#goof city podcast

[lorientours]

Tbh I did think that Hardwon could read bc I swear we heard him read a sign in Dwarvish in the episode where they kill all those tricksy gnomes in the crazy dwarf city? Like in ep 16? Inconsistency in the goof podcast ig.

[lovable-liar]

What if you were with him in Austin for chuckle weekend and you two wake up in bed. He wakes up with bed head and gender neutral reader can’t help but play with it because they love his hair so much, what would Ted’s reaction be?

𝗥𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲

As Ted and the reader prepared for another exciting day of podcasting in Austin, they found themselves sharing a cozy Airbnb. The city's vibrant energy had fueled their creative spirits, and they were eager to dive into their next episode. However, when Ted woke up that morning, he had the most magnificent case of bed head.

His usually well-coiffed hair was a tangled mess, and it defied gravity in all directions. His partner couldn't help but be amused and delighted by the sight. They tried to stifle their laughter but couldn't resist a chuckle.

Ted groaned, rubbing his eyes. "What's so funny?" he mumbled.

His partner, still giggling, said, "You've got some pretty impressive bed head there, Ted."

Ted squinted at them and then ran his fingers through his wild hair. "Well, I suppose I can't do much about it until I hit the shower," he admitted, looking somewhat resigned.

His partner, who had always admired Ted's pristine appearance on their podcast, couldn't resist the temptation. They reached out and gently ruffled Ted's hair, making it stand on end even more.

Ted looked at them in mock horror. "You're not helping!" he exclaimed, but a hint of laughter danced in his eyes.

The reader laughed and continued to play with his hair, now twisting a few strands around their fingers. "I think it looks kind of cute, to be honest. A different side of Ted that our listeners rarely see."

Ted grinned, a twinkle in his eye. "Well, I suppose it's good for a change every now and then."

They spent a few more moments goofing around with Ted's bed head, capturing a few fun snapshots for their behind-the-scenes content. It was a lighthearted start to their day, a reminder of the fun and spontaneity that made their podcast unique. Eventually, Ted headed to the shower to tame his unruly hair, but that playful moment remained a cherished memory of their time in Austin.

[veronika-tserber]

ASTROLOGY AND GIFT-GIVING PT. 5🎁

🌪 AIR SIGNS EDITION

Air signs love LEARNING new things, even though they do it in slightly different ways.

CONNECTION is more important than anything to them, which is why the company they are in can make or break their mood/celebration.

They are honestly the most unpretentious when it comes to receiving gifts, and their tastes aren't set in stone or strictly specified. They are curious and open to trying out new things.

♈ GEMINIS are the Tricksters of the zodiac, and they love to have a fun time. If you host them a party, make sure it includes puzzles, card games, and even roleplay! They love connecting with others on a personal level, so keep the circle relatively small and/or maybe host it at home? Alternatively, you can go to a stand-up comedy show together.

Many of them have a unique/twisted sense of humor, and they love to read, so maybe you could find some weird, witty books to gift them. They love to learn about everything, so even books about random topics they know nothing about may spark their curiosity, and become their next favorite hobby. At least for a month or two.😁

Gemini rules the 3rd house of day-to-day life, so they pretty much enjoy the small things that bring joy. A day spent in the right company, talking and goofing around town or exploring nearby cities, can be more rewarding than anything "fancy".  The 3rd house is also connected to vehicles, so bonus points if you use bikes to move around or go roller-skating.

They are also the messengers/communicators of the zodiac, and they sure have a LOT to say, so why not give them an outlet for that? Buy them a funky journal or pen to help them document their thoughts and emotions. If they are open to the idea, you could even get them a quality mic to start their own podcast.

I find that a SPRINKLE of the opposite sign's energy can be a good move. To help Geminis find balance, gift them a slightly Sagittarian gift. Expand their perspective and beliefs by giving them a book on the topic of philosophy or esoterica, but make sure it's written in an accessible way that won't bore them to death. Especially if they REALLY aren't into this kind of stuff, normally. E.g, I've seen cool comic books on Zen Buddhism.

You can also take them camping or go on a longer trip around the country. Geminis tend to get in the details sometimes, so you can broaden their perspective by feeding them facts and knowledge about history. Visit sacred spaces or ruins, and museums - give them a cultural expansion!

♌ LIBRAS, ruled by Venus, the planet of love and beauty, enjoy *surprise* beauty products and fashion. They love (natural) skincare, accessories, and makeup.

They also love to play with their home interior. However, make sure you know their aesthetic preferences well. They are the pickiest Air sign, but even if you "mess up", you probably won't even hear a word about it. Alternatively, you can feed their hunger for culture and art by visiting an art gallery/museum or something similar. If you decide to give them a book, go for the fiction genre and poetry instead of science. They are super intelligent, don't get me wrong. But they are also the most sensual, feminine, and emotional Air sign.

Libras love to connect one-on-one, so definitely try to do something together. If you are a couple, you could go on a movie date *preferably romantic movie* and have a nice dinner at a restaurant afterward. Bonus points if you cook them a nice healthy meal at home, set up the table with candles, and try all of the cheesy romantic stuff you've seen in the movies.

I find that a SPRINKLE of the opposite sign's energy can be a good move. To help Libras find balance, you can gift them a slightly Aries gift. They would benefit from things/experiences that strengthen self-confidence and individuality by shifting their focus on themselves/their goals/interests.

You can also ignite their inner fire by taking them to a competitive sports class or martial arts class such as kickboxing, for example – see how that makes them feel. If they are already into fitness and sports, you can give them sports apparel.

♐ AQUARIANS are the most solitary of all air signs. They are the true definition of an ambivert – someone who is both an introvert and an extrovert. They love to exchange ideas and collaborate with others, but up to a certain point. After they reach that point, they tend to disappear into their inner world. To help them effectively tune the outside world off, you can gift them headphones or tools to develop their own spiritual/self-improvement practices and routines.

Give them some sort of a puzzle/toy they will be able to disassemble and put back together. They love to see the inner workings of systems and things, so "toys" like this are perfect. An obvious gift idea is technology if you can afford it.

If you decide to give them a book, go for the celestial sciences such as astronomy or astrology, and if it’s fiction - they like sci-fi. A LOT. They are the humanitarians of the zodiac, so books that educate them on current social/political issues or technological progress are a good idea.

They love to accentuate their individuality and to even elicit strong reactions in others, so unique clothing pieces/accessories with witty text on them, and all kinds of personalized items that show them you appreciate their quirks, are ideal. Aquarius also rules Astrology and the Occult, so it’s pretty obvious what you could get them. *wink* 

I find that a SPRINKLE of the opposite sign's energy can be a good move. To help Aquarians find balance, you can gift them a slightly Leo gift. Bring out their heart and passion to the front by hosting a party. Many of them don't even celebrate their birthdays, and they can totally get too sucked into the “self-improvement” spiral. Help them have a good time that may or may not involve drinking games, lots of selfies, and silly/sexy dancing.

You could also take an art class or see a play together. These activities will allow them to access their untapped reserves of emotion. *jk jk* If they are hesitant to go to an art class, there is even a better alternative. Gather art supplies and have fun drawing and experimenting with different techniques and whatever comes to mind. Art talent: not required. In fact, to take it a step further, draw as awkwardly and chaotically as you can, and put your creations on eBay for sale. Laugh at yourselves. The point is to tap into Leo's childlike creativity and confidence which Aquarians seem to lack at times.

Okay, guys, this was the final post of this "series". Honestly, I am so over it at this point 😂I feel like I only really wanted to write the first part. But still,

- Foxbörn

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ 1

ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ

ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʏ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴏꜰꜰᴇᴇ?

[digital-david-p]

Justified City Primeval Episode 3 Thoughts:

Tim was extra Raylan in this episode. Brooding and tough but also taking the time to goof around and ask if a hot dog is a sandwich. If you follow Olyphant, you know he's good buddies with Conan O'Brien, so them squeezing in the theme song to Conan's podcast was really sweet. Holbrook is getting there but, honestly the Crowe's felt more threatening than Mansell so far. One detail I know is that, in the book, Mansell describes a moment from his youth in which he laid on a train track as a train passed over him. Saying that, after that, any sense of fear is sort of burned out of him. That would be really informative of his character if the writers hadn't borrowed that backstory for a random bad guy on the original show. I wish I could remember which one. I think we just need more of Mansell and Raylan. That's where the sparks are.

(Heavy Sigh)

At this point, it's definitely the actor that's the issue with Willa Givens. Her dialogue is good, but she delivers everything with the exact same energy. Every line is sad and quiet even when she's smiling and joking. That feels harsh, and that's not really my style of review. If I'm wrong, just tell me. I'm open to being convinced otherwise.

We're almost halfway through the show, and I can say that while the spirit of the show is here, they are going for a more cinematic presentation. I'm fine with that, but I almost would have preferred a film at this point. Like a 2hr 12 minute made-for-Hulu film, it could have both scratched the itch while not stretching the book's story out.

That all sounds negative, but I'm ride-or-die for Justified, so I'm looking forward to next week.

The Albanians are coming.

[microsuedemouse]

~ 15 questions & 15 friends ~

tagged by my much beloved @czarcaustic <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

My grandfather!! Courtney was his middle name. (That spelling was originally the masculine form of the name, though it's pretty rare to see it used as such these days.) My middle name is also a family name :)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhh... oh it was a couple nights ago, when talking with my parents about my Nana. I still miss her a lot

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. At this stage of my life I can't say it feels super likely ever to happen, though I'd be lying if I said I don't feel a twinge of Something when I meet babies at work lol.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

lmao I have never played any. I am extremely unathletic by nature, and also always struggled to get my brain around the rules of pretty much any of them when I was like, a kid in gym class

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sure, but not a lot? Probably an average amount I figure

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Man, I dunno - probably their faces or their clothes, depending on context?

7. What's your eye color?

Brown!

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Big big fan of both! I'm not a big sad endings guy, though. Even when it feels right for the story, it's usually not my jam. (I guess sometimes sad endings can be good for scary movies, but that's like... sort of its own thing? because it's about The Horror.)

9. Any talents?

This is always a hard question for me to answer, bc I feel like most of the things I'm good at are more skills than talents - they're things I've practiced and developed over time, like with my writing and art. Although I guess it'd be fair, if unusual maybe, to say I've got a couple naturally strong interpersonal skills. I'm very good at communication, including figuring out what other people are trying to say, and I'm also pretty good at making people feel comfortable and understood.

10. Where were you born?

In southern Ontario, in the city where both of my parents did most of their growing up :)

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing (fiction prose, mostly) and the many kinds of thinking that go with it (worldbuilding, character development, etc). Arts and crafts (of many kinds; I'm often bouncing from one thing to another. Currently I'm having lots of fun learning to crochet). Taking in stories (reading books and comics, watching movies and TV, playing games, listening to podcasts - I love stories in all their forms). Goofing off with my family, especially my younger siblings.

12. Do you have any pets?

We have three cats - Neverland, Louie, and Smudge :)

13. How tall are you?

Uhh my ID says 165 cm, so that's... 5'5"-ish? I'm genuinely so incapable of remembering that on my own, for some reason.

14. Favorite subject in school?

It was usually English and art, growing up. In university it was always my courses that delved into genre fiction - science fiction, children's lit, the fairy tale... also that graphic novel seminar I took

15. Dream job?

Iiii. [sweats] I wanna be a novelist, but also, that's hard in its own way, and I think it's gonna take me a while yet to really Get There in terms of my own skills, disregarding the challenges of publishing. Beyond that... is something I've been struggling a lot with lately, because it's hard for me to imagine myself in a job where I'm both content and competent, let alone able to support myself. I've been wondering a lot again about library sciences, lately, but I just don't know. It's tough out here!

I definitely don't have 15 people to tag, but. @izupie @werewolfin @serenabeanie @womanaction @mana-sputachu perhaps, if you're feelin' it?

[nicewizard]

Okay, let's start posting some music. I started listening to the fantastic Fun City Ventures, a Shadowrun Actual Play Podcast, back when it started, and in one episode, they goofed about a song on the radio, Doom And Gloom Archiepelago, playing on the radio. Like any rational person would, I turned into a whole song. (It later got used in the show! Very exciting for me, to be honest with you.)

The song's heavy, both in content and in style, so, be warned!

You can (And should!) check out the phenomenal Fun City in the link below, or on your preferred way of listening to podcasts!

[atlantis-lower-decks]

OC Spotlight: Tony Marken

Personnel File

Full Name: Anthony Henry Marken

Rank: Detective

Position: Civilian Security/podcaster

Job Description: Patrol city twice per day, assist civilian personnel with security matters, occasionally accompany science team off-world

Actual Job: Walk around the city aimlessly cracking wise, being roped into helping anywhere he’s asked to help, taking shifts in the gate room, breaking up fights between scientists, playing Halo, going off-world and keeping an eye on IT

Reports to: Nathan Brooks

Personal Details

Birthday: November 19th 1996

Age: 27

Reason for taking Atlantis Job: It came with a huge raise and his best friend was going so why not

Pre-Atlantis Residence: Colorado Springs, Colorado

Birth Place: Frankfort Illinois

Education: high school and BA in communications

Hobbies: Basketball, video games, MTG, Euchre, cooking

Appearance

Hair: blonde, well kept crew cut

Eyes: blue

Facial Hair: none

Build: average

Defining Features: kind eyes, warm smile

Body Modifications: none

Style In Uniform: occasionally wears CSPD shirt under uniform rather than uniform shirt, later goes on to wear podcast hat

Style Out Of Uniform: basketball short/jeans and tshirts, basketball shoes

Accessories: ball caps, winter hats

Mannerisms: good posture, can seem stiff when on the job, tends to smile more often than not, known to mimic Nathan subconsciously

Personality

Well-meaning and very sweet but tends to be a little naïve

Boy next door type, moms and grandmas love him

Loves helping people

Hopeless romantic

A bit of a door mat poor thing

A bit of a goof with a great sense of humour

Surprisingly knowledgeable

[kudosmyhero]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (vol. 1) #8: Team Up with Cerebus

Read Date: May 26, 2023 Cover Date: July 1986 ● Writer: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ◦ Dave Sim ● Pencils: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ● Inks: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ◦ Dave Sim ◦ Gerhard ◦ Michael Dooney ● Letters: Steve Lavigne ◦ Dave Sim ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● aww, it’s the Turtles’ first crossover! says so in the introductory notes ● heheh Renet is rather relatable ● that scepter head-that-looks-like-a-hand is creepy

● “it’ll be like stealin’ the nose off a leper” 🤣🤣💀 ● the letterer for the Turtles’ side of the story has had to squeeze words into balloons several times already. I don’t remember this being an issue in the previous, um, issues. maybe because there’s a second letterer to do a literal side-by-side comparison ● Renet was relatable at the very first, but yeah, she is rather annoying. at least the other characters are annoyed by her, so it’s intentional ● laughing zombies ● 👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: The story begins as Renet, the apprentice to time master Lord Simultaneous, "borrows" her boss's Time Sceptre that contains the "sacred sands of time." This wand allows its wielder to be taken anywhere in time and space by merely wishing to go. Just as Renet grasps the scepter, she is discovered by Simultaneous, who is not happy with her. In fear and desperation, Renet wishes to be sent to New York City, circa 1986.

As the Fates would have it, Renet is transported to a rooftop where the turtles are goofing around. Renet quickly makes friends with the boys when they're suddenly interrupted by an enraged Lord Simultaneous. Renet wishes to be taken "anyplace on Earth before humans recorded time!"

Back in the past, we find Cerebus being awakened by his henchmen. It seems that the men are uncomfortable with the aardvark's plan to invade a foreboding castle and so they announce their plan to desert him. Cerebus threatens them and tries to get back to sleep, when Renet and turtles emerge through a portal in a flash of magical light. As the turtles struggle to their feet, we see that within the castle a satyr-like being awakes, alerted to the presence of the Time Scepter.

Leo apologizes to Cerebus for crash landing in his camp, but the aardvark is in no mood for discussions. As the two prepare for battle, Renet tells them to chill out and offers to explain everything. While Renet tells the tale of why she's bouncing through time (she was bored), Savanti Romero (the satyr-like man) and his army rush out of the castle to fetch the Scepter.

Our heroes hear the approaching warriors too late, and while they make efforts to escape, Savanti easily overcomes them with magic and takes the Time Sceptre. The wizard and his men retreat back to the fortress and leave our heroes unconscious on the ground.

A few hours later, the turtles, Renet and Cerebus find a town and go into a tavern. Cerebus arranges for a mercenary force to attack the castle at dawn by lying to them. The next morning the hired army attacks the fortress as the Turtles, Cerebus and Renet scale the castle walls. Savanti conjures an army of undead to fight the human attackers as the heroes battle their way into the castle. Eventually the TMNT and crew make it to Romero's inner chamber, but they're quickly subdued by his magic. As Savanti ponders how to kill them, Lord Simultaneous shows up. Romero casts numerous spells in an effort to defeat Simultaneous, but all his efforts are in vain. The time lord explains that the Scepter is old technology and then displays the new trans-temporal talisman - the Digital Cosmic Quartz (a wrist watch). Simultaneous zaps Romero and he disappears. He then sends the turtles back home and gives Cerebus the scrolls he came to the castle to get. Finally, Simultaneous returns home, where he punishes Renet by making her dust his vast library.

(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Team_Up_with_Cerebus)

Fan Art: Hamato Pile by suthnmeh

Accompanying Podcast: ● Shellheads - episode 16

[exovapor]

Mikey - CAUGHT, Requested Ask

So, here it is, the last one.  Mikey FINALLY decided to play nice and give you all a story worth reading.  I do hope you enjoy it and that it fulfills the requested asker’s fantasies.

LEO & RAPH can be found here:  https://exovapor.tumblr.com/post/652744426391781377/any-of-the-turtles-ralph-if-possible-maybe-but

DONNIE here:   https://exovapor.tumblr.com/post/653748387246637056/donnie-caught-requested-ask

Original Start (from Private Moment Headcanons) here:  https://exovapor.tumblr.com/post/652655737697435648/just-because-im-in-a-filthy-mood-headcanons-of

MIKEY

·         Mikey is estatic.  It is Friday night and Leo is allowing Mikey to take the section of the city to patrol where Y/N’s apartment is located.

·         Leo knows that Mikey would probably goof off and head straight to your apartment, but it has been a long tough two weeks of morale busting fights with the Foot in the north part of the city, with the turtles only gaining the upper hand and stopping the Foot’s nightly attacks just recently.  

·         He knows his team is tired and, while they still needed to do surveillance and keep a watchful eye, they needed a break to breathe and regroup individually.  

·         He was going to spend some time patrolling and walking through the park to recharge his batteries.  Raph always takes the tough part of town, looking for aggression release to recharge himself and Donnie will patrol while listening to whatever science or computer podcast that recharges him.  However, Mikey needs connection and frivolity to boost his batteries.

·         Mikey’s sun always seems to shine a little brighter after getting to cut jokes with you and flirt around for an evening.  Leo knows that his youngest brother has a major crush on you and you are actually pretty good for him as well.  

·         You always lift Mikey’s spirits when he needs it and you can calm his energy down when he isn’t focusing.  You seem like a magic Mikey pill.  In fact, Leo is determined to get you to teach him the trick to that last part as Mikey’s energy often needs to be reined in.

·         So, Leo allows Mikey your section with the promise of making scouting rounds first and then periodically throughout the night.

·         Mikey quickly moves through the section in full ninja mode as Leo has instructed.  All seems quiet…for a Friday night.  At least, there isn’t any trouble.  There are plenty of people out and about letting loose and getting their weekend started.

·         Suddenly, a crushing thought passes across his mind and Mikey realizes that you may be one of those people, that you might not be home.  He makes a beeline for your apartment.

·         When he arrives to the top of your building and drops down to your fire escape, he finds all the windows dark.  

·         “Great!”, he mumbles with down cast eyes.  He really needed some Angel Cakes tonight and you aren’t home.  Pulling out his phone he sends a text to you:

·         Mikey:   Hey, you delicious snack, at your apartment but you aren’t here.  Out cheating on me again?

·         Y/N: There you are!  I was wondering if you were still ALIVE.  Thanks for not letting me worry or anything 😜

·         Mikey: Sorry about that hotness, it was a tough few days.  Leo had us busting tail in training AND patrol trying to get the attacks to stop.

·         Mikey:  It had me 💀😴  But, I’m here now…needing some of that good vibe that only you can provide this desperate turtle.

·         Y/N:  I’m at dinner with the girls, it’s Jasmine’s birthday.  We’ll be wrapping in a bit, be home later.

·         Mikey: Tell Jasmine that I’ve got a present for her 🍆 *wiggle brow*

·         Y/N:  Ah, who is cheating on who now?

·         Mikey: Never Baby Cakes!  I’m a one woman turtle!  Fiercely trying to make that one woman you 😘

·         Mikey: I’d have to be insane to cheat on perfection 😘

·         Mikey: Oh, oh, bring me some b-day cake…plzzzzzzz

·         Y/N: Sure, M, but you get it on my sofa again and I’ll skin you.  You must eat it at the table.

·         Mikey:  I want to eat it off of you 😈

·         Y/N:  LOL cute joke, see you later M

·         Mikey sighs and put his phone away.  Now what? He could always continue to patrol, that’s what Leo would WANT him to do.  However, the voice inside Mikey’s head…and the even more demanding one in his stomach…have other ideas!

·         He goes to the window you always leave slightly unlocked, specifically for him, and he gives a POP at the frame right where the lock is barely holding on.  The lock’s arm slides out and he raises the window and enters your dark apartment.

·         At back the restaurant, you sit listening to your friends yammer on about their guys, their bosses, and whatever other dicks and male assholes are messing with their lives. It is good to be out with the girls but your mind keeps returning back to your text conversation with Mikey.

·         It had been weeks since you got to see his sweet, cute, smiling face and you were now antsy to get back to home.  Just thinking about that smile of his starts to warm your heart.  He really has snuck into your walled-off heart like a ninja.

·         After a LONGGGG series of one bad relationship after another, you had sworn off men for a while.  

·         You were tired of the insincerity, the cheating, the lack of interest or lack of effort. It all just became too disheartening.

·         You always gave 110% in every relationship but felt like you had to settle for scraps in return.  There just wasn’t enough good stuff anymore to put forth the effort, it was just easier to be alone.  So, you closed off your heart and gave the world a fake smile to hide the disappointment.

·         Then, BAM, seemingly out of no where comes this quartet of mutant turtles that flips everything you know about men…males…on its axis.  

·         They are more honorable, sincere, and trustworthy than anyone you have ever met and they did it all the while being shunned by the outside world.

·         Although all four have their pros and high points that make a girl go all mushy, it is Mikey that seems to capture everything from you.  Your attention, your time, your mind, and, lately, it seems your heart.  

·         His shining, open, honest, riotous personality has started to lift the darkness that has settled over you for the last several years.  He is the first one to make you GENUINELY smile again.  He is like a deep breath of fresh air after being choked and suffocated by despair for far too long.

·         Aside from his personality, you have to admit, even if only to yourself, the boy is FINE…for a turtle.  

·         HELL…who are you kidding?  The boy is finer than most humans too.  

·         You looked at all your friends and thought about the looks and faces you would get from them if you started gushing over the physical traits of a turtle man.  

·         However, if they could see him the way you do, they would be more incline to fight you for him.

·         He has the most gorgeous eyes.  Big, bright, crystal blue, and always twinkling with some type of excitement. His lips are plush and look like they would be tasty and luscious to kiss.  And that smile of his, it is the most radiant thing you have ever seen!  However, the part that really makes you cross your legs and shift in your chair is DAT BODY.

·         Lordt-t-t, have mer-r-r-c-c-y-y!  It is truly a thing of beauty.

·         He is fucking stacked and packed like a damn cargo ship!

·         And, even with all that weight and bulk, he can move like gravity has no effect on him.  

·         You’ve watch him train a few times and you have watched him skate more times than you could count, and he just…flies.

·         It is mind-blowing to watch and he does it with such ease!  He is never winded or tired from all the exertion….which sends your mind into over-drive thinking of other places where that skill might come in handy. In fact, you have imagined that scenario many nights alone in your room.

·         Mikey, the ball of energy, literally bouncing you off the walls as he sandwiches you between him and every surface in your home.  You imagine how he would capture your moans straight from your lips and swallow them in a tongue dueling kiss while trying to keep you quiet enough not to piss off the neighbors.

·         You are so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed that all of your friends had stopped their gossiping and bitch-fest to stare at you.  “So, what…or should I ask, WHO, has put that sly smile on your face?”, Jasmine asked from the middle of the group.

·         You pull out of your daydreaming and face the firing squad, “No one!”, you vehemently deny.

·         “Uh huh”, Jasmine gives you her signature pursed-duck-faced-lip and doubting eyes, “Well, whoever it is, he needs to hurry up and hit it ‘cause, girrrrllllll, you ain’t had any in FOR-EV’-A.”.

·         Heat rises to your face and you can’t meet her eyes.  She’s right.  It has been TOO DAMN LONG and Mikey’s constant flirting and jokes about wanting you doesn’t help matters.  You’ve spent more than one night running the batteries down in your vibrator over his jovial advances and the way he gets you going.

·         “He’s JUST a friend!”, you tell her, still not meeting her eyes, “He’s not…an option.”.  

·         As the words leave your mouth, they hit you FULL FORCE.  Has that fear, that doubt of compatibility always been there creeping around the outskirts of your mind?

·         Jasmine’s cousin Maria piped up, “Girl, then you need to MAKE his ass an option.  Get you some.  Just go into like this… pull out your inner Diva, get in his face, and be like,’ Papi, you gonna hit it and hit it good!’  You know what I’m sayin’?  Girl, some guys enjoy a firm hand, they get off on it”.

·         You look at her with dubious expression and reply, “They do?  Even kind-hearted, boyish ones?”.

·         Maria nods her head emphatically, “Yes, girl, those are the usually the ones who enjoy it the most.”.

·         Jasmine laughed, “I can see the Mayor having to declare a state of emergency from the amount of earth shaking that’s going to happen when he finally makes you cum.”.

·         The group laughs on, but you are lost in the recesses of your mind again…still letting that doubt-filled question roll through…is he an option?  Is that even…     ….possible?

·         You sit quietly and pensive the rest of the meal and even in the shared taxi ride home you are locked in your own head.  Is it possible?  Does he have a… well, OF COURSE he has a…but what does it…is it even close to…would it fit in…

·         The thoughts are too quick, too sporadic to even follow them to completion.  How would you even go about finding out????

·         The thought crosses your mind to call Donnie, but then you shut that down as quickly as it pops in your head!  

·         YEAHHHH…that would go over GREATTTT, you chuckle to yourself.  You imagine the phone call, “Hi Donnie, so, what does your guys’ penises look it?  And, would I be able ride it?”.  

·         You are more than sure you would kill the tall terrapin from shock.  RIP Donnie.  You’d never be able to look Splinter in the eye again after killing his genius son with a penis discussion.

·         No, you are just going to have to let this go and enjoy what you can have…what you do have…of your favorite orange clad turtle and accept the fact that love and relationships just weren’t in the cards for you.

·         Back in your apartment, Mikey makes himself at home, as per usual.  You always keep plenty of food and Orange Crush in the fridge because the boy could eat like there is no tomorrow.  After grabbing himself a snack and a cold Crush, he makes his way to your bedroom (nothing is off limits with this one).

·         In there, he’s able to smell your unique fragrance better and he has sorely missed your scent over the last two weeks.  Plus, he gets to look at all the pictures you keep from your travels and outings with friends.  And he LOVES your pictures.

·         Upon entering the bedroom Mikey finds your basket of fresh laundry on the bed.  On top are several of your bras.  Oh, he likes that.  

·         He grabs one from the pile and runs it through his fingers.  Wowwww…this thing actually gets to touch your boobies all the time. Right then and there he decides he wants to be a bra in his next life.

·         He is mesmerized by the lace and the shape of the cup.  You have a fairly large chest, so your cup size looked big enough….wait!....ohhhhh…he has to SEE this for himself!  

·         He puts your bra on his bald head, yep, like a little cap.  Mikey decides to take a selfie with your bra cupped to his head knowing that he’ll send it to you later when he’s trying to make you laugh for one reason or another.  When he first met you several months ago, your eyes were always so guarded and sad, it broke his big heart.  He enjoys being able to make your eyes shine with his antics.  He truly lives to make you smile and giggle.  

·         He puts the bra back in the basket and sits down on the bed and grabs one of your photo albums from the bottom shelf of your nightstand.  This one has your most recent trips in it.  There are pictures of you and the girls on your annual road trip you took a couple of months ago.  

·         You looked cute in your little sundresses posing with road signs and random café statues. Mikey’s smile grows wider as he sees pictures that your friends snapped of you when you weren’t aware, there is one of you asleep in the car, one of you pumping gas with your hair all a mess from being on the road , and another of you putting on your makeup in a hotel room.

·         He loves getting to see these glimpses of your life and how he wishes that he could be there in the car with you, traveling and making memories, just enjoying the small little moments that make life special.

·         Mikey keeps flipping through the album and eventually reaches the pictures from your beach vacation.  Here we go! Mikey rubs his hands together…bikini time baby!

·         Yep, bikini shots and LOTS of them!  Mikey eagerly scans through the pictures.  Damn, girl, you have one amazing body.  You tend to belittle yourself often and call yourself chubby, but all Mikey sees is that heart-stopping coke bottle figure.  Large up top, tiny waist, and hips and ass for days.  Hips and ass that large hands like his could really grab on to and just rail the fuck out of.

·         Yes, you are what dreams are made of…at least his anyway.

·         As he flips the page, he notices a picture of a beach sign on the top of the next page and the sign reads:  Gunnison Beach.  Huh.  I wonder why she took a picture of that beach sign.  As the pictures progressed down the page however, it becomes extremely obvious why….there were people….er, women….on that beach with no tops on!

·         Mikey chokes on his Orange Crush.

·         As he continues to scan the pictures, he sees one of you untying your bikini top…

·         NO!  She didn’t!

·         *Flips the page*

·         FUCK!!!!!!!!

·         YES SHE DID!

·         There you are on the top of the next page, sitting on your towel in the sand, laughing with all that glorious tit-tage out for the world to see!  Mikey swears his heart stops.  

·         He lets out a slight whimper and whispers out loud, “They’re…so… beautiful!”.

·         As he sits there he can feel his shell tightening and he is starting to get VERY uncomfortable.

·         He shifts his hips around a bit to let the swelling member out of its protective crevice and a bump starts forming in his pants.  

·         He angles the photo album down at the now prominent bulge and says to your topless picture, “You see this?   This is what you made me do.  You should be ashamed of yourself you little minx”.  Then he lifts the album and kisses the picture saying, “Nah, I can’t stay mad at you, Baby Cakes, don’t worry I’ll take care of it.”.

·         Mikey lays back against the headboard and makes himself comfortable.

·         He unties the sweatshirt from around his waist, lifts his hips to pull it out from underneath him and throws it on the bed.  It will come in handy in a few minutes when he needs to clean up.

·         Mikey opens the top drawer to your nightstand, knowing that’s where you keep your vibrator and lube…he’s snooped before (as stated, nothing off limits with this one).

·         He takes out the lube and squirts a generous amount into his hand.  He then quickly unzips his cargo shorts with his clean hand and pulls out his excitedly jumping member.  “Whoa, whoa, little buddy…someone’s impatient to get started. She really got you going, didn’t she?”.

·         Almost in response to the question, a drizzle of precum spilled out on to the flared head and slowly dripped on to the lower plates of his plastron.  What that woman does to me, Mikey thinks to himself.

·         He then grabs the photo album and drags it close so that he can pump to those beautiful tits that he’s finally getting to see in full view.  Geez, they are amazing, spectacular, better than even he imagined…and he has imagined them A LOT.

·         He slowly grips himself at the base and slips his hand with the lube all the way to the tip. “Mmmmmm”, he breathes out.  Now that his cock is fully slick, he begins to lazily stroke himself while talking to your topless picture, “Damn girl, you should walk around topless all the time, you look amazing.  What is that?  You want me to touch them and taste them?  Sure, my Sweet Honey Bun, anything for you.”

·         His grip on his cock starts to firm up as he imagines cupping your breasts with both of his hands and kneading them in unison.  He imagines that they feel firm yet soft and that their fluff slightly spills out over his hands as he strokes and squeezes them.  You let out soft moans and mewls and look at him with pleading, begging eyes to do more.

·         In his mind, he presses his snout to into the middle of the cleavage and inhales you, drinks you inside of him, feels you invade him, become one with him.  

·         He grazes one of your pink buds with his soft lips and you cry out and moan his name at the slight touch.  In response, he takes the bud fully between his lips and caresses it firmly before ending with a gentle peck of a kiss to it and starts to pull away playfully.  You whine at the loss of his mouth, cupping his head and pull him forward, and he rewards you but engulfing your nipple earnestly and hungrily, his tongue and teeth leading the way.  His breath hitches as he imagines your cries of passion as his broad tongue firmly pins the nipple to his top teeth and he gentle rakes over it before pulling back with a suctioned POP.

·         He imagines the pouty face that you give him and corrects you, “No, no, Baby Girl, I’m not done, I’m just sharing the affection.”, he says before repeating the same routine on the other erect bud that is begging for his attention.

·         He’s steadily stroking up and down his shaft as he imagines Y/N arching into his mouth, pushing ever closer, suffocating him with the pillowy flesh and he imagines the scent of arousal starting to permeate in the room.  The imagined scent pulling the animal in him to the surface and causing a low rumble to shake through his chest and abdomen.

·         No surprise to you, when you turn the key to your apartment and step inside all of the lights are on.  It seems you have a guest, now where is he hiding?

·         First, you check the kitchen because, let’s face it, you find him there 90% of the time. However, even though you saw evidence of Mikey, i.e. discarded food wrappers on the counter, Mikey wasn’t in the kitchen eating you out of house and home.

·         You purse your lips and call out his name, “Mikey, I’m home, where are you hiding you Lil ninja?”.

·         Mikey can feel that he’s in the zone by the mounting pressure that is building up in his lower abdomen when he hears your voice call out to him, “Uh oh”, he mumbles and freezes in mid-stroke.

·         While he isn’t one for getting embarrassed by ‘needs’, he doesn’t exactly want to shock you to death by having his dick out and in his hand when you sashay into the bedroom.

·         Quickly he throws the lubrication bottle back into the nightstand and shuts the drawer. Reluctantly, he closes the photo album and throws it back on the bottom shelf.  Lastly, he looks at his swollen, slick member and starts to feel a bit of panic…um…what do I do with you?  “Think, Mikey, think!”, he whispers to himself.  It takes him all of 10 seconds to realize he’s stuck and his Second In Command isn’t going to stop standing to attention anytime soon.  

·         He can hear your footsteps coming down the hall towards the bedroom, no escape there. Then it hits him….the window!

·         He quickly and quietly climbs out your bedroom window and stands on the fire escape.  He is VERY thankful that none of his brothers are with him or they would be laughing themselves sick over Mikey trying to stand in the shadows of the building with a raging boner.  He can hear Raph’s roaring laughter now.

·         You check the bathroom, no Mikey.  You eye your closed bedroom door and roll your eyes, imagining what mode of mischief you are about to walk in on, but when you open the door you do not find the mischievous terrapin inside.

·         “Huh…I thought he was going to wait on me.”, you huff out a little disappointed and enter the bedroom to change out of your party wear.

·         Outside the window, Mikey hears you enter and peeks inside and does a double take while whispering to himself, “Dannnggg girl, it should be illegal to go out looking like that!”.

·         He eyes your unaware form through the window and gives an appreciative “Mmmmm” to your look this evening.

·         Jasmine was your group’s resident fashionista and that meant that her birthday entourage’s attire had to be sexy and stylish.  You had opted for a small white crop-top style shirt, that was fully open all the way down the middle and held together by a crisscrossing chain that dangled down towards your belly button.  The shirt pulled to the farther side of each of your breasts, leaving a wide path fully visible and all the cleavage you had to offer was on display.

·         Your ample bottom half was draped in a skin tight, although flattering smooth, knee length skirt that was taupe in tone and with a slit nearly to your right hip. Tying it all together were the white stiletto heels with a stripe of orange down the backside of the heel.

·         While the whole ensemble was tantalizing, Mikey’s eyes followed that top like a hawk.  

·         The little chain trying desperately to keep the top together across your bountiful chest reminded him somewhat of the chains on his nunchucks, although this chain was very thin and shiny.  He knew he would never be able to look at his nunchucks the same way again.  You looked like a fetish fever dream come true.

·         His still stout member jumped excitedly at all the thoughts running through Mikey’s mind. He might as well finish what he started, how much worse can it get anyway?  He was already standing out in public, albeit in the shadows, with his dick out and saluting the world.

·         Mikey’s hand wraps around his aching member and starts to slowly slide up and down the length of it and he watches you start to undress through the window.

·         First to go were your heels, you remove them one by one while standing at your closet door, thankful to be out of them.  They are gorgeous, expensive little things, but dang if they didn’t make your feet cry for mercy!

·         Next you remove the earrings and bracelets you are wearing as you walk around the room to your bed.  You dip your thumps into the waistband of the skirt and starting to shimmy it down over your curvy hips, ass, and thighs.  Left in nothing but that crop-top and your cream colored thong, you sit on your bed to rub your aching feet….that’s when you notice the sweatshirt that doesn’t belong to you laying discarded on your bed.

·         Mikey’s strokes speed up as he watches you slowly shimmy and shaky out of that skin tight skirt.  He gives a little grunt as the waistband slowly slides down and over your ample ass. Shit, woman, he thinks to himself, what he wouldn’t give to grab that ass as you rode him…and that’s where his mind was, you were riding me with free abandon.

·         Up and down him pumps his cock, grunting under his breath and squeezing his girth as his hand trails upward.  He is so lost in the moment of your ass bouncing as you ride him in his mind that he isn’t paying attention to his own mouth, that’s when a hissed “Y/N, yessssss, Baby Cakes!” escapes him.

·         Inside your room, you pick up the Mikey’s coveted sweatshirt, the one he doesn’t go anywhere without, and look at it puzzled.  Why is his sweatshirt laying alone on your bed?  That’s when you hear your name being moaned outside the window.

·         Quickly you cross your room to the window and pull back the curtain to reveal more of the window pane and that is when you see him….it….um….him with IT in his hand.

·         You weren’t expecting none of this so, naturally, you shriek out in shock. “MIKEY!”

·         Mikey’s nearly closed eyes fly open and stared at your shocked expression.  Sheepishly he took his hand off his dick and gave you a little grin and wave through the window.

·         “WHAT do you THINK you’re doing out there?!”, you ask flabbergasted, “GET IN HERE BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU!”, you tightly scream, without actually screaming, as to not cause a scene and draw attention to your fire escape.

·         Slowly, like a child caught in the act, he raises the window and crawls inside.  He stands in front of you with his arms dangling over his crotch and crossed at the wrists, trying to hide his sensitive part from your stunned gaze.

·         “Mikey, what in the world…”, you start inquiring but can’t finish because you aren’t exactly sure what your question is, actually there are too MANY rushing into your mind at once to verbalize just one.

·         “Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”, he says as he stares at the floor, “It’s just that I saw the pictures of you on that topless beach and…dude, your boobies were so awesome that Lil Mikey needed some attention.”.

·         You pressed your lips together trying not to smile or laugh at his comments and let the shamefaced terrapin off the hook too easily.  He looked too fucking adorable standing there guilty and ashamed…well, as ashamed as Mikey, the free willed spirit, could be.

·         Deciding you couldn’t let this moment get past you and not take full advantage of it to answer some of those pesky questions that had been fully engaging your mind all evening, you took Maria’s advice and brought your inner diva to the surface.

·         In a stern voice you give him a command, “Mikey, I want you to SIT in that chair and not say another word.”, you point to the lone 70’s style armed dining chair you had found during one of your flea market trips.

·         Hesitantly, Mikey complies and sits in the chair with his hands still covering his crotch as best he can, he’s never heard you be stern with him before and fears that he’s really damaged your relationship with this stunt.  

·         “No”, you say, “hands on the chair arms.”

·         “But….”, Mikey begins but you cut him off.  “You heard me, you were just standing out in public fully exposed, why cover up now?”, you scoff at him with your arms folded over your chest, trying to keep your diva persona intact.

·         Mikey reluctantly uncovered his groin and rests both hands on the chair’s arms.  The entire time he isn’t making eye contact with you, he doesn’t want see the disappoint in your eyes…or worse the disgust that might show there.  Afterall, he flirts with you constantly but you’ve always been more reserved with compliments back, he guessed that large green turtles weren’t really in your taste range.  It didn’t stop him from dreaming though and expressing his admiration for you.

·         You stood there taking in the scene, barely breathing from the anxiety and excitement of it all.  There he sat, muscled arms gripping on the chair, flexing and twitching trying not to cover himself as commanded.  The tails of his mask brushing against his wide chest and that stacked chest dipping down into his narrow hips, leading to a very girthy appendage that was quite interesting visually.

·         Thick and dark, just slightly less girth than an eggplant, it stood stiff from the opening in his shorts.  It had to be a good eight inches, at least, and fanned at the apex.  The tip being double rimmed and flared around the whole diameter set your mind ablaze with the thoughts of the sensations it would cause.

·         Well, at least two of your questions were answered.  So, that’s what it looks like AND, being that stout and erect, yes you would be able to ride it.  It would be a super tight fit, his girth and the flared circumference of his head would stretch you nearly to your limits, but it would be…’doable’.

·         Your insides clenched at the idea and you inhaled sharply at the image in your mind.

·         “So, this is ‘Lil Mikey’?”, you question openly.

·         Mikey chances a side glance at your face as his hands fidget on the arms of the chair, you don’t look scared or disgusted, no disappointment that he can tell…although you’ve got a great poker face.  “Yeah….look, Y/N, I’m really sorry…”, he starts but you cut him off again.

·         Leaning down to level your eyes with his, “And, you were beating off to my topless photos, huh?”.

·         Uh oh, this is it!  Mikey thinks to himself.  She’s going to cuss me out and tell me she never wants to see me again.  

·         His clear blue eyes start to become glassy with emotion and he looks directly into your eyes, into your soul, pleadingly, “Angel Cakes, seriously!  I….I didn’t mean any disrespect!  I would NEVER disrespect you, you’re my closest friend, my…”, his head drops down at the realization of what he’s about to lose and he’s staring at the floor again as mumbles the last part, “my world.  My dream girl.”  

·         He slouches down in the chair, utterly crushed in spirit, ready to accept his fate.  You have never seen him so broken, not even after the incident of him being called a Monster at the police station.

·         That’s it. That’s when it happens.  You can feel the last remnants of those stone walls crumbling from around your shaking heart.  The dead heart, once dark with pain, now had a new ache.  It ached with a luminous glow for this oddity of man and nature.  Odd not in the physical sense, no, he was beautiful to you, but odd that he didn’t fit the mold for what you had come to expect from the world.

·         Quietly, slowly you straighten back up.  As you stare down at his defeated form, you gently pull at the tied chain of your top. Slowly you start to unlace each crisscross and release the top from the bottom-up.

·         Mikey can hear the tinkling of the chain and lifts his eyes, which are now quickly gathering tears into their corners, and sees your top gradually falling away from your breasts, revealing more and more of them until you stand before him in only your nude colored thong.

·         He stares at you in astonishment….seemingly too mute to speak, so you do the talking.

·         “Well, then, show me.  Show me how you like to be touched so I can learn…because I want to help you finish.”, you say huskily.

·         Mikey literally sits frozen (something you’ve never seen the ball of energy do).  Mind blown.  Overload malfunction.  So, you sink down on to your knees in front of him and rest your chest on his knees. You snake your arms up to his waist and pull his upper half forward to where you can rest your forehead on his and look him in the eye.

·         “Mikey, you are my world too and my dream guy.  Show me how to please you.”, you breathe to him and watch his blue eyes blaze with emotion at the admission of your desire for him.

·         Still forehead to forehead, you watch Mikey’s eyes dip down to your chest.  You grab one of his hands from the chair and bring it over to your breast.  You use his hand to cup you, you push into his fingers prompting him to squeeze it and then you lead his finger and thumb down to the nipple pinching as you go.

·         His sucks in a deep breath at the contact with your breast and he doesn’t release it until you end the contact with pinching the nipple, although the exhale leaves him as more of a purrrrrr.

·         The distinctly animal trait touches something deep inside and your rapidly swelling sex beings to lubricate and release.

·         Still touching foreheads, you watch is nostrils flare and pick put your scent.  A low rumbling starts to quake at the center of his chest and abdomen.

·         Your scent spiked with pheromones hexes him, casts a spell on him, pushes all anxiety and hesitation away from his mind, making him devoted to you and…your pleasure.  If watching him jack off is what you wanted, it is what he would give you.  Your wishes, wants, and desires were now his commands.  You held all power over him.

·         You watch the change in his eyes, once bright blue and pleading, now go more primal, dark, and determined.  Right before he pulls back from the brow touching position, you press a sweet accepting kiss to those lips you have spent so many nights dreaming about.  The kiss was quick, yet passionate and he smiled as he rested back into the chair.

·         With one last look at you, taking you in from top to bottom, bottom to top, he grips his own cock again and begins to move.  The contact makes his member go more rigid and seep more precum from the tip.

·         You watch enthralled at the display, the viscosity of the fluid makes it more opaque than you were used to seeing for precum.  You bite your lower lip out of habit and you hear the rumble in Mikey’s chest turn to a growl.  “Sugar Rush, don’t do that, I’m trying to focus here and show you something.  You biting your lip like that is distracting, I don’t know if I want to kiss you senseless or fuck your mouth.”.

·         You stare up at him from your kneeled position and mouth ‘sorry’ to him, then continue to watch him please himself.

·         His green hand rode up and down on his shaft with ease.  You watched how he stopped ever so slightly before the flared tip, squeezed just a bit harder, and continued over it, then back down to the base again. The same action repeated over and over, gaining speed and intensity as he sat looking you over, your lovely tits still shelved on top of his knees.  He could hardly believe this was happening!  All the time he had spent imagining, picturing, desiring your chest and now in the span of one evening he not only got to see them in pictures, but their lovely weight was being cradled on his legs.  SHIT.

·         Lost in thought of your chest, Mikey wasn’t paying attention to the tightening in his groin, the mounting pressure that was starting to push for release.  His right leg shoots out and goes stiff and his breathing hitches and picks up to a pant.

·         You watch his change and realize he’s about to lose it….and you want in on this.

·         His hand is still pumping away, but the rhythm has become unstable.  You reach your tiny hand up and wrap your fingers around as much of his base as you can, as firmly you as you can.  In response to your touch, Mikey’s head falls back and a much deeper purrrrrr flows out of him.  

·         However, your small hand by itself just seems inadequate, so you use your other hand to cup from the other side and effectively form a suctioning hollow between your two hands.  You slide up the length, tightening your grip right at the fan of his head, just as you watched him do, and then pulled up and back down quickly.

·         Mikey’s purring changes tone again, gradually going deep….so deep you lose track of the sound…but the audible aspect is replaced by another sensation…an echoing vibration that rolls through your entire body.

·         It feels like being on a very old, out of balance roller coaster and the jarring vibrations causing all of your flesh to CRAWL with tingles, including deep inside. There is now an….*itch*…is the best word you can use to describe it, from all the vibrating and you shift your hips around trying to ‘scratch’ at it deep inside you.

·         As you shifted around, more of your arousal scent mixed into the air and sent Mikey into overdrive.  His hand gave up on helping and he gripped both arms of the chair in a death grip. His breathing was becoming labored and turning more into pants of “Huhhh huhhh…huuhhh” as he bucked his hips into your cupped hands.

·         You doubled your efforts and sped up, stroking him with everything you had in her arms.

·         You were lost in the moment of the task that you were completely surprised when the strong terrapin launched forward, gathering you to his torso by gripping your ass cheeks alone, gives a few sharp intense bucks between you two, shooting his hot AMPLE fluids between your bodies and crying out in a straggled voice, “FUUCCCKKKK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS”.

·         He rested back in the chair, with you ‘glued’ to his torso with his own seed and rubbed your bountiful ass in caressing circles.  Feeling the squishiness between you, he quipped, “Look, Baby Cakes, we have a creamy center…..like an éclair.”.

·         You giggled at his lewd joke and shot back, “Speaking of desserts, I brought you that birthday cake you requested”, you stare up at his seductively, “still want to eat it off of me?”.

@tmntspidergirl @turtle-babe83 

@nittleboo

 @thebiggestnaturaldisaster

@coulrofillia-sexuell

@drheinzd

@quackmori

@turtlesmakemehappy

@thelostandforgottenangel

@fyreball66

@just-straight-up-chaos

If you know of another Mikey fan, tag them. 😁

OH, and JUST in case you are wondering....yes...the stories will be continued based on Asks that are already in my inbox waiting.  Stay Tuned!

[oots-digitalmedia]

Queer Rep in Dimension 20

Title: Dimension 20

    Status: Ongoing

    Core Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Emily Axford, Zac Oyama, Siobhan Thompson, Lou Wilson, Ally Beardsley, Brian Murphy (with guest seasons)

    Queer Cast Member: Yes

    Accessibility: Captions on YouTube and Dropout, fan transcripts available.

Summary: Welcome to Dimension 20, where comedians, improvisers, and all assortments of goofs play D&D! Led by Game Master Brennan Lee Mulligan, each season of Dimension 20 will bring you to a new world, filled with new characters and new dangers. Sign up for dropout.tv for the full experience!

Fantasy High 

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Emily Axford, Zac Oyama, Siobhan Thompson, Lou Wilson, Ally Beardsley, Brian Murphy

    Tags: lesbian PC, bisexual woman PC, asexual man PC, queer man guest PC, lesbian NPC, bisexual man NPC, gay man NPC, queer woman NPC, non-binary NPC, multiple LGBTQ+ NPC,

Escape from the Bloodkeep

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Amy Vorpahl, Mike Trapp, Matthew Mercer, Erika Ishii, Rekha Shankar, Ify Nwadiwe 

    Tags: queer PC

The Unsleeping City

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Emily Axford, Zac Oyama, Siobhan Thompson, Lou Wilson, Ally Beardsley, Brian Murphy

    Tags: trans man PC, non-binary NPC, multiple gay men NPC,

Tiny Heist

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Justin McElroy, Clint McElroy, Jess Ross, Lily Du, Griffin McElroy, Travis McElroy

    Tags:

A Crown of Candy

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Emily Axford, Zac Oyama, Siobhan Thompson, Lou Wilson, Ally Beardsley, Brian Murphy

    Tags: asexual man PC, lesbian NPC, queer woman NPC

Pirates of Leviathan

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Matthew Mercer, Marisha Ray, Aabriya Iyengar, B. Dave Walters, Carlos Luna, Krystina Arielle

    Tags: non-binary NPC, queer NPC,

Mice & Murder

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Ally Beardsley, Raphael Chestang, Grant O’Brien, Rekha Shankar, Sam Reich, Katie Marovitch

    Tags: non-binary PC, multiple queer men NPC, non-binary NPC, multiple queer woman NPC

The Seven

     Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Aabria Iyengar, Rekha Shankar, Persephone Valentine, Erika Ishii, Becca Scott, Isabella Roland

    Tags: pansexual trans woman PC, multiple queer PC

Shriek Week

    Cast: Gabe Hicks, Ify Nwadiwe, Ally Beardsley, Lily Du, Dani Fernandez

    Tags: lesbian PC, poly lesbian PC, trans man NPC, multiple non-binary NPC, multiple queer NPC, poly queer NPCs,

A Starstruck Odyssey

    Cast: Brennan Lee Mulligan, Lou Wilson, Siobhan Thompson, Zac Oyama, Ally Beardsley, Emily Axford, Brian Murphy

Tags: Queer PC, Non-binary PC,

More details and/or spoilers under the break!

Check out our other queer podcast recommendations here.

Fantasy High

ID tags: Kristen Applebees (PC): lesbian, Fig Faeth (PC): bisexual woman, Riz Gukgak (PC): asexual man, Hargis (guest PC): queer man, Tracker O’Shaughnessey (NPC): lesbian, Ragh Barkrock (NPC): gay man, Jawbone O’Shaughnessey (NPC): bisexual man, Ayda Aguefort (NPC): queer woman, Garthy O’Brien (NPC): non-binary, Shellford Turtleperson (NPC): LGBTQ+, Torek Railgrinder (NPC): LGBTQ+

Details and/or Spoilers: Kristen comes to terms with her sexuality in the first season, begins dating Tracker, Fig begins dating Ayda in the second season, Riz comes out as ace in the second season, Shellford and Torek are in the LGBT alliance at their school

Escape from the Bloodkeep

ID tags: Leiland (PC): queer

Details and/or Spoilers: Leiland used to be in love with Zaul'Nazh

The Unsleeping City

ID tags: Pete Conlan (PC): trans man, Nod (NPC): non-binary, Perry Pidgeon (NPC): gay, Orlando (NPC): gay, Rovias (NPC): gay,

Details and/or Spoilers: Orlando and Rovias are lion statue boyfriends, Perry is a pigeon in love with Kugrash, who leads him on.

A Crown of Candy

ID tags: Liam Wilhelmina (PC): asexual man, Captain Annabelle Cheddar (NPC): lesbian Queen Caramelinda (NPC): queer,

Details and/or Spoilers: Liam comes out as ace, the Queen is revealed to have previously been in love with woman,

Pirates of Leviathan

ID tags: Garthy O’Brien (NPC): non-binary, Ayda Aguefort (NPC): queer

Details and/or Spoilers: Garthy and Jack have a platonic one-night stand (x|m)

Mice & Murder

ID tags: Lars Vandenchomp (PC): non-binary, Jeremy Brockhollow (NPC): gay man, Osmond Sheffield (NPC): gay man, Millie Molton (NPC): queer women, Molly Milton (NPC): queer woman, Lady Calliope Fawnbrook (NPC): queer, Lady Tabitha Fawnbrook (NPC): queer

Details and/or Spoilers: Jeremy and Osmond are married, Millie and Molly are married, Calliope and Tabitha are married,

The Seven 

ID Tags: Sam Nightingale (PC): pansexual trans woman, Ostentatia Wallace: fluid sexuality, Danielle Barkstock: sexuality is “yes”, Antiope Jones: queer,

Shriek Week

   ID Tags: Seven (PC): lesbian, Megan (PC): poly lesbian, Cleetus (NPC): trans man, Drusille (NPC): poly lesbian, Yui (NPC): poly lesbian,  Vander Van Helsing (NPC): non-binary, queer,

A Starstruck Odyssey

ID Tags: Margaret (PC): queer, Riva (PC): non-binary

[swiftzeldas]

i was tagged by @incomprehensiblelentils in a ship meme!

1. First ship

unfortunately the first ship i remember, like, actively rooting for them to get together was probably ron/hermione. i started reading HP when i was like 7 or 8 and i remember always hoping they’d be together in the end

2. First OTP

i’m going with megan’s definition of this which is “first ship you felt strongly enough about to engage with fandom for” and hmm that’s actually still a good question. it MIGHT be aragorn/eowyn. that feels right. otherwise, it might just also be ron/hermione lmao. if we were gonna talk about which ship i first wrote fanfic for then it was PROBABLY something from warrior cats which is so funny.

3. Current favorite ship

i have replaced my brain with d&d actual play shows. i apologize. i am currently engaged in absolute insane amounts of brain rot over hardwon/moonshine from not another d&d podcast. (and listening to jake and emily talk about them on their patreon aftershow makes it exponentially worse, because they are fucking unhinged????) hardwon and moonshine are chaotic bisexual idiots who are deeply in love with each other without realizing it. listening to them teeter on the edge of admitting this is enough to make a listener lose their mind. like honestly i can’t remember the last time i felt this feral over a ship. 

secondary shoutout to ricky/esther/sofia from dimension 20′s the unsleeping city, because i just rewatched that and i CANNOT be normal. they are all in love with each other and i cannot be convinced otherwise!!!! further, i am about to rewatch a crown of candy so i expect i will be going feral over the stupid gummy bear/chocolate bunny ship again.

4. Your ship since the first minute

how could it not be marcus keane/tomas ortega from the exorcist? tomas was seeing him in his DREAMS. his first words to marcus were “it is you.” i stood no chance and neither did marcus, try as he might. 

5. Ship(s) you wish had been endgame

olivia benson/rafael barba. but alas, the ship has sailed so far it’s not even on the horizon. svu is gonna go with b*nsler endgame which i think is STUPID but whatever

6. Ship you wish was canon

tara/rosita on the walking dead. they were really MY SHIP when i was still watching it and that would be one ship that would have gotten me to jump back in. tara briefly had a girlfriend (played by the woefully underutilized merritt wever) who got killed off not long after she was introduced. idk, tara and rosita had a great connection and a lot of chemistry, and it’s a shame the show didn’t try to capitalize upon that especially since tara was already canonically a lesbian so they wouldn’t even have had to be perceived as “changing their sexualities”

7. Ship that most of the fandom hates but you love

i feel like it’s way more often that the whole fandom loves a ship i hate lmaoooo. this is hard! i do tend to enjoy some polarizing ships like darklina (from shadow and bone), but there are lots of people who ship darklina WAY harder than i do. 

8. You don’t even watch the show, but you ship it

i don’t really have many of these, so i’m gonna go for an OUAT ship even though i have watched ~some~ of the show, and that is that i ship hook/charming and it’s kind of as a joke but also KIND OF NOT A JOKE. there’s a particular fic i wish existed and i really don’t have the investment in the fandom to do it myself and i also don’t trust that fandom to write it either

9. Ship you wish had a different storyline

uhhh most ships on the office deserved a different storyline. i’d take out the random marital rough patch jim and pam go through in season 9. i’d take out the whole thing about angela and the senator so angela and dwight could have a better, more fitting storyline. i’d also rewrite andy and erin so andy isn’t such a douchebag, i’d probably write him realizing he’s bisexual and if he and erin aren’t going to work out i’d at least do that without erasing all of andy’s character development over the years. .....i love the office but the last couple seasons really did kind of goof up the ships

10. Favorite ship(s) that’s endgame

a lot of my ships aren’t endgame lmaoooo. i really like non-canon stuff a lot of the time. in the interest of not repeating myself i’ll say morwen and telemain from the enchanted forest chronicles! i could ALMOST call them my first otp but i don’t think they quite qualify. regardless, i love them, and they ARE ultimately endgame even though it takes awhile to get there. 

i tag: @ageless-aislynn @cleoselene @emmaswanned

[brynnmclean]

Hi! For your end-of-year TTRPG thing: 6 and 29!

6. As a player, most beloved NPC your GM created?

I already answered this one over here, but I'll think of a different answer now...

This is a tough question to answer, actually, because a lot of the games I played this year were collaborative or GM-less (For the Queen and variants like in the list of For the Drama, The Land Whispers, This Discord Has Ghosts In It, Fall of Magic, etc.).

And then the ones that did have GMs (barring Unfamiliar, which I mentioned here and picked my fave NPC) were heists (we played Boy Problems and a session of Neon & Chrome, both hacks of Lasers & Feelings) so were way more PC group centric.

Hey, okay, I came up with these questions which means I can find wiggle room with them, right? So I'm in a long-term Star Wars Saga Edition (so WotC D&D 3.5e kinda based) campaign set in the Old Republic era and I'm a zabrak ship mechanic (though I specialized in swoop bikes!). We started off in Lower City Taris and then eventually allied with a Jedi who helped us get off the planet when Mandalorians attacked. I liked this guy, gut instinct to trust him, which was saying something since my PC had really recently been betrayed by someone they loved. Anyway, we made it off planet and got to Coruscant and this Jedi NPC I already liked so much wound up being Revan himself. Does this count as someone my GM created? Maybe! The backstory was new and fun and then the reveal that my guy was Revan before he went Sith???? I loved that, I really really did. He's still my favorite of the NPCs in that campaign. Last session I got made fun of for having a crush and the banter between my crewmates and I was delightful.

29. If you watch/listen to Actual Plays, what is your favorite for this year?

Okay, I'm trying to remember when I subscribed to Dropout and started consuming Dimension 20 shows... Ah, looks like my college gaming group started all getting through Fantasy High first in February 2021, so it was all this year for me. There's a special place in my heart for Fantasy High: Sophomore Year (a few of those episodes are on Youtube). The character development that everyone went through in this second campaign with those first season characters was incredible. Adaine and her sister in particular break my damn heart. What a spectacular campaign.

Bonus answer: the most recent Actual Play I caught up on was Dungeons & Daddies (not a BDSM podcast) and I love that it feels like a group of friends that consistently make each other howl with laughter and oops!!!! We have all suddenly Caught Feelings. I love games that start out with goofs galore and then you get to the later episodes and you're crying over Ron fucking Stampler. Just... damn. It's good stuff.

[end of the year TTRPG questions]

[adultswim2021]

Tom Goes to the Mayor #1: “Bear Trap Brothers” | November 14, 2004 - 11:30 PM | S01E01

For some, Tim & Eric drove people away from Adult Swim. for me, it was a breath of fresh air, and it made me excited for it again.

I first learned of Tim & Eric from Bob and David’s website. Remember, they started a website and wrote in-character articles and stuff. Why, I remember a Ronnie Dobbs article about dating that advised not to tell your date “rape jokes” even if they’re really funny. I remember an audio sketch of Bob and Jay “January 6th” Johnston putting up Christmas lights and swearing a lot. I remember Doug Benson had a column called “I Love Movies” before it was a podcast. And I remember banner ads advertising a website called TimAndEric.com, which featured original comedy videos including “Tom Goes to the Mayor” and “Tom Goes to the Mayor Returns” featuring David Cross!

Another thing I remember, being a devout follower of all things Bob and David, was that Bob was sorta stopping performing comedy, deeming himself past his prime. It was weird to me, because in 2002 I saw Hooray For America, which was a live show spun off from Mr. Show they toured with, and Bob owned that fucking show. Everyone was great, including a pre-Joy Peters/pre-Flo from Progressive Stephanie Courtney, who was the lone female cast member on that tour. I got a chance to meet the cast afterwards and he was gracious and kind but seemed distracted and stressed out, probably focused way more on the production side of the show and completley unable to think about the fact that he turned in two effortlessly amazing performances that night; we saw both the early show AND the late show and marveled at the improvisational differences each iteration had. Bob always shined.

Bob seemed to make this decision after a disastrous attempt to co-host Jimmy Kimmel Live, in which the audience didn’t really appreciate his sense of humor. I remember him specifically saying in interviews that he was done being in front of the camera, and that he was gonna focus on producing comedy for younger talent. As the story goes, Tim & Eric, both admirers of Bob sent him a reel of their internet spoofs and goofs and he liked it, took them under his wing, and it eventually lead to Tom Goes to the Mayor, their first major “legitimate” work for television.

The show has a striking visual style, and I’ve never been able to compare it to anything else on television. It’s ostensibly animated, but using mostly photos and some drawings. Characters appear mostly as a rapid slideshow of sequential photographs but they are cut out into the scene and have a photo-copy style filter applied. Sometimes they are animated properly. A lot of what appears on screen is very cheap-looking, but the town of Jefferton is supposed to be a nightmarish shithole so it just sorta matches the show. Characters frequently are shown in extreme poses or with exaggerated facial features while delivering quiet, mundane dialogue. Sometimes there’s live-action, especially if it’s Bob Odenkirk appearing on a TV screen.There’s nothing like it, by god.

Tim & Eric originally pitched the show as a series of shorts. The idea of shorts was scrapped as Adult Swim hadn’t really done shorts in a little while and wasn’t planning to get back to making more. So it was upgraded to an 11 minute show. The premise is the same as the original web shorts: Tom Peters visits the Mayor in his office to pitch some kind of idea to benefit the town of Jefferton. They enact some version of the plan, and it usually goes terribly. In this one, Tom goes to the Mayor with the idea of using multiple bear traps to cover the city’s streets and other public areas in order to protect the town’s children from danger.

The show featured some live-action bits from Bob Odenkirk playing a John Walsh type hosting a show about cracking down on crime. These bits with Bob were a real selling point for the show for me. I was less excited about Tenacious D’s participation, one of the few members of alt-comedy royalty that I didn’t particularly love. My sole complaint about this episode way back when is the same one I have today: they get too much screen time. I loved Tim & Eric from the start and just wanted to watch scenes with them.

One thing I especially loved about this was the whole presentation Tom gives to the City Council members, which ends with him stating that there’s a likely chance that this plan will directly result in the injuries and deaths of many children by getting caught in the traps. Awkward pause. “Thanks.” End of presentation. Despite the acknowledgement that this plan could backfire tremendously, they are desperate to get the plan approved, so they stage a musical staring Tenacious D (ugh) as the titular “Bear Trap Brothers” depicting the council members approving the plan, which they do in real life. Honestly, I will say that despite my not caring much for Tenacious D, I will say they do elevate the material here pretty capably. I mean, they did write to their strengths rather well, and if they did a musical staring Tom & the Mayor or something it wouldn’t have been as good. I don’t mind admitting this.

The last scene depicts the town covered in bear traps, and we see dozens of the town’s children get caught in them immediately, and one shot of a bear effortlessly sidestepping one of them. Roll credits. Hey! There’s Dino Stamatopoulos’ name! Wow, I bet he did a lot on this show!*

The humor on Tom Goes to the Mayor isn’t for everyone. It’s pretty specific and dialogue-driven. I remember Bob Odenkirk trying to explain it on an episode of Dinner For Five, he said he was working with these new up-and-comers Tim & Eric, and he kinda tried to act out what they do and I remember him sorta stumbling through it while Rosanna Arquette nodded politely at him. I’m going to say this, and then end the write-up abruptly, because it sounds good, and I’d rather not think about weather or not it’s actually accurate: It’s loud comedy done quietly.

*He’ll be the first to tell you that he didn’t. 

EPHEMERA CORNER

Home Movies - Season One DVD (November 16, 2004)

You know what I have grown to hate? Detailing every special feature on a DVD. There are sites for this! FIND THEM. But anyway, I recall this being a long time coming, and it was the first Adult Swim show to not be released by Warner Bros. It came out from Shout Factory. I think that’s because it was a Cartoon Network co-production and that the home video rights actually fell to the Scholastic corporation or something like that? These are faint memories of people on the show trying to explain why it wasn’t on DVD yet.

Anyway, Home Movies finally started coming out on DVD and I remember being stoked. This had a few commentary tracks and a few substantial interviews, as well as some original comedy videos from the cast and crew including my favorite BABY PRANKS, wherein a crew of adults gently prank babies who can’t even verbally respond to what’s going on. There’s also a weird Easter egg where Loren Bouchard leaves an interview abruptly to vomit and Brendon and Jon H. make fun of him behind his back for being depressed and drinking too much and showing up to this interview hungover. Just guys being dudes, you know?

[bluepluto03]

I’m working on an atla yt au and I wanna ramble about it

- so jsyk it takes place in like a modern/atla fusion world, so they have modern tech as well as bending and atla animals

- note that when I say fusion I don’t mean modern America w/ benders. I mean I literally spent 4 hrs developing/world building what I thought the avatar universe would be like a thousand yrs post cannon, including cities, really basic politics, an education system, a job/degree/aprenticeship system that is very different from our own job market, bending certification, a back story for the dragons, a fifth air temple bc the genocide never happened, and some other stuff as well.

- (all of that for a youtube au. *sigh*. can anyone explain why I’m like this?)

- anyway the Gaang all have like 1 joint account that they’ll post to as well as their own main accounts. (They also have another joint account where they get someone to make like compilations of funny stuff from their vids and they donate all the revenue that acct makes)

- technically the only ppl officially apart of the Gaang/able to post on the joint channel are Aang, Sokka, Katara, Toph, suki, zuko* and yue. (Though yue posts there very rarely) but a lot of their friends are also YouTube’s and they like constantly collab w/ them to the point of them basically being honorary members

- * zuko doesn’t make a channel for a while,,, he just keeps appearing in his friends videos until ppl start demanding that he makes his own channel

- at first he’s like,,,,, nah bc he Legally is supposed to stay out of the public eye. (Bc of Scar Related Reasons) but eventually he’s like “actually fuck it” and does anyway

- so he just does a lot of random stuff bc he’s just,,,,, himself he has no freaking clue how to social media. Tho he does a lot of showing off his firebending and sword play stuff. As well as introducing everyone to the literal seven turtle ducks he owns

- aang shows off air bending plus has tutorials on animal care and gives advice. Also slot of vids about having good mental health, and random video game stuff

- Katara only really does video game stuff w/ others but she mainly does like water bending stuff, informational videos about healing (both bending based and traditional medicine based), and life advice bc she cares about everyone!!

- Sokka does a lot of video game stuff as well as lots of different weapon stuff! Tho obviously he specializes in the boomerang and sword. Zuko was on his channel a lot b4 making his own and ppl wondered if they were together since Sokka was very openly bi. (They were and ofc everyone freaked)

(Although on that note pls remember shipping real ppl is gross ty have a nice day)

- Toph!! Obvi earthbending but also Literally Teaching Metalbending since she u know invented it?? Also she has a podcast and has a lot of random asf vids on her channel

- suki!!!! She does a lot of makeup stuff, both traditional Kyoshi warrior makeup and those really out there types of makeup where ppl turn their faces into canvases. As well as obviously showing off her incredible skills

- yue does a lot of informational vids especially about the history of the water tribes and spirits! Also a short series of her doing suki’s nails bc for some reason suki is really bad at them?? Dispite being super precise with makeup???

(Spoiler alert suki just wants an excuse to hold her wife’s hand. Yes suki and yue are married don’t @ me)

- the main channel is mostly for them goofing around. They don’t have to put cross overs there (and they don’t put all of em there) but the main channel is just filled with them hanging out and being dumbasses. Also suki doing Sokka and aang’s makeup while yue does zuko’s nails.

- iroh gets featured in a couple of advice giving videos and somehow ends up with a Twitter that he just uses to give wholesome advice to anyone who needs it!

- Sokka and aang have a series doing a “buzzfeed unsolved” type thing w/ spirits. Except. U know. spirits are real. so poor aang is dragged along as Sokka cusses out random spirits apologizing after every word Sokka says.

- mai, ty lee, and azula have a channel called “the killer trio”. Mostly to show off ty lee’s acrobatics, mai’s knives/knife skills, and occasionally azula and her fire bending

- (azula is nice bc she left w/ zuko and Ursa when they were 11/13, then got A lot of Therapy. Now she’s on good terms w/ her fam, including her step dad and step sister)

- anyway bc her and zuko legally u know. Have to stay out of the public she very rarely goes on camera. When she does it’s usually wide shots sparring w/ one of her gf’s or her face is blurred. Her identity becomes a huge mystery and she’s just referred to as “the blue fire bender” bc that’s all anyone really knows about them

- she’s way more parinoid than zuko bc she’s actually a lot more scared of their dad and is trying to protect her brother even if he won’t protect himself

- ofc zuko eventually drops the truth of the whole thing (azula is like bitch wtf??? do u want Ozai to send a hitman after u???) but after all the legal stuff azula just. Casually posts a pic of mai and ty lee both kissing her on the cheek and the internet explodes

- (they knew mai and ty lee were dating but holy shit they’re dating the blue fire bender??? And she lives with them??? And she’s zuko’s sister??!?!)

- teo and his dad have an inventing channel and ofc Sokka shows up pretty regularly

- Haru has a very small channel mostly for fun tho he’s gotten his butt kicked in some of toph’s vids

- ppl like the bolder do not have channels they’re the equivalent of like actual famous wrestlers. Toph has invited them over to fight and has beaten all of them

- zuko has a video titled “I swear to Agni I can explain”. He posted it after about 3 months of not posting. The video features druk’s introduction.

[charmandhex]

A TOTALLY UNOFFICIAL AND VERY MUCH NOT SANCTIONED BY NBC OPENING SCENE FOR AN AS OF YET NONEXISTENT PILOT OF THE ADVENTURE ZONE: BALANCE ANIMATED SHOW THAT I AM 100% NOT GETTING PAID FOR

Credit to: the McElboys

No credit to: me, Charm H. Adventurezone, sleep deprived [job title redacted] and overly ambitious fic writer

[Our opening shot is of the world of Abeir-Toril (or whatever the fuck we’re going to call it to avoid copyright issues idk that redacted job title up there sure isn’t lawyer) as it drifts through the Prime Material Plane. From here, we can see little but clouds, water, and land masses. One regular-sized moon orbiting the world drifts into view. If you look closely, but you’re only looking closely because you’re a nerd who knows what to look for, you can see a much, much smaller moon -THAT’S NO MOON got there first Clint what now- drifts over a massive, still lake and a brightly colored spot that we might know to be Neverwinter, wait- Eversummer, hm, that was graphic novel, but can we use that there?- KINDASPRING there we go. The initial shot is quiet, for a moment, before seven notes -yes those ones folks- ring out.]

GRIFFIN [audio only]: I can guess what you’re probably all expecting. Some big, dramatic speech to match the big, dramatic intro we’ve got going on here. [As Griffin talks, we start to zoom in on a continent conveniently labeled NOT-FAERUN. We fly by our much smaller moon, but not close enough to see anything of interest – yet. We see Kindaspring, all busy and fantasy and so on. We catch a glimpse of a city buried in the shadow of a mountain range, with a bunch of dudes who all look the same. A city on a cliff, a shining gold monument in the center and trails of dust on a track around the city. Canyons, and a dash of pearlescent color just for a moment. Blink and you miss it, and a flash of a black and white tent in the woods near Kindaspring. You get the picture.] But, fact of the matter is, folks, we kinda blew all the budget on this one shot! Completely boned it in the first two seconds! So, let’s get right into it and roll some fuckin’ initiative- oh, can I say fuck? Are we allowed to do that, here on NBC Peacock? Shit, I’m going to completely bone our cussing budget too- anyway! Let’s roll some initiative and meet our heroes.

[Zoom in on wagon on road outside Kindaspring. It’s not a very impressive wagon. There are patches on the canvas. The wheels are all creaky and bouncy over the dirt road. The horses look like they could use a nap. There are stink lines, y’all. The road, meanwhile, is pretty well-used. There are ruts, and the sides of the road run clean and even. It’s surrounded by woods, and we’re far enough out of Kindaspring to not get any noise from the city, nor close enough to our destination to even get a hint of whatever the fuck I’m going to have to call Phandalin that isn’t Phandalin.

But back to our characters. Right now, only one is visible, a buff human man, like super buff, no you don’t understand animators, he must be a brick shithouse of a man, he’s very sensitive about this. He has massive muscles and massive sideburns, and he looks way too happy to be driving this wagon. You just know the vehicle proficiency jokes are coming. Cartoon GRIFFIN pops up in the corner of the screen, looking unimpressed.]

GRIFFIN: …Well, maybe not heroes. Three… boys. Three very messy, very murder hobo, very horny boys. [A beat.] Tres horny boys, if you will. So, uh, first up is-

MAGNUS [aware of Griffin and waving at everyone- listen, fourth wall breaks are kinda a thing for me, folks]: I’m Magnus Burnsides, human fighter! [Stat card for Magnus pops up on the side. There’s a not very flattering picture with it.] Also… [with the wagon reigns in hand, he starts counting off on his fingers, concentrating] Uh, master carpenter, man of action, rush into battle- oh, and I’m from Raven’s Roost, and-

[The canvas flaps blow open behind MAGNUS, and MAGNUS’S stat card disappears with a pop and a tiny bit of white smoke. TAAKO steps out, already exasperated and swinging a hand, colliding with MAGNUS’S head and pushing it to the side.]

TAAKO: Yeah, save the backstory for like… 40 more episodes, my dude. We don’t have time for that shit right now.

GRIFFIN: O-kay, guess we’re just gonna assume we can swear whenever we want.

[As GRIFFIN is talking, TAAKO stops pushing on MAGNUS’S head.]

TAAKO [triumphant, shouting]: FUCK!

[Flock of birds flies out of the trees.]

GRIFFIN: So this is Taako, the elf wizard [TAAKO’S stat card pops up. Much more flattering picture.] and-

TAAKO: That’s Taako, you know, from… podcast, elf wizard and baller chef, yes, thank you, very much. AND very, very beautiful. [TAAKO does a hair flip. There are sparkles and magical sounds.] And very, very bored. [TAAKO’S stat card disappears.] How far away is this fuckin’ town? What’s it called again?

MAGNUS [shrugging]: Beats me. [To GRIFFIN] Did we come up with a name that doesn’t violate copyright?

GRIFFIN [evading the question, because I still am]: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand last but not least, Merle Highchurch. [A beat. GRIFFIN sighs.] Merle, that’s your cue.

MERLE [inside the tent]: Wha? Somebody say my name? [Canvas flaps rustle rustle rustle. MERLE’S face pops out, looking around owlishly. He also steps out to the front of the wagon.]

MAGNUS [now very crowded and still trying to drive]: You missed your cue, old man.

MERLE [indignant]: I was busy studying my cantrips!

TAAKO and MAGNUS [in unison]: Gross!

MERLE: No, not like-

GRIFFIN [interrupting]: And Merle is a cleric! [MERLE’S stat card pops up. The picture was taken too high, so we can only see MERLE’S hair and forehead.]

MERLE: I’m a what now?

GRIFFIN [overly enthusiastic, it’s a bit now, folks]: Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar, clerics are kind of a support class magic user. They can cast things like buffs-

MERLE: Huh?

GRIFFIN [still overly enthusiastic]: and heal their party members-

MERLE: I can do that?

GRIFFIN: Clerics also serve gods, and Merle’s god is Mort-

MERLE [indignant again]: Hang on! That doesn’t sound right!

GRIFFIN [pushing out of his little bubble and leaning into the scene]: Then who is your god?

MERLE: Uh… Pan! [MERLE pulls out the Extreme Teen Bible.] See? Pan!

MAGNUS [whispering to TAAKO]: Okay, I guess this is how we’re resolving that whole thing. [TAAKO shrugs. MERLE is smiling. It’s adorable, like those little smiles Carey Pietsch does I love them so much, y’all.]

GRIFFIN: So, Magnus, Taako, Merle. Off on an adventure of epic proportions. [GRIFFIN is getting excited.] Full of action and danger and goofs and found family and-

MAGNUS: Now hold on! Epic proportions? Epic? [MAGNUS waves a hand around at the generally pretty chill woods, the boring road, and the stink lines wagon.]

TAAKO: Yeah, so far this is snoozeville, population, uh, me and these two chucklefucks.

MERLE [peering at GRIFFIN]: you sure you got the right dnd party, bud?

GRIFFIN [looking at audience]: We’re still negotiating contracts, so I’m filling in for, uh… someone. So for now, hey, I’m Griffin McElroy, your Dungeon Master, your best friend, and your announcer for this pilot episode. Ahem. [GRIFFIN clears his throat.] Grab your shields and ready your spell slots. Strap in your asses and… really, just strap in your asses. And, for the very first time, welcome to the animated version of… THE ADVENTURE ZONE!

[Title card and Mort Garson’s “Déjà Vu” plays. All my ideas went into dialogue, folks. Fan artists, this one’s all yours.]

[We pop back into the same scene as before.]

MAGNUS: Yeah, so, uh, like we were saying, before, uh, whatever that was, what we’re doing now is-

TAAKO [interrupting]: Hold on! We are not, I repeat, not doing some dumb recap where we explain this boring job... unless…

MAGNUS, MERLE, and GRIFFIN [all have gone laser eye meme]: UNLESS?

TAAKO [singing]: Flashback sequence!

[There’s a loud POP! as the scene shifts, and we’re now in your standard fantasy tavern. There’s a table with four chairs right in front of us, all of which are empty. The tavern acts as a backdrop behind that, illustrating just how fantasy this world is. We see humans and elves and dwarves yes, because we’ve already seen them, but also Gnomes and tieflings and haflings and orcs and Genasi and aarakocra (try spelling that one, folks ;) I’m sure that won’t come up later) and so on and so forth.

There’s another POP! as GRIFFIN’S window reappears in the upper right corner. He looks slightly ruffled.]

GRIFFIN [straightening his hair and glasses]: Wow, that is going to take some getting used to. Anyway, the boys should be here in a second, and-

[Three more pops as MAGNUS, TAAKO, and MERLE appear in three of the four seats at the table. MERLE lands upside down. He immediately starts struggling to right himself]

MAGNUS [looking at the empty chair and frowning]: Wait, what was the name of the guy we were meeting again? Gumdrop?

TAAKO: Hm… Gurgle? Guava? Gumbo?

MERLE [having finally righted himself]: No! My cousin, uh… um… oh, that’s right, Gundren!

[As MERLE says GUNDREN, another pop as GUNDREN pops into existence in the chair. He looks like if you put MERLE through a grinder, not like we’re gonna run into one of those in an episode or two, right, fellas?

Nasty boy that he is, GUNDREN lets out a grunt and then spits on the floor. People have to clean that, GUNDREN! This is why you- (SPOILERS REDACTED)- anyway.]

GUNDREN: So, like I was saying, boys. You take my wagon from here in Kindaspring down the road to Mandolin-

TAAKO: Oh, that’s what we’re calling it?

MERLE: I thought that was another TV show?

[Up in the corner, GRIFFIN shrugs.]

GUNDREN: Uh… yes? That’s… what it’s called? [GUNDREN looks suspiciously at them. It seems like he’d give the job to someone else in an instant, if literally anyone else would take the job. But magically, he’s stuck with these boys.] But, uh, you get my wagon and my goods to Mandolin, and I’ll let you in on the next job. And that job, boys… [GUNDREN laughs. It sounds like if you threw rocks in a blender.] That’s the kinda job that will be the last job you ever need to take.

MAGNUS [cheerfully]: Well, that sounds murdery!

[There’s a loud POP! and we’re back on the wagon again, all of our boys already in place.]

GRIFFIN [shrugging, smiling]: Guess you’re going to find out! Oh, and boys… let’s roll initiative.

[appleciders]

i just started dimension 20 and i love it so much, but what should i watch after i finish fantasy high: sophomore year??

hey dude!! i’m not sure i’m the most qualified to answer—i just started d20 at the beginning of january! i’ve been binging it and i love it a whole lot, but i haven’t watched all of the seasons yet. so far, i’ve seen both seasons of fantasy high, a crown of candy, and season 1 of the unsleeping city. i haven’t watched any of the things with a diff cast, like pirates of leviathan or tiny heist or bloodkeep. 

that said, i think it really depends on the vibe you’re feeling at the moment? the thing that i think’s so fun about d20 is how tonally different the campaigns are. so i loved a crown of candy a whole fucking lot, but you need to go into it prepared for it to be emotionally intense. i didn’t know anything about it and was kind of like oh!! candy people!! and then i wasn’t prepared to be in a gritty world where PC death is possible at really any moment. it also hit a bit too close to home for me at some parts of it, so if you’ve experienced recent loss i would go in knowing that. that said, i really do think it’s a beautiful exploration of harder themes!! it doesn’t pull punches and the cast acts their asses off!! and they are still comedians, so it’s definitely still very funny throughout. and the sets and worldbuilding are so creative it’s mindblowing.

i really like s1 of the unsleeping city too!! it definitely has more of like a superhero-ish vibe—it’s in nyc, it pulls from a lot of tropes, but i think it puts a fun wacky and creative twist on what we’re familiar with. the characters are both larger than life and human (i guess some aren’t human-human lmao but they’re still like /people/ in a very flawed and awesome and familiar way) and i really love them all. i listened to it on podcast while i worked out and did errands and stuff, so i feel like i can’t speak to the sets as much, but from what i’ve seen rick perry did it again! in an episode of adventuring party lou says he’d want it to be adapted in like a spiderman: into the spiderverse kind of style, and it really has that kind of technicolor tone. if you’re looking for something a little less intense, i’d start with this one! i will say tw for alcohol and drug abuse though.

speaking of adventuring party, i really recommend it after you’ve finished acoc and unsleeping city s1!! its very entertaining lmao its just like 7 friends on a zoom call goofing off and occasionally answering show related questions. hope this helps!!