#getting wool is a pain in my ass so he’s made of different types

[dreamsb0u]

Oh yeah I made him a few days ago

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Horse info 101

A horse girl’s guide to the basics for fic writing with an important and lively horse involved:

This got kinda long I’m kinda sorry but not at all lol 

There's three basic gaits (speeds with different patterns of hoof-fall/leg movements

Walking is the slowest and is a four beat gait, meaning each foot hits the ground at a different time. Usually the same pace as a walking human when the horse is calm. Some breeds can walk HELLA fast though. Most horses will fill the same spot/hole where their front hoof was with their back hoof on the same side. If they overstep they clip their fetlock (joint lookin bit above the hoof) or pastern (bit between the hoof and fetlock) and can injure themselves. 

Now trotting. The middle gait, a person can jog next to a trot at a comfortable pace but if you push them a little horses can trot faster than your average HS track endurance athlete. Once again some breeds can trot HELLA fast. This is a two beat gait in that two diagonally opposite legs are moving in unison. In some english saddles (I’ll get into that later if we have class time) it’s easier to post while the horse is trotting rather than sit for the gait. That just means you stand up in the irons (stirrups on an english saddle, we’ll also cover that later) at the same time that one of the front legs moves forward. 

Also, see how the trotting horse’s head looks? That’s how they travel when they’re relaxed and attentive. The tucked head thing you see Roach doing is because there’s tension on the reigns and Henry learned to ride for an english seat not a western pleasure seat (might get into those but they’re really not important)

Time for the Canter/Lope. This is a three beat gait so that means two legs are moving in unison and the other two are not. Horses canter/lope fast. This is the go-time gait. Some performance/dressage horses are trained to canter extremely slow but if we’re talking transportation trained horses they’re not gonna be that kind of slow. Your average human is not gonna be able to keep up with this for long if at all. This varies in speed too. There's a rather casual canter seen in the gif directly below, then below that is the balls to the wall canter/lope that most horse people just refer to as a run. That’s as fast as they can go.

Basic tack names

Halter + Lead/Lead Rope - these can be made of rope, leather, nylon (more modern) but the halter is generally used for leading and tying.

Bridle - this is the one that you use while you ride, it holds the bit in their mouth. There’s millions of different types of bridles but they’re usually made out of leather even now. sometimes you get rope/nylon ones but I don’t trust them.

Reins - connect to the bit and you use them to steer and control speed. Horses trained in western or one handed riding will ‘neck rein’ which means if you move your hand to the right and the left rein brushes their neck they will move to the right.

Bit - the metal piece in the horses mouth. most english riding bits are broken (joint in the middle) and most western ones are solid. there’s a gap behind the horse’s front teeth and that’s where the metal sits. Some horses have smaller mouths than others and do better with solid bits because the ‘broken’ ones will hit the top of their mouth and hurt. There’s also things called ‘shanks’ on some bits which are just longer pieces of metal that attach to the sides of the pieces in their mouth and point downward. This gives the rider more leverage and makes any tug on the reins stronger. (google “Horse bit shank” if this doesn’t make sense)

Saddle - you sit in it. simple right? wrong. There’s two main types of saddles, Western - with the horn like you see in the running gif, and English- the loping gif without the horn. The saddles used in the Witcher look like the pre-english saddle versions but the basic parts you need to know are the same. The part where you ass goes? that’s the seat. the part right in front of your crotch? That’s the pomel. that’s your ‘oh shit handle’ if anything goes screwy (other than the mane). The part that sticks up and keeps your ass in place? That’s the cantle. I like western saddles SO MUCH MORE but i also grew up mainly riding western so im biased. 

Stirrups/Irons - stirrups and irons are where your feet go. In western saddles they’re called stirrups and they’ve got wider decorative leather flaps (called fenders, also originally added to protect trousers/legs from the horse sweat and the buckles of the cinch) and on english saddles they’re called irons because they are usually made of iron and rather slim. Geralt’s irons look pretty similar to modern ones, slim leather straps, minimal iron (or steel or any other strong metal really). Traditional english riders have knee high boots like you see in regency costumes which removes the need for the fenders like on western saddles. 

Cinch/girth - this is what keeps the saddles on. You take a strap and attach it to one side of the saddle, run it under the belly right behind their front legs and attach it to the other side. Its usually made of a strong fabric with wool or some kind of softer lining for western riding. English riding uses a leather one most of the time though this horse girl hates them because they’re harder to cinch up. English saddles use buckles while Western saddles use another leather strap to run through the chinch/girth buckle and you either tie it off or use it like a belt. 

Chest strap - this keeps the saddle from sliding backwards. It’s attached to both sides of the saddle by buckles and between the front legs its attached to the cinch/girth. this is pretty universal but not always used. Geralt uses one though. 

Saddle pad - goes under the saddle to protect the baby’s back and whithers (spot where the neck meets the back and the mane ends)

Tacking up and untacking takes time. This is usually 5-10 minutes when done at a leisure pace and done right.

Basic grooming

Brush down before tacking up - you don’t want stuff chaffing the pony while you ride

brush after untacking- helps clear skin of irritants and feels nice

Shedding scraper/curry comb to get rid of shedding hair - if you want a pic of these just google them I think I’m close to the pic limit for my post. 

HOOF PICK - keep the baby's feet clean and clear if rocks so they don't bruise but also so nothing get infected

Yes, plz brush their mane it gets MATTED - a hairbrush works but a wide tooth comb is best

Horses roll to itch their backs and clean off, sounds counterintuitive with the dirt but it works

Shaving a little spot for the bridle to sit is pretty modern but it's easier for everyone involved

Horse Colors- guys roach is not brown she’s a chestnut color

The only thing I have to add to this is that the “Leopard” one is called “appaloosa” in the US at least, and “Pinto” is also reffered to as “Paint” and there’s all sorts of different patterns that you can see. also i want a buckskin so bad. yes i was obsessed with Spirit as a child why do you ask?

Travel care of your babies

Horses CAN and have subsisted off roadside grasses and grazing at night BUT it's good for them to get a lil something extra ESPECIALLY if you’re keeping them in a stall at night where they can’t graze.

Hay and grains like cracked wheat, oats, barley and the like are commonly found in horse feed. Also a lil drizzle of molasses is chock full of calories and all my horses LOVE the taste.

also while we’re talking food: some horses cant keep all the juice/bits in their mouth when they eat apples (we fondly call it making applesauce) or other treats/veg. Yes it gets all over your hand, yeah its kinda gross, but there’s worse things.

Shoes. Babe's need horse shoes. Especially if they're walking over rocks and roads.

Throwing a shoe (when it comes off on accident) is painful sometimes and if left un-dealt with can affect their joints and spine. Imagine walking around in one heeled shoe and one athletic shoe all day. Ow.

On that note though, on lighter travel seasons it's nice to give their hooves a break from shoes (also cheaper)

Horse moods:

horse mood ear chart here: I cant add much tbh

If a horse is comfortable/happy/relaxed they will ‘chew’ on nothing. Just kina a little lip smack type deal. My horse’s bottom lip would hang a couple centimeters below his top one when he was relaxed and I would put my chapstick in it while I fussed with other things.

When a horse is uncomfrotable/scared/tense their lips get sealed tight. I call it ‘fish butt lips’ bc they’re watertight and NOTHING is getting in there. 

Stamping hooves can be a few things. Antsy and ready to roll, nervous, deadass scared, or playful/excited. 

A full whinny is communication - saying hi, warning, scared, etc.

the really soft whinny is called a nicker and its my favorite sound okay? that’s little soft communication and its usually reserved for times when they’re comfortable.

When they’re really relaxed they’ll cock one of their back legs kinda how we shift our weight to one hip. 

general fun facts:

Some horses fake limp when they don’t want to work bc they are lazy and smart and realize their person will get off and check them out and maybe even give them a rest. 

You do a preliminary leg injury test by running your hands slowly over their legs and checking for hot spots - inflammation caused by injury is warm

Basic horse saftey is never stand directly in front of the horse if theres a possibility of spooking, if you’re gonna walk behind them walk out of reach of their hooves or right up against that ass. If they cant get a good wind up it wont do as much damage (on that note though I rode/trained horses for 18 years and was only kicked once by a foal). 

It’s kinda common sense not to walk/sidestep between your horses legs and under their belly but we do it all the time bc its a trust thing? adrenaline? its fun?

laying on your horse’s back sans saddle, and facing their butt is so nice okay, that ass is soft and cushy and perfect for a nap. I miss laying on my horses while they ate like this every damn day. 

Horses can sense your moods. Not unlike the whole ‘witchers smelling you’ thing. They can feel a difference in the tension on the reins and in your posture when you’re tense or relaxed.

Some horses will take care of their riders, some are absolute shits and push the limits for funsies. Some horses will only behave for people they’re used to too. Some horses have trauma from being mistreated and will have triggers kinda like people do. We had a horse who would freak the fuck out if anyone walked around with a red had but as soon as you took it off she was the most level headed horse we had.

A good portion of horses (Who aren’t scared of children) will behave better with kiddos or novice riders because they feel they’re nervous.

If they hurt while they’re moving they usually limp but sometimes they’ll buck. It’s their defense mechanism. 

Horses can’t sleep for too long laying down because their body weight will collapse their lungs. Most horses sleep standing up.

They can sit like a dog and it’s hella cute. 

Stung by bees? Most horses will take off at a dead sprint bucking and hopping unless you’ve done a lot of trust work/training with them

They also run and jump and buck and rear to play.

If theres two horses in a pasture together one will chew at the other’s whithers (or anywhere else) to ask them to scratch them the same way. its very cute and they sometimes try this with people.

horses hug. I cry. 

the whole deal with the rider/horse relationship is it’s a mutual trust you’re building. They let you sit on their back and do weird shit and you trust them not to throw you.  

Thank you for coming to class today! If there’s any questions feel free to message me! I’m not kidding I wanna answer your questions and I miss my horses so this is fun for me.

@elliestormfound​ here it is boo! lol 

[thebounty]

Incompatible (Mandalorian x Hunter!Jedi!F Reader)

Chapter Two: This isn’t too bad, right?

Word Count: 6.4k

Warnings: tension, angst, nightmares, violence, soft Mando for a bit, soft reader for a bit, grammar mistakes most likely. I think that’s it!

A/N: I hope you all enjoy chapter two! I’m still on the fence about if I like it or not, but that could just be me. Feedback is always welcomed! Enjoy :)

Hyperspace was something else. No matter how many times you’ve gazed upon the fast-moving stars, it never bored you. It was calming even though you were literally traveling past thousands of planets at once. You could get so lost in thought while watching them go by, it was a type of Zen you’ve never experienced anywhere else. Not even with your family.

Glancing down at the tracking pad on the counsel, you read that you still had at least seven hours until you reached Voss. You ran a hand over your face and rubbed your eyes. You were exhausted, but you did not want to fall asleep. Partly because you didn’t know if Mando was going to use the com to call you while you slept for something, or just to annoy you. The latter seemed more likely. However, the overall factor of not wanting to sleep with the nightmares that sure to come.

Great. Always something to worry about, huh?

Groaning you slumped even further into your chair with your legs sprawled out in front of you, your wool socks grazed the hard paneling of the floor sending goosebumps up your legs. With a few pops and cracks on your back, you knew your body needed some rest. Your eyelids surely felt like steel as they began to flutter closed. You couldn’t help yourself as you drifted off to sleep a few minutes later.

The Mandalorian was in a similar state as you. Not wanting to sleep for various reasons as well. He did not have nightmares to worry about, but he was always on high alert. Plus, hyperspace was a huge escape for him, to just be and think. He knew that Voss was still extremely far away, so he busied himself. Stepping out of the pilots chair he made is way down the short hallway to the ladder and descended down to the hull of the Razor Crest.

It was a relatively big space, holding everything he needed. Small sleeping quarters, a small fresher, some cargo boxes, an armory, and his carbonite chamber. There wasn’t anything down here he would call a kitchen per say, but he had a few travels sized machinery he used as a makeshift kitchen set, like a portable microwave and a small stove top…thing. He wasn’t particular when it came to a home-made meal or rations. He wasn’t a cook at all, so he normally opted for the rations.

He turned towards his armory and pressed a few buttons before it sprung open, revealing many guns, knives, and various other kinds of weaponry. He had to admit, it was quite extensive. The number of weapons he had would be scary to anyone who weren’t Mandalorian. He took out the most recent ones he used and sat down on the nearest cargo box and began cleaning the blasters and knives. Using a worn-out rag, he cleaned every surface he could find that was dull or needed a polish. It was, soothing for him, almost as soothing as hyperspace. Most of the time his thoughts were flooded with a specific bounty hunter, so he used cleaning as his escape when hyperspace got boring. Now, he didn’t know what to do, since he is being forced to work with her now. Cleaning his weapons now, he didn’t feel his thoughts retreating from you.

“Kriff.” Mando muttered under his breath, taking out some of his frustrations on a hard blemish upon his blaster.

He was still coming to terms with how he felt about the matter. There was an emotion he couldn’t quite place, and it bothered him. His chest tightened whenever he looked into your eyes, those fierce and determined eyes. He hasn’t seen you smile often, or laugh around him, considering he was a pain in the ass towards you. He didn’t know what else to be. Mando wasn’t the best at expressing his emotions, and whatever this emotion was exactly, it didn’t feel like the one to verbally show.

You are, entrancing to him. You are insanely skilled with a dagger, blaster, and fighting in general. Your style of fighting was interesting as well, you move so quick and sly, like a loth cat he supposed. Mando recalls a time when you two pared once, he lost of course, that’s why he’s only pared with you once before. However, he loved to watch you when you fought other people, he could never take his eyes off of you when you did. He was thankful in those situations for his helmet, blocking his gaze upon you at all times. He wondered if you ever thought what he looked like under the helmet.

Of course you don’t.

He shook his head out of his thoughts when his hands stopped momentarily after homing in on a low beeping noise coming from the cockpit, instantly he knew it was the com link.

You were calling him?

Instinctively, he shot up and climbed up the latter in only a few seconds. A few hours must have passed because his back ached once he stood up from his hunched position. The door of the cockpit flew open to reveal the sound of the com link beeping at a low tone very rapidly. This only happened when the line on the other end was picking up some distress signal, or any sound of distress.

He frowned and tilted his head, not understanding what sounds of distress it could be picking up since the both of you were in hyperspace. He sat down and twirled around in his chair, hesitating before clicking the button of the com link. His blood went cold hearing a scream on the other end, knowing for certain it was you. He didn’t understand where this sudden act of care came in, he could easily press a button on the com and ignore it. However, the seemingly dense Mandalorian always let his guard down around you, but because of that, he feared it.

Mando said your name quickly but there was no answer just a few labored breaths on your end, causing him to jump into fight or flight mode instantly, gripping the com in his hand.

“Hey, is everything okay? Are you alright? What’s going on?” Mando spoke rather urgently into the communication line, hoping that you could hear him too. Thankfully, there was an emergency button to turn off your mute to him since you did press it before takeoff. You were mumbling something, but it was hardly loud enough to be coherent. His heart was hammering in his chest, he didn’t understand what was going on with you. He feared something happened to your ship, he hoped that whatever it was he could help fix over the communicator.

“Please, d-don’t kill them…my moon.” You sobbed clutching onto your tunic in your sleep. Mando knew then that you were having a nightmare, maybe even a night terror. It seemed terrible regardless. The sounds of your screams were vibrating his helmet. He had no clue what to do, especially being so far away from you, quite literally.

“Hey, listen to me, I hope you can hear me. You have to wake up.” Mando spoke loudly into the com. In all honesty, he had no idea if this was going to work. This was all new territory for him. He has never had to think about someone else’s needs before his own, let alone try to get them to wake up from a nightmare through a kriffing com link.

“Can you hear me? You’re having a nightmare. You need to wake up!” Mando yelled into the com line, uttering your name a few times before he heard a large gasp and some labored breaths after. You woke up with a start, your chest feeling as though Jabba the Hutt himself was sitting on it and feeling the nail marks in the leather that wrapped around your seat at your fingertips. You scrambled to your feet, feeling more discomfort than the last few times you’ve experienced nightmares. They have always been the same, but this time there was a different voice present. Something familiar-

“Hey, can you hear me? Are you awake? Are you okay?” You heard it again, but this time you knew who it was based on the blinking red light of the com link. You groaned running a hand through your semi-damp hair, probably from sweating. Guilt and dread made their way through your chest. You thanked the maker that he couldn’t see your face, it was probably red and soaked with tears. Your hair was a mess also, which added to the mentally ill look.

Great, he heard you panic. That’s- that’s, annoying.

“Yes. I’m fine.” You hissed before shutting off the com link entirely. You sat back down in your chair, finally coming down from the adrenaline rush you had minutes before. You were so embarrassed. He had to wake you up because of a nightmare, you never felt so childish in your whole life. On the one hand, there was no way you were going to shake this ‘good deed’ off of him for the entire duration of this job you two were quested to do. The Mandalorian on the other hand was speechless. He clutched the com in his hand before tossing it across the cockpit with a large grunt. He was fuming. How could he let his guard down so quickly? He needed to wake up before he made a fool of himself.

“Dang farrick! You di’kutla (you idiot)! How heartless could she possibly be? I just woke her up from a nightmare!? How ungrateful-” He rambled while pacing the cockpit floor. With a shake of his head, he all but jumped down the ladder to the hull to continue what he was doing before he puts a blaster hole in the nearest wall.

You didn’t need the force to tell you that the Mandalorian was fuming. You didn’t know what else to tell him.

“Oh yeah, thanks for invading my privacy of sleeping. Hey, yeah, let’s be friends now that you know nightmares haunt my dreams.”

You screamed of frustration before kicking your chair. Immediately regretting it when pain shot up your shin almost forcing you to sit back down again. To be completely honest, you didn’t know of any alternative scenario for the tin can after all, because you most likely would have done the same thing. However, you were in no hurry to apologize to him now after causing a scene.

These next few hours were going to be a pain.

  Coming up on Voss you were greeted with the familiar yellowish atmosphere as you approached. The sky wasn’t necessarily foggy, but it was dense, and the color didn’t add to the fact that it was hard to distinguish where there was a break in the forest to park not only your ship but Mando’s as well. You haven’t heard a peep form him since you cut him off on the com link earlier, but you didn’t mind. It allowed you enough time to figure out what you were going to even talk about when you landed, or what an initial game plan would be for you two.

After what felt like ages, you both landed in a decently open area. You scanned the area upon landing and after reading the map you were about a day walk to the city and maybe a few miles from The Nightmare Lands, so that was great.

Mando parked and shut down his ship before advancing into his cot to gather anything he needed from there. It wasn’t much since he didn’t change clothes often, especially in front of others, so he was glad that he was wearing a new pair of fresh clothes. Descending into the hull, he slung his rifle over his shoulders, holstered his blaster, and made sure his vibroblade was in his boot. After stuffing his relatively small pack with the fracking fob and some rations, he pressed the button to open the ramp of his ship.

A gust of wind made its way through the hull causing him to stumble back a few steps. After gaining his bearings, he made his way onto the planet floor. It was relatively warm, pretty foggy, and just dense. He’s seen worse for sure, however being here with another person, just made it a tad more unlikeable. He scanned the area with his helmet before taking a few steps and sitting on a nearby log. Signing as he slumped down, he grumbled under his breath.

“Enteyor iviin’yc dala. (be fast woman).”

He was definitely wrong.

You put your ship on ground defense mode first thing before climbing down to the small hull of your ship to gather anything you needed. Landing on the floor you grabbed your backpack before folding in some extra clothes and a few rations to last you at least three days. Hopefully, this didn’t take that long. You were…hopeful about this bounty. You’ve never taken down a gang before though, that’s why you were strictly remaining just that, hopeful.

You were dragging your ‘getting ready’ for as long as you could, just to tease the Mandalorian a bit, but also for the fact that you did not want to confront him about your nightmare just yet. You strapped your lightsaber to your back after taking it out of its hiding place, which was a small sliver of metal that wasn’t attached to the hull of your ship. You pulled your cloak over your shoulders and tied it in the front of your neck and slipped your black gloves on before bracing yourself as you pressed the button to lower the ramp with a loud screech. Once the ramp was fully on the ground, it revealed a remarkably interesting image. The Mandalorian perched on a log that was definitely too small for him. You chuckled lowly before making your way down the ramp.

Mando visibly sighed before putting his hands on his thighs to hoist himself up. You were dreading any form of interaction with him to be honest, and so was he. You both didn’t have a single clue as to where to start with each other, or what lines that were never to be crossed. The basics for sure.

Where did you grow up? How is your family? Do you have a family? What dark secret’s can you unfold?

Those were a no go, even though you were both curious to know.

“Took you long enough. I feel like I’ve been sitting out here for hours.” Mando huffed stretching his back rather exaggerated. You laughed.

“Key phrase, I feel like. You didn’t actually sit here for hours, if you did, I bet you would’ve left by now. Try saying what is true and not try to be smart with me.” You smirked seeing his visor tear through your eyes. He knew you were right; he would have totally left you by now if it was just one bounty not a kriffing mob. The dense air didn’t add to the already blooming argument. You shook your head and sighed, bracing yourself or what you were about to say, and about to do.

Let your guard down.

“Look, I’m going to cut right to it. I know we both don’t want to be here. However, I know that we are more than capable of getting this done as long as we work together. I know it might sound impossible, but we need to not be at each other’s throats. I’ll watch your back and you will watch mine. I have no doubt that we can both do that, but I would much rather not argue in between. Especially since they have the advantage of knowing this planet better than we both do.” You said as calmy as you possibly could, trying to speak your phrase into existence, and have hope to any maker out there, that the Mandalorian would comply.

On the contrary, Mando was fuming under his helmet as he stepped forward towards you, pointing an orange leathered finger at you.

“Weren’t you the one earlier that shut off your com after I helped you? How am I supposed to help you if you won’t let me?” He seethed, not wasting time to go against your wishes. You would have groaned out of annoyance but Mando was awfully close to you, almost too close. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Instead, you decided to sigh and look down at his boots, biting the inside of your cheek to try and regain some composure, before looking up at his visor, not even a foot from your face. You wanted to argue, but if you went against your own suggestion, there was no way he would comply then.

“Look, I am sorry about earlier. Truly. No one has ever seen me like that, so I shut down. We need to trust each other if we are to get this done. That is all am saying, and I am ready to do that. Are you?” You questioned, speaking slowly and quietly. Mando was still close to you, he could see your chest rising and falling with your steady breathing. His now returned to normal.

Mando nodded slightly. If you weren’t this close to him, you for sure would have missed it.

“I- “Mando started but you quickly cut him off. Not wanting to drag this on further than needed.

“Can we please just get on with this?” You quickly said, shocking yourself when you didn’t argue further, or want to. You usually never gave into an argument that easily, but you just wanted to forget about your nightmares for now and think about the task at hand. Mando was surprised too, his helmet tilting slightly looking down at you.

“Ni ceta” (I’m sorry).

Your heartrate picked up after hearing his thoughts as clear as day through your head. You didn’t mean to read his mind.

How did you do that accidently?

You looked away suddenly, not being able to meet his dark gaze for another second. He felt your discomfort and took a step back clearing his throat. All he could fathom to do was nod his head again, clearing his thoughts as he reached into his pack for the fob.

“Well, we should start walking near the last known location, Voss-Ka. It’s a long walk. But no longer than a day I’m guessing.” Mando spoke slowly while looking at the fob then back up at you. You were leaning on one leg, arms crossed, and brows knitted together listening to him. You nodded and secured your bag on your back.

“Well, lets get started then. I have no clue how the cycles work on this planet, so lets make do with the light we have right now.” You offered while Mando nodded quickly, starting in the direction you two needed to go. Taking a deep breath, you fell into step with him quickly before descending into the dense forest in front of you.

The trees were mostly only two colors, red and a dull yellow. The planet floor was also yellow, blurring everything together and making you slightly dizzy as you walked. The crunch of the ground was also annoying, well you certainly could not farm on this dry planet that’s for sure. Large rocks were present as you walked through the forest, and huge tree stumps in peripheral view, it looked menacing. However, those things are easily avoidable, but the smell of this planet was not. An interesting combination of sulfur and campfire smoke danced around your nostrils making you want to wrap your cloak higher on your face. This was the safest option for you two though to not draw any unwanted attention on yourselves. Hopefully, the forest would not have any unexpected visitors.

Mando was not fond of having to walk through a forest to get to this city, he would have much rather parked right outside of the city walls, but you insisted on coming in quiet as to not draw attention on a planet that held rather gruesome citizens. He agreed because unlike him, you’ve been here before, so he took your word for it.

“You said you’ve been here before, right?” Mando spoke, breaking the silence you two were previously walking in. Stepping over a fallen tree you nodded.

“Yes. Only twice though, and they were both relatively short trips. The bounties I’ve collected here were easy to find. Almost too easy.” You chuckled thinking back on the memories. They were both stupid bounties, hiding out in the villages scattered throughout the planet. If they were smart, they would’ve hidden in the city. It was harder to find bounties in the city.

“Hmm. Guess they hid in the villages then?” Mando questioned, understanding what an easy bounty meant. You nodded.

“Yeah. Stupid halfwit.” You shook your head with a small smile as you recalled the look on your bounties faces. Mando was happy you two were getting along for once, even if it was only a few sentences, it was a start at least. But that did not change the way he thought of you.

Obviously. Mando cleared his throat.

“We should try to get more than halfway there and set up camp. So, then we will be able to get to the city in the morning and track their last whereabouts.” Mando spoke while increasing his speed slightly to stay a head of you in the woods, however it was difficult given the terrain.

“I don’t want to see what might be in these woods any longer than we have to, so that sounds like a plan.” You added, moving a branch away from your face before it smacked you. Mando only hummed in response as he leaped down from a rather large fallen tree. He turned and offered his hand to you to help you down. Mando knew this was out of his nature, but like you said earlier, try to be nice to each other. You scoffed and jumped down next to him obviously not wanting or needed his help as you carried on. Mando sighed.

That’s more normal at least.

A few hours of silence flew by and a dozen fallen trees later, you both stumbled upon what seemed to be ruins of some kind. It was the first sign of life you both came across so far so it was somewhat comforting for a minute, before you realized you might have found something else.

You remember reading about some ancient Jedi and Sith temples that were abandoned on this planet, the thought made your throat tighten. You were not in the mood for anything else about you to be revealed to the Mandalorian. He seemed rather curious as he scanned the ruins for any life forms. Like there was any, you said in your head as you looked around as well. The setting sun created a rather jarring image in front of you. The shadows that were casted worked very well with the many oranges, yellows, and reds that the land was now covered in from the sun’s rays. Large stones were around in a circle, then some smaller ones in a semi-circle in the middle surrounding a large stone. Some stones were broken in half, and others fallen over. But the structure was nonetheless breathtaking in this lighting.

“The scan doesn’t pick up any footprints, or signs of life here.”

“Well obviously, look at this place. It’s been deserted forever.”

“Hey, I was just taking precautions- “

“Well can’t you just accept the obvious- “

“No, you listen to me I- “

A rustle.

“Wait Mando- “

“Oh, now what!? Can’t you just listen to me for once- “

“Stop! Did you hear that?” You half whispered to Mando after hearing what sounded like heavy breathing, almost panting, like you would be after running. It wasn’t Mando’s breathing. You could recognize his modulated breathing anywhere and it was certainly not you.

You frowned, how come Mando didn’t pick up on the obvious breathing from his helmet? It was a life form, right? Why did his scan not pick up the life form, or forms? Unless they managed to sneak up on you or it out of reach from Mando’s scanner.

You looked around slowly, as did he. You both turned your backs, so they were almost touching each other so you are guarding the vulnerable side to each other, as if on instinct. You gripped your blaster the same time he gripped his. If anyone was watching you both, it was like you two were mirroring each other, exactly the same movements, and even the same breath. You tried to focus on any sound that you might be able to pick up with your ears as Mando listened through his now heightened helmet. You had an uneasy feeling about this. Whatever it was.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” You whispered to the Mandalorian, now gripping your blaster harder.

“Oh- you should little girl. But it was quite entertaining to hear you two bicker.” Came a voice from the distance causing both you and Mando to point your blaster directly at them. It was a Devaronian man. He was tall, dressed in all black, with horns probably as big as your forearms. You knew they were strong creatures, but what is one of them against both of you?

“There are two of us and one of you, why should we be afraid?” Mando pipped in, as if he heard what you were just previously thinking, not faltering once with his blaster. Your chest tightened; he wasn’t the only one.

Kriff.

“Because he’s not the only one here, Mandalorian.” Chimed in another Devaronian from behind. You turned around while Mando still faced the first man, this next one had a few more friends. Well, at least five more friends.

Great, this was spectacular.

“You had to speak so soon?” You whispered over your shoulder, slightly seeing Mando tilt his visor towards you. The fob on his belt was not beeping, so this could not be the gang you were after. Your blaster was aimed high still as they surrounded you both. This was not good, not good at all. No matter how good of a fighter you and Mando were, there was no way you could escape as least three Devaronian men and four other humans. At least you guessed they were, it was hard to tell in this light.

“Ah, who is the pretty lady? This one wouldn’t happen to be yours now would it Mando? That would be a shame.” One of the men spoke. He was disgustingly pale, had long dark hair, and one tooth missing from the front as he grinned towards you. You could’ve vomited right at his feet.

“No. I am not his, and never will be. Now back up before I blast you in the chest.” You seethed, gripping your blaster even tighter. He only laughed as the other men moved closer into you both. A few more steps and they would have you pinned against Mando’s back, you could feel his cape on your ankles. You sensed that Mando was trying to think of a way out, as were you. But you could not think of a way out that did not require the use of the force. You were not doing that.

Mando was insanely tense. He didn’t like the way these men were starring at you like a piece of meat. No matter how many times you two would argue and get under each other’s skin, no one deserved that. With the thought his grip tightened even more, he knew if he didn’t have his gloves on his knuckles would be white.

“The little girl has a bark, but what about the bite? You both can’t take us.” Another man spat from behind you. Mando could see him, and he moved his blaster in their direction instead.

“Let us go, and you can all walk away with your lives. We are just passing through; we mean no harm.” Mando spoke, trying to reason with them. You knew it was a good attempt, but useless with these men. They looked to be smugglers, and they were not about to walk away empty handed. You were battling in your head. If you used the force to kill these men, then the only person you’d have to answer to was Mando, and maybe you could convince him to stay quiet about the matter.

The idea was starting to become more endearing as one of the men reached their arm towards you, cupping your face slowly. You didn’t dare move or even blast him as you lowered your arm, afraid of what his friends would do if you tried. Surly they would ambush you, and you weren’t about to let yourself and Mando die. Above all, they were not about to steal your lightsaber. Mando was all out of ideas, he was remarkably close to just surrendering and attacking when they least expected it. You felt it in his aroma. You knew you had to do something.

“I said, don’t touch me.” You muttered letting your voice quiver a bit, trying to sound as scared as you could to throw them off. You sensed Mando’s discomfort and- was that protectiveness you felt?

Nope. That couldn’t be true.

Your mind was made up. You knew what you needed to do. You reached out to Mando through the force, trying to get in his head for a moment. You felt the energy around you, having the advantage of being in an old Jedi temple, you felt strong. You heard his breath hitch slightly as you focused on what you were going to say. Mando suddenly felt as though someone was slightly squeezing his temples together, he dared not move, he didn’t understand what was going on. It felt…familiar a little bit. His blaster did not falter when the feeling of something tickling his brain increased, and then a voice.

Your voice.

“Blast the three in front of you when I say to.”

“Oh sweetheart, you can’t tell me what-” The man started but was hilariously cut off as you raised your blaster and shot him in the chest as fast as a millisecond. If someone blinked, they would have missed it.

“Now!” You shouted before you rolled on your back. Mando worked quickly shooting down the three men in front of him as you worked on the remaining men in front of you. Dagger in one hand and blaster in the other, you shot down one man and used your dagger to slice another’s leg. Mando reacted quickly and turned towards you, knowing you were outnumbered by yourself; he flung his arm out and shot his grappling line to the man you injured with your dagger. As it wrapped around him, he heard a scream from you. Turning momentarily, he saw that you were pinned to the ground by the large Devaronian. He had you in a choke hold, you gripped their arm as he slowly retracted his knife from your abdomen.

“You’ll die for killing my brothers.” He grinned at you wickedly.

Quickly, Mand retracted the line and brought out his blade and drove it into the man’s back he had trapped. Dropping the man hard on the ground, he aimed his blaster at the Devaronian on top of you before halting his movements at the scene before him. He was, floating- no levitating above you now, not moving. Not even a scream came from him.

Okay- what?

You moved your arms quickly and the man hit the tree with a loud crack! His back was definitely broken as he fell to the ground, dead. You were panting and felt a huge pain in your side. Placing your hand there, you brought it back only to find it dripping with crimson blood. You grimaced and groaned as you fell back against the ground. You felt someone above you, you hoped to the maker it wasn’t another attacker.

Mando was panting, still gripping his blaster. He was mostly confused but you felt his concern as well. You could sense easily that he had so many questions.

You don’t blame him.

“Ask me later, but please help me up.” You whispered reaching out the arm not currently clutching your side. Mando took it quickly and helped you to your feet and let his arm slide around your waist to help keep you up. If you weren’t in pain and not exhausted from using the force, you might have liked this.

No, you most certainly wouldn’t.

“Where were you hit?” Mando whispered as he walked you two away from the scene, he found a dense patch of trees, one large one was fallen over the top creating a small shelter.

Well, it checked off two boxes for you two at least. A place to help patch you up, and a place to stay for the night, that wasn’t out in the open.

He set you down gently, leaning against a tree. He kneeled in front of you, waiting for your response. Your breaths were staggered, but not shallow. That was a good sign at least, Mando thought as he checked you for any other signs of injury or discomfort. He mentally checked over himself, but he was not hit.

“His knife got me on the side. I don’t think its deep. But I could be wrong.” You stammered watching as Mando took off his pack to rummage through it, looking for a bacta patch for you, and maybe thread.

“I’ll have to look at it.” Mando said between looking through his bag and peering up at you once in a while. Your eyes felt heavier with every passing minute. He took his hand and secured it on your chin, forcing you to look at him. You stopped breathing for a second.

“Hey, I need you to stay awake, just as a patch this up. I need to lift this, is that okay?” He whispered as his fingers lingered below your long black shirt. Your cloak was already off next to you and definitely had some blood on it, leaving you feeling vulnerable. You nodded, knowing your voice would fail you if you tried to use it. Your breathing became ragged, but not because of the pain.

It- it was just the blood loss for sure.

Mando nodded quickly before taking his gloves off and lifted your shirt, setting it down on in the lower part of your chest. The cut was on the lower left side of your abdomen and traveled upwards in a slanted motion towards the center of your stomach. It was deeper than you both previously thought, causing him to sigh slightly. You for sure felt lightheaded as his fingers settled on the skin just below the cut. His skin was golden brown, and you knew it was somewhat of an honor to see a Mandalorians skin, they keep that hidden from people, it was a part of their religion. You tried not to think about it. Mando’s hands were oddly soft for how many callouses there were on them. You felt goosebumps erupt on your skin- no, stop.

It’s the blood loss, it’s the blood loss, it’s the blood loss, it’s the-

“I’ll need to stitch it. Then after I’ll secure it with a bacta patch.” He spoke lowly, glancing up at you with his visor. You were staring at your wound, saddened at the thought of a new scar. Your gaze shifted upwards to him again and nodded slowly, trying not to remember his hands on you.

“Do what you need to do.” You muttered gripping his forearm for reassurance before dropping it back to your side. You let your head hang back against the tree as you felt him get the needle and thread out of his pack.

“This might sting a little bit.” He assured as he assembled the needle and thread before getting to work. The first threading hurt the most, well, it was uncomfortable. You’ve done this countless times on yourself and for the first time ever, you were happy someone else was doing it for you.

It was relatively silent as he stitched you up, but you could feel his mind racing. Mando was confused to say the least, but he was more focused on the task at hand. He tied up the end of the thread before putting the bacta patch over it and lowered your shirt back over you.

“It should be fine, but you should change the patch in at least two days.” Mando informed you as he put everything away, slipping on his gloves again in the process. You nodded as you got comfortable against the tree behind you. Mando sat across from you.

“Thank you. I appreciate this.” You smiled softly as you brought your cloak over legs to keep yourself warm now that the sun was fully set over the terrain. The soft light of the moon reflected off of Mando’s helmet creating a wonderful glow. You had to admit, the beskar was beautiful, and if you truly didn’t despise the man in front of you; you might have enjoyed the sight.

However, you do this time. Considering he did just patch you up. He could’ve left you for dead, carried on with the bounty, and got the whole reward for himself.

Mando was silent as were you for a while, you felt his tension calm down from earlier as he sank against the tree across from you more. You could tell he was avoiding your gaze even under the dark visor. To be completely honest you couldn’t blame him. Working with someone he didn’t like and now finding out she had weird sorcerer powers? Yeah, he could not comprehend that. Mando always seemed to get into interesting situations. You didn’t even know where to start to try and answer any questions he had without giving away too much about yourself. On the contrary, you weren’t going to bring it up if he didn’t. Not until you two left this planet anyway, you could not have him spill this secret about you.

“It seems like we make a good team, huh?” You whispered, trying to lighten the mood and tread carefully.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Mando said bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest.

You heard his next statement before he could utter it.

“Tell me how you did that, that thing,”

A beat.

“Or I’ll kill you.”

Oh. Oh shit.

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[justjessame]

Babysitting Butcher Chapter 56

Reacting to what Ryan said wouldn’t work. At least not in the way that either Billy or I would naturally do.  Instead, I asked him to explain which of his powers he’d asked for them to inhibit, while Billy asked, just as carefully, who performed the operation.  It wasn’t difficult to get the information, Ryan was proud of his choice, no matter how painful it was for me to hear a child tell me that he neutered a natural part of himself instead of learning to control it.  

I was afraid, honestly, as Billy and I prepared to leave of how differently he and I would see Ryan’s choice.  I knew how Billy felt about supes, I had no wool over my eyes about the man I loved, but Ryan was a child.  He wasn’t old enough to make this type of choice, and I hoped that Billy could see that, but I feared that, as his guardian he might think it was the right one.  

Billy didn’t simply let Ryan hug him, he actually participated in the embrace, murmuring to the boy as I stood apart to give them privacy.  I was surprised when Ryan wrapped his arms around me right after.  My fingers slid through his silky hair and I smiled as he thanked me for coming back to see him, and for bringing Billy with me.  I told him we’d be back again the following Sunday, but he didn’t release me, holding on just a bit longer, and breathing in deeply it seemed.  

“Are you alright?”  I whispered, my nose almost in his hair, our heights weren’t that far off.  He hummed and I sighed at the realization of just how starved for nurturing Ryan really was.  Squeezing him a little tighter, I let my eyes meet Billy’s as the young boy who bore his last name clung to me.  

Leaving the second time was marginally easier than the first only because Billy was with me and made no bones about weaving a threat into our parting with Ms. Davos and her companion.  Promising that we’d be back Sunday, that Ryan should be ready to see us, and that we might just be going out - we left.  We were leaving the darkening mock community before either of us spoke to one another.  

��He had them put them in himself, Ronnie.”  Billy’s voice carried across the minimal road noise that the car made as he drove us home.  “Ryan chose to -”

“To neuter himself,” I agreed, with less pleasant terms than I felt Billy planned on using.  He wouldn’t even alter Terror, but Ryan - a ten year old little boy was doing it to himself.  “He let someone put chips inside of himself to keep a part of what is a piece of him naturally, Billy, at bay.”  I heard him sigh.  “I know you think this is an answer to a problem, I do, but Ryan isn’t like the other supes, he WAS born this way.  And instead of learning to control his powers, or harnessing them, he’s choosing to -” I couldn’t continue, the idea of it hurt too much.  

The silence between us grew, but it wasn’t tense.  Not yet.

We stopped at my parents’ to pick up Terror and Mom seemed to pick up on the undercurrent between us.  While Billy was talking to Dad and playing with “our boy”, she pulled me aside and asked me why I was so pale.  

“It was a tough visit,” I sighed, thinking about Ryan and how his arms had clung to me.  Mom waited, the patience of a parent and the stare of a woman who wasn’t going to let me off on the bare minimum.  “Ryan made a choice that I don’t think he’s old enough to have made.” She nodded and I went on.  “Billy might disagree.”  

Mom gave me a half smile.  “You two haven’t REALLY argued as a couple yet, have you?”  I shook my head, thinking that my freak out at the hospital probably didn’t count.  “Just remember that you love one another, Ronnie, and that you’re better together.”  She pulled me into a hug and sighed.  “He’s a rough one, but a good one, I think.”  

“Yeah,” I met Billy’s gaze when Mom released me, he was smiling at me and that dimple of his was peeking out.  “Yeah, he is.”  

Terror was snuggled between us, not as exhausted as he’d be if he had spent the night with my parents, but content that Billy and I were taking him home.  We were quiet as Billy drove us, before he could ask, I told him that I had everything at home for dinner so he drove straight without stopping.  

When we arrived, our pup was ready to run, but instead of going ahead with him, Billy pulled me to him and kissed me hard and deeply.  As I pulled back and looked up, he smiled down at me.  “I know we’re gonna talk about it, Ronnie,” he was so quiet I wasn’t sure Terror could hear him.  “And I know it’s gonna be hard, but I love you and I wanted you to know that.”  

“Did you eavesdrop on me and Mom?”  I tilted my head and stared at him.  His eyes were twinkling.  “I love you too, Billy Butcher.”  He leaned down for another kiss, but I stopped him.  “If you keep this up, we’re gonna starve and Terror’s gonna run off and eat a poor rabbit.”  

I threw dinner together, tempting though it was to make a couple HotPockets each and make do, and was waiting when my boys were back in the house.  Billy hung up his coat and met me at the kitchen table.  He sat down and picked up his fork.

“Do we talk while we eat?” I asked, picking up my own.  “Or do we wait?”

Billy had popped the first bite into his mouth, but he didn’t let a little thing like that stop him from answering me.  “Let’s get it over with.”  

Shaking my head, I sighed and took my own first bite.  He swallowed his first, and so he got to start talking first - damn the luck of that draw.

“Look, Ronnie, I know you think that Ryan ain’t old enough to choose,” my eyes flashed to his and he nodded to show he knew he hit the nail on the head.  “But it’s his body, ain’t it?”  I rolled my eyes, and he went on.  “You didn’t see what he did to her, not in person, not in that moment -” his crows feet, usually I’d associate them with his laughter, but not now, not while he was thinking of that day, their shared loss.  “If it gives him some peace -”

“Peace?”  I stared at him, wondering if that’s really what he thought.  “Ryan wants a home and a family, Billy.  He wants to have the nurturing that he lost because he didn’t know how to control a natural part of him, a part of him that he had no idea how to control because -” I stopped, looking down at my plate.  I wondered if I could ever actually say anything critical about Becca and her parenting to Billy?  “Ryan was born with these powers, Billy.  He was born with this inside of him, and instead of anyone teaching him how to control them, he was left in the dark.”  

Billy was waiting to stare at me when I looked up from my plate.  He looked patient, but I could see the tension in him, the knife’s edge that he seemed balanced on.  “After what he did to her -” there it was, the reasoning for why she wouldn’t have been willing to even acknowledge Ryan’s powers.  “How would you have dealt with it?”  A challenge, clear and simple.  

“That’s not fair, but I guess I should have expected it.”  I pushed my plate away, no longer hungry.  “All I know, Billy Butcher, is that ignoring a natural part of a child because of one of the parent’s flaws does NOTHING other than scar that child.  Not physically, but emotionally and psychologically.”  I didn’t drop my gaze from his.  He wanted to bait me, fine, he had my attention.  “Ryan is starving for affection.  His only other connection, aside from Homelander, is you.”  I let that little nugget sink into his thick skull.  “And he can fucking hear as well as his biological sperm donor so I imagine that at some point he picked up on your not so fucking quiet feelings about supes.  So gee, Billy, I wonder why Ryan BUTCHER would allow some asshole to experiment on him with power inhibiting chips?”  

And, ignoring my mom’s advice, because honestly I felt like Billy had struck a lower blow than I did, I picked up my almost full plate and tossed the food in the disposal then put it in the dishwasher.  

“You can find a blanket and extra pillow in the linen closet if you want to sleep on the sofa,” I reminded him.  “Or one of the many fucking guest rooms are made up for visitors, because your ass is NOT welcome in our bed tonight.”  And with that final shot, I left the kitchen and went to our bathroom and took a shower to try to wash off the day, then curled into our bed, which was too fucking big without his huge ass body and his bigger than life ego and cried myself to sleep. 

[obsidiancreates]

Family

You shiver, waiting at the bus stop. It’s much colder now than it had been earlier, and your jacket isn’t nearly enough to keep you warm. You pull it tighter around you, knowing it won’t help.

“Excuse me, are you alright?”

You turn to look at the man who’d just walked up next to you. You hadn’t even noticed him approaching. Stupid cold, making your brain slow.

Normally you would have tried to shy away. You weren’t on to talk to strangers, especially not when alone.

But something... something makes you immediately feel good about this man. You’re not sure what it is, exactly. You just feel... safe. Like you can trust him. Maybe it’s his dead warm eyes, or his nicely-pressed gray suit, or his dangerous kind smile he offers when you shake your head.

“I know, it’s terribly cold out today.” He tilts his head. “Here, let me help.” He shrugs off his jacket and hands it to you. “It isn’t much, but another layer is sure to help.”

You usually wouldn’t take an offer like this from someone you just met. But he just seems... right. Safe. Very, very safe.

You thank him earnestly and take the jacket.

“My name is Dark,” he says with a little bow. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You smile a little at the bow. It’s so overly formal, but endearing in a way. He smiles back when you introduce yourself.

A thought occurs to you. You ask how you’ll be bale to get his jacket back to him, if he’s taking the same bus or waiting for a different one.

“No, I’m afraid we aren’t going on the same one,” he says after you tell him which you’re waiting for. “Perhaps we could just trade numbers, arrange something? On a warmer day, of course. Otherwise it would just be a jacket swap.”

You giggle. 

You shouldn’t give him your number. Something is off about him. But you have a gut feeling about him, a good one. You trade numbers with him without a second thought.

“I look forward to seeing you again,” he says, your bus pulling up just as you get finished with the swap. You grin and say you look forward to it as well. You get on the bus, waving to him. 

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You snort, having to put down your coffee so you don’t spill it. You squeeze your eyes shut, still shaking with silent laughter, just trying not to spew your drink everywhere.

Dark beams. “I told you I could do it.”

You swallow your coffee and nod, impressed. You just hadn’t thought of him as the type to have such laugh-out-loud jokes, you say.

He laughs lightly. “Yes, well, I know my appearance is certainly not what one would usually call cheery, so I understand.”

It’s true. With his paper-white skin, his dark eyes, his pitch-black hair that naturally falls over one eye, and his pristine suits (that he always wore, no matter the weather, occasion, or setting), at first glance he seemed a very... grim fellow.

But over the past few months as the two of you had become friends, you’d learned that appearances could be very deceiving.

He was freezing cold in a way no human can possibly be warm and kind, always prying interested in your life, so very intrusive and obsessive sweet and attentive.

He got you gifts, perfect gifts that showed how much attention he payed to you and your interests. He never made any uncomfortable or inappropriate moves, the both of you perfectly happy with your close, platonic relationship. He always made sure you were safe when the two of you went out together.

And of course, you were. You were always safe with him. 

He payed for breakfast when the bill came. “I insist. You’re my friend, and I treat my friends well.” He grins. “I practically think of you as family, really.”

How alarming sweet of him!

You say you consider him family too. He grins ever wider. 

“I’m glad.”

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You shuffle to the door, sniffling. You’d had to cancel lunch with Dark, having come down with a nasty cold.

You open the door to Dark, holding paper bags and a box of tissue. “I thought I would bring lunch to you, since you’re feeling a bit under the weather.”

Creepy. Obsessive. Intrusive.

You tear up a bit. He’s so thoughtful. You let him in. What did you do to deserve him, you ask.

“You simply be yourself, and that’s enough,” he replies.

Maybe it’s because of the cold messing with your emotional regulation, maybe it’s genuine, but you start to cry. Dark looks alarmed, until you tell him that it’s because you just can’t believe how lucky you are that he’s in your life.

“Oh, come on. This is what family is for!”

Red flag. Red flag!

You nod. He helps you shuffle back to the couch. He pulls some hot soup out of one of the bags, along with some crackers and bread for dipping. Out of the other he pulls some Popsicles and ice cream. “For the sore throat, of course.”

You laugh, still teary and sniffling. 

He also pulls out some medicine. “One of my family members is a doctor, and he advised me to get this one. So if it doesn’t work well... blame him.” 

You laugh a little again, and then ask about the doctor. Dark hasn’t talked about his family much before, though you’ve never questioned it. You never questioned him much at all, really.

“He’s a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes, I’ll admit. But he comes through when he needs to, even if it takes some coercing. He’s really a good person, just... guarded. Resistant to opening up.”

Ah. You know those types well, you say.

Dark nods, looking off into space. He shakes his head. “Anyway, back to getting you better.”

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You hand Dark the little box. he takes it, looking surprised. “What’s this for?”

He’s always getting you little gifts, you say, so you decided to return the favor.

He opens it. It’s a pair of thick, hand-knitted, wool gloves. Soft, warm, and all around delightful.

Because his hands are always freezing, you say, and he’s always apologizing for it even though you’ve told him he doesn’t need to.

He smiles softly and holds them to his chest. “Thank you.” You think you hear his breath catch in his throat a bit, and swear his eyes look a bit shinier than usual. “That’s so thoughtful of you.” His eyes go a little distant. “My sister... used to knit similar ones for me. Always worried about how cold I was...”

He’s never mentioned a sister before. He looks... sad. The most genuinely sad you’ve ever seen him. And he’s using past tense. 

You have a feeling she’s not around anymore.

You hug him. You can feel how cold he is even though the suit. You barely think anything of it. It’s not natural, it’s not right, something is wrong. That’s just... Dark. Just how he is.

It’s becoming almost comforting, in a way. He’s basically family, after all.

When you break away he’s gathered himself a bit more. Always the refined gentleman. He clears his throat. “So, I believe it’s your turn to pick the restaurant?”

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You open the door to let Dark in. It’s late, but you knew he had insomnia, and you were already awake anyway. His popping by was unexpected, but you didn’t mind.

You should mind.

“I really am sorry for the sudden intrusion,” he says. 

You wave it off. It’s fine, he’s always welcome. He’s family.

He smiles a bit. “That’s what I came to discuss, actually.”

You tilt your head, confused. 

“You see, I have a bit of... well, a secret, I suppose.”

Ah. You wonder what it could be, if maybe there’s some dark reason behind why you’ve never actually met his family before, despite him mentioning that they all lived together.

“It sounds a bit ridiculous when I explain, so I’ll just show you.”

Your confusion grows.

And then he smiles again, this time with fangs. His eyes have turned red, and somehow he seems even paler than before.

You stumble back a bit, mostly out of shock. But you still feel safe. You always feel safe around him.

“My family and I, you see, we’re not exactly... blood related.” He chuckles a bit at his choice of words. “We’re bonded more by, well, this.”

You step closer. The fangs are real. His eyes are glowing.

He looks nervous.

“And I... wanted to offer something.”

You look up from his mouth, meeting his eyes.

“I know we consider each other family. And I wanted to offer you to really be apart of my family.”

It takes a second for his meaning to truly sink in.

“You’ll get along with the others very well, I promise. And if not, I can help. I’m the eldest of us all, I’m basically in charge.”

You take a deep breath.

You’d be dead. You’d have to drink blood. What about all the murders? The disappearances? It’s him! It’s them! You would be a monster! He’s playing you!

“I know it’s a rather... big decision. Think it over, it’s alright.” He gives an amused chuckle. “I have plenty of time, after all.”

Run.

“We don’t die in as soon as we step into sunlight, unlike the myths. And we can see our reflections, it’s only silver that doesn’t show them. We never get sick, and injuries heal almost immediately. You would never have to grow old, never have to worry about growing frail or weak...”

It... does sound nice.

You aren’t sure.

You tell him that.

He frowns.

Run!

“I haven’t scared you, have I?”

No, no, you assure him. No, you feel safe as always. It just... doesn’t seem right. You don’t think it would work well for you. You wouldn’t want to watch your other friends and loved ones grow old without you. You just... don’t think you would enjoy it.

You reject his offer.

He smiles. It’s more strained than usual.

“I understand. This doesn’t ruin our friendship though, does it?”

No, it doesn’t. He’s still the same person, after all.

“I’m glad. I suppose I should get out of your hair now, though. You need the sleep more than I do, after all.”

You laugh a little. You turn around to get the door for him.

A freezing cold hand wraps around your mouth before you can even reach for the knob. He speaks softly as you begin to struggle against his supernaturally strong grip. “I’m sorry, but please trust me when I say it’s for the best. You’ll understand someday, I promise.”

His hand muffles your scream when he bites into your neck.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your eyelids flutter open, and you groan. You prop yourself up in bed, your head foggy and mind clouded. What happened...

“Ah, you’re awake.”

You blink some of the fogginess out of your eyes and turn to see Dark, sitting in a chair next to your bed.

You blink again.

No, not your bed. A bed. But not yours.

You look around. It’s not your room.

It has some of your stuff in it, though.

A few trinkets that you thought you’d lost. A few more that, had you seen them in a store, you would absolutely have bought. A closet full of clothes, exactly to your taste and liking. There’s even a shirt draped over the end of the bed that you had been sure you’d lost while doing laundry.

Panic sets in. But your heartbeat doesn’t quicken. 

It doesn’t beat at all, in fact.

You bring a shaking hand to your neck. There’s gauze taped over it.

You feel a sharp pain in your stomach. You’re starving.

“I know you must be confused. But before anything, you need to feed.” Dark stands up, and leaves the room for a second. Literally. He’s barely out the door when he comes back in, carrying a...

A body.

No. A person. Still alive. Heart still beating. You can hear it.

Your mouth waters a bit.

Dark holds the body up to you. “Drink up, it’s only going to get more intense the longer you wait.”

You don’t want to. The thought makes you sick.

But as soon as your eyes fall on the body’s neck, you lose control. You grab them and sink you new fangs in, drinking greedily.

Dark watches, grinning. “Once you’re done, you can meet the rest of the family.”

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(Anon Jim asked if I would ever do one of the reader being turned back when I wrote the one where Vamp!Dark just kills them, and ta-da! I wrote one where the reader was turned! :D

I tried not to dwell too much on the um, blood drinking part. Thought that might be weird. Was it okay? Not too much?)

(... does this qualify as an X reader? Or do those have to be romantic? Let me know so I can tag this properly. Also let me know if I need to add any or missed any TWs!)

[zoozoostudio]

The Sock-Virgin Diaries I've lost track of how long it's been since @iamtoni-the-roomie and I started our sock challenge. I feel like it's taken over my knitting life completely. So far I have knit and ripped 5 different socks on the basis that none of them were good enough to knit a friend for. If it's not wearable what's the point? I was happy with my slightly too big sock with the purple cuff for about 5 minutes - the 5 minutes it took to post about how thrilled I was with it. And then I decided I could do it better and I should keep practising. So now I'm having a go at shadow-wraps instead of German Short Rows, and I think I like it much better. Unfortunately, so much sock knitting on tiny dpns with fine wool has killed my hands. I've aggravated carpal tunnel syndrome and tendonitis to the point where I can't knit anymore. I shouldn't be typing either, but .... So my hands have been wrapped in ice for a few days while I fume in frustration at not being able to start a new sock. Or even pick up a wip. Some important things I have learned: Little dpns and fine yarn are painful (and slow). Knitting chunky socks is a lot less painful. Needles made from 2 different materials i.e. With a ferule holding on the needle tip, are a pain in the butt. My old-fashioned steel dpns work much better so no more Knit-pro needles for me (at least for socks). Square needles are a pain in the ass too, and no easier on your hands and the stitches get hung up instead of moving smoothly along the needle. For needles that are supposed to be good for people with arthritic hands, these sure did aggravate my arthritis! I won't be using them again. For any kind of knitting. (Stay tuned for a review of all the needles I've bought in the last 2 years and how they worked out for me. The money I spent! The money I could have saved!). Bamboo fibre (I had some left over) is just horrible for knitting socks - it splits and twists and generally hangs itself up. Never again. Baby cashmere makes a very very nice sock. They are like heavenly clouds for your feet. When my hands recover, I am diving into my baby yarns drawer and making several pairs. If you look hard enough you will always find a video or tutorial explaining things in a way that makes sense to you. Thank you Miriam Felton on youtube for her awesome demo of shadow-wraps. I love this technique, especially because you can see clearly where you are up to and therefore don't have to count, and there are no holes. It's idiot-proof. Or at least me-proof. Always cast-off the cuff in rib - not some purported "stretchy bind-off" that leaves you with a great looking sock that you can't pull over your foot. I'm an experienced knitter. I should know this. Doh. You can't knit socks and watch an action film, at least not as a novice. Dr Strange is responsible for a lot of dumb mistakes and dropped stitches. Tequila helped. Beer helped. Champagne helped. Margarita's helped. I think you get the drift. If your hands are hurting, STOP. Or be prepared for an embarrassing lecture from your doctor. "Why do you knit if it hurts?" "Well, because, ummmmmm.....". Because I do. Even though it hurts, it's really addictive. I just want to knit socks now, and nothing else. Will this pass? My borer collie has learned to roll his eyes. Every time he sees me sit down and pick up knitting, he just rolls his eyes and walks out. Not enough pats apparently.

[purspektivz]

Set. Me. Free.

So I am sitting in this hotel room in downtown Birmingham. I had my MacBook on my lap and Being Mary Jane just went off and I was about to get back to working on a proposal and finishing it up on time. My company was just approved as a federal vendor and I was taking steps to finally make a bigger impact my way. When I start typing, the data and knowledge flows and I tend to be able to plug shit in. But it’s the START that gets me. It’s like all the doubts flood me as much as the excitement and anticipation. I feel inadequate, stupid, unprepared, too late, too old, not connected enough.....all of THAT! I get a sick feeling in my stomach and I freeze. I remember being this girl who went HARD after what she wanted and couldn’t NOBODY tell me I couldn’t do it! I was the girl who raised a daughter, who became the woman to do all things the 16 year old pregnant girl was told she couldn’t. I have fought battles for so many others and bent over backwards. Where did this fear come from? This stagnation? The DEEP doubt?

I got ALL TYPES of shit going on in my personal life. I was weighted down with shit back home. Trying to keep my head above water and achieve my dream. Because God keep breathing into me every day and it gotta be for a reason, right? And I can’t give up. I can’t die. I already tried. So I had to ask myself....

What made me feel FREE? What made me feel ALIVE? The answer.....

MUSIC

And when I say MUSIC, I ain’t just talking about this stick-a-wireless-headset-in-your-dome-and-stream-the-shit-outta-some-tracks music. 

I am talking about being the little girl who was raised in a home where ‘that secular (which, for religious Black folk was synonymous with Satanic) music’ was not allowed. 

I am talking about that little clock me and my sister had in our room that had a radio on it and we would sneak and listen to the radio station and rock to groups like SWV, XScape and H-Town. 

I am talking about sneaking in the basement of my parent’s house and turning on BET and watching music videos and swooning over Tevin Campbell as he sang Can We Talk.

I am talking about going over our grandmother’s house and my cousin having a million cassette tapes that he would stick into his stereo system in the back room he shared with his sister. He would blast NWA, Tupac Shakur, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, MJG, 8Ball, LL Cool J, Bone Thugs ‘N Harmony, Eric B and Rakim, and all of THAT! When Mark Wahlberg was Markie motha fuckin MARK! 

Or how we would sneak in my grandmother’s bedroom while she was on the porch or out somewhere and turn on The Box and watch videos other folks had paid for while one of us held that damn antennae juuuust right to get a good picture and sound. We would watch videos from Craig Mack, MC Hammer, Ghetto Boyz and Busta Rhymes. 

I am talking about the salvation I felt when I bought my first portable cassette player. You know the one that held those cassette tapes where you had to stick a pencil in and roll that tape in that shit when the songs started sounding funny. The one that came with the headphones with the sponges on them. And if you had the CHEAP player, that wire in between those headphones was thin and you had to keep sliding that shit on your head. I remember popping in Tyrese’s first album, Jay-Z’s Vol. 1, Total’s Kim, Keisha and Pam album and the GREAT Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. I remember tucking those headphones underneath my wool hat in the winter while I took the nearly 2-hour bus and train ride home from my job at Montgomery Ward in the cold and have to walk a half a mile to my parent’s apartment. That shit kept me sane. To run out of AA batteries was to run out of peace!

I am talking about my parents going to work and the landlord’s son letting us borrow his CD’s and we would blast music over my father’s stereo system. Tupac had become 2Pac and we listened to Makaveli. We memorialized Christopher Wallace over the sounds from Life After Death. 

When 702′s Steelo was the joint that made you jump up. 

When Immature was still the cute guys with the baggy clothes and sunglasses we all had crushes on. 

When Blackstreet was begging a mother fucka not to leave. 

When Missy had a wardrobe full of vinyl, but could make a joint that got you on your feet and collabo tracks with EVERYBODY. 

When Lil Kim’s nasty boldness shocked the shit out of everybody but broke a mold. 

When I used to run bath water and listen to that Waiting To Exhale soundtrack. 

When I used to get finger waves and pretend I was that dark chick from Zhanè and went and got my head shaved like the light skinned chick. 

I am talking about being pregnant and being on bed rest and being in the house alone after everyone went off to work and school and rubbing my belly, crying and watching Boyz II Men ‘Mama’ video. 

When I used to watch Next tell a chick they’re getting too close or Janet Jackson get her red locks braided and sing along to the soft voice of Joni Mitchell and Q-Tip spit lines in between. 

When Sisqo made a black made with blonde hair the sexiest thing alive. 

I can go on and on!

Music made me feel alive. Jay-Z’s confidence gave me hope. Tyrese made me feel pretty. Missy Elliot made me feel like it was OK to be different. Rappers like Common, Nas and Tupac made me feel woke. Chaka Khan made me feel like I could be so fucking fabulous, I could run a marathon in red bottoms. Meshell Ndegeocello gave me EVERLASTING LIFE as an out bisexual woman in a time when it was super taboo to do so. Jill Scott rode the train with me back and forth to DePaul’s campus and made me imagine a life after the struggle. When I got my first apartment, I used to turn on VH1 Soul and let it play through my crib. I used to open a window, feel the wind and lay across my bed and softly play that Best of Sade orange CD I loved so much. 

Music was soothing. It told a story. It understood me. It comforted me. I remember plugging headphones into my laptop and streaming Yahoo! Music and listening to songs to encourage me. I remember the music flowing as tears streamed down my face after I had gotten my daughter, who was in so much pain from a chronic illness, to settle down and sleep. I was intentional about what I listened to. I wanted to conjure an atmosphere that gave life. I wanted to hear my own story somewhere in those lyrics.

So, tonight as I sit here on this bed, under this duvet, with this MacBook on my lap, I grabbed these little bitty ass why-these-things-cost-$200 beats by Dre headphones and connected it to my iPhone and opened Tidal. What did I listen to to keep me motivated when I had to take the bus and get my education in the bitterest cold? What did I listen to when I held my daughter? Where was that Kiss of Life track I used to ride along Lake Shore Drive and listen to while it rocked my daughter to sleep in the backseat?

Where was my hope? Where was my motivation? 

I looked in that black search box and began my journey. Words that reminded that there has been worse than this. That I have come this far by faith. To keep pushing. I pushed through so much bullshit in my life, I should write a manual. Don’t give up now. 

Peace.