#god knows how long it’ll stay in a notebook haha

[panthermouthh]

And I said, “Hello, Satan

I believe it’s time to go.”

[blueluneacy]

Worthy of Being His

whoaaa lune is multi fandom now! That’s right folks, @yanderebloodlust got me into Twisted Wonderland, and now I’m in too deep. This is also a thank you for a gift they gave me, haha.

It’s Yandere! Vil Schoenheit/Reader! I had a lot of fun with this one, but BOY, did I go overboard

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: yandere, emotional abusive behavior, stalking, kidnapping, probably inappropriate uses of curses

Also, Read on AO3!

It started with lip balm. He had noticed how it was left on the table, picking it up after he had gotten up to get himself some water. Vil wasn’t the type to be eating after a certain time of night, but sometimes even he too woke up with a dry throat. It probably wasn’t something he should’ve noticed, it sort of just… Stood out. It wasn’t his brand, so what was it doing here? He had already given everyone what they were supposed to use. 

Of course, his answer would come soon enough, as you bounded down the stairs, looking around wildly, only to brighten up when you saw your precious lip balm in Vil’s hands, jogging on over to him.

“Ah, thank god you found it! I was tearing apart my room for it. Can I have it back?” You asked, looking up at him. He was shorter than he usually was, those thirteen centimeter heels really giving him a boost, but he was still a lot larger than you would’ve expected. Aren’t pretty boys supposed to be on the shorter side?

“Lip balm? Shouldn’t you be asleep, why are you worrying about this?” Vil’s voice was so sharp, to the point where you wanted to cower. You swallowed, looking away and letting out a nervous laugh. His presence was always so imposing, commanding respect that you wanted nothing more but to run away. 

“Ah, well, I was reading over some of my notes for magical history, so I stayed up. When I was finally getting ready for bed, I realized my lip balm wasn’t anywhere to be found. I put it on every night before bed. I had to clear out all the stuff I usually just keep in the bathroom since you all are here, so I just misplaced it..” You told him, finding yourself unable to meet Vil’s eyes, instead just looking at the ground. Why was this feeling more like an interrogation than a normal conversation? Vil just paused, looking over the container, reading it. It was just some cheap, drugstore lip balm. Nothing like his products, but it was something. He never expected that out of all the people here, you would be the only one who at least paid SOME attention to that sort of thing.

“Why use this? If you need something, you could’ve just asked. I can get you some of my lip cream, I have more than enough. This must have only cost two hundred madol, and probably only works that well.” He replied. You laughed a bit, shaking your head.

“It was one hundred fifty, actually. But I can’t accept it. That lip balm is important to me.” You said. Vil raised an eyebrow, as if shocked you would dare to tell him no, before you quickly tried to explain yourself. “I-It’s not like I’m rejecting your kindness, I just… I earned that. I bought it with some money I earned after helping out at Monstro Lounge.” You told him. Vil scoffed at that, crossing his arms.

“You actually work at that place? I thought you would be a classier person than that.” He scolded. You held back a small sound of fear that you wanted to let out. 

“I mean, I’m not a regular employee or anything! They were just busy, and I uh… Well, money is money. The Headmaster gets me what I need, but I really don’t need much. I have clothes and shoes and notebooks, but that lip balm… That’s something that’s entirely mine, not just a uniform and notes everyone else takes. Does that make any sense?” You told him. Vil paused for a moment, before dropping your lip balm into your hands.

“No.” He said flatly, before walking off. Suddenly he wasn’t so thirsty. “Get to bed. We have practice early tomorrow, and I’m not going to tolerate it if you don’t get up in time.” He told you as he started to climb up the stairs. You looked down at your precious thing, holding it to your chest. Thank goodness, Vil had given it back. You watched as he walked up the stairs, going off to his room. Why was he like that?

The second incident was after the VDC, while you were walking to class after breakfast. Epel had joined you along with everyone that morning, since class 1-A and 1-B were having a joint session for alchemy. 

“By the way, Prefect. You need to stop picking at your face, it’s going to burst open and then scar.” Epel told you, leaving you to immediately put your hand down. You couldn’t help it. Every time you spoke, you felt the pimple that had developed right under your lip. 

“You should just pop it. It’ll get it all over with, and then you can wash it out.” Ace told you, leaving Deuce to shake his head.

“You learned nothing about your skincare training camp, did you?” He scolded Ace, leaving Ace to shrug.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad, can it? There’s whole Magicam accounts about pimple popping, you just need the right technique.” He said, before looking down at you with a mischievous grin. “Come on, Grim, hold them still. I’ll pop it right now.” He said, only for Epel to laugh as you stepped back, giggling all the while.

“I’m not letting you anywhere near my face! You probably didn’t even wash your hands!” You said, laughing as you started to jokingly run away from them, both Ace and Grim chasing after you.

“Come on, it’ll be easy! Like bursting a bubble!” Ace teased.

“You say that only after watching videos of it on Magicam! Epel would definitely be the expert, not you!” Grim told Ace, leaving you to laugh, you didn’t even notice he was there until you ran right into his chest.

“My my. Is this anyway to act in front of your Upperclassmen?” You looked up, only to see you had bumped right into Vil. You gasped, backing up a bit, but before you could get back to your respective personal space, Vil grabbed you by the chin, looking over the blemish on your face.

“Well, the Prefect’s dead.” You heard Ace behind you, and you just felt yourself go pale, averting your eyes. You never felt like you could meet his eyes.

“I… I’m sorry, Vil, we were just fooling around, I didn’t see you there…” You told him. Something about the way you spoke made Vil’s heart speed up, but he ignored it for now.

“It’s inflamed because you won’t leave it alone. What kind of cleanser do you use that allowed this to happen?” You said, before getting even more nervous.

“Uh… Just soap. But I try not to touch my face, so it uh, evens out, right?” You said, before Vil gave you what was possibly the most disgusted face you had ever seen. 

“Is this… The example that you are giving? After all I’ve taught all of you, this is what you’re doing.” Vil said, letting you go.

“Hey, it’s not their fault! The Headmaster only gives them the bare minimum! Half the time, they’re taking in laundry just to buy new pens!” Grim complained. Vil raised an eyebrow, looked down at you, but you refused to meet anyone’s eyes.

“I… I have everything I need. I’m grateful for everything that I have now.” You said, turning away. You hated thinking about that, hated talking about that. It didn’t matter. You didn’t need anything here. You could survive off the bare minimum, bide your time until the Headmaster finally found you a way home. So, why did you feel your eyes watering? Vil just looked down at you, still holding onto you, until you finally pulled away when the bell rang.

“I’m going to be late. Excuse me.” You said, running off. Vil saw that Ace the others quickly came beside you, trying to comfort you, but you just shook them off, You didn’t need their comfort. And Vil watched you, remembering how he saw your eyes water. It shouldn’t bother him. He was used to making underclassmen cry at this point. But for some reason, he felt… Bad.

Later that day, you let yourself cry. You could long for home when you were alone. When you heard the doorbell ring, you almost wanted to just let them sit there, but you just wiped your eyes and went to the door. But when you opened it, no one was there, only a box with your name on it. You looked around, but you didn’t see anyone. When you opened it, you gasped, blinking a bit as you opened it up, only to find fancy skincare products in it. You gasped, looking around to try and find who gave it to you, mostly so you could give it back, but no one was there. Well… It would be a waste not to use it, right? You brought it inside, and let yourself enjoy the small luxury. The next day, Epel even commented on it.

“It does look a lot better than before. Just make sure it doesn’t get infected.” He told you. You just smiled.

“It’s all thanks to you. Please, you have to let me repay you somehow.” You told him, but he just raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” He asked. You just laughed.

“You don’t need to play coy with me. I know you’re the one who left that box outside of my dorm. None of those idiots would ever actually remember what it is to treat this sort of thing.” You told him, but Epel just stared at you, bewildered.

“I didn’t leave any box for you, I promise.” He told you. You blinked, opening your mouth to respond, only to hear Epel get called out to by Rook.

“Ah, sorry, I have to go. I hope everything works out with you and your face.” He told you, grabbing his books and running off. You watched him leave, sitting and thinking to yourself. If it wasn’t Epel, then who could’ve…

You didn’t ever notice Vil around the corner, watching you, trying to force his heart to calm. He was disgusted, this was something he expected someone like Rook to be doing, and here he was. You were ugly, a potato, not worthy to even be looked at by him. And yet, he couldn’t look away.

The third incident left you laying your head over the textbooks as Deuce looked over your test.

“Wow. You did even worse than me. I didn’t think that was possible.” He said, leaving you to sigh. 

“I know, I know. You don’t have to state the obvious. I really need to study this, or else…” You went pale, pulling yourself and staring down at your textbook.

“I’m surprised. Usually you do really well in school. Did something happen?” He asked. You sighed. You couldn’t just… Say what you felt, because it was stupid. You couldn’t just say that you felt like you were suddenly being watched by someone without proof you were actually being watched. It was stupid. You were stupid.

“I guess my mind was in other places. Don’t worry, I’ll just study hard, and then ace the makeup. I got this, really.” You told him. Deuce just sighed, giving you a worried look.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to sit and study with you?” He asked, but you just smiled, shaking your head.

“It’s not fair of me to keep you. I don’t mind if you go on, really. Besides, you only scored a few points higher than I did. Let’s face it, you probably are as clueless as I am right now.” You said, only for Deuce to wince.

“You’re blunt to the point of being unkind. Alright, but… Just text one of us if you need anything, alright?” He told you. You just smiled and nodded, watching as he walked off, before burying yourself back in your readings. 

Maybe you should’ve accepted his help. Two hours in, and you felt like you had gotten nowhere, sitting and looking over the same words over and over again. God, what now? Maybe you could beg Deuce to try and make a joint study session with the two of you and Riddle? He always knew what he was doing in Alchemy. Ah, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to subject yourself to that sort of… Study techniques. You were so lost in thought on what to do, that you didn’t notice as he came up to your table?

“Not running through the walls today?” You looked up and saw Vil glaring down at you, immediately looking away. Maybe it was for the best that you didn’t look at Vil, for that way you didn’t notice the dark, strange look in his eyes.

“Ah, no. I’m in the middle of studying. I have a makeup test tomorrow.” You told him. Vil actually scoffed at that.

“A makeup test? You’re the Prefect for your dorm, you shouldn’t be having to take things like that. It’s shameful.” He scolded. You just let your nails dig into your palms. God, why was he always so mean to you? You tried to let it roll off your back, but with how stressed you were about this exam, it really wasn’t working.

“Well, it can’t be helped. I can’t do anything about it now, so I just need to study hard and do well tomorrow.” You said, looking down at your textbook, just staring at the pictures in hopes that it would drill something into your brain. Vil looked over your papers, before sitting down, grabbing one of your notebooks and looking it over. You gasped as you looked at him, how his eyes pored over your notes, before he sighed.

“Your first problem is that you take bad notes. You try to write down everything the book says, instead of figuring out what the meat of work is and going from there.” He told you, before grabbing your textbook right from under you. “Chapter 12, huh? Luckily for you, I got a perfect score on that test. As long as you promise to put in the effort, I can help you. But I’m not going to go easy on you either.” He told you. You blinked as you looked at him. Vil. Cruel, awful Vil, was going to help you. You couldn’t help but ask.

“W… Why are you-” But before you could finish your question, he answered it for you.

“Don’t think I’m doing this for you. Next year, if more students get sorted into Ramshackle Dorm, then you’ll officially be a dorm head. That means, your actions and behavior now reflect your dorm, and thus, the school as a whole. I won’t let your lack of effort be something that brings our school’s reputation down.” He was oh so good at lying too. He was so good at pretending that this wasn’t just an attempt to spend some time with you, that he wanted nothing more to bask in your presence. Why? Compared to him, you were nothing. Nothing but one of the hundreds of faces that he had seen. But ever since that night at the dorm, you wouldn’t leave his mind. This was all just something of a phase. Once he spent some time with you, it would wear off. But the way you looked at him, before smiling, was well…

“Well then, I’ll be in your care, Vil. I promise to do my best!” It was just too damn cute! He barely was able to keep his blush down at your words, before looking over the textbook and getting a vague outline of what it was he needed to go over with you.

And god, you were just so attentive to him when he spoke. You wrote down what he said, despite him already scolding you to paraphrase, but you asked earnest questions, and you did your best to try and understand. By the end of the evening, you were able to recite the contents of any potion he threw at you, leaving him to smile. Perhaps… Well, if you were able to put in the effort like this, then you too could be polished into something marvelous.

“Gosh, thank you Vil, really. This is the first time I’ve felt completely prepared for a test in a while. You really are a great teacher.” You told him, and he couldn’t help but bask in your praise. Why? He got praise from people like you all the time. So why did yours affect him so much?

“Well, we’ll see. Do tell me how you do on the exam tomorrow.” He said, standing up as he looked at the clock. “It’s late. I’ll walk you back to your dorm.” Vil told you, but you just shook your head, gasping as you saw the clock.

“God, Grim is probably worried sick! And the cafeteria is closed by now…” You sighed, before looking over at Vil as you packed up your things. “Don’t worry, I’ve kept you late as it is, with all my silly questions. When I get my test results, you’ll be the first person I go to! Is there anything I can do to repay you?” Maybe… He wasn’t as bad as you thought. Sure, his personality was poisonous, but he had a good heart underneath it all. 

“Hmm… I’ll think about it. But yes, show me the results. We’ll see if you actually paid attention.” Vil said, smiling as you waved goodbye, running off back to your dorm. He held a hand to his chest, noticing that after everything, his heart did not slow. So this… This was the true thing. It was said that the curse of the princess in legends was broken by true love’s kiss. Was it possible that love could’ve…

“You’ll be mine. You’re the one who cursed me with this, you’ll have to take responsibility.”

The fourth incident was a week after the exam, when you got your results back. You grinned as you looked it over.

“Perfect marks. It seems even bad puppies can become obedient. You did a very good job, Prefect. You should be proud.” You smiled at Crewel’s words. When he had called you after class to “talk” about your makeup exam results, you expected the worst, not praise. But you weren’t going to throw it away.

“It’s all because I had an amazing teacher.” You told him, letting him preen under the misunderstanding. If he wanted to believe you meant him and not Vil, that was fine.

“Oh, you do know just what to say. Go on now, you’re released. I expect to see this level of achievement from now on.” He told you, leaving you to run off. You had to find Vil, you had to tell him just what you got. You even zipped past Ace and Grim, telling them that you would talk to them later. You just ran to the Pomefiore dorm, zipping past other students, before finally getting there. You saw Rook, taking a deep breath, before jogging over to him. 

“Ah, La petite souris has come to visit us. What is it that you need today?” He asked, only to leave you to smile.

“Um, is Vil here? I have something I need to tell him about. It’s good news, don’t worry!” You smiled. Rook just gasped.

“Oh? Could it be about your makeup exam? How did you do?” He asked, leaning to look over at your paper. “Ah, toutes nos félicitations! He’ll be very proud of you.” Rook got up, but you just tilted your head to the side, blinking.

“How did you…” It seemed everyone was answering your questions before you could finish them.

“Vil told me about it. I like to know why my dorm head breaks his own self mandated curfews, after all.” He chuckled, before pointing you down the hall. “He should be in his room. You’ll know the door when you see it, trust me.” Rook smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back. Something about his positivity was infectious. 

“Ah, thank you! I’ll be seeing you!” You told him, running off down the hall as Rook watched, smiling to himself.

“Alors la souris va à la rencontre du chat.” 

You really could tell when it was Vil’s door. It was decorated to really suit him. Normally, you would be scared to just knock on his door willy nilly, but this was a special occasion. So you knocked proudly, standing and waiting.

“God, what is it that you need that you couldn’t text me Roo-” Vil said, before his eyes landed on you. He stared down at you, wide eyed, before taking a deep breath, looking down at his phone to check himself over. Good, he was fine. “It’s… it’s just you. What is it?” He asked, only for you to grin and hold up your test.

“Look! I told you that you would be the first person I would come to, right?” You said, grinning as Vil looked over your test. Hmm.. You actually did very well. He smiled, before making a decision. Then, it was finally time. It was earlier than he planned, but you came to him. No one could fault him for that. “Well then, come in.” He told you, walking inside and expecting you to follow. His dorm was actually nice, well kept. You noticed some textbooks out, leaving you to gasp as you shut the door behind the two of you.

“Oh, did I disturb your studying? I’m sorry, I can go if you’d like.” You said, but he just motioned for you to sit, opening up a cabinet. 

“You’re lucky. I just brought a pot of tea in here for my studying. It’s lemongrass, perfect for studying while keeping in good form.” He told you. You just smiled as you watched him pour the tea, but you were still quite concerned with looking over the room, admiring his silken sheets or beautiful curtains. Maybe if you had paid attention, you would’ve noticed him whispering out a spell, before handing you the teacup. You took a sip, before your eyes widened at Vil.

“Wow… This is really good! You’ll have to give me your source on the tea leaves, I’m so jealous.” You told him.

“Do you drink a lot of tea?” He asked. He was realizing that he really didn’t know a lot about you. He had been able to weasel information out of Epel after his obsession started, how you were from another world, unable to use or detect magic, but you were hardworking and occasionally weak willed to other people’s whims. You really were perfect.

“I used to be indifferent, but ever since I came here, I’ve ended up drinking a lot of it. I guess since a lot of my friends are in Heartslabyul, I just got accustomed to it. Riddle doesn’t let you off the hook if you aren’t a dorm member, haha.” You told him, taking another sip, unnoticing about how Vil clenched his fist. That was another emotion that you caused. Whenever he saw you with another student, even one of his own dorm members, there was something… Ugly that fluttered. Something that hated how you spoke to kindly to them, how you spent your precious time with them. Your time should only belong to him-

“I see. Well, certain teas supposedly can help you become more beautiful, according to some. I don’t believe in any of those diet teas though. There’s no shortcut to beauty, only hard work and perseverance.” He said, taking a sip of his own tea. 

“Aha, yeah. That’s Vil for you. No one can ever say you don’t work hard.” You said. This was his chance. He smiled as you, placing his cup down and looking at you. There was a warmth in his eyes, making you feel at ease.

“You know, if you were to work, you could be beautiful too. I’ve already seen such record improvement after you started using my gift.” He told you. You gasped, looking at him wildly.

“Ah, so you were the one that left me those creams?! You didn’t have to do that, please, I’ll pay you back for them-” You started, but Vil held up a finger, silencing you.

“You should let your upperclassman finish speaking before you reply. That’s a habit we’ll have to work on.” He told you. You paused, before nodding. You wanted to appease your upperclassman, just like you did with any other upperclassman and your teachers. You really were such a good Prefect.

“But there’s still work to be done. Even now, I can see breakage in your hair, chewing on your nails, wrinkles in your uniform, and so on.” Vil told you, you felt shame rise to your face, looking down into the tea, seeing your reflection. Did you… Really look that bad? “That doesn’t mean there isn’t hope, however. I can start the paperwork so you’ll be an official member within a week. Sure, you’ll start at the bottom rung, but you’re a first year. It’s not like you won’t move up, and I promise you’ll be a lot happier here than in that poor, Ramshackle dorm. The room right next to me is open, so I’ll be able to keep a nice eye on you.” He told you. Your eyes widened as you stared at him, trying to process what he had said. You… A member of Pomefiore? It was something you couldn’t even imagine, but still… The idea of being in a dorm, a regular dorm member like everyone else was nice. You could have built in friends, a group of people you could rely on, and Vil would help you. No more ghosts, or having to constantly try and work to keep back cobwebs. You could be a respectable student, rather than someone everyone gawked at.

“I won’t put you through any special rituals, you’ve already proven you’re more than worthy to be here. So, what do you say, Prefect?” Vil said. He could see the want in your eyes. It was a good idea for him to start earlier, to give into his instinct to have you sooner rather than later. With this, he could finally give into the beating of his beautiful heart.

“... I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Then why did you say that? He stared at you as you looked down at your tea, smiling softly to yourself. He loved that smile, but why were you smiling now?! “Even if it sounds nice, I can’t give up my duties at Ramshackle Dorm. What would Grim do without me? And besides… I’m going to leave this world one day. It would be terrible to have to disappear on you all.” You told him. Vil just sat there, staring at you dumbfounded. He wasn’t used to people telling him no, that was for sure. And it made him mad, but he couldn’t just go off and say it. Instead, he laughed. It was a hearty, jovial sound, something that made you nervous.

“You really are a great Prefect, aren’t you? I’m surprised more people haven’t made this offer to you. But then again, you would’ve rejected all of them too.” Vil chuckled. His word put you at ease, making you sigh as you set your teacup down.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you. I’ll let you get back to your studies.” You told him as you stood up, collecting your things and moving onto the door. Vil still chuckled to himself, but you just ignored it, until you stepped to the door. You just… stood there. You didn’t know why you stood there, but before the door, you couldn’t move a muscle. You couldn’t reach out to the doorknob, with Vil’s laughter only becoming louder in your ears.

“W… What did you do?” You asked, turning back to Vil, staring at him as he gave you a wild look, in a way that you could only describe as deranged.

“Anyone who drinks this tea will be unable to leave this room without the permission of Vil Schoenheit. It’s a simple curse, but quite effective.” He told you. Your blood went cold as you tried to step back, trying to reach out beyond all hope to the doorknob, hoping beyond all hope that this was nothing but a sick prank, that he was just messing with you. And yet, Vil let himself drape his arms over you, pulling you close to him as he touched you, finally able to touch you without any regrets. You were warm, as warm as you were when you bumped into him that day. He reached and touched a piece of your hair, relishing in this without any regrets.

“It’s fine if you don’t accept it now. I’ll simply keep you here until you do.” Vil purred, leaving you to struggle against his hold, looking for some sort of escape from the beautiful room that was quickly becoming a personal hell.

“You can’t do this. You have to let me go, people will be looking for me.” You begged, but Vil just shook his head.

“Idia only shows up to class via a phone half the time, and Malleus is a famous no show. It’s practically tradition among dorm heads not to show up. It’ll be awhile before people really look.” He told you, rubbing small, soothing circles along your back. “I’ve already prepared a schedule for us, so you’ll begin your training as soon as I finish setting up my curses on you.” Vil told you. You gave him a look of despair, but even that, in a way, was beautiful, wasn’t it? Your lips, that you had taken so well care of with that lip balm you loved you so much, were prime to be made his, and he would let himself relish in it, pressing his against yours and he pushed you ahead the door, pressing his body against you in a fervour. Vil couldn’t help but drown in you, and you had no choice but to accept it, whether you liked it or not. When he pulled away and looked into your fear ridden eyes, he just smiled.

“I’ll turn you into a person worthy of being mine.”

[staticscreenwriting]

I don’t love you // Chapter 1

Chapter One - Bluebird 

Synopsis: Jess is over Rory, only he’s not. Olivia is tired of trying to find the one piece missing from her life, only she’s not. A wedding, a bus ride, a lost notebook and an unforseen offer bring these two together and spark the idea that maybe the best people do enter your life in the most unexpected ways. A/N: I’ve uploaded parts of this story before on a blog specifically dedicated to it but I want most of my writing in one place so here’s a reupload. This is NOT a literati fic! 

" There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him,I say, stay in there,

I'm not going to let anybody see you. "

- Bluebird (Charles Bukowski)

There was an ice cold beer clutched in his hand, half empty already, and a lady to his right that had been trying to engage in a conversation about the weather for the last 15 minutes. None of that really mattered, none of that he really acknowledged.

There was only her. Her dancing and laughing and singing along to the cheesy pop songs he knew she'd never admit to liking but secretly sang along to at home when she thought no one was watching. Her and the way her hair that had been perfectly pinned back earlier was now slowly coming undone, strands framing her perfect face that had changed so much and yet so little in all this time.

Her and her all consuming, breathtaking, heart shattering beauty. Her and all the memories of all the feelings that had ever been there and would always be there.

God, he was so screwed.

This was the "I love you" all over again, the Yale visit, the open house. He had honestly thought he had left this part of his past behind. That he was over her. He had tried over and over and it never ended with a happily ever after for him, not with her. Maybe they just weren't meant to be.

He had really thought he'd learned his lesson and yet here he was staring at her and wondering if he'd ever completely get over her or if he might be doomed to forever be in love with Rory Gilmore.

" You know if you keep staring at her any longer it's gonna change from kinda cute to downright creepy, right ?! " he heard his younger cousin's voice speak up as she plopped down in the seat to his right, the weather lady had apparently gotten the hint that he was not interested in a conversation with her and had wandered off at some point.

" What do you know ? Aren't you busy being edgy, smoking, finding yourself ? " he replied and gave April little smirk and a friendly shove with his shoulder. She was a peculiar one his cousin, had been since the first time he'd met her but she'd done a lot of growing up over the years and had turned from a strange kid into quite the smart and witty adult, pseudo hippy phase and all.

" Haha, aren't you funny, Jess. Seriously though, what's up with the longing looks ? "

" Ah you know, just figuring out that I'm still in love with the girl I dated when I was in high school. The girl that made me change into the person I am today. The girl that is the sole reason I became a better person. " Is what he thought but there was no way in hell Jess would ever talk about his feelings. Ever. " Don't know what you're talking about. "

" Sure you don't. Just sayin' you could go over there and actually talk to her instead of glaring a hole through her head."

That he could do, but what would he say ?

"Hey Rory, sorry to interrupt but I just realized that part of me is still madly in love with you. " ?

" Oh hi there Rory, been watching you all night wondering if we ever stood a chance, wondering if we still might stand one. Wondering if this could ever be us, getting married and all that. " ?

Those were the things that were ghosting through his head but he'd be damned if he ever told those to anyone, especially Rory. He'd tried that before, multiple times, and look how that turned out. To be fair one of those times he ran off, but that was only that one time.

No, there really wasn't anything he could tell her that would change anything about this situation. She had enough on her plate as it was, she was writing a book for god's sake and if anyone knew how stressful and chaotic that time is, it was Jess. The last thing she'd need was him bringing up old feelings and confusion.

" There's nothing to talk about. "

" Okay, James Dean. I know that whole repressing your emotions deal runs in the family and works well with the grumpy mysterious guy image you're trying to maintain but that needs to stop. You're clearly still into this girl and I'm not gonna sit here and watch you throw away what might be your last shot at your epic love story. "

" Oh Jesus when did you start getting so corny. Does Lorelei make you watch 80s romcoms when you're over at their place ? Does Luke know she's doing this to you ? "

" Jess, I'm serious. Sometimes you gotta fight for the things you want. "

For the first time in a while Jess left his gaze drift from Rory and turned towards his cousin.

" I'm 33 years old, April. I'm done fighting over girls, fighting for girls. Things either work out or they don't and they obviously didn't for me and her. "

" But what if you're her Luke ? "

" What if I'm not ? What if I don't want to be ? I don't want her to settle for me after years and years of trying. I want to be a conscious decision. For once in my life I want someone to chose me. Not because of a feeling of guilt or nostalgia or comfort or because they feel like they owe me or because they feel responsible. I'm done with this. I can't do it all over again. "

A silence settled upon them as neither of them really knew where those words had suddenly come from. If there was one thing you didn't except from Jess Mariano it was as sudden outburst of honest emotions.

" Okay. "

" Okay ? "

" Okay, I get it. I didn't mean to push you to do something you don't want to do. I just wanted to help. I want you to be happy. "

" I am happy. "

" Are you ? "

Was he ? Yeah. Sure. Truncheon was going well, he liked his job, liked his coworkers, his friends. He had his own little apartment & his own car. He was in the process of coming up with ideas for a second book. He wasn't particularly phased by the fact that he'd been single for a while now either. Whenever he felt like it Jess had no problem sweet talking a girl at a bar. Girls, he had found out a while ago, were totally into the broody writer persona.

Was he truly happy though ? He didn't know.

" Yeah. "

" Okay. "

" Look, April. You know I'm not big on the whole family reunion stuff, especially here in Stars Hollow where half the population still holds a grudge against me. I came for Luke but he and Lorelei ran off a while ago so there's really no harm in me leaving too, right ? "

It was the truth, Jess wasn't particularly thrilled about returning to the Connecticut town he'd spend some time in as a teenager, but there was no way in hell he could've said no to Luke. The man had done more for him than anyone in his entire life, his mom included. He'd been one of the few who'd believed in him when even Jess himself had almost lost hope that he'd ever amount to something. He owed Luke so much and showing up to his wedding was the least he could do.

" You've been drinking. "

" Last bus is leaving in 20 minutes. "

" To Philly ? That's a long ass drive, Jess. Are you sure you don't wanna crash at the apartment above Luke's and leave tomorrow ? "

" I got a book with me, it'll be fine. No offense April, but if I don't leave now I'm just getting sucked back into things that I should've left behind a long time ago."

" What about your car ? "

" I was thinking, maybe my favorite cousin would like to come visit me in Philadelphia before she goes back home, and maybe she could bring my car with her? " April stared at him for a moment and Jess could see the gears turning in her head, trying to come up with an idea to get him to stay. His mind was made up though, if he'd stay he'd have to get drunk and if there was one place Jess Mariano didn't want be drunk at, it was the town center of Stars Hollow with his ex girlfriend in close proximity.

" Alright " April said and let out a defeated sigh " Be careful and don't talk to any sleazy looking guys. "

" Yeah okay, mom. " Jess replied and took a last sip on his now empty bottle of beer.

As he got up off the chair, Jess' glance wandered back over to Rory. He could go after her, fight for her, show her the man he was today and how this was all for her. He could. But he didn't. Because he was scared ? Maybe. But also because he was just tired. Tired of running after the same girl over and over again. Always failing.

" Just so you know, I don't think you're doing the right thing. Just running from your emotions. " April spoke up. " Well cousin, I don't think you're doing the right thing getting your nose pierced and acting like a pothead when they could probably sell you oregano without you noticing. Yet here I am, accepting your decisions. "

" You're an ass. " April responded as a small smirk tugged at the corners of her lips.

" That's family. Thought you'd be used to that by now. Seriously though, don't worry about me kid. "

" That's family, Jess. We always worry. Thought you'd be used to that by now " She replied with a smile before walking away, back into the sea of Stars Hollow residents that were singing and dancing to some obscure 90s popsong.

This family, his family, was quite honestly a mess. It was a family though, something he hadn't had for the longest time. And no matter how strange or broken over overly intrusive or annoying they were, they meant the world to him. Because they were his people and to them, to Luke and April he was a conscious decision. It was their decision to care and to worry and Sometimes you gotta admit defeat.

With one last look towards Rory, the girl that changed it all, Jess turned his back towards the gazebo covered in dozens of fairy lights and the quirky town that surrounded it and took on the walk towards the bus stop. Maybe April was right and he was just running from his emotions and his crippling fear of rejection. But so what ? Sometimes you gotta let yourself be scared to save yourself from pain.

Sometimes you gotta run.

[jokertrap-ran]

(未定事件簿) EVENT! 「消失的黄金」 [Tears of Themis] EVENT: The Lost Gold Translations (Xia Yan 3-03: Deep within the Cave)

“Who I am doesn’t matter, but if you DARE lie to me again… Heh. Even I wouldn’t mind being the God of the Underworld just this once.”

*Tears of Themis Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *(y/n) is your name when in direct referral; otherwise referred to as MC.

Location: Cave

Xia Yan: Looks like you don’t know where it is either.

The Cave that Dong Hechuan had gone to was just as we had expected it to be, with a dark river flowing through it.

A large amount of Nocturnal Algae floated on the surface of the dark river, it’s faint blue light reflecting throughout the Cave.

Dong Hechuan had already dived to the bottom of the river in an attempt to find the Stolen Goods by the time we had arrived. We waited by the river for him to emerge from it’s depths. Sure enough, he surfaced soon enough, completely confounded.

Dong Hechuan: She told me that this was where it was buried! I can’t believe that she actually lied to me!

MC: Who’s “she”…?

Dong Hechuan: The second leader-in-charge of our regiment, Yang Tiange. She was the one who hid the gold and the only person who knows where it really is.

MC: (We’ve already come this far and he’s still going on about the “gold”; does he still intend to continue lying to us?)

Xia Yan: Didn’t you say that you guessed the location of where it was buried through the riddle? But now, you’re saying that she told you where it was directly?

Dong Hechuan: The riddle was something she made up to fool others, it’s not real.

Dong Hechuan: Earlier, I saw that you guys had found the riddle and wanted you to trust me, so I told you that I had figured it out by cracking the riddle.

Xia Yan: How are you so sure that the burial site that Yang Tiange told you about from the start was real?

Dong Hechuan: ……

He remained silent, as if he didn’t want to answer the question.

Xia Yan: You’re planning to keep things from us again…?

MC: (Xia Yan…)

I had never seen him act so coldly before. He had always been warm in my eyes. Even when he got angry on occasion, he was like burning fire, not as searingly cold as a block of ice.

Dong Hechuan seemed to have noticed Xia Yan’s sudden change in demeanor, flinching involuntarily.

Dong Hechuan: Yang…Tiange, she…she was my lover…

Xia Yan: Lover?

Xia Yan: Everyone in that Robbery Gang of yours were part of the brotherhood that lived and died for the sake of money, even till the very end. 

Xia Yan: How could you be so sure that your “lover” wasn’t just lying to your face?

Dong Hechuan: There’s no way she would. She only hid that gold to save a sum of money to marry me once we got ashore.

Dong Hechuan: If it wasn’t for her doing that, us of the Gold Lions would never have turned out the way we did. And they say that it’s always the women who stir up trouble at the end of the day.

MC: So you think that everything’s her fault?

Dong Hechuan’s bastardly remark made my blood boil.

MC: She hid the gold just so that she could live a good life together with you, yet you say she was nothing but a brewing disaster…?

MC: She must have been blind to love someone like you!

MC: Looks like you never even thought of saving her when she died alongside the others in the internal scuffle now, did you!?

Dong Hechuan: I was just a grunt back then! It was hard enough fending for myself, so how would I save her, the second-in-command?

Dong Hechuan: Plus she wanted me to live, even if she died in the process; to live and see the next day.

Dong Hechuan: I only alerted the Police after that because I wanted to uphold her wishes.

MC: Don’t you think you’re contradicting yourself? You called the police because you didn’t want to let her down, but yet, you still deliberately concealed the whereabouts of the gold from the Police.

MC: You’re still lusting after the money at the end of the day. Are you still clinging onto the dream of becoming a rich man even after finishing your sentence!?

Dong Hechuan: But I couldn’t find the gold either.

Dong Hechuan: I don’t understand why she lied to me about it either. What’s the point of concealing the location of the gold if you’re already on death’s door!?

Dong Hechuan: Now that you know that I can’t find the gold either, so how about letting me go?

Xia Yan: Let you go? Impossible.

Xia Yan: You’ve also got a Murder Case hanging over your head, in addition to the Lost Gold.

Dong Hechuan: What murder? I was trying to throw you off my trail from the time I landed on the Island till now while looking for the gold! I didn’t kill anyone!

Xia Yan: Of course you won’t have the chance to commit a crime today, but what about back then?

Just now, Zuo Ran had sent a message into the Encrypted Channel, saying that he had found evidence that Dong Hechuan had murdered Lin Dahai’s father.

Dong Hechuan: I didn’t kill anyone in our Group back then…

Xia Yan: Didn’t you once confess to Lin Dahai persona-?

Before Xia Yan could even finish speaking, Dong Hechuan’s cell phone rang.

Xia Yan: Pick it up, but put it on speaker. Think carefully about what you say.

He unsheathed a three-sided dagger from his waist and held it to Dong Hechuan’s neck.

Dong Hechuan: !!!

Dong Hechuan grabbed his phone in a panic and nearly hung up the call with how much his hands were shaking.

???: Where are you, Dong Hechuan? Hurry and come to The Temple of the Underworld on the western Mountains and help get rid of this pebble in my path!

He swallowed a mouthful of nervous saliva and gave Xia Yan a cautionary glance.  Xia Yan didn’t say anything, only touching the tip of his blade to the artery on his neck.

Dong Hechuan: I’m going to get the mask soon, so wait for a while and I’ll go over once I have it.

MC: (Mask?)

Dong Hechuan: No! Come here at once! Quickly; it’s almost dawn!

Dong Hechuan: But I’m pretty far away from where you are. It’ll be light by the time I get over there.

Dong Hechuan: Plus there are also other people who has their eyes set on this mask, aren’t you afraid of it falling into the hands of another, were I to go over?

Tian Yu: Let me tell you this Dong Hechuan; both the spell and the artifacts are indispensable if we are to hold the Ceremony of Immortality.

Tian Yu: The whereabouts of Nosta’s Scepter of the Underworld has long since been lost, and the golden mask you hold right now can barely make the cut.

Tian Yu: Name your price; anything. I’ll add on as much money as you want, so long as you obtain the mask.

Tian Yu: But if the mask were to fall into the hands of another…

Tian Yu: Heh, that absolutely twisted notebook of yours that denotes your horrible depraved hobbies will end up on the desks of the Police!

The line cut immediately after.

Dong Hechuan: Hey! Tian Yu, you— …urk…

A trail of bright red trickled down from his neck.

Xia Yan: Haha, you dare hint at him to come save you? Pity, but he seems rather preoccupied on his own end.

Dong Hechuan: ……

Xia Yan: Right, didn’t you just say that there was no evidence that you killed someone?

Xia Yan: I suppose we have it now, don’t we?  It’s that diary notebook, isn’t it?

Dong Hechuan: Just who the hell are you!?

Xia Yan pressed the tip of the blade to his neck once more.

It looked like he had glanced over at me for a moment, as he leaned closer to Dong Hechuan. The look on his eyes brought out a feeling of sadness and hurt within me.

It was at this moment, that I finally realized what he was unable to say before.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Xia Yan: Sorry, I left you alone in the woods for so long.

MC: It wasn’t that long. I know that your mission must absolutely be kept a secret, so of course I’ll stay away.

Xia Yan: No, that’s not…that’s not exactly it, I…

MC: Huh?

Xia Yan: Forget it. Even if I did tell you, you’d only blame me for my overprotectiveness. Xia Yan: Anyway, I’ll always be how you like me to be in front you. Yes, that should be how it is.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

What he had truly wanted me to avoid witnessing was not the details of his secret mission, but him, as he was right now.

Xia Yan: No more of your trickery, Dong Hechuan.

Xia Yan: Who I am doesn’t matter, but if you DARE lie to me again…

Xia Yan: Heh. Even I wouldn’t mind being the God of the Underworld just this once.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Previous Part: (Xia Yan 3-02: Mountain Plains) | Next Part: (Xia Yan 3-04: Mountain Plains)

[our-heroes-rise]

Hi there!!! First time requesting... I'll use this chance to request a Midoriya x reader story where reader is small breasted, tall, thin, shy at the beginning, cheerful when they're comfortable, nerd, gamer, wears glasses, brunette and olive skinned. I'll leave the plot on your capable hands, I just want a happy ending, please!!! Izuku and reader ending up together!!! Thank you so much!!!

i think i had a bit too much fun writing this, haha. i deeply apologize for the ridiculously long wait though, hun, and i hope you enjoy what i’ve written for you. i rewrote this three times then finally got something i was happy with on the third try. think i’ll try to incorporate the “realistic” messages more often, they’re sure fun to make. anyway, hope you like it!

———————————————————————

Your fingers thrummed anxiously against the hardwood table as you stared blankly at the textbook before you, not at all taking in the very much helpful information it provided for figuring out the problem you had been stuck on for the past ten minutes. It wasn’t entirely your fault that you couldn’t bring yourself to focus though.

Ten minutes. They were all ten minutes late.

It wasn’t normal for all of them to be late. Momo was always on time -- always early, in fact. She never allowed herself to be less than five minutes early. Which was why you were extremely surprised when you entered the small coffee shop to find your friend’s usual table vacant of the beautiful high black ponytail.

There were no new messages in the group chat, you had already checked about a million times since you had arrived.

Nothing to let you know that anyone would be running late, or had canceled plans. It was so unlike Momo -- so unlike everyone, honestly. And it made you nervous.

Had something happened to them? Did a message not get through to you or something? What if they had all said that they couldn’t make it and he showed up expecting everyone to be here but all he found was you sitting at a table by yourself? Oh God, that would make it look like you lied to him. Would he be mad and want to leave? Why would he want to stay? He had probably only said he would come because he didn’t want you to feel bad if he rejected your offer.

That didn’t make sense anyway, he was in the group chat so even if you didn’t get the message that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Why would he even bother coming then?

Dear Lord, you wished your brain would shut up.

Two years. Two whole stupid years you have had a crush on him and never once had you tried to “shoot your shot”, as Mina would put it. You would face a hundred villains and All Might himself before you decided to muster up the courage to shoot your dumb friggin shot and face the possible embarrassment of rejection. It had taken you months to actually stand there like a big girl and have a decent conversation with him without stumbling over your words and averting your eyes away from him every two seconds. Then even longer to just ask him to hang out with you.

But not alone. God, no, not alone. You had to have other people there or else it would be too intimate, at least with other people you could have other things to distract yourself with if things got awkward. Keeping up a conversation with people you liked or weren’t extremely familiar with wasn’t exactly your forte. Your brain always seemed to draw a blank, which made normal human interaction a pain.

If you got stuck alone here with him you weren’t sure that you could forgive your friends for ditching, unless something really serious had happened. Geez, how would you even focus on your work? The study session hadn’t entirely been a ploy made up by your friends and yourself just to get to spend time with your crush. You had actually planned to study for the upcoming math test. You weren’t exactly terrible at math. Usually, you didn’t have much of a problem with it, but this unit had been utter hell, to put it bluntly. If someone is trying to become a hero, why do they need to know how to calculate the length and space between a curve on a graph? Really, what was the point?

A shrill ping echoed through your headphones, interrupting your blaring music and causing you to flinch slightly out of your thoughts.

Your eyes narrowed as they trailed further and further down the paragraph, suspicion settling into the pit of your stomach. All three of your most family-oriented friends forgot they had previous arrangements with their families? Doubtful. Mina getting food poisoning sounded about right, she sat with Sero and Kaminari during lunch sometimes, who are always daring her to eat disgusting food combinations. Jirou offering to help take care of said sick Mina? Absolutely not. Jirou can not stand to be around sick people, it grosses her out. She would rather spend ten minutes flirting with Bakugou than smell another person’s food-poison vomit.

If they had wanted to lie they should have tried a little harder to make it believable.

You weren’t going to call them out on it, though. Not once the realization dawned on you that your friends had, in undeniable fact now, left you all alone with your crush. And on purpose.

Why do they hate me?!

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, at a loss for what to say, until you saw his message slide through the chat.

Your heart lurched into your throat at his question. Now was your chance to ditch, to reschedule the plans for another time, and you were already typing up your excuse when another message pinged through your headphones.

This was completely unfair. They had all promised to be here with you and now they were all dropping out on you at the last second like they had planned this all along. Which, honestly, is probably what they had done.

You let out a heavy sigh, slumping further down into your seat, textbook and notes completely forgotten.

Truly, you knew your friends meant well in all of this, you just wished they had chosen a better way to go about it.

But, there really isn’t a better way, is there?

You certainly weren’t going to make the first move and Midoriya probably wasn’t either - if he even liked you that way. Despite the great amount of confidence he had gained over the past few years, mostly regarding his fighting style and the way he spoke to Bakugou, he could still be easily flustered, even if it wasn’t as common as before. So, no, you supposed there definitely wasn’t a better way your friends could have pulled this off.

Another heavily anxious sigh pushed past your lips as you fixed your slouching posture and reopened the group chat.

You let your fingers loom over the keyboard, once again, seriously contemplating your original idea to take a raincheck. Midoriya wouldn’t be upset with you, he would be completely understanding, especially if your excuse was good enough. Period cramps were a thing, ya know? Sometimes they caught you off guard and maybe you just didn’t -

Oh, for Christ’s sake, screw it.

That wasn’t too bad.

No, it was perfectly fine and he would be here in a few minutes.

He would be here in a few minutes.

Oh, for the love of All Might, he would be here, with you, alone, in a few God forsakenly short minutes and you had not a clue in the whole stupid world how this was going to go. You were panicking, a sort of pathetic amount, if you were going to be honest with yourself.

This was just Midoriya.

Midoriya, the cute nerdy kid who was the absolute sweetest person you had ever met in your entire life. The I Can And Absolutely Will Give My Life To Protect Everyone I Know And Love, Midoriya. The Midoriya who could shatter ten brick walls with less than a fifth of his power and still have enough to fend off three hundred more waiting villains.

Midoriya, the kindest, most gentle, and fiery soul you had ever known. The soul you had so stupidly allowed yourself to fall in love with these past few years.

Love.

That was a strong word, but something about it felt right when you applied it to your feelings for the gentle green-haired boy, which was a little terrifying, considering that most of his perspective of you was largely unknown. It was probably just your overly hormonal teenage brain trying to convince you that this emotion could only be found in the green eyes of the one and only class nerd. That didn’t matter anymore though. You knew you had already let yourself fall too far from the cliff edge to have any hope of saving yourself now.

Screw it, you repeated to yourself, tossing your phone back onto the table to resume staring blankly at your textbook, your brows only slightly more furrowed than before.

You had already started digging this grave two years ago, fully aware of the consequences, might as well finish it up and lay in it, nothing worse could come of it. Except, maybe, being buried alive and suffocating under the weight of your own regret.

It’ll be fine. It’s just Izuku. My friend. My friend... that I’ve had a crush on for -

It was a long - but still too short - couple of minutes.

Midoriya arrived at the cafe ten minutes later looking surprisingly out of breath. The freckled bridge of his nose and cheeks were a bright rosy red, bitten from the crisp winter evening air. He slumped into the chair across from you, flashing you the brightest smile you had ever seen while he set his bag down beside him.

“Sorry, I’m late,” He said, voice garbled through the noise of your headphones, which you immediately yanked out. “I was talking to Kirishima and completely lost track of time. I’m glad you waited for me though.”

“O-Oh, it’s okay,” you stammered, doing your best to return his smile just as confidently, though you were sure anyone could see how terribly flustered you already were. “I really hadn’t been waiting that long, I’m just happy you were able to come.” His breathing still sounded slightly labored as he pulled out his notebook and Algebra textbook, your brow quirked up in curiosity. “Izuku, did you run all the way here or something?”

A flush that you know has nothing to do with with the cold flares up his entire face to the tips of his ears, and his green eyes flicker sheepishly towards yours. “Uhm - Well, yeah, I felt bad for keeping you waiting for so long. Don’t worry, it was just a couple of blocks, I’m okay.” A small breathless laugh bubbled past his lips, “I’m thankful for Aizawa’s endurance training though.”

“Yeah,” you laughed with him, too aware of the heat you felt crawling up your neck. He had actually ran all the way from the dorms to the coffee shop just for you, because he felt guilty for keeping you waiting, even if it had only been a couple of minutes.

It was silly for you to dwell on such a thing, honestly. Midoriya really was just that type of person, it wouldn’t be considered a big deal to anyone else, but to you it meant the world. And you couldn’t do anything to tame the butterflies in your stomach when you pictured him, face scrunched with slight panic and focus as he rushed through the evening crowds all the way here, just to get to you quicker.

“I know it’s a bit late and all,” Midoriya mumbled, bringing you back into reality with a small jolt that, thankfully, went completely unnoticed by him as he still had his face in his bag. “But did you want anything from the cafe? I brought some money with me.”

“No, I’m okay, thank you though.” You were wide awake right now, caffeine wouldn’t do anything but make your nerves worse.

A small frown tugged at the corner of his mouth once he came back up from his bag, beaten up All Might wallet in hand. It was a challenge not to crack a smile in its direction. “You sure? I really don’t mind getting you something. I feel like I should pay you back for waiting for me.”

You rolled your eyes picking up a playful smile so he knew you weren’t actually irritated with him. “I told you, it’s fine, Izuku. You didn’t keep me waiting long, I promise.” You waved a hand in the direction of the cafe bar, “If you want to get something, go ahead, I don’t mind waiting a few more minutes.”

Midoriya paused for a moment, casting his gaze off to the side for a second before he shook his head. Seemingly having made a decision he tucked his wallet back into his backpack and gave you a warm grin. “I’m fine, I was really just asking for you, but I’m glad you’re not upset. You’re really too sweet, Y/n. Anyway, was there anything you wanted to go over first? Ochaco said you were struggling with-”

But your mind had started buzzing the second his compliment had reached your ears. A part of your brain was screaming at yourself to get a grip and the other part of you just really, really wanted to hear him say it again with that same heart-melting smile of his.

“Yeah,” you said absently, unaware as to what you were actually agreeing to. You knew the smile you were giving him must have made you look like a lovesick puppy ready to barf rainbows, yet you didn’t have enough properly operating brain cells to make you care. “We can start with that first.”

“Okay, that’s great! I have some notes you can look over if you want, or I can explain it if you’d like. I was also having trouble with this, but Iida was able to explain it to me in a way that actually makes sense, so I can try to explain it the same way. Is that alright?”

It took all of your focus to make yourself look down at the notebook he was holding out for you and actually process the words written on the paper. Then another few seconds for you to realize that you had no clue what in the hell the notes were talking about. Yeah, you definitely couldn’t zone out anymore or else you would be utterly screwed by the time the test came around.

“Uh, explain it, please?” you mumbled, casting a quick shy glance in his direction. “If you don’t mind.”

He chuckled and the sound made the heat in your cheeks grow a little hotter. “Not at all. So, the way Tenya explained it was like this...”

It was quite a feat to keep your brain focused on the task at hand rather than on the way Midoriya’s hand would brush against yours every once in a while when he was showing you how to solve a problem. Or the way his nose crinkled when he thought something you did was funny, but clearly didn’t want to laugh at for your sake. Or the way he had asked if he could sit next to you instead of across from you because it would be a lot easier for him to show you what he was doing. And the way his warm shoulder - covered in a large grey hoodie that had no right looking that good on him - pressed gently into yours.

It had been a difficult battle, but you had won. By the end of the night, you were caught up on everything you hadn’t understood in Algebra a couple hours prior. Midoriya grinned proudly down at your practice problems, unable to find a single mistake this time.

“You’re a really quick learner, Y/n,” he laughed, tilting his head to look back at you, his green eyes sparkling. “Are you sure you needed my help in the first place?”

You flushed, letting out a small giggle. “Oh, definitely,” you responded softly from behind the hand you had brought up to cover your mouth. “I didn’t know what the heck I was doing until you got here. It all just looked like a bunch of-”

“You shouldn’t hide your smile like that. It’s too beautiful to keep hidden.”

“H-Huh?” Oh, your face was totally on fire now.

Had you heard him correctly?

“I-I mean - U-Uhm - I’m really sorry!” Midoriya stammered, his hands immediately flying up into the air as if he didn’t know where to put them anymore as he quickly shuffled away from you on the booth. “That was really weird of me to say, sorry. I just - well, uhm - just -” he moved his text book over towards him and stared intensely at it, obviously intent on not making anymore eye contact with you.

Which was the absolute last thing you wanted right now, but you were still trying to wrap your head around everything that had just happened. That wasn’t the usual Midoriya compliment. He didn’t tell all of his friends how beautiful he thought there smiles were. It didn’t even seem like he had meant to say it in the first place, he was so flustered now.

“Was there - uhm - anything else you wanted to go over? I’m pretty much caught up on everything, so it’s - it’s whatever you want to do.”

Well, that definitely caught your attention. “You’re caught up on everything?” You asked slowly, brain still buffering severely. Midoriya nodded, green curls bouncing with the jerky movement. He didn’t look at you though. “Izuku, did you rush all the way out here just to help me?”

Again, not a thing Midoriya wouldn’t naturally do on his own, but the way he was reacting was a clear sign that this wasn’t just because of that fantastically kind heart of his. Warm hope, that you didn’t have the willpower to crush, bloomed large and all consuming within your chest.

He nodded once again, but this time you caught the apprehensive glance he shot at you from the corner of his eye. “Y-Yeah.” You noticed how prominent his freckles looked against the firey color of his cheeks, and it made your heart flutter. Midoriya let out a heavy sigh before finally looking back towards you, textbook forgotten. “Ochaco said it was a good idea for us to hang out together because - well - I - she knows that I - that I’ve liked you for a while.” The last part was barely loud enough for you to hear over the night time rush of the cafe, but your ears had most definitely not failed you that time.

“M-Me?”

Yes, you idiot! Who else would he be talking about?

Ochaco had known about it. Your best friend had known about it and hadn’t told you? Had let you keep your feelings for him buried deep within your heart for all of that time.

You couldn’t blame her, no matter how terribly you wanted to. You knew Ochaco did it with the best intentions. Ochaco wasn’t one to go around spilling everyone’s secrets. She had probably kept hope that Midoriya - or maybe you, even though the chances of that were slim to none - would finally admit to one another. That made this grand scheme of hers her way of telling you and Midoriya that even she had gotten tired of waiting for you two.

“Yeah, I told her this was a bad idea and that you probably didn’t feel the same way, but she insisted,” he added quickly, hands gone back to moving around the air awkwardly. “I’m really sorry that I’ve made this really weird now, I - I can leave if you want.”

Without thinking - just as you had been through out the course of this entire conversation - your hand shot out to wrap around one of his to keep him in place, even though he had made no indication of getting up.

“No!” You winced at your sudden volume, face burning again. “No, you can stay. Trust me, you haven’t made it weird, I’m just - uhh - trying to, I guess, process everything. Give me a second, please?”

Midoriya looked visibly stunned, but nodded his quick jerky nod nonetheless, bouncing his green curls again. Your brain ran through everything he had just said over and over until you were absolutely positive you hadn’t imagined any of it. Until you were absolutely positive that the boy you had so stupidly allowed yourself to fall for had just admitted having feelings for you. It wasn’t a trick of your mind from lack of sleep or too many hours of work, Midoriya had really just said all of that. That he thought your smile was too beautiful to hide, that he had ran all this way not because he needed to study but because he wanted to make sure you didn’t need his help, that he liked you. But not just liked you, he had liked you for a while.

A while. How long was that?

Probably not as long as you, but the answer didn’t matter. You were sure that he could have told you it was for the past couple of hours and you would still be just as happy.

A gentle squeeze around your hand from calloused fingers pulled you back to Earth, and you looked down to find that his hand - only slightly bigger than yours - was still wrapped up tightly in your own as if you were too scared to let go of him, scared he would disappear like the remnants of a dream.

“A-are you sure I didn’t make it weird?”

You laughed breathlessly, a bright grin lighting up your face as you lifted your eyes to meet his. His shoulders had relaxed a tiny bit, but his emerald eyes were still swimming with anxiety, even when you shook your head no.

“I’m - I’m sure, Izuku. I promise you didn’t make it weird.” You glanced down to pull his hand into your lap as you shifted in your seat to face him properly. Truthfully, you should have let go of his hand a while ago, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it yet. At least, he didn’t seem to mind. “I just - I dunno - I guess, I thought I would never be able to hear you say those words and I’m still having a hard time believing that you’ve even said them-”

“I said them!” He jumped in, the anxiety replaced by overwhelming joy. “That was all real, trust me, my heart is still pounding from the anxiety.” He let out a shaky laugh to which you joined him in. “I wasn’t at all sure how tonight was going to go. All Ochaco had told me was that I should trust her and that everything would be fine and, honestly, I didn’t know whether to believe her or not. But then when I got here and I saw you I knew there was no way I could keep this from you anymore. I had planned to tell you on the way home, except, well, I guess spending all of this time alone with you was enough to push me over the edge.”

You grinned and softly breathed, “I’m glad.”

——

There hadn’t been many people left out on the streets, this part of town never really got busy after dark because there were no bars or clubs. Only small shops and businesses that closed no later than ten lined this city block and every city block within a five mile radius of U.A. The frosty night air nawed at the warmth from your cheeks, washing them with a deep shade of scarlet. You curled into the warmth of your thick wooly sweater, thankful that you had thought to put it back on before leaving the cafe.

One of your hands took refuge in your cozy double sleeve so that it was no more than a nub of thick cloth, while the other, wound frigid fingers through the tender warmth his hand provided. A small, content smile adorned your face as you walked closely together, shoulders brushing with each step, to conserve the heat between you two.

Midoriya was beaming. He hadn’t stopped since he had left the cafe with his hand in yours, heart singing in delight at the sensation of your fingers slotted perfectly through his, like the missing pieces of a puzzle. His joy and excitement was so clearly bubbling past the brim of his self-control, you were sure that if he could smile any brighter that he would, just to show how proud he was to be holding your hand.

Neither of you said anything on your walk back to the dorms. You didn’t have to and neither did he, even if his posture said that he could barely contain himself. Midoriya could speak if he wanted, knew that without a shadow of a doubt, but he chose not to. He chose to walk with you, hand intertwined with yours, on a blissfully quiet trip back to the dorms, basking in your presence. Just as you did so happily with him.

Minutes pass much too quickly though, and it seems like you’re upon the entrance steps of the dorms only seconds later. He pauses and you stop with him, turning to face him, eager for the buildings heat, but more eager to understand the hesitation that flickers in his gaze. Another moment of silence passed before he turned to you, freckled cheeks flushed a bright red that once more has to do with far more than just the cold.

You wait patiently, eyes soft and mouth still pulled into a gentle smile that wordlessly urges him to speak his mind. He takes you in for one last moment, his beaming grin grown slightly muted as he searches for the confidence he needs, which he quickly finds resting in your own gaze.

“I - uhm - I just wanted to thank you,” he started quietly, “for making tonight so amazing. I really can’t tell you how happy it made me.”

Oh, you were going to swoon, truly.

This boy...

After all that he had done for you tonight, he still wanted to thank you. To thank you. When all you had done was show up and bottle up your feelings for the past two years. You didn’t deserve him and you weren’t sure if the universe had already realized its mistake, but there was no way in hell you were going to give him back now.

“Izuku,” you sighed, your smile lifting fondly at the edges, “I should be the one thanking you here. You went through all of this trouble today just to help me out and if it weren’t for you I would still be sitting there with that stupid text book and my harbored feelings not knowing what the heck I was supposed to do. So, thank you for all that you did for me tonight and making it one I will forever remember.”

His mouth fell open in a look of awe and soft adoration, then within one swift step forward, he swooped down and gently pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was short and sweet, a fleeting brush of his lips, but it was enough to warm your entire body in a flood of overwhelming heat.

Midoriya pulled away, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, likely matching your own, and gaze slightly chagrined. “S-Sorry, I should have asked.”

You beamed, shaking your head vigorously as you moved to wrap your arms around his neck, bringing your forehead to rest against his, “Stop apologizing for silly things and kiss me again.”

“S-Sor - I mean - wait, really?”

You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling at the genuine surprise in his eyes, it was adorable. “Yes, Izuku, yes, kiss me again.”

And so he did. With a grin that reflected your own, he pressed his lips against yours once more, this time more firmly than the first, and brought his hands to your hips to pull you closer.

The night wasn’t so cold anymore. He warmed your heart, your chest, your body, your soul. Everything you could ever ask for, he was a brilliant pillar of light that radiated comforting heat and he was all yours. Your own personal ray of sunshine that you would hold on to for as long as you could.

———————————————————————

✨ written 10/9/19 ✨

[smallblanketfort]

how do i cope with the fact that i'll never become something? how do i deal with the fact that i'll never be the protagonist? how do i handle the idea that all those worlds, all those fantasies that live so vividly in my head that i've read and watched and seen and created are all just fiction? how do i live knowing i'll never be really be able to fight for people? how do i live knowing this world isn't fictional enough for me to be able to save people? how do i live knowing i'm nothing?

did i write this to myself? did i disassociate and write with my unconscious? haha.

okay listen here’s the thing, you are the protagonist of your story, and accepting that is important. take control of your life. do what makes you happy and content. for me, this means working and writing and editing a lot, in addition to yoga and such. this often means sacrificing some relationships, because i have these priorities in my career. it makes me happy and keeps me more at peace. 

learning patience and courage also has helped. somehow, i have made my favorite, best friends in really random places. so don’t lost that hope, okay? friends come and go… so often, but you’ll always have new friends at some point sometime. when you get them, make it happen. you mention you won’t fight for people and this is the most me thing i have ever read ever. all i have to say is a) accept this. it’s fine. make friends with yourself. and b) fight it, when you feel as though you should. or shouldn’t. whatever. it’s okay to fight for people. fight your inclinations sometimes, and fight for people even when you don’t feel like it. it’ll make you grow and understand yourself. not to be that person, but you can always disappear later if you realize you shouldn’t have. whatever.

along with all of this, i might suggest starting to keep a journal, with a notebook and a pen. actually, i totally suggest it. write out your thoughts, your ideas, your dreams. it’ll help you understand yourself, and what you want out of the world. it’ll help you think of ways to get there. dream. plan. pursue. 

also, accepting that you daydream can help. just being okay with this part of you. but i think it’s important to acknowledge that they are dreams, stories. control them, and trying to find some satisfaction in that world is okay. maybe. i’m sure ppl will fight me on this and say how unhealthy it is, but if u set boundaries and keep breathing and keep your eyes open to the world around you it’s fine. it can fulfill you where you are unfulfilled elsewhere. 

finally, embrace that you don’t feel like the protagonist. try shifting your mindset to seeing how much you can help and embrace others. try opening yourself up to doing things for others, and cheerfully so. pls know i don’t mean “become a doormat.” hell no. but get an internship/volunteer/job/get! involved! in activism! educate yourself in politics and start working on it. read nonfiction. watch youtube. write something. 

postscript. your wording. that first sentence, “i’ll never become something.” babe, idk how old you are, but there is absolutely no way you can see the future. if you have the future, pls let me know how it is and what i’m up to. you will become something. you will become something in some capacity. there’s absolutely no reason why not. just have the tiniest seed of doubt in the hopeless future, because i swear to god you have no idea what’s coming. it won’t be all good. sometimes it’ll be complete and total shit, but good you can’t imagine will come, sometimes out of the shit. promise. you’ll get there. you’re real and valid. stay here to see. also your wording on saving people. you can’t save people. you can help them save themselves. but i would examine your motives here… if you have a hero complex, go adopt some dogs. otherwise, making other people your kitchen sink is incredibly dangerous, bc people are fickle and fragile. don’t depend on others for this. hnestly, if you’re a kind, thoughtful, loving person, you will probably play a part in someone being saved. you might not be aware, but you will. make it your goal to be a peaceful, safe person. be there.

this sounds really silly, but try not to dwell on what you dont have. seriously just. do not. it’ll devour you. i can physically feel it burning in my stomach. gotta love my pet ulcer. instead, find tiny cheap ways to make yourself happy. for me, it’s buying kombucha and vegan chocolate cookies on friday. cute bras. good words. keeping journals. even just making a playlist and walking around a city and park. get a camera!! do little things. love them. 

honestly, be thankful the world isn’t fictionalized. my life sounds like a fucking soap opera, and it’s not at all a good thing. books are awful thats why we read them. idk man embrace now, work for the future, appreciate what you have, even if it’s the light in trees and your favorite sweater. idk this is hella fucking long and perhaps useless sorry

[askapentecostal]

I have seeked God about it and pray about it everyday, every Sunday, multiple times a day. But it makes me feel kind of bad that someone I know could think that I'm demon possessed because I struggle with this. Not trying to debate or anything, in the nicest way possible I'm just asking that you explain. Thank you :)

I'm not offended. Controversy is to be expected when you discuss religion, politics, etc. :) But I do think you misunderstood me. I didn't say that when you become depressed you are possessed or anything along those lines. Depression is the first stage of possession. A person could be depressed for years before every reaching the stage of oppression which could also last year's before reaching the last stage of obsession which can last forever and a person still never become possessed by a demon. So please don't think just because you suffer from depression that you're bound to be possessed or that you are possessed. I don't think that anyone near to you would ever assume that nor do I. :) Depression, Oppression, and obsession are the stages that come before possession. In that order and each with a certain period of time between the other. The Bible gives us steps to conquer depression on multiple occasions. We just have to apply them. Fighting depression takes hard work. Anything worth fighting for is hard work and Victory is worth working hard for. Here are steps that may help if you apply them.1. Pray - I know that you said that you already pray but never give up on prayer. Prayer works. You have to have a communication with God. It'll carry you through.2. Keep in touch with your pastor, especially since you say yours is educated with a degree in psychology. 3. Count your blessings. We often focus on the bad and forget entirely about the good things. It would be very good for you to take a notebook and write down all the things you're thankful for. Do it with a friend and read each other's perhaps. 4. Get invloved. Be apart of other people. People can distract us. When we get alone and to our own thoughts we often sink into dark places. It will help to stay busy. Work. Get a hobby. Hangout with friends. Get a puppy lol you can't be sad with a puppy licking your face lol its impossible xD find something that you're good at and showcase it. I'm not saying be boastful or vain BUT compliments on something that you're good at will help you. It feels good to be complimented and praised on something you work hard on.Philippians 4:8 KJVSFinally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.The Bible says to seek thoroughly for ANYTHING that is positive and focus on THAT. "If there be ANY..." It's easy to be happy when there is plenty but when you have to dig for "any" It gets harder.Also remember that God is watching. He is omnipresent. He is literally in the room you're in while you read this. He watches your expression to it, he reads your thoughts on it, he pays attention to every single detail that makes you you. He wants happiness for you. He really have provided the tools and you have access to them. He wants you to see them. Maybe this answer will be the very thing you read that opens up that tool box for you. Deuteronomy 31:8 KJVSAnd the Lord , he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.You have power over your life. Right now you can do ANYTHING that you want to do. (I know this is a long answer but try to stay with me haha)Let me tell you a personal story: I once worked the graveyard shift at a gas station when I was younger. A Jewish man came in the store and I asked him where he was from. Of course he said "Jerusalem." I was impressed. I told him, "I've always wanted to go." And he asked me, "Then why haven't you?" And I told him, "I don't have the money or a way." He shook his head and told me, "You don't need money to go to Jerusalem and you already have a way." I looked at him puzzled. He went on, "When I was a boy, no older than you, I walked across the country to the United States east coast and I offered my services as a worker on a ship if they would carry me to the east. I worked on the boat and I arrived in my home land. You don't need money. If you want to go to Jerusalem than you will go to Jerusalem. Young man... go." I took that advice to heart. Tonight as I write this, I think back and I'm almost convinced he may have been an angel. I have never been to Jerusalem. That wasn't really what I got from the conversation. The point of this story is that if you want something bad enough you WILL get it... actually you won't "get" it... you will TAKE it. "I went to the enemies camp and I took back what he stole from me and now he's under my feet. Satan is under my feet." If you want something the bible says to attain it:Hebrews 4:16 KJVSLet us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.It's hard to get a grasp on the type of control you need in order to conquer depression. Here is my testimony:I once suffered from depression. I was suffering a problem in my relationship amongst a collaboration of other things that had me down. I had suicidal thoughts and I wasn't even a sinner. I was living for God with everything I knew to. I was in every church service. No amount of advice really helped me even though I clung to it out of desperation. One night in particular I was having what I would consider the worst night of my life. The story of Job came to mind and like Job I cursed the day I was born. As the person I loved the most drove away I fell to my knees, my 9mm in my hand, I was crying against the door, and I was conjuring every bit of notion that God understood that I was going through too much for me to handle and that if I pulled the trigger that he would have mercy on me and carry me to Heaven... but then God brought this scripture to mind 1 Corinthians 10:13 KJVSThere hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.And I asked God if I can live through this than what do I do right now? And a song came to mind. It was the first song that I sang for church and it's always been very special to me but I never had to use it until that night. Lyrics:"I was sure by now, God you would have reached downAnd wiped our tears away,Stepped in and saved the day.But once again, I say amenThat it's still rainingAs the thunder rollsI barely hear your whisper through the rainI'm with youAnd as your mercy fallsI raise my hands and praiseThe God who gives and takes awayAnd I'll praise you in this stormAnd I will lift my handsThat you are who you areNo matter where I amAnd every tear I've criedYou hold in your handYou never left my sideAnd though my heart is tornI will praise you in this stormI remember when I stumbled in the windYou heard my cry you raised me up againMy strength is almost gone how can I carry onIf I can't find youAs the thunder rollsI barely hear you whisper through the rainI'm with youAnd as your mercy fallsI raise my hands and praiseThe God who gives and takes awayAnd I'll praise you in this stormAnd I will lift my handsThat you are who you areNo matter where I amAnd every tear I've criedYou hold in your handYou never left my sideAnd though my heart is tornI will praise you in this stormI lift my eyes unto the hillsWhere does my help come from?My help comes from the LordThe maker of heaven and earthI lift my eyes unto the hillsWhere does my help come from?My help comes from the LordThe maker of heaven and earthAnd I'll praise you in this stormAnd I will lift my handsThat you are who you areNo matter where I amAnd every tear I've criedYou hold in your handYou never left my sideAnd though my heart is tornI will praise you in this stormAnd though my heart is tornI will praise you in this storm"So in my weakest moment, when I was closest to death, when I had literally NOTHING left to give God asked me praise Him through. I have to be honest my very first thought was "How selfish of God." And I really began to break down as I forced myself to raise my hands to God. I began to wave them with tears on my face. I slowly got to where I could stand up. I began to worship and praise God. I found that the more I praised Him the smaller my problems became. I realized I was depressed which is equivalent to me feeling sorry for myself. My priorities were wrong. God was supposed to come first. My problems don't mean anything when I stood back and looked at the big picture. I weighed it all out and I realized I refuse to be held down by such mediocre problems. A person on their death bed does worry about their problems. They worry about their destination. Don't sweat the small stuff and when you look at the big picture it's all small stuff. Message me your name and I'll lift it up in prayer. God bless you. -Caleb (Your new friend)

[the-innocent-papyrus]

ENTRY NUMBER 4.4

((Lazy and Orion sit down to translate some of G’s old notes, and get briefly sidetracked by a displaced king complaining about his temporary accommodations.))

((Muses involved:

Orion, from here

Lazy, @sans-nyan))

lazy

[knockknock......  he's Here.]

Orion

*come on in, z.

lazy

[in he slides... he's brought a Pencil. and many papers from his own gaster. actually, he has a lot of pencils.] hey, 'rion. i wasn't sure what all to bring, so... i figured it was better to be safe than sorry. i'm a little rusty on this, so...

Orion

*it's cool.

[Orion is sitting on his bed, surrounded by a pile of papers. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to the arrangement at first glance. Upon closer inspection... yeah there really isn't much of an organizational system apart from maybe original notes on this side, translations on that side.]

lazy

[HE UNDERSTANDS. he approaches, studying the papers that are all about for a few seconds before he climbs up onto the bed, sitting on the edge of it.]

what've you got so far? i've mostly brought my own notes as some comparison stuff, just, y'know.  make sure they write sort of similarly.

Orion

*well, mostly it's been stuff about the core so far. i mean, makes sense. was kinda his life's work and whatnot.

lazy

yeah, that's fair. hm.

[he interlaces his fingers together.]

didn't ever think to look at those papers. i just figured since it was finished and all... well...

[in he leans to try to read it anyway.]

Orion

*yeah, i'm just sort of. going through everything, since i don't know what's like... important and what's not.

[The notes that have been translated are, indeed, various things about the Core. Theories, plans, random ramblings. There's a couple of random notes about silly things Roan has apparently done.]

lazy

yeah... that's fair.

[oh... his heart. he glances down at his phone, making a nervous face, before tucking it away again, pulling out his substitution code translation. that'd always made everything easier once he'd got it figured out. it was just always working out what had actually been written sometimes. he passes over his translated cipher.]

i don't know if this will help or not, but...?

Orion

*i mean, i've got it more or less memorized but. once the headache really sets in it'll probably be helpful.

[He clears away some of the papers to make room for Lazy.]

lazy

[little sympathetic 'mmmm'. he curls up a little on the bed, propping himself up by the elbows, one hand on his cheek and the other holding a pencil. he reaches for one paper, pulling an average sized notebook out of his inventory. he's ready to translate.]

...are you doing okay? i just, i dunno. figure i should ask.

Orion

[Orion sighs and rubs his head.]

*about as ok as i can be, considering. there's some large version of the kid hanging out downstairs, bro's off hanging with his boyfriend, and i've decided now's a great time to be giving myself a headache.

lazy

...

[little worried look. he leans in to give a gentle headbunt.]

i'll stay with you tonight, like. you know like, even after. this sounds weird. just uh.

[HE CLEARS HIS THROAT!!!]

i'm, sorry. i'm, doing a, bad job at, translating.

[HE'S GONNA. WORK ON THAT...]

Orion

[Orion leans into the headbutt a little.]

*thanks, bro. sorry if i'm a little. scatterbrained.

[He grabs a piece of paper for himself.]

[The one Lazy has is apparently the first thing that's not (solely) about the Core. There's a few token notes on the Core, along the lines of "wouldn't it be cool if there were this type of puzzle room in it". Most of this page seems focused on musings about the nature of souls, and the various "traits" that make them up.]

lazy

no, it's okay.

[he ignores his phone buzz for a little bit as he reads through the notes with some interest; mostly about the traits.]

i've done some writing and have some of gaster's notes on this....

[he's quickly scribbling down a translation for the page in his notebook, before pulling out his phone.]

...crazed cannibals?

Orion

[Orion glances up from his page and gives Lazy a weird look.]

*crazed... what? what is going on?

lazy

uhhh, zax is talking in my group chat, and says that he's in a house with two crazed cannibals.

Orion

*what

lazy

LOOK!!

[HE SHOWS ORION THE CHAT.]

Orion

*...those aren't the bones of the deceased, bucko. we summoned those things.

lazy

i-i think he's calling roan's cooking shit...

Orion

*well. he's not wrong, technically...

lazy

yeah but he's saying that we put in the remains of the deceased in the food... [HES KIND OF LAUGHING IN DISBELIEF???]

Orion

*the day my bro starts cooking with dust is the day i... i'm not sure where i was going with that sentence, actually.

lazy

also dust?

Orion

*yeah, probably.

lazy

except i think i'd dust if i actually ate the pasta.

i'm joking.

i don't mean any offense. but.(edited)

Orion

*bro's cooking sucks.

*or at least his pasta sucks.

lazy

okay. at least we agree.

i can't believe we're crazed cannibals.

Orion

*seriously.

*i mean, it's news to me.

lazy

...well, guess he knocked out.

Orion

*guess that's good, at least.

lazy

[...little sigh.]

...guess it's back to this. i kinda have some info similar to what's on this page... i don't know if i had much that was detailed. like this, i mean.

Orion

*well, it's worth a shot.

lazy

this is soul aspects and stuff. i think... i never got many details, but i know my gaster did a lot of experiments before i was even born. i might have to go digging for the papers again.

[...little nervous look.]

sorry for rambling. i'm just a little, chatty, i guess.

Orion

*no, it's fine. i'm just... probably not much of a conversationalist right now.

[He flops down, raising himself on his elbows and clearing a little space for himself.]

*show me what you've got.

lazy

it's okay.

[he slides over the translated version...]

there's some stuff about the CORE, but it's a lot more stuff about souls. we've got about like, seven confirmed soul aspects. i always kind of assumed there's more, like... this probably can't cover all the types. but seven's a nice number. a real good power number.

Orion

*yeah, seven seems to be a really popular one, heh heh.

[He glances over the notes.]

lazy

and it's not covered on the notes, but i know if you take extracts from the souls-- and, i mean, this might be different from timeline to timeline, but...

[he's jotting stuff down on another paper.]

you can extract the primary personality components of a soul and inject it? and it'll affect people. i think i told-- yeah, i told you about dt. an example, uh... like, my boyfriend, bones... i'm still mad about this, but. he got injected with the aspect of kindness, and-- it wasn't a permanent change, thank the gods, but. it made him care more about others than himself. i mean, he already had that problem anway.

[little laugh.]

i know my soul aspect as a human ended up being determination, but i'm honestly kind of suspecting there's some self-destructive crap in there.

Orion

[Orion listens. He lets out a thoughtful hum and starts going through the papers next to him. He pulls out one page of notes and glances over it.]

*...i think... that's one of the things my bro was toying with. i mean. here, look at this.

[The page is untranslated, and very disorganized. It's like the writer was just jotting down notes on any available corner of the paper as the ideas occurred to him. But the general jist is just as Orion said: G was apparently musing about the possibility of being able to inject or "transfer" traits from one person to another. Of course, the only problem according to this page of notes is extracting them in the first place...]

lazy

[zoinks scoob.]

yeah... 'cause, the whole, you could accidentally absorb the soul. my gast made containers to put them in, and you'd extract it remotely. we also used the soul of the first child to keep... a lot of things in the underground powered. kind of related to the CORE, i think. if you don't absorb the soul or destroy it, it can... sort of regenerate itself, i think.

Orion

*huh... you guys still had access to the first child's soul? i'm not sure what happened to ours.

lazy

yeah, i think, or if it isn't theirs, it's... from the war, maybe. i don't know for sure.

[he doesn't have the heart to explain what happened to the first child, or to asriel.]

Orion

[Orion shall just have to remain in blissful ignorance. He has some idea since he's heard the stories, but...]

*right, yeah. though... the idea of keeping a soul around to use as a power source seems a little... morbid, to be honest?

lazy

[little weird grimace...]

yeah. it... yeah. i just... try to not think about it too hard.

Orion

[Orion nods with a grimace of his own.]

*can't say i blame you.

lazy

we don't really know how to... dispose of the souls without absorbing them. and we still don't really want the humans topside to know what uh... happened.

Orion

*oh. that's. yeah, i can't imagine that would go over well.

*...man. if we ever make it to the surface, i. don't think anyone's gonna be too keen to explain how we got there.

lazy

nnnnope. i'm dreading when it comes to light. i mean... the humans are going to find out about it sooner or later.

it probably won't even matter that we've been underground for... literally over a thousand years.

Orion

*haha, yeah...

[Orion slumps forward a little, glancing down at the papers around him. He lets out a sigh.]

*...i remember having an argument with g at one point. g wanted to come up with a way to break the barrier. i asked him what the point would even be.

*we've been stuck here for so long that the people actively working on the problem now... well, at the time we hadn't seen real sunlight.

lazy

...

[...he goes to lean against orion.]

...yeah. ...i'm sorry.

Orion

[Orion leans against Lazy in turn. He rubs his head.]

*thanks. it's. yeah.

*...i miss my brother.

lazy

...i don't blame you. [little nuzzle... he doesn't know what to say but he knows that feel!!!]

Orion

[Orion returns the nuzzle.]

*thanks. ...but, hey. we've. got work to do, heh.

[Starts flipping through papers, trying to distract himself. Among the pages he flips through is a page with a very familiar image. It looks a lot like a preliminary sketch for the DT Extractor...]