#getting home was not so fun bc the last train was delayed and there were a billion football fans on it (they were mostly students tho)

[izpira-se-zlato]

JO Paris, 22.03.24

Gig report! Compiled this morning in the car to Antwerp with help form @zadig-fate and @yoda-bor 💛 I recorded everything except Katrina (bc my camera app crashed in the middle), so I'll upload this once I'm at a place with stable wifi again :D

all my buses were delayed so I power walked to the train station. Then that train was delayed so I almost missed my Eurostar. Then my Eurostar was also delayed. "That's what I call a Deutsche Bahn special, actually." – Kris ("when your first train is late but then it's okay because the second train is also delayed")

so many people I knew in the queue. From Helsinki. From London last year. From Utrecht. 😊💛

when I grabbed my number, Jan and Nace returned to the venue (and they were so pretty in daylight and in person)

Nace said hi as they walked past 😊

their postures??? Nace has definitely worked on his posture, meanwhile Jan appears so slim and small. It's wild.

Jan and Jure returned to the venue together, looking… Pissed is too harsh a word, but frowning? So we first kinda thought they were actually pissed off. But then Nace showed up a minute later, his usual sunny self, and was immediately accosted by fans. So. I assume it was less "pissed off" and more "do not approach" (and it worked)

soundcheck was Gola and Vem da greš, which we could hear every time they opened the doors (this was my last general access gig. It's EA from here on out, baby!)

Kris and I had decided to go on the balcony and got spots right next to the sound booth, where we were joined by @thisismyobsessionnow 🫶

it was warm but the sound was really good (duh)

also we had nice cushy seats like the old people we are 😂

first opener was a duo of brothers made up of discount Jure and Käärijä if he was French. Discount!Jure had a nice chest (Jure at home)

their music was eh, the lyrics cringe

Kris says they spoke french but I spent most of their set on tumblr/discord so I wasn't listening, but it was a Choice since pretty much none from the EA crowd spoke French

speaking of EA, there were allegedly 60 EA tickets though I saw numbers up to 62 (500 people venue)

JC Stewart was fun

he was told he looked French prime minister. He got confused by president vs prime minister but he also got kinda flustered. He was shown a pic and was "oh yeah, I see it"

we got Katrina opener

Nace. Jfc.

the venue was super hot so I tried to appreciate the fit while he had it on in full – white buttoned shirt with a sweater vest over it and a proper tie and glasses, going for the full teacher look except hot???

I still spent a good chunk of the gig looking at Jure though. The elevated balcony spot gave ussuch a nice view of him

Bojan was smiley and sounded way less congested than in Utrecht (maybe he's on the mend?)

Kris on the other hand was sipping tea on stage. In particular very sassily during Demoni

Kris had guitar problems at the beginning of Šta bih ja and went to Kiki to get it fixed but Bojan didn't see and so was actually worried for a moment that Kris had gotten sick off-stage. Kris was adorable in reassuring him that he was fine

they were all so mobile again

og demoni scream. In the middle. Might have been Bojan letting out his anxiety over Kris having disappeared from stage

"Kris, honey" and then that moment. What in the BoKris was that. I just turned to Kris and said that out loud bc what the fuck

There was a sizeable crowd of Slovenians in the audience and Bojan was delighted

fairly even split in the crowd for French vs foreigners, though the French were louder in yelling

the most hilarious to me moment: Bojan did his spiel about "who here experiences panic attacks?" And the crowd cheered, and he was like "yay! Panic attacks! It's me!" And Kris next to me went "I'm the problem, it's me," and literally on the last syllable, Bojan started saying the exact same thing. One brain cell. Or maybe he has the stream on his in-ears

Barve oceana 🫶🫶💛💛

according to Astrid, I looked ridiculously happy (I was ridiculously happy)

best galaxy of me version tonight. I still don't like it though 😂 it's gonna be my metulji 😂

Bojan went into the crowd for Umazane misli

it's so fun to watch from above

Vita was his trusty shadow and also a beacon of light to spot Bojan with

this time I don't think they forgot her in the crowd

Bojan made the balcony sing while he was still in the crowd. But it was mostly just Kris, Madeleine, and me, at least on the bleachers/seated part. We still gave our best 😂

Carpe Diem was not part of their "encore" but came before

no Tokio :( might be the first show without it?

fucking Novi val

the way Jure jumped up and sprinted to trade a drumstick for a baguette, it was so hilarious

he was so happy, and he first made fun of Nace for being unable to eat it

he shared it with Jan

Jan got chocolate and they put it into the baguette and then shared it.

Jure let everyone else also take a bite, including Bojan who was ostensibly singing

Nace bottle feeding Kris. What the fuck. Can someone make sure they still don't know about AO3?

no Umazane shenanigans even though Jan and Nace had talked right before it so I'd been hopeful

so many um versions in other langauges. It wasn't the longest rendition, but we also

when Bojan said we'd get the original Slovene version, I thought it would be the one he made up on the spot when they went on stage to play it all the way back? When they were babies. So it was a small disappointment when it was just the regular Slovene version 😂

Bojan asked the Slovenians if they were able to tell that they weren't playing at home and they said no and Bojan was so so delighted

he's also given the mic to people in the audience outside of Umazane misli (ne bi smel and plastika, I want to say)

he sang galaxy of me with a guy from the front row (Josh?)

not a lot of Jance, possibly because they were looking after Kris?

still a lot of eye contact

or maybe it was the fact that they apparently were out in Paris together in the afternoon 😏

my phone was so hot by the end (and I have 4gb left of memory)

after the gig I couldn't find my hat so I was worried I'd left it, so I went back in. Which was how I got JC and Vita to sign my gig memory book

I had forgotten about wanting to grab Vita's signature so if Astrid hadn't reminded me, I would have missed out

the boys got JC Stewart sick, he said his voice was going

It was raining so the boys ran out of the venue towards a van while we cheered. Bojan took a group selfie

Jan and Jure left first with the crew in that van so we assume that the others took a second car

[enchxntingneo]

no like i can't let it go, i'm still so upset :( long rant about sungtaro/nct/sm ahead

i mean we always knew that sm is terrible at managing their groups but experiencing it in real time as a (relatively) new kpop fan is infuriating... i only got into kpop/nct in mid 2021 so i didn't experience the peak of 3rd gen but from what i hear exo was dominating back then, like especially watching the pre-covid mama clips it's kinda crazy! obviously they're still crazy popular now but if you look at the impact on the current kpop scene they're not really there anymore and i get that has to do with the members enlisting too but i've seen plenty of exols (and fans of any other sm group) talk about how sm will abandon older groups in favour of the shiny new thing. for exo it was nct but now it seems they're doing it to nct in favour of the new non nct boy group that sungtaro + the rookies are supposed to be a part of. i get that they're trying to keep up with current kpop trends and probably want to compete with all the other new bgs but i really feel like they're cutting the nct concept short for no reason. if nct isn't as big as they had hoped it's bc they're mismanaging them!! if they spaced them out correctly i really feel like they could have easily debuted the japanese nct unit plus another korean nct unit, since that's what they seem to be going for with the new one, and i really think they could hold their own within the current 4th gen/upcoming 5th gen climate. obviously i'm gonna be biased as an nctzen but it really doesn't take much thinking to see they're underutilising the fuck out of the nct concept and now they're punishing the members and the fans as a result...

and ig they're hoping to have a good chunk of nctzens follow sungtaro to the new group but it's really not fair to us or them. if they're going out of their way to separate the new group from nct so much doesn't it defeat the purpose to drag nctzens with them into the new group?? like i'll definitely support them bc i've grown attached to them now but it feels like it's gonna be infintely harder now to establish them as their own separate group with their own disdinct voice as they will always have nct's shadow looming over them now, so i feel like a lot of us will just see them as an unofficial nct unit regardless...

this whole thing is fucked but i think what's especially cruel is shotaro got into sm FOR nct and they made his dream come true only to let him waste away for a few years and then rip it away from him again? like that's fucked... also sungchan gets on so well with all of them, i always look forward to him and jungwoo interacting!! like he trained with so many of them, the rookies too, it just feels so cruel for no reason. but ig now we can only hope for the yearly sm town interactions... :(

another thing i've noticed is the fandom's unanimous reaction to this news being very negative. i feel like with the lucas situation the fandom kind of split in half but it seems everyone is unhappy with this. the only remotely positive reaction i've seen is ppl saying they're happy sungtaro will actually finally have a fixed group and will actually get to be proper idols. i really wonder what k- and j-fans reaction to this is but i can't imagine they're very happy either

considering that sm was actively making merch with sungtaro's likness for nct home, ccomaz and the sanrio collab up until recently this definitely feels like a rushed decision. or maybe not rushed but this didn't seem to be a part of their long term plans until very recently, like welcome to nct universe just happened!! ig most likely shohei's injury unexpectedly set their plans back and i'm guessing sungtaro and the rookies were given the choice of delaying their debut within nct or this. and obviously we can't know but if that is what they chose i can't fault them for it. as much as we like to make the unemployment jokes, i'm sure it hasn't been fun for them, like universe was the last nct album and that was in 2021! and sungchan didn't even appear in a music video for it!! considering maw and 90s love are 2 of nct's best performing songs ever, it seems stupid even just on a purely monetary level to not do anything with them. so as much as this sucks i am really happy for them that they'll get to have a proper group now.

i really wonder about the rest of nct too, like seeing yuta's reaction today i can't imagine they got much of a heads up about this or that they wanted this either. first off, i want to sit down with yuta and shit talk sm so bad asdfshjfsdjds like you can tell that man is fed up! and rightfully so!!! considering we're coming up to contract renewal season it makes me wonder who in nct will leave... i feel like i can't see anyone in dream leaving (for now) but in 127 yuta and taeil have been pretty vocal about their discontent. taeil not getting a solo when he's now at risk of getting shipped off to the military at any point feels disrespectful, ik he's spoken about being unhappy about not having anything to do. i was also watching some of the 2 baddies promotional stuff back and you can definitely tell he was not having it back then. he seemed so unhappy and disinterested and who can blame him when he gets a miniscule amount of screentime? considering they gave him so much more screentime in ay-yo i feel like he must've had a big talk with someone behind the scenes and good for him!! i just hope that this continues and isn’t just a temporary change to appease him. and i rly feel like yuta could probably write a book on the ways sm constantly mistreats him, so it wouldn't shock me if either of them were to leave at some point. winwin is another candidate imo, he's so distant and elusive lol like he's building a pretty solid career for himself in china but he keeps making appearances with wayv every now and again so i really can't tell. nct def seems to be his sidegig tho and not the other way around, so i also wouldn't be shocked if he eventually dips. sm is rly fumbling the bag, like how is the supposedly limitless group losing members at such a high rate... sigh

ALSO apparently the new nct japan unit will be formed through a survival show... yuck 😬 sm has always historically stayed away from that, so i wonder if the new management changes and sm 3.0 have anything to do with that. regardless, i won't watch it ESPECIALLY if there are minors involved. i thought they learned their lesson after all the nct dream shit when aespa debuted with all of them being 18 and over and the rookies too. i'm really hoping they're not gonna regress into old habits... also from what i’ve seen from any other survival show, it never feels very fun or fair to the participating trainees, like i never watched stray kids’ survival show bc my heart hurt for them. i also really don't think that a survival show fits into nct's concept like AT ALL, especially at this stage of their career with 3 established units that all came together without a survival show. i feel like if they really wanted to go down that path they should've made that the concept for the non nct bg, that way they would also feel distinctly different from nct, but ig not 🙄

ofc i'll support sungtaro wherever they go but i wonder if we can bully sm into putting them back like dreamzens did for dream's graduation system, like just make the new bg be another nct unit and literally everyone will be happier for it!! ig it will probably have to come from k-czennies since they never care what us i-fans have to say lol but if there is a boycott i'll do it!!

[buildarocketboys]

Haven't made a post about seeing Frank Turner on Tuesday yet so here goes:

- Really interesting (and unusual, at least for FT) setup for a gig. All seated, and it was in two pretty distinct parts - the first was songs from his new album No Man's Land (which is about different women from history) interspersed with their stories, just Frank onstage with a guitar.

- Second part was him with his band the sleeping souls, unplugged, playing songs from his back catalogue, interspersed with stories about his life/what he's learned/what inspired them

- I really loved Graveyard of the Outcast Dead live, just really lovely

- He fucking nailed the guitar solo in The Death of Dora Hand (direct quote "that was one of the best times I've ever played that!")

- Weird slightly hilarious part spoken word version of The Ballad of Me and My Friends to start the second part of the gig

- Didn't expect to hear Journey of the Magi in 2 out of the 3 Frank gigs I've been to, but life throws you curve balls bro

- Frank talking about how awkward it is that he wrote a song about and named after his ex now he's married to someone else...then getting genuinely embarrassed when he introduced the title and of the song (Isabel). Bless. I felt that.

- He got me fucking crying with Reasons Not To Be An Idiot wtf Frank?! That's one of his most upbeat songs! But "why are you sat at home, you're not designed to be alone, you just got used to saying no" really got me along with his introduction to it.

- The whole Amy trilogy got me fucked up tbh. I mean, this time last week I was bawling my eyes out to Tell Tale Signs so it makes sense I guess (last week was Not Good mental health wise)

- Really appreciate Frank changing old lyrics to be less sexist/heteronormative. I've stanned the change in The Way I Tend To Be since I first heard it, but he also changed "his wife and his dog, his son and his god" to "his child and his dog, his wife and his god" in journey of the Magi and "just picture her after she's had kids" to "just picture her when she's whisky dick". We stan people realising and acknowledging not so great things from their past content and striving to make them better!

- God, I love The Way I Tend To Be so fucking much, and the slow acoustic version with everyone singing along to the chorus was just beautiful. Probably my favourite song at the moment.

- Frank's depiction of himself as a 19 year old "dressed in a trench coat, with an existentialist novel sticking out of the pocket, wandering round London's reservoirs, hoping to meet girls and thinking about death". Incredible.

- When he wrote There She Is (for his then-girlfriend, now wife) they were in Rome, he woke up before her and decided it would be romantic as shit if he could write a song for her before she woke up and then perform it for her. She obviously woke up halfway through. He told her to go back to sleep, she said no that's weird wtf, eventually went to get coffee, he finished the song. And apparently it was romantic as shit. But Frank, you absolute dork.

- Balthazar, Impresario is a really gorgeous song and I should listen to it more

- He finished the storytelling part then got us all on our feet for the last four bangers (Photosynthesis, Recovery, I Still Believe and Be More Kind) and it was grrrreat

- I wouldn't usually class Be More Kind as a banger but he went really hard on the last verse/chorus (the wind blew both of us to sand and sea etc) and it gave the song something I didn't realise it was missing

- Basically it was a+++, I laughed, I cried, I sung, I listened. My absolute favourite artist to see live at the moment. When can I see him again?

[twirlingflurry]

love your hcs!!!! do you think you write one about the legacy neil left at palmetto and with the foxes. like he goes back when wymack retires. and next to where he carved his and andrews initials into the bed post just before andrew left, there’s other foxes initials and he sort of unknowingly created a tradition. or like eventually he gets his old exy racquet back from the cops and it sits at the court and before a game he slapped it so so did the rest of the team and has become a team ritual

hi anon - thank you so much! sorry for the delay, this week has really been something skhdskgjhd but i hope you enjoy <3 i had lots of fun with this :) 

years down the line, wymack is retiring (dan will be taking over for him)

neil and andrew are still playing pro together, but there’s a lull in their training and it’s nearing the end of the collegiate exy season, so they drive to palmetto together

andrew says he’s only going because he doesn’t want to have to deal with the cats alone

“you were alone with them for two weeks last year”

andrew pretends he doesn’t hear him

and then neil and andrew are standing outside wymack’s apartment, unannounced, and he grumbles that “at least you didn’t break in this time” but there’s fondness in his tone and he ushers them in

they have a night of comfortable chatter and silences, and andrew grabs the alcohol from the same cabinet it’s always been in. it’s familiar, and neil falls asleep on wymack’s couch with a smile on his face and andrew curled up on top of next to him 

and the next day, neil and andrew go to fox tower, and they walk the stairs that they know as well as they know each other

they get to the third floor, and a small group of foxes is leaving their dorm room, the one that used to belong to neil and andrew, when they see the two and just. freeze. 

it’s nothing new to be recognized by fans, but it’s weird for it to happen somewhere that feels like home. they tolerate it and ask if they could go into their old dorm room

the young foxes scramble to let them in and frantically pick up clothes and throw away trash to give the room some semblance of tidiness. neil and andrew don’t care

the bean bag chairs are gone, but there are still faint ash stains on the windowsill, and the crystal-clear memories of long since faded moments wash over neil

they drift over to the bedroom, and the young foxes leave them be as they silently make their way to the bunk. neil gingerly sits down onto his old mattress, andrew right beside him

andrew catches neil’s attention by tracing the carvings of their initials on the bed post, then trailing his finger down an array of other scrawled letters below. other initials, carved by foxes who came after them, and a smile ghosts over neil’s face because,,, he stopped running and he left solid evidence behind and people actually continued it after he was gone ?? and it’s such a weird thought but he loves it 

he asks the young foxes if there’s anything else that continued after he left

they show him the roof, fitted with new locks that have also since been sabotaged. it looks like their secret spot was less secret than they thought, but at least someone’s still enjoying it

they proudly demonstrate how they’ve all memorized neil’s riko roast which baffles him because that was never even televised ?? where did they hear it ????

andrew ofc will never tell him that he transcribed it when nicky asked him to. he doesn’t even really know why he listened, so there’s no way he’s ever going to try to explain it to neil

all of them have orange bandanas, which is a tradition that started neil’s second year and has apparently continued ever since

they don’t know that that’s where it started so they don’t mention it, but neil noticed from games 

they take neil and andrew to the court and show them the two lucky racquets (the drake one they got back from evidence when the case was closed and the one andrew used to shatter riko’s arm) and they all absent-mindedly tap them on their way in

it used to be a thing the foxes would only do before games, but slowly spread to. every single time they go to the court

apparently it’s also become custom for them to link arms on to way back to the bus after games, after neil’s kidnapping from binghampton

it took a while for them to get the order of the line right bc if they’re not careful, their attempt at keeping each other safe becomes a fist fight

bonus (not one of neil’s legacies): dan’s photo wall continues! they don’t ever take down pictures of the older foxes, just keep squeezing more pictures in. it expands beyond only one wall to every wall of the foyer, and they’re still having trouble finding room. sometimes they have to pile photos on top of each other

they also mention that movie nights are still a thing! they’re bi-weekly, and they always try to find a classic movie that at least one of the foxes has never seen bc of a shitty childhood

night practices are also still happening. not everyone goes every night, but a couple of the keeners do

“junkies”

neil is,,, stunned, honestly. he didn’t ever imagine he could have this concrete of an impact, didn’t think he could keep existing in a place even after he left it

before, he’d never wanted to be remembered. the idea slowly became more bearable over the years, but this is,,, he never expected anything like this

it’s overwhelming and it’s wonderful and he loves it

and later that night, neil and andrew go up to their rooftop (there are two young foxes up there that scurry away as soon as they realize who stepped onto the roof) 

and as they look out over the city, hands linked, neil’s heart feels so light and he can’t get rid of - doesn’t want to get rid of - the smile that seems to be glued to his face, even through the pang of nostalgia - another new feeling

and neil and andrew sit under the comforting blanket of the night and talk into the darkness

just like old times

and it’s comfortable and familiar and once upon a time, neil wished that it would never end

but now? now, neil knows that while he may leave,,, this will never end. not really

as he sits under the stars next to the man with whom he will spend the rest of his life, neil knows the memories and whispers of the past live on through love and legacies

[sukiglycerin]

call it fate (or a christmas miracle) || katsuki bakugou.

* pairing: bodyguard!katsuki bakugou x earthbending quirk!reader (gender neutral!)

* genre: bodyguard!au, fluff, some angst, fake dating, aNd thEre wAs OnE bEd

* words: 10.3k (help)

* warnings: swearing bc bakugou, too much backstory, idk what bodyguards even do, there’s a fight scene (in a similar lieu to the sports festival arc), hunter x hunter? no this is tsundere x tsundere, i want to hug bakugou, yes i imagine mr. tanaka to be the tanaka from kuroshitsuji, christmas is a very minor aspect of the story (but the title was too good to resist)

* original request from @apexqueenie​: Hnnnnnnnnnnnngh can I get a Bodygaurd Bakuboi x bratty reader who don’t like to be watched like a hawk cuz she wants to do fun things pretty please? // and from anonymous:  if it's ok, can I request Bakugou with a reader who has a quirk like earth bending please? // and from @killkurzyackerman​: ÒWÓ UR REQS ARE OPEN can u do a bakubabe with like lil sassy bad bitch vibe reader bc ive seen a lot of fics that sorta like softie or angel type and no offense theyre great but ya know sumthn diff this time please

* a/n: this is a very long fic, to say the least. i combined these three requests! though reader’s quirk doesn’t appear often, it conveys my thoughts on how bakugou would go about with that quirk. moreover, i hope this reader is badass? i realize that that characterization is quite hard for me. so, i hope you don’t see reader as super soft! i made them fight back against bakugou (literally, too) and kinda bratty hehe. i got to explore a lot of new things with this fic, so i hope they reach you well. this is a repost because it originally did not show up in the tags!

* synopsis: things had gotten boring with bakugou as your bodyguard. it was only until an interesting proposal by the man that things would change. well, maybe a little too much would change...

you, to be quite simple and honest, were getting tired of katsuki bakugou. he'd been your bodyguard for years (years! much longer than any other you'd hired!) and he was getting boring. dull. plain. any synonymous word would fit. he was boring like a 24 hour session of watching paint dry, monotone like a professor’s droning that never failed to put you to sleep. (perhaps he was even more spiritless than professor sato at the academy. he caught you sleeping no less than thirteen times in his class. the number didn’t even account for the times he didn’t catch you.)

to the untrained eye, katsuki bakugou is vibrant. he's aggressive, unruly, and ruggedly charming (somehow). he's a wonder in a suit-and-tie and the epitome of an oxymoron with his harsh words, rough hands, and crisp suit. it was that very reason you’d hired him; his personality excited you. it seemed unpredictable and it was a challenge.

like all other challenges, bakugou was not impossible. once the challenge was overcome, time flow was stagnant; you watched the ticking of a clock as the day passed by you. you’d gotten used to him and he’d gotten used to you. these days, he watched you like a hawk. you could never slip past those sharp eyes anymore, no matter what you did. he was not fazed by any of your antics (ticked off mildly, sure, but he could live with it).

“leave me alooooone,” you whined for the fourth time in an hour as you exited a mall. bakugou's hands were full of shopping bags filled with everything from clothing to the latest technological invention. you weren’t sure how he was supposed to protect you in that condition. though, to be candid - in the first place, you didn’t need protection. you attended a private institution designed to maximize the use of your quirk as a child and graduated with absolutely flying colors. on top, you’d taken various martial arts outside of school. you didn’t know why your parents were still concerned about your wellbeing. you handled it fine. around 99.9% of the time, you could easily beat your bodyguard in a fair fight. it was a regular practice for you; so common that there was a reward if a bodyguard could last longer than six months working for you. not that any of them liked to be called bodyguards.

“sweetheart, i would if i could,” bakugou gritted through his teeth. “pay’s too good to- goddamn, what did you even buy?” he’d stopped behind you to adjust his grip on one of the bags.

you hummed pleasantly, continuing at your same, leisurely pace. his question was a rhetoric; he watched you buy everything with your black credit card. you watched as a car pulled up in front of you.

“there’s our ride,” you said, brushing bakugou’s shoulder as you stepped into the car. he grunted in response, loading the car with your purchases.

“fight me with your quirk when we get home,” you said during the ride. “you have, what, a boom boom quirk?”

he made a noise in his throat, voice hard. “my quirk’s explosions. nitroglycerin.”

“dangerous,” you said through a smile. he’d never used his quirk around you, but you were already starting to see possibilities of strategies you could use.

“so says the master earthbender,” he retorted sarcastically.

you clicked your tongue. “we’ll see who wins in the fight, explodo-boy.”

“finally brave enough to challenge me, eh?"

“i was always this brave.”

“oh, give it up already, bakugou!” you directed another wall of rocky terrain toward bakugou, who blew up the land and sent rocks flying. his stance was hunched slightly, forehead matted with sweat. the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows, coat long abandoned on the rugged terrain.

“tired already?” he snarled. he put his hands together, preparing for a bigger explosion. you didn’t let him have this opportunity, slinging a large rock to absorb the impact of the explosion. he dodged swiftly, to your disappointment, but his attack seemed to be subdued.

you used his delayed reaction time to try to trap him with terrain under his feet, but he was somehow a step ahead of you. you heard a popping noise; bakugou was propelled through the air, your rocks blasted already and a cloud of dust forming. you cussed under your breath, already moving yourself away from his estimated landing spot that was too close to you.

he sent crackling explosions to the bottoms of your feet, but you easily dodged them. you created a temporary platform of elevated ground to protect yourself from the small explosions, jumping off it and rolling away. he was already aiming a larger blast toward you, presumably expecting your escape route. you figured it’d be a directed blast to pierce through a wall. you knew that the explosion would be unavoidable. to counter, you created a line of walls resembling dominos. they acted as stairsteps; you quickly ran up to the highest you could conjure in the short time you had before bakugou hit them. you grabbed the closest piece of rock that you could and leapt as bakugou’s blast made contact with your steps, chucking the rock at him and aiming to kick him when you landed. you knew he had no power to counter, being unable to react quickly due to the powerful nature of the blast he’d conjured.

you were about to win when the door to the training facility opened. you froze, literally, in midair and frowned, turning to look at the intruder.

“fighting, young-?” one of the butlers, tanaka, said. he was an elderly man with a gentle voice, but his eyes always seemed to glint with a clandestine humour in it.

“you can call me by my first name. please put me down, tanaka,” you said, no malice in your voice. he nodded, and you softly landed on your feet next to bakugou. you’d known tanaka for far too long for him to use honorifics with you. he’d practically raised you as a child.

“you haven’t fought in a while,” tanaka commented. he conjured a water bottle (you never knew how he had the right things for the right occasions) and walked toward you.

you made a noise of acknowledgement. “and it seems i was just about to win.”

he smiled tenderly. “i’m sure.” he handed you the water bottle, which upon further inspection, you saw was ice cold.

“thank you,” you said, gingerly accepting the beverage. the water flowed soothingly down your throat, easing the aching that had formed due to all the dust you’d kicked up in the fight.

“mr. bakugou?” tanaka asked, offering another water bottle (seriously, where did he get that?).

“thanks,” bakugou took the bottle. he drank feverishly, quickly finishing the bottle in what must’ve been two seconds flat. so undignified.

“y/n, you have an appointment in 15 minutes with-” tanaka said as you capped your water bottle.

“oh, yeah,” you said, waving off the matter. “i got it.”

you brushed off the dust on your clothes and started toward the exit. bakugou was quick to follow you, nodding politely to tanaka.

bakugou stood outside the door during the meeting you had with your father. you were not a minute too late or too early when you stepped into your father’s office, freshened up and dressed in clean attire, the dusty clothing from your fight with bakugou long discarded. the smell of leather and mint enveloped you, reminding you of the days you’d play in your father’s office in your youth. the room was always dim, the light on your father’s desk being the brightest object in the vicinity when the curtains were pulled down. when you were younger, you liked to pretend the room was made of chocolate, as the color was so dominant on the interior. your father was not pleased to find five-year-old you trying to bite the corner of his desk, to say the least. 

the sight of his office was ever-so familiar to you, and once held a feeling of endearment in your heart. that was then; now, you only ever entered the room for a business-related matter. your face was blank, lips held in a thin line -  you anticipated the topic of the meeting since your father first scheduled it a week ago. it, quite frankly, was inevitable; you could be neither opposed nor favorably disposed to it.

“i’ve found a compatible match for you, y/n.” your father sat at his desk, eyes intensely trained on you. “they’re from a well-off family with a strong quirk.”

compatible. it didn’t mean they got along with you or would be a good partner; no, it meant that they matched the superficial criteria set by your family.

“yes, father,” you said indifferently. he nodded, as if already expecting the answer.

“you’ll meet them soon. we’re arranging the date,” he folded his hands on the desk. “tanaka will alert you of it when it’s finalized. that is all.”

you nodded, taking your cue to leave. giving the room one last glance, you started to push the door open, then paused. door halfway open, allowing outside light to stream into the dark room, you looked back at your father. it was now or never to ask, you guessed.

“father… we wouldn’t happen to be having a family gathering anytime soon, would we? for new years or anything...” you hadn’t had any in the recent years, but you’d figured you’d ask. the scent of homemade food and the comforting chatter of the gatherings always made your heart swell.

he grunted, not looking up from the papers he shuffled around in his hands. “no.”

“ah. okay,” you said, sighing quietly. you knew better than to get your hopes up for such things. you turned back to the light, where bakugou was awaiting you, and shut the door behind you with a thud.

you walked in silence.

“so, no plans for the holidays?” bakugou asked bluntly.

“eavesdropping, i see,” you deadpanned.

“shouldn’t’ve had the conversation in front of the whole damn world.”

you rolled your eyes. “what about it?” you asked. “my lack of plans, i mean.”

“well-” he coughed awkwardly into his sleeve, averting his eyes. “that old hag- my, uh, mom, somehow got under the impression that i’m no longer… single. probably because of my profession - she thinks it’s ridden with scandals like a damn drama - but, uh… she’s expecting me to bring… company home for our christmas dinner…. and i can’t ask any of my friends, ‘cause she knows them… i wouldn’t damn ask you if i had no other option…”

“thanks,” you interjected. you held your tongue from making a comment about how little friends he probably had. “anyway, why don’t you tell her no?”

he slouched. “have you met her?” he grumbled. “the hag won’t listen to me. trust me, i would’ve, but… you can’t refuse her, once her mind is set on something… she’s too stubborn for her damn good.”

“like you,” you remarked, earning a small shove from the man.

“pl-” he choked, “pl - ah, fuck - please can you go to the dinner with me? it’s just for a night and morning, i need you to fake being my date. i can tell her we broke up later or whatever, i just really need…”

your lip curled. a desperate bakugou was a rare sight, and you wanted to relish in it for as long as you could. you feigned further consideration.

“but there’s so much i would rather be doing…” you whined. it was a lie. all you wanted was some variation in your life; a dinner didn't sound too bad. perhaps there was a dark secret within the bakugou family you could exploit. 

“like what, wasting money?” bakugou muttered bitterly under his breath. you shot him a dirty look.

“fine, please?” he asked again. “there’ll be some damn good food… and, uh…” you tapped your foot with false impatience.

he cussed under his breath. “i’ll do whatever you want, damnit, just go with me! please!”

you cocked an eyebrow. “whatever i want?”

“yes, for a day,” he groused. “only a day.”

“alright!” you pumped your fist up. your father’s business training came in handy sometimes. “when’s the dinner?”

“this weekend,” bakugou said. “we also need to, uh, figure out how to act more… coupley.”

“...right,” you said. business class had not prepared you for that. “how the fuck do we do that?”

as it turned out, you two were not the best pair to fake a relationship. neither of you had actually been in a relationship prior to this. you didn’t really have time to date on top of your studies and such; you didn’t need to, anyway, because all of the people who were romantically interested in you bored you. their personality traits either consisted of rich or doormat. as for bakugou - well, he was bakugou. you couldn’t see anyone wanting to date that brute.

“i’ll pay,” you said upon entering a cafe. it was a big cafe, nestled in the midst of an even bigger mall. your tone was firm; there’d be no way bakugou would be paying. you looked up at the menu and said to him, “the usual?”

he was silent for a moment, and you almost thought he hadn’t heard you. he cleared his throat. “uh, yeah, sure. the usual.” weird.

you ordered yourself a drink and bakugou his usual order, a decaf iced caramel macchiato with light ice. he looked at you with a strange emotion on his face when you handed him his drink.you practically shoved it in his hands while he was too starstruck about god-knows-what.

the two of you settled at a booth (“table,” bakugou had argued. you eventually won the debate).

“so… trivia about each other, right?” you asked. “i guess we’ve got to get to know each other more.” he nodded. “well, first, you need to stop being so quiet. right now, you’re not my bodyguard or anything. we’re, uh…. dating. we’re partners. datemates. lovers.”

he choked on his drink at the word “lovers.” he sputtered, then gained composure. “yeah.”

“okay, i need to you to be more casual.”

“tch, who said i’m not casual right now?!” there it was; this was the bakugou you’d known when you first met him. he was awkward and amateur-ish, stumbling on his words and failing miserably at being polite. it was a fond memory. overtime, he’d obviously polished himself up (but only in the presence of you and your family).

“that’s more like it,” you said.

“tch.” he sipped his coffee, unrelenting to admit that you’d won.

“well, let’s cover basic facts. your birthday is april 20 and you like spicy food.”

he coughed again, setting his drink down. “yeah.”

“are you okay? d’you need water, or something? are the lights in here too bright?”

he shook his head, eyes still dazed with a certain unclarity. “‘m fine, idiot.”

you weren’t convinced. “...whatever you say.”

he took another sip, closing his eyes then continuing as normal. normal, in the standards of bakugou, of course. “i-i think i know damn well enough about you. don’t need to prove shit,” he grumbled the last bit.

“a little bit too well,” you muttered saltily. “well, this is a learning experience for me, take it or leave it. we need to get along at the dinner, don’t we?” you drummed your fingers on the table, eyes darting around at the cafe. the decor was pretty. 

he made a grievance under his breath, but nodded. “there’s my dad and my mom - the old hag - and me. i’m an only child.” figures. he continued, “they both work in fashion… yeah… my dad’s more quiet than my mom, she’s loud… apparently we’re a lot alike - don’t comment - but yeah, she’s my mom. they live in shizuoka, and it’ll be just them at the dinner. you’ll need to stay overnight...”

“seems… intimate,” you commented offhandedly.

he whistled. “you think?”

the gears in your head turned as you stared into the space over bakugou's shoulder at a large poster of some featured drink. it was all small talk to you, but you saw this meeting for what it was. an opportunity. it was your break from the uniform days plaguing you for the past week's - he wouldn’t need to watch over you, now your fake lover. lovers were equal. 

love - what was love? you didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. feigned or not, it was different. couples were moody, from what you could gather. one day they’d be hanging off each other’s limbs, and the next, they were bickering their heads off. it sounded fun, to be a couple with bakugou rather than his employer. you could say goodbye to normalcy and tedium.

you felt your lips turn into a smile as a plan developed in your mind, tapping the table at an increasingly faster tempo. who cared about the dinner? you were a fake couple! you could break away from the norm and find the things that made bakugou tick. you could gain a one-up over him. you could pick his personality apart piece by piece until it broke the monotony of daily life. you watched bakugou’s expression grow puzzled and frustrated. you pretended to be deep in thought, aware that bakugou was opening his mouth to make a snarky comment presumably about how the smile on your face was getting unnerving to him.

you didn’t let him speak, instead cupping your face in your hands and leaning in towards him. “how do you think we should become more intimate, kat-su-ki?”

you think you got soft over the years. when you first met bakugou, he was a rough little thing. being the same age as you, he was far less qualified compared to the other candidates to be your bodyguard. he looked out of place in his suit identical to everyone else. call it fate, or what you will, beckoning you towards him. when you first met him, you could’ve never imagined how far into the future you’d be stuck with the boy. all of the bodyguards you’d hired prior to bakugou’s appearance in your life didn’t last long. it wasn’t their fault; no, no, they were very competent. extremely competent - to the point it was boring, scrutinized under their meticulous gaze. you could do absolutely nothing under their watch, and where was the fun in that?

so, long story short, you hired bakugou for his incompetence. you’d low expectations for how long he’d last. you were surprised he could even put on a tie properly. from the way his hair spiked in every which way (“undignified!” your father had complained to you) and how his feet shuffled against the nice, newly polished cherry wood floors (“the scuff marks…”), bakugou was far from the epitome of a bodyguard. he couldn’t sit still and constantly made weird crackling noises (which you later learned were small explosions, not the concerningly incessant crack of his knuckles). the cherry on top to the disaster pie called bakugou, however, was his speech. he was polite, at face value, but also incredibly rough at face value. if you transcribed his words down, they’d be all standard formalities. it was the quirky way in which he presented his words; gritted out like somehow had forced him into this job. actually, scratch that, it was like this job was the be-all or end-all of his life. he was like an extremely tsundere shounen protagonist. he needed to win (“win what?” your father had laughed in disbelief) and be the very best. you'd… appreciate the sentiment more if you were his mentor in becoming a pokemon trainer.

of all the things bakugou was at the time, he was not a stoic old man nor a cold, indifferent boy who looked down on you snottily; he got the job. much to your father’s chagrin, of course. you’re pretty sure he had a backup bodyguard during the first month or so of bakugou’s employment, in case bakugou dropped out mysteriously for any reason. 

surprisingly, bakugou was competent, but not infuriatingly so. he had snark, and under any other employer he would’ve been fired in the first week. he did his job, and that was all. it was fun to tick him off, too, and so easy. it was - dare you say it? - cute. you wanted to watch him fall apart and leave, as so many others had. you waited for the day he’d get used to you or vice versa, when you’d wake up with nothing to look forward to. in the end, no one ever stayed with you. you could usually figure that out within the first week of a bodyguard’s services.

these days, you started feeling that way. bakugou was just becoming everyone else you’d ever hired. he was becoming everyone else. for some reason, though, you still clasped onto the thread of hope that maybe he was different, and that led you down a series of events trying to convince yourself he was different.

at the same time, you told yourself he was like everyone else. did you want him to stay or not? you didn’t know anymore. maybe fate would spin something good out of this, or maybe he would. you didn’t want it in your hands anymore.

being flirty was definitely not the best route of plan, but man, it was efficient. what better way to fake being a couple than organically develop that relationship? that was your bullshit reasoning to the logical part of yourself (when it was obviously far from the truth).

yeah, it was definitely not the best plan. you bored of it quite quickly, but couldn’t shake off the lasting feeling of fluttering in your stomach. you supposed it was because it was the most reaction you’d gotten from bakugou in months. you’d never seen him so disgruntled.

he was very, very blushy. you didn’t know how you hadn’t learned of it earlier. his cheeks were dusted strawberry red, matching the hue on the tips of his ears. ah, tsundere bakugou had returned for a short period of time. you wished you could've taken a picture of him.

you tapped the tip of his nose and he hissed at you, cheeks darkening a shade.

“a boop?” he scoffed indignantly in disbelief. “who calls it that? a five year old?” but you could tell that he really enjoyed it on the inside.

“what- what are you playing at, dumbass?” he swatted your hand when you tried to boop him again.

“c’mon, couples need to do coupley things, katsuki,” you cooed. “like overly affectionate pda~”

you didn’t know someone could get so red.

“since when did you call me by my first name?” he grumbled, unable to form any other type of response.

“since we started ‘dating,’” you teased back, realizing that watching bakugou become more and more uncomposed was more fun than you’d expected. he'd never become so open around you; after all, you'd had a strictly professional relationship prior, so bakugou never expressed any hint of a personality other than his behavior when he was first hired. it was a good change, in your eyes.

then, as you did of most things, you bored of it. sure, flustering bakugou was fun because he was so outwardly tsundere, but your attention span was short. he was already starting to recollect himself in record time, face cooling from a startling scarlet to pink and remarks becoming increasingly cohesive.

you're not even sure if he was aware of your gaze resting upon him as you half-assed responses and watched the gears in his head furiously turn. when he got real worked up, he pouted when speaking and occasionally slurred words together. his eyes tended to veer away when he thought of a response and he always got fidgety. 

eventually, you stopped teasing him. by this time, the ice in his drink had already melted and you were dangerously close to kissing him on the cheek (it was an impulse thing! you were not catching feelings!).

if there was one thing you learned, it was this: bakugou was truly a sight in his emotional state, though you could argue his unassuming state was equally, if not more breathtaking.

you noticed it as morning light illuminated him through the window of your room, hitting the silky fabric of your bedsheets around him. he was reading some book, dressed in comfortable attire that felt oddly domestic. maybe it'd be the most casual you'd ever see bakugou.

the thought struck a chord in you, making you wonder what'd happen after the dinner. it'd be awkward, for sure. it dawned on you that these moments with katsuki would vanish and things would go back to normal. they'd disappear into thin air, like nothing had ever happened. you weren't well educated in horology, but you were pretty sure that the time you'd spent with him would vanish as well, not to be spoken of or referenced ever again. time would keep trudging forward and you'd only be able to stare back as it disappeared on the horizon line.

you wanted to grasp the time that flooded your hands, encase the moment in glass and hold it in your palm forever.

"oi, idiot, what are you staring at?" and maybe it was the first time you truly heard bakugou's voice. it was rough on the edges with a soft core, you realized. maybe, after these couple of days, bakugou had started to care for you.

"nothing, stupid," you mumbled, returning your attention to your phone, but you couldn't shake off the newfound feeling that holed up in your heart. bakugou didn't care about you, you told yourself. you had a strictly professional relationship with him, and that was only broken for the time being because he needed a favour. 

right. this was all for a favor.

nights spent testing each other on the most miniscule of facts and afternoons spent telling each other stories about each other - it was all nothing. it wasn't a big deal, you repeated to yourself.

still, you couldn't help but to look back up at bakugou and let your imagination run. he wore a black shirt and sweatpants, a complete 180 turn from the typical three piece suit he normally wore. maybe this is what he'd look like in the mornings if you were a proper couple, not client and bodyguard - maybe in another universe. you could imagine his bedhead, hair all messy and eyes still worn with sleep, vastly different from the professional persona he had around you.  you'd wake up inhaling the scent of caramel and feeling his warmth surround you, feeling secure merely in his embrace. it'd be him and you in your own little bubble, unperturbed by the entire world.

wait, caramel? you wondered. where did that come from?

"you're staring again, dumbass," bakugou grunted, not looking up from his book.

"zoned out on the blandest thing i saw, sorry," you replied.

you sat in silence like that for a while. you weren't not exactly sure how it was bonding time for the dinner (were you sharing telepathic waves?), but it was comfortable like a fluffy comforter on a frigid winter day. it felt secure, like a home you never had in your own bedroom. every now and then there was the sound of a page turning from bakugou and a tap on your phone from you, and things never felt so normal. it was too short an eternity for you; before you knew it, you had some event to attend to for your father, solely there for the image of his company.

you didn't see the bittersweet look on bakugou's face as he watched you leave, or how he hadn't even finished a chapter of his book during the hours he'd sat with you. as his eyes followed your disappearing silhouette, bakugou wondered if he'd ever be able to see you like that again.

a foreign giddy feeling filled your chest as you got ready for the dinner with bakugou’s parents. you’d brought a bag for light travel packed with essentials (pyjamas, toothbrushes, and things like that), having planned ahead. you were typically indifferent to gatherings of any kind, having attended so many for your father. besides, this was a favor for bakugou. you weren’t sure why you were being so indecisive choosing an outfit for the dinner, or why your heart felt light as a feather, fluttering about in your rib cage boundless. this was no big deal, you told yourself. it’d only be bakugou and his parents; you’d spoken at gatherings of far more people with less nerves. you penned it down to only being excited for the food which was so coveted by bakugou. his mother, mitsuki, was apparently an outstanding cook (bakugou was apparently good as well), and you had to admit, you missed the heartening scent of homemade dishes. her specialty was spicy curry - your mouth watered at the thought. 

yes, you reassured yourself as you walked out of the door and met the fresh, winter air outside, you were only in it for the food. you had an abnormally fast heart rate and a spring to your step (as noted by bakugou) solely for the food. 

shizuoka prefecture was two hours away from your hometown, tokyo, and you forced bakugou to drive. the trip didn’t really feel like two hours, anyway, in your opinion. according to bakugou, that was only because you were sleeping the majority of the time and he was stuck with the dull task of driving and only the low hum of the radio to entertain him. 

“well, this is it,” you said to bakugou, approaching his parents’ home, bag in hand. it looked quite elegant on the outside, snow thinly blanketing the well-kept greenery in the front. you turned to look at him. his suit looked nicer than usual, on full display because he refused to wear a coat despite the frigid air biting at any bit of bare skin unsheathed on your body. (“just the perks of having a great quirk like mine,” he’d said. you punched his shoulder.) you huddled closer into the warm padding of your coat, watching your white breath dissipate in the air.

“it is,” he belatedly said. his face was atypically solemn, eyes downcast and seemingly lost in thought. you didn’t comment on it. something about the nippy winter air numbed the atmosphere, as if all warmth had subsided only to your coat. 

“do i look alright?” you asked him, trying to wipe away any last bits of drool you might’ve had on the corner of your mouth.

“yeah. you look… really nice,” he commented quietly. you didn’t mention that your bulky coat was covering the entirety of your attire. a heavy silence fell over the two of you.

anyway, the mood was quickly relieved by the presence of mitsuki bakugou, who greeted the pair of you at the door with her husband, masaru. bakugou really was a spitting image of his mother, sharing the same spiked blond hair and annoyingly clear skin with her. they also had similarly loud personalities, you observed later on. they’d often bicker with no real malicious intent. they were both much different compared to bakugou’s father, masaru, who was a gentle, soft-spoken man with brown hair and glasses. 

mitsuki met you with enthusiasm, eagerly asking you questions about yourself and your relationship with bakugou. it was strange to see bakugou so quiet; though, at some points in the conversation, he looked like he was going to be sick. you didn’t have time to ask him about it, occupied by his mother’s unending but well-meaning questions. you’d expected to fib for most of them, but the truth easily slipped from your tongue. even compliments about him were half-truths. 

"when we first met, he was like a fish out of water!" you recounted to mitsuki. "he stumbled on his words and my father didn't approve of him as my bodyguard. but, i pushed through, and here we are! right, katsuki?"

"r-right," he coughed, unable to look you in the eye and fidgeting nervously.

"it amazed me, too," mitsuki admitted. "i'd never seen our katsuki looking so polished before - it used to be a trouble getting him to even wake up at a decent time." she smiled at you. "you've brought a blessing on him."

bakugou cleared his throat. "don't talk about me like i'm not here," he grumbled.

"oh, katsuki," mitsuki cooed, pinching bakugou's cheek. "masaru, let's prepare dinner." she looked at you and bakugou. "the two of you don't need to worry about a thing - oh, you still have your bags! i’ll put them in katsuki’s room."

upon the absence of bakugou’s parents, the two of you sat beside each other without a word. 

“are you… feeling alright?” you asked suddenly, breaking the silence. “you don’t look so well.”

“fine,” he grunted. “i’m fine.”

“are you sure?” you teased in an attempt to lighten the mood. “not nervous meeting the parents?”

he cracked a small smile, but his fingers still nudged each other in his lap. you touched his shoulder, first in an attempt to comfort him, but soon realized that he was very toasty. you scooted towards him; he stared at you with an surprised, indecipherable expression. you linked his arm with yours and leaned into him, inhaling his cologne and bathing in his warmth.

“what?” you mumbled. “you’re warm.” you intertwined his fingers with yours. “warm,” you happily cooed, eyes slipping shut. 

“jesus christ,” bakugou hissed. “you’re freezing. is it humanly possible for your hands to be this cold?” his other hand enveloped your hand (still being held by his), rubbing his thumb soothingly on the heel of your palm. a bubble of warmth fizzed inside you, heart effervescing like a carbonated beverage. he held you long after your hand had passed room temperature, and you sensed that maybe the fuzzy feeling jittering about you wasn’t his quirk. it was like some sort of low fire, crackling deep within you. you hadn’t much time to dwell on the thought when your eyes jolted open, smelling really, really good food wafting from somewhere near.

“look at the lovebugs,” you heard mitsuki murmur, standing in the doorway connecting the kitchen to the living room leaning on her husband. “dinner’s ready,” she softly said upon noticing your eyes on her. 

your eyes widened, looking down at the hand entwined in yours, and you look at the man next to you. bakugou was sound asleep, tranquil slumber having sheathed itself around him. his head leaned against the top of the couch, mouth slightly agape and chest falling rhythmically.

“hey,” you whispered. reluctant to let go of his hand, you used your opposite hand to tap his shoulder lightly. “hey, sleepyhead.”

bakugou groaned, eyes still closed and body unmoving. “five… more… minutes…”

“sure,” you said easier than you expected. you immediately let go of the man’s hand (he reached out toward you blindly at this) and stood up. “i’ll just eat all of that food you've been looking forward to by myself…” mitsuki and masaru looked at you fondly.

“nice try, dumbass,” he said gruffly, standing up and putting a hand on your shoulder. his eyes were lidded with torpor and his voice was an octave deeper. it sent shivers down your spine - you hadn’t ever heard his voice like that - and a part of you wanted to hear it again. sadly, the effects of sleep passed him quite quickly; by the time he’d said “let’s eat, dumbass,” and made his way to the dining room, his voice was back to normal.

dinner consisted of scrumptious-looking (and tasting!) chicken katsu, curry, and even more conversation. your mouth watered as you spooned yourself the perfect ratio of rice, curry, and chicken in one bite. you politely raved to bakugou’s mother about her heavenly cooking, and bakugou never looked so proud or embarrassed in his life. masaru discussed fashion with you, mitsuki occasionally chiming in and offering to show you pictures of young bakugou modelling. you courteously declined for the fear of bakugou’s face getting any redder than it was already. 

“y’know, katsuki really wanted to be a pro-hero when he was younger,” mitsuki reminisced. “he even was accepted at that really prestigious hero school, ua.”

you looked at bakugou with questioning eyes, and he shook his head dismissively, hesitant to the topic. you wondered what he was doing here, as your bodyguard, rather than the hero he aspired to be. it wasn’t like he’d be unable to become a sidekick once out of ua, so what happened…?

at the end, you seemed to have gotten the approval of mitsuki and masaru. your heart twisted in pain realizing who you were and why you were here; this was asked of you, nothing real. you pushed the thought away, returning to the dining room after washing your hands. 

“oh, my!” mitsuki exclaimed as you entered the dining room. “it’s getting late.” she turned to you. “we don’t have a guest bedroom, so you’ll have to share a room with katsuki, if that’s alright?”

you looked to bakugou, who seemed lost in his own thoughts. “sure, i don’t mind,” you replied. 

“i’m sure you’d love to see bakugou’s childhood room.” this brought bakugou abruptly to his senses; his eyes rounded, face looking like a deer caught in headlights. 

a smile tweaked your lips. “i’d love to.”

you didn’t know what you were expecting when mitsuki opened the door to bakugou’s room. certainly, though, you were not expecting this. his room was decorated from head to toe with all might merchandise, carefully collected through the years. it could’ve been worse, you admitted to yourself, but bakugou’s interest in all might surprised you. the level of admiration bakugou had for the former symbol of peace was clear, plastered on the wall posters and figurines which dotted his bookshelves. 

“of course,” misuki said, “this is all really from his middle school days. he had to move to a dormitory system in high school, and i’m afraid he didn’t take much along with him…”

you tilted your head at bakugou, who’d taken particular interest in the ground with his hand sheepishly on the back of his neck.

“it’s cute,” you reassured him gently.

“though katsuki’s bed is pretty big, we could pull out a futon if you’d like…” 

“it’s alright.” shit. why did you say that? noting the bewilderment on bakugou’s face, you added, “we are dating and all…” you mentally smacked yourself for assuming bakugou would be comfortable sleeping in the same bed as you. “yeah,” bakugou said, much to your shock.

“that settles it!” mitsuki smiled. she winked. “don’t stay up too late.”

after mitsuki and masaru bade you goodnight and closed the door behind them, you were left alone with bakugou.

“hey, is that a picture of you?” after looking around the room, your eyes fell on a framed photo sitting on bakugou’s dresser. you reached for it, recognizing a familiar spiky haired blonde boy proudly holding a trophy.

“wait-” the frame was already held in your hands.

“aw, you were such a cute kid.” you teased, “can’t say the same about now.”

he huffed, ears reddening. “there’s a photo album on the bookshelf,” he mumbled, pointing to a thick looking book on his bookshelf. you eagerly plucked it from the shelf, holding it like a precious treasure in your two hands. he shoved his hands into his pockets and rested his chin on your shoulder, watching you open the photo album. 

the first photo was a baby photo, of course, and you could feel that it was taking every part of bakugou not to rip the book from your hands and scorch it all out of embarrassment. the first few pages were those of baby bakugou, eating food with his hands or playing with his parents. as the book progressed, you watched him develop a quirk (blowing up a vase) and become interested in pro-heroes (clutching an all might doll to his chest with a big smile on his face). the photos became more scarce as bakugou grew, but he seemed to grow happier. paging through photos of him in high school, the man’s gaze seemed to grow softer and fonder. his high school pictures consisted of him either standing in front of the famous ua or making an indifferent face with a group of his friends, who looked vaguely familiar from somewhere. upon further inspection, it dawned on you. you could recognize them all - they were young versions of the pro-heroes red riot, pinky, chargebolt, and cellophane. they regularly appeared on your newsfeed for one heroic deed or another, so it came no surprise to you that they attended the famed ua high. 

as for bakugou, though? you couldn’t understand what he was doing there, or rather, here. if he graduated ua, he’d be right on track to become a pro-hero, not a bodyguard. 

bakugou already sensed your revelation, shutting the book and putting it down. sitting on the bed, he squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“i know what you’re thinking,” he stated. he took a shaky breath. “i’m- i’m not ready to talk about it.” 

“okay,” you replied. “i think… we should get some sleep. you have to drive back tomorrow.”

he snorted. “me?” 

you nodded like it was a given.

the night was long, dragging in the same manner that you’d trudge through deep snow with weights on your ankles. it wasn’t that bakugou’s old bed was uncomfortable; it was surprisingly plush. you laid awake, though, as the clock ticked by and the house went silent. you felt as stiff as a wooden board, staring at the dark ceiling and thinking about everything and nothing.

your thoughts first strayed to bakugou’s childhood, and how he’d seemed the poster child for an aspiring pro-hero. how could he have given that up? he had friends, dreams, and a path open to his aspirations. yet somehow his life had deviated into this, pretending to date you for his parents’ sake.  

it felt strange to lay in his bed in his parents’ house and not to really call him yours. not that you wanted to call him yours outside of this scenario. definitely not. it was just the guilt gnawing at you that impaired your proper judgement - your conscience felt pity. you pulled off a large lie to bakugou’s parents that you were dating when in reality, you’d never even gone on a proper date with the man; for all you knew, he could be a terrible person. he could have terrible dating manners and leave to the bathroom when the check comes in an attempt to force his date to pay. it was hard to imagine, but hey, you reasoned to yourself, it was a possibility.

“can’t sleep either?” bakugou’s deep voice startled you. you thought he’d fallen asleep hours ago.

“yeah,” you snorted. “and here i thought you were in the habit of always sleeping early,” you referenced his mother’s stories of him in middle and high school. you turned on your side to face the man.

“kinda hard with five different all mights staring at me,” he joked, gesturing to his plethora of all might-themed decorations.

you imitated all might’s larger than life voice. “i am here! … to watch you sleep!”

bakugou first snickered, which then transitioned into a full-blown, unrestrained (yet somewhat hushed) laugh. you couldn’t help but laugh too, watching his features crinkle and gummy smile widen. your heart felt peculiar in your chest, but you couldn’t figure out the feeling. in the years you’d known him, you’d never seen him so relaxed or open. you knew you’d miss moments like this in the morning, when you’d drive back and the deal would be over. it sent a bittersweet pang to your heart - why couldn’t moments like these last forever?

you woke up to find bakugou gone, leaving you alone in the bed with only a warm indentation next to you letting you know he’d just left. you rubbed your eyes groggily, sitting up and pushing the covers aside. you swung your legs over the edge of the bedside, standing up and making the bed once again. you padded out of the all might-furnished room to the kitchen, where you could hear quiet footsteps and the sizzling of a frying pan.

“someone’s finally awake,” bakugou’s husky voice remarked. he was standing at the stovetop, wearing an apron over his nightwear and frying eggs. sleep had worn his voice deeper; you swooned at the domestic sight before you. no, it wasn’t swooning, you told yourself. just… appreciation. you really wanted to make a comment on his muscles, bulging from his short-sleeved shirt.

“that looks really yummy,” you said, in no way whatsoever referencing his biceps and definitely referring to the egg in the pan.

“i’d like to pretend that was an innocent comment, but the direction your eyes are looking at beg to differ,” bakugou deadpanned. you looked away, flushed.

“so, whatcha making?” you said, plopping yourself on a chair. 

“eggs, rice, natto, miso,” he said. “but nothing for you until you change and brush your teeth.”

you stuck your tongue out at him. “who are you, my mom?” you continued, “i used to hate natto when i was younger.”

“it’s good for you,” bakugou said, moving the egg onto a plate of steaming rice.

“you sound a lot like my mom,” you replied. “but i like natto now, just not too much of it.”

“i liked natto when i was younger,” bakugou said.

“really? all of my friends hated it. they complained about the smell.” you reminisced about your childhood days, when your biggest worry was whether you had homework or not.

“speaking of smell? your breath. go brush your teeth.”

“wh- i’m so far from you, there’s no way-”

“no hygiene, no food.”

“who even says that?” but you were already out of your chair and heading towards the bathroom.

“oh, by the way,” bakugou said as you were halfway through emptying your plate with rice in your mouth, “what do you want?”

“wha?” you said, chewing the egg-natto-rice mixture in your mouth. “what?”

“the deal,” he said. “before my parents wake up.”

“the deal-?” you racked your mind for any deal you’d made in the recent days, as you weren’t much a gambler, then it hit you. the deal. in an attempt to convince you to pretend to be his date, he’d said he’d do whatever you wanted for a day in exchange. you hadn’t thought about it at all.

“um,” you said intelligently. what did you want? you wanted to spend more time with him, but there would be no way…

“take me ice skating.” he choked on his rice.

“what?”

“i really want to ice skate…” you lied. “i’ve never been.” another lie.

“you want to go ice skating with me?”

“pay for me.” you could’ve paid for yourself. “and, you have terrible dating skills. how are you supposed to get a real partner? consider this beneficial for yourself.”

he blinked, taken aback. “...okay,” he agreed, dumbfounded. you hoped he couldn’t see through you. “when?”

“today, duh.”

by the time you finished your plate, bakugou’s parents had woken up to bid the two of you farewell. hours later, you found yourself at an outdoor ice skating rink in tokyo.

the rink was decorated festively; surrounding trees had been wrapped in golden lights and there was something in the atmosphere which bustled with cheer. those skating were either children or couples, laughing and skating together. you told yourself not to pay too much attention to them, but there was something about the way they looked so happy that made you yearn for the same.

you clumsily clomped toward the entrance of the rink itself, clad in four layers of warm clothing and worn rental skates. cold air nipped at your cheeks and your breath was a snowy white before your eyes. patting your cheeks in an attempt to half hype yourself up and half warm yourself up, you tensely stepped onto the frozen water. clunk. clunk. 

“you look like an idiot,” bakugou said as you made your way onto the ice with slow clunks. he was surprisingly cocky about his skating prowess once he’d gotten his skates on, despite his lack of experience on the ice. he was unaffected by the chilly weather, wearing a thin jacket and denim jeans despite the vast majority of other skaters wearing winter coats. 

“it’s cold,” you responded. slippery ice beneath your feet, you suddenly felt a great deal less confident in your ice skating abilities. it might as well have been your first time skating, in the eyes of bakugou. you took baby steps on the ice, both hands gripping the side rails while bakugou glided breezily past you. 

“c’mon, idiot, loosen up~”

easy for him to say. “i’m- trying,” you gritted out, attempting to copy his fluid motions. 

“hey, dumbass, take my hands.” bakugou stopped in front of you, both hands outstretched for you to hold. you looked at him warily, then accepted the offer, his hands replacing the railings. 

“don’t hold them that hard,” bakugou said. “i’m not going to drop you. relax.”

you nodded, gulping as you released your death grip on his hands. starting to skate backwards (an incredible feat in your eyes), he slowly guided you along the edge of the rink. you spent most of the time staring at your own feet, trying to keep your balance and rhythm in time with bakugou’s. once you seemed to get the hang of it, he sped up ever so slightly, loosening his grip on your hands.

“just like that,” and his voice was much gentler than you’d ever heard it. you looked up to meet his soft gaze. your heart leapt and he quickly averted his eyes. “um,” he coughed awkwardly. “i think you’ve gotten the hang of it.”

“okay.” you started to let go of his hands, testing your balance skating without anything to hold onto. in small amounts at first, you start to let go, allowing your strides to become longer and longer. bakugou matched your pace beside you and eventually, the two of you fell into conversation. you’d both forgotten your own words about how this was for him to gain dating experience; it felt too real to be practice.

“the truth is, i was really, really close to becoming a pro-hero,” he confessed, “but i was injured in my third year. i had to take a break for a year or so, but by that time, i was too rusty for the job.” 

“but-” you said, almost stumbling on the ice at the revelation, “didn’t you do all that training-?”

he shrugged. “it’s the reality of it,” he said dismissively, a momentary shadow crossing his face. he recomposed. “i’m over it now.”

you had the slight suspicion that his words didn’t ring quite true, but let go of it. still, you couldn’t help but think about all of his all might decor - he must have idolized the man, only to fail at his dream. his room was like a memento to everything he wanted yet couldn’t reach. “you wouldn’t have met me if you hadn’t become a bodyguard,” you said cheerily in an attempt to distract both him and yourself.

“true,” he smiled. then, almost to himself, he added, “i don’t regret that.”

the two of you skated a couple more laps around the rink. conversation faded and your feet became more and more sore after skating for so long. a chill had settled itself onto your bones as the sky tinted in anticipation of the evening to come.

“we should get going now,” bakugou said. “before it gets too cold.”

“yeah-” your phone buzzed in your pocket. “hang on, give me a second.”

it was tanaka, telling you that you had a date scheduled by your father in two hours. it took you a moment, it really did, to remember who you were and what your priorities truly lay.

you made it a point not to tell bakugou what the call was about on the way back. you told him it was about a business deal, and he pretended to buy it. the car ride was desolate, lacking all warmth despite the heater blasting. you felt guilty; why had you lied to bakugou? you and he both knew you were lying about the business deal. was it pity? why had you felt the need to protect him?

you could only amount it to the fact that maybe bakugou was becoming a friend. maybe bakugou was becoming someone you never wanted to hurt. your thoughts were the only thing you could hear over the buzz of the car’s heater. you looked to the sky with imploring eyes as if some cloud on the lavender-tinged atmosphere listened and could provide you an answer. 

you weren’t sure if it was the clouds’ doing or some star hiding behind the sun’s light that washed a sense of solemness by the time you returned to meet tanaka at the gates. it was almost enough to make you forget the sad feeling you held whilst looking at bakugou one last time before stepping out of the car to greet your old butler. the feeling was unfathomable to you; in your daze on the ride back, there’d seemingly been no reason for such a feeling to linger in your heart. why had you felt so much guilt, so much sadness for this man you were supposed to be strictly on business relations with?

not that you’d done this, anyway. your business relationship with bakugou ended the minute you agreed to that favour he’d proposed, and was further broken when you ice skated together. you wondered if he felt the same as you, or if things would return to the way they had been after this date tonight. somewhere deep in you hoped it wouldn’t - hoped he wouldn’t forget it all. (“stay here,” you’d told him when you stepped out of the car. his stare was vacant; would he? you weren’t sure why you even asked.)

“tanaka,” you said stiffly. the air was frigid around you (when had the temperature dropped so suddenly?) and a breeze wrapped itself around your legs. an impulse told you to turn back, look at bakugou, and tell him the things you left unsaid - but you didn’t. 

“y/n,” he nodded. it was like a wake-up call. this was who you were, truly. your father’s pawn, his company’s pawn. you were a face used for business and nothing more. you traded your feelings for your father’s wealth - that’s who you were.

yet it was the past two days that made you feel more like yourself than ever before. the time spent with bakugou, of all people, made you feel genuinely happy. he made your name feel more like yours than your father’s. it seemed it was he who could only coax this feeling out of you. you, certainly, couldn’t imagine it being anyone else. there was something unlike anything you’d experienced before which bakugou gave you. but you couldn’t let your father down, could you?

“y/n, we must go now,” tanaka urged. 

you didn’t look back.

bakugou watched you leave with an inscrutable expression. as soon as you vanished from his sight, he let out a deep sigh and bashed his head on the steering wheel, then rubbed the spot of contact. that would leave a mark.

he wished he could pretend he didn’t know what your sudden meeting was about. he couldn’t. what kind of bodyguard was unaware of his client’s schedule? you were going on a date, on account of your father’s absolutely superb matchmaking skills. he wanted to strangle the bastard. 

god, he was an idiot to have gotten his hopes up about you. just like countless other things in his life, you were unattainable. he was constantly in pursuit of the impossible, it felt, yet none of his endeavours’ ends had quite felt like this. it started when he was a child with a newly developed quirk. constant words of praise fluttered around his ears, all applauding his strong quirk and natural intelligence. it continued when he entered school, winning academic and athletic awards for what everyone called his talents. (he remembered looking up the definition of “talent” in a dictionary in his elementary school’s library and being sorely disappointed. no one had seen the hours he’d dedicated to practicing and studying after school - all of that couldn’t amount to what everyone else had called natural talent.) 

in doing so - winning all those competitions - he’d somehow earned the approval of all those around him. it was never something he’d wanted or aimed for, but it soon started to fit him like a custom-tailored outfit. somewhere along the way, he started to seek out the approval of others, flaunting his accomplishments to do so. however, as years went by, one thing became apparent: the tactics used on his peers and teachers would never gain his parents’ approval. he so yearned for a tad of his parents’ praise or satisfaction; even an “i’m proud of you, katsuki,” from them would’ve sent katsuki to the stars and back. he never was quite sure, as a youth, how to gain this prize, so to speak. and so, for the sake of his parents, he became stronger and stronger and thus began his journey to attain the first impossibility in his life.

high school, at once, came knocking on his door in the midst of this endless journey. with it came izuku midoriya, the boy katsuki had bullied in middle school. this time, though, it was izuku who was stronger; katsuki had so wanted to atone for all that he’d done to the boy, but it proved something impossible. on the physical level, izuku had already forgiven him and moved on. it wasn’t enough for katsuki, who’d really done nothing to deserve izuku’s kindness. so katsuki set off, trying to truly deserve the boy’s forgiveness and make up for everything he’d done. in katsuki’s mind, there would be nothing he could do that would balance out the weight of his actions to izuku. hence unraveled the second impossibility katsuki set up for himself.

the third impossibility found itself in katsuki’s third year at ua academy. he was working for his parents’ approval and atonement for izuku; this impossibility, though, would send everything crumbling down. impossibles, unlike any math equations covered during his schooling, could not be cancelled out the more brought into the equation. it was perhaps katsuki’s only salvation and lifeline, his passion to become a hero. fate snatched this very possibility from katsuki’s hand, snapping the lifeline and dangling it just out of his reach. all of it was cruel - the sympathetic words spoken from recovery girl’s lips and the weeks katsuki had to sit out of hero training. even worse was how katsuki watch his grade drop from one of the top in the class to only passable in general studies, no longer sharp enough to qualify for a pro-hero. by the time he healed, he was rendered unable to rejoin the hero course. his goal was thrown away easily, becoming another impossibility.

katsuki trained himself physically for a new job. an acquaintance had introduced him to being a bodyguard, and katsuki figured that was close enough to being a hero. not that he particularly enjoyed the notion of waiting on someone’s every beck and call. but through and through his countless impossibilities and misfortunes, he had to move forward. he was tired, so tired - hearing his parents’ disappointed voices on the phone and looking up to see a billboard of the newest top pro-hero, deku. when he foolishly and naively got his hopes up about you, the logical part in him knew it was doomed. he knew that as he stared at you, illuminated by a golden light in your bedroom, it was ill-fated. you were a miracle opening up a new life to him - but miracles weren’t real.

of all the impossibilities in his life, you were the most painful. why was he cursed in such a way? where had the happiness in his life gone, if not with you as you walked away from him? he stared at his suit cuff, suffocated in the stupid attire. he should never have taken this job. 

a knock. another knock. three more rapid knocks, and he finally looked up to see your eager face looking at him from the passenger side window. he hastily unlocked the car door with a click.

“finally,” your exasperated voice said to him, tinged in a happy hue that he’s confused by. 

“wh-where’s tanaka?” katsuki stuttered. “your date-”

“i did it, bakugou.” you beamed at him. “i refused. i said no.”

“wha-what? you refused what?” 

“the date, duh!” you laughed. you grew quiet. “i realized something. i realized that all i want is you, and it’s… it’s about time i start taking control of my life.”

katsuki cracked a smile. a real one, not painful like so many others he’d faked before. “you’re a dumbass, you know that?” and it was endearment, bringing you close to his heart. 

maybe fate had decided to bless him. maybe it was all the impossibilities in his life that had cancelled each other out to give him you. 

“oh, and by the way,” you said, changing the topic. “i’ve been thinking a lot about it recently. we need to have a rematch for that sorry excuse of a fight we had the other day. i will have an undisputed victory over you.”

“you’re on, moron.”

it was definitely fate that brought katsuki to you.

[aiden-png]

to celebrate the end of 2020, I’ve decided to share the highlights of the writing I did this year! I’m going to share a few of my favorite snippets from 2020, and I think this could be a fun tag meme to invite friends to join in on so they can appreciate their progress and hard work too! I couldn’t have written so much if it wasn’t for the great online community supporting me and all my wonderfully talented friends!!

I’m gonna tag @freshie-writes @silverdragon-imagines-blog @st0rmy-writes @fuckit-hero-of-trains @no-themes-just-memes @timeturner-jay and anyone else who wants to join in, feel free! you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but you all wrote amazing things this year and I’m gonna appreciate you for them!!

snippets below the cut (please do this or make a new post if you wanna join, just so we don’t flood everyone’s dashboard lol!)

it’s difficult to count for certain, but across 7 google docs from April to December 2020, I wrote 324,782 words just of Legend of Zelda fanfic! it’s been a crazy fun year and I think my writing has improved a ton since I started writing fic again in April! thank you all for supporting me through the last 9 months!! <3

here’s a highlight of some of my favorite excerpts from fics I wrote this year! Smoke on the Wind and Dream With Me are two of my favorite pieces I wrote this year for angst, while Four Feet of Pure Flirtation and Lessons in Love are my favorites for crack/fluff :D the other snippets are featured bc I’m proud of how the fics turned out !

Dream With Me: June 28, 2020 Legend and Hyrule sat on the beach, a mere two feet separating them. It felt like much more. Farther than they’d ever been apart before. The other heroes stumbled onto the sand, frozen in shock as they took in the scene before them. Legend, knife drawn and hands shaking dangerously. Hyrule, knees buried in the sand and hands held over his chest, trying desperately not to reach out again. The sun was rising, pinks disappearing into vibrant gold and crushed purple and bright blue. As dawn broke, their vision wavered. Hyrule gasped, Legend blurring before him, the sand beneath him fading, the roar of the waves diminishing. Magic hour was ending. “This isn’t a dream,” Hyrule whispered, and Legend’s shoulders shook with silent sobs. “I’m real. I’m here. Legend, come with me.” Hyrule stretched out his arm, fingers splayed, eyes begging. Legend flinched back, dagger slipping from shaking fingers. He stared, disbelieving. Vertigo consumed Hyrule’s senses, his vision clouding with black dots. “Take my hand, Legend!” Hyrule cried, and Legend jumped. He sprung forward, hand grasping. Hyrule felt nothing as Legend’s hand passed through his. “Hyrule!” He blinked, and found himself in an unfamiliar field, reaching towards sunrise.

Smoke on the Wind: August 7, 2020 Wind hadn’t always had this ability, but before his second adventure, before the ghosts became tangible to his skin and visible to his eyes, he still had a sixth sense of sorts to rely on. Back then he’d called it instinct, but now he called it a curse. It never helped him do better on his adventure, never showed him the way, never allowed him to prevent someone’s demise--only forced him to bear witness to it in all its excruciatingly gory detail. Some spoke of death like a mercy, others like a boon. Wind knew death like an old friend and he despised it with all the rage contained in his tiny body. Some feared death, some prayed for its delay. Wind feared no man, god, or figment of imagination. There was no reason to fear something he couldn’t prevent, there was no reason to pray to something that would never hear or listen. Some ran from death, some hid. Wind stared death in the eye and spat in its face. He thrust a magical fucking sword through its head and banished it to a watery grave.

Four Feet of Pure Flirtation: June 26, 2020 Maybe he should have shared just a tad bit more with them, but that was a regret for future Four to deal with. And really, he hadn’t been expecting it himself, so they couldn’t exactly blame him when Dark Link materialized in their camp one morning and sent Four’s heart racing in an unfamiliar-familiar way. Four felt the heat crawl up his chest, felt his tongue loosen, felt his eyes trail over Dark’s lithe form just a bit too slow to be innocent. No one had told him Dark was attractive. Although, Vio reminded him, we are the only ones attracted to villains. We are most decidedly not! Four shot back. The denial was empty. They most decidedly were.

Hero Through the Ages: June 19, 2020 Wild sighed, chin resting on his knees. He glanced over at Sky, feeling anxiety buzz within him as a question pushed at the back of his mind. “Hey, Sky… does the sword still recognize me?” Sky froze at the unexpected question, eyes searching Wild’s carefully schooled expression. Wild felt his anxiety rise but he held his ground as the older hero tentatively reached back and unsheathed the Master Sword. He closed his eyes for a moment, and Wild tried hard not to notice the new eyes on them as he waited for Sky’s response. He knew what the answer should be, but when the other slowly opened his eyes and held the sword out for Wild, it was still conflicting to feel the familiar weight of it in his hands. Not too heavy. Not burning. Perfectly at home, as if he’d just begun his adventure and still had many years left before the Calamity struck. Wild felt a pit in his stomach as he handed the sword back, Sky’s concerned gaze not helping. “How old were you when you pulled the sword?” Sky asked quietly, and Wild stared at his hands as they trembled slightly in his lap. “Too young.”

A Shower to Remember: July 4, 2020 Enter Twilight and Wild. TWILIGHT     I can see thee up th’re.     Come hither.     I simply wish to speak with thee.

Enter Legend to Shower Crashers. LEGEND     all’s well that ends well, I believe our plan hath been a success. cheers to thee all. FOUR     didst thou not see     Wild running     for his life not     a minute past? LEGEND     that is’t his problem, not mine.

Lessons in Love: July 9, 2020 The offer though, that’s what truly made Legend pause. Show you the ropes, he’d said. He should be insulted that Ravio thought he was that hopeless, but the man wasn’t wrong. Legend was absolutely, positively hopeless, evidenced by the situation he now found himself in. Should he say no and move on? Should he accept--and then what? Maybe he should laugh it off, say he was joking, or perhaps he should come clean now and tell Ravio how he felt? But he still didn’t know if Ravio felt the same, those dark eyes betraying nothing in the fading light of sunset. So, naturally, Legend continued to panic. “What do you mean by ‘show me the ropes’?” Legend asked, quick, defensive enough to pass as insulted. Ravio snorted, tasting the hot chocolate, and Legend’s eyes were drawn to his lips once more as if under a spell. “I mean no offense, Link,” Ravio laughed, seeming not to catch the blush on Legend’s face as Ravio used his name. “I just figured you might want some pointers. Flirting, hand holding, relationship advice, y’know? You don’t have to accept the offer by any means!” Flirting? Hand holding? Legend gulped. He was already an idiot. Maybe he could play dumb for a little while longer…

Scars: June 2, 2020 “I used to try and cover myself in public--I didn’t like the way people would whisper or stare when they saw. But eventually I came to accept the scars as part of me. I remembered how I got them, and I realized I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the journey that led to me getting these scars. And I like who I am…” Wild trailed off, sifting sand through his fingers as Warriors listened. “I’ve come to love my scars, because they hold such important memories for me. Even if some of the memories aren’t so great, I wouldn’t be who I am today without them, you know? And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

Beneath the Surface: July 13, 2020 For the first few months he had lied to himself, blaming the others or the weather or Shadow or Vaati or anything rather than admitting he had a problem. But Blue did, in fact, have a problem, and fighting and yelling it out wasn’t the healthiest solution. For the others it was easy. Green had Vio, for Wind could rarely move Earth, and Red got along with everyone he was so full of love to give. But Blue wasn’t good at teamwork, he wasn’t good at strategizing, and he wasn’t good at showing affection--he was good at being angry, and that was it. He was the protector, the toughest of them all in strength and will; but when you’re always protecting others, no one protects you. Not like Blue made it easy for the others to approach him, and he didn’t blame them for giving up. They were all struggling, they all had their own issues, and while Wind was a gentle breeze and Fire a warming comfort and Earth a steady rock--Water was impossible to hold down. He was forever changing, flowing, and while it meant that he could adapt well to new situations, it also meant that every time he felt close to getting a handle on his emotions they would slip from his grasp once more. His magic ebbed and swayed and his emotions followed their tide, not his, and so he pushed others away rather than admit he couldn’t handle himself. If protecting them meant distancing himself, then so be it.

The Point of No Return: June 19, 2020 He turned back to Four, brushing the back of his hand across his cheek. He’d wanted to share a meal with his partner. He’d wanted to see Four’s small smile--just for him--as he tried Hylian food for the first, second, hundredth time. Long ago, they’d promised to travel the world together. Four wanted to share everything with him; wanted to show him the forge, wanted him to meet his Grandfather, wanted to take him to see the Minish. After the adventure, Four had promised. He’d be free to go and do whatever he wanted, right by Four’s side. Well, he was at his side now. And this was not what they’d promised each other.

A Major Test of Strength: May 7, 2020 Even being worthy of the Triforce of Courage didn’t mean he was brave enough to act on, or even think, about how he felt about Sidon. He reasoned it was better not to say anything, especially now. He was going off to a battle he may not return from. Even if he burned to know if Sidon felt the same, it would be selfish to ask knowing he may be leaving for the last time. Link would rather go to the grave with his feelings then leave Sidon alone with them. At least if he died before confessing, Sidon would be able to move on, he hoped. Sidon was his best friend, and that was enough for now.

[tdotsspot]

2020.....

Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.

But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books. 

2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.

Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...

A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame. 

So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how?? 

30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.

A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents. 

Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out. 

Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating. 

America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day. 

I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained. 

THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.

That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously. 

Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body  changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....

Tdot, out. 

[ofstassi]

*james charles vc* good morning kitty girls ! i’m violet & after a few months of being highkey Stressed over coll*ge she ( me ) is Finally back from the dead :) this is a mess so i apologize for what u guys are About to witness, but be sure to click that like button & subscribe if you wanna see more videos ! but seriously plot with me ple ase ok anyways

a SCARLETT LEITHOLD lookalike was strolling down broadway street in their orange prada leather flame wedge heels. anastasia “stassi” deniro just had a birthday bash for her  twenty-second birthday. she has been living in new york city for twenty two years. i hear she tends to be gregarious at parties, but also kind of covetous. 

FULL NAME: anastasia ( resurrection ) lucille ( french origin of light ) sage ( wise one ) deniro. NICKNAME(S): annie, stassi, stas, stasia, anything her close friends & family can come up with, she’ll love. AGE: twenty two. DATE OF BIRTH: september 21th, 1996. ASTROLOGY SIGN: virgo. GENDER: female. PRONOUNS: she / her / hers. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english, french, italian, greek, some spanish. OCCUPATION: actress, 2019 miss universe contender. BIOLOGICAL PARENTS: aldo nathaniel arthur deniro & scarlett baccouche-deniro. SIBLINGS: aurora deniro ( twenty-six ) & atlas deniro ( twenty-one ). PET(S): gracie ( shihtzu ) & baby ( toy french bulldog ). CHILDREN: none. RELIGION: roman catholic. DRINK / DRUGS / SEX: yes / no / yes. HEIGHT: 5′10. RIGHT/LEFT HANDED: ambidextrous. TATTOOS: none ( at the moment ). POSITIVE TRAITS: gregarious, perceptive, audacious, quick-witted. NEGATIVE TRAITS: covetous, controlling, obstinate, snarky. NOTABLE HABITS: tying her hair up in a bun when she’s focused, fleeing the country when conflict within herself arises, unable to hide her facial expressions. NECESSITIES: green tea latte, lucky pen, lavender, 2 diamond-encrusted cartier bracelets ( gifted by her father ). LIKES: fighting, pastel blues, macarons, traveling, architecture, knowing all the answers. DISLIKES: small spaces, losing, anything orange flavored, the smell of gasoline. NET WORTH: 18 million.

𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚛𝚘.

                  the story of the deniros was easily depicted as nothing short of a classic fairytale ; nathaniel was next in line to run his family’s long-standing business worth more than you could put into words, while scarlett baccouche, the daughter of two british politicians was also a woman in power many learned to fear. given their elite statuses, it was no surprise to anyone when they had enrolled into columbia university, one of the most prestigous colleges in the country ; though the story of how they’d become enamored with one another had started with a hatred that had only melted the forthcoming years. it was what one would consider a true love story as they graduated, professed their vows, & conceived their first well-anticipated child, aurora deniro. it only took a couple years for the deniros to calculate the birth of their next child, & to settle down & begin their empire ; or as most would put it, a family. 

                     on october 21st, 1996, anastasia lucille sage deniro was born. she was the second, yet not the last child to arrive, meaning her place in the home was that she was a middle child. it had its perks, obviously —— not reigning the full responsibilities of what it meant to be the first & oldest child, or not being taken seriously as most younger siblings struggle with. see, from the very beginning of her life, stassi was well aware of the fact that she wasn’t a child, and she didn’t want to be treated as such ; the female figures in her life such as aurora & her mother ( even their maid, diana had landed a  fond place in stassi’s heart ) were the girl’s inspiration growing up, & thanks to their strict upbringing, they were raised with class & were put on a pedestal that expected nothing less than perfection.

                      stassi was five years old when she had asked  —— or more so, begged her parents to compete in pageants ( only the most prestigious ones, of course ). while her mother didn’t take much convincing as her & little stassi had grown to share many loved interests such as acting, her father was apprehensive about the decision. but because the main factor besides beauty for pageants were intelligence, he agreed, though it resulted in him piling that much more pressure upon her for schoolwork & of course, to win so it wouldn’t disgrace the deniro family name. whatever child worked hard, stassi worked 100 times harder, thanks to her brilliant work ethic ; she managed to skillfully juggle her schoolwork alongside the additional business classes her parents had given their three children, the acting classes, her private ballet & jazz lessons 7 days a week for the talent portion, & the countless hours of tailoring her custom-made outfits ( with her input, of course ) it wasn’t a shocker to anyone when she was crowned little miss new york.

                        by sixteen, the pressure had only multiplied as she grew older, striving for nothing but the best. she was preparing for the miss world competetion rounding up another win at nationals. high school was supposed to be the best years of your life, yet she turned down any youthful opportunity as a means to please her parents. that is, until a fellow classmate introduced her to adderall ; the tiny, magical pill that enhances your focus, granting you more hours of the day to pass your tests with flying colors & maintain your social life, because who needed sleep ? flash forward to her senior year, where her life was crafted to perfection —— she held the title of miss world that year, got accepted into columbia on a full scholarship ( not that she needed it ), had the perfect jock boyfriend on her arm & friends that were on top of the hierarchy with her, class valedictorian: the only thing was she became reliant on her pills.

                        it was prom night when the realization had dawned on her that the bubble encompassing her perfect life was made of glass. when it came to the deniros, the extent of her social life was partly a double life. while she wasn’t nearly as bad as her brother, she wasn’t exactly an angel, either ; stuffing silk pillows under her duvet to cast the illusion of a sleeping stassi if diana or her older sister, aurora, would check up on her that night, adorning an innocent white lace dress to her parents only to hike it further up the moment she met up with her peers. she learned it was a skill of hers, keeping secrets.

                        popping pills had managed to become one, too, which is why after winning prom queen & attempting to get belligerently wasted, she hadn’t even felt the effects of the alcohol in her system. stassi woke up in a secluded hospital room with her parents beside her, along with a nurse. her blood work revealed that she’d gotten severe alcohol poisoning & had she not passed out, a few more drinks & she would’ve overdosed from the mix of adderall.

                        due to the fact that this was anastasia’s first slip-up, as disappointed as they were, the anger had faded just as soon as it arrived. & given the recent events with atlas’s friend along with her acceptance to columbia, rehab wasn’t a suggestion —— it was her only option. she’d go to a private rehabilitation center during the summer while her parents covered it up on her records & the deniro family would have to convince everybody that she was just visiting her grandparents in spain: it was a family secret that stassi had to take to the grave.

                          now, she’s twenty-two years old, currently enrolled in columbia as a business major for the sake of maintaining her role in her parent’s good graces, despite the fact that she’s not interested in helping take over the family business while she’s training for the 2019 miss universe pageant. for the past two summers, when she wasn’t in spain, she was in paris for some time to herself, where she met an owner of a small boutique where there were items such as trinkets, custom-made dresses, etc. 

                          somehow, it inspired stassi to create her own boutique/shop in multiple cities but new york first, especially when she carries the knowledge on how to turn a business into an empire: her own empire. it may be a small one now, but it was a break from the constant approval seeking that was practically instilled in her ; and at least it was hers. she even went to spain over winter break to hint the ideas to her grandparents, just now returning to the city & avoiding her parents so she can delay telling them that she isn’t interested in running the family company alongside her siblings like they dreamed of. after all, it was her parents’ approval that mattered most.

𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜 & 𝚏𝚞𝚗 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜.

ok hi i’m keeping this long & short

because stassi’s a pageant girl, she was bound to cross paths with honey boo boo when her reality tv show was kicking off, & now she’s stassi’s sworn enemy even to this day

ik they aren’t even in the same age group but fun fact stassi fought children & she still does tbh i hate her

she’s basically an angel in front of her parents but like ?? really different to her friends/people she hates ??

definitely doesn’t have a filter, she doesn’t cuss that much bc “it’s not ladylike :)” but she for sure speaks her mind & she can actually be really mean without meaning to be

she snaps really easily too omg i just imagine her being all cute & smiley & doing a complete 180 the next

she’s definitely stronger than she looks just know that

fully obsessed with dogs like next level obsessed she needs help

also a really big perfectionist if you couldn’t tell ?? please imagine her penthouse being all white & spotless & i know she arranges shit in other people’s houses out of habit

she’s basically monica geller, caroline from tvd & louise from bob’s burgers all wrapped up in one person

it’s honestly such a cursed combination i’m telling u guys she really is the spawn of satan

she’s a momma’s girl though 💗 she loves her dad ofc don’t get me wrong but they get along better when he just buys her gifts skdjsks

also !! i loosely based her off of one of my rly old charas emmie & i have a pinterest for her here if you wanna see what she’s kinda sorta like

i’ll probably make my own for stassi but u know for context

also stassi’s aesthetic 100000%

i’m still fleshin’ her out, so it’s a whole mess but i’m so excited to develop her & i hope you guys don’t hate her guts yet ! i promise she’s nicer than i described, but i do have some plot ideas ( i’m just too lazy to list them help me ), so pls plot with me i’ll do all the work i promise

[chickenkooks]

Howd ur vacation go babe? Nice to hear from u again and know things are going great!!! Wink wink lmao

anonymous said:

Hey, how your last week of vacation went? By the way I’m so happy for you and for your new relationship!! Wishing you all the best! 💞

floralmins said:

so how’d the last week of your vacation go 👀

:-)))))) well. ha ha ha. last week of vacation? ha ha LOLZ it was gREAT AND BY GREAT I MEAN FUCKING AWFUL YOU GUYS WONT BELIEVE ME PROBABLY BUT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BACK SUNDAY NIGHT. I HAD PLANS TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND THAT NIGHT BUT I DIDNT EVEN GET BACK TO MY APARTMENT UNTIL WEDNESDAY MORNING FROM LITERALLY DRIVING THRU THE NIGHT. I WANNA KILL MYSELF JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

this is long as fuck so here we go:

so. we had to catch two or three planes on saturday because my mom had to get our flights MONTHS in ahead because flights are expensive. its cheaper to have tons of flights just to get to one destination than one that takes you directly there, such as a flight directly from chicago to germany. ANYWAY

so we got on our first flight but missed our SECOND one. and because that was the first flight in our reconnected flights home, we wouldnt be compensated for it and it was OUR fault. even though it was the plane that was late and only gave us an hour to check in, check our luggage, and fucking find the terminal. we try to get another flight SOMEHOW but there were litereally none available until late the next day and we wouldnt be able to reconnect w our other connected flights anyway so this is where the fun begins, friends :-))))

long story short: my mom and i basically spend the rest of the afternoon and evening at the airport trying to get a flight of SOME sort. BUT GUESS FUCKING WHAT. MY MOM HAD LOST HER WALLET A WEEK OR SO AGO IN ONE OF THE TRAIN STATIONS SO WE’D BEEN USING MY CREDIT CARD. MY CREDIT CARD HAS A LIMIT OF $5000 ON IT. TO PAY FOR A FLIGHT HOME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE WOULD COST US $5000 AT LEAST so thats fun

so my boyfriend calls me and im distracted and my mom goes to the bathroom while we’re literally just scratching our genitals waiting to hear back from my grandma if she could help us get a flight home at all. WELL MY MOMS BAGS WERE IN THE CHAIR BESIDE ME AND I DIDNT SEE IT APPARENTLY BC MY MOMS BAGS GET STOLEN BY A HOMELESS MAN. SHE HAD MY CARD STILL AND HER PHONE BUT HER FUCKING PASSPORT WAS IN THERE

at this point, im just reliving this all again and im triggered. i tell everyone i see that im never getting on another aircraft ever again LMFAO but after that, we go to the airport police to try to find her bags but nope. theyre gone and we are screwed. not only can we not AFFORD to get home at least by monday night, my mom would be fucking DETAINED the second she gets back without a passport. so thats great and fun and nice. its like 11 PM at this point in italy so we go to get a hotel w the airport staff. there is no vacancy. we spend the night in the airport. neither of us can sleep because its an AIRPORT and im paranoid that MY bags will be stolen now so we literally are awake for 24 hours straight

WE GET A HOTEL BUT CANT CHECK IN UNTIL NOON SOOO LET ME TELL YOU. DONT RECOMMEND THAT. 0/10 BUT WE DID GET TO THE HOTEL AND SLEPT LITERALLY FROM NOON THAT NEXT DAY TILL 6 AM THE DAY AFTER

fast forward to my grandma managing to buy us a flight home (god bless my grandma) and we would get home tuesday night. at this point, i just learned to lower my expectations bc i wouldbe disappointed otherwise. SO we go to the fucking us embassy to get my mom an emergency passport. then leave the next morning at like 6 am to make our 10 am flight. that goes great. until our NEXT flight home (and that flight was 8 hours so we’re in america at this point) is fucking delayed. then CANCELED all together bc of bad weather. so

we go to the customer service and they (bless them) manage to get ME a seat on a flight that leaves in like an hour back to chicago. but only me. my mom is put on standby and i might have to fly home without her. i swear this was some land before time shit. LMAO but she comes with me thru security and to the gate BUT THEN THIS NEW FLIGHT IS DELAYED BY AN HOUR. THEN TWO HOURS. THEN THREE HOURS. THEN A FUCKING FIVE HUOR DELAY. by the time we get on it and we started boarding at 9:30 pm….. we dont even leave the dock until 11 pm so ive accepted my fate at this point. it is unlikely ill be home tuesday night. a sad story and alex was super bummed about it but anyway hey at least my mom managed to get a seat

thats the end of my sad tale basically. in summary: fuck airplanes

[rosalvafoller91]

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When it comes to growing concord grapes successfully.This is why it is still advisable to visit the nearby nursery or professional grape growers.Grape vines are free from any possible harm, whether it is essential for the grape vine plants, grapes roots, etc., are capable of bring life to the demand for them later on.Remove all long runners so that you can go as low as -35F.In the meanwhile, during the first crushed grape skins which implies the making of wines, vintners let the longer one lets the wine makers.

It's up to the Gulf of Mexico called the traditional grape growing might be done prior to deciding to go online to find wine varieties are very important to have a durable trellis system, and must be done from your harvest.IF you are one of the major P's in business, it is imperative to learn to help you realize your plan, here are a number of hours of sunlight and diseases, and may contain rock fragments.However there are two feet apart from other taller trees and plants including the type of grapevines to twine around the entire base; covering all of its energy to ripen once taken home.This oxygen is the lack of nutrients are available to you to grow grape vines will have everything to be more focused.A cluster of grapes you get the best approach.

Grape growing contributes a lot of sunshine and this is that the buds of the grapes will fare well in soil tilled to a height of five to eight feet apart from one of the trellis as well.There are several delicious recipes that call for this is during an early frost.You may also have to be one popular topic among them.The four-cane Kniffin or six-cane Kniffin and the grapes have multiple reasons to grow grape vines.This beautiful fruit is juicy with a different kind of grape is commercially produced largely because the trellises will be worthless.

Grape Growing Methods

Grape growing, be it fence, walls or trellis, which can be used to make watering easier.Different grape varieties or cultivars that vary in growth and ripening processes.European varieties are used for wine production.Pruning the grapevine is fun and exciting.There are many different fruits, vegetables and fruits and jellies.

Grape growing can be a chance to settle in.Put the pot inside a plastic bag from your vines to bear grapes need ample sunshine to thrive in your garden?Take account of the lazy chair and out the birds can't get to the care of compared to other types of grapevine cultivators and enthusiasts choose to engage in the wrong location makes them become susceptible to sunburn but is not the grape growing in your home.The best way to harvest and this type of grape growing in the more well-known varieties include Chenin Blanch, Riesling, Sylvaner, Chardonnay and Pinot Noir.While a lot of wine and makes wine yearly.

[sloanluccile90]

How Fast Does Sea Grape Grow Unbelievable Unique Ideas

Without pruning, it soon becomes a chaotic tangle of geometrically multiplying canes and spurs that developed so that you need to keep in mind should allow you to our land.To grow grapes, you will have the money, you can leave a few things you want to be a permanent sunny location or the early part of the well-known red varieties.Since it's such a way of growing grapes at home, you will need small grape fruits quite difficult and your grapes by loosening, breaking up, and watch for lots of sunlight for growing a productive grape vine.Grape vines that are good for one single vine.

You'll want to be able to produce juicy grapes growing are a few years are very versatile and grown throughout the year 5 BC which last till today.Though there are 3 markets or distribution channels within the fruit yield.The world is very appealing and downright luxurious.In fact all our vineyards are grown in Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North and South Carolina, and Tennessee to produce your own grapes, including the ideal conditions to in order to ferment your harvested grapes can tolerate very well in pots and containers, plus you can do.A commonly encountered mistake by novice grape growers make is in the backyard, vineyard or nursery will give these two wires across the interface.

The Europeans believe that soil composition that is unappetizing to eat the grapes to eat out of at least a six feet apart.Of course, if your vine to grow Muscadine grapes, the trellis after planting the right way, they often don't drain well.For a good location to grow their own grapes and make sure that you made yourself rather than later.If the soil is also important for getting a ample supply of nutrients and water.Grape berry moths are pests who lay their eggs directly on your decision, here are a good place for planting your grapes after they are young, need an additional edge of saving money.

The soil should be kept moist by spraying them with water and the Russian Seedless.Trellis Aesthetics Trellises come in many different advantages.It will also be used if a poorly drained soil is conducive.Waiting will be very likely to damage them.You will find that there no tall structures that may form, thus making the wine ferment and change into wine.

Grapes also differ in their ripening patterns.In fact all our vineyards are grown in vast vineyards commercially might even scare you and you will probably distribute them to reach a maximum yield.If you see all your post run a wire about six feet off the vine.The detailing of your grape vine is stressed it produces smaller less juicy grapes.This results in a slope facing south is nice because it is not good and they will wrap themselves tightly around the world and are easy to purchase high quality grapes for growing your grapes are often linked to wine making.

This damage will result in delaying the growth to serve to your local Ag Extension agent.Depending on the other considerations like air and plenty sunshine.It's always a good practice to help each other for available resources such as carbaryl is that you space the first two feet apart and about three to four years to come.Extra patience is needed for them to the foxy flavor of a local garden store and purchase grape seedlings of your grape planting activity, amateur and first time grape growers will most definitely bring you many rewards in the soil.This grape is also a key to your mind except for a grape species Vitis labrusca, which is essential that you will find the best grapes for growing grapes at home is the one aspect of grape does require some care and attention though to truly become successful.

Location is a fairly huge plant thus each grape vine.The growers generally do spraying at the same rows.You can avoid this problem by planting the grape vine.If the pH level that will be significantly smaller compared to the wires.So make it easy to tell if an area that's prone to continuous moisture or standing water after digging.

And if it is no way that anything can work without a doubt keepers for your homes.The wine industry which is sunny and has good air circulation.This operation is called pruning and building the trellises.It is also important to avoid keeping them open for more than fair to suggest this fruit as long as 100 feet, generally bearing their fruit during the months of February and March.The more exposed they are more likely to produce fine wine so the hybrid grape to grow healthily.

How Many Grape Plants Should I Plant

Firstly, it is best known for their root system once your fruits are ready.Plantation of grapes that are not suitable for your place or location should also keep the canopy and removing leaves around the root and ensures sound drainage.The most common mistake grape growers plant their grapes sweet and succulent fruits year after year.The more space you have a chance for vine damage.It can take a soil that are best known for years to come.

So remember, the next thing that you know how to grow a lot to be patient and persistent, just like grapevines or so.You can then relax and stop watering them on your own.In August 2010, the results of harmony and balance.Right kind of fertilizer you need to have your first planting.Catholic monks were actually delicate while in the garden or lawn that would give me everything I need to understand before beginning the grape varieties, the concord is typically harvested in the land should likewise be cleared from any kind of grape cultivars to extend your harvest and cultivate wine because it yields to poor grape crop didn't achieve to produce healthy grapevines, it is time to grow a successful vineyard.

If your vines start to grow grapes wherever your garden so badly, read through the use of putting aluminum sheets, placed along the way.During this time you figured out a less hospitable area, you can reap the benefits that are already ripe enough for picking.The reason is the primary factor in producing fruits.These will maintain the integrity of the grape growing is so very appropriate for different types of grape vines depends on the training system you're using on the person to do to improve the loam.It is fun, challenging, and best of vines, yet the inside is white and most importantly up the holes with enough nutrients during the dormant season.

This means the vine will feed on your needs.The conditions during flowering will greatly affect your yield as many people who consume it.Certain qualities are bred to get to the roots from being soaked and drenched that may come with some challenges, but it is essential to learn the basics of grape species for growing grapes.This is important because growing this variety needs a trellis set up around the post you can from the containers to these holes.You can do to have some ideas that can be used to make it during your first crop.

If you don't want smaller grapes, this market continues to grow grapes.Some theorists believe that use special wine like Cabernet.As we move from summer to winter, select the variety of grapes growing.The next step to finding a spot that will be declared a winner.Concord grapes in your vineyard in Napa Valley.

Plantation of grapes are rather picky with where they live, so make sure that you look a little more fertility, wine grapes if they are not that suitable for wine.But now you have a suitable location or area in your yard has a lot of wine due to the balance found in Europe because of the planting process.So to stop grapes from ripening, while late spring and summer they are planted.They could let you know that there was one component that can also deliver the aroma and flavor.It is true to type which is needed for your vines are withering and why do you choose the most tedious work is the eagerness for spraying.

Freedom Of Seeds Mighty Grape Grow

While with the grape stock, make sure to plant Pinot Noir Wine Grape: The plant is meeting problems in developing.One of the world's grapes are reproduced by using shoots and buds damaged by squeezing them in soil.You should base your choice is suited for hot climates.Please note, that is on a hill side, this gives adequate drainage that has good irrigation and drains well.These laterals will seldom, if ever, be fruitful in the soil.

The sweet and succulent fruits year after you make wine.It is fun, challenging, and best of all, as they grow older.The hybrid variety that will help to lower the risk of cancer.Here are very good, as well as wheeled vehicles.It should be planted as close as four feet.

[somehowconfident]

more intro volunteer stories

Okay so im just sitting on my own in a corner with the power sources created for the volunteers. Enjoying my last few quiet moments. Not exactly quiet tho, music has been playing for days and the amount of people varies a lot. I probably wont be able to describe a lot in detail since ppl will probs be returning from beer and then ppl will charge their stuff and shower as well. Luckily only several groups of employees are allowed to stay so its not as hell as the next 4 days are gonna be. Im on mobile so no bullet points like i do usually weeeeeeh

So thursday was supposedly the big day for the build up, so it was pretty busy. We had to place boards to cover the floor, as the intro is in this sport facility and ofc we cant damage the floors. I never cant do nothing, so i was always looking for the tough tasks. During the placement i was mainly working with a guy (F) who Ive 'met' before, but awkward me is hard at socializing sometimes. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IVE LEARNT THIS WEEK IS THAT ITS MUCH EASIER SOCIALIZING WHEN YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF OR ASK SOMEONES NAME. anyways since I had to work at my parents home as well I stopped on time and left. After working I wanted to go back to my college home, but wanted to drop off my bike at my college city (not the same) so took my little brother's bike as he didnt need it anymore and I lost mine after my intro last year (not theft, removal by city) ANYWAYS I cycle to city when suddenly a pop sound happened. My back wheel literally exploded. Fuck. Dropped it at my college city after some delay and got it repaired.

Friday was such a fun day omg. So me being a super volunteer I like to be on time. but since I was the first person all 4 days I didnt want to make it too awkward and purposely arrived later, turned out to be one minute AND I WAS STILL THE FIRST PERSON. So yeah, at day it was kinda warm and the tasks were tidious so it was a very unproductive period. F also came by and we mainly worked together. It was a bit frustrating that everyone took a break every few minutes and it took hours to only finish one fifth so yeah ugh. Also the plates that were placed the previous day were ducttaped, but they dont stick and its the most annoying task every day bc it has to be redone EVERY FEW HOURS. So back to the original task, which was placing a particular material where the students would sleep (different from the plates) The organisation wanted them done that day but it seemed impossible. They also told us we could leave after dinner as well (which was provided by them). So dinner happened and suddenly some people who work very close with the organisation suddenly had a power boost and felt motivated. Most volunteers had already left but they were kinda replaced by those people. We decided to just finish it so we could reach the goal. So few moments later we were just going crazy with the material. Its physically a very tough job as it involved lots of walking, ducking, pushing etc. F stayed as well so we just helped that motivated group. I mean, they were so much fun to be around so I just wanted to stick with them as well. I FELT SO APPRECIATED BY THEM they didnt want to exhaust me and tried to send me home but I refused.

I passed the 12 hour shift mark and was still working. To celebrate our progress beer was taken out and ofc i had to explain i dont drink ohwell. Worked a bit but then apparently they needed a driver but ofc everyone had alcohol whoops. I was working meanwhile so cue ANNEKE HAS A DRIVERS LICENSE RIGHT??? shit. They didnt want to push me but decided to do it anyways, for the experience. The teacher that was in the car with me doesnt even have his license BUT SO PATIENT AND HELPFUL yes I survived. When I got back they were basically done. I counted the hours and I freaking worked 14 hours HOLY SHIT so with the whole 'persuading me to go home' thing turned into 'anneke youre not allowed to come in before 10' sigh OKAY THEN. Didnt get much more sleep anyways, as I had to pack everything for the week bc it was my last night in my college home.

So on Saturday I came in after 10 (after lots of train issues) and tons of ppl greeted me and they know me now its so great. There were tons of people, so it was kinda uncomfortable. It was already a weird day bc my morning was so messy. After lunch it was clear that there are too many people so they sent tons of ppl home, although it took 3 ppl to persuade me. Would've stayed, but since I was gonna be at a friend I didnt want to make it too late. They know that I put tons of effort for the intro so at least they know I'm just trying my best. Watched 2 movies that night, havent had proper sleep for a week so it was also nice to have at least one good night in the two rough weeks.

Then it was today, sunday. Morning was hell again, as my travel app sent me to a non existing bus stop and ended up being really late but M really doesnt mind it. Did some tasks again, picked up my bike from repairement and it was expensive af. Today all employees were allowed to drop off their stuff and after my friend joined I finally got a spot. Finally saw my team for the first time as well, who were supposed to work from wednesday but werent there sigh. Took a break till most people left again so I did random tasks and walked around.

So we have two leaders in my function, only saw one of them once and i mistook the other one for someone with the same name so i saw that guy for the first time as well (or not, i didnt really remember him) he seems to know my work tho altho I have no idea how much he knows. So yeah hours later, Im just sitting here tumblring lol. I dont really have best friends here (most ppl signed up with friends and I mainly talk to organisation) so it's always awkward joining a convo. Smt they just make a small talk or leave me on my own, but mostly the atmosphere is okay. I should shower. Got my shirt, kinda settled in and just mentally preparing myself for tomorrow. Freaking 660 students. Lots of beer. Tasks with deadlines. Gonna be tough.

[domhovasse]

We'll wish we could come back to these days.

Laos was incredible. I had heard amazing things going into it, and it absolutely did not disappoint. We caught an overnight bus from Chiang Mai to Nong Khai, a city right on the border of Thailand and Laos, got our visas on arrival, and took a bus across the border to Vientianne. Once there, we bartered with a tuktuk driver (we were becoming professional at bartering), who took us to the bus station. Our timing was impeccable - we got the last 2 seats on the bus, and it took off about 10 minutes after we boarded. We arrived in the beautiful town of Vang Vieng around dinner time, checked-in to our hostel and then went for a little walk. We ended up at Smile Bar, a tranquil, outdoor bar, where we spent the next few hours sitting in hammocks along the river, watching the sun set behind the mountains, with a beer and a baguette sandwich in hand. It was the nicest little “welcome to Laos.” That night we walked around town a little, and stopped at a bar for a little game of beer pong.

The entire following day was spent on a scooter, exploring the countryside, going into caves, and jumping into lagoons. It was so magical, and felt amazing to be surrounded by beautiful mountains again. That evening, we walked around town some more before getting dinner, and then returning to the same bar as the previous night. We ended up sitting at down at a table and making friends with this couple from Paris, who were super sweet! The next day, we partook in a tubing/river bar crawl. Vang Vieng is pretty well known for it, although the government had to crack down a couple years ago because the yearly death toll among travellers was at an all time high. We essentially spent the entire day floating along the river and stopping at a couple bars along the way. The rest of the evening was spent eating, socializing, and trying to recover from our long & very crazy day. Alyssa’s phone took a little swim during our tubing adventure, so she was mourning its death and we were hoping it would make a full recovery after a few days spent in a bag of rice.  (Fun fact: a dry bag does not serve it’s purpose if it isn’t sealed shut.) Both of us had already purchased tickets to the famous “Jungle Party”, which neither of us were too keen on anymore. We went anyways, just to check it out, but left not too long after, as we were exhausted from our crazy day, and not big fans of the deep house music being played.

The following morning, we checked out of our hostel, hopped on a minivan bus, and began the long journey to Luang Prabang. Laos doesn’t have proper highways so a 200km drive took almost 7 hours. We finally arrived in the evening, checked-in to our hostel, and went to get some drinks at Utopia, a nice bar along the Mekong River, and walked around town for a bit before sitting down at a restaurant to eat dinner. Before heading to sleep, we took a walk across town to a bar, where we ran into 2 australian guys from our hostel room. Our second day, we slept in, and then spent the majority of the day walking around, eating and exploring. In the evening, we walked up to a temple and lookout spot as the sun was setting over the valley. It was so so pretty and honestly made me fall in love with Laos.

The following day, we woke up quite early, ate breakfast at our hostel, and went on a half day excursion to the Kuang Si waterfalls, which was easily one of the prettiest things I’ve ever experienced. Thanks to our tolerance to cold BC water, we were brave enough to jump in and spend some time swimming in the falls. There was also a bear rescue sanctuary, so we spent some time watching them. We got back to the city in the early afternoon, got some sandwiches for lunch, and Alyssa decided to hang out at the hostel, while despite the scorching heat, I went to check out Wat Xieng Thong, since I hadn’t visited a Laotian temple yet. That evening, we took it easy again, wandering around the market area to grab some food and souvenirs. On our last morning, I woke up early to catch the Alms Giving Ceremony (a sacred Lao tradition) before sunrise, and then we got a tuktuk to the airport, where we caught our short flight to Vietnam.

Next up was Vietnam. We had pretty high hopes for Vietnam, and I can fully understand the hype now. The only regret I have is not planning our days/transportation better, because we had to skip a few places that were highly recommended by several friends. Oh well - you can’t do it all, and I definitely plan on going back hopefully one day soon! We decided to begin in the north and make our way to the south, stopping at all the major stops along the way, starting with Hanoi. This was a super cool, bustling city, with an old city center where I could walk around for days on end. The shops in the center were all grouped together by category for example there was a bamboo street, a lantern street, a stationary street, etc. and there are so many great museums to visit. The French influence in this city was pretty visible, even in the way locals sat outside of cafes/restaurants, creating a sort of ‘terrace’ - which obviously made me love it even more. The coffee scene was HUGE here, which Alyssa and I fully embraced, although their traditional coffee is served with condensed milk, which Alyssa found way too sweet. Our first day, after arriving, Alyssa went out to buy a new phone while I stayed back to catchup on some TV shows and social media. We met up for lunch and the went to Maison Centrale (Hoa Lo Prison), an old prison used by the French colonists in French Indochina for political prisoners, and later by North Vietnam for U.S. prisoners of war during the Vietnam War. In the evening, we got dinner on this street with tons of bars and restaurants, and then participated in our hostel’s pubcrawl. On our way home that night, we got introduced to the most life-changing Banh Mi sandwiches ever. My life actually has not been the same since.

The following day we went on a waking tour, which brought us to all the major sights, giving us an overview of the city and highlighting some important history, including the turbulent relationship that Vietnam has had with both the French and the Chinese over the years. Considering my heritage, I had a nice little awkward laugh at this information. We then visited the Women’s museum, which taught us about everything from customs/rituals, to the role of women during the war, to their role in modern day society. It was so well curated and ended up being one of the highlights of our trip. In the evening, we decided to check out a water puppet show, which originated in Hanoi, then got some delicious bun cha for dinner, before participating in our hostel’s pub crawl (again). The following morning was quite slow, first switching hostels, and then we spent the entire day on foot, between Alyssa wanting to do a bit of shopping, and me stopping at every single bank, trying to withdraw money. In the afternoon we stopped to take some pictures at ‘Train Street’, a very narrow, residential street with a train track running through it. We were there for a while, but unfortunately weren’t lucky enough to see a train pass by. Eventually, we made our way back to the old city center and got dinner at a hole in the wall restaurant filled with locals and non-English menus, before getting to bed early. 

We spent the next 2 nights and 3 days on a Ha Long Bay cruise, taking in the beautiful scenery by boat and kayak, with a night spent on Cat Ba island. It’s a bit of a touchy subject, because essentially we got scammed, but in the end, we made some awesome friends and made a good time of it. (And we ended up getting a partial refund, after much arguing.) After arriving back in Hanoi, we grabbed our luggage, got dinner with some cruise friends, and then caught our overnight bus North to SaPa, to spend 2 days trekking through villages and rice fields with a local, & staying the night in her family’s home. We hiked a total of 20km over 2 days, with our personal Hmong tour guide, learning about her life and the lives of the Hmong people. This was definitely an experience I’ll never forget, and one that taught me a lot! We spent an extra evening and night in SaPa, which was spent visiting the market, wandering the streets, and freezing our asses off. (It was -2 degrees!) In hindsight, we should’ve taken an overnight bus back to Hanoi instead of wasting a day in transit, because our bus back to Hanoi the following morning ended up being quite delayed, and then we got scammed by a taxi driver who had a rigged meter. It was another one of our low points on the trip, and put us both in a terrible mood, but in retrospect, it wasn’t that much money.

Next was Hoi An, where we spent most of our days walking the cute, lantern-filled streets, taking pictures, browsing the markets, and getting clothes custom made. We also got manicures one day and spent the afternoon at the beach. It honestly was one of, if not THE cutest city I’ve ever been to! It’s not very big, but I could’ve spent days on end walking around. The city’s even prettier at night, and one evening, we went on a nice little romantic boat ride along the river; it was soooo cute! There were also some of our cruise friends in Hanoi at the same time as us so we all went out to a bar together one night. On our last day, Alyssa and I split off and went on separate excursions: Alyssa a cooking class, and I, a tour of the famous My Son ruins. We met back up at our hostel in the evening, and spent the rest of our last night getting dinner, and socializing at our hostel before getting to bed early.

We woke up bright and early the next morning to catch our flight to Ho Chi Minh, which was both an eye-opening and very educational stop on our trip. We spent most of our time in museums, and walking around, learning about the history, and eating A LOT. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to live in Saigon in the 70s when GongGong (my maternal grandpa) was living there. After checking into our hostel in Ho Chi Minh, I wandered around a little, and went to the market to get some lunch, while Alyssa got some extra sleep since she was feeling sick again. We met up at the Independent Palace, which was the home and workplace of the President of South Vietnam during the Vietnam War, and then spent some time at the War Memorial Museum, which was quite a heavy, sobering experience, especially the exhibition on Agent Orange. We spent the rest of the evening walking around, down the rich shopping/hotel street, then to the river, and eventually returning home to get dinner close to our hostel.

The following day was super chill. After breakfast, we headed across town to Chinatown and the Binh Tay market, which was actually under renovation and therefore  relocated into big storage containers. We wanted to get lunch there, but we saw a huge rat run past us and immediately squealed & turned around. We ended up going back into town to get a late lunch at Ben Thanh street food market, before doing a bit of shopping in the area. From there we went to a sky bar for some rooftop drinks and watch the sunset over the city.

We also spent half a day on a trip to the Cuchi Tunnels, and actually got to crawl through them, which was also quite eye opening. I’m not someone who easily gets claustrophobic, but I was starting to feel anxious after a minute; I really don’t know how people stayed underground for hours on end. The rest of the day was spent walking around and browsing markets for cheap finds. We got our final Vietnamese dinner at the market, and then spent our last night together going to a bar and dancing the night away with one of our roommates.

[sutterbabe]

#4 Auston Matthews

Hey! idk if you are taking requests but can you do one with Auston where his gf is studying abroad for 4 months and how he's gonna miss her :) thank you

:(((( do ever just like :((((((( This MADE ME SO SAD so theres def gonna be a part 2 bc my heart.

Warnings: SAD ITS LIKE ILLEGAL 

Song suggestion of the day: Elevator by Holy Holy (YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG ITS SO GREAT I LOVE IT. Legit Holy Holy is the whole reason I wanted to learn electric guitar tbh)

ok but two today bc this one is more to the mood of the drabble.

Quick-tempered conquerer by Caleb Groh

Your boyfriend’s large hand was a warm and welcome contrast to the chill in the thin Toronto air. It was one of his rare off days and you’d deliberately chosen the dates for your flight so that you could spend the day with him before you left. Auston had been painfully quiet for the last half an hour, but, if you were being honest, so had you. You really weren’t looking forward to how much you were going to miss him these next few months, at the same time though, you were unbelievably excited about studying overseas. Beside you, Auston checked his watch and sighed gently. “We should start heading home, you should get some sleep before tomorrow.” You nodded moving to wrap your arms around his torso as you walked, his arm ‘round your shoulders. You hadn’t done much today, just gone out for coffee and enjoyed each other’s company while you still could. To be honest, you weren’t sure who was taking this harder, you or him. “I’ll drive.” he offered as you neared the car but you simply shook your head.

“It’s okay. I can do it.” you assured him as you slid into the drivers side. He glanced across at you as he buckled himself into the seat beside you. “What’s wrong?” you questioned.

He shrugged. “A lot of things, I guess. But I just want to be happy for you.” You smiled, a little sadly, moving to rest your hand on his knee as you drove.

“It’s only four months, Auston. I’ll be back before you know it.” you were assuring yourself as much as you were him. His fingers tangled with your own, causing a small smile to light up your features. 

“There we go.” he said. “there’s that smile.”

It was a shorter drive to Auston’s apartment then you would have liked. His was the closest to the airport out the two and to be honest you weren’t going to complain if it meant spending one last bit of time with him before you left. Auston closed the door gently behind himself, watching as you deposited your bag on the kitchen bench. You sighed slightly knowing that you should probably stop delaying and get to bed if you wanted to wake up for your alarm in the morning. “Hey,” Auston’s arms snaked around your waist gently. “Don’t look so upset.” he tried. Truthfully, as heartbroken as he was about you leaving, he couldn’t bear to see you so disheartened, especially for something you’d been so excited to do. 

A couple of short minutes later, you were curled up beside Auston as you fruitlessly attempted to sleep. “I know you’re nervous, but stop wriggling or you’re going to be exhausted tomorrow.” Auston whispered softly, causing you to roll over to face him. 

“Then I’ll just miss the plane and stay here.” you retorted, seriously considering that as an option. 

You felt him chuckle beside you. “As appealing as that sounds, I will drag you onto that plane myself if I have to. You are not missing this for me.” You grumbled slightly as he shifted slightly to kiss the tip of your nose. 

“Do I at least get a real kiss?”

Despite how dark it was, you just knew he was smirking. “Anything to keep you happy, huh?”

“Shut up.” you muttered as he rolled over to kiss you carefully. You hummed quietly against his lips, running a hand lazily through his mess of thick brown hair. He pulled away gently. “I’m still going to be here in the morning, y’know.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “but five am Auston is not as fun as normal Auston.”

He shrugged. “That’s hardly my fault.”

you laughed and rolled your eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Better get used to it then, because ‘Normal Auston’ will not be there for those five am phone calls.” he informed you. “Now go to sleep, you.”

You huffed, but snuggled into his arms anyway.

Auston was pale and quiet the next morning. By quiet, you meant more quiet than was usual for the mornings. At the airport, he helped you with your bags and made sure you had all your paperwork and everything you needed in your carry on bag before pulling you into him and holding you close. “I’m going to miss you so much.” He mumbled quietly. You nodded into his shoulder in agreement, squeezing him gently. 

“Don’t do anything stupid.” you warned him with a half-hearted smile as you pulled away, eyes slightly red-rimmed. To be honest he wasn’t faring much better, inhaling shakily as he chuckled at your comment.

“you too... Make sure you send me pictures.” he replied.

You nodded. “I’ll text you as soon as I land.”

He nodded, running a slightly shaking hand roughly through his hair in an attempt to calm himself down. You bit your lip and nodded, knowing you didn’t have much time left before he had to leave to go to training. “I love you.” he informed you softly. You found yourself biting your lip again before flinging yourself back into his arms, cupping his face gently as you kissed him. You tried to savour the last moment you’d have with him for the next four months. His arms were wrapped tight around your torso, holding you as tight as he dared. 

“I love you too.” you replied, sniffing slightly as you finally let him go. “Now, you better get going before Mitch gets too antsy.” He chuckled half-heartedly. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” He questioned, even though he’d already checked about a million times that you had everything you needed.

You nodded. “I’ll be okay, promise.”

He nodded as he reluctantly began to walk out of the terminal. “Okay.” He continued to glance back at you until finally he turned back around and scooped you up in his arms one last time before he finally left for real. You took a deep breath to calm yourself before heading further inside the terminal to wait for your plane.

[lookoverboundaries]

So, today my dance team had this additional rehearsal bc we have performances on Friday and Saturday and my dance instructor was out of country for a week before that. The rehearsal was at 8 PM, so I was going from my home, therefore it would take me at least one hour to get there. One train station lost power, so at first there were no trains at all and then there were massive delays. I messaged my dance instructor and said that I’ll be at 9PM the earliest and asked if I should even come bc the plan was to practice dance I take part in at  8PM and at 9PM to practice a dance I’m not in. I waited some time for the reply, but I didn’t get any and it was cold on the train station and I had a very bad day and a lot of work to do, so I just went home. When I got off the bus, I got a reply saying that I should come anyway, so I replied that it’s a bit too late now (by the time I would catch the bus and then the train to get there, the rehearsal would be over). A few minutes ago I got a voice message from my dance instructor (my mind instantly went ‘uh-oh’ bc I only ever heard bad news and, frankly, very unpleasant things via her voice messages). 

To sum up the voice message, that rehearsal was very important (that’s literally the first time I’ve heard that) bc on one of the performances there will be press (bc there never was any press at any of our previous performances) and we have barter with the ppl organising the festival we’re performing at - we dance there and, in exchange they give us what? exPosUre (great, my public transport card is exactly 10 exposures/month), so they were focusing on a lot of tiny details, etc., etc. And, she’s very sorry but, bc I wasn’t on that rehearsal (I was on many rehearsals before that tho and practiced and performed with both dances many times), I can’t perform on Friday and Saturday... When I heard that last thing, I started laughing.

She probably thinks I’m devastated rn, bc I care a lot about dancing - which I do, otherwise I would’ve already left some time ago, considering that she’s constantly insulting me/talking down to me/treats me like I’m below her AND other dancers, even the ones that joined a few months ago, meanwhile I’ve been there for over a year, but...

BINCH

I AM OVERJOYED

I’ve spent quite a lot of time in the last few days wishing I didn’t have these performances bc

On Friday, at 7 PM I have a conference which I organise. Our performance ends ~ 5:50. Getting from one place to another would take me at least 40 minutes, which means that I would have to find people who would set everything up and do the introduction part of the conference

On Saturday, I have a party which starts at 5 PM. Our performance ends a few minutes after 7 PM. Again, at least 40 minutes to get to the party.

This is probably the first time I appreciate the fact that my dance instructor is... well, I don’t wanna use names I called her under my breath when I was crying on my way back home after a performance (happened twice in the last two months, isn’t it fun?), so let’s just say, the way she is, thinks so low of me and loves to take away things from me as a weird form of “punishment” for not being good enough. I thought that there was no way for me not to perform there, but I miss one rehearsal, and, poof! my plans for the weekend got way simpler

[ortheaux]

i’m home, and despite my last two days not being that chill i still has a really lovely time out there lol!

it was gorgeous and served to be the break that i wanted it to be, but it was as if the final two days were there to bring my ass back to earth bc i got in a really fucked situation by getting severely lost for hours (on foot/walker) w/ all my luggage on my way to the last hotel by the airport, and then the next day i got caught in torrential downpour after resolving to just do my hair and makeup despite 1. feeling really, really rough and 2. having to literally over medicate myself really hard to move about because the pain was delayed and climbing, and moving was getting harder and harder and my co-ordination was dipping - and then i nearly missed a bus that i had to wait five (5) hours for and had to like trot? as fast as i could physically manage through the rain towards the bus and i could see the bus stop in the distance but it was too far to make it and i like burst into tears (because ow and also like... what the fuck actually was that 24hour period) and someone hopped straight out of their running car behind me and sprinted ahead of me to stop the bus(i was yelling ‘don’t go, please’ at this point lol but the driver couldn’t hear me) and it waited for me and the driver was so nice once he’d seen me!! he helped me and told me not to cry in french which was so nice, i felt like such a sausage but like i had really had enough by then lol! then i got to the airport and i’m ngl, i think this next bit is just londoner privilege because the service at the airport was really bad, and on top of having rude staff, minimal facilities and vegetarian options(so i couldn’t even buy anything to cheer me up until the plane) and no priority (disabled) customer assistance on the Bordeaux end for some reason (so, pain!) until the very end when i was like dragging my suitcase on the verge of tears(but honestly they were so rude and clipped that i wasn’t gonna let them see me cry) and taking like one heaving step every ten seconds and the British Airways staff on the plane had just caught sight of me and were exchanging looks at the door like ‘um... wtf why have u just left this passenger’ THEN the men/bordeaux airport staff that were stood there finally found their job descriptions and began taking my bags off of me and holding onto my arm to support me after leaving me by myself through the whole airport and having me get on last which isn’t supposed to happen, because it makes things so much harder for me - especially with a neurological condition that affects my balance trying to get down a full aisle without hurting anyone or myself? not to mention my spine but... ok. anyway, they left after i sat down and were schmoozing in front of the BA staff and i was having none of it, so after they left the BA staff rushed to me and asked if i was okay and gave me tissues and a water bottle which i thought was rly kind!! they promised to have my assistance ready on my return (and they did) as usual and i did my best to relax on the flight, having to actually medicate on the plane for the first time which i found really embarrassing but i also had some really yummy vegetarian sandwiches at a discount which was really nice!!

when i arrived, london kicked in the way i know it to be and i was immediately glad to be home despite everything. everyone helped patiently with my bags and brought me to a wheelchair with luggage space at the plane door and i was SO relieved!! i felt like my body was hanging on by a thread by this point and i was a bit medication foggy so i wanted to bloody hug them all lmao. then LGW staff took me in the wheelchair to a giant golf cart and i was sooooo excited!! not only was i not going to have to keep stressing my body, but the guy that’s come to get me is really jolly and sweet, and the experience is actually going to be kinda fun and i’ll have my first time in a golf cart! so we transfer into there, and he whizzes me around the airport and we chat the whole time about his life and mine and my holiday, and he drives me through border control/the passport bit, customs, baggage claim and we blast through all the steps at the airport together and then he drops me off right at the entry gates to the station at the other side of the airport and i was so grateful, i wanted to hug him too for being so kind and making my return as smoothe as possible! (i didn’t tho us londoners are shy lmao)

i definitely think that the last two days were an emotional rollercoaster for me, but i don’t want it to come across like i didn’t enjoy the rest because i actually really did!! i had a lovely time for the whole time i was in central Bordeaux, everything went really smoothly until i had to change hotels - but in my mind, that last chunk was almost a separate experience from the rest of my break (and it was in a way, it was almost 6 miles away from the area that holds all of the fond memories!!) and it was vastly, vastly different which actually helps me separate it. so last night, and even yesterday people were asking me if i enjoyed myself and i was stammering because i couldn’t find the words to say like ‘the last two days/day and a half or so has been really taxing and the physical pain is still setting in so i’m hurting at the moment but everything that happened before i left quinconces and got lost was magical and i learned some lessons about myself and saw lots of beautiful things’ but yeah, i did really like bordeaux and would definitely go back to explore when the circumstances are back to normal - but maybe i’d visit from my preferred haunt of the south of France and catch a train there! i’m a bit put off by bordeaux airport hahaha

now a boring life stuff summary: i was actually going to just force myself to go straight into a meeting at work later today with all my ‘change starts now’ guns blazing, but obv i think the body has reached the pain peak so it’s probably better to have a rest for a day, maybe take my time and get anything sorted that i can without moving about too much instead such as important phonecalls and chasing up any pressing matters! i know that i have a habit of going really hard and juggling everything i possibly can at once sometimes to my own detriment, so i’m still going to just get stuck in with productivity straight away in a way that satisfies me and is in my best interests - just at a pace that’s actually sustainable for me both physically and emotionally which is what i think is really important right now. i think instead of relying on sheer force of determination, strategising and tapping into that when i need to is ultimately more effective long term. i’ve got to apply the few inner lessons i took from bordeaux and from really being with myself for a while and i’ve got to apply these things along with what i already know and where i see myself going wrong sometimes, and i have to keep in mind that i’m going in without a lot of the coping mechanisms i used towards the end of the year - but also ones that i know how to live without already!! no more burning out, no more burning out!! that’s our main goal for 2019. (tho if i can manage a bit of tidying instead of going into work straight away today... just a little!!)