#goddess of marriages amiright

[universe-of-peoples]

Can we talk about how Hera, upon taking and erasing the memory of her favorite demigod, immediately gave him a girlfriend

[aoaaaoth-if]

Adventures of Aphrodite: an Affair of the Heart™

You are Aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty, the bad bitch every instagram girlie aspires to be, the flawless independent queen who don't need no filters. 

You are the ultimate trophy wife, but who do you truly belong to?

Play as a very attractive lady, because who wants to be ugli in the year of our lord 2023, amiright?

Experience firsthand what it means to be pretty, have your godtier looks be praised, your moisturized skin be acknowledged. Not like any other IF will ever offer you this. 

Customize your character to hell and back, be as detailed and precise as you wish, truly PANTONE® Colour Chart's the limit. Obviously none of it will be mentioned in the game, but what else is new.

Live, laugh, love your best hoe life... or die trying. Gotta shoehorn those skill checks somehow.

Immerse yourself in the world of Ancient Greece that has the historical accuracy of a 5 minute wikipage read, because research is hard.

-----------------THE PLOT:

Idk, who cares about plot it's all about the romance options anyway.

-----------------THE ROS:

(The image depicts ugliman)

The god of blacksmiths, metalworking, carpente- frankly, who cares. The important bit is that he's your husband. Your pesky husband. And he ain't even hot. How's a girl to hoe in such conditions? 

Well perhaps it's time to reevaluate your life choices and settle for a hardworking trustworthy man instead of chasing bdsm fantasies with shady men like you're the protagonist of a bad erotica book. Pursuing red flags is cute, but you're no longer 18. Learn to make good decisions with this wholesome man who'll treat you right, lord knows some of you need it.

(The image depicts angriman)

Being married is all nice and well, but is your marriage even real if you don't cheat? And who's a better candidate for a lover than the god of war and courage himself. The pinacle of brutality, the alpha man of your dreams, the undisputed 'TOP G'.

His violent outbursts may be concerning and his crippling jealousy slightly questionable but is that really going to deter you from pursuing this hunk? After all, if those aren't signs of true love then what are?

Put your rose-tinted glasses and 'i can fix him' badge on, it's time to go digging for the mushy center of this bad boi.

(The image depicts uwuman)

Hooking up with gods is all well and good, but the never ending drama of the Olympus gods gets old fast. Sometimes a palette cleanser is needed, but you won't settle for just any unwashed peasant. Even your magnanimous generosity has limits.

Fortunately for you, one individual stands out among the rest: Adonis.

Commit to this otherwise unremarkable specimen and prove to the world you haven't lost the common touch. Includes obligatory Poly with Persephone, because sharing is caring. 

The token woman RO, She's a woman, what more do you need to know? 

____________________________ DEMO: TBA (but like, let's be real, it never will.. has following 23092 nodemo blogs taught you nothing?) Pls like, reblog, follow and send asks, every Friday there will be a new RO reveal!

[justangrymacaroni]

ya know. it’s so fucking upsetting to me that online “feminist” reimaginings of the R*** of Persephone myth always demonize demeter, and turn the myth into a beauty and the beast-type story.

which is SO IRONIC in a way none of these ppl will ever understand. you know why beauty and the beast stories were created??? to get young girls to not fear being abused in arranged marriages to strangers, because if they are good and pure, the “beast” will be a secret prince. beauty and the beast stories/fables/myths are often utilized in this way: To criticize and dictate young women’s behavior within their society, and provide a model for that behavior. As stated in this article, the original french tale “reflects a desire to transform fairy tales from adult entertainment into parables of good behavior”, with a specific focus on preparing girls for arranged marriages to strange men.

so what these idiots are effectively doing is taking a tragically thematically relevant story about a child being ripped away from her mother and forced into a horrifying marriage which she does not want, and making it “feminist” by modeling it after a story in which girls are encouraged to not fear their potentially abusive spouses, and to always respond to cruelty with demure submissive goodness.

the heart of this myth is not a quirky-cute romance between a god of death and a goddess of spring. the heart of the story is women’s pain and suffering at the hands of a patriarchal society. but yeah sure you read the percy jackson series when you were thirteen so you know what you’re talking about amiright.

[mostlydeadlanguages]

There are many goddesses of war in cultures that didn't permit real women to fight, but Anat stands out to me as nuts for it in a way that I've only ever seen in Kali (her belt of hands & necklace of heads are v. Kali, too). Was this reflective of a cultural belief about women's "nature", or does Anat stand in contrast to that conception? Would people have heard her song and gone, "Haha, women be like that!" or were women believed to lack bloodthirst, making Anat's striking & a sign of divinity?

How funny that you should ask!  I am literally giving a paper this week at an international conference that discusses this very subject.  So, uh, great question!  Here’s my condensed answer — if you want to read the paper I’m giving me, PM me your e-mail address. :-)

(Context: the Anat description in question is translated here.)

Anat is a fascinating character, and people’s understandings of her have changed dramatically over time.  For a while, she was treated as a promiscuous “fertility goddess” (along with, y’know, every other female goddess, because women are all about the fertility, amiright?).  But in fact, we have no clear instances where she has sex — all the evidence was based on interpretations of textual gaps and ambiguities.

What we do have is her epithet: “batulatu Anat.”  Over and over, she’s identified as a batulatu (related to Hebrew ���betulah” and Akkadian “batultu”).  Now, the meaning of this word is somewhat debated; sometimes it gets translated as “virgin,” but we have evidence that it didn’t mean quite that, e.g. marriage contracts that refer to a woman with prior children as a batultu.  But what it definitely does not indicate is a married woman, or a sexually active woman.  There’s a line in 2 Samuel 13 where Amnon is lusting after his half-sister Tamar — “but she was a betulah, so it seemed impossible to do anything to her.” (Note: I’m revising my older translation/interpretation here.) In other words, a betulah is someone with whom sex would be impossible — someone who isn’t yet in the realm of sexual women.

To me, that fact — the fact that Anat isn’t someone to be lusted after, because she isn’t sexually accessible — is why she can, quite literally, get away with murder.  There is an archetype of the murderous woman in the ancient Near East, but she’s a dangerous being who needs to be punished; the topic of my paper compares Anat to Jezebel, who ends up being killed for transgressing those gender boundaries.  We see a similar backlash in the Descent of Inanna/Ishtar, where a goddess overstepping her boundaries leads to her punishment (turning her into meat hanging on a hook), and in all the incantations against the devouring Lamashtu.

Anat escapes the backlash, however, because she’s not part of the overarching metaphor that marks female power as “unnatural.”  Sex is metaphorically like eating, which makes women metaphorically food, and thus “naturally” in the position of prey rather than predator.  But the metaphor only applies to sexualized women, those who “entice the appetite” — and Anat is not one of them.

That’s my theory, anyway.  Let me know if you have further questions!

[franki-lew-yo]

“Hades and Persephone #1: The Goddess of Spring” from Patreon.

Unsurprisingly I like the Hades and Persephone myth quite a bit. I’m very plebian like that so of course I decided to draw out some of my favorite interpritations of these two. Here is Miiiiiiiiiiiighty Hades and Persephone Prosperia from the rather unusual “The Goddess of Spring” short.

This short is odd cause it’s such a westernization of the Greek myth, with next to nothing looking like it’s from Greece say for Prosperia’s clothes. Because of the westernized look of the cartoon I like to headcanon that this short takes place in the same universe as the Pastrol Symphony Suite from Fantasia, hence why Prosperia’s chatting it up with that movie’s version of Bacchus in the top right.

Thing about Hades (or Satan!Hades as Lindsay Ellis calls him) in this short: he’s a typical old movie villain who even strokes his beard yet he also seems to want to make Prosperia happy. I think, like a lot of versions of Hades, he doesn’t know how to make a girl like him and definitely doesn’t know how to talk to a girl he likes - tends to be the case with most cartoon villain crushes amIright? Since he’s associated with fire and death though, maybe the problem is he literally can’t give her the things she likes like flowers. (top left doodle)

...however, since Prosperia negotiates her way out of the underworld forever in this one instead of being tricked, I get the impression that this goddess eventually has Miiiiiiiiighty Hades wrapped around her finger. They manage to work through the rough patches of their relationship - y’know, kidnapping and all that - and actually make their marriage work. Looks like some new seasonal death gods are on their way ~ <3

(btw drawing Satan!Hades is hard when I’m so used to drawing Spring Heeled Jack relatively close to how he looks).

[hu-meow]

Gentleman Jack 1x03

Alright so I had meant to get back to this sooner, but things happen and were we are. I also realize there are a few others that have done similar to this, and they have amazing and far more intellectual and elegant and analytical words for this type of thing. Mine is far more, uh, "I like this because of blah blah blah." Anyway...

1) Fresh from the Lake District, our Ann(e)s find themselves in some lovely conversation only to be interrupted by some Rawson relations. Ann would much rather in with Anne, alone, and it is very clear when she answers Mrs Rawson. "Oh, Miss Lister, you're here. We can leave..." Ann "Oh, if you'd like" HA. Bye bitch, don't let the door hit you on the way out. But alas, they stay. And then Anne flirts, in front of her mother and Ann with Miss Rawson. Ann does this little eyebrow raise, almost like she's thinking over what Anne says, so cute. And originally I was burnt to hell about there being no show of the Lake District trip, but after reading the companion book, Anne didn't go/meet up with Ann there, so I guess that makes sense. But still. Seeing Ann light up would have been very swoon worthy.

2) I keep forgetting to mention how much I love the intro. I never skip it, even after watching it as many times as I have. The only other opening I never skipped was GoT. So. Good job on that one, music/sound team.

3) I don't know French, but Elizabeth Cordingley's complete butcher of it still cracks me up. Any French speakers reading this? Does she even make sense? Is she understandable at all?

4) This little sneaky walk to the "shed" is cute. Obviously Anne has planned it, but Ann is oblivious. And Ann talking about the Ainsworth's. It's like she's hoping Anne will approve of putting them off. At first, we just assume it's because Ann just wants to travel with Anne. But of course, later we realize (at least how I took it) that Ann would rather Mr. Asshole not be anywhere near her. Man, the way the writing sets up everything is just too perfect. Anyway...Ann's (Sophie's) delighted face when she sees the chaumiere! So adorkable. How can you not fall in love with her? Anne totally is, that's for sure lol We get our first two lip licks here (07:12 and 07:54) with Ann being nervous but trying not to be. Suppose it's more anticipation. But she was ready for that damn kiss. She even leaned in, but of course, Anne knows how to draw out that moment, and it makes it even more satisfying. And then the little tongue thing after from Ann. (9:34) It just slays me.

5) A quick "thank you James" and then an up against the door kiss. HNNG. And "...stay all night." GURL. Talk about the Thirst. Went from first kiss to that in .002 seconds. LOVE. IT. It even throws Anne off. And she plans her conquests out. But you can tell Ann was moving FAR quicker than she'd anticipated. It's like Anne didn't even have to try. lol She has to court so hard with these other women, and then here goes little Miss Ann Walker, all but throwing herself at Anne LOL def wife material.

(this is really long, so I’m drop this here)

6) I love spaztastic Marian. I think I love it most because her character was so different in GoT. Much more like Anne's. And here she's so NOT that lol. Emma plays the part so well. Everyone does. God I love this show. The spat at the table was great, with Marian being Marian and Anne trying not to smile through it all. Such perfect sibling dynamic.

7) Captain Lister about to spill the tea and Anne walks in and is like "we don't fight" LOL then continues to lay the verbal smack down to Jeramiah, like "did I fucking stutter with my price?" Anne def has the biggest balls of them all.

8) "Will you tell Calligula" LMAO just great little line. And random, but why doesn't Marian sport the weird little curls at her ears like everyone else does? I think she had them like, once, in ep 1? and that's been it. Just curious about that.

9) Ann asks Anne a few times "are you all right" and of course, Anne's answer to everyone else is always "I'm always all right." but I'm almost certain, Anne always answers Ann with some type of explanation. (there is the 'nothing' before Ann goes to Scotland, but more of that when we get to that episode, and she does still answer. MY HEART). But from what I can remember, Anne doesn't front with Ann that she's "all right". She gives her something, she's open. She's still trying to be strong, but she allows that softness too. Which brings me to probably one of my most favorite kisses of theirs. Its just so slow, and tender, and it's almost a side kiss, and just idk. It's very beautiful. ALSO I noticed this time, that after the kiss, both of their hands are on the back of the chair, and their fingers/pinkies are touching (29:50) It's brief and you almost miss it, but damn. I need that giffed. gif'd? gif'ed? as a gif. It's just too precious. They cant kiss more because of where they are and Anne is about to leave, but their hands are hidden and they just need that little bit more of contact and its just HNNG.

10) I love Aunt Anne. She's just a treasure and she love Anne so much and wants her to truly be happy. And I totally want to start saying "off you pop" LOL

11) Okay, so even though the Ann(e)s have done a LOT together, it just feels like this dinner is their official first date. They both dress up, it's dinner, Ann is nervous again and she's rambling and it's so adorkable and Anne thinks so too and just smiles as she waits for Ann to get to her point. Then there's still some nervousness with after dinner tea, and Anne is like, well, first date done, time for the big one with a reassuring leg squeeze...and Ann gets to the very idea of it being a marriage on her own! Cue floored Anne once again. I swear every time Ann surprises Anne, she falls more in love with her little Miss Walker. Ann is doing the lip lick think (38:59) and omg the way she says, and especially her face for, "give birth" is just as great as the first time. That should be a gif too LOL

12) Fucking John Booth going to the wrong damn house! Come on dude, are you even paying attention to what/were your mistress goes?? Facepalm for days. I think that actually happened though, if I'm not mistaken (it's been a minute since I read the companion book, and I read it at like 3am, and slept since...but if not, whatevs.)

13) OMG the full blown make out! Complete with some grubbling!! I find it interesting though, that Ann has Anne stop, as it becomes "too much" yet she had been asking her to stay all night. I wonder if this is a nod to how indecisive Ann was, or if she just didn't quite understand how overly emotional the physical stuff would make her. Either way, we end up with FIVE (5) nervous lip licks here, folks. It was a hard scene to not blink through, and lots of 10 sec rewinds to catch it all (42:13, 42:37, 42:44, 42:46, and a half one but I count it anyway at 43:00. I think I got those times correct, anyway. Just watch the whole scene, really.) And then we end it was Anne's 4th wall break and Ann asking what she's looking at LOL I know there's talk about wanting Ann to have some 4th wall breaks in season 2, and as much as I would love that as well, it's sorta almost a joke that everyone has it BUT Ann. So, even if she doesn't in s2, I won't be horribly disappointed, especially if Anne does it again and Ann asks again LOL

14) There were other things I had notes on, but I'm skipping because this is longer than the first two, and I hadn't planned that. Ah well...Back to the Ann(e)s....LOL of all the places, why is Ann on the floor? I mean, safety? Protection? Because shes just too fucking precious? I'd assume yes. But Anne is so confused and ready to fuck someone up and then once Ann tells her, the look on Anne's face as she goes from worry to relief is just amazing. Suranne, you fucking goddess. And then all the comfort Anne gives Ann as the poor girl just cries and doesn't think she's good enough. And again, I think this is a bit because of Mr. Fucktard, pressing and getting what he wants no matter what, where as Anne stepped back and made Ann comfortable. I swear Ann doesn't know what it's like to be put first, that her concerns are heard and understood and valued. Everyone just pushes their opinion or wants on her, and she's just had to go with it over th years. She just doesn't even know how to react to Anne and her attentiveness. It's so refreshing for Ann, even if she doesn't fully understand it. And also, because Ann was a wreck, three more lip licks, shit four! (50:59, 51:14, 51:20, 51:44)

15) Fucking Mrs SneakAss Priestly. She can't just leave well enough alone. So bored she's gotta fuck with Ann's happiness. We're having some hella good grubbling, the first fucking "I love you" and this old biddy has to ruin the parade. Anne was hella quick to jump up though. Almost like she's done that before (even though, she totally hasn't, amiright LOL) Ann(e)s just standing there after Mrs P leaves, and omg lol Anne has this "well fuck, how do we turn this around" look, like her brain is really whirling and hoping Ann doesn't freak out, mean while Ann just loses her shit and busts out laughing. So great that happened for real, too. Ann Walker, you are fantastic. "do you want to go upstairs?" because, hello, someone has blue balls at this point. But it's so cute once they get up to Ann's room and the scene nearly ends with her lip lick (58:23). But those stares, like yeah, we're totally in this together now....

AH OKAY. FucKIng LONG. I'm sorry! I even cut some things, so if you made this far, thank you! This was a really good episode, really kicks off their momentum and is sorta the calm before the storm. Oh, I also started to take note of the dresses Ann wears, cuz I swear she only wears like five. so far I have: That Blue Dress, the pink/purple plaid (first kiss), the pink with the sheer puff sleeves (that's what she's wearing in my fave kiss), the pink with some design (flowers?) for the "date", and a pink/purple color she's wearing at the end. So, that is five, and I'll have to see what else she wears, if any (yes shes wearing something else in Scotland, and no, night clothes don't exactly count. though her with her side braid and yellow corset and bloomers is my fave in the whole series...more of that later.)

Counts:

*Anne 4th wall breaks (ep): 3

**Total: 11

*Ann's lip licks (ep): 13!

**Total: 19

(there was a lot this ep, so I'm not going to list them here. And there was a fair amount of lip presses, which are def honourable mentions and worth watching...)

[myheroacademia-headcanons]

What are some of your favorite fanfics?

AAAAAAAAAAAAA GET READY FOR JUST SO MANY FICS

ok quick self promo but my erasermic/tododeku fic Heart, Mind, and Soul is still ongoing (I haven’t updated it in a while because I’m a bad person but it’s not abandoned)

Also I can’t do hyperlinks because I’m on mobile but please look these up, they’re all so good.

Get To Know You by mikewritesthings is great. Sero shamelessly flirts with Iida and Iida is an adorable, oblivious dweeb.

Story Time by mikewritesthings. Hizashi recounts his and aizawa’s love story. It’s also tagged as “#Hizashi is a melted bisexual puddle on the floor” and that’s really all you need to know about it.

Petal Steps by PitViperOfDoom is AMAZING. It’s a tododeku Greek god/goddess AU. I’m not super brushed up on my Greek mythology but Deku is the god of spring (I think) and Todoroki is the god of the underworld. It’s just. Go read it.

At First Sight by mikewritesthings is cute. Aizawa gets hit with like a love quirk or something and it makes everyone fall in love with him, so everyone’s acting super weird to him (cough except one person because they’re already in love with him cough)

Responsibility by yaanchan. This is what inspired my fic. At the time when I wrote mine, Responsibility was unfinished, but now there’s a second part called Liability! So go read it! It’s erasermic being parental to/adopting Todoroki, but Liability is a lot more serious and deals with extreme child abuse, so, content warning.

Daily Lives of Pro Heroes by Powerhh. Obligatory group chat fic. The opening lines are all you need. Star Spangled Man: My dear colleagues! Aizawa: oh god no

More Like ENDEVIL, Amiright? By TheBabbleRabble. Class 1-A bands together to fuck with Endeavor. Kirishima punches him in the face. It’s a great fic and everyone should read it.

Adventures in Babysitting by Priestlyislove. Aizawa gets hit by an age-regression quirk. I like this fic a lot. All Might punches Hizashi in the face to try and get Aizawa to stop crying. It’s wonderful. Aizawa mostly stays himself in this fic but the issue is that he occasionally reverts to child-level intelligence. It’s hilarious.

Paved With Good Intentions by KuriKuri. Someone uses their quirk on Aizawa and “makes” him fall in love with Hizashi. It’s sweet (and there’s a twist so Aizawa does actually love hizashi etc you’ll see)

Warm Nights by KuriKuri. A 5+1 fic of the times Erasermic shared a bed. Good shit.

Summer Stars by PitViperOfDoom. Todoroki comes home with Midoriya over break. Mama Midoriya has a lot of love to give. 13 chapters

Reverie by AuspiciousWhiskers. Shinsou x Deku. Shinsou realizes that Deku’s hero mumbling puts him to sleep. They have a sleepover. It’s cute af.

Not BNHA but should be mentioned anyway because they’re amazing:

Hang the Fool by AlmaMeDuele is quite good. 22 chapters of slow burn McHanzo.

Body in Electric Blue by saltsoldier. McHanzo bodyswap due to a glitch in the respawn system. It’s funny and y’all should read it.

Lost in Translation by BenevolentErrancy. HANZO SAYS DIRTY SHIT TO JESSE IN JAPANESE, JESSE IS CONFUSED, AND GENJI WANTS TO MURDER HANZO. it’s SO FUNNY

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors by vandoodle. This is truly the fake marriage fic that every fandom deserves. McHanzo have to pose as husbands and infiltrate the suburb. This is easily my favorite fic on this list. Tagged as “#finally I can use my southern upbringing to create something very gay”

four days by starscryThis is my other favorite fic on this list. McCree convinces Hanzo to pose as his boyfriend because he’s been telling his family that he has a boyfriend when he very much Does Not. Drinks are had. Beds are shared.

An Exercise In ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky. This is my all time fav Destiel fic. Cas is a (PhD?) student and Dean is a tattoo artist. Dean doesn’t think he’s good enough. A bit of it: “I mean, you’re–” He gestures at Cas, in his neat oxford shirt and nice pants. “–and I’m a high school dropout who tattoos for a living.”