#h.i.m. dark light

[iamtryingtobelieve]

We disappear in the lie forever

And denounce the power of death over our souls

As secret words are said to start a war

[vmiuchi]

[valos-venus-doom]

"I'm drained but aching for more."

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

What if Bam and fem reader made a sex tape like the shitty one he made with Jenn. Maybe it would be a little better in quality lol, “but babe, it’s art”

Kinky Dealbreakers

Y/N and Bam make a home movie ;)

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

1.1k Words

Warnings: Very suggestive content, accidental voyeurism, mention of sex toys, crude language

An: Thank you for this request!! Apologies for taking a bit of a break but I’m back and better than ever! XD I have yet to stumble upon actual footage of these sex tapes, but from what I’ve heard about them online I hope to keep it that way! Anyways, please keep sending in requests!

Neither you nor Bam were really paying attention to the tv as the two of you laid on the couch together, the only light in the room coming from the screen cascading over you. Laying against his warm chest, you lazily traced the dark, swirling ink of the heartagram tattoo on his lower stomach, humming softly to yourself. He watched you through half lidded eyes, running a hand through your hair affectionately. Bam suddenly broke the hour’s long silence, startling you a little, “Hey, Y/N.” You jumped, but after you caught your breath, you could pick up on a hint of mischief in his voice as your boyfriend continued, “I’ve been thinkin’ about somethin…” Consider your curiosity piqued, “What?” Glancing up at him, you saw a little glimmer in his eye as he turned to get a little close to you, his voice almost a whisper. “Wanna make a sex tape?”

And boy, were you paying attention now. Of course, you weren’t surprised- Bam had made a handful of pornos before so it was only a matter of time he asked you to do one. Honestly, you’d be all gung-ho to hop in front of the camera with him if it wasn’t for one thing- all of them were god awful. He could sense your apprehension and, reading your mind, he reached a hand down, speaking softly as he held your cheek and reassured you, “C’mon…you’re way prettier than those other chicks. Besides, nobody but us is gonna see it.” Your eyes met his cautiously, “Really? None of your idiot friends?” Bam chuckled, “Of course.” His hand returned to your hair, gently massaging your scalp, “Don’t worry, babe. This is gonna be a work of art.”

“But,” You stipulated, “I have some rules.” Your boyfriend shrugged, apparently very pleased at himself from the grin plastered on his face. He did a ‘lay it on me’ gesture with one hand, “Alright, lemme hear ‘em.” After thinking for a moment, you held up a finger and began, “One: You can’t slap my ass.” As the words fell from your lips, a grin spread across your face as your boyfriend groaned, his head falling to one side as he nodded. You were very pleased at how much power you held over him, “Two- and I cannot stress this enough- this is gonna be seen by nobody but us, understand? I don't want us screwing to end up as a DVD extra.”

He nodded, “Okay, okay- got it. Listen, I've already got everything all planned out, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.” You felt his hand stroking your back, his palm feeling so warm on your skin. Bam leaned closer to you, so near that you could feel the warmth of his breath on your ear as he spoke into your ear, his words slow and filled with intention, “Nothin’ too fancy- just you and me on the bed…little touching, little making out…some nipple clamps-“ You stopped him there, “Okay, third thing! No kinky shit like- like nipple clamps!”

Of course, after all the fun is over, that just leaves the work in the editing room, which was, more often than not, very tedious. For example, the two of you had spent the past twenty arguing over what song would be in the background. Predictably, Bam wanted to go with a H.I.M song, which you shut down because A, all his other pornos had H.I.M songs in the background and B, your idea was leagues better. “Come on, Bam!” You pleaded, holding out the Rammstein CD to him, “Rein Raus is perfect for this! I mean- are you even listening to me?” He groaned in response, still hunched over his computer. Fingers clicking away, the blue tinted screen glowed against his pale skin as he replied, not even turning to look at you, “C’mon. It’s not that deep, babe.”

“Yeah?” You scoffed, “Well you’re not the one showin’ off their tits, Mr. Blur-My-Dick!” He was caught off guard, his fingers stilling on the keyboard as his eyes went wide. After a bit, he sighed and held his hand out, “You got me there…” You giggled to yourself, handing him the disc. Curriously, you peered at the screen as he worked “Almost done?” Bam nodded as he slipped the disc into one of the many computer apparatuses that littered his desk. It was a wonder he knew what anything was amongst the winding tangle of wires and ports. There were two gray computers that each weighed at least forty pounds a piece, not to mention the thick, silver tv monster on one table he usually used to review footage. This was what you were staring at when you caught something out of the corner of your eye. Squinting in the low light, you didn’t believe what you thought you saw in the window. “What the fuck…?”

Bam looked over your shoulder, his eyes going wide, “Fucking Dico!” Before you knew it, his silver flip phone was already opened and turned to speaker. Luckily, the man on the other line picked up fast, “Oh, hey dude.” Bam barely gave him time to get those words out, leaning back in his chair, “Dude, what the fuck! I’m- im making this video,” He looked over at you as he phrased it carefully, “an’im watching the thing back, and you’re in the fuckin’ background!” Dico chuckled and you could practically see that dorky grin on his face through the phone, “Oh, you mean Saturday?” Yep, he knew. Your boyfriend’s eyes shot back to the monitor, his brow furrowing, “Yes, Saturday! What the hell were you doing?!” He glared down at the phone as if was really in the same room with him as he listened to the explanation, “Well, you weren’t picking up your phone, so I came over- but you weren’t opening the door either, so I went to check the window!” Shaking his head, Bam sighed, exasperated, “Fine..how long were you there for?” Dico seemed unbothered, shrugging, “Only a couple minutes.”

After a long silence from you, you felt compelled to speak, leaning closer to Bam’s phone, “Yeah, I can see you were there for a couple minutes! Your ugly fuckin’ mug’s right there!” A laugh echoed through the tinny speakers of the flip phone. You were about to tell him how not funny this was. Dico spoke first, trying to fix the situation in a very Dico way, “C,mon, it’s fine! Don’t worry about it! Hell, if you really want, you two could always just shoot another one!”

[karlkaufmanph]

Our neighborhood can be creepy sometimes.

Or perhaps I'm just hungover from THE SUBSTANCE and MAXXXINE, two horror movies I saw over the weekend. No ghosts and weird cries in the night in those movies though, just glitz, glamor and gore. Pretty girls, also. Sitting through THE SUBSTANCE I was vacillating from "ooohhh" to "eeeww" with every scene. It was craaaazy.

My Letterboxd here.

🎧 H.I.M. - Dark Light (2005)

[observernumber5]

Forever we are…

[gothicnymphe]

In oblivion's garden

Her body's on fire

Writhing towards the angel defiled

To learn how to die

In peace with her God

(I swear to God Ville was spying on me when he wrote this song cause omg it describes my freaking life)

[ramblinguitar]

Ville Valo of HIM (Credit : Perou)

[weirdlynottalkedabout]

if the entirety of the Dark Light record by HIM doesn't make you cry, you're a liar.

[lapescatricediasterischi]

I see the seasons changing and in the heart of this autumn I fall with the leaves from the trees.

H.I.M., Play Dead (2005)

[deadtothebones]

If you go to behindthecrimsondoor.com and click the image it downloads three songs from dark light!!

[diegoddita]

H.I.M. FANS

Go HERE to download some new tracks, kindly available to celebrate 15 years of Dark Light.

[delightful-goth]

[valos-venus-doom]

(Found on Reddit)

And of course the red-headed stepchild of the HIM albums, Deep Shadows & Brilliant Highlights, is not included 😂💀

[uhohwhathaveidone]

hii I honestly really love your works and i really wanna read my imagination on a fanfic. So what if the reader just sleeps on sebastians bed, like they just returned after a long adventure then they had to research some of the stuff they found yada yada then the reader (fem if possible) just lays on his bed for a break but ends up sleeping there, next day she walks around hogwarts with sebastians smell and everyone just assumed they did the :)))) mc being flustered mess and tries to deny every accusations but sebastian just stands there smirking watching everything unfold.

dont ask why mc didn't shower (for story purposes pls)

Your wish is my command!

Not Helping (S.S)

I'm glad you enjoy! I might be posting the next fic a little late tomorrow, just so we know! Also, I put the reader into Slytherin, so she didn't have to sneak in, and also because Imelda needed a reason to embarrass the reader. Remember when Ominis spoke about having a toad? He's in here, like a little alarm clock <3 He's also tired of Sebastian, like always. Spot the fourth wall break too, here's a hint, it's not someone speaking, technically. I made a joke at myself lmao. Anyway, enjoy <3 (i listened to H.I.M the whole time i was writing)

      You waved your hand, gesturing Sebastian to follow you as you crouched behind a table. He quickly tiptoed over to you, handing you the book he had snatched from one of the library’s shelves, smiling as you put it into your bag. You looked around as you searched for the door, motioning Sebastian to follow you as you hid behind a shelf. “So far, so good.” Sebastian whispered, smiling. You smiled back as you shook your head. “Don’t jinx it!” He shrugged as he continued to follow you through the maze of tables and shelves of books, checking behind him every now and then to make sure no one spotted the two of you from behind. You stopped, holding your arm out as Sebastian hit it, stopping as you pressed a finger to your lips. He nodded as he ducked lower, following your finger as you pointed to Peeves. The poltergeist floated down a row of shelves across from you, humming to himself. You waited until he had moved somewhere else, tugging on Sebastian’s sleeve as you began your escape again.

      You breathed a sigh of relief as you quietly closed the door behind you, letting a yawn escape you. Sebastian smiled behind you, checking down the hall to see if there was anyone around. “Seems like we’re in the clear, let’s head back to the common room.” He whispered, walking down the hall. You nodded as you followed, reaching into your bag to take a look at the book you had taken. “What are your plans for this one?” You asked, studying the cover. It was about advanced potions, far more advanced than what you were studying now. He shrugged as he slowed down, walking beside you as he looked at the book in your hands. “Might be something of use in there, I didn’t exactly read it before snatching it, you know.” You shook your head as you placed the book back into your bag, yawning again as you turned down to another hall, the Slytherin common room at its end. “What time is it?” You asked, peeking out a window that you walked past. The stars hung in the dark sky, their bright glow unable to light the ground below them as the moon had disappeared, leaving the grounds of the castle invisible. Sebastian shrugged. “I didn’t take a look at the clock either, if that’s what you were hoping for.” You yawned again, watching Sebastian smile at you from the corner of your eye.

      “Let’s not have late-night heists in the future, yeah?” You said, walking into the common room. Sebastian scoffed as he followed behind you, stretching his arms. “It can’t be that late. Perhaps you should get more sleep.” You shook your head as you walked over to the clock. “I would, if you stopped dragging me along to do Merlin knows.” You squinted at the clock, the room was dark, only a single fire in a hearth emitting light. You sighed as you brought your wand out, casting Lumos as you went back to studying the clock. “Sebastian!” You hissed, narrowing your eyes at him as he raised his hands in defense. “It’s past midnight! We have class in the morning, as we had Ominis promise to wait for us so he could find out what was in the book!” Sebastian walked over, grabbing your shoulder as he inspected the clock himself. “That can’t be right, we didn’t spend that much time there, did we?” You shook your head, sighing as you moved to make your way to Ominis’ and Sebastian’s dorm. “It doesn’t matter anymore, let’s brief Ominis and get to bed.” “Yes Ma’am.”

      Ominis let out a frustrated sigh as the two of you walked into the room, arms crossed as he sat on his bed. “Took you two long enough, I figured you had gotten caught with how long you were gone.” He said, turning to the door. “Apologies, Ominis. Sebastian couldn’t figure out which book to pick.” You said, dropping your bag as you flopped onto Sebastian’s bed. Sebastian scoffed, reaching into your bag and pulling out the potions book, sitting down next to you as he flipped through the pages. “If you hadn’t been so scared of being caught, we would have been out earlier.” You shook your head as you rubbed your eyes. “Whatever you say, Sallow.”  Ominis let out another frustrated sigh as he threw a pillow, missing Sebastian as it hit you in the face. “Ominis! What was that for?” You said, picking up the pillow as you frowned. Ominis let a small smile grace his lips as he bowed his head slightly. “My apologies, I meant to hit Sebastian.” Sebastian, who had been quietly chuckling, quickly dropped his smile. “Hey! What did I do?” Ominis shrugged, accepting the pillow back from you as you walked back to Sebastian’s bed. “Just read something from the book, I want to go to bed soon.” You nodded in agreement, moving to the head of the bed and hiding under the covers as Sebastian flipped through the pages.

      “It says here, one of the most effective anti-venoms is the Draught of Living Death Antidote. This potion is particularly useful in countering the effects of the Draught of Living Death, a powerful sleeping potion that can render a person unconscious for days or even weeks.” Sebastian read, skimming down the page. You huffed in amusement, closing your eyes as you pulled the covers closer. “I could use one of those.” “The antidote or the potion itself?” “Both.” Ominis chuckled as he shook his head, hearing the slightly groggy tone in your voice as you tried to hide another yawn. Sebastian sighed, flipping through the pages. “Polyjuice potion, Wolfsbane, we’re not Werewolves, so we don’t need that.” You sighed as he continued to talk, shutting your eyes as the warm blankets beckoned you to sleep. “Ah, here’s one.” Sebastian said, reading from another page. “The Draught of Peace, a powerful calming potion that can ease anxiety and stress.” Ominis sighed, laying his head against his pillow. “Could use that during O.W.Ls, if you needed it.” Sebastian nodded, reading further. “Except there’s a problem.” “What’s that?” “The potion requires a careful balance of ingredients, including powdered moonstone, syrup of hellebore, and a measure of powdered unicorn horn. What even is a hellebore?” Ominis shrugged, covering his mouth as a yawn escaped him. “Y/n, would you be able to ask Poppy what that is?” Sebastian asked, turning to you.

      Soft snores escaped you as you laid in the bed, asleep. Sebastian frowned as he moved to look at your face, scrunching his nose in confusion. “How can you be asleep during this? This is good information!” You still didn’t respond, instead turning over in your sleep as you tried to get comfortable. “Ominis, she’s asleep! I haven’t even gotten far in the book yet.” Sebastian complained, watching Ominis as he too slipped under the covers. “I’m glad one of us is asleep. Perhaps we should pick this up later?” Sebastian scoffed, frowning as Ominis turned away from him. Sighing, he put the book back into your bag and looked over to you, unsure what to do. He couldn’t just kick you out of his bed and send you off to your own; not when you were already asleep. He bit the inside of his cheek as he furrowed his brows, slowly reaching his hand out to shake you awake.

      You glared at him through heavy eyes, sniffling as you tried to bury your face into the blankets. Sebastian smiled softly as he leaned over to whisper to you. “I won’t make you leave, but could you perhaps move over? This is still my bed, you know.” You stared at him, pondering his request. You shivered slightly as you shrugged, scooting over for Sebastian as he slipped under the covers. You closed your eyes again as you shivered, biting the inside of your cheeks as you quickly moved closer to Sebastian, burying your face into his shoulder as you tried to get warm. “You can’t be that cold.” He whispered, smirking at you. You huffed in response, beginning to move away from him before he rolled over, wrapping his arms around you. “Don’t need you freezing.” You hummed quietly, nuzzling your face into his chest as you fell back asleep; warm and comfortable.

      Sebastian slowly opened his eyes as sunlight poured through a window, yawning as he tried to blink away the sleep from his eyes. The room was quiet, save for the small snores escaping you and Ominis. Sebastian burrowed his face into your hair, finding you turned over with your back against him. He looked over at a nearby clock, squinting as he tried to read the time. You had about an hour until classes started. He pulled you closer as he stretched, squeezing you in an attempt to wake you. You groaned as you straightened your arms, a small yawn escaping you as you tried to go back to sleep. “It’s time to get up, we have classes soon.” He whispered, poking you in the cheek with his free hand. You shook your head, another yawn leaving you. “Not right now, perhaps a few more minutes.” You sighed, rolling over and burying your face into Sebastian again, hiding away from the light. Sebastian shook his head, looking over to where Ominis slept, light snores emerging from the bundle of blankets. “Fine, since we’re all still in bed, a few more minutes.” He sighed, closing his eyes as he tightened his arms around you.

      Ominis shook Sebastian awake as he tried to fix his tie, waking both of you up as he shouted. “Get up! I can’t believe you, keeping us up so late and not even having the courtesy to wake us up on time!” You sniffled, sitting up as you rubbed your eyes. “Ominis? What time is it?” Ominis sighed as he reached for his bag. “Late! We’d be lucky if we made it to class!” You looked over at the clock, quickly jumping out of bed and searching for your shoes and bag. Sebastian sat there, confused. “How do you know what time it is?” Ominis glared in his direction, scoffing. “In case you hadn’t noticed, my toad likes to have his own schedule. He’s been croaking for food for maybe ten minutes, and I always feed him right before we leave.” You smiled as you hopped around, trying to get your other shoe on. “I don’t have time for anything! No shower, no breakfast! Sebastian! Get up!” You shouted, almost falling over. He nodded quickly, slipping out of bed, and looking around. “I slept in my robes? I suppose I don’t have to worry about that then.” He said to himself, shrugging as he went for his shoes. You quickly slipped your bag over your shoulder, tapping your foot as you and Ominis waited at the door. “I’m coming, hold on!” Sebastian sighed, rubbing his eyes as he picked up his own bag, walking over to you.

      You quickly walked down the halls as you made your way to charms, following Ominis as he muttered to himself about Sebastian and his need to do things at such late hours. He quickly slipped into the classroom ahead, and you looked over to Sebastian as he yawned again. “Wait!” You whispered, grabbing his sleeve as you pulled him away from the door. “Can’t it wait? We’re right there.” He sighed, watching as you set your bag down. “Your tie! It’s a mess!” You said, quickly fixing it as you bit the inside of your cheek. Sebastian stiffened up, eyes wide as he watched you smooth out his robes and tie before nodding and pulling him into the classroom. You quickly took your seat next to Natty, smiling as she greeted you. Professor Ronen appeared just moments later, signaling the start of class.

      You sighed as you rested your head in your palm, holding back a yawn as you ate. Sebastian sat beside you, picking at his food as he glanced over at you, smirking as you shivered. “Getting a cold?” He asked, causing you to furrow your brows as you looked over at him. “Beg your pardon?” He chuckled as he poked your side. “You were awfully cuddly last night, shivering and all that. I’m not a doctor, but if you got me sick, I would make sure you suffered with me.” You shook your head, grabbing your drink and taking a sip. “So that’s where you were last night!” A voice sounded behind you, causing you to choke on your drink in surprise. Coughing, you turned around, frowning. “Imelda? What are you talking about?” Imelda looked between you and Sebastian, smirking. “When you passed by on your way to one of your classes, you smelled an awful lot like your friend here.” She said, gesturing to Sebastian. “Sebastian here has a distinct smell, like some sort of potion that he bathes in. Stinks up the whole common room, he does.” Sebastian frowned as he turned to Imelda. “I do not stink! I just naturally smell this nice.” Imelda shook her head, turning to you as she poked you in the chest. “You smell just like him, you know. Didn’t smell like that yesterday.” You felt your cheeks heat up as you glanced around, your fellow housemates nodding in agreement with Imelda. “I still don’t understand, Imelda.” You said, shaking your head as you looked up at her. Imelda held her smile as she leaned closer to you. “You didn’t come back to the dorm last night; your bed was still empty this morning.” You heated up more as your eyes widened. You hadn’t thought about what Imelda and your other dormmates would think if you didn’t show up in your bed, and now it was coming back to bite you.

      “What are you implying, then?” You asked, narrowing your eyes. Imelda shrugged nonchalantly, smirking down at you as she gestured to Sebastian. “What else is there to imply? Such a scandalous girl, you are. You’re not good at hiding it either.” Your eyes widened as your breath got caught in your chest, cheeks turning a bright red. “Imelda! That’s absolutely not what happened!” You shouted, shaking your head frantically. “Oh yeah? Then what else could it be? Because people don’t just smell like other people for no reason you know. Nor do they cuddle at night.” You stuttered as you tried to explain, looking over at Sebastian as he smirked into his drink. “We did not- why would you even suggest that? I only fell asleep while hanging out! It was nothing like that!” You smacked Sebastian’s shoulder, motioning for him to explain. He only shrugged, smirking. “You snore a lot, you know.” “That’s not helping, Sebastian!” Imelda smirked as you continued to stutter, crossing her arms as she nodded toward Sebastian. “Someone’s not denying it, so what’s your next excuse?” You frowned at Imelda, heart racing as you tried to clear up the misunderstanding. “Ominis was there! He was hanging out with us!” You said, pointing over to Ominis.

      Ominis nodded as he chewed his food. “She’s right. We were looking at a book, Sebastian decided that he wanted to stay up late. She fell asleep first.” Imelda quirked an eyebrow, smirking at you. “Couldn’t do it with your friend around? Sorry Ominis, but there’s no other explanation. Perhaps you were fast asleep?” Ominis scoffed as he shook his head. “As if. Sebastian fell asleep before I did. You think something like that would happen right next to me? I’d hex both of them.” You nodded your head as you shared an awkward smile. “See? Nothing happened! Mind out of the gutter, Imelda!” She shook her head as she patted your shoulder. She leaned down and whispered into your ear, poking your side. “You’ll need a better excuse next time. I expect you back tonight to tell us all about it.” She walked away, leaving you with your mouth open as you tried to comprehend what had just happened.

      “Sebastian! Look what you’ve done!” You whispered, swatting at his shoulder as he went for another bite of his lunch. He shrugged as he looked over at you. “I didn’t do anything.” “Exactly!” Ominis shook his head as he took a sip of his drink. “I mean it, you two.” Sebastian frowned, furrowing his eyebrows as he turned to Ominis. “Mean what, exactly?” “That I’ll hex you both if you tried something like that near me. My toad could use some friends.” “That’s not going to happen, Ominis!” “Not yet.” “Shut! Up! Sebastian!”

[observernumber5]

I stay dead