#had to happen as soon as I get home. :|
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btw i want to say if they do actually reboot the maze runner i will straight up rip the heart out of a Hollywood exec and eat it on hollywood boulevard . absolutely unforgivable.
#AND LETS BE CLEAR !!!! i love the maze runner. but it has a plot too silly to make FOUR NEW MOVIES OUT OF !!!!#i saw an article abt this before my flight and i had to file it away for later bc I didn’t have time for it then.#I will be transparent and say I only remembered again bc I saw an edit of Dylan O’Brien#where someone said maze runner Dylan could break their back like a glow stick.#which. I understand the sentiment !! but SEE !!!!!#if they cast like. Timmy chalamet as Thomas. I would quite frankly eat my hat.#nothing and no one else will work quite the way that cast did and I stand by that.#anyway. I’m back on my maze runner bullshit which is always silly. couldn’t have happened when I got all five paper copies at school noo#had to happen as soon as I get home. :|#lee’s bullshit
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thinking about writing a jmart fic inspired by my original story. would y'all read it or nah
#the storys about a woman who finds herself in this weird ass forest#where the longer youre there the more it strips you of your identity#until all that remains is your core motivation#your bare essentials#and it warps your body to better reflect that#like i have a character who was a huntsman who had to resort to cannibalism when he and his hunting buddy got trapped in the mountains#so now hes like this Grotesque Beast who hunts other people who wander into the forest#and i love him sm <3#anyway#so the woman is trying to find her way back home to her wife before she becomes one of them#but no ones ever escaped before blah blah blah whatever#and im having a hard time actually writing it#since its something from scratch#like theres just A Lot#i have characters and the setting but im struggling to balance a plot b plot c plot etc#so i figure i might just rope my hyperfixation into it to let it Do Its Thing so i can actually have like#a first draft#at the very least#idk#would yall read that?#not tma#helix speaks#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#get this to 10 notes and I'll do it#i don't need a lot of convincing#it's prolly gonna happen#soon as i figure out how i wanna rework characters and plot points
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@beatingheart-bride
Fortunately, neither of them had to wait long-June and Wilhelm, unable to sleep on account of their son's absence, had been sitting up wide awake in the living room, and were thus able to run to the door when they heard Emily's call. June threw open the door, and Randall, in an effort to stand on his own two feet, moved to collapse against her, mumbling, "Ma...Emily...saved me..."
"What?"
"She didn't...hurt me..." he continued, voice strained as he spoke-even through the haze of pain hanging over him, he wanted to make it as clear as possible that Emily saved his life. "Got mugged...she saved me..."
"Shh, shh, don't speak," she soothed, her expression uncertain as she looked between her badly battered son and the vampire standing on the front porch. She wasn't sure what to say, but for now, she settled for bringing Randall inside, asking Wilhelm to bring her the first aid kit, something he rushed to do, sparing an equally uncertain look towards Emily as he hurried upstairs.
Once he'd had a chance to lie down and recover, letting his mother tend to his wounds, Randall was able to explain the full story of what had transpired that evening-how Emily had coming seemingly out of nowhere to rescue him, opting not to drain his attackers, but instead give them a good scare before rushing him home.
"And she didn't...bite you...?" Wilhelm asked, keeping his voice low as Randall took a deep drink from his water glass, saying, "No, Pa, she didn't." She had every opportunity to do so, but she didn't. He hoped that would be enough to change their minds about her, as he ventured to ask:
"Can you...can you please bring her in?"
At this request, his parents exchanged a nervous look-should they? Would she turn vengeful as soon as she crossed that threshold? The look in their son's eyes said no...
...but that was a painful concept in itself, as it meant that they had been wrong about her all this time...
Swallowing back their worries, June gave her husband a curt little nod, and so, with some hesitance, some lingering uncertainty, Wilhelm slowly opened the front door, letting Emily into their home once more.
#((yeah 'child's play 3' is defidently one of the weakest entries in the series!))#((brad dourif is still great as chucky; he's doing what he can with the material; but it was just too soon))#((after 'child's play 2'; there just wasn't enough time for the script to really have a chance to properly bake))#((and the film didn't have enough room to breathe! it's no wonder that the series took a long hiatus))#((only to come back strong with 'bride of chucky'; fortunately!))#((i defidently encourage you to check out the films in full when you get a chance! the first film and 'bride' are my favorites))#((and i hope you enjoy them!))#((and i think they'll defidently feel guilty-they kept the two of them apart))#((and had they not; this may not have happened! it's really such a blessing emily's been watching over randall in bat form))#((and was able to swoop in and save him and get him home!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Dark Shadows
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meduka ,,,,,
#sorry i had to stew in the announcement for three hours. im so tired#madoka is the priority though. sleep later (as soon as i post this)#maybe ill do something else later maybe i wont idk but. oooohhhgshgdjdhdjdjfjsrgrgrgrhrhhsjhdjddjj#doka#listen im so glad i was home alone when the announcement happened i knew it was coming but the ungodly dog like gibberish that came out of m#when the movie announcement happened#ragsggrhrgr. augh. the. woagh#it looks sososo so pretty and cool and the#the.#aaaaaaagsgrggrrhhr#sorry. sorry im. normal. anyways#wow hey guys that new trailer about the rebellion sequel movie huh. haha wow.#rhegahgsjdjfjffkf#anways normal again haha (lying)#madoka magica#madohomu#sorry the post is irrelevant to the movie i just had to get something out of me right this minute
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also i had a really shitty day at work so pls don't let these sets flop
#had to get my jacket to the dry cleaner bc one of my student had the really great idea to throw a broken pink highlighter through the classr#spattering everywhere on my computer and on the wall and chair#and i didn't realize there were pink droplets on the chair so i sat on it and my jeans got stained as well#and they're my favourite pair of jeans but i washed them as soon as i went back home so i think it's all gone#but still#i had to break out a fight in this same class yesterday#i'm really not having a great time rn#my boss looked so weary when he came to get the student there's so many incidents happening at school atm#lu.txt
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guy is noticing his depression coming back, but will not do anything about it.
#idk ive been diagnosed with dysthymia which was sold to me as mild but longlasting depression etc.#as i was in the process of leaving my psychiatrist she told me it was at that moment in recession =w=b#but one main thing im seeing now is that im skipping school again. (+ the horrors but we dont talk about those)#skipping school isnt BAD and all. and i do genuinely think its for the better but. that might just be the depression voice talking =3=#anyway i know itll get better again. hopefully soon.#augh also one thing i noticed is. the sleepy. getting back.#its been a while since ive had afternoon naps but now..... they sure are happening.#and these suck a bit more bc often i get home at 4pm which is in my mind too late to have a comfy nap.#yesterday and also a couple days ago i napped from like 8pm-9pm. which isnt really helping my sleep :)#but its not like i could STAY AWAKE or something. i HAD to sleep.#:/#anyway its not like i can actually do something big about it...#maybe i should take a walk more. hm.#but my knees.... and the tired.... and things i actually have to do.....#sillyposting#yaknow.#=w=b
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It is so insane to feel everyone getting sick of you. Like goddamn I'm sorry I'm going through what may be my worst year yet but you putting up with me is somehow equivalent to christ on the fucking cross all of a sudden.
#really just goes to show that ultimately people close to you may not care abt your mental health as soon as it starts to affect them#we can talk abt depression and burnout and exhaustion until the cows come home but the second you stop putting on a happy optimistic facade#no one gives a shit anymore and you should suck it up so you're not bothering others#which is crazy. cuz I try to keep my problems to myself. I internalize a lot of the anguish I feel on a daily basis so no one else has#to deal with it.#but I've had a really bad. really long. exhausting and excruciating few weeks. and then you tell me the one thing I've had to look forward#to isn't gonna happen bc of some stupid shit. like fine. whatever. the apathy is kicking in so I'll get over it faster.#but god forbid you sulk for a night.#god forbid you be sad and disappointed and stressed when literally everything in your life sucks at the moment.#guess I'll put those yucky emotions away and go back to being yout stupid fucking court jester or whatever#it's all rage now. can't use that one either tho.#they gotta do this shit on my one Saturday off this month too. god forbid I have one fucking day.
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epic win at old lady group today: the group leader was struggling with a tangled up loose skein of yarn, so i scampered over to the other end of the table where was sitting and offered to untangle it and wind it into a centre-pull yarn bal for her since I remembered how to do it from just the other day fjdkdl and she was very confused why i would WANT to do that but she let me :3
so i got to untangle yarn AND wind a yarn ball AND help someone i appreciate, three things i love doing - YIPPEE !!!
#also one of the ladies had never seen the way i do it before and she was so fascinated and impressed fjdkdl#every couple mins she'd be like ''wow! would ya look that!'' SBDJDKL it was so fun#also i finished as much of the hat i could work on while i was there a bit early#so i pulled out my sketchbook for the last half hour and doodled a little#and the remaining women all wanted to see fhfkdl so i got to show them a page of my art#and they were so impressed HDJFDKL#its so strange sharing my art w ppl bc like... i pretty much never do it irl#so im always like super nervous and unsure and ppl pretty much always go ''WOW !! you're an artist!!!''#and then i get MORE nervous and unsure bc idk how to react to compliments other than saying thank you gjfkdl#and its just a very silly mess of a time LOL#ANYWAYS !! good time there today as always fjfkl i almost had a panic attack at the grocery store after but i survived#idk why that happens sometimes fjdkdl my brain just decides its time to freak out#and i have to be like hey man. we're almost done here and then we'll be home soon. and we can have a breakdown once we get home okay?#and my brain kicks a rock and mutters a pouty ''okay'' and i push through the rest of the time fnfmdjdkl#anyhowdy that was A Lot and im very tired but it was good overall and I've got food again so HURRAY !!#and also i have a drawing im excited abt working on >:3#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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he Will be mine
i already lost the 50/50 so its guaranteed too
#aventurine you Will come home you have no choice#bro he hurts so fucking bad his stiry had me crying sm#hes so cunty and sad i love him#im sad he cant be on a team with blade tho :( theyre my top two faves#at least he will work good with the dan hengs they always get two shotted jdlakwjehdh especially dragon heng bro is a glass cannon#i hope he comes home soon so i will still have boothill funds#hes so my type i need him biblically#the only leg up aven has is the soul crushing backstory#i love my men fucked up#since we dont know a lot about boothill yet hes really only got his looks#yk?#anyways#if i had a nickle for everytime a blonde was my fave even tho im not usually attracted to blondes id have two nickles which isnt a lot but#its weird it happened twice#vash the stampede 💪 aventurine-blondes who have suffered more than jesus#what was i posting about again
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basement is flooding 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 :(((
#my most favorite magical amazing silliest place in the universe (my room) is in the basement :(#it’s not like Actually flooding but Someone (we don’t know who. might be our new neighbor.) turned on the hose outside and just. left it on#and the water leaked into our basement and into the walls and shit. there was a huge pool of water in the furnace room or whatever it’s#called and. there water literally underneath the floor. like literally water is leaking through the floor boards and i found out when i sat#on my rug and realized i was getting all wet. like i literally walked across my room and water was seeping through the cracks of the floor#water was EVERYWHERE#in like over half the basement. the floor of the main area is ruined i think and holy shit apparently like the inside of the walls or#foundation or whatever is so like wet and soggy that we might have to take out the entire wall that separates my room and the furnace room#and if we have to do that my stepdad says he’ll just remodel the entire basement while we’re at it. which means my room would basically be#gone. this is so fucking stupid#all because some idiot left the hose on. and we don’t even know who it is either. i think it’s our new neighbor because he kinda just#comes to our house a lot and talks to us or just hangs out in our yard. and sometimes he shows up when none of us are home#idk it’s stupid apparently there’s a shit ton of damage and that’s freaking me out because i literally love my room so much it’s my favorit#place to be ever and all my friends call it the autism room because it’s filled with all my favorite things#like my walls are bright neon lime green i got collections and shit i’ve got minecraft posters and like a million plushies everywhere#my room is literally so autism coded#ANYWAY. probably nothing will happen but yeah#side note i have a shit ton of asks to answer and tag games to catch up on and stories to read but i’ve had literally zero spoons lately#i’m gonna play minecrafttttt (in the process of building a pc so soon i’ll be able to get mc java!!! excited about that!!!!)#wyrms says stuff
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daigo lurking in the hot topic until finally someone asks him if he works there and he just has to awkwardly be like no...... sorry......
#snap chats#aka things that happened to me today part 86 EIDNSZL#its what happens when your indecisive ass hangs around the shit for an hour until people just assume You Work There....#he might as well if you asked him where something was he might be snappy at first but he’d tell you#but anyways NOOOO I DIDNT MEAN TO BUY AN OUTFIT TODAYDOSBDKSK#oh well.... i went my whole teenagehood not buying clothes its ok....#but yeah. they never gave me hot cash before ????? they just gave me coupons#and i forgot to bring my coupon from LAST time because. i wasnt supposed to buy anything today 🕴#this post was just so i could talk bout hot cash cause ik we talked bout it before </3#i just wanted to get out of the house 🕴#but NOOOOO my friend finally was able to comm me after wanting to for so long... and then i let it get to my head 😔#if you knew me durinn my persona days you knew i had this terrible habit of getting adachi shit as soon as i got paid#and i PROMMY i dont intend to fall back into that spendin habit 😔 if you guys catch me buying more shit thats non essential or cosplay stuff#yell at me please ty#oh well 😔 here this is an investment watch ill draw daigo in the goofy outfit i got today#ill even give him some of the rings i go last time. because i forgot to Last Time ☠️☠️#anyway. guess im going home now. EW.#but im gonna watch that movie when i do.. hehe.....
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had a freaking. wild dream just now
#this has been an original post#personal spewage#clouds dreams#my entire city just got flooded#(for those just tuning in: i have a dreamscape that i frequently return to in my dreams thats vaguely based on my hometown + surroundings)#anyway i was in a specific neighbourhood downtown#in 'my' apartment (idk ive lived their before i think)#and yeah#there was just. a flood#the water level rose completely over my windows which. i was on like at least the 10-15th floor#cause i was above most of the surrounding non-highrises#freaking!! im so worried#there's usually some degree of continuity in my dreams but ive never had smth like this happen before#and i was literally just on the beach before that (in my dream)#i need to get up soon for work so def no more dreaming today but i!! really wanna know everything's okay!!#it was just me and wally at home#the water level was receding right at the end before i woke up#but like. jesus there's gonna be so much damage#i really hope that was just like. a one off dream in a familiar setting#talk about getting a jumpstart to your day#my heart is pounding#anyway im sure this prolly sounds wild and/or boring to others but like. idk man my dreamscape is so important to me#ive never had something on THIS scale happen to it before#theres been a legit zombie apocalypse lol which. that didnt carry over into other dreams (thankfully)#but im still worried
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...
#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did#bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried#another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one#machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem#god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8#and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration#ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a#personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up#bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like#yayyy vacation soon ☺️#ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine#ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought#my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home#god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great#i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc#thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days#and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst#move. bc again. im barely a functional person#god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive#down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno#unrelated
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its time for yet another brain game of am i like fully neurotic or was this genuinely not a cool situation . prize is jack shite and yet im playing anyways👍
#j.txt#vent#just like. to preface. im not bringing any of this up im just going to stew in it for the night and then move on as per usual#alright disclaimer made now i can get to the point. So. tonight is my close irl friends bday right but she didnt tell me about any plans#so i naturally assumed she was gonna do her own thing and not really celebrate. Ive had work all day and while working get a text frm her#asking if we want to go to this restaurant i introduced our group to for dinner. so i respond saying oh im off at this time if yall want to#go even tho its late i can. Never get a response so i assume theyll bring it up when i get back. get home and no ones here not a word abt#whats going on. i do my usual unwinding get ready to chill etc which takes abt half an hour. she comes back with our other mutual friends#and theyve already gone to the restaurant which is fine i get it. but they get back and say oh now we're going to this themed music night at#a club we've all been to before as soon as (other friend) changes. and then just. dont offer for me to come along or anything and leave.#which like. whatever its happened a hundred times before im used to it but Still. does it not even occur that I might want to participate??#if i had Any notice that this was happening I could have been getting ready instead of slacking around waiting for someone to get home#its so. i try extrememly hard not to be a downer or just invite myself to things bc I Know this is how they all operate but it does still#sting that it feels like im not even thought of if i dont happen to be in the room when plans are being made lol.#and obv I am Not bringing this up rn and ruining what im sure was a really fun night for all of them#its just truly a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation yknow. but such are the whims of fate and i shall endure as always✌️
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had fun at the rave
#had kind of a fucked up time bc i had to be the one to drive my designated driver home bc she smoked a joint that was laced with ??? idfk#same joint that i took a hit off of literally like a minute before her bc it was getting passed to randos#i got us to the lobby as soon as i notced she was acting fucked up ajd made her sit down and drink a cup of water before we left#not my first rodeo even though it was my first rave. im a good trip sitter#we're both home and safe now. she'll be okay shes already betteer. just high lol#like it didnt do fucking anything to me like that at all?? like what happened in that minute to make it do that#anyway i guess ill tag the cat bc this is a pic of him LOL#alaster
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🦋
#ive been in kind of a depressive low point for. a sec now lmao.#it swung down after the months of Bad Mania in response to the meds balancing out i think idk.#either way ive been in a weird state of disassociative depression for a couple months now#but i can feel it swinging back as the month goes on&we get closer&closer to autumn lmao.#right about now for a couple different reasons is when my Internal Balance starts to shift yearly in response to the anxiety#that i wasted all the sunshine. 🫠🫠🫠#idk. its putting me in that weird spot where my depressive episode isn't exactly Over yet#but i can already feel that buzzing in my bones going on lmao.#its also bringing up weird thoughts i guess as my brain scrambles for actual reasons to be so anxious#&just like when i wake up in pain that always bleeds over into reasons to be Angry not Anxious bc Angry is easier lmao.#like hypocrisy has been a topic of discussion in my life recently bc of everything back home&if i let my head spiral for too long#ill end up back at the point where my shithead ex told me for 3yrs that i was a hypocrite w double standards#w his primary example being that he Let Me talk to other guys but i didnt Let Him talk to other women#w the one sole example being how after i moved my entire life across an ocean to an entirely foreign place where i had no support but him#i was made extremely uncomfortable when i found out he'd been talking to his ex during the entire process.#so my attitude toward that translated into i guess a weird boundary that i never actually set bc he enjoyed to call me a hypocrite lmao.#its just weird having my thoughts slide from discussions about hypocritical actions involving Lahaina&its handling by the fake state#over to old thoughts about how i just let someone call me a hypocrite to my face for years bc he wanted to w no actual reason lmao.#&this sort of All Over The Board weirdness is really only something that happens in these strange Inbetween times for me.#... pls for the love of everything holy let this fucking be over soon lmao i solve these problems Poorly bc these time periods#wreck my impulse control lmao.
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