Starlight - Chapter Thirty-Five: Apocalypse
Pairing: Din Djarin x OC
Rating: Mature
Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Smut
WARNINGS: Explicit Language. Graphic Violence. Derealization. Gore.
Words: 7k
Summary: In the middle of it all, a metal surgical table, leather straps attached to the sides. A tray of scalpels to the left, powered down heart rate and oxygen monitors to the right. On top of the table however, the object to make Din’s heart stop.
Lumina.
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An unsatisfactory thump echos on impact to the tile in the closet of a room. A single three strand braid, woven tight and thick lands at the heels of Lumina’s feet. What’s left is choppy and uneven, ending at the middle of her neck. Thick recycled air brushes against exposed skin, fresh cut ends poking.
On the counter in front, a knife sets down continuing to vibrate until it too falls.
She’s asked, What do you remember? The question comes from behind, practiced posh accent as heavy as Dagobah’s humidity.
An answer is foregone, the weight of her tongue unbearable.
“She’s in the void,” postulates a second, another female. After a pause, “The voltage should have fried her from the inside. She’s melted.”
“Perhaps,” the first agrees. A hand grips her chin, cold skin on her fever temptation. Again she’s asked: What do you remember?
She can’t answer, in the most physical sense. Her mouth opens to cough, phlegm spitting on the counter right before the mirror. She refuses contact with the vision of herself. She can imagine the sight well enough. She watches outside herself from the rafters of ventilation. She’s cold in her observation deck, wrapped in stiff wool blankets. They scratch until she earns a rash.
Ghost stands directly behind, officer Kane posed against the entryway. Lumina, in the middle of it all. The chair she sits on is old, wooden, creaking whenever weight shifts. They’ve each taken their turn of their snide remarks of her.
“She could have done miracles.”
“Wasted talent.”
“Maybe it’s for the best. Men would never listen to it. Not when she looks like that.”
“She used to be a whore.”
“Figures.”
Ghost shoves the side of her head. She hates silence, rebellion, disrespect. She assumes a right to Lumina’s memory, whatever she believes to be left of it. Were she to possess the same gift, the discovery would be quite the disappointment.
Everything is there, amplified and muted. Faces turn to masks, bodies blurred shapes, familiar motions. She feels high. Lonely. Claustrophobic.
For the first time, Lumina misses company. A feeling, she assumes, to be unrequited. In vain and a sick need of self deprecation, she attempts to convince herself it is not human interaction, affection, that she longs for. Instead the scenery of green, whomever it comes with an unwilling side affect of association.
The light cruiser is cold and empty, lacking windows to space and oxygen stale. Green paradise filled her with warmth, breathed her anew. There are few places which resemble it. She has traveled more of the galaxy than most men could conceptualize. Nothing has felt so welcoming than the woods. Nothing except for—
Lumina locks eyes with herself, squinting like she were too bright. She sees brown above dark circles, odds and ends of overgrown and chopped layers sticking up from her scalp. She is a kiss away from death.
She might as well be staring at a holophoto of her childhood.
Not all memory is abstract. She remembers the sun warm on her skin, reflections of silver always to her left. She remembers waterfalls, three within close proximity, more further away. Six round creatures, brown and large. Tall grass, centuries old trees, blue lakes and lagoons. A manor as old as time, worn with love, forgotten as all things are. Lace, ivy, dedications to those already dead, a Senator and a Jedi.
She remembers flowers.
A wild field of blossoms in a haze. Decorating everything visible. Garlands, mosaics, art in all ways art can be. A single bouquet, separated from the rest. Large, dusty blue, white almost. Golden at its heart, bursting into five pointed ends.
A quick release of dawn, a flash of what could have been.
Lumina does not look like herself, and breaks contact lest she further her own destruction.
She’s forced to stand and dressed like a doll, bottom up. Looking as if she were poured into cloth.
Kane repeats her earlier sentiment.
Figures.
The corridor sounds crowded, heavy, angry. Sensation shoots up her nerves. Lumina faces Ghost, the second now complete with her mask. The red lit visor is burning. Kane coughs during their contest, chirps from her communicator duetting.
Her muscles relax with sweetness of a nearing end.
---
Bo-Katan, though only knowing Din Djarin for such a short time, is far too aware that something is wrong. Past the usuals of his gruffness and hostility, exacerbated tenfold, his mind is poisoned. The change is a palpable chemical.
Jedi, she thinks scoffing. If that.
Fennec Shand snaps in front of her helm. “Focus.”
Bo raises her left blaster, three shots into three Stormtroopers. She shrugs. The forces are less than she expected, and half seem far too unwilling than usual conscripts. Her energy is better suited elsewhere.
Or so she thinks. Fennec, clearly, has other ideas.
They play off another, her and Shand. It’s a miracle they hadn’t met sooner, all things considered. The galaxy is far too small for her liking. Everyone she knows—those still living—have sequestered themselves in the farthest corners, each lightyears apart. There’s no reason for this invisible golden string of sunlight to tie them all.
Snap.
“I’m focused.”
“Sure.”
“…You have no idea the position I’m in.” Bo speaks with a soft edge, cautious of the wandering ears of Koska and Dune.
“I have some.”
“No. You don’t know them like I did.”
Do.
…Did.
“I’ve worked with them both. Him at the beginning. Her at the end.”
“Before or after?”
“Mainly before. Once after. Once after the after."
"Were you friends?"
"Friendly… eventually." Fennec stops first, hand raised, she points left. She whispers, "Were you?"
Dune takes care of the offenders. Her automatic blaster is insulting, but it serves its purpose. She’s more than helpful, a surprise given her avid protest on the rescue. She’s made her disdain for the girl—Lumina, abundantly clear. There are questions on everything, her hidden truths, intentions, trust, lack thereof.
Bo-Katan leaves the returns to Shand, she worries if she says anything it will be that she agrees. No one is sure of anything, least of all Din, and though Bo-Katan would never admit it, she takes his word above all else. Fett seems less concerned about whatever the girls sense of morality could be than her just being alive. Clones, blind allegiance seems built into their core. This Bo-Katan knows, it’s the rest who refuse to listen.
Dune has a point, but the thought of abandonment now makes Bo sick. Though Fennec doesn’t look to have any issues of her own. She and Fett are staunchly for this mission. Bo can’t determine yet whether Fennec’s loyalty is a stem from her partnership to Fett or her own will. She’s not sure she wants the answer.
Blindness is far easier than acute awareness of truth.
"I don't find making friends easy," Bo admits, remembering the question. “Or all together necessary." She nods to herself, following a vague memory. "Though she was the best of them."
“I mean were you friendly?" Fennec asks.
"No."
The crowd of them arrive to the corridor before the cell of Pershing’s instruction. "Make it quick," Dune says, flanking left with Koska to their lookout positions. "I'd rather not wait around."
"Becoming Sith soup isn't my idea of fun either," Bo says. “Keep comms open, call if you need backup.”
Crouched together at the end of the hall, her and Shand, stare at the lonely metal door. Two guards stand, one on each side. Fennec refuses to drop conversation, even as they take down the troopers and shoot them in the chest.
“What’s the plan?” she asks.
“If you were listening you would know I went over the plan—”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
Bo’s lips purse a thin line. She hadn’t thought that far. Dune’s objections rattle inside. “I don’t know.”
“Fett says you have a location.”
“Not exactly. It’s been years. Could be anywhere, and encrypted comms aren’t my definition of approachable.”
“You don’t think it’s smart.”
“You do?” Bo sighs. “I want what’s best.”
“For whom?”
”Fett doesn’t seem keen on it, why are you?”
Fennec shrugs. “Like I said. We were friendly.”
Bo-Katan takes the code cylinder from a fallen guard, careful to avoid the blood from his chest. They press against each side of the door on her insertion into the lockboard, blasters ready. On Bo-Katan’s word cage doors open, they enter with initiative. Depth is larger than anticipated, and the light from the hall does little.
“Lumina?” she calls. “It is Bo-Katan and Fennec Shand. Are you here?” Her helmets opticals convert to night vision, a now green lit room empty. The settlement of a grave enters her gut, she doesn’t think and calls her name.
“Lumina,” Fennec corrects.
Right.
The corner of the room coos. “What the hell?” Bo says, turning. “The kid is here.” The alien waddles to the rooms center, meeting the pair. He waves, and it’s now Bo sees the shattered lightbulb at their feet. Bo kneels, holding her hand out in caution. “Hey little guy. Remember me?”
“I don’t get it,” Fennec says. “If he’s here, where is she?”
“I don’t know. Let’s get to the bridge, there are cameras everywhere. We’ll find her.” She taps on her arm. “Marshal Dune, Koska, we’ve run into a situation. Is the path for entry to the bridge clear?”
The response is static.
“Marshal Dune, Koska. Do you read me?”
“Unfortunately your party seems to be indisposed right now.” The voice and its owner, concealed behind a black mask in the doorway. She removes the code cylinder from the lockboard, twirling it around leather gloved fingers. “Ni gana kil'yc ca'nara.” And before Bo-Katan can exclaim any senes of confusion, much less fear, her hand slams on the lockboard panel. “You’ll just get in my way.”
The doors lock shut.
She shares a look with Fennec, one only meaning one thing. Marshal Dune was right.
“Din Djarin,” Bo-Katan rushes into her communicator. “She’s not here. You’re being set up. You are not to engage with her under any circumstance. I repeat do not engage. Abort your mission and go to the bridge. I repeat, abort your mission immediately. Do. Not. Engage.”
---
To call Doctor Pershing’s assessment of the situation off would be an oversimplification. Part of Din Djarin wonders if they were given accurate schematics of Gideon’s light-cruiser at all. While he faced the privilege of no storm trooper confrontation, the same oddly applied in a noticeable lack of dark trooper.
He’d gone just as Pershing instructed. Second floor stern, port side. From there, exactly three hundred paces from the lift shaft to the brig, passing the holding bay on the way. Neither occurrence remained true.
Three hundred paces becomes five hundred until the nearest door, and the fleet of dark troopers remained MIA. Instead, the corridor echos his presence and vents rumble. MSE droids skid past in the opposite direction with no alarm.
Din debates turning around, returning to the lambda, or worse— comming Bo-Katan, admitting he is simply not capable of being alone. Alas, pride beats even the strongest of curses, and he continues.
Pershing’s code cylinder does not work on the first door, nor the second or third. In fact, Din inserts the breaker into every lockboard he sees seven times until function begins.
He concludes with the undeniable fact that Doctor Pershing had lied to them all. And if such were true, nothing could ever be predicted. Especially this:
The room which opens is not a brig, nor a standard holding cell by any stretch of the imagination. It is a laboratory. With glass cabinets along the wall and floor, vials of meticulously labeled liquids, tables and counters covered by wires and computer terminals.
In the middle of it all, a metal surgical table, leather straps attached to the sides. A tray of scalpels to the left, powered down heart rate and oxygen monitors to the right. On top of the table however, the object to make Din’s heart stop.
Lumina.
Sleeping, or worse but certainly incapacitated. One arm hanging off the edge. Her clothing torn apart. She looks feverish and pale, twitching every now and then.
Din stills in the doorway longer than feasible to excuse as decision making. He wants it all, to scream and run and vomit and hide and rage and break every glass and not care what cuts.
Bo-Katan’s voice unwillingly penetrates his thoughts, frantic. Din Djarin. She’s not here, you’re being— He cuts the connection and unwillingly enters.
Lumina resembles her appearance after Nevarro far too greatly for Din to have any sense of comfort. He can hear the AZI unit whirl around the room, reading useless information of her brainwaves and abnormal vitals. He scans her heart rate, weary of the sensation she claimed it caused. Unconscious or not, angered or not, he cannot bring himself to harm her. The results are too low, dangerously close to snapping into cardiac arrest.
The body seems to have entered a self sufficient regulatory stasis, he hears the AZI say, bringing as much comfort now as it did then.
That is to say, none at all.
“Lumina,” he whispers. “Wake up…” His protest is unconvincing and her body temperature drops rapidly. “Lumina wake up.” He takes her shoulders, lifting her with a cradled head, she is limp. “I know you can hear me.” He grows frantic, air from his nose hot. His visor fogs. “Lumina. We promised Fett we’d bring you alive, wake up.” He swears.
“You’re a fucking hypocrite you know that? You make me promise I won’t die or do stupid shit and that’s all you ever do. I can’t keep watching you die. I won’t do it. I can’t do it anymore. I hate you. I hate you, I fucking hate you. You’re the worst thing that ever happened me. I wish I never met you. You’re selfish and entitled and you have to wake the fuck up so I can tell you that I—” He runs out of air, shaking his head. “I swear I’ll kill you if you die. I’ll do it right here. I’ll fucking kill you Lumina. Don’t make me. Please—please, Lu. Lu, Lu wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake—”
She stretches. The movement is slow and hardly recognizable but her muscles move and contract, she groans. She breathes through her mouth, heavy like wampas lay on her lungs. Her eyes blink open, soft gray in harsh light.
She sits up, painfully assisted by him. Her vision doesn’t focus on any one thing, fluttering around the room, squinting at the bulbs above.
Something breaks, a small incremental shatter in Din’s brain. He cannot help the itch, and has an unbearable urge to kiss her. “Sarad?”
It wouldn’t matter if Din had left her for a lifetime, there is no instance in which he could ever forget the sinking feeling of knowing something is horribly wrong. She’s dull and uncommitted. She flinches when realizing it is his hands that hold her.
“Lumina?”
“I wouldn’t bother. She has the mental capacity of an infant in this state.”
Din turns. “Moff Gideon.”
“Hello, Din Djarin.” He enters the laboratory, hands behind his back, gaze unassuming. Crossing, he lands behind her. “We must stop meeting this way, it’s far too crass for my liking.”
“What did you do to her?”
“I assure you she has done it to herself. We presented her many opportunities to make the right choice, and yet she did not. Disobedience is not tolerated as I am sure you are aware.”
Din asks again, each word hit. “What did you do?”
“She was a troubled girl, and I’m afraid Dr. Pershing’s methods proved lackluster. I wouldn’t worry if I were you, while the mind flayer is not gentle, she retains no memory of it. Or, anything.”
“What?”
“Please,” Gideon scoffs. “Don’t pretend you care just to humor me. Have you forgotten what she’s done to you? The Child? She is the reason for so much—��� his left shoulder twitches “—torment.”
“She’s still a person,” Din stutters.
“Is she? I understand how you could be fooled, so was I, but I assure you personhood is the least of her descriptors. Haven’t you wondered how she seems to be so… superhuman? Why she of all people carried such importance? I had Doctor Pershing conduct his own studies to discover this. She is a strandcast. Containing original Fett DNA, of which the Empire continues to hold total and unending proprietorial rights to. This thing isn’t human, it’s a rogue experiment. You see Din Djarin, this is my property, and it won’t be going anywhere.”
“I don’t care what she is,” Din says. “I made a promise. She’s coming with me.”
Gideon walks back, pacing the laboratory in long strides. “I should like you to meet someone.” He smiles with teeth, right hand waved out. “My personal guard.” From the corridor, a masked womanly figure dressed in black and red. Her description is of ill comparison to that of Pershing’s, and Din’s memory is far to hazy to recall the fateful day to perfection. The further he strays the less he knows. But she is shorter than he, thin but curved. He sees no skin.
“I do not often make requests,” Gideon says. “But I do recommend you leave with haste. She is not one you’d like to cross.”
Perhaps it is instinct or a sickening need, a rotted habit within his psyche, but Din grabs Lumina’s hand. She flinches, he feels bile stir. “I’m not leaving without her, and I don’t fear you. Or her.” He ignores the pounding in his chest.
Gideon’s jaw tightens. “Very well,” he says. “You may take the thing. After all it was created once, she can be again. However, in doing so you forfeit ever seeing the Child again.”
“What?”
“Fortunately, seeing as she provided all testing trials, he has remained an unnecessary nuisance, yet a necessary backup. If you’d rather correct his fate into hers, be my guest.”
A storm whips to the level of hurricanes inside of Din.
“I urge you to think on your decision,” Gideon says. “Don’t forget the reason you’ve had to drag Bo-Katan and her crew of savages aboard.” He spares a look. “I hope you’re not surprised. I’d recognize Lady Kryze beyond the grave. I owe her my thanks. Without her, Mandalore and many many more of you Mandalorians may still be alive. Without her…” His right hand falls to his hip. Gideon takes hold of a sleek hilt. The device powers on, the sound angry, the light the darkest he’s seen. “…I would never have this.”
“Am I supposed to be impressed?”
“Are you so blind to yourself? This is the Darksaber,” Gideon says. Lumina’s head lifts as does the guard’s, staring mesmerized. “An ancient Mandalorian weapon, said to create kings. You see Din Djarin, whomever wields this sword rules Mandalore and all its people. This is why Bo-Katan has chosen to join you. Believe no other excuse she has said. She works for her own benefit.”
“I don’t care about the sword,” Din says. “Keep it. Die with it. I just want the kid… and her.”
“Is that right? Is that truly what you want? Her?” Din has not missed the growing migraines, their current reappearance penetrates with a force. “I’d like you to think, truly think of your desires.”
Fett wants her, he reminds himself. That’s reason enough.
“She’s a malfunctioning asset created for destruction,” Gideon continues, turning off his saber. “The fact is hardwired into her programming, she can never change. Never provide you with a family, comfort, love. This model at least, is incapable, and in this state she has no idea who you are.”
Incapable.
Din catches himself in his chest, fist tight. Something dark and buried tells him he’s known all along. It’s the same whispered haunting voice that spoke the truth to him all those days ago. Trapped in Gideon’s cargo hold, held by droids against his will. He’s always known. Nothing has changed, not in the slightest.
And her, her being some… some clone, some piece of bioengineering, what difference does it make? How is it not another excuse for her actions?
He steps away, far away. Far enough that she is no longer within arms reach and his heel hits cabinets. A glass vial topples and cracks.
The guard watches, Lumina does not. Her gaze is robotic, remaining stagnant on the sword. She turns hypnotized to face the oppressor.
Gideon isn’t entirely incorrect in his assessment. Mostly, but not complete. Lumina isn’t the same, the sight of her makes that much obvious… but had he known her at all? Had anything been real? She had indeed worked against him the whole of their time but…
His nerves twitch. Damn migraine.
“Tell me, Din Djarin,” Gideon says. “What is it that you want?”
He doesn’t want her. He doesn’t. He will repeat it until he dies, he does not want her. Even now. Especially now. Not as he stares at her for the first time in ten days, of which each feels like a year. Not when there’s this insatiable urge to grab her, hold her, take her somewhere, anywhere else. He wants to take her into the Razor Crest, let her take a stupidly long shower as she always does and sing just loud enough so that he may hear. He wants her to sleep and eat and sleep until she looks anything like herself again.
But the Razor Crest does not exist anymore. Neither does she.
She does not care for him. Not ever, not now. Especially now. Not when she cannot remember anything of their lives. Cannot look at him, recoils at his touch. When all she can give him is an exposed and turned back, chilled from blowing air and perfectly clean.
A perfectly clean unmarked back…
Huh.
“I choose the Child,” Din says. “Keep her, you’re right. She means nothing.”
“Are you certain?”
He nods. “Yes.”
“Very well. 318,” Gideon says, her attention snapped. “You are dismissed. Return to your quarters.”
She stumbles, jumping off the surgical table without imprints on the back of her thighs. She nods at Gideon, ignores Din, and brushes past the guard. When doors close it’s as if she never existed at all.
What a thought.
“Where’s the kid?” Din asks.
Gideon smirks. “That would be nice to know, wouldn’t it?”
In an instant Din is flung against the opposite wall, crashing directly into glass, labeled fluid splashing in every direction. He groans, his helmet denting the wall.
“Did you think it would be that easy?” Gideon asks. He keeps position while his guard advances. Her left arm is stretched, fingers moving on her right. “Did you honestly believe you could get anything from me?” He laughs. “You have been a stain on my plans for too many moons and your interest has faded.”
Din’s body constricts on himself, the guard pushes him further and further into durasteel.
“You should have never come,” Gideon says. “The Child alone I can understand, I’m a father as well. But her?” He scoffs. “Lord Vader created her for one purpose, to squash enemies like bugs. It is all she knows. You should have understood that.”
Dins feet lift off the ground, not far but shadow does form. He tries to fight, he tries to try and he cannot. His body struggles too much, it is too weak, he is too human.
Gideon instructs, “Kill him.”
His throat tightens, his hands pull at his own neck. Nothing works. The guards left hand balls into a fist, snapping to the side. His vision blurs. Din Djarin watches her right hand gently turn with his neck and falls into a deep unimaginable sleep.
---
The Mandalorian awakes by a jolt of electricity, a minute two finger punch to the pulse point of his neck.
He hears that he’s dead, however—and although he cannot say he is familiar with the sensation—he does not feel dead. Quite the opposite. Energy renews, and in the strangest way, the aches he carried disappear. Clarity enters.
His eyes take longer to open, boots and knees crouched in front of his visor. He couldn’t have been unconscious for long, behind the figure of the guard is still Moff Gideon. He speaks with gesture, and it is now Din realizes his prior shyness in motion. On his left, his arm ends abrupt, disfigured.
That’s new.
Gideon is less proud without knowledge of Din’s audience. He keeps a distance, almost afraid.
The thought, surely she couldn’t have caused his disfigurement, is not a stranger to his mind. The implication however, is.
She doesn’t move or speak or breathe really. Gideon talks, as he always does. He praises her. Her hand enters Din’s left side pocket—having landed on his right—quickly and leaves all the same. Gideon tells her he’s amazed her conditioning was a success. She stands, Din forced to stare at her heels.
“Glory to the Empire,” she says eventually. Her vocoder is too strong, she reverbs like a canyon.
Gideon repeats.
Glory to the Empire.
With a sinking feeling, Din would much rather be prepared for his grave. Placed six feet below in rich soil, safe from the collision of fate.
---
“You will kill the Mandalorian… What I see, is the Mandalorian you align yourself with will fear you, and you will kill him in the name of the Empire.”
The words tornado as Lumina’s hands shake at her sides, sweating under leather. She pants outside of Doctor Pershing’s laboratory where a gang of four Stormtroopers await. The mask Ghost had given her found quick removal, laying thrown on the floor. Her forehead presses against the wall, expression pinched.
“Get a move on,” one says.
She shouldn’t worry. She knows she shouldn’t worry. Her skills surpass worry, they transcend fear. The Mandalorian is not dead. He may be sore and dazed but he is not dead. He’s not. And if he were, if she were somehow careless and unyielding to her power she would have felt it. His pain, his agony, the Force leave his body. She would know, it would kill her just the same.
A darkness whispers in her ear, Anakin killed his wife…
“I said move,” the Trooper repeats.
She grunts, “Give me a minute.”
The silence is too loud, she can’t hear through the walls. She should have stayed, fought Gideon herself, finished what she unknowingly started. It isn’t fair to Din. It’s never been fair.
What if he hadn’t woken? What if Gideon were in the room at this very moment, boasting his success, torturing the Mandalorians assumed dead body. What if the helmet is removed?
She didn’t think this through. Din is a capable man there is no doubt of it, but Lumina is uncontrollable and dangerous, she knows not her own strength. What is he against her? Ghost forbid her weapons but what does that matter to the Force?
Her ability to consistently make the worst choices would be impressive under any other circumstance.
She should find Fennec, create an excuse of direction and return to the cell. Koska and Dune should wake soon, bodies dragged inside of the bridge. She still has time to fix things, course correct.
It’s all Bo-Katan’s fault, an excuse she cannot abandon. What business does she have to be here? She never expected Din to want her rescue, and had surely hoped to be correct. So why should Bo-Katan look for Lumina specifically? They hadn’t been the most amicable in their initial meeting.
Pershing must have had something to do with it. Though explanations were rushed and short lived, he knew what their final meeting would result in. The drugs, the flayer, the oncoming ambush by the Mandalorian and his company. They decided logistics as quick as possible.
Their finding of him was no coincidence, and his fear permeates regardless of ruse. Should he be privy to a plan—a likely scenario—he was to promote motions. The Mandalorian Din Djarin was to be directed to the station with the Child. Boba Fett would go on to discover Lumina with possible aide by Fennec Shand. Any other parties could be divided as they saw fit. Only then would Lumina through some miracle arrive at the Child’s holding cell, entrap the Mandalorian until all was well and vanish without a trace.
Pain enters her chest. Why wasn’t Boba here? What of his promises?
A baton wacks at the back of her leg, breaking her contemplation. She bites her tongue to not cry. “Move!” the Trooper barks.
They may think her turned infantile and slow, but it does not disregard their innate fear. The thrill of joy given in their power, her hurt.
“I want to see 313,” Lumina says through clenched teeth.
“She is to remain undisturbed. Direct orders.”
The illusion continued longer than any of them expected. Without a voice it stood simpler but to be tangible? As children Ghost would faint from the experience continuing longer than a minute. She’s older now yes, but overconfident, overzealous.
“I am giving you direct orders, take me to her now.”
“We don’t listen to the likes of you anymore,” another says. “We outrank you, clone.”
…Clone?
Lumina whispers, “What?”
Tired of a wait, they grab at her, pushing her away. “No talking,” one says. “You’re going back in the hole.”
For a moment, Lumina listens without argument. Her feet drag and shoves become all the more frequent, but the word pulls over and over.
Clone.
Suddenly breathing becomes her most difficult task.
They shove her again.
She blacks out.
---
Alone, Moff Gideon moves throughout the laboratory with a slow and dignified ease. He paces his observation as if at any moment it could all disappear. He fears entrapment inside some glorious dream, a miracle of the Galactic Empire, and that he will soon wake up. Many many sacrifices have been made—phantom pains on his left arm grow stronger by the hour, and any hope in seeing his daughter again is nulled—but to reach this conclusion. To win.
To not only defeat the pesky rodent of Din Djarin that has plagued his life for the past rotation, the Mandalorian built of pure beskar and unending gall. To say he did it. To prove once and for all that a Mandalorian is no greater than a simple man. No stronger than a well trained body. No smarter than a former agent of the ISB. No more fearsome than the greatest of Jedi and greater of Sith.
Bo-Katan would come next, already captured in a cell. Waiting, no doubt, with anticipation and slow building anxiety. Her defeat would be even easier this round. Gideon will waste no time and guarantee no Mandalorian would ever interrupt his plans again.
It will be child’s play.
And even this, this undoubted success, his unquestionable victory is not where his foul pride blooms. Gideon lifts a forgotten data sheet, unintelligible letters resembling binary and making out the sequencing of life.
This.
Her.
This unattainable thing. This proof of all his struggle, his research, his desire. The evidence of a myth, the last surviving link to greatness. A combination of science and magic. A handcrafted being, the first documented artificial life to carry the power of the Force.
And she belongs, to him. No longer temperamental, or emotional, or unstable and manic. But a calm vessel, willing and wanting to take any direction given. Immune to attachments. Trained and domesticated like a mutt.
And if by chance she were to become… unpredictable? He wouldn’t have to wait another twenty plus years for a replicated specimen to reach maturity, nor the ten years it took for the original Fett beings. With a Kaminoan trained mind like Doctor Pershing and the endless Imperial funding sure to be granted after the display of his new power, Gideon could have adult clones made in one standard rotation. There would of course, be no need for formal education or socialization. Only objects to destroy and to be destroyed.
Who knows, one day he could perhaps convince Doctor Pershing to implement the cloning methods on another being. Someone… more worthy. Someone like himself.
But he is getting ahead of a future that has yet to come. That will surely come. He will celebrate with wine and the envy of others. Then, oh then the day will arrive that his cohorts will quit their useless wait on Grand Admiral Thrawn or the words of Admiral Rae Sloane. They will realize the alien is wholly unnecessary. That he, Moff Gideon—soon to be Grand Moff Gideon, it is inevitable—is all they could ever want. All they could ever need.
What a day that will be indeed. And this… Grand Inquisitor this child of the harvest, the unfortunate growing muse of his actions. She will too be pleased. They will together build a cloned Sith army, never ending, never dying.
It will be their Empire.
Though, mainly Gideon’s.
How wonderful.
Until then, the matters of the present do need dealing with. For starters, while the body of Din Djarin is a joyous sight, it will begin to smell. And that is a problem far beneath his station. Someone else will have to collect the body, Gideon will take the beskar. To deter from any undeserving thieves of course.
“What a shame,” he gloats to the Mandalorian, crouching. “This is quite the unceremonious end for one of your kind.” By instinct his left hand—or what had once been his left hand—reaches to the beskar helm. The right replaces in action. “You should have believed her,” Gideon muses aloud, his own private diversion. “If you had… maybe she wouldn’t have killed herself—” Gideons words end choking, the grip of a leather hand around his throat.
The Mandalorian rises from the dead. In one fluid motion their positions flip, Gideon slammed to the ground. The Mandalorian shouts in his face, “What did you do?”
Gideon sputters, his eyes bulge wide. This should not be possible. Not at all. The Mandalorian lifts his head again, hitting down so that he sees a flash of white.
“What…” he pants, “…did you do to her?”
And Gideon does the only thing he knows. He blindly reaches for the Darksaber, it’s activation dangerous and spastic. Distracted, Gideon takes the opportunity to knee Din Djarin in the stomach and clamors to his feet. He waves the saber fanatically, like the Mandalorian were a rabid bear to fend off.
The attempt is useless. Din rises to his feet, broad shoulders somehow broader, body somehow taller. Anger all too tangible. From his back he pulls an unending beskar spear.
If the Mandalorian is a bear, Gideon is fresh bloody meat begging to be devoured.
---
Cabinet glass is the first victim, second comes the vials, third the terminals. Beskar and plasma collide in never ending ricochets and hollow bangs. Sparks fly with every impact, the smell of burning metal infiltrates the air.
The aim is two fold, defeating Gideon certainly is the priority but… Din chances every misplaced glance he can spare. The entire room, every inch is evidence of her. Scribbled handwritings of her blood, height, weight. A checklist of future exams, possible theories, prescribed medications.
He shatters whatever he can; spear swooping wider, stabbing further, misdirecting Gideons ill timed shots for his own destruction.
The Moff is no competition and it is an insult to the Mandalorian’s character to assume so in any aspect. Nothing is calculated or practiced. The sword Din assumes, weighs too heavy in his single hand. The blade tempts to drag and is prevented only the lifting of the beskar.
At the first point of break, Gideon scurries across the room to create distance and regain breath. He push the surgical table to slam against Din, but with half the available source of velocity the Mandalorian kicks it away.
Gideon is playing games, and Din is bored.
With the arena opened, Din attacks Moff head on. He utilizes his danger and rage with such fervor, he removes his actions from the blocking preconceived. He does not run or use words to distract Gideon. Overhead lighting flickers them in and out of existence. Din flashes closer in each blossom of light.
Gideon’s right hand lifts wildly, ready to swing. But Din takes hold of his wrist, not bothering to look whether or not he could catch it because he knows he would. Din squeezes the thin frail bone until he hears one snap and one shout of agonized pain.
The hilt falls and skids across the ground.
The game is over.
Din Djarin takes hold of Gideon by the throat and smashes his fists into his face until his gloves turn red and hot. He throws Gideon against the one plain wall of the room. He crashes the Imperial into the paneling over and over and over. Gideon is too weak to fight back, too old, too human. His knees give out first, feet unable to find the bottom of him.
Din never loses grip. He keeps Gideon upright. Keeps him with laser precision. He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t want to. This… this is where Lumina had always been wrong. Din isn’t better than her, he isn’t holier, good. He’s better at hiding his fury, the fires in his eyes.
He could kill Moff Gideon, and he would without any regret. He can picture it so clearly, the spear piercing through the Moff’s trachea, his warm blood splattering out. Another name to the list of the Mandalorian’s cold blooded murders. The New Republic, he knows, would never see to it that Gideon earn a just punishment for his crimes. He had of course been subjected to execution in the first war tribunal. And Bo-Katan had already faced so many disappointments in life, what would the addition of one more change?
Should anyone deserve a sense of vengeance against the Moff it should be Din Djarin. The man had attacked his family after all. Hunted his child for well over a year. He killed Mandalore. Killed Concordia. Killed the tribes of Nevarro. Killed the Razor Crest. Killed Kuiil. Killed countless of women on Ryndellia. Killed the only chance Din would ever have at being anything close to normal and happy and good. Killed her.
And he doesn’t care about her, the stabbing pain in the back of his mind ensures that. He would kill her himself if given the chance, and perhaps that is where the anger stems. That she had gone before he could have a proper go. A final fight, final blows, final argument filled with expletives and statements neither of them truly mean. A final storm out of each others lives. A final sunrise and a final night. A final moment to say I’m sorry. Please come back, it won’t happen again.
A final moment to know it absolutely will.
The Mandalorian will never have himself again. And somewhere deep down Din knows the blame can’t all fall to Gideon. Because they are who they are, and man is flawed even when carved by the hands of gods.
But being who he is means an unchanging stubbornness and penetrative anger. He cannot change now when the purpose is removed.
He wants to kill Gideon.
And he will or—he would.
Divine intervention continues to be a foreign concept despite it’s persistence in his life.
Moff Gideon’s communicator shrills with life. Men on the other line shout in broken desperation. “Sir! Sir, she’s gone wild—won’t—stop!—the whole ship—looking for—thirteen—need to evacuate!”
And Gideon… Gideon looks as though he has never experienced fear in his life until this moment. He is not, Din comes to realize, afraid of dying. That portion of battle came expected. No, what he is truly afraid of is whatever lays behind that communicator.
Death seems to be his only escape.
And so Din decides.
He decides to force Gideon to live.
---
The apocalypse of the Sith had at long last come. Or, so it would seem. Outside of the laboratory, doors open to a new world. Pieces of the wall are torn off their holdings and crashed into another. Shafts are shredded, pipes leaking. Overhead lighting is blown out, shattered glass insult to injury.
It is an abomination.
Stormtroopers are in worse shape than Elysium Hortus, were that at all possible. Dismemberment, blood, burnt flesh, and crushed bone. The first thing Din steps on is a lone hand.
Had he been too lost in his own skirmish to be deaf to the destruction? Surely the battle did not occur without fight. Whoever, whatever is the origin of this sweeping death could not have done so in secrecy. And yet—
The path leads two ways: Down the blackened road to the right, or towards the light and untouched territory. Runi kar’tayl dictates Din Djarin go right, every string of his joints tug in the direction. But he has grown a habit of no longer listening and remains statued.
Gideon pulls at the ropes tied around his arms. For the first time in his life, he is horrified. “Gods,” he swears.
The Mandalorian shoves him forward, almost tripping the Imperial on a fallen pipe. “Quiet.”
“You should have killed me.”
“You’d be so lucky.”
“You won’t make it either. None of you will. We’re all dead, she’ll never stop now.”
This grants the Mandalorian pause. He turns Gideon a sharp degree to face. The old man groans. “Who? Who did this?”
And the old man shakes his head, a sinister smirk growing. One having long accepted the power of death with warm embrace. Like his final twist of fury and demonic faith has at long last come to fruition. “Should you have a god, I recommend you pray. What is it your people say? Haran eyaytyc at droten.”
Hell is upon man.
--------
Translations:
Ni gana kil'yc ca'nara - I have no time
Runi kar’tayl - Soul awareness
Haran eyaytyc at droten- Hell is upon man (lit. Hell escaped to the people)
---
Chapter Thirty-Six: Pandemonium
Taglist: @lexloon @jay-bel @xsadderdazeforeverx @spideysimpossiblegirl @sarahjkl82-blog @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @hello-th3r3
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color theory - original fiction
I’ve improved a LOT LOT LOT with writing over the last few years with writing. I placed one of my character focused pieces under the cut, so if you wanna read a one shot horror romance that still needs a tiny touch up but that I’m overall happy w, then please give it a look see
tw for horror elements, religious trauma, minor gore mentions, violence
In childhood, my father and step-mother dressed my sister and I in white and soft blues, the colors of robin’s eggs and forget-me-not flowers and the portraits of Christ’s mother Mary in church. They were the colors of purity, chastity, and virtue, our father said. Grown women in the congregation were allowed pastels of other hues and pretty jewelry and hats adorned with beads and feathers, but the daughters of the pastor? Only the colors of the Lord and His mother were suitable for us. Couldn’t have anyone thinking we slipped or were too full of ourselves, not even when my own existence was proof of our father’s sins.
That was my mother’s fault though; the congregation and my step-mother had decided that a long time ago. My mother was the temptress, the harlot, the agent of Satan sent to pull down their beloved shepherd. After all, she wore red.
The problem with white was how easily it stained in comparison. But that was always the point, wasn’t it?
Kept us in the pews after the service was over, away from the boys outdoors, playing rough and tumble in the grass. Their mother’s chastisements were of fond annoyance, focused on laundry later rather than the appearance of impropriety. Boys will be boys, their fathers said. They’d say that again many times, for many of them, for far more than tackle football over the years to come. I didn’t know that at the time though.
All I knew was that the crinoline itched, and my hands stung when my step-mother would smack my hands away from picking at the eyelet lace out of boredom. I knew the sound that patent shoe leather made when rubbed together wrong was like a frog, but that if you did it even accidentally, people would stare at you from round the room almost like you just cursed. And I knew that even through the too hot layers of dress and pantyhose, if I dared take a fan from the back of the pew in front of me, I’d get thwacked with a hymnal.
One Sunday, when my hands stung and the ceiling fans weren’t working, the tray of communion cups passed by me. I reached up with sweaty hands to steady it on its way to my step-mother. My brother’s mind was wandering then, and his eyes too, toward Anayah Kingston. His hands slipped. Mine slipped too from the sudden and unexpected weight of the so-called blood of Christ in my clammy hands. Dozens of small plastic cups emptied onto me, soaking through the delicate white cotton of the dress I’d been shoved into that morning. Gasps rose from around the congregation, as the metal tray clattered on the floor.
For once, I wore red.
My father waved it off with a joke.
“Well, we always say we want our children washed in the blood of the lamb early,” he’d laughed, allowing the tension to ease by turning me into the butt of a joke instead of a symbol of anything too deep. I’m not sure, in retrospect, if it was better or worse. I just remember the sting of the wine in my eyes welling up tears that I wouldn’t admit for years were from embarrassment.
I locked myself in the cramped church bathroom. No one came and got me till an hour after service.
I couldn’t get the red stains out, no matter what I did.
——————————————-
When I moved in with my uncle, he threw away the pastel dresses that had been soaked too many times in cold water and peroxide after my father went on one of his drunken religion-fueled rages. He told me I was too pretty to be washed out like that, and he gave me some of my grandmother’s things until he could go buy more appropriate clothes for a teenage girl. My grandmother was a petite woman though, and they fit and….
They were purple. Orange. Green. They had patterns, some floral, some geometric, some brightly African-inspired that she’d bought when visiting her family in New Orleans, where I lived now. Even though I know now that I looked like exactly what I was–a girl in her grandmother’s clothes–I felt incredible. Different. Free.
My uncle liked seeing that enough that he made sure the clothes he bought me were bright too. My father had always said that bright clothes like that brought the wrong sort of attention, but I didn’t care about that. I’d already learned that it didn’t matter what I wore; puberty had taken away any ability or hope I may have had to hide from men.
I’d take joy where I could find it.
The man’s favorite color was purple, he’d slurred that day, as I walked home from my uncle’s shop on Magazine Street. It was far too early for anyone to be that drunk, especially some random white man in a business suit, and my nose stuck up and crinkled in more than just disgust for the smell. He didn’t like that. I didn’t care. Still don’t, but…I probably should have made it less obvious.
The same purple would blossom on the side of my face where he hit me. On my arm, where he tried to drag me down an alley. I remembered the whispered advice of my uncle’s friends, middle aged women and older fem queens who’d all been through the ringer life put them through at one point or another. I grabbed at my keys and jabbed blindly at his face.
Blood and white fluid blossomed from his eye like an amaryllis in full bloom. The hand that had gripped on my arm reflexively released to try to staunch the flow and save his eye. I still don’t know if it helped.
I ran. I ran all the way back to my uncle’s house, falling over myself and twisting my ankles over and over again in a pathetic effort to escape to the bathroom upstairs. My thumb had slipped up the key and rammed into his eye and the blood was caking and clotting under my nail and and the dark spots were fading to dark brown on the dress and–
I couldn’t get the red stains out, no matter what I did.
Story of my life.
——————————————
Dante was a Nice Young Man from a Nice Family, my aunt had promised me, and I could hear the capital letters in her tone. They had a lovely house and well-secured jobs, and a library of first edition books by authors like W.E.B. DuBois, Booker T. Washington, and other great respectable books by great respectable men.
They had money. And security. And he was a gentleman, even I couldn’t deny that. The absolutely perfect gentleman.
And here I was trying to keep up.
His mother complimented me gently for having nice hair and a pretty face, but in her own way gave her nudges this way and that. Purple changed to black. Blue to gray or navy. Orange to camel brown. Even if I didn’t have much promise for college in sight, I certainly looked enough the part of an Ivy-destined co-ed that no one asked too many questions of what my plans were after high school.
But then neither did Dante. And I think we were both fine with that.
He gave me his class ring more out of perfunctory requirement. I tried to give it back. Despite his parents’ having more than enough to replace it, I knew the value of it and didn’t want it hanging over my head, even though I knew he wasn’t the type to call in the debt.
He refused to take it back. I let the ruby and white gold ring hang around my neck on a chain for a few weeks before I received a politely typed letter on Duke University stationery announcing our break up. I quietly held the ring for a little bit before putting it back in a box in the back of a drawer.
Red stains in different ways.
————————————–
If I said it was love at first sight with Aleksander it would be a lie. After a short sharp series of unfortunate attempts to date boys my own age, either just starting their college journeys or wandering shiftless through trades and dead end jobs, I’d given up on finding that mythical spark. But he was attractive, mature, wealthy–
Married, but hey. That didn’t stop my own mother apparently.
But he had a radiating charm about him that I soon fell for, like an idiot girl. He spoke of his wife as if he wanted to leave her and take their children, but never promised that. He hadn’t promised me anything.
Not until later.
I would catch glimpses of his eyes sometimes in private, a sharp steel blue focused on something far off and unreal. His hands would flex and his jaw would tighten. I’d put my hands on his, the contrast between us less apparent in the low lighting.
One night, I noticed red under his fingernails.
I don’t know what motivated me to follow him the night I did. We’d had such a good arrangement, even though I knew the feelings I had caught went well beyond the limits of what either of us had planned. He didn’t owe me anything, and I knew there was a possibility there was another “someone else.” I don’t even think I cared then if there was.
Something just…called to me.
The barn in the woods was worn down, and it took far too long for me to make it there through the underbrush even in tennis shoes and the low light of sundown. I don’t know what I expected from the place. Maybe an isolated tryst or even a drug deal? I know he looked in pain a lot of times, though I assumed someone of his means could more easily bribe a doctor for something to take care of that without a prescription on the books.
The back door was held together poorly. Not really locked. It only took a push.
I smelled the blood before I saw him. The sad pathetic pile of a man was barely clinging to life. He looked up at me, reaching out pathetically as if I was his angel of salvation, as if I could do anything to save him at this point. His intestines were in a pulled out pile around him, loosely coiled and tangled like a copperhead in rigor.
The other door cracked open, and I ran. I ran and stumbled and scratched my way through the woods till I made it back to the car Aleksander had helped me pay for, and from there, I drove my ass right back to my apartment and–
I didn’t make it in before I threw up by the parking lot dumpster.
Instinct took over from that point. I went to the apartment. I took a bath, careful to wash around the scratches and cuts I’d gotten from running through the woods without looking. I washed off my makeup, and considered getting my hair braided again to hide the evidence of any contact with nature.
I tried to ignore a lot of things. I tried to ignore the still burning nausea in my stomach, the sharp pain of a finger tip where an acrylic had ripped off, the still strong smell of iron and filth lodged in my nose.
I tried to ignore the blue-lined white stick I knew was hiding in the trash, mocking me since before I tried to follow Aleksander.
The door unlocked, which I couldn’t ignore. Only he had the key. My hands paused from trying to rebraid my hair into two long pigtails, instead fidgeting on my lap. He slipped in and sat on the edge of the tub, looking up at me as I stared blankly at the vanity.
Neither of us said anything for several very long moments.
He stood behind me after too many, too long beats of silence, towering over me. Part of me wanted to brace for something, some sort of impact, but I couldn’t bring myself too. I was too tired and too young to be so tired. Too smart for this yet too foolish to have steered away.
“Close your eyes.”
And like the fool in love who knew too much, yet had so little, I did.
The necklace slipped over my head and around my hair and laid on my neck like a whispered promise. Six stones red as pomegranate seeds, lying in succession, trickling down my chest like blood droplets.
“A replacement, until I can find a ring,” he said, though what he didn’t say rang through the words just as strongly. ‘I saw you. You know me now. Please don’t leave.’
“It’s beautiful.”
I don’t know why I said that instead of a wealth of other things. Other questions. Screams or demands to leave. The image of the dying man was fading far too quickly from my mind in place of the familiar and now far-more-possible dream of bridal gowns and wedding planning.
My eyes darted to the trash can. The stones glittered under the vanity lights.
I couldn’t get the red stains out, no matter what I did. Not for my whole life.
“I’ll make sure the ring matches. The color suits you.”
I take a deep breath and sigh.
“Red always has.”
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