#grank is a dick

[judeiscariot]

my alarm is literally gonna go off in five hours and im up grankposting. good fucking nigjt jesus christ

[so-emo-i-fell-apart]

she gets frikey on my dick till i grank

Poetry

[mourningrays]

granking dick and cock

[curious-sootball]

Bonus to my rant about Grank and the Legends in general:(CW: mentions and discussion of domestic abuse and alcoholism)

This freaking scene. It kind of flown over my head when I was younger, but during my recent re-read (which I paralleled with skimming the GoG wiki) it occured to me: Theo is a domestic abuse survivor. (His father was a solider in H'rath's army and wanted his kids to follow in his footsteps; spoilers, it did not work out at all), and he tried joining the Glauxian brothers and got rejected there right before he stumbled into Grank's hideout (I have a strong suspicion that Kathryn came up with Theo's family backstory a tad later, while she was writing the 10th and 11th books; otherwise this bit feels very, very weird). And he was greeted with an absolutely unwarranted dickery from Grank and doesn't even get an apology later (yes, Grank is still a dick towards him way later, when Theo is skilled enough to forge battle claws), and his response is this. F u c k i n g yikes, this kid deserved better. (To be fair, he calls Grank out on being racist and a hypocrite – old douche tried to lie that no one taught him how to handle fire. Fengo would like to have a word with you about that, Grank).

I cannot stress this enough, but Theo also builds his points like a legal defense – very clear, very little room for ambiguity, he literally means what he says. "Can we get on with the rules?". And he thanks Grank once he puts everything out clearly. Let's be honest, Grank did not deserve this guy as an apprentice.

This poor kid uses logic as defence. (This may or may not be a result of an inconsistent writing).

I admit, i thought that Theo was kinda sassy when I first read the book, and he positively is, but: Grank absolutely deserved to be dragged during that scene.(plus, looking back, I was going through a lot of stuff I wasn't aware of when I was a kid).

The fact that Theo was forced to leave his younger brother back in an abusive household is its own kind of messed up.

I actually felt bad for his mother when I got her full backstory on my first reading through; this stuff is disturbingly grounded for an arc that features an "always chaotic evil" species and an owl version of king Arthur/messiah figure as a prominent character.

Tldr: young Theo is a precious brave kid who deserves the world and 👏 Grank 👏 is 👏 a 👏 dick👏.

[mrsour]

Hello you beautiful Snowflakes! How y’all doing today! I hope your doing great and if you are having a rainy day then I hope everything is okay and I wish you the best of luck getting threw whatever is happening in your life to make you upset

And today/tonight I have for you! Some incorrect quotes, with my oc included! There’s a few in here 👀 I also love Eclipse so… enjoy

*—*

Moon: why are you here?

Y/N: Freddy texted me and said Mister got hurt. So I brought a watermelon

Moon: why?

Y/N: Mister loves watermelons *gives Mister the watermelon*

Mister: *hugs watermelon whilst crying*

*—*

Mister: *kisses Eclipses cheek*

Eclispe: what is this

Mister: affection?..

Eclipse: Digusting

Eclipse:… do it again

*—*

Y/N: you call it a near death experience…

Y/N: I call it a vibe check from god

Sunny: *eye twitch’s*

*—*

Freddy: Hey guys- Uh, why are you all standing on chairs?

Y/N: we’re playing a game called “we saw a big ass spider and don’t know where the fuck it went”

Freddy: *scrambles into chair*

*—*

Eclipse: pfft look at that idiot

*mister running at a adult with a baseball bat*

Eclipse:…

Eclipse: shot that’s my idiot

*—*

Y/N: I love you. Now say it back

Monty: it back

Y/N:

Monty:

Y/N:

Monty: NO DON’T CRY! I’M KIDDING!!

*—*

Moon: don’t go to the south side of the Pizzaplex, it’s not safe

Y/N not listening what so ever: mhm

[next day]

Moon with an annoyed face: whatcha got there

Y/N holding a smoothie with Mister Man behind them on a lead covered in blood: a smoothie

*—*

Y/N: I made you a friendship bracelet

Roxxane: I’m not really a jewellery person

Y/N: you don’t have to wear it if you don’t wan-

Roxxane: no I’m wearing it forever. Back off

*—*

Y/N: *drunk after one shot* you’re so hot

DJ: uh huh

Y/N: and spicy

DJ: right

Y/N: *wraps arms around one of his hands* my lil buffalo chicken wing

*—*

Mister: FUCK, I WANNA DIE

Sunny: Language!

Mister: hickity heck, I crave death!

*—*

Mister: we need to distract these guys

Y/N: leave it to me

Y/N: centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss

Sunny, Moon and Eclipse: *immediately begin arguing*

Freddy in the corner watching in horror: oh this, I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all

*—*

Y/N: why are your tongues purple?

Freddy: we had slushes. I had a blue one

Monty: I had a red one

Y/N: oh

Y/N:

Y/N: OH

Mister:

Mister: you drank each other’s slushes?

*—*

Y/N: can I be Grank with you guys?

Mister: sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help

Freddy: can I still be Freddy

Monty: shh, let Frank speak

*—*

Y/N: *gently taps table*

Mister: *taps back*

Freddy: what are they doing?

Monty: Morse code

Y/N: *aggressively taps table*

Mister: *slams hand down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

*—*

Mister: Look, I may not be a saint, but it’s not like. I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground

Eclispe: okay, that’s really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did that

*—*

Mister: *walking into a room* Sorry I’m late… I was.. doing things

*sounds if running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Moon: *out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS

*—*

Mister: okay, Truth or Dare?

Eclipse: Truth

Mister: how many hours have you slept this week?

Eclipse:

Eclipse:… Dare

Mister: go to bed

Eclipse: I don’t like this game

*—*

Freddy: what are your goals

Y/N: to Pet all the dogs

Freddy: no, fitness goals

Y/N: to be fast enough to pet all the dogs

*—*

Y/N: so are we flirting right now?

Moon: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Y/N: That doesn’t answer my Question

*—*

Mister: *kicks the door down looking panicked*

Monty: what did you do

Mister: nobody died

Monty: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

*—*

Sunny watching the news: someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today?!

Y/N: *walks in covered with ink* well, maybe the squid was being a dick

*—*

Mister: you love me, right?

Eclipse: Normally I would say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it

*—*

Y/N: *stubs their tow* FUCK!

Sunny: mind your language!

Y/N: what else am I supposed to say, “woe is I”???

Sunny:

Y/N: you have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes

*—*

That’s all for today!

I really love eclipse so I had to do a Mister and Eclipse ship❄️🌗

Stay safe you beautiful/Handsome Snowflakes!

Don’t forget to eat drink and sleep to contain a healthy life style!

Bye now!

[judeiscariot]

this song is about granking dick for cocaine