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#god damn now i really wanna do that
bixels · 2 months
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Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!
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chrometheraptor · 5 months
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Swindle!! Love this dude sm I’m really happy with how these came out
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waitineedaname · 3 months
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the untamed is a great show for fans of cursed artifacts and tragic siblings
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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monty-glasses-roxy · 2 months
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On another note, it's actually kinda hard to draw references for all the guys I wanna draw references for because of the simple fact the vast majority of my drawing ability is hyperfocused on quadruped animals.
If you're a visual artist of any kind and you see this post, I am challenging you to go and draw something you've never drawn before right now. Like if you draw humans, go draw some hamsters and if you draw dogs go draw some chickens or something. If you've never drawn horses much before go draw some of them and try your best not to make them look like a dog with a funny face. Go have fun with that right now
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ah, so the misophonia is part of the sensory processing disorder + etc. of course.
#misophonia#okay now that im where im coming from here:#does anyone else get Murderous when they hear lawnmowers/leafblowers/etc#like instant anger. not minor annoyance but This is about to Ruin the next few hours for me#like if someone was trying to get me to join the dark side or whatever but i was in firm disagreement until That Motor revs up#i want to enjoy the sounds of spring and summer but instead its fuck BRBRBRBRBRBRBRRBRRRBRBRBRBRBRRBRBRBRBRRRR#ALL THE DAMN DAY#its fucking night time rn;#its fucking RAINING#and i have a neighbor whos mowing her lawn#shes about ot get evicted out of this house w this giant ass lawn that only she lives in but shes MOWING HER FUCKING LAWN USING OUR POWER#i want all mowers and leaf blowers to explode forever#SHES FUCKING SITTING STILL ON HER PHONE RUNNING THE WORLDS LOUDEST SINGLE PASSENGER VEHICLE#AND I CANT FUCKING TELL HER TO HAVE A LICK OF SELF AWARENESS BC I HAVE FUCKING COVID SO I CANT LEAVE MY ROOM OR CLOSE MY WINDOWS#i swear to fucking god pls get me out of hereeeeeeee#my ears hurt so bad rn i wanna cry#thats all its been for htese days of isolation: mower after mower after mower after mower#i just wanna hear the wind! or the rain! or the birds! or the frogs! OR NOTHING!!!!#i cant fucking sleep thru it either ;;;;;;;;;;;;;#and whenever i describe this frustration no one in my family really sympathizes#they ask if ive tried my headphones which is would be helpful if i hadnt tried and failed w that for years#they just shrug and say 'well it has to be done' BUT WHY DO PPL 'NEED' TO MOW THEIR LAWNS EVERY FUCKING DAY#okay shes done now. at 9 fucking pm. ill be done now
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thebleedingeffect · 23 days
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#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
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bluecoba · 10 months
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Just found out that my husband wiped my whole fucking hard drive clean... So much of my writing was saved on there and nowhere else... The sheer amount of grief I feel right now is just... FUCK.
I want to bang my head against the wall holy fuck...
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mythvoiced · 1 month
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OPEN STARTER | Boo Yihwa
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"New idea: you fuck off or I'll kill you. I hate the way you smell."
#;open starter#the witch;yihwa#the witch;open#NEW FC NEW FC NEW FC couldn't find more resources for the old one plus i generally just wanted a new one lmao here she is#SO she's around 90 yrs old so fresh immortal she/her all the way and she hates people~#her 'immortality' is just her lengthening her lifespan by 'consuming' souls of the deceased#spirits yknow because if they're strong enough to stick around as spirits then they have enough life energy left#to be added to hers IT WORKED it's weird mathematics but she made it work#she's less of a witch and more of a psychic of sorts?? she doesn't really do spells she just#makes it look like it's spells when it's just her having figured out how to trap souls lmao#she's so much NOT fun to be around it's thrilling~#;queue#gosh i have to change her about doc#but hoNESTLY what with her fc change i really wanna WRITE her now LIKE DAMN#she's so muCH FUN because she doesn't mince her words and she hates everyone#OH AND ALSO she's terrified of death she will nOT die that's NOT AN OPTION#but she's also only 91 it's so funny all the shit she knows from the past is stuff your grandparent could corroborate#you should become her lil apprentice actually?? she'd HATE that but then she'd really angrily accept you after a while#and she'd turn you into a supervillain ngl or she'd try to#but you can then go around and say 'i wouldn't mess with me' bc if she starts considering you an extension of herself#or GOD FORBID care about you her deranged methods of self-protection wILL be extended onto you
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ur-fav-alien · 2 years
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That time Max found out.
Max finds about her brother and babysitter. warning for light smut? It's just Billy + Steve making out and teasing each other idk how else to describe it aldjflsdj
Susan and Neil were gone for the day, going on a date since today was everyone’s day off. Billy was told by Neil to stay home with Max and because he had no plans to go out today, he was going to be obeying those commands and staying in the confined space of his Hawkins home. He was working out in his bedroom with the music blaring loud and trying to distract himself from the burning in his body and the sore bruise on his lower back after Neil had slammed him into the kitchen counter. A knock at his window threw him out of his zone. Despite the blaring music, he would always hear a knock at his window, because a knock at his window meant only one person was there. 
He let the dumbbell bar drop to the floor, adding to the dozens of dents in his hardwood floor, Neil never really went into his room so he could do whatever he wanted here, which included acting out his silent anger against stupid Hawkins, Indiana. He pushed aside his curtains and found a doe-eyed Steve Harrington looking back at him. Billy groaned with annoyance, but in actuality, he couldn’t be happier to see the fucker. 
Billy opened the window and Harrington climbed in. Thankfully, their house was only one story, so Steve didn’t need to worry about climbing several feet just to reach his boyfriend. “You know,” Steve said as he entered the room. “I don’t think your muscles can get any bigger than that, dufus.” Steve lightly punched his boyfriend’s exposed arm. 
Billy raised an eyebrow at him. “You wanna bet?” Billy was completely ready to show off in front of Steve how much he could bench press. 
“Yeah, I do.” Steve shoved Billy’s shoulder as the man moved closer to him. “I think you need a new exercise than just… weights.” 
Billy wasn’t getting what Steve was talking about until Steve’s legs hit the side of Billy’s bed and Billy was about 2 inches away from the freak. That’s when it finally hit him and he got an impressed look on his face. 
“Harrington?” Billy wrapped his hands around Steve’s waist. “You’re nasty.” he gasped.  
Steve blushed and put his hands on Billy’s chest. His hands felt so cold on Billy’s hot chest covered in sweat, it felt like he was in one of those cheesy pornos he watched. “You’ve said worse.” 
“I’ve said a lot worse.” Billy agreed as he leaned Steve down onto his bed. “But you’re the prude in this relationship and you barely say any dirty shit.” Billy pressed Steve into the bed, holding down his waist as Billy straddled his boyfriend. “But I like this new attitude on you, Harrington. I wanna see you more freakish.” 
Billy leaned down and started making out with Steve’s neck and his hands found Billy’s curly hair. Steve let out a moan that only furthered Billy’s passion of making out with his neck. 
“Have I ever told you how pretty you are?” Steve said through his moans. 
Billy pulled away to look at him. “You really are a charmer, aren’t you, Harrington?” 
Steve’s hands traveled from Billy’s hair all the way under his pants to press against the man’s underwear covered bulge. Billy leaned his head back with a groan as a smirk pressed to Steve’s lips. 
“Some would say so.” 
Billy’s smile and eyes turned dangerous as he looked at Steve. A fire of pure lust clouded his vision as he leaned in and the two lovers shared a passionate kiss. 
“Hey Billy, do you-” Max opened the door and everyone shared a quick loud scream as they all jerked away from their positions. Steve kicked Billy off of him and Max slammed the door shut in all what seemed to be a second. 
Steve and Billy stayed frozen where they were until the seconds turned into minutes and it seemed they were safe when no one else was coming to the door. Billy looked like he was 5 seconds away from crying when he looked up at Steve and said. “You need to leave.” 
“Yeah, I know.” Steve said as he stood from Billy’s bed and began brushing himself off because Billy’s smell or anything might’ve transferred over to him. Billy stood to his feet and his chest was heaving as they both looked out the window that Steve was about to climb out. It was pouring rain. 
Billy really did not want to make his boyfriend run through the rain back to his car, but then again his heart was beating faster with every second that Max could be walking towards the phone to tell Neil what she had just seen. Max had known of her brother’s… ‘unnatural’ ways and never really had a problem with it, but maybe she had suddenly changed her mind. Steve then looked at him with those big sad eyes and Billy crumbled. He sighed and grabbed his jacket off the rack attached to his door and outstretched his hand to give the jacket to Steve. 
The man’s face got even redder, and he gingerly took the jacket from Billy, like this was something illegal.
“I’m gonna need that back.” Billy grumbled. 
“I’m aware.” 
Billy watched with childish glee as Steve put on the jacket and covered his head as he opened the window and began running through the rain to his car, parked somewhere deep in the woods where no one would find it. 
Steve was working the counter when a very awkward and sheepish Max walked into the ice cream shop, and Steve froze. Billy had refused Steve coming over his house after what happened with Max, like Billy had angrily refused. That didn’t stop them from hanging out, of course, it just gave them one less option to run away to. 
Max had yet to confront the boys about what she had seen. She had actually been avoiding them since that day. Max refused to speak to Billy or really look at him and every time the kids wanted ice cream, Max would go shopping while they got her the flavor she wanted. 
But now she was here, standing in front of Steve, and looking down at the floor. 
“Um…” He stuttered. “Would you like something to uh… eat?” 
She swallowed. “I actually needed to talk to you.” 
“About what…?” 
She looked up at him and mentally said, ‘really?’ Steve knew what this was about. He turned around and opened the sliding doors to the back room, where Robin was reading something. “Hey Robin.” He whispered, and the girl looked at him. “Can you cover the counter really quickly?” 
She gave him a confused look. “Why would I do that?” 
“Because you love me and I really need you to do this.” 
She gave him a dead eye stare, so in return he gave her this pleading look that he used with Billy all the time. And like Billy, it always worked. Robin sighed and got up out of her chair to switch places with Steve while the sailor boy opened the counter door for Max to walk through. Robin gave the two a suspicious glare while Steve led the teenage girl all the way into the back hallway, where they got their shipments. 
The two leaned up against opposite walls as Steve waited for Max to talk and Max struggled to find the right words. 
“So are… Are you and Billy like… together?” She asked, and Steve’s face went a bright red. 
He had never really thought about it if he was being honest. Yeah, he loved Billy, and he hoped Billy loved him back, but he had never really asked if they were really dating. That was something scary to Steve, dating a guy. Steve had never seen himself dating or really ever being in love with a guy, well… he had thought about it, but he had never seen that as his future. Billy wasn't supposed to be the one Steve fell in love with. Steve, as per everyone around him, was supposed to fall in love with someone like Nancy. 
“I uh… I guess?” His entire body felt feverish. It was like saying yes to this question was something illegal. Well… it was technically. Steve had no idea how these types of people lived. Maybe some place like California would be more open to it, but Indiana? No, not at all. “I mean, we like each other.” 
Max nodded and swayed her body side again, sliding against the drywall of the hallway making this droning scratching sound. Steve thought he was going to pull his hair out. It was so quiet and he was so uncomfortable.
“I don’t think that’s weird or anything.” Max comforted his worries with her tiny voice. “Back in California there were a lot of people like that… They hid it pretty well, but sometimes you could see tiny things and it gave it away if you knew what to look for.” 
Steve nodded. “You haven’t told anyone, right?” 
Max shook her head. “Billy would kill me, and I think Neil would kill Billy.” 
Steve didn’t know the extent of Neil’s violence. All he knew was that Billy absolutely despised him. Every time he talked about Neil, he would get overwhelmed and lash out, like he threw Steve’s basketball so hard the ball ended up popping. Steve now knew not to ask about it because it was such a sensitive subject. 
“Billy loves you.” Max said out of their silence. Steve looked at her with surprise in his eyes. “I think you’re the first person that he really loves… besides himself… and his mom.” Steve knew that Billy’s mom had left him when he was really young. Billy had come to his pool one night with his face streaked with red because he tried to celebrate his mother’s birthday in peace, but his dad wasn’t letting that happen. 
“Like… whenever you come over to pick him up to go somewhere or- or if you’re just anywhere near us anytime and he looks at you? It looks like he’s staring straight at the stars or something. Like he’s seen the face of god and he can’t pull away from it.” Max seemed slightly disgusted with how enamored Billy was with Steve. Steve was shocked. “It’s like he’s never seen someone like you before.” 
Steve’s breath made a small hitch, and he really hoped Max didn’t notice. He was in love with Billy, he really was. And to hear that Billy looked at him like he had hung up the moon and stars? It was exhilarating. It was so much more than any ‘I love you’ to come out of the guy’s mouth. 
“You really think so?” Steve whispered. What if this was some set up? What if someone was peering around the corner and listening to this entire conversation just so his dad can come out and beat his ass? Steve was scared to death. 
Max nodded. “Yeah, it’s kinda gross.” 
Steve chuckled and hung his head, trying to head the painful blush that had spread more across his face. 
“I was just telling you so you know I’m cool with you guys.” Max said. “And because I wanna embarrass him, since he probably doesn’t say he loves you enough.” 
Steve shook his head. “Yeah, but… he has a lot going on, so I don’t blame him.” It was only in the darkest of shadows or the quietest of places where Billy whispered to him and he loved Steve. Other times, it was in his actions. Like when he lets Steve win basketball or gets him water or drives him places or gives him a gracious tip. Steve didn’t care though, he was just happy Billy was with him. 
“So uh… Does this mean I get free ice cream?” 
“What? No.” 
“What if I blackmailed you?” 
“Why would you do that? That’s not cool, man.” 
“True… What if… You give me free ice cream or I blackmail you?” 
“That’s the same THING.” 
“Oh… Can I just get free ice cream?” 
“Oh, my god…”
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xamaxenta · 1 year
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It’s difficult to not feel discouraged sometimes when your partner is also an artist and happens to be faster than you in every conceivable way
This doesn’t bother me often because everyone is different and comparing production time and skill against each other or anyone is detrimental mostly and its ok to have your own workflow
but it does weigh on me vaguely sometimes sometimes that she can finish 2-3 full coloured pieces within a week and ive been painfully scratching out the same number but theyre only sketches that ill never revisit within a month
None of this actually matters in the long run, it just makes me feel bad on occasion
#like i should be doing more#im very sorry for complaining so much online#i just dont really have any other way to express myself#i know some of you have generously and kindly reached out to me to offer an ear#but my fatal flaw is i cant talk to anyone about my problems i just idk it was beaten into me that none of it matter#matters or my problems arent a big deal and i know ots healthy to think actuallt my problems are worth talking about or a big deal#but its hard to change a behaviour that was kinda literally beaten jnto you that talking about stuff likw this is a waste of time#i guess i just feel bad that i could do more and i dont because i dont want to#but i also want to if that makes any sense at all#i suppose it also doesnt help that alot of the work im doing right now i actually sorta hate like none of it is good to me personally#i want to stop being toxic towards myself#i just wanna stop hating me and who i am and what i do every step of the way#but that mean little voice inside me is like ahh. it wont shut up#I always say i need a break or more time but what am i gonna do with it#doing nothing at all isnt fulfilling#it sounds. sad like what teenager me did and i dont want to be or feel like that ever again but its fuckjng hard#this is so woe is me#im a liar bc i say the main text doesnt bother me but it bothers me alot im very envious of her speed prolificness and drive to create#and i have none like thats so unfair#this makes me sound ultra bitter god fucking damn it#i want to go to sleep and genuinely never fucking wake up again#please im done i just dont want to
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chewysgummies · 7 months
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Please understand how attached I am to him guys please-
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toytulini · 10 months
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mental health just straight up plummeting
#toy txt post#everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair#constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point#whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into#a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so#much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one#so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad#and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why#i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point#every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of#reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know#like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food#service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and#all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just#wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and#between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so#now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead#trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the#point#vent#ig#i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not#functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep#and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends#not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this#i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get#lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking#distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying#anyway. thats how im doing. bye
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toonfinatic · 7 months
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I always feel like a fraud when i tell people i'm an animation student because they expect me to be like near professional-level good at art and animation, when in fact Finland is kinda ass and they seemingly at random selected the students to learn at my school. There were no portfolios or exams to send or do. I have no idea how they picked each of us to study there.
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orcelito · 7 months
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ITNL chapters 11 and 12 re-edits are posted !!! im rly happy with the changes ive made in these
also i dont think i mentioned but chapter 10 i wasnt expecting big changes but i. changed the bath scene. so that he doesnt have his damn prosthetic on in the bath. bc that makes no goddamn sense
Patch Notes: removed electronic prosthetic from the bath. made vash even more obnoxious (unrelated)
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arkfeather · 8 months
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just reread 4231 for the first time in years
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