#god im just so sick of living here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ltc-henry-blake · 2 months

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Trying sooo hard to not spiral into a depression over leaving Arizona and going back home

#i had the best time out here and im so happy i got to go #and ill be fine i just #im so sick of living in [redacted] and im so sick of my job #i know i got a lot to be thankful for and i have family around which is why i stay there #but God the urge to just pack up and move across the country is almost overwhelming #so anyway if anyone wants to move out to the desert with me lets do it #my posts

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yutadori · 9 days

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having immature parents sucks so bad

#why am i the one who has to act mature all the time oh my god #we're having pest control come tomorrow and they require everyone to leave the unit for at least four hours afterwards #and my mom thought shed be working tomorrow but she called me at like 10 pm to tell me to reschedule bc /she/ got the day wrong #and when i told her she just has to find somewhere to go for just four hours her response was “where ?? you want me to go and be homeless #for four hours???“ which doesnt even make any fucking sense #its only four hours ?????? she can literally go hang out with her sister or go to the park #and she was like “YOU can go to the park im not a park person” ???? you are asking me and i am simply giving you options . its not my fault #that she got the day wrong ?????? and they cant change the appointment bc its way way too last minute.#and she got mad at me and started going on and on about how she cant wait for her life once im out of it like HUH ??????#im the one who's been putting all thos shit together i called the landlady and im the one cleaning up and clearing out all of our stuff #out of the cabinets and everything like shes literally doing nothing all she has to do is go outside for just a few hours !!!!#yet she has the gall to complain and act like im making her life so difficult when she hasnt done a single thing to help lol . she acts like #she isnt living here and it pisses me off so baddddd jesus christ im so sick of everything lol #ss

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palms-upturned · 8 months

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#meg talks #abt to head back into work #the start of a long fucking week #last time i tried to go back to work i literally collapsed on the ground from how tired and sick i was #if anything it feels like im just getting worse now #my nerve pain is so bad #and my coughing fits make me see spots #at least i don’t have fever anymore and the congestion isn’t as bad #i can breathe okay #but god. im scared that this will be my new baseline #which will mean that i can’t work here anymore…#and it’s just too early to tell. it could take weeks to get my full strength back and i might be fine #but that’s weeks of wondering #and trying to muscle through #which could be making things worse. fuck if i know #i want to quit so bad but at the same time i don’t want to. i don’t want to be muscled out #it just sucks so bad.#and they let this happen to fucking ten out of fifteen of us all at the same time #they really don’t give a shit about our lives #they can always just replace us with cheaper labor.

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lonelyplanetfag · 1 month

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fun fact i got on a call tn cuz i thought itd make me feel better cuz ive been rly fucking miserable lately n usually that helps but in all honesty it made everything one million times worse n im so sad abt it

#it wasnt even his fault it was my faukt for being like this #n for being a dumb bitch #but it still sucks #n now im jsut laying here all lonely n jealous n upset #n i never wanna call anybody or talk to anybody ever again #n it's my own fuckjn fault #im gonna be like this forever yk #this is jsut the best its gonna get for me n nobody fucking listens when i say that #its all 'it'll get better eventually' 'u just gotta wait until u can do this that m the other'#all that bullshit #n thags all it is its all just bullshit #cuz nobody likes it when somebody's upset nobody likes to just sit with u n let u be upset #n it sucks #it sucks so bad #n i get that i csnt expect anyone to deal w me on the bad nights #cuz the bad nights are mostly all of them #n thags not fair to expect of someone or to even want rly #but goddamn i just wish i had somebody id feel ok talking to #it's so bad man i always feel so bad #its been like this forever n im sick n fucking tired of it #but god fucking forbid a i wanna cut myself abt it #n god fucking forbid it makes me not wanna live so much #jesus fucking christ #theres not a good reason for me to stick around #idont make anybody happy i dknt do anything worth a damn im not worth being around #n thats just how it is #thats just how it fucking is its not even a mstter of opinion

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m-e-w-666 · 3 months

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i obsessively watch tiktoks too but like why is everyone on tiktok Like That

#as in why are the commenters so annoying that they bring up one thing that happened in one video forever #im sick of it like imagine how the creators feel #i can’t even comment that on tiktoks cuz i don’t comment i just like and reblog or whatever it’s called there #but holy fuck #and how trends and memes get twisted all the time #and i’ve been to various sides of tiktok right #my algorithm and i went on long treacherous journeys #and every time there’s commenters with no reading comprehension like god #piss on the poor #anywas #i love tiktok i love the creators but #holy fuck are some ppl annoying on there #let creators live be nice to eachother #oh and another thing is when someone’s mean to another person and everyone acts like it’s okay because they find it funny #ough #like yes all of these aren’t tiktok specific problems but i see it on tiktok A Lot and i am pissed #so i’m here to vent about it instead of being mean to strangers on the internet

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solcarow · 4 months

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#aw booooo eyebrow twitch isnt as cute in the webtoon <- guy who just does not like the webtoon artstyle #hm #im reminded of what an unhinged detail that is to notice like i understand being aware of that little character tic but recognizing it irl #is a whole different thing #kdj … pokes him in the eyes #one step closer the 1863 ….. <- there is an entire flight of stairs left to get there #actually wait . kind of excited for ‘i was so happy that i wanted to call out his name.’ no one ever #talks about that scene but it lives in my brain forever #jd yuri moment of all time to me .. second to lets go back to earth which precedes that line #ok im getting ahead of myself #damn i cant believe it we’re really finally here #10th scenario started so get ready ‘do you think im an emotionless monster’ is coming right up #ITS SO EVIL THAT KDJ BROUGHT HER ACTUALLY . SHE WASNT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE KIM DOKJA YOU ARE A SICK FREAK ….#she was the only one he could trust completely god i hate hankim .#the webtoon having her sitting on the ground like a loser while everyone was having fun was such a great touch i love u hsy #i wonder how theyre gonna draw the demon king form tho #iirc it was described as grotesque and monstrous i dont really trust the webtoon not to leave the design w only horns and wings

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attractthecrows · 4 months

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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time

#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying #danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell #varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole #warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here #anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp #'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff #amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face #tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet #eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way #to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there #to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell

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mewtwo24 · 4 months

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You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.

Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡

Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme

#mdzs #i was really out here thinking svsss would be my fave bc of lbh #and then i finally get around to reading mdzs and it blows my expectations out of the fucking water holy actual shit #and i just had this feeling the first time i read parts of it like 'oh. this series is going to kill me. im not coming back from this.'#and here i am booboo the fool getting my clown ass make-up on #idk how to explain it like i just fucking LOVE mxtx's takes on arrogance #that wwx is constantly being perceived as a show off and an incorrigible flirt and a know it all #how wwx cant always help the ways he acts out the desperation that has embedded itself into his very bones #how wwx only ever wanted to do the right thing and that having been so much of his downfall #how his worth and talent would always be eclipsed by virtue of his circumstances #how he's above needing recognition at his core but at the same time longs for an ounce of good will and positive recognition ->#how human he is despite his brilliance. how he never gets it no matter how hard he tries to be worthy.#like to me wwx is emblematic of what it means to be poor/an immigrant in high places #always villified always alien always wrong always unwelcome #no matter how clever or capable or kind youll always be an eyesore because you don't 'act right'. not 'one of them.' you never will be.#i just...the way he just wanted it all to be over by the end. the way he didnt even want to come back to life. that he was sick of it all.#im rattling the bars of my cage i love him I LOVE HIM i love him #i understand you lan wangji (and i love lwj too)#and even lan wangji too like. the way so many of their issues in the beginning stems from that self-same problem #how lwj couldn't live with his out of control feelings how he too couldn't quite lay down his pride #how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance #that the calamity of wwx's loss forced him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about himself and his life #how he was left with nothing but regret. how when wwx returns--lwj refuses to leave anything to chance this time #he refuses to let wwx be alone anymore--refuses to let him hurt himself for the sake of others refuses to just let it all happen #even if it means overstepping a boundary or propriety it doesn't matter--as long as wwx stays with him. pride be damned #god i just can't i just can't do it im biting im ripping things apart GOD #will also say the jokes about lwj being like. 'strict moral compass or BUST.' and then wwx literally committing like 17 felonies in the bg #while lwj is like 'crimes? what crimes. nothing to see here.' NEVER stops being funny. like i was pissing myself laughing #i know its a known trope but by god are they hilarious about it #also. lan qiren how many times do your nephews have to go catatonic for you to stop with the catholic guilt and repression

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stinkrascal · 1 year

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oh btw we leave TOMORROW which means i can be home to make story posts n see my kitties finally!!!!!

#i miss them soooo much #this has been the least relaxing vacation ever #thank god nobody planned anything today bc i am not leaving this airbnb til we have to leave tmrw #im grateful we even have the chance to go on this vacation bc it has been a lot of fun too #but soooo stressful and ive gotten sick every day since we got here #bc we’re in the car driving down mnts all day ;-;#i just miss being at home #oh and now my bf is talking about getting transferred to CO office for work so we can live here instead lmaooooo #which tbh i would NOT be mad at all if we moved to colorado! but i would probably be bedridden for a few weeks 😭#but hey thats what the legal weed is here for #either way i did have fun! im just so exhausted now and i miss my house. but im happy i got 2 experience life here #it is soooooo so so so different to louisiana like i cannot express this enough. im shocked this state exists #when all ive known my whole life is bumfuck LA. it is just so cool to see how much more the usa can offer!!!#makes me feel like less of a doomer aha

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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#my mom: u should maybe start taking birth control to regulate ur mood #me: meh whatever. its not like that bad #cut to one week later where im vibrating out of my skin while sick. transitioning into random undirected terror. transitioning into #a loss of focus and brainfog. exacly on schedule #i am laying on the floor. im like. ive got the hysteria. bleh. i was supposed to go into thr lab but im so. dont wanna stand up #also a fucking mosquito bit me on thr back of thr knee and im mildly allergic so it's super swollen #ugh. and i fucking cant find an apartment. god. college towns. housing shortage. fucking bullshit #my apartment rn is 600 including utilities and its a nice lil studio. there the cheapest i can find is like 850 for a place with 4 #roomates. ive been spoiled by living here for 4 years. ugh. i just wanna kno i have a place to go #i also wanna b able to focus. and draw. and not work here anymore lol #but whatever. itll b fine. probably less than 2 months left now #unrelated #i feel like a victorian maiden. take me to the countryside for treatment. banish me out into nature. that will heal me

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identityquest · 2 years

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ive been playing a lot of pokemon-like games lately to search for something new to fill the void of the desire to collect creatures... so many games show so much promise but there's always something holding them back. it's usually just like one thing and i cant get too mad bc a lot of them are either extremely inexpensive or outright free. but it sucks to be playing a game thats otherwise solid only for it to suck bc like, the writing is abysmal or the gameplay loop is miserable. the most egregious thing ive encountered in a lot of these games is the lack of a robust bestiary. like thats the main reason i played pokemon and stuck with it, when prof rowan asked me to research for him i took that seriously 😭 i want to know abt the animals please for the love of god give me a description, a habitat range some fun facts. please

#strato.txt #i got spoiled to gen IV dex w/ footprints and the height and weight scale and the cry remixer and form differences..#when they took away footprints i sobbed cried and screamed. i was like WHERE ARE THEIR LITTLE PAWS....#maybe its cause i associated footprints w/ that guy who gives you a ribbon if your friendship is maxed out #cause he reads how much ur pokemon love you by the way they leave footprints in the sand... sigh #anyways. the scale for showing u how much pokemon weighed was cool too. how it launched dawn/lucas if the pokemon was heavy enough #i just really. REALLY want to feel like a field researcher that was always so important to me as a kid. going out and learning and growing #the villainous team is just a roadblock. and obstacle in my path to learn and see the world #i feel like gamefreak has shifted from learning as a narrative to coming of age and saving the world as a narrative. im sick of it tbh #is that what kids want these days. when i was a kid i wanted to be an astronaut and a paleontologist #so many games are getting the 'whoa cool beast' thing down. theyre the tyrannosaurus lovers. they like the cool animal and its evolution #but theyre neglecting like... the nature part? the part where the animal clicks in with the world. where its part of the ecosystem #they know that trex is cool and huge but not that it lived in a subtropical climate dominated by angiosperms.#the pokemon co and gamefreak have gone to great lengths to make pokemon feel REAL #they exist in their environments and shape them and interact with each other. many prey on each other #pokemon inhabit certain regions of the world bc thats their /ecosystem/. theyre not just randomly placed...#oh my god. i have more to say but im stopping here. im stopping

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kneworder · 10 months

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the dudes with the fucking horns and accordions who march up and down my street were fun for exactly one day PLEASE get out of here i do NOT need to hear horn jingle bells for the millionth time actually

#i love how lively and festive this city is during christmas but i am getting sick of these guys my GOD #they wake me up on the weekends too like please......... im trying to hibernate....................#at least the hare krishna people just do one lap and then move on these guys are gonna be here and audibly so loud for like half an hour

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orchideius · 2 years

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if my life doesn’t get better in two years, I think I will join the 27 club lollll