who it is you’re dealing with. Beauty pales in comparison to real freedom. Every day has been the same as the last, an infinite loop of going through the motions, destined to never make progress. All of this has been thrusted onto you by Giorno Giovanna, a man in relentless pursuit of your heart.

None of this is right. Being near him is enough to too much to take.

You hold your tongue, eyebrows furrowing at Giorno bringing out all this conversation from you. It’s humiliating how all your efforts to deny him the desires of his flesh never work as intended, this one of the many times he’s bested you. Now that you’ve spotted his game, you clamp shut like a clam, intent on hiding the pearl of yourself from him. You’re intentional in looking away, the luxury of him maintaining eye contact with you a memory of the past. Sensing the barriers you’re putting up against him, Giorno stands, dusting off his expensive pants. He offers you a nod of acknowledgement, pivoting on his heel and calling out to you over his shoulder.

“I’ll leave you to it then.”

Too absorbed in your self deprecating thoughts and misery, you offer up no response. Footsteps crunching against the vegetation on the ground fade away, your heart pounding violently against your chest. Something wet caresses your face, teardrops falling and smudging your art. Your sniffling grows in volume, becoming a full set of sobs. Hands shaking by your side, you hang your head low, biting your lower lip to the point of drawing blood.

Feeling like a man possessed, you wildly rip away at the canvas that taunts you so. The sound of paper ripping pales in comparison to the natural ambiance of the summer night, and you pay it no mind. All you want is an outlet for this surge of emotion. Any guilt over littering the ground with remnants of your work dissipates when you remember how servants will scurry like insects to clean up after you. For extra measure, you pick up the former rock, glowering at it. Breaking the stem with your hands, you throw it as far as you can manage, not able to stand the sight of all it stands for. None of this even begins to remedy the abhorrence that clogs your heart for Giorno, but it’s a start.

Exhaustion seeps into every pore of your being, and you retire to your room.

- - -

He notices a lot of things about you when you’re asleep.

There’s clear serenity on your countenance, far away from the world of unfortunate reality. Giorno catches every rise and fall of your chest, how delicate your breaths are, the way your long eyelashes flutter against the soft cheeks of your face. When you’re lifted from the depths of deep sleep with a dream, frustration overtakes you, eyelids twitching. He’s inquisitive on the nature of your dreams, that must take the form of nightmares. What is it that haunts you? There’s a twinge in his heart at the possibility of it being him.

The first time you reached out to him in your sleep, he thought it a trick of the lights. A fine delicacy he doesn’t deserve to gratify himself with, as a reminder of his own sins. You’re too good to him when you’re like this, arms subconsciously reaching out for something to grasp on. A few times, you found a pillow, content with it in your arms. In moments like this one, your hands touch the bare flesh of Giorno’s chest, drawing yourself against him. He stays perfectly still, recognizing the humiliation you’d face should you wake. No, this is just fine with him, enough to satisfy a dormant hunger.

He can’t help himself, ghosting his fingertips up and down your bare arms. Goosebumps dot your skin from the motions. It’s a selfish wish, that you’d always be like this around him. Giorno would be a fool to think of himself as anything but self-serving after all he’s taken from you. Your future, freedom, your life. What is possibly an attempt to justify some of the extreme measures arises, Giorno incapable of hiding the scowl of your former situation. Such a kindhearted person, diluted by scum of society, churns his stomach in repulsion. The original plan didn’t include offing your former partner, but righteous fury overtook him. It isn’t often Giorno’s composure can crack, but seeing you belittled was all it took.

All the damage inflicted on you left gaping wounds, too great for Giorno to heal.

He witnessed how radiant you’re capable of being, how your face glowed the first time you met. It’s a fond memory now, a way to placate him. Anything less than honoring the memory of you treating his wounds is a disservice to your person, Giorno incapable of offering nothing but high praises for you. This highlight of humanity, a pinnacle of what people are like at their best, is what motivates his goals further. To see Italy become a better version of itself, eradicating the nefarious plots that fester in the shadows.

You rub your head against his chest, murmuring incoherent words in your sleep. His heart leaps at the endearing sight, wishing he could stay like this with you for eternity. In the midst of his musings, his own Stand materializes into existence, unblinking eyes considering every curve and dip of your body. Gold Experience Requiem wishes you were capable of acknowledging it, having to be content with observing you from afar. It’s a double edged sword. There’s an opportunity to wrap phantom-like appendages around your waist, you only believe it to be a gust of wind. Touch starved as Giorno is, he’s willing to accept any scraps of your touch he has access to.

Tiny pieces are better than nothing.

Tomorrow will bring troubles of its own, yet he can’t find it in himself to complain. Your scrutiny is wholly deserved, and all that he can offer in meager attempts to reconcile is effort. To be better for your sake, and his own.

#giorno #Giorno Giovanna #giovanna giorno #yandere giorno #giorno x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #JoJo's Bizzare Adventure #jojo's bizarre adventures #Jojo Part 5 #JJBA #jjba part 5 #yandere jojo's bizzare adventure #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere jojo x reader #my stuff #commissions

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bonniebird · 4 years

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A version of home (Part Two)

Masterlist

“Still going?” Dean asked as he came into the kitchen. He was rubbing black oil off his hands as he headed to the fridge for a drink.

“Yeah Bobby manages to pack this stuff in. I found two curse boxes and they’ve only been gone… four hours?” You said with a fond sigh as you set another pile of boxes and books on the kitchen table.

“You know he’d never admit it but I think he appreciates the effort… he seems happy you’re here.” Dean said quickly. You nodded as he popped open his beer and the two of you stood in the awkward air that seemed to choke Bobby’s kitchen. You weren't used to other hunters that weren’t years older than you. It was strange that someone else had a familial bond with Bobby, the way you did.

“Well, I think that i’ve found some weapons in the back of the book pile so… I’m going to go.”

“Yeah. urm...” Dean said gruffly. “I should get back to work.”

It took a couple more hours to get the books sorted into the piles Sam had suggested. Now they took up a large amount of space in the living room. Although while you’d been sorting you had found four, flat packed, sets of book shelves. Several knives, guns, boxes of hand crafted bullets and other weapons that you weren’t too sure about. You had been curious about Bobby’s other spare rooms and tried to poke around. You were abruptly stopped by the door of the first room barely opening enough for you to see the boxes and books blocking the door. “Damn Bobby! There must be hundreds of books in here!” You muttered to yourself.

Deciding you’d surprise Bobby with the new shelves, you headed down stairs. Pausing at the bottom step and sighing. You still had to figure out what to do with all the weapons. Organising Bobby’s books was one thing but if he had to hoard some weapons he kept them in the basement or in his car. It was the one thing you didn’t mess with when it came to Bobby. You weren’t sure how you felt about Dean or if you felt comfortable enough to ask him for help.

Sam seemed nice, once he got over the awkwardness of, clearly, being asked by Bobby to get along with you. It was like being a kid again. But Dean seemed more rough around the edges. You understood, it was hard to trust other hunters.

“Hey, Dean?” You called as you headed out into the back of Bobby’s house. The maze of cars outside seemed to have grown like the hoard of books. Following the sounds of Dean working on the Impala, you found him near one of the less run down work sheds. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” He said as he glanced at you.

“I had a question about Bobby’s weapon collection. I’m not sure he even remembered he had half that stuff that I found in the spare room. Maybe… you could look them over, I’d call Bobby and ask what he wants me to do with them but I don’t want to interrupt their hunt.” You explained.

“You don’t know what to do with them?” He asked dubiously as he finished his fiddling and stood up, brushing his hands on his jeans.

“I put the weapons for vampires and werewolves with the others in the basement already but my family were kind of experts at vampires and werewolves. Outside of a few ghosts and a couple ghouls. I haven’t hunted much else.”

“Oh, yeah Bobby mentioned your grandfather was pretty famous for hunting vamps. I can help you out.” Dean sounded surprised that you’d asked him for help. He followed you up to the spare room where you’d layed out all the weapons on the bed, along with a few more spell boxes.

“Most of these you can just put in the basement. This one, also this. I think Rufus needs one of these for a succubus. I got a call from another hunter earlier, they were looking for Bobby and I'm pretty sure these two would do the trick… I actually think I made this knife. Had to add a bunch of stuff to it for a hunt. We can find someone to run the knife down but Rufus will need this as soon as possible.” Dean said after he had looked everything over. He sounded a little sentimental over the last weapon that he picked up and flipped over in his hand.

“I think Rufus is still on a hunt nearby. He keeps saying it’s his last one. I’m surprised he even called Bobby when he saved me from the werewolf, after what happened between him and Bobby.” You muttered and Dean nodded. He gave you a quizzical look but knew better than to pry when it came to Bobby and his friends. At least until he had Sam to help him.

“We could see how the tune ups worked on the car and head out, drop these out with Rufus…” Dean offered. Bobby had left him with the specific instructions to befriend you. He didn’t want you running off on a hunt and he figured if you were going to tell anyone, it would be Sam and Dean, seeing as neither would object to going along on a hunt with you, instead of stopping you from going.

“Sure, sounds… good.” You said nervously. Dean grinned and hurried to put the hood of the Impala down. While he gave the car a final once over you grabbed a duffle bag for the weapons and set all the phones to answer with Bobby’s prerecorded message.

“Rufus is only an hour out.” You said as you climbed into the front passenger seat. Dean was already waiting in the car. “I got a text from Bobby saying he should be back with Sam in a few.”

“Great, an old friend is passing through so if we’re not too long with Rufus we should be able to drop the last weapon off and pick up dinner at the diner on the way back.” Dean offered and you nodded as you set the bag in the footwell while staring at your phone.

“Someone phoned Bobby asking if he had a book… apparently Sam thinks he saw it when he was helping me.” You mumbled as you text Bobby back.

“Bobby probably has every book under the sun at this point.” Dean replied as he started to cruise out of Bobby’s backyard and down the street.

“Bobby said you guys are looking for your dad. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time finding him.” You said suddenly after a few moments of silent driving. Dean cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

“We’ll find him. Or he’ll find us, I’m sure It’ll be fine. He’s a great hunter.” Dean answered quickly.

“I think my grandpa hunted with one of your grandparents. Some vampire big nest.” You muttered. Dean frowned at you, assuming you’d mixed him up with someone. Maybe the Garth kid that Bobby talked about.

The rest of the drive was awkwardly quiet. Though Dean was pretty pleased he’d solved the squeaking issue. It’d be awhile before he had to hang round Bobby’s and fix the car up. He noticed that as he drove closer to the meeting place with Rufus you got more nervous. “So the last time you saw Rufus he was saving your life?” Dean jokes.

“Actually, he stayed when I was in the hospital. He was yelling at Bobby about letting me hunt a werewolf pack alone. I didn’t know it was a pack at the time and Bobby had been trying to get me to slow down for a while. I just sort of lost it.” You explained and Dean nodded. He’d gotten to the motel Rufus was waiting at. He was packing up his own car and waved at Dean as he pulled up.

“Hey, Rufus. We’ve got that weapon you needed.” Dean said as he clambered out the car. You were a little slower getting out of the car.

“Dean, nice to see you.” He glanced over Dean’s shoulder as you fumbled with the weapon in your hand. “(Y/N), glad you recovered ok.”

“Yeah. Nothing a good hunter can’t recover from.” You said quietly. While you shuffled your feet Dean cleared his throat and nudged you. “Here!”

“Thank you. Caught wind of another hunt. They just keep on coming.” Rufus complained as he took it and set it in his truck.

“You know, considering that you’re trying to retire…” You pointed out and he tutted at you.

“I would have been well out of the game if it wasn’t for you.” He warned playfully.

“Well, I’m not hunting for a little while. Bobby, he… wants me to take it easy for a while.” You explained. Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and started admiring the cars, scattered in the parking lot.

“Glad to hear it. I know you’ve lost a lot but I’d rather not be losing you.” Rufus saif with a soft, genuine tone. He gave you an affectionate hug and petted your head as he nodded to Dean. “Hopefully I won’t see you kids around. Take care.”

“You take care too, Rufus.” You said as you waved at him. He gave a short wave before driving off to his next hunt.

“So, ready to head home?” Dean asked as he turned to you.

*****************

“Hi, do you take out?” You asked the smiling woman at the counter. She looked exhausted and as if the day had been hard for her.

“We do, we have a take out menu. We no longer do delivery.” She said and her eyes looked strained as if she was waiting for you to complain.

“Great! We’re not too far away. Dean, they do take out but only collection.” You called to Dean who was finishing swapping the weapon from Bobby’s for some sort of magic object to do with demons. You didn’t really track when he started going into the demon things on the way back to Sioux Falls.

“Great, we’ll take two of the pies from the special board and… What do you think Bobby and Sam will want?”

“Um… Sam likes the healthy stuff right?” You asked and Dean agreed, ordering a large salad and something that was sloppy, a dubious green and game in a lukewarm cylindrical tub.

“I think Bobby will want the burger or something.” You said to Dean in a sheepish tone as you both stared at the tub while the server behind the till gave you the plastered smile.

“You’re onto something, want one too?” He asked, much in the same tone, wincing at the tub which bubbled for a moment.

“Yeah sure…”

Getting your full order took a while when Dean added more and more to the list. But eventually you managed to get back home to Bobby’s. The lights were on and you could see Bobby’s truck parked neatly as Dean pulled up beside it.

“I can’t believe the food is so… weird.” You muttered as you held the two paper bags of food.

“Sammy’s food looks like it’s alive.” Dean muttered and you laughed.

“You two seem to be getting along.” Sam pointed out as the two of you headed inside. You had the bags while Dean had the drinks and a sketchy looking homemade ice cream that was apparently made in store at the restaurant. There had been a long debate about why they called it homemade when it wasn’t made in someone's home.

“Yeah, we went to the dinner that’s in town. Since it was bought out… it’s gotten a bit weird.” You explained as you started to set everything out on the table. Bobby joined Sam who hurried to dump his notebook on a pile of books near the table. As you set Sam’s food in front of him both you and Dean watched him intently as he opened it. He started spooning the food into his mouth without hesitation.

“Well you owe me five bucks.” You muttered to Dean.

“Hey, it could still get him!”

“What are you two talking about?” Sam asked dubiously as he looked suspiciously at the two of you, then his food.

“Sam, your food looks alive.” You muttered and he rolled his eyes.

“It’s better than what you three are eating.” Sam offered up.

“Sammy you’re eating flubber!” Dean insisted. The three of you continued to bicker over the food long into Dean’s massive desert. The bickering was ended by Bobby insisting that the three of you had to build the new shelves that you had routed out in the now nearly empty spare room.

#Sam Winchester #sam winchester x reader #bonniebird #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader

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phoebehalliwell · 4 years

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Also i remember that you did an essay on nextgen relationship to witchcraft ??

i would like an mini essay on how each next gen tap to their other half (whitelighter and cupid) ?🥰

[this is where i’d put the link to the next gen’s relationship to witchcraft IF I COULD FIND IT] rip lmao but yeah!! bc basically everyone in the next gen is a halfling so i feel like there’s really like A Lot here like witchlighters are already just like hella rare and then pj parker and peyton are very possibly the first cupitches to exist ever y’know what i bet i can find? my mini essay on cupids & whitelighters yeah boi so i think the primary distinction between whitelighters and cupids comes down to like. head vs heart. and i know whitelighters are like innately good people who want to help others through good deeds blah blah blah but there is an inherent Logic to the process. whereas cupids are just a lot more fuck around/find out. it’s the same thing with orbing vs. beaming orbing you think of a place and you’re there beaming you feel a place. if pj and melinda were to swap bodies neither of them would be able to teleport. so i think the way that they were raised/trained also impacts that a lot so let’s go chronological order and start with wyatt

so, full disclaimer here, i am going off my own writings here as there are some blanks left in canon (i.e. who has what powers) also i made leo a whitelighter again bc like. a) i wanted to b) melinda’s a witchlighter which would be objectively fucking weird if leo was not a whitelighter ik the comics had this whole think about ~latent whitelighter dna~ but like girl what. and then also c) and i’ve talked about paige and motherhood before but i really don’t think paige wants to whitelighter for her kids bc she doesn’t want to be viewed as like,, as business associate to them bc that’s weird it’s one thing for your brother in law to be your whitelighter it’s a whole new can of worms for your mom to be your whitelighter. on top of that paige is still a charmed one and a witch so like. she definitely does not have the time to be the entire halliwell family’s whitelighter. but leo’s right there just give him healing and orbing hell he loves being a whitelighter just reinstate him. like come on. amirite lads? it doesn’t matter if i’m right or not this is my story and i’m sticking 2 it. okay let’s rock n roll

wyatt powers are projection, orbing, orb shield, healing, telekinesis, telekinetic orbing and he is a half split mother’s a witch father’s a whitelighter. i mean i think wyatt was really definitely as like The Witchlighter like at magic school all that like yes paige is a witchlighter but paige did not go to magic school and grow up around a bunch of little witches i think teleportation powers are Insanely Rare for anyone who’s not a halfling so the fact that wyatt can just. orb. he can heal. like this is Insane. but unlike a dency type situation where like these powers are so rare they basically have to be self taught i think there are a good amount of whitelighters at magic school who can teach him how to master his skills there’s also paige and leo so like. he’s pretty much covered. that and the whole whitelighter thing just really does come naturally to him like he was doing all this batshit crazy stuff from the womb like he healed piper from the brink of death at like age two. wyatt’s whitelighter powers are a fuckin breeze. i also think wyatt sort of id’s a little more as a whitelighter than a witch just bc chris is like so witchy wyatt feels like okay i must be more whitelighter by default. like chris will go out demon hunting and wyatt just like. doesn’t really want to do that so wyatt think’s it’s because he’s just more of a whitelighter more of a pacifist by nature. it’s not really it’s more just like chris is fuckin crazy but it doesn’t really matter. i also think that since wyatt is one of the only people with healing when the cousins are in trouble they almost always go to him, which only sort of adds to the Whitelighter element. i also don’t think wyatt has had any charges yet bc like. he’s really young he’s like 22. but i think he definitely will i think that’s something he would want to have. i think the elders also have some slight reservations about giving him charges bc like. very high probability he will fall in love with them.

chris powers are telekinesis, telekinetic orbing, orbing. does not feel very whitelighter at all. i mean for starters, wyatt’s totally Stacked with whitelighter powers that he just seemed to immediately have mastery over chris not so much. and it’s also like. everyone in the family Expected wyatt to have healing and then literally no one expected that of chris. like he tried he read about it all that and whenever he would try the sisters would just be like it’s okay hey you know not everyone has healing healing it’s big like not everyone can master it paige couldn’t heal til she was like 30 it’s nbd so chris is like yeah :| okay :| but it kind of bothers him how it’s like. his family just knew he wouldn’t be able to do that. and beyond that i think chris really does have this desire to prove himself in the craft to prove he’s a strong, talented, capable witch (which he is) and that’s really where he directs his focus. the power he hones the most it telekinesis. orbing and tlk orbing kinda of take a back seat simply bc they just aren’t as strong of combative powers (however, paige let him in on the insider secret that you can orb hearts of demons so that’s p fuckin cool. leo like Freaked out when paige told him this because he’s just a kid!! he doesn’t need to be hearing all of that!!! and paige is like yeah, just a kid who fights demons, leo. he’s seen worse and chris just looks at leo like yeah i mean i have and leo’s like cool gonna go have another parenting crisis). basically while chris knows he is a witchlighter he very much does not feel like one. he identifies as a witch. full stop. (side note he does not know he was the time traveller who came back to fix the timeline and if he found out and found out that he convincingly posed as a whitelighter and people actually believed him i think he’d lose it laughing)

melinda powers are empathy, orbing, telekinesis, telekinetic orbing. i think melinda views her Main Power as empathy, i think melinda considers herself to be more of a pacifist. again, this is kind of in relation to chris, so it’s like considering yourself to be short bc your brother’s 6′5″, but like. melinda is short. and she is more of a pacifist. i think given her empathy which is technically a whitelighter power tho it is much power likely she inherited the power from her aunt phoebe, she’s not really like. a fighter or a powerhouse or anything i think she also inherited piper’s want of a normal life. in my writings melinda is actually a nursing student i mean she’s a freshman in college but like. she wants to be like a nurse or a doctor she hasn’t entirely figured out how that would work with her like. Witch Schedule. but she kind of doesn’t care?? like she has a full family of charmed ones. they can save the day by magical means; she can save them by mortal ones. she also just like as a fun fact with her empathy powers can diagnose things really well because she can just like. feel what other people are feeling. so yes i think she’s really more whitelighter than witch i think if people ever saw her out and about with her whitelighter (i gave her a new whitelighter that isn’t leo in canon explanation is the elders are kind of worried the halliwells are getting a bit too cliquey little bit too much of a feedback loop there and they don’t really have the best relationship to the elders so like. now that one of them has kind of broken off into her own path they’re like okay can we give her a new whitelighter. just to kind of make sure they don’t all hate us. out of canon explanation i think it’s more fun for melinda to have a whitelighter her age instead of constantly dragging her dad to davis). i also think melinda is the most likely out of any of the next gen to receive a charge, but again, this is like, way out bc she’d like. 18. i also think she would keep her whitelighter on speed dial bc i think she’d be Super Nervous about fucking shit up like so bad for the first couple while. like eventually she’d get the hang of it and be confident and capable in herself and her abilities but for the first bit she’d be like. so so so anxious like s1 piper need to have everything be perfect when it most definitely is not.

tamora powers are molecular combustion, healing, invisibility, psychic link with kat. so. tamora’s technically like only 1/4 whitelighter as neither of her parents are whitelighters, her maternal grandfather is a whitelighter and that’s it. so that’s why both her and kat are a little less whitelightery that the rest of the next gen tamora can’t even orb. which was like genuinely a shock as literally every other witchlighter in the family can orb, but she just straight up cannot. she can heal, though, and is the only one beside wyatt with that capability, so her whitelighteryness is still there. she just can’t orb. and then while molecular combustion as a power obviously came from piper, healing, invisibility, and even her psychic link with her twin are all very whitelighter-y. (side note, it is specifically the whitelighter part of the twins that give them this link just like how all whitelighters are linked to their charges, them being twins just like. amplifies it. it also allows kat to always be able to orb tamora to her side and sometimes orb her other places without ever seeing her but that bit still doesn’t work that great. so while part of it is a Twin Thing, it’s also a whitelighter thing, which is why like warren and sheridan do not share a psychic link. note pt.2 the girls powers were bound when they were kids bc they had i mean like p dangerous powers at least tam did but as established by the fact that paige could always orb despite having her powers bound, their whitelighter abilities were always active. kat could always orb, tamora could always heal, their psychic abilities stayed active.) and like, because of this it’s the same though i’m just leaving the parenthesis before i forget, tamora for the longest time had no offensive power the only thing she could do was heal. she was also kind of like the coward to kat’s fearlessness or even just like henry’s popularity. she’s the shyest out any of her siblings, a lot more reserved, she has anxiety, blah blah blah. so she never felt very witchy. she had her whitelighter power and her cowardice. and kat was off running around having a wild time and henry was reading about the most terrifying demons known to man shit that have clawed their way out of the underbelly of the earth and tam’s just like. like no?? stop??? oh my god??? and then around age 14 when the girls entered high school they unbound their powers and started to train them and tamora just really only felt more uncomfortable in her own skin bc like. molecular combustion, man. and piper would teach her like how to use her powers like okay you just really really angry and you throw out your hands like BAM and she blows up a chair and turns to tamora with that cute lil grin on her face like okay now you try and tamora just feels so out of place man. like her aunt piper is this fuckin powerhouse and this power is like. it’s just too much for her like she always somehow felt like there was some cosmic swap some mistake in the grand design where she and kat got mixed up somehow and she should have freezing and kat who’s bold and fun and brave and strong should be able to blow things up. because this isn’t her. this is too much for her, it’s too loud it’s too. strong. that being said, she’s always had a knack for it, which she doesn’t realize bc like. it’s a very rare power. but she was able to gain mastery over it faster than piper did in her day. so piper knows it’s not a cosmic mix up. she knows this is the power tamora was meant to have, and some day she’ll grow into it. it’ll just take time. but yeah. witchcraft is not so much tamora’s speed she doesn’t like. necessarily identify more with her whitelighter half (or fourth but whatever) but she does just. like she likes those powers more she feels more comfortable with them. i think if she were to body swap with kat she’d be perfectly fine at orbing too. in regards to charges she is Also 18 so again long way out i think she would be open to the idea but it would necessarily be something she’d like really really Want to do i think like her whole dynamic with peyton would really be her jumping off point for whitelightering but if she got someone who was a lot more just like. into making bad decisions i don’t think tam has the backbone yet to tell them off.

kat powers are molecular immobilization, orbing, omnilingualism, psychic link with kat. absolutely no on the whitelighter front. yeah she can orb and is omnilingual doesn’t even register those as whitelighter powers. considers herself a witch through and through. is not wise, is impulsive, is reckless, is a witch. would never take a charge. if she did, she’d go on all their adventures with them bc that’s just the type of person she is. doesn’t to the vague, gentle guiding of a whitelighter she is not vague. she is also very close with chris bc they have such similar ideologies. but yeah. she’s not a whitelighter.

pj powers are levitation, astral projection, beaming, sensing love we have exited whitelighter territory and entered cupid territory i think pj very much identifies as Cupid-Witch i think she is Thee hyphenate i think she wholeheartedly embraces both parts of her craft as the eldest of her charmed ones set she does feel the need to like Set a Good Example she measures out all her potions ingredients perfectly and mastered spell writing from an early age she treats the craft with respect. she doesn’t necessarily treat the cupid practice with respect that’s not quite the right word there’s no dignity it’s all fun. bc love is fun!! her and parker have a running betting pool on various relationships in school. melinda would sometimes put down money, now that peyton goes to school with them she’ll also place bets. henry jr also does this despite having zero magical abilities to sense anything he thinks that makes it more fun. but yeah. pj views herself as cupid. she loves giving relationships the little Push they need to blossom. people think it’s because she has an advice columnist for a mom and they like trust her bc like. she’s nice and her dad’s a relationship therapist her mom’s an advice columnist and almost everyone has at least one friend that pj has had a hand in their relationship so if she sets something up they’ll trust her. the school newspaper suggested that she actually start an advice column or a matchmaking thing but she turned it down bc like. she doesn’t do remote, y’know. her cupid powers are very personal, she needs to see it irl all the move parts before she makes a judgement call. but yes. very cupid. loves saying it, too. people are like wow you’re so good at relationships she’s like yeah i’m basically cupid lmao. parker boos every time she makes that joke.

parker powers are premonition, beaming, sensing love. so parker definitely considers herself a cupitch not just a witch but she doesn’t go as far pj just bc that’s not like her mo. pj does have a slightly higher eq than parker a bit more of a gentle touch they stay neck in neck in their betting pool because of parker’s premonition power however pj knows her sister can see the future and frequently engages to change the circumstances. parker does meddle as much as her sister. and like yeah parker is p witchy she does focus a lot on combat she did turn her cupid ring into an athame bc like. fuck yeah. but she isn’t like chris or kat where she’s like I Am A Witch Full Stop she really does see herself as a cupid she had yet to like. Set Up a relationship like pj does but she doesn’t consider herself any less cupid for that she is a cupid that is who she is. she’d just like. a tiny violent one.

peyton powers are telekinesis, beaming, sensing love. again kind of like parker where she still very much identifies as half cupid she just doesn’t do mayn cupid things. i mean she’s also like 14 so like give it time but yeah pj was ten and putting couples together on the playground like it was wild. and it’s not like parker where she doesn’t have the eq to do it like parker just straight up doesn’t know what to say to steer to people together she’d just be like hey u to r in love with each other so. have at it. like baby peyton could probably get it right in the very subtle classic cupid manner she’s just too shy. like she could not imagine just walking up to someone and talking to them lmao. especially not about love. and since the girls aren’t full cupid they don’t have temporal manipulation they can’t move through time nor can they slow it down to speak to people’s subconscious but if she could that’s what peyton would do. bc she does love love in the very true cupid sense she just like. like talking to people?? aaaaaa amirite lads.

#charmed #next gen #margaretsminiessays #wyatt halliwell #chris halliwell #melinda halliwell #tamora mitchell #kat mitchell #pj halliwell #parker halliwell #peyton halliwell #charmed next generation #💌

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angeltriestoblog · 4 years

Text

I figured out what I want to do with my life! And made a vision board!

It came to me in a flash, really. One minute, I was watching a handpainted narration of the life and death of one of the greatest painters of all time, and next thing you know, I've abandoned it completely and started furiously typing away at my laptop about what I envisioned myself to be in five years' time. And I know I've had my fair share of false alarms in life: I thought I had what it takes to be a lawyer after seeing Legally Blonde for the first time while on my way to a school field trip, and seriously considered pursuing a career as a fashion blogger or MTV VJ because I was kind of fed up with school.

But this one just makes sense. Advising and assisting clients in producing content, collaterals, and campaigns according to their business objectives and based on collected data! It marries my love for writing, my knack for snooping around (the academic term is research!), and the specialty in technology and management my university ensures I'll have at the end of my four-year degree. i have yet to see how it’ll allow me to give back to society since that’s also a factor I want to consider in looking for a dream job but I’ll make it work. I found it hard to sleep that night, thanks to this nerdy, giddy kind of adrenaline rush I had. I broke down this big idea into smaller and smaller action steps until all I had left was a refined list of ideas and intentions, and a splitting headache.

I needed to make sure I was constantly reminded of their existence so all my choices and decisions would serve as a step closer to reaching all of them. So I caved in to the wishes of the "law of attraction" side of the Internet, and created my very own vision board! Simply put, this act of visualization is a powerful technique that can be used to manifest desires and reach goals. Our subconscious minds mainly recognize symbols and images: by merely looking at our vision boards everyday, subliminal messages are being sent to our brains, which will encourage them to work tirelessly to achieve the statements we are feeding to them. I can't find any explanation for this that's less abstract but since many people seem to swear on it and I have a lot of free time and printer ink, I figured why not, right?

It was convenient that I had this small corkboard from Daiso already stuck to one corner of my bedroom wall with several layers of double-sided tape. It used to be a year-long calendar of birthdays but I realized that I've never referred to it and often have to rely on either Facebook reminders or stock knowledge--there is no in between. All I had to do was to look at my list of goals, and compile photos that correspond to each of them, cut them up and arrange them in an aesthetically pleasing manner. You'll see below that I lacked the stereotypical luxury car and beachfront mansion with a walk-in closet and that's because I decided to focus on my goals for the next five years so it looks even a little bit more achievable.

Here's the finished product, along with explanations for each picture, to make this how-to more personal and to also hold myself accountable.

Make my girl Jenna Rink and everybody at Poise proud by writing for a magazine | I had listed a specific one at the time, and if you follow me on Twitter and Instagram, you already know what it is and how this endeavor turned out - but on this blog, I'll shroud it in a little cloud of mystery for now and talk about it more in a future post. I'm very happy producing content for this space of mine and have no intention of stopping any time soon. But at the same time I know that I'd be missing out if I didn't take the chance to be part of a community that leads me to like-minded individuals, allows me to grow even more in my craft, and "gives creators a space to speak their minds and push the limits of their artistry, without imposing any restrictions or expectations", as I stated in my application form.

Be active in three organizations next school year | (I had to blur one of them out because I'm not a member yet and I don't want to jinx it.) I know it's bold of me to assume that we'll be returning to school any time soon, but if we are ever lucky enough, I want to outdo myself when it comes to the orgs I'm a part of. I have been a good follower throughout my first two years of college but now I believe it's my time to try my hand at leading a group of people and being more involved in the conceptualization and execution of projects.

Go on a trip to Europe | Not even just a specific group of countries anymore (I used to be a France, Italy, Spain supremacist)--I mean the entire continent! (But then again, with its rich history and culture, picturesque tourist spots, diverse cuisines... even the sheer adrenaline rush that comes with being in a land completely different from the one you come from, how could anyone not want to go?

and 12. Get the job of my dreams | I actually nicked these photos from the website of a cooperative I want to work for once I graduate from college. I know that I can't plan out the rest of my career trajectory as early as now: things are bound to change at some point, but I hope that I stay in a field that combines creativity and business strategy to craft campaigns, create meaningful content, and market solutions to brands.

Expand my network | I acknowledge how knowing people who know people who know people can open windows of opportunities that I wouldn't have been able to have anywhere else. But I also look forward to building genuine connections with people from all sorts of industries. Talking to the same circle of friends can sometimes feel like you're trapped in an echo chamber: there is certainly much to learn from others' viewpoints.

Volunteer to teach kids | I don't think the written word could have changed my life as much as it did, had it not been for the presence of English teachers who believed in the power of the language to shape the minds of the youth. I guess this is just me trying to give back and help the next generation express their ideas and bring them to life by channeling my inner John Keating.

Maintain a clean workspace that is conducive to productivity | Especially during these days, I spend a solid 18 out of 24 hours sat at my desk, trying my best to make magic happen. It's very important that I keep it a constant and active source of inspiration, free from any distractions, and at the right level of comfort. Although it's not as minimalist as I hoped it would be and my table is about an inch too high for my liking, I'm still pretty satisfied!

Document memories consistently, be it through a physical or online journal | Speaking of clearing out my room, I recently found around 20 notebooks I had filled up over the years. Though maintaining them must have been such a hassle especially as I got older and reading through them was a distraction from completing the task at hand, I am thankful I painstakingly chronicled everything going on in my life and kept them in good condition. Seeing the goals I had set for myself all those years ago and how I achieved most of them without making a conscious effort has inspired me to do my older self a favor by putting in the work now so she can reap the rewards. (While I'm on this note, can anyone recommend a good app for journaling? I keep all my current entries in my Mac's Notes app because even though I am more of an analog person, I seemed to have lost the patience and persistence required to keep a physical journal. But at the same time, I'm scared of my laptop suddenly cr*shing and wiping out everything I had stored)

Stay focused on my work always | I didn't know how to show this without having to spell it out in words so I Photoshopped my face onto the head of a woman working in a cafe because those who study in coffee shops along Katip always look like they're getting stuff done.

Keep learning about the world even when I'm outside of the classroom | And this is not limited to frequenting the nearby museum, although that does sound like a great idea right now. This could also mean attending seminars, workshops, and talks, buying books and binge-watching documentaries or YouTube videos about a topic that I find interesting, engaging in discourse with someone (plus points if they have a different viewpoint!)

Write my own book | Before I even found out that humans were destined to pick a career and work until they died, I already knew that I wanted to spend my days as a writer. Specifically, I wanted to see my name on the cover of a book: By Angel Martinez. (Please refer to the 4:32 of this video and look at how far this dream actually goes back.) But once I realized that I wanted to enter the world of business, I thought I would have to give this up altogether. Thankfully, I now know that one's ability to get published is not reliant on their career--I mean, even beauty gurus get book deals these days. I'm not really sure what it's going to be about but I'd honestly be down for anything: even if it's just a compilation of my best entries on this blog.

13. Go all out when I take myself on self-care dates | I'm talking about picnics at the beach, with a basket full of fruits, a posh looking hat, and a good piece of classic literature! Or fancy dinners for one complete with as many glasses of red wine as I can down! People watching at Downtown Disneyland like my paternal grandmother in hand, with a plastic bag of souvenirs on one hand and a cream cheese pretzel on the other! (The possibilities are endless and I'm already mapping most of them out.)

14. Be financially stable enough to re-enact that one scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian Ward struts down the streets of Beverly Hills in a chic white dress and black hat, an endless number of shopping bags in tow | The part where I humiliate a sales lady who snubbed me the day before because she didn't think I could afford what she was selling by saying, "You work on commission, right? That's right. Big mistake, big, huge." is entirely optional.

I also included some two inspirational sayings that were originally laptop wallpapers from The Everygirl. I feel like they perfectly sum up the attitude I want to have as I forge my own path and accomplish everything I have set out for myself. If I was somehow able to convince you that this activity serves as the perfect springboard for all your dreams and aspirations, here are a couple of tips that could hopefully help you make yours!

Be ready for some intense introspection | Though it may look like a simple arts and crafts activity at the surface, making an effective vision board simply cannot be achieved if you're not willing to do some much needed reflection and watch it balloon into a full-on existential crisis. Identify which areas of your life are most important to you and how you would like to see them evolve over a period of time.

Specificity is key | The trick is to make your goals as concrete as possible, then translate them into visual elements. I know some people who wanted to get into particular universities, who have Photoshopped their names onto acceptance letters and pinned those to their corkboards. As stupid as that may sound in retrospect, I reckon it's an elaborate way of claiming something that's right within your reach.

Design it any way you want | Don't feel pressured to make it look like it's worthy to be on someone else's Pinterest because that's exactly how you lose sight of why you're doing it in the first place. The only person your final output has to resonate with is you.

Don't get discouraged | Although a vision board can attract positive energy and manifest your intentions to the universe, one thing it isn't capable of doing is granting your wishes in an instant. Don't be upset if what you have cut out and stuck on has yet to happen: I truly believe in the saying that the more you look for something, the more it seems to avoid you. Instead, continue to work hard and focus on the progress that you have already made.

Have you made a vision board of your own already? How has it turned out, and how many of the things you had put up have come true? I know you may be a complete stranger from the other side of the world but I'd be happy to hear from you anyway! Wishing you love and light always, especially during trying times such as this. Wash your hands, pray for our frontliners, and check your privilege!

#recs #personal #quarantingz #angeltriestoblog #vision board #goal setting

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existentialburden · 4 years

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all!! please talk about your ocs!!!!

:OOOO I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU.... (for real thank you I’m super out of it rn, assignments have me fucked up) this is goin under a read more because I am going to go OFF

who’s friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

okay so with my ocs let’s start with C9 in general! the entire session has a sort of tense vibe with everyone together but it’s the type where they all know if they need to they can rely on each other. it’s just the situation making them all volatile.

for squads Aila has her moirail squad with two of my pal’s ocs, Lyla and Kodi, and it’s just all comfort there. Lyla and Kodi make sure that Aila doesn’t go off and fume by herself when she’s pissed off, Kodi and Aila make sure Lyla’s not just staying in the depression hive that is her room, and Lyla and Aila make sure Kodi doesn’t hide away and sew for hours when he gets upset. it’s mostly a “get the fuck over here and socialize instead of dwelling on every bad thought” crew but sometimes it’s just about sitting in the same room as someone else. and sending memes to each other. she also considers Dukkel a friend, but that vibe is more of a “Dukkel is manipulative and Aila is too volatile to be effectively manipulated” sorta deal. they hang out though and genuinely enjoy each other’s company so I’m counting it. she’s also pals with Joel (not mine)- she does think she has a crush on him? but she’s always real unsure of these things. either way she likes being around him and he likes being around her. that vibe is “awkward but in a cute dorky way”. also friends with Hurlii (also not mine) but they’re... dating?? hate-dating??? they both refuse to pin that down but they sit under the stars and vent a little bit to each other and get out their emotions and it’s cute. I’ve written about them cuddling before it’s adorable. her and Louise swap memes sometimes so y’know what that’s a friendship too. and she talks to a group of horrorterrors who gossip about her sessionmates with her. Aila has a lot of connections because she’s the Session Leader and also she’s tiny so everyone goes “:O a baby....”. sort of the same way you let your little sibling hang out with you and your pals because they get so excited about it.

Hope is friends with a DIFFERENT pal’s oc, Kori. their vibe is also comfort and chillin. Kori reassures Hope that no, not being able to talk to people is not bad and people don’t hate you. Hope listens when Kori talks about timeline stuff and helps her take precautions to soothe her anxiety. they’re also the alchemiter squad figuring out how to make new objects all the time. they stick real close. Hope’s also pals with Kodi! Kodi actually mediates between her and Aila. Hope can cut loose a little around Kodi and ends up with a surprisingly carefree attitude around him. things are a LITTLE awkward between them but they’re buds. Kodi keeps her in check. (Hope’s also friends with Lyla, kind of? they’re hate-dating but they are so soft for each other.) she used to go play poker with some SBURB constructs but :( no more.

Fantra is moirails with Panda (just assume if they don’t end up with their own list they’re a pal’s oc okay) and they vibe. there’s a little more flirting than necessary in their friendship and they DEFINITELY cuddle. they’re actually really adorable. again, I don’t know if dating counts, but Fantra’s dating Lyla and they’re cute but still sort of figuring things out. Fantra gives Lyla all the attention she asks for and it’s adorable.

Dukkel is sort of friends with Aila but I already talked about that. she doesn’t have a lot of friends other than Ails, actually. it’s. kind of sad? but he doesn’t really go out of his way to befriend people. she has more connections, just not... positive ones.

NOT ALL OF THE ALPHAS ARE FLESHED OUT SO I SWEAR THEY HAVE MORE CONNECTIONS BUT

Mell is pals with Dott and they’re fucking chaotic. I adore them but oh jeez. Mell’s the Responsible One and she’s not responsible at all she just used to pick Dott up from parties and then hold her hostage to help redesign furbies. they’re great. actually, the entire alpha session is great because they’re all in a D&D group. Mell sometimes chats with Cole and thinks he’s alright but also a huge NERD and jokingly makes fun of him for it. Cole doesn’t mind because he is, in fact, a massive nerd. (also Mell ends up dating Lyla it’s a whole thing don’t worry about it they’re adorable)

outside of her session she’s friends with Orca in a sort of “hey this kid needs more friends. now they’re the designated little sibling of the squad” way. she teaches them cool new horrific crafts. Mell just can’t let them sit there when their two friends are busy smh come join in craft time and also here’s how to play D&D. it’s real nice!

Cole is dating Peri! they co-DM in oneshots and he fleshes out NPCs while she worldbuilds and it’s adorable. they’re soft and sweet and cuties. also chats with Mell as I said before!

ALTS: the session as a whole is messy. everything runs fine but it’s less a team and more a bunch of people forced to work together. they’re pretty good at doing things they don’t want to do, though, so gg.

Enny’s friends with Juli. Juli calls her out on her bullshit and Enny holds Juli accountable for her own messes. they’re more functional than they look. Enny is also friends with Kods (not Kodi. alt Kodi.) and they consider themselves siblings even if the specifics are a lil wild. they threaten each other but they don’t usually mean it. they care about each other. also they shared a creepypasta phase that tbh Enny never got over. she’s also kind of pals with Jess but in a “thank you for helping me keep these guys in check. in return I will not swear at you” kinda way and just. mutual understanding of being stubborn when it comes to working at things.

outside of just the alt C9 crew (and delving into SPACE PIRATE TERRITORY): Enny’s also pals with Cece (yet another pal’s OC! the only pal mentioned that technically doesn’t work on the Official C9 Stuff but whatever I love him so much. all of the ones mentioned “outside their session″ are his <3!!!!) even though they stopped hanging out as much. Cece taught her how to paint and have a decent hobby and Enny appreciates it every day. their friendship is dear to my heart. makes me feel nice. Enny is friends with Tate too! they roomed together on the spaceship and even though they aren’t too talkative with each other sometimes that isn’t necessary. also kinda pals with Jody? they don’t hang out too much but Enny secretly thinks she’s a friend. they’re the short Light player squad. too curious for their own good. it got kinda hard for them to talk to each other in person because of an incident but Enny still thinks she’s cool and nice. and there’s Echo! Echo’s her friend and therapist who taught her how to talk about her feeeeelings. which is VERY important. everyone say thank you Echo. Enny enjoys his company and y’know it’s sometimes (SOMETIMES) nice to be totally open. hard but nice. well. it’s complicated. but thank you Echo. .....ENNY IS ALSO PALS WITH [REDACTED]. in “canon” right now they’re “rivals to acquaintances” but they have pet names for each other so what is the truth. they’re very cryptic and trade information but that means Enny’s actually very honest with him so they’re. adorable. they care a lot about each other and try to help each other when they need it. it’s so cute. I’m soft for them. they’ve always had a certain level of respect for each other and I VIBE WITH THAT. love me some respect and comfort in this house. also they totally cuddle.

Deuuuux is friends with Juli. Juli may be blunt and harsh in her humor but Deux vibes with it. she knows she’s just being snarky for the sake of being snarky. they hang out and it’s all very cool and fun. also pals with Kods, but that’s a LITTLE more strained. they still hang from time to time but it’s hard for Deux to tell when he needs his space. also hate-dating Jess but no, actually, they end up being like “wait this is stupid I don’t think I actually hate anything about you. which makes this just dating. ...heck yeah.” Jess keeps tabs on Deux’s volatile mental state and Deux makes sure SHE’S doing okay. like hey take a break. you deserve good things too.

outside of the alt C9 crew Deux is close with Wynn! they have a more sibling bond than anything else. found family. added onto this because Deux actually has a real squad, holy shit, is Echo! Deux is the Official Captain, Wynn made the spaceship they’re on, and Echo is the ship advisor. Deux goes to them when she wants a second opinion on things, which is a lot of the time. Echo is constantly side-eyeing Deux’s depression. it’s hilarious and I love them A LOT. SO MUCH. Deux and Wynn are also the ship chefs, though Wynn more so than Deux. I choose to believe they work on recipes together but that’s just me. Deux is also friends with [REDACTED 2], even if it was shaky at first. they bond over their annoyance at [REDACTED]- and they both get the feeling of being overworked and then looking over at other people goofing off. like damn, a little help here please? they’re so tired. Deux is so tired. someone give her a break.

West! is not C9, technically, but they’re still mine so :P. West is best friends with Fern and they game together. they like to try and fuck up games with West posing hypothetical glitches and Fern pulling them off. also they just hang out and it’s all fun times with them. West is also kinda pals with Alex- sometimes they hang and Alex gave West his old glasses for them to pop out the lenses and wear so that was cool of him. they just vibe and Alex thinks it’s nice that West appreciates their humor.

outside of their session they’re friends with Ulfort and Hazel! they’re a squad. Ulfort is the Responsible One, Hazel is the Bad Influence, and West is the Impressionable Chaos Enabler. I love them all. they goof and have a good time but also worry about each other and that’s real sweet. also Enny and [REDACTED] but in a parental figure sort of way so I’m only including it here and not in Enny’s- also because it’s only in certain aus. also only in certain aus is their friendship with Orca. they bond over similar excitable traits and they started out a little rocky but they’re friends!

Hazeee is also best buds with Fern! sure Haze is crushing on Fern but that doesn’t mean they aren’t pals. they support each other emotionally and also they’re totally both furries. like Fern COULD show her fursona to West and they’d support her but it’s not their interest so they don’t really know how they’re supposed to react so Fern and Haze get the fun of a mutual interest. Haze is also pals with June- xe’s Haze’s right-hand. June helps advise Haze and proposes new ideas and also teases Haze for crushing on Fern. it’s all in good fun though.

Fern is just pals with West and Haze and they’re both her best friends. no she will not rank them. she shouldn’t have to.

outside of her session sheeee’s totally in love with Ulfort and Rita. interacting with Ulfort she’s likes to try and make him flustered a lil bit. with Rita she’s much more shy about it. it’s so cute. she thinks they’re both very very pretty. this is still only in certain aus because otherwise they don’t interact... ...unless? hmu my boyyyyy show me the canon we could have had/can have [eyes emoji]

June is best friends with Alex. they thrive off their differences but June enjoys getting to just have FUN with Alex and Alex loves having support from June. they hang ALL THE TIME. they support each other and tease each other and make sure they know where the lines are. June’s also pals with Haze as mentioned above!

outside of xir sesh June’s pals/something else ;) with Orca. but like. only in certain aus. they’re. how do I describe this without getting into the aus. uh. they’re cute as hell okay? Orca spoils June and June lightly teases Orca and they’re adorable. they care about each other so so much.

Alex is besties with June and pals with West. yes he plays favorites :P.

Theo and Fate are best friends and found-family twins and they’re chaotic as a duo. Fate describes emotions to Theo and Theo describes colors to Fate and that’s adorable but Fate’s encouraging Theo to make horrorterror deals and Theo’s like what if I abused my god tier powers instead and it’s CHAOS. I love them so much. no one else they’re all they’ve got babey!

Luca is dating Elli and Julius (who are also dating) and they’re a squad all on their own. Elli and Julius are weebs and Luca makes fun of them for it but he’s the one dating them so rip. Luca loves them both so much but him and Elli have more of a “childhood friends” vibe (because they are) and Luca and Julius have a “flirt vs one very pretty boy” vibe (because that’s exactly what’s going on these aren’t vibes these are just what’s happening). they’re all ADORABLE. none of them have any other friends but specifically Luca doesn’t because he’s mine and he’s lonely. rip.

Orca is pals with/dating June as mentioned above! and pals with West! and friends with Mell!

I’m not gonna get too into the SBURB 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO squad because the friendships aren’t entirely fleshed out but Pistol and Spike are friends and Spike’s totally crushing on Pistol and it’s cute. they’re cute. I rest my case.

I’M GONNA DO THE REST OF THE QUESTIONS IN A REBLOG BECAUSE DEAR GOD.

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pikachunas · 5 years

Text

Chrono Clobbered

“Are you gonna finish your french toast sticks?”

Jay looked up from his tray. The Burger King was crowded for a Monday morning and he was eager to get home and sleep for the rest of his day off. “You can have em’” Jay muttered. “I’m not hungry.” Ennis sighed and reach across the booth to grab a french toast stick off of Jay’s tray. “It’s always hard at first, but this is a good time to focus on doing things you enjoy and pursuing stuff you’re passionate about.” Jay stared blankly into his lap. “Some people say getting back to work sooner than later can help occupy your mind.” Finally, Jay looked up “No” he insisted. “There are too many memories there… good and bad.” Ennis paused for a second. “I hate to see you like this, but I know that you’ll feel better with time.” Jay scoffed “The only time I’ll feel better is in the past. There’s nothing left for me to look forward to.”

“I could tell you how to go back in time but you wouldn’t believe me.” Ennis teased. Jay raised an eyebrow and turned his palms upwards, shrugging. “You just have to take a punch.” Jay sighed “I would take a punch from present day Mike Tyson and then another one from 1991 Mike Tyson if it meant I could go back then and start over.” Ennis chuckled “then you’ll be relieved to learn that it’s not a Hall of Fame boxer you have to get slugged by.”

“Alright, then who is it?”. Jay was genuinely curious. “Do you know Mike Moak?” Ennis asked. Jay nodded “I know of him, I’ve seen After the Fall a bunch of times but I’ve never spoken to him for longer than a couple of minutes.” Ennis put a hand on Jay’s shoulder “Then you know what you’re getting into.” Jay shook his head “I don’t understand. What does Mike Moak have to do with going back in time?” He was already upset but now he was confused and growing increasingly irritated. He had seen Mike Moak in person enough to know that he was much too small and out of shape to throw a punch that could knock someone to the ground, let alone break the time space continuum.

“I know a guy who got in a fight with him in high school and he says he travelled back in time after MIke clocked him.” Jay was in no mood for jokes and he didn’t want to entertain this nonsense, but his curiosity was piqued. “That doesn’t make any sense.” He pondered out loud “Did he not wake up after Mike hit him?” Ennis looked away and rubbed his chin pausing for a moment “of course he did, but he was different ever since. Something changed in him and he wasn’t shy about telling people he had gone back in time. He made a believer out of me.”

“You believe him?” Jay asked. “Hell yes I do” Ennis replied emphatically. “He won $3,000 when he bet that the Giants would beat the undefeated 2007 Patriots in Super Bowl XLII.” Jay curled his lip “You’re telling me this guy knew for a fact the Giants were going to win as heavy underdogs and he still only won $3,000?” Ennis smirked and nodded “That’s what I’m telling you. That was not an easy call back then. They were 12 point underdogs.” Jay lifted himself out of his chair, almost jumping “If he travelled back in time from the future and knew for a certainty the Giants were gonna win that game, how come he didn’t bet everything he owned on it?” Ennis shrugged “I’m sure he did but he didn’t have that much to bet. It’s not like he knew he was gonna travel back in time, and I would venture to guess that if you get punched hard enough that it sends you back in time then you’re not exactly Stephen Hawking when you wake up…. At least not intellectually.”

Jay watched Ennis and waited for a smirk or giggle or some kind of tell that he was bluffing. Any indication that this was an act. “I believe him” Ennis doubled down “he’s just got that vibe like there’s something peculiar about him… like he really is from another time or dimension or something. You’ll understand when you meet him.” Jay thought for a second before pontificating “it’s just so absurd, I know it can’t be true, but I want to suspend disbelief and go into it with an open mind… just for the sake of his act.” Ennis slapped Jay on his back between his shoulders “If it’s an act then he deserves an Oscar for his commitment to the craft, because he’s living it.” Jay faked a smile “Snake oil salesman always do when they’re being watched.” he alleged. Ennis laughed and patted Jay’s back a few more times “That’s the thing about this guy, my friend… he’s got nothing to sell but a story and he’s giving it away to anyone who will listen.”

Later that evening, still unconvinced, Jay invited his friend Teddy to get lunch the following afternoon. Teddy had always been more involved in the local music scene than he ever was, and she would surely be much more familiar with Mike Moak. They agreed to meet at the Iron Gate Cafe on Washington Ave in Albany. Jay arrived first and was seated at a table by the kitchen. When Teddy walked in, he waved to signal her and she walked over to greet him at the table. Before she finished hanging her purse on the back of her chair Jay asked “How will do you know Mike Moak? Do you still see him at shows?” Teddy froze and looked at Jay before taking her phone out of her purse and sitting down. “A little, not super well” she replied “I see him about once a month at a bar or a show I’d say.” “How big is he now, do you like him?” Jay inquired. “Not very” Teddy responded at once. “I mean, he’s chubby and moody and obnoxious, so I don’t talk to him if I don’t have to. He always kind of reminded me of the Mayor of Halloweentown from the Nightmare Before Christmas. Both in shape and attitude. Why the sudden interest in him?” she finally inquired.

“I might have to start a fight with him” Jay responded blankly. “Oh… ok” Teddy countered inquisitively uncertain of whether or not she wanted to know more. “Well, you’d probably win” she paused “he must cut his coke with powdered sugar because nobody that parties as much as him should be that overweight. He’s got the same body type and hairline as the Penguin from Batman Returns.” She took a sip of the coffee she ordered and moaned “I hate to do it but I have to ask. Why do you feel like you need to start a fight with Mike Moak?”

Jay crossed his hands on the table. “I met someone who says that Mike punched him in high school and it sent him back in time.” Teddy laughed out loud, cackling at the thought “That’s great, but I don’t understand the joke” she chuckled “why do you want to go back in time anyway?” Jay looked away “There’s just something… someone I need to start over with.” The room fell silent “Is it someone that passed away?” Teddy asked somberly. “No…nothing like that” Jay answered “It’s just something I can’t let go, and I’d rather risk the rest of my life than keep going on without them.” Teddy was silent for a second then pried “that’s sad, and strangely romantic, but can’t you just talk to them?” Jay shook his head “Too many things have happened that can’t be taken back… I may have said or done something wrong at some point, or I wasn’t honest enough with myself, or I came on too strong… I don’t know, but I know I could make it right.” Jay thought out loud.

“Have you thought about talking to someone?” Teddy asked thoughtfully “Sometimes it can be really helpful to get an unbiased objective opinion.” Jay exhaled a frustrated sigh “There’s nobody else I want to talk to, just forget I said anything.” Teddy nodded “I’m not trying to second guess you, and you know I’ll support whatever you think you need to do, but you’re scaring me a little bit” She paused for a moment, shaking her head struggling to decide whether or not she should even continue to entertain this conversation. “I’ve never seen him swing on anyone but I don’t think he could throw a hard enough bare knuckle punch to knock you off your feet, let alone back in time.” She could tell Jay was anxious by the way he was toying with the straws and sugar packets. “I know that you know how silly this sounds and I hope that you know if you’re going through anything you can talk to me about it.” Jay looked into the distance before meeting Teddy’s eyes “Thank you” he murmured. He then shoved his money, the sugar packets and his still full cup of coffee to the center of the table in one thrust. “But I don’t want to talk about it, I want a chance to start over.”

Jay opened the door to Ennis’ 1984 Corolla and sat next to him in the passenger seat. “I have to remind you” Ennis warned “this guy is pretty wild. This is gonna be a fascinating experience for you. “I’m ready” Jay assured him. “I’m going in with an open mind and I’m willing to try anything.” The ride only lasted about 15 minutes from Jay’s Albany apartment before they parked in front of a modest single family home in the suburbs. “One last thing…” Ennis alerted “he goes by “The Chrone” Jay couldn’t help but break “Ha what?” he laughed “Why?” Ennis opened the door “Short for Chrononaut…. A Time Traveller” he responded stepping out of the car. He was afraid if he thought about it too long he would be overcome by how preposterous this was and he would succumb to logic and reason. He stepped out of the car and followed Ennis to the front door. Ennis rang the bell and after a moment, a near-elderly woman in a light sweater with ducks on it appeared in the doorway. “You must be some of Gordie’s friends” she said smiling. “Come on in, I’ll show you to his room.”

Jay entered the Chrone’s room and was overcome with nostalgic sentiment. He became fully engrossed in the atmosphere and found himself unable to look away from the E.T., Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Surf Ninjas, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Super Mario World, the Legend of Zelda, Mortal Kombat, X-Files and Resident Evil posters that covered the walls. The Chrone was laying spread eagle in a beanbag chair in the center of the room playing NHL 95 on Super Nintendo and listening to “...And Justice For All” by Metallica. He was wearing a Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness T-shirt and a Misfits Crimson Ghost hat. Strewn out on the coffee table in front of the Chrone were stacks of Pokemon cards and Nintendo Power magazines. Jay sat beside Ennis on a futon that was against the wall adjacent to where the Chrone was seated.

“Welcome dudes” the Chrone said without looking away from the television. “Hey man! Thanks for letting me stop by” Jay replied enthusiastically. “Ness said you were interested in becoming a chrononaut.” Jay had picked up and was studying a Tamagotchi that was in the attached cup holder of the futon. “That’s why I’m here… it sounds too good to be true but I’m willing to try anything.” The Chrone stood up and walked over to the stereo that was resting in the center of a bookshelf that was spilling comic books from every shelf. He turned a knob to lower the volume and then looked at Jay, “I can only speak to my own experience, but I have no reason to believe the results couldn’t be replicated if the methods are the same.” Jay put the Tamagotchi down and looked at the Chrone to try and read any potential signs that this was a goof. The Chrone met Jay’s gaze “I wasn’t asking for it, and I didn’t want it… I was just a high school senior in 2007 trying to get laid and next thing I know it’s 1996 and I’m 12 years old again.” Jay stared at the Chrone for a minute and thought to himself before quizzing “If you went all the way back to 1996 why didn’t you invest in Microsoft or invent Google or something?”

The Chrone had told this story and had therefore answered this exact question dozens of times “I tried that kind of thing for a while. I told my parents that Apple was a surefire investment but to them I was just a kid with a sudden and fleeting interest in business and they shrugged it off. I would have loved to invent the iPod or developed Amazon.com but I didn’t have the money or resources to capitalize on what little knowledge I had retained from the future and by the time I was old enough to earn my own money the only thing I could remember was that the Patriots lost the Superbowl after their undefeated 2007 season. I told everyone I knew and I saved as much as I could but I was only able to save a couple grand. By then I had been living in an apartment with two roommates and delivering pizzas. I still had to live my life and I wasn’t positive that going back hadn’t altered the current reality I was living in. I was confident, but if I did nothing but save money and then I lost it all in a bet it would take me years to recover. You don’t realize how much of your life becomes forgettable when it’s just the same routine day to day. There were moments and events that I thought I remembered but most of the time it was no different than experiencing Deja Vu.”

Jay sat still and looked up at the Chrone. He hesitated for a moment then asked “I get this guy to hit me, then what?” The Chrone picked up a Dragonball Z Goku action figure that was on the bookshelf “if you do what I tell you then the same thing that happened to me will happen to you.” Jay was encouraged by the confidence with which the Chrone delivered this promise. He knew the story was laughably outrageous, but as far as he was concerned, he had run out of options and this was the desperate measure brought on by the desperate times in which he was living. .

“What if he kills me?” Ennis whispered, staring at the ground.

“Are you afraid to die?” the Chrone asked.

“I’m a little afraid of what comes next”

“If you believe what I’m telling you you’ll get a chance to live again however you choose”

“If you’re wrong, I’ll be humiliated or dead”

“Would you give what’s left of your life to relive the best times?”

“That’s why I’m here”

“Then do as I say”

Jay flipped his notepad open and tried to focus in spite of the millions of thoughts he had racing in his head. He exhaled “Mike seems like such a sensitive guy, how do I make him mad enough to hit me?” The Chrone sat back down in his bean bag chair and leaned back “There is only one way” he paused “You have to date his ex girlfriend.” Ennis froze, staring straight ahead. This wasn’t a qualifying objective that he was expecting to hear. He hadn’t had a girlfriend since high school and struggled to remember the last time he had even been on a date. After a moment, he flipped his notebook closed and asked, his voice breaking “I’m not very good with women, what if she doesn’t like me?”

“She’s never met a man she doesn’t like” the Chrone assured him “Swooning her will be the easy part.”

“What’s the hard part?” he asked nervously.

The Chrone smiled “Faking it for long enough to draw his attention.”

Again, Jay found the Chrone’s confidence to be encouraging “That’s ridiculous, how bad can she be?” he wondered out loud.

“She’s cursed with the face and the odor of a sewer dwelling rodent. Are you attracted to Dave Grohl?”

“Jesus… no. I mean, I like the Foo Fighters but I never got into Nirvana”

“Then this is going to be very difficult for you.”

Jay rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand “Why does he like her so much then? He’s a talented, decent looking guy.”

“He wanted a woman which no man would desire. He understands that his jealousy is a weakness that he’s unable to control.”

Jay paced back and forth in a daze of bewilderment “None of this makes any sense, can’t I just hit him first or break one of his guitars or something?”

“Nothing else will inspire the rage necessary to elicit the desired response. If you want to go back, this is the only way.”

Jay sat down and cupped his nose and his mouth with his hands. He sat still for a moment and then released another heavy sigh “How do I find her?”

The following Friday night Jay drove to the bar that the Chrone had told him about. The Chrone had assured him that Michelle hung out there every Friday night since she and Mike had broken up in an effort to meet guys in other bands. Jay wasn’t sure who was playing, but he was hopeful that he would find Michelle inside. Before he walked in he stopped to consider how long it had been since he had approached a woman he didn’t know with the intention of asking her out. Had he ever?

Reluctantly, he walked into the building. The room he entered was narrow with an elevated stage at the end opposite the entrance. There couldn’t have been fifteen people in the bar but there was a band playing that had two keyboards next to each other on stage. He walked to the bar and scanned the room. It didn’t take him long to notice a short girl with thick dark hair in a messy bun and eyeglasses that looked like they were bought at a Golden Girls celebrity auction. She was doing a dance that looked like she was running in place while goose-stepping. She was kicking her feet out in front of herself one after the other while swaying her folding arms back and forth as if she was jogging. He had seen it before at ska shows, but there was no brass in the band on stage, in fact, she was dancing visibly faster than the rhythm of the mellow shoegaze song that was playing.

Jay stood at the bar watching this girl dance and the realization seriously struck him that if he was going to have an opportunity to begin again he would have to spend enough time with her to elicit an emotional reaction from Mike. “Maybe things aren’t so bad” he bargained “maybe I’ve been so focused on starting over that I haven’t spent enough time thinking about how to improve things for myself going forward.” He couldn’t imagine approaching this women, or speaking to her. At this point, he would be surprised if she were capable of holding a conversation. “This girl has gotta have an extra chromosome” he thought to himself. Nevertheless, he was determined to make an impression.

He stepped in front of her and tried to match her rhythm by swaying back and forth and shuffling his feet. For the first time, he looked into her almond eyes and not ten seconds passed before she lunged forward and planted an aggressive kiss on his mouth. Their teeth collided and there was an audible clank that compelled Jay to attempt to pull away. She mirrored the movement of his head and forced her tongue into his mouth. “This isn’t so bad” he tried to convince himself as she grinded their teeth together. After 30 seconds of her gnawing and breathing into his open mouth he slowly began to tilt his face back while gently pushing her away at the waist. He stepped backwards and as they parted she took her glasses off and bit her bottom lip. “Umm” he stuttered “Do you want a drink?” She rested the tip of her glasses frames on her cheek “Vodka soda” she demanded.

Jay trudged to the bar in a stupor. He was relieved that the first, and ultimately most important, goal in his quest was accomplished so effortlessly, but the reality of what was to come was daunting. “I already wish I never met this girl, and I don’t think she even told me her name yet.” he pondered. “You alright?” the squirrely bartender with glasses and a considerable nose asked. “I don’t know, man” Jay responded without thinking “Do you ever feel like you’re already in over your head before you even get started with something?” The bartender twisted his mouth and nodded “hmmm” he mumbled “like when you start a new video game and you have no idea how to control your character or which direction to go and you’re not sure if it’s even gonna be worth playing because there are so many other games that you already know are good?” Jay stared blankly at the bartender for a moment before responding “.... I guess?” he muttered “It’s a little like that” The bartender smirked and nodded “Then yeah, I feel that way all the time. I find it’s best to give it a chance. If by the time you know what you’re doing it still doesn’t seem worth the time and energy, try something new or revert back to the classics…. Anyway, what can I get for you?”

Jay considered what the bartender said and tried to decipher some meaning from his stoner philosophical musing. “I’d rather just give up now then spend any more time with this girl and then realize it’s not worth it, though” he conceded. “No” he asserted to himself “I’m not going to allow myself to be so easily dissuaded, and I’m not gonna quit just because this girl is insufferable. I’m gonna make her fall in love with me and I’m gonna flaunt it all over town so that Mike gets so incensed he slugs me back to the Mesozoic era.” He looked up at the bartender “One Vodka Soda” he commanded.

When the bartender returned with the drink, Jay collected it and then walked back to the center of the room where Michelle was dancing. “Here ya go” he said, handing her the glass. She took a small sip to taste it and then drank the rest of the glass in one gulp. Before he could say anything she smiled and handed him the glass “Vodka soda” she repeated. “Um… OK” he mumbled before turning around and making his way back to the bar. Before he could say a word the lanky bartender had two vodka sodas waiting side by side at the edge of the bar. “This should buy you a couple more minutes” he said with a grin. “What am I getting into?” he asked the bartender, exasperated. “Well..” he said smiling “That all depends on what you’re looking for.” Jay stopped to think of the best way to explain without giving away too many details. “She seems cool” he lied “I guess I’m just looking to get to know her.” The bartender was a aghast “Why?” he asked immediately, failing to mask the look of concern and confusion on his face. Jay was puzzled and disheartened by the bartenders reaction “I don’t know” he replied “she seems fun.” The bartender threw a towel over his shoulder “I guess it depends on how desperate you are… let me know if you need anything else.”

Jay returned to MIchelle with both drinks. He handed the first one to her and again she swallowed it in one gulp. Before he could move she reached for his hand “Is this one for me too?” she asked while ripping the glass from his hand and inhaling the second vodka soda. Jay looked had her wide-eyed for a moment before she spoke again “What’s a girl gotta do to get you to buy her another drink around here?” she asked. Jay was amazed and befuddled “Dude are you serious?” he asked without thinking “Can I at least get you something you can pace yourself with?” MIchelle shrugged and pursed her lips like she was thinking “You can buy me a snack” she answered before pausing “but first…. Vodka soda.”

Jay waited for the band to finish their set before retreating to the bar to add a fourth vodka soda to his tab. When he turned to walk back towards the stage he noticed that MIchelle was kissing one of the guitar players in the band. “Jesus, what the fuck?” he cursed out loud. The squirrely bartender snickered “I could have told you that was gonna happen… she’s got a thing for dudes in bands.” Jay shook his head “I walked away for like two minutes, to get HER a drink” he was struggling to keep his voice down. “She’s moves quick” the bartender said “she’ll be bored with him before the next band is off the stage.” Jay ignored him and walked backed toward MIchelle, who had finished kissing the guitar player and was now chewing the straw from one of her drinks while he finished packing his gear. He handed her the drink “Do you know that guy?” he asked reluctantly. “Which guy?” she replied. “The guy you were just kissing?” he asked as monotone as he could. She looked at the guitar player and then back at Jay “I thought that was you” she said assuredly. Without thinking Jay snapped back “He’s like Asian or something and he’s six inches taller than me, are you feeling alright?” he inquired feigning concern.

“I’d feel better if I had a snack” Jay covered his eyes with his left hand. He had spent less than an hour and $40 on drinks with Michelle and he was ready to ride his fixed gear bike into the Hudson River. “What do you want?” he asked patiently. “I don’t know” she replied “but I’m well hung.” Jay had already spent enough time with Michelle to know that correcting her on the application of that phrase was a fool’s errand so instead he took her by the hand and led her outside to his car. “Where are we going?” she wondered aloud. “I’m assuming I have to decide for you” he said before starting his car. “Do you want to just go to Bombers and then I’ll drop you off back here?” Michelle shrugged in agreement.

“Would you like to sit upstairs or downstairs?” Jay asked after he parked in front of the restaurant. Michelle pursed her lip “The bar is upstairs” she asserted. “Alright” Jay replied holding the door open for her. While Jay was waiting for a host to seat them he turned and noticed that Michelle was no longer by his side. He scanned the room for a moment before noticing her in front of the bar with her arms around a chubby guy with a skull cap and a beard. She was thrusting her waist into the back of his legs and they were both laughing. “How many?” a waitress in a black tank top and cut off jean shorts asked. Jay looked up from the ground “Just two” he replied turning to look back at Michelle who was now taking a shot in unison with the bearded guy, their arms intertwined. “Follow me” she said and Jay followed her to a booth in the corner of the room. He sat alone for a minute confused at the behavior he was witnessing first hand, but moreso why anyone would want to date this person, and uncertain about what it is about her that someone would be willing to fight for.

While he was lost in consideration, Michelle appeared across from him “Did you order me a drink yet?” she demanded. “No, I wasn’t sure what you’d want.” Michelle tucked her head into her chest and tightened her lips, almost resembling a turtle retreating into its shell. She lifted her necklace out from under her “Propaghandi” t-shirt. Hanging from the thin rope in chipped fool’s gold letters were the words “Vodka Soda” in script lettering. “I should have guessed” he chuckled trying to hide his smile. Just then the waitress reappeared “Are you guys ready to…” “NACHOS” Michelle interrupted, hollarring. The waitress laughed nervously “and for you?” she asked, turning her gaze toward Jay. “I’ll have a tofu burrito.. And can we get a Vodka soda and a PBR draft” he requested. “I’ll be right back with that” she promised walking away as quickly as possible.

When Jay turned again to look back at Michelle, she was leaning toward him with her elbows on the table. As she crept closer, he was overcome by the smell of a citrus fruit left to ferment in a fast food dumpster. “What are you doing?” he asked with a tremble in his voice. “Kiss me ya bum” she demanded before puckering her lips with her eyes closed. Jay ducked her attempt and rolled out of the booth. “I’m gonna grab some napkins, and wash my hands; do you need anything?” MIchelle looked in his direction without looking at him directly and shook her head. When Jay came back from the bathroom he found their food waiting on the table but Michelle was nowhere to be found. He checked the rest of the tables in the lobby and the bar but she wasn’t there. The women’s restroom door was ajar so he knew it was unoccupied.

He walked downstairs to find Michelle sitting in a booth with two college aged men. When he stepped into the dimly lit room he saw that she was sitting on one man’s lap and either whispering into or nibbling on his ear. He wasn’t sure why he was still surprised but her audacity was so foreign to him. He approached the table and ignoring the men looked at MIchelle “our food is upstairs, come up whenever you’re ready” before turning away and returning to their booth. He sat by himself for a few minutes, eager to enjoy his burrito but somehow still concerned about Michelle thinking it rude if he started eating without her. After 10 minutes she appeared in the doorway and took her seat across from him, her black lipstick was smeared all around her mouth who had just eaten a chocolate ice cream cone on a roller coaster. There were visible red marks on both sides of her neck “Maybe she’s having an allergic reaction to that dudes cologne” he considered but he knew the truth was that one,each, or both at the same time, of those guys were sucking on her neck. He didn’t mind, but suddenly the panic set in that he might have to sleep with her to keep her interest or for word to get back to Mike and besides the physical act of that likely being as fun and exciting as getting a tetanus shot at your grandmother’s funeral, he didn’t doubt for a second that she might be carrying… something. He had to distract himself from these excruciating thoughts so he quickly asked “Do you work or go to school?”.

“Both” she replied while balling some cheese from the top of her plate of nachos and popping it into her mouth. “Oh cool, what do you do for work?” he was sincerely curious. “I’m a teacher.” Jay wanted to laugh but he wasn’t rude by nature and he still wasn’t positive he had sealed the deal. “Do you teach a spin class or something?” He wondered out loud, trying to mask his sarcasm. “No, I teach English as a second language in an elementary school, I’m almost done with my masters.” He stared blankly at Michelle, hoping the shock he was feeling wasn’t displayed on his face. “Do you go to the University of Phoenix or Devry or something?” he had never been more puzzled. “UAlbany” she responded, stuffing a fistfull of nachos into her mouth. He was literally speechless that this person who had kissed half of Albany and had hardly uttered a coherent sentence in the last two hours provided such a valuable and formative service to children of the community. She didn’t seem to notice that they finished their meal and he payed the bill in silence.

“You ready?” he asked, turning to step out of the booth. “Mmhmm” she mumbled before rubbing the last bit of salsa out of her side cup and then sucking on her finger. He wondered if she was trying to be seductive but she looked like a largemouth bass with human teeth struggling to swallow a breakfast sausage. Jay put on the Casket Lottery for the drive back to the bar. “This sucks” she concluded more than once on the ten minute ride. When he parked in front of the bar on Central Ave, one of the busiest roads in the city, Michelle reached over and began loosening the belt that held his corduroy pants up. “I’m kind of full” he squeaked, attempting to slunk away from her advances. “I”m not” she declared confidently. “I really think we should wait” he could feel the sweat pooling on his face. “Mmm mmm” she hummed still toiling with his belt. “Thank God the technology of a belt buckle is so perplexing to her” he obliged. He heard the thwip of his belt come undone and he could feel his pants loosen.

Just then, in a state of panic he slammed his forearms onto the steering wheel and the horn blasted a long continuous note. It was the most satisfying abrasive E flat he thought he would ever hear and she jumped back at once. “Sorry…. I’m just a little nervous” he fibbed. “It’s ok ya freak, just relax” she returned, attempting to pacify him. “Yer gonna love it.” He found himself involuntarily balling his fists and tightening his arms against his upper body. “I need to get the fuck out of here” he knew, but he had never hit a woman… or anyone, and he wasn’t about to start tonight. He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him at once “no no no no no” she mumbled gripping at the front of his pants. In a disoriented and frantic daze he absent-mindedly wrapped his upper and lower arms around her forehead and began wrenching her head back and forth. At first she tried to wiggle free “oh, you like it rough, let’s see if you can ride this bull then” she laughed. Jay ignored her and continued to placidly swing her head back and forth close to his hip in rhythm with the song that was playing. After about 30 seconds, her body became limp and she fell asleep in his lap.

He let go of a long satisfied sigh and rested his head against the back of his seat. He was profoundly relieved but too terrified of what might happen if he fell asleep so he opened the window hoping the cool air would refresh him. Suddenly, he heard a thunderous roar like a freight train colliding with a jet engine at a nuclear bomb test site. Bewildered he scanned the street only to realize that the sound was coming from his lap. Michelle had been passed out for no longer than a minute and she was already snoring like the Krakatoa volcano eruption. The rumble of her trumpeting appalled and paralyzed him. He shook his hips and she began to sway. Lifting her head she inquired “How long was I out for?” Jay was still in a fog of slackjawed confusion “Umm about two minutes” he replied. She smiled and sat up. He had had enough MIchelle for one night, and one lifetime, so he was eager to get home and die in his sleep. “You’ve been a lot of fun” he lied “I’ll text you tomorrow.” They exchanged numbers and she stumbled out of his car.

The next day Jay was playing destiny 2 and enjoying a Nine Pin Signature Cider from his couch when his phone lit up. He hadn't lived alone long and it had not been a welcome change but listening to records and gaming were a welcome distraction. He checked his messages to see Michelle had sent him a picture. He expected to be disgusted, but was pleasantly surprised to see it was just a screenshot of a different text conversation. The wall of text were from an “MM” and read “That Jay kid, really? I’ll fucking lay him the fuck out” “He’ll never be in a good band because he has no talent and nobody likes him.” “I really need to die. Expire. Disappear.” Jay was concerned at first and then his heart began pounding and he began laughing to himself when he realized his plan was working exponentially quicker than he had expected. Then he saw the most recent message and a chill shot up his spine. “I need to talk to you in person or I’m going to jump of the Patroon Island bridge.” His excitement was immediately curbed when he considered the possibility that he had spent a night with Michelle for no reason. “You should go talk to him” he texted her back “he seems really upset and there’s no reason to burn bridges…. No pun intended.” She responded a moment later “I guess. I need to get my Ipod anyway.”

Michelle arrived at Mike’s apartment and parked on the lawn. She had lived there for four years so in spite of the circumstances, she had no problem walking in unannounced and found Mike sobbing in the kitchen. “I can’t even fucking buy milk that doesn’t expire, I should soak some marb reds in a pint glass and force them down my throat.” she could hear him cursing himself from the living room. He smirked when he stepped out of the kitchen and saw Michelle lighting up his bowl on the couch. “I knew you’d come back to me when you realized you would never find someone with my creative fun qualities.” Unsolicited, he went on “Anybody who has experienced any success will just lie and deceive you… they’ll be like “I love THICC” and then fucking ghost you.” She took a long hit. “Nobody will ever appreciate you like I do or give you a life as exciting as I did. Everything you have and everybody you know that means anything is because of me.”

“Nobody will ever come close to my worth, and my talent, and my heart” Mike went on. “You fucked up. Enjoy your boring lonely bullshit life.” Mike picked the cat up off of the coffee table and held it up to his face. “Look what you’re doing to Henri” he said, rubbing the disinterested cat against his cheek. “We could have been a family… now you’ll never have anyone. Nobody is ever going to care about you as much as I did.” Michelle had become accustomed to tuning out Mike’s rambling and was crafting a paper boat out of a sheet of looseleaf paper that he had scribbled some lyrics on. The words “I’m still alone here waiting to feel the hype we once had both being psyched and in love” were visible on the starboard side of the vessel. Mike droned on “Just leave me alone unless you want to make me happy or make me cum” he proposed. “I’m stoney baloney” she announced, placing the boat on top of an empty vase that sat at the edge of the table.

Mike put the cat down on the couch, turned away, and pounded his fist against the door frame “I wouldn’t take you back if you begged, fuck you” he roared “you gave up GOLD… I’m Mike fucking Moak… I hate your fucking guts.” He covered his face with both hands “There’s no escaping you and this crippling sadness and pain” He turned around and noticed he was alone in the room. “Look at this caterpillar!” he heard Michelle celebrate from the front yard. “I’m gonna drive it to my house!” she announced picking the caterpillar up and stuffing it into the pocket of her jean jacket. She climbed into her Nissan Versa and backed out of the yard, waving as she turned to drive away. “Why doesn’t she understand that she’s in love with me?” Mike wondered while he watched her from the doorway. “It’s like she doesn’t realize I could replace her tomorrow if I wanted to… she’s making the biggest mistake of her hopeless life.” He walked back into the house and sat on the couch next to Henry.

By midnight Jay realized he hadn’t heard back from Michelle. He texted her “You alive? LOL?”. She replied less than a minute later “I forgot my Ipod but I got a caterpillar.” Before he could respond a second message came through “I crushed it in my pocket trying to find my juul though so I fed it to a toad.” Jay snickered and wrote back “Maybe if you kissed him he’d turn into a prince.” Michelle wrote back “I licked it but I didn’t feel anything and it didn’t eat the caterpillar.” and then “Do you want to come to Mike’s show tomorrow night? Everybody in his band is cool except for him.” Jay face lit up when he saw that. He couldn’t believe this plan would come to fruition so rapidly but he was glowing with delight. “You bet!” he responded. “I can’t wait!” He didn’t have to wait long for her reply “Great, I’ll pick you up at 7.”

The following night Mike was on stage when Jay and Michelle entered the bar. He was tuning his guitar and talking to the drummer of his band when Jay noticed the bass player make eye contact with Michelle. “Here we go” he thought “it’s all gonna pay off soon.” Just then the bass player walked over to Mike and said something to him. Mike spun around in a flash and ripped his guitar off his shoulder, tearing the loop of the strap.He stomped off the stage in a rage “What the fuck are you doing here?” He hollarred “Didn’t I tell you I’d fucking lay you the fuck out if I saw you?” Jay’s instincts were to run, but he had invested too much time and sacrificed too much of his pride to give up now. Suddenly he was overcome with a certainty that everything he had done in his life, and especially in the two days, had led him to this moment. “This is my manifest destiny” he thought to himself “I’ll never have to go to work, or wonder what went wrong, or kiss MIchelle again after tonight.” He planted his feet and braced himself for a confrontation. “You trying to steal my 80-85?” Mike squealed.

Jay tensed his upper body and with his newfound hardened will he held his ground “She’s my 80-85 now, motherfucker” wrapping his right arm around Michelle’s waist. Mike balled his fists and shuffled toward Jay. “I’m gonna knock you into last week” he threatened. “That’s not far enough you weeble-shaped invalid” Jay rebutted without thinking. Mike ignored the comment and stood nearly nose to nose with Jay. He exhaled, and Mike could smell onions and discount vodka on Jay’s breathe. This intense olfactory reminder of Michelle was enough to send him into a state of psychosis rage and in an instant he grit his teeth and pulled a punch with his right arm while grabbing Jay’s collar with his left. Jay’s instinct was to duck, but he knew that this moment was the culmination of everything he had endured. He flinched and turned his head slightly to the right wincing just as Mike’s closed fist connected with the left side of his face.

Jay woke to the rumbling thunder of a passing train. He opened his eyes and lifted his head off the pillow to scan his surroundings. There were cd’s stacked on a desk by a computer and records in old milk crates on the floor. He rolled off the bed and walked to the window. Across the street he could see the Menands Little League Baseball field. He smiled and nodded before he paused and let go of a long slow sigh of relief. From outside his room he could hear voice, although it was too faint to decipher what was being said or who was speaking. He stepped over a collection of “A Song of Ice and Fire” books and pushed aside a hockey stick that was resting against the bedroom door. The voice grew louder as he stepped out of the room and into the hall. He walked passed a bathroom and a set of stairs and pressed his ear against the door from where the voice was coming. A tear came to his eye when he was certain recognized who was speaking. He waited for a moment and then knocked softly. From inside the room he heard Pat say “Hold on mom... JG is at my door.”

Epilogue:

Mike sat on the couch in his empty apartment. He lifted his Gibson SG guitar off his lap and set it against the opposite armrest on the springs of the couch where a cushion was missing. He got up and walked down into the basement. He looked at the drum kit that was set up in the corner, a collection of guitar amplifiers, monitors, and speakers stood idle on both sides. “Nobody with my talent will ever use any of this stuff again.” he assured himself. “I might as well set this place on fire so nobody can taint the legacy I’m leaving behind here”. “No” he stopped himself “This place will be a historic site someday… a tribute to the monolithic phenomenon that I was and the heart and talent and greatness I left in my wake” He walked back up the stairs and closed the door behind him.

He walked to Everett road and then down the exit ramp to Interstate 90 East. He stayed on the right shoulder, pausing every couple of minutes to catch his breath. “I should really work on my cardio” he admitted “not that it matters now.” When he got to the bridge that overlooked NY route 787 and ran parallel to the Hudson River he felt nervous for the first time. “Am I really gonna do this to all my fans” he wondered. “They’ll never find another recording artist that produces as much flawless content that’s as meaningful to them.” He looked over the three lane highway that was hundreds of feet below him. “This world doesn’t deserve me” he repeated to himself. “I’m too talented… and creative….and passionate. What a waste.” He stepped over the guardrail, reaching behind his elliptical body to grip it with both hands. “So many fucking posers in this town. Nobody would even be able to find Albany on a map if I didn’t live here.” He let go of the rail with one hand. “Doesn’t matter now… this whole fucking city might as well collapse into the Hudson River.” He leaned forward. “Later Dickheads” he said out loud. He let go.

Michelle parked in front of her building and shut the engine down. She collected her jacket and purse from the passenger seat before stepping out of the car and making her way toward the entrance. She opened her purse to remove her keys and when she looked up she saw a small crate to the right of the front door. As she stepped closer, she saw that a cat was sitting on a couch cushion inside the crate. It mewed as she approached. When she got close enough to recognize him, she saw that a note was taped to the front of the cage over the latch with her name on it.

She unfolded the note and read it to herself. “Henri has a vet appointment on Monday, please take care of him.” Taped to the bottom of the note was a card with the vet’s address and the appointment time and date. She put the card in her pocket and crumbled up the note before throwing it into the shrubs outside her building. She lifted the cage and carried Henri through the front door and into her apartment. She unhinged the latch and left the gate open so Henri could come out when he was ready. She paused as she poured a can of club soda into a half empty 200ml bottle of vodka. “Who am I gonna buy cocaine from now?” she wondered.

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larissaloki · 5 years

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sharing is caring 4

man this chapter was just me self indulging in the little moments , that this got dragged on for over 6 pages XD hope everyone enjoys! @schwergaeneuser @msmynx @im-tops-bottom @jacksonfrost24 @seven-oomen @el-rezet @thoughtfulbreadpolice @cwar1864 @radiant-gift @tonakings @starsofyggdrasil

“Found anything yet General?”

T’Challa approached Okoye slowly, hands clasped behind his back as he surveys the wreck of Stark’s craft. Besides him, Okoye calls out instructions to those investigating the craft; trying to work out just how exactly things went wrong. What caused it to crash the way it did?

The plane is completely destroyed. The beautifully crafted and sleek craft now a pile of metal sheets and sparking wires. The front of the plane is still relatively intact but crumpled from the force of the crash. The pilot that they had pulled free was thankfully still just alive and taken away for intensive care. Not long after they had found Tony. Most of the damage is from the rear of the plane, making it the most likely spot where whatever caused the accident is.

Surrounding the plane is serval groups of a mixture of scientists and the Dora Milaje. Smoothing down his jacket, T’Challa makes his way closer to a group near the back of the wreck who are becoming a bit more animated. Okoye shadowing right behind him.

“Looks like we just did sir”

Taking the lead just in-case, Okoye joins the group that are carefully removing rubble from what was once a storage part of the plane possibly. Using scanners and other various tech that T’Challa hasn’t a clue how to use, and no doubt recent inventions of his brilliant sister; the group scan a smoking black object they found.

Even T’Challa can see that this box must have been the cause of the explosion, the top of whatever this was meant to of been, was blown off. Jagged, black metal warped and split by the force of the explosion that came from it and the intense heat the explosion caused at the time. As it is, there is currently no way to tell what exactly this was.

After a few moments, the team determined that whatever this was, is no longer a danger. With great care, two scientists don some thick gloves incase the metal is still too hot; they carefully pick up and turn the object around. Examining and recording each observation they find.

“Your Majesty, we found something. It’s a logo we think,”

Frowning, T’Challa makes his way to stand by the scientists to see what it is they have found on the item.

Hammer Industries.

T’Challa recongises this logo, it’s the logo of industrialist: Justin Hammer. A man that has been trying to out do Tony’s tech since the very beginning of Tony’s career if he recalls correctly. T’Challa’s not stupid either, he’s read the tabloids and papers, he knows that Tony openly despises Hammer, especially after the whole Vanko incident a while back.

So why was something with Hammer’s logo, be on Tony’s plane?

“Do you think the explosion was intended?”

Recongising the logo herself, Okoye glances up at him with a frown, both know that Hammer’s tech was faulty at best and downright dysfunctional at worst. They have seen the videos; they saw the reports that were kept out of public eyes. They found all this from research after Hammer had reached out to them, not long after they decided to open their borders to the world. To share their resources.

Hammer had not been happy when they had turned him down in favour of working with Stark, the alpha had made a few jokes, but they could clearly see that the man had felt slighted.

“Perhaps, but for Mr. Stark or us I cannot be sure. It could have been something innocent that just happened to malfunction. I’m not sure which idea would be the better option…” T’Challa nods at the scientist that found it. “Please take this to the lab, find out as much as you can about this thing. I must go and Talk to Stark about this, see if he can shred any light on this,”

Confident that everything is in good hands, a few quick words with Okoye to look out for anything more from Hammer that may have been snuck onto the plane.

~ ~ ~

When T’Challa reached the lab, he expected to see many things to be happening in there. Many odd and curious things that his sister had cooked up or wanted him to try out. Yet despite this expectation, he was still not prepared to see what greeted him.

Shuri was stood to one side of the room, her beads activated to record the scene before her, a massive grin spread across her face as she watches the others with pure joy.

The others in question where trying to unlock some sort of Vibranium ball that was shut tight around Bucky’s leg. The ball in question has a series of purple lines over it and looks like a overly complicated puzzle, similar to the Japanese puzzles. Only more Vibranium and made by his delightful sister.

Trying to work out the Puzzle is Tony and M’Baku who are both trying to yank the ball off and hitting it with a club. However, that approach seems to only yield the result of them being flung away from Bucky. Who at this point was starting to look a bit alarmed. Swearing and cursing in his native tongue, M’Baku tossed aside the club he picked up; glaring at Shuri all the while as she laughs at them. “You! the hell kind of puzzle is this?”

“Work it out!” Grinning without restraint, Shuri moves to get a better view to film them. Tony had picked himself up already and was examining the ball closely, his face drawn into a contemplative scowl as he nudges the ball this way and that. While an anxious Bucky looks on.

Shaking his head bemusedly, T’Challa makes his way over to his sister. Seemingly unable to keep his eyes off of the trio, a grin forming on his own face; watching M’Baku trying to pry the edges open. Seeming determined to use brute force to solve this issue.

“What is that sister?”

“It’s a toy, I came up with the idea for it last week while trying to solve that puzzle Nakia got me. Who better to test it than our guests?”

The cheeky, shit eating grin Shuri has speaks volumes as to how much joy this is bringing her. Watching one of the smartest people on the earth, try and solve something she made. And from the looks of it, Tony seems to be enjoying solving it.

The Omega is grinning as another idea of M’Baku’s fails, meaning that the large alpha will have to bend to the balls will and try and solve it. Already Tony is making suggestions as he converses quietly with the two alphas. T’Challa smiles as he watches before remembering why he came here in the first place.

“I must speak with Tony soon as you guys are finished here Shuri, we found something on the plane.”

“What did you find brother?”

“Trouble I fear, Hammer tech was on board…”

Frowning at that, Shuri looks up at her brother confused.

“Hammer tech? On Tony’s plane?”

Nodding, T’Challa watches as Tony starts to move sections of the ball, lining up the purple lines and pressing grooves to move other parts within. The genius seemed to be doing well at first, confidently moving the ball around. Until Suddenly Tony comes to a stop and looks a bit stumped. His hands hovering but hesitating. Humming lightly, Tony converses with the other two who now seem more focused, all three looking closely as they can at the puzzle.

Watching the trio was giving T’Challa ideas for team building exercise; also, a way to prank Okoye for her antelope in headlights comment.

After a further 20 minutes of watching the trio try and solve the ball; Tony knows he’s close to solving it, he was just struggling to work out the last bit to finally free Bucky from the wretched thing! Shuri finally takes pity and gives them a hint, a gentle nudge in the right direction. “You idiots” Shuri laughs as she walks over to them, “try turning that part the other way and press that symbol…there see! Not that hard!”

Grinning down at the three grown men with wicked delight, Shuri carefully picks up the ball and way from Bucky’s poor legs.

“That is some genius engineering there kiddo,” Pulling himself to his feet, Tony smiles at the teen, he genuinely means what he say and he cannot wait to see what this kid will bring into the future. Dusting off his clothes while M’Baku helps Bucky to his feet behind him, Tony spots T’Challa nearby finally.

“Tony, I would like to speak with you if you are well enough to?”

Nodding in acknowledgement, Tony makes his way over. Unaware of twin looks of concern that follow him out of the room.

Leading Tony to another, more private room, T’Challa gestures for Tony to take a seat at a sleek glass table. Taking a seat next to Tony T’Challa offers the omega some water and food that he had sent to this room before hand for them.

“How are you feeling Stark?”

Puffing out his cheeks as he leans back into the stupidly comfortable chair, Tony takes some sort of sweet bread and takes a nibble. Humming his approval as he swallows.

“These are great! What is it called? Pep would love these,” Taking another bite Tony turns his attention fully onto T’Challa. “I’m not to bad actually, which is nothing short of a miracle if I recall I was in a hell of a lot of pain earlier. When you found me that is. While I’m impressed by the medical care, I really wish I hadn’t been on the receiving end of it”

Chuckling a bit in agreement, T’Challa nods at that, “agreed, we had planned on showing you that stuff but well, I do often hear you like to try things yourself”

Snorting, Tony stuffs another bite down his throat, he likes T’Challa. The guy is down to earth and relatable, not at all stuck up like you would expect from someone from a high standing in life. Like how Tony was in his youth.

Pulling on a more serious face now, T’Challa leans forwards a bit. “Stark-“ “Tony”

“Tony” T’Challa smiles briefly at the correction but continues, “we found something on your plane that we believe shouldn’t have been onboard. I would like to confirm it with you.”

Pausing in his eating, Tony gestures for T’Challa to carry on as he drinks some water. T’Challa fortunately, waits till Tony has put his drink down before explaining what he found. Describing the charred object as best as he can and even brings up a picture that Okoye sent him. Humming contemplatively, Tony regards the object with interest.

“We found something else on this object, a lead.” T’Challa switches the picture to show the logo that they had found.

Hands closing into tight fists on the table where his arms were resting, Tony glares at the image, the all to familiar logo making his jaw clench in anger.

“Hammer…how the fuck did Justin get that on bored?” seething internally, Tony practically spits out Justin’s name as if it was bile in his mouth. “I’m going to need a phone to contact Jarvis or a computer, need to get Jarvis to retrieve some footage so I can find out how exactly that weasel pulled this off,”

“of course,” T’Challa soothes as he gets rids of the images, his voice soft and comforting as he speaks to the upset omega. “Shuri should be able to help you in the lab, if you would like I can have my people review the footages for you? You still need rest Tony, despite how well you may feel. It took a lot of energy to heal you”

Rubbing a hand over his face, its true that despite the amazing healing he had received, Tony was still very tired and starting to get a bit shaky on his feet. His stomach rumbling loudly for food even though food was the last thing on his mind right then.

While Tony so wanted to go through it all himself, he knew that what T’Challa was offering made more sense. Tony needs to rest and heal properly.

Damn, it seems that Tony was finally growing up and accepting help.

Huffing in tired amusement at his thoughts, Pepper would probably have a heart attack if she was here. Tony nods at T’Challa.

“I’ll tell Jarvis to send them to Shuri then, thankyou T’Challa,”

Inclining his head at Tony, T’Challa stands and helps Tony stand, leading him back to the lab where M’Baku and Bucky were still hanging around near Shuri. Both quickly standing to attention when Tony came back and both taking note of how tired Tony suddenly seemed again.

“I shell ask for more food to be sent,” M’Baku murmurs quietly before walking quickly away to the door. Shuri shouting after him to send it to the guest room that has been prepared for Tony.

“You ok Doll?”

Tony peeks up at Bucky, his face drawn up in concern as he takes a few hesitant steps towards Tony. Flashing Bucky a tired grin, Tony nods at him.

“Just need some food and rest Buckaroo, saving your ass from the Vibranium ball was hard work,”

Relaxing a bit at that, a shy grin on his own face, Bucky chuckles at that. “I make a good Damsel though, you gotta admit”

“Eh 6/10”

“As amusing as this is, Tony should rest,” Shuri grins at them, a mischievous glint flashing in her eyes. “Tony, your room is right next to Bucky’s. I hope that’s ok? It’s in a private wing of the palace”

Hesitantly Tony seems to mull over something in his mind before quietly speaking, “Are the others in that wing as well?”

The others he’s referring to of course being the rouge Avengers. Steve, Natasha, Sam and Clint and Wanda. The fights of what was dubbed the ‘Civil War’ were still to fresh for Tony, His anger at Steve still to raw.

Tony’s come to understand their view, in fact he pretty much always did, but he could also understand the public’s view. Tony had also had enough time since the fights, to calm down and think more rationally about the Winter Soldier being the one to kill his parents. Not an accident like he had thought.

The anger that was once the forefront emotion whenever he thought about it, had turned to pity and sadness for Bucky. Tony was not proud of how he reacted, being usually so clear headed in battles and able to keep a distance from the situation to not allow his emotions to rule him.

Tony was hoping to bend that bridge with Bucky, if the poor guy was willing to of course.

Understanding Tony’s fears T’Challa shook his head, “The former Avengers have rooms elsewhere. We gave Bucky the area your rooms are in because he asked for a room away from everyone while he still had active triggers. They are, thankfully, gone now. It will just be you two”

Shoulders relaxing minutely, Tony nods at that.

“Care to show me the way Metallica?”

Confused at that reference but deciding not to ask for now, Bucky agrees to show Tony the way. Keeping his strides short and slow for Tony so that the omega isn’t rushing after the Bucky, they leave the room. Leaving the Wakandan siblings and a few working lab techies behind.

#Sharing is Caring #omega tony stark #tony stark #alpha bucky #alpha bucky barnes #alpha M'baku #m'baku #m'buckony #james bucky barnes #T'Challa #Shuri

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meshugana1 · 7 years

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Wonder women and bat girl receive a distress signal to investigate an ancient temple that contains magical mind altering items, causing those who uncovered the treasure to become obsessed with their contents. one contains pink frilly dresses, another contains pacifiers, but both contain super thick adult diapers :P.

The invisible plane cut through the clouds without leaving any trace, not even most meta-humans could detect the craft of the amazing amazon. The pilot of the jet was a calm and collected crusader of peace clad in a red and gold bustier complimented by star-spangled bottoms. She wore a golden tiara adorned with a red star that displayed her status as princess and she wore always the silver bracelets of submission. She was Diana of Themyscira, the world knew her as Wonder Woman.

She was not alone in the cockpit of her craft today, she was accompanied by a brilliant young detective named Barbara Gordon, the world knew her as Batgirl. She was a formidable fighter in her own right, being trained by the Batman will do that for you, but her greatest strength was in her intellect. Thankfully she was able to come and help Diana on this assignment. Aside from facing threats to the world with the Justice League Diana also assisted governments with ancient magical problems such as the one that brought them to Germany this afternoon.

The plane touched down with no noise at all and the pair stepped out and met with the A.R.G.U.S. agent in charge of quarantine. He was a familiar face for Diana and she met him with a smile and a warm embrace. “Hello Steve, what’s the situation?”“Hey D, good to see you. It’s the standard spooky cave full of traps and magic looking junk. The people upstairs just feel better when you guys check these places out.” Steve Trevor said. He smiled as he saw her, somehow Diana’s presence only brought to mind the best memories of her.“Awesome, It’ll be just like Indiana Jones. Well, what are we waiting for?” Barbara said diving into the cavern from its opening in the field.“Well, she’s enthusiastic at least.” Steve said.“We’ll be back with a report soon Steve, I’ll let you know if we find any monsters down there.” Diana said floating over the opening and descending quickly into the cavern.“Just like mom used to say.”

The shaft of light went deep into the earth and illuminated the base of the structure. It looked like a temple but was built much sturdier than most she had seen. She must have descended at least three hundred before she spotted Batgirl examining the architecture of the statues in what looked like a courtyard. “What do you see Barbara?”“It’s certainly different looking, the main building was built directly into the natural rock face of this cave. Its design definitely looks pre-roman, I’d say somewhere around 500 B.C.E., and its got a helluva big door. Looks more like a vault than a temple, or even a prison.” Barbara said. Diana was genuinely impressed with the young crimefighters abilities, she could hardly believe she could’ve done better.

“That sounds about right to me. Do you think we should open it?” Diana said.“Why not? I tend to like solving problems before they start, the longer we sit on this the more likely the usual suspects will catch wind and make a move. Besides I always peak at my Christmas presents, why should this be any different?” Barbara said with a sly smile.“All very good points. I agree we don’t want leave problems for others.” Diana said as she flew up to the gigantic sealed door. She moved to what appeared to be a crease in the door but before she could the doors came alive and opened on their own. The pulled horizontally into groves that held them so flush you could hardly tell there was ever a seal to the building.

“Doors opening by themselves? Not always a great sign.” Barbara said.“No need for nerves Barbara, let's see what was so worth protecting.” Diana said. Barbara followed closely behind brandishing a flashlight. Barbara was right the architecture was definitely from the greek dark ages but that was all it was telling the pair as they walked the large structure. The inside looked far more intact than Diana had anticipated like it hadn’t been opened since its construction, the paint on the walls still held its pigment and its foundations still held firm.

The corridor continued for fifty feet until Diana found another door blocking their path. This one refused to open however without a little assistance from Diana’s super-strength. The room they were in was far more spartan than what must’ve been the entry hall they came through. There were no pillars, no markings on the walls, only a single small chest on a pedestal in the center of the room.

“That’s it? Was one chest worth this whole vault? Something important must be inside.” Barbara said.“That or something dangerous, this may be more of a prison or a containment facility than a vault.” Diana said. Even as Diana said this something about the chest just seemed to beckon her forward. Barbara felt the same compulsion as they moved towards it almost hypnotically.“We should still open it…to make sure it’s safe for anyone else.” Barbara said.“Yeah…Stand behind me in case something comes out or attacks.” Diana said though Barbara didn’t move from her side as she slowly opened t the entrancing container.

When she did a dust cloud and a musky odor was released that assaulted the pairs eyes and nostrils. After coughing and rubbing the irritation away they looked into the box but saw only blackness, even Barbaras flashlight couldn’t pierce it. Diana thought that she saw something in the chest and reached in to grab it, she was confused as it felt like hard plastic. She pulled it out and saw that it was a pink pacifier, but larger than one meant for a child. Barbara was confused and just slightly fascinated by the object but before the pair could examine it further it changed from pink to a grey, then to black and it just seemed to crumble and fade away.

This was confusing, why would a modern invention be in an ancient chest in an underground vault? Barbara thought. She looked into the chest herself and thought she saw a flash of color, she reached in and pulled out a pink party dress with puffy sleeves and ruffles everywhere. Barbara had tons of dresses like this when she was little and she forgot just how cute they were. Diana looked at the dress with silent fascination, she has never seen a dress like it. They didn’t have clothing like this on Themyscira, but it was so very pretty. Diana reached for it but like the pacifier, it turned black and crumbled into dust. Neither one would admit it but they were sad to see the beautiful dress go.

“What is this box?” Diana said.“Yeah, and where’s this stuff coming from?” It couldn’t have been here before.” Barbara said.“Wait, I think there’s something else in here.” Diana said reaching inside one more time. Her fingers brushed across something soft but made of plastic, she grabbed the object and pulled it out to find herself holding a large diaper. There was nothing in particular strange about it but Diana still felt something deep within herself when she held it, Barbara felt similar pangs herself when she saw it but the feelings were foreign to her. Like the other objects from the chest, the diaper too faded and disintegrated in the princesses hands.

“Why in the world was there a diaper in an ancient buried structure in Germany?” Barbara said to no one in particular.“I have no idea but—” Diana started but they were interrupted when a tremor shook the earth. Diana looked and saw cracks forming on the walls and pillars starting to give way. “We have to get out of here!” Barbara said. She waited for no confirmation and dashed through the door into the entry hall. Diana followed but cast a last glance toward the mysterious chest. She looked just in time to see a piece of the ceiling fall and crush the chest along with Diana’s hopes of finding out what was going on with this temple. She flew out of the treasure room and grabbed Barbara, ascending to the opening while the temple collapsed on itself.

Two weeks had passed since Barbara had gone to Germany with Wonder Woman and explored the ruin, excavation efforts were underway but they were most likely not going to find anything of much value. Barbara, however, couldn’t get the chest, and especially its contents, out of her mind. In quiet moments she found herself imagining that party dress and how pretty it was, how soft it felt in her hands and if she was being honest how much she’d like to wear a dress like that again. A few days passed and the feeling didn’t go away, it was a constant companion while she was out with the Batman on patrols and even in her home life. She actually looked in her parent's attic for her old dresses in hopes that one may actually still fit, but it was nothing more than wishful thinking as they had all been given away years ago.

Diana was pacing in her apartment as she waited and debated her choice. Ever since the temple, Diana couldn’t get those things out of her mind. Just then she heard the doorbell ring. There was no turning back now, she thought as she opened the door and saw the tattoo-clad delivery girl with her packages.“Hello Ms., I’m here to deliver your order from Playdate. I just need a signature here.” The young girl said. She normally didn’t pry but something was so familiar about this woman.“Thank you, I’ll just take those—”“Oh my god, I have seen you before! You’re Wonder Woman!” The girl said in a restrained voice. Diana blushed profusely at having been found out while purchasing these things.“Yes I am Wonder Woman, I really hope I can count on your discretion here.”“Oh yeah, we’ve got tons of clients and we are totally discrete, I can’t believe Wonder Woman is into this.” She said.“Well, I’m not absolutely certain that I am. You could say I’m just…testing the water so to speak.”“Sure, most people buy a years supply of diapers and a dozen dresses with matching pacifiers because they’re ‘testing the water’, happens all the time. I best be off, call me if you ever need a babysitter.”

Barbara found herself wandering into a store that had opened up a few years ago and never saw much walk-in business. It was called Playdate and it catered exclusively to the fetish community. And as much as she didn’t like it, Barbara was now a part of that community. She tried to fight her feelings as best she could but they just wouldn’t go away and now she found herself here. Barbara walked in wearing a nondescript sweater and blue jeans, she had almost amassed enough will to leave but then she came across the section she was looking for. The party dress section was small but it had everything Barbara wanted, her eyes fell on one dress which was pink and covered in ruffles and it struck a chord within her and she knew she had to have it.

She felt the gentle fabric and it reminded her of so many fond memories of childhood that her eyes watered just slightly. She removed it from the rack and held it against her body, it fit her perfectly but it was fetish wear so it stopped very high and would easily show off the training diaper she was wearing. That she couldn’t do in person, she was extremely nervous about purchasing them and wearing them the first time was a frightening experience but it was so worth it to feel the trainers being pulled up her thighs and the padding made her feel more cared for and protected than her kevlar bat suit that Bruce had made her. She also giggled every time she thought of the design she found, she wondered what Bruce would think if he knew she was wearing training diapers with Batman on them.

Barbara was still admiring the dress when she felt the familiar pangs of her bladder. She moved to set the dress down and ask for a restroom key but then stopped, an idea crept into her mind that she couldn't believe she was thinking. Her heartbeat quickened and her face felt flushed, was she really considering doing this? She was wearing trainers, it was what they were for. The pressure continued to mount in her bladder and she was sweating bullets with indecision. She cautiously looked around her, no one was in the aisle with her and the only other person in the store was the clerk and she was three aisles away. She parted her feet just a bit and did her best to relax but she was far too nervous, she tried bending her knees and squatting but her toilet training was too well ingrained. Finally, she stood up straight and did her best to meditate into a state of relaxation, like Bruce had shown her.

She was very relaxed and the pangs of her bladder went away and a moment later she felt the pleasant release of urine and a tremendous warmth from her diaper. The feeling was in no way sexual for Barbara, but it was so comfortable and the warmth that entered her trainers and stayed with her made her feel so…taken care of. She just reveled in the feelings for nearly five minutes until her trainers were pushing their limit and had begun to cool. Still red in the face she grabbed her dress and headed to the counter, feeling the squelch of her trainers between her thighs as she walked.

The girl at the counter was young, covered in tattoos and busied herself reading a magazine. She was almost surprised when she saw a live person in her store, almost a hundred percent of her sales were from the internet. “Hi, are you ready to check out?” She asked.“Yeah.” Barbara said avoiding eye contact with the girl. She released another stream of urine into her trainers and blushed more. The young sales girl dutifully rang the girl up but stopped when she handed over the receipt. “Um…Miss, I think you’re leaking.” She said. Barbara turned white and looked down to see a small wet patch on the front of her jeans. She turned and was about to run out of the store crying when the clerk grabbed her arm and said, “Wait, let me help you with that.”

Diana stood naked before a mirror in her apartment holding a white diaper decorated with pink ballerinas and kittens. She was paralyzed by fear as she stood there, her mind telling her this was sick and wrong but her heart begging her to try. Looking down at the garment Diana couldn’t help but wonder where this obsession had come from, the past few days she could think of little more than the trove she purchased for herself a few days ago. She hadn’t touched it since that girl had recognized her, too ashamed that someone knew of her new predilection. But it still wouldn’t go away and curiosity eventually won out. She felt the soft plastic of the thick diaper in her hand and wondered what it was going to feel like around her bottom.

She laid the diaper out on the floor and double checked that her blinds were draws and her door locked. She walked over and took one last deep breath, then laid her bottom down on the padding. Her floor was cold hardwood but the diapers padding was soft and had a slight warmth to it, she remained there for a time just enjoying the contrasting feelings on her thighs. It was a little awkward at first, she had never applied a diaper to anyone before especially not herself. She managed to attach the garment correctly after a few minutes, and at last she was diapered. She felt nothing she would call magical but she felt…contentment and relief, like a drink of water after crossing a desert.

She wriggled her padded rear into the floor and she giggled at the crinkling sound she made and experimented with crawling around on all fours. She crawled over to her other boxes and pulled out one of her pacifiers and placed it into her mouth, gave a few experimental sucks and found that she loved having the object in her mouth, it seemed to actually have the effect of calming some of her nerves. She crawled over toward her pile of clothes and selected the dress she had been dying to wear since she saw it online. It was a pink ruffled party dress that had the most adorable puffed sleeves and petticoats that would show off her diaper in its new ruffled diaper cover. She also bought herself a pair of Mary Jane shoes that other customers seemed to purchase along with the dress.

Once she was dressed she closed her eyes and walked to the mirror, wanting the finished product to be a surprise. After a few sucks of her paci to calm her nerves she opened her eyes and squealed with glee at her visage. Her dress fit her perfectly and the petticoats hung in such a way that you could just see her diaper poking out from the bottom. Her legs were clad in white stockings and her feet fit well in her black leather Mary Jane’s and gave her a satisfying click-clack as she walked. Diana felt something was still missing, She walked over to her dresser or rather waddled due to the thickness of her diaper, and pulled out two hair ties and tied her hair into pigtails.

When she returned to the mirror the picture was complete. She turned around, bent over and displayed her diapered bottom to the mirror and fell in love with her ruffled panties. She spent her entire day like that, doing her paperwork for the justice league and just enjoying her day off. She even tuned in her television to shows for toddlers and found them to be quite enjoyable if not overly engaging. A few hours in however a not unforeseen problem occurred and Diana needed the restroom. She had prepared for this possibility but being prepared to do something and doing it are never equal tasks.

It was unusual for Diana’s courage to waver but she recomposed herself and braced for this new experience. It was funny a bit to the diapered amazon warrior that as she stood she wasn’t quite certain how to urinate without a toilet, no not toilet. Potty, Diana needed to potty. She tried squatting and pushing as hard as she could but her efforts only produced a load braping fart. Diana blushed and tried to bend slightly over and relax, she thought that had worked but it was all in her mind. After thirty minutes of trying she sighed and waddled over to the potty and sat down. This proved all too easy and as soon as her diapered bottom hit the rim she felt release and warmth flow from her. It was exhilarating and alien to feel her urine remain pressed against her sex and collect around her bottom. She stood and the warmth remained close to her and it gave her such a feeling that she didn’t have words for it, it was as though she was being naughty, cared for, erotic, content and relieved all at once. Her cheeks were rosy as she returned to her living room and plopped down on her wet bottom, the warmth pressing into her sex and making her feel so naughty as she lightly bounced up and down.

She then hit upon another idea and waddled over to her closet. She never thought about these as manufacturers always sent over prototypes and first editions but now she was excited as she pulled out her chest and opened it, revealing dozens of dolls. There were dolls of her and her justice league allies and even a few of her enemies like Circe and Cheetah, she grabbed the whole thing and brought it out to the living room and played with them all. She held tea parties and recreated battles and had a fake wedding with her and cheetah, Circe was her maid of honor and she had the most fun she’s had in decades. She was like this for hours and before she knew it another need had reared its head as she felt a burbling in her tummy.

She knew what it was immediately and as she sucked away on her pacifier she debated whether or not to go through with it. She was already diapered and wet, it was only now that she noticed just how cold and uncomfortable her diaper had become. It was a short debate but talking to her dollies helped her through it and she sat on her calfs and tried to relax as best she could. Somehow this was far and away easier than going pee pee and her mess released into her waiting diaper with little effort, it was still warm but the sensation was so different as Diana could feel both her mess leaving her and it collecting on her bottom. After half a minute it was over and Diana had officially become a stinky pants. The diaper was thick enough that she wasn’t assaulted by the odor but she could fell the entire mass of the mess press against her pristine bottom. It was warm and redoubled the feelings wetting had given her and she was once again staging a party with her dolly friends and bouncing excitedly on her stinky butt.

Barbara had no clue what she was doing. It was one thing to indulge her little kink but now she was sitting on a changing mat in the backroom of a fetish shop waiting for a girl to come back with supplies to change her, this was going too far yet Barbara made no move to leave or even to object. It might’ve been that she was extremely wet and really needed a change and the young girl seemed eager, and this might be her only chance to receive a diaper change from someone else. Her time to ponder this was cut short as the girl returned and the butterflies in her tummy intensified.

“Okay, are you ready for your diaper change?”“…um…I…yes.”“What? I didn’t hear you.”“…yes…”“I’m sorry honey, one more time?”“Yes…I’m ready for a change.”“Ok, let's get started then.” The young girl said as she pulled the red-headed crimefighters wet pants down her ankles, revealing her batman trainers totally soaked. “Oh wow, you really did a number on batman there. Is he your favorite superhero?”“Um…yeah. He’s pretty cool…”“Well, I won’t tell him that you had an accident ok?” The young girl said with a smile and a wink.“Yeah…thanks.” Barbara said with a smile in reply.“All right, before I un-tape you are you sure you’re all done?”“Um, well now that you mention it…”“It’s ok sweetie, just go ahead and let it all out. It wouldn’t do to have two changes one after the other.”“I…I have to go number two?”“That’s fine, just let it all out, sweetie.” Barbara was conflicted on the one hand she needed to go and wanted to get out of this training diaper, on the other messing herself just seemed like a big step. But Barbara wanted this right now so he tried grunting and pushing but it wasn’t easy overcoming years of perfect toilet training. The young girl grabbed Barbara's ankles and pushed her legs over her head. “Here, this will help. Now just relax and push.”

Barbara did just that and after a minute she felt the seat of her diaper expand as the mess left her. The young girl watched as the seat of the redheads' trainers ballooned outwards with quite an impressive mess, she didn’t normally do this but maybe this girl would spread the word and she might get some more walk-in traffic. Barbara felt the warmth spread all over her bottom as a few days worth of mess evacuated her, the feeling was very unlike it normally was when she went to the toilet and she felt so content and relieved that someone was there to help and take care of her. She felt some embarrassment when the girl undid the tapes of her overloaded trainers and exposed her shaven pussy but Barbara reminded herself that it was just a change, as though it were a routine occurrence. The girl noticed Barbara’s discomfort though and reached behind her, the next moment Barbara was sucking contentedly on a pacifier that she had intended to buy. She was surprised by how much the simple act calmed her down as the girl used the trainer to scoop up the majority of the mess and dispose of it.

Barbara even allowed herself to enjoy the motions of the damp wipe the girl trailed all over her bottom and on her pussy. But another moment of hesitation arose and Barbara quickened her soothing as she saw not a trainer the girl held but a full thick diaper. “I know it's a little bit different than what you wore in but we don’t stock trainers in the store, and honestly you seem like a pretty heavy wetter.” Barbara blushed but couldn’t deny the girls logic, she said nothing and continued to soothe herself as the girl unfolded the diaper and lifted Barbara’s legs as she slid it under her. The then felt a sharp cold feeling as the girl applied baby lotion to her bottom and stifled a moan as she applied it to her pussy. Then she smelled the sweet scent of baby powder being sprinkled over her crotch and felt the warm, secure feelings return as the diaper was tightly taped to her body. She sat up and giggled when she saw the image of her crimefighting mentor on the front of her diaper.

“I thought you might like that, we’ve got tons of printed diapers for sale.”“Thank you for this.” Barbara said still blushing profusely.“It’s no problem at all. In fact, take my card. A cutie like you should always have a babysitter on call.” The girl said with a wink. Barbara looked at her and knew that she would probably take the girl up on her offer from time to time. Barbara had no choice but to put her wet pants back on, luckily they fit over her thick diaper and she waddled back to the counter and paid for two packages of her new diapers and two dresses. She wanted to buy the pacifier she was still sucking on but the girl said it was a present. The items were rather expensive but this was well worth it to Barbara and she left the store with a new confidence in herself and her new hobby. She couldn't wait to get home and try on her dresses. She was so excited that she could feel a small spurt of pee enter her thirsty diaper.

This was going to be the most difficult thing Diana had ever done. She was filled with nerves and was so tense that she couldn’t stop sucking her paci even if she wanted to. It had comforted her to wear her pretty pink dress, white stockings, her Mary Jane’s and of course her ballerina diaper with her ruffly diaper cover. She sat in the cockpit of the invisible jet on a landing in her mothers' place on Themyscria. There was a company of guards waiting to escort her to the Queen but Diana was having second, third, and fourth thoughts about doing this. She had come to learn new things about herself recently and she held no secrets with her mother, but preparing to do something and doing it require vastly different amounts of courage. It had been long enough since her first session in a diaper that using one had become much simpler and as she sat in the cockpit the urge to go potty came and went as she wet her diaper, the warm feelings helped to calm her and she thought of the unconditional love that her mother had given her over the years and steeled herself with a warriors breathing and exited the jet to confront her mother with her new truth.

The End. I hope y’all like it.

#infantalism #diaper wetting #diaper messing #request #Wonder Woman #batgirl

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