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lu-undy · 3 years

Text

Request #7

The Sniper/Spy Pirate AU! Here on AO3!

Each step taken on the wooden bridge made the planks of it creak under worn-out, heeled, leather boots. The gun's strap needed adjusting, so he stopped and tied it neatly again for the long barrel to rest across his back.

He gulped down his dry throat and thought to himself that a visit to the local bar would do him some good. After all, the past few weeks at sea had been tiring. So he raised his hand and his feathery companion landed on it.

“Hoo?”

The owl opened his eyes wide and round. In the dead of night, it could see perfectly.

“Let’s go.” The hoarse voice said and the owl jumped to the tall man’s shoulder.

After walking in town for quite a while, being offered the favours of women in ragged dresses and men in torn out coats, the man in the long, dark brown, sleeveless coat heard the familiar racket of a pub. Perfect. He pushed the door.

The songs of drunk men and the chatter of the way-past-tipsy were melodies that the scruffy man was used to. He entered the place and bent his head slightly, to not bump his head. Only the colourful feathers of exotic birds on his hat grazed the top of the doorframe.

He sat at a secluded table, and waited for someone to take his order. A beer, fresh and bitter, that's what he liked.

"I swear they exist!"

"Bah…! Nonsense, I've heard the stories."

Some other poor sailing souls were chatting loudly.

"What stories?" A young one asked as the man in the long coat paid for his beer with doubloons. The waitress bit them to check and moved away.

"Listen, kid. There are stories out there about the Great Nine." An old man recalled.

"What are they?"

"You mean who are they? They were the best pirates over all the seas! The bounties over their heads would clean a bank dry of all of its money! Countless folks tried to best them, none of them came back to tell their stories."

"They were? They're dead?"

"Rumour has it they're dead. But I could never believe it, nah…" The old man shook his head, his eyebrows were so bushy that he looked like he had just one going from one end of his face to the other.

"Why?"

"Cause every once in a while, you hear of them."

"Have you ever met one?"

"Nah, but I've heard the stories. Last somebody saw some was over in Europe! Some are here, in the colonies, and there's one that no one knows where he is."

"What's so special about him?" The young sailor asked.

"Some say he doesn't even exist. He could be anywhere. See that tree there?" The old man pointed through the window. "He could be that very tree."

Another sailor sat at the table with a pint. The old man went on.

"Some say he might be your mum right now!"

"Others say he might be with your mum right now!" The sailor who had just joined said and laughter boomed in the dimly lit bar. "He's a master of disguises, as loud as shadow, and so good with men and women that folks say he never sleeps alone! But he could be anywhere and anyone! He could be you, he could be me, he could even be-"

"Oh shut up! The Great Nine don't exist!" Another voice said and disturbed the peace of the man with the owl, who winced.

"Yeah, they do! I heard one of them is around these parts of the world." The old one answered.

"Really?" The young one asked. "Which one!?"

"They say he can see like a bird of prey, even at night, like an owl. Best eyesight on all the seas, can gun down anyone and any prey from any distance, even blindfolded, they say!"

"Bullocks!" Another one answered. "The Great Nine are the stuff of legend!"

"They aren't!"

Two groups formed in the tavern and the argument went on.

"But what's so special about them?" The young sailor asked.

"Each of them are experts in somethin'. Folks say they invented their craft!"

"What do they do?" The young one asked.

"One's said to put mountains to shame. Muscles that pile higher than what you've ever seen."

"Another one's said to have blown up an entire island with one eye. They say his eye socket is haunted!"

"Aye! And there's one who's said to jump so high and run so fast, you can't see him!"

"The fourth can build cannons that fire without being manned!"

"The fifth one drinks his beer only if it's set ablaze and he's the only pirate who can sail a wooden ship on flames!"

"The sixth blasts his gun with his hat over his eyes and can jump in the air with cannons!"

"And the last one is a healer."

"A healer?" The young one repeated, perplexed. "How can he be a pirate then?"

"Rumour has it he's sailing with the pile of muscles and can make him invincible with a secret potion. He also brought some folks back from the dead!"

"How would you recognise them?" The young one asked.

"Only in battle, kid. If you see one of the miracles we described to ya, then you'll know. Legend says some can also recognise each other somehow."

"And you said he was around these parts, the one with great eyesight. How do you recognise him in particular? D'you have to watch him fight?"

"He's got a gun like none other, with one very long barrel. Rumour has it he built it on his own, forged the metal and all. Besides, he's got an owl for a pet." The old sailor resumed. "They say he sees through its eyes."

"Yeah, that's why a lot of folks think they saw him. They see a man with a bird and get scared…!"

"An owl?" The young one repeated. "Like this guy?"

All the eyes turned to that one man with the long, dark brown coat and the hat with two exotic feathers on it. He stood up and took his leave, his owl firmly perched on his shoulder. He had heard enough.

A few days later, the man with the owl looked for a contract again. As a hunter, he was a patient man and could have waited more but he missed the sea. He looked around in town to find something suitable for him. He knew the basics of sailing but that wasn't his strongest asset. He much preferred being hired as an assassin.

In the past, he had had contracts to protect convoys or attack some. He also had hunting contracts for exotic and rare species. As he had spent a lot of time with the wildlife of the colonies, he had become quite the expert with the fauna.

"Hoo."

The owl flew from his shoulder to a sign where people pin letters, advertisements for jobs. The man took a closer look. He eliminated a lot of them until one caught his attention. He tore the paper out of the sign and shoved it in his pocket before heading to the address mentioned on it.

"Sir, a gentleman to see you, for business."

"Let him in."

The house wasn't a house. It was a bloody palace and a half. The governor of that area sure was well-off.

The old, heeled boots clicked and clacked with every step on the immaculate, white tiled floor, as the man with the contract in his pocket followed the butler. They eventually arrived in a spacious and luxuriously decorated room at the end of which was a desk and the governor sitting at it.

"Faites vite."

The man in the ragged clothes didn't move. Ah, yes, that was French territory and the governor was of course, French.

"I said to make it quick." The governor translated himself and one could hear the accent even though he could speak in perfect English.

The man raised a finger and his pet owl flew to it. He looked the governor in the eye and removed his peculiar long gun from his back, holding it firmly in his palm.

"Ah, I see you are here for the job?"

He nodded, the feathers on the hat brushed the air.

"Well, you are hired."

The butler's eyebrows jumped. The governor didn't even ask anything about that vagabond and just hired him?

"Let me give you some details. Pray take a seat."

The man with the long gun obeyed.

"My ship will transport some gold and sugar from this island to further up North. From there, the cargo will be transferred to a group of ships and transported back to Europe. Your job is to make sure that the first step of the plan goes smoothly. Namely, that all the cargo makes it up North. Am I clear?"

"Any particular risk of attack?" The man had finally spoken and his voice was deep and hoarse.

"Pirates." The governor said. "They are growing more and more numerous by the minute, reproducing like rats. The English are of course to be distrusted, and some reports tell us that even some Spanish ships were seen to roam around these coasts."

The feathers on the hat nodded slowly.

"Payment?" The hoarse voice asked.

"As promised on contract, and only when I have received a letter from France saying that they received all of it."

Again, the couple of exotic feathers bowed and bounced back up.

"Will I be alone on the job?"

"No, of course not. A group of my guards will be there."

"Why hire me then? Don't trust them?"

"A pile of gold can make a man's oath for service swing." The governor answered. "Any more questions?"

The man under the hat shook his head.

"Then I have one for you. What is your name?"

"M."

The governor's eyebrows twitched but he then promptly nodded.

"Fine then, Mister M. The ship will depart tonight, the crew will expect you."

M nodded and rose to his feet before turning away.

"M?"

He turned back to the governor.

"Here, take this letter with you. My crew will let you on board if you show it."

M took the letter and nodded before leaving.

It was still early in the day and when M exited the governor's palace, he decided to spend some time on his own, walking around town.

M wasn't a man of many friends. The owl he had, Hootsy, was his longest one. He had rescued it as it was but a young chick and raised it until it became a proud and grown up owl. M wasn't very talkative either. Some people would even say that his owl would speak more than him. But it didn't matter much to him. He was living for Hootsy and himself, he had no family either.

He had his parents back home but when he had come back to them with mountains of money, they had kicked him out. That was a mistake on M's part. Of course a beginner sailor couldn't make that much. He had tried to make them believe that it was all honest money, but of course, they didn't believe him and had guessed that he had joined some pirates.

So much for family and friends. He had none left. And what about love interests, hm? Wanting to start a family? Wave goodbye to the seas and stay on land with a woman and a few kids?

Nah. He liked the sea too much and the women so little.

The truth was that anytime he wanted a night to be less lonely, he would rarely go to women. It happened, sometimes, that he would try a woman again. But there was nothing that got to him more than a man's attention. Somehow, it was more honest, more true, and even if at the end of the day it was but a transaction - a service in exchange for doubloons - it never failed to make a spark in his heart.

And that spark, he had learnt to put it off, bury it and move on. M was cursed, not because he liked men - many pirates were like him - but because he had stepped a foot in a type of life that wouldn’t allow him to exit it. Being at sea, the salt floating in the air, the seagulls chanting the land and men chanting the waves, the bobbing of the ship, the thrill of a chase, of a fight, and emerging victorious against the authorities, against forces that deemed your job illegal and your whole purpose void; yeah, that was what M had developed an addiction to. Of course men would fall and die, people he would call “mate” for a trip, a voyage, they would leave him. And it seemed to him that however big the number of people he called “mate”, the number of dead men would always rise higher and death would swallow them all eventually like a gigantic hungry shark.

And the curse did not end there. M had to hide. He did not want people to call him “mate”. He let them do it, just for the purpose of the job and because it would seem unusual if he asked other crewmates to treat him differently. But the truth was that he was different, he wasn’t like any odd pirate. No, God had to make him special and on top of pushing away any semblance of friendship, the cruel one high above had to make M do the heart-breaking job of actively pushing people away himself. Why? Because if they knew who he was, they would try to kill him.

M looked at the sun and it barely started to go down. A cold beer would do. He shoved a hand in his pocket and felt the coins. Yeah, that should do for a pint or two. He headed for the harbor and entered a tavern there.

The setting was much different than that pub of the previous day. Everywhere around him were official sailors, people who had a wage and all for their work. There were even a few blue coats, officers of the French naval forces. M didn’t pay any attention to them. He went to the counter and placed his order, barely noticing the eyes riveted on him, the odd one in the crowd.

“Mais qu’est-ce qu’il fait là? Il n’a pas l’air Français.”

[What the hell is he doing here? He doesn’t look French.]

“A mon avis, c’est un de ces pirates, ou pire, un Anglais.”

[In my opinion, he’s a pirate, or worse, he could be English.]

“Un pirate? Ici? Il tend le bâton pour se faire battre…”

[A pirate? Here? He is asking to be beaten up...]

M’s understanding of French was limited to sailing words. But no matter the language, he could feel the tension rising in the air and the animosity growing towards him.

“Hé, d’où tu viens, l’ami?”

[Hey, where d’you come from, mate?]

M kept on drinking his beer silently.

“Hé, j’te cause….!”

[Hey, I’m talkin’ to you….!]

The French naval officer came closer and pulled M by the shoulder.

“T’es Français ou non?”

[Are you French or not?]

M sighed and frowned.

“No.” He answered.

“Alors casse-toi avant qu’on te casse la gueule.”

[Then fuck off out of here before we beat you up.]

M did not want to attract any attention but… His pint was still pretty full and he had paid with the last few doubloons he had. In other words, he didn’t have much to lose. He whistled and his owl flew inside the pub, landing next to his glass.

"Une chouette et un long fusil… Est-ce que c'est…?"

[An owl and the long gun… Is that…?]

One sailor pointed at M.

"C'est personne! J'en ai vu des gens qui se trimballent avec un hibou et un long fusil. Ils s’habillent comme une des Grand Neuf pour effrayer les gens!”

[It's no one! Countless people I've met with a pet owl and a long barrelled gun. They just dress up like one of the Great Nine to scare people away!]

“I’m not lookin’ for trouble. Just a beer close to the harbour.”

The people in the bar looked at each other, intrigued. A man with a pet owl and an odd long barrelled gun on his back…?

“Leave him be.” Another officer said from his chair in the corner of the room. He spoke in English with a similar accent than that of the governor. “He paid for his beer as much as you did, thus giving his money to a French landlord. If more of the English scum did the same, we wouldn’t need to hire pirates at each other to help us in this war.”

“J’en ai rien à foutre. Qu’il dégage ou je vais le renvoyer chez sa mère vite fait bien fait.”

[I don’t give a fuck. He should be out of this place, before I send him back to his mum quick.]

People turned to the man who was in the corner, the one who had defended the stranger, and he stood up. He walked to the one who wanted to pick up a fight and looked them straight in the eye.

“C’est toi que je vais renvoyer chez ta mère si tu ne la boucles pas.”

[It’s you I will send to your mother if you don’t shut it.]

He patted his own shoulder where the sewn pattern of his rank was and the feisty officer froze.

“Oh, merde… Pardon, Monsieur!” He saluted him.

[Oh, shit… Sorry, Sir!]

M had ignored the whole conversation. He had asked for a bowl of water and Hootsy was now bathing in it. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned. The officer sat next to him.

“Sorry for the inconvenience. I know you will join us on the governor’s ship tonight. My name is Capitaine de Belzyeux.”

M nodded in thanks.

“You the captain of the ship?”

“No, I will come as a guard with my squad.”

M nodded again.

“See you later.” The Frenchman said.

M finished his drink and the sun gently set in the distance, the sky turned from blue to pink and darker shades of violet in the distance. He looked at his owl and offered his hand to him.

Tick, tack, tick, tack.

Hootsy’s claws clicked on the wooden counter and the feathery companion climbed on his master’s hand, wrapping his claws gently around his fingers. M put him on his shoulder and exited the tavern, heading for the docks.

He walked along the ships, Hootsy flying above him until M located the governor’s ship. The sails were very distinct, his sigil was sewn there gigantically.

Embarking wasn't an issue for M, the letter vouched for him. But once aboard of course, people kept on giving him odd looks. He was the only one not wearing a blue uniform. But as the Captain from the tavern was there, no one attempted more than whispers or looks.

The ship departed from the harbour and was headed deep into the sea. The strip of land on the horizon shrunk to a line, and soon, nothing. The water was calm, one could only hear the occasional creaking of the wood on the ship, or the sails rolling, inflating under the soft wind before they deflated and let a gentle draft through. Orders were shouted left and right but soon, silence fell when the ship was sufficiently far from any land.

The night was deep and everywhere around the ship was an infinite sea, the ripples at the surface gently reflected the moonlight. Most of the crewmates withdrew to get some rest, leaving a few to keep watch.

“Mercenary?” M turned. The Captain from earlier came to him. “Follow me, please.”

M obeyed and went down the cargo hold of the ship, passing the crewmates' rustic beds.

“That’s where the gold is.” He pointed at crates. “Should things go pear-shaped, this is what my squad, me and you will die for.”

M’s eyes lingered on the crates. They were neatly arranged and piled up and he thought to himself that it was indeed a lot of it. Wherever that governor had got it all from was beyond him.

“As you see, there is only one way to get inside, through this door that I have led you through, and this entire level is below the crew’s level where some of my guards are posted. Whoever wants this will have to pass through three levels of the ship and even more levels of guns and guards to get here.”

“Thanks.” M nodded.

“No problem.” Both exited the room and the Captain locked it again. M saw him slip the key in his pocket. “Now, I am not one to be enthused at the idea of working with a mercenary.”

Both men resurfaced on the deck.

“Your kind are competition to the regular armed forces of any country. Besides, your presence here speaks at length of how much the governor trusts me and my men… But I suppose, with what both you and I have seen down there, it is only fair to doubt the loyalty of men. Some would kill for much less.”

They walked along the deck.

“But contrary to a lot of your bunch that I have met through the years, you don’t seem arrogant about it and you don’t provoke my men, or the regular guards in general. Quite peculiar.”

M nodded without adding a word. The Captain stared at him for a second and decided to leave the man to his own peace.

M climbed up to the crow’s nest. He leaned to rest his forearms on the bar there and just calmly watched the starry sky. He took a deep breath. Yeah, that was his life, and one he wouldn’t exchange with anyone else for anything in the world. Out there, at sea, not having to follow anyone’s order, doing a job, getting paid and moving on to the next. No strings attached.

Well, he sometimes wished he did have a few strings attached to something, to someone. M wasn’t getting any younger and the thought of coming back somewhere to a room with someone waiting for him tickled his insides warmly. But who? Who could accept to let him go periodically and perhaps not see him again? Because it was out of the way to stop being what he did best. After all, he was the best in his business for a reason and liked his job. It wasn’t always on the legal side of the line, but it paid enough and he wasn’t bothered too much about the causes or consequences of his contracts. Those were for other people to deal with, in their consciences. He was a means hired to an end. Some would argue he was doing the dirty work. In the eyes of the law? Yeah, very dirty sometimes. But for him? He was doing the exciting part, the part that in fact no one else could do.

His train of thought was broken by a sailor climbing up the crow’s nest. M let him come up and slid back down. His heels hit the floor with a wooden click. He went back to the edge of the deck and let the salty air gently lick his face.

“Capitaine! Pirates en vue! Nord-Ouest et en approche rapide!”

[Captain! Pirates! North-West and coming fast!]

The crew woke up fast at the jingle of the metal bell that resounded promptly after. M squinted in the direction announced by the sailor on the crow’s nest and yes, he could see it. A ship coming closer and closer.

Orders were shouted, sailors put all their efforts into trying to gain some speed but burdened as the ship was, they would never manage to avoid the confrontation. Some other sailors manned the cannons and got ready to fire. The racket of voices slashing the air, heavy cannons slowly rotated to get the right angle on their target as the rest of the crew took muskets and swords.

M whistled and Hootsy perched on his shoulder. He exchanged a few words with the bird before setting it free. M watched as the pirate ship got closer. He removed his gun from his back and loaded it to get ready. He took aim and was the first gunshot that anyone heard. All the eyes turned to him as he reloaded shot after shot. Sailors laughed at him. Taking shots from that far surely was a waste of ammunition. Thank God the man had a pouch with his own and wasn’t using the crew’s or they wouldn’t be laughing seeing his reloading and shooting relentlessly. The captain of the ship ignored the lunatic and went on shouting orders.

“Aux canons! Tenez-vous prêts!”

[Man the cannons! Get ready!]

The French Captain from the tavern took his spyglass out and took a look. His jaw dropped.

“Non!” He roared. “Ne tirez pas!”

[Don’t shoot!]

The sailors looked at each other, confused.

“Ne tirez pas, leur canonniers ont été abattus!”

[Don’t shoot, the pirates manning the cannons are down!]

The official captain of the ship took a look and his jaw dropped. His eyes went straight to M who was reloading with impressive speed and took another shot. Hootsy came back to his master and hooted to him a message that only M could understand. He raised his eyes to the French Captain from the tavern.

“There are more, they’re hidden in the ship and will come out when they’re within boardin’ distance.” He simply said and took another shot that split the air before it split a skull, leaving a bullet hole cleaner than what any pirate had ever seen before.

The pirate ship was helped by the wind and soon it happened. The pirates boarded the official ship and swords slashed, clouds of smoke popped everywhere on the deck where gunshots slashed through the air. The battle raged but the pirates soon manned their cannons again and started taking shots on the regular ship. The water started to flow inside the ship and it slowly rose, more and more. Each loud boom was accompanied by the sound of the wood crunching under the impact of the heavy cannonball piercing through the hull mercilessly. As the water flowed in more and more, the sailors were soon overwhelmed and some abandoned the ship, others were shot dead or thrown overboard.

M was of course caught in the middle of the fight. He put his rifle on his back again and picked up a sword. A pirate ran to him but he fell limply to the floor before he reached him. M turned to a group rushing to him. There was a gunshot and the blood sprang from them, as they were sliced open, but by whom? M couldn’t tell. In the dead of night, it was hard to see even for him.

“Hoo!”

M turned again and this time his sword slashed with an opponent. Soon after, the ship was set ablaze by the pirates and the flames devoured the wood mercilessly. M defended himself and managed to protect himself until he received a hit on the head and blacked out on the vision of hell; flames everywhere, and the smell of burning wood, ashes blown by the air.

When he gained consciousness again, He was tied in a cage like an animal and the French Captain from the tavern was there too, in another cage. M looked around. They were in the cargo hold of a ship, not their original one. And oh… His hat was gone, his braid of brown hair still laid on his shoulder.

“You’re finally awake? God bless you... “ The French Captain whispered. “We’re on the pirate ship and I’m afraid they didn’t make many more prisoners. It’s only you, me and a handful of others.” He nodded in the direction of a cage when other bruised men were tied up.

“Oi! They woke up down there!” A voice shouted in perfect English, which told M that it was one of the pirates. Soon after, a few of the scoundrels came in to examine their prisoners.

“What do we have here, eh? Frenchie, Frenchie, Frenchie and oh… You! We put you in a different cage cause you’re special. You’re not French.” The pirate captain had an impressively large, black hat with feathers as red as blood. He had a long, unkempt beard and dark eyes. The man was largely built too. “Who’re you, eh? Why’re the Frenchies keepin’ ya? Lucky charm? Well if you’re their lucky charm, we should toss you overboard, eh?”

The rest of the pirates cheered and laughed around him.

“Now, we found you with one hell of a weird gun.”

One of the pirates brought M’s rifle forward.

“You’re the one who took my men down from the bloody Moon, yeah?”

M didn’t answer. His head hurt too much and he didn’t want to even raise his eyes to the pirate captain, who went on.

“Now, some of my men here are scared of you, that’s precisely why I want to keep you. It’ll teach them to not fear anyone. Whatever you are, you’re human and we can kill you any moment. Now, for the Frenchies…” He turned to the French Captain. “You’re the chief there, aren’t ya? Are those your men?” The pirate nodded to the third cage.

“What do you want from us?” The French captain bared his teeth.

“From you? I want to know what was on your ship and if there are more like it coming. It sank faster than an elephant!"

"I won't say anything to some scum like you."

"Well then," The pirate Captain turned to his men. "Get one out of the bird cage and shoot'em."

M was still surfacing back to full conscience when the gunshot made his ears ring loudly. He winced and frowned, trying to catch as much force as he could. His mind was foggy but when he managed to open his eyes again, there were a few corpses on the ground. French sailors.

The French Captain couldn't do anything.

"I told you! We were the only ship with this cargo!"

"Yeah but you didn't tell us what you were transporting. Another one!"

Another gunshot and a body fell lifeless.

"Gold! We were transporting gold but it was the entire stack of it! I swear!" The bloodshed was enough for the French official soldier.

"Are you sure?" He gestured and another French sailor was executed.

"I swear!" The French officer shouted, tears welling at his eyes. The pile of corpses was growing and the man's conscience was gnawing on him.

"Alright then…" The pirate gestured and the French man's eyes snapped wide before his skull got pierced by a bullet and his body hit the floor limply.

M leaned back and sighed.

"Out with the bodies, quick!" The captain of the pirates ordered and his crew got to work.

"And what should we do with this one?" One of them asked, pointing at M.

"We keep him for now."

The bodies were dragged out and M was left alone in the dimly lit cargo hold. He fully woke up and started to move his wrists. Bugger, they were in iron handcuffs. He gritted his teeth and looked around him. That's when he noticed that his ankles were in cuffs too.

Well, time to think of something… Hm…

His eyes darted everywhere around him, as the boat gently bobbed left and right under the waves and the currents, when a smell tickled his nostrils. It was sweet, what was it? It wasn't sugar or honey, no, it was… It was… Vanilla?

He frowned and looked around him but couldn't see anything that could smell of vanilla. It intrigued him and distracted him almost well enough that he hardly heard a metallic click. M moved his wrists. He was free?

Tick, tack, tick, tack…

M thought it was Hootsy but out of the shadows a white cockatoo appeared and entered his cage, slipping between the bars.

"Hey there, baby bird." M pushed the handcuffs away from his wrists and offered a hand to the bird who climbed on his fingers. He petted it. "D'you have any idea how I can make it out of here, eh?"

The cockatoo raised his eyes to the man and nodded, bending his head down to enjoy more neck scratches.

"Sorry I don't have any treats for you. I used to have Hootsy's but they're meat. I doubt you'll like that."

The bird nodded again before jumping down M's lap and curling there. The man cupped him to bring him warmth and petted it, staring at it on his lap.

"There, there…"

Click.

M raised an eyebrow. The noise surprised him and as he raised his head to see in front of him, his eyes met with the silhouette of a man crouching in front of him, with a gloved finger on his lips.

M didn't make a noise.

"Good day, M." The stranger said low enough that the wood creaking almost covered his voice. "Now listen, I will get you out of here, but you need to follow my instructions closely."

The voice had a French accent too, was that one of the sailors? Nah, none of them knew his name.

"Do you understand me?" The stranger asked and M nodded.

"Good." He unlocked the cage and freed M before gesturing to him to follow him. The white cockatoo flew to the stranger.

“Perle, reste avec le Monsieur, ma chérie.”

[Pearl, stay with the gentleman, my darling.]

The bird flew from his shoulder to M’s and both men walked as silently as possible. M grabbed his equipment from the floor nearby, he put his rifle on his back and his hat on his head. When they faced the stairs to go up one level, they saw a pirate standing guard. The stranger motioned M to wait, and he obeyed. He watched as the man dressed with a long dark coat and a hood on his head slithered behind the pirate, killed him in silence and dragged his body down and behind the stairs. When he emerged from there, he was dressed and looked absolutely like the man he had just killed.

M's eyebrows jumped. How the hell did he dress up that fast? And the face? Was he the pirate's twin?

They progressed up level by level. The stranger's abilities were like no others. M saw him stab the pirates in the back stealthily, one by one, putting a hand on their mouths to cover any noise they would make, before disguising as them and progressing further. Sometimes, he would even lure them with a conversation before striking. M would hide behind barrels or crates and watch his improvised ally until they made it to the upper deck. M realised that an entire day had passed since the boarding of the governor’s ship as it was already night again.

"Now, I will have to handcuff you again momentarily and take your equipment from you. Follow me and you will find your freedom."

M nodded and got his wrists back in a pair of cuffs. The stranger took his rifle and his hat that he put on his own head before pushing M outside.

"Now, get outta there! Captain wants you out, whoever the fuck you are…"

M's eyebrows jumped again. Where the hell was the French accent gone to?

It didn't matter much because the acting fooled the remaining pirates who pitched in in the mocking of the unfortunate M, who played the stranger's game and walked on the deck. When he raised his eyes, he realised that the ship was actually stopped at some land. Where that was, M had no idea. But he needed to get far and away from these pirates right now.

The stranger pushed him out of the ship with the tip of a sword poking his back and into the harbour. They walked and walked until they ended up in a narrow alleyway where the stranger resumed his normal attire with the dark cloak in a flash and uncuffed M.

Hootsy came flying and landed on his master's shoulder.

"You must run and hide. Any minute now, they will realise that something is wrong." The stranger said.

M observed the man. His face was hidden under his hood and when the nearby street lamp light hit him right, he realised that he had some kind of scarf around his mouth and nose. Only his very light blue eyes flashed in the night.

"But I don't suppose you have anywhere to stay here, do you?"

"I don't even know where we are." M answered.

"Back where you started. But I doubt the governor will be happy with you when he will know that you lost his gold. So you cannot hide with him."

M nodded and lowered his head.

"Which is why I am offering you to follow me back to my house."

M's head jerked back up. That stranger was awfully generous…

"Who're you?"

"You know who I am and I know who you are too. The legends did not lie, you really have a pet owl and a very long barrelled gun."

M could hear the smirk even if he couldn't see it.

"Now, follow me, we shall go out of town."

They walked through dark and poorly lit streets, stopping every so often to let a group of patrolling guards cross their paths and walk away. After what seemed like eternity, they walked out of town and had to walk on roads never taken before by man. M pushed the dense foliage to follow the stranger not by necessity anymore but out of curiosity.

"Here we are."

Hidden deep in the jungle was a white house. It wasn't as big as the governor's palace but it was more than reasonable in size for a wealthy family.

“Hoo!”

The stranger knocked on his own door and a butler opened.

"Bonsoir, Monsieur."

[Good evening, Sir.]

"Good evening, Alexandre. Please speak in English as our guest here is not familiar with our tongue. Come in, please, M."

M was taken aback. How did the stranger know his name?

He followed him inside to discover that the house was richly decorated. And M's suspicions as to who his host was were more and more confirmed.

"I imagine you are quite hungry. Alexandre, please prepare some dinner for two, I will show our guest around."

"Of course, Sir."

"Follow me, M."

"Hold on."

Both stopped in the corridor.

"How d'you know my name?"

The stranger pulled his hood down and M saw salt and pepper hair combed back into a slightly long mullet. The front grey lock nonetheless fell between his eyes. M’s eyes went down to his host's attire and he realised that under the cloak, he was dressed as posh as his manners and his house.

"You may call me L." He simply answered with a smile that M finally saw as he removed the scarf in front of his mouth.

A slightly hooked nose, slim face and silhouette overall, and very thin lips under a finely trimmed moustache, French style, with a goatee.

"Now, follow me upstairs… Here are your quarters. Madeleine?" He shouted and a maid appeared. “S’il vous plaît, préparez un bain pour notre invité, il en a bien besoin.”

[Please prepare a bath for our guest, he could do with one.]

"Oui, Monsieur." She nodded and went on her way.

[Yes, Sir.]

“I shall leave you in the hands of Madeleine, M. See you for dinner.”

The expert hunter was so surprised that he didn’t know if he should thank the man or run away as fast as possible.

“Monsieur?” Madeleine’s feminine and gentle voice cut M in his astonishment and grounded him back to Earth. “Veuillez me suivre.”

[Please follow me.]

“D’you speak any English?” He asked as Hootsy flew straight to the bed, between the pillows.

“Euh, je, non, je ne parle pas Anglais.” She blushed and lowered her head.

[Uh, I, no, I do not speak English.]

“It’s alright, just go ahead, I’ll follow.”

Communicating with Madeleine turned out to be easier than expected. Sign language helped greatly. She showed him his room and started preparing the bath. M stripped naked and slipped in before she came back to scrub him clean with - oh - a vanilla scented kind of soap.

“Voilà, Monsieur. Monsieur L vous attend pour dîner et vous trouverez de quoi vous habiller sur votre lit.”

[Here we are, Sir. Mister L is waiting for your dinner and you will find what you need to dress up on your bed.]

M raised a curious eyebrow and Madeleine repeated herself with gestures, pointing fingers and miming actions.

“Ah, yeah, alright, I get it. Uh, merci.” He tried his best and Madeleine nodded with a wide grin on her face. She left the man alone in his bathroom to get out of the bath and go to the bedroom to get dressed.

When he entered the bedroom, M found a few different options of clothing on the bed. He went for the most casual one. A white shirt, with quite wide and puffy sleeves, and a pair of dark trousers. He put them on and slipped some socks. Even slippers were provided.

Hootsy flew to his shoulder as he went downstairs and stopped at the living room door, his hair still damp on his shoulders.

“Ah, M, please join me.” L gestured to him and he entered the room. “Take a seat and join me, I hope you will enjoy your meal. What does your feathery companion enjoy?”

M took a seat and his eyes raised to comprehend everything that was on the table. Chicken, lamb, beef, salads, fruits, vegetables, potatoes…

“Meat.” M answered.

“Oh, come here, then.” L raised his finger and Hootsy flew to him. He fed it some lamb and petted his head. “I like birds, their freedom is inspiring.”

M was still tense. He did not want to stay for dinner with that man. Why was he still there? And dressed by him as well…?

“What d’you want from me?”

“A few answers and a bit of company. But first, please, you must be starving. Help yourself.”

M went for a chicken thigh. He grabbed the large knife and cut it in one confident slice before going at it.

“I presume you know who I am.” L said.

“Have my idea.”

“Pray share.”

M raised his eyes from his plate to Alexandre and Madeleine still standing not far. L turned to them and nodded. Both of them left.

“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” M said.

“And so are you. I am delighted to meet you, a master hunter and sharpest of all shooters. I saw you in action and it was quite a feat.”

“You’re not bad with your disguisin’ and backstabbin’ either.”

The concerto of cutlery on plate resumed. They exchanged gazes with each other, the tension was making the air electric. Should one trust the other? What were his ideas? His intentions? Should one just ask?

“Why did you get me out of there?”

“I heard that someone dressed like you was roaming the streets.”

“Who told you?”

“Perle.” The Frenchman said and his snow white bird flew to him. “She has eyes and ears everywhere. People don’t mind what they say where birds fly free. Too bad for them, and quite good for me. Tiens, ma belle.”

[Here, my pretty one.]

He fed her some nuts that were in a separate little bowl.

“What d’you want from me?” M asked.

“Nothing. Or rather, I want to suggest something.” L said, becoming slightly more serious. “You might wonder why I was on that pirate ship you got captured in.”

M nodded, his face still deep in his food.

“Well, I could have retired or stopped. As you can see, I live very comfortably and do not need to continue pirating, looting, stealing and such.”

“But?” M raised his lagoon blue eyes to his host and saw the shadow of a smirk on L’s lips.

“But I like it. I like the thrill of it, the tension, the energy and sometimes, the chaos even. On the deck of the governor’s ship, I was there, fighting too.”

“Saw you.”

L’s eyebrows jumped.

“Did you?”

“Never saw anyone fight swords with a short blade.”

“Swords are preposterous, large, inconvenient and at the other end of stealthy. I like to do what I need to do while hiding in plain sight, as you have noticed. If I can make my way without making any noise, then I will.”

“Yeah, saw that too, and never saw anyone like you before.”

The Frenchman’s smirk grew wider.

“Likewise. The way that you took down those people manning the cannons was divine. If your gun had been silent, I would have had to sit down to breathe.”

M stopped chewing sharp. His irises darted left and right as the blush on his cheeks appeared. He cleared his throat and frowned, diving again in his plate.

“Workin’ on it actually.”

“Are you?” L cocked an eyebrow and M met his gaze for an instant.

“Still haven’t told me what you want from me.”

“Straight to the point, I like that.” L straightened his back on his chair. “Here is my proposition. I know you have nowhere to go and no one left. You cannot wave goodbye to that life of adrenaline either so I wonder, would you like to join me?”

M stopped eating.

“What do you mean, join you?” He asked.

“I regularly go and have fun on my own. My targets are dictated only by me.”

“Sounds… weird. Also, how d’you know things about me?”

“People think that my trade is seduction and disguises. Part of it is, yes, but I also possess means of gathering intelligence unlike you have ever seen.”

M cocked an eyebrow and leaned back on his chair.

“Meanin’?”

“Meaning that I know things, like I know that you were supposed to transport thirty-eigth crates of gold from the governor from here to another city up North where it would then be split up to be transported to France. But, as you are here and the gold twenty thousand fathoms below the sea, you had better either leave or pretend you are dead, at least for this governor.”

M sighed.

“My proposition is simple. We continue enjoying what we do best, but we don’t do it for the money or for fame. I would rather people ignored my existence and if I could, I would wipe out their memories like water washes footprints on the sand.”

M noticed the slight intensity in the man’s eyes.

“Did stuff you regret too, eh?” The Frenchman failed to hide his vexation. “It’s alright, we all do. I guess it’s why we don’t stop. We just always try again to make it right. But it doesn’t change.”

Silence fell.

“Get out of this house.”

“What?” M raised his head off his plate.

“I said. Get out of my house this instant.”

A few minutes later, the hunter was out with his hat, his rifle and his misery. And he still had the slippers on. He looked down and sighed. Well, at least he had a bite. And the food was really good too.

It was deep into the night now but M shouldn’t risk going to town and meeting with a patrol of guards. Surely the governor had learnt about the shipwreck, because if M had the time to make it back, then that news sure did too.

He walked around the impressive white house towards the sound of the waves and after pushing leaves left and right, he found the sand, not far. He removed the slippers, left them there before treading in the still warm sand. The grains flowed on his feet as they sank with each step. The wind was gentle and helped dry his hair as his shirt waved under the gentle draft.

M sat down and crossed his legs looking at the waves roll and the froth periodically slide up to him, before withdrawing again.

What he had said to L, it was unfortunately true. He wished he hadn’t killed that many men, he wished he hadn’t killed the first one, he wished he hadn’t brought that money to his parents, he wished he hadn’t lost them that day, as he thought he would keep them happy forever but ended up disappointing them beyond repair. Maybe he should have just stayed on the farm with them, he shouldn’t have gone and lied for the day on a ship, he shouldn’t. Maybe it was better to be stuck there, with them, find someone to settle with and have a gentle life rather than be here, as lonely as he could get, no family, no friends, no shelter other than the starry sky. Remorse was maybe worse than regret.

M brushed the sand next to him until it was relatively flat. He then removed his shirt and folded it approximately, just so that it would be a square-ish mass of fabrics to use as a pillow. He lay down and stared at the now vertical front of the sea rolling to him and further away, repeatedly, tirelessly.

While him? He was tired. He had had enough. He wished he could live like L. Big house, far from people, and his meals, always hot and ready. And the butler and the housemaid as well… I mean, that’s some kind of company, right? That’s a few people to come home to, isn’t it?

Mundy sighed.

Mundy, that was his name, the name that his parents had given him and that he had decided to bury along with them, all those years ago, on that day that his life had flipped. From farmer to pirate. From son to orphan.

As the waves rolled and rolled, as his thoughts crept up on him and invaded him, he closed his eyes and let it all come to him. The regrets, the remorse, the feeling of being too big, taking too much space, being too visible, attracting too much unwanted attention. He wanted to be forgotten, just plainly forgotten. He wished he hadn’t been a burden for his parents, he wished he hadn’t brought that life of misery on himself. Yes, being a pirate had its moments of adrenaline rushes, of being absorbed into something that sucked all his mind and prevented him from looking back. But when he did, oh boy…

Vanilla.

Mundy opened his eyes. He could smell it.

“I do apologise.”

Mundy sat up and looked next to him. L was sitting there, his elegantly clothed derrière planted on the sand, right next to Mundy’s.

"I should not have reacted the way I did. It was impulsive of me."

"It's fine."

They let the wind and the waves speak for a while.

"Lucien."

"What?"

"My real name. It is Lucien."

"You're really French."

"A curse and a blessing, depending on who you ask."

They chuckled and their eyes met.

"Where are you from, M?"

"Mundy, and I'm from Australia."

"Oh… I have heard legends about that place."

"You ever been there?"

"Non, the seas never took me that far. I… I couldn't afford it."

"What, you always paid a ticket to travel?" Mundy chuckled.

"Non, it is not a monetary cost I am talking about, but an emotional one." Lucien crossed his legs and lowered his head. "If only it was something as easy to obtain as money."

"What was it?"

"I suppose you had a family at some point? Before this whole 'becoming a legend of a pirate'?"

"Yeah, my parents."

"No family of your own, wife, children?"

"Nah."

There was a second of silence.

"What?" Mundy asked, looking at Lucien.

"Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Why didn't you have a family?"

"Sheilas are odd. Never understood them."

"Do you prefer men?"

"Yeah."

"Fair enough."

"What about you?"

Lucien lay down on the sand, putting his hands below his head.

"I once was a father, and a husband."

Mundy's eyebrows jumped.

"Really?"

"Oui." He chuckled with a distraught smile on his lips. "I had a son, Jérémy, and a wonderful wife."

"What happened?" Mundy lay down next to him and stared at the stars.

"I thought I could keep them away from harm's way and live my life with both of my passions, piracy, and them. It turned out I had to make a choice, and before I could, God made that choice for me. I lost the only woman I ever had any interest in, and our dear beloved boy."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

Lucien took a deep breath and sighed.

"There is nothing you or I can do about it, pirate legends or not. But thank you."

Silence fell for a while, the waves still rolled and spilled a few metres away from their feet.

"Have you ever met the others?" Mundy asked.

"The rest of the Nine? Oui, I have. After I lost my family, I was set on travelling and… Dare I admit, I wanted to take the lives of the people who took theirs. So I sailed and ruthlessly killed, left and right. At some point, I even ignored what faction those poor souls were from, for each time I was facing someone, I could not stop that voice in me, saying that this one might be the one who killed them."

"Gosh…”

“I travelled the world and met all of them. Remarkable people, some of them actually work together.”

“Do they?”

“Oui, Mikhail and Ludvig, the Mountain and the Healer work together. The Flame and the Hammer do too, how else would a ship be able to sail on oily flames if not for the Hammer’s ingenuity.”

“Did you talk to them?”

“Oui. I… I suggested an alliance between them and myself.”

“Did they accept?”

“What do you think?” Lucien answered. “I am here on this beach with you now.”

“Oh… So they didn’t.”

“Non indeed they did not. Looking back at it, I understand. My trade is very different from theirs. They face their enemies frontally while my methods require more subtlety. It would never have worked. And I am not getting younger.”

Mundy chuckled.

“What?”

“You’re not that old, eh? And from what I’ve seen you do today, you could go on for years.”

Lucien smiled.

“I might. But I am… bothered by something.”

“What is it?”

“The solitude that this life condemned me in. I am restless and obsessed with the idea of some company.”

“I know a few places in town.” Mundy answered.

“I do not mean it in that way. If physical satisfaction was the only thing I was after, it would not be an issue, I would have any man or woman offer his favours to me in the snap of my fingers.”

“Man or woman?” Mundy repeated.

Their eyes met again.

“Oui.”

Mundy nodded to himself.

“I am looking for…” Lucien started.

“For what?”

Lucien turned his head and Mundy imitated him. Their eyes met.

“For exactly what we are doing right now.” The Frenchman answered with a smile. “Some company, some meaningful discussions, an exchange of ideas, opinions, a few laughs, why not?”

“You can laugh?” Mundy teased and Lucien chuckled.

“Believe me, I can, oui.”

“Still have to see it then.” Mundy smiled and it made the waves stop rolling for Lucien.

“Please, stay.” Lucien asked, almost whispering.

Mundy’s smile vanished and he looked away.

“I-I don’t know. Need to think about it.”

“Fine.” Lucien sighed. “I understand if you like your freedom better.”

“I don’t know.” Mundy repeated. “The bit you said about solitude. Makes a lot of sense.”

Lucien’s eyebrows jumped.

“What do you mean?” He asked, and Mundy took a deep breath.

“I’m… I’m tired too; not of what I’m doin’, I’m tired of bein’ alone. No one gets what it feels like. People say that it’s great and excitin’ and all but at the end of the day, it’s just you, and you don’t want people to know who you are and bother you, of course, but that just pushes you to be more alone and… sad.”

Lucien stared at the man lying on the sand next to him, his rough skin, his odd sideburns and his long, wavy hair, his naked chest too.

“You’re really lonely?” Mundy asked, looking him in the eye.

“Oui, I am. I… This conversation that we are having is… a priceless gift you are offering me. It is more than I had hoped to have with anyone.”

“C’mon, you have yer Alexander and Madeleine at home. You can talk to them and all, you’re not all that lonely.”

“Non, Mundy. Their company is very enjoyable, oui, but it does not fill the emptiness that you presently are with your presence and your words.”

Their eyes lingered on each other.

“My words might seem strong to you but…”

“No.” Mundy blinked with both eyes. “I get it, I… I really do. The more you talk about it, the more I… Yeah… I uh… Yeah, I’ll stay, I think.”

Lucien’s eyes snapped wide and he rolled to his side.

"Are you sure? You may take your time thinking if you want.”

“No, I’m tired of waitin’. I’m tired of everythin’. Maybe this is what I need.”

The Frenchman smiled from ear to ear.

“But hold on,” Mundy asked. “I don’t have any money to pay anythin’, like rent or food. I need to go and get some work.”

“It will not be necessary. This house is mine, I am not renting it, and I will be glad to cover all the costs myself.”

“It’s unfair.”

“Non, you just did not understand what I said.” Lucien propped his head on his hand, still lying on his side in the sand. “I will repeat myself but your company is priceless.”

They exchanged a smile.

“You barely know me. Maybe I’m hell to live with?” Mundy said.

“Non, you are not. You have been the dream housemate so far. We even had our first argument.” Lucien chuckled.

“Yeah, and you kicked me out the house already, I’m tellin’ you, I’m terrible.” Mundy rolled on his side too, facing the Frenchman, and his hair gently fell on his shoulders and on his naked chest.

“Maybe you are terrible, but you are the kind of terribleness that I look for.”

“Heh, thanks. I like it better when you’re like that.”

“Like what?”

“Not posh and arrogant, but you just say what you want.”

“Should I tell you what I want now?”

“Go ahead.”

Lucien looked down at the sand and timidly raised his eyes to Mundy again.

“I… I…” His jaw was petrified as his mind raced to find the proper way to express himself. His eyes darted on Mundy, everywhere, his face, his body, his hair.

“I’d like someone for the night too.” Mundy said, and Lucien exhaled the air that he failed to transform into words.

“Fine.” Lucien stood up and started walking back home.

“Oi, wait.” Mundy jumped to his feet, his white shirt still crumpled in his hand.

“Oui?” The Frenchman stopped in the middle of the foliage, the distress still gnawing on him.

“Where are you goin’?”

“Well if you know a few places in town to find the company that you need, then I am only keeping you up and away from what you want. I shall go to sleep. I will tell Alexandre and Madeleine that this house is now yours too.”

“You idiot.” Mundy said and took the step that separated him from his former host, now housemate.

“Quoi?” Lucien failed to translate himself on the spur of the moment.

[What?]

“I don’t want to go to town or anythin’. I… I was meanin’ that maybe uh… I mean… I tend to get cold at night and uh… Hm.” Mundy frowned. “Y’know what? Forget it, it’s bloody ridiculous.”

“Non, please? What do you want?”

Mundy looked into Lucien’s light blue eyes only shimmering in the night.

“You asked me to stay with you, right?”

“Oui.”

“And it’s madness, right? I mean, we just met.”

“Yet we share more in common than I first thought, but oui.”

“Can I ask you somethin’ a bit… mad, too?”

“Pray do.”

Mundy dropped the shirt down and fiddled with his fingers awkwardly.

“Mundy…?”

“It’s a bit… weird. I mean, we just met - oh?” A gloved hand was warmly brushing Mundy’s cheek and he couldn’t help but close his eyes slowly and melt under the touch.

“Please.” Lucien insisted in a whisper.

And it gave him the courage, with his eyes nonetheless closed.

“Sleep with me tonight.” Mundy whispered with his hoarse voice and when he heard himself ask, he blushed and frowned, regretting it already. His hands hovered around the Frenchman’s waist.

“Avec plaisir.” Lucien pushed Mundy’s hands on his sides.

“What?” He opened his eyes and the sight of Lucien with half-lidded eyes made his guts melt further. And what a grin, how…?

“With pleasure.”

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy

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faedawayyy · 4 years

Text

next generation list. if i've removed a character you loved or really liked, i'm sorry! i just feel like i need a restart.

BRETT JACKSON, only son of dallas.

- intp - musician - heterosexual - moved from the springs to gold coast to be closer to ally - starting his singing career slowly - definitely still has financial struggles thanks to dallas fc: jack gilinsky >> ALLY, his girlfriend. very much in love with her. he’s moved academy’s so that they can work on their relationship. >> HALEY, ally’s sister. they’re good friends and brett feels responsible for her in a weird way. >> AMY, loaned money to him after finding out that he was broke, especially after quitting his job at sloan’s. however, he has no idea how he’s going to pay her back, especially from half way across the world. >> ROMAN, an old friend of his. he used to work at sloan’s and the two boys got closer but then brett moved away. they’re still really good friends and brett sees him as a little brother.

PETER CARMICHAEL, son and youngest child of mason and kendall

- entj - athlete - heterosexual - liberty academy, mason secretly paid for him to get in - long distance relationship with bianca - still kind of an asshole fc: neels visser >> BIANCA, his girlfriend. things have got tougher since they’re living on different continents and going to different universities. he still loves her but is starting to realise it isn’t as amazing and easy as he thought it was at gallagher. >> LOTTIE, a frenemy. he always knew of lottie but didn’t have much to do with her until they ended up in liberty together. he made a move on her while drunk at a party and she flat out rejected him. it’s definitely awkward now. >> VICTORIA, his sister. he can’t stand her. >> ADDY, his friend. peter has always felt bad about the treatment addy used to get with their friendship group and towards the end of high school, he always made an active effort to make her feel looked after and included. >> AMELIA knew that peter cheated his way into liberty and was going to get him kicked out, but he beat her too it. desperate for her not to have something over him, he found out about how she cheated her way into diamond bridge and they now go back and forth with blackmail.

FLEUR CARMICHAEL, daughter of disney and brody

- estj - model and designer - heterosexual - burgundy academy, dixie sabotaged her rosewell acceptance - her sister is her biggest rival but also best friend - plans to transfer to LA or paris fc: kendall jenner >> ROMAN is one of fleur’s best friends and she always had a crush on him. however, so does dixie and they’re VERY competitive for his attention. >> MADDIE is her best friend and roman’s ex girlfriend. fleur always tried to keep her feelings secret because she didn’t want to get in between the two of them. >> DIXIE is her twin sister. the two of them are so competitive and have always fought like sister’s do. the older they’ve grown, the worse it’s got. they’re constantly trying to outdo one another but weirdly enough, they’re also really good friends. >> LOUISA is one of her best friends but they have a very competitive friendship and get jealous of one another easily.

JUDAH CRUZ-MENDOZA, middle child of blake and christelle

- infp - actor and model - bisexual - st judes, he’s really proud of his parents/how they met - signed a contract with disney channel - he’s just came out as bisexual (male pref) to his family fc: booboo stewart >> AVERY is his ex-crush. judah was completely infatuated by avery and had his first experience with a guy with him. avery always kept it secret, though, which was fine. however, he now feels like he’s actively avoiding him and trying to distance himself which hurts. >> WHITNEY is his sister and probably the sibling he’s the closest with. he would have come out to her first and trusts her with everything. he’s definitely missing being as close to her because they’re getting their own identities and lives but he loves her all the same. >> AURORA is his best friend. the children of hensley, christelle and soraya had no choice but to grow up close and aurora is like an honorary sister to him. >> ELIJAH is a new love interest of his. elijah hasn’t come out yet and can be slightly homophobic while judah is freshly open about his sexuality and enjoying it, so even though there’re feelings there, it is definitely a bit messy.

THEA CRUZ-MENDOZA, oldest child of blake and christelle

- esfp - singer (vc: jhene aiko) - heterosexual - west ivys, she wanted to be close to family but not too close LOL - she’s like the mum when christelle’s not around. way too bossy with her siblings but is also kinda the blue print. she was a mischievous kid for sure. - a third year, she graduated from springs park a while ago fc: christina nadin >> CAM is a good friend of hers, that she definitely feels something for and he feels something for her too. neither of them have admitted it to themselves, let alone each other.

ETHAN HARWOOD, son of nate and imogen

- entj - athlete - heterosexual - liberty academy - he’s a fuckboy and still a fuckboy. some people peak in high school - he did - but he’s still riding out that peak. he’s also fallen out with jay, his old best friend. - addy’s ex; they still sometimes speak fc: xavier serrano >> ADDY is his ex-girlfriend. their relationship was quite manipulative and not good for either of them. he knows he still has a little bit of power over her though and really doesn’t want to see her move on. >> JAY is a frenemy. the two of them have started to drift and fight over the smallest of things. their friendship has quickly fallen apart and it’s clear they’re not the same as they were in high school. >> YOUI he’s lowkey been flirting with her for ages now and it’s only intensified since he and addy broke up, but it’s always been touchy since she’s addy’s old best friend.

KITTY-LEE HENSHAW, youngest daughter of natasha and anthony

- isfp - actress and model - lesbian - academia burgundy - she’s making a transfer to be closer to victoria, who she’s infatuated with - she transitioned at an early age and her whole family has always been accepting, there’s no secrets around it. - she has a tendency to get jealous fc: hunter schafer >> VICTORIA is her best friend and crush. kitty has had feelings for victoria for as long as she can remember. they’ve always been best friend’s but it’s always gone deeper than that for kitty. deep down, she knows victoria doesn’t feel the same but she’s going to keep trying. >> ADDY is a frenemy. kitty really doesn’t like addy and it’s purely because of the group she was in at gallagher. kitty has never clicked with the popular kids and would actively go out of her way to avoid them, so when victoria took a liking to addy at the end of high school, it threw her world upside-down a little and she’s definitely jealous.

ROWAN WEST, son of hensley and evan

- esfp - director and athlete - heterosexual - gold coast academy - he’s kind of like, reformed. he’s still not the softest but he’s definitely grown a lot since high school and the bad rep he got for himself post-ally. - always in trouble. always. he has the worst of both parents in him LOL fc: chase stokes >> MADDIE is his new love interest. he’s really invested in getting to know her even though they live quite far apart. he does his best to keep his past with ally a secret from her. >> DAPHNE is an old friend of his. they used to clash quite a lot but have grown to really like each other. >> ALLY is his ex-girlfriend. the two of them have a complicated history and that’s exactly where rowan wants her to stay - in his history. he realises where he went wrong with her but is ready to move on. the only problem is they go to the same school and both study sports, it’s only a matter of time before he has to confront her. >> HARLOW was a rebound ex-girlfriend. after ally, there was harlow. he feels bad for calling her a rebound but that’s exactly what she was. he just needed to feel *something* after the mess and poor harlow was the first in-line. >>WHITNEY AND AURORA are his childhood friends.

NICOLAS CASTILLO-HUGES, only son of natalie and ezra

- intj - writer (for screen) - bisexual - diamond bridge academy - very bright and intuitive. despite the difficulties ezra and natalie went through raising him, he loves them both and thinks very highly of them. he’s very focused on his dreams. fc: rome flynn

YASMINE HERNANDEZ, daughter of yulia

- infp - singer/actress - bisexual - liberty academy - yulia became infamous for being a home-wrecker and sleeping with lots of influential men when she left st judes. she quickly gained a bad reputation and people disregarded her talent because she was a ‘gold digger’. yasmine is often treated the same by students her age. fc: selena gomez >> LOTTIE is her best friend. they met on the first day of liberty and are roommates. yasmine definitely clings to lottie and is one of the only friends she trusts due to her anxiety. >> NOAH has an unrequited crush on her. yasmine finds it hard to trust people and is nervous with any form of romantic attention. even though noah’s crush is innocent and she likes him as a friend, she’s not sure how she feels about him yet.

CALLIE CASTILLO, oldest daughter of maria

- estj - model - heterosexual - st judes academy - she’s getting used to not having her former clique around her and doesn’t really know what to do now that her popularity hasn’t translated over into university. she’s really struggling tbh fc: sofia jamora >> CARTER is her boyfriend. for a long time, she still had feelings for peter - his younger brother - but she’s trying so hard to push those aside and focus on them. he’s always been understanding of her, no matter how bitchy she gets. >> BIANCA AND YOUI are her best friends. even though they’re all doing their own things, she considers those two her best friends and it’s been that way since the beginning of high school. >> ADDY is a frenemy. callie used to relentlessly bully addy throughout high school and she still treats her like a bit of an outsider. she lowkey hates seeing addy thriving in LA while she’s still stuck in her hometown. >> PETER C is her ex boyfriend. they’re messy as heck and she’s still not quite over the fact he ultimate chose aurora, her distant cousin.

TAMMY CASTILLO, youngest daughter of maria

- enfp - singer (rosalia) - bisexual (female pref) - gold coast academy - sick of living in calie’s shadow, she’s branched out to get an identity all of her own. she’s your typical party girl type. fc: val mercado >> ALLY is her best friend. they’ve got really close at gold coast and are practically inseparable. >> they were in a long term relationship until he found out that he was a father. this really hurt her and she hasn’t forgiven him, despite still being in love with him.

DELILAH CALLOWAY, daughter of eloise

- istj - actress - bicurious - wilow house academy - she’s the opposite of eloise. eloise let herself be pushed around by her sisters and forgotten about to an extent. delilah has made it clear that she’ll be the trailblazer for the ‘calloways’ in this generation and will happily walk all over her cousins if she has to. fc: sommer ray >> AALIYAH is her best friend. they both met at willow house and delilah took a shine to her confidence. the girls really got along well and they’ve also started to hook up. delilah is bicurious and unsure of her sexuality so relies a lot on aliyah to take the lead. >> ADDY is her cousin. they never grew up in one anothers lives but delilah has always known of her aunts and cousins. the girls have reunited through the talent academy competition and are getting to know each other.

AIDEN NILSEN, son of kristofer - REVAMPED bc i feel like he only existed as haley’s on/off bf.

- infj - model - bisexual - st judes - kristofer moved the family out to los angeles, so aiden is now based there. he still has an incredibly addictive personality. after haley moved out to gold coast, he kind of wiped his hands of her from the time being and has taken on a more artsy/friendly persona but that doesn’t mean he is. fc: willy cartier

>> HALEY is his on-again and off-again girlfriend. their relationship is toxic and when he found out she transferred to gold coast, he’s mainly just looking to rub her face in the fact he’s not with her anymore.

CHESTER JACKSON, son of margo

- esfp - actor - bisexual - blossom bell - he has the same chaotic energy that margo has, but he’s not as much of an asshole :’) he just loves the attention. he was diagnosed with ADHD quite late in life but at this point, he can’t even put it down to that. he went to gallagher and got kicked out in his third year so he probably hasn’t been around for a bit. fc: dylan o’brien >> DIXIE AND FLEUR are family friends. he’s been good friends with dixie for a while and is like a brother figure to her.

SABRINA HUGHES, daughter of ezra

- infp - singer/actress - bisexual - burgundy academy - she was never the cool girl in high school and has always struggled to find her place in social settings. she’s trying to grow her confidence and make an identity for herself but she does get jealous when friends and people close to her get more attention or something that she wanted. fc: halle bailey (i’ll write more when i cbb)

>> BRIELLE is her girlfriend. the two of them are trying to balance a healthy relationship and achieve their own personal dreams.

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rumbelleshowdown · 4 years

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Author: Tick-tock Dearie

Prompt: Not what I meant.

Group: C

The Setup

“You and I both know that is not what I meant!” The rising pitch of his darling wife’s Aussie accent was a sure indicator of trouble, and Mr. Gold found himself feeling a bit smug that, for once, it wasn’t directed at him. Of course, that left only one other person who could possibly be the subject of Belle’s righteous ire, and he wondered what sort of mischief their son had been getting up to.

“But mooommmm…” Gideon’s multisyllabic whine carried down the stairs.

Gold shook his head, grimacing. It was a rookie mistake. Belle was far too savvy, and had spent far too many years dealing with Rumplestiltskin himself, to be swayed by novice tactics. Puppy-dog eyes, whining, and foot stomping were powerless to sway her, and their son knew that as well as he did. Frankly, he expected more from the offspring of a master manipulator (thank you very much) and a mother who was too clever by half -- an observation made with nothing but respect and adoration.

“You prooomisssed!” Gideon cajoled. “You said I could choose anything I wanted to do if I got an A on the math test!”

“Anything in Storybrooke, Gideon!” Belle retorted, clearly exasperated. “Miniature golfing at the Enchanted Forest Cafe, or go-karts at Storybook Village and a trip to Any Given Sundae afterwards…”

“But we do those things all the time!” He protested, working up a truly petulant tone that only meant Belle would dig her heels in harder. She would never deign to give in when the boy wasn't even bothering to persuade her with impeccable logic or the signature Gold charm. “I thought I could pick something extra special!”

“Oh, you’re being extra alright!”

The two of them came clattering down the stairs, still sniping, and Gold realized it was only a matter of time until they would drag him into the argument. Belle would rightly expect backup, and Gideon would turn those limpid, doe-eyes on him, eyes that reminded him so much of Baelfire, and he would be lost -- caught between Scylla and Charybdis, for certain. Ducking quickly into the kitchen bought him time and distance.

He wondered what Gideon had asked to do. Knowing his son’s flair for the dramatic, it was probably a dirigible ride in the Land of Untold Stories, reindeer sledding in Arendelle, or something equally outrageous. However, Belle’s refusal to honor what was clearly a deal -- a Gold standard -- was a serious matter, and he wondered if perhaps there was more to this little mystery than met the eye.

He intended to find out.

“Rumple…” Belle stormed into the family room, expecting to find him in his favorite chair with a book and a glass of whisky, his usual Saturday afternoon diversion. Gold peered from the kitchen, watching. “Rumple! I need you to back me up here. Rumple?”

“Papa!” Gideon followed close on her heels, arms flapping wildly. He pulled up short, nearly colliding with his mother. “Papa, Mum is being totally unfair!”

“Gideon Rumplestiltskin Gold!” Belle exclaimed, spinning to face her towering son with chin raised and arms akimbo, fists planted firmly on her hips. Her beautiful blue eyes flashed dangerously, and watching her nostrils flare in annoyance sent a particular thrill straight to Gold’s groin. Gods have mercy, but she was magnificent. He resisted the overwhelming urge to drag her upstairs and spend the rest of the afternoon with the stereo cranked up and their bedroom door locked. Now is not the time, Gold.

“I’m not being unfair. You are taking advantage of the situation, and I really don’t appreciate your tone, young man.”

Gideon stood with shoulders hunched, hands thrust into his pockets. He scuffed at the carpet with the toe of his shoe in the most classic, woefully aggrieved, pre-teen stance. Gold could tell he was fighting back the urge to roll his eyes. A wise choice, he thought, since the alternative would surely result in sudden death -- or worse.

Deciding the boy didn’t stand a chance without his help, Gold took a deep breath, adjusted his trousers, and strolled leisurely from the kitchen. He remembered to feign surprise at finding his wife and son at odds in his normally peaceful home.

“Gideon! Belle!” Pretending he hadn’t heard a thing, he leaned in to give Belle a chaste kiss, and reached over to tousle his son’s hair. Belle crossed her arms, and Gideon ducked away, scowling, but Gold steadfastly refused to acknowledge the obvious standoff.

“How are my two favorite people?” He inquired, beaming innocently at them.

They sprang immediately to action, gesticulating wildly and talking over each other in their haste to garner his support.

“Mum said we can do anything I want if I got an A on my math test…”

“Gideon is being completely over the top here... It’s a math test, not the whole quarter grade…”

“Now she says we can’t go to the Apex in Boston to play Laser Tag! I’ve been wanting to go for sooooo long, but she always says no! It’s not fair!”

“Gideon, it’s a four hour drive!” His wife’s exasperated tone belied the calm reason she was attempting to exude. Belle paced to the window and back, fidgeting with trinkets on the mantelpiece, moving them about uselessly, and Gold felt a creeping suspicion steal over him.

“We had a deal!”

Gold noticed how his wife’s eyes wouldn’t exactly meet his while she chewed nervously on her bottom lip, two of her most obvious tells. He’d spent a lifetime sussing out desperate souls, and he knew one when he saw one. In a flash of understanding, he realized why Belle was refusing to take Gideon to Boston for a simple afternoon of Laser Tag -- and it had nothing at all to do with the length of the drive.

His darling Belle was a terrible shot.

Belle, his lovely wife, beloved mother of his child, was nothing if not ruthlessly, mercilessly competitive. Her suggestion of mini-golf would have given her a clear advantage, being as she was damn good at mini-golf, better than either he or Gid. Even go-karting, though Gideon had the brash advantage of youth, his mother was cutthroat. Gold himself had taught her to drive, and he’d seen her cut off old ladies in downtown Boston without a backward glance. Belle might pretend to be a magnanimous winner, especially to support Gideon, always encouraging and helping him improve, but Gold knew how badly it got her hackles up to lose at anything.

Laser tag was different. Gold was a crack shot, and he’d been teaching Gideon to shoot everything from BB guns to crossbows since he was a tyke. Belle would have trouble hitting the broad side of a barn with a rocket launcher.

Gold smirked inwardly, deciding this was a perfect time for payback over last weekend’s family Scrabble debacle. He’d be doing the laundry and the dishes for two whole weeks because of a stupid word he was still pretty sure she had made up. Milver. Not that he minded doing chores -- it was the principal of the thing.

“Oh? Well, I have some business in Boston,” Gold offered, waving a nonchalant hand. He willfully ignored the tiny stamp of his wife’s foot, and the almost imperceptible narrowing of her eyes. “We’ll take a leisurely drive down the coast Friday after school. I’m certain I can arrange to conduct my business on Saturday morning, be done by noon, and have the rest of the weekend for family adventure. Laser tag and all. How does that sound?”

He gave Gideon a wickedly conspiratorial grin that his son returned eagerly, nodding.

“Please, Mum?” He was nearly bouncing on his toes. “Papa agrees!”

Belle drummed her fingers on the mantel, and tiny fingers of dread danced up his spine to tickle the back of his neck. He knew he would pay dearly for this egregious breach of parental unity, but he was already busy hatching a plan to beat both his wife and the son who was a natural born scholar and athlete. At twelve, Gideon was already a full inch taller than him and quickly outstripping him at everything. Truly, Gold couldn’t be prouder of Gideon or his precious, wee family, but then again, neither would he pass up an opportunity to beat their sorry arses in a little friendly, family competition.

“Maybe I had plans this weekend, darling,” Belle bit off through clenched teeth, glaring daggers at him.

“Oh, come on, sweetheart.” He gave his wife a similarly conspiratorial grin and a wink, assuring her he had a plan to help her win. “A deal’s a deal. And we Golds always honor our deals. Right?”

Belle’s lips quirked into a reluctant smile, and she gave him an appraising look before nodding. “Very well, if your father is willing to make a weekend of it…”

Their son began dancing around, whooping like a banshee, and Gold caught Belle’s tiny, secretive smile just before she started giggling and hugging Gideon.

#rumbelle showdown 2020 #rumbelle fic #Round One entry #author: tick-tock dearie

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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New British comedy TV series from 2020: BBC, Channel 4, Sky, Dave, Amazon, Netflix

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

2020 in British TV comedy brought us Maisie Williams as a kickass survivalist in a pickle, and a new parenting comedy from the hugely talented Simon Blackwell and Chris Addison starring Martin Freeman.

To add to that, there was also a fresh batch of comedians playing exaggerated versions of themselves in self-penned sitcoms, including Katherine Ryan, Mae Martin, Sara Pascoe, Kayleigh Llewellyn, Lucy Beaumont and Jon Richardson.

Here’s the skinny on all those new shows and more. Here’s what arrived in 2019, and here are the new British TV dramas that arrived in 2020.

Breeders

After their excellent 2014 relationship comedy Trying Again, Chris Addison and Simon Blackwell (Veep, The Thick Of It) teamed up on a new series, this time about the trials of parenthood. Martin Freeman and Daisy Haggard played parents in this ten-part half-hour comedy, a co-production between Sky in the UK and FX in the US. Watch the first trailer here.

Bumps

Available to stream on BBC iPlayer

A Comedy Playhouse commission for BBC One, Bumps comes from Psychobitches and Tracey Ullman’s Show writer-actor Lucy Montgomery (pictured) and The Life Of Rock With Brian Pern‘s Rhys Thomas. The half-hour pilot is a modern family comedy that centres on Amanda Redman’s character Anita, a divorcee in her sixties with two grown-up kids, who decides to have a third baby with the help of an egg and sperm donor. Playing Anita’s daughter Joanne is Lisa McGrillis (behind the brilliantly dim and tactless but very sweet Kelly on Mum), who discovers she’s pregnant at the same time as her mother.

Code 404

After 2019’s pilot, Sky ordered six episodes of this sci-fi comedy starring Daniel Mays (Line Of Duty, Vera Drake) and Stephen Graham (Boardwalk Empire, The Virtues), written by Mongrels and Not Going Out’s Daniel Peak. It’s a buddy cop drama set in the near future, which sees crime-fighting duo DI John Major (Mays) and DI Roy Carver (Graham) first separated, then reunited thanks to the wonders of modern science. Series two is on its way.

Feel Good

Stand-up Mae Martin co-wrote her autobiographically inspired six-episode series with Joe Hampson, which formerly went by the working title Mae and George and is now called Feel Good. It aired on E4 in the UK and Netflix around the world, and follows Martin’s life as a comedian and recovering addict, and the complications of her new relationship with girlfriend George. Friends’ Lisa Kudrow guest stars. A second series is on the way.

Hitmen

Comedy double act Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins get in on the Killing Eve game as contract killers in this new Sky series. Unlike Villanelle though, these two are decidedly unsmooth operators. Their hits are, according to the press release, “inevitably derailed by incompetence, bickering, and inane antics.” Sherlock’s Amanda Abbington co-stars, along with Francis Barber and Johnny Vegas. Series two is on the way.

In My Skin

Kayleigh Llewellyn’s autobiographically inspired 2018 pilot is now a four-part comedy series for the BBC. It’s the raw but ultimately uplifting story of teenager Bethan’s attempts to conceal from her schoolfriends a chaotic homelife with a mother sectioned in a mental health facility and a dad in the Hell’s Angels. Here’s a clip from the Comedy Slice to whet your appetite.

Intelligence

Available to stream on Sky and NOW TV

Last year saw Rob Lowe in Lincolnshire, now prepare for David Schwimmer in Cheltenham. The Friends actor and director starring in a six-part Sky One comedy as a “maverick NSA agent” working in the UK’s Government Communications Headquarters. He’s joined by series writer Nick Mohammed, in the role of an inept computer analyst tasked with tackling cyber-crime. Series two is on the way.

Kate And Koji

Filmed in Herne Bay, Kent, this six-episode ITV comedy stars Brenda Blethyn as Kate, the owner of a seaside café who strikes up a friendship with asylum seeker Koji, played by Jimmy Akingbola. Those two are joined by The Inbetweeners’ Blake Harrison, playing Kate’s nephew, and Meera Syal as the local GP in a timely modern story with a heart.

King Gary

Available to stream on BBC iPlayer

Murder In Successville and Action Team’s Tom Davis and James De Frond teamed up again to write and direct prime time BBC One sitcom King Gary, which debuted in 2020 and was swiftly recommissioned for a second series. You may have caught the pilot episode, which aired over Christmas 2018, introducing Davis’ character – London builder Gary King, a man-child who loves his family, his suburban community, and really loves a B.B.Q – his parents played by The Fast Show’s Simon Day and Doctor Who’s Camille Coduri, and his unforgettable wife Terri, played by the very funny Laura Checkley.

Meet The Richardsons

Airing on Dave and available to stream weekly on UK TV Play

Married comedians Jon Richardson and Lucy Beaumont starred as heightened versions of themselves in Meet The Richardsons for Dave, written by Beaumont and Car Share’s Tim Reid. Inspired by Beaumont’s appearances on Richardsons’ Ultimate Worrier series for Dave, the series comically documents the couple’s parenting and relationship woes.

Mister Winner

Following a successful Comedy Playhouse pilot, Spencer Jones (Upstart Crow) returned as the hapless Leslie Winner for a six-episode series on BBC One. Joining Jones will be Shaun Williamson and Lucy Pearman, in a loveable comedy about “an eternally optimistic klutz with his heart in the right place”. If you’ve yet to see Jones’ excellent BBC iPlayer short series The Mind Of Herbert Clunkerdunk, get involved without delay.

My Left Nut

Available to stream on BBC iPlayer

Coming to BBC Three is an autobiographically inspired three-part comedy-drama from Irish writers Michael Patrick and Oisin Kearney, adapted from their acclaimed stage play. Starring Sinead Keenan (Little Boy Blue, Being Human) with newcomer Nathan Quinn-O’Rawe, it’s the story of a Belfast teenager who discovers a lump on his testicle but finds himself unable to tell those around him. A relatable, entertaining teen comedy with an important healthcare message.

Out of Her Mind

An established name on screen and the live circuit, comedian Sara Pascoe is the latest comic to write and star in her own sitcom (joining the ranks of Roisin Conaty, Aisling Bea, Josh Widdicombe and more). Her as-yet untitled series is being produced for BBC Two by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s production company, Stolen Picture. It’s about “family, relationships and biology,” according to the press release, and will combine eccentric characters with surreal interludes and factual segments. Read about the best Netflix stand-up specials here.

Sandylands

Following on from 2019’s Isle of Wight-set family comedy The Cockfields, Gold has commissioned a second three-part original sitcom. This one’s also set on the UK coast, and tells the story of a successful Londoner who returns to her home town and reconnects with old friends and old crushes when her local businessman father disappears at sea. Sanjeev Bhaskar, David Walliams, Sophie Thompson, Hugh Bonneville and Natalie Dew star.

Semi-Detached

The pilot episode for comedy Semi-Detached, about a hapless fortysomething aired in January 2019, followed by a full series. It was written by actors David Crow and Oliver Maltman and boasted a strong comedy cast including Lee Mack, Ellie White, Samantha Spiro, Clive Russell and Patrick Baladi. The twist with this one is that all the action unfurls in real time.

The Duchess

In addition to her Netflix stand-up specials, comedian Katherine Ryan made a six-part autobiographical comedy for the streaming service. Though a familiar face on screen, this marks the first scripted series Ryan has written and executive-produced. In it, she plays “a fashionable disruptive single mother living in London”, inspired by Ryan’s own experience raising her daughter in the capital after moving here from her native Canada.

The First Team

Iain Morris and Damon Beesley, aka The Inbetweeners creators, have written a six-part half-hour sitcom for BBC Two. Formerly under the working title of Afternoons, it’s now called The First Team and details the off-pitch adventures of three Premier League footballers playing for a fictional side, “three young men who just happen to have a very stressful job in the public eye,” according to the writers. The cast includes Arrested Development‘s Will Arnett as the team’s eccentric American chairman, alongside Theo Barklam Biggs, Shaquille Ali-Yebuah, Jack McMullen, Jake Short and Chris Geere.

The Kemps: All True

Remember how much everybody loved that Bros doc? Well now BBC Four comedy is planning to capture that same lightning in a bottle with mockumentary The Kemps: All True, following the travails of another pair of pop star brothers in Spandau Ballet’s Gary and Martin Kemp. The one-off comedy from Brian Pern‘s Rhys Thomas will track the brothers as they record a new studio album. Read more about it here at the BBC.

The Trouble With Maggie Cole

Stream episodes weekly on ITV Hub

Commissioned in March 2019 by ITV under the working title Glass Houses is a six-part hour-long comedy series starring Dawn French, Mark Heap, Julie Hesmondhalgh, Vicki Pepperdine and more. It’s about the aftermath of a loose-lipped radio interview with French’s Maggie, the village gossip who spills her neighbours’ secrets on air. It comes written by Shameless and Benidorm’s Mark Brotherhood and aired on ITV1 in March.

Truth Seekers

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s latest collaboration is a comedy horror series for Amazon Prime Video. Filming began in September 2019 on Truth Seekers, which follows a group of paranormal investigator hobbyists who film their ghost sighting escapades for the online community, and stumble into some very strange business that could end life as we know it. There’s a great comedy cast including Pegg and Frost, including Susan Wokoma, Julian Barratt, Samson Kayo, Morgana Robinson, Kate Nash, Kevin Eldon and Malcolm McDowell.

Two Weeks To Live

Written by Cheat’s Gaby Hull, this six-episode Sky comedy is the story of misfit Kim, a young girl raised to survive in the wilderness, who re-enters society on a secret mission to honour her dead father’s memory. Game of Thrones’ Maisie Williams plays Kim, who becomes entangled in a prank-gone-wrong plot involving gangsters, a bag of cash and the police. With Kim’s survival skills, don’t expect her to come quietly…

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Here are all the forthcoming British TV dramas on their way in 2020.

The post New British comedy TV series from 2020: BBC, Channel 4, Sky, Dave, Amazon, Netflix appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/35wmAsP

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funthingsfortoddlers · 2 years

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Find Your Next Toddler Adventure INSIDE … https://mailchi.mp/25028f853c76/find-your-next-toddler-adventure-in-may-2022 #toddleractivities #toddleractivity #toddlerapproved #toddleressentials #toddlereats #toddlerfun #toddlerfuntime #toddlergroups #toddlerhood #toddlerinfluencer #toddlerlifestyle #toddlerliferocks #toddlerlife #toddleradventure #toddlermum #toddlermummy #toddlerplay #toddlertime #goldcoastmums #goldcoastmumsandbubs #toddleroutings #funthingsfortoddlers #toddlerattractions

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insanityclause · 5 years

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Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

A Director Making His Mark in More Ways Than One

LONDON — The director Jamie Lloyd was giving me a tour of his tattoos. Not the Pegasus on his chest or the skeleton astronaut floating on his back, though he gamely described those, but the onyx-inked adornments that cover his arms and hands, that wreathe his neck, that wrap around his shaved head.

When I asked about the dragon at his throat, he told me it had been “one of the ones that hurt the least,” then pointed to the flame-licked skulls on either side of his neck: his “covert way,” he said, of representing drama’s traditional emblems for comedy and tragedy.

“I thought maybe it’d be a little bit tacky to have theater masks on my neck,” he added, a laugh bubbling up, and it’s true: His dragon would have eaten them for lunch.

It was early December, and we were in a lounge beneath the Playhouse Theater, where Lloyd’s West End production of “Cyrano de Bergerac,” starring James McAvoy in a skintight puffer jacket and his own regular-size nose, would soon open to packed houses and critical praise.

Running through Feb. 29, and arriving on cinema screens Feb. 20 in a National Theater Live broadcast, “Cyrano” — newly adapted by Martin Crimp, and positing its hero as a scrappy spoken-word wonder — capped a year that saw Lloyd celebrated on both sides of the Atlantic.

In London last summer, his outdoor hit “Evita” traded conventional glamour for sexy grit, while his radical reinterpretation of Harold Pinter’s “Betrayal,” starring Tom Hiddleston, was hailed first in the West End, then on Broadway. Ben Brantley, reviewing “Betrayal” in The New York Times, called it “one of those rare shows I seem destined to think about forever.”

When Time Out London ranked the best theater of 2019, it gave the top spot jointly to all three Lloyd productions, saying that he “has had a year that some of his peers might trade their entire careers for.”

Lloyd, who is 39, did not spring from the same mold as many of those peers. There was for him, he says, no youthful aha moment of watching Derek Jacobi onstage and divining that directing was his path. Epiphanies like that belonged to other kids, the ones who could afford the tickets.

If there is a standard background for a London theater director — and Lloyd would argue that certainly there used to be — that isn’t where he came from, growing up working class on the south coast of England, in Margaret Thatcher’s Britain.

The first time I laid eyes on him, chatting in the Playhouse lobby after a preview of “Cyrano,” he was the picture of working-class flair — the gold pirate hoops, the pink and black T-shirt, the belt cinching high-waisted pants.

He looks nothing like your typical West End director. Which of course is precisely the point.

What’s underneath

“It’s quite often said of him,” McAvoy observed by phone, once the reviews were in, “that he strips things away or he tries to take classical works and turn them on their head. I think he’s always just trying to tell the story in the clearest and most exhilarating way possible.”

The “X-Men” star, who put the number of times he’s worked with Lloyd in the past decade at a “gazillion,” calls theirs “probably one of the most defining relationships that I’ve had in my career.”

Yet Lloyd himself is on board with the notion that his assertively contemporary stagings pare back stifling layers of performance history to lay bare what’s underneath.

Like the tiger and dragons that he had emblazoned on his head just last May, though, the unembellished nature of his shows — as minimalist in their way as his tattoos are the opposite — is a relatively recent development.

Lloyd’s first “Cyrano de Bergerac,” starring Douglas Hodge in 2012, was also his Broadway debut. It was, he said, “absolutely the ‘Cyrano’ that you would expect,” with the fake nose, the hat, the plume, the sword-fighting.

There is, granted, sword-fighting in the new one — but the audience has to imagine the swords.

Lloyd’s productions, including a lauded revival of Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine’s “Passion” in 2010, long marked him as a hot young director on the rise. But he sees in some of his previous work a noisy tendency toward idea overload.

The pivot point came in 2018, with a season that the Jamie Lloyd Company — which he formed seven years ago with the commercial producing powerhouse Ambassador Theater Group — devoted to the short works of Harold Pinter. The playwright’s distillation of language forced Lloyd to match it with his staging.

That immersion led to what the director Michael Grandage — one of Lloyd’s early champions, who tapped him at 27 to be his associate director at the Donmar Warehouse — called Lloyd’s “absolute masterpiece.”

“I had quite a lot of ambition to do a production of ‘Betrayal’ in my life,” Grandage said. “And then when I saw Jamie’s, I thought, ‘Right, that’s it. I don’t ever, ever want to direct this play.’ Because that’s, for me, the perfect production.”

Playing dress-up

Charm is a ready currency in the theater, but Lloyd’s is disarming; he seems simply to be being himself, without veneer. Like when I fact-checked something I’d read by asking whether he was a vegan.

“Lapsed vegan,” he confessed immediately, with a tinge of guilt about eating eggs again.

Pay no attention to any tough-guy vibe in photos of him; do not be alarmed by the sharp-toothed cat on the back of his head. In conversation, Lloyd comes across as thoughtful and unassuming, with an animated humor that makes him fun company. If he speaks at the speed of someone with no time to waste, he balances that with focused attentiveness.

His father, Ray, was a truck driver. His mother, Joy (whose name is tattooed on his right forearm, near the elbow), cleaned houses, took in ironing and ran a costume-rental shop, where young Jamie would sneak in to dress up as the children’s cartoon character Rainbow Brite.

“It’s very embarrassing,” he said, squelching a laugh.

Seeing professional theater wasn’t an option then for Lloyd, whose grown-up passion for expanding audience access — one of the things he has made himself known for in the West End — grew out of that exclusion. His company has set aside 15,000 free and 15,000 £15 tickets for its current, characteristically starry three-show season, which will also include Emilia Clarke in “The Seagull” and Jessica Chastain in “A Doll’s House.” At the 786-seat Playhouse, that adds up to just over 38 full houses.

Lloyd, who was studying acting at the Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts when he decided he wanted to direct, found his way to theater as a child by acting in school shows and local amateur productions. Twice he was cast as a monkey; in “The Wizard of Oz,” thrillingly, he got to fly.

The details of his early days have always been colorful — like having a clown as his first stepfather, who performed at children’s parties under the stage name Uncle Funny. But Lloyd is quick to acknowledge the darkness lurking there.

“It sounds a little bit like some dodgy film, because he was actually a really violent man,” he said. “And there were times where he was very physically abusive to my mum. There was a sort of atmosphere of violence in that house that was really uneasy. And yet masked with this literal makeup, but also this sense of trying to entertain people whilst enacting terrible brutality behind the scenes.”

This is where he locates his own connection to Pinter’s work.

“A lot of that is that the violence is beneath the surface,” he said. “And on the top there is this sort of, what I call a kind of topspin, a layer of cover-up.”

Long relationships

Lloyd was still at drama school when he staged a production of Lapine and William Finn’s “Falsettoland” that won a prize: assistant directing a show at the Bush Theater in London. Based on that, Trevor Nunn hired him, at 22, to be his assistant director on “Anything Goes” in the West End — a job he did so well that Grandage got word of it and hired him to assist on “Guys and Dolls.” While Lloyd was doing that, he also began directing in his own right.

The costume and set designer Soutra Gilmour, who has been a constant with Lloyd since he cold-called her for his first professional production, Pinter’s “The Caretaker,” said theirs is an easy relationship, with a “symbiotic transference of ideas.” Even their creative aesthetics have evolved in sync.

“We’ve actually never fallen out in 13 years,” she said over mint tea on a trip to New York last month, just before “Betrayal” closed. “Never! I don’t even know how we would fall out.”

Of course, the one time she tried to decline a Lloyd project five years ago, because its tech rehearsals coincided with the due date for her son’s birth, he told her there was no one else he wanted to work with. So she did the show, warning that at some point she would have to leave. Now, she says, he understands that she won’t sit through endless evening previews, because she needs to go home to her child.

Lloyd and his wife, the actress Suzie Toase (whose name is tattooed on one of his arms), home-school their own three boys (whose names are tattooed on the other). Their eldest, 13-year-old Lewin, is an actor who recently played one of the principal characters, the heroine’s irresistible best friend, on the HBO and BBC One series “His Dark Materials,” whose cast boasts McAvoy as well.

Enter the child

Lloyd’s interpretation of “Betrayal,” a 1978 play that recounts a seven-year affair, imbued it with a distinctly non-’70s awareness of the fragility of family — the notion that children are the bystanders harmed when a marriage is tossed away.

Its gasp-inducing moment came with the entrance of a character Pinter wrote to be mentioned but not seen: the small daughter of the couple whose relationship is imperiled. In putting her onstage, Lloyd didn’t touch the text; it was a simple, wordless role. With it, he altered the resonance of the play.

To me, it seemed logical that Lloyd’s production would have been informed by his experience as a husband and father — and maybe also as a child in a splintering family. How old had he been, anyway, when his parents split up?

“Five,” Lloyd said. “The same age as the character would be.” He paused. “Oh God, yeah, fascinating. I’d not thought about that. Exactly the same age.”

If that fact was of more than intellectual interest to him, he didn’t let on. He volunteered a memory, though — of being a little one “amongst these kind of big giants, and I guess what we can now see as the mess of their lives.”

Blazer-free

Doing “Betrayal” in New York, Lloyd was struck by how eager Americans were to chat about his tattoos. Still, he told me after I texted him a follow-up question about them, he hadn’t expected his appearance to be such a talking point in this story.

It’s not just idle curiosity. It’s about what the tattoos signify in a field where, in Britain as in the United States, the top directors tend to have grown up very comfortably. It’s about who is welcome in a particular space, and who gets to be themselves there.

For a long time after Lloyd started working in the theater, he wore a blazer every day: a conscious attempt to conform in an industry where he felt a nagging sense of difference.

“Every other director at the time was from an Oxbridge background,” he said, “and looked and sounded a particular way. I spent a long time pretending to be like them.”

It was a performance of sorts, with a costume he donned for the role.

It was only about seven or eight years ago — around the time he left the Donmar and started putting together his own company — that he stopped worrying about what people might think if he looked the way he wanted.

“My dad had tattoos” was the first thing he said when I asked him about his own.

“I guess it’s partly getting older,” he mused, “but it’s just sort of going, ‘You can’t pretend to be someone. You’ve got to be who you really are, in every way.’”

The tattoos that have gradually transformed him are from a different aesthetic universe than his recent work onstage. Yet the impulse, somehow, is the same.

In shedding the blazer, in inking his skin, Lloyd has peeled back layers of imposed convention to show who’s underneath.

And should you spot him at the theater, where he is hard to miss, you’ll notice that he looks just like himself.

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byeagra · 5 years

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how to write australia!

australia is kind of a weird place. i think because a lot of people haven’t been to or seen the “real” australia, that they tend to not read about it. which should totally change, since australia is literally a goldmine of really “aesthetic” places and ambiences

* i talk about queensland a lot in this, because you guessed it, i’m a queenslander.

where things are

lots of desert out west. people are always like “omg desert!” but it’s more in the center of the land. places like western queensland, the northern territory, northern south australia and western australia will have the stereotypical red dirt that you’re looking for.

out in the desert there’s a lot of nothing. towns with 100 people, stuff like that. there’ll most likely be a pub, maybe a couple of houses. that’s it really. out in western queensland, there’s some “tourist” towns, like longreach (qantas museum) and winton (dinosaur shit), but if you’re going there, expect a lot of dirt and dead trees

a lot of people live on the coast. especially the east coast. it’s expected that 85% of the population live within 50km of the coast, so beach holidays are pretty common.

a not lot of people live in the cities for being cities, but our cities tend to be pretty big in space. like in queensland’s capital, brisbane, there’s a population of 2 million, but that’s 15,826 km² aka a huge space for legit a tiny population

towns are really spaced out. lots of suburbs in towns.

towns are really spaced out from each other. like there’s rest stops that are called ‘towns’ but they’re definitely rest stops. there might be a service station (gas station) but that’s it. between my town and the next town in the 10,000′s, there’s a 3/4 hour drive.

towns like mine

my town is a “small town” even though it’s not that small. we ain’t brisbane.

no diners. whatsoever. we haave restaurants, takeaway (both chain and local) and hipster local coffee places. take your pick.

lot’s of coal miners. just throughout australia even. a lot of them do ‘fifo’ work (fly in, fly out), where they live in a city, but fly out to the mines on weekdays. it’s not weird for one of your parent’s to be away during the week.

my town is indeed a mining town. shit was great during ‘the mining boom’ but now it’s the mining bust and there’s big expensive houses with no one to buy them.

we’re kind of near the great barrier reef, but not close enough to profit from it lol. it’s not a tourist town.

it’s not an “oh i can walk to my friend’s house” town. i can walk to one of my friend’s houses. other times we just drive.

“the bush”

the bush is hot. it’s hot as fuck and it’s not fun 90% of the time.

the other 10% is fucking around in the bush. which is fun.

chances are that a person in your family or a family friend has owned property out in woop-woop and you’ve gone and fucked around in the bush.

lots of little creeks everywhere. if you find a creek, good on you, gold star, don’t drink from it.

my cousins and i once went crabbing, bogged our buggy, walked like 5km home, went to look for firewood in said buggy and rolled it all in the same afternoon. easter saturday.

there are miles and miles of actually nothing. literally nothing at all. if you get lost. there’s a high chance you won’t be found again.

there’s a lot of cane farming in queensland. lots of cane farms and sugar mills. i remember driving to cairns once, and seeing the steam from a sugar mill off in the distance. it was the dead of night and there was so much steam i legit thought there was a fire.

there’s ruins in the bush. lots of old cars and sheds of random shit that have rusted away.

trees aren’t lush and green. it’s not a forest. they’re barky, shredded trees. more grey than green.

climate

it’s really hot for like 8 months of the year. the other four are pretty chill.

when we say it’s hot. it’s hot like you can’t imagine. it’s not just hot, it’s humid. the air is so sticky and thick and your clothes will stick to you. there’s been days with 99% humidity. come on. that is RAIN.

we get good breeze here because we’re on the coast. out west it’s hellfire. but they’re used to it i guess lol.

no snow sorry eek. except in ski resorts like hotham, thredbo, falls creek, places like that.

school

we wear uniforms. like school uniforms. they’re not cute. they’re super dorky and everyone and their dog gets their grandma to take their skirts up.

“no hat, no play” headass.

we don’t have cafeterias. bring your own fucking lunch. we do have tuckshop though. you can buy lunch or snacks from there for money. some of my childhood faves:

choccy milk

chicken gougons (chicken chippies but they sounded fancy)

chicken noodles

we got a slushie machine in grade 4. it was legendary.

4 pieces of red licorice for 20c???? bargain.

we have grades! normally it goes kindergarden (kindy), prep and then grades 1-12

we get an ATAR instead of a gpa or whatever the fuck. it’s a score from 0.05 (ur fucked lol) and 99.95 (ur a doctor).

on facebook you’ll find heaps of “hsc discussion group 2020/2019″ groups. yeah some people post notes, some people offer tutoring and most people post memes

sport

now, i’ll admit, i’m not into sport. but we are nothing if not a sporting nation.

i did swimming, played hockey, and dance

saturday mornings are for kids sport. it’s a thing. every kid plays a sport. we are sporty by nature.

we also get really into sport. rugby league, union, touch and afl are the big ones. rugby league is the big one.

there’s also a thing called ‘the state of origin’ between the queensland (the maroons) and new south wales (the blues). the blues suck don’t @ me. the maroons had an 8 year winning streak from 2006-2013. my mum can’t watch it because it stresses her out too much.

there was an ICONIC moment done by johnathan thurston (aka the cowboys and the league’s best player of all time). i remember screaming at the television and i HATE that. there’s so much that happens in these 11 minutes. it’s fucking wild. (https://youtu.be/SU5zcrDvMDU)

politics

liberal is “not good” in australia. the labour party is basically the equivalent of the democratic party (i think??)

we have a prime minister, but it changes a lot idk who it is now lol

compolsory to vote. you get a fine if you don’t.

other things you should know

we use the metric system because we’re not fuckheads.

no guns. gun control ay. if you have a gun, you’re probably a farmer.

not many starbucks here. sorry lol it’s shit coffee anyways

#writing #writing help #australia #australian #writer #writer's #australian gothic

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diaryformytravels · 5 years

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#27 Orlando (Day 1)

For the first time in Blog history, it’s both J-Dawg, and the M-inator writing the same blog!!! We thought if only one person wrote it, it would drive them mental and it the end product, would be very similar to Auschwitz!!!

The alarm was set for 5:50, thus we woke at the crack at of dawn. We got ready and ate breakfast and were ready to go at 6:15am as agreed the previous night. Of course at this time, nobody else was ready. Fun fact, they tease Morgs for eating chocolate all the time, yet they gave Max a large chocolate muffin for breakfast. So off we set at 6:25am to be there at 6:30am to beat some of the crowds. Last night we told them that when we looked it up, it said we needed to be there no later than 90 minutes before the park opens at 7am. Of course there was no way we were gonna be able to get MMM to Hollywood Studios at 5:30am, so we told them that that is what the site said, but let’s try aim for 6:30 instead. They agreed and said it wouldn’t be that busy. Come 6:38am when we get dropped off, its is absolutely packed. Cue shocked faces from the hitler crew.

We rushed into the park, getting our bags checked and Disney cards loaded with our ID’s to get into the park. We then hastily made our way to the entrance of the new Galaxy’s Edge Star Wars World, along with the other 7000 people. We figured out you could join a virtual queue that places you in a group for one of the busier rides, Rise of the Resistance. The queue opened at 7am, so everyone was ready to pounce on their phones at 6:59. J was in charge of doing this and he secured us with group 18, it then said it would notify us when to go board the rides queue. (There were over 130 groups, so this was a score, yay me!).

First ride we did was called The Hollywood Tower, and was eerily similar to Gold Coasts ‘Tower of Terror’, we were unsure what the ride had in store, but before joining the queue, the spooky look of the tower had Max almost in tears, after a tantrum. Also someone kept farting horribly in the line, disgusting. The ride was quite fun and bit creepy, with lots of jumps and falls, but with only a single seatbelt keeping us in our chair, we questioned the safety behind this ride. 6/10.

Ride number 2 was our first Star Wars ride. It was called ‘Star Tours’ and was a 4D ride. It was pretty cool and was based on the most recent Star Wars movie. We were lead on a wild goose choose, by C3-PO and he was actually there with us in person 😉. 6/10.

We got our notification for Rise of the Resistance, and head straight on over for our third ride of the day. We asked how long the queue was, but they refused to give an answer every time, Michelle did not like this at all and whined a lot. The Star Wars world itself was really care and you could tell Disney went all out, and we were thinking the queue would be really cool with lots of Star Wars references in it. For the first 20 minutes it was quite disappointing, with some more feral farts, but then suddenly we were captured by the First Order and it was really funny, because the employees were pretending to be mean and yelling at everyone and insulting everyone, eg. Someone was leaning on the wall in the line and one of the First Order Captains came over and stared at him 10cm away from his face and said “Do you own this wall?” the guy replied laughing, “No...”, the captain replied quickly, “Then why are you touching it?”. It was very funny and everyone couldn't stop laughing. Then the ride actually begun and it was so much fun, it was kind of like transformers, but without the the 3D glasses, the effects were phenomenal and there were no obvious tracks of where we were going. The ride was us escaping a Star Destroyer and away from Kylo Ren. 9/10.

Next was the ‘Rock’n’Roll’ coaster, but before, Morgs and I decided to get a cookie because we were a bit peckish (it’s now 10:30am). As we got to the front of the line and ordered our two cookies, Max suddenly appears, “I want a cookie too”. Too late bucko! Ride was fun, same as the Paris one. 7.5/10.

By this stage Michelle was getting cranky because she hadn't had her coffee yet, so she went and lined up at Starbucks, and sent us two with Max to get a hotdog. The funny thing is, the hot dog stand was where we bought the cookies, right next to the rollercoaster, that we just left. Fuckwit. I took Max and Morgs had a look in Pandora, and bought herself a new ring.

Next was a show!! Beauty and the Beast live! This was fantastically hilarious because of how shocking it was. The only 3 people who had mics could not sing, it was so bizarre. And again! The farts were here again! Is there a pattern forming? Morgs says 0/10. Jasper says 10/10.

Then we went to another show. The Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. This was a bit of a yawn and a boy show, surrounded by noisy, crying children. Before the show even started, we could taste yet another fart! If you haven’t caught on, Max has been letting them rip all day. He is without a doubt, the most disgusting creature to ever plague this earth. The show had volunteers from the audience and one was a plant and he started doing stunts and Morgs was shocked, until she figured it out. 3/10. Would have been 1/10 if not for the plant.

Next was lunch! We had booked an Italian restaurant and headed there right after Indiana Jones. The food was pretty good, but I think the highlight was a text that Michelle got, and showed us, when Max went to the toilet by himself. The message read as follows: “Mum are you there? Can I do a number 2, the bathroom is very clean. Respond fast”

Now in the rain we made our way to some shops and did some browsing, then went to Toy Story Land. Max cracked the shits because we didn't wait 35 minutes to go on the kids roller coaster.

Next on the cards was the other new Star Wars ride, The Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run. Again we had no idea what we were going into, but it was a 55 minute wait, so it must have been good. Max of course hated this idea and threw yet another tantrum, but luckily no more farts. The ride ended up being an interactive almost video game like ride, but still like a 4D ride. It was something else. So much fun, Max and Michelle were piloting, Morgs and I were shooting, and two randoms were the engineers. 9/10.

By this stage we were all shutting down (4pm now), did some more shopping and then Mikko came and collected us and took us home for a rest before dinner at Disney Springs.

Dinner was at a Mexican restaurant which had fantastic guacamole that reminded us of Zambreros ❤️. We played uno and then did a recon at the big shops there for when we purchase on Saturday. 15 minutes into looking at shops, Max cracked it because Mum wasn't letting him buy a $300 replica lightsaber. Since Max cracked...so did Mikko and he decided it was time to leave because he was ready to go now. We took our time in that store, and then Michelle informed them we were still going to Kate Spade, cue angry Fins.

Now back at home on our new couch bed living the high life. Should be better nights sleep on this than the single-double bed.

God bless, and Godspeed.

M&J

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oscarwintersworld-blog · 5 years

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Days 1-3, the journey begins

Day 1

On the morning of November the 5th, I woke up with a blocked ear and a severe lack of sleep. Unfortunately, coffee could only fix one of those problems. After getting dressed my wonderful girlfriend, Sarah, drove me to the Gold Coast airport where we met up with my Mum and Sister. After a tearful goodbye, I met with the rest of the students travelling on the same flight and at 7:00AM we boarded our flight to Cairns. The inital flight was one of comfort as I had a row to myself, listening to music in my one good ear and eating stale lolly airplanes while staring at the gorgeous Great Barrier Reef. I managed to fit in a session of Smash Bros. with Caleb before departing once more. The six-and-a-half hour flight to Narita airport consisted of me applying ear drops and watching an interesting anime on Netflix to pass the time. Upon arrival, I collected my belongings and bought an unlimited data sim to use on my phone for the month which only cost 6000 yen (Roughly 80AUD). After everyone was together we took the Keisei line to Narita station where we met up with the Leigh Sensei and the rest of the group. After giving our luggage to the Kirinoya Ryokan owner, Katsumata San, we took a short walk down the streets of Narita towards our ryokan, taking in the views along the way. After we arrived I was required to take off my shoes and wear slippers while walking along the hardwood (a very common practice in Japan) then into another pair while walking on the tatami mats. There was even a seperate pair just for the bathroom. After putting my bags away in the room I shared with Ethan, I went to the dining area and ate a delicious traditional dinner prepared by Katsumata-san’s family. Afterwards I went to bed to prepare for the next day.

Day 2

After a traditional Japanese breakfast of fish, nori, omelette, rice and miso, the group and I went to the scenic Narita-san park where we saw dozens of huge multi-coloured koi fish and visited a Japanese caligraphy mueseum and then to the Narita-san Shinshoji temple where we saw the locals praying with incense and money offerings. After the temple tour, I walked back to the Ryokan with Katsumata-san, making small talk (as best we could) about Narita and our lives. Katsumata-san was kind enough to have his son drive me to the local ENT clinic to get my ear looked at so I could avoid an infection. It turns out Katsumata-san’s son was a big fan of video games, which made making conversation a piece of cake. After getting my ear cleaned out I felt like a new man and was ready to tackle to rest of the tour. I was dropped off at the Aeon mall and met up with some of the boys to get some lunch and check out the shops. I finally got to try Mister Donut and it was so good that it has ruined all other donuts for me. After eating we wandered around, buying some bits and pieces here and there that would be useful on the tour, we began the lengthy walk back to the ryokan just as dusk was settling. After returning and eating the katsudon and side dishes prepared for us, Katsumata-san let us see his family heirlooms including a 100+ year old gun, a katana, the helmet of a samurai and some interesting wooden face masks which everyone got the chance to hold and take photos with. Once dinner was finished, Billy, Ethan, Caleb, Arnold and myself took a small stroll down to the local Family Mart where we bought some snacks and a few cans of the infamous ‘Strong Zero’ which had a 9% alcohol content. This was the first of our many mistakes that night… After returning to the ryokan we drank our drinks and definitely felt the effect kick in. The suggestion of a second trip to family mart was floated around until finally we left to buy some more drinks (Our second mistake). I couldn’t get over how cheap the food and drinks are in convenience stores in Japan. A 500ml can of alcohol was 220Yen, roughly $3AUD. After our final purchase my remaining memmories of that night seemed to dissapear as fast as the alcohol did…the last thing I remember was poorly organising my futon before falling fast asleep.

Day 3

My third morning began with two unclogged ears but one pounding headache, I guess I didn’t drink enough Pocari Sweat. After packing our bags we had a final traditional breakfast at the Kirinoya Ryokan, although I didn’t have the biggest appetite… After gathering my bags and walking to the station, the group and I then spent the rest of the day travelling north on a series of local trains towards the Tochigi Prefecture and eventually, Nikko via the Tobu Railways limited express line. After arriving in Nikko we struggled to get all the groups into taxis, they were probably frightened off by the big group of suitcase dragging gaijin. The remaining group took the local bus to the closest stop and then walked to the Turtle Inn which we were staying at. I was rooming with Oliver and Caleb this time in a small tatami room with futons. After settling down our things, we all went to explore the local scenery, including the Kanman-ga Fuchi Abyss which follows the Daiya River. This path was lined with jizo statues which adorned pink knitted caps which were supposed to help them in the afterlife. The scenery was astoundingly beautiful and I could tell that would be a common theme in Japan. After walking through the path and taking lots of photos, we went to the vibrantly red Shinkyo Bridge which was built in 1636 and stretched across the Daiya river. After taking a small tour through halls of the Kanaya Hotel (the oldest western-style hotel in Japan) and viewing its rich history of famous guests, we went to Gusto’s Diner for dinner. I had the 'Meat on Meat’ special which was exactly what you’d expect it to be. After dinner, Ben, Leigh, Matt, Arnold and myself went back the the Kanaya Hotel and paid a visit to the bar. While the vibe and setting was very appealing the service was less than kind and came with a high price tag. A fun experience with some good company but I probably wouldn’t go back. After drinks the five of us made our way back to the Turtle Inn and shared stories in the lobby until the late hours of the night. It was a good chance to get to know everyone. Afterwards we went to bed to rest for the big day ahead.

#JapanTrip

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hellolightbulbmoments · 5 years

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Our trip to Ghana (part 2)

Keta

This village town is about two hours drive East of Accra. It's got great views of the Volta River, it's got its own lagoon and is close to the sea so a great place for water lovers. We came here to stay in the holiday home of my mum's friend's brother-in-law. His place was really nice, large rooms with en-suite, a swimming pool and plenty of things to do in the river like canoeing, paddle boarding, jet skiing. It was the first place that I have ever kayaked, and the place where Hannah got terrible sunburn in her legs but it was fun.

We drove far east of Ghana and were almost an hour away from the capital of the next country. During the journey back we stopped over at our first slave trade fort, Prinzenstein one owned by the Danes. It was in pretty bad condition considering more than half of it was washed away by the sea, but there was enough of it left for us to get an idea of what went on. Our tour guide told showed us where the women used to bathe, where they slept, and where they were sold. We saw a model of the full fort which looked large. Unfortunately, the upstairs was too dangerous for us to walk on but that's where the generals quarters would have been.

Cape coast

Our time in Accra and Keta was fun and although we enjoyed the tourist attractions we seemed to be the only ones around. That was all about to change when we entered the former capital of Ghana. Cape Coast is a place booming with tourists attractions as well as local and international tourists.

Cape Coast castle

The first of two castles we visited at Cape Coast and I would say the first proper museum we visited in Ghana not because it was large and had loads of tourists in it (we were unfortunate to have a large group of schoolgirls in front of us), but because of the information that was provided. There were books and pamphlets in the ticket hall, a gift shop, and the self-guided tour section had loads of pictures and text to go along with it. There was a section that replicated the inside of a slave ship and another that replicated the ring where slaves would be sold. It was impressive and added to the effect of the area's sad history.

The castle itself was very well built and was better preserved than the one in Keta. Originally built by the Swiss for trading slaves it was taken over by the British who did the same thing. We saw the dungeons where the male and female slaves were kept. Our tour guide was very good and simulating what it felt like to be down there by giving us detailed descriptions while turning off all electric lights as there wouldn't have been any in those times. The floors which were originally brick were caked with a layer of hard grey which was years of human [faeces] and dirt which was a surprise to me, as well as the bad sanitation that was in the dungeons.

We saw a prison that was used for both slaves and misbehaving officers which was built in an interesting way. The first section had a door with holes where the white soldiers were kept for a day. The second section behind the first had a much thicker door which no holes and it lead to a place which no ventilation whatsoever. This is where the misbehaving slaves were kept and were left there until they died. We walked along the edge of the castle closest to the sea which had loads of cannons, these were used to fend off invading pirates and attacking countries. Each castle had a fort nearby built on a hill so a lookout could spot the enemy from afar. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to visit any forts in Cape Coast but we might do that on a future trip.

We then walked up to the place where the governors would stay which was a drastic difference to the dungeons. They had large rooms with plenty of windows, there were kitchens and bathrooms. Many of those rooms had been modified and were being used as offices. I know Osu castle (which we didn't visit) has been completely taken over by those in government and used as offices.

Cape Coast castle was such a great tourist attraction and I recommend it for anyone visiting Ghana.

Elmina castle

This castle is a similar size to Cape Coast castle but was originally built for a different purpose. This was the first castle built in Africa around 1400 by the Portuguese to share the gospel and for fair trade. They traded gold for things like mirrors, guns, gunpowder and so on. However, when Columbus discovered the Caribbean islands and the riches it contained, they realised they needed people to work on them, for various reasons they decided to take the people from Ghana to those islands and the castle changed from a place of goods trade to a place of the slave trade.

I don't want to go too much into the history of what happened but I will say once again our tour guide did a very good job of explaining it to us and showing us around. We started in a church at the centre of the castle, then moved to the storage places which later became the dungeons for slaves. There were loads of similarities between this place and Cape Coast castle. The conditions in which the slaves were kept in was worse than animals. Misbehaving officers were kept in a prison with air and light for a day whereas misbehaving/revolting slaves were kept in a much worse prison and left to die. We saw a ball and chain in the courtyard of the women which was used to torture the slaves who refused to sleep with the generals that requested them. It was all very moving, especially seeing the gate of no return, the place where the slaves would leave to go on boats.

This castle, unlike Cape Coast, showed clear signs of a takeover. The Portuguese lost it to the Dutch who had reinforced it after destroying parts of it and built their own protestant church as opposed the Catholic Portuguese one and built their own kitchen.

I think it's amazing how much of the castle was preserved in the condition that it was. This castle, in particular, was around 600 year old and rooms were still being used as offices and gift shops.

Kakum National Park

Our final tourist attraction in Cape Coast was the Kakum National Park. I had heard a lot about this place before visiting Ghana, the famous canopy walkway that was so high up people were so afraid to set foot on it. I spoke to someone at work who closed her eyes all the way across. So upon entering the park I was pretty nervous, I didn't know what to expect.

Upon paying for our tickets we sat in the wooden waiting area and watched a documentary on the cape cost tourism board. A group of American students also came to the waiting area before our tour began. Once again, we were touring with school kids. We let them go ahead of us as we toured through the rainforest. We were told there were 240 elephants in Kakum, all sorts of snakes and birds, but unfortunately, we didn't see any of them, what we did see however were large ants, driver ants. Our tour guide told us not to step on them as their death would all an army of them to attack. Inevitably someone didn't listen and killed a few ants, we were told to run quickly across the path as not to get swarmed, so we did, this made the tour feel a bit rushed.

We got to the canopy which was really high up above the ground but it was incredibly well reinforced. The wooden walkway was on top of a metal ladder type structure placed horizontally. The walkway was walled with a thick rope mesh and there were ropes all around it to keep it from falling, this put my nerves at ease, this and the knowledge that since the park had been built no one has ever fallen through the walkway.

We walked through first and the Americans walked behind us. There were about 20 students overall which made the bride feel very wobbly but safe enough for us to take videos and pictures of it. We were on and off all 4 bridges in less than 15 minutes and I wanted to do the whole thing again.

Conclusion

Although I wasn't a huge fan of the humid heat, the long long car journeys, and the mosquito bites I enjoyed my time in Ghana overall.

I really missed having Hausa Koko, Tom brown or Cerelac for breakfast with hard dough bread. The taste of fried plantain and beans, goat meat kebabs, grilled chicken with Jollof, Malta Guinness, and of course, Milo with evaporated milk. Fresh coconut juice, watermelons, sugar cane, pawpaws, and mangos were also great additions to my diet.

I enjoyed having conversations with family members I hadn't seen in a while and brushing up on my [Fante]. It was weird at first seeing billboard, adverts and TV shows with just black people on them, especially for brands that are in the UK as well like Vodafone and Barclays, but I got used to it after a while and it was actually sort of refreshing. It was also quite shocking to see loads people on the roads selling food, open shipping containers on dirt pavements with shops, and driving on bumpy dirt roads. A lot Ghana to my surprise looked very third world, even in Accra, the capital. I was shocked to see that at first, but like most things there I got used to it.

For those who have been swung by this article and really want to visit Ghana, I have a few tips for you. Make sure you keep the fan on when you sleep, it makes it harder for the mosquitos to bite you. Don't drink water from the taps or eat any vegetables. The water is safe to drink and eating vegetables that have been washed in said water isn't good either. Take a face towel with you or buy one when you're there, you'll sweat so much that it will be uncomfortable so the towel will be your best friend. Take money out of an ATM instead of a forex bureau, the exchange rates are usually better. And finally, be a generous tipper.

#travel #ollie

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idxnoah-blog · 6 years

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hello, noah’s mun here to introduce my son, the lead dancer and lead vocal of imperial! i haven’t rp-ed nor written in ages, so apologies if it takes me a while to settle in. @-@; but i would very much like to plot with each and every one of you! sadly, i don’t have any plots, but that just means we can brainstorm OR i shuffle my way into your plot pages as i also mosey my way into my own inbox and yours. so, just give this post a like. ehe. down below will be more info on noah if you wanna skip his whole bio. just a quick rundown to get things going! as well as plot bunnies!

- he’s from gold coast, australia. so yes, noah han comes equipped with an aussie accent. he also loves timtams. probably the only thing he eats. - his mum died giving birth to him, so his dad blames him for it. they don’t get along at all. he has mother and father issues. - he was kind of a loner in school. bc his dad ruined his self-esteem nor did he want noah to veer away from studies and after school activities bc y’know, they had to impress their wealthy friends. - that being said, noah can make friends when he wants to. he’s not selective... no, he is. lmao. it comes from being raised by a snobby father. - also noah doesn’t talk much. hence why 99 stuck him with the ice prince image. “u don’t talk? great. stand there and look cold and pretty like elsa.” - but drunk!noah is a different story. he hella wild and fun. always up for a lit night to escape the monsters in his head bc he is probably one of the most pessimistic people ever. - some of the things he did when he was younger was football (soccer), piano, violin (he wasn’t that good, tho) and etc. he sucked, and his dad never let him forget it. however, he was good in the church choir and dance. - never really thinks he’s good enough. not for friends. not for relationships. yeah, not a relationship person! “what is love? can i eat it?” - ofc, that doesn’t mean we are opposed to hook-ups, so hit us up. *smacks self* - he took cinematography in university. it took him a while to finish since he was busy being an idol. but he doesn’t see it that way. he’s very sensitive about his work and creations. he barely shows them to anyone. - except nowadays he does to the company and his members bc he wants to offer more to the group. - has tattoos but usually always wears long sweaters to cover them up. so no one really knows outside of his fans that he has any, anyway. - variety skills? impersonations? yeah, those flew over his head. bUT when he tries to mimic anyone, it’s so flat and bad that it’s actually funny. can dish a mean michael jackson, tho. - i ran out of facts. but anyway. - here are some ideas for connections! - flings, hook-ups. maybe y’all tried dating but it didn’t work for wtv reasons. - his selective group of friends. so probably everyone in wild & free. haha. but can be expanded, ofc. - enemies? people he doesn’t like? at first, he is quite cold, so he can rub rookies the wrong way. but he’s nice... yeah, i swear. - ok idk anymore bye. - please plot with us!

#ooc.

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fanficmoi · 6 years

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The Fool By The Seaside Chp.2

Paul returned to the coast everyday after that, desperate to see the man, the creature, again. But he wasn’t there for the whole week that followed the encounter, or the week after that, or the week after that. He grabbed every book he could find on the library about sea creatures and there he found the word, a world he’d always thought to be fantasy and yet would never again be perceived as so in Paul’s mind. Mermaid. Or rather, merman. The book told him that they were part human part fish, and that they often appeared to sailors on their voyages at sea. It spoke of their beauty and how they used it to lure those sailors to their deaths. But Paul couldn’t believe that, yes the creature had been scary but Paul had touched him without his permission. The creature had probably never met a human before! The books spoke of encounters mermaids had had before with humans, often about how enchanting they were and how disappointed the men narrating the stories had been when they found out that they were fish from the waist down. Paul scoffed at them, how could people be disappointed at such a remarkable aspect? Paul knew he wanted, no needed, to see it again. To feel it under hand, to be able to take it in in detail and be able to appreciate every inch of its beauty.

Paul was desperate, he was irritable and nobody could figure out what was wrong with him. But he couldn’t tell anyone, the boy was Paul’s secret. The creature had sang to him. Surely that meant something, it had too.

It was with this thought in mind that it struck Paul. An idea to get the creature to return. Paul would sing. Yes, he would sing a song and hope for the creature to hear it.

And so that’s what he did one day. He brought his guitar to the beach, something he rarely did due to a fear that it would get wet or get covered in sand, and started to strum out a soft tune he’d been working on for some time.

One day, you'll look

To see I've gone

But tomorrow may rain, so

I'll follow the sun

One day, you'll know

I was the one

But tomorrow may rain, so

I'll follow the sun

He closed his eyes and let his heart take over the song, the wind caressing his fair face.

And now the time has come

And so, my love, I must go

And though I lose a friend

In the end you will know

Oh-oh-oh

One day, you'll find

That I have gone

But tomorrow may rain, so

I'll follow the sun

So focused was he that he didn’t hear a body come out of the water, with its head tilted and eyes wide in confusion and wonder.

And now the time has come

And so, my love, I must go

And though I lose a friend

In the end you will know

Oh-oh-oh

One day, you'll find

That I have gone

But tomorrow may rain, so

I'll follow the sun

The song ended there, and Paul sighed in content, the first he had felt in a while. The atmosphere had relaxed, the waves and seagulls seemed muted, and Paul could feel himself beginning to lay down for rest when a voice made him snap up.

“Don’t stop.” It said.

Paul sat up in a flash and blinked his eyes as he took in the sighet before him. It had worked! The man was there, his body from the waist down hidden from view with the water. Paul stared in amazement as he took in every detail. The man’s skin seemed to almost shine as the evening sun struck it. He was still wearing the necklace with the blue stones, and Paul could see a gold armband on his left bicep with some engravings he could not decipher.

The creature spoke again, “I like your song.” Its, His, voice was different as he spoke than when he sang. It was rougher, more nasal, and yet still enchanting.

Paul finally dared to open his mouth, “I, that was it. The song ends there.”

The creature looked down at the water, the looked up again. “You have another?” He asked, “Another song?”

Paul found himself nodded, “Sure, loads.”

The creature, the merman, smiled. But it quickly faded as he saw Paul flinch away from his teeth. He sank down in the water, feeling dejected.

Paul cursed himself, “It’s okay, I’m sorry.”

The merman’s eyes looked at him without actually moving his head up. He then offered a nervous, close mouthed smile and said, “Song?”

“Ah, yes. Of course.” Paul said with a shy smile of his own. Then he started to sing.

I've just seen a face,

I can't forget the time or place

Where we just met.

She's just the girl for me

And I want all the world to see

We've met, mm-mm-mm-m'mm-mm

Had it been another day

I might have looked the other way

And I'd have never been aware.

But as it is I'll dream of her

Tonight, di-di-di-di'n'di.

Falling, yes I am falling,

And she keeps calling

Me back again.

Paul stopped and looked at the merman. He found him smiling with his eyes closed, a serene look on his face. After a few seconds of silence, he opened his eyes and looked at Paul with a confused look.

“Why stop?” He asked.

Paul shrugged, “Sorry, I just...I was looking at you.”

The creature seemed flattered, he looked down with a smile.

“My name is Paul, by the way.” The human spoke as he put down his guitar for a moment, not really caring about the sand anymore.

The merman tilted his head, “Pole.” He said.

‘Pole’ laughed, “No, more ‘Powl’ like.”

“Powl, Paul.” The creature said.

“Yes.” Paul nodded and the merman smiled, proud.

“You have a name?” Paul asked him, curious as to what kind of name a mermaid would have.

“John.”

Oh. Wow. “John?” Paul asked in an incredulous voice, “John!?”

The creature frowned and moved away, “Why wrong?” It sounded offended.

Paul sighed, “I’m sorry. I just, John is a rather common name.”

John frowned, “Not at home. I only John in school.”

Paul decided that he probably meant ‘school’ as in group of merpeople. Like fish. And he was curious, “Are there many of you?” He asked.

John smiled a grand smile, “Yes! Many of Merrow.”

“Merrow?” Paul asked, “You mean merpeople? Half fish?”

John looked offended again, “We not fish, we Merrow!”

“Right, sorry.” Paul said, embarrassed. “So how come you speak English?”

The merman relaxed, “Aintín taught me English.”

“That a friend of yours?” Paul asked as he got closer to the water, slowly so as to not spook the merman.

John frowned, “Aintín family.”

Paul frowned, “Aintín, is she your mum?”

The merman looked down, suddenly sad looking. “No. Aintín not mam.”

Paul raised a worried eyebrow at the sudden change of mood, “Sorry. You have a mum?” Maybe merpeople didn’t have mums, how would that even work?

John sighed and grabbed at his necklace, “Mam away.”

Oh. His mum had left him? Well shit, looks like crap parenting extended to the sea. “I’m sorry.” Paul said, then spoke again. “My mum left too. Well, she died.”

The creature looked up at him in shock.

Paul continued, looking away from his companion and into the horizon, “It’s just me, my brother, and my dad now. It’s not that bad, we get by.”

There was silence for a moment. Then John spoke up, “Uncail dead too.”

“Aintín and Uncail? Are they your aunt and uncle?” Paul asked, it would make sense, the words were practically the same.

John nodded, “Yes. Aintín is mam deirfiúr.”

“Is that sister? Deirfiúr?” Paul guessed.

“Yes.”

Paul drew his knees up and laid his crossed arms there, “Do you have any...deirfiúr?”

John nodded, “From mam and other Merrow. Not athair.”

Paul frowned, trying to connect the word. “Athair? What is that?”

John also frowned, and went silent as he searched his brain for the correct word. “Patir, aita, otets, fatha?” He asked, “Fatha english?”

Paul nodded, “FathER.” He corrected with an amused smile.

“FathER.” John repeated, then smiled back. His teeth were on display but Paul didn’t flinch back.

The two were silent for a few minutes, just looking at each other. Once again Paul felt himself be drawn in by the others eyes, there was something entrancing about them and he couldn’t think of any other thing he would rather be looking at. Or wait, he could.

“Can I see it?” He asked without thinking.

John tilted his head, “Eet?”

Paul swallowed, “Your...tail?”

John didn’t respond, but his eyes widened and he sank further down.

The human was quick to respond, “I won’t hurt you I promise! I just...I need to see.” Paul’s hand was raised in a calming manner, “I need to see I’m not insane.”

John hesitated for a minute before saying, “Rock.” And he sank down into the water.

Paul did nothing for a minute, until he understood what the merman meant. He stood up, grabbed his guitar and walked closer to the large rock. He left his instrument far from the water and walked back to the water. He waited for a few seconds and then got in the water. It reached mid-thigh but he would walk steadily enough, he finally reached the patch of sand behind the rock and sat there, waiting.

Finally, the merman’s head emerged from beneath the water. His eyes were wary and wide in what appeared to be fear.

Paul smiled, “I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise.” He extended a hand. “It’s okay.”

The merman gave a shy smile and slowly a hand raised from underneath the water and rested on Paul’s own. The human’s breath caught. The hand had a blue tint to it, it was webbed, and he had sharp nails that could be called claws. It was wet and cold, yet so incredibly breathtaking. The fingers were thin and seemed longer that would be considered normal, but they were certainly not ugly. As John rose further, Paul could see that he had fins on his arms, a gorgeous light blue color mixed with silver. Now that the merman was so close, Paul could see that he had gills on both his neck and to the sides of his chest. He saw the latter close as they left the water and then saw John chest expand as he breathed in deeply.

Just before jumping into the sand John stopped and looked at Paul, “Promise?” He asked.

“Promise.” The human breathed.

Then with a splash John was in the sand next to him, his upper body a few paces behind Paul’s so more of his tail could be seen. At his almost feminine waist, John was sporting a belt made of a thin silver cloth with blue stones much like his necklace’s making jingling sounds as hemoved. And the tail, oh the tali. It was long, incredibly so, it had to be at least a meter and a half, thought Paul was tempted to say it was two meters total counting the fin part of it. John had no belly button and the scales started to appear mid waist until they completely took over. Paul kept expecting to see an indent between what would be two legs held together but there was none. There were two short fins to the side near the end of the tail until finally the caudal fin took over.

Oh it was gorgeous! The same blue-silver of the arm fins, the tail shined as the sun hit it. And the caudal fin had four parts, rather than the expected two. It was still touching the water, but Paul had a clear view of it. As it ended, it turned near transparent but it was still blue at the beginning, until the colour faded.

Paul couldn’t speak out of sheer awe, but John took his silence as a sign of disillusionment and hurried to speak, “Tail longer than most in school. I, I clean tail every night. Tail colour rare in school.”

Paul saw the merman curling his tail up and quickly said, “Please don’t!” Causing the merman to stop and tilt his head. Paul continued, “It’s beautiful.” He looked into his companions dark eyes and said, “You’re beautiful.”

The merman looked into Paul’s eyes with wide eyes, feeling himself getting hot, something inexplicable being cold blooded as he was. He extended his tail again, this time laying it closer to the human.

Said human didn’t look away from his gaze immediately, but did so eventually and went back to admiring the tail. The merman didn’t look away from the other’s face.

Paul suddenly dared to raise a hand but first he asked, “Can I touch it?” At the alarmed look he received, he continued, “I promise I’ll be gentle.”

The other’s chest was raising up and down rather rapidly, he had always been told stories of humans that stole mermaids scales, leaving them to die. But Paul wouldn’t would he? He was nice, he had sang John a song. Songs were signs of affection. Plus, the human had promised, and promises were unbreakable. Slowly, he took a deep breath and nodded.

Paul smiled and carefully moved a hand closer to the tail, he could see it tensing so he was very gentle as he laid a hand in what would have been the thigh. He heard the other’s breath hitch and looked up to see if he had hurt John, but to his surprise found him with his eyes closed and an expression of pleasure on his face. Paul smiled and slowly started to move his hand up and down the appendage, enjoying the texture. It felt different from skin, but it wasn’t rough. It was very smooth and not slimy like he had expected.

He was completely entranced by the activity that he didn’t stop until he heard a whimper come from the merman’s lips. He looked up in worry but was shocked by what he found. The creature’s head was thrown back, his eyes shut tight, and his mouth a wide open. He looked...aroused. It was a delectable sight.

Appalled by the thought, Paul jumped away from the merman and stood up. John’s eyes opened and his head snapped to look at Paul, his head tilted in confusion. He too had been surprised by his feelings of pleasure coming from the touch, but it only made sense! Paul had been rubbing his tail, clearly he knew what he was doing to John. “Paul?” He breathed with a wobbly voice.

Paul couldn’t handle the tone and shook his head as he moved away from the rock and into the water.

“Paul?” The tone was more alarmed now, and John was sitting up straight now. The merman frowned and stretched an arm out, “Paul.” He said. Surely the human wasn’t leaving? Not after John had trusted him and let him touch his tail. Not even other Merrow touched each other’s tails. It was a sign of ultimate trust, and John had let a human he barely knew do it.

Paul just shook his head at him and turned away, walking towards where he had let his guitar.

“Paul!” John jumped into the water and got closer to the beach, he could feel the sand touching his chest and tail.

But the human didn’t look back at his merman, and ignored the following cries of anguish from the creature.

John felt rejected, he could feel his eyes getting wet so he quickly went underwater and swam away from the beach. He couldn’t believe what a fool he had been! Of course Paul had only wanted to feel something exotic, he didn’t care about John or what the touches had meant to him. Plucsheadáinín.

#the Beatles #beatles #mclennon #fanfic #beatlesslash #slash #fic #my fic #paul mccartney #john lennon

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