#gonna update my log tomorrow for now I sleep

[troutfur]

Friendly rivalry between alderpaw and needlepaw in an au where clans are friendly and collaborative with eachother.

I'm writing this preamble before writing the ficlet so I don't know how much of this is gonna reflect on it, but I do want it to be known that my immediate thought seeing this prompt was not to focus on the Needlepaw and Alderpaw of it all but rather on the aspect of the Clans being friendlier and more collaborative.

See, half because a while back my friend group got really into thinking about shipping dynamics based on Ursula K. Le-Guin short stories and half because that's what I was reading about for my class on anthropological theory I have thought about the idea of Clans as a type of moiety that evolved out of a gradual cooling of the political tensions at the creation of the Clans.

I usually group the four forest clans into two sets of two based on the alliances towards the end of TPB, LionClan with WindClan and ThunderClan and TigerClan with ShadowClan and RiverClan. I'll have to brainstorm a name for what the two larger Clans with ShadowClan and ThunderClan on one side and WindClan and RiverClan on the other as their halves would be.

(Want to see me overcomplicate your AU premise? Check my guidelines and give me your prompt! You may just be the one chosen next.)

“Alderpaw, come on!” Molewhisker stopped to encourage his panting apprentice. His trudging step and panting tongue betrayed right away how over-exerted he was from the exercise. Or it would if he didn’t look positively ragged, with fur sticking out everywhere and leaves and even bits of grass caught up all across his pelt.

His siter had convinced her own mentor and Molewhisker to make the trek to ShadowClan camp into a training exercise, though perhaps that’s too strong a word for how easily Cherryfall jumped on the idea. Alderpaw would be lying if he were to say he didn’t resent that about his sister just a little bit for how she had made a trip he was already dreading all the worse.

He understood, of course, the need to do so. It was as vital for a warrior of any Clan to get to know their sister Clan as it was to get to know their own territory and their own prey. But nothing he’d heard about their siblings from the other forest had been the least bit encouraging.

After every single gathering the senior warriors would return complaining about Consul Rowanclaw’s inability to keep the peace among his crowd, especially after the kits from their unusually fecund year had begun into apprenticeship. Most of ThunderClan held no particular love of his father but considering the alternative they dreaded the coming year when Consul Bramblestar would have to step back as Brambleclaw, letting Rowanstar enact his year of primary leadership.

When Alderpaw finally came to rest, almost collapsing without a care for the fact the floor was strewn with endless pine needes instead of the more familiar leaf litter, his peace was short-lived for he was soon faced with an unfamiliar silver-gray she-cat making faces at him. “This is a ThunderClan cat?” she said with an eyeroll as she turned around and slapped him across the face with her tail. “And I thought this was going to be a challenge.”

“The real challenge is going to be having to live with them,” another one jeered.

“They’re even worse at the gathering,” a third one of the apprentices piped up. “All goody two-paws trying oh so hard to impress their mentors. It’s sickening really.”

As they each took turns hurling insult after insult, Alderpaw could hear his sister swishing her tail across the pine needle cover. He knew that kind of look on her face, eager to jump to her own defense, and by extension that of her kin and Clan. But she also looked to her mentor who had not yet done anything about the insolent apprentices in spite of the authority conferred by her rank even over the youth of another Clan.

With a subtle eye signal from his sister and a tap of her foot, Molewhisker sprung into action, bringing the apprentice currently taking his turn at a jab under his grasp.

“Are we done with this distraction now?” The other apprentices tensed seeing the warrior currently grasping their friend but as Cherryfall flashed her claws they backed down.

Molewhisker released his grasp on the apprentice and soon enough Cherryfall was instructing everyone on the training exercise they would be performing together. “Don’t you think just because you have them to intimidate them that I’m going to go easy on you,” the silver-gray molly said to Alderpaw.

Just his luck that he had been paired with her of all possible cats...

[tujhse-raabta]

did i redownload this hell loop of an app to give y'all an update? yes

it is 4 am. i have not slept. i have three sting energy drinks in my system and one coffee that tasted shit. my work is still not done, but there is now hope for completion

i am stumbling around like I am drunk. will I sleep today? probably not till midnight! yay! do i have to prepare for a test with this brain? yes yes I do for tomorrow

anyways uh here's to hoping I can get some starbucks in

probably will delete the app again or atleast log off till I'm through with everything

love you and thank you for the love in my inbox

i am gonna eat a chocolate

[uswntxfootball]

i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else (jackie groenen x muwfc!reader)

a media takeover day makes you realize just how bad you are at hiding your feelings. 

word count: 2634 ish

rated P for painful pining, C FOR CHEESY AS FUCK, and F for fluFF ciTY.

song inspo: clinton kane’s i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else

——

“so is everything clear?”

you and jackie exchange a glance and nod.

casey smiles and says:

“good good. it’ll happen tomorrow so just make sure you follow the guidelines that i gave, though i have no doubt you two will do just fine.”

with that said, she gave a wave and left the call.

you lean forward closing the laptop that sat on the table in front of you, before leaning back on the couch behind you.

jackie promptly laid her head on your shoulder, and you wiggled your arm around her, settling it around the back of her neck, her hand coming up to grasp yours.

your heart threatened to explode out of your chest at the act.

this wasn’t uncommon between the two of you.

you were always holding hands wherever you went, always touching, and always flirting.

this of course, didn’t go unnoticed.

as a result jackie and you have dismissed thousands of press and fan questions, with each and every “we’re just friends” sending a dagger through your heart.

yet here you were, quarantined with her in manchester, holding onto the foolish hope that things might work out.

falling in love with your best friend wasn’t part of the plan, but there wasn’t anything you could do about it now.

“y/n.”

“hmm?” you hum out, watching the girl beside you play with your fingers absentmindedly.

“what if the fans think i’m boring?”

you sit up abruptly and jackie turns to look at you.

“jacks. you’ve got to be joking right? if there’s people who think you’re boring, i don’t want to meet them,” you huff.

jackie rolls her eyes.

“well that’s you. you’re biased you don’t count.”

you gasp in mock offense.

“i don’t count? how rude i- this is how i get treated for-“

jackie cut you off while pulling you into a hug.

“oh shut up you big baby.”

you look up at her and stick your tongue out at her, an action which she returns.

getting a little lost in her eyes, the two of you maintained eye contact for an unusual amount of time, the tension almost tangible.

it’s only when jackie’s phone buzzes on the table that you both break away, cheeks red.

you clear your throat quickly and stand up.

looking at jackie’s flushed face you tease:

“you know you’re cute when you blush.”

her face flushed even redder.

“oh shut up.”

~~

you woke up the next day at the same time you normally do.

the girl beside you was still fast asleep and you couldn’t help but stare a little at the sight.

her hair a mess and currently taking up more than half the bed with her limbs strewn about, you couldn’t be more into it.

there was just something about her.

you shook your head softly.

breaking your eyes away, you began getting ready for your run.

logging into the manchester united instagram page, you recorded a quick video greeting everyone for the day.

“hi everyone! i’m y/n, a forward for manchester united, which you probably knew already, but i’m going to be taking over this account with jackie today!”

after a little pause you continue in a whisper.

“i’m getting ready to go on a run right now, trying to be a little quieter because a certain midfielder is still fast asleep.”

“she snores too,” you added quietly with a giggle. “but i’ll be back in a bit guys!”

jackie would get you back for that later.

you got back from your run about half an hour later, with the midfielder still asleep.

changing out of your running clothes, you made a quick breakfast and some coffee for the two of you, and opened the account again.

you prop your phone up in front of you and begin recording.

“so i just got back from my run, made some breakfast, and guess who’s still asleep.”

you point towards the door behind you.

“hint it’s jackie. i even made her breakfast too. i think i should get like a “best friend in the world” award or something. i’m way too good of a friend to her. anyways that’s it for now, i’ll update you if sleeping beauty ever wakes. bye!”

you finished your breakfast while scrolling through twitter, smiling when you see some of the fans freaking out over the prospect of the two of you quarantining together.

after a little bit you heard the door behind you open, looking up to see a very sleepy (and frankly very cute) jackie groenen in it’s place.

your heart fluttered in your chest.

“coffee?” you offer, grinning at the enthusiastic nod that jackie gave you.

jackie’s cheeks flushed a little when she looked around.

“you made me breakfast?”

“well since someone slept in of course i did.”

the midfielder rolled her eyes and smiled, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before she walked over to the counter.

you felt like you were going to pass out.

if jackie noticed your shallow breathing and flushed cheeks, she didn’t comment.

“have you recorded anything yet?”

you nod, taking out your phone to show her the account.

she pauses for a moment before propping the phone up in front and starts recording.

“hi guys! i hope y/n didn’t bore you too much this morning-”

you cut her off with a gasp.

“me?! i’m obviously the fun one here! she-ow!’

jackie interrupted you with a punch.

you pouted, rubbing your shoulder.

“see she bullies me too.”

“oh she’s so dramatic,” jackie says while rolling her eyes.

the two of you get so preoccupied with bickering that you forget all about the video.

it’s only when you turn a little bit when you notice.

“damn the fans are gonna get the jackie-y/n quarreling special today.”

jackie snorts at that, deciding to post the 2 minute video with the label you had so lovingly created.

the story post read:

“an early christmas present for the muwfc fans; featuring a 2 minute jackie-y/n quarreling special”

followed by a post that read:

“we’ll be going live in around an hour so make up some good questions for us!”

while you were posting those, you missed the loving smile and stare from the girl next to you.

~~

you grinned when you saw the next question.

“has jackie found out about your post from this morning yet?”

jackie turned to look at you, her eyes narrowing.

“what did you say?”

“hmmm nothing nothing”

“no what- tell me!”

you pretended to think for a moment before answering:

“hmmm nope”

you let out a squeak of surprise when jackie’s fingers suddenly dug into your sides.

“fine! fine! i’ll tell you!” you relent, your chest heaving slightly.

“i just said that you snore is all,” you answered quickly.

jackie gasped loudly.

“i do not!”

“yes she does she-“

your sentence gets cut off when jackie pulls you into a headlock.

“you can’t silence me! jackie snores li-“

she slapped a hand over your mouth.

“okay anyways. let’s keep goin-ew y/n!”

jackie pulled her hand back with a grimace, you smiling triumphantly.

“she licked me,” jackie whined, wiping her hand on your shirt.

a few seconds later her hand settled on your thigh, and you swore you saw her smirk when you inhaled sharply.

a little flustered, you cleared your throat quickly before turning to the screen, noting the incoming flurry of comments about how cute the two of you are together.

jackie read the next question.

“are you guys dating?”

she gave the camera a wink when she said:

“y/n wishes.”

you rolled your eyes.

“we all know you want to. i mean who wouldn’t want to date me? i’m just the hottest person you’ve ever seen and-”

“oh and she’s cocky too,” jackie added with a grin, letting out a laugh at your expression.

you turn back to screen in time to catch another question.

“can jackie play something for us?”

jackie excitedly answered a “yes”, before standing up to grab her guitar.

you shuffled over to the other side of the couch when jackie got back.

here you sat watching the midfielder talk animatedly about her song choice.

you didn’t hear much of it, instead getting lost staring at the dutch girl, her smile wide and eyes sparkling.

“y/n what do you think?”

it snaps you out of your daze.

an “i think you’re beautiful” flashed through your mind, but what came out was:

“uh i-sorry what?”

jackie giggled.

“i’ll take that as a yes then.”

a soft guitar melody filled the air a few seconds after.

this was going to be a disaster.

~~

when jackie started singing you promptly forgot how to breathe.

you could feel your heart racing in your chest, butterflies exploding in your stomach.

her voice filled the air, and her presence was absolutely intoxicating.

strikingly blue eyes met yours during the chorus, and when she smiled softly you seriously felt like you were going to pass out.

and i wish we didn’t say goodbye

cause we’re just standing still

and i don’t really know what tomorrow holds

your heart was threatening to explode, and the three words you’ve kept buried for so long were beginning to make their way out from the back of your mind.

you didn’t know if you could make it to the end of the song.

you didn’t know if you could not tell her.

but i’ve finally realized

if this is our last goodbye until we’re gone

who cares about the wrongs we’ve caused ourselves

cause i don’t want to watch the world end with someone else

it didn’t help that jackie kept smiling at you, her eyes locking with yours and making your brain and heart go into overdrive.

it didn’t help that jackie was just so utterly attractive.

no, it didn’t help at all.

while the two of you were off in your own little world, the fans were going crazy, many picking up on the loving glances the two of you exchanged.

~~

the livestream ended not long after the song did.

and when it did you were torn.

do you keep it to yourself?

or do you risk it all for the measly hope that by some miracle she liked you back?

your heart preferred the second.

and in a game of internal tug o war, your heart won.

“jackie.”

the midfielder whipped around to face you.

fuck she’s pretty.

“i’m-“

fuck.

the words were sitting right on the tip of your tongue.

“i-“

jackie gave you a confused expression.

“you’re what?”

“i forgot to tell you that uhm-“

fuck the words. the words were right there. just say them.

jackie tilted her head to the side, puzzled.

“you forgot to tell me what?”

you cursed at her internally for being so cute.

“i-“

you gulped.

you can do this.

its just three words. three-

“i didn’t do the laundry.”

fuck.

jackie’s puzzled expression turns into a teasing one.

“that’s what you were so nervous to tell me? come on i’m not that scary am i?”

you shook your head, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“hey look, we can do it together then,” jackie said with a smile, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the room.

~~

shit.

this turned out to be way harder than you thought.

you had tried, multiple times on multiple occasions.

your tongue however, wouldn’t let you.

each and every time you failed, coming up with the strangest excuses for your bumbling.

you’re pretty sure you accidentally said that you forgot to fold the dishes once.

jackie just thought it was cute.

though your relationship didn’t change much, you did notice a persistent blush on the midfielder’s cheeks whenever you held her hand.

you didn’t comment on it though.

~~

jackie’s sitting next to you on the tiny kitchen counter.

the two of you are having dinner, having just come back from training, bickering about soccer (or as jackie called it, “football”) and how she missed her shot last game.

which was ironic because being this close to the midfielder made you feel like you were missing your shots.

anyways.

“oh come on it wasn’t like i was trying to miss!”

“could’ve fooled me,” you laugh, jackie gasping in offense.

“like you could’ve done any better.”

“yes i could! in fact i have a higher shooting accuracy than-“

“oh come on that was based off of our shots from like ages ago!”

“potato pota-“

“y/n!”

you smile at jackie’s indignant outcry.

“i’m just better at soccer than you,” you tease.

“one it’s football. two no you’re not.”

“yes i am.”

“no you’re not.”

“i am.”

“you’re no-“

“i love you.”

jackie stops talking.

your eyes go wide when you realize what you said.

jackie’s voice is soft when she stammers:

“wh-what?”

“i-“

you take a deep breath.

welp. here we go.

“i love you. and i’ve been trying so hard not to say it, but you make it so hard for me not to and i- i’ve been in love with you for years now jacks and i just i can’t help myself. it’s like im-“

“y/n. stop.”

you didn’t hear her.

“it’s just you. all the time. when i wake up and when i go to sleep and it doesn’t help that we’re quarantined together which is why i was trying to hard not to say it because if you hated me and this all goes to hell what would we do? i’m sorry if i’m screwing everything up i didn’t even plan on saying it today it just happened and i-“

you’re cut off from your rambling when jackie launches herself at you.

you’re frozen, with jackie hugging you tightly, unsure of what it meant, whether she hated you or not.

then.

a whisper so quiet you almost don’t hear it.

“i love you too.”

you almost fall off the counter.

you look at her with wide eyes, your heartbeat in your ears, worried that you might have heard her wrong.

“you-what?”

jackie pulls back to look at you.

fuck she’s so gorgeous.

“i said i love you too,” she whispers, looking down and looking almost the tiniest bit shy.

god you want to kiss her.

“do it then,” jackie challenges.

your ears heat up a tiny bit, realizing you said that aloud.

“are-are you sure?”

she nodded, and upon seeing your hesitation just decided to do it herself.

she tilts your head up by your chin and all of a sudden your mind goes blank.

everyone always talks about how the perfect kiss feels like fireworks, but you didn’t feel that here.

instead you felt like you were floating, with only the girl in your lap keeping you grounded.

one of jackie’s hands was on your cheek, another tracing on the back of your neck, and you felt weightless.

she broke the kiss after a while.

your heart was pounding so hard it was a miracle you were still alive.

the two of you sat quietly for a while, jackie on your lap with her head against your chest, until she broke the silence.

“that song was about you if you didn’t know.”

your heart fluttered again. the things she did to you.

“really?”

jackie nodded.

she looked up and before she kissed you she whispered:

“you’re the only one i’d want to watch the world end with.”

[limitlessgojo]

Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 12)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous Chapter: Kyoto-Tokyo Goodwill Event

Next Chapter: Home Sweet Home

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife @lordguameow @track5enthusiast

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, please mention it in the comments below ty <3

2.8k words for this chapter.

Chapter 12: Goldenrod

You went to check on Noritoshi getting cleaned up in the infirmary. He perked up upon seeing you.

"Ieiri San!" You smiled at the woman who was dressing his wounds.

"Y/n, it's been a while. How are you?" She called out.

"Doing okay here. You let your hair grow out!" You hurried to her side for a quick hug.

She laughed. "The last time we saw each other, I still had short hair?? That must have been years back. You as well, from a little girl that came up to my waist, you're nearly my height now!"

You nodded wistfully at her before turning to Noritoshi, looking over his wounds. "I'm alright, y/n." He said quietly. You gave him a shaky smile, quietly hiding the fact that you were worried when he got knocked around by some of the seniors.

Ieiri smiled at the both of you. "No need to worry, he is fine y/n."

"Ayiieeee, lovebirds get a room!" Satoru popped up from behind you. You flinched hard and on pure instinct, lashed out with your whip. It sprung out, but Satoru easily stopped it with two fingers up. "Women in love are so scary."

"Toru nii, can you not?!" You wanted to skin this man alive. Ieiri just sighed out, cleaning up her tools. "I've done what I can Kamo kun. Try to get more rest for tomorrow." He nodded, "Thank you Ieiri san."

"Wahhh, you got kicked around huh Noritoshi? You look all worn out. Ain't my students amazing?!" Satoru taunted.

CRACK. Satoru teleported a few meters away. The space where he was a few seconds ago was filled with ice and frost.

Your face was hard as stone as you said, "Noritoshi did amazing. He did his best to coordinate with his team members as he fought against 2 of his seniors. Okkotsu kun was just different as a Special Class. But of course you know all about that, Toru."

"Why so defensive Neko Chan? I didn't say your man didn't do well right?" He drawled.

You opened your mouth, eyes furrowed, ready to retort when Noritoshi pulled you to him, gently hushing you as he softly patted your back. "He's riling you up. It's okay, I've learned a lot from today. It's our loss."

You leaned into Noritoshi, "You're too nice to that dumbass."

"Hey! Anyways, I wanted to speak with the both of you. If you're done here let's go." Satoru motioned towards the door with his head.

Both of you turned to him, before looking at each other and nodding.

◇◇◇

Satoru led you both to his room. "So, how long has your soulmate bond been active?" He asked as he closed the door.

Noritoshi was surprised, "How did you know about this?"

You nudged him. "He's my family friend, he eventually found out." You lied for the sake of protecting the details of Satoru's six eyes ability.

Satoru removed his blindfold, revealing his crystalline like eyes. "Yup, don't worry your secret is safe with me. I'm surprised but not too surprised that it's the two of you." He sighed out.

You crossed your arms and sat on his bed. "What do you mean?" Noritoshi remained standing.

"Both of you are just so different. And I've known you both since before. I guess it just never crossed my mind that you'd be together.

A soulmate bond is incredibly rare and fragile as you know. And I guess it only fits since both of you are more complementary to each other rather than have similar personalities like twin flames.

I have the soulmate records of some from the Gojo clan if that would help. But Noritoshi, sorry I have to ask you not to share it with your family." He said.

Ahh. The Great 3 clans still hold their secrets. You turned to Noritoshi, worriedly looking for his reaction.

He had this internal war of obedience to his clan elders vs seeing you so close to Satoru and seeing another side of the Gojo and Tsuchimikado clans like this.

"Toshi, if you can't, it's okay, we don't need to read it." You said carefully. "I know how hard it is to keep secrets from family."

Noritoshi mulled it over. Satoru was actually sizing him up. Seeing his family friend get entangled with a great 3 clan's future head… he would be lying if he wasn't worried for you.

“I’m assuming that there might be some details or secrets of the Gojo clan involved in the diary entries, which is why you’re being wary of me. But you have offered to let me read it, which already shows a bit of trust. As a future clan head, I know the significance of keeping good relationships with the other clans and elders. And so, I promise not to tell anyone else of the details in the diary.” Nori said solemnly.

Satoru perked up at that and smiled, “There shouldn’t be a problem then. Here, you both can have a look. Return it to me tomorrow afternoon. I hope it can help with your situation. It must be scary not knowing anyone else to turn to for help with the bond.”

You felt touched by that, “Thank you Satoru.”

◇◇◇

That night, you slept over once more in Noritoshi’s room, reading the excerpts.

"A soulbond can be rejected?!" You both stared at the notebook in horror.

"That must be so painful… imagine shutting down your fated pair." You murmured, turning to Noritoshi.

He patted you and nodded. "Hey look at this." He pointed to another passage.

“Wow, they can really telepathically communicate with complete sentences, that’s insane.” You said in awe.

Noritoshi cozied up to your side, playfully nudging his head against yours. “You want that for us too someday angel?”

You turned and bumped your nose against his before kissing him. “Of course, I want to experience everything with you Noritoshi.”

Noritoshi’s heart skipped a beat or two at that. His pulse was irregular for once. What on earth was that feeling? He confusedly looked down at his chest and patted it. He checked his vitals with his technique, but everything was in order.

You worried over him, “Are you not feeling okay? You got hit in the chest earlier right? We can call it a night and rest, you need sleep for tomorrow’s individual battles.”

“Okay then. Let’s quickly skim the diary.” You both caught a few important details, like how strong trust and honesty can strengthen a soulbond.

After spending time with each other and having significant encounters (“What on earth does that mean?” Nori asked. “Maybe like notable events with each other” you supplied.) helps a couple to move forward from one stage of the bond to another.

Something caught Noritoshi's eye. Reverse cursed techniques and some other advanced techniques that usually can only be done on oneself can be applied to the other soulmate.

That made him wonder… if he could manipulate your blood. But he put that thought aside for next time, unwilling for you to be a subject of experiment.

After that you both went to bed. "I'm gonna have such a hard time sleeping alone after spending so much time in bed with you." You whined out.

He chuckled, "Then just stay over as often as you want to. I like sharing the bed with you. It's not like it's cramped for the both of us." He pressed his lips to your forehead as you kissed him on the neck.

His heart squeezed tightly once more. What was wrong with him?! He was used to having it speed up whenever he was around you and attributed it to regular attraction. But this was different. His chest was tight, almost painful, and it was getting harder to breathe.

"Okay then. No take backs." You smiled, before closing your eyes. Noritoshi watched the moonlight illuminate your features for a bit before falling asleep.

◇◇◇

The next day, the lots were out. They announced that it would be a duel between 2 students on top of thick, tall, vertical standing logs set in a small lake. First one to push the other off the logs and into the water or out of bounds wins. Momo senpai has a huge advantage with no handicap at this.

To your slight horror, Okkotsu Yuuta was matched against Noritoshi. You visibly paled, but he went up and squeezed your hand before he left for the event. “I’ll be okay.” He promised.

“Oh you will be okay. I’ll make sure of it.” You said determinedly, already planning to step in just in case Rika goes wild on Noritoshi. Your thoughts were cut as Nori poked your forehead.

“I can hear your thoughts. Have a little more faith in me.” He gave a small smile. You nodded dumbly.

You watched the matches. None of them were particularly eye-opening. Until it was time for Okkotsu to fight Noritoshi. You clasped your hands together in prayer, eyes and senses wide open.

“Ready, Start!” Satoru called out.

Noritoshi immediately fired arrows, which honed on Okkotsu even though he tried to dodge. Good technique. Okkotsu had some trouble keeping up with the arrows and Noritoshi quickly moved in to punch him hard.

But Okkotsu was quick on his feet, leaping back diagonally onto another log before slashing at Noritoshi with his Katana. It went on a bit like this. With both men trading blows back and forth. They had decent balance on top of the logs.

Until Noritoshi made a major move, “Blood Manipulation: Slicing Exorcism!” He cut down a huge number of logs in Okkotsu’s area.

Okkotsu barely held on, jumping to another log that was borderline about to collapse. The water was now dangerously filled with the sharp edges of cut wood.

Your eyes brightened, ‘Please win Toshi.’

Noritoshi moved in for the kill, “Red Flowing Scale”, the X mark appeared on his eye as he readied to knock Okkotsu off. Until the dark mass that had been hanging around Okkotsu screamed, making everyone wince. “Yuuutaaa! You’ll get hurt if you fall down now!”

Satoru had explained that Orimoto Rika was the Special Grade curse with overwhelming power. Rika made a half-manifestation, easily smacking Noritoshi away. But she hit him too hard on the head, sending him flying way past the little lake set up.

Everyone gasped and yelled in horror. You saw red.

He was going to hit the ground hard. You stood up, slowing down his body in midair as you blasted your way over to him. You caught him in time.

"Angel?" He looked up to see you, and his heart tightened again. Ah... this might be love.

"Shhh, it's alright Toshi. You've done really well. Don’t speak," You worriedly activated your Reverse Cursed Technique as you floated down to the ground, hugging Noritoshi tighter.

“Thank you for catching me.” He patted your arm weakly. Blood was streaming down his temples. Not a good sign. “Ieiri san!” You cried out, but she was already making her way towards the both of you.

“Winner! Okkotsu Yuuta!”

Your blood boiled, but you knew it was still Okkotsu’s win. ‘He didn’t have to be that harsh on Noritoshi.’ “Age doesn’t matter to Jujutsu sorcerers darling.” Noritoshi coughed out as though he could read your mind. “I said not to talk!” You worriedly scolded him.

Ieiri quickly activated her reverse cursed technique alongside yours. Hers was incredibly refined, easily sealing up Noritoshi’s popped blood vessels. “Infirmary.” She said, putting a brace around his neck just in case of any spinal injuries.

“I’m so sorry, Rika went overboard!” Okkotsu yelled out. He looked really worried and sincere. You shifted uncomfortably; the apology isn’t for you so you backed away. Noritoshi waved him off, “It’s okay. Thank you for the fight, Okkotsu kun.”

A few more apologies and words of thanks were exchanged before Noritoshi was sent to rest in the infirmary. Satoru caught you by the collar, “Stay until the end of the event. Shoko will take care of Noritoshi.”

You glumly nodded. To be honest, Okkotsu was really friendly, easily chatting with all of you. And you all were delighted, laughing hard when Rika beat the living shit out of Todo as he tried to harass Okkotsu for his ideal type. The Tokyo kids weren’t too bad.

◇◇◇

“Take care y/n!” Satoru hugged you tight as the Tokyo school students and staff readied to go home. “Thanks again for everything Satoru.” You already returned his diary to him in Noritoshi’s place. He was still resting up in the infirmary.

“Hey…. Have you ever considered transferring to Tokyo Jujutsu Tech?”

‘What?’

“No, why would I? Noritoshi and my family are here.” You were taken aback.

Satoru looked thoughtful, “I could teach you a lot, and honestly I’d love to have you as my student. You’re really strong y/n. Think about it. Later!” and walked off with the rest of them, leaving you at a loss for words.

◇◇◇

It’s been a while since you’ve been dating Noritoshi, and everything seemed a bit brighter. Like the sun seemed to be really strong, the flowers smelled so nice, the air currents seemed to bend a little more easily under the command of your technique.

'Is this the effect of our bond?' You wondered to yourself, but then quickly shook away the thoughts to focus on your task.

A few days have passed since the Goodwill event. You would be lying if you said you weren’t inspired by watching Okkotsu and Rika fight. Rika was just a force to be reckoned with.

Learning how to move well in mid-air was a challenge, but it wasn't impossible thanks to your inherited technique. Since you grew up mainly focusing on items around you and the four elements, you were still having some difficulty with some mobility techniques.

But there was something you’ve been itching to do. Aside from working on your cursed technique: reversal, domain expansion, extension techniques, etc., there was another special technique that ran in the family.

You remembered your father’s words: “Lightning is generated in the presence of both hot and cold air. You can manipulate molecules to generate both. But doing it simultaneously is the challenge. The ice shards in the cold air collide with the warm water particles in mid air, causing static electricity to form."

"That way, you separate positive and negative charges in a space. That is how you generate your electricity. Take particular care, because for this to happen, you need to master both your extension technique: Niflheim and technique reversal: Inferno.”

For personal reasons, you didn’t like using Inferno. Because the last time you successfully used it was when you were 6 years old and it caused a disaster. A memory which you’ve buried so far under everything else that you continuously try to forget about it.

But for the sake of the secret art, you will.

“Merging techniques… does any other jujutsushi do this…” You wondered.

You set up several targets of bamboo shoots and wood. “Niflheim.” You froze a target then took a deep breath before trying your reversed technique.

“Cursed Technique Reversal: Inferno.” You put out two hands and linked your thumb and ring finger in each hand together. One hand facing the other from above and below. Then a red light appeared as you encircled and swapped the positions of your hands.

This hand movement activates Inferno as the target immediately explodes from the rapid heat expanding the cooled target. Steam and smoke billowed out. You let out a slow breath. So you can still do it even after all these years.

“Special Art: Goldenrod.” You manipulated Inferno in one palm and Niflheim in the other. Your left hand had your ring and thumb still linked together. While your right hand uses the 4 pointer hand position designed for Niflheim.

At first it just made small explosions of steam. Your hands got really sore from the back and forth temperature control.

This is where it gets tricky. Goldenrod has to be activated within your hands. So you also guard your hands against the drastic temperatures with your cursed energy, as you do when you control fire.

It hasn't worked out so far. Maybe you simply had to condense the molecules. You condensed them further and started seeing small sparks of lightning.

Your eyes widened in joy. You tried activating it once more with more cursed energy, only for a huge bolt of lightning to shoot out from your hands and destroy a large amount of targets. There was a loud crack of thunder.

You didn’t expect the energy to be this high as you were pushed back from the force. The air was knocked out from your lungs as you hit the ground hard.

“I think I need help. Maybe Satoru nii can...” you wondered to yourself. ‘Is it worth bothering him over something like this…’ With a shock, you realized you were actually considering his words to transfer to Tokyo Jujutsu High. “No way.” You laughed it off with uncertainty.

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

[the-most-fuckable-druid]

This is n updated version of a small little series of log entries i posted on my old blog. It's a series of log entries, written by a protogen who's trapped on a ship drifting in space

WARNING: PROTOGEN VER. 8.2.1 ENTERING EMERGENCY SURVIVAL MODE. RUNNING BASIC SYSTEMS DIAGNOSIS....

VITAL SIGNS: NOMINAL

HEART RATE: 125 BPM

BASIC DIAGNOSTIC COMPLETE

Personal log 1:

This is a personal log i am keeping in order to keep me from going insane out here in space, they say talking to yourself is actually a pretty good way to keep grounded. Approximately three standard hours ago, a chunk of unidentified space debris struck my shuttle, taking out three of my six thrusters and stranding me in space. The closest star is way too far away to take an escape pod to, so i have to stay here for the time being. This ship is a freighter designed  to accommodate like ten people and is stocked with enough provisions to last a crew of five for roughly three months, so at least i won't starve anytime soon.

PROTOGEN VER. 8.2.1 AUTOMATIC ROUTINE DIAGNOSTIC: MINOR BRUISING DETECTED NEAR ABDOMEN. SUGGESTED TREATMENT: LIMIT PHYSICAL ACTIVITY.  ALL OTHER SYSTEMS NOMINAL

personal log 2: power is draining faster than expected, had to seal off the unused crew quarters to conserve power. Either the generator is offline or this ship uses more power than i realized

PROTOGEN VER. 8.2.1 AUTOMATIC ROUTINE DIAGNOSTIC: MINOR INCREASE IN STRESS, MINOR MALNUTRITION

personal log 3: had to route power away from the lighting system to keep oxygen production online, currently recording this in the dark. The only light i have is from my own visor, and the rhythmic flashing of the emergency lights.

PROTOGEN VER. 8.2.1 AUTOMATIC ROUTINE DIAGNOSTIC: MINOR LACERATION ON LEFT HAND, RUST DEVELOPING IN RIGHT LEG JOINT CONNECTOR, RECOMMENDED IMMEDIATE CLEANING

Personal log 4: i had to abandon my quarters. I took what i could carry with me and am now sleeping in the control room. According to the control console, I'm gonna have to reroute power again if the emergency generator doesn't kick in soon.

PROTOGEN VER. 8.2.1 AUTOMATIC ROUTINE DIAGNOSTIC: RISE IN STRESS, INCREASED PROBABLY OF DEVELOPING ANXIETY DISORDER, MINOR MALNUTRITION, MINOR ABRASIONS ON ALL LIMBS CONSISTENT WITH CLOTHING RELATED SKIN IRRITATION

personal log 5: had to route power away from the artificial gravity generator to keep the oxygen production online, I'm currently recording this while floating above the control room's center console. I'll need to make another run to the cafeteria tomorrow, i ran out of the food i had stockpiled

PROTOEN VER. 8.2.1 AUTOMATIC ROUTINE DIAGNOSTIC: MINOR MALNUTRITION, TWO BROKEN TOES

personal log 6: despite there not being gravity on the ship anymore, a malfunctioning door still managed to slam shut on my foot. Self diagnostic says it broke two toes, I'm lucky it didn't just outright crush my foot into paste. If that malfunctioning door is any indicator, power isn't going to last much longer with a generator.

[logical-little-lies]

Playtime or Bedtime?- Agere!Sides AU (pt. 37)

A/N: So basically I logged off, didn’t write agere stuff for a bit, and realized all of my agere-related fanfiction definitely needed updated. Here’s a cute little set-aside chapter about Little Virgil+ Caregiver Roman, that kinda steps away from the main darkside plot. Cute, short, and simple. I hope you guys like it! (It’s only around 1200 words, shorter than most of the other chapters in this series)

--

"Dada, play! Pleaseeee!" Virgil was definitely a little bigger than he usually was while regressed. He was also very playful, to say the least.

"Baby, it's bedtime, come on." Roman knew Virgil to not defy him much at all, so he expected that he'd be able to push bedtime just a little bit, and Virgil would give in. Virgil sat on his knees in his bed. He wore his day clothes still, which was his light purple onesie paired with black overalls.

"Dada pretty," Virgil stood up on the bed, distracting himself and putting his hand on Roman's face. He shyly complimented Roman a lot, just because Roman is who he had to look up to while little, and he found it nice to compliment him. Roman thought it was very sweet.

"Thank you very much baby. Now lets get you out of these overalls and brush your teeth!" Roman wrapped his arms around Virgil's waist, so that the boy faced him and couldn't move much.

"Don't wanna!" he whined, managing to wiggle out of his arms and go to the other side of the bed. He bounced in place after sitting down, giggling a bit.

"Darling, don't you wanna cuddle and listen to your baby music? And I could even tell you a story!" Roman offered, thinking the extra story would make him agree.

"Oh..." Virgil gave a pout, thinking for a moment.

"We will have all the time in the world tomorrow to play together, baby bat! For now though, playtime is over," Roman said, coming over and sitting next to Virgil. He wrapped his arm around Virgil's shoulder. Virgil pushed his arm off and crossed his own arms.

"No."

Roman almost had the urge to laugh, just from some sort of shock. He looked at Virgil, processing his actions and trying to determine if that was real.

"What was that, honey?" Roman spoke softly and sweetly, trying to remain caring and restrain from being overly harsh on the boy.

"No, no, no! Not sleepy!" he shouted, getting off the bed and running to hide behind something. He settled on his closet door, not shutting it completely and only peeking out behind it a little.

"Virgil, do we shout when we get upset?" Roman asked simply.

"Um...no?" Roman heard Virgil's high pitched voice from behind the closet door. He was hoping he'd be able to coax him out without having to force him to get out.

"That's right. I understand that you want to play, and that you don't feel sleepy, but you know the rules. If you really don't feel tired yet, we can run a bath and let you play in there. Baths always make you sleepy," Roman was having a hard time scolding him at all.

"But I thought it was bedtime?" Virgil peeked his head out more, his face showing fear and guilt.

"Yes, it is. But a small bath is always good, and it wouldn't take long."

Virgil looked down, nodding.

"Baby, come here please." Roman shifted, opening his arms with a motion. Virgil slowly came out, going back over to the bed and sanding in front of Roman. Roman gave a light nod, and he climbed up into his lap.

"Remember what we talked about?" Roman questioned.

"Um...about how I should tell you how I feel so that we can make co..comp-compromises?" he stumbled over the last word, and Roman nodded.

'That's right, baby. You being playful and not wanting to sleep yet is understandable, but if you were to tell me that you just weren't tired yet, maybe I would've offered the bath before you snapped at me." Roman could tell  Virgil was getting to that point where he felt overly guilty, he got the same way when he was little.

The difference was, Roman was bratty all the time, and usually it was direct acts of defiance, and it took him longer to get to that guilty stage. Virgil, however, rarely broke rules, and when he did, it was almost always him not knowing how to communicate his feelings or what he wanted. He'd snap, or stomp his foot, or just not listen because Roman wasn't understanding him, or he was mad and didn't know how else to show it. And for Virgil, that after-state of guilt and regret comes immediately.

"So next time what are you gonna try to do better?" Roman asked, looking at Virgil, who was in his lap. Roman has assumed Virgil was just trying to avoid going to bed to keep playing, but he did know that Virgil did have genuine issues sleeping well, and that sometimes he just wasn't tired. In those cases, he needed help getting sleepy. It was hard to tell the difference between Virgil just wanting to play, and him probably not being tired enough to actually sleep yet.

"Tell you that I'm not sleepy yet and that..and dat-" Virgil cut himself off, sniffling, obviously trying to choke back tears. He looked down. Roman wrapped his arms around his waist and squeezed him into a soft hug. He kissed the side of Virgil's head.

"Oh, Vee. I love you so much, you know that, right?" he sighed, looking at him. If the boy felt so guilty over one little shout and a few bratty actions, then Roman probably didn't have to worry about much other behavioral issues in the future. Virgil nodded, rubbing beneath his eyes.

"Daddy mad?" he mumbled, looking down and putting his hands on top of Roman's. The soft innocence in his voice had Roman feel bad for even trying to push bedtime so much in the first place.

"Daddy isn't mad at you, Baby Bat. I promise," Roman let Virgil take his hand into his and start fiddling with it. He would take one finger at a time and lightly squeeze it, or tap it, or rub a pattern. It was something for him to do to help calm down anxiety. Logan had mentioned multiple times that this probably meant that Little Virgil needed some sort of stimming toy, or just something he was able to fiddle with when he got nervous. Roman knew he was probably right, especially when Janus spoke up too, but Big Virgil always insisted that it wasn't needed.

"Pwomise?" Virgil's voice was very much littler. He looked up with glossy eyes at Roman.

"I'm not even upset, Little Angel." Roman felt Virgil melt into his touch more.

"I in trouble?" he asked, looking down at Roman's hands again and continuing to fiddle with his fingers.

Roman looked at him, "No, baby. Remember your rule list?"

Virgil nodded a bit. "Your only two punishments are timeouts and talking to me about what you did, which we've already done. You're not in trouble anymore, baby."

Virgil seemed relieved at that, leaning into Roman's touch more. "Now, how does that bath sound?" Roman questioned. Virgil giggled as Roman lifted him up and put him on his feet.

Roman was right, a quick bubble bath, with kids strawberry scented body wash, was enough to make Virgil sleepy. He played in the bubbles, and giggled a lot when Roman told him not to splash to much. And before either of them knew it, Virgil was cuddled up next to Roman, fast asleep.. 

And neither of them would wish for anything more.

[hajimes-erect-ahoge]

Death Should Not Have Taken Thee!- Chapter 1

Shuichi Saihara. 22. College graduate. Works at his uncle's detective agency. Known on MonoQuest as Blueberry97.

Kokichi Ouma. 23. Didn't go to college. Works at the local supermarket. Known on MonoQuest as Princesex69.

Both boys live in the same town but have never met, due to their different backgrounds. However, they play a popular MMORPG called MonoQuest together, and become guild partners for almost a year. When Blueberry97 asks to meet Princesex69 in real life, they find out more about each other than they had ever expected.

Also, Ouma's MonoQuest avatar is a girl. Confusion ensues.

~~~~~~~~~~

An MMO au based off of adiazrue's au on instagram! Please go check out their art it's amazing!

Check out my Tumblr @hajimes-erect-ahoge for updates and if you want to talk ideas! (please talk to me about this fic i have no idea where I'm going with this lol)

don't take the title too seriously no one's gonna die I just wanted to do a vocaloid reference

ao3

9:57 pm.

Ouma groaned as he looked at his watch, anxiously waiting until his shift ended. Just three more minutes and he would be free to do as he pleased, leaving the supermarket’s duties to the other workers.

Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed an older lady with short, dark hair settling her items onto the checkout belt. With the most insincere grin plastered on his face that he could muster, he began scanning and bagging her items while his mind drifted off.

A fantasy world filled with monsters and dungeons, available to anyone with a working computer! The world of MonoQuest awaits you!

The jingle of Ouma’s current obsession- a video game called MonoQuest- echoed in his head as he helped the woman check out.

MonoQuest was Ouma’s place to freely be himself, letting loose and having fun in a fantasy world. The lush gardens, the sparkling rivers and the spooky monster-ridden caves were all ever so enticing, but one aspect stood out above all the rest: his guild partner, Blueberry97. True to his name, his avatar was mostly blue in color, except for his light green eyes that stood out effortlessly.

Ouma’s own avatar, however, was mostly decorated with a lavender color, bordering on pink. With long hair tied up in two ponytails and a frilly dress, his avatar was undeniably female, despite him being, well, not a female. Not like it mattered anyway, as Ouma was perfectly content with his avatar being the way it was.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Ouma rang up the woman’s total for her purchase and helped her load the bags into her cart.

“Have a nice day!” the woman chirped, leading Ouma to respond with a short nod. Noticing that it was just past ten o’clock, he placed the closed sign over his aisle and made his way out from behind the counter. It didn’t take long for him to clock out of work and start his drive home.

----------

Ouma entered the apartment hurriedly, tossing his keys onto the counter. Kiibo was already asleep by now since he tended to go to bed early, and Iruma was still at work, meaning Ouma was basically alone in their shared apartment.

Sparing no hesitation, he made his way to his bedroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He sat down at his desk and started up his computer, his hand gliding over the mouse. Within minutes he had successfully opened up MonoQuest, typing in his username, Princesex69. Spawning in the plaza of the town, it didn’t take long for a message to appear on the side of his screen from his guild partner.

@Blueberry97

Hey! Wanna go on a quest together? I picked up a new side quest together and I wanted to try it out with you! :) 

Ouma smiled at the message and began typing quickly.

@Princesex69

Only if you promise to be my knight in shining armor if things go bad! TT

@Blueberry97

Of course, princess! Meet me in the forest by the village and I’ll be there to protect you!

@Princesex69

Omw!

Moving as quickly as possible, Ouma dashed over to the forest outside of the village to meet his guild partner. He spotted him waiting right by the entrance, his familiar blue avatar standing in contrast to the green of the forest.

“Princess!” Blueberry97 jogged up to Princesex69, greeting her eagerly. “You made it!”

“Of course! Who do you think I am?” She grinned smugly at him, twirling one of her ponytails between her fingers.

He smiled warmly at her, “Shall we get going?”

She nodded and walked into the forest with him, the two of their avatars standing in close proximity to one another.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in here before…” the princess mused, looking up at the trees towering up above them.

“Me neither…” Blueberry97 responded, “I think they added this forest in the new update.”

Princesex69 hummed in agreement, continuing to walk with her guild partner.

Suddenly, an arm was thrust in front of her, preventing her from walking any further.

“Princess, watch out!” the young knight shouted in alarm, bringing the princess out of her daze.

She immediately looked forward, noticing a particularly angry group of forest goblins standing a few feet away from them.

“Stay back!” he shouted, preparing to fight them off.

The princess contemplated joining him in his endeavors- she wasn’t helpless, after all- but he had eliminated the goblins in the blink of an eye.

“Wow! How brave of you to protect me from danger! I guess you really <i>are</i> a knight after all!” she gushed.

The knight blushed, turning to face the princess. “I-I’m still in training, you know… I don’t really consider myself a full-fledged knight.”

The princess thought to herself for a moment before responding, “Hmm, whatever you say, I guess! But that was toooootally heroic of you to save me like that!” She tilted her head innocently, noticing the way that the knight’s blush deepened at her words.

“I, uh, I guess so…” he stammered.

“Now come on!” She pulled on his arm, leading him deeper into the forest. “We’ve still got a bunch more monsters to kill!”

He smiled and nodded, following the princess into the depths of the mysterious forest.

----------

“Whew! That was sooooo much work! I’m totally beat!” Princesex69 groaned, sitting on the ground next to the river. Blueberry97 followed suit, sitting cross-legged by the edge of the river.

“Me too…” he looked over at the princess, who was gazing into the distance over the river.

She looked beautiful like that, the knight thought. Spending time with her was truly exhilarating, and was completely different than spending time with the other guild members. They were partners, after all, but there’s more to it than just that. He felt like he was exceptionally close to the princess, and he wanted to know more and more about her. If only…

“What’s on your mind?” Blueberry97 jumped at the sudden question, clearly startled. “You’ve been staring at me for the past few moments. It’s getting kind of creepy…”

“Ah, sorry!” he apologized.

“Just kidding! I’m used to it by now! All part of being a beautiful princess in a magical fantasy world!” She smiled cheekily at him, causing him to chuckle.

“Actually, there is something on my mind.” he swallowed, hoping it would help in getting rid of the nervous pit in his stomach. He stood up slowly, grabbing the princess by the hand of helping her up as well.

“It’s been a year since we’ve become guild partners. I’ve had a lot of fun playing with you, but… I want more. I want to meet you in real life!” He clenched his fists, looking at her with determined eyes. “Please! I want to know the real you!”

The princess stood there in stunned silence, not exactly sure what to say. She hesitated to speak, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet in order to dissipate some of her nervous energy.

“I, uh…” she stammered.

“I’m sorry, princess, I…!” Blueberry97 apologized, “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m…”

“N-No, don’t apologize! It’s just…” she paused, still unsure of herself. “I have to go! I’ll talk to you tomorrow! Bye!”

And just like that, Princesex69 logged out of MonoQuest. Blueberry97 stood there, taken aback by her sudden disappearance. He sighed to himself, looking down at the ground.

“...See you tomorrow…”

----------

Ouma flopped down onto his bed, promptly screaming into his pillow. How could he do that? He just left his guild partner hanging, without even giving him a proper response to his offer. How could he be so stupid?”

He lifted himself up from the pillow, turning himself over so that he was laying down on his back. Staring at the ceiling in the pitch black darkness, he cursed himself for being such a coward.

Why did I have to log out so fast? Why didn’t I tell him that I wanted to meet him in real life too? It’s not like I don’t want to meet him, it’s just…

Ouma sighed, balling his hands into fists.

Everything is all my fault… I should’ve never made my stupid avatar a girl in the first place… that way I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit…

The truth was, Ouma did want to meet Blueberry97 in real life. Hell, he wanted it more than anything. But he was almost certain that he would want nothing to do with him after finding out that he wasn’t a beautiful young girl and instead a short and immature boy with a penchant for mischief.

He rolled over in bed, closing his eyes in an attempt to force himself to sleep. He could deal with this tomorrow, or whenever the next time he logged onto MonoQuest was…

Or not.

[waxingm00n]

food ish log: 4/13/21

so my limit for the day was 1300 and I ate that exactly. I found some good low cal snacks so I wasnt super hungry all day and that was nice I also drank a shit ton of water. dinner was kinda weird cause my mom made my favorite but there was no option for it in my calorie counter so I guessed so honestly it is very possible I went over my limit for the day but I don't wanna think about that soooooo🧍🏼‍♀️🤚. I burned about 587cals today at track and my normal exercise so since I didn't have p.e. today I'm gonna do at least 2 of my HIIT dance work out things. I hope I see progress tomorrow again if I don't I'll probably fast untill practice. sooooooooooo

1300-587= 713

I'll update before I sleep with how many I've burnt then

UPDATE: I have now burnt 1307 cals if my counter is to be believed so that means if I counted everything right my body is running on -7cals 😀

[iguessthatthisisitfornow]

Med log Day 2

Sup bitches i live. It is day 2. I did not sleep well last night. Last night i struggled to get to sleep due to the nausea, headache, and my poor excuse of a sleeping schedule. Got maybe three hours of sleep, but the good news is I'm probably gonna sleep well tonight! It's been probably 9 hours since I took the meds, and i only have my usual minor end of the day headache which is good. I took my meds when I got up and the first hour and half was really productive on the chore side of things. Finally brought my lamp upstairs, cleaned a table, loaded AND started the dishwasher, cleaned up my room a bit, and even had a few social victories too! And then i ate breakfast, and everything changed. My uncle's girlfriend made me a delicious breakfast, and I'm so thankful for it it was amazing, but pretty quickly afterwards it was like i didn't take the meds at all? I did some research and so much of that breakfast was really vitamin C heavy, and that apparently does not go well with my prescription? I mostly blame the juice though. But I still got a lot of things done, so i cant be too disappointed.

When I took my second dose of the day I really noticed the difference not only from the morning, but also from yesterday. I didn't experience any head pressure, and i don't have a headache now, so I'm thinking that was a unique happening so far. After the second dose i got more shit done, including a full project for my game design class and started on another one! I also mowed the lawn, and that was a bitch, but i did it. I even got my laundry done and made a shopping list for when I run errands. I did a LOT of scheduling too, updating the communal calendar and my planner. I even remembered to text my neighbour.

Sadly, I'm still horrible at remembering things, especially what I've done earlier in the day, but I can only hope for so much. I did notice that I remembered a few things that i very likely would of forgotten before, so there is improvement! Still feeling calm which is nice, and i notice it especially when interacting with other people.

Tomorrow is going to be rough though, as my uncle is having friends over and i have to socialize, which I'm kinda uncomfortable doing with seniors and there adult children. Ngl, really hate the friend's son, so I'm crossing my fingers that i don't accidentally say something i should of kept to myself. If worst comes to worst, I'm feeling pretty confident that if I say I'm feeling not great my uncle will let me leave so there's that.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm gonna need to take my iron supplements at night instead of the morning since foods that go well with them hate the new meds, but that probably won't be much of a problem.

I'm also definitely noticing the lack of appetite as a side affect. Realized about 5 minutes into writing this that all i had was breakfast at like 7 am and then a slice of bread at like 6, so I'll have to go eat after this. I'm really use to not eating regularly/eating only when my body goes 'bitch you need to eat', so this is probably going to be the biggest adjustment i have to make

I'm keeping a more detailed log physically that i plan to keep updating in the morning when I wake up since I'm too tired at the end of the day to actually write currently, but logging it, vaguely, here helps reinforce the memory so i don't forget as soon as I fall asleep lol

Overall: tired, hopeful, grateful, and a little bit hungry

(just remembered that i need to check the restaurant we're going to tomorrow's menu so i don't have a repeat of this morning, last minute much ? Haha)

[silentexplorer18]

I’m alive: an update

Hey everybody! Long time no see.

This is gonna be a bit of a long post, just gonna throw a read more here for all the mobile users who don’t want an eternal post on their dashes every time they log on.  TLDR at the bottom.

I notice there are asks in my inbox and notifications in my activity thing, and I want you to know that I see that there are things for me and that people have been interacting, and I appreciate it.  I’ll be looking at/responding to everything as I’m able to.

I’m back in school and, honestly, I’m a dead gal walking.  I’ve been gone for a month(?) and this is the first night that I’ve really had a “break” to do something other than school.  I’m loving some of my classes, hating others, I’m sure you all know how that goes.

Right now, I’m trying to get back on my feet and get adjusted to the radical ways my life has changed in the last several weeks/months.  When things hopefully (dear god, hopefully) stabilize in my life a little bit, I’m hoping to be able to balance some self care (and writing!) with the myriad of other things I’m dealing with.

In the last month, I’ve missed reading stuff on here so much.  Y’all, go send @slytherinbarnes and @stuckonspidey some love for me because I’m seriously missing Sub Rosa and it echoes through so much.

(Oh my gosh, Lilly, you’ve finished the sequel and I’m so far behind! 😭  My heart! I can’t wait to read and find out what happens! And, obviously, you were gonna finish it, but here’s a high five for finishing it because writing’s hard and authors deserve more support!)

(And Sb!  You’re already on season 3??? I’m so far behind and I’ve got so much amazing writing to catch up on!  And I swear if we’re still in the slow burn stage I will be having a word with you!  I’m so impressed with how far you’ve gotten; I feel like I blinked and you made it through season 2.  I can’t wait to read it!)

It’s going to be very hard to go back to schoolwork tomorrow and not binge both of these series.

Also go check out the Very Harry Potter Summer’s Masterlist because there are a lot of great fics on there and I’m so mad school started during that because there’s so many fics on that list that I wanna read and haven’t had time to yet!

As for me writing, I have a stack of WIPs I’m going to start nibbling on when school permits.  It’s probably going to be a hot minute until I post another fic (she says as though she’s posted much since Christmas...), but I do have lots of ideas in my writer hat that I just have to actually, you know, write.  I have two that I’m loving but I have no bloody clue where they’re going (one being Draco x kind of an OC and the other being Drarry).  But there’s a stack.  More google docs than I dare count.  So I promise that eventually (slowly) there will be things coming.

For a while I was honestly really stressed that I wasn’t writing and posting fics, but the truth is, I just like writing, and when I get to finishing a piece, I’ll get to it.  There’s no point worrying or stressing over something that’s meant to be fun.

I hope all of you are staying healthy and safe.  I think school has started for a lot of people right now, so I’m wishing you all the best with your semesters!  Try to do as I say and not as I do lol.  Practice self care, drink water, stop for meals, stretch, get sleep, tend to your mental health.

TW covid: As cases continue to rise where I am, I want to remind everyone to remember to practice safe hygiene practices like washing your hands, social distancing, and wearing masks properly!  Just because you may not become critically ill doesn’t mean that everyone around you won’t.

There’s probably more things that I was meaning to include in this, but it’s late, I’m tired, I’ve misspelled so much on this post already, and I think I’m gonna cut it here for the night.

I’m sending all of you love and good vibes.  Take care of yourselves, and I hope to talk to all of you again soon.

-Silent

TLDR: I’m still around, but school is a monster of work right now.  Hopefully soon I’ll have a balance figured out so I can practice self care and start writing again.  I’m slowly working on WIPs and eventually those will be posted.  So in the meantime go read Sub Rosa and it echoes through (both linked above) by Sb and Lilly because they’re awesome and their work deserves kudos.  Take care of yourselves and good luck to everyone starting school.  I’m wishing you all well! -S

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 184

September 11 

I got my MPRE score today, exactly one month to the day after taking the test. To be honest, I'd sort of forgotten that scores were due to come out around this time, so it was a surprise to see the notice in my email early this morning. I logged in right away (after having to do two screens of security update bullshit because apparently our MPRE scores are srs bsns) and found that I scored a 127. I then immediately had to do a Google search because I had no idea what a passing MPRE score is in general, much less in Virginia. Turns out an 85 will get you through the door in VA, so that gave me a pretty nice cushion. It did, in fact, put me just outside the top fifth percentile which is an accomplishment that no one in the world ever will care about. But hey, I crushed that test, so good for me! Now I can become a real lawyer and actually have to get serious about sending out resumes! 

I woke up sore this morning after sleeping tangled in my CPAP hose and earbud cords and barely being able to move all night. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it, nothing to do with the many hours I spent on the couch with an ipad yesterday!) In any case, I cued up some yoga on YouTube on the Xbox and the kiddo and I stretched out during his morning school break. It was definitely helpful and I really ought to do a lot more of it. I did fall asleep during savasana at the end because it autoplayed some very soothing music after the video ended, but that was okay. The kiddo is deeply resistant to mindfulness exercises or self-regulation routines, but he sat down for yoga with me with no prompting. It would be nice if we could do it together more often. 

The big event this afternoon was going out and picking up the kiddo's new loft bed/desk combo. I was able to get a nice one secondhand for 200 dollars, we just had to go pick it up in the pickup truck and find instructions for it online. It took a long time to get all the big pieces up the stairs and it is now strewn all over our living room. Tomorrow the kiddo and I will make a big project of taking down the twin bed (not a big deal because it's a mattress-in-a-box mattress and a folding frame), moving the bookshelves and setting up the new bedframe. The mattress I ordered will not arrive until Monday, but the kiddo has literally slept on the floor for months except the past week or so, so I think he will handle a mattress on the floor for a couple of days. We're rearranging the whole room all at once, it's gonna look very good when we're done. But it's going to be a buttload of work. It's a good thing we only rearrange our furniture once in several blue moons, except that the poor kid is still stuck with the dresser I bought him before he was born. That's next on the agenda, if I can find a deal. 

[2coasts1girl]

But I just rented Hocus Pocus..

Monday, October 14, 11:02PM: “What are you doing? Get dressed. We are going to *disclosed rapper’s name* party.” My response “but I just rented Hocus Pocus” clearly did not work well as I writing this at 9AM running on zero sleep and my third cup of coffee.

Now let me explain. Only in New York do you get a text inviting you to one of the most famous rapper’s, if not the most, party on a casual October Monday night. As my mom says, “you need to say yes to more things” so in this case, I got ready in 0.0004 seconds and headed to meet the group downtown. I most certainly do not have the clout to be on the 50 person guest list to this party however, I have learned to keep most relationships I make in the city, strictly friendly and professional which is why I am guessing I was one of the only girls at the party without a cover over their phones’ cameras. If you only learn one thing from reading this, stay for one drink or one hour, never ask for things because most of the time they will ask for something in return, you respect celebrities’ and athletes’ space and remember it is okay to say no to situations you do not want to be in or feel uncomfortable. Trust me, this will take you far in life and relationships because you will be extremely respected.

So back to the night. I was unsure what the plan was and definitely was not prepared for how it ended up unfolding but I went in with an open mind and a few shots deep. As I got out of the suburban in front of the lounge, paparazzi swarmed the car as if someone who had a blue check next to their name was getting out. Sorry to let you down but I’m positive that when you search my name to log the photo on Getty Images, nothing is going to show up so your picture is worthless. Four staircases underground later, we walk into a very small, dim lit room where Instagram models and athletes were considered C list celebrities in. I headed straight to my comfort zone, the bar, where I ordered 4 shots of 42 for my friends and I. He will never read this but if suddenly this blog blows up, thanks for the open bar even though I am feeling very fragile as I am typing this. My friends know several guys in this specific individuals crew so our place at the party ended up being where the “crew” was posted up at, which did not suck. I have met and worked with this rapper several times for work and each time he has been extremely respectful and humble so when his surprising embrace when he saw me did not entirely shock me but I think I might have peed just a little. He smelled like Le Labo’s Noir and I did not want to let go but I did because 99.9% of the females in attendance were trying to be the subject of his next album. My parents would kill me if I was part of that percentage so I had to deal with the 0.01%, which ended up working in my favor. The rapper’s “friend” or I have now come to find out, best friend, and I had been making eye contact for a while before he approached me with a cringeworthy pickup line; so bad that the rapper overheard and had to intervene to help his boy out. By no means am I attracted to this individual so I probably came off as uninterested which is why I am now looking at my text messages with the first message being “come on ____’s plane to LA tomorrow morning, there’s no WiFi so we gonna bond.” Going back to my one life lesson about one drink or one hour, I definitely had more than one drink and stayed much longer than one hour, both of which I am paying for now. In my 4:45AM Uber home I received a text telling me to turn the car around and to meet said rapper and the best friend at a diner downtown. I don’t know what is more of a red flag, that I have no idea how this human got my phone number or that this man is inviting me to get breakfast with them at 5AM on a Tuesday morning. Normal people don’t do this, normal people are in bed at 11PM on a work night, but you are sure as hell I updated the app to that hole-in-the-wall diner. And that basically brings you up to full speed. I now have a stomach full of eggs and pancakes and got a ride to work this morning. And no that does not mean the friend came upstairs; breakfast lasted so long that the only option was to be driven home so I could grab my bag and a change of clothes in 15 minutes to make it to work on time.

As you can imagine, I am still at a loss of words at my night but at the same time, I am humbled because I am now sitting at my desk at work, writing this, significantly hungover, smiling my face off. I have to give credit to my mom because when I was growing up and on the mornings when I did not want to go to school after work trips or events that she brought me to, she would say “you got to party like a rockstar this weekend but in order to do these things we have to get up and work hard.” So thanks mom, you are saving my very limited PTO. Even though I wish that I slept, my night was just a little better than watching Hocus Pocus.

Tuesday, October 15, 4:20PM: As I am reviewing this entry to post, I get a text from the best friend inviting me out once again but this time to the Post Malone concert and another party following. And you know what the fuck I did, say thank you for the invite but no thanks and took my ass to sleep at 7PM. It is okay to say no to someone, fomo will not kill you, even if its with wheel chair Jimmy.

[whumpqhs]

Whumptober alt #6: Lost

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

"Looks like he's going to make it."

The words shouldn't have made her happy. Looking down at the guard as his eyes started to blink open, she should have felt like a failure, but the shame just wouldn't come. She shifted over a little so that, still kneeling at his side, she could ease one of his heavy arms over her shoulders. Across from her, another medic did the same. They counted together, and lifted together, voices in unison: "One, two, three." Suddenly the dead body on the floor was standing and stumbling, with a lot of help, over to the nearest medical bed. Assessing him and hanging his fluids from something other than her shoulder was a fantastic way not to have to think. She knew what to do for this patient, and right now, that was all that was important.

"We need labs. CBC, CMP, and troponin and creatinine levels. Whatever you have on the formulary for an NSAID, too, in case I'm right. Looks like an MI but we need the tests to know for sure..." She helped them as they repositioned him in bed, moving him up and covering him with blankets, giving orders as if she were still back home. He was hazy, out of it. She patted his shoulder. "We've got you, man, we're doing everything possible to help you. How's your pain?"

"Re... really bad..."

"Yeah? Like what number?" She looked across the bed to the one who'd been helping her lift and transfer. "Hey, I need morpha, and a syringe."

"Here."

The way they just handed it to her should've made her uneasy. It should've signaled something, the way they trusted her. It didn't. All it signaled in that moment was that she could help her patient not hurt so much. "Pushing two units and hanging the rest as a driver, as soon as I draw off these labs—you got vials?"

"Here."

“Thanks. They don’t let me put stuff in my pockets… I don’t even know if I can chart on him, he’s a guard.”

“I’ll get it. Next time, we’ll trade, and I’ll be on his IV side, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Next time.

The effect was almost instantaneous: as she pushed the first dose, her patient started to relax, settling down. His heart rate dropped into normal limits. Sonora couldn’t contain a smile as she hung the remainder of the syringe and keyed the flow rate into his IV pump. Her mind was calm and, despite her moral objections, awash with the familiar, soft, effervescent feeling of a good code winding down. Stepping away to scrub out brought her right in front of Keeper, and she expected some kind of harsh correction as he reached toward her.

His hand settled on her shoulder, soft pressure, no pain. “Good job, Epi.”

Epi.

This was bad.

But it didn’t feel bad… it felt good. She felt like she was flying, veins rushing with adrenaline, like she was doing what she was always meant to do. Who cared about a guard? He’d finish his career in this place, especially after what looked like a massive heart attack. That was a life, wasn’t it? She saved a life.

A Republic life.

Who was he before he was a prison guard? Did he see active duty? Did he kill Imperials, like her? Whose revenge could it have been if she’d let him go? But even as they walked her down to the break room and let her get crappy junk food out of the vending machine, like a real person, she couldn’t make herself feel bad. Bad wasn’t the right word. Even later, when it started to change from a good feeling to a bad one, it wasn’t guilt that crept in. It wasn’t shame, either; it was something cold and empty.

Loneliness. She’d never felt so far from other people, so directionless and utterly lost. Who was she? She couldn’t be Republic. She couldn’t bring herself to defect, not even after saving one of theirs. Was she really Imperial anymore, after today? Did living here as a prisoner count as being under duress? Even if it did count, would Intelligence believe her that she hadn’t wanted to do it? Would they believe her when she said she regretted those compressions? How could they, when she didn’t even believe the words herself? She walked to the door of her cell and knocked, determined to get her mind off of this.

“Yeah?” It was one of the other medics this time, not a guard or an SIS agent. She recognized him: he’d been in on the code. Perfect.

“I forgot to chart something. Can I borrow a datapad?” “Forgot” was the pleasant word for how Keeper had dragged her off the floor and insisted on her getting some rest. Although, she’d slept another ten hours after he forced her to drop her charting and go, so she had to admit he was a little bit right.

“I have to watch you,” he warned.

“Yeah, of course.” She nodded, and took it when it was handed over. But as she settled down, she noticed that he wasn’t insisting on being able to see the screen. She typed in the guard’s name from before, and sighed dramatically at the lockout screen that popped up.

“What’s going on?”

“Oh, you know. Access denied, all that. This is so frustrating, I forgot to get any of my documentation in… and now…”

“Here, let me see.” She handed it over to him, watching as he typed in some kind of override code and passed it back. “There you go, should work fine now.”

The guard’s chart came up without a problem. She grinned. “Thanks!”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Unfortunately, charting didn’t take that long, and the loneliness came right back as soon as her mind was free. She signed off on the note, checked the lab values—the most recent round wasn’t back yet, but the initial set pointed to cardiac arrest—and was about to log out and hand it back when she noticed the treatment team listed.

Her name was there, but so were his nurses from the previous shift… his attending provider… and Keeper’s face, next to his designation, Rongeur, and a string of abbreviations. She clicked on it, and his file opened up instead. It took a lot of restraint not to gasp. Sonora carefully scrolled down, looking through the notes, commendations, letters. It all looked regular, legitimate… seamless. A little too seamless. She finally found the clue under his history, in a list of previous meds.

Dimallium 6. 

Sonora frowned. Only one use for that: Castellan restraints. Conditioning. She paused, reaching out to touch the word with a fingertip. When she did, a dialogue box popped up.

Open previous encounter for this med?

She hesitated at first, but then reached out again, tapping the screen.

Yes.

Enter override code:_____________

Sonora frowned, then looked up and took a chance. “Hey, can you put that code in again? It won’t let me in the MAR.”

For one terrifying moment, as she handed him the datapad and let him put in the code, she realized what a terrible mistake she’d made. It could all be over, her entire life, and for what?—to look up his records? Why, when he was the enemy?

...but was he really the enemy? She had to know.

“Here, should work, it looked like it took the code.” She had to stifle a sigh of relief as he handed it back without really looking.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“I thought I saw the dose in the MAR already,” he said.

“I charted against the override. Had to fix it.”

A little sound of acknowledgement and a half-said “Ah yeah that’s annoying” was the extent of his protest. She peered into the encounter, eyes scanning, fingertips tapping to make it look like she was working on the MAR. But when she finally found the notes from the conditioning, her hand slowed. The notes were in reverse order, working backwards into the past with the most recent ones first: progress updates following his rehabilitation, implantation of new memories… and down at the bottom, she found a brief AAR about his capture… but nothing about him defecting. Frowning, Sonora worked back up from the AAR, going over everything again. Had she missed one?

She finally found the answer that she was terrified of, in the transcript from his last interrogation.

---

SIS: Last chance, Vael. You can tell us everything you know, or we’ll start cutting off fingers.

PRISONER: Do it. I don’t care.

SIS: You know you’re the sole survivor, right? All the other agents, they’re gone.

PRISONER: Like I believe that.

[Electroshock applied. Several deep cuts made to abdomen. No new information.]

SIS: What’s so special about them that you won’t talk? Even when you’re here for life, even with them dead?

PRISONER: That’s… my team… I’m… the medic… gotta take care of them.

SIS: They’re gone, Vael! They’re dead. What’s stopping you?

PRISONER: Because… th-they’re my… family. I love… them… and even... even if they’re gone, I... I... I’m not gonna l-let them down.

SIS: Oh, you’re gonna let them down, Vael. You just don’t know it yet.

[Session terminated. Will begin selective treatment with dimallium immediately. Keyword to reverse conditioning in case of emergency: Aurek Five System Yellow Seventeen.]

---

For a little while, she sat quietly, rereading the note. Then rereading it again. Memorizing the code. Finally, she backed out of the chart and handed it to the man at the door. 

“Hey, it freaked out on me or something. Started opening a bunch of other pages, I had to shut it off. I’ll finish charting tomorrow.”

He nodded, tucking the datapad away as she turned back to her bed, stretching out. As she drifted to sleep, the words from the code echoed in her mind:

What could I have done to save one of mine?

[taexyoongs]

Do You Remember ch 1 (discontinued)

Sorry the link to this was broken! i couldn’t fix it until now because of some log in issues. I hope the anon that sent me the request to read this gets to! 

      His arms snuck around your waist pulling you closer to him. You lay your head on his shoulder as he swayed the both of you to the gentle rhythm of your favorite song. One two three four - The more upbeat the song, the more Jimin twirled you around. Around and around and around until your view of the world started to merge together. “Yah, Park Jimin, I’m dizzy!” You giggled, starting to lose your balance, as the world stopped spinning.  But gentle arms caught you and pulled you closer and closer, until you found yourself slow dancing under the stars with Park Jimin. As he gently hummed the song into your ear, you fell into an inebriated bliss. As though nothing in the entire world could make you happier than you were right now, standing here in his arms. It felt like it was just the two of you. Just you and him against the world. And you could beat anything together. Every past worry just melted away as you relaxed into his chest. He smells like a lemon bar. Strange, you thought. Jimin pulled away for a second to stare into your eyes. Butterflies started to form in your stomach, causing a familiar tingling. You loved him. You fucking love him, don’t you? Yes. And the world collapsed. 

Your eyes fluttered open. Dammit. You thought. Now you could never get that dream back. Your head hurt and your muscles felt very tight though you couldn’t remember ever dancing at the party. You stretched your legs and arms but froze mid-stretch when your foot felt someone else’s leg. Did Irene come home early last night? No. Whose bed was this? Turning very slowly, you found yourself face to face to a sleeping Park Jimin. 

Letting out a little gasp, you looked at him with wide eyes. A small smile spread through your face as you noticed his features. He was even cuter when he slept. As if it was possible for that to happen. However, when you did get back to reality, you realized just where you were. Getting out of the bed very slowly you looked down to see yourself wearing only Jimin’s t-shirt from the night’s party before. It was way too big and ended around your mid thigh. You quickly took it off and pulled on your own clothes. As you silently walked around the carpeted floor you saw him shift slightly in his sleep. You froze but kept moving when you realized that he was not waking up. When you exited the apartment, a fresh 9 o’clock breeze hit your face. The giddiness hit you as you walked to your car. Each step you took had a slight bounce to it. As you put the key in the ignition, your mind began to drift through the events from the night before. 

If you remembered correctly, you had been chilling in your dorm room late at night when Jimin had texted you to come to the party that Jungkook was throwing to celebrate the end of finals week. Like everyone else on campus, you were exhausted from the back to back all nighters you had to pull to review all the material over again. And you most definitely needed a break. What could go wrong? Right? Or so you had thought before ending up in a bed that wasn’t yours. 

Throwing the covers back you began to get ready. 

It was not a formal party but you still felt the need to dress up little considering you smelled a little weird and probably looked a little funky wearing a giant sweatshirt and sweatpants. Your only plan for the night after finals was to binge watch your favorite show until you fell asleep for a solid 48 hours. But that didn’t mean you were antisocial. Well you weren’t exactly social either. An ambivert then, you decided. Honestly, you probably wouldn’t have even thought about passing through Jungkook’s party if it weren’t Jimin who had texted you.

Jimin was popular no doubt about it, but he wasn’t your typical “fuckboy”. Sure, girls threw themselves at him and his other handsome friends but he was a sweet guy who honestly didn’t seem to have any obvious faults.

Or so you thought at the time.

Jimin’s closest friends were the group he was almost always with-- Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jungkook. 

Jungkook’s family was rich. Instead of staying in a cheap, cramped dorm like most attendees of Seoul University, he lived in a huge apartment (he did claim one time that his apartment isn’t the only thing that’s huge- he called it the Jungcock). 

You had your friends and Jimin had his. The only reason the two of you were friends was because you had an Econ class together. He accidentally walked in late one day and seeing as there was an empty seat next to you, he sat down. The night before, you had stayed up extremely late studying for a different class so you were dozing off here and there during your professor’s lecture about flipping values. After class, Jimin had walked up to you and asked if you needed the notes from the days class. You thought it was a great idea so the two of you went to the local cafe and he told you about everything the professor had said while also making pleasant conversation. You exchanged numbers and became friends soon after. You weren’t close enough to him to label him as your best friend though. No that title belonged to your roommate Irene.

Jimin never seemed like more than a friend to you but one day you accidentally caught yourself gawking at his Instagram update: a selfie with Taehyung. More often than not, you found yourself staring at his face in class to see all his beautiful features. His adorable eye smile, plush lips and cute nose. Your heart began to flutter. Oh shit. What am I getting myself into? 

You officially had a crush on Park Jimin. 

It came to the point where even a simple text that read “hey wanna come to Jungkook’s party” could make you blush. 

The clock read 9;00 PM. One hour left till the party! After showering you decided to go with a black, off the shoulder bodysuit with your favorite light washed jeans. You did a little bit of simple makeup and straightened your waist length hair. Irene wasn’t here so you had to figure out who to talk to, otherwise you’d be stranded in a sea of people you didn’t know. Of course you could talk to Jimin or his friends but you didn’t want to accidentally embarrass yourself in front the guy you liked. That left to talking to your next option, Jungkook. You were definitely second closest to Jungkook when it came to Jimin’s friends but he was always with some girl or the other. Well shit. I guess I’m just gonna have to wing it.  Maybe I can wing it with Jimin….no Y/N stop. You have to get over this. Just go make new friends. And with that, you practiced your most dazzling smile in the mirror, picked up your purse, and walked out the front door.

As you pulled up to Jungkook’s apartment which, to be honest was more like a penthouse, you could already feel the thump of the bass from the loud music inside. You parked and let out a sigh. Ok Y/N. This is it. Don’t get your hopes up. He’s in there. He’s going to look amazing. He might be with another girl. Don’t be too hungover tomorrow. You’ve got this. 

After your little pep talk in the car, you slowly walked up to the front door and knocked a couple times. Then you realized there was no point in knocking. No one could hear you over that damn music anyways, so you let yourself in. You haltered for a second. After all, you weren’t used to the party atmosphere. There were people everywhere, dancing, drinking and looked like they were having fun. You bumped into people as you tried to walk around and find someone you knew. 

“Oof”, a voice said from slightly behind you. You turned to see whoever you had bumped into so that you could apologize. “Hey y/n, what’s up? I don’t usually see you at these!” The voice was Jung Hoseok. One of Jimin’s friend.

“Hi! Do you know where I can find Jimin?” You yelled over the music to Hoseok.

“Yeah! Follow me!” He replied. Hoseok lead you to the back of the apartment where the kitchen was.

“Hi. It is way too loud in there.” The brown haired boy said. 

“There’s so many people here.” You replied a little out of breath from all the shoving. Man you were out of shape.

Jungkook came into the kitchen. 

“Y/N! You’re here! Haha I told Jimin you’d be in the kitchen away from all the fun. I’m gonna bring him, wait here.” Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh Jimin’s gonna be here again why am I like this it’s not li-

Jungkook came back with an out of breath Jimin. He was just wearing a simple black t-shirt and ripped jeans but hot damn he looked good. You had to remind yourself to finish the thought.

ke I don’t see him everyday.

“Hey Y/N!”, Jimin said snapping you out of your trance like state. 

“Oh hey Jimin, thanks for inviting me! The party seems fun,” you managed to say. Hoseok began to talk animatedly about something new that was happening at his dance studio, but for some reason you weren’t able to focus. Maybe it was Jimin’s sweat glistening in a way that made the muscles in his neck pop...

“Stop eye fucking him that’s gross.” You almost yelped when you heard Jungkook’s voice low in your ear. You tried to keep a natural expression but couldn’t hide the blush that crept up your face. 

“I was not. I was very interested on what Hobi was saying for your information.”

He scoffed.

“Yeah ok then what was he saying?” He asked you knowing full well you didn’t know.

“Um...he was talking about a new dance he learned.” You said with fake confidence. Jungkook laughed and you shot a glare at him. 

“Ok whatever I’m gonna go talk to people.” You said and left to find someone who you could hold small talk with long enough to forget about Jimin...for the time being. 

You ended up talking to a girl from your calculus class, though you couldn’t really remember her name later. You succeeded in making small talk with her, sticking to topics about campus life, and what you were going to do after. She went to dance with some friends so you pulled your phone to find that it had already been 30 minutes since you had left Jungkook in the kitchen. You felt thirsty from all that small talk so you went to find the drinks table.

However when you finally reached the seemingly hidden table, you found yourself looking directly at a very clearly drunk Jimin. He was in the middle of the dance floor dancing-well you couldn’t really call it dancing. He was really just kind of grinding the air and acting as though he were performing on a stage. You grabbed a drink, you didn’t know what it was but you didn’t exactly care. Another 10 minutes had passed and your cup was empty again so you went to fill it up. Beginning to feel slightly bored, you considered getting an uber and heading home for the night but when you reached the drink station you stopped short to find Jimin slumped on the couch. His eyes were slightly hazy clearly from the sheer amount he had consumed. When he noticed you, his eyes lit up. You could see him mouthing something in your direction so you went over to him. Why did the music have to be so damn loud? As you made yourself over, Jimin got up and pulled you to the dance floor. His arms snuck around your waist pulling you closer to him. You could smell his lemon scent underneath the smell of alcohol. You swayed with him as a million thoughts went through your head. This was wierd but you were not complaining. After all if this was his way of confessing to you then you sure as hell were not going to mess with it. 

“You look gorgeous tonight.” He half whispered into your ear suddenly causing goosebumps to form at the back of your neck. You couldn’t say anything. How could you? This was your ideal moment. In fact, you weren’t going to say anything. You simply looked at him. This was it, the moment you had been waiting for since the first time you had caught feelings for this man. He moved his head so that your foreheads were touching. Fuck it. You thought and lifted your head to close the gap between the two of you. You felt him tense for half a second and you were worried you had done something wrong and you were about to pull away but he relaxed and began to kiss you back. 

“Let’s take this somewhere more private love.” he said and pulled you through the crowd and into an empty room. You knew Jungkook would kill you if he found out what you were about to do in his house but being that the keywords were “if he found out” you were going to go through with it anyway. Who knows if you’d ever get another chance? 

You turned of the engine of your car and felt it shudder as it shut off in your garage. You sighed and ran your hand through your hair. Maybe last night had a little more baggage to it than you had originally thought. You opened the door to your small hatchback and got out. I have to talk to him about this.

[igumdrop]

:OO WELCOME EVERYONE!!

okay okay, I know what you guys are thinking -- Jaime, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! HOW CAN YOU MAKE THE SUB-BLOG GO PUBLIC?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO *THAT* LIST... THE *YOU KNOW WHAT* LIST... 

and my response is... I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never had such a list. 

okay, real talk though, I decided to let my sub-blog go public for multiple reasons: 

♡ no one wants to enter a password that I change constantly

♡ most of what I say I would love to share with my regular viewers who can’t afford to sub, and this is my main source of updating you guys on a more personal basis for those who follow me more on social media and not my stream

♡ I’m incorporating a lot more sub-only things into the community, so I figured I could let one go! 

we’ll see how it goes and if it does start to feel uncomfortable, we can always bring it back :) but there’s little to nothing that I can think of that would make this weird because I don’t overshare that much... I think... HAHA we’ll see

ANYWAYS, REALLY GOOD NEWS! for the past few months I’ve had a little team of subs working on our community Minecraft server! (SO MUCH THANKS TO GOLDEYE, WATTEHMS, MATTY, MAXWELL, BRADLEY, JOSTER <3) I’ll try to log on everyday and just have a habit of keeping it online. I think it’d be cute to be able to log onto something and see everyone in the same world! 

if you’re a sub, please fill out the form that I linked in the discord! it’s also the same form you use to join the gummie gang stream team, and also for me to know what your discord usernames are (a lot of times when you guys message me, your discord username is different from your twitch and I have no idea LOL) there’s also a little response section where you can give me any suggestions you want! (stream ideas, sub emotes, etc) ~ HAVE FUN! 

AND EVEENNNN MORE GOOD NEWS!!!  

WE’LL BE ON FRONT PAGE OF TWITCH THIS THURSDAY!! WEEE!! 

I’ll probably be doing a sit-down cooking stream into a mukbang :) TIME IS TO BE ANNOUNCED BUT IT SHOULD BE AROUND THE TIME FRAME OF 12PM - 2PM OR 2PM - 4PM! I’ll let you guys know as soon as possible on discord. I’ll also be streaming tomorrow/Tuesday and Wednesday so I’ll let you guys know on stream too! 

OK THAT’S IT FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS!~ here are my own personal lil updates

BENJI HAS GROWN SOOO MUCH! okay not gonna lie, he was kinda dying for a bit during the winter, I don’t think he really did well in the cold... his leaves would fall off sometimes and yellow at the ends. I was getting really scared and to be honest I’m so attached to this god damn plant that it was taking a sad mental toll on me. LMFAO. WHY AM I LIKE THIS. anyway, I gave him some fertilizer and stayed consistent with him, watered him whenever I needed to and tried to keep him in warm yet sunny areas of my house. and YAY, SPRING ROLLS AROUND AND HE’S GROWN BIGGER THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN HIM GROW!!! 

before (when I first got him) and now! I’m so proud... only I can write a paragraph raving about my pet plant... jeez it’ll be crazy once I get an actual cat or something... 

there was a really busy week in march where I spent all my leftover time planning Aria’s birthday. it was honestly the cutest thing ever seeing all her friends get together and work on stuff for her. I remember being insanely tired during it but once I saw her reaction for her surprise party, my heart melted and I just told myself wow that was soooo worth it LOL. here’s some pictures from my end <3

we got these GIANT balloons that spelled out ARIA and it took forever to get into the car and out LMAO... excuse my janky no makeup face but it was so funny seeing us struggle so hard with the balloons T_T LOL

we spent hours late at night working on her scrapbook and baking stuff for her. I was working on strawberry cheesecake shoots and I remember cutting 10+ strawberries and thinking, “wow, it would suck if I dropped these,” and then guess what happened... 

I dropped them lmao 

anyways it turned out so wholesome and cute <3 

I found the airbnb on this website called peerspace and when I saw it, it SCREAMED ARIA...

you’re welcome for me blessing your eyes

we seriously worked our *aesthetic* muscle for this because we knew aria would appreciate the heck out of it 

OKAY ANYWAYS MOVING ON!! yesterday I went to h-mart and got a shit ton of groceries. and I realized it’s STRAWBERRY SEASON!!! there’s still a lot of stuff that I want to buy that isn’t available here though, so my mom tries to send me all that she can :D 

I love her so much I miss her so much wahhh I can’t even talk about my parents because I’ll just start crying because I miss them so much ... ok also I was supposed to stream yesterday but I took a nap... and... didn’t... haha... jaimewhatswrongwithyou.exe.... here’s a post-nap selfie though... 

I looked heckin janky but snow saved my ass 

ANYWAY I spent the rest of the night just reading and I finished my monthly book read! here are my two recommendations for you guys :) 

I absolutely love love love this book! it will really help if you’re an overthinker like me. tl;dr, it talks about the inside voice in your head that constantly battles with itself and refers to it as an “annoying roommate.” with consistent reading (a chapter or two before sleeping at night) it really helped me clear my mind and become super aware of how the voice in my head could be more harmful than helfpul. if you’re new to reading it is quite a bit to read though so if you want something easier then I suggest this: 

gosh, my life became so simple when I read this book consistently. it basically shares four simple agreements that you should always be conscious of in life. this book just really helped me not take things as personally, to not make assumptions, and it just gave me a much more simple and clear perspective on things and issues. SUPER SUPER EASY TO READ!!! downfall is, it kinda talks about religion a lot at the end, which might make it uncomfortable for some of you guys. I couldn’t really enjoy the last bits of it that much because of that sole reason but it’s still a great read and taught me lots of fundamentals I never knew I needed for my own mindset :) 

I went to LCS the day before yesterday and it was really fun because I brought a portable cut-out of scarra LMAOOOOOO the thread is really funny so you guys should go read it: https://twitter.com/iGumdrop/status/1114687260434124801

I also did my taxes yesterday (well I finished up what was left of it) during the games LOL and then I went to annie’s place afterwards because her mom is an accountant and she helped me file them. I’m soooo happy I got them over with because I feel so free now! 

hm ok ending these are always hard because it always seem so abrupt, mainly because even my 200 WPM fingers get tired of typing. I guess all I have to say is, hello new readers of my sub-blog, I hope you enjoy your time here! and thank you so much to everybody who supports me. it really means the world to me and I never go one day without insanely appreciating you guys. this month I’ma hit you guys with that dudududuududud GOOD CONTENT! <3

and alas, a few of my favorite cute lil drawings this month from chibird~ 

(+ my community) 

WELL, FAREWELL FRIENDS! TILL NEXT TIME <3 

[devilfic]

Yeah, it's like fanfiction, ya know? A lot of writers tend to write their reader with a certain group of people in mind. And, well... yeah... i feel like i can go on and on about this topic for hours haha

Oh my gosh that is very nice of you fhsjfgshkfhsfhdskfghjs. I really don't know what else to say???? hfjskgfdsjfsh..... Okay, right, i just checked your guidelines again, and you can expect a request from me after i send this ask!

They used to be roommates???? What's with all these british people being roommates??? I think i also heard about andrew garfield and.. i can't remember who.. also used to be roommates. It's very cool though, to see how they became pretty well-known and all that. Sometimes i want my friends and i to be celebrities so we could be like "oh yeah, we used to go to high school together" and people are gonna freak out over that

Death is very cool indeed. But like, when i watched the episode they first appeared in, i cried. When she guided people, from the oldest to the youngest, it made me think about my own death. She was warm and nice and i just fhsjkfgdskjfk. I rarely cry when watching movies or tv shows, so the fact that it made me cry means that it's really something

Ooh i see!! It really seems like a very cute thing to have!! Although, i feel like the shipping will cost as much as (or even more than) the letter itself, and i'm not ready to spend that much money yet :'0 it's definitely on my wish list tho!

Alright, so uhh, a little life update: i am moving into another city for my studies! This isn't actually my first time. I was there for a while earlier this year, then came home for summer break, but now i have to go back there again and i'm very nervous. When i'm there, i can't sleep with silence, so i always have music or a podcast playing on my phone. So.... can you recommend me a nice podcast? Preferably something not horror, just something cool and fun that i can listen to to fall asleep? Or if you're not into podcasts, some music would be great, as long as it's on spotify!

-cain

I'm sorry for taking so long to reply ;-;;; school's starting tomorrow and I've been making preps and stuff and have kinda just been logging on here to write and then going back to work RIP

LMAO yes!! I think it was andrew and charlie cox I think?? all british people know each other, I'm telling you. that's why all their tv shows have like the same fifty actors in them (like rory from doctor who was in the bonus episode for the sandman just like clara as constantine) asfdaksjd but right?? I know someone who went to the same school as a minor celeb and it blew my mind because I used to write fan fiction about them when I was a kid

same!! the baby really broke me. just hearing the mom speaking to the baby after she'd just finished playing with them and coming back to find them... :(( I liked that her philosophy was just to be a friend because just like she feels alone taking them to the afterlife, they feel alone going to the afterlife. it's not as scary if you've got someone by your side. I like that depiction way more than death being scary and cold. gahhh I hope they greenlight a season two!! I wanna see more of them. did you see the bonus ep btw?

I feel you. maybe it could be a treat yourself gift eventually? a nice little surprise to cheer you up ^^

OH SWEET CONGRATS!! moving back must be so exciting. I hope you haven't already moved yet tho because then my response will be useless sadfskdfj but let's see... since you've got spotify, I've heard the batman unburied podcast is really good! their riddler is a fun character (more like classic riddler than dano!riddler). it's more of a thriller/crime and mystery podcast with batman as a detective role. I also like to listen to the OSP podcast (I sent you a playlist of their videos on writing tropes!). they usually discuss their videos of the week and have a lot of banter. if you watched them and liked them, you'll like the podcast. I also listen to the twilight effect podcast asfhaskf I'm not sure if you're a fan of twilight like me but it's hosted by alice's actress and her best friend.

as for music, I've got some diverse genres I listen to sdfskdfj but here's a playlist for eddie, the entire twilight saga soundtrack bc they've got some bangers, and I've recently been listening to the cranberries, hole, and some gothic music playlists lately. I don't know if you're into these genres but I've got 'em on repeat ^^

also random inclusion: her by megan thee stallion >:D