#xanshitposts

[crowleys-hips]

[crowleys-hips]

ok i know everyone's analyzed the shit out of the Job minisode. but i think everyone has overlooked this Very Important detail, and it's this:

do you see it?

golden kermit collar

thank you for listening

[crowleys-hips]

i think it's really funny when people describe Crowley's hair as silky or soft or something along those lines in fics, because if you look at David Tennant closely, you can see they used like 50 hair products on his hair to sculpt that shit to perfection. it's probably hard as a rock or stickier than glue. i want a fic where it's like:

Crowley rests his head on Aziraphale's chest, snuggling close. The angel smiles and raises his hand to stroke his hair, but once his fingers are buried in those shiny red locks, they're trapped in a crunchy sea of slick goop. The slimy texture sticks to his fingers like superglue. He tries to pull his hand back, but it's completely stuck. Not even three consecutive miracles can do the trick. He prays for salvation.

[crowleys-hips]

things i headcanon Crowley invented:

only one sock disappearing in the washer/dryer. you know the one

youtube ads

gum on shoes

that one wobbly wheel on every shopping cart

you know when you're in traffic and one lane is going faster than the one you're in, so you switch to that one, but now this one's going slower than the other? that. it's one he often regrets.

back when wired earbuds were a thing - only one of them going bad

Nessie - an accident. he went swimming in his snake form once and someone took a blurry picture

unsynced audio or subtitles on media

pineapple on pizza - he did it to piss of Aziraphale

instagram poetry

pens/markers than run out of ink by the 3rd day (i'm looking at you Sharpies)

airplane food

the very common phenomenon when you forget your old password, go to reset it, and then get told your "new password can't be the same as your old password"

long red light/short green light

shower knobs that can't ever get the right temperature, it's either 3rd degree burns or hypothermia

crocs

feel free to add your ownnn

[crowleys-hips]

so...about that new EP...

[crowleys-hips]

fuck writing, this is my ultimate contribution to the fandom

[crowleys-hips]

based on this thread

[crowleys-hips]

[crowleys-hips]

Crowley moods

[crowleys-hips]

[crowleys-hips]

crazy to think that while we're all angry sobbing about S2's ending, these idiots could literally be making out nastily in some google doc in neil's computer

[crowleys-hips]

[crowleys-hips]

listen, whatever you do, do not imagine, after they have reunited, made up, and confessed feelings, do not imagine them teary eyed and crashing into a slow, passionate kiss as the music swells, Aziraphale wrapping his arms around Crowley's neck to pull him closer and Crowley squeezing his waist, and then the camera slowly pans down and all we see is a chainmail scarf being thrown on the floor followed by a tartan bowtie. i repeat, do not imagine it.

[crowleys-hips]

the real tragedy of good omens is not the forbidden romance, it's the fact that they don't know they have such a SICK ASS intro theme. they'll never know

[crowleys-hips]

[crowleys-hips]