#good omens headcanons

[crowleysgirl56]

Wildest dreams wishes for Good Omens Season 3 which will probably not come true but I can still hope hey!

Number 25.

I would love to see the below scene mirrored in season 3 where Crowley and Aziraphale stand in Aziraphale’s room facing each other. Crowley snaps his fingers and the door starts to close. Just as they are both almost out of sight and the door is almost shut we see Crowley grab Aziraphale and bends him down into a swoon embrace. They kiss passionately just as the door shuts.

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I just know Aziraphale and Crowley will end up retired the way Pestilence is retired. Going on and on about how relaxed they are and how happy they are not to be working, meanwhile you glance at their calendar out of the corner of your eye and take immediate psychic damage.

(every retiree I’ve ever met is like this)

[beebopboom]

silly headcanon time,

The reason Aziraphale knows they can’t miracle two people in love was because he wanted to make sure he couldn’t

he loves human love

the love they have for themselves, nothing like the “love” from Heaven - it’s everything he wishes was up there

and he knows he is technically a “being of love” but if it’s Heaven’s love - well then maybe that’s not something he wants to spread. The humans seem to have figured it out pretty well in their own

so he tested it.

But really he just wanted to know if the love he could feel from Crowley was from him or if Aziraphale was influencing the love from his side

he wasn’t <3

[morgangalaxy43]

I like to think that all angles and demons are asexual and they don’t see the need for sex (they are all immortal beings so they don’t see the need to reproduce like humans do) but they know a lot about sex because of humans and I feel like Aziraphale and Crowley would probably try stuff out together just because they can

[averageanonymous]

I have a headcanon that Crowley can play the piano. I mean. Look at his hands. They're made for the piano.

This stunning creature is a pianist, though he'd never admit it. But I'm telling you. You can't have hands like that and not be. You just can't.

(Fun fact as an aside, according to a very brief perusal of the internet, David Tennant does - or did in 2013 - actually play to some extent. I'm serious. Piano hands are a real thing.)

[crowleys-hips]

things i headcanon Crowley invented:

only one sock disappearing in the washer/dryer. you know the one

youtube ads

gum on shoes

that one wobbly wheel on every shopping cart

you know when you're in traffic and one lane is going faster than the one you're in, so you switch to that one, but now this one's going slower than the other? that. it's one he often regrets.

back when wired earbuds were a thing - only one of them going bad

Nessie - an accident. he went swimming in his snake form once and someone took a blurry picture

unsynced audio or subtitles on media

pineapple on pizza - he did it to piss of Aziraphale

instagram poetry

pens/markers than run out of ink by the 3rd day (i'm looking at you Sharpies)

airplane food

the very common phenomenon when you forget your old password, go to reset it, and then get told your "new password can't be the same as your old password"

long red light/short green light

shower knobs that can't ever get the right temperature, it's either 3rd degree burns or hypothermia

crocs

feel free to add your ownnn

[edin3el]

im a taurus

[treasoncheese]

[thethingswedotomorrow]

I love the Good Omens 'Night at Crowley's Flat' trope where after stopping the apocalypse in season 1, they go to Crowley's Flat and talk and kiss and fall in love and have a peaceful night, I do.

BUT

What if the night became 'The Night an Angel and a Demon Get Insanely Drunk and Teach Each Other How to Act'

Because honestly

They go to the flat, and ALL they know is they are going to have to swap themselves if they want to survive and finally be free from Heaven and Hell

But they have absolutely NO clue how to pull it off successfully

Sure, they know each other in and out.

Aziraphale has Crowley's eye color committed to memory (and also to paper, since Aziraphale spent 4-5 years in the late 80s trying to find a craft store in London that could help him do the color justice)

Crowley could find his angel in a crowd of millions (and not even just because only one single person in that crowd would be dressed in that ridiculous shade of tartan)

BUT they know they have to truly get this right, down to the exact detail.

So, naturally, they start by promptly opening the closest bottle of scotch that Crowley had available

Crowley was convinced this would be the easiest thing they've ever done

"Only you, Angel, would find a way to worry yourself to death AFTER stopping an apocalypse"

They begin with the easy part, switching corporations and clothing.

It was easy. Until Aziraphale realized he had to actually physically move in the very, very tight pants Crowley prefers.

The first three times he tries walking, he falls face down. And each time, realizes how it's equally hard to get back up again.

Not to mention that Crowley's corporation had learned that after 6000 years, it didn't really need all those vertebrae and bones since he never used them anyways

So now Aziraphale is just laying on the floor in terribly tight pants, very confused on how Crowley has managed all this time

(Crowley is also on the floor, having dropped there laughing after the 2nd attempt)

After they both get up (one much faster than the other) Crowley tries coaching the angel on how to walk like him

Until Crowley realizes he doesn't actually know how he walks, he just sort of wills himself forward and hopes his limbs keep up with him along the way

Eventually, after enough drinks, they settle on a technique called "Just pretend all your limbs are snakes. And you're a snake. Honestly, just as snake-y as you can manage, Angel."

Aziraphale, as difficult as this was for him, figures out that he may have gotten the easy side of this situation here. Crowley very much disagrees.

"Once an Angel, well, definitely not always an Angel, but close enough right?"

He very quickly realizes he may be wrong when Aziraphale asks Crowley to copy his walk

"Dear Lord Crowley, it cannot be that hard. You simply have to walk in a straight line"

It was indeed that hard.

Crowley has all his vertebrae now, but no knowledge of how they should be used

He tries to hold his hands behind his back and march forward, walking in what he thinks is probably, on some plane of reality, maybe a straight line

He's convinced that he's the perfect image of a stereotypical angel, head held high, an air of 'holier than thou' surrounding him

When Crowley asks Aziraphale, he only says, "Well, I suppose it will have to do for now."

Internally, Aziraphale thinks of the fact that Crowley looked identical to a bumbling penguin walking on ice.

When Crowly sits down, very pleased with himself for an impeccable performance ("As always, Angel. I've still got it." Aziraphale uncaps the vodka and drinks straight from the bottle, just staring into the distance.

He has just realized that their existence hinges on whether Crowley can figure out how to sit on a chair like a proper being with appendages and a spine.

And the odds are not in their favor, if they way the demon is sprawled out on the couch (reminding Aziraphale suddenly of a very well-done noodle, and suddenly he's starting to wonder if humans had the right idea with stress eating) is any indication

Crowley announces that he refuses to utter the words tickety boo, even if faced with destruction

"Honestly I think I'd rather have the holy water at that point" "Crowley." "I swear you just make sounds up sometimes, those aren't even real words"

4 bottles (and a very large order of takeout) later, they've got the act down well enough that it's starting to weird Crowley out

"Angel, seriously, enough with the nose. When have I ever done that with my nose? Exactly zero amount of times. I'm not a rabbit"

2 bottles later and Aziraphale has miracled Harry the Rabbit into the flat for a reason they can't quite remember

But they've got music playing from somewhere in the corner, and plenty of drinks, and the night goes on into the morning, and then they're sobering up and marching out for the most dramatic acting of their lives

And the world hasn't ended yet, so they'll probably be fine. Probably.

[crowleysgirl56]

Wildest dreams wishes for Good Omens Season 3 which will probably not come true but I can still hope hey!

Number 16.

How I desperately want them to defiantly hold hands when facing down the combined hoards of heaven and hell in the final act of season 3.

Think about it. Season 1 we have this image:

Then season 2 we get this image:

Something is always between them. Which means there’s a good possibility the next step is nothing gets between them for the final act.

So season 3, I want to see them standing side by side and determinedly grab each others hand, Aziraphale clutching a flaming sword with his other and Crowley holding his Bentley crank in his other, facing down the Metatron and whoever else is there trying to bring about the second coming.

[eviebane]

Popular Good Omens Headcanons That I Think Are Neat

The J stands for Janthony

Watching Aziraphale eat is a bit of a kink for Crowley

Whether top or bottom, Crowley is a giver first and foremost

Crowley has a lush garden in South Downs, complete with veggies

Azi likes to sweet talk Crowley's plants, which the demon hates (but secretly loves)

Crowley loves napping in a sunny spot, in snake form

When the going gets tough, Crowley takes a century long nap. Or plans to, anyway

Crowley has a Thing™ for Azi's thighs

Crowley has a praise kink

Despite himself, Crowley is actually good with kids

Pre-Fall Crowley was an archangel

If Crowley has a vulva, it's mostly because it fits better in his stupidly tight jeans

Said jeans often have to be miracled on/off because of how stupidly tight they are

South Downs era Crowley returns to his longer hair, usually in a half-bun or ponytail

The Bentley bullies Crowley with sad love songs post-divorce

If Crowley owned a shop, it'd be a plant shop

If Aziraphale's clothes are coming off, they should be folded or hung up neatly

[ididthis----onpurpose]

Crowley invented these specifically to prank Aziraphale, who laughed harder than Crowley and insisted he make more

[crowleys-ducks]

Wouldn't it be hilarious if Aziraphale and Crowley have been married for like 30 years and neither of them know it? I mean legally married. I'm talking "we got so drunk we forgor we could sober up" married. And their marriage certificate is crammed in a book somewhere in the shop just waiting to be rediscovered.

I think their reactions to this would be somewhat mixed. Like something between happy and WHAT THE HECK. I can envision Crowley letting out the loudest NGK when he finds the document and Aziraphale's mouth falling open as he looks at it.

Once the realization sets in, Crowley needs a drink. Aziraphale needs a pen and paper because he's got thirty anniversaries to plan.

[gingiekittycat]

They aren't talking, but Crowley still has Muriel smuggle in care packages of fancy chocolate truffles and mini bundt cakes that Aziraphale eats secretly between Heavenly meetings while standing up in the broom cupboard and quietly sobbing

[gray-omens]

You ever think the whole "can I take the jacket off" was an excuse for Aziraphale to undress Crowley. He has never seen this much skin

[infactilovetea]

at this point of the assembly instruction, I’m 100% sure that Crowley invented IKEA