#god TV people make me go wild

[starrbar]

DUDE the new Hazbin Hotel show has a TV man AND Alastor I'm gonna fuckin cream!!!

[rafeandonlyrafe]

purity ring

words: 2.5k

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, reader is virgin and religious, purity rings/waiting until marriage, virginity/innocence kink, female receiving oral, fingering, p in v sex, protected sex <3 (yay! for once!), one scene takes place in a church

you are perfect. an innocent angel, untouched by anyone. you wore a silver purity ring firmly on your finger, gifted to you by your father on your 16th birthday. you don’t take the promise you made that day lightly, and while you have had one serious boyfriend in high school, you have remained abstinent. 

rafe overlooked you at first, seeing you as a sweet harmless girl, but didn’t take any real interest until you grew out of your teen years, your body developing without him realizing until he saw you at the beach one day, wearing what would be a modest swimsuit if it wasn’t for you wide hips and large breasts, threatening to spill out even with your high neckline.

rafe took a liking to you right then and there. he knows how pure you are, how you are a proud virgin and don’t partake in any of the partying or drinking like most of the people your age, even though you are over 21. it may be legal, but you always say it doesn’t feel right, and only have a bit of wine at dinner on occasions.

“hello.” rafe says as he sits down on the church pew next to you. you give him a confused look. you have never seen rafe at your church before, and you thought that he wasn’t religious, but you are never one to judge, so you wipe the confused look off your face and give him a pleasant smile instead.

“hello, rafe. it’s been a while.” “i know, haven’t really seen you since high school.” he says. 

“i don’t think we have the same interests.” you giggle. if you were more into partying, you’re sure you would see rafe a whole lot more often. 

“really?” rafe questions. “you didn’t develop a love for golf since we graduated?”

you scoff, shaking your head. rafe smiles at you, and you are surprised to find yourself liking his attention.

“how about mini golf?” he asks. “i could take you after the service. get ice cream too.”

you go to say no, not wanting to hang out with someone as wild and crazy as him, but you remember your vow to god to not judge others, and end up agreeing.

rafe smirks at you when the pastor starts his sermon and you turn your attention away from rafe. 

hes sweet throughout the whole date, respectful of your boundaries and chatting with you with seemingly real interest. he asks you when you finish all 18 holes of mini golf if you’d be willing to see him again.

you say yes, which leads to more and more dates until you’re comfortable with rafe, even going as far to officially begin courting him.

you fall head over heels, in love with the attention he gives you until you're kissing in the back seat of his truck, his hands moving all over your body.

“wait, rafe-” you pull away with a gasp. “we can't.”

rafe frowns but nods. he's been progressing the physical touch more and more, trying to get you to open up to him, but every time things start to get hot and heavy, you stop him.

he is determined to change things, especially when he realizes he's lost sight of why he became interested in you in the first place. he wants to claim you, not just court you, and he's quickly falling just as hard.

rafe convinces you to spend the night. a movie marathon and cuddle session. you tell rafe that you need a separate bed to sleep in, but he's hoping to convince you to share one with him.

rafe ignores the movie playing on the tv, his head buried in your shoulder, pressing kisses to your neck.

“rafey.” you giggle and squirm when he sucks a spot onto your neck.

“come on, baby.” rafe begs, moving to kiss your jaw. “haven't i proven how serious i am about us?” he questions, his hand resting on your thigh, pushing it closer to your core. you can't help the moan that escapes your lips, your body betraying your mind.

“just let me make you feel good. you'll love it, i promise.”

you think it over, briefly glancing at the ring on your finger, at the promise you made.

“baby.” rafe cups your hand in his, taking the ring out of your sight as he captures your mouth in a kiss.

he moves so you're laying down against his pillows, covering your body with his, hovering over top of you.

he moves one hand to under your knee, pulling it so you have to wrap it around his waist. rafe keeps kissing you, keeps you breathless and dizzy as he presses his hips into you, letting his hard length rub over your core.

you moan into his mouth, looping your arms around his shoulders.

“please.” rafe says against your lips. you blink your eyes open to meet his bright blue ones. “i love you baby.”

you melt at rafes word, giving him a nod of permission. “i love you too.” you coo.

rafe presses his lips against yours, letting you get lost in the kiss as he continues to grind into you. he can tell from the way your other leg loops around him that you like the feeling a lot.

rafe lets a hand wander underneath your top, feeling the smooth skin of your stomach before moving higher, cupping your breast over your bra.

you reach behind your back and unclip it, letting rafe continue to feel you up as you take the bra off from under your shirt, tugging it away. 

rafe grips your breast, toying with your nipple immediately, not letting you think too hard about what he's doing, needing to keep you focused on what new part he's touching.

he makes sure to give both sides of your chest equal attention. he wishes he could pull away from the kiss and rip your shirt off, wanting to see your tits bare, but you keep your arms locked around his shoulders as you kiss.

“baby, i can make you feel even better with my mouth.” rafe says, pressing kisses to your cheek.

“n… no.” you whine. “don't want you to look.” you feel enough shame as it is letting rafe defile you this way, and you certainly aren't confident enough to have him seeing you naked.

“how about i turn the tv off?” rafe offers. the light is already off in the room, and theres only a bit of moonlight peaking through the drawn curtains, the tv providing all the light in the room. you nod as he reaches for the remote, clicking the movie off.

“wait-” you realize that he's forgetting something. “you need to use a condom.” while you may be giving up your virginity to rafe, you certainly will not be letting him get you pregnant before marriage.

“yeah.” rafe fumbles in the dark through his nightstand, pulling a condom out and setting it on the bed for when he's ready.

rafe leaves your shirt on, hoping it will make you feel more comfortable as he tugs on your pajama shorts. it's a bit of a fumble in the dark, but he eventually gets them off. 

he reaches for your underwear next, feeling the frilly fabric against his fingers. rafe has to pause before taking them off to squeeze his cock through his pants, needing relief. he's finally so close to his goal, finally close to taking you, to being your first. 

“just tell me if anything hurts.” rafe says, taking two fingers and running them through your slit, feeling how wet he's made you.

“rafe!” you shout. 

“does it feel good baby?” rafe asks, pressing a finger against your entrance, needing to open you up quickly before he can't control himself and hurts you by forcing his cock inside you too soon.

“yeah, feels really good.” you moan out. rafe moves his thumb to your clit, glad he knows pussies well enough to find it easily in the dark. he let's the sudden overwhelming pleasure take over your mind as he plunges his finger in.

he can't help the groan he lets out when he feels your tightness wrap around his digit. he begins to pump his finger, his thumb continuing to massage your clit, smiling at your nonstop moans. he's sure that you've never even touched yourself before by your reaction.

rafe drops himself onto his stomach between your legs, needing to have your sweetness on his tongue. he swears you taste better as he licks around your folds, knowing that you haven't been sullied by other men.

he moves his thumb in favor of licking at your clit, pushing a second finger into your cunt as soon as he feels a bit of give.

you reach down, gripping rafes hair in your hands. you push his face further into your pussy, his fingers stretching you out when he begins to scissor them.

“can't wait to be inside you.” rafe says, his voice vibrating against your skin.

“want you now.” you tell rafe. you need more than just his fingers pumping into you, need to feel connected in the most intimate way possible. 

rafe moves quick, shucking his pajamas and underwear off. his cock is finally freed. he takes your hand in his, wrapping it around his shaft while he kneels against the bed. 

you aren't fully sure what to do to make rafe feel good, but you stroke your hand up and down, and judging from the sound rafe makes, it feels good.

rafe can feel your purity ring as you stroke him. he grabs the condom and takes it out of its wrapping, pushing your hand out of the way as he slides the rubber over his cock.

“gonna take you in this position, as long as it feels good.” rafe says, moving back between your legs. he gets a pillow and shoved it under your hips, raising them up and hopefully making it easier for you to take him.

“rafey.” you whine, hand reaching out for his. rafe loops his fingers through yours, using his other hand to line his cock up with your entrance. rafe moves slowly, his breathing heavy and deliberate as he splits you open, his heavy cock touching places no one has ever gone before.

“does it hurt?” rafe asks once he's seated all the way inside of you. 

you whine in response, causing rafe to frown. as much as he wants to make you his, he doesn't want to put you in any sort of pain. he leans over your body, pressing his lips to your cheeks.

“im sorry baby, but you're doing so good for me.”

“just-” you gasp when you move your hips a little, making him touch a new part of you. “just give me a minute.”

“take your time.” rafe says. “i love you.” he thought he was just saying it to get you into his bed, but rafe finds himself really meaning it.

you breathe deeply for a minute before pressing your lips to rafes. “you can move now.”

rafe hums against your lips, continuing to kiss you as he begins with gentle thrusts, wanting to build you up. he finds much more patience within himself now that he's been inside of you.

you move your arms back to rafes shoulders, pressing your nails into his back, dragging them down his back when his thrusts increase in tempo.

“scratching me already? what a dirty girl.” rafe chuckles into your ear.

“shh.” you complain, brows scrunching together, not wanting to think about how dirty you are being at the moment, wanting to focus on how good rafe is making you feel rather than the fact that you're letting go of your virtue.

“my innocent little girlfriend, squeezing around my cock.” rafe continues to tease you.

“it feels so good.” you say, as if it's some sort of excuse as to why your cunt is repeatedly pulsing around his dick.

“i know it does baby. your pussy feels so good too. so tight for me, my little virgin.” rafe presses his lips against yours in a kiss. “although i guess you're not a virgin anymore.”

you cry out when rafe presses his thumb back to your clit, whatever response you had brewing cut off as he begins to thrust with earnest now, able to slide in much easier than when he first got inside of you.

“gonna cum for me?” rafe questions. he can tell from the way your body has gone tight that you must be close.

“i-i think so.” you whine, feeling a rush of wetness flood to your pussy, rafes thumb pushing your clit perfectly as your orgasm rushes over your body, a loud moan forcing its way out of your mouth, your entire body shaking with the force. 

your cunt is squeezing so tightly rafe almost can't thrust his cock back into you, but he manages to force himself through your walls to release into the condom deep into you, your pussy milking him. you would surely be bred if it wasn't for the thin layer of rubber.

rafe pulls his cock out slowly as you breathe deeply underneath him, coming down from the ecstacy that he just brought you to.

rafe moves to pull his condom off, discarding it in the trash.

“can we put our pajamas back on to sleep?” you ask as rafe begins to get back into bed. he can't help but smile at you, still so shy even after he had his mouth buried between your legs.

“of course.” rafe gives you your underwear and shorts back, eyes adjusted somewhat to the dark, but still not able to make out many details as he redresses himself, but leaves his shirt off.

rafe slides into bed next to you, pulling you in close. you fall asleep almost instantly, which rafe is glad about, not giving you a moment to regret what just happened on a tired brain.

rafe hears your breathing change and grabs your hand, sliding your silver purity ring off your finger. it's his now.

you don't overthink the act when you wake up in the morning, especially when rafe sinks to his stomach and eats you out in the morning light until you cum on his tongue.

you even go as far to thank him for showing you how good sex can be for a couple. you are certain rafe will become your husband, and you suppose you are just starting your martial acts early. 

you are walking with rafe through a crowded restaurant the next day. he's treating you to a nice dinner when you realize he has a silver chain hanging off his neck.

you furrow your brow, tugging it out from underneath his shirt, gasping when you realize that your purity ring is hanging around his neck.

“well, it's not like you could keep wearing it.” rafe smirks, leaving the ring out for everyone to see.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre

[tornado1992]

No one knows where Sonic lives.

Even in his so called world renowed hero status, there’s way too little that the general public knows about Sonic The Hedgehog, sure, they know what his favorite food is, they know the names of his friends, and they know when his birthday is, but they don’t know where is he from, how is he so fast, or what is his reason to fight.

They know about most of the times he has saved the world, but they don’t know why his shoes don’t get burned by his speed, they know he can turn into a god-like glowy golden being, but they don’t know how exactly the magical jewels that do that work, they know he’s unstoppable, but they don’t know why.

Most people don’t care that much about that kind of information, even if he’s a hero, that’s his own business, even heroes need privacy; but then there’s the curiosity, the enigma, the mystery, most of those questions will be left without a solid answer, but there’s a few that should have definitive one.

Where does someone who can run around the whole globe in a matter of hours live? There’s a lot of theories.

Sonic has enough fame to have several fan clubs all around the world, and between all those fan clubs there’s been a lingering interest in the enigma of where does sonic live, between all the other questions this one is the one that gets the most possible answers, considering factors like his speed, his well known crave for adventure, his love for nature, all of it could make the difference between the right answer and the wrong answer.

At certain point, the curiosity reaches to more general public apart from the fanatism prone, and when in opportunity to talk to him, a lot of people start asking him the same question: “where do you live?” the answers all equal and all different at the same time “right here in the same world as you” “it varies from time to time” “I don’t think you could visit me”

The vagueness, the confusing contradictions, the evasion of the subject; he’s doing this on purpose. They might not know a lot about the blue speedster, but now this sole data needs to be known.

They start asking Sonic’s acquaintances instead of the hedgehog himself, they know they’re not getting an answer out of him at this point, and if anyone could have one, his friends should know it. Turns out that they don’t know.

Most of his friends being more annoyed with the fact that not even they know where he lives than about the people sticking their noses to his friend’s business was a surprise to the masses, and underwhelming, backtracking, frustrating surprise.

There’s an anonymous user online who affirms that not even the hedgehog’s arch nemesis knows where Sonic lives. Reliable sources support the statement.

The waters of nonsense gossip calm down after some time, but the question still remains, left to be more of general curiosity than lingering mystery.

A random day in a random town, a news program happens to be live outside when the speedster passes by and stops to smell the flowers around the area, the reporters ask him for a small interview, he says they have till he finishes picking up enough flowers for a crown.

They ask the same question everyone has asked for quite some time, just a different word, “Sonic, where is your home?”

Apparently the accidental rephrasing change is what finally gets it, as the speedster just says “right now? should be at mystic ruins”

He runs off immediately, the reporters left speechless, the program still on air on TV’s and the web, and the world going wild.

They finally got a straight, solid, specific answer. “That can’t be true” “but it can” “it’s logical” “it’s not” “he must’ve been joking” “he sounded serious” and more and more discussions take place around that single interview, the fan clubs are theorizing again, the general public is now more curious, and the official news from all over the globe need to confirm this by themselves.

So they ask again.

A full week later, a different city in a different country, different news reporters don’t even bother to ask him for an interview, they just run to him the moment they see the blue blur pass by and ask him again “Sonic, where is your home?!” He yells his answer without stopping:

“Last time I checked was in Central City”.

“It’s a contradiction” “then he was joking before” “he might change where he lives weekly” “we need more proof” “that was way too specific again”.

A different continent, two days later, a group of kids manage to record him when he greets them from the other side of a mountain, they ask “Where is your home?!” He yells back “I’m not sure at the moment!”

The confusion only grows, now no one knows if he’s genuinely giving true answers or full ass lying, it would be logical for him to do either. The curiosity becomes a mystery again, and people are legitimately trying to track all the locations he has mentioned to find out what is this all about. Some people even try to track him down. They try.

A whole month later, there’s a celebration near sunset city, a commemoration of some sorts, there’s been a lot of battles in way too little time so people just try to think about the party rather than the motive for it. Sonic attends the celebration along some of his friends.

A local news channel manages to reach him at the chili dog stand where he is waiting for his food while talking to the two tailed fox everyone knows is his best friend. They don’t mean to interrupt, but these opportunities are limited.

They ask the same question, the same word change that they know works: “Sonic, where is your home?”

The blue blur hangs an arm around the kit’s shoulder in a half hug as he grins widely, he says loudly: “right now, it’s right here!”

This time his home was with him.

[f1byjessie]

HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.

love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.

( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )

━━ part two.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, williamsracing, and 17,349 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername from a little boy meeting his heroes to a young man racing alongside them, getting to see all you’ve accomplished throughout the years makes me the proudest sister in the world. 2024 better watch its back, because sargeants always come back swinging.

view all 2,863 comments

logansargeant we pack a mean punch too 👊

↳ yourusername the meanest 👊

user wait no cuz this is actually so cute omg??? i want a sister to make cute posts about me

user definitely can’t wait to see more y/n at the races in 2024

williamsracing It was lovely having you in the paddock this season Y/N! We’re already looking forward to seeing what 2024 has in store!

↳ yourusername it was a genuine honor to be there! plus i look great in blue 😉💙

↳ user wait does this mean logan is re-signing??

alex_albon me and lily would love to have you both come round during the break if schedules align! 

↳ yourusername awwww alex!! speaking on behalf of logan, we’d love to!!

user i’m living vicariously through the sibling bond that the sargeant twins have

INSTAGRAM.

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 426,972

tagged: oscarpiastri

mclaren Some of our favourite meme-worthy images of Oscar from 2023! Which is your fav?

view all 2,632 comments

oscarpiastri guys…

user mclaren admin knows what the people want

↳ user mclaren admin feeding us well on this fine day

user these are actually so funny omg mans ain’t got no face filter

landonorris yea so this won’t be necessary for me pls and thx

↳ mclaren We already have the pictures ready! 👍

user i’ve made all of these faces at my tv this year

yourusername oh to be a rubber ducky in oscar piastri’s ice bath

↳ user OH? MY?? GOD???

↳ user UMMMM

↳ user real

INSTAGRAM.

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 835,781 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

landonorris papaya pals! looking forward to another season with you mate

view all 6,264 comments

user going into cardiac arrest

user damn oscar looking caked up

↳ user i’m glad i wasn’t the only one thinking it

oscarpiastri of all the pictures

↳ landonorris i giveth thy people what they want

↳ yourusername and we thank you for it sir lando 🫡

user MANIFESTING MORE PODIUMS FOR 2024

mclaren Looking forward to another year, boys! 🧡

danielricciardo you’re only posting these to show off your ass

↳ landonorris and if i am?

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 11,263 others

yourusername i can still recall our last summer 

view all 926 comments

logansargeant it’s december 1st???

↳ yourusername it’s summer somewhere

user i wish i lived in florida

user MAMMA MIA REFERENCE

oscarpiastri ☀️

↳ yourusername 🌊

user i’m so delulu about what this could mean

↳ user it’s probably just an aesthetic caption?? y’all are fr crazy

↳ user no cuz it’s literally winter rn in the states so why would she post about summer?

↳ user bc she lives in florida?? where the weather is like summer all the time??

You lower your phone and look back to the dark waters crashing against the shore. Logan’s time in Formula 1 has meant you’ve been traveling around the world, getting to experience so much more than you’d ever imagined you would in your lifetime, but nothing compares to the familiarity and comfort of Florida— of home.

And your friends.

“So,” Sophia bumps her shoulder against yours, eyes alight with mischief when you turn to meet her expectant gaze. “Come on,” she teases, “tell me about him.”

You’ve been friends with her for a few years now, ever since moving back to the United States. She was born and partially raised in Belgium, so after spending so long in Europe, she’s the only one who understood the minor culture shock of moving back. You both clicked, and you’ve been stuck together ever since. You’ve learned, however, that if there’s one constant about her, it’s without a doubt her need to gossip about anything and everything— but specifically boys.

You huff out a laugh, “There’s no ‘he’ to tell you about.”

She hums into her glass of wine, eyeing you skeptically.

“There isn’t!” You laugh, shoving her lightly.

She gasps and feigns falling back onto the blanket spread out beneath you. She’s dramatic, too, and that’s another reason you matched so well. She feels like the sister you never had, which makes moments like this feel even more special.

“This back and forth with a certain OP-eighty-one suggests otherwise,” she sing-songs back at you as she sits up, making kissing faces and cackling when you shove at her again.

“I’m not sure how you even know about that,” you grumble. “You don’t even use Instagram.”

“Maybe not, babes,” she casts her gaze out across the ocean, “but I have my sources. So come on, between us girls and us girls only, tell me what’s going on.”

You heave a sigh, gulp down the last mouthful of wine in your glass, and then pour yourself another while she waits. You’re not getting out of this, and part of you does really want to talk about things. On top of being your brother and therefore way more protective than he needs to be, Logan is also Oscar’s best friend and you’re not sure what “bro code” is exactly, but you imagine not dating your friend’s sister is part of it— so he’s out of the question. You’d go to Dalton if you were sure he wouldn’t tell Logan, but they’re loyal to each other and have some sort of unspoken pact when it comes to your love life. You joked once that instead of your dad, it’d be them waiting at the door with a shotgun if you ever brought a guy home, but you’re not sure it was a joke at all with how they act sometimes.

“It started in Bahrain,” you begin, rolling your eyes when she wiggles excitedly and turns her undivided attention to you. “I’ve known him for a while because he and Logan have driven together since they were young, so I messaged him after the race to say that it sucked he had to retire so early into it.”

“And?”

You shoot her a look. “And, we kept talking. One thing led to another and we met up for drinks…” You fiddle with the rim of your glass, glancing back out to the water. You can’t tell if the heat on your face is because you’re embarrassed, or from spending so much of your day under the Floridian sun. “That’s it.”

“That’s it?” She asks incredulously.

“Well—” you purse your lips. “We kissed. Once. When he dropped me off at the hotel. But it was probably just the alcohol or something. I don’t think he wanted it to mean anything. I bet he just wanted to have fun but couldn’t because he had to leave early in the morning.”

She sends you a look. “He was sober enough to drive you back… but you think it was alcohol influencing his decisions? And he kissed you, even knowing he wouldn’t be able to ‘have fun?’ Right. Didn’t mean anything at all.”

You shake your head and huff. “He was upset because he’d had such high hopes for his first Grand Prix and it ended poorly, and I was there to comfort him, so maybe that’s why. He got caught up in the moment, or something.”

“Y/N, I love you. I do. You’re my best friend and you’re like a little sister to me,” she cups your face in her hands and turns you to look at her. “But you can be so dense sometimes, do you know that?”

“Then why hasn’t he brought it up?” You ask, your voice garbled slightly from the way her hands squish your cheeks together. “We saw each other again in Melbourne, to celebrate him getting his first points, and he didn’t say anything then. Or Miami, or England, or Japan.”

She gives you another look and lets your face go. “It’s a two-way street, babe. Why haven’t you brought it up?”

And… that’s a good point. You technically could’ve brought it up, too. You’d just been so afraid of how he would’ve reacted that you’d chosen to keep quiet, preferring uncertainty over rejection. It’s the same reason why you so rarely pursue the things you want. A fear of rejection stands in your way, and you realize suddenly that you could’ve ruined things with someone you genuinely like just because you were afraid.

“You know, like, Schrodinger’s cat," you start meekly. "If you don’t open the box, the cat is dead and alive, because you don’t know. So I never brought it up. Because not knowing is better than him telling me it was nothing.”

She reaches out and wraps her arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her side. When she speaks again, her voice is calmer, less accusatory, a murmur against the ambiance of the hissing tide— “But what if he tells you it’s something?”

You groan. “He probably thinks I’m not interested.”

“Y/N—”

“Oh God!” You pull away and bury your face into your hands. “I ruined it all!”

She pries your hands away and looks you in the eye. There’s a sparkle in her gaze, it’s the look she gets when she has a plan.

“You haven’t ruined it. We just have some work to do.”

━━ tags: @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis

━━ a/n: i am overwhelmed by the amount of love on the first part of this! genuinely did not anticipate it at all, and i'm so thankful. so here's the second part! i hope it does justice to the first!

[atinylittlepain]

ok so given that the oscars just happened, imagine a joel x actress!reader. before everything went to shit joel was a normal human being who loved watching movies and like any basic person had a celebrity crush. fast forward and the world has gone to shit and joel and ellie (and maybe tommy too) go on a patrol that goes wrong and get saved by miss “i just smashed a guys head in with my oscar” or something like that, just a fluff and fun imagine that isnt gonna break my heart in a million pieces like last nights episode

oh my god, your mindddddd - I love this idea :)

Big Fan

Joel Miller x actress!reader

Joel Miller masterlist

Joel recognizes her right away. After all, she starred in his favorite movie of all time.

warnings | 18+ a little angst, nothing wild, this is fluff through and through

Read part two!

.......................

“Are you–”

“I am.”

“You were in–”

“I was.”

“Well I’ll be damned.” 

“Alright, somebody better start speaking in full sentences, because I have no clue what the hell is going on.” Joel huffs, glancing at Ellie who's looking at him like he’s gone crazy, her gun still cocked at the woman in front of them.

“What? You don’t recognize her, kid? I just showed you Curtis and Viper.” Ellie’s brow furrows, but then she looks back at the woman and her eyes finally widen in recognition.

“Holy shit.” The woman laughs, eyes still focused on the barrel of Ellie’s gun.

“That’s not usually the movie people recognize me from. But I suppose it was my big break.” Joel nudges Ellie, muttering for her to put her “damn gun away, jesus christ,” and she quickly tucks it back in her belt.

He’s trying to not be weird right now, they did just kill five clickers together, but he’s finding it hard not to lose his cool over the woman who had been a silly crush of his since he first saw that cheap action movie as a teenager. He knows she did much better films afterward, remembers hovering behind the couch one night while Sarah was watching one of those awards shows, lingering just a bit longer when he saw her giving an acceptance speech with a blinding smile in a dress that probably cost more than his house. She’s certainly less elegant-looking now, but even after twenty years in a world like this, he can’t help the quick kick of his heart at actually meeting this woman in the flesh.

He clears his throat, also trying to clear his mind.

“Are you alone?” She sighs, wiping the blade of her knife on her jeans before sliding it back into its sheath.

“I wasn’t, and then I was. We were headed toward a settlement we heard about, I think a bit further north from here?” Joel keeps his expression steady, but can feel Ellie glancing at him. Movie star or not, he knows they have to be careful about who finds out about Jackson. But apparently, this woman isn’t just pretty, and she seems to pick up on the heavy pause after what she said.

“Do you two know about the place I’m talking about? Are we close?” Joel, sighs, looking at Ellie before making a decision that Tommy is probably going to smack him for later.

“We, um– we’re from there, actually. If you’re talking about where I think you’re talking about.” She huffs out a laugh, and offers them that megawatt smile Joel remembers seeing on his TV screen. Ellie, meanwhile, scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest as she glares at Joel.

“No shit. Do you think you have room for one more?” Joel’s eyes dart once more to Ellie, just seeing the subtle shake of her head, but he chooses to ignore it. How could he say no to the woman who had, embarrassingly, been one of his first wet dreams?

“You’ll have to talk with my brother, but I’m sure you’ll be welcome to stay on.” Megawatt, megawatt, megawatt. He reckons that smile could melt steel beams.

…

“Joel, what the fuck–”

“Ellie–”

“No, what are you thinking? If not Tommy, Maria’s gonna be so pissed she’ll probably cut your balls off.” He shushes the girl, glancing ahead at the woman hiking further in front of them.

“Look, she’s all alone– hardly a threat– and she’s looking for somewhere to stay–” She scoffs.

“Oh, so this has nothing to do with the way your eyeballs practically popped out of your head just looking at her?” He grumbles, hand tightening around the strap of his rifle.

“You just mind your own business, alright? I’ll take care of it.” Ellie huffs, starting to trudge further ahead of him, but not before muttering out “whatever you say, fanboy.” Joel is stunned still by her words.

“Where the hell did you get that word from?” She turns on her heel, walking backwards for a beat as she smirks at him.

“One of those old magazines. Pretty sure she was on the front page if you wanna borrow it.” Before he can get a word in edgewise, she’s already turning back around and continuing their hike back to Jackson.

…

“Holy shit. Joel, look who it is!” Joel grunts, nudging Tommy out of his starstruck stupor.

“Yeah, I know. Just hiked five miles with her.” Tommy laughs, slapping him on the back before grinning at her.

“It’s real nice to meet you. You know, Joel here had your poster on his bedroom wall–” The nudge he gives his brother this time is a little less friendly, causing Tommy to grumble and rub his arm. She, however, takes it in stride, laughing lightly as she shifts in her boots.

“I’m flattered, really. It’s, um, it’s nice to meet you, Tommy.” Tommy’s eyes go wide.

“I can’t believe you just said my name. This is crazy–”

“Tommy.” Joel cuts his brother off with a hard look before he embarrasses himself anymore. He clears his throat, seeming to get a hold of himself as Joel continues.

“She had been traveling with a group, looking for this place. She’s the only one left though. Was hoping to join the town.” Tommy grins again, glancing between her and Joel.

“Well, I’m sure we can make that happen. I think Joel would kill me if I didn’t let–” He squeezes Tommy’s shoulder hard, willing him to shut his mouth. 

“That little house next to ours is still empty. Why don’t we set her up there?” Tommy’s smile at his brother’s words is all too smug for Joel’s taste, but he still nods, turning his attention back to her.

“If that’s alright with you, ma’am. I’ll let the folks know to turn the gas and electric back on for that place.” She smiles brightly at that.

“That would be amazing. Thank you so much. I owe you all big time.” Tommy snorts.

“I’m pretty sure you can pay Joel back with an autograph, he’d probably cre—“ Joel’s heard enough, resorting to kicking Tommy in the ankle to shut him up. Ellie huffs from where she’s watching their pathetic display.

“Alright, well if you two freaks are done making fools of yourselves, I’ll show her over to that house.” 

…

When Joel gets home, the first thing he does is look at that DVD. He had found it a week or two ago on a patrol shift, left in a hollowed-out RV. Ellie was less than impressed and Maria refused to show it at movie night because it’s so gory, but he held onto it anyways. He can still remember going to see it in the theater with Tommy, both of them too young to get in if not for their friend working the ticket booth. He flips the case over in his hands, and sure enough, there she is on the back cover, looking impossibly beautiful while firing a machine gun. What’s not to like, right?

He’s broken out of his revelry by the sound of the front door opening, and soon enough, Ellie is stomping up the stairs to come looking for him. When she finds him in his bedroom, sitting on the end of his bed, she glances at the DVD he’s holding, a grin spreading over her face.

“Just like you remember, huh, old man?” He grumbles, getting up to set the movie back on the bookshelf before turning back to Ellie.

“She settling in alright?” She hums, nodding lightly.

“Yep, made a beeline for a shower. Told me to thank you. I told her you’d be coming around for your autograph later.” His face crumples in indignation while Ellie lets out a cackle.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. But in all seriousness, I think she’s interested– in you– which pains me to even say, but, I figure you deserve to know that the woman of your pubescent dreams was asking questions about you.” Joel’s jaw goes slack, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead.

“She– she was asking about me?” Ellie nods around a smirk.

“Mmhmm. And I told her you’re a grumpy old bum who doesn’t take kindly to strangers.” He huffs, but she laughs again.

“Sorry, kidding again. I didn’t tell her much. Just that you’ll be around. But if I were you, I’d “be around” sooner rather than later, before the rest of Jackson gets a piece of her. Snatch her up before there’s sweeter bait to bite down on, you know?” He thinks briefly that he needs to see just what sort of magazines this kid is reading, because he can’t quite believe what’s coming out of her mouth. He grumbles, shaking his head at her antics.

“There ain’t gonna be any snatching going on. Just mind your–” She huffs, already walking out of his room.

“Mind my business, yeah, yeah, I know. But think about what I said, old man. Better cast your line quick for this one. My guess is you weren’t the only one who had her poster in your bedroom back before.” 

He’s not letting that kid read magazines anymore.

…

When he steps out on his porch later in the afternoon, fully intent on what Ellie has affectionately started calling his “adult nap time,” he’s interrupted by someone calling his name. He catches sight of her sitting on the porch of the little house next door, waving and smiling at him like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“Hey, neighbor.” He tentatively waves back, but that doesn’t seem to satisfy her as she motions for him to join her. He sighs, rather stiffly walking over to her porch and joining her on the bench seat, keeping a very respectable distance between them. Clickers, raiders, general imminent danger, he can handle. Pretty lady? That’s touchy. Pretty lady who he imagined marrying as a teenager? Just put him out of his misery already. He knows it’s ridiculous, that none of that matters now. She’s just as worn and weathered as the rest of them by this crumbled world. But that smile she keeps flashing him might just bring him to his knees.

“I wanted to thank you– for bringing me along. I was, uh, starting to lose hope back there a little bit.” He nods, glancing at her.

“No need for thanks. Just the right thing to do in this world. I’m sorry– about your group. I don’t know what happened, but that couldn’t have been easy being out there on your own.” She shrugs, waving off his sentiment.

“It was barely a group to begin with. Just some folks who happened to get out of the San Francisco QZ together.” His brain is quickly trying to knit together the movie star he remembers from the past and this woman who sits before him now, an obvious edge to her.

“Were you in California? Back when everything…” She nods, her face set in a grim look.

“LA, where else? Now that was a nightmare. I bet the only worse place to be when everything went down was New York. Bodies everywhere. Don’t think I’ll ever forget it.” She lets out a humorless laugh before glancing at him.

“That movie you like so much? I remember when I got the role, I had no idea how I was gonna pull it off. Grizzled heroine with a dark past and a penchant for violence. I was nothing like her. But now, I feel a whole lot more like her and a whole lot less like me.” She sighs, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I dumped that on you.” Joel is quick to shake his head, leaning over his thighs to catch her gaze.

“No, no. I get it– in my own way, I guess. The world changed and– we had to change with it.” That coaxes a crooked smile out of her as she looks at him. A simple silence descends between them as they share quiet smiles. She finally giggles, scrunching her nose at him.

“That girl– Ellie? I think she said something about you wanting an autograph?” Joel can feel the hot blush creeping up his neck as his face goes slack. She just splits out in a laugh, tipping her head back in delight.

“I’m sorry, I’m kidding. But, you know, what I went by, what people still call me, that isn’t my real name.” Joel’s eyebrows quirk up and she sighs, shaking her head.

“Just a stage name. I don’t really mind people calling me that, but can I tell you my real name?” He can feel the smile tugging at his mouth as he nods. Before he knows what she’s doing, she’s taking his hand into her lap, slowly tracing out her name with her finger across his palm. An autograph, of sorts. He’s pretty sure his brain short-circuits, just barely stringing together her name as she finishes. He murmurs it lowly and she offers him her brightest smile yet, still holding his hand lightly in her own.

“And you’re Joel, right?” He’s only a little embarrassed by how quickly he nods.

“Mmhmm. Miller– Joel Miller, yep.” She lets out a breathy laugh, now clasping his hand in a firm shake.

“It’s nice to really meet you, Joel Miller.” 

[buckttommy]

umm. pause. guys. guys. gay tommy has been canon this entire time. what the fuck. like. oh my god. no. like. okay. okay. so. 2x9 (hen begins), sal [deluca] is talking about his girlfriend dragging him to see twilight. he makes a homophobic joke about tommy being team jacob and tommy's like "i don't even know what that means." chimney says "he's insinuating that you're gay" and tommy blows deluca a kiss. fine. whatever. but THEN you skip to 2x12 (chimney begins), and—i stg it's a blink and you miss it moment—tommy and gerrard (racist captain) are having this conversation in the background

tommy: what about that burger place? gerrard: tommy i hate that place. hey wasn't your girlfriend supposed to come and cook us dinner? tommy: uhh. next tuesday. gerrard: promise? tommy: uhh. uh. yes. yeah. i will promise.

and it's like. number one, this sounds like a conversation they've had before. something to the tune of "hey, how come you never bring your girlfriend around" which i can't help but think was intentional considering the members of the old 118 were entirely familiar with deluca's girlfriend gina. but number two, no straight man who has a girlfriend sounds that unsure that they have a fucking girlfriend. it was very much giving "ah yes. this human lady that i love that most definitely exists. absolutely. also i like breasts." and it's just like. ok. what the fuck. like. i don't know if this was the plan all along. i don't think it was. i still maintain buck/eddie were supposed to go canon after the shooting and the powers that be got in the way. but. but. the idea that this canon queer character has been hiding in plain sight (subtext) is just. wild to me. like. i've always headcanoned tommy as gay, mostly because every character he plays seems fruity as hell. but bro. i don't think it's a headcanon anymore. and i don't think it ever has been. what the fuck.

there's also the idea that. like. so i've been watching the begins episodes again trying to figure out what, exactly, tommy's crime against the members of the 118 has been. like. he worked in a -phobic/-cist environment. he was definitely complicit in making hen/chimney feel like outsiders in their workplace yes yes all these things are true. but as far as i can tell, tommy has rarely ever actively been anything except spineless. deluca makes a homophobic joke? tommy laughs. gerrard makes a bunch of sexist and racist comments? tommy looks, but doesn't say anything to encourage (or discourage him). hen gives her monologue? he looks chagrined.

and his complicity would be absolutely shitty and inexcusable if he was just a cishet white man. no questions asked. but if — if — you view his behavior through the lens of the fact that tommy is queer himself? that tommy is, and always has been, a member of a marginalized community who felt it was easier and safer to assimilate than it was to be openly queer and have a target on his back? his behavior becomes a whole hell of a lot more understandable. yes, it's still shitty, but. there's a purpose behind it. and this idea is supported by the fact that, when gerrard leaves (flashing forward to bobby begins again), even before bobby gets there (because we always credit bobby with making the 118 the family it is today), like. the atmosphere is completely different. tommy and hen? are friendly with each other. chimney and tommy? also friendly with each other. which we also know because in 2x14 broken, he calls him up for help. which lends credibility to the idea that the problems tommy had (or thought he had) with henchim were not about them as people but more about whatever manufactured conservative boys club bullshit gerrard fostered.

and it's just like. motherfucker. bitch. what the hell. like. first of all, leave it to 9-1-1 to tell a story like this in the most subtle way possible. like if that was indeed the intended implication, i'm throwing my tv off a bridge immediately. but also. second of all. what is wrong with this show. they're crazy. i want to eat it like a loaf of bread. just shovel it in my mouth because the idea that tommy has been queer all along, that he wasn't brought back just to be a stopgap on buck's queer journey to eddie, but that he's been haunting the edges of the narrative like a gay ghost is sooo like. ohhh. okay. [throws up]. like????? okay. anyway. i'm going to be thinking about this the rest of the day.

[steddieonbigboy]

Equate

written for @steddiemicrofic february prompt ‘edge’ wc: 509 | rated: G | cw: none other than steve being a sportsball enjoyer

🏀 🏀 🏀

"I just don't get how you can be on the edge of your seat over a sportsball game," Eddie frowned, "It's so boring, how d’you get excited over that shit?"

"Eddie, baby, I love you dearly but that is exactly how I feel about your dungeons and dipshits game."

"You know it's dragons, Stevie." He whined, not even trying to hide the pout on his face.

"Do I?"

Eddie hoped the look he gave Steve was as unimpressed as it felt.

"Okay, fine. Dungeons and Dragons. Happy?"

"Eh," Eddie see-sawed his hand as he scrunched his nose, "With the words, yeah. The tone, though? Not so much."

Steve just stuck his tongue out and turned back to the TV, which Eddie thought was kinda rude of him when his question still went unanswered.

"Anyway. Sportsball, boring. You, excited. How? Why?"

"Jesus, Eddie. It's called a hobby. I know you know what that is."

"Thank you, Steven. I certainly am aware of what a hobby is, in fact I may even partake in them from time to time, but what I don't know, is why this is yours?"

"You really need me to explain why I like watching basketball?"

"Yes!"

"Eddie, my love, my life-"

"Please don't fucking quote ABBA at me right now."

"Eddie, the bane of my existence," He raised an eyebrow at Eddie to check whether he found that more suitable and at Eddie's nod continued as if explaining to a toddler, "I like watching basketball because, and I know this might sound like a wild concept, but because I like playing basketball."

"Steeeeve. Baby, I know you like to play the basketball. I don't agree with you, but I understand that. Accept it even. But why do you want to watch someone else play it when you could just go out and you know, do it yourself?"

"Are you saying you'd rather sit in your room alone playing guitar than go to a concert and see a whole band perform?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"It just is," Eddie crossed his arms and tried to keep from whining, "Totally different."

"No, it's not," Steve poked him as he tried to protest, “Me shooting hoops alone and you playing guitar alone equate to the same thing, right?"

"Equate? You need to stop hanging out with Dustin so much."

"Yeah, probably but not the point. The point is they're the same thing. Both of us, on our own, doing something we enjoy and are some level of skilled at, yeah?"

"Fine," Eddie sniffed haughtily, "They fuckin' equate."

"Glad we've established that," Steve smirked, "So therefore, and yes shut up Dustin is a terrible influence, but that means that basketball games and concerts also equate. We get to watch a group of people with more skill, doing something we enjoy, in a way that we will never experience. So, I like watching basketball for the same reason you like going to concerts. It’ll never be us but at least we can imagine it."

"God, I hate it when you make sense."

[ladylooch]

Nico's Best Girl - [Nico Hischier]

A/N: It has been a hot minute since I wrote Nico Smut.. or at least it feels like it? But the people spoke, and they were desperate for Nico and some spanking 🤭 So let me introduce you to Nasty Nico and all the things he does to his beautiful wife on the occasions he comes out.

Word Count: 2.1k

Read more Lexi and Nico Here.

Nico Hischier is so far in my dog house, he can’t even see our house anymore. 

This is a rare occurrence between the two of us, but I’m livid. Seething. Visualizing myself smothering him with a pillow.

Why?

Because he walked into our daughter’s room after his latest road trip and woke her up, then fell asleep next to me. So now, I’m the one up at 5 am in the living room, watching god awful toddler TV and sucking down my second cold brew of the day. Huge bags are under my eyes, purple and blue, for the three hours of sleep I managed to get.

It’s well into the late morning when Nico emerges from our bedroom. I’m still mad, but at least Lucie is taking a nap. My shoulders tighten when he leans down to kiss my head next to my dilapidated bun. He stays there for a moment, breathing in the smell of me after being gone for so long.

“Good morning.” 

“Mmm is it?” I mutter back as I stand. I begin gathering some of Lucie’s toys, starting by putting one of the puzzles back into its home.

“I think so?” Nico wonders. “I am so tired. I might need a nap later.” He says through a huge yawn. I look up at him, scowling at the back of his head. “Where is LuLu?” He asks, scratching at the hairs on his chest. 

“Sleeping.”

“Aww.. I wanted her to nap with me later.” A disgruntled pucker hits his lips. Nico goes to the fridge, pulling out orange juice and pouring himself a glass. I watch him, standing still and flabbergasted in the living room at his lack of attention. He turns back to make eye contact with me as he drinks. “Hm?” He asks between slurps, bushy eyebrows raising in question at me.

“If you ever do what you did last night again, I am going to blow an airhorn in your ear.” Nico pauses from drinking. He seems to take me in more, then grimaces.

“I’m sorry.”

“You think, Nico?” I question, shrugging my shoulders with attitude. He cringes and brings a defensive hand up.

“I’ll make it up to you.” I start grabbing the couch pillows Lucie threw on the floor, tossing them back into their places. I reach for the knitted throw blanket next, beginning to fold it back aggressively. “I missed her so much. I didn’t want to wait until morning to give her a hug.” 

“Well, now I’m missing the five hours of sleep I need to function.” I toss the blanket back onto the ottoman, adjusting the ends so it drapes over the side the way I like.

Nico watches silently from the kitchen while I stalk around the living room, trying to repair the disaster of our living room. My displeasure is obvious. Whenever I glance at him, I can see Nico’s mind calculating which fix he needs to pull out to move us forward.

“Lex.” Nico’s quiet call reaches where I am tucking her Lightning McQueen ride-on toy by the side of the couch. I look up at him and startle. He decided the fix is sexual. “You need me to wake you up?” His voice is husky, gone is the rough coating of sleep, replaced by the burning desire. It’s a reminder of how long that road trip really was- almost two weeks without each other, filled with FaceTime calls that barely grazed over the itch.

“Not sure you can, cap.” I quip back. Nico’s chuckle is low, accepting of my challenge. He pushes off from the kitchen counter. I bite back the desperate whimper in my throat at the sight of his hard cock straining his black pants. My lips part as he stops by the couch. He gestures for me to get on it. My cheeks are pink, eyes wild, chest fluttering as I take slow, teasing steps. 

“The longer you take to get over here, the more angry I’m getting… the harder your lesson will be.” My green eyes sparkle. A slight smirk pulls one side of Nico’s lips up, reminding me he is still there even as Nasty Nico is beginning to take over his body. Nasty Nico doesn’t like when I’m an ungrateful brat. Or when I whine at how hard he fucks me, or pulls my hair, or shoves his fingers into my mouth. He demands for me to be a good girl, his best girl, while I take him so well.

My folds are slick as I come to stand next to him. His hands reach for my big t-shirt- an old one of his he won’t wear anymore, from a playoff series that didn’t result in a cup. The old fabric teases my nipples when his fingers work it over my head. His thumbs come up, probing the puckered skin until I sigh. Nico kisses along my cheek until he gets to my ear. He tugs the lobe with his teeth, then continues with his lips down my throat. 

He lowers himself to the couch. Then he grabs my fingers, tugging me to bend down so he can suck a nipple into his mouth. I grip the back of his head, working to straddle his lap. Nico’s hand wraps around my waist, releasing my nipple. He jerks me forward, pinning me down to his side with my ass in the air. The harsh vibration of skin hitting rips through our living room. I moan, savoring the feel of my ass cheek tingling beneath his hand. His palm rubs over the area, then he digs his fingers in to heartily grip the muscle.

“That what you want baby, hm? You frustrated with me?”

“Yeah, asshole.” I sigh.

SLAP!

“Oh.” I moan. 

“Keep it up.” His tone is searing. He pins me down harder, gripping the waistband of my leggings. I turn my face out of the couch cushion, unable to see him, but the coolness of the room strokes against my wet, pulsing heat. 

His finger prints bleed into my ass, then pull apart my cheeks to hear the crudeness of my wet folds splitting open from his force. Despite his profession, Nico’s hands are relatively soft, no callous or hard points, so the smoothness of his palms over my bare ass have me closing my eyes. It’s a hard distinction, between how good his skin feels on me and how hard his next slap is. I jolt, screwing my eyes tightly shut. Those same fingers get soft again, going to explore my folds. He gathers my wetness on his fingers, then slides his middle finger into my entrance. I’m more than ready and pulse my muscles around him.

“Mmm, greedy girl today.” He stuffs another finger inside, fucking me hard with them as I try to press my hips back into his hand. His thumb rolls over my clit. 

“Cap.” I groan, “want your cock.” My hips buck back, finding enough momentum to thrust his fingers deeper into me. Nico steadies me for a moment, curling his fingers up, rolling them over the velvet spot inside of me. I quiver around his appendages.

“You can have my cock when you cum.” 

Everything gets wetter at his dirty words. Nico's free hand finds my nipple, rolling it between three of his fingers as he fucks me with his hand. I moan, wiggling under his pin and bucking my hips again. Nico lets me this time, groaning as I take over. The distinct slurp of wetness from each rock into him has Nico cooing encouragement to me.

“You looks so sexy right now.” He praises me. 

I moan loudly, then cum. Nico takes over, gently riding me through the orgasm. He pulls his fingers out, releasing me from my position and letting my knees straddle him upright again. I grab his wrist and before he can even demand, I wrap my mouth around his middle finger. The sweet, tanginess of myself explodes in my mouth. Nico’s pupils blow wider at the sight, mouth dropping ajar. I close my eyes and hum. His breathy moan dances across my face. 

“I taste so good for you. Only you.” I confess after finishing his ring finger.

“Mine. Forever.” He grabs the back of my neck to pull me in for a hot, wet kiss. We moan into each others mouthes. Nico helps me work my pants the rest of the way off. Then he drops his sweatpants and underwear to the floor. I watch, intoxicated, as his thighs tighten while stepping out of them. Fuck, I want those thighs slamming into the back of mine.

“Hard, Nico.” I request as he strokes his cock in front of me. The tip of him is swollenly pink, oozing already. “So hard.” I moan as he puts that same head against my clit. He slaps it there. I bruise my bottom lip with my teeth. Another small whimper pushes out. Nico smirks, slapping my clit again. A bead of his pre-cum sticks there, creating a thin line of connection as he pull himself away. 

“My pussy.” He reminds the room as he bottoms out inside of me. I groan at how tight the fit always is at first. He works his way all the way out, then does the same push forward. Nico moans this time. “So wet for me. Know how much you like it when I slap your ass.” 

“Mmhm.” He brings his fingers up oo my mouth, the same ones that made me this wet, and he stuffs them back into my mouth. He watches them slide in and out, pressing down on my tongue as he presses his cock deeper inside of me. 

“Look how good you are for me today. Even though you’re mad at me. Such a good girl, Lex. My perfect wife.” The last praise gets me and I moan loudly through the room. He pulls his fingers out of my mouth, bringing them instead to my clit as he leans farther forward. “Kiss me.” He demands. I curl up, pressing our tongues together, then allowing his to hurriedly enter my mouth. 

“Right there.” I moan, shivering, feeling the tightness in my body coil to an unbearable point. My face scrunches up in pleasure and I put my forehead to his big shoulder as I scream out his name in ecstasy. Bright hot white explodes across my eyelids as Nico fucks me faster and harder. “Oh my god!” I yell, feeling myself tighten up again, instantly. Nico picks me up off the couch, fucking hard and fast. His balls slap against my ass as those powerful, hockey thighs take me to heaven again. This time, he comes too. He curses in his languages, almost dropping me as his powerful orgasm explodes inside of me. His fingers bruise me in his desperate grasp to keep me upright.

A freight train of blood rolls through my ears, trying to regulate me after two incredible, back to back orgasms. Nico lays me on the couch, staying on his knees between my spread legs as he curses again to the ceiling. After a few moments, I hear the faint call of a little girl.

“Daddy?” Lucie’s small voice comes from the monitor in her room.

Nico’s brown gaze come back to me. We are both panting, barely breathing. Lucie cries on the monitor again, then Nasty Nico disappears completely, and in his place is my sweet husband. He reaches from my hips, flipping me so my ass is in the air again. Nico leans down, kissing the red marks he’s left on my flushed skin. Once he is satisfied they have been fully covered with his appreciative mouth, he leans forward, connecting his chest with my back.

“I’ll get her.” He murmurs. “I love you.” He closes his eyes as he says it like a grateful prayer. “You need help getting to our room?”

“Mhm.” I respond. He chuckles, pulling my naked body up into his arms. He hands me my clothes before we move towards the hall. I lay my cheek on his shoulder.

“One minute, LuLu.” Nico sweetly calls to her when we walk past her room. “Gotta take care of my number one girl first.”

“I am not your number one girl.” It’s light hearted and I chuckle as I say it. Nico hates it and makes me look at him.

“What? Yes you are.” Nico is confused. 

“It’s Lucie.” I shrug like it’s obvious.

“No, it is not.” Nico shakes his head insistently. “It’s you, baby. No matter how many girls we have in our life, you’ll always be first.”

I know better than to argue further with Captain Nico Hischier.

[cleolinda]

I am so fucking pissed. We’re hearing forecasts that we might get FIVE FUCKING INCHES OF SNOW overnight from Monday to Tuesday. In ALABAMA, where we have no snow removal equipment. Like I think we got one bag of sand for the whole town. No snow tires, I don’t even know what those are. This isn’t cute “Haha it’s just barely below freezing! Snowball fight!!!” snow. This is 14° Fuck (-11° Come the Fuck On) snow. FIVE INCHES? We get flurries and the city descends into madness.

What if we lose POWER. Everything runs off USB cord stuck in the outlet charging nowadays. This is why everyone used to run out and buy Milk Bread Batteries. Listen. I have this memory of the power going out during this wild snowstorm when I was a kid--I want to say it was Winter Storm '93. Ask anyone who lived in Alabama at the time. Like we had Desert Storm '92 the military operation one year and Winter Storm '93 the next. It was that serious in our minds, and I'm not sure you can blame us:

The storm dumped several inches of snow each hour on Birmingham, which ended up with officially 13 inches of snow.

Due to the high winds some parts of Birmingham reported drifts 5 to 6 feet deep. One state trooper reported that the roads were in the worst shape he had ever seen. "People can't tell what's road and what's not."

Low temperatures during the storm were in the 5-to-10 degree range on that Sunday.

IN A TOWN WHERE WE DON'T KNOW WHAT A SNOW PLOW IS. I think we had one for the entire county. Like I'm only kind of joking here.

And our power went out.

The snow was so heavy that it pulled down power lines either by its own weight, or by the tree branches its weight broke off. Meanwhile, the power at my house already went off every time a squirrel sneezed. I don't how many days this lasted; it was probably like, 2-3 days, but in my head, I was 14 years old boxed up with my family with no heat and it lasted two weeks. Maybe three years. The four of us slept in sleeping bags layered with quilts, huddled on the floor around a wood burning fire. (In the haunted house, no less.) The carpet was really nice, at least. We had a--do people still call them boomboxes? A big portable cassette player--battery-powered--with AM/FM radio. We listened to whatever TV shows were broadcast from the ABC station at night. We did have hot water; I took a lot of hot baths. We cooked food over the outdoor grill (which we moved to the comfortably large area under the deck, to hold off the falling snow), sometimes using aluminum foil as a kind of thin impromptu frying pan, and kept perishables like milk and meat in a cooler. Oh, did we have a bag of ice for the cooler? No, we used snow. God knows there was enough of it. Of course, I'm sure the refrigerator was perfectly serviceable even without power, because it was TEN DEGREES FUCK ALL.

I remember going outside a good bit and playing, as much as a teenager plays, in the snow with my seven-year-old sister. I remember that all the neighborhood kids got big rubber trashcan lids and used them as toboggans, going up to the top of the hill on our street and pretty successfully sledding down. Maybe it was "lmao snowball fight!!" snow when I was 14. I'm 45 now, and the cold makes me hurt. It makes me hurt all over. Maybe Winter Storm '24 will be a fun core memory for my nephew. I am pissed. And also charging all my electronics.

(ETA: It’s ‘24 now, isn’t it. My brain hasn’t clicked the date over yet. What is time.)

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Our Blue and Green World: Part 1: Review [Spoilers]

Welp, here it is, the Wild Kratts TV movie (not to be confused with the feature film they've been teasing us with since 2021). There's been a lot of hype around this special and season, especially with how much the latter was being hyped up during the hiatus. Let's see if the blue and green bros were able to deliver: Spoilers under the cut

Well, this is certainly an attention grabber!

This entire live action intro is shot and edited like an animated Wild Kratts episode, it's glorious.

Woah, intro change!

They said the thing! They said the thing!

HELP THIS IS SO RELATABLE. Also, THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING

Lmao I don't think they do it very often, but using animals/nature in their insults is very creative.

Also, whooping crane episode when?

This entire song is mercifully short. Like most character sung songs in Wild Kratts, it's not good, but this at least is clever in its lyrics and its visuals. It feels like a Disney reference at best and I am content with that. I also ADORED seeing the Draco and Walrus Suit return again. It's arguably the best musical number in the series. No, that is not saying a lot.

MARTIN WHY ARE YOU THE ONE WHO'S MIFFED YOU NEARLY MUFASA'D YOUR LITTLE BROTHER

CHRIS WHY ARE YOU MILDLY INCONVENIENCED YOU GOT ACRAPHOBIA FALLING FROM THAT HEIGHT

When I first saw the clip, I thought that they were going somewhere with this, like they'd activate Peacock Powers at the end when they recognized the compatibility and blue and green. But nope. Wasted potential is an understatement.

Also, where the fuck are they right now? In a previous shot there was Target the Chameleon, implying that they've been to Madagascar, but that is an Indian peafowl, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't live in Madagascar. Were they just having an off-day? These animals have little to nothing to do with the plot when they really shouldn't have, so I don't see why they couldn't have just shown a projector image or something.

Remember when I joked about the Wild Pony Power Suit returning in S7.... fuck you Apollo.

Man, they are eating it up with the animation here. It's hard to tell with screengrabs but man, is it fluid.

The first half of this episode is mixed. While it feels like the brothers are incredibly stubborn, it also does make sense for them to be this fixated on their favorites. So I can totally buy this. It could've been insufferable to watch, but it wasn't.

As if YOU haven't spied on them since the first time your dorito-headed ass showed up on screen

Did you find that funny? Because not only do they do a similar joke like that later on, but they follow through on that joke in the most unexpected way you will shit your pants when you first ingest it.

Oh my god if they make a Creature Power Suit off of that bird, I will take back any diss I've made, that is so beautiful.

Good to know that Aviva put the button near the chest and not near the back.

Maybe it's just me but this is kinda pushing it. Chris is literally getting his organs crushed, I think that should matter more than A) being right or B) trying to get 2 people to stop fighting.

I'm loving the callback and what this leads up to but ew, all this does is remind me about how ugly bright the color pallatte in S6. Really glad they fixed it in S7.

HELL FUCKING YES

This episode finds really unique ways of showing how the two different biomes are interconnected. It's like Rainforest Stew's (very brilliantly handled) message only to a larger degree. Kids can learn a lot from this.

I fucking love this episode, man.

Honestly, the way they write Paisley in the first half of the episode is very in-line with her character. Most shows that do what this episode does has them be out-of-character as a set-up, but here, she's just roasting the fuck out of Zach. Once again, recontextualized entirely in the climax.

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET TO MADAGASCAR FROM THE GODDAMN AMAZON IN ONE AFTERNOON THAT IS LIKE MORE THAN 1,000 MILES AWAY?? ARE ANACONDAS THAT FAST?????

Also, INDRIS!!!!! :D

I was frankly expecting this to horribly backfire but spoilers, it doesn't. This actually winds up working. Common Aviva W.

To be continued.... will the blue and green rivalry end? Will one prove superior over another? And will they be able to stop Zach and Paisley and save the planet earth? And will this change the adventures of the Wild Kratts team forever? Stay tuned for part 2!

Pros:

The live action segments.

The animation of the earth's model.

The musical number not being ass.

Paisely's catty behavior.

The Anaconda Suit.

The inventive ways they show how the stability of the Earth is complex. There are a lot of ways it functions and thus a lot of ways it needs to survive

The comedy.

Cons:

The villains do not do anything until the second half of this episode. In fact, they're left completely in the backdrop. I expected them to make their prescence known and for Aviva to invent the discs to get them together for the SAKE of fighting the villains. But no. It makes the stakes feel hollow, which is the opposite of what they should be gunning for in an hour long special that they hype the shit out of.

CONCLUSION:

It was an "okay" set-up. It did live up to some of the hype it had, but not all of it. Honestly if it wasn't for the second half of this episode, this movie would be mediocre or slightly above average, but no. They do pick themselves off the ground and... they do jump the shark. But we'll get to that next time

[mx-jinxous]

Steve adjusted the clasp on the cloak as he stared over the market stalls. He’d been lucky that the guard they had sent was the same size and wasn’t the brightest. He had feigned falling asleep, which gave him enough time to plan an escape. When the unsuspecting guard had come in with the tray in full armor, it was like the gods were on his side for once. He’d fallen for Steve’s fib, that the chain was biting too tightly into his wrist that it was hurting to eat. Without a second thought, he had unlocked the cuff.

The tray the food came on was the perfect weapon, Steve picked it up and struck while the guard was distracted. He hit the bed, out cold. The young man held his breath for a moment, waiting for the other guards to come running in for their comrade with the commotion the tray had caused. By the second Steve relaxed, the door stayed closed through him stripping the guard down to his undergarments.

It took a little longer to dress in the unfamiliar clothing, but once he got everything situated, he hid his face below the uniform helmet and grabbed the tray. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself before sneaking out, closing the door quickly behind him. He nodded to the two guards as he walked calmly down the hall, sprinting once he rounded the corner.

He went down several stairs and a few corridors before he broke the outside. From there he slipped out through a garden, spotting two children playing amongst the flowers. Before crossing the garden he placed the tray on a pillar, slipping out of the castle walls with surprising ease. To be honest, it nearly was too easy that he thought that the king himself would jump up and attack. Instead, it was a clear path with little to no people on the trail to the village market.

He grabbed a cloak that was hanging unmonitored at a stall as he passed through, blending in the best he could. Currently, he was exploring a jewelry section of the market, trying to find something or someone to remove the bracelet. He’d caught glances and offers, but no magical key. It was a wild goose chase and if he couldn’t find someone to remove it then what were his chances of finding someone to help him home? At least when he was home he had his car to sleep in, here he didn’t even know a place or the currency to get a room.

Maybe his father was right, he’s an idiot that can’t seem to keep himself out of trouble. Somehow he managed to find and get a crush on a stone statue that happened to be alive. Luck was never on his side. It had to be at least after two in the evening and he was going to find shelter for the night. Steve wasn’t worried about food, he’s starved before, but still, life is a real pain in the ass.

“Pst, hey. Kid, you look like you need to lie down.” Steve spun around to find the owner of the voice. Besides him, peeking out from a curtained doorway, was a man with salt and pepper hair. He was around his father's age, yet more weathered than the bastard ever dared to look.

“Ah yeah. I’ve had a long day and honestly, it’s been shitty. To make things worse, I’ve got this stupid bracelet stuck on my skin and no one can get it off.” He unloaded on the guy, trying to remove the bracelet to emphasize the point. He was exhausted, on the run, his body still weak from his sudden illness. Steve just wanted to go home and sleep in his backseat.

“You do seem stressed. Perhaps I can assist you, I do have training involved with enchanted jewelry. Come, my home is open and if you give me the chance to look over it, I may be able to break the enchantment. While you wait I have a free bed.”

Steve stared at the man suspiciously out of the corner of his eye. No one was this kind out of the goodness of their heart, always something on the line. If it was the bracelet, he’d happily turn it over to him and let him deal with the crazy people and stone statue. Still, he was cautious. Steve entered expecting anything but what he saw. It was a living room, minus a tv or anything of value, just a woven sofa and coffee table. The door, a literal board on hinges, slammed behind him causing Steve to jump and turn.

“Apologies.” The man said, walking over to the sofa. “Come, allow me to examine the magic.” He invited Steve to sit, the younger man joining him on the sofa. “My manners seemed to have left me, I am Martin. I study enchantments and other types of magic.” He explained as he manhandled the younger man’s wrist, examining the bracelet. The older man rotated his wrist, fiddling with the clasp and gem while making noise to himself.

Finally, after minutes of the hands-on approach, Martin released his arm. “Strong, ancient magic has bound this to you. May I ask where you acquired it?”

“You wouldn’t believe me. Hell, I don’t believe it and it happened to me.” Steve had to chuckle at his denial. With all that he has witnessed in the last 24 hours, he felt crazy for denying it.

“I have heard many tales in my days, you can hardly surprise this old man.” Said man stood, walking around the home, collecting items. “Humor me?”

“A statue gave it to me.” Martin paused, going silent.

“You mean you stole it from the statue?”

“No. The statue came to life, stuck it on my wrist, then took me captive. I’ve been stuck with it since.”

“I see. It sounds like a golem, an enchanter tasked with missions. The magic keeps stationed and once they have accomplished said task then they just crumble. Perhaps you were supposed to bring the bracelet to a new owner. Once I get it off I will study the magic properties.” Martin returned to the sofa, a basket filled with various items. There were bowls, bags of powders, gems, and a sharp blade.

“Alright, lay your arm down. I will try to remove the stone first, if that is the source of the magic then the bracelet should come off without a problem.” Martin explained, picking up the blade.

“Woah! Woah! Can we maybe not use a knife to test this? I do want to keep my limbs.” Steve yelled, pulling his arm back, but that seemed to sour Martin’s temperament. What followed pushed the younger man into an adrenaline haze. The older man charged with the knife, slashing through his arm. He didn’t have time to react to the blade's burn as it returned, meeting the gemstone instead of flesh.

When the steel met the stone a blast forced both men back, Martin flying back into the sofa that gave away from the impact. Steve stumbled back into the drapery, barely able to recover before the man came charging again. The younger threw the curtains at the man, giving him a moment to grab the rod to defend himself.

When his parents had been pressuring him into being a child prodigy they put him through an extensive baseball training camp, until they realized his only gift in the sport was his swing. Sure the three got on like a house and fire, yet he was silently thanking them as the brass rod met its target. There was a sickening crack and specks of blood as it impacted Martin’s face and Steve knew a nose wasn’t supposed to look like that, but it gave him the chance to escape.

With the rod gripped in his hands he sprinted to the door, throwing it open and running out into the market. He looked around for an escape path, but it seemed his path was blocked by people and an overwhelming appearance of guards. Steve Turned to run back to the other side of the market, but came face to face with Martin exiting his home, drenched in blood with his knife. He looked crazed, aiming his anger at Steve. As he took a step towards the young man, vines shot past him, wrapping around the threatening man. His head spun as the guard that had tried to interrogate him at the castle stepped up.

“Well, this is an absolute surprise,” Gareth said, eyes on Martin, hand grasping to the end of the vines. “We come in search of an escaped thief and come in contact with an old friend..” His tone reflected anything but friendliness, in fact, his smile was more of a scowl. “Hello Brenner. The guards and the king have been just dying to see you. Should have known your greed would send you our way.”

Steve took a step back, brain wanting to flee before the man snapped his attention to him. “Do not try to flee, I would rather lead you in shackles than a vine cage like this damned bastard.” He held up his free hand, shackles dangling.

They stared at one another, Steve weighed his options. One led to p; possible freedom, but if he moved one inch he’d be dressed up like a Christmas present. With a sigh, the man dropped his head and bared his wrists. “See, not so hard Mr. Rabbit-Hat.” Gareth made the snide comment while another guard took the shackles and fastened them awkwardly above the bracelet. “Now if Brenner had your self-preservation. Load them into the tumbleweed. We have a long journey ahead and I would like to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

With a harsh shove, Steve was loaded into the caged wagon, Martin being thrown in behind him. He was still bound, one gagging him leaving him to stare daggers at the younger man. He just huffed and rested back against the bars, letting his body relax as much as possible with the rocking of the wagon. It lulled him, letting his eyes shut before drifting, only to be jerked back by the cart stopping. Opening his eyes he was greeted with the sight of the castle and the last place he wanted to be, the home of the last person he wanted to see. The sunset was bouncing off of Martin’s bound body as they were removed from the cage.

The guards took the old man out first before dragging Steve out. He was groggy, nearly tripping over his own feet as he was paraded through the garden filled with children and servants. Martin was taken somewhere else while Steve was led into the castle, directly to the throne room. Standing before the stairs of the throne, the person that started this whole mess, a smirk plastered on his face.

King Kas stood proudly before him, giving him the chance to study the fleshier person. His hair was pinned up aside for two strands that framed his face, long, dark, and wavy, unlike the marble statue. His skin was fair and his brown eyes were just as lively and warm, inviting as they had been before. He was adorned in jewelry, much of what had been stolen by the thieves, aside from the bracelet.

He expected threats or a fight that would end up with his hand severed, or even his death. Instead, the king waved over a guard, having the bloodied shackles removed. Kas pushed his sleeve up, tsking at the sight of the angry cut. “I must admit, you are a surprising case. You climb from the family vault, wearing my family's bracelet, knocking out one of my guards, and escaping, then, after getting out to the market, you led Martin Brenner into capture. It has been quite the adventure and I would like to pay you back for bringing that dangerous man in. Hand over the bracelet, and allow you a night in the castle before sending you on the way. Joyce will see to your wound before you leave.” He was snarky. That’s what Steve noticed first, which didn’t help his attitude as he glared at the king.

“I can’t.” He grumbled, staring the man down.

“Cannot or will not?”

“I can’t! It’s stuck on my arm.”

“Magically adhered, your majesty. I did look it over while he was recovering.” Joyce spoke up, standing off to the side with the rest of the court. “This will not be a simple removal. I recommend having different magi look over the magical signature, and to do that you will have to stay.”

Frustration was building in Steve. He was going to be forced to stay in the place with his abductor, he was going to lose his job, and if he ever was able to leave he probably wouldn’t have a car. All of this happened because he had to make goo-goo eyes at an abnormally hot statue. A momentary dick over-brain slip caused him this living hell. His mind was bouncing around, between every regrettable decision that finally came to head when Kas had to have the last word. “Well, that is the universe punishing a thief.”

Like the break of a string, Steve snapped. His fist met the king’s cheek, sending the slightly older man stumbling back. Gasps resounded from around them, the guards reacting and binding Steve’s arm behind his back, but that didn’t stop the bite that came with the anger. Kas recovered quickly, glaring at the young man, ignoring the blood dripping from his lip.

“It’s your fault! You’re the one who put it on my wrist and locked me in that coffin! Don’t you dare try and blame me for this mess!”

“Lies! I do not even know your name! Guards, lock him in the guest room until he has calmed down for treatment!” Kas barked and trudged out of the room. Gareth followed him to his bed chambers, locking themselves in the room. The guard took a wet cloth from the basin, dabbing it over the king's lip.

“That man has a death wish. He is lucky Chris did not flay him. I do not understand his motives, but regardless of it, best to keep wary of him.” Kas hummed in agreement, fiddling with his pendent, spacing off as he looked at the doors. A scoff left Gareth before he smacked the king upside the back of the head, earning a yelp. “Are you seriously daydreaming about a thief that attacked you!?”

“Fucksake Gare! It is not my fault he happens to be a handsome man.” Kas huffed, crossing his arms.

“You can not be serious Eddie. You have the most absurd attractions.” He groaned.

“oh like you have the room to complain Gare. I recall hearing you in the middle of trysts with Andrew. The things you were begging for should have been transcribed by poets.” A pillow met Kas’ face, a snorted laugh escaping him as the two tussled.

“Why do I even try to care, you have always been the one to poke a bear.” The young guard scoffed, only for the pillow to greet his face. A loud, triumphant laugh echoed through the room. It was cut off once more when Gareth tackled the king, the two scuffling like children, the tension leaking out of the air as they ignored the elephant in the room.

——————————————

I believe I have figured a way to track this story with the increasingly growing tag list. I am going to make a custom tag below SetinStoneSteddie. You can follow the tag to keep up with the story :)

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[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Baby Daddy chapter 5

Note: last chapter! tied in request by @synindoodles, I hope you'll like it as you gave me a lot of freedom really. chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4.

Warnings: fluff/suggestive/angst.

pairing: modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: You and Sihtric needed some counselling to work things out.

wordcount: 5k

Masterlist

The Counselling.

To no one's surprise, you and Sihtric remarried several months after you had divorced the other Dane, Sigtryggr. You certainly felt bad for your second ex-husband, as he had treated you with nothing but love and respect, but your heart simply belonged to your first ex-husband, who was now your husband again.

To everyone's surprise, things seemed to work out rather well between you and Sihtric this time, as years had passed and you were still together. Of course, you still had misunderstandings, disagreements and you argued occasionally, but it was way better than it used to be as you had both learned a lot. Sihtric still struggled to communicate at times, and you still made quite the mess of the house, mainly the kitchen. But you were both determined to make it work, just like you had promised each other. Not just for yourselves, but for Odin too, your now sixteen year old son.

'I don't know, pookie,' Sihtric sighed as he looked at the webpage you showed him, 'are we doing that bad?'

'No, Siht, not at all,' you said and sat down across from him in the kitchen, 'but I don't want us to ever get that bad, so I think it's not a bad idea.'

'I thought marriage counselling was like a last resort?' Sihtric remarked and sipped his coffee, then he leaned back and raked his tattooed fingers through his long, loose, messy hair.

You loved the contrast between his rather rough looking face and haircut, and his expensive, black v-neck sweater with some designer jeans underneath. Financially, things were going great, but romantically things definitely needed to improve.

'Well, for many people it is a last resort,' you agreed and closed the laptop, 'but why not give it a chance? I mean… don't you also feel that there is a distance between us lately?'

Sihtric looked down at his cup and shrugged lightly.

'I guess,' he said softly, 'maybe. Sometimes I just feel… nevermind.'

'No, tell me,' you encouraged him and reached for his hand across the wooden dinner table, 'talk to me.'

'No, it's… it doesn't matter,' he smiled weakly, not knowing how to express his fear of losing you again, 'maybe you're right, maybe it's not a bad idea.'

And with Sihtric's approval, you booked the counselling appointment. What Sihtric didn't know was that it wasn't just a one time appointment, but a whole retreat. A whole week. And you sort of forgot to mention that until one day before you had to leave, at least, that is what Sihtric claimed. You had told him, but he hadn't listened. Everything was arranged already; the trip, your stay, and Odin staying over at Finan for the time being. But the news came as a shock to Sihtric.

'A week?!' Sihtric stared at you with wild eyes, 'what do you mean a whole week? I don't want to be stuck in some… some…' he waved his hands around, 'prison for couples for a week!'

'You think marriage counselling is like prison?' you asked bitterly.

'No! But- but, gods, you could've told me this before!'

'I told you!'

'You didn't!'

'I did!'

'You did not!'

'For fuck sakes!' you yelled, 'this is exactly why we need a whole damn week there!'

'Yeah, well, make it a month,' Sihtric huffed as he stormed off to the bedroom.

And not much later you also stomped your way up the stairs and found Sihtric sitting on the bed, and it didn't take long before you sat on top of him, naked, making it up to each other… again.

'And this is where you will be staying,' a friendly lady named Eadith said as she showed you your luxurious room.

You and Sihtric looked around the large room, which had a king size bed, a big tv with a cosy looking couch in front of it, as well as a spacious bathroom with a heart shaped jacuzzi. You thanked Eadith kindly for the tour and short introduction, and you had about an hour to get ready for the first real counselling session of the week. 

Each day you would have a different sort of session, which should eventually bring you and Sihtric closer again, as well as hopefully sort out the issues you two always had ever since you got together. And today, you would be meeting with Doctor Beocca for your first session..

'Hi, welcome,' Beocca said, 'please, take a seat.'

You and Sihtric sat next to each other, and you both shifted a little nervously on the couch as Beocca took his time to open his laptop and started typing.

'So,' the doctor said after a moment, 'this is the first session each couple here takes part in. I am here to paint a picture of where exactly your relationship is at, its problems and what kind of sessions you will need to improve the marriage. So my first question to you both is; why are you here?'

'Well,' you began, as Sihtric looked at you, 'I wanted to do this retreat because there is a distance between us. It's not too serious yet, I think at least, but I want to prevent us splitting up… again.'

'Again?' Beocca asked.

'Yes, eh,' you chuckled awkwardly, 'we divorced once, then we both married someone else who we also divorced, and then we married each other again.'

'Oh,' Beocca said, and he started to type on his laptop, 'I see. How long was your first marriage?'

'Eh, we split up about two years after we got married, but we didn't finalise the divorce until…,' you looked at Sihtric, 'how much later?' 

'I'm not sure anymore,' Sihtric confessed.

'O…kay,' Beocca sensed you both weren't able to fully recall it anymore, 'we'll just focus on the two years then. So you split up after two years, then what happened?'

'Well, we still tried to do family things with our son,' you said, 'so we saw each other often. But we'd always end up arguing and after that we'd make up again, you know, with… sex,' you cleared your throat, 'and at one point we got back together again.'

'For less than a day,' Sihtric added.

'A day?' Beocca frowned.

'Yeah, then we had a big falling out-' Sihtric continued.

'There was an incident,' you interrupted your husband.

'An incident?' the doctor asked, 'what-'

'It was an accident,' you said.

'She fell off the stairs,' Sihtric said, 'which was kind of my fault, but-'

'She,' Beocca looked at you, 'you fell off the-'

'It really was an accident, I wasn't injured badly or anything,' you quickly said.

'No, but you did call Sigtryggr for help,' Sihtric scoffed and crossed his arms.

'Sigtryggr?' Beocca looked confused.

'I was hurt, Sihtric,' you rolled your eyes, 'and I needed comfort.'

'Wait, who is Sig-' Beocca tried, but you both didn't hear him anymore.

'Was his cock comforting enough?' Sihtric gave you a bitter look.

'Oh, please!' you hissed, 'nothing happened between us that day. He only take us for ice cream-'

'Oh, yeah, that's right!' Sihtric looked at Beocca, 'some strange man took my wife and my then five year old son for ice cream, after I was kicked out of the house.'

'Odin was four,' you corrected him, 'and Sigtryggr wasn't a strange man-'

'Who is-' Beocca tried again, to no avail.

'Oh, he wasn't a stranger because you met him in a bar the same night we met, which was years ago by then?' Sihtric asked, heated.

'Sihtric, please,' you rubbed your eyes, 'I had met up with Sig befo-'

'Sig,' Sihtric mocked the name.

'I met up with him before, and you know that because you read my texts!'

'You- you read your wife's texts?' Beocca asked.

'We were split up,' you said, 'I wasn't really his wife anym-'

'Yeah, I read my wife's texts,' Sihtric talked over you, 'because she left her phone in the kitchen and I just happened to see the message come in.'

'And you decided to freak out over it,' you sighed.

'I did not freak out-'

'You squished a juice pack-'

'It was a kid's juice pack, doctor,' Sihtric informed the wide-eyed man.

'That doesn't matter!' you yelled.

'Okay, okay!' Beocca's voice suddenly rolled through the, previously, zen room like thunder, 'I need you both to please stop talking.'

You and Sihtric both looked at Beocca and clenched your jaw at the same time. Then Beocca got up from his chair and grabbed a stuffed Hello Kitty plushie from a shelf, which he handed to Sihtric, who looked confused at the doctor while you snorted.

'Usually,' Beocca grumbled, 'this technique is used for children,' he sneered, 'whoever holds the stuffed animal gets to talk!'

You and Sihtric nodded in agreement, and you both felt like toddlers again.

'Okay,' Beocca sighed, 'Sihtric, please tell me what happened. How did you get back together before the incident, or accident, whatever, and what happened after that?'

Sihtric cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

'So,' he began, 'it was our son's birthday party that day. I was there too, naturally, and when I went to get a juice pack for my son, I saw her phone screen light up. Of course I looked at it, like everyone would,' he glanced at you for a split second, 'and saw the text was from someone I didn't know, this guy called Sigtryggr, and it said how he was planning on meeting up with my wife again.'

'And how did that make you feel?' Beocca asked, and you chuckled and rolled your eyes.

Sihtric looked at you again, but averted his eyes when you looked up at him.

'I was hurt,' he said quietly, 'and angry. I still loved her,' he swallowed hard, 'I always loved her.'

'And yet you were in your whore era,' you spat.

'No!' Beocca snarled, 'do not speak!'

'Sorry,' you mumbled.

Beocca nodded at Sihtric to continue.

'I was hurt. And I know we were not really together anymore, but I couldn't stand the thought of my wife with someone else,' Sihtric said, 'yes, she's right, I was seeing other people too. Hurting myself in the process, but I only did it because I tried to forget her. I know it wasn't fair of me to get angry that she was seeing someone too.'

'And what happened then?' Beocca asked.

'I confronted her, and we… we,' Sihtric cleared his throat, 'we had sex. Good sex,' he suddenly grinned, 'and by the end of the day we were together again. Then the next morning we got into an argument, again, I walked away and we argued on the stairs. When I tried to walk away again she wanted to take my hand,' Sihtric said and paused.

'Go no,' Beocca encouraged him.

You saw Sihtric's fingers tightened around the Hello Kitty plushie and, to your surprise, when you looked up at him you saw his eyes were teared up.

'I- I flinched,' Sihtric said, quietly, and his voice trembled, 'because I pulled away, s-she lost her balance and she f-fell down the stairs. I- I tried to grab her but-' he choked up and stopped talking.

'I see,' Beocca said softly as he started typing, 'and clearly you are still upset about that.'

'I never wanted to hurt her,' Sihtric sniffled and wiped his tears before they could fall down, 'but of course she was spooked after it happened, as was I, and she… she kicked me out. She wanted the key to the house back, which I gave her, and then I… I left.'

You fought your own tears and reached for Sihtric's hand, giving him a comforting squeeze before the Hello Kitty plushie landed in your hands.

'After Sihtric left,' you told Beocca, 'I called the guy I had gone for a drink with before that birthday party happened. His name is Sigtryggr, and he helped me out that day, after I fell. Nothing happened between us then. But he did accidentally meet our son.'

You explained the rule you and Sihtric had about introducing new people to your son, and then you told the doctor about how you and Sihtric ended up together again for a night, only to fight again and finally get divorced. You told him that Sihtric got married again at some point, only to divorce two months later, and your husband had nothing to add to that.

'Then I got married to Sigtryggr and ended up having sex with Sihtric on my wedding day,' you said, deadpan, 'I divorced Sigtryggr a few days later, married Sihtric again a few months later, and then things went up and down but we stayed together and, I think we just got stuck in a rut, you know? And now we're here, to finally sort things out and to not create more distance between us.'

Beocca stared at his word document, apparently the old man was speechless. He didn't directly say this was one of the wildest stories he had ever heard, but you knew that's what he meant anyway. Despite the story being so wild it would make for a good work of fiction, Beocca promised he'd have a plan ready by tomorrow morning.

And you went to have dinner at the resort's restaurant, before you went back to your room, where you both felt so drained by the conversation with Beocca that you fell asleep together before it was even ten in the evening.

'Bonding?' Sihtric frowned as he looked at the scheduled session the next morning.

You had only just woken up when you saw that Beocca had emailed you the week's planning. Sihtric rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and yawned after he handed you your phone back, and he sat up in bed next to you.

'I also don't know what we'll be doing,' you said, 'I just hope we don't have to talk the whole time like yesterday.'

'Me neither,' Sihtric sighed, 'I mean, it was good to get that all out to someone I suppose, but yeah,' he chuckled, 'I still feel drained.'

'Me too,' you chuckled.

You looked at your husband as he was trying to wake up, and you felt a smile tug at your lips at the sight of his bare, muscular torso and his messy hair. You both had aged a bit, but he still looked so damn good, even when he didn't try. 

'Come here,' you smiled and pulled Sihtric close, then pecked his cheek, 'I love you, sweetheart.'

'I love you too, pookie,' he said and squeezed you in his strong arms, before he kissed your cheek and leaned back, holding your face in his hands, 'we're going to work this out, I promise.'

'I know,' you placed your hands on his, 'I know we will.'

'Welcome,' a soft-spoken lady smiled, 'my name is Thyra, and I will guide your bonding session.'

You and Sihtric both smiled a little nervously again, and Thyra quickly explained what today's session was going to be like.

'So you will sit together in the lotus position-'

'What?' Sihtric snorted, 'eh…'

'Oh, no, no,' Thyra laughed, 'yes, like the sex position, but you will not have intercourse.'

You both chuckled with relief, and slight disappointment, and got in the position as Thyra explained how this should bring you closer together.

'Okay, wrap your arms around each other and hold each other close, then close your eyes,' Thyra said as she sat down, a few comfortable paces away from you.

You did as you were told and easily melted into each other's arms, as you buried your face in Sihtric's neck, and he moved one hand up into your hair, gently resting on the back of your head, holding you close.

'I will ask questions, and you will answer to your partner, so not to me,' Thyra said, 'I will be able to hear your answers, but I will not interfere unless it's needed.'

You both hummed in agreement as you were still wrapped around each other, and Thyra began her session.

'First I want you to focus on each other's breathing, until you both breathe in sync. Become one,' her soothing voice sounded.

You focused on Sihtric's breathing, your chest pressed against his, and you gradually started to find a comfortable breathing pace to keep up with.

'Now, open your eyes and look at each other,' Thyra said, 'and keep your eyes locked when you answer the questions, even if it's strange or uncomfortable. What made you fall in love with each other?'

Sihtric gave you a soft nod, allowing you to go first while you stared into his mismatched eyes.

'I fell in love with your appearance first,' you said softly, 'and I liked your energy and the way you made me instantly feel safe when we met.'

'Naturally I fell for looks first too,' Sihtric smiled faintly, 'when you looked at me, I just felt some sort of… as if I had found something that was missing.'

You felt yourself blush and pouted at Sihtric's sweet answer.

'I never invited anyone to go home with me after I just met them,' you said, 'you were the first guy I took home, without really knowing you. It just felt like we belonged together, and I couldn't let you go.'

'I felt the same, pookie,' Sihtric smiled and cupped your cheeks, 'there was no denying that we felt like we should be together.'

'Very good,' Thyra said, 'now, what four personality traits of your partner are your favourite?'

'I love how passionate you are, and fun-hearted,' you said, 'and how you're protective and actually quite romantic at times.'

'And I love how caring and considerate you are,' Sihtric whispered, 'and how honest you are, and passionate too.'

'Thanks,' you whispered with rosy cheeks, and Sihtric bit down on his lip with a smile.

'I really want to kiss you, pookie,' he whispered, thinking Thyra wouldn't hear it.

'You can,' Thyra said from across the room, 'pretend I'm not here, please, unless you'll take it too far. I'm not watching you two,' she chuckled, 'I'm making notes. The whole purpose of this session is to feel close, so if you want to kiss, hug, nuzzle, go right ahead.'

Sihtric was fast to pull your lips to his, and he captured you in a sweet, gentle kiss.

'I love you,' he smiled against your lips, 'so fucking much.'

'And I love you too,' you breathed, 'so much.'

After Thyra had given you a moment, she continued.

'What physical features are your favourite?'

'Boobs,' Sihtric couldn't resist his first answer, and you couldn't help but laugh at this boyish response.

'Nah, seriously,' Sihtric composed himself, 'your body is fantastic, love, you know I think you look perfect. But, I love your smile,' he said, 'it always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you smile at me. But, again, I love everything about your appearance, your face, your hair, your hands… gods, your hands, it's like you can heal anything with a simple touch sometimes.'

'Your eyes,' you blurted out immediately, 'I love your eyes.'

Sihtric smiled and struggled to keep his eyes locked with yours, as he felt his cheeks heat up again, and he mumbled a shy 'thanks'.

'And I love how you look ridiculously good with every haircut,' you chuckled and pushed a strand of his loose hair behind his ear, 'I love your face, I know that sounds stupid probably, but… the sharp features, your eyes, your lips, the facial hair, and your scars,' you sighed, 'everything about your appearance is just… perfect to me. There is nothing I'd change, Siht, nothing.'

'Good,' Sihtric smiled, 'I'm… I'm glad to hear that.'

'You thought I'd want to change something?'

Sihtric shrugged lightly, 'Maybe… maybe my scars.'

'No,' you cupped his cheeks, 'I wouldn't change anything,' you said, and pulled him in for a kiss, 'you're perfect.'

'You're perfect too.'

'Good, good,' Thyra continued, 'what is something you need from your partner, this can be physical or emotional.'

'I need you to communicate more,' you said, 'you're already doing so much better than years ago, but it's still not enough often. I know it's hard for you, but you need to tell me when things aren't going the way you like it, or when things are difficult or when you're hurting. I don't want you to be ashamed to open up and tell me what you need or want. All you have to do is talk, communicate your feelings and needs. That's really what I need from you.'

Sihtric nodded and swallowed hard.

'I know, sweetheart,' he said, 'I know. But I just,' he teared up, 'I just need you to understand… that when I grew up, there was no… no space for me. No one cared about my needs. And,' he took a deep breath to compose himself, 'I'm really trying…'

'I know you are,' you reassured him, 'and you're doing really well, but this is just me wanting to encourage you to try and be even more vocal and clear. I know your past is different from most people, but I also hope that you truly understand and feel that things are different now too in our own family. You have people around you now who do want to hear you and help you.'

'I guess… maybe sometimes I don't feel that,' Sihtric confessed, 'sometimes when things don't go your way, you get angry. And I'm the same,' he chuckled, 'but then I shut down and run, because I don't know how to solve it or how to say things.'

'We can solve things by talking and listening,' you caressed his cheeks with your thumbs, 'and you're right too. Sometimes I struggle to understand your behaviour and I agree that I should do better. I know I can do better, and I'll work on that.'

'I'd like that,' Sihtric smiled, 'and I'll try to open up more.'

'I'd like that too.'

'Very good,' Thyra said, 'you two are doing really great.'

You and Sihtric smiled at each other, and he couldn't resist stealing another kiss from your lips.

'My next question is usually if you are still attracted to each other, but I think we can skip that,' she chuckled, 'the next question is if you are satisfied with your intimacy.'

'Ehh, for the most part,' you said hesitantly.

'For the most part?' Sihtric raised an eyebrow.

'Well, I'd just like it if, you know, we could have a bit more slow and sensual moments, instead of just going at each other like savages,' you laughed, 'which is great too, don't get me wrong.'

'No, I get it,' Sihtric chuckled, 'you're right. We often go for quickies lately, it's been a while since we really took our time… or weren't angry.'

'Exactly,' you agreed, 'I'd like it if we could make time again. I know things changed too as Odin grew up. But he's often not home these days when we are, so I'm sure we could figure this out.'

Sihtric agreed, and in truth, he wanted nothing more than to pick you up and carry you back to the room you stayed at, to have that slow and sensual sex you both needed and agreed on. But the session wasn't over yet. And everything went well, until Thyra asked if you ever felt cheated on by your partner.

'No,' you answered.

'Yes,' Sihtric said.

'What? Why?' you asked, 'everything I did with someone else was when we were split up. Sigtryggr and I weren't exclusive when I still saw you, before you and I divorced, and never agreed on being exclusive either then. I really only cheated on him, actually, with you.'

'I know,' Sihtric sighed, 'but… I always felt married to you. I- I always felt horrible when I was with someone else, even though we agreed to split up, in my heart I was still married. I always felt like I was cheating on you. And, I know it's not fair, but therefore it also felt like you cheated on me.'

'I'm sorry you felt that way,' you said, 'but I thought we both were clear about the fact we were not together anymore back then.'

'We were, pookie, but y-you're not listening to me now,' Sihtric struggled, 'I'm not saying that you cheated on me, because you didn't. We never cheated on each other,' he stared into your eyes, 'but to me it always felt like we did.'

'Sihtric,' you said with sadness in your voice, 'and that all leads back to communication again. You should've said something back then.'

'I know. I just didn't know how,' he said, 'maybe because I knew no one did anything wrong, but still…'

'It happened, we can't change that anymore. But I'm sorry if I made you feel cheated on. Do you trust me now?' you asked.

'I do,' Sihtric smiled softly, 'I trust you, I do.'

'Okay, good,' you pecked his lips, 'because I trust you too.'

After the intense bonding session, which actually brought you and Sihtric closer together right away, you finally had that slow and sensual sex, just before you went for dinner. You and Sihtric felt more at ease and more connected than ever before, as you both finally seemed to have a better understanding of each other. 

The next day you had a meditation session, which would make you tap into your previous lives. And you had both been sceptical going in, but you were both shocked by the end of the day, when you discussed your results and discoveries during dinner.

Apparently Sihtric was a medieval warrior and a Dane, who fell in love with a Christian "witch". The woman wasn't really a witch, she was just a healer. But the townspeople didn't trust her because of her "healing powers" and ended up burning her alive in her home when she was asleep, while Sihtric wasn't home, as he was preparing for battle. And when he returned home, to a burned down hut and a dead wife, the townsfolk captured him and tortured him, by cutting out his tongue, as they feared he might be able to curse them, and then they killed him. They had only been together for a year, and died young.

'There is no way,' Sihtric said when he looked at your papers, which had your previous life written on it, 'you were a healer and you died in a fire?'

'I guess we really are connected,' you said, after you had read Sihtric's story.

You had to admit you felt just as spooked as Sihtric upon this reveal, but it did make sense as to why you felt you belonged together. And maybe it was also why you got back together again each time you had split up. Something primal inside you kept pulling you back towards each other.

'Maybe we struggle because now that we're actually together for a long time, longer than in our previous lives, we just don't know where to go?' you thought out loud, 'and you struggle to communicate because your tongue was taken.'

'Gods,' Sihtric scoffed, and he ordered another glass of whiskey when a waiter walked by.

'You know,' he then said, 'our home in that life was so messy too,' he chuckled, 'herbs and flowers and spices everywhere…'

'Just like our kitchen now,' you smiled and shook your head lightly, 'I can't believe this.'

'Me neither,' Sihtric said, 'but… it does make sense. And I guess it gives some clarity too, as to why I am possessive and protective at times, maybe more than I should sometimes.'

'And why I keep believing we can work this out, because I just know we can heal.'

With the newfound knowledge and mutual understanding, the last few days of the retreat went by fast. You had one day on which there was no session planned, and you ended up spending all day together in bed, only getting dressed to go out and get some food. And the fire between you and your husband was as bright as it was when you just got together, the first time. 

The day after that, you had a session which consisted of doing an escape room together. It seemed like a pointless game, but it was a test to see if you had already learned to listen and communicate better. And to both your surprise, you solved the escape room without ever raising your voice at each other or getting irritated by your partner, so the retreat proved to be successful once again.

On the last day you had another conversation with Beocca, to see if there had been any progress, and he had been pleasantly surprised by the positive changes he saw. There was no need to pull out the Hello Kitty plush this time, and he said you both seemed more in love and calm, to which you agreed.

'But don't forget that you will still be challenged once you're back home again, back in your daily routine,' Beocca said, 'it is okay to argue and disagree, as long as it's a healthy amount.'

'I know,' you said, and Sihtric agreed, but you were both confident everything would be okay.

And you were right. 

Back home again, things definitely went better. Sihtric opened up more and you paid more attention to his needs, when he finally communicated them with you, and you became closer as a family again, which is all Sihtric ever wanted. 

And as your wedding anniversary was approaching, you and Sihtric decided to renew your vows. The last time you got married to Sihtric you had kept it small, with just your son present and a handful of friends, as everyone was sick and tired of going to weddings by then, but now that everything was finally going as it should, you agreed to throw a big party. 

And at the night of your anniversary party, you ended up in the venue's restroom with Sihtric again. Except this time, before you pulled each other's clothes off, you made sure that all the toilet stalls were empty.

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1 @moonchildrenandflowercrowns @foxyanon @djarinsgirl27 @sigtryggrswifey

[tenok]

Still fuming about «Crowley’s so queer it makes Aziraphale looks straight» take. I saw some people saying «queer is not a political identity» as an argument against it... and actually I disagree. Queer is an identity that’s as much about politics and community as is about gender and orientation. «Queer as in fuck you» indeed! And while I’m pretty sure that if you’ll ask Aziraphale he will say that he’s queer because mentally he still in times where it was term preferred by community as whole (or he’ll say that «gay» is his gender because he still links gender and orientation together and it’s a habit thats hard to break), I’ll argue that he’s definitely queer by definition. And I won’t say that one of them more or less queer, I want to vomit just from thinking this, but he and Crowley definitely different flavors of queer; and the point is community.

See, the Crowley we see is not the very community-oriented being. He despises angels and demons alike, he’s not close with humans, through whole series we saw him connected with Aziraphale, maybe Warlock, Shadwell to some point and only as a subordinate he’s not really interested in (Aziraphale actually remembered all the names of soldiers Shadwell pulled from his ass, on the other hand [book, also in script if I remember correctly]). But for Aziraphale community is the whole deal. He links himself to communities: community of book collectors, for example ([in book at least]), community of angels (even in season two he regretfully said that he misses reporting back to his lot), as soon as he put his roots there he become part of British and specifically London community (immediately clocked as British by everyone, for better or for worse). And he’s clearly consider himself and considered by others as part of queer community. For example:

He’s clocked as specifically effeminate gay man (which is part of queer umbrella oh my god stop misuse of political slogans gay are not some kind of others that are lesser for being gay!!!) by everyone, to the point of getting called homophobic slurs (twice in book, once in series) and being targeted by literal Nazis. He’s not arguing or denying, he reclaims it: he’s not calling himself gay, he’s proudly declaring that he’s THE southern pansy (not very «hurray establishment» of him hmmm?). He looks so gay and safe that cemetery man from season 2 doesn’t see a problem in telling him he uses grindr!

Tied to this: he can present as anyone else, he chooses to look soft, gay, effeminate, he chooses to make silly sounds and flamboyant gestures, and as soon as he gets comfortable he likes to go a little campy (can you imagine Crowley in ribbons and frills? do we see male-presenting Crowley in pink silky shoes? would he fight to the death before you put him into pencil-drawen moustache and bright cape with shiny starts? yes he’s GNC! there’s more then one way to be GNC and one is not better then other because it’s in black and sexy!). I’ll argue that him choosing one comfortable presentation and stick to this is no less groundbreaking by heavens standards then «hoarding all the genders» since he’s not treats his corporation as «meat suite», he really had an identity tied to it!

And using this identity he becomes part of 100 guineas club. Part of gay/queer (it was in times where this distinction was meaningless) community with fellow queers, where he learned queer ways, such as dances, becoming part of queer culture as a whole (and should I remind you that back in days drag was mandatory part of such clubs? if we measuring queerness by how close it to cross-dressing apparently). He also collects literature by queer authors, immersing himself in this culture, again. Do I remember correctly that Oscar Wilde gifted him one of his books specifically? So we can safely assume he hangs with queer authors as well? Correct me if it’s not in canon (I’m freely mixing tv and book canon there btw although usually I treat them as two different things)

He also lives in Soho. He specifically chooses to live there, knowing perfectly well what a neighborhood it is (even back in 1600s it already had a Reputation). He knows what it says about him and he aims for it! (Crowley lives in Mayfair because it says something about him too — remember that while Aziraphale constructed himself around being soft and gay, Crowley intentionally made himself look as irrating rich asshole. If this asshole has vibes of sinister gay that would gladly corrupt you if you ask nicely, that’s another story) He is a part of this community! As a word of god, he: speaks Polari freely because he used it… with other queers (as oppose to Crowley that knows «bits» because he hangs out with criminals); he hide incriminating things from fellow Soho residents back when there were police raids (breaking law to help those in need is reacurring theme with him!). He still part of this community, he knows people, people knows him, he literally gives place to lesbian women for free so she can have her dream shop (supporting your local queer business!) (also great call back to Edingurg minisode! Aziraphale, personal saint of broke lesbians!)

I’ll also argue that letting in first Gabriel and next Muriel was a very queer of him. Queers help other queers: he may not like Gabriel, but «he has no other friends» (and he's homeless after being kicked out from heavens after disaster forbidden love affair with other queer being, hmmm? paralleles with reality of being queer much?), so he steps in. And Muriel, while being the same age as those two (we're NOT child-coding Muriel in this house), vibes as queer youth in needs of guidance, and Aziraphale, that had every right to be suspicious and cold to them, immediately lets them into safety of his shop and tries to be nice and supporting in both older queer and older ND cousin way.

So, in conclusion: Aziraphale is a queer being, that likes to make it clear that he’s queer and queer GNC man specifically; he’s part of queer community for at least couple hundred of years, participant in queer culture, and he watches out for other queers, helping his own as much as he can, using his money and other resources and breaking law to do so when needed. What there can make him look straight even as a joke?

Crowley is absolutely a queer being too, in very queer love with other queer being, and I'm sure he has a blast pocking into rules and boundaries of genders, orientations and all kinds of relationships since he loves questioning and testing so much. He also has a cool rebellious aesthetic and «fuck all» attitude, so it’s understandable that he becomes tumblrs queer icon (and being played by David Tennant helps for sure). But if you ask them both where’s local shelter for homeless queers located, one of them will have an answer and it won’t be a Crowley, or he wouldn’t sleep in his car (I'm joking), and this is as much of the part of being queer as having cool aesthetic or being kicked from home (I'm joking again). And it's a shame that some people want to make a competention out of it, because it gives us infinity possibilities to discuss their different experiences and choices, down to what their respective aesthetic choices says about them, and how they can use their strong sides to support each other! But alas.

[ac-liveblogs]

Munchen Bastard vs Manshine City: The Finale

This panel is inexplicably hilarious to me. Isagi reflects so calmly on that batshit match like he and Kaiser were being completely normal and reasonable. That was an average match. Nothing to see or comment on there.

Is it still a technical foul if the one you're assaulting is on your own team? Anyway.

...god, I want to see what Blue Lock TV has to say about that one. You know it's wild when Nagi and Reo go full uh... Nagi and Reo, and they're still not the biggest trainwreck ('most interesting') of a duo on the field.

Ego talking about Nagi's goal as a one-hit wonder is interesting, because I think he's right that Nagi will never be able to replicate it. Nagi could barely keep that same energy going for the match he was already in, let alone another one. Nagi, whose only real faults read as 'just less experienced than everyone else', seems to finally be getting a real flaw he'll have to work on - motivation. Which is interesting, right, given his motivation is supposed to be getting the world cup with Reo - but that's not a big enough driver to keep him really going? Episode Nagi's reframing of events seems mildly contradictory in that way. Guess we'll see how it goes.

Suddenly, Yukimiya. You know a guy is screwed when he starts saying shit like "god never gives you more than you can handle!" He can pretend he's gonna be a player all he wants, I don't think he's coming back in any major capacity.

Oh yeah, speaking of Isagi blasting past people regardless of their sad backstories, Sae is inevitably going to be Isagi's midfielder later, right? Because screw Rin, right? That's awesome, I can't wait.

I don't know much about soccer, but as a 'playmaker' who is very good at strategic passing, would Isagi be better off as a midfielder like Sae? Is that a criminal thing to say. I'm sorry. Isagi's just really bad at actually scoring goals lately. Maybe he should refocus. Since he apparently thinks he doesn't need any special moves to get one over on Kaiser, he might want to build the skillset he definitely already has. (amazed at Isagi's hyper-confident bullshit).

Kaiser just like. Ruined a goal. For his own teammate. Is that legal? Should it be illegal? Obviously this shit can only happen in Blue Lock but is it REALLY something sponsors are gonna like like. 'oh yeah that's a good team player that guy he'll work really well in a team', REALLY?

I guess teams only seem to consist of like max. four relevant people at any one time so what does it matter... the author only sometimes remembers Chigiri and Kunigami are around... particularly insulting for Kunigami all things considered.

Actually, it'd be so cool if Kira reappears after Wild Card as a final joker card boss or something. I'd love that. Please do that. I'll be sad if that doesn't happen now.

Just once, I want to see these jackasses go up against a really competent goalie. I want Kaiser Impact stopped dead. Just once. Please.

For real though, it does make their soccer feel pretty 'incomplete' that other players like that aren't really accounted for. These guys don't feel like they're training to go up against really competent defense or anything. Maybe the author just doesn't think it exists. I don't know.

Backstory: I played soccer for two years in primary school, and the first year I was defense. Our forwards were so competent the ball very rarely came anywhere near us, so I didn't have to be good or anything. It's not like I could do much if it did. So my soccer experience is entirely consistent with Blue Lock, but that doesn't mean I have to like it! Why are these pro athletes on the same level as me at age 10!

Ness is so funny. I want to see his Kaiser stan account's deranged blogging of the entire Blue Lock experience.

I love that Isagi thought so hard he passed out. "Metavision" is so funny.

One, why is Noa's bedroom some sci-fi alien ship. Two, why was Isagi taken THERE when he passed out. Did Ego just like. Not fund an infirmary? Is that where Blue Lock cut costs? I'd buy it.

Noa's just watching his team burn with a completely impassive face. Man he does not give a SHIT, I bet he's loving Kaiser getting assaulted by some random high schooler.

The idea that Ego ever actually played soccer is bonkers to me. Like, it makes perfect sense. But I don't buy it. Seeing that guy in soccer shorts will actually make my brain melt out my ears.

But of course Blue Lock, designed to attract/produce guys that are not even remotely normal about each other, was founded by a guy that is also not normal about another dude. Phenomenal stuff.

Bastard Munchen's sponsors watching Isagi and Kaiser brutalise each other on the field like "yeah we want that all the time actually"

I expected Shidou to rank much higher given his U-20 showing. How is he so much lower than Rin? Does Rin just knock him unconscious before every match?

If I were told I had the same worth as Ness I think I'd kill myself.

LET'S GO BAROUUUUUU

[thepunkmuppet]

UNHOLYVERSE CLOSING THOUGHTS YIPPEEEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

it’s 1am and I’ve finished it :)

the plot was fucking amazing as was the writing, it was like a really really good tv show, or maybe an amazing movie (pt1) and its slightly more deranged sequel (pt2 and 3). I think I definitely preferred all things unholy as a whole, but yeah the next parts really did feel very sequel-like, in that the first one was The Story and the second and third were building on that first core story, expanding the characters and world. which ummmm btw the lore is insane??? so much going on lmfao but I think it all worked really well. the fallout boy stuff was fucking wild though icl because WHAT 💀 I’m also obsessed with the idea of god talking to frank in the form of the cardinal dream, that worked soooo well and still leaving it open at the end is great. I’m so glad frank and gerard got a happy ending, I ship those stupid twats SO hard I’m literally clawing at the walls they make me INSANE RRAAHHHH!!! icl I really didn’t care about mikey and ray’s romance like at all but it worked as a source of conflict and was pretty cute

I kind of forgot it was meant to be mcr fanfic for a while lmfao, which brings me on to I guess the most important part which is my main takeaway on the whole rpf thing

as I’ve said in a post before, I really struggle to picture voices and faces accurately in my head when reading. well except when it comes to buffyverse characters, but that’s just because those shows are so deeply ingrained into my psyche forever that istg I could literally channel buffy summers at this point and just become her. lmfao but yeah I really struggle with that! so when I’m reading, I just kind of create a vibe, a vague mind’s-eye image of a character, it’s very hard to explain. so for me these frank, gerard, mikey, etc characters were subconsciously already way far removed from the real people, like I had to consciously make an effort to make them sound and look exactly like them in my head. but like I said, it felt like a real piece of media like a tv show or something, so to me the unholyverse characters are just that - characters. it really felt like mcr playing movie roles lmfao which I was perfectly happy with. the romance and other relationships were written soooooo well, the real problem was ofc the smut!

I don’t like smut in general, not in a judgy or censor-y way, I just get no joy or kick out of reading it and all it does is make me feel awkward. but with rpf smut, even though I see unholyverse frank and gerard as fictional characters, I can’t ignore the fact that THIS IS FULLY EXPLICIT WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY PORN BEING WRITTEN ABOUT REAL PEOPLE 💀 read it write it all you want, personally I find it uncomfortable and it just doesn’t do anything for me. made me think too much about the fact that it WAS rpf, yk?? got me thinking about the real frank and gerard and how fucking weird it would be to read smth like that about yourself idk, also the fact they have wives and kids…. 😟 gosh idk it was very very well-written smut, it just made me so icked out the more I thought about it

but anyway, OVERALL: I loved it. it was so good, will definitely reread, bookmark, and think about it for a very very very long time. possibly scream and cry and tear my hair out too, idk. part 1 was my favourite by a long shot, it’s so iconic, and feels pretty removed from parts 2 and 3 in a nice way that makes it feel like a movie and its strange sequel. I’ve discovered I like rpf when it’s good and when it’s a complete au and the people feel like original fictional characters in their own right. I don’t enjoy rpf smut, though, AT ALL, which isn’t a surprise bc I don’t enjoy smut in general, the rpf aspect just made it way more uncomfy for me personally. kind of feel the need now to bleach my brain out and consume normal mcr content just to remind myself of the disconnect between unholyverse frerard and the real people lmfao

OH ALSO THAT

I do NOT ship frerard irl, that shit’s fucking weird don’t do it. yes there is a difference between fic like this and saying two married friends and colleagues in real life are actually in love with and attracted to each other. I do for sure ship unholyverse frerard, as I’ve said they’re fictional characters to me

[pigeonpeach]

You’re safe now

A/n: boothills backstory had me sobbing so I made this. This isn’t a x reader btw its just boothill being fatherly over a stranded kiddo. I just got inspo of this randomly so here it is

“See? i can eat just about anything now.” He laughed as the little girl looked on in amazement. He never expected to see s kid this far out in peacony, far from the protection and stuck in the middle where dozens of stray robots and creatures lurked waiting to turn the innocent little girl into s splatter. That thought angered him. The thought that there was anyone or anything in this world so cruel to do that. She hadn’t hurt no one, she didn’t do nothing a kid wouldn’t be expected to. But more importantly, she looked like his had. His little sweetheart who started walking when she saw him come home. The little bundle of joy he found tossed like trash that he coddled and raised. That bundle was now gone, along with all he had known thanks to the jerks at the IPC. He was going to make sure they paid no doubt, he wouldn’t let that Oswald off so easy. No money in the world could buy him off, he’d have him beaten and bloody begging for mercy before putting rounds and rounds of bullets into his stupid fucking face. He wouldn’t stop until his fuckin skull was dust. But for now his focus was on the stranded girl. She was so little, so innocent, she was also very scared. She clung to him so tightly. She was a halovian, her wings were so tiny and cute, her little halo made her look like s true beacon of innocence. How could he just let her become another tragedy? He may be s cyborg now but he has more of a heart than most people do.

“Could you even eat the sundaes but with the glass intact?” She asked. He chuckled. “Of course. Once we get back to the main city I’ll show you, how about that?” He said. She nodded. “By the way, wheres your parents at.” He asked. She paused before looking down.

“Well… they aren’t here right now.. I was supposed to be watched by my uncle but… he brought over some friends and they got real noisy, I wanted to visit my friend but I got lost.” She said. He pondered, that wasn’t exactly a address, but kids don’t usually know their addresses anyways. He could probably report it to the bloodhounds but take her with him around the city to keep her distracted and happy. He wasn’t sure what their policy was with lost kids though.

“Now when you say ‘aren’t here’ do you mean like they aren’t home or…”

“They’re not in Peacony right now. They told me they’d be gone for a bit but they’d be back.” She said. God she was adorable, her little wings looked so soft he wondered if she preened them like birds do where they take broken feather out or groom themselves, or do halovians have a brush?

“Ah I see. Whats your uncle like?” He asked. She followed behind him as they walked through the empty and confusing landscapes.

“Well he’s loud. Too loud. He’s also to touchy. He gets all up in your face like ‘Oh my gosh I haven’t seen you in soooo looooong’ but he saw you a week ago! His friends got really noisy. I think they were playing some game.” She said. He pretended to be interested but he was also scanning the area for enemies ahead. Of course he still cared but he needed her to be distracted while he kept watch.

“Sounds awful. They couldn’t get a better babysitter?”

“I know right!” She agreed. “Say, why are those tv guys so mean here? In the Golden hour all this machines are so friendly. One even gave me candy once… but that one back there… it was angry at me… did I do something wrong?”

“Sugar, the ones here are feral. They aren’t allowed around people and if they get caught by any of those bloodhounds they’re supposed to take care of em’. You didn’t do nothing wrong kiddo.” He said. “In the future you shouldn’t approach any wild ones.”

“Okay Mister Boot.” She said. He chuckled, that name was quite silly even to him. He liked it.

“Now, just stick behind me okay? We are in enemy territory here so caution is necessary.” He said.

“Enemy territory? Oh like when Brother Hanu has to sneak through the bad guys bases! I love those cartoons!”

“Something like that. Now you focus on being hidden while I do all the heavy lifting okay?” He looked at her as she nodded excitedly. Apart of him felt so natural taking care of her. Selfishly he kinda had hoped she’d been a orphan so he could scoop her up and take her with him. He missed having a family, having a home. And although he could never replace his baby girl he couldn’t ever stand to see a child cry or be alone.

“Mister Boot? Do you have any parents?” She asked. “Or would that be like s screwdriver..” he paused.

“Yeah I did. And they weren’t screwdrivers.” He smiled reminiscing on those memories of his family, how they took him in, how close they all were. Just them on the ranch.

“Are they alive?” She asked. He was a little surprised, kids like her don’t usually know the concept of death. Her parents are supposedly still alive so he wondered were this came from.

“No.. they aren’t. But they loved me dearly and I cary them on in my mechanical heart.” He said, he pretended to be okay about it, that he had moved on. He had to, after all children rely on adults for morality and hope. He couldn’t let her know how painful it was, that’s her parents job to do.

“I.. I worry sometimes.. mama and daddy seem to be In trouble.. but they won’t tell me anything about it… Uncle said I should lay low and wouldnt let me out today.” She said. She seemed more anxious than ever. “If I lost my papa and mama.. then what would I do.. I can’t lose them…” tears pooled in her eyes. “I don’t wanna lose them to the bad people. I don’t wanna be alone!” She cried now. He quickly lifted her to his chest, holding her close, one hand supporting her with the other still on his pistol.

“There there. I’m sure wherever and whatever business they got they’ll handle. Don’t worry kiddo, you’ll see em again.” He said.

“But what if? What if they do go.. my uncle is in no position to take care of me…” her cries were s lil muffled. He hostled his gun to pat her on the back.

“You know something? while people can die, they don’t leave you. Everyone you love sticks with you. In your heart and in your mind.” He said. “You’ll remember their voice and their words, and you’ll remember their love. It won’t be easy, it hurts alot but no one can take that from you.” He said with a smile. She seemed to top crying as she wiped her tears away.

“Really?” She asked. He nodded.

“Yeah. So long as you keep living, and you don’t ever let them get you, they live on in your heart and in your memories.” He said with a smile.

“Okay.” She laid her head in his chest again, listening to the motors and gears as he continued walking.

“Oh we’re here! See? Safe and sound.” He said. She perked up to see the familiar lights close by. The spotlights, the noise of the city returning. She seemed happier.

“Can we get icecream? I’m kinda hungry.” She asked. He chuckled.

“Of course, I’ll even show you that trick I promised.” He winked.

“Thank you so much for helping us find our daughter! I cannot thank you enough.” The man in front of him was close to kissing his feet from the looks of it. It just so happens that they returned early from their trip and came home panicked when they didn’t find her.

“Its no problem really. If you ever need any help here,” he wrote his number on a piece of paper and handed it to them. “Id also be okay with babysitting, that brother of yours didn’t do a proper job if she managed to get out so easily.”

“Yes I assure you he won’t be trusted with such again. Thank you again so much.” He said. He trusted her parents. They looked relieved to see their lil girl again. The little girl snuggled in her momma’s arms, it looked like she’d live the rest of her life like that with how tight she was held.

“Alright, don’t go running away anymore lil missy. Just give me a call if you need anything.” He said. She turned to him and nodded, there was still a little chocolate icecream on her lips that was now rubbing off on her mother’s shirt.

“Okay Mister boot! Please come visit sometime!” She said waving goodbye. He smiled, as he nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.” He said. “Just be good, and don’t ever give up.”