#god i hope i didn't end up fracturing it i went down fast

[nexus-nebulae]

ghh

[actual-changeling]

"It would have been you."

It's raining.

Of course, it's raining.

A soft, constant drizzle leaving his hair a damp, curly mess that falls into his face and clings to his skin. Even though the cold is slowly seeping into his clothes, Crowley stops and turns around. Condensation is collecting on the inside of his shades where his breath drifts up, warm and too fast, and even if it hadn't been late at night, if the street hadn't been empty, he would have still taken them off.

Aziraphale is licking rain drops from his lips and blinking with dark, heavy lashes.

"What?"

His voice is rough, almost drowned out by the noise of rain hitting the pavement, collecting in small puddles around his feet.

"If it had been a choice, a real one, it would have been you."

The world did not end, questions were answered, apologies spoken, but their last conversation before everything went to shit is still a sharp splinter lodged in his chest, cutting him open more and more with every heartbeat. All of the fears he had left unsaid, the viscous doubt pooling in his lungs and weighing down his breaths—the truth might tip the scales and finally destroy him, and yet he cannot bring himself to stop Aziraphale from talking.

"It has always been you, Crowley. You must know that."

"I don't."

Bitterness laces his voice despite his best intentions, a drop of oil tainting an entire river, six thousand years of history, and it hurts because it's the truth, because they both wish it wasn't.

He doesn't know, couldn't know, because Aziraphale always needed him to stop them, to step back when they got too close. Every single time he had tried to push, gone too bloody fast, the angel had recoiled, scared for him, scared for the both of them. Crowley knows, and at the same time, he doesn't, because he still has hope and there is nothing more dangerous than allowing it to bloom; it's small, withered, brittle, on the verge of death and has been for centuries.

(It's still there, though. It keeps fighting, keeps trying. Keeps hoping.)

They're drenched to the bone, wet and pathetic, and there is nothing romantic about any of it when Aziraphale retraces his steps and closes the distance between them; there is, however, love.

There has always been love, whether they could admit it or not.

"I'm sorry. For- for everything, for making you think that I don't care about you."

"Angel, don't lie-"

"I'm not lying."

Crowley stares, frozen to the spot when Aziraphale presses cold, wet palms to his cheeks, his breath a ghost of warmth on his skin. This is too much, too close to 'our side', and if he didn't know better (does he know better? does he really?) he would think that he is about to—

"I'm not lying," he whispers, broken, truthful, "I love you. I won't leave you."

The rain stings in his eyes, masking the tears—hot and wistful—meeting Aziraphale's skin where it is touching his.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, angel."

His voice cracks and so does his heart, and he can feel the walls they have built together crumbling to dust under their feet. It's not real, it can't be real, and yet the truth is shimmering in storm-blue eyes he has been carrying with him since the moment he first put stars into the sky.

"It's you, always has been, always will be. If you let me."

Crowley kisses him as he falls apart, barely healed fractures reopening as his essence spills over and out, drowning him in please, please be real, please let us have this, please, God.

Just this once.

Aziraphale holds his face so incredibly gently, as if it's something worth keeping, something to protect, something he is afraid to lose. When the ground doesn't open up and swallow them whole, when the sky doesn't reach for them with greedy hands, he allows himself to seize Aziraphale's face in turn, cupping his jaw and kissing the rain drops off his lips, his cheeks, the tip of his nose, tasting his tears when they begin to fall.

"It's always been you. God, of course I will let you."

Sapphire blue eyes blink up at him, a smile pressed against his lips, a smile he can feel, a smile that is for him, them.

"Perhaps you could let me somewhere less, ah, sopping wet?"

"I was right, though. It's the rain that did it."

Aziraphale laughs, bright and happy, and infectious enough to make Crowley laugh too, and grabs his hand to pull him back towards the bookshop - back home.

[theidiootti1]

My Mysterious Scotcman•

Chapter: 2

There it was. Their target. Sitting on a chair back towards the crew, seemingly writing something that made him sigh and rub his forehead. Filip swallowed and his throath felt thight, this was really happening now. No backing down anymore.

*you can do it..c'moon don't be stupid chicken shite..*, Filip thought .

Finally the group leader moved forward and it was time for action. They catched that guy without him noticing anything. The guy fell of his chair and stumbled on floor trying to get away from us. The blond haired leader catched the back of his jacket and banged the guys face against the hard wooden table.

Filip had taken his gun from back of his jeans and now held it with both hands. His hands shaking and heart beating. Everyone had gathered around there. Few watching out of windows or keeping eye on the doors. When Filip saw the guys face he was shocked. That guy who they were supposed to kill. He wouldn't be more than a bit over 20 years. Filip swallowed and held his gun lower, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Shoot him", growled the leader who was standing beside the trembling body.

"DO IT!!" The other one yelled with really annoyed tone.

It was like the whole time stopped in that very place. The only thing that the young boy with a gun heard was his own beating heart. He rised his gun, not shaking anymore. He shot twice that young guy to head and he dropped to the floor while his life was escaping his body. Filip lowered his gun and sighed. He couldn't believe what he just did. He watched the growing dark puddle of blood that was leaking on the floor. He felt heavy clap on his shoulder, but he couldn't react.

"Great now let's get the hell out of here..", one of the crew members growled until one of the boys runned to the mainroom.

"Lads..we have company", he said with an scared expression.

"Shit...", the boss growled when there was sounds coming from the front door "They said that the place will be empty...god, let's go !!" He yelled and all started to run to the door. But one stayed almost like glued to the floor.

Filip just stood there. Still eyes glued to the body that was laying at his feet. He couldn't take his eyes away from it, he couldn't watch away from the mess on the floor. The guilt flowed through him.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Came the voice of an confused and pissed man

Filip rised his gaze finally breaking the spell but too late as the other guy who came from the behind of the guy who spoke. That man had gun in his hand and rised it . Filip didn't have time to react as the Next thing he felt was the fastly spreading pain at his thigh as the bullet hit his leg. He stumbled down on to the floor, beside the already cold body of their victim's. He forced himself up from the floor with final glance to the body .

"I'm Sorry", he mouthed and jolted towards the back door where they came in .

He heard angry shouts and yelling from behind him as the guys discovered their dead friend. They started chasing after him down the streets under the dark and rainy evening.

They say that adrenalin makes you do crazy things. It's meant to help you survive in dangerous situation. Maybe that and the shock from the pain was driving the young guy forward through the side streets. He didn't feel the burning pain of the shot wound as he ran as fast as his legs could go. He probably haven't ever run as fast as he did now.

The only thought that was running through his dead was the voice telling him *murderer*. Why was he so weak. What lead him into this situation.

*? POV*

The rain was still heavily assaulting the city of Belfast as I left my work place in hospital. I was casually driving my car and silently singing along with a song that was coming from the radio at low volume. I was totally in my own world as i started jamming along with the song. My whole day had been hectic and total chaos because of this wet rainy day.

I'm still not used to these rainy days, not even after a half of year of living now in this autumn time Ireland. Yes you heard right. I am not from here. I was born and rised in the United States, I had lived my whole life there. Until that one day when i just wanted to get away and have a fresh start. Change of the scenario as you would say. So I ended up here, in this happy place called Belfast. I moved to live with my aunt who happened to live here and she gave me an offer to come to her place and crash there. I took the offer and soon I found myself from here. No one wouldn't believe that nor would I had as a kid. After few months of living on my aunts hair i decided to get my own place. I moved to live with my one long term friend who had moved here few years before me. We were almost like sisters before she moved to be closer to her family. Now we lived in the same house like some teenagers.

I started working in the hospital as a nurse. The job that i had went to school for. I think i always wanted to work in medical side. I loved helping peoples it was some sort of calling for me, but sometimes the hard job and being the superhero of the day can suck all your juices away and left you all weary. Like today. From all the days, today everyone chosed to break what ever bone they can break or fall at home and fracture something. Sick elderly people coming to reception just hoping for a chat with someone. There actually never was anything wrong just normal old peoples stuff. The list goes on and on. I was totally ready to get to my bed, pull the blanket over my head and sleep for the next 24 hours. Straight. Not kidding.

As I drived down the dark and dimly lit street, only the cars light illuminating the road with yellow light. I wasn't prepared that someone would be outside at this time of the night. There wasn't change for me to react faster than i did as some dark object run straight infront of my car getting hit by me. With a loud thud the dark object fell down onto the street from the force of the car.

I did fast brake and i rised my hands over my mouth. Did I just run over someone ?! All kind of scenarios started to run in my head as I opened the car door and i unbuckled my seatbelt. I hopped out of the car into the cold and wet air as i walked to the front of my car. On the ground there was laying dark clothed person who i assumed to be young man. He was hurriedly trying to get up from the street as i shook my head getting back into this moment.

"Hey, stay down !" I suddenly opened my mouth and the person tried to get up even faster but failed with their attempt. Apperently he was clutching at his leg.

I moved fast squating down and carefully placing my hand on the shaking body on the ground "Hey ? Did you get hurt ?" I asked. I immedietly mentally kicked myself. It was stupid question of course you get hurt when you get hit by a car. Stupid me.

The man still kept trying to get away from me what showed me that he couldn't be that much hurt. I studied him with my eyes in the light of my car and i saw blood on the street. The blood had to come from him and what ever it was that was bleeding, was bleeding heavily. And when i saw his bloody hands.

"Hey, don't move you are bleeding..", i said with a rised voice. I tried my best to stay calm and keep the man on the ground "You need to go to hospital..", I said as the man suddenly had his attention to me

"No hospital !!!", he growled at me "They..will find me", he Whispered almost with inaudible voice. He had an thick accent what was hard to understand. Even for me who was constantly around Irish and british accents. This was different.

I looked at him and then around to our surroundings. Who would find him ? What had this poor man put himself into. What ever it was i wouldn't liked to be part of that. No i was just an avarage working woman.

I was again snapped out of my thoughts as the man tried once again to get up but fell flat on his stomach on the wet street. Breathing heavily. It was more like huffing than breathing anyways. I needed to do something...it's my curse as an nurse I swore it in my vow.

Then the light bulp went on my head and i made probably the worst decision what you can make with completely stranger, but it was the only option at this point. I stumbled up from the ground and i sneaked my arms around his torso, getting only a painful grunts and growling from him

"C'moon help me a bit", i hissed at him and i got him up from the ground and to the backseat of my car we went. Slowly but we made it. After a little of fightning back, he was nicely seated there as buckled him up and i closed the door.

This mysterious man was already drifting from consciousness so i have to go fast. As i was walking around my car i saw dark clothed peoples at the end of the dark alley. I gulped and basically runned fastly to drivers side door and i hopped in . Fastly change gear and started driving forward. Those peoples didn't have any kind of nice vibe coming from them.

I looked at the backview mirror, and to the mysterious man who was now sitting at the backseat of my car. What the hell i was thinking about ?! Is he dangerous ?? What if those peoples were chasing him and they follow me back to our house . I couldn't put my finger on those thoughts and my heart kept racing the whole drive back to me and my friends house. As i watched at the rewiev mirror to the man who was hunched at the back seat i had feeling in my heart. I have to help him, I almost just killed him so i have it for him.

To be continued…

[mm2305]

All That Matters

Characters/pairings :  Ethan Ramsey & Olivia Valentine

Words/Genre :   2.8 K / Angst , Romance

Warnings : mentions of death,injuries

Summary : Olivia gets seriously injured. How does Ethan react?

A/N : Hello again! This fic was written per @groovypalacehorselover​ ‘s request. This is the first time I’m attempting to write angst , so I hope this comes out good enough. A big THANK YOU to @romewritingshop​ for her help in editing this. Moodboard inspired by @potionsprefect 's ones.

Disclaimer : all characters and pictures belong to the rightful owners

My Masterlist

Enjoy!

------------------------------

Ethan was frantically rushing through the hospital corridors. Dread and anxiety flooded his mind that he could barely breathe. There was no way he would allow it to stall him. Pushing himself to go as fast as he could to get to the farthest wing of the hospital, he slammed the double doors ahead open.A group of interns were nattering amongst themselves,oblivious to the frantic attending approaching them. A thundering voice broke them out of their trance. 

"OUT OF MY WAY!", he boomed at them, as he was approaching closer. 

The interns, startled by him, broke apart allowing him to pass through them. What made them wonder though, was the clear, unadulterated emotion in his eyes. He looked as though his world was slowly crumbling around him. And they weren't wrong. 

2 Hours Earlier

Olivia was finishing up her rounds for the day. In a few hours she’d be home, snuggled with her favorite throw blanket, watching a movie on Netflix while Ethan would complain incessantly  about her taste in movies. She had to visit her last patient, a sweet seven year old boy named Nathan. 

His diagnosis was a difficult case to solve and this made young Nathan restless. His mom came to stay with him in the evening  but she had to go to work early in the morning. The poor boy was often bored out of his mind, taking adventurous strolls through the hospital, without telling anyone. There were several instances  that she and a few nurses had to track him down, but still Nathan continued doing that. She couldn’t really blame the poor kid. Today was just one of those days. 

Olivia walked to the nurses' desk, to ask about Nathan. 

"Hello Sarah, did you happen to see Nathan? I think he snuck  out of his room again." 

"Dr Valentine! No, I haven't. Maybe you should ask Mary. She might have an idea where Nathan is.", The nurse replied with a soft smile. 

"Okay, thank you!"

She left the reception in search of Mary. Before long, she found her in one of the halls. 

"Hi Mary, I was wondering if you've seen Nathan?", She inquired politely. 

"Dr Valentine! I was just looking for you. I think I saw the kid heading towards the halls leading to the new wing." 

"The new wing? Isn't that under construction?", Olivia asked, an audible tremor in her voice. 

"Yes?" 

"Oh God! Come on! We need to find him now!", she said, a feeling of worry and dread filling her. The new wing Bloom designed was essentially a plan to enlarge the facilities available for research. From what she heard, it wasn't safe to roam around the place without any safety gear. It was too dangerous to go there, especially for a young boy like Nathan, but she won’t let him fall to harm. 

After a few minutes of darting around and asking everyone they encountered, Mary and Olivia got the same response. They saw a kid among these halls at some point. By the time they reached the site, Olivia and Mary began calling for him. 

"Nathan? Are you here?" 

"Nathan? Nathan come here, it's me, Dr Olivia" 

No answer. Either he wasn't here or he just couldn't hear them clearly. The two women began to slow down their pacing steps as they carefully tread through the congested building site, all while calling for the young boy. 

"Dr Oliv?", They heard a small shaky voice calling. 

Olivia knew it was him and rushed towards the direction of the voice. Mary, hot on her heels, noticed him first. 

"He's there!", She exclaimed, running to his side and checking over him for any injuries. 

Olivia began walking towards them, relieved that Nathan was okay,when she heard a cracking noise. She quickly realized that the wall, they were close to, was about to collapse! With a sudden burst of adrenaline, she rushed towards them and pushed them away from the wall. She smiled softly at them before she heard a bigger *crack* and everything went black. 

-----------------------------------

MEANWHILE

Ethan was sitting at his computer, in his office, looking through files and updating the information onto his computer. Truth be told though, he was too distracted by a certain resident to concentrate on his current task. 

Him and Olivia have been together for a little more than three months and he was happier than he had been in a long time. She really had the power to turn the worst of days better with just a smile. 

She started coming to his house after work, in fact it’s almost like she had permanent residence in his heart and place. She spent most of the time there with him, just being together. Cooking, watching tv, playing ridiculous board games she always won. It was all very domestic and Ethan always felt his heart swell with love for her, at how at ease she felt being with him, in the place he now considered a home. 

Glancing at the clock, he realised their shifts would end soon but he was too impatient. With a soft sigh, he turned off his computer and walked out of his office ,towards the front desk. 

"Good afternoon, have you seen Dr. Valentine?", he asked a nurse he knew she frequently talked to. 

"Dr. Ramsey! Yes, she was here a little while ago, she was looking for her young patient, Nathan. He has a habit of sneaking out of his room, you see - Wait a minute please!", she paused to answer the phone. 

"Bloom Edenbrook Hospital how can I help you? Mary? What?! I’m sending the team right away!" 

The woman, Sarah, turned to Ethan with a flurry of panic coursing in her eyes. 

"Dr Ramsey, it was the nurse who was with Dr Valentine. They found the boy at the construction site! When they reached for him… a nearby wall collapsed on them!" 

"What!? Oh my… No no no… Wh-What else did she tell you? Tell me!", he demanded, his eyes glossed with panic, the usual pink hue of his face drained as he turned as white as a sheet, his breathing in short stuttered gasps. 

"Olivia ... was hit worst." Sarah whispered on the verge of tears. 

"Page Mirani, Delarosa and the best nurses this damn hospital has! Understood! I'm going there now!"

Before she had a chance to reply, he was already off in search of his Olivia. 

-----------------------

PRESENT TIME

Ethan continued running through the maze of corridors, his eyes full of unshed tears. 

"Not her, please not her! Don't take her from me! Please!", Ethan wasn't by any means a religious man, but the fear of losing the woman he loved made him pray to whoever could hear his agonized thoughts. The one person on this earth for whom he would give anything for, was again in grave danger. Memories from the last time she was at the brink of death flooded his mind, knocking the breath out of his lungs. How fragile she looked and to know he couldn't do anything to save her, other than watch her become progressively weaker and her radiant smile, the one that could lighten up a whole room, fade away. "No, don't do this right now Ethan. Focus on her. Only her.", he thought, nodding to himself while pushing the last hurdle of doors open. His eyes quickly scanned the room, trying to locate her. 

He finally saw her. 

She was lying on the floor pieces of rubble around her. She was unconscious, her eyes closed, her golden hair around her face.  As he rushed to her side, whilst avoiding the scattered materials, he saw a small patch of blood on the side of her head. 

He knelt beside her, being careful not to move her, in fear of causing more damage to her body. He took her small, still warm, hand in his and softly began to stroke her cheek and hair. 

"Darling? Olivia? It's me, Ethan. Please Olivia, can you hear me?", his voice wavered at the sight of her blood on his fingers from stroking her hair and a few tears were finally breaking through. 

Her eyes fluttered as a soft little gasp left her lips. 

"E-Ethan?", she whispered, her voice hoarse and barely audible. 

"Yes, Love it's me."

"I… it hurts.. I can't…", she croaked but it was too difficult for her to breathe properly, the dust hovering in the air wasn'tmaking this any easier. Ethan noticed this and pushed her head slightly back, to allow her to breathe better. 

"Shh darling I know… I'm here love, I'm not going anywhere...Please sweetheart don't give up on me… please…I can't lose you", Ethan whispered, stroking her cheek softly, trying to be strong for her. 

Olivia fell unconscious once again, her chest taking short ragged breaths. He pried his eyes away from her to look around the room. A woman was in the corner with a crying child in her arms, trying to comfort him. 

" Hi… Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" he asked them as he approached them. 

"Nothing too bad. Might just be a sprained wrist and a couple of scratches. Nathan’s fine too, just shocked. Dr. Valentine…. she … she got the worst of it.", she replied with tears in her eyes. 

Ethan didn't have a chance to reply as the team arrived. They immediately got down to work, not even hesitating to lose a minute, paying Ethan no attention. 

"Get her on the gurney carefully! One mistake and you're fired!" Zaid commanded, with a fiery stern voice at the team of nurses. 

"Zaid, she's got a cut on the side of her head and she's bleeding. I don't see anything too serious but we should order a scan. Shortness of breath indicates one or two fractured ribs and her left ulna and radius might be broken, given the swelling.", Ines said with evident concern and fear thick in her voice. 

"Let's get some scans and see exactly what's going on", Zaid replied, trying to be as calm as possible, in this case. Olivia was his colleague,but more importantly she was his friend and he wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. Not on his watch. 

"I'm coming with you!", Ethan interrupted their conversation. 

"You're not in the right state of mind to help her now!" 

"Zaid’s right about this. She needs you to be calm and focused when she wakes up.", Ines told him resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

Ethan had no choice but to reluctantly agree. 

--------------------------------------

Several hours later, Ethan was pacing anxiously in front of the room Olivia was checked into. The night doctors were there checking on her. As soon as they heard what happened, her friends joined Ethan in the waiting room, to hear news about her condition. Sienna when she saw her best friend in that state, immediately broke down, Aurora and Elijah trying to comfort her. Bryce, Rafael and Jackie, were mostly silent, their minds running through endless scenarios of what could happen to the most courageous woman they knew. 

She had a broken hand, three broken ribs; one of which was pressing too close to her lung; causing her difficulty in breathing smoothly. This required a minor surgery, which was conducted by Harper herself. She wouldn't let anyone else touch the woman she had come to consider a friend. Her head injury, thankfully, wasn't too bad, but there was a possibility of a mild concussion. The whole hospital was there to help Olivia in whatever way she needed. From nurses to interns to anyone she had always been kind to. 

Now, Ethan was waiting outside of her room alone, because her friends left a few minutes ago. She wouldn't wake up for a few hours and they made sure she would be completely okay before they left. Besides, they knew that Ethan wouldn't leave her side. That is, once he got to finally see her. 

Thirty agonizing minutes later, he was finally allowed to go into her room. His eyes glided across  her small form on the hospital bed. The side of her head was wrapped in white gauze, because of the injury there. Her left arm was in a cast and placed on a pillow to make her more comfortable. She was hooked to an IV, her body seeming too delicate on the hospital bed. Her face was in a serene slumber, her body was still under the influence of the drugs she was given during and after her surgery. 

Ethan took her soft hand in his, kissing her knuckles and looking tearfully at her. 

"My love… You scared me so so much… When that nurse told me you were hurt… I thought I was going to lose you. Again.", He started talking to her, even though she couldn't hear him, he was baring his heart to her. Letting the tears he was holding on to fall. 

"Finding you there, lying unconscious… was unbearable. Knowing that you may be gone forever, never being able to touch you, or see your beautiful smile, hear your awful jokes again… I’ve never believed in a higher power, but if there is a being that saved you, then I am grateful. Because, without you, none of this matters. You're my whole world Oliv. And this world means nothing to me if you’re not here darling", he finished , laying a soft kiss on her lips. 

He stayed with her for a few hours, having no intention of leaving her, but Naveen forced him to go get a coffee and something to eat. Of course, Naveen promised he would stay there with her while Ethan was away. 

On his way back to her room, he encountered Leland Bloom. "Great, just who I wanted to see", Ethan thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Ah Dr. Ramsey. I was just coming to find you. How is Dr. Valentine?", he asked with a facade of interest. 

"She’s in her room resting. Still unconscious though, because of the anesthesia from her surgery. Now if you'll excuse me", Ethan curtly replied, walking past Leland, anxious to return to her room. 

"I was hoping to come with you, actually. I wanted to ask you, will she make a full recovery?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, in a couple months she will probably be alright.", Ethan gritted his teeth, retraining his seething anger at how intrusive this man could be. 

"Probably? You're not certain? If her recovery takes so long, then she will be left behind in the hospital's advances. Pity… she was actually going to be one of the key assets to the progression of the hospital's success.", Leland said, not having noticed or probably caring about Ethan's expression. 

Ethan couldn't believe what he was hearing. The way he spoke of Olivia. His Olivia. A human being, as though she was nothing but a tool to be used. He clenched his fists, blood coursing through his veins, ears ringing, face and neck flushed red with anger, trying to resist the immense urge to punch him square in his arrogant face. 

"How DARE you talk that way about a human being who was seriously hurt? She could have been fucking killed and all you have to say is that she would be an asset to the success of the hospital? What kind of person are you, really? Do you see anything beyond your own selfish, moronic advancements?", Ethan turned to him abruptly, almost roaring, all the pent up emotions escaping him in this outburst towards this man. 

Leland was stunned at his outburst, mouth gaping open for a second before he recollected himself. The two of them had become the center of attention as the nurses and doctors were forming a small circle, staring at the two men. 

"I would best advise you against speaking to me like that Dr. Ramsey. I'm the one who is in charge here and I expect you to treat me with respect. Now, I understand you are under pressure right now since your partner was hurt, so I'm willing to look past this little tantrum. See you soon, Dr Ramsey." he replied, walking away from Ethan, who was stalking his way down the corridor to Olivia’s room, unbothered by Bloom’s words. 

The only person in this world whose words mattered, laid in a hospital bed right now, and he vowed he would not spend any more precious time away from her. Because despite what life throws at them, all that matters is that his Rookie ... his Olivia ... his true love will be alright. They will be alright. Together.

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Thank you for reading !!!

[katsukisass]

PAIRING: Aizawa x Female!Pro-Hero!Reader

WORD COUNT:  It’s gonna be 5 parts, but this first one has 1,435 words.

WARNING(S): Lots of swearing. Body-image issues; self-esteem issues; canon-like violence; angst? idk. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: So, idk what possessed me to write this and then make it 5 parts. Oh god, please help me. I hope y’all like, it’s my first BNHA imagine and Aizawa is a fave, so. This is UNBETADED AND I’M NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER, please tell me if you find any errors and I’ll correct them right away! <3 

RESUME:  You never thought of yourself as particularly beautiful. But then a certain Pro-hero keeps telling you are and, at a certain point, you just can’t convince yourself he’s lying. [This is part one, for part two go here.]

i.                    half-dead, battered and bloody.

You never thought of yourself as particularly beautiful. There were things you found nice about yourself, sure; but the overall sum of those things didn't exactly add to make you anything more than slightly cute and you were okay with it. Being cute wasn't in your plans anyway, having always wanted to be an hero.

It didn't helped that when you were on high school, being strong equaled to not being very feminine and you just went with it. You had to be strong and somehow the overall consensus was that girls weren't that. Long hair gets in the way. Heels aren't for running. How could you worry about looks while on a mission? The tutors at school drilled it inside you, and time and time again you found yourself being trap between the expectations everyone seemed to have about you being a girl and the requirements of being a hero.

That wasn't to say girls didn't fight back.  You saw girls being defiant, careful with their image, mindful of their looks, using them, even, and you decided that you didn't have to worry about it like they did, for you weren't even that pretty to begin with. So, you worked you ass off to improve your quirk, watched as your body grew stronger and decided that it wasn’t pretty, feeling as if at the time it were an question with only one right answer.

It had always been though being a girl. On class or at home, the thing you most encountered was discouragement. Being a hero was dangerous and it wasn't for girls. Being a hero was dangerous and you would never find a good husband like that. Being a hero required a set of skills girls just didn't had. Being a hero would ruin your love life, your significant other would never understand you. And that's not to mention the screeches of your Mother once and time again asking you who would take care of her grandsons if you were out at all times of the day being a self-centered mind-less hero. 

You passed way above it. So, It were a complete mindfuck when someone you admired so much like Eraser Head looks you dead in the eye, in the middle of the aftermath of a gruesome fight where you were both completely worn out, and tells you you're beautiful. There's heat flowing on waves to your face as your legs give out under you because you're exhausted - and also, on a smaller note, because you never saw that coming and dumbstruck don't quite cover everything you felt. 

"Did you get knocked on the head while I wasn't looking?" 

His head motions no, and you think maybe every other muscle of his body already gave out, cause he's splayed on the dirty concrete floor sited up only because of the huge block of debris behind him. His eyes bore holes in you, a meaningful stare that made the hairs of your neck stand out.

"Then you must be crazy by exertion." 

Like he thinks that can help, Eraser says the profanity again and you swear to god that prankster would find your fists If you had any strength in you. So you just flips him off and scoots back on your hands, trying to rest a bit before the first responders show up and you have to help with the rescue in the aftermath. 

Like something slowly emerging of a fog, you notice how your head hurts and so does your shoulders and arms and damn your side too. When one of your hands fly to your head and comes back bloody, you sigh audible. Apparently, you would be in the other end of the rescue party this time. You honestly hadn't felt nothing while the fight was going on, so the adrenaline high was coming down fast. You wonder if you lost too much blood. One look down at your ruined hero outfit and you notice the blood also gushing down from your right side. Damn. It looked worse than it was and you knew it. There was scrapes all over your shoulders, right arm and side, but the blood flow was somewhat manageable until the paramedics came. You look to the direction of a sound on your left and Eraser is pushing himself in your direction, walking every bit as a train-wreak as he looks.

"What the fu- Just lay down, Eraser, help's coming." While it was meant to be a bit more steady and definitely more stern, the fact that your voice comes in a rough breath and a cough probably ruins it.

"You're bleeding." He states the obvious and you send him a look every bit as unsurprised as you felt.

"So are you." You nod to his left leg, forearms and palms, though only the leg was a true problem. It bleed profusely while he limped and you wondered if it were a exposed fracture. There were a small trail of blood flowing from a forehead bruise too and you were sure the man had a concussion; it would explain everything perfectly.

"You're bleeding too much." 

"is' just a scrap."

"I don’t wanna see it when it's a big deal to you then." It takes some more time than normally would, but he's kneeling on your side and accessing your injuries. 

"Relax, I'll live." You wanted to lift your hand dismissively, but it just stayed on the ground, waving at nothing.

"Can you use your quirk to stop the blood flow?" He asks, looking around your wound, tearing your clothes to have a better look at it.

"You drag yourself all the way here just to tell me what to do?" You say watching him through half-lidded eyes, a smile finding it’s way to your lips.

One stern look from him and you're tiredly giggling. But there's no fucking strength in you even to just keep your blood inside and you show him that by trying and being unable to form a barrier for even a second. 

"'k, this' gonna hurt." That's the only heads up he gives you before putting both his palms, covered with his capture weapon, on top of your wound and pressing hard.

"What-FUCK!" You bite your tongue and taste blood. You're pretty sure you passed out for a second, because the force of his hands trying to make enough pressure on your wound that the blood flow diminish makes pain the only thing you can feel for a solid minute. When the adrenaline kicks in, you feel light-headed and you have to fight the desire to wack him on the head. But he's right, so you just resign to bite down on nothing and endure the pain with clenched teeth.

Then, like a concussed fucker, he just straights up does the crazy thing again. "You're beautiful."

"Oh fuck, you're crazy." It lefts your lips with all the breath you've been holding in, your face scrunching up in pain. "Gonna tell 'em to look your brain up." Another deep breath and all you feel is pain flashing though all your body. "Definitely cracked that hard head of yours." 

"'m fine." He mutters, carefully looking over your wounds like he could magically cure it by willing it better. The hell?

"Says the one claiming I'm beautiful when I'm almost dying, battered and bloody."

"You needed to know." He deadpans like it makes complete sense, and those words would explain his reasoning perfectly. Your side eye is nasty and he smirks at you like the fucking prankster he is.

"Oh, fuck you." You mutter and your arms start giving out, so you slowly lean yourself back until you're lying down in the concrete floor. Eraser keeps his hands on your wound, pressing while you move, his eyes scanning your body like he's ensuring that he isn't missing another major injury.

"They're here!" Someone screams and you breathe relieved that this weird shit is close to an end. You were okay with the bruising and hurting but damn, the bizarre beautiful thing going on was getting on your nerves. You couldn't even pass out in peace to avoid the weirdness and were getting real pissed at how creepily tender Eraser was looking you. Damn. Fucking. Weird.

Like the only thing keeping you still conscious was making him company, black spots appeared ahead of your eyes and your efforts to make them disappear were fruitless. When your eyes just feel too heavy to reopen, you let yourself be engulfed by darkness, the cadence of Eraser mumbling you were gonna be okay a lullaby in your ears.

[Prev. | Next]

[otome--fantasy]

Hey guys

I know I haven't posted anything since the weekend and I had really wanted to, but right now I'm not in a good headspace.

Wednesday night my dog got out of our yard and was hit by a car. I found her in our driveway alive, but she went downhill fast at the emergency clinic just minutes after my fiance and I had told her goodnight and promised her we would pick her up in the morning. The staff did all they could to bring her back, but they were unable to, and had no choice but to let her go.

Trigger warning for death and gruesome descriptions

I'm so broken up about it, and I feel horrible. I came out from a long shower and looked through my window after getting dressed, and saw her laying down in our driveway next to the road. She knows she's not supposed to leave the yard so I called her back expecting her to run back under the gate in a hurry but what I saw made my stomach drop.

My poor baby attempted to drag herself closer to the gate and couldn't use her back legs. I ran to her and saw she had wounds everywhere. At first I thought the neighbors dog (who wasn't exactly friendly towards other dogs and was known to wander up and down the streets) had gotten to her and tore her up like she did with one of my other dogs, but when I picked her up all I could do was scream her name and call for my parents and fiance as I carried her back into the house because her entire hind end was limp like a ragdoll, her mouth looked like it was bleeding, and her breathing was raspy.

At first everyone had thought some one had attacked her (several people have both attempted to lure her out of our yard and expressed how they didn't appreciate her barking and growling at them through our fence). I sat down on the couch with her in my arms and cried harder when I felt the rest of her go limp, because oh my god I thought I was too late and she was going to die in my arms.

I remember it all so vividly and it all just keeps playing over and over again in my head. I can be doing anything, but all I'll see is the moment I picked her up and my screaming.

I just hugged her as close to me as I could, and rocked back and fourth, and cried and screamed for my fiance. I know I was hysterical and I'm grateful he was able to quickly talk some sense into me and we rushed her to the nearest emergency clinic.

The staff was nice, and they took her in quickly, but the entire time we waited for word on how she was doing I felt so nauseous and shaky. I was glad when they pulled us into a room because there was other people in the waiting room and it was hard to hold back from crying. Honestly it felt like it was hard to breath the entire wait, but they said they had put her on oxygen and that they wanted to take x-rays and blood tests, and of course they wouldn't do it till they were sure we had enough money to cover the expenses for it, and to board her, and to keep her stable over the night - and that long back and fourth I feel contributed to the outcome honestly.

When we finally had gotten the x-ray's back and her blood work it showed that her blood was normal and her blood pressure was good, but the problem was just how many broken bones she had. One of her legs was broken in two places, her other one was dislocated and her pelvis was also broken. Then on top of that we couldn't clearly see what damage was done to her organs. They said her gums might be pale either because she was in shock or because she was bleeding internally.

I hate the way the doctor handled everything, and maybe it was just the fact that I was in such a stressful situation, but she just felt like she either didn't care, or wasn't sure how to handle the situation.

It felt like she just didn't know what to tell us, and that alone told me how this all might end. She told us that, surgically, there was nothing they could do for her there. My baby would have to go to a specialist to repair her broken bones, and all they could do was bandage her up some, and keep her comfortable and stable for her night stay.

After waiting in the room for a while, I was starting to get my hopes up because they came in and said that she was currently stable, and that we could go home and they would call to update us if anything changed.

They let us go to the back room to tell her good night, and we promised her that we would be back in the morning to pick her up and get her better.

We went to the main waiting room and signed off on the paper work that would allow then to perform CPR should anything happen, and then while we waiting for her paperwork and a copy of her x-rays they pulled us back into the room and informed us that she was going into cardiac arrest and they were starting CPR.

It felt like it all happened so fast. The doctor came in several times to tell us that they were still trying to resuscitate her, that she was having problems breathing on her own, and nothing had changed. And on the doctors final visit she informed us that they had tried to resuscitate her longer than protocol recommended, but they had to let her go.

End trigger warning

And just like that my baby was gone.

The doctor practically fled the room when I broke down. I was hyperventilating, I was lightheaded, nauseous. My fiance was so strong through all this, because she was his baby too, and did his best to calm me down and comfort me till I was coherent enough to communicate with the doctors and techs again.

One of the other things that hurt was the trip home with her stuff (I had called my parents and our friend who was renting one of our rooms to come say goodbye because they loved her too). My fiance sent me home with my mom while he and our friend waited for the staff to finish prepping her for them to bring back home so we could bury her.

I knew we didn't have the money to fix all her broken bones. The doctor had only given us a estimate for the cost of fixing one fracture, so that was all the money we had asked for on our credit card, but she had three and a dislocated hip.

Back in the room when things were starting to look up before it all came crashing down, I had come to terms with the fact that our baby would probably have to get her most damaged leg amputated so we could aford to pay for the hip replacement. She would have had to live the rest of her life with only three legs, but I knew she could do it and I and the rest of my family would be there to help her through every step of the way - helping her go to the bathroom, helping her relearn how to walk, and helping her with whatever therapy she would need to make her muscles strong enough to support her with only three legs. But she didn't make it, and we didn't have that chance or that option.

On the ride home, my mom said outloud what I had been thinking since the second I was told she was going into cardiac arrest:

She waited for me and her dad to come say goodbye before she let go.

She had been so strong to fight for her life for three hours till she could see us one more time.

It hurts

Mentally

Emotionally.

And I can feel it affecting me physically.

I'm so tired.

I feel so drained.

When I walk around the house, I keep turning around and expecting her to be right there behind me or at my side. She was my baby, my little shadow who followed me every where, my love, my heart, and right now, it feels like she was my soul too. Heck, just moment ago me and my fiance went to go snack on some cereal and he dropped a few pieces and, without even thinking, I said, "Give it to Honey."

All he could do was look at me sadly when I realized what I had said and I just went back to our room to cry.

I keep thinking I'll look outside the window and see her playing with her sister Penny, but the house is so quiet and Penny isn't running around and playing.

I may not post for a little bit, I will still keep writing because it does help take my mind off things, but even then it's hard to find the motivation to even pick up my phone other than to look through my gallery.

I apologize for keeping you all waiting, hopefully I will get something as good as the last few chapters out soon.

Thank you all for understanding.

[felixthekoala]

The Accident

Group: Stray Kids

Pairing: ChanxReader

Type: Angst

Description: You’re up late studying for finals and get behind the wheel the next day.  You get into an accident and fall into a coma, leaving Chan to deal with the aftermath.  (It alternates POVs between the reader and Chan)

a/n: All I’m going to say is I’m sorry for the ending I can’t help it XD

You

Your alarm beeped loudly, causing your head to jerk away from your desk where it had been resting. Shit, did I fall asleep here? You thought to yourself. You had been up all night studying for finals, and apparently you had dozed off at your desk. Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you slowly rose to get ready for school. Oh god, school. You were not ready to go think for eight hours after having gotten no more than six hours of sleep total the past few nights. Sighing, you finished getting ready and made your way to your car, still struggling to keep your eyes open and alert

Halfway through the drive, you had yet to fall asleep at the wheel, but you weren’t as alert as you knew you should have been. You accelerated to 40mph as the speed limit changed. Driving past a green light, you noticed a large SUV speeding into your lane. Unable to react fast enough, you just watched as it came barreling into your car. The last thing you saw was the front of the SUV headed directly towards your side of the car, before a sharp pain and then nothing but darkness.

Chan

“Where is she?!” Chan demanded, desperate to see her.

“I’m sorry, sir, only family can visit her right now,” the nurse responded in an annoyingly chipper voice. How could she be smiling when the love of his life had just gotten into a horrible car accident?

“I’m her boyfriend, isn’t that close enough?!”

“I’m sorry, sir.” was that all she could say?! He stormed off into the waiting area and began to pace, trying to figure out how he was going to get in to see her. Suddenly, her parents ran into the room, frantic. They froze when they saw him standing there.

“Chan? How are you here?” her mom asked, surprised.

“I actually flew in this morning to visit (y/n), but her friend texted me saying she’s in the hospital after a car wreck. I came here immediately, but they won’t let me see her or even know how she is because I’m not family,” Chan lamented.

“Well come with us, she wouldn’t want us to prevent you from seeing her,” her dad said, guiding Chan over to the desk.

“Excuse me, my daughter (y/n) was brought in from a car accident this morning. Please can we see her?” your mom pleaded. The nurse nodded and led them to a small room with a single bed in it. Her mom gasped and Chan’s legs almost gave out when they saw her. Chan scoured her bruised and bloodied face for any sign of consciousness, and when he found none he cried out, running over to the bed and kneeling down. He took her hand in his, careful not to disturb the arm wrapped in a pink cast.

“What’s happened to her?” he finally choked out. Her mom held her dad for support. All Chan had to hold was your immobile hand.

“She has a fractured right ulna, multiple breaks in both legs, a moderate concussion…” the doctor droned on, each word cutting into Chan like knives. How could this happen to her? She doesn’t deserve this. He froze when he heard the word ‘coma’.

You

You dreamed you were on the beach with Chan. It was summer, meaning you finally had gotten out of school and could visit him. The sounds of soft waves rolling in around you filled your ears, leaving you in a feeling of serenity. Chan smiled at you as he took your hand in his. You strolled together along the water’s edge, embracing the cool in the summer heat.

“I wish we could stay here forever,” he said wistfully after you had sat down on a blanket.

“Why can’t we?” you asked, caught up in the haven that was this beach. You laid down, resting your head in his lap. He sighed and started stroking your hair.

“Life. Eventually we’ll have to go back,” he finally answered.

“I don’t want to go back yet,” you whispered. The soft sound of his laughter brought a smile back to your face.

“Don’t worry, you can stay here with me a while longer.”

Chan

It had been weeks, and Chan had only left her bedside to go to the bathroom. He even ate his meals next to her. At night, he’d sleep in his chair resting his head on the bed, his hand entwined with hers. Her parents had started worrying about him.

“I’m concerned. He’s barely left her side. This isn’t healthy,” Chan heard her mom whispered to her dad one night, carefully slipping a pillow under Chan’s head. “I’m worried about her, too, of course I am. This is killing me too, but he’s not taking care of himself. I can’t imagine what’ll happen to him if…” she trailed off, but Chan knew what she was getting at. A tear slipped down his cheek as he thought of her never waking up again. No. She was going to wake up. He knew it. If she didn't…

You

“I’ve been thinking,” you said, dragging your finger through the sand. Chan rubbed circles in the palm of your other hand.

“Yeah?”

“What if we never went back? It’s so peaceful and easy here.” He just smiled.

“We can stay here as long as you like, but eventually you’ll want to go back.”

“I doubt that.” You placed your head on his shoulder and watched the waves roll in. “I want to stay here forever.”

Chan

Chan was losing it. It’d been over a month and there wasn’t even a twitch in her finger. He stood over her still body, anger and frustration building up.

“Why won’t you wake up?!” He wailed, tears streaming down his face. “Why?! Why did you leave me?!” His head fell onto her stomach and he wept until his eyes were empty of tears. The sound of shuffling feet caused his head to slowly rise, eyes severely red and puffy. When he saw who had walked in, he forced a weak smile, trying to seem stronger than he was. “Hi guys, I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, fighting to keep the smile on his face. They couldn’t see him like this. Felix stepped up to the bed, a morose look on his face as he looked at her.

“Of course we came. We love (y/n). We’re so sorry we’re just getting here now, JYP wasn’t happy about you taking a hiatus, even though it was for a family emergency, and he was extremely reluctant to let us go for even a weekend,” Felix explained as Minho walked over and placed a strong hand on Chan’s shoulder. Many of them looked to be on the verge of tears, especially Felix. He sniffled.

“This doesn’t seem real. She looks like she’s just peacefully sleeping and will wake up any minute,” Jeongin mused.

“I hope that’s the case. I hope she’s at least at peace,” Chan said, taking a shaky breath. Felix pulled him into a tight embrace.

“You can cry or scream or do anything, we won’t judge you,” he told him. “We’re here for you.” Chan’s smile got tighter as he struggled to stay strong.

“I’m okay, really. You guys don’t need to worry about me,” he tried to reassure Felix, but the younger boy wasn’t having it.

“Chan, I’d be screaming right now if I were you. I know it’s worse to keep it bottled up, just let it out. Scream, cry, do anything as long as it helps you feel better.” The second Felix said it, Chan broke down. A loud sob escaped his lips as he sank to the ground, finally letting himself go in front of them.

“I’m losing hope. What if-” He stopped, the words too painful to say. “What if she doesn’t wake up?” he said quietly, his head falling into his hands. The boys were now kneeling around him, and a tear slipped out of Felix’s eye and down his freckled cheeks.

“I want to tell you she’ll definitely wake up and everything will be okay, but I don’t want to fill you with too much hope on the off chance, you know,” Minho said lightly, and Chan’s sobs grew louder.

“Chan, we’re here for you. Whatever you need,” Hyunjin comforted him, shooting a look at Minho. Chan could only nod, the tears still constant. This was not how he was supposed to be in front of his members, he was supposed to be strong. That thought made it harder to stop crying and regain composure. They must be worried, too. (y/n) was like a sister to them. He looked up to see Felix sobbing, too. Chan hadn’t seen him cry that hard since he and Minho had gotten eliminated. Of course this was hard on Felix, (y/n) was his English-speaking buddy. They’d prank all the members together when she’d visit. Chan remembered the time they had all the boys screaming English expletives in the middle of the street in Seoul. He had been so annoyed with them then. But he’d happily have that happen every day for the rest of his life if it meant she would wake up.

“Chan, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think you should go out for a bit. Get some fresh air. You look like you haven’t left the hospital in a month.” Chan looked up at Jisung, who gasped. “You haven’t? Okay, I know this is super hard on you, it’s hard on all of us, but you have to still live your life.”

“SHE IS MY LIFE!” he exploded. They froze at his sudden outburst, shocked. He had never yelled like that. “She’s my whole life. I don’t know what I’m going to do if she doesn’t wake up.” He sat back own in his chair next to the bed and grasped her hand tightly. “Wake up, (y/n)! WAKE UP!” Fresh tears began to fall. “Godammit, (y/n), I love you! Please don’t leave me. WAKE UP!” The boys stood there watching their fearless leader fall apart, unable to help.

You

This paradise was slowly starting to seem more like a cage. Even though you loved being alone with Chan, you were starting to miss your life. It felt like forever since you had seen your friends or family.

“Chan?” He turned to face you.

“Yeah?” You could’ve sworn you heard a voice screaming in the distance. You took a deep breath.

“I’m ready to go home.”

Chan

“Guys! Look, her hand!” Jeongin exclaimed, pointing at her hand. It was twitching. Chan jolted up, examining her face. Her eyes fluttered open.

You

The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was a pair of puffy red eyes just inches from your face. They widened in excitement.

“(y/n!)” he exclaimed, puling you into a suffocating hug.

“Chan? What are you doing here? Where am I?” You looked around, confused. Your eyes fell on eight other boys, bright smiles spreading across their faces. “What are you guys doing here? Felix, have you been crying?” The little brat stuck his tongue out at you. Chan had yet to let go of his death grip on you, his arms wrapped around your torso like a boa constrictor.

“Oh, (y/n)! I thought I’d never see you again!” Chan exclaimed. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again, and you are going to get a full eight hours of sleep every night or I will come over and personally force you to stay in bed and not go to school.” You laughed.

“Okay, but why? What’s going on? What happened? You still haven’t answered where I am.” They all looked at each other, leaving you with a sense of dread.

“You got into a really bad car accident,” Chan said gently, now sitting at your side on the bed, your hands enveloped in his. “You broke many bones and…” he paused. “You’ve been in a coma for a month.” The second you heard those words the room started to spin. Was this true? How could that be? It had felt like you had been on that beach for maybe a few days, not a month.

“What?” You managed to get out, still shocked.

“It’s okay, you’re awake now, that’s what matters,” Chan reassured you, pulling you into another embrace. Felix stepped forward, looking at Chan.

“Uh, Chan? We know you love her and all, but we love her too. Do you think we could say hi to her?” he asked, and Chan reluctantly stepped away, sitting down in his chair. The boys ran over, swarming you. Felix was the first one to greet you, hugging you tightly.

“Oh my God, (y/n), we were so worried. Who would I have messed with people with if you were gone?” You heard a soft sniffle in your ear. That poor guy, he’d always been so kind-hearted and emotional. Just thinking of what your absence would do to him made you tear up.

“Hey, I’m here now. What do you say we mess with some nurses while I’m here?” you asked, looking into his eyes to make sure he was okay. He nodded, a bright smile replacing the pout on his face.

“Okay.”

Everyone greeted you, and surprisingly all of them hugged you tightly, even the least touchy members. Jeongin even hugged you.

After the last hug, Chan stood up.

“Alright that’s enough hugging of my girlfriend,” he ordered suddenly, grabbing your hand again. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine right now. But Chan, I have a question…”

“Yeah?” He looked at you expectantly. You hesitated, glancing down at your hand in his. You looked into his eyes and took a breath.

“Did I miss my finals?”