#had to go home early and miss a class 🥹

[manjiroscum]

im alive └⁠|⁠∵⁠|⁠┐⁠♪

[lavendertom]

The Neighbor Across the Street pt. 5

Mike Schmidt x Babysitter!f!Reader

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 6

wc: 3.6k

warnings: angst, little bit sad (if y’all can stick thru this ONE part 🫶), fluff sprinkled in some parts (as always, lmk if there’s anything i’ve missed)

summary: the neighbor across the street needs a babysitter, so you take the job, not knowing what’s in store for you as you grow closer to the siblings. AU where nothing bad ever happens at the pizzeria.

A/N: this is gonna be the “hard” chapter, but it’ll all be worth it for part 6, the official finale of the series 🥹 no worries tho, i still plan on expanding the story once it’s over!!!

——————————————————————————

You could barely focus in any of your classes today. Your mind was full of thoughts about one person and one person only: Mike. All of the things that happened in such a short amount of time were eating you alive. You couldn’t take any of it anymore. In a way, you wished Abby hadn’t told you about her secret. You didn’t want something as silly as a “crush” to get in the way of your goal of keeping Abby and Mike happy.

As you drove home from your classes, you didn’t know what to expect that evening. You knew he probably wanted to clear up whatever had happened the other evening. Maybe he just wanted to tell you he was sorry for not paying you again. But then why did he want you there an hour early? What on earth could he want to talk about for a whole hour with you?

You only ever had two serious conversations with him in the two months or so of knowing him, the one the first night shift of babysitting Abby and during your walk with him just a few days ago.

There was that voice, all the way at the back of your head, that was telling you something completely different. There was a voice that was saying this had to do with Abby’s secret. You attempted to quickly get it out of your head, your hands getting sweaty at the thought as you continued driving home. You hated to admit this was making you more nervous than it should’ve been.

The thought of him waiting at his door until you got home crept into your head once more. The way he saw how you looked back one last time like you’d done every time before. How often did he wait at the door like that? Did he genuinely care about you that much to wait?

When you got home you had an hour until you knew you’d have to be at Mike’s house. Of course today was one of those days where your professors just knew you were having an off day and assigned what felt like 10x more work than usual. You hesitantly took out all of your textbooks and notebooks in an attempt to knock out a few assignments before you left.

As you sat down, something hanging on the headboard of your bed caught your attention. The black hoodie Mike had lent you was there. You truly intended on giving it back to him yesterday since you’d accidentally wore it home the other night. Whether you forgot it by chance or on purpose you couldn’t even remember anymore.

It sat there like a painful reminder of not knowing what was to come later. He said it wasn’t anything bad, but maybe he just didn’t want to stress you out. What if he had to quit the night job, therefore leaving you jobless? You didn’t want to leave them hanging. You didn’t care if you were getting paid consistently or not. You just wanted to be there for them. That was all that mattered to you now.

You continued to sit there, looking at the hoodie, thoughts racing through your mind with no signs of stopping. The textbooks and notebooks all over your desk were never opened, you didn’t have the energy now at least. Not when your leg wouldn’t stop bouncing and stomach was twisted into knots. You kept telling yourself “It’s just your imagination, everything is fine. Everything will be okay.” It was already almost time for you to go, so you threw all the books back into your bag, grabbed the hoodie, and made your way over.

The feelings were mutual back at Mike’s house. Mike wasn’t sure why he felt so anxious about having to talk to you. It really wasn’t a big deal at all. He just wanted to clear up last night and, well, some other things too. He was just as scared of the unknown as you were. The kitchen smelled like pasta cooking as he tried his best to distract himself by making Abby’s dinner. Just incase the conversation went really bad and you didn’t want to stay. Not that he was anticipating that it would go badly.

He stirred the spaghetti as the water bubbled, focusing as best he could on everything but his thoughts.

“Mike why are you making dinner tonight?” Abby interrupted standing by the fridge.

“Thought I’d give Y/n a break for one night.” he said, still looking down at the pot of boiling water.

“She makes it so much better than you do though.” Abby started whining.

“Beggars can’t be choosers Abs.” he said with a sigh.

“What does that mean?” Abby said with a confused tone to her voice.

“Life’s not fair, that’s what it means. You either eat my pasta or nothing.”

He could practically hear the girl roll her eyes in response.

“Well, I’m not hungry right now.”

Now she’s just being a smart ass, Mike thought to himself.

“Good thing Y/n can warm it up for you later when I’m gone.”

“I don’t want to eat it later though. It’s gonna be gross later.” she crossed her arms now, she knew what she was doing.

“Well you’re either gonna eat it now, later, or never. This is what you’re getting for dinner.” Mike was getting more impatient with her sudden attitude.

“Your pasta is gross Mike I’m not eating it.”

“Whatever. I don’t care anymore, don’t eat it.” Way to ruin this evening Abby.

“Why do you have to be so-“

“Abby, just stop! I’m not having this today. Go to your room.” he didn’t realize how much he rose his voice at her. Arguing wasn’t uncommon for them, but he rarely, if ever, rose his voice this much at her. He looked back at her, the young girls eyes were welling with small tears. This evening already wasn’t going as planned and Y/n hadn’t even arrived yet.

“I hate you Mike!” Abby shouted before running to her room, slamming the door shut.

Mike took a deep breath, putting a hand over his face. Why did he always have to mess everything up? He should’ve never asked Y/n to come over early. If he hadn’t asked, then this situation would’ve never happened. He should’ve just let the situation go. He looked back at the pot of spaghetti, the water still bubbling, finally deciding to shut off the stove.

He looked at the landline phone hanging on the wall beside the fridge. It was almost calling his name to pick it up, dial your number, and tell you not to come by anymore. He stepped forward reaching out a hand to pick up the phone. Just before he could start dialing the numbers he heard a door slowly and quietly open.

He looked at the clock on the stove, quickly realizing what time it was. There was no escaping the situation now, for either of you. He walked out of the kitchen, now in the dining room as he watched you shut the door and set down your backpack.

“Hey.” you said in almost a whisper, your usual smile on your face to hide the nervousness that still lurked deep down.

Just like that, time felt slower than ever before for Mike. Honestly, every time he saw you it began feeling more and more like that. It wasn’t like you tried to dress to impress or anything like that. The only times you had a remotely “nice” outfit on were the first few days of babysitting and extremely occasionally after that. Even then, it was nothing more than a pair of jeans and a somewhat nicer t-shirt or sweater.

Your hair was in a low messy ponytail, loose strands of hair falling out of the scrunchie. You wore a t-shirt with your college’s name plastered across the front and extremely baggy black sweatpants. This was a look that was all too familiar to Mike. The days you wore outfits like this were days that school was beating your ass. Those were the days he’d come home and find you still finishing up work at the dinning room table far too late in the night.

The way that an outfit so simple and, for lack of better terms, lazy, could make Mike feel this way felt like a crime to him. He was convinced that any other outfit imaginable would not compare to this. There was no way to explain this, but this just felt different to him.

Maybe it was because of your determination and drive for success. It was something he didn’t see in himself. Maybe he envied that you had that in you and he didn’t. He saw how hard school was. He saw that no matter how hard it got, you were still there on time every time. He wished so much he had that level dedication in him.

That’s when his eyes turned to your hand. It was holding the black hoodie he let you borrow when you stayed for s’mores. He had honestly forgotten he even gave you it, but now he was wondering why you’d brought it back. He really didn’t mind if you’d kept it. Now thinking about it, he wanted you to keep it.

“You didn’t have to make dinner Mike, you know I’ve got it.” your voice, still quiet making sure Abby wouldn’t hear your presence, broke the thoughts in Mikes head and brought him back to reality.

“Yeah, um, about that…” he began, sighing heavily.

“We need to talk.” you immediately noticed the tension that was now forming.

“Yeah.” he pulled a chair out of the dining table for you, and you both quietly sat down.

You both sat in silence for a minute or so. You waited for him to start talking and you were going to give him as long as he needed to gather his thoughts. You focused on the salt and pepper shakers in the middle of the table.

“I’m sorry.” he finally spoke up.

“Why are you sor-“

“Let me explain before you try telling me I have nothing to be sorry about.” he interrupted, his volume significantly louder than before.

You didn’t say anything back, you were ready to let him say whatever he needed to say because clearly he needed it.

“It’s just-“ he paused again, putting his face into his hands. He took a deep breath attempting to gather his thoughts and emotions before he spoke again. He wasn’t going to let them ruin this conversation.

“I don’t deserve you, Y/n.” you finally looked up. Those incredible brown eyes met yours. They almost appeared to have tears forming in them.

“You do so much for us Y/n. You’re here on time every day, no matter how much you had going on during the day. You’re always willing to do literally anything with Abby. All of the dumb things I’ve said no to her about, you’ve said yes. You’re the mother figure she never had. She doesn’t act the same way around me as she does with you. She deserves this so much more than I do. She needs you, Y/n. I don’t deserve any of this. I can rarely pay you on time. I’m putting you in this horrendous situation where you go to class every day, then you come home for 2 hours max and babysit for the entire night. You’re working literally 2 jobs and you didn’t even want this. I accidentally threw you into it, you should’ve just not taken it. It’s not fair. And yesterday when I stormed out without explaining anything, that wasn’t fair either.”

“Mike-“

“You deserve more Y/n. You deserve the world. You have so much motivation and determination in you it’s actually insane. You’re always smiling, always trying to be kind and helpful. You put others before yourself. I just feel that someone like me, the complete opposite of you, doesn’t deserve to have you in my life. I have not even an ounce of dedication or care inside of me. You don’t deserve to have to put up with all my crap. You just don’t Y/n.” he stopped, still looking you in the eyes.

You really wanted to break down and sob. How could he think he’s worth nothing? How does he not see all the effort and care he puts into taking care of Abby? He’s trying a whole lot harder than other people who have half the worries in life that he has.

“How long have you felt this way?” you said quietly, you knew if you spoke any louder than a whisper you’d start crying.

“Since the moment you first came by to try out the job.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” small, but noticeable tears were now falling down your face. “You’ve felt this way for almost 2 months and you didn’t say a word?”

“Y/n, please don’t-“

“What do you mean ‘please don’t?’ How am I supposed to brush past this knowing you’ve felt like this for 2 months now?” You wiped the tears off of your face.

Mike was now looking down at the table, avoiding your face at all costs. He knew if he saw you that way, it would be over for him. It was never his intention to make you feel this way, he knew you would care, but he didn’t think you’d care this much.

“Mike, look at me right now.”

His eyes hesitantly met yours. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it in your head.

“You are the most thoughtful, caring, most determined person I’ve ever met. You sacrifice so so much for Abby and you don’t even realize it. When I talk to Abby, I hear all about a big brother who pours his heart out just for her to be happy. She is so incredibly lucky to have someone who dedicates so much of his time and energy just to make her happy. You didn’t ask for this and I know you’ve been through hell and back, but you do everything for that girl. No matter how much you think she doesn’t see it, you are genuinely her whole world. I have never, ever, met someone so caring in my life. You don’t have to do any of it, yet you are so selfless that you do it.”

“Then why does she hate me? Why does she always say so much about how great you are and how much she loves your cooking more than mine? Why are we always arguing over the stupidest things?”

“That’s what siblings are for Mike.” you said with an airy laugh through your tears. “After I came over to hearing your argument I went to talk to Abby. She said how she thought you hated her, how you’re always working and never do stuff with her anymore. I told her to look at all of the amazing things you do for her, all of the toys and art supplies she is lucky enough to have. I asked her who gets her all of these things. Who works their ass off for her to have the greatest childhood ever? You do, Mike. She just doesn’t know how to put that into words or actions. We’re gonna work on that though, okay?” you reached across the table to grab his hands and held them in yours.

“You need to give yourself a whole lot more credit. All I want is for you guys to be okay.” you smiled, tears still running down your face. “I just want to help you guys in any way I can. I don’t care how much I get paid or how often I get paid, that doesn’t matter to me anymore Mike. I just want to be there for the two of you.”

After all he said, after his vulnerability showed the underlying jealousy he had for you and your kindness you did it once again. You put others before yourself. He didn’t realize you were not going to give up.

“This is exactly why I don’t deserve you.”

“Quit saying that, you deserve me just as much as Abby does.” you squeezed his hands, reassuringly smiling at him. “You’re not getting rid of me.”

All he really wanted to do in this moment was to get up and kiss you. You believed in Abby, and in him, when you didn’t have to. No one was forcing you to do any of this and to know you were taking it upon yourself from the kindness in your heart made Mike feel even crazier for you. You were one of the first people to show genuine care and love to him and Abby since their parents passed away.

“I love you Y/n.”

Those 4 words came out with no thought, no hesitation, no control. It just felt right.

You were both shocked, yet relieved to hear those words. Your next 4 words didn’t have much thought to them either

“I love you too Mike.” you said, not hesitating either. It didn’t feel forced in the slightest, it felt right for both of you. You honestly couldn’t believe what had just happened and neither could Mike. Neither of you would admit it, but you weren’t even sure what to do next.

“Well it took you guys long enough.” a small voice peeped from behind you.

You turned around to see Abby, standing with her arms crossed, a smug look on her face.

“Abby, how long have you been here?” Mike said, quickly letting go of your hand he still had in his.

“Long enough to hear you and Y/n say you love each other.” she said, smiling wide and giggling. “I am so happy you finally told Y/n you have a crush on her! Or did Y/n tell you she has a crush on you?” her eyes lit up with excitement.

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s what happened but-“

“Oh, he definitely was the one who told me first.” you smirked after interrupting.

“But who decided to hold hands first?” he quickly responded, returning you a small smirk.

Your face began burning up as you buried your face in your hands for a moment, but you also couldn’t help but laugh. Leave it up to Abby to be little miss matchmaker. Of course she’d sneak her way in to finally see her hard work come together. Once Mike realized there was no point in hiding anything anymore, he grabbed your left hand again and held it in his. It felt almost freeing, like a weight was lifted off of him in multiple ways, to be able to hold your hand.

“Also, I’m hungry.” she chimed in quickly, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

You and Mike both looked at each other, knowing that the pasta he attempted to cook was probably off the table now. It was also almost time for Mike to go to work now, which he really didn’t want to do anymore, but there was no other choice.

“I’ll just order you guys a pizza.” he said with a smile, a genuine smile. “Y/n doesn’t need to be cooking for you after this, and I know you won’t eat whatever I can make in 10 minutes Abs.”

Abby began jumping around with pure excitement. Probably a little too excited after just offending Mike’s cooking, but that didn’t matter anymore. As long as she was happy and you were happy, Mike was gonna be happy. He was going to start changing his attitude about everything and he wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else than you. It wasn’t going to be easy, but was gonna try his very best.

“You sure Mike? I don’t mind cooking.” you replied.

“Really Y/n?” he said, sarcastically rolling his eyes.

“Okayyy fineee.” you said holding out the endings extra long, just for dramatic effect.

“Thank you Mike!” the Abby shouted, running up to his chair to give him a hug. Mike smiled at you as the young girl clung onto him.

“Thank you.” he mouthed to you.

You gave him a soft smile in response. You looked down at the black hoodie still in your lap. You brought it in the case he wanted it back, but after the conversation you two just had, there’s a good chance he’d want you to have it. Whether that was his original intention for you to keep it or not, you decided you would keep it. A constant reminder of who you were doing this for. Taking this job, you didn’t know what you were getting yourself in to. You also didn’t know why you were so nervous for this conversation. It couldn’t have gone any better. You were ready to go through whatever hardships and challenges you had to for your two favorite neighbors.

——————————————————————————

A/N: get ready for part 6 hopefully before thanksgiving 🥳🫶 also trust i see all of ur comments and i wish i could reply to ALLL of them, but i don’t wanna flood the comments! sending each and every one of u and virtual hug rn and love! 🫂 if anyone wants a little preview of what’s to come, check out of my first work my favorite prize, those r the vibes i am going for in part 6 🤗

jules jewels (tag list! lmk if u want to be added or removed 🤗)

@balesita @universi8 @browneyedgirly93 @marsmallow433 @prongsprincessworld @ajlareads @k3nnlolz @louweasleymalfoy @chompwoman @wasabidottie @queenie-official @emmaishere432 @curasimp @nevvdrinksteaa @rcailleachcola @scribblesandsherlock @iheartyouyou @prosteticsynthesis @novausstuff @dessxoxsworld @1-akira-2 @starringo @planetevermore @cherriebat @mxrvelouss

[lees-chaotic-brain]

rating things my classmates said/did after my dad died! (feat. class 1-a)

cw: mentions of death obviously, you're a member of class 1-a, crack, hurt/comfort, reader is religiously ambiguous, implied depression ig, some angst but mostly crack

note: guys i swear it's okay to laugh at this! i did!! some may say it's too soon but humor is how i cope and i missed writing so when this little idea invaded my brain while i was rewatching bhna (it's my comfort show) i couldn't resist

blog navigation | bhna masterlist

ochako: “if you believe in heaven i would offer to use my quirk on you so you could float up to heaven and visit your dad but i doubt they'd let you in anyways”

9/10

low key made me giggle

iida overheard and was horrified.

izuku: “i'm so sorry for your loss. if you ever need to talk i’m here. i know it’s not the same at all but my dad wasn’t around while i was growing up so i can kinda understand. not that i’m saying you have to talk to me because of that or that i understand or that we should make a dead/missing dad club oh my god i need to stop talking i’m so sorry i’ll leave you alone now bye please tell me if you need anything!” *scurries away*

11/10

sweet cinnamon roll 🥹

we should fs make a dead/missing dads club

todoroki: “i’m so sorry for your loss. if i could make my father trade places with yours i would do it in a heartbeat. unrelated, i heard you and midoriya are starting a dead/missing dads club. may i join? mine is dead to me.”

8/10

right idea i guess 😭😭

it was going so well during the first sentence too…

ps ofc you can join our club

bakugou: stormed into my room and violently ripped me from my depression burrito and dragged me downstairs to force feed me a warm home cooked meal bc he knew i hadn’t left my bed or eaten in the last 24 hours

6/10

i always knew you cared abt me us blasty 🥹🥰

the food was delicious but plz be more gentle abt it next time king 🙏

mineta: “yo your mom is a total milf.”

numbers don’t go low enough to express my feelings towards this one

like at my father’s funeral?? the AUDACITY

jirou: spent hours searching for a very specific song my dad sang to me when i was little and actually found it bc she found m crying bc i couldn’t find it and i wanted to hear it again

♾️/10

i actually love you so much

you have no idea how much this meant to me ❤️

aoyama: stuffed cheese into my mouth while i was crying in my depression burrito

-3/10

wtf man that was actually more traumatizing

it wasn’t even parmesan or brie

tokoyami: went on a long spiel about how we are all destined for the Great Darkness then abruptly ended by saying he was sorry for my father’s early departure and disappearing back into his room

7/10

i think you were trying to make me feel better so i appreciate the effort. i am a little confused tho

kiri: ask me if i wanted a hug. when i started crying he started tearing up too then gave me one of the best bear hugs i’ve ever gotten

20/10

super manly dude. i really needed it at the moment and appreciated it ❤️

gonna end this here. i had a few more but i felt like these were the best ones. not tagging anyone since this is like a personal self comfort one lol

THAT DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T WANT YOU GUYS TO LAUGH OR TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. TRUST IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

[zushikiss]

genshin men as random times

summary ; random times and which genshin men + scenario i associate them with

warnings ; petnames (darling, baby in ayato's), slight mentions of a panic attack in xiao's

pairings ; ayato, venti, xiao x gn!reader

notes ; vv domestic and fluffy!! i've been writing these at random times in between classes and i think i finally have enough to post 🥹

8:42 pm - KAMISATO AYATO

and when the clock strucks 8:30 the door opens like always, you stand up from the dining table where you're trying to figure out how to do an origami you saw online, you stand and jog over to the door to greet your boyfriend.

"Welcome home!"

He smiles and immediately and he hugs you, placing half his weight on you as you then whine about how heavy he is.

"Yah, you're too heavy!"

"Work was tiring, let me rest a bit, darling."

"Rest as long as you want but please, take a shower first so we can go to sleep right away. "

and like clockwork, he'll whine but leave nonetheless, the offer of sleeping sounding amazing, and like always, on 8:42 he'll emerge from the bathroom and lay in between your legs, burying his face into your stomach as you let out a chuckle and play with his hair.

"Yatoo, baby you can't sleep like that."

"Yes i can, who'll stop me?"

"Me!! Now come up so we can sleep."

he looks up and he sees you staring right at him with a small pleading smile, he jokingly rolls his eyes as he climbs up, now nuzzling his face into your neck as you press a kiss on his temple.

"Goodnight, even if you're like a big baby."

9:32 am - VENTI

venti knew nothing about cooking, that was clear to anyone who knew him, so to say that diluc and jean were shocked when they got pulled into a video call at the ass crack of morning was no exageration.

"Why'd you call? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, are you alright?"

"Everything's fine! I just need help."

"Help with?"

"I wanna cook for my s/o, they said the've been missing the food from their homeland soooo."

and with that, the cooking started, though it took her a couple tries, he finally succeeded, he checks the time and its 9:32 am, as he ended the call and started to clean up the mess, you sleepily emerged from your room, you navigated towards him as you wrapped your arms around venti, resting your head on his shoulder.

"Morning ven. You woke up pretty early."

"I cooked for you! Quick give it a taste!"

1:57 am - XIAO

it was 1:46 in the morning and you couldn't sleep, you had a huge event later that day and you couldn't help but be nervous, your chest tightens as you struggle to breathe, tears soak your shirt as you find it difficult to breathe, you couldn't bring herself to call anyone, you hesitate but you call out to him.

"Xiao?"

"Are you okay?"

he appeared in an instant, once he noticed the state you were in he hesitated but he disappeared, you thought he didn't want to deal with you but at 1:57 he appears once again, he finds you near the foot of your bed, just the same as he left you earlier, he sat beside you as he hugged you, nudging you head towards his chest as you stained his shirt with tears.

"I got you some food... and flowers. They tend to calm me down when i'm upset so i hope they comfort you the same way the do to me."

[heyybaejjk]

SAU, LA'U TAMA AULELEI ! - PT. 3

pairings: teen!miguel o'hara x fem samoan oc

summary: Sione's gone, David's gone, and even Kiuga is gone. But Miguel isn't, and neither is Manaia. Just great.

warnings/notes: YALL IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE ONE ❤️

series masterlist | prev chap | next chap

Soft fingers played with his hair, the other hand trailing up and down the nape of his neck. "How bad do you want to kiss me, Migs?" A smooth, yet raspy voice spoke.

Miguel could only look down at Manaia with tired eyes, yearning to feel more of her. He was tired of holding back, tired of his feelings being ignored for his ego to show. But now. Now, he has a chance.

"So bad, you don't even know."

She pushed him on the chest lightly enough for him to sit down, sitting on his lap as she cups his face.

"Prove it," she comments with a teasing voice, one of her fingers twirling around a curl.

Leading his hands to rest on her waist, only for him to press them on her back causing her to move forward. Right there at that moment, he felt bliss as her soft lips met his.

Nothing could ever ruin this moment he's dreamt about.

*buzz buzz*

mahi_sniffer: @M.Ohara_99 MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER (HOT ASS) MOTHER I MISS YOU

mahi_sniffer: pls respond i miss you

mahi_sniffer: miguelllllllllll

bololicker: too busy on fufuhour, he doesnt wanna talk to us 😣

aluaigioukae: @M.Ohara_99 your missus was asking where you've been when we were walking home

"For fuck's sake," Miguel could never take a peaceful nap with these idiots, he should have known better. Annoyed at the ruined dream that he wished escalated quicker, he put his phone on silent.

Remembering the last text sent on his phone, he sighed heavily. He knows his friends are mutual with Manaia, mainly because their parents were friends with hers from way back when.

Despite this fact, he never found himself trying to engage with her. At all.

During classes when Sione would ask if she wanted to sit with them, Miguel would get up and sit across the room, opposite of her. Or during a break, if he was playing tackle footy and she was watching while sitting down on the bench with one of his main friends, he stops playing in case he fumbles the ball and embarrasses himself. What was worse was the walk back home after school.

If they weren't going to the mall for a feed with him or going to his house to hangout, they were most definitely walking home with her as they all lived a street next to each other. The walk together would be deadly awkward to the point where Sione would walk Manaia home himself, leaving Miguel and the two other boys.

"Ow! Fuck bro, okay, okay, I'm sorry."

Miguel can hear the stupid whines Sione projects across the room. He lifts his head up, seeing Manaia swat the Tongan boy with a rolled up textbook, "I swear, bro mum's soul, I won't say it again."

"Good," she says while smiling innocently, unrolling her book and returning to write her notes. "Cunt," Sione whispered, causing her to glare at him.

"You should just go kiss him, I swear."

"You should just do your work, stupid."

'Who was it exactly that they were talking about?' Miguel thought. It for sure couldn't be that Seth guy from weeks ago, he was her ex. Was it himself? Was it the guy sitting next to him?

"Sione, I swear if you don't shut your mouth-"

mahi_sniffer: guys not be a mood wrecker but i had to go home early, i know yall are gonna miss me but its okay 💔💔

mahi_sniffer: i forgot to turn off the iron this morning and my mum saw it lying on my bed, it was face down as well 😞

mahi_sniffer: pray for me guys

aluaigioukae: no one really fucking cares

mahi_sniffer: you didn't even come school today you have NO say

bololicker: I had to leave early too, my mum wants me to clean the house before we go airport and pick up my cousins

mahi_sniffer: aww no one really asked 🥹

bololicker: die

aluaigioukae: did naia go school?

mahi_sniffer: yeah

aluaigioukae: and miguel too?

mahi_sniffer: yur

bololicker: and ur not there?

mahi_sniffer: yuh

bololicker: ...

mahi_sniffer: oh

mahi_sniffer: OH OH

M.Ohara_2099: You left me alone, you idiot

"Hey Miguel, have you seen Sione? He wasn't in English last period."

It was already too late for his text to register as he looks up from his phone, seeing Manaia standing in front of him smiling shyly. She wore a high bun, along with a pink and yellow sei that matched her cute, yellow shoes. She had gotten a lip piercing recently, and it drove Miguel crazy.

"Uh, no, I'm sorry. He texted me saying he had to go home early."

He watches as she rolls her eyes while chuckling, "That egg probably left the iron on, I keep reminding him every time we're on the phone."

This causes Miguel to raise an eyebrow, not noticing himself smiling down at her as she talks to herself.

"I was hoping he'd walk me home, but it's fine," He watches as she began to walk away from him with a saddened expression. "I'll see you on Monday, Miguel." He hears her say with a soft voice.

His friends weren't there to encourage him into talking to her like they normally would. His mother was at work so he had no excuse to rush home, and not walk up to Manaia to strike up a conversation. He didn't see her talk to her ugly ass ex at all today.

This is his one chance, and he could not afford to miss it.

"I can walk you home, Manaia." Miguel calls out, turning around to meet with her back. She stopped walking, turning around to face him.

"O-only if you're okay with that, of course," He stutters, "And I know Sione doesn't like you walking alone with other schools nearby finishing as well, he knows you get uncomfortable walking around others you don't know much about." He attempts to make a poor excuse which she smiles softly at.

Miguel feels his face grow hot at the sight of her looking him up and down, "That's very cute of you to do, Miguel. I'd be happy if you walked with me."

It had been a long, silent walk, but it was calming. Well, to Manaia at least. Miguel had both his hands in his pockets, not wanting to accidentally touch the girl beside him if his hands were to flare out.

"You know, I was bummed out when I couldn't see you after the whole Multicultural event. I wanted to see you, Migs."

Hearing this, Miguel fidgets nervously, clenching his sweaty palms to relax his racing heart. If only she knew how much of an effect she had on him just by saying a few words. But there was this thing; she was always genuine. He knew that she was telling no lie, and it made him crazy.

Based on how other girls approached him, it wasn't the best way to get into his closed-off heart. He remembers how bold people can be, but it just made him uncomfortable knowing they'd just try to get into his pants. Some people were deaf to the word no a lot of the time.

"Uh- yeah, had to.. get home, emergency," he tells Manaia, stuttering uncontrollably and lying through his teeth.

Miguel watches as her nod, "I kind of wished to see you there. But I hope everything at home is okay," she looks up at him, catching him off guard at the sudden eye contact. His face heats up as she smiles at him warmly.

"So what are you listening to?" He asks, using an excuse to avoid her longing gaze.

In his peripheral vision, he sees her hand offering an ear bud. "You're close enough with Sione to not get it right," He looks down at Manaia, he waits for her to continue, her moist lips tempting his curiosity badly. Just how exactly would they feel against his own?

"If you guess right, you'll get a surprise when you drop me to my house." The crescendo of her sultry voice chimes in, her eyes looking into his as she gave him a cute smile, waving the earbud in his face. As he puts the bud in, he feels the side of her arm touch his. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Sorry, I just don't want to move far away and accidentally pull the bud out of your ear. I shared with Sione one time, and trust me when I tell you how much it hurts," laughing at the stupid memory with her best friend. Fondly smiling at her thoughtful thinking, he inches closer as well, arms brushing against each other.

He paid no mind to the contact.

That's what Manaia was thinking.

The volume raises slightly, she gave a toothy grin at his animated-like thinking pose, one hand on his chin as he pretend to thinks as he hears her small laugh.

"It's definitely Hey Girl by Fiji,' He answers, looking at Manaia expectantly, heartstrings being pulled as he sees her face glow in endearment.

"You even said the artist, that's very cute of you, Miguel," Manaia's quick to compliment him as if it was nothing, sending him into an internal coma. Trying his best not to let his mouth form into a shy smile, he mumbles a quick thank you, to which she giggle at once again.

The two of them continued their walk, they had to come to a stop as she saw the walkway leading to the small stairs of her front door. Looking at the empty driveway, she let out a sigh of relief. Both of the teenagers walk up to the door. Despite this, Miguel finds himself in relief as she doesn't say her goodbyes yet.

"I'm still sorry for the long walk," she says with an upset tone, an apologetic smile on her face. "It's fine, really. Plus, going to the gym isn't going to help me by itself if I'm not walking at least an hour a day," He winks playfully, his crossed arms that were up against his chest brought into a trance. Muscular arms seeped through the material of his shirt.

"You're an egg sometimes, just like Sione," she stiffled a laugh, jokingly pushing his shoulder, a bit harder than expected as she leaned forward, her sei falling out.

Miguel bends down and picks it up, softly pulling her closer by the arm, placing the fake flower back in position. All the while she looked up at him, flattering her eyelashes up at him trying to ignore the close feeling of his body against hers. The promximity sent a rush of heat to her face. "Don't want to ruin that pretty hair of yours," he smiles down at her.

His words replaying and looping around in her head, she couldn't resist asking the taller boy in front of her.

"You think I'm pretty?"

Miguel looks at Manaia, face heated from the straightforward question, he coughs, "Maybe.." She tilts her head teasingly, glossy lips form into a cute smile, as well as her eyes.. God, those eyes. Miguel couldn't help but think back to the dream from last night. The way her lips moulded perfectly against his, giving him a teasing look right after. The same look she was giving him now.

He shakes his head lightly before chuckling, "Now, where was that surprise you were talking about early, huh?"

"Come closer," her hand reaches up to hold his face, now standing on her tippy toes to get closer.

This is it. Miguel thinks to himself happily.

"Who are you?" a small voice pops out.

The both of them look at the door. There stood a little boy, hair ruffled as well as his strained looking eyes.

"Junior, what have I told you about when I'm talking to people?" She tells him off with a motherly tone as if telling off her own child, her hand long gone from his heated cheek. Turning her focus back to Miguel, "I, uh, as much as I want to invite you inside, my mum will be home soon, Miguel," And that was true.

"That's fine," he says to her, looking her in the eyes.

She turns her head down to her brother, nodding her head for him to get inside as the both of them talked, and that he does.

"I'll see you on Monday," Manaia quickly cup his cheek, kissing just beside his mouth, missing his cheek completely as he moved his head. He shakes his head while blushing, watching Manaia swiftly wave and run into her house giggling.

bololicker: bro its been 3 hours, wheres sione

aluaigioukae: got his phone taken off him 😿😿

bololicker: AWUI SHAME

aluaigioukae: nah but wheres that chromebook he stole from skl? 👀

bololicker: AS IF HE WOULD USE THE CHROMEBOOK TO TEXT US

bololicker: he made fun of me when i was texting my missus on it

aluaigioukae: 💀💀💀

aluaigioukae: anyway..

alugioukae: has miguel texted you? havent heard from him for a few hours

M.Ohara_99: I just got home, I'm here.

bololicker: MY BRETHREN.

aluaigioukae: are you okay? doesnt take you that long to get home before

M.Ohara_99: I'm fine, thank you for asking.

M.Ohara_99 is typing

Miguel stops typing, should he tell them he walked Manaia home? No. They'll make fun of him, for sure. But if he tells them, they can give him advice on how to get closer to her as well. They are close to her, more than he is. Sadly, he thinks.

Ah, fuck it.

M.Ohara_99: I walked Manaia home

2 users are typing

aluaigioukae: AINGGGGGGGGGGGGG

bololicker: SLURP SLURP OUAAAAAAAAAA

aluaigioukae: DID YOU.. YKKKKK???

"I fucking knew it," He says to himself.

M.Ohara_99: David, Kiuga, please

M.Ohara_99: I just walked her home, that was all

alugioukae: wait nah we need to hear how youre saying it 👀 you might be smiling and kicking your dick around n all

bololicker: awui

aluaigioukae has started a voice chat!

2 others are on voice chat! - join | decline

Miguel groans into his pillow, "Fucks sake."

"David, why do we have to call? I was perfect with texting you," he says immediately after pressing the green join option. He glares at the little screen, showing David grinning at him, Kiuga's screen remained off while his microphone stayed on.

At least Kiuga was normal about it, Miguel thinks.

"HOW WAS IT, MATE?" Kiuga screams through his microphone.

Nevermind.

Turning on his camera, Miguel props his phone against his headboard and lays on his pillow. "I told you, nothing else. I just walked her home..." He trails off, looking away from the camera.

"So you both didn't kiss?" David asks, raising his brow line.

Miguel coughs and chokes on air, looking up at the ceiling.

"No. We didn't kiss."

"Liar, liar, my dick is on fucking fire, Miguel. Naia told us she tried to go for the cheek but your freaky ass was trying to get some tongue in there," Kiuga yells through his microphone dramatically, the pitch of his voice heightening through every line.

Miguel groans again into his pillow, "So you both knew but asked anyway? I'm embarrassed right now," ruffling his hair aggressively.

David breaks into laughter, "She told us straight away. Okay but don't tell her I told you," He says in a bit of a serious tone, a playful aura still lingering, "But she felt embarrassed when you moved your face, she was rambling on about it on the phone before you texted. She was even more embarrassed when her brother saw you at the front door."

"He was a cute kid, but he ruined the moment," Miguel says bluntly.

"Did the kid have a gap tooth or?" Kiuga says causing David to laugh. Miguel thinks to himself before nodding. "He did."

"I fucking love that sibling, her other siblings are so ass."

"Have I met any of them?" Miguel curiously asks.

"Uh," David trails off, scratching the back off his neck, "do you remember that guy who started a brawl at the mall last year? In the food court?"

"The guy who stole my fucking burrito from Mad Mex to throw at someone's head!? The burrito I paid for that was $20?!" Miguel yells through his mic, louder than needed as his mother opens his door, peeking her head in.

"You okay?" she asks softly.

He snaps his head toward the door, nodding aggressively, "Uh huh."

His mother leaves, giving an awkward smile.

"Yeah that was him. And the other two girls that were behind him are her sisters. They're all in their twenties, but they don't live with Manaia and Junior" Kiuga informs Miguel, whose mouth is wide open as well as his eyes.

"Fuck's sake."

"Yeah well, better not fuck around with her or else her junkie ass siblings will come for you," David jokes.

Miguel sighs, taking off his jumper, revealing his tone arms and shoulders. His riled up self felt heat rush through his body. It was bad enough the AC in his room was broken.

"Well, I would never do that. All I know is that I like her, but I don't know if she likes me back," the heart broken boy says, a slight pout settling on his lips.

"Be for real, Migs," Kiuga teases. The nickname only sounded good when it came out of her mouth. Only hers. "And don't give me that 'Oh, she's just being nice' type bullshit. I give David a little kiss on the cheek when I drop him off home-"

"Wow, okay bye." David says, leaving the call.

Miguel rolls his eyes as Kiuga laughs out loud. "All I see is denial. Try talking to her more. I'll give you her username before I go sleep, I'll see you Monday." The boy finally says before leaving the call.

Miguel lets the silence in his room embrace him. A few minutes go by and all he can do is think about her. And maybe the dream. He remembers how she looked down at him in the dream, and sat in his lap. With just one touch, she already had him on his knees.

As for today, all she did was look up at him, and he felt his knees buck and his breath hitch. Fuck.

*buzz buzz*

aluaigioukae: @manaiafepuleai 😉😉 heres her @

aluaigioukae: make sure theres no cookie calls ;))

prev chap | next chap

[rigginsstreet]

What do you think about a deaf billy AU?

where Neil moved his family to the middle of nowhere Indiana because he knows 80s bumfuck nowhere doesn’t have a lot of support for disabled ppl and hates his son (as we all know)

At first billy tries to hide it, he had gotten used to learning how to read lips and make inferences on what people were saying, if he happened to miss something? He’d just brush it off, saying he wasn’t paying attention.

Billy might have a slight deaf voice, Neil probably came along with his “no son of mine” spiel so Billy had to learn how to speak as Neil thought was “normal”.

Steve begins to notice something different about Billy; slowed reaction time, really focusing on people’s faces, etc, and brings it up to Joyce.

Joyce, concerned, waits until the next time Billy is in her store to ask if everything is okay. Billy panics, he thought he was doing perfect, if he doesn’t his dads gonna kill him, so he very quickly excuses himself out of the store.

Maybe some further concerned Steve and Joyce? Teaming up to help out Billy? 🥹

i am into all of this. i wanna say way back in the early days of the fandom there was a deaf!billy fic i read.... or it was steve. or it was neither of them and im thinking of another fandom entirely lmfao anyway!

this would put their little staredown at tinas in a whole new context...honestly it puts a lot of billy scenes in new context that boy loves to look and watch and observe.

i would also like to bring in cali bros argilly and say that argyle and billy learned to sign together back home bc neil surely wasnt going to put billy in classes and surely not learn himself, maybe billy had teachers at school who helped? but argyle wanted to learn too since they were besties and he was really the only person billy could talk to after that. so when the hargroves move to indiana billys on his own again and since he doesnt want to out himself as being deaf and ask if anyone knows how to sign, he just pretends to be aloof and like he doesnt give a shit about what anyone says to him (which isnt like... untrue lol)

if he and max still have a bad relationship in this au maybe she hasnt bothered to learn how to sign either cuz like... why is she gonna need it to talk to billy? they dont talk period

steve calling billys name when hes not looking trying to get his attention and it never working so a lightbulb goes off in his head and he starts writing notes to see if that works and sure enough...

joyce picking up books from the library and learning very basic signs for the next time billy comes into the store. she's just trying to be polite but it still makes billy panicky that someone knows. ooooh if neil and billy come into the store one day and she overhears neil giving billy shit about not listening to him and how he needs to get his shit together etc etc and she immediately decides this man needs to be put down like she is not having it but she also knows theres not a whole lot she can do right now besides make her presence known and get him to back down.

steve helping billy out in the classes they share together and even in the classes they dont he finds a way to get notes from other people without letting them know its for billy, and billys constantly wondering how steve keeps pulling this off but steve wont reveal his secrets. them developing this silent language on the basketball court that makes them unbeatable... many thoughts many thoughts

idk how joyce and steve end up joining forces in all of this but i know they do!

[wave2tyun]

Omggg I’m so proud of you Alex!!!! Congrats ☹️ you’ll crush second semester!!!!! I particularly believe it’ll be easier since you already know how things work and won’t be so lost as before!!

I hate being homesick but I guess it’ll be worth it in the end

anddd I’ve been good so far! I got a job and it’ll start next week so I’m pretty nervous (specially bc I’ll have to work with the public😔) and my classes start February 5th��� I’m excited for this year but I’m still pretty tired too.

Also also!!!! I’m finishing twinkling watermelon and I’m sure ur gonna love it, I cried in every episode bc it’s so soooo beautiful

I’m Lia btw :3

OMG HIIIIIII MY DEAREST LIA!!!!🥹🥹🥹💞💓💖💘💖💘 i was NOT expecting the reveal to happen now and omg i will CRY i know you've been here with me since pretty much my very beginning on tumblr🥹💞 come here!!!!!🫂🫂🫂🩷🩷

tysmmmm!!! :DD<333 i believe so too!!! i already know my way around both the university and the city, made some friends too AND actually know how to cook now!!!😌 i will miss the comfort of home and it's probably gonna take some time to adjust back, but just like you've said, it's gonna be worth it in the end. i have so many opportunities here that i wouldn't have back at home, and i'm actually pretty excited for the courses i'm taking this semester :D plus, i think being away from home has also helped me grow and mature in ways i probably wouldn't have been able to otherwise :')

CONGRATS ON THE JOBBBBBB OH MY GOD I'M PROUD OF YOU!!! :DD💘💞💓💓💖💘💞 i hope it's all gonna go smoothhhh as butter😼 and i totally get your fear about working with the public, i also want to try to find a job this semester but i've never had one before and i tend to struggle a lot with social anxiety, so i'm not sure what kind of job to look for😞

good luck with your job and with uni as well!!!🫂🫂🩷 hope you'll get some really good rest on those last few days before you start again!! :0 my classes start on monday and my flight is tomorrow VERY early in the morning....😵‍💫 2024 is gonna be a good year for both of us i can feel, it trust me!!!😼😼

OMG i can't wait to start it then!!!! i always put all my trust in your taste you just NEVER disappoint with your recs😳💞

[sunflowervolum-6]

taps mic,,,,

liam deserves more credit i mean he co wrote and co produced with louis,, also better than words bye- she is so good the TALENT (liam’s voice is amazing !!)

take me home is a fucking bop! like she is beauty and world class

you and i is not my favourite song

made in the am had so much potential she was done dirty and continues to be ignored for WHAT?

one direction music needs to be taken more seriously like they continue to be the biggest boy band even NOW???

steal my girl might be the best music video ??

i want to write you a song is soo 🥺🥺🥺 like history and this are cousins

no control intro aka zayn and niall in it 🥹🥹

niall in temporary fix >>>

if they ever come back in year idk 2040?? i would be still soo excited cause they would incorporate all their different styles and i think it would be better than ever

there are soo many more but yeah this is mostly it :)

GO OFF QUEEN!!!!

-JUSTICE FOR LIAM!!!!! That man did not give his blood swea and tears for people to discredit his role in 1D's success!!!!

-in this house we believe in tmh supremacy 😌

-same you & I is not my top fav😭

-i believe most directioners dont talk about mitam because they miss zayn but mitam is a fucking masterpiece (olivia?, iwtwyas?, temporary fix?, and most importantly IICF????)

-seriously!!!! 1D isn't some stupid boyband its the bane of my existence and anyone who criticizes them has to fight me ୧⁠(⁠ ⁠˵⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠˵⁠ ⁠)⁠୨

-steal my girl mv is so fun😭😭😭

- i want to write you a song makes me feel so soft like-🥺 they recorded it early morning and you can hear the rasp in louis' voice like🥺🥺🥺🥺

- no control is 1D's best song like the lyrics the production *chef's kiss*

-NIALL IN EVERY 1D SONG!!!!! they fr snubbed him in the early albums 😭

- the reunion would be so much fun now with Harry's wmyb zayn and louis' night changes liams live while we're young like they would include all their styles and everything

All of these are so valid😭

@onedirection wya????

[natsbaby]

Grief

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: different people goes through grief differently and you’re not an exception from this

Warning: mentions of death of major character, sad thoughts from the major character, crying

A/N: im sorry if this doesn’t make sense compared to my past stories, wanted to try something new and had this concept in mind when i heard this song that made me feel really nostalgic-sad 🥹 i’m still drafting the actual story for my royal AU but the general concept is already there so hopefully i’ll release it soon so for now, hope you guys like this one!!! 💖💖💖💖

When you first experienced your first ever “death experience” was when your dog of 10 years died. You loved him with your whole being as he was your best friend and did everything with him. When he died, you were 10 years old who has a vague idea of the concept but never truly experienced it until one day you came home from school and he wasn’t there to greet you normally. Your parents sat you down, explaining what happened as well as they believed you could handle. They explained it through a children’s book that talked about how one has to talk to others to go through the mourning process of a loss, but everyone’s different so it could differ. It also stated that one would feel like something’s missing, and admittedly you didn’t feel that so, it was a (pleasant? maybe to your parents so they wouldn’t have to worry about your innocence) surprise when you handled it really well, not a tear rolling down your face, though your parents were wondering if it ever truly hit you that your best friend was gone. You went to school the next day as if nothing happened at home.

Your next “death experience” was your uncle who you were relatively close with but not as much as your dog’s death 4 years prior. You went to the wake one day after your parents dressed you up in all black and told you how he died from a devastating car crash. You were surrounded by family members who came from far and wide to say goodbye to your uncle one last time, he was the brother of your father. They believed your family was close with him due to his relationship with your father so they would come up to your family, extending their grievances in which you replied with “oh thank you, he was a good man”. It was a safe thing to say, you realized that after the 7th (maybe, you lost count) crying aunt came and hugged you as if you’re the one crying and they’re the ones comforting you. By the time you and your parents left the wake to go home, you couldn’t help but notice the slight gaping feeling in your chest. It was the first time you felt this feeling, but shrugged it off thinking it was the effects from being in a room of mourning people for a few hours.

The death of your father, which was a more recent “death experience” you felt, was something that almost turned your world stop. You were a daddy’s girl, so his death kind of affected you differently. You were in your early 20s when this happened and you remembered it like it was yesterday. You were told of his passing while you were walking to your next class in University through the phone. You stopped walking in the middle of the hallway when your mother uttered the words, before breaking down over the phone in grief. You remember cooing softly at your mother over the phone, trying your best to comfort her when she eventually pulled herself together so you could head to class. The same gaping feeling you felt in your uncle’s wake was there, a bit more obvious than before. You thought it was irritating that the feeling was there when you had finals to deal with, so you pushed it away as you go through your finals and eventually through the actual wake. All you did was push that empty feeling away, forcing yourself to not think about it until it became unconscious. That was your experience so far with grief, but you didn’t realize things would be different when it was the love of your life’s turn to leave this world.

“Nat’s been compromised, we’re still trying to find her body but it’s possible she’s gone. We’re sorry, Y/N”

You stare back at the message on your phone by an unknown number, most likely a SHIELD agent Fury asked to let you know since your information’s on Nat’s emergency information in case of an unlikely scenario.

Nat promised you that she would return to you after this whole saving the world thing was taken care of so that the two of you could finally have a life together without the paranoia on Nat’s end. She asked you to stay at the safe house while waiting for you, even allowed you to convert it into whatever you want to keep your mind of things. You’ve been through grief before, knowing how it can affect others differently but you didn’t expect what happened next.

The first thing you thought of was how this must be a joke, she’s Natasha Romanoff after all. The woman who went to space for God’s sake to save the world and survived the snap that killed off 50% of the population. This must be some cruel joke, right?

You start to chuckle as you put your phone down, looking out of the window as you walk up to it. You start to look around to try and find Nat walking up to the safe house but nothing.

“Nat’s probably on the way home now, limping with some gash wound or something that i’d have to patch up” you think as an unconscious chuckle ruptures out of your throat, shaking your head at the thought. But then a voice you haven’t heard since your father’s wake enters your mind.

But.. what if she is dead? It says back to you.

A cold shudder runs down your spine as you realized that you’d never receive that message unless it was real.. and it was in that moment you realized that you lost the love of your life. It was like someone opened a dam and something uncharacteristically of you overcame. You started to cry.

Thick, heavy drops of tears start to flow out of your eyes and down your face, the words “Nat’s gone” bouncing off the walls of your mind starts to seep down into your heart, the weight of the world suddenly on your shoulders causing you to fall onto your knees, your hands on the floor as your main support from completely crumbling down.

Sobs starts to break through your throat as tears flows faster down, the darkness seeping onto your heart starts to fill up as years of grief from past loved ones starts to bottle up as well but all you could think was how you’d never wake up besides her ever again, how you’d one day forget the sound of her voice or the smell that screams-

You’re gonna forget her.

You’re gonna forget who she is and how she played a vital role in your life. The sudden drowning-feeling of guilt overcomes your senses as your heart sunk at the thought of forgetting the love of your life. You struggle to breathe as you try to calm yourself down but to no avail, you’ve never cried this hard in your life despite the experience. An animalistic scream breaks through, a form of release you’ve never heard yourself done in your decades of existing in this world.

How will you live on? another voice speaks in your mind and the feeling of dread swallows you whole in that one second.

Oh god you’re gonna have to start living without her, walk through door frames where she once went through and speak to people as if she stands besides you, coaxing you to part from the party and spend time with her. You’re never gonna come home one day and be enveloped in the sense of security she brings into your shared apartment, something that only she could do. The thought of having to live without her from this day onwards just sends another bolt of pain on your already cracked heart, causing it to officially break that no one could ever fix, only she could fix but she’s not here to do so anymore.

After what seems like forever, you finally do calm down. Heavy breathing fills the room as you note how dark the room has become, you probably have been crying for hours without realizing it. You slowly get up, but the shakiness of your knees caused you to fall back onto your butt. You didn’t have the energy to get up from all the crying so you just lean back against the wall as you bring your knees to your chest, hugging yourself into a tight ball as you nuzzle your face into yourself. The moon shines through the window, and onto the bed where your phone has been sitting this entire time. You’re not sure how you could walk through this lifetime without the woman that changed your life forever, how you could remember the woman far longer than you’ve known her without forgetting the little things that became routine for the both of you.

You knew in the back of your mind that Nat would prefer you to move on, not necessarily forget but to at least hold up your own now that she’s gone and you knew that one day you’d be able to remember the good and not the bad. For now, all you know is this new feeling of numbness that you’ve never felt before as you mourn over your passed beloved. The empty feeling that once occupied your life for her, now shattered into so small of pieces that might never get back together as perfectly as it once was. You believe this is the feeling everyone feels when someone close to them passes, something you should have felt the moment your dog passed at childhood or when your father passed at your early adulthood.

What you didn’t realize was while you were wallowing in pain, a message came through stating that Natasha Romanoff has officially been declared dead, and another message stating i love you, i’m sorry.

[kookieswan]

Hello my love♥️ hope you're doing well and your day is going fabulous and that you're healthy, had enough sleep, drank enough water, had delicious food and over all having a fantastic day, cause you deserve nothing less ♥️

On other news i have to start going back to office every Friday from tomorrow, a dismal affair if you ask me! Why can't we just keep working from home? Why the fuck must we face the hell called outside world? Ugh... Is it bad of me to say i miss the early days of lockdown? I mean i know that covid was rampant and many many people experienced tremendous loss (i apologise if I'm offending anyone by saying this) but in one way this pandemic finally broke the corporate tedium and i feel that people should have the choice to whether they want to get back to work or not.

Sorry i kind of got on a rant! Going back to office is weighing on my mind a lot and I'm lowkey freaking out.

I will admit, I’ve had none of those things happen today 🥹 but thank you for wishing on them for me.

It did cause a lot of terrible loss (I’m so sorry for anyone who experienced this loss or other hardships because of Covid), but you’re right, it did change the way a lot of companies run. I for one had to go back to attending class normally last semester and was super creeped out by it because the whole year before that, I was completely online. I totally get why it’s more beneficial for certain people to stay home, while it’s the opposite case for others. Either way, I think giving employees the option to chose is important if their job pertains to being able to work from home.

No worries sweetness, I totally get it. Change after a long period of doing something comfortably can really suck a lot. Just know that you’ll do great no matter what and I’m always rooting for you ❤️❤️❤️