#gotta act chill even in the winter weather

[cloveroctobers]

DECEMBER HCS🥶 — 5. BARRY OBX ; ‘Ol Christmas Tree

Dialogue Prompts: “I don’t control the weather.” + “you should just stay here tonight.” + “that is one big tree.”

A/N: I haven’t written for Barry in a little while and I feel like these prompts work best for his character. And I kinda miss mr. Plug 💀 We are now in the official final days of December prompts for me. I’m unsure if I’ll finish up the month but it’s looking like I might just write for this week and call it quits…depending on what I feel like after work. Any other works that I had on the list I might carry into January if I feel like writing and those will be titled as my winter prompts. Enjoy!

WARNINGS: fluff mixed with shit-talking what else is new? 🤩

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Just your luck it was snowing the evening you and Barry decided to go out and rob yourselves a tree

Well that was his plans not yours

“Look, all we gotta do is run up in somebody’s back yard. You keep cover and I’ll chop us down one of dem things and we can go on about our business.”

Barry twirled the axe in his hands as you made sure you were completely bundled up before leaving his trailer

At first you weren’t keen on that whole idea but as soon as the flurries began to actually stick while you were just approaching the woods, the other half of you started to consider it

Snow in the obx never got out of control like in other states so the most you would get was maybe a inch or two but nonetheless you weren’t a fan of cold weather since it made your skin act up big time

Which is why you stole one of Barry’s ski masks—you had to play smarter not harder

“How deep do we have to go?” You questioned, squeezing your fingers to your gloved palm as you stopped over sticks and damp grass

Barry smirked underneath his own mask as he glanced back at you, “as deep as you can take it.”

A kick to his butt got him to shut up

The longer you walked with a wagon being pulled behind you, the more you didn’t see the importance of getting a tree anymore, “how much longer? It’s freezing out here.”

Barry stopped in the center of clearing, mental deciding which direction to take, “na uh don’t you start whining, girl. You came to me with this shit and I was perfectly fine snatching somebody else’s miles ago.” He pointed, “I don’t control the weather so we gotta deal until we find one.”

You mocked him making him quirk up a brow but you didn’t care. You were slowly but surely over this whole thing which was common with you, you tended to get bored very fast

“This is why I told you to check the weather before we left.” You grumbled

Barry rolled his eyes, “why didn’t you? You keep your battery more charged than I do unless it’s for business purposes. I ain’t nobody’s fucken grandpa. The weather better check me.”

You snorted as Barry swung the axe through the air making you immediately jump back as he caught himself with a wide grin

“Watch it! Are you trying to take my head off?! I knew there was a reason why I made sure to walk behind your ass!”

Barry sucked his teeth, “I was not gonna hit you, I’m far from accident prone.”

“You can’t even probably use a shot gun.” You argued while Barry glared at you

“I’m better with blades, sue me. Now are you done screaming at me or do you want to get a damn tree?”

You glanced around the night flashing your large flashlight around as a chill went up your spine. The woods was always creepier at night and the white coating did not make seeing things any better despite the big ball of light in your hands

Stepping forward you aggressively looped an arm through Barry’s still flashing the light any and everywhere making Barry laugh from beside you

You nudged him with your shoulder and he placed a mask covered kiss to your mask covered cheek as the both of you began to head to the left

“I got us girl.”

Yeah sure

“That’s one big tree.” You commented sitting in the wagon, dangling your legs as Barry kept swinging at the “perfect tree”

Barry huffed, “which is why I want it.”

“It’s bigger than the both of us and I only have one wagon Barry, I think the one to the right of it is better and will be easier to bring back to my truck.”

Barry huffed as his axe stayed planted into the bark of the tree

He looked at the one you now had the light flashed on for a brief moment

“That Charlie Brown ass tree. No.”

“It’s cute!” You argued.

Barry snickered, “yeah if you liked cracked out trees.”

“Then it’ll work out great at your spot.” You smirked

Barry gave you a look, “I didn’t ask for the smart lip.”

“Yeah you did. the moment you asked me to be your girl, so stop messing around with that big ass one and take the skinny tall tree over there instead, before it’s you I have to wheel out on the wagon since you suddenly think you’re Hercules.”

Which brought on a stare down between you two. He ran his tongue over his teeth thinking about it before he placed his boot on the axe to pull it from the tree

He placed it over his shoulder not even looking your way as he went over to the manageable tree and got to work

You let out a sigh as you stepped back to stare at the balsam tree that was placed in the corner of Barry’s living room

The lights you managed to get around its thin greenery brightened up the dim room and brought some joy to your eyes. You didn’t care what Barry thought, it was cute and worked in his home

A smack to your backside immediately made you turn to Barry who hit you with one of his philosophy books as he lay on his stomach on his couch

“Ow?!”

He smiled a dimple smile at you pressing his chin into the cushion, “we did good, huh?”

“Yeah we did.” You placed your hands on your hips staring at the adorable tree again

While you continued lovingly staring at the tree, Barry peeled through the blinds to see the snow still going. If he had to guess it was approaching 2 inches now and wouldn’t be stopping for at least another half hour

It was getting late already and Barry didn’t want to you leave, knowing that you hated driving in the snow and your home situation wasn’t the best with your mother…

He wasn’t living in the Taj Mahal but he certainly could give you better even if it’s only for a night 

“Hey, you should stay here tonight.” He rolled back over

You moved to sit on the edge of the couch in front of Barry, eyes still on the tree

He wrapped an arm to rest against your thigh as you thought about it

It didn’t take long as you laid down with your back pressed to his front and Barry tossed an arm over you pressing his nose into the back of your shoulder

“Wanna give me a massage?”

“I knew it!”

“What?”

“I thought you weren’t ‘nobody’s fucken grandpa.” You imitated his statement from earlier, “what hurts grandpa? Your back?”

“And so what if it does?” He muttered which you let out a laugh in response, “that was one big ass tree.” He defended himself

“My poor baby.” You cooed bringing his face into your chest as you caressed his hair beginning to rock him

Barry rasped, “alright alright. As much I love being face to face with the girls you didn’t answer my question.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t. Let me cuddle you for a minute and then I will.”

“As long as you don’t fall asleep to get out of it like last time.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m a working woman too ya know.”

“I know you work hard for the paper, I respect it.”

“As you should, now be quiet and look at our tree!” You squealed

Barry quickly sucked his teeth and situated his head comfortably on your chest and stared out at the Christmas lights while also listening to the light platter of snow outside and your heartbeat

Which put him right to sleep this time and made you breathe out a laugh + move to press a kiss to his forehead as the Christmas lights reflected off your eyes

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Continue along with my December anthology series here.

[unlocktxt]

frostbite | c.sb

choi soobin

day 5 of 12 days of christmas

genre: fluff, soobin x reader

description: it’s been snowing a lot lately, but that’s a given with the weather. your december went on as usual until the lonely jack frost starts nipping at your nose.

word count: 1.8k

warnings: cracking ice, near death

your sweater wasn’t nearly enough to save you from the cold’s wrath. its chilling air had already invaded the front of your house and you had only opened the door just a second ago.

unlike your shivering self, your little brother tried darting out of the door without any appropriate clothing. he pushed past you and threw his tiny legs into the white snow while you stood in awe.

“junseo you’re going to catch a cold!” you holler, warning him of the days he’d have to spend bedridden. he didn’t listen though, continuing the pick up the snow with his bare red hands.

you sighed walking into the snow to drag him back into the house, just now realizing that you were snowed in.

“here... if you go get into your winter clothes then i’ll play in the snow with you.” you made sure you were eye level with the five-year-old, so you were able to see how his eyes lit up. this time he didn’t waste any time rushing out of the snow and back into the house.

you could only shake your head from behind him, taking note to teach this kid how to close the door. however, at this moment it probably didn’t matter because seconds later he came rushing out dressed. he even brought you a pair of gloves and a hat.

“okay what first?” you asked him while walking over to your garage.

“sledding! then skate!” he stood beside you while you opened the garage. he was so adorable, his nose red like rudolf- making it hard to resist pinching it.

it had been quite a walk to get to the hill leading to the pond. unlike previous years, there wasn’t really anybody around at this time. you didn’t mind though, your brother would occupy all of your time either way.

“okay hop in the sled.” junseo didn’t need any convincing. in fact, he was so eager that he ended up pushing off while getting on- having learned after repeatedly watching you and your parents from previous years. you hadn’t realized his departure though, having to take a call from your mom.

when you did look back at him, he was already halfway down the hill heading straight to the pond. your heart dropped as your legs moved before your mind could think.

you tried running as fast as you could to catch up to the sled, but your feet kept sinking into the snow- making it nearly impossible to get some speed.

your adrenaline was pumping as you watched hopelessly- only being able to pray to whoever could help that the pond was in fact frozen over.

even when you saw the sled slide across the ice you knew you couldn’t trust that it still wouldn’t break.

“junseo don’t move!” you screamed hoping he would hear. luckily he looked back at you and nodded before looking forward once more.

you were out of breath by the time you got to the pond. junseo was in the middle of the pond and you could see the cracks that had already formed, but when you carefully stepped onto the ice it was solid.

when you looked back at your brother there had been a man leaned down on his knees that was talking to your brother. you hadn’t seen him beforehand and it would’ve been hard to miss his blue hair.

“junseo! thank the world that you’re okay!” you hurriedly wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. he had pushed you away shaking his head.

“no! thank jack frost!” he looked back over to the man smiling at him.

“yes thank jack frost.” you exhale, going along with it just because you were relieved.

“you’re welcome, but you can call me soobin... that’s my real name.” you turned your head to look at the pale boy with blue hair covered in frost.

“oh right! sorry... my brother has a great imagination. thank you for making sure he was okay.” you had linked hands with your little brother who had just gotten out of the sled.

“well... he’s not wrong. i am technically jack frost.” he got up from his knees, finally revealing his height as he towered over you.

you chuckled, “how so?” you were expecting a joke... maybe even hoping for a flirtatious joke.

“i just am.” he shrugged. your brother was looking up at him with wide admiring eyes. great. this boy was insane.

soobin caught onto your nervous chuckle and not wanting to lose the only people that could actually see him... he decided to prove it.

“look i can prove it to you.” he opened his palm- showing you a small spiraling frost tornado. it amazed you. junseo went over to touch it, causing it to fall like snow.

soobin was smiling at junseo before sprinkling some snow onto him. it warmed your heart, but you also couldn’t help thinking that he was acting like a fairy from tinkerbell.

“wait... so jack frost is real?” you crossed your arms. it was pretty convincing, but it doesn’t really make any sense.

he was silent as his eyes glossed over. he looked up at the sky probably thinking of what to say. his eyes were a beautiful silver color and surprisingly they weren’t cold-looking, but they were kind eyes. kind sad eyes that told the world of their scars.

“i guess you could say i’m somewhat a spirit. i wasn’t jack frost all my life, but then one day...” he paused looking at junseo, “i was blessed with this cool ability. the two of you are the only ones who have actually noticed me around.” he explained to the best of his ability.

“why doesn’t anyone else notice you?” you were genuinely curious. someone as handsome as him is bound to be noticed.

“it’s almost like how you don’t remember a random stranger’s face days after. for me it’s just a little more intense.” you nodded trying to take everything in. that must be a pretty sad life.

you nodded, deciding to drop the subject. “i’m y/n and as you probably already know this is my brother junseo.” you smiled at him before grabbing the sleigh.

“okay then y/n... hopefully i’ll see you around and make sure to keep a good eye on junseo.” soobin held his hand in his sweatshirt while rocking back and forth on his heels. “i’ll be around.”

you nodded before turning around. you only took one step before you started to hesitate.

“would you like to stay at my house? at least until christmas.” you turned to look at him dead in the eye. when you made eye contact with him you started to get shy especially when he looked at you with those wide glistening eyes.

“no... i couldn’t do that, but i’ll make sure to stay around.”

you didn’t really know how things would turn out, but you wish that soobin wouldn’t be cold.

the next morning you couldn’t get soobin out of your head. you swear you even had a dream of him. his soft blue hair could never be forgotten and the silver eyes that stared into your soul. how could he already appear in your dreams?

the laughter from outside had turned your attention away from your dream. you walked downstairs in your pajamas to see your mom cooking some breakfast.

“good morning y/n. i have to go to work soon, so you will have to watch junseo again. he’s outside right now.” your mom smiled at you while nodding her head to the back door. you nodded, shuffling your feet over to the back door with your long pajama pants.

when you opened the door you could see junseo and the blue hair that seemed to follow you awake and asleep. you looked back at your mom before putting your boots on.

you closed the door slowly- not wanting the two boys to notice you. soobin had made ice walls to hide them from each others wrath. the two of them showed no mercy as they continued to throw snowballs. after junseo had continued to miss some shots soobin made sure to step out from his wall.

as soon as he got hit by the snow he’d fall over and jokingly act as though he was severely injured. you couldn’t help but snort when the snowball hit him dead in his face. this caused soobin to turn his head towards you as a lightbulb went off in his head.

“nurse! nurse, please help! i’ve been injured. i admit my defeat! this kid is no joke!” he wailed holding his chest.

you shook your head while rushing over to him. junseo stood proudly- celebrating his win.

“oh my... your injuries are severe.” you pretended to scan his injuries before pressing your cold hands against his cold forehead. the lack of warmth shocked you at first, but when his cold hand gently pressed your hand further on his forehead you nearly jumped.

“you’ve gotta fix me doc... i have a beautiful lady that i can’t leave.” you had to break eye contact because the intensity he held was making you blush. he didn’t stop looking at you though.

“r-right! junseo i need your scarf!” you acted as if you were in a hurry while trying to avoid soobin’s roaming eyes.

junseo had to resist his laugh as he ran over to you with his scarf. when the scarf was in your hands you had to pat soobin down.

you pretended to wipe the sweat from off your forehead, “that was a close one. no more roughhousing okay boys. we can’t have soobin dying can we?” you turned towards junseo who nodded. when you looked back at soobin he had a smile on his face, but nodded with junseo.

after playing the three of you had sat down on the snow... despite it causing you to become even colder.

“y/n you wanna know what soobin told me?” junseo looked at you while soobin looked at him- wondering what he told the little boy.

“what did he tell you?” you exaggerated your sentence while putting your hands in your lap.

“the reason that we can see him is because we believe in him.” junseo was smiling, but you only tilted your head in confusion. you looked at soobin for him to explain, but you were met with a smirk.

“despite not being as young as junseo... you still believe in jack frost. so y/n when we’re you going to stop pretending like you didn’t believe i was real in the first place?” he got closer to you while tilting his head to mimic you. at this point, you were blushing.

“i wouldn’t say i believ-” soobin cut you off by getting closer and placing a soft kiss on your nose. if that didn’t cause you to freak out then when he rubbed his nose against your to give you an eskimo kiss definitely did. you hopped up with your red cheeks and nose before rushing inside leaving soobin’s laughter behind.

your mom had just finished cooking breakfast when she looked at you.

“must be cold out because it looks like jack frost nipped at your nose.”

blood red. your face turned blood red.

[eerythingisshaka]

Ficmas Day #24 “Christmas Ain’t Christmas Without Tre”

[Trevante Rhodes x Reader]

Word Count: 1.8k

Running out of your work building, you curse under your breath as the snow falls heavily to the ground.  You have a bad habit of not checking the weather and in the winter time that spells for a potential disaster, much like tonight.  The snow, coupled with the fact your car is in the shop, means getting home is not going to be easy.  

You blow your hand for heat as your other roots through your coat pocket for your phone.  Scrolling through a rideshare app, the little map showing your area has no cars available for picking you up.

“Fuck!  Why is everyone so scared of the fucking snow?”  You look around and see the diner down the street from you is still open and take a chance on heading for it.  You teeth chatter the whole time as you run and the wind blows flakes into your eyes.  Crossing the street you hop the curb but your heel hits a bit of ice, making you fall flat on your behind.

You wince in pain and get up slowly, walking up to the door and letting yourself in.

“Aw man, lady!  You ok?  I saw that from back here.  That was a damn nasty fall!”  The employee behind the counter shakes their head as they bring dishes back to wash.  You wave a hand signaling you’re fine.

“I just need to sit here.  Warm up and wait for a ride.”  You slide into a booth and groan in relief as you sink into comfort.

“You’re not gonna see a car in this.”

You look up and see Trevante standing by you in a camel colored coat looking suave and manicured as usual.  You can tell his eyes are a bit nervous though.

“How in the hell, of all places, are you here right now?”  you ask harshly.

Trevante looks away with a quick smile.  “I’m just here catching some late night eating.  Doesn’t mean anything with you.  I’m just about ready to head out anyway so-”

You sit up quickly.  “Wait, you drove?  Can I ride with you?”

Trevante’s eyes widened.  “Don’t you have a license?”

“Yeah, but my car is in the shop.  Plus no rides for me to call, so...please?”

Trevante’s expression gives you an instant feeling of regret.  “Wow, we say please now?  You’ve grown up, girl.”

“Ahhh whatever dude, just help me out.  We never gotta do this shit again.”

He points his hand out for you to lead the way out the door.  As you both walk through the parking lot, your mind runs some scenarios through your head: awkward conversation, awkward silence, his hand reaches for the gear but you think he wants your hand and you catch his and he looks at you funny-

“Why are you so quiet?”

You jump as he breaks your inner monologue.  “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re kinda acting weird.  My car’s right here.”  

You go around to the passenger side as he unlocks the doors, sliding into the seat and quickly shutting the door.

“It’s cold.”

Trevante turns his motor on.  “No shit it is.”

You adjust the vents in the dashboard so that the air flows your way directly.  “I mean that’s why I’m not talking much.”

“Ok.”  

The car is silent except for the roar of the heat circulating around you.  You wriggle in your seat trying to find a comfortable position but with little progress as your knees hit the dash in front of you constantly.  Reaching under the seat, you pull the bar to slide the seat farther back.

“You changing my shit over there?”  Trevante asks 

You reach for the side of the seat to lean it back a little.  “Can I have this one time courtesy?  Ain’t my fault you let little people ride in your car now.”

“I don’t let anyone ride in my car or make any changes in my car.”

You scoff, leaning back and crossing your ankles.  “You let me do whatever I wanted in this car.”

Trevante grips the steering wheel and looks up through the windshield.  “That was before.”

“Yeah, you right.  My man has a bigger ride than this so it’s usually not an issue but…”  You don’t finish your sentence as you feel the atmosphere change in the car.  You look sideways at Trevante but he’s facing his driver’s side window.  You silently curse yourself for coming off as boasting and try to change the subject.

“You gonna drive or what?”  

Trevante leans back with his hands in his lap.  “I’m waiting for this snow to pass.”

“What do you mean?  That might take all night, I gotta go home now.”

“You meeting somebody or something?”

“Maybe, like that’s your business anyway!”

Trevante laughs in a way that isn’t funny.  “That’s crazy.”

You turn to confront him.  “What is?  I don’t have all day to be here.”

“You’re coming at me while I’m trying to help your stranded ass!”

“No one asked you to-”

Trevante leans forward waiting.  “Say again?  No one asked me...to help?  Was that what you were gonna say?”

You sit back quietly, watching the snow fall against the window in fat clumps.  You ask yourself why you’re so mad and combative but maintain a wall for the time being and hoping for the snow to stop.

Trevante fidgets with a vent that is turned to you, adjusting it to blow in his direction.  “What happened to your car?”

You clear your throat.  “It’s a transmission thing or something.”

“Damn, it’s still got that issue?”

You nod.  “Yeah but, it’s fine.  It’ll get handled.”

“Ok.  I could’ve looked at it but-”

“I don’t need the help.”

Silence overtakes you both again as the snow entrances you, filling each space of the window.  

“Remember when I got you that shelf for your TV?  And it delivered that afternoon, but I had to go to work so I said I’ll put it together when I got off.  And when I got home-”

You snort laughing at the memory.  “It look like someone broke in and destroyed a perfectly good shelf.”

Trevante laughs with you, covering his face.  “Girl, don’t nobody fuck that up like you, man I coudn’t even do nothing with it.  Half the pieces were missing and it look like you beat it with a hammer at some point.”

“It was frustrating!  I did my best!  There you go hating!”

Trevante shakes his head.  “I’m not hating.  Like you said, you did your best.  You try a LOT.”

“It’s my best quality!  Giving up is not my forte!”  

You study the fabric of Trevante’s from his bicep to his wrist.  When your eyes land on his hand, you see an old scar from the very shelf debacle.  

You lightly smack the back of his hand to get his attention.  “Let me ask you for one favor:  Come with me to get my car so I know they not tryna charge me out my ass for it.”

Trevante shrugs his shoulders with uncertainty.  “I’m not sure.  What do I get out of that?  Driving you home here, checking your car out there?  What’s in it for me?”

“Nothing but a job well done.”  You wriggle down in your seat comfortably.  As time passes, the snow seems to be getting worse.  Trevante turns off the car’s engine.

“Why you doin that?  It’s gonna get cold!”  Your complaints fall on deaf ears however as Trevante remains steadfast in conserving energy.

“If I don’t have any gas to take you home, then what will happen?”

You groan, feeling the chill of the outside seeping in within minutes.  You shiver, pulling your coat tighter around and leaning into your knees so you form a ball.

“It’s not all that!  Come on!”

“I don’t have any other choice!  You’re freezing me out!”  

Trevante sighs, placing a hand on your back to give you a shake.  “Come over.”

You peek over at him cautiously.  

“Since you’re in my care, I’m offering a heat source.  Take it or leave it.”  He waits with his coat half open to you patiently.

You lean over to him without hesitation, feeling his strength as you lay against him.  Resting your heart on his chest, you hear his heart beating loud and strong.  Its percussive hum settles your mind, relaxing you as you drift off to sleep.

When your eyes open again, you barely can tell your surroundings as the area seems darker than before.  Your hands slide from around his waist as you look up.

“The snow stopped,’ you say out loud, waking Trevante with a slight jolt.

Trevante rubs his eyes and yawns aggressively.  “Shit, how long did we sleep for?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t wanna get up.”

Trevante squeezes your arm with sleep still in his voice.  “Nah, we’ll sleep better once we out this car.”

You sigh.  “Fine.”

Turning our face up to him, you give him a peck on his lips before thinking and freeze in place.  You and Trevante stare into each other’s eyes as your lips lock, frozen in fear.  You pull  yourself back slowly.

“I wasn’t thinking.”

Trevante doesn’t say anything.  He just continues to stare, unblinking.  “I don’t need a reason.”

Once your gaze fell from your eyes to his lips, your body catapults towards him again, snaking your way around him to let his seat back flat.

As you crawl across to straddle him, Trevante looks around worried.  “What about the man you talked about?”

“I lied.”  You swing your leg around and start undoing his pants.  “I don’t know why, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“But-”

You pause unzipping him with a huff.  “I don’t need an explanation!  You don’t need a reason!  That works, yeah?”

His hands reach around you, pulling you in to him.  He helps you out of your bottoms, feeling your hottest outside of your clothes than in them.  You kiss the familiarity of his hands as they travel every area of you enjoying the ride in his driver’s seat.  Your body shakes from being reintroduced to him, unable to calmly enjoy the feast for fear of being hungry again.

When he drops you off at your residence a while later, you hesitate getting out of the car.  When he reaches for your hand, you squeeze it tightly.

“I’ll see you later, you know?”

He nods.  “Of course.  You know where I am.  Just text me before the car is ready though so I don’t feel used.”

You laugh quietly.  “Come in.   Just come inside.”

He looks away with restraint.  “That’s dangerous for us.”

“Walk me to the door.”

You get out of the car, waiting for him to follow you.  As you get your keys out of your pocket and in the door.

“Imma go now.”

You walk in and leave the door open for him.

[al3x1ss]

Bring them to your home for the holidays {HCs}

Includes: Oikawa, Akaashi, Noya, Terushima, Kiyoko

THIS IS WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE READER! ALSO, ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

Author’s note: In my family, thanksgiving means the Christmas stuff is put up after breakfast, so I got this idea ab the holidays and I got v happy. Enjoy!

Warnings: None, fluffy holidays for y’all!

Oikawa

okay mans HATES the cold confirmed

like snow comes he’ll probably hiss

(HISSING AT SNOW ME HONESTLY LMAO)

(Not me seeing a few feet of snow with my sisters and going “wow look at all that cocaine”)

ANYWAY

so y’all met when both of you happened to be in Brazil and he thought you were cute

long story short you had a few dinner dates, even hung out with Hinata!!

you guys hit it off very well :)

so you guys have been together for about 2 years and you’re like ya know what

“Come to my house for the holidays :)”

not only is this man a simp but he loves the warmth so ofc he says yes!!

so while you’ve lived here all your life, only really moving out of Tampa to Miami, you did have to take this tourist him to a basic spot

but you did want to take him to some of your favorite places

after him seeing your family again, you took him to one of your favorite carnivals!

then classic gotta go to the beach I mean

why not go to the ocean!!

issue with December weather in Florida is it changes every second so today was a bit C H I L L E D

(You did have to force him to eat something other than rice tho)

Picky eater kawa confirmed

what better way to spend December 25th than Disney

I mean

Mans whole went “wow 😍” when you told him

Kiyoko

BEST WOMAN I LOVE WOMEN

ahem

you were an exchange student during her whole high school career, turning into best friends and deciding to go to college together

college came along, and with the help of a few friends, parties, and a little too much twister, you realized

you were actually lesbian.

which you know what, we support!

it’s not like you’ve never liked a boy, it just happened to be that women were more your type

oh yeah another thing

Kiyoko is the prettiest thing in your eyes.

OH ANOTHER ANOTHER THING

HAVE I MENTIONED YOU REALIZED THAT YOU’VE ACTUALLY LIKED HER SINCE YOUR 1ST YEAR IN COLLEGE

NO?

OKAY.

so what you DONT know is that Kiyoko has realized she actually feels the same

during your third year in college, she had broken up with her boyfriend of a year, Tanaka, but never told you why

Huh

i wONdEr whY

But, after living in Japan for 7 years, Christmas time is rolling around once again

And you are going home for the holidays!

usually you would go home during summer break, but this time you really wanted to spend Christmas since your older brother had your niece!

and since Kiyo didn’t have any plans you were like

“hey, do you want to come home with me?”

home girl choked on her water 😳

“H-home?”

“Yeah! I’m going back to New Orleans for the holidays.”

cue brain calming down and like sLIGHT disappointment

but

it’s you

and she loves you.

HANGING OUT WITH YOU SORRY

so you guys did presents and stuff

your niece LOVES Kiyoko btw

your dad was like “👀”

I SEE YOU YOU SEE ME MAn

been knew you were 💅AND HE SUPPORTS

so around 4 you’re like let’s go do something!!

and she says okay!!

so one movie Kiyoko really loved was “Princess and the Frog”

Funny enough there’s actually a bakery you’ve gone too growing up

so you get New Orleans’ best beignets!

Ahh, fun times

next, you’ll always hear some type of caroling anywhere you are in the city

which means?

SMALL PARTIES

DANCING

FUN TIMES

you see random groups of people smiling around 7pm, the sun already down

and you’re thinking to yourself

Hey

I want to ask her to dance.

and you do :)

YALL BUST D O W N LIKE YES MAAMS

continuing

Finally at around 10pm you take her to this one street where each place has a bunch of Christmas wonderlands lit up

hile it doesn’t really snow in New Orleans, people used fake snow!!

gotta get that spirit somehow 😗

when I say Kiyoko is a goddess I mean it

the lights bouncing off her face while she’s smiling?

*chefs kiss*

Terushima

ah yes the city that everyone thinks is a state

IM SORRY J

BUT IM NOT EHDJFJHH

So

Chicago!! ✨

Terushima HAS visited Illinois before

However, surprisingly has never been to Chicago

So you were like

I’m born here!! 🥰

Come come!!🥺

And he said

Si si!! 🤪

so y’all flew out on the 20th

while your parents don’t live here, some old friends do

and why not have them meet your amazing boyfriend!

literally all of them were shocked I mean

(Y/N) likes a boy with a tongue piercing?

wack

the amount of BONKERS

but yes you love him very much

and he loves you!!

honestly your friends already fell in love with you two being in love it’s canon

afterwards you guys went too ZooLights

HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU

“YUJI MY PANTS ARE WET”

“IM SORRY PRINCESS IT WAS JUST A GOOD TIMING-“

you threw one at his face

Not y’all fighting like little kids-

n e wayz

best way to end the 24th?

ice skating-

nope.

It’s actually buying late presents because you two actually forgot to get some people presents and Christmas is literally in like 4 hours!!

YOU COULDNT CATCH YUJI IF YOU TRIED😳

MANS WAS ZOOMIN THROUGH EVERY STORE

GRANDMA? GOT IT

UNCLE? SURE

NEPHEW? YOU DONT EVEN GOT A NEPHEW

It was mega fun tho

surprisingly y’all didn’t get kicked out

you almost did when Terushima thought it would be a good idea to ride a skateboard into the electronics section at target 🤡

but we will ignore that for tonight ❤️

Akaashi

A NOTE:

this one will be the longest one with the most detail for certain reasons! also, for akaashi’s you do have a given birthday because Dec 30th is actually my birthday and I wanted to sprinkle in some of that ❤️

alright

best for last :)

So you got to be in an exchange program during college

and that’s when you met akaashi since you guys were in the same classes!

he also showed you around and was very sweet

so you offered to get him coffee

and after a while he confessed by giving you a copy of a book you both really loved

but

you semester was ending

which means home for the holidays

luckily, you guys would only have one more semester away from eachother before you guys graduated

but you did want to spend the holidays together

so you offered for him to come to New York with you

boy got excited so fast my heart-

wOOSH FOR THIS MAN

But like Christmas in New York with your loving boyfriend of 4 years?

Sign me up

So you know that during winter it’s a hit or miss with snow

is it still freezing cold?

Yes.

But can we guarantee 3 feet of snow every December?

No.

But we can guarantee it in like March JEJHRTJ

so

one thing you told him immediately was that you guys will be watching the ball drop from the roof

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get mugged, shoved, or vomit on my shoes, Keiji.”

Yes ma’am indeed

so you guys had a pretty (quiet?) Christmas

your family?

LOUD AS CAN BE

but

Regarding to going places

You guys chilled all day in pajamas

Like the most y’all did was go to dunkin for hot chocolate

but the days leading to New Years?

GOTTA GO GO GO

Classic tree photo yes ma’am

nut crackers AND THOSE GIANT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS ACROSS FROM JIMMY FALLONS STUDIO?

Y’ALL KNOW THE STREET I FORGET THE STREET LMAO

bro side note their kabobs in that one corner

best thing I’ve ever had I stg

I haven’t been to the city since last Christmas wow now I miss it

OKAY NVM SORRY

you wanted to show Keiji so many things

but

You were used to walking like 10 blocks in any shoes as fast as you can

Akaashi was not 😂

So y’all had to take breaks sometimes

get him warmed and fed ya know

give the man smoochies 🥺

id be giving him smoochies 24/7 if I could

so you better for me 😠

His favorite place was the big Macy’s no lie

the perfumes and cologne section on the 2nd floor looked SO WELL PUT TOGETHER

okay nvm scratch that

FAO Schwartz was his favorite place

he loved the trains

you bought him a train as a late present SHH NO ONE SAY NOTHIN

So the 29th you decided to take him to where you were born

Brooklyn!

it was super fun showing him where you lived before you went to college

and before your siblings moved to different parts of the city

It was lovely

But the final thing you wanted to do was December 30th

your birthday :)

and one thing you absolutely love to do is ice skating

now usually you go ice skating at the public rink like a few minutes away from Rockefeller rink

not only was it cheaper, but there was a Panera like 2 blocks away so quick food!

but

you also wanted to give Keiji the experience

so you sucked it up and paid

you guys went at around 8 and had a blast

one of the best birthdays with him honestly

but, you realized people were starting to exit the rink at around 10

“Doesn’t the rink close at midnight?”

“Huh, weird.”

but Keiji kind of starts looking around while you realize you two are the only ones on the ice

So you’re like

I guess we have to get off 😔

But this sly fox

Pulls you to the center of the rink

Now, you were never one for the cliché act

Especially since so many proposals have happened on this rink that you’ve seen

But when you saw Keiji get to one knee

It didn’t even matter that this happened to so many other people

It was happening to you.

And it’s ESPECIALLY CLICHE

THAT IT WAS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

however

I guess you can just suck it up, cuz at least you have a ring on your finger :)

- Lex 🖤🤍

End note: Let me know if you guys would like a part 2! Also if you have any ideas for a certain character or place, put it in asks!

[twiceblackvelvet]

Soulmates?

requested! 

Early rises and strolls to work for the opening shift are far more pleasant than imaginable. The sun rising slowly over the horizon whilst the pathways are clear of other people and hardly any cars noisily taking up road space. It’s calming, beautiful, in fact, to see the change in hues in the sky from a deep orange to a lighter yellow once it’s high enough above everything else. A camera roll full of pictures taken with the beams blazing down could never possibly do it justice, but it does help take off some of the chills during the winter months just looking at them.

It’s quite an easy job, truth be told, the only complication that ever presents itself is through difficult customers and they are few and far between thankfully. Doing the rounds to turn on all of the appliances and the fridge lights is a welcomed routine compared to the never-ending cleaning that comes with a closing shift. It should be a world record how long it takes to hoover the floors, mop them, and then try not to mess up all of that hard work by creating a shoe path through the wet flooring.

For the last six months, Mina has been working at the convenience store, and taking on every single shift her schedule will allow whilst still trying to continue her studies. Serving customers isn’t the be-all and end-all but she is grateful to have been offered the position with no experience in hospitality whatsoever. The owners had recently had to let go of one of their original employees after he was caught taking money from the register thus she was hired before even sitting the interview out of desperation to replace him.

Whilst there are a few customers who are tough to deal with, there are also the locals who are always full of small snippets about their lives, or, will simply offer a courteous smile if their own day is not going as planned. Her favorite, however, is watching all the young and in love couples enter the store together, there’s something about watching their small yet romantic gestures toward one another, and whilst the green-eyed monster known as jealousy would rear its head for anyone else, Mina merely longs to feel what they are one day with her true love.

A soulmate is a difficult thing to explain to anyone which is why it is taught and told from such a young age. The idea that there is one single individual wandering this Earth who is meant to be just as in love with you as you are them, and no one else seems unreasonable or forceful at best. Every relationship in life is significant and can work if each of you put in the work to make sure that it lasts. Just look at how often people will get attached to celebrity relationships, only for them to break up a few years down the line and people are convinced love isn’t real. In fact, there are many people during her life who have told her it was a crazy idea to hold out for ‘the one’.

However, Mina has always been a hopeless romantic and never been able to grasp the concept of dating multiple people when there is a very clear sign on her right hand linking her to the one she’s meant to be with. The one who will offer her a tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach whenever they exchange so much as a glance. The one who she’ll meet for the first time and something inside of her will click, telling her that they are the one for her. The one who will offer her endless reassurance whenever things in life get difficult. She’s always wanted it all, and more. But, they’ve yet to enter her life and whisk her off her feet.

Her mother would often share tales about meeting her father when they were younger, both of them too scared to reveal their markings, both of which being on their legs in the shape of a tiny rocket, to confirm what they had believed to be true, that they are soulmates. But, one day her father invited her mother to a break from an intense study session by going into his pool. They had both completely forgotten about having not shown their markings but as it turned out, they were the exact same. It was always Mina’s favorite bedtime story to hear about how her parents fell in love with each other, their own firm belief in soulmates only furthering her desire to find her own.

There were plenty of people during her early years that Mina thought were going to be the one, and rather than following entirely in her parents’ footsteps, she’d find any excuse to look at people’s right hand, such as holding their hand as she grabbed a skipping rope from them, or even going as far as gifting the girl next door an orange every single day on the bus to school until one day she took it with her right one. All of which failed miserably but she never gave up hope that one day it would simply happen without her having to think too much about it.

A small four-leaf clover resting directly in the palm of her right hand. It’s beautiful, and Mina often finds herself tracing it back and forth whenever she’s bored. Her father had explained to her that it must mean her life with her soulmate will be full of luck, but finding them alone will require a lot of luck, Mina isn’t so sure she’ll be gifted any more beyond that.

Today is no different from every other morning shift, no one bothers to enter for at least the first hour which means restocks and ordering anything that appears to be running low. The higher shelves she has to grab the old wooden ladders from the storeroom in the back, which, she’s convinced are going to one day give way and break causing her to crash through the display behind her. However, the manager, Mr. Kim,  no matter how many times she asks him to get some new ladders simply states that he’s going to soon. When soon is exactly, Mina has no idea but she doubts it will be soon.

“Is anyone working?” A high-pitched voice calls out close to the counter. From her spot on the bottom rung of the ladders, Mina can only just say make out some brown hair.

The bell for the door to signal a customer had entered has clearly not done its job as Mina quickly rushes around to see who it is that’s waiting for her. Fortunately, it isn’t one of the angry customers who no doubt would have put in a complaint about her for not being at the counter, but instead, it’s Sana who works in the coffee shop just up the street and often calls in for a morning visit when they’re both on earlies. Mina thinks Sana has a sixth sense about this because they’ve never formally exchanged schedules with one another nor do they know each other beyond each other’s respective workplaces.

Sana’s own soul mark is directly under her left eye, a small golden star with sparks flying off of it. Mina adores it and finds that it makes Sana’s already beautiful eyes even more charming to look at.

“Ah, there you are Mina. Here, I brought you your usual. If the morning is kicking my ass, I know it is for you too.” Sana says as she hands over Mina’s usual order of an americano. Her eyes look tired and Mina can tell she isn’t fully present as of yet. “What were you doing? Do you know the bell is broken?”

“Restocks,” She quickly takes a sip of the piping hot drink, Sana subconsciously doing the same but regretting it when it burns her tongue a little. “Thank you for this. It was warm out on my walk-in but those clouds look threatening.” The pair of them look out the window to see the sky now lacking the sun-flamed sky that Mina adores and replaced by dark, overcast clouds. “No, I didn’t know the bell was broken until now, it seems everything is falling apart in here.”

“Did you get your new ladders yet?”

“Nope.” Mina pauses to look back toward where they’re just standing in the middle of an aisle and gives herself a mental reminder to move them once Sana leaves. “I’m thinking about just fetching my own in from home, we’re never going to get them and now, the bell probably won’t be fixed for the foreseeable.”

Sana’s eyes follow Mina’s toward the aisles and then drift up toward the bell above the door. She places her cup down onto the counter and taps Mina’s hand to get her attention back on herself.

“Don’t bring your own. I might know someone who can bring you some and fix the doorbell, you’ll still be here at 1 PM, right?”

“Yeah, I finish at 3, but you know he’ll never agree to pay for any repairs Sana, and especially not ones he hasn’t personally authorized”

“Don’t worry about it Mina, she owes me a favor anyway. Just take it as yet another act of kindness from your favorite and prettiest barista.” Sana chortles, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Oh, Jeongyeon is going to get some new ladders for me? I didn’t realize that’s what you meant.” Mina jokes knowing just how to make Sana a little jealous.

“Very funny, you know I meant myself, not her… Though now you’ve said it, you’re right, it could have meant her.” There’s a quick flash of Sana’s eyes unfocusing and drifting off likely to thoughts of her co-worker who she’s been dating for around a year. They aren’t soulmates but Jeongyeon isn’t a believer and Sana thinks she has too much love to give for one person. However, Mina has often caught Jeongyeon tenderly stroking Sana’s soul mark whenever they believe no one is around.

“Who is it?” Mina queries upon realizing Sana never said who it was that would be her savior.

“Hm? Oh… right. Don’t worry about it, just a friend of mine who can repair it for you.” Sana quickly looks up toward the clock on the back wall and picks her cup up from the counter before shifting toward the door, bell once again not working when she opens it.  “Okay, I gotta go but 1 PM, be here not hiding in an aisle, or next time I might just snitch to Mr. Kim. Bye!” She shouts heading out before Mna can say goodbye in return.

It’s a fairly easy day, the weather does indeed end up turning sour as a downpour quickly starts not long after Sana had left and doesn’t ease up even for a second. There are only a handful of customers who enter and the majority of them are simply trying to escape the rain, which Mina is supposed to ask whether they’re going to purchase anything or not but she doesn’t have the heart to force them out into the cold, thus there was at one point just a collective of people stood by the door hoping for a dry spell that never arrives. They do all fortunately shuffle off one by one, all of which running to their cars or the next building for shelter.

By the time 1 PM rolls around, Mina had completely forgotten about her conversation with Sana. The ongoing entertainment of watching people force their jackets up over their heads whilst trying not to walk into streetlights had provided enough of a distraction for her. So, when someone with their coat up over their head holding a pair of ladders enters the shop, Mina simply believes they’re a customer.

The coat comes down to rest around her shoulders and reveals a face that is small yet striking. Eyes dark and wide, nose bright red from the cold, and the rest of her skin an olive color. She’s tall, quite tall in fact as she stands above the very ladders she’s holding around her left arm. A toolkit rests in her right hand, it’s small but looks heavy, however, if it is, the girl doesn’t let on as she carries it easily. Her frame hidden by the huge coat slumped around her but Mina finds her breathtaking and can’t quite remove her eyes from her face.

“Um… hello?” The girl waves a hand in front of Mina’s face dragging her out of the hypnosis she’s sure this girl had just put her under. “Are you Mina?” Yet again, Mina drifts off elsewhere upon hearing her name exit this girl’s mouth so softly.

“Y-Yes... I am… Mina. Yes. Sorry. I’m Mina.” She stutters, quickly trying to make even a slight bit of sense.

“Yeah, I got it the first time. Sana told me you need some ladders and your doorbell is broke?” The girl poses as a question but quickly gets to work looking at the doorbell which isn’t far away from her head but Mina would struggle to get anywhere close to reaching it. “Those are yours, by the way.” She points toward the ladders. They’re brand new, metal. Far sturdier than the wooden ones.

“Thank you, um…” Mina hesitates, realizing she hadn’t asked for the girl’s name as of yet, nor did Sana tell her who she was.

“Tzuyu.” She states flatly, never bothering to look back toward Mina whose eyes are piercing through the back of Tzuyu’s head never moving.

It doesn’t take her long to fix the doorbell. The batteries inside had managed to corrode and damaged some of the inner-wirings but luckily, Tzuyu had some spare on hand in her toolbox and got it back to signaling the door opening and closing in no time. Mina has no idea what Tzuyu has just technically done as she’s never been the most gifted when it comes to repairs, however, watching her weave the wiring together and connect all of the pieces back together certainly looked impressive.

There’s an awkward silence for a second as Tzuyu steps away from the door to finally look at Mina once again, neither of them knowing how to finish off this unpaid transaction of services.

“Um… Thank you,” Mina starts, but is unsure how to continue, just knows that she wants to continue talking. “So, Sana said you’re doing this as a favor to her?” Mina tries to ask, Tzuyu, however, moves to retrieve her toolkit from the ground.

“Yes. She’s a good friend.” Tzuyu says coldly, turning toward the door to leave but then swiftly back to the counter. “It was… It was nice to meet you, Mina.” Her voice more upbeat this time, yet forced as she outstretches her right hand in front of Mina.

Without hesitating, Mina grasps her hand in her own in a handshake. However, her skin immediately feels an electric shock the second their palms connect with one another, and Mina is stunned into just standing there frozen. Tzuyu is the first to pull her hand away which startles Mina back to reality realizing she wasn’t alone in feeling it. But, before she’s given the opportunity to talk to the girl in front of her the small four-leaf clover resting in the center of Tzuyu’s palm quietens any words that were close to escaping leaving them stuck in her throat.

Tzuyu catches sight of Mina’s same soul mark and immediately rushes out of the door and away from her without a word.

A big part of Mina is telling her not to be stupid, telling her not to risk her job by chasing after her and potentially being seen as a weird stalker. However, the other side that desperately wants to figure out if this moment is the one she’s been searching for, the one she’s been seeking since the very first time she was even told about soulmates. With the consequences for her actions at the very back of her head, she dashes out of the door following Tzuyu and runs to catch up with her, stopping outside of the coffee shop where Sana works as she grabs onto Tzuyu’s arm to stop her, the same shock feeling coursing across her skin as she does so.

“You have it too and you feel it. Tell me… that you feel that.” Mina huffs out, breath struggling to catch up to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tzuyu blurts out hurriedly upon noticing some eyes starting to watch on, her own eyes refusing to look at Mina. “Let me go.”

“No, I know you feel it. I saw you pull away just before… and you have the same mark like me. You know what this means, right?”

The silence between them returns as both Sana and Jeongyeon exit the coffee shop together to watch the interaction between the two girls unfold, a few people stop in the middle of the street to eavesdrop in, one of them even pulling out their phone to record it. Jeongyeon moves to ask them to put their phone away and they reluctantly comply.

“Is everything okay, Mina?” Sana asks.

“Yes, Sana, everything is fine.” Tzuyu answers for her. “Go back inside.”

The two girls shuffle back into the coffee shop, however, they remain by the door just in case whatever is happening between Mina and Tzuyu goes further downhill than it clearly already is even if neither of them will say why.

“Please, just say something… I know you have it too.”

“Look, Mina… I don’t know what kind of fantasy world you’ve created for yourself inside your head that you so clearly live in… but just because you have the same tiny little mark as someone doesn’t mean anything. Yes, everyday people rely on such a silly little thing to determine their entire lives, and good for them if that’s what they want. But it isn’t for me. You’re not for me.” Tzuyu’s voice cold and without any emotion whatsoever, and yet Mina can feel every single emotion inside herself all at once fighting for dominance over which one will retort back to her.

���But…” Mina barely whispers, unable to form a full sentence.

“But nothing, we just met.. You can’t really believe that we’re now supposed to spend the rest of our lives together because of that one single moment.” Tzuyu pauses, waiting to see if Mina will answer before continuing when she doesn’t. “Plus… I already… I already have a girlfriend.”

For the first time in her life, doubt about who she is supposed to spend her life with has managed to creep up and break down all of the previous standards for love Mina had put. Her hand uncurls itself from around Tzuyu’s arm and she sinks down to the floor because she’s right. All this time, Mina thought that having a soulmate or one set person who you’re supposed to always be with was how life is supposed to be, giving it far too much control and power over her to the point where she has likely pushed away plenty of others who would have no doubt made her happy, made her fall in love, and made her look forward to her future.

Instead, she’s given all of the power and control to someone she hadn’t even met yet. Now that she has, she realizes her mistake because Tzuyu could never be the one for her, even if the mark is there. They are not compatible whatsoever, not at this moment. Perhaps, during different times in their lives, they could be perfect for one another, and perhaps they could live out all of the things Mina has dreamed about. But Tzuyu is taken, and Mina is too much of a fantasist.

Mina can feel Sana and Jeongyeon slowly raise her up off the ground, however, her entire focus is on Tzuyu’s retreating figure walking away from her down the street. She can hear them talking to her and asking what has happened but her throat is unable to produce sound. Everything feels so cold and as if she’s surrounded by emptiness.

Perhaps, there is no such thing as soulmates after all. Perhaps, there never will be.

[zoe-oneesama]

Serving up some LOOKS! I love Mylene's Ivan sweatshirt! Would you be willing to talk about what sort of style elements you use for each character? (If you already have and I haven't found it, please ignore the question, that's on me)

I mostly did this for Mendeleiev’s class back when Punch was starting Leave for Mendeleiev, and I did a small run down for how the Main 5 fashion will change in Scarlet Lady, but not Bustier’s class sooooo:

Marinette -[I’m copy/pasting from an earlier ask]- When she likes a color, she sticks with it. She has a versatile wardrobe, but pink must always be present. She has the hardest to nail style because she experiments all the time, but no matter what she doesn’t feel comfortable unless she has an outer layer. Summer, Winter, Shorts, Pants, she needs to the comfort of a jacket - for Tikki to hide in when her purse isn’t appropriate.

Adrien -[Also C/P]- Basic B*tch. He thinks he’s fancier than he is. Oh sure, his clothes are well tailored to him and fit well, but they’re basic as hell. Gabriel isn’t as “innovative” as he thinks he is. Most of his clothes have the Gabriel logo and he sticks to the brand…because Adrien has no fashion sense whatsoever. Oh, he knows in theory what works and can put an outfit together, but he doesn’t want to. If it were up to him, he’d wear tshirts with physics puns and cat themed jackets. But alas, when one is an icon…

Alya -[C/P]- Mom Vibes. Fashion is not her priority. She knows enough to do good for her figure, but otherwise can’t really be bothered. Flannels and jeans in varying heights and a snappy tshirt are all she needs. But she is drawn to things that remind her at least of superheroes or superpowers. Her ridiculous high tops with the spiky tongue? She thinks it makes her look fast. She’s also the one who’s going to embarrass Marinette by wearing trendy but “garbage” fashion: fanny packs, Jellies, ugs with sweatpants. Dammit Alya, you’re a beautiful human being, do you mind NOT dressing like a hobo on vacation?! (Secretly her favorite outfits are from Martinique, but she saves them for special occasions).

Nino -[C/P]- Precious trash goblin. Wash your shirts and the neckline won’t be so worn out! He likes graphic tees with his favorite bands and DJs logos on them (he’s partial to ones without the name of the band or DJ so he can find other fans) and prefers things to be loose. He’s also drawn to colors and he’s super chill when his “garbage” girlfriend rolls up to a date looking like she’s going to an amusement part with her four kids, because it means she can’t dump on him for not looking “put together” (she would never!). He’ll try to dress up every now and then for a fancier date or when Adrien manages to snag him a spot at an event with him, but it’s pretty clear he’s uncomfortable without his hat and headphones. He has a few Moroccan outfits that he brings out in the Summer.

Chloe - Expensive Fashion Forward Chic. She made a staple out of shaming anyone else who dared to wear her favorite color yellow over the years. She was extremely smug about being the first in her grade to experiment with makeup that she never bothered to get good at it. Her clothes are expensive with just a smidge of impractical - only someone with cash to burn would constantly wear white pants! She’s also the kind of person to put off dressing for the cold as long as she can- if she puts on all these jackets and layers, how will these peasants see my brand name clothes underneath?! A lot of her fashion decisions are based on long forgotten advice from her mother - gold over silver jewelry, always have something on your head, brand or nothing. She’ll only abandon a well worn trend if her mother directly contradicts it.

Sabrina - Nerdy, geeky, almost like she’s wearing a uniform. She’s preparing to be Chloe’s assistant best friend for life so she has to look the part. She’s long abandoned any hope of shining next to Chloe, so being flashy and showy is out of the question. Luckily, Chloe isn’t drawn to patterns, so that’s a field of fashion that Sabrina can claim for her own. Doesn’t matter where it is, something she’s wearing needs to have a pattern. Leggings are her favorite accessory and she’s taken to collecting Chat Noir merch (though it’s less out of admiration for the hero himself and more for her “role” with Chloe. It reminds her of the rare times when Chloe acts like they’re friends.)

Mylene - Bohemian, and a touch artsy. Peace is important to her and her vibe reflects that. She’s not super up for showing a lot of skin, but neither are a lot of girls in her class. She leans towards a muted color palette so that her hair doesn’t clash, though she usually tries to match one piece of clothing to some color in her hair. Her accessories are a bit childish and kitchy, like her monster head bead, and she has a huge collection of hair accessories, like bandannas and headbands. She has a lot of different passions with various levels of seriousness, so she’ll come to Marinette for advice on how to use her wardrobe to fit the level of professionalism she wants.

Alix - Sporty but on the lazier side. Fashion is such an anti priority. She’s the one Marinette will go to for her more out there ideas because she has no recoil to pants made of buckles or shapeless over shirts, but that’s as far as it goes. Her clothes are made to be weather resistant and easy to slip on (and so that her dad won’t be pissed if she wipes out and rips something). If it were up to her, she’d just shop out of thrift stores and pick out all the color blocked 80s windbreakers, but when your whole squad is held together by a fashion designer, you can only get away with so much. Her nicest clothes are made by Marinette for her professional races and competitions and her favorites have nods to Egypt mythology and history.

Ivan - Punk but like…beginners guide to punk. Let’s be honest, when you’re built like a brick house, shopping is hard - or at least not that much fun. Ditto when you’re a dude that just…doesn’t particularly care. Ivan has a bunch of cargo pants because they fit, they’re grungy, and they’re practical. SO MANY POCKETS!!! Beyond that, like Nino, he prefers to wear band shirts of his favorite groups. His hiking boots are the nicest things he owns and he has a few bracelets that he only brings out when he’s “dressing up”. The most colorful thing he owns is a hoodie/pants set from the Cartoon Monster Show that Mylene’s hair bead is modeled after.

Kim - Sporty and Serious. Sweatpants and running shoes. That’s the make of his wardrobe. After all, you need to be able to challenge anyone to a race at ANY TIME!! Dressing up for him means putting on a pair of jeans, and he’s pretty much always under dressed but also completely oblivious to the fact. Red is his favorite color and he’s partial to that one brand of sports wear that’s on his hoodie-shirt and sweatband. If something is waterproof (and therefore, sweatproof) he’ll give it a try AS LONG AS IT’S REEEEED!!!

Max - Geek Fashion. Max dresses like he’s already 65 years old, and with his best friend being Kim? He might be. He has invested in some good walking shoes because when your bestie is running off at any and every moment, you gotta do SOMETHING to keep up. His pants are higher up than most guys and his shirts are always tucked in. He prefers sweaters over sweatshirts and cardigans to jackets. We are comfortable in this house, not trendy!

Juleka - Electro Goth. Black is the main attraction, but she likes that punch of something neon - purple, green, even blue (Rose can tell she’s feeling romantic when she puts on some pink). She’s tall and likes clothes that accentuate that and she’s a fan of the details - shoulder cuts, lace inserts, epaulets. And despite covering half her face, she’s really into makeup (and she’s way better than Chloe). Does she have colored contacts? She’ll never tell.

Rose - Decora Kei is probably the best shortcut to describing her look, followed by Kawaii Fashion. Doesn’t matter if she burns to look at, she IS the embodiment of soft and cute! Obviously pink is her favorite color, bu she also likes pairing it with some other bright colors. Rainbows. Are. EVERYTHING. And she’s a sucker for bunnies and strawberries and angel wings ^^! How else is she supposed to have an amazing day if she’s not decked out in sunshine?!

Nathaniel - Basic but like Colorful Basic. He definitely hopped the skinny jeans phase and will continue to do so until he finally grows a bit. He holds onto clothes pretty long because there’s only so many times you can buy new shirts after getting paint and charcoal on them before you just stop caring. He aims for durability instead of fashionable, but also collects clothes with the logo from the show he likes. (And no one knows about his secret Ladybug merch collection that he only wears around his house).

Lila - Gyaru was the search term I used. She’s one of the few with a not super saturated color palette, sticking to dark neutrals. She’s drawn to patterns, like polka dots and zebra prints, and tries to balance it with neutral colors. Plus anything that makes her seem “exotic” and foreign and more interesting, she’ll wear (as long as it’s stylish enough for her.) She cleverly toes the line between fashionable and trashy, showing just enough skin or using a just flashy enough pattern. Every piece she wears she’s crafted a whole story around how she got it, like her bracelets being a gift from street kids in Belize or her earrings being a prize she won when impressing an East Asian Prince. 

[kirakirarin11]

｡:ﾟ ‘✩､ 𝓋𝒾𝒹𝑒𝑜 𝑔𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒻𝒻 🐻🍡☁ 彡

𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒊 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒊 𝒗... ♡

🍓 chocola reviews shin megami demons! vol. 001

❄ 𝒋𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒕 ⛄

hello angels!! i'm chocola and i know absolutely nothing about shin megami tensei, but after seeing the trailer of the new upcoming game i immediately fell in love with it and placed my pre order 💝 let's get to know the demons of the shin megami world together! today we are reviewing a very popular demon, the very mascot of atlus... jack frost! take a look at him here! eng sub.

« a spirit made of frost, it appears during the winter and melts away in spring. while cute, it has a horrifying nature. it expels frigid air that freezes everyone near it, while laughing all the while. »

hee—ho! here comes a good frostie boi, ho! 💝

♡ 𝒎𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒚: english and european myth of jack frost. he's the personification of frost, ice, snow, winter and freezing cold, and is depicted as a mischievous sprite who is responsible for leaving those frosty, fern-like patterns on windows on cold winter mornings, nipping the fingers, nose and toes in such weather, and coloring the autumnal foliage red, yellow, brown and orange. (thanks a lot wikipedia for wording these sentences in a better way than i could have!).

buncha hee—hos, chilling in the background. 🍓

♡ 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏: being a winter fairy, he is depicted as a little spirit with a body made of white snow adorned by matching blue accessories. he looks adorable. look at his tiny fangs and his blue elf hat (●´ω｀●)ゞ♪ ... even his voice is the cutest thing! i could listen to him saying: " こんごとも、ヨロシクホー！" (« from now on, please take good care of me—oh! ») all day... he is baby, and i would one hundred percent adopt him, protect him and talk about him with friends.

♡ 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚: in myths and fairytales, jack frost was already depicted as a mischievous, troublemaker being who loves to have fun and play pranks on others; but shin megami tensei takes it one step further, adding a twisted and eerie side to his personality. generally, he acts like a friendly child who likes to say "hee—ho!" often, but... despite his cutesy and innocent appearance, he is not only said to ruthlessly freeze to death those who irritate him, but also to use said adorable looks to lure people in and freeze them solid.

think, think, think! he's probably thinking about freezing you to death. no, really, i think that's literally it. (´；ω；｀)

« originally, he looked like an abominable snowman, but perhaps he changed form to more efficiently freeze people. », says the shin megami tensei: strange journey demon compendium...

brr (´•̥﹏•̥`)

that said, jack frost is iconic and a meme lord. he has plenty of infamous quotes, some a little more twisted like « i'm going to kill you. why? ...eh, no reason! life, hee... life, ho... hee ho is not fair! », or « if you are such hot shit, then crush this rock with your bare hands! » (see the full "best of jack frost mood board" here), and others more "innocent" like « hee to the ho and we gotta go...». iconic.

with his new attack "jack bufula", frostie damages his enemies by dropping huge ice sculptures of himself on them. image being this iconic. 💝

♡ 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔: as a wise youtube commenter once said, « jack frost is baby. but he is also a psychopath. » i am absolutely in love with him, and he is one of the demons that i'm going to have in my party for sure! 10/10, would recommend. his inclination to violence scares me a little bit, but i have hope that i can show him a new way and make him a better demon. my headcanon is that i convince him to stick around and behave by making a promise to take him to a frozen yogurt place and buy him some yogurt with rainbow sprinkles after everything is over. intrigued by the mysterious "sweet cold ice cream substance" , he accepts the offer, and having a taste of the cold delicacy becomes his new reason for living.

jack frost, ready to attack—oh and eat some frozen yogurt, oh!(*･ω･ﾉﾉﾞ☆ﾟﾟ💗🍦🍓

[rubiesintherough]

​ @emeraude-nobrega

LONG AND RAMBLEY FIREBIRB FACTS INVOLVING HISTORY AND PEOPLE CONNECTING HIM TO DARK MAGIC AND THE DEVIL BC IM A HISTORY NERD  AKA, THE ACCOUNT OF AEDUS BEING ENTIRELY DONE WITH HUMANS AND THEIR SILLY SUPERSTITIONS AND REACTIONS TO THEM:

Aedus was absolutely, repeatedly  accused of being the devil, himself, during the Middle Ages all the way up through to the American Civil War… which tends to happen when you have unusually colored eyes, a charming demeanor… and the habit of catching on fire. During the European witch hunts, he was even accused of being a warlock, having sold his soul. So, they tried burning him at the stake. That worked about as well as you’d expect. He didn’t want to harm anyone, as many of those in the crowd were innocent women and children caught up in this hysteria, so Aedus    ( then, going by the name Aurav )   simply waited until the flames burned through the ropes, freeing him, and he casually strolled away from the terrified and screaming onlookers. Stark naked. And positively miffed that they’d burned one of his favorite shirts.

And that wasn’t the only time. Throughout his years of traveling, Aedus has found that most mortals generally don’t take very well to seeing a man who can ignite himself at will… or who’s most GRIEVOUS wounds heal in a matter of days. During the reign of Bloody Mary, he was, again, burned at the stake. This time, not because he was believed to be a witch, but because he was branded a heretic, spreading wild stories about a history that didn’t align with the current church’s beliefs. That, also, went about as well as you’d expect. Again, he walked away, bemoaning the loss of his clothes and terrifying everyone who attended the execution.

On the other end, people attempted to drown him for witchcraft in Salem. Aedus made the mistake of stopping there just toward the tail end of the trials. Already, the townsfolk were in a panic and treated him with suspicion when he arrived. And, then, some man he got into an argument with accused Aedus of CURSING him and the Phoenix was dragged into the courtroom. Four other people he’d never even laid eyes on testified against him, claiming he’d come to them in dreams and used magic to make them behave strangely. Aedus, of course, denied it. So, he was dragged to the river, bound to rocks, and thrown in to either prove or dismiss their accusations. Well, since he doesn’t need to breathe, the Phoenix remained under there far longer than anyone could hold their breath — almost an hour, before he was dragged back up. Still alive. Of course, this didn’t go over well with the Puritans. Even less so when Aedus had, understandably, had  ENOUGH  and ignited every inch of skin, MELTING the ropes and evaporating every drop of water off of him. The heat got so bad, those who hadn’t already retreated screaming prayers were forced to. They called him the devil. And Aedus, essentially, had to go into hiding for a few years as word of him spread past Salem. But, the story did die out fairly quickly after the trails ended and the town magistrate tried to brush everything under the rug, so to speak.

Throughout his time with Samuel during the Revolutionary War, Aedus did try very hard to hide what he was from the population. It worked, up until Samuel’s death during a particularly brutal battle… then, the Phoenix sought out the man who’d fired that killing shot and burned him to ASH. That  unnatural death  frightened the community, who claimed it was magic. They weren’t entirely wrong.

With the passing of the Land Act in 1804, Aedus moved  West  with a SMALL caravan ( only three wagons ), hoping to find solace after Samuel’s death. Halfway through the journey, a terrible winter storm struck. The wagons sought shelter in a grove of trees along the trail, but that wasn’t enough to keep the cold from taking its toll. Hypothermia, frostbite…. The oxen were in danger of dying, winds whipping through reaching a chill FAR below freezing… so the Phoenix made the decision to reveal what he was. To one of his friends, first, a young woman. She was scared, of course, Confused. But, she understood that he could save them and get them safely through this weather to Oregon. She’s the one who broke the news to the others, and, even though many of them were extremely frightened of him, in their desperation, they accepted his help. He kept them warm. Helped them cook their food. Offered light in the way of flames sprouting from his fingertips whenever needed to help conserve their supply of candles… being unaffected by the cold, himself, he offered all of his clothing to the others, save enough to preserve modesty, for them to layer. He went out hunting and gathering food. For two weeks, he kept them alive, warm, fed, and safe… everyone revered him as something of a guardian angel. Less of the MONSTER  they’d first thought when they’d found out, and more of a miracle from God. They reached their new home, all of them swearing to keep his secret safe as they set up their new lives.

so since aedus is active right now, too, i would like to take this moment to say… if your muse ever needs a place to stay, or someone to look out for them, especially if they’re a lost or scared kid, throw them at this soft-hearted, ancient firebird.   he will 10000% make sure they have food in their belly, a warm and safe place to sleep, will have their back and protect them.   just aedus, y’all.  he’ll open his home to anyone who needs it.  he’ll make them tea or hot cocoa, give them freshly tumbled blankets so they’re warm and cozy.    listen, the amount of kids he’s essential;ly adopted, helped raise, looked out for, cheered for, over the centuries??   i mean for someone who’s scared of being a dad bc of PHOENIX FAMILY DRAMA ™, he sure as hell has that powerful paternal instinct.  will 1000/10  adopt your muse    all you gotta do is throw ‘em his way and he will take them right under his fiery wing    

ME:  considering how much losing people he loves screws him up, could it be another few centuries and this phoenix could possibly snap and grow colder, and begin to distance himself from humanity, just to spare himself from that pain?? ALSO ME: he’s legitimately too soft-hearted and too attached for them for that, so despite the pain, he will continue to integrate himself into humanity and continue to watch those he loves fade and die, mourning them, subjecting himself to that pain willingly… because the alternative is isolation and he already tried that once after samuel died and he wound up on a wagon train west, making new friends, watching them pass, and new friends out on the coast… and watching them fade, too, before he finally moved back. Because even when he actively tries to distance himself he physically can’t, ‘cause he needs that companionship. and not only that, but he recognizes that being around humanity keeps him grounded and helps him be better, improving himself as they improve… and without them, he would truly be lost and stagnant

also, some of aedus’s physical traits, because appearance and tactile senses do play a big part in interactions. especially first meetings ( i.e. things i am totally okay with your muse noticing about him right from the get-go tbh )

GOLDEN EYES:  his irises look a LOT like fire… they’re a lighter gold at the top and darken to almost an ORANGE near the bottom. TEMPERATURE: his skin does feel incredibly warm to the touch, as though he’s constantly suffering from a high fever… this heat can even be felt simply radiating off of him when the fires inside of him flare hotter, such as when he’s angry or upset. ATTIRE:  Aedus is always impeccably dressed. Considering how rich he is from all the money he’s stored away throughout his life  ( a big chunk of it coming from selling items after they’ve become antiques and VERY valuable to collectors. Authentic coins from the Roman Empire, first edition books dating all the way back to the early 19th century, random household items from the homes he kept throughout the Middle Ages, clear up to the American Civil War )    he can definitely afford the BEST tailors his current place of residence has to offer. Not to mention, he does have quite a discerning taste when it comes to fashion. I mean, he worked hard making this body look just how he wanted it… of course he’s going to wear clothes that accentuate it. VOICE: his voice holds traces of accents from all over the world. It’s a little difficult to pinpoint just one… but, I’d say the more prominent ones, most simple to pick out, would be Irish and British. He has a very LOW voice. Keeps his tone very soft and steady for the most part.

random reminder that samuel’s watch is aedus’s most valued possession. it’s the one he usually keeps on his person  ( unless he’s planning on picking a fight with someone, in which case it sits securely in his bedside table’s drawer )    and it’s something he would risk his safety to get back if lost or stolen. it’s the very last shred of samuel that remains… the last physical reminder of the man he loved more than anything in this world, trusted more than anyone else, would readily have married if they’d been granted the chance. aedus will be extremely hesitant to let anyone else touch it, no matter who they are…

[tunehummed]

THE JONATHAN LARSON PROJECT. — 458 sentences from the 2019 album the jonathan larson project, conceived by jennifer ashley tepper! change pronouns as needed. trigger warning for mentions/discussion of abuse, sexism, homophobia, and oil spills.

GREENE STREET.

‛ i found the sun on a midwinter day. ’

‛ on a backstreet down in soho, there was snow on the ground. ’

‛ instinct told me to get out and search for a day. ’

‛ there goes a chic, chic baby on her way to a coup d’état. ’

‛ there goes a fella like me lookin’ for his day. ’

‛ there goes a boy in his mama’s arms. ’

‛ you can say what you can say. ’

‛ there goes a lover sittin’ and writin’ this song. ’

‛ i’m sittin’ on greene street! ’

‛ and i don’t mean money, honey. ’

‛ watchin’ the world waltz by. ’

‛ laughing the day away. ’

‛ there goes a man with a camera whose sunglasses shade his eyes. ’

‛ there goes a man who seems that he knows a star. ’

‛ there goes a tourist who’s scared to answer me. ’

‛ there goes a dancer too scared to answer me, an artist who winked as she passed by. ’

‛ an artist who winked as she passed by! ’

‛ all these people out in the street, too bad that no one wants to meet. ’

‛ too bad that no one wants to meet. ’

‛ everybody i see walks right by. ’

‛ would someone please look me in the eye? ’

ONE OF THESE DAYS.

‛ another failure, another flop. ’

‛ i should try another hobby, this has gotta stop. ’

‛ i feel like a tightrope walker without the wire. ’

‛ one more disaster, one more dud. ’

‛ it could be worse! at least this time no flood. ’

‛ at least this time no flood. ’

‛ at least this time no flood, though it’s the fourteenth time that i’ve almost caught on fire. ’

‛ though it’s the fourteenth time that i’ve almost caught on fire. ’

‛ maybe it’s luck! what is luck, how could this be luck? ’

‛ no one’s luck could be this bad! ’

‛ maybe it’s fate, maybe it’s time… ’

‛ one of these days i’ll find a way. ’

‛ i’ll make it to the top, leave ‘em all back in the dust. ’

‛ one of these days someone will say, ‘that boy will never stop!’ ’

‛ that day’s gonna be one of these days. ’

‛ don’t understand it, it isn’t fair. ’

‛ every time i try to prove myself results just aren’t there. ’

‛ i feel like a mountain climber without the peak. ’

‛ my sister laughs at me, says i’m odd. ’

‛ my mom and pop think i’m a punishment from god. ’

‛ i get looks from my neighbors that seem to say, ‘there goes that FREAK!’ ’

‛ sometimes i wish - no, i don’t - yes, i do, i wish! ’

‛ i wish that somehow i’d been born dumb. ’

‛ then i feel that something may change. ’

‛ i’ll rise above the throng. ’

‛ they’ll be amazed at who they see. ’

‛ one of these days someone will say, ‘i knew it all along.’ ’

‛ one of these days that’s what will be. ’

‛ god, can it happen today? ’

‛ maybe there’s been a mistake. ’

‛ let’s trade a failure for one minor miracle. ’

‛ i’m gonna be number one! ’

‛ i’m gonna be number one, at least in some one person’s eyes. ’

‛ one of these days someone will say, ‘you are my only one.’ ’

‛ i’m gonna fly, i’m gonna touch the sky. ’

‛ i’m gonna win, i’m gonna sin, i’m gonna never die. ’

‛ gonna glow, gonna flow, gonna click, gonna stick. ’

‛ gonna gain, reach, conquer, gonna make ‘em sick. ’

‛ gonna triumph, prevail, sail, razzle dazzle, glitter gleam. ’

‛ gonna see my face in every house on every screen. ’

‛ i’ll be the hero, i’ll change the world. ’

‛ and maybe in the end i’ll even get the girl! ’

‛ gotta believe it. ’

‛ i can see through the haze. ’

‛ a miracle’s in for a landing, gonna get here, gonna happen one of these days. ’

BREAK OUT THE BOOZE.

‛ the wolf’s at the door and i hear talk of war. ’

‛ somebody break out the booze. ’

‛ let’s grab some hooch. ’

‛ let’s get goopy and smooch. ’

‛ forget all this sob sister news. ’

‛ the world’s gettin’ lousy, so let’s go get drowsy. ’

‛ yes, right here and now-sy. ’

‛ let’s bow-wow these blues. ’

‛ the stars look poetic. the moon’s copacetic. ’

‛ crank up your jalopy and then we’ll get sloppy. ’

‛ we’ll call up our bookie and say to him: ‘cookie, lookie, we’ve nothing to lose.’ ’

‛ the times ain’t so jake, every bum’s on the take. ’

‛ got no cake, got no steak, just this ache in my shoes. ’

‛ the moon’s looking cheesy. your eyes say, ‘i’m easy.’ ’

‛ oh – it’s swell to be alive. ’

‛ oh – it’s the real mccoy! ’

‛ oh – give a yell, we’ll survive. ’

‛ waiter! who needs a mug? give me a bottle or a jug. ’

‛ the government’s awful, so let’s be unlawful. ’

‛ throw out the compass and let’s make a rumpus. ’

‛ this town’s getting screwy, so let’s go kablooey. ’

‛ it’s true if we get boo-hoo-y, we lose. ’

‛ let’s make it strange – hell! let’s get naked, angel. ’

OUT OF MY DREAMS.

‛ out of my dreams. ’

‛ out all night, kisses on the street. ’

‛ sidewalk, dance, september heat. ’

‛ stay in bed, love all day. ’

‛ fire, passion, every single way. ’

‛ go to work, mind on you. anticipating what we’re gonna do. ’

‛ nasty words on the telephone. ’

‛ alarm goes off, i’m in bed alone. ’

‛ you left my life. stay out of my dreams. ’

‛ thursday, friday, 3 am. ’

‛ buses, subways. us versus them. ’

‛ winter chill, skies look dark. ’

‛ monkey business in central park. ’

‛ coffee, cocoa, more whipped cream. ’

‛ vodka, brandy. was it just a dream? ’

‛ window shopping, christmas day. ’

‛ i wake up, all that was yesterday! ’

‛ try to stay busy. hard to stay afloat. ’

‛ will i be sunk by this lump in my throat? ’

‛ can’t think, can’t act, can’t find new roads. ’

‛ think i see you everywhere, my heart explodes. ’

‛ will i ever laugh? will i ever be the same? ’

‛ i’m tossing, i’m turning, i’m calling your name. ’

‛ maybe you’ll come back. that thought makes me weep. ’

‛ the only thing i do is i go back to sleep. ’

‛ stay out of my dreams. get out! ’

VALENTINE’S DAY.

‛ he was a greeting card candy cupid. ’

‛ there was a blizzard, it was twenty below. ’

‛ she was 15, clean, lonely and stupid, and as pure as the virgin snow. ’

‛ he pulled her in from the storm and the fire was warm. she didn’t have the nerve to say no. ’

‛ she didn’t have the nerve to say no. ’

‛ beat her till she’s black and blue and gray. ’

‛ draw a little heart. draw a little arrow. draw a little blood. ’

‛ v-v-v-valentine’s day. ’

‛ red wine, waterford crystal. chocolate kisses and lace. ’

‛ knives and chains and a pistol mounted on a wall, like scars on a face. ’

‛ he said he liked to play rough as he locked the handcuff. she knew it’d be tough to escape. ’

‛ she knew it’d be tough to escape. ’

‛ february winter in her heart. ’

‛ i said i’d show her normal love. she said, ‘too late to start.’ ’

‛ she said, ‘too late to start.’ ’

‛ now her fashion is basically leather. favorite color is basically red. ’

‛ and her passions change like the weather, as she dances from bed to bed to bed. ’

‛ and she feels like a fool, but she likes her men cruel. ’

‛ i doubt she’ll be cool till she’s dead. ’

WHITE MALE WORLD.

‛ bryant gumbel, decaf coffee, french vanilla ultra slim. ’

‛ pert shampoo with extra body, clinique, neutrogena. ’

‛ hey, madonna. ho, madonna, hey. ’

‛ stay-free, yeast-x, estee lauder. ’

‛ estee lauder, revlon, calvin klein’s obsession. ’

‛ advil, ultra-brite, no nonsense. ’

‛ diamonds are forever. ’

‛ it’s just another day. just another day. ’

‛ just another day in the white male world.  ’

‛ salad bar, no! candy bar. ’

‛ yes. candy bar, no! salad bar. ’

‛ diet coke, no! diet rite. ’

‛ cellulite or cancer? ’

‛ yes sir, no sir. ’

‛ holly hunter, melanie griffith, meryl streep. ’

‛ spandex, reeboks. ’

‛ taylor dayne, stairmaster, oprah winfrey. ’

‛ let’s cut down a jungle. ’

‛ let’s go start a war. ’

‛ let’s go rape a co-ed. ’

‛ what a lovely thing to do! ’

‛ let’s drink beer and bust some heads. ’

‛ let’s all vote for jesse helms. ’

‛ let’s string up a faggot and a black guy and a jew. ’

‛ evian water, black lace push-up, billiard table, dirty words. ’

‛ skinny blue jeans, skimpy t-shirt. ’

‛ husband hunting, binge & purge. ’

‛ open your mouth and open your legs and open your purse. now – where’s the trojan? ’

‛ now – where’s the trojan? ’

‛ wait! don’t stop! too late, he’s finished. ’

‛ what if men got pregnant? ’

LA DI DA RAP.

‛ we all should be drinkin’ to abraham lincoln and get stinkin’ drunk in his name. ’

‛ it’s a good thing he’s dead cause he’d cry his eyes red, hang his head if he saw this campaign. ’

‛ singing hey la di la di, hey la di da day. ’

‛ lincoln! here’s mud in your eye. ’

‛ are we past our prime? or is this the time to climb from the slime, make america great. ’

‛ are we so hollow that we blindly follow and swallow whatever they put on our plate? ’

‛ just sing no! ’

‛ to handlers, sound bytes, madison avenue, cynical hollywood, la di da pictures. ’

‛ tabloids, images, wrapped up facts in relation, slim control. ’

‛ la di da you drama la di da de da de la di da. ’

‛ pour some ales for old roger ailes and danny quayle’s his protégé. ’

‛ in ‘96 his looks, his tricks make tricky dick’s crime passe. ’

‛ i’ve had it up to here. ’

‛ here’s mud in your eye! ’

IRON MIKE.

‛ on a starry black night at the base of mount hogan, beyond horsetail creek and anderson bay. ’

‛ from the port of valdez sailed a ship, bound for long beach. ’

‛ over one million barrels of crude stowed away. ’

‛ to the left of the wheel in the bridge of the upper deck under the compass, was he. ’

‛ navigation computer, the captain and fisherman’s friend who could steer perfectly. ’

‛ they called him iron mike. ’

‛ in the dead of the night he steered the way through the darkness. ’

‛ iron mike didn’t see the red light on the reef. ’

‛ he’d been known to throw back one or two. ’

‛ yet no one thought twice when he set autopilot and retired below with the crew. ’

‛ from the two am stillness came the cry of the third mate. ’

‛ someone better go wake up the chief! ’

‛ yet by then it was too late. ’

‛ the starboard tanks had 12 foot gashes cut out by bligh reef. ’

‛ the forget-me-nots cried and the salmon all died and the fisherman wore black armbands. ’

‛ and the spokesmen from exxon said, ‘no major damage,’ though six million gallons remain in the sands. ’

‛ and from rocky point down to mount freemantle, you can still see the black film on the soil. ’

‛ and the echoes rebound throughout prince william sound of half frozen animals, choking in oil. ’

‛ who’s at the helm of this ship of state? ’

‛ we’ve in for some rough navigation. ’

‛ we have the power – the hour is late. ’

‛ gotta get tough and clean up the nation. ’

‛ black rainbows of exxon lightgrade again flowed, like hot fudge in a big apple spill. ’

‛ the detection machine had malfunctioned quite often, repair procedure so hard to enforce. ’

‛ and down on prall’s island, the cleanup begins. ’

‛ and the horror continues till we chart our own course. ’

‛ it’s the dead of the night. ’

‛ we can steer a new way through the darkness. ’

‛ we must see the light for relief. ’

FIND THE KEY.

‛ she’s walking, he’s sitting. ’

‛ he plays a dark c-minor chord. ’

‛ it’s like the keyboard is his heart. ’

‛ he hears the clock, he hugs the cat. ’

‛ he hugs the cat… no. he kicks the cat. ’

‛ he pumps the volume higher. ’

‛ a fire’s just about to start. ’

‛ why can’t, why can’t i? ’

‛ why can’t i, why can’t i find the key? ’

‛ why can’t i find the key? ’

‛ door closes – he freezes. ’

‛ he sees it’s hard to end duets. ’

‛ he lets his fingers feel the way. ’

‛ he loves her, he’s lost her. ’

‛ he’s hearing melancholy strings that sing the things that he can’t say. ’

‛ he can’t imagine what he should have said. ’

‛ it’s all been said and sounds cliché. ’

‛ he’s at the bridge between his head which says, ‘it’s dead,’ and his heart which says, ‘don’t let her get away.’ ’

‛ she’s gone now. he’s singing. ’

‛ he’s singing. he hears no two part harmony. ’

‛ he hears no two part harmony. ’

‛ he looks around – this can’t be real. ’

‛ this can’t be real. ’

‛ depression, a dark progression. ’

‛ why can he only sing it? ’

‛ what will it take to make him feel? ’

‛ and then somehow it ends. ’

HOSING THE FURNITURE.

‛ hello my lucite coffee table. someone spill a little milk on you? ’

‛ tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. ’

‛ one – more – twist! that’s better now. ’

‛ silly little me, me, me, me, me, me, me! ’

‛ i’m singing in the living room. ’

‛ what’s the time? fifteen minutes. ’

‛ pour the bleach, put the finishing touches on the dinner. ’

‛ the dog – the dog – the dog. still outside. ’

‛ my nails! my god! a chip! ’

‛ tom likes wonder bread with turkey. ’

‛ tom was preoccupied last night. ’

‛ is it me? is it – ’

‛ do i have enough milk? ’

‛ oh stain stain, down the drain. ’

‛ i can see myself in the coffee table, pretty as i was on my wedding day. ’

‛ pretty as i was on my wedding day. ’

‛ i’m as pretty as the coffee table. we’re so pretty! ’

‛ we’re so pretty! ’

‛ ah! what? you scared me. ’

‛ who were you talking to? ’

‛ who? no one. ’

‛ what’s all this? ’

‛ why are you acting so weird? ’

‛ you know i’m hosing the furniture. ’

‛ and when i hose, i sing to myself. ’

‛ who do you think cleans up? some elf? ’

‛ no sweeping – no mops. in no time it’s wheeeeee! ’

‛ when i’m hosing the furniture i’m free. ’

‛ i’m free – i’m free! ’

‛ now run along and play – i’m concentrating. ’

‛ you know your father likes to come home to that ‘just decorated look’... ’

‛ raindrops are falling on my couch! ’

‛ what’s the time? thirty minutes! ’

‛ martinis, cut the flowers for the dinner. ’

‛ the dog – the dog – the dog. hasn’t been fed. ’

‛ my hair! my god! a gray hair! ’

‛ tom likes onion cocktails. ’

‛ tom nodded off again last night. ’

‛ i get treated like dirt! ’

‛ i can see myself in the drapery. ’

‛ am i pretty as i was on my wedding day? ’

‛ am i pretty as the drapery? are we pretty? ’

‛ are we pretty? ’

‛ don’t you care? ’

‛ do i look mad? my happiness grows! ’

‛ who needs dad when i’ve got the hose! ’

‛ this house is a reflection of me – modern, graceful, easy, simple – synthetic. ’

‛ modern, graceful, easy, simple – synthetic. ’

‛ in everything i see my reflection. ’

‛ do i really look so simply pathetic? ’

‛ what? pull the trigger! ’

‛ soon it’s gonna rain on the bookshelf. ’

‛ what’s the time? 120 minutes. ’

‛ dry turkey, look relaxed for the dinner. ’

‛ the dog – the dog – the dog. the dog died last year! ’

‛ my blouse! my god! a crumb! ’

‛ i can see myself in the television. ’

‛ i was pretty on my wedding day. ’

‛ i was pretty as a television. we were pretty. ’

‛ we were pretty. ’

‛ a minor flood never hurt anyone! ’

‛ sometimes i wish this hose were a gun. ’

‛ just joking – see, i’m laughing. ’

PURA VIDA

‛ we are the people. ’

‛ we are the people who float on the river. ’

‛ we run up to the hill, we run down to the water. ’

‛ birds laugh and the sun, she smiles. ’

‛ and the trees, they dance in the wind. ’

‛ we race against time. ’

‛ we race for pure life. ’

‛ we need the people. ’

‛ we need the people who live on the river. ’

‛ find a pace, find a speed. ’

‛ nowhere to stop in big water. ’

‛ fish fly and the rocks play games and the trees sing out in the wind. ’

‛ sing in harmony. ’

‛ can we endure this race? ’

‛ can this race endure? ’

‛ we need the people who live in the forest. ’

‛ ‘ust there be finish lines? ’

‛ can’t the world drum like the water? ’

‛ the rivers will dry, and the birds will die. ’

‛ and the ghosts of the trees will cry out in the wind. ’

THE TRUTH IS A LIE.

‛ the berlin wall wasn’t destroyed, it was dismantled brick by brick. ’

‛ it was dismantled brick by brick. ’

‛ it was dismantled brick by brick and reconstructed on capitol hill, on the congressional floor. ’

‛ the money spent on one stealth bomber couldn’t wipe out homelessness. ’

‛ george bush never said, ‘read my lips.’ ’

‛ the peace dividend didn’t pay for the war. ’

‛ don’t look out the window. don’t go to the mirror. don’t you know what you will see? ’

‛ don’t you know what you will see? ’

‛ martin luther king and the kennedys were fictional players in a mini-series, just like charles manson and princess grace. ’

‛ bensonhurst was a publicity stunt. ’

‛ aids is a myth, first amendment’s fake. ’

‛ the sun revolves around the earth and the holocaust never took place. ’

‛ the truth is a lie! ’

‛ love does not exist between consenting members of the same sex. ’

‛ two plus two is five. ’

‛ the human body is revolting. ’

‛ we always will thrive. ’

‛ children don’t learn to hate from their parents. they catch it like german measles. ’

‛ they catch it like german measles. ’

‛ the moon is cheese and everyone should own a gun. ’

‛ women ask to be black and blue and pregnant their entire lives. ’

‛ the earth is flat and the white man knows what’s best for everyone. ’

‛ don’t you know what you might see? ’

‛ don’t look at the picture. don’t go to the theater. don’t you know what you will see? ’

RHAPSODY.

‛ i turn a corner, see a rat in the rubble as i try with all my might to put it out of mind. ’

‛ as i try with all my might to put it out of mind. ’

‛ i step on some budweiser glass. a limousine drives by. ’

‛ a rich man turns a corner, sees a rat in the rubble. ’

‛ he raises his smile glass window and reads the wall street journal. ’

‛ sky’s not free. river’s not free. i’m not free. life’s not free. ’

‛ life’s not free in the city. ’

‛ i’m told i too must wear a tie or they’ll fire me from my boring nothing job. ’

‛ i guess a tie is the ornament of establishment. ’

‛ i guess a tie is the ornament of establishment, though it seems to me to be more of a leash than a bow. ’

‛ though it seems to me to be more of a leash than a bow. ’

‛ so many people hounded to the pound. ’

‛ so many people collared to the dollar. ’

‛ okay, freedom is a state of mind. i agree. ’

‛ but i need the elements to remind me why. ’

‛ but i need the elements to remind me why with all this steel and concrete and noise about money. ’

‛ with all this steel and concrete and noise about money. honey, you get tunnel vision. ’

‛ honey, you get tunnel vision. ’

‛ you forget that there’s earth below the subway and beyond the ‘scrapers, there’s sky. ’

‛ i plan a day in the country with you. ’

‛ having gotten home from work last night at 12:30 am. ’

‛ having fallen asleep last night at 3:30 am because i couldn’t shut down my mind. ’

‛ because i couldn’t shut down my mind. ’

‛ the city never sleeps. ’

‛ as the phone rang this morning, your sweet was calling, i looked at that clock. ’

‛ how i hate that damn clock. ’

‛ i excuse myself from our date. ’

‛ see, i had to be back by mid-afternoon. ’

‛ and i know these are lame excuses and i’m so damn sorry. ’

‛ i’m so damn sorry. ’

‛ i know it’s important, but i feel like i’ve gotten my priorities beaten out of me. ’

‛ but i feel like i’ve gotten my priorities beaten out of me. ’

‛ but i feel like i’ve gotten my priorities beaten out of me with a rolled-up new york times. ’

‛ and this leash keeps tanking on my tie. ’

‛ i love ‘rhapsody in blue’ too. it’s just that he was rich when he wrote it. ’

‛ it’s just that he was rich when he wrote it. ’

‛ and only the rats, the roaches, the rubble and the rich men are free in the city. ’

SOS.

‛ this may be my final message. ’

‛ this may be the final bow. ’

‛ i’m sure i don’t know what will happen. ’

‛ i’m sure i don’t know what will happen. does it matter anyhow? ’

‛ does it matter anyhow? ’

‛ i hear footsteps down the hall. ’

‛ don’t know how much they’ll allow. ’

‛ if you’re waiting for the last reel, i think the time is now. ’

‛ i think the time is now. ’

‛ sos, oh, savior! ’

‛ sos, oh, hero! ’

‛ sos, messiah! ’

‛ yes, oh yes, oh! ’

‛ sos, oh jesus! ’

‛ sos, oh buddhal! ’

‛ sos, emmanuel!  ’

‛ this may be my final hour. ’

‛ this may be the dying day. ’

‛ though they never taught me why in school, i think i’m learning how to pray. ’

‛ i think i’m learning how to pray. ’

‛ they are right outside the door. ’

‛ don’t know why they keep on stalling. ’

‛ i know you’ve heard this all before. ’

‛ i know you’ve heard this all before, but it’s the last time that i’m calling. ’

‛ but it’s the last time that i’m calling. ’

‛ sos, almighty! ’

‛ sos, oh yahwah! ’

‛ sos, oh mighty zeus! ’

‛ sos, oh allah! ’

‛ does anybody hear? ’

‛ does anybody hear? answer me now if you do. ’

‛ answer me now if you do. ’

‛ is anybody there? ’

‛ is anybody there? i need you. ’

‛ i need you. ’

‛ this may be the curtain call. ’

‛ does it matter anymore? ’

‛ i asked why. that’s why i say make a try. it’s only a play. ’

‛ that’s why i say make a try. ’

‛ it’s only a play. ’

LOVE HEALS.

‛ like a breath of midnight air. ’

‛ like a lighthouse, like a prayer. ’

‛ like a flicker and the flare the sky reveals. ’

‛ like a walk along the shore that you’ve walked a thousand times before. ’

‛ like the ocean roars, love heals. ’

‛ there are those who shield their heart. ’

‛ those who quit before they start. ’

‛ who’ve frozen up the part of them that feels. ’

‛ in the dark they’ve lost their sight, like a ship without a star in the night. ’

‛ but it’s alright. love heals. ’

‛ love heals when pain’s too much to bear. ’

‛ when you reach out your hand and only the wind is there. ’

‛ when life’s unfair, when things like us are not meant to be. love heals. ’

‛ when you feel so small like a grain of sand, like nothing at all. ’

‛ when you look out at the sea. that’s where love will be. ’

‛ that’s where love will be. ’

‛ that’s where you’ll find me. ’

‛ you’ll find me. ’

‛ so if you fear the storm ahead as you lie awake in bed. ’

‛ no one there to stroke your head and your mind reels. ’

‛ if your face is salty wet and you’re drowning in regret, just don’t forget. ’

‛ don’t forget. ’

‛ don’t forget love heals. ’

‛ love heals. ’

PIANO.

‛ when the world is a constant jumble and a wall or two decides to tumble. ’

‛ when i think i’m at the end of the line. ’

‛ when i think i’m at the end of the line, somehow i get to you in time. ’

‛ somehow i get to you in time. ’

‛ somehow i get through to you in time. ’

‛ oh piano, you saved my soul again. ’

‛ you saved my soul again. ’

‛ oh piano, you saved my soul, amen. ’

‛ you saved my soul, amen. ’

‛ i may not play like a concert man, but i got a song to sing. ’

‛ but i got a song to sing. ’

‛ i may not play like a concert man, but i got soul. ’

‛ but i got soul. ’

‛ piano, save my soul. ’

[rkmason]

    ▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟ CALLBACK STAGE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

after, he tries his best to live like nothing had happened, like the mgas weren’t starting soon, like he hadn’t gone to the audition, like he didn’t run into a few familiar faces, like he wasn’t asked a handful of times by people there and by even his friends and family why he went— he tries to act like everything is normal and okay, just fine, the way his father called him out on months ago. isn’t it just like him? live life one day at a time, no cares in the world, because if you live carefree, you don’t get hurt in the long run, right? right.

he’s choi minho. the son of one of the most successful architects in australia, of an international photographer. the brother of three successful siblings. there’s so much he could tie to his identity, to his name, but none of them feel like his anymore. they’re not as much a part of him as his constant denial.

no, instead what describes him best in the end is this: a broken record.

constant echoes of i’m alright and i’m doing good or it’s all good, the past is the past when he knows it’s not. when it came to his feelings, his own life, he could control it. pretending it was okay or all good was easier— managing his own feelings is normalized and he thinks of it as living the best way he can rather than a coping mechanism. this time, no, this time, it’s different and it weighs on his mind more than he realizes with each passing day. this time, he can’t stop thinking about the possibility that he could let down more people now. recognition can be a curse as much as it is a blessing.

the decision is as easy as that, to avoid thinking of it, of how he should’ve kept it more of a secret, of how maybe he shouldn’t have gone in the end no matter how he enjoyed it, no matter how much he wanted that message out— he decides nothing happened.

the scratching of the record sounds too much like the words i’m being selfish.

but his best friend is on the opposite side of the spectrum and, if you look closely, his smile is more of a grimace the more dabin goes on and on while they’re all shooting around.

he regales the details each time another one of their friends joins them. anytime a new person comes up, all before they can get their first shot in. the basketball is still bouncing against the pavement, an irregular rhythm once dabin starts talking about the school itself and all the people lined up. minho’s the one taking the shot instead and it bricks, a loud clunk against the backboard as it nearly gets stuck before falling off to the side, and he watches it for a few seconds.

there’s no rush forward, no energy surging to his feet as he moves towards it, no chuckle because he missed, because it’d been done with purpose— dabin doesn’t notice at first, too busy giving a preview of the special skill he showed off and he takes the chance to trail off to the side for a bit.

the pebbling of the ball feels weird to him all of a sudden— what it takes him a few moments to realize is that it’s not the texture that’s changed but that his hands are sweaty, there’s an odd airiness around his fingertips and he’s not used to this feeling, this gnawing feeling, thisanxious feeling. when he’s not moments from performing, he can’t exactly call it nerves again, now can he?

“hey.” he can tell who it is without looking.

meeting at the court along the han river is for more than one reason between their entire group. it was a central point, a neutral zone, enough space for them for them to beoverly excited for the game and close enough to chill by the river. what it meant now is that he could stay within a close enough distance to hear anything too chaotic going on with rest of them and still have enough space between them for him to zone out. but his thoughts don’t cooperate and they’re running by him faster than captain america in the winter soldier.

it only makes sense that seik sits down on his right side instead, because dabin is the one going at a hundred miles a minute. that’s how they are, he’s thought that multiple times over. dabin, minho, and seik. their natural paces are in that order from fastest to slowest and he’s the best at finding the common ground. so why does he feel so behind right now? why does he feel like he’s in limbo instead of finding his own pace again?

sounds fall on deaf ears as silence is the only thing between them.

“let’s skate.”

furrowing his brows, minho doesn’t know what to say when he processes what’s been said, but seik’s already walking towards the car where they’ve all left the decks because the ultimate decision earlier was to play.

the others seem too distracted by dabin and his non-stop story telling, his weaving of rhymes and rhythms, to notice how the both of them are leaving, more distance left in their wake as they start skating down the path. it’d been a while. minho spent more time on his bike these days than falling back to the good old habit of a little kick, push. the sun is starting to set by the time they stop, street lights starting to come on, and he’s surprised by how far they went, how long they’d been gone, how peaceful he felt sitting on the curb, just outside a convenience store, eating ice cream with seik next to him.

it wasn’t a secret that seik was the least enthusiastic about either minho or dabin auditioning. it wasn’t a secret that seik thought minho ought to leave it all behind. it wasn’t a secret that seik was angry about how his best friend danced in circles with this lifestyle, with these companies, until now. a chance to get away from it again and he’s gonna jump back in?

you’re a masochist, seik said before. an idiot, to put it nicely.

minho couldn’t hold any of it against him. to an extent, he was right. but he swears, he swears that this time, just one more time, everything’s different. and he’s also right, but for a reason he didn’t expect, for reasons he can’t stop or control on his own.

“wanna tell me why you’re not excited.”

he could deny it again, laugh and punch his friend’s shoulder with a loud what d’ya mean— but what does that get him anymore? maybe that’s why things fell through before. because, no matter what, in the end, he wasn’t honest enough, wasn’t earnest enough.

“i think i’m scared.”

—

checking his emails as the notifications come in is a habit he developed back in high school. the same goes for his text messages. days of running the stage crew taught him well, that he has to stay on constant alert and respond fast because that’s the difference between a beautiful curtain call and a tree fucking up the last few moments of a play. he almost misses it when he’s deleting the spam, eyes wide enough that they feel like they’re bulging out of his head, and he’s speechless yet again.

he really thought he wouldn’t be allowed on the show because of everything, because of what he did, what he’s done, because he’s already fucked up one too many times to get another chance. but there it is, a callback. the relief that overcomes him is startling and he’s laughing at himself when he sits down.

that moment with seik comes to him as he feels the pressure behind his eyes, how they actually water. hand against the front of his head, thumb massaging his temple, he’s wetting his lips, trying to piece everything together. this is actually happening.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀  PAUSE, REWIND ⭯

“wanna tell me why you’re not excited.”

he could deny it again, laugh and punch his friend’s shoulder with a loud what d’ya mean— but what does that get him anymore? maybe that’s why things fell through before. because, no matter what, in the end, he wasn’t honest enough, wasn’t earnest enough.

“i think i’m scared.”

what he didn’t think would happen is seik laughing. he feels a hand clapping his shoulder and when he turns to look at the older, the softened expression stuns him into silence first.

“it’s about damn time.”

seik eats his ice cream like he’s said something as banal as “the weather is nice today, isn’t it” as minho watches him expectantly because how the hell does someone say that and not explain?

“you act invincible sometimes.” his best friend murmurs. “back when you asked me to drive you to sphere after the last time… you acted like everything was okay. you’ve changed since then.” he chuckles, the disbelief on his face still clear but waning. “now i might believe you when you say you really want it this time.”

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ PRESS PLAY, BACK TO THE SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

the way his heart is racing, he realizes just how much he believes it too. this time, he feels more serious about it. this time, he knows he’s gotta play to win, not just for the stage.

his doubts come into play when he tries telling mijoo it’s not worth sending a cake to his place to celebrate. when she tells him to eat enough of it for the both of them, he can’t help laughing and saying she ought’a send another one then. his excitement slowly filters through and he leaves the worrying about his performance for another day. today, his decision is to be happy.

                  ●●●●●●      THE DAY COMES, MGA CALLBACK 6월 5일      ●●●●●●

another day, another decision: he likes this version of him that finishes songs he didn’t before. minho didn’t know how much he missed this part of him, how much he had hidden this side of him away, until lately. in the same way he unearths more of his feelings, lets them run rampant and develop more healthily than he had been, he recovers his old songs and this one is years old like the one he did for triple threat. in fact, this one is older. unfinished, unwritten, unraveling — that’s how he felt back then, like he was coming undone, falling apart, and he acted out, went back to who he was instead of progressing forward the way he wants to from now on, the way he’s still trying to. just one more step, just like giving it a simple kick, push.

this one goes back to the days before he started dating mijoo, to the days he avoided her because of one night. if he thinks hard enough, he can feel the sand underneath them, smell the fresh sea water, hear the pain in her voice when she turns him down. telling her it was okay, that they’re still friends, that she still lights a fire in him, he held it together the way he has been for years, as if it’s all he really knows. today, he lets it all out, lets the waves crash against the edge of the stage as he takes his place in the center after being called up. he doesn’t think of how baek jiyoung and hyun bin are in front of him. how he’s standing in front of all five again. he forgets it all, everything but this song because his timing means everything. the perfect storm.

���▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ I’M LONELY ♫ 00:15 to 02:13                                   NOTE: his gestures and expressions mirror that of kanto’s in the video !

he borrows an antique chest for this, for the versatility, because it’s no longer a stage he’s standing on, but his vision that has to come to life from his head to his toes. bowing deeply, he takes longer than he should, keeps his body bent longer than is comfortable, and he’s grinning when he lifts his head. “choi minho, #2020 coming back at ya a year early. gotta keep everyone on their toes, right?” he chuckles, trying to toe the precarious line between being arrogant and charming, but it’s a thin line and one he isn’t as proficient as he used to be with— that’s a good fact.

today, he feels more honest and it’s why he’s okay with presenting this song, withfinally putting it out there. “i’m gonna bring you with me on a journey i took a few years ago.” a journey he thinks everyone goes through at least once, of being surrounded by people but still feeling lonely. “since we’re gonna dive right into my personal life, i’m gonna make myself at home,” the grin on his lips widens as he tosses the trunk open, clothes spilling from the edges just the way he’d packed it and when he takes a few long strides away from it, it’stime.

I FEEL COMFORTABLE BEING ALONE IT’S ALL THE SAME WHOEVER I MEET BETTER IN ORANGE THAN RED RIGHT, I’VE BEEN ALONE, IT FEELS BETTER

who would’ve thought that years after ripping his shirt off in season 2, he’d be putting clothes on for its fifth season? he tosses a red shirt for an orange one, clothes shoved back into the trunk as he sits on it, hand clutching his chest— loneliness starts here, in the heart, with yourself. it festered for years inside of him, holding him captive, and his body feels lighter the more he raps.

WELCOME TO THE STAGE, CALL OUT, WHATEVER YOU DO I’LL GO UP, LIKE ON THE ROOFS, YEAH, ABOVE THE UNIVERSE WHEN MY FRIEND ASKS IF I’M OKAY, I LIE SAYING I’M FINE

I’M ACTING AS IF I’M STRONG, ACTUALLY I’M NOT WHERE WOULD YOU BE, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW I’M GOING CRAZY, NOT FEELING NORMAL

I START TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO’S TAKEN I DON’T LIKE ANY OF IT THE LOCATION OF THIS TABLE, AND EVERYTHING I’M NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE ELSE

[ tw : smoking ]

when he originally wrote it, stage was the club but he can’t say that— as honest as the song is about his feelings, as honest as he feels right now, only he knows what he did back then. only he knows how many he slept with to forget her, how he overlooked all of his moral codes because he let himself be caught in the storm. instead of poseidon, he was a measly sailor, useless against the rain and thunder. lungs ablaze, he let plumes of smoke cloud his vision the further he sank. the current claimed him as he danced mindlessly with anyone. that was the choi minho from high school, the so-called romeo who broke hearts without guilt. it took his own broken heart for the loneliness to take over again.

today, he takes that, any remnant of it inside of him, and he controls the ocean. the current belongs to him and though waves of sadness slip from his body, through the motions of his arms and legs, he’s not defeated, no matter how he falls back, sitting on the trunk again for the next part.

I CAME OUT TO CATCH MY BREATH A BURNING SATURDAY NIGHT I SIT ON THE BENCH FEELING SENTIMENTAL

it’s only a beat until he’s up on his feet again. his original choreography would’ve included more people, the waves would’ve had more impact but as long as he can command the stage, as long as he can stand on his own and stay strong, he can do it all. besides, like the lyrics say, he’s lonely right?

YEAH, IF I ACT OKAY (LONELY) EVEN IF I ACT STRONG (I’M SO LONELY) I’M GOING TO BE LIKE THIS UNTIL YOU SEE ME I ACT AS IF I’M OKAY, BUT I’M LONELY

WANT YOU BACK, WANT YOU BACK WANT YOU BACK, I’M LONELY WANT YOU BACK, WANT YOU BACK WANT YOU BACK, I’M LONELY BUT I’M LONELY

his father, seik, he wonders how many others wanted to call him out on acting like everything’s okay when it’s not. he wonders just how many people saw through him all along. to think he believed his act was rock solid. instead, the mask was made of sea foam, already washed away and he’s the only one fooled. not anymore.

even in convex he acted this way and maybe if he hadn’t, maybe if he’d been more careful, he wouldn’t be lonely on this stage right now. he’d be on a different one with them but he’d be damned if he wasn’t happy for them. a comeback and their first win? nothing keeps them down and so he wants to show he’s doing the same, that he can take what he learned from all of them and keep going. that they can all get through the storm.  

YEAH, I’VE BEEN ALONE FROM THE START DON’T WORRY, I’M REALLY OKAY AS EXPECTED, I’M BETTER WHEN I’M ALONE LIKE KEVIN, ME AGAINST THE WORLD IT DOESN’T SUIT ME FROM THE START

DON’T START AN ARGUMENT EVEN IF THERE IS A PICTURE ON YOUR LEFT ARM BUILDING BRICKS ON (MY) SHOULDERS AND WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO START A FIGHT EVEN IF I LOOK LIKE A LOSER, I CAN’T LET IT BE I MAKE A FUSS, ACTING AS IF I’M STRONG

the words he spoke that he didn’t know were lies at the time, he promises to be more honest this time around and it’s ironic that being honest but not honest enough is why he had to leave. even now, he doesn’t know how he’d answer if someone asked him who his girlfriend is, if he has one, and he thinks right now it’d be easy to joke around that he rapped and sang— even if it’s mostly backing vocals, ones he had to work on for hours to perfect, hours and days, until he was finally satisfied— that he’s lonely. do you think i’m dating right now? it’s not much of a lie then right? he is lonely. his girlfriend is an idol and he’s back to chasing her position again. this time, he thinks i better do it right.

the words pour out, emotion overflowing, dripping onto the stage, and when he calls himself trash he thinks of all he’d done, that summer he let himself sink, the months before he left nova that he stopped working as hard— not that he was giving it everything he had when he thinks about it now, the months after that he was lost, the months he spent after being put in convex that he spent being complacent, the way he let his relationship get revealed like that. he thinks of it all and how thank god he’s not letting himself fall to this depth again. he rides on top of the waves now, moving around the stage and making eye contact when he can, so they see the anguish, so they see how it disappears, so they see how he goes from drowning to blazing.

LIKE YOU SAID, I’VE BECOME TRASH I GET ANGRY FIRST BECAUSE I’M SCARED TO GET HURT I START SWEARING WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THE RIGHT THING (BECAUSE) I’M THROWN OFF GUARD

I WANT YOU TO HUG ME AGAIN I WALK AROUND POINTLESSLY BUT EVERYWHERE IS FULL OF YOUR SCENT WHERE ARE YOU

MY FRIEND CALLS ME, I TELL MY FRIEND NOT TO WORRY, HAVE FUN A BURNING SUNDAY DAWN I SIT ON THE BENCH FEELING SENTIMENTAL

and with that, he finishes the song sitting on the edge of the stage, the storm settling, ending. instead, he’s lit with his own fire. he borrowed light from mijoo for too long, this time it’s all on him.

of course, in true showboat fashion, he uses momentum to flip back onto the stage from where he’s sitting and it’s pure luck that he doesn’t just flail backwards. pure luck, he calls it even with his years of experience, because now that the music is off, the performance is over, and the stage is no longer his, he’s back to feeling just a little nervous, especially with the knowledge that a certain set of 5 pairs of eyes might still be on him. he’s shuffling over the trunk, picking it up, and rushing off stage with a quick salute. 

hey, maybe he should’ve offered to be a stage hand like the old days. 

PROFILE / SKILLS / ARRIVAL / 1ST SKILL / INTERVIEW / BONUS SKILL / 2ND SKILL ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ THE CALLBACK: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

[marvelmadam08]

A Winter’s Song

Chapter 4/?

Synopsis: Sky has to return to work, pretending she has no idea what's going on. With Bucky watching her from a distance.

Warnings: Sexual tension

Lying wasn't an issue for Sky, she's done it a few times even when she didn't want to. But pretending that she didn't witness a murder at her place of work was going to be a challenge.

"What if someone kills me before I can even set for in my dressing room?" Sky asks Natasha, Bucky had gone ahead to find a way in the club and stay hidden for majority of the day and evening

"Barnes won't let that happen."

"You know he was watching me sleep last night?"

"His methods are unconventional." Natasha turned onto the street leading up to the club

"Yeah but... He's done this before?" Sky feels her stomach twisting in knots, however she wasn't sure if it was in anticipation for Natasha's answer or because they were approaching the place where she witnessed a murder.

"He takes his assignments seriously."

"Of course." Sky nods watching Natasha drive pass the club "You missed the stop."

"Dropping you off in a car that your bosses have never seen before will raise suspicion." She pulled off to the side in front of a closed food market. "Remember act as if everything is normal. If anyone asks you any questions, you know nothing."

"Right." Sky nods again "And Barnes is already inside?"

"He'll have eyes on you, but you won't see him. If anything goes wrong he'll pull you out of there."

Sky felt her brain rattle from how much she was nodding and gave Natasha a thumbs up before getting out the car. Her legs were shaky same as her breathing, she could blame that in the declining weather; New York during autumn was anything but warm. Approaching the club, Sky greeted the two bouncers at the door, doing her best to sound as normal as possible. If it were possible the inside of the club seemed colder than the outside, people moved about normally, carrying in crates of liquor and food. The stage hands were testing out lights, making Lucy groan when they would shut off a light she needed while on the stage.

"Leave the house lights alone!" She shouted up at the tech booth

Sky stared at the stage, visualizing Leona's body dropping repeatedly in her mind, blood covering the curtains and the staining the wood flooring. Her throat got tight again, and her breathing came out in short pants.

"There's my girl." Kyle came up behind Sky and gave her a tight hug, she pulled away from him as quick as possible, not keeping eye contact with him "What's wrong? You look sick."

"Bad dream last night, didn't get enough sleep."

"Damn, what was it about?" Kyle brushed a strand of hair away from Sky's face

"Um... The usual- giant spiders, creepy clowns." Sky faked a shudder

"I know what the issue is, you're stressed. You've been working too hard, trust me I know. You should let me take you out."

"What?"

"To dinner, you know relax, explore the city. Maybe even take a trip to Niagara falls, I hear it's nice this time of year."

Nice enough to push me over the railing and watch me fall to my death? Sky bit her tongue, unknowingly looking around the room for Bucky.

"I don't know, maybe."

"Maybe?" Kyle grinned, taking a hold of Sky's hand "One step closer to yes."

Sky let out a shaky laugh watching him gently grasp her hand. He couldn't be a killer, right? Kyle was too nice, perhaps he just got caught up in whatever his brother and sister where dealing with. He did seem like the odd one out from time to time. Maybe, if given the opportunity to choose a side, he'd pick the good side.

"Have you heard from Leona?" Sky asks

"Leona? Yeah, she said she was sick."

"Sick?"

"Yeah, talked to her myself. Why?"

"She..." a gunshot echoed in Sky's ears, followed by shattering glass "Well I forgot the flowers you gave me. She said she'd bring them by on her way home."

"Did she?" Kyle cocked his head to the side, a slight darkness in his eyes took over "I guess she forgot."

"Yeah, I guess she did."

"Kyle, stop flirting with my dancers." Lucy scowled before pointing to Sky "On stage now, we need as much rehearsal time as possible."

"Coming."

Just before Sky could make it to the stage she caught a glimpse of something shiny in the rafters.

"Hey, let's go we don't have all day." Lucy steered Sky to the front of the lineup. Sky felt a shiver run through her body, not seeing one trace of blood in the stage. She didn't know whether to be happy or more frightened than she already was "We're starting with Daring Dames, cue the music."

Sky had to move through the number with her eyes half closed, if she didn't it kept feeling as if she was dancing on top of Leona's body in a way. From time to time she continued to catch the shiny light above the stage. Lucy eased up on the girls, letting them take a well deserved break. Sky raced to her dressing room the first chance she got, locking the door behind her. Another chill ran through her body when she looked at Leona's side of the room, everything was gone, her stage clothes, make-up, everything was cleared out. Walking over to the crooked vanity mirror, Sky straightened it up, Bucky stood behind her in the corner.

"Jesus Christ!" Sky gasped "Don't do that."

"What were you thinking? Asking about Agent Miller risks bringing more attention to yourself." He scowled

"I had to know if Kyle was involved." Sky turned to face him

"Boyfriend doesn't meet your expectation?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"So you agree to go on vacation with just anyone?" Bucky seethed, Sky raised an eyebrow and folded her arms across her chest

"Why do you care?"

"You’re my responsibility, if you get yourself killed because you want to get into your boss's pants-"

"I don't want to get into Kyle's pants. He wants to get into mine." Sky spoke a bit more proudly than she expected "But I don't sleep around, don't let my job description confuse you Barnes. It takes a lot more than money, a charming smile, or hypnotizing blue eyes to get me into bed."

Bucky paused for a moment, holding back a shit eating grin. He liked seeing Sky all wound up, not taking any shit from people, in fact seeing her talk back to Fury last night was a turn on for him, and having her challenge him now made him want to take her on every surface in the room.

"Brown."

"Excuse me?"

"Kyle's eyes are brown, not blue." Bucky couldn't hide his amusement any longer "Hypnotizing blue eyes?"

"You're missing my point."

"No I got it, step my game up."

"There's no game. I'm not gonna sleep with you."

"Technically there wouldn't be much sleeping."

Sky felt the corner of her mouth twitch and heat gather in her core. Damn her lack of a sex life and his blue eyes. A knock at the door pulled them away from their intense stare down with each other, Bucky moved to hide in the bathroom, while Sky went to open it. To her surprise Jason, the eldest of the Champion siblings, stood on the other side. Like Kyle, Jason was taller than most and had dark brown eyes, and tied with his brother when it came to the amount of women they had falling to their feet. Although Sky had a feeling that Jason wasn't interested in women. But Jason had a bigger build than Kyle, something he showed off by wearing tight button down shirts that he kept unbuttoned at the top.

"Jason, is something wrong?" Sky asked

"I wanted to talk to you about Leona." He cut to the chase "Mind if I come in?"

"It's your club, I don't see why not." Sky stood to the side to let him in, checking over her shoulder to see if Bucky was completely out of sight. Jason strolled over to Leona's side of the room, trailing a finger along the vanity, as if he expected to find dust where it shouldn't be.

"Leona quit last night." He spoke smoothly

"Quit? Kyle told me she was sick."

"Sick of the job, 'glorified stripping' she called it." Jason turned to Sky "Did she seem off to you last night? Or say anything that raised any red flags?"

"No, she didn't give me that impression." Sky could feel Bucky watching her again and it made her shift from foot to foot

"What about any of the other girls? Any strange behavior?"

"Well Jackie ate her weight in boneless wings last week. I thought she was vegan." Sky faked a chuckle, Jason smirked at the poor attempt of a joke

"Well if that's all, then I guess I'll leave you be. Let me know if you see or hear anything." Jason strolled back over to the door

"Not a problem boss." Sky followed him to the doorway, watching him make his way down the hall before shutting the door again.

She felt him behind her before she could turn around, but didn't know how close he was until she actually faced him. Bucky peered down at Sky, studying her features, she was flustered (obviously), a light pink appeared on her cheeks.

"You did great, kept calm, not bad for an amateur." He cool breath fanned across her skin

"It's my job to pretend, entertaining the idea of pleasure."

"I'm sure you could do more than that." Bucky's eyes traveled down her body before meeting her eyes again "Now, back to my hypnotizing blue eyes."

"If I didn't know any better," Sky stood on her toes, lightly brushing herself against his body "I'd think you were flirting with me, Agent Barnes."

Bucky's tongue trailed along his bottom lip, his eyes now dropping to Sky's lips. She smiled before slipping from around him.

"I have to get back to rehearsal, gotta keep up the act right?" Sky winked, rushing out of the room

Bucky let out an uneasy breath before adjusting his pants.

"She is good, a fucking professional."

Taglist: @pocmarvelworks @chook007 @impactshawol @resting-catface @the-surviving-revolutionist @divaanya @get-loki @purplekitten30 @1serpentbitch6 @perksofbeingabookworm @pass1on11 

[stagekiller]

@eloquentyrant || Meme || accepting ( 2/4 )

🃏  —AUTUMN DAYS ARE ESPECIALLY GLOOMY; though Gotham is notorious for its dreary weather all year round. Thick clouds deny a glimpse of sunlight but at least those first winter chills are a nice change to summer’s hot humidity. Jerome is especially pleased because sweat and face seams don’t mesh well. Even these speckles of sunlight, however, would be enough to hint to the time; it’s morning. Time to get the day STARTED. Or ended, if one has pulled an all-nighter.

    Should Mr. Oswald aim for his usual route past the kitchen and into his personal dining hall, his ears may pick up on muted snickers. Characteristic chuckling coming from the kitchen. And should curiosity lead his steps to the entrance, he would happen upon the following sight; Olga crouched over the kitchen sink, lavishing grapes in a water basin. They’re meant to accompany Oswald’s breakfast as a fresh, sweet & nutritious side. Speaking of sides, right beside his maid would stand a six foot tall ginger, whose face bares an eerie resemblance to a nearby PANCAKE stack.

   “  And so I said to him; ‘ Josh, I’ve known you for a good ten minutes now. How would’ya like to make a mindful investment ’. ” A small lean towards Olga’s plump arms has a few drops of Jerome’s morning coffee - or rather, melted coffee-scented sugar concoction - spill on the sink. It earns a grunt, but the housekeeper doesn’t offer much of a reaction. “ He says it’s been sometime since he ventured in the stock market or whatever, some typical crap you can expect from golden boys who never had to bargain for a mouth-or-ass kinda deal with Dingleberry the clown. ”

   Fortunately, his fast paced and oddly put English goes in one ear and out the other. Olga takes a short break from the grapes to retrieve some cupcake adorned kitchenware. Hint of a smirk is cut over his mouth slits with a soft snicker. “ Hardest bargain the guy had to drive must’a been getting his daddy to buy him a pony or somethin’ - tsk - I could get Mr. Oswald to buy me a whole damn carriage if I wanted to. ” He pauses to draw a sip. His words barely earned a nonchalant ‘da’ from Olga but Jerome grins smugly over the rim of his cup regardless. “ What? You don’t believe me ? I could! ” He insists, and somehow his gloat manages to come across as a jest from a spoiled child.

   “ Anyway - ” Cue noisy sipping and a satisfied sigh. Clearly Jerome is living his best life and that’s not so much the American coffee in his cup as the combination of freshly baked goods and the soft velvet robes he’s entitled himself to. “ ah... I tell him, if I can guess his credit card number right on first try, he’s gotta take my word for the stock market. Place his bets where I predict the stakes gon’ rise. He laughs, you know, the kind’a bubbly ‘hee -hee’ you’d expect to hear from his breed of dewdropper. ”

   At this point Olga has moved to embellishing the cupcakes, carefully adding her homemade frosting in one swift move at a time. It truly is a sight for sore eyes. Jerome stands dangerously close to the goods as he continues, earning himself a few Russian curses with each clumsy swing of his arm. It forces the maid to move the plate where it’s barely within his reach. “ Anyway, already knew his number from when he cashed out on his first round of shots, so, I tell him, he’s stunned. Asks me for the safety code, you know, those three letters on the back. I tell him. Guy’s losing his mind over this stupid trick, hee-hee! ” Raspy chuckling forced him to sneak another sip & soothe his scratchy throat.

   “ Once he got over it I told him to load his stocks into that proxy account Mr. Oswald and I set up a couple’a’ weeks back. Haven’t told him yet, so don’t ruin it. ” A finger wags in Olga’s direction, the empty admonishment falling flat. However, Jerome still giggles at his own joke. “ Aaaaand once we were out the place... ” That same hand points fingerguns in the maid’s direction. Olga has her back turned on him with no intention of turning around to witness them. A noisy click of the tongue later; he pretends to shoot her. “ Bang! Splattered his brains, stuffed them in his wallet and mailed them to the first contact in his phone. Boy, talk about a mindful investment eh!? ” He repeats, a peal of laughter spilling from his Glasgow grin as he gives Olga an elbow to the arm. It sprinkles a few more drops of coffee, this time on Jerome’s freckled hand.

    His other one attempts a sneaky dip in fresh frosting. But Olga’s watchful glare catches him in the act. A firm smack echoes in the kitchen. Jerome returns his hand with a shake and a hiss between clenched teeth. But his pout remains mirthful. It is only then that he notices the flash of raven hovering in the doorway. Pearly teeth abduct his lower lip into a grin as he offers a nod in the kingpin’s direction.

[aticklishtem]

The Bud of the Joke

((Request for @uniquemagicman ! Hope you like!! ^w^))

“Cagney, c’mon, open up.”

“No,” he answered, voice muffled by the petals stubbornly closed around his face. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”

He heard Hilda sigh, and he could just picture her rolling her eyes. “I’ve seen you. I saw you just this morning, and you look fine.”

“And I already told ya, I ain’t dragging my roots all the way over to the next isle just so folks can gawp like I’m the latest attraction in the freak show.” Hilda had been convinced that a trip to the carnival would lift Cagney’s spirits, but how could he face the prying eyes of the funfair crowds in the sorry state he was in? His usually magnificent crowning glory of petals was a ragged mess, his leaves were limp and lifeless, and the cold gave him the sniffles something awful. He hated winter.

“Stars above, you’re such a drama queen.” Cagney scoffed, because that was rich coming from someone who literally transformed into a raging bull when she got a bee in her bonnet, but Hilda continued: “But that’s not it. I got something here that just might buck you up.”

“Really?” Cagney somehow doubted that, but it piqued his interest, so he peeled back a single petal to squint suspiciously at her, perched on her cloud looking back at him all sincere with her big moon eyes. “What is it?”

“Come outta there and see for yourself.”

Cagney grumbled quietly to himself, but he unfurled his petals to bare his his face once again, shivering against the bitter chill in the air. Hilda smiled and nodded encouragingly, gesturing to the grass below her, and Cagney glanced down to be met with what had to be the tiniest top hat he’d ever seen.

“...That’s it? You got me a hat?” Cagney stared down at the offending item in equal parts dismay and disbelief – he knew that dame had her head in the clouds, but this was something else. “Hilda, I’m a flower, and that thing’s never gonna –“

“Surprise!” 

He almost jumped right out of the ground as the hat exploded in a shower of confetti, a blare of seemingly invisible noisemakers and a flash of red, white and blue that somersaulted into the air before landing in front of him, catching the hat and placing it back on a now very familiar, shiny, grinning head with a flourish.

“Cagney, my good bud – it’s been too long! How’s it growing? Did you miss me? Were ya surprised?!”

“Oh, hey, it’s Beppi! You sure...surprised me, alright.” Cagney managed a slightly dazed smile, the eternal questions of what, how, and why still spinning through his mind as Beppi clasped one of his leafy hands with both of his smaller ones and shook effusively. “To what do we owe this, uh, pleasure?”

“Well, y’see, a little Bergie might’ve told me…” Beppi winked unsubtly at Hilda, “that you’ve been a teensy bit under the weather lately.”

“Did they now?” Really, Cagney should’ve known. “Can’t imagine who’s been telling you that, but I’m fi–“

“He’s done nothing but mope around the forest being all cranky for weeks now ‘cause he thinks the cold makes him ugly,” Hilda cut in, oh so helpfully; Cagney shot her his most withering look, but she simply stuck her nose in the air. “Well, ya have!”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh – winter blues, classic.” Beppi nodded, humming thoughtfully to himself before clapping his hands together, dialling his smile back up to its usual megawatts. “Time to perk up those petals, my flowery friend, ‘cause laughter is the best medicine - and Doctor Beppi’s in the house to cure what ails ya! Or in the field, in this case.” He glanced around, taking a moment to admire the scenery. “So, this place is looking swell! Just look at all these lovely blooms. What’s your secret?”

Cagney shrugged. “I take care of ‘em. But it’s seen better days.” He always did pride himself on keeping his patch the neatest, brightest, most fragrant in the isle, but he hadn’t been able to protect his non-sentient flowers from yesterday’s snowfall, under which most of them were currently buried.

“Modesty? Who are you, and what have you done with Cagney Carnation?!” Beppi mock-gasped, pointing an accusing finger at him before continuing: “Seriously, though. The other day, I was actually thinking of planting a few flowers myself.”

“You don’t say?” Cagney cocked an eyebrow; somehow, he didn’t strike him as the green-fingered type. Red or blue-fingered, maybe.

“Sure! But then I got home, and I realised…” Beppi paused for effect, holding up his hands in a shrug as he delivered the punchline: “I hadn’t botany.”

Hilda collapsed dramatically on her cloud in a fit of loud, exaggerated cackles. Cagney considered telling her not to give up the day job, but unfortunately for him it was all the encouragement Beppi needed.

“You like that one? Maybe next time I’ll bring along my pal – he’s a mushroom. A real fungi.”

Cagney stifled a sigh, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Beppi…”

“Vegetable jokes too corny? Don’t worry, I’m just pollen your stem.”

“Beppi.” It came out sharper than Cagney intended, and he felt a prickle of guilt when Beppi visibly deflated – it wasn’t that he didn’t like the fella, but it was all fine and dandy for him. He didn’t have petals to preen, or even a hair on his air-filled head. “Look, I appreciate...whatever it is you’re doing here, but save it for the kiddies, okay? You don’t gotta worry about me – either of you. It’s just biology. Winter don’t agree with me, but there’s no sense in lettin’ me ruin your fun. Might as well run along and I’ll see ya in the spring.”

Beppi fell uncharacteristically – almost suspiciously – silent, his bicolour brows knitting together as he exchanged a look with Hilda Cagney couldn’t quite read.

“Okay, pal, I get it,” he said, still smiling but a little more subdued as he sidled closer and tentatively placed a hand on Cagney’s stem. “It’s a thorny issue, huh? But we can’t just leaf you here alone to wither away all winter. We’re your friends, and by golly, we’re gonna try our darnedest to pick you up, whatever it takes!”

He punctuated the pick with a light squeeze to Cagney’s stem, sending an unexpected tingly jolt through him that made him jump before he could help it. Cagney would’ve passed it off as the cold, but of course Beppi was onto him immediately, intrigue and delight flickering to life in his piercing gaze.

“Oh? Do I spy the seedling of a smile already?”

“No! I mean...yes?” Cagney hesitated, cursing himself internally for the brief display of weakness – even if he held back from reacting, he’d probably only be subjected to more terrible jokes. But that was proving more difficult with Beppi’s fingers still curled precariously around his stem, beginning to drum a gentle, teasing rhythm that was absolutely not helping the stupid grin twitching at the corners of his mouth. And judging from the way Beppi’s smile shifted from caring concern into something altogether more sinister, his situation was about to get a whole lot worse.

“Well, in that case, plenty more where that came from!” he declared cheerfully, and Cagney abruptly burst into scratchy guffaws as Beppi increased the tempo, fingers digging in and dancing up and down his stem - his thorns were usually enough to deter anyone foolish enough to think about tickling him, but they were utterly failing to protect him now. “Oooh, I got one! What did the bee say to the flower?”

“I don’t cahahahare!” Cagney squirmed and pushed at his arms in an attempt to shake him off, but Beppi clung onto him like a particularly persistent, tickly little bug. “Knock it ohohohoff!”

“‘Hey there, honey!’” Cagney tried to groan at the punchline, but it wasn’t nearly as effective melting into giggles when Beppi switched to tracing feathery circles around his thorns. “Boy, that one really hit the spot, huh? I know I got some real rib-ticklers, but this is ridiculous! Hmm – does a flower have ribs, I wonder?”

“That’s the wohohohorst…!” Being forced to laugh at that ‘joke’ only added insult to injury, as well as the embarrassing shriek Cagney let out when Beppi pinched at the sensitive spot under his leaves.

“Hihihihildahahaha!” he pleaded, twisting around to look desperately to his so-called friend as she reclined on her cloud, watching and smirking like Cagney’s suffering was just one big joke. “Li-ihihihittle help here?!”

“Oh, you need some help there, Cags?” Hilda batted her eyelashes innocently, flashing him a smile Cagney would’ve recognised as dangerous if he hadn’t been a little preoccupied trying to fend off the tickle-hungry harlequin still going to town on his stem. “Sure thing, I’d love to!” She drifted over and started scratching her nails lightly over the delicate undersides of his petals.

“Trahahahahaitor!” Cagney screeched, leafy limbs flailing wildly as he batted at her, but the sly little minx was too quick for him and this – this was just pure garden cruelty, feeling his face burning an unflattering shade of scarlet that he attempted to disguise by burying it in his petals.

“No way, mister – you’re not hiding away from me this time!” For such a petite little thing, Hilda was surprisingly strong, pushing Cagney’s petals back to leave him exposed while her other hand scribbled at the top of his stem. “Let the world admire these pretty, ticklish lil’ petals!”

“Couldn’t agree more, Bergie,” Beppi chirped, prodding along the leaves at the base of Cagney’s stem; he would’ve uprooted himself by now to get away, but he was too darn weak from laughter, helpless under the combined efforts of sixteen wicked fingers teasing and tormenting all his most vulnerable spots. “And would ya look at this big, strong stem – we got the cream of the crop right here, for sure! Hey, that reminds me: what kind of flower grows on your face?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Beppi!” Hilda trilled, like half of Inkwell’s most diabolical double act. “What kind of flower does grow on your face?”

“Tu-lips!”

“I swehehehehear I’m gonna –“ Cagney couldn’t even finish the threat as they pounced to blow simultaneous, deadly raspberries; Beppi’s loud and sloppy against his stem and Hilda’s light and fast and fluttery all over his petals, vibrating relentlessly from his crown all the way down to his roots. Cagney finally lost it, uncontrollable, incoherent cackles and snorts and pleas for mercy pouring out until his stem gave out just as Hilda planted her last loving raspberry to his top petal. Beppi only just managed to jump out of the way fast enough to avoid getting popped on Cagney’s thorns as he collapsed to the floor in a gangly, giggly heap.

“D-dihirty cheaters, the both of ya,” he grumbled, after recovering enough strength to stand again, but not quite enough to shake the wobbly grin that lingered along with a few remaining tingles as he folded his arms with a huff.

Hilda giggled and pinched his still-flushed cheek playfully. “Aww, Cags, you’re just as cute as a bug’s ear. Told ya I knew how to cheer him up.” She winked at Beppi, and the pair exchanged an irritatingly smug high-five.

“Always happy to lend a helping hand or two, Bergie.” Beppi tipped his hat and shot Cagney an equally cheeky smile. “And, I gotta say, I think tickled pink’s a good look on you, bud.”

This time, Cagney grinned back, baring his sharp teeth and fluttering his long, leafy fingers challengingly at him. “Go ahead, funny guy – make one more pun. I dare ya.”

Beppi opened his mouth, but then seemed to think better of it – probably the most sensible decision he’d ever made – and raised his hands in surrender, shuffling backwards with a nervous titter.

“Tempting, tempting – but actually, I’d better skedaddle. Might’ve left some balloon gators floating around and lemme tell ya, those guys get snappy. But you two’ll still come stop by my show later tonight, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Hilda said brightly. “Would we, Cags?”

Cagney made a noncommittal hmmm noise, thinking of all those people, but it was harder to hold out with two pairs of wide, hopeful puppy-dog eyes gazing at him. “Yeah, alright...maybe. If I’m not pruning my leaves tonight.”

He had to admit, when Hilda looped her arm in his with an affectionate squeeze and Beppi’s smile lit up his face with genuine gratitude, brighter than all the lights in his carnival, the idea of getting out of the forest didn’t seem quite as unappealing as it had done.

More importantly, though – Cagney still owed them both a heaping helping of revenge.

[purplesurveys]

674

Do you listen to music while you fill out surveys? I have moods where I can and moods where I can’t. But when I do listen to music while taking surveys, I can only ever listen to lo-fi tracks because they’re super chill and great as background sound. Right now is one of the times I have them on.

In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? I think I’ve mostly been stressed about updates on the virus, so I actually haven’t been listening to any music all week. This is the first time I’ve sat down and let myself listen to my go-to lo-fi playlist.

What was the last thing you shared with someone else? I shared some of my dinner with my dog, if that counts.

While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? Second, because I definitely don’t know how to play most video games all that well haha. I’d rather be the second player just cluelessly/aimlessly following around.

What is the most difficult word for you to pronounce? I cannot pronounce ‘bureaucracy’ for the life of me. ‘Mirror’ can also be a bitch but because i watch too much American media, my Filipino ass just goes right ahead and says it as ‘mirr.’

What did you have to do for the last homework you were assigned? The last homework I turned in before the lockdown happened was the weekly article I had to submit for my business reporting class. I gotta say, as a mostly introverted journalism student, I’m SO GLAD there’s been a way out of having to do interviews and produce articles haha. I see you looking out for me for once, universe.

You’ve planned a roadtrip. Where are you going, and who’s coming too? Tagaytay. It’s always a good destination for a chill roadtrip that’s not too far, doesn’t require a full tank of gas, and not too much of a hassle. I’m bringing my college clique with me – JM, Luisa, Jo, Aya, Kate, Kezhia, Blanch – and Gabie, too.

Do you have an overactive imagination? I have little to zero imagination. I mean I guess I like thinking of scenarios, but beyond that me and creativity just don’t mesh well at all.

What was the last important thing that you thought about? That five minutes ago it was time for me to put eye drops on my left eye once again. That eye been working well in the last few weeks, so I had it checked by an opthalmologist, who said there’s most likely a scar somewhere in my eyeball and proceeded to prescribe drops for me.

Generally, do you call people, or wait for them to call you? I would never call people first other than Gabie. Thankfully mostly everyone I know hates calls as well and would never call first, so no one ever calls me either.

On average, how many texts do you send out each day? On a normal day, maybe 50-100 texts? It’s my main mode of communication with my girlfriend, but it also depends on how busy we are during the day.

If a cop pulled you over for speeding, how would you respond? I don’t think speeding is a traffic violation here because 1) the congestion EVERYWHERE is horrible and the traffic is a crawl all day long, and 2) I’ve seen people drive like maniacs on expressways and they never get pulled over for it. On the hypothetical instance that I do get stopped for speeding, I’d obey and apologize for it, and just hope they aren’t rude as fuck.

Has anyone ever questioned your sanity? I have questioned it MANY, many times in the past, mostly when I was in my early teens and still battling with a lot of anger, depression, and a lot of other emotions like I’m guessing most teens do.

How many people do you depend on? As much as I’m not the closest with my parents I do depend on them for basically everything. For now.

How many people do you think depend on you? I dunno if there’s anyone that does. I rather they don’t - I’m pretty unstable.

What is the worst color combination? I’d imagine red and purple to look so jarring.

Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? I don’t think so.

When you get a papercut, how do you react? I thankfully haven’t gotten one in a while, but in the past I’ve usually never noticed the moment it happens, and I only ever find out when the pain hits like a few hours later. That said, I don’t really have a choice but to sigh and grit my teeth through the pain for the next few days.

Can you type without looking down at the keyboard? Yes. The only time I do is when I have to use the keys that aren’t letters, like |, }, and $.

At what age did you develop an interest in the opposite [or same] sex? Opposite sex: Probably literally never. I did attend soirees in high school and got invited to a senior ball – but these were only because I did what I thought a high school girl was supposed to do. I was never genuinely interested in boys. Same sex: I’d say Grade 6, when I had a feeling that I had a crush on Andi.

Are you or members of your family religious? It’s safe to say my entire family – both sides – is devoutly Catholic. They share Bible verses, go to Church, say a prayer before meals, all that crap. I am definitely not. I’ve seen so many people use the religion stuff to justify their being an asshole/hypocrite/both, so it was very for me to let all the bullshit facade go from a young age.

What is your opinion on religions other than your own? They’re valid, especially if it helps one become a better person. Don’t use it to strip others of their human rights, though.

What’s so scary about clowns, anyway? The make-up makes them humans that do not look like humans, and that has always been unsettling for us I think.

When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? I don’t really do this; I like wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Have you ever wished that something bad would happen to someone else? LMAO yep from time to time.

When was the last time that you cleaned your room? My room is generally clean. My mom likes keeping the entire house tidy, so I just help her out and do my part for her mild OCD.

How many hats do you own/wear? I have one sun hat but it was an impulse buy. I’ve never worn it out because IT’S JUST SO BIG AND FLOPPY and I hate wearing stuff that’s flamboyant enough to give me attention.

What was the last thing that you printed? The aforementioned business news article I had to submit.

Did the last song you listened to hold any special meaning? I love the song, it’s profound and beautifully written but it’s also a particularly sad one, and it’s not one of the songs I’d want to be attached to because that would just make me sad all the time. The song was Hayley Williams’ Leave It Alone.

Are you experiencing problems within a current relationship? No, not at all.

When you’re upset, who do you turn to? Depends on the problem. For most crises I’d turn to Gabie, but sometimes I’d talk to Angela, and sometimes I’d keep to myself. Does winter weather depress you? I’ve never experienced winter. I always say that I have a feeling I’d like it because I like being cold and hot chocolate and wearing socks and feeling fuzzy, but now that I think about it, given how miserable Christmas already makes me, I feel like winter may probably just be the worst thing ever for me.

Who was the last person that you called? Gab, just before she fell asleep a few hours ago.

What product was being advertised on the last commercial you saw? A website for online shopping. It played before a YouTube video.

Do you ever wonder who sings the catchy commercial jingles? I don’t care for them, tbh. When you think about your last relationship, what song comes to mind? I Forget Where We Were by Ben Howard reminds me of my first stint with Gab. Six years ago when we first got together, she introduced the song to me and was being emotional to me about it, and I remember feeling unsettled right off the bat with her sharing such a somber song. I never really got over that feeling and to this day I still listen to it only when I’m sad.

Are there any lyrics to describe your current crush/relationship? Maybe if I wanted to think about it, but I don’t care to right now. <– Same <- Also same. I hate survey questions that make me think of lyrics on the spot.

Who in your life makes you the most uncomfortable? [continued from like a day and a half ago, lmao] My mom has comments and criticisms for everyone and everything, so I always find myself getting anxious around her.

Do you ever receive comments on your weight? That’s literally the greeting of choice in Filipino culture. No one here ever says “hi!” they all just remark how fat or thin you got from the last time they saw you.

Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? There isn’t any one thing that I do. I’ve realized the people around me have different needs for them to be happy, so if I’m able to and if I’m mentally stable myself, I do those things for them.

When you need a temporary escape, what do you do? Open Tumblr and take a survey or two. If I don’t feel like it, I go on YouTube and watch Friends recaps.

What was the last lie that you believed in? If I believed in it I wouldn’t know it was a lie, if that makes sense.

How long did your last feelings of heartbreak last? I stopped actively mourning for Nacho (i.e. crying randomly while in school, listening daily to the playlist I curated to deal with his passing) around two months after he passed, but I would be lying if I said the heartbreak isn’t there anymore. I still think of him every day, and it makes me sad every day.

Is there any sport that you would want to learn to play? Volleyball would be cool to learn.

What band would you most like to meet? Paramore, obviously. Or One Direction, if they still count :((

Do you ever have difficulty opening pill-bottle caps? I mean I’ve never really had to, so I wouldn’t know if I’d find it hard.

Do you gain weight around the holidays? My metabolism’s always been pretty fast so even if I do eat a lot during the holidays, it’s barely noticeable. 

Are you related to anyone famous, or to any historical figure? I’m related to one of the Filipinas who sewed the first Philippine flag; to a historian whose works are now widely used in history courses; and the diplomat who represented the Philippines in the signing of the Treaty of Paris. As a kid I often thought my love for history was rather odd (because no other kid seemed to like it), but now I have a reason to think it has always run in my blood. Today I’m related to a political clan in my maternal grandfather’s home province, but I wouldn’t use ‘famous’ as the word for them.

If it was an option, would you take a trip into outer space? Oh yeah absolutely. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid.

What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? I practiced my high school’s penmanship, both because I really do practice it from time to time so I don’t end up being rusty, and because Andrew is dating Leigh, a friend from high school, in the weirdest crossover episode ever, and he is currently invested into learning our script hahaha.

Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? Sure.

Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? Yeah ugh I hate it, especially when I have to be photographed or posed all by myself.

How vivid are your memories? Very vivid. I have a number of memories from every age, most of which I can remember pretty much as clear as day, from where I was down to the conversations that took place.

What’s the earliest you’ve woken up in the past week? Like 7:30 AM.

How many people have you talked to today? I’m too lazy to count so I’ll just name them: my mom, dad, sister, Gabie, JM, Apple, Hannah, Rick, Reiven, Ed, Kate, Laurice, and Abby. I’m also in Messenger group chats for each class I’m part of this sem, and all day we’ve been talking about how we’ll move forward now that my school has suspended online classes as well, so long story short I’ve talked to a buuuunch of people.

What was the last reason behind why you went to the hospital? Haven’t been in one since I was admitted myself a decade ago for a low platelet count, which we nearly thought was dengue.

When journaling, are you honest when documenting your feelings? Yes, I get super honest in this blog because this is the only place where I can be that way, and that’s why I’m super hesitant to open this up to anyone.

If you have a journal, do you ever worry others might find it? Gab asks me about it every now and then and it innately makes me anxious haha. Outside of her, I don’t think anyone in my circle would ever check for surveys on Tumblr.

When you go camping, do you sleep in a tent or an RV? I’ve never camped before but I think an RV would be convenient.

What’s one ridiculous thing that you do? Before I eat fried chicken, I will always peel off the breading/skin first so I can save it for last. I don’t like the actual meat, so I’ll only eat some of it and give the rest to my dog. My mom has since called the chicken skin portion my ‘finale,’ so I eventually adopted the term as well haha.

Do you feel that you must wear make up to be attractive? No dude. I never wear makeup and I’ve always felt confident, looks-wise.

What was the last thing [other than the keyboard] that you touched? My phone, just now. 

Ever done anything dangerous while driving with someone else in the car? I’ve texted and taken calls whether I’m alone or driving with someone. If I’m running late I’ll also comb my hair with one hand. I’ve done sexual stuff while I was driving also hahahgdjshgfsf but there’s no need to get into that.

Name someone you wish you could be closer with? The newly-inducted members of our org, and the newest applicants as well! Everybody seems like cool people, and it sucks that the virus has prevented us from getting together.

Have you ever played the license plate game on long car-trips? Sure, but we also have other games to entertain us because car trip games can get boring pretty fast.

Are you a secretive person, or are you open with your thoughts? I have secrets but I’m very open about them if they happen to be raised. Like with me, all you have to do is ask haha.

What is the worst question that someone could ask you? Those dumb ones on surveys that ask if I’d rather kill my mom or best friend lol.

Do you talk to your pets? Every single time I see him.

Do you have a least favorite day of the year? Either Christmas or New Year’s Eve. The loneliness is something I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

What traits do you look for in a potential BF/GF? I’m demisexual, so I never really compiled a list of traits.

Would you date someone that had a different religion from you? Only if they didn’t let it get in the way of my atheism. You do you, but don’t drag me to your thanksgivings, rituals, holy texts, etc.

Right now, what’s in your bookbag/backpack? I honestly have no idea. I haven’t looked inside for so long HAHAHA

What’s unique about your city or town? We have an elevated part that we call ‘higher [city name]’ because it’s the part of the city that’s on a mountain and a base that we, understandably, call ‘lower [city name]’. I live in the lower area, which is busier and nearer to the metro. I don’t know of any other city in the Philippines where one half is situated higher and another lower.

If you could say something to the world, what would you say? Don’t panic, don’t hoard basic necessities, and don’t be fucking racist.

[gloieee]

So it Goes

I’ve been having really good days. But I’ve been discovering more of Mac Miller lately and he wrenches heartstrings in so many ways. I resonate with him so hard in certain aspects. It’s uncanny.

10.12.2019

So interesting that I was feeling this way 10.12. 2019 haha. I doubt it was that day, since I was floundering in my essay editing. But maybe it was--maybe I just thought Mac Miller was beautiful enough to take a day off from my “business” writing. I have a feeling it was 10.15. 2019 vaguely. Likely was still having some very good days then.

Life is always a roller coaster and I appreciate it, I suppose. I remember distinctly loving “So it Goes,” but not having a way to connect it to how I felt then. It’s ironic how I feel like this song matches up the most to how I feel now. Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut, literature, one of my first loves. So it goes. I resonate with this one so deeply right now that I think i’ll indulge myself and break it down step by step.

So it Goes- Mac Miller

You could have the world in the palm of your hand You still might drop it So it goes

I love how he highlights how precarious satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment can be. Although there’s a sadness to dropping something that was in the palm of your hand, it reminds me that every moment is precious. Every time you feel the world there, in your hand, it’s such a blessing. It’s a gentle perch rather than something to seize. The “so it goes” reminds me that that’s maybe how it’s supposed to be. It wasn’t a mistake on my end to drop it; maybe there never was a way I could have forced it to stay there—it’s just the way it goes. And even if I’m just completely self-justifying losing things, so it goes.

And everybody wanna reach inside your pockets I tell 'em "red light, stop it" Shit, that give me more headaches than alcoholics

Hm, I bring more flavor than all the seasons Winter, spring, summer, fall, the grass is always greener 'til I cut it all Please leave me to my studies, I give you no applause My hands been countin' money, and it's hard to be the boss But somebody gotta do it (it gets so exhausting) Often with the bullshit, but, baby, I been through it Enough for the both of us So come over later and we won't let no one close to us We could be posted up Yeah

So it goes It's like, in every conversation, we the topic This narcissism, more like narcotics So it goes

Everyone knows it’s a huge statement if I say something gives me more headaches than alcoholics. I do feel like some people are reaching inside my pockets, more often than I would like. I’m giving too much. It’s odd cause I always do say “red light, stop it,” yet there must be something about myself that makes it seem like a green light. The grass is always greener till I cut it all--this sounds so much like me that I can’t even. Maybe that’s why. Def don’t appreciate how it seems like I’m the one that’s going through the bullshit, more than one person’s share. But maybe it just is the narcissism that makes me think like this.

My eyes on the enterprise Nine lives, never die, fuck a heaven, I'm still gettin' high Never mind, did I mention I'm fine 'Cause her pussy gettin' wetter when the weather dry Clementine, peelin' off and everyone get left behind I'm only 5'7'' 'cept I'm feelin' like I'm 7'5"

No relaxing, kicking back, this ain't exactly in the plan I can't get no satisfaction, goddamn They sayin' I been gone too long I could just tell 'em fuck you, but that come on too strong My god, it go on and on Just like a circle, I go back to where I'm from

I love Mac Miller’s confidence (even when he’s down). I feel it too. Yet, despite all of that of course, it never goes as planned. It’s hard to be truly happy in your choices. I haven’t been good with choices this past year or so. Guess this past year, I had choices for the first time in a while. Oddly, even though I’m consciously trying to make intentional, balanced decisions, still my god, it does go on and on, just like a circle, I’m back to where I’m from. 

Been listening to some random songs on my spotify radio, alongside my main man Mac Miller, and it’s hilarious how serendipitous it is. Fell in Love with a Girl- The White Stripes followed by Over- Syd feat. 6lack. This kinda stuff makes me laugh out loud. The most impulsive love song ever, reflected in form by how fast-paced and short the song is. It’s perfect. 

Fell in love with a girl

I fell in love once and almost completely She's in love with the world But sometimes, these feelings can be so misleading "Come and kiss me by the riverside, yeah Bobby says it's fine, he don't consider it cheating, now. Can't keep away from the girl These two sides of my brain need to have a meeting Can't think of anything to do, yeah My left brain knows that all love is fleeting

It’s hilarious cause Bobby more often than not totally does think it’s cheating. I’ve loved this song since 2015 and it’s one of those songs that leaves such an impression each time I hear it. One of those forever bops. 

I’m realizing a lot of these random songs I was listening to without really looking at the lyrics were apt in some way. It’s almost as if Spotify now predicts my life, which is some black mirror shit right there. Some petty, fleeting tidbits:

Over- Syd feat. 6lack

Safe to say, I was right You was wrong, that's okay Why would you agree if you ain't build for the drama? I know when shit ain't right You can act if you wanna, girl I don't wanna say too much And I don't wanna make assumptions But lately I've been giving no fucks We don't know what we doing love How we gon' look for help when you don't know yourself?

(As an aside, realizing that 6lack is actually amazing. I thought he was just gonna be a temporary mainstream dude with “Ex Calling” and “PRBLMS” but East Atlanta Love Letter really makes me rethink him as an artist. He says it straight and I don’t even think he’s fronting, which is amazing.)

I did fluctuate between random moments of feeling all these things, albeit of course, very briefly and not as intensely as perhaps these lyrics denote. And yes they’re petty.  But it’s more a sentiment than an actual feeling:  

Loner- Kali Uchis

I just gotta put it out there And maybe it's not deliberate And I know you never asked me I don't want to be an option But if you don't want me now No, boy, I don't want you later Don't try to come and eat with me

Superficial Love- Ruth B.

You're really cute I must admit But I need something deeper than this Baby if you want me, then you better need me 'Cause I'm so done, not being your number one And if you wanna keep me then you better treat me Like a damn princess, make that an empress

This song is a subtle reminder of course that once I’m ready for something, I should be treated like an empress. We forget that sometimes.

I can feel you on my lips all the time But I just wanna feel you in my heart and on my mind

Actually so interesting cause this song is pointedly not how I feel in some ways. Makes me wonder whether what I want is superficial love. Which leads me to:

The Need to Know- Wale feat. Sza

Tryna keep it low Keep 'em on that need to know Tell everybody that we're just friends But to be honest that platonic shit's for TV shows

I'm not tryna pressure you Just can't stop thinkin' 'bout you You ain't even really gotta be my boyfriend I just wanna know your name And maybe some time, we can hook up We can hang out, we can just chill

Again, this song made me laugh today. A causal relationship maybe should be physical, yet here/there we are/ were. 

I know Fletcher means it more seriously and ironically (for good reason), but at the end of the day, despite all the bits of emotion I feel, in the best sense, it’s all love, in the most truly millennial diffusion-of-conflict way possible (All Love- Fletcher).  And to be honest, whatever this is (cause love is a grossly inappropriate word, just a good filler) is just a feeling (Love is Just a Feeling- Joey Badda$$). I was and am def more in the camp of Stwo and Jeremih, (Neither Do I- Stwo and Jeremih) and Drake currently to begin with, so it’s really all good in the end. 

The Motion- Drake

It's not me and you, it's not me it's you Say you're moving on, well, I guess that's just the motion I guess that's just the motion

Yeah, looking back on it, at least my pride is intact 'Cause we said "no strings attached" and I still got tied up in that Try being with somebody that wanna be somebody else I always thought she was perfect when she was being herself Don't even know how to help, but I guess that's just the motion, yeah She'll probably come around Soon as I settle down, that's the motion Oh-oh, I guess that's just the motion

Definitely have some doubts cause platonic shit’s for TV shows, but internally, I feel more settled. Having let it all out and explored all my petty fleeting roller coaster emotions these past few weeks, ultimately, I feel like it was actually a good learning experience, and a reminder of some things I value about myself. It’s a reminder to keep growing, to keep understanding myself, and to know my worth, which may have been a bit hazy these past few months on so many fronts. It’s hard in the moment, but if I look within myself, this is what I wanted and what I had been saying all along. It’s something I’ve never been able to fully execute before and really wanted to this time around, so I’m excited that that’s finally happening. And at least I do have some soft spots to look back on (If The World Was Ending- JP Saxe, Julia Michaels).

I’m excited to be more myself. So it goes, in the best way.

10.26.2019

[constelacionde-orion]

Every you Every Me (2/15)

Pairing : Tony!Father x Reader!Daughter x Steve x Avengers

Warnings: nightmares, swearing, blood(? Summary: You are Tony’s daughter, everything was normal until you recall your past in your nightmares.

A/N : Hey I kind of lost the name of the person that wanted to be tagged on this one, so please send it again... 😅

Word Count: 3201

Chapter 1  Chapter 2.1 (Pre.)  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9 Chapter 10  Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13  Chapter 14

You were looking at the woods in front of you, the snow flew with the wind, gently as soft when it touched your skin. For some reason you felt kind of uneasy, it wasn’t the weather, you liked it to be this way, snow falling from the sky, chill, all looking white, you really liked the sight infront of you, but there was one thing uncomfortable and you didn't know what it was. 

"Are you okay? Did you saw something?" T'challa asked you after he followed your eyes into the woods.

"Yeah, I'm fine I just don't feel comfortable here" you told him, turning your head to see him.

"It may be for the story Cap told us there" T'challa said like it was nothing.

And it really was nothing, you weren’t afraid of ghosts it was just the place, it was very mysterious, in all the time you had spent there, you hadn’t heard or see any kind of animals, no birds flying or singing, nothing running in the snow, it was really silent and that was something strange for you.

"It can be, but doesn’t it feel strange to you? there are not animals in here" you said once more looking at every pine tree. 

“Well, it’s winter, most of them may be sleeping, and it’s Finland, the place it’s freezing to death” T’Challa said, he placed a hand in your shoulder.

“And I wonder why Steve wanted us to land here, I mean, everything looks similar, there’s no sight of the factory” you told him

"Maybe their radars told them we were near, and by the way, you can turn on your comm's now" T'challa told you before looking up at the white sky.

"I'll never understand how you see every move I make" you told him with a chuckle, then you did what he told you.

"It's not that hard, we are friends after all" T'challa told you, and even if you couldn't see his face, you knew he was smiling, and you answered in the same way.

"Y/N! Did you really turned off your comm's?!, you all are acting like kids today!" you heard Steve's scolding in your ear.

"There's no need to scream Steve, I can hear you even if I don't want it" you told him with a chuckle.

"Anyway, how's everyone? report" Steve asked a little more relaxed.

"Well, I'm fine just with a headache I guess" you said.

"Everything's fine with me" T'challa answered.

"I'm fine, but Clint it's throwing up" Sam said.

T'challa and you turned around just to see a disgusting scene, and both of you turned your backs to Clint once again.

"Clint!, fuck turn your head to the other side! look at my boots now!" Sam said annoyed.

"No need to tell us all Sam, and by the way, We are fine here" Wanda said.

"Well we are okay here too, so we gotta find the sensors, Sam stay there until Clint's fine, report any kind of strange activity" Steve said.

"Sure Cap" Sam answered.

"And don't turn off your comms!" Steve said as a final order.

"Jeez, just relax, you’re really bossy. Anyway, what if T'challa and me look around for the factory?" you asked Sam  

"Y/N you heard Steve, and we have to go, together. " Sam said with a final tone.

"Yeah but, Clint it's throwing up all the past and this month, and T'challa and me can just look around" you said, still  not wanting to see Clint's scene.

"It could save us more time, maybe we can find some sensors, we are near the factory anyway" T'challa said.

"Y/N, all together, it's final" You heard Steve's voice and you knew he was annoyed.

"I really hate this things, you know?" you said to no one in particular.

"We can go, don't worry, I'm fine" you heard Clint's voice.

Finally both of you could turn around, Clint was paler than the snow and he didn't look any well.

"You sure you're okay?" you asked very concerned.

"Yeah, don't worry it was just...the landing" he told you trying to sound fine.

"Fine. We'll, lead the way Falcon" you said to Sam.

"I guess Redwing is going to do that work" Sam said with a smirk.

"Why didn't we do that in first place?!" Clint said, he sounded betrayed.

"Don't fight Clint, now, let's see what's ahead us" Sam said when Redwing flew into the woods.

Everything on the footage of Redwing seemed normal, snow and snow, trees and trees until it began to glitch, both, Redwing and the footage, first anyone said nothing, but then the screen went black for seconds.

"Okay, that was a big fail" Clint said when Redwing fell on the snow.

"This is no good" Sam said trying to make Redwing fly.

"Please, be more specific about that" You said, your eyes looking at Redwing on the video.

"Well, Redwing isn't answering to any command, nor even to turn off." Sam said.

"So... what now?" T'challa asked.

"I'll see the last position of Redwing, maybe it reached an sensor... okay this is so fucked up..." Sam said scanning into Redwing's data.

"I'm getting tired of that quote" you said really tired.

"What's wrong now?" Clint said tired of the situation too.

"The last position of Redwing, it's behind us" Sam said more confused.

"This is so damn stressful!" You said kicking some snow.

"In what kind of place are we?! for God sake!" Clint shouted in the air.

"Okay, let's ask the others their position, maybe they don't have this problems" T'challa said.

"Still, I don't get it, this place is nuts" Sam said, once more he was confused.

"I'll bring Redwing, just give me a second" you said to Sam, all you wanted was to go home.

"Fine, do that Magneto, T'Challa, ask Tony where are they, Clint talk with Natasha, I'll see if Red Wing reply the commands" Sam said before turning his attention back to Red Wing's data.

You tried to concentrate in your powers to locate Redwing but you couldn't find him with other voices talking in the comm's, so again you turned the damn thing off. You closed your eyes searching for it, but you didn't felt you powers coming to life, once again, you tried to bring some metal to your fingers, but nothing, then you tried to fly, and again nothing, you made a final try with Sam's wings, but nothing again.

"Sam" you asked a little scared.

"What?" Sam asked you, he was still focused on the virtual data.

"Sam, are my eyes white?" you asked turning towards Sam.

"Hmm? Why you-" he asked you in a normal tone, until he saw your eyes.

"Sam, are they white?!" you asked again, you begin to get scared with his lack of words.

"No" he said walking towards you.

"What?!" you said totally scared now.

"Okay Y/N, relax, once more, try to fly" he placed both of this hands on your shoulders.

"It's not working! Sam what the fuck it's happening!?" you shouted.

"What's happening?!" Clint and T'challa arrived next to you.

"My powers, they don't work" you said, your breathing started to be faster.

"Hey, hey, Y/N look at me, everything is fine, maybe it's because you are tired of this place, common, breathe with me" Sam told you, but you couldn't listen to him.

You heard Clint asking Wanda if she was in the same situation as you, but you didn't heard the answer.

"Turn her comm's on" T'challa said to Sam.

"You’re damn stubborn as your father" Sam told you after turning on your comm's

"Wanda's power doesn't work too, I’m afraid neither mine’s, Thor can you fly?" you heard Vision.

"What’s happening?!, nothing in here works?!" Natasha asked.

“I still can fly but not too high” Thor informed us all. 

“What are we going-” Sam began to talk before he paused, his looked at the radar on his arm when it started to make noises. 

“What is that?” Clint asked, now we were focused on Sam’s arm. 

“Shit!, everyone hold-” Sam shouted before some kind of force make everyone fly. 

The force that caused it was really strong it made everyone fly in different directions in the sky. You heard everyone screaming through the comms. For you luck, Tony made you a kind of wristband that records when you are in danger to activate your own Iron man suit. You were falling into the woods once again when this wristband started to protect your body from any kind of danger, still, you hitted many pine trees and then the snow. You were in process to stand up when the suit registered the same strange waves as Sam's radar and once again you flew through the skies, but this time you didn't fell, and it was weird you wasn't using the suit to fly nor your powers, you looked at the sky searching for your teammates, you saw Wanda really far away from you, you were going to fly towards her when this force acted now in a invested way, it dragged your body to the ground violently, leaving you unconscious for minutes.

"Sam? Wanda?  Bucky? Vision? Clint? Y/N ? are you okay?" You heard as an echo.

"Sam, Wanda, Bucky, Vision, Clint, Y/N Report" You heard once more, this time you were returning to life.

"Sam, Wanda, Bucky, Vision, Clint, Y/N Report" You heard Steve's voice, he sounded worried and hurt, still you hadn't manage to talk, you need it a little time.

"I found Wanda!" you heard Tony's voice, he was relieved.

"Fine, where are the others?" You heard Bruce, he sounded hurt too.

"I'm still searching for Vision" Thor said.

"Can we go home? I feel like after training with Nat " you finally spoked.

"Thanks God! Where are you Y/N?!" You heard Tony's worried-dad voice.

"How I'm supposed to know that?, everything looks exactly the same everywhere, and I think the radar is broken" you said while standing up, and fuck, you felt really bad.

"Can you fly?, maybe I can see you in the sky" you heard Thor.

"I'll be fine, I’ll look for Sam and Clint" you said by looking around.

"Fine, just, take care" you heard Steve's voice.

You began to walk in the woods but the suit was damn heavy, so you made it return to their initial state. You walked and walked looking and calling everywhere for Clint and Sam, but you just couldn't find them nor the others.

You felt better when you heard that they had already found Vision and that Wanda was better, apparently all Cap's team were together, Tony with T'Challa and Wanda, but he was looking for Bucky, meanwhile you were all by yourself in the cold woods.

"Y/N report" Steve said.

"I'm still looking for them" you said taking a big breath.

"But, are you okay?" he asked you, still worried by the situation.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it, how's everyone there?" you asked, you haven't heard Natasha in a while.

"We're fine, we hit a lot of pine trees, but Thor catched us before hitting the ground" Steve said with a chuckle.

"At least you're all together" you said.

"You'll find them" Steve told you, and in that moment all you wanted was to be with him, you have never felt so lost, even when you knew they were close from you, but you couldn't find the way back to them.

You were going to reply when you heard music in the distance, you knew that song, many people do know it, you thought it was Tony at first, but how could he be? his Iron Man suit is not a giant speaker, but how there was music into the woods? Was someone out there beside you all?

"Steve can you hear this?" you asked him

"What?" he asked confused.

"Life on Mars, David Bowie, please tell me is Tony" you said under your breathe while crossing the trees.

"I don't hear any music Y/N, and is not me for sure dear" you heard Tony's voice in the other side.

After that you couldn't listen the other in the comms, you guess it was just because they stopped talking. You kept walking in the snow and you tried to be silent, and then you heard it, branches breaking, birds flying, someone was running.

You focused all you had so you closed your eyes to focus, you were trying to guess where the noises were coming from, and so you didn't saw when everything changed,  all the trees changed, you weren't in the snow anymore, you were standing in dead leaves, when you detected the sound you opened your eyes again and you were more than confused.

"The hell is happening" you said under your breath, you were petrified in the place looking at the sight infront of you.

And then you saw a child running in front of you, crying.

"Hey!" you shouted behind the kid, but she didn't listened, she kept running, so you ran behind her.

"Hey! Child! stop!" you shouted but this kid was kind of deaf, still you kept running behind her

"Hey! I'm not going to hurt you" you shouted once more but you stopped when she didn't listened to you.

The music eventually faded just to be replaced by more noises, people running towards you, gunshots, you turned around and you saw many man dressed all in black with guns in their hands.

"Fuck" you said before running for the girl once again.

You reached the girl and when you tried to take her, your hand just passed through her like a ghost. You stopped running and you saw how she kept on running for her dear life, you couldn't comprehend anything, you were frozen in place, until you heard a gunshot and then you felt pain in your left leg, you screamed, you placed a hand where the bullet went through and you heard the little girl scream, you looked at her and you saw her body on the floor, but she got up, looking at her bleeding leg, in the exact place as yours, in that moment you didn't feel pain anymore, you looked at your hand and you didn't found blood.

"What is this?" you asked yourself standing up and looking at the little girl and she saw you.

You saw the fear in her eyes, she was pleading with they, and someone made you turned around, a man with a black mask, you freaked out and the first instinct was to protect yourself and the kid, in that moment you felt your powers coming to life, so you started to fight. You felt he was wearing something with metal and you used it against him, you were angry, even pissed, you wanted to end everything now, the man in front of you was choking under your power, until you felt something sting your neck, you blinked and you saw that the one you were choking was T'Challa, you gasped and he fell to the snow and then everything turned black.

"Ich frage dich nicht und hör auf zu weinen!" the tall man with brown hair screamed at you. (I'm not asking you, and stop crying)

You were in a big room covered with mirrors, there were few lights blinking and the other completely dead. The floor and some mirrors were covered in blood like your hands and feet. You body ached, badly, your felt your body burning inside, you have cuts everywhere, you could hardly breathe and you were more than tired.

You we're crying hard, your throat hurt and you knew your nose was red. You fell into the floor when the same man hit you with great force in your face. You stopped crying but you felt the blood running down your nose and mouth, you tried to clean it with your hand but it didn't stop.

"Letztes Mal! Mach es jetzt oder es wird schlimmsten sein!" the man didn't help you to get up, he was just screaming at you. (do it now or it will be worst)

You stumbled on the floor, but you quickly recovered, your tears were running down your face just like the blood, but you tried to stop crying.

"jetzt!" the man shouted once more, this time even louder and you closed your eyes.

"Ich will nicht, Sir." you hardly said. (I don't want to, Sir).

And again the hitted you, this time in your stomach, making you spit blood. You fell into the floor once more and he grabbed your hair when you didn't get up in less than a minute. You screamed and again you were crying.

"Schaue ihn an!" he told you, forcing your face to at the other kid. (Look at him)

"töte ihn!, oder vergiss deine Mutter" he shouted once more and he threw you into the floor again. (Kill him, or forget your mother)

You closed your eyes and held your breath. You felt the power running in your veins, the force under your feet, even in the wind and you heard the screams of the other kid, you didn't knew what was you doing, it you could sense the pain in the little kid.

"Schaue ihn an!" the man forced you eyes to open. (Look at him)

And you screamed when you saw the kid getting murdered by you, covered in blood, full of daggers made by you, blood coming out of his body, the electricity on his eyes, dying in matter of seconds, but they were looking at you.

“Y/N! Stop screaming it’s me!” you heard as an echo in your nightmare.

“Y/N! It’s just a dream! Wake up! your safe!” you heard once more, a voice calling you.

“Y/N!” You finally opened you eyes.

You screamed, you cried you gasped for air, you felt your lungs burning, and the power running in your veins trying to escape.

"Bruce! the medicine now!" Tony screamed trying to hold you by your shoulders.

But all you could see was the face of the kid, you were shaking, You were awake but you still saw the nightmare. Then a sting in your left leg, and you stopped everything. You heard multiple things falling into the floor and again you gasp for air.

"You okay Y/N, you okay" Tony said sitting next to you.

You looked around, you was on the Quinjet with Tony, Bruce, Wanda, T'Challa and Vision.

"What happened?" you heard Tony asked.

"I don't know I saw someone into the woods" you saw, but your eyes weren't focusing in Tony.

"Y/N, what did you saw?" Tony asked again

"I'm not sure" you replied to Tony.

"Y/N, stop hiding things from me" Tony said with hurt in his voice.

"So you stop too. This things are not only nightmares, and you know that" you told Tony, your eyes finally focusing on him.

Tony lookead at you and then at the ground, he covered his face with his hands.

"Tell me the truth Tony" you said once more and Tony looked at you with tears on his eyes.