#had to vent about this a bit bc jfc

[perilegs]

went to the comment section of a video game woman and saw that people kill her because she can't be romanced. i've got no words

[dellinah]

I've been saying that 'soon ill feel like myself again' for so long that maybe it's time to accept this is who I am now and theres no old self to go back to anymore

[ftm-radio]

jfc okay I'm venting here, this is a vent post. don't reblog. replies are ok.

cw: trans bitterness (hullo that's me, the bitter ftm), mentions of dysphoria, passing/difficulty passing, (cis) sister drama

really tired of my Cis™ sister repeatedly telling me about how she's so scared to get too short of a haircut because she "doesn't want to look like a guy because, like, I don't ~identify~ as a guy" as if she really has any issue whatsoever with people recognizing her as a girl!

and today with her "I don't identify as a guy" thing. just the way she phrased it and everything really kinda pissed me off. just say you're not a guy you don't have to fucken use that word. esp since she's only been talking like this since I came out.

and its extra annoying bc we've had essentially the same conversation about her insecurities multiple times, and it's like she doesn't even think about how I feel hearing it. like if getting a damn haircut was enough to make everybody suddenly think ur a dude, my life would be so much easier. but it doesn't work that way and her acting like it does just... hurts. it frustrates me and makes me dysphoric bc having to reassure her that no, you won't look like a dude just bc you have short hair makes me think of how it's the same for me, except that I WANT to be seen as a guy. SO BADLY.

am I hypocritical because I get annoyed that my cis, feminine sister needs so many reassurances about her gender presentation? am I just being a dick?? MAYBE, IDK! like... if my sister was a trans girl, of course I'd understand her concerns. of course I would. but she has nothing to worry about because she's cis and her body has all the right parts and she doesn't have to do jack shit to get recognized as her gender.

like I fuckin WISH I had that. I wish my biggest concern about gender presentation and passing was if I grow my hair out a lil bit will ppl still see me as a dude? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

I know it isnt a competition to see who's allowed to feel insecure or not, I know that. but it just frustrates me so much. and I feel bad for getting so annoyed by it because I know my sister isn't trying to make me feel shitty and dysphoric and I know how insecure she is about some things, but she just... doesn't seem to hear me when I tell her not to worry.

idk. I'm slightly less frustrated now after typing all of this but I'm still a little peeved. might delete this post before long. we'll see.

if you read all of this I guess feel free to weigh in on the Is JT a dick or is this a reasonable frustration? question. and/or whatever else you might wanna say.

aight I'm out, I gotta finish my animal crossing dailies and then maybe I'll cheer up after some sketching 🤷🏻

[the-potter-analyst]

Chapter 8 - The Deathday Party

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text word of the day: Rumors

Just to share a personal story about rumors bc this is a short post, I was working part time during my year off between undergrad and grad school and was going to quit when I started school again. A few months before that, there were rumors spreading around about me already putting in my 2 week notice (idk how it works in other countries, but in the US you have to give at least a 2 week notice of you quitting for logistic reasons). At this point, I hadn’t talked to anyone at work about when I planned to leave or if I was leaving at all for that matter, so I have no idea who started the rumor, but eventually it came upon the ears of my manager and they confronted me about it. That’s actually how I found out about the rumor lmao. I had to be like no I’m not quitting now I have zero knowledge about what’s going on and give them a date of when I’m leaving for real. And this, my peeps, was the first time in my then 22 years of existence that I was the center of a rumor. I had a good laugh at least.

Ok but very little actually happened this chapter lol. Maybe that was why I had trouble forming concrete thoughts about “rumors” from my own reading, and having the podcast was helpful in organizing them a bit. I think my understanding of rumors is slightly different from the hosts, since I see it as spreading information that you don’t fully know the details of, or whether it’s truthful or not (unless you’re spreading something about yourself). Sometimes it’s misinformation, like you mistook smth a person said (i.e. Person A says what if, and Person B mishears it to be a fact), which is something that happens on tumblr all the time.... and the internet. The rumor about Dumbledore booking dancing skeletons for the Halloween feast would be an example of this. Like ppl are so excited about the feast that they’re making stuff up about cool things that could happen lol. Sometimes someone says smth about a specific person, or themselves, either out of malice or to build reputation. This would be Sir Nick telling Harry to talk about how Nick is frightening and impressive at his deathday party to make himself seem cooler. Gossip on the other hand can be about either true or false information, it can be for entertainment, to vent, or just to have idle chat. I think Hermione talking about Moaning Myrtle is gossip, because she’s experienced all of the things she said, but if say, Harry or Ron start spreading it to other people, then it becomes a rumor. That personal rumor I talked about earlier? I have no clue how to categorize it lol. Did someone mishear smth? Were they pulling it out of their ass? The world may never know.

I want to get into Filch and the Kwikspell a bit, since the hosts brought up something interesting in the podcast episode. Harry finds a infomercial letter on Filch’s desk about how to do magic easily. What Harry doesn’t understand is why Filch would have it, so he wants to talk to Ron and Hermione about this interesting piece of info he found out and can’t make sense out of. This is gossip lol. What we find out later is that Filch is a squib and the interesting thing brought up is how Filch might be overcompensating for the fact that he can’t use magic. So he hides the fact that he’s magic-less and creates this persona that he wants to torture students so that he can gain some amounts of respect (through fear). I can imagine Filch would face a lot more disrespect if it was common that he was a squib. I wonder if he later internalized his persona or if he always would have actually enjoyed hanging students from the ceiling by their ankles. Tbh if I was him, I’d probably get great satisfaction from that after all the shit Hogwarts students do and make him clean up asdfjhdf. I’m not trying to make Filch a good guy, but just imagine having to take an extra hour to scrub the floors bc some kid decided to walk around the castle wet and muddy. Ick.

I feel so bad for Myrtle jfc. I felt bad for her as a child, but now I have a fuller understanding of depression and the effects of bullying and I just,,, can’t help pitying her and feeling sad for her. She lived her living life being bullied and ridiculed, died at a particularly bad moment of depression, and now has to be stuck at this emotional point for the end of days. And still have to deal with being ridiculed. That fucking sucks.

I’ll lump Harry hearing the voice again and finding the message on the wall with next chapter’s post.

Small things:

Poor Ginny, she might not be sick but she’s already starting to look weaker D:

Interesting how both Vanishing Cabinets are introduced in the same book, wayyy before they actually become important. I think I assumed the Hogwarts cabinet was always in the Room of Requirement and then I realized that Peeves dropping it was the reason it was broken and put in the Room. I wonder how different book 6 would’ve been if this moment didn’t happen.

Sweet Boi Harry agreeing to go to Nick’s deathday party bc Nick was feeling down <3

Hermione mentions Myrtle’s toilet being out of order all year girl it’s been 2 (two) months. I wonder if Myrtle’s more emotional from the chamber opening again? At a subconscious level maybe.

Harry and Ron have missed every major feast so far this school year rip

I’ll take a moment to appreciate Sir Nick. He gets a bad beheading and has to deal with that for the rest of his afterlife sdjfskjkhf. But he’s also very sweet and caring, like he asked how Harry was doing even though he was dealing with some shit! He got Harry out of trouble from Filch! Nick may have had a shitty death, but he’s still a good man.

Previous: Chapter 7 - Mudbloods and Murmurs

Next: Chapter 9 - The Writing on the Wall

[maliafabray]

messes helping messes 📲 1/3

WHO - Malia Fabray, Scarlett St. James & Aerolyn Pierce ( @aerolynswitchpierce + @scarlett-st-james ), with very heavy mention of Rachel Berry

WHEN - 7/16/2019

TRIGGERS -  n/a - the mayhem twins are a mess and aero has to deal with them all by herself, may be triggering to some tbh 

NOTES - this is a group text between the three, initiated by Malia in her time of need and crisis. after a while, the texts are fired off in quick succession, so a bit of it may seem out of order; for the sake of the collective’s sanity, i’ve summarized this part, with the texts being under the cut. 

Malia texts Aerolyn and Scarlett after her scene with Rachel on 7/16/2019. She starts off saying that she’s fucked up things with Rachel somehow. Things are extremely skewed towards Malia, naturally, as any story would when being told by her. She tells them that when she told Rachel about their threesome in the woods, Rachel pointedly stated ‘We’re not together’. This hurts Malia’s feelings for no actual logical reason, hence her warped POV and words. Malia somehow manages to vent a little without saying anything of actual help or importance. 

Malia

Guys, I think I fucked UP

Aerolyn

What exactly did you do?

Scar

YASSS QUEEN FUCK IT UPPPP !!!

Malia

I told Rachel about our thing

Aerolyn

Oh boy

Scar

She jealous we didn't wait for her?? Bc 15/10 would 1000% be here for her joining in #js

Malia

scar stfu before ifuckin smack you I don't know guys, it's all like hella dank and like, i'm not it, i'm not here for it

Aerolyn

jfc Scar how'd you bring it up?

Scar

WOAH WOAH WOAH How was I supposed to know this was Super Serious Content ™ ??? You're fucking shit up like 25/7 Okay, so deadass what's the word? Ya girl mad or some shit??

Malia

I dunno, we were like..texting or whatevs and I kinda told her 'cause I didn't wanna hide it 'cause she's got this ex, right? Like, a shitty ex who went behind her back and fucked folks and so I didn't wanna be like him so I spilled the fuckin' tea and then she hit me with a 'we're not together.'

Aerolyn

oh fuck. she's upset. like good on you for being honest about it. and for wanting to be different.

Scar

Wait hold plz Why she mad again? Okay, so you aren't together??? Damn like why not tho???

Malia

She said that she's jealous and a little disappointed but that we're not together so there's no real reason for her to get mad n' stuff so here I fuckin' am, I guess.

Aerolyn

okay and what do you feel about all that? because she's saying she shouldn't have a reason to be upset. but she is. so like what is your next step here?

Scar

Yes. How do you feel about all that? I'm confused tho. So you're NOT together?? Wait, so what has this whole last month of being together all the time been about??? Yeah, what's the next step here ????

Malia

I don't fuckin' know! but I fucked up! And I don't know what to do or say. She says that nothin' has changed but deadass? I feel like some shit has changed and I have no idea what to do or what I feel. Or what I want. Fuck.

Aerolyn

Okay, back it up. What was the fuck up in the first place in your opinion? Was it the threesome? Was it telling Rachel about the threesome? Something else entirely? What do you think is the problem?

Scar

Yeah, okay, that. Answer the queSTIONS??? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???? Okay but serious, like what's she mad about? Like, is she the jealous type? Like is getting bitchy about you getting it on brand for her?? #unclear

Malia

The fuck up was...I don't know, I guess just not telling her beforehand. But like, I didn't think to fuckin' text her or whatever before we did our thing. Like, I guess, we had a game where I'm supposed to ask for permission before doin' a scene or whatever. I don't...know. SHE'S being unclear. And yeah, she's the jealous type but she deadass said we're not together like she used the /together/ italics and everything. And..said that this is just a game. It's just a game.

Aerolyn

Is that just a game or is that like...a /thing/. Because I feel like if it was just a came it wouldn't be such a huge deal. Oh dear. Like are you ready for the whole ass truth right now? Because those italics were definitely her self-defense mechanism. Do you really feel like this is just a game? Is that all you want this to be? Because I feel like that's something you might need to evaluate right now.

Scar

Wow, okay, wow. First off, like, Bombshell's going hard over there, but like also, her points are valid??? Like, did you catch the feels? Bc I'm p sure (like, 178% that she fucking did)

Malia

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

[braingoburr]

Vent about my Dad again.

Jfc we cannot have one peaceful day at my house. It reminds me almost of the " No you had fun yesterday" thing, except in the span of a few hours.

So I haven't seen my friend in over a year. I moved 2 hrs away from the durring LAST summer vacation, in the middle of covid. And I barely got to see them today, and we had fun walking around. We where out for like 3 hrs. It was nice. And the ENTIRE TIME. his Dad used the correct name &. Pronouns for me. And it was just so nice to know that, someone's Dad wasn't a total ass. It was so nice that Someone's Dad respected me.

Then when I got home it was total chaos. Everyones screaming, and pissed off. My little sister didn't want to eat her dinner as usual and mum blew up. Dad's just yelling at everyone and instead of helping sitting in his ass watching TV.

And when it finally settles down, he's watching The Punisher, and I start to doze off. But this pisses himm off. So he tells me to help my sister then go to bed. So I go do my sister's bed time routine. And start getting ready for bed. He calls me out, I had forgotten to clean the kitchen. And he's furious.

He going on in how He does everything. It's just frustrating. Even though he has literally 2 chores, and I usually help him with them THEY'RE LITTERALY TAKING THE BINS OUT IN THURSDAY'S, AND DOING HIS OWN LAUNDRY. ?????????

But then he was upset bc I was agitated, and was going off on , " you just saw your friend why are you so upset???" Like he doesn't go out with mum every Saturday for 2-3 hrs going to lunch and spending time with her.

I'm just upset that I tried to tip toe around him, get I still managed to piss him off. Then I had to hide for a bit to stop crying, bc then he would have been even more upset.

while doing the dishes I figured out how to put all this into words. And now I'm tired. But I can't stop thinking of the Pounds of Flesh trap so :/

[activatingaggro]

SIPARA NZINGA | 8.3 sweeps / 18 years old

off the western coast of hamavet, the farthest continent

(6,161 words)

There's bubbles still in your flaps when the gate opens, and you can finally step out.

The first hall that Wilcox leads you down is surreal! It's not so much a building, as it is a dome: the walls are curved high above you, high enough that her horns aren't even scraping the ceiling, and they're glass all the way through. You can see the water outside, sloshing against the glass, and the fish trudging through it. (Floating? Swimming?) There's goosebumps pricking on your skin from the air down here, but when you place your hand against the glass, it's even colder.

"Come along now, miss," Wilcox says, and you startle, turn on your heel to follow.

When ID had told you that he had a proposition for you, you hadn't quite trusted him! You and him.. well, you're complicated, right now, that's the problem. He lied to you. He lied to you, and abandoned you, and he didn't care enough to fix it, not for an entire half-sweep. And what's an apology to fucking that? You'd cried over him, for fuck's sake, and you'd made Pheres deal with it, for perigees and perigees.

.. but a half-sweep isn't too long, when the two of you'll live for at least three dozen of 'em. That's what he keeps reminding you, each time you start to snarl. And how're you supposed to stay mad, when he gives you opportunities like this? Proposition, he said, but this's a fucking favour, more like. "There's a fuschia looking for geneticists, my little hellion," he'd told you, all coy over the husktop, just this side of cloying, "and she's under the Queenpin's thumb, so I could get you in. It's research, ashmote, and more technology than you've ever seen in one place. Isn't this the sort of thing you do?"

You'd been a little suspicious, but how were you supposed to say no to that? Research! Actual research, in a field where they needed you, and where you could work with people for the first time - properly, without having to hide what you know, or how you learned it. You don't know much about ID's boss, but you know plenty about his business. And what's one gray-eyed pupa's education source, when everyone here was probably illegal as fuck?

Illegal, or fuschia.

He hadn't mentioned Wilcox was so tall, though. Or that she was quite this fuschia.

"This is the main lab," she tells you now, peering back over her shoulder. You don't like looking at her, much! ID loves seadwellers, but you've always been with Pheres: there's something about the way their skin moves that makes your skin crawl. It's too dull in spots where it ought to be bright! The fat's too thick, in all the places it shouldn't be at all. And when she smiles at you, it wrinkles her cheeks, and right under her eyes, and nowhere else.

Her pink eyes.

"I think you'll like it. I enjoyed the work that, ah, monseiur Comedy sent our way. You work on helminths?"

She's really, really tall.

"I read your papers," she prompts.

"Yeah -" There's an octopus on the wall, watching you through the glass as you walk through the next hall. There's seadwellers everywhere, clustered together at the tables, and.. there's only ten or so, scattered throughout the room, but this is more than you've ever seen in one place before. You draw your arms in closer, and if you're half-cuddling your bag, fuck anyone that'd look twice. "Um. Wait, nah, girl, soz. I work with, like, ectoparasites! Annelids, mostly. My base stock was, like, nereididae, originally, but I bred 'em to be calcified, and ---"

BT: <))) I told Wilcox I don't need help > So she sent you anyway <

BT: <))) Charming > She's wasting everyone's time <

AA: loool.

AA: mb you don't need help, bb. mb you need   G U I D A N C E. >;}

BT: <))) HA >

BT: <))) Of course > Why wouldn't I need help from a hemoanon <

BT: <))) Sweeps of education > But all of that blunts in the face of .

BT: <))) What > Bootleg schoolfeeds? <

AA: bb, pls.

AA: it's stolen orn fucking bust.

BT: <))) Of course > What was I thinking? <

BT: <))) Empress fucking forbid it's not illegal <

BT: <))) Because the rest of this isn't bad enough <

BT: <))) I'm in the lab > If you fuck up my prototype <

BT: <))) I'm feeding you to it >

"And who," she drawls, peering at you over her nose, "are you?"

Rostik Taalik is a lot of things. She's the only other landdweller here, for starters, even with the fins behind her ears. She's the only person your size, with barely four inches on you. She's one of the only folks your age, and she’s got the longest eyelashes you’ve ever seen on a troll.

And all of that means she's your designated lab partner for the night, as you decided when you walked in. Unfortunately, as it turns out, she's also a huge bulge munch.

"Fuuhao," you drawl right back, spite so thick that it feels like it ought to catch on your tongue. Your eyes are gray and your horns are capped for the night, the blunted edges of the round-end chafing at your skull each time you move, but you're not a lowblood, right now, and you're not going to let some upstart indigo start acting like she's got anything above you. "We spoke online, nookmunch. Now, scoot over, I'm sitting down here."

"Wilcox said you're working on pupation. And I'm supposed to help out." The device she's been staring at is big enough that it takes up a whole corner of the room. It looks sort of like a recuperacoon, if someone made a coon out of sopor: it's ridged like one, with the gentle fall and rise of any healthy device, but the sides are slick with slime that seeps out of it with every passing second, sliding towards the vents on the ground with the careless viscosity of pudding.

When you touch it, the slime clings in strings to your palm when you tug it away.

"Brilliant," Taalik says from behind you, dry. "Should I wait while you lick it?"

"Nah, dude, hard pass on that shit." You wipe off your hand on your pants, then turn to face her.

She's got purple all the way through her eyes already, and more jewelry in her face than you'd see in a tongue. She's playing with the ring in her lip as she watches you, eyes half-lidded, and thank god she's one of those folks who can't hide shit: her ears are round, her face is finned, but she's low enough that she doesn't make your skin crawl, like the fish, and her contempt's clear.

You might be in gray, but you know that look. She's already making up her mind on what caste you are, and how she feels about that.

Well, fuck her. She wants to make decisions? So are you.

"So, like, lemme see if I've got this straight. You want to, like -" You wish you had gum to chew! But your fangs are too sharp for that shit: the last time you'd stolen a pack from Laledy and tried it, you'd half slit your tongue. So you settle for shoving your thumbs into your pants, horns down just to show her how much you don't fucking care. "Start a second pupation, yeah? Crack us open, scrape out the bits, and start it over. But slight problem there, dude. You gonna breed up new new imaginal discs? 'cause we're kinda all out."

"And if you don't have those -"

She clicks her tongue at you, then flips her braids over her shoulder. "Congratulations. You've read a book.” She curls her lip at you, all contempt, and.. you should be focusing on that, but her lipliner’s tighter than you’ve ever managed. You’re not sure if you’re impressed, or if you hate it. “But obviously not enough, because you're still behind. We can insert that shit with viral carriers, dumbass. Set it up however they want. Venomsacks, broader shoulders, a bigger rack, different chrome - it's all in the research notes. Or did Wilcox not share that?"

"I've read the book, dude." You should pop her, honestly! Establish dominance the old-fashioned way: flip the laptop, that coffee, and the table right onto her lap, and see if she's still going to sass you after that. But you don't want to start a fight in the middle of the lab on your third night here. "But never mind all of the spy shit."

(The spy shit. You can't believe you're in coon with a bunch of seadweller fucking rebels.. and this girl.)

"What about the disks for the rest of you? How the fuck are you gonna keep the bits that you want coming back properly?"

"Never mind. Did Wilcox send you to waste my time?" She looks like a land-dweller, but when she blinks at you, languid, it's like watching one of the fish. The way she does it is all fucking wrong. "Because," she says, flat, turning her attention back to her husktop, "that's shit we've already got covered. When you enter the cocoon, it'll pick up on your pre-coded disks."

"You mean the ones that melted in the second instar?" you mock, flipping your ears forward, and she looks back up.

AA: tweet tweet, mothernfuckern.

AA: do i gotta lay out, like, birndseed to get you to come out? bc if so: n/n/n, soz, am not doing it.

AA: you get shitty old brneadcrnumbs like evernyone else, and you will fucking like it.

LB: how could I refuse with that kind of an offering

LB: what’s going on?

AA: ty, ty. i knew you'd fucking love it.

AA: i'm tlking to ppl who arne kind of yrn ppl. i mean, not rnly, they'rne all fucking fish? but they'rne   Y RN   P E O P L E   kind of ppl.

AA: so i was wonderning if you can gimme any deets?

AA: and i'll give you deets back, ofc. >:}

LB: you’ll have to give deets to get deets tbh

LB: my kind of fish people doesn’t give me a lot to work with

AA: jfc, dude.

AA: 'kay, bettern way of putting it. >:}

AA: have you hearnd anything abt a nearn-tyrnian doing, like, rnesearnch? igenetics rnesearnch?

LB: hmm

LB: I think I know who you’re talking about

LB: been tapping up pre-ascension scientists for something or other right?

AA: lol, y.

LB: what do you need on her?

AA: uhhh. idk, dude, yrn the infotrnoll.

AA: how about..

AA: how likely is she gonna trny to shove me in a cocoon? >:}

AA: is that a thing that, like, ppl arne sayin'?

LB: she’s tapping you?

AA; lmfao, n.

AA: she tapped me like, a week ago.

LB:

LB: and you’re asking me this now

AA: looool.

AA: yeah, well, bettern now than nevern, rnight?

AA: she's a fish, i ain't exactly, like, supern wornrnied, herne. so chillll. i've filleted bettern folks than hern. >:}

AA: and i got info forn you in exchange, so, like, don't  F U S S.

AA: how would you feel if you could just totes change yrn face?

LB: ok well I haven’t heard of anyone getting ganked and so far everyone I know of has responded to quads

LB: but also no one has left

LB: does Hadean even know where you are

AA: 'kay, cool.

AA: that's abt all i need to know, lmao. like, i'm prnetty surne nobodies bailed, bc this is fucking wicked?

AA: but y, wanted to check. >:}

AA: and ofc he doesssssss.

AA: wtf kinda q is that?

LB: idk he seems like he’d be a little freaked out about you doing shit on a seadweller’s turf

LB: it’s a little different than taking a fish down in the ring

LB: do you have an escape plan?

AA: loool.

AA: he prnobs is, lbrn.

AA: but w/e, he trnusts me to handle my shit, and i trnust him to handle his.

LB: what will you do if things go bad?

AA: dude, i'm yrn doctorn, yrn not mine. dnw abt it, 'kay?

AA: but fwiw, i totes have a rnoute alrneady planned.

AA: and if anything goes 2spoopy4me, i will pop down a vent, get out into the shipbay, and follow the sewage outlet all the way back up top.

AA: nbddd. evernyone else herne is like, fucking six footerns, and it's a squeeze forn   M E.

LB: i might not be your doctor but this isn't medical. you did say that she was more my people

LB: and maybe delete your actual plan. are you sure things are encrypted on your end of things

AA: y, y. i'm just sayin' i know what i'm doing, losern. >:}

AA: and ofccccc.

AA: this entirne convo's deleting off my end aftern this shuts, dnw.

LB: what sort of stuff is she working on anyway?

AA: evernybody herne's into genetics. and fixing shit.

AA: like, she gave us a full hourn long goddamn lecturne on abt how grn8 it would be if we could just F I X ppl, instead of culling them.

LB: is there one big project you're working on or a bunch of smaller ones

AA: bunch of tiny ones. but they all feed into one big one.

AA: even tho idk if ppl arne rnealising that yet, lmao.

AA: wtfevernnn, waderns arne fucking dumb. >:}

LB: is everyone else there a seadweller?

LB: also do you know what the big project is yet

AA: y, me and m arne the only airnsacks.

AA: and y. loool.

AA:

AA: how would you feel if you could just totes change yrn face?

AA: it's that. >:}

LB: oh huh

LB: definitely useful

LB: literally no way the empire would like that

LB: also whose m

AA: the othern airnsack herne, brnah.

AA: so therne's yrn info. tyvm forn yrns, yrn aid has been apprneciated.

AA: we cool?

LB: yeah sure

LB: be safe

AA: loool. you too.

AA: don't get locked in any morne basements, bb.

You’ll give props where props are due. When you hit Taalik, she barely flinches. She just pauses, rubbing her jaw like she’s more shocked than anything else, and watches you.

It takes a moment to swallow the snarl trying to rip all the way out of your throat. But you manage to keep it down to nothing more than a rattle. “I’d, like, say now you apologise,” you sniff, “but obvs your lusus didn’t raise you properly, so what-the-fuck-ever.”

“And what,” she says, her fingers still resting on the pale spot on her jaw, “am I apologising for?”

If you’d had more time, you should've gone for her nose.

(But it’s a cute nose. You don’t want to break it, mostly, not until she starts talking.)

“We’ll just pay off the lowbloods,” you mock, “and get them to test it. Like - are you for real? You’re just going to pluck some poor kids off the street, and turn them into - like - fucking labrats?”

“Would you rather we didn’t pay them?” She finally lets go of her jaw, and part of you wants to bolt back when she steps in. She’s indigo. Even if she wasn’t high enough to make your skin crawl, there’s something uncanny about her, and the way she moves. The way she smiles, on the rare occasions you’ve wrestled one out of her.

(Dry, mean, at everyone else’s expense - but still a smile.)

Taalik’s the best out of everyone in this lab. She’s the only other landdweller, and when you’re surrounded by gills.. well, that’s worth more than just chrome, isn’t it? But you’ve watched when her sleeves slide up, taken in the tight coils of her arms when she’s getting annoyed enough to start snatching things.  She might be the only one you want to deal with..

But that doesn’t mean you want her in your space. She’s still indigo, and you’re pretty sure she could make a fair try at ripping you in two.

.. but that doesn’t mean you’ll flinch, either, as she steps in close. “No, I want you to be decent,” you snap, tossing your curls, and you let your shoulder clip her as you stride past. There’s a whuff of something that might be a laugh behind you, but you’re going to fucking ignore that. “C’mon. If we’re gonna start planning for test subjects, anyway, dude, we ought to do it right. Pay some olives - if we want this to work on everyone, we might as well start with the median, anyway..”

AA: pheeeeeern.

AA: wtf do you do when someone's rneally, rneally cute.

AA: but also, like, yrn prnetty surne they'rne legit 100% chaotic evil.

RS: / mmm / my assumption / personally / has always been to pile them /

RS: / but i think hadean might have some objections to that /

AA: hey!

AA: fuck off, i'm chaotic neutrnal at best, tyvm.

At the end of the second week, everything goes to fucking hell.

Pulling an all-day work session had been kind of dumb. If Hadean was here, he would've hauled you forcibly to your 'coon after the first six hours - but he isn't here, and you've got to take advantage of that. When Taalik had drifted off to sleep, you'd kept working with half a mind of impressing her.

Or, no - not impressing her. Proving her right! She's been leaning on you more and more over the last two weeks, and last night, she'd asked you if you knew how to set up a time-released enzyme package.

By the time you'd found out you didn't, it was too late to ask for help, and the only thing that mattered was fucking doing it. If the sun was up by the time you managed, who cared? You'd done it.

And now you were going to haul back coffee and waffles before she woke up, so you could hold it over her in the best kind of way.

Or, at least, that was the plan. There's voices drifting out of the cafeteria when you come up near, which's unusual enough to make you pause.

"I still think this is unneccessary," Wilcox says, and there's something strange enough about her voice that you stop mid-step. The hall's empty, but the door to the cafeteria's open, as always. And it doesn't sound like it's full. "You're not really allowed to be in here, you know?"

There ought to be the clank of forks and plates by this point. Or at least the rip of the nasty protein bars that half of the fish down here eat. Instead, when you flip your ears forward..

Under the whispers, someone's crying.

"Don't worry!" someone else says, and it's a new voice that you haven't heard before. Temasekian, part of your pan pings, helpful, but that's strange: everyone here's further north than that, and you're the last person that Wilcox hauled in. The gates, as she told the lot of you, had closed, and her party had been assembled. Every project had a team. All you had to do now was make them work. "Warrants procured, lah. Nothing illegal here!" A beat. "Hope there's nothing illegal," they - she - teases, and there's amusement soaking her words like salt. "Right, yeah?"

"I don't think you'll believe me if I say no."

"Probably not~!" There's a thump. You should turn and bolt. You should be burrowing deep into the vents now, and heading straight for the dockyard. You should be doing a lot of things, but it feels like your feet are lead.

Not quite lead. You can take a step forward, silent as a mouse, and when you do, around the doorframe, Wilcox comes into view. There's a girl standing in front of her, her hair shining as bright as bone in the dim of the room. Her horns are long enough that they're framing Wilcox's neck, for all that her head's ducked down. If she moved too suddenly, or turned her head, they could slice right into the skin, easy as butter.

Maybe that's why Wilcox has her fins pinned back, for the first time you've seen her. "There's really no need for that," Wilcox tries again, brisk, as the girl steps away. The lighting in the cafeteria is poor, as always: it's been a joke for longer than you've been here that it ought to be replaced, but half of the seadwellers were born in the depths, and they'd objected. (You don't know why you're thinking of this now. You don't know why you're still standing here.)

The lighting is poor, but when Wilcox shifts, it hits her wrists, and the cuffs shine red.

Farther out of sight, there's a shuffle of feet. Then a thud, and a shriek.

The girl pivots to look. You sink into the shadows, your pumpbiscuit racing, but her eyes slide right past you, off into a distance you can't see. "Hey!" she says, and at the same time, Wilcox surges forward, fins flaring out.

Then someone wails. You recognise her voice: Hoshio, you think, the one with the fins shaped like the summer sun. "Wrong answer," someone else says, light. Their voice's deeper than the white-haired girls. "Sorry, sweetheart! Want to try again?"

"Hdijah!" the girl snaps. "Be nice! Royalty!"

You turn on your heel, and bolt.

Taalik's awake when you slide the door open. (Slide, not slam: if everyone's in the cafeteria, well, the two of you've been overlooked. No point in drawing attention in, now.) She's half-sprawled over your desk, shoulders slouched, her braids half-out of the twist she'd pulled them into.

"What's going on?" she asks, barely looking up. She's got such a long neck! Every time you look at it, you think she ought to have gills there, but the skin's smooth as the skin of her hands.

"Imps."

"Really. Did Falric finally succeed in summoning demons? Or did you just get into the mind honey?" She drags her finger across the screen. The video scrolls forward. The girl is saying something peppily about mascara, and eyeliner, and the best way to repel an auspistice with both --

So you slap your palm down in the center of it, and Taalik jerks her head up so quickly, you think she's going to bite you. If it was anyone else, she'd have hissed at you. As is, she just stares, eyelashes fanning over her eyes, like she thinks that makes her look unimpressed. "I should break your hand for that," she says, but she doesn't so much as move. "What, Fuuhao?"

"Imperials," you say, slowly, "are in the facility, and they arrested Wilcox, and they snapped Hoshio's arm. Like, she doesn't fucking have one, anymore. So what d'you think they're gonna do to me and you?"

She considers you for a moment. Then she sighs, pushes back her chair in a scrape of metal on metal. "Well. You better go, then. Like hell they'll do anything to me." She's so brisk. "But you?" Side-long, she looks at you. "No point in hanging around."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've got dirt in your veins, dumbass. Are we really going to argue about that?" She's bustling along, even as you're sidling back towards the bathroom. There's a vent you'd scoped out there, the first night. It's just big enough for you to fit into, if you duck your horns, and you'd spent an hour each night since then tracking it to the shipyard, and counting how many steps it takes. You hadn't had the opportunity to try it, yet, but. It can't be too hard. You know you'll fit.

It just won't be pleasant, but when you think of going back into the hallway -

You won't. Better the vents.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving," you say instead, cracking the door.

She's shoving things into the bag, but she looks up. The look isn’t quite a smile! It’s more.. a curl of her lips, all dry and brittle, like that’s the only way she knows how to. "Try not to die."

That's about as friendly as you're going to get, you think.

The scramble through the vents is about as cramped as you expect. But if you keep your horns down, at least, they don't scrape, and there's enough clunks and sighs of machinery that no one thinks to look up.

AA: ico.

AA: are you here?

AA: because i kind of

AA: aw, shit.

AA: everything’s kind of fucked up right now, and i really, really could use some help.

You’re halfway across the shipbay when the door crashes open, and the girl saunters in.

(Not the girl. Nanako Bonjou, ID had told you, words rattling across the front of your screen so quickly that you’d barely had time to read them. Twelve sweeps, oliveblood with strong telekinesis, IPC --

Where’s the rest of her battery, sweetheart? Because fuck her, you’re going to have to worry about the rest of that, and at least some of them ought to be sick --)

“Où es-tu?” Nanako calls out. “Où es-tu, ma petit souris? Montre-toi! Montre-toi, où que tu sois!”

The ground is dry under foot, and you’ve had sweeps of practice. The first thing you’d done, back in the room, was strip off your boots: now you’re down to socks, and when you launch yourself across the pavement, it’s as silent as you can manage. Her ears are flat, inflexible little things! She can’t hear you, if you try hard enough.

If you can keep your pumpbiscuit from giving you away. It’s pounding like a drum, so loud that you can barely here her off in the distance. All you want to do is get to the sewage outlet, but that’s out in the open, right where she can see it. Right now, she doesn’t know you’re here.

So you dive underneath one of the ships, instead, wriggling and kicking. The metal scrapes at your skin, and you have to slow down so that it doesn’t tear. What if they spot the blood, and try to catalogue it? What if your name comes up? You’ve never paid that much attention to science. You don’t know what they could do with a piece of hair, or a scrape of skin, or blood --

Fear is hard. You’ve never been one to be afraid of anything, not really, and if you hadn’t spent so much time calming Pheres down, you’re not sure you’d recognise the way your hands are going clammy, or the tightness in your chest. But this girl could kill you.

This girl will kill you, if she can. Taalik’s an indigo. The rest of the scientists are all violets -

- and her partner had still snapped Hoshio’s arm like it was so much tinder.

What’s a neck, compared to that?

“Sounis,” Nanako sings, and you can see her boots as they step by. You don’t breathe. Your phone is on silent, but you don’t dare to check it: ID’s advice had been for you to get the fuck out, and not wait for him to do something to help you.

(”You’ve gone and buried yourself under a ton of saltwater, darling,” he’d said, distressed: “I’m going to try, but I just don’t know what you want me to do, here!”)

(Like he hadn’t been the one to tell you about this.)

(It’s not fair to cling to his coat-tails: you’re not seven anymore, and he’s not your quadrant. But part of you’s resentful all the same.)

THat’s fine, though. You’ll make it be fine. You haven’t relied on ID in a half-sweep: you don’t need him now, not when it’s just you and a single girl in the bay. You’ll fight her yourself, if you need to, and with that thought, you slink out from under the ship enough to look.

When you peer out, she’s standing in front of the sewer outlet, just waiting.

That’s fine.

You don’t know much about ships. But you know enough to recognise a HMS Starbruiser when you see it, after all the nights Riccin spent trying to explain them to you. “They’re the fucking best,” she’d told you, practically curling in on herself from enthusiasm, “and they’re pure magnesium, girl, that’s the best part about it. Pure fucking - you can’t get better than that, in terms of weight, in terms of goddamn quality.” They were so expensive that the two of you’d barely been able to understand the price, back when she’d finally gone and found a listing online. And then, barely a perigee later, they’d all been recalled.

Except this one, apparently. There’s a fuel line, right above your head, brushing against your ears. When you sidle back and give it a yank, just hard enough for your prosthetic to stir, the line gives.

Another yank, and it gives.

The spray of gas hitting the ground sounds like thunder in the silence of the hall. She must hear it. She has to. So you’re sidling back before it’s even hit the ground, and as soon as you’re back on your feet, you lean forward and give the back of the ship a shove. The fangs of your prosthetic biting in stings, more than it should after two weeks of healing. You can almost feel the siphon of blood as it pulls in -

- but it’s worth it, because a moment later, when you shove the ship again, the brake snaps somewhere underneath it. It lurches forward, uneasily at first, but with the minor slope of the ground rapidly giving it momentum. You’ve only got a second to fumble your lighter out of your pocket. A flick of the switch, then you toss it over your shoulder, hands shaking.

You don’t stay to watch. You’re already bolting when there’s a sizzle behind you, and then, a scarce second later, you feel the heat as the fuel line catches fire.

It’s when the ship’s hull catches fire that you hear it, though: the crackle of metal catching flame, and the shriek of the bolts, already beginning to protest under the new heat. Ducking behind a new ship, there’s a shriek and crumple of metal behind you, loud enough that it makes your soundflaps pin.

But you have to keep moving. There’s another ship that you give a shove, hard enough that it leaves you shaking, but it’s sliding right towards the flaming mess in the center. The air’s full of smoke already, black and billowing up at your feet, not at all deterred by the shriek of the sprinklers above flicking on. The smoke tickles at your lungs. It burns at your throat, and pulling your shirt over your nose doesn’t do anything to stop it. Pulling up the hood of your jacket helps a little, but not much.

It’s fine, you remind yourself. You’re not going to be here long, and the fish inside the labs -

- well, if they’re still alive, you hope you didn’t just blow up their ship.

(You hope Taalik’ll be fine. “Try not to die,” she’d told you, and you didn’t even think to say anything back.)

There’s crates along the side of the shipbay. You duck into those, and now.. all you have to do is wait. So you count to sixty, hidden neatly behind the cargo, and try to breathe in through your mouth. The girl will have bolted for the ships. IPC agent, ID had said, and an expensive model like a Starbruiser - well, it’s got to have been hers, doesn’t it?

And even if it isn’t, there’s six tons of water above you, and more below. A single crack in the frame of this place will drown the lot of you, from the fuschia on down. She’s a telekinetic. She’s probably securing a net over the flames even right now, siphoning out the oxygen and snuffing them before anything can blow.

It’s been sixty seconds. She has to. And in the meanwhile, the smoke’s burning all the way through your lungs, and you know the sort of damage that does. The sort of shit you’re probably breathing in.

(You didn’t get away from the explosion as quickly as you should’ve, you think. Your flaps hurt. Your bulbs hurt. Your body hurts, in a way you can’t tell if it’s from blood loss, or the explosion, and that’s doing nothing to stop the frantic patter of your heart.)

She’s going to be at the ship, and you have to go, you have to go now. So you take a shaky breath, you duck out of your hiding place, and you make for the sewage outlet.

She’s not there. It’s clear, and there’s a weight off your shoulders. The air is full of smoke, and your body aches, and she’s going to kill you if she finds you, but - she didn’t. She isn’t going to. And you’re half-way into the pipe when something snatches you by the back of the neck, and hauls you out.

There’s a burn on her cheek, shining a sickly green in the light. Her eyes are red, red as the cuffs around Wilcox’s wrist, and you’re twisting to swing a fist right in her face before you’ve even processed who you’re looking at.

It’s like punching a wall. You shriek, pulling away from her, curling your arm in on yourself, and she just sighs, shaking her head. There’s a thousand warning notes flashing in front of your eyes, wailing about damage, and the fangs of your prosthetic are sinking in, tighter and tighter, to try and fix it.

“Merci, ma sounis,” she scolds you. There’s soot on her nose. The edges of her hairs are burned black, frayed in the dark. “Hadn’t run, wouldn’t have chased, yeah? But you ran! And you broke things. Friend built ship! What supposed to say? Rebel blew it up? Shame on you.”

You want to say something witty. All that comes out is a snarl, instead, but all of your thrashing isn’t doing anything to free you: it’s like being held by iron, and the only result you get is an exasperated cluck. “Aah. How old you? Seven? Wilcox all wrong, wrong, wrong, shouldn’t be done. Should’ve known better. Bad enough, pulling guppies in.”

“Can no do nothing about guppies. But mice?” She shakes her head, sending the white locks flying. “Sorry,” she says, and maybe it’s even real. You don’t care. There’s brown crowding your eyes, blocked only by the way you keep blinking, and you - you don’t even know why you’re bothering, honestly. She’s going to cull you, and you don’t know what you’re going to do, and you didn’t tell Hadean, and you didn’t tell Pheres, and -

"Sorry,” she says again, and draws her hand back again. This time, you can’t exactly stop her, not with your prosthetic shattered. All you can do is thrash, but a heel to the gut doesn’t do anything - your leg bounces off of her psi like armor, and her grip is iron. Your hood falls back. All you can do is pin your ears back, and hiss.

(You’re going to die, and nobody is ever going to know.)

But when your hood falls, her face blanches. “Poivre?” she breathes, and then she takes a step back. A moment later, she seems to realise you’re still in her hand: she drops your collar, as quick as she’d snatched you up, and when you land on your feet, already staggering back, she doesn’t try to follow you.Her face’s as pale as her hair.  Only for a moment, though, and then there’s green flooding her cheeks, all at once. Her hand falls. Your pumpbiscuit is pounding like a drum, too loud for you to make out more than the shapes of the words that she’s saying.But there’s a hand on her mouth, and when your hiss fades into a cough, wet and raspy even past the thump of your blood, just like that, something in her crumples.She doesn’t turn away from you. She just takes a step back, and then another, her eyes taking you in like she’s seeing you for the first time.You’re missing something, here. You should figure it out - but all you can think about is the outlet, right behind her. When you take a shaky step towards it, one hand on your throat, she doesn’t move. And even the second doesn’t illict a reaction.So you dive into the pipe, instead, and run.

[ritingsandwramblings]

(For the risky asks) -do you drink water with or without ice in it? -if you draw or write, (please) show some of your really old work -whats something thats made you laugh recently? (If you dont wanna answer these thats totally ok!!)

Im a pretty open book so I'm cool answering these haha. And all my old writing is online somewhere for anyone to find so feel free to go read some!! It's all shit and all phanfics but idk if you're into shitty phanfics my wattpad is wattpad.com/dearevanphansen and has all my old fics and some cringy still shitty newer fics. So I actually always drink water with ice as I am a white privileged princess who won't drink room temperature water. It's so weird and warm to me. I can deal with cold bottled water or cold water from the fridge without ice, but I won't drink tap water without ice. It tastes weird and gross and once again I'm a white privileged princess. So ik I have old drawings somewhere but here are links to all my old cringy fics First fic ever published: a Luke Hemmings fic (5SOS) called Poisoned Hearts (bc I'm emo asf): http://my.w.tt/UiNb/SoPdYjpDdEMy first phanfic called When Two Poles Collide (every time I read the name I used to read it to the tune 'when both our cars collide' from Helena by mcr lmao I was an emo fuck): http://my.w.tt/UiNb/ttdE8YtDdEMy first (phan) imagine called My Eyes Had Begun To Fade With Lost Hope While Yours Brightened With Love bc that's hella emo and edgy and jfc I had a thing for long ass titles that could probably be a fall out boy song title lmao (actually low key still proud of this but I only remember the plot not how shitty it's written so it's probably actually really bad lmao): http://my.w.tt/UiNb/4UncSaCDdEMy first fic on tumblr:Dan POV:
I say waiting for Phil to return to our game. We were in the middle of a round of Mario Kart when his phone rang, both of us groaning at having to pause in the middle of the race. I hear bits and prices from Phil’s end of he phone, including “why me?”, “nonono I’d probably end up killing him!”, and “but he hates me and I’m not good handling him!” I finally heard Phil groan and reluctantly agree to whatever was wing asked and hang up. He walked back into the lounge, obviously grumpy. 
“What was that all about?” I questioned, a bit worried by his expression.
“That was my aunt, he wants me to babysit her son this evening so she can go out,” he grumbles.
“Oh. Can’t anybody else do it?” 
“No. Apparently she asked others but they all had excuses. Sick, not home, whatever they could think of I’m sure. And she’s a cheapskate, so she’s not gonna pay somebody to watch him.”
“Well he can’t be /that/ bad! How old is he?” I try lightening his mood, only to fail. 
“Almost two. But he’s way to hyper. He never likes to sleep, or clean up after himself, but he insists on playing all day and making a huge mess!” Phil’s venting about the child now. 
“Well, it’s alright. I’ll help you watch him!” I offer, speaking before thinking about it.
“Really!?” He seems both excited and shocked. 
“Of course! This is obviously stressing you and I hate seeing you stressed, so why not,” I lean forward and peck his lips, “How bad can it be, right?”
~~~~~~Later That Day~~~~~
“This is complete mayhem! How can one small child create such ruckus!?!” I yell to Phil as we sit with our backs to the door locked inside my bedroom, “Especially a toddler!” Phil runs his fingers through his already messed up fringe ad shrugs. 
“How the hell are we gonna control him!?” He fusses as the small footsteps run up and down our hallway. We brainstorm for a moment before I come up with something.
“Mario! Every kid likes Mario Kart!” I yell excited. Phil kisses my lips.
“Dan, you’re a genius.” I beam at his comment. We slowely unlock the door and peek our heads out. The hallway is clear, the noise of the small child comin from the lounge. 
“Hey, Jacob,” Phil calls down the hall, “wanna play some Mario Kart?” An excited squeal followed by the potter patter of a toddler running is heard until we see Jacob staring up at us. We lead him back to the lounge, which we find a complete mess with papers everywhere and our stuffed animals all over the floor. After setting him up to play, Phil and I pick up a bit, glad Jacob has calmed down. Once the whole flat is cleared we come back to find him asleep. Phil smiles, happy and content. 
“Thank you,” he sighs.
“For what? It was your idea to set up Mario,” I reply. 
“For staying with me. For helping with him even though he’s a handful.” I smile and kiss his lips.
“Of course.”••••Feel free to ask more questions and look at how cringy I was!!!!!

[pastel-popplio]

1, 4, 19 and 4 for those oc asks!!

You put 4 twice so i just went ahead and did 44 lmao

1. Your first OC ever? Ohhh boy, if we're talking very first character ( bc i didn't know the term then ) , I made up this little dog when I was 3 years old, her name was Puppy. She was a tiny pure white maltese/poodle mix, and I never drew her surprisingly but I pretended to be her whenever my sister and I played pretend if it had to do with animals or I'd toss her into our games with a random toy to act as the body since I didn't have any white dog plushies. Even back then I was a total angsty fuck when it came to backstories because she was always either abused by her owners or abandoned and living half-starved as a stray ( often in the cold rain ) and she'd be super grateful to anyone who helped her/taught her the ways of the streets. She was very playful and sweet but quick to cry when someone was mean to her and I loved her so much dude oh man, I don't think I completely stopped using her ( in the rare times I still played with my lil sister ) until around 5th grade maybe?

I'm super tempted to try and draw her now not gonna lie, in my head she basically looked like the lil maltese in the DOGZ gba game mixed with disney lady and the tramp style lmao

4. An OC you rarely talk about? I'll go with my ( very self-indulgent ) oc Xarrnacc ( pronounced Zar-nack ) . I made her up like a day after I started binging the Ju/stice Leag/ue animated series on netflix a couple years back lmao. Here is the link to her ref pics ( don't bother reading the info bc it's either old or stated below lmao )

http://pastel-popplio.tumblr.com/post/145593516169/oh-btw-guys-here-is-another-dc-oc-of-mine-but-she

http://scourgefeather.deviantart.com/art/Xarrnacc-bust-doodle-614140861

GET READY FOR AN INFO DUMP BC I NEVER GET TO TALK ABOUT OR DRAW HER BUT I THOUGHT ABOUT HER SO MUCH WHEN I MADE HER MMMM

She's a horribly shy alien babe who's a scientific genius ( especially with physics and chemistry ) and also studies Ice Magic. She worked as an engineer for the highest members of her planet in the capital city ( a lot of the planet is still entirely natural resources bc they care more about their ecosystem than we do, so the other scattered inhabited areas make up a small enough portion that they only need the one really big city for the government/royals to rule everyone else from ) , but was eventually framed by a few jealous coworkers. The Mistress ( her planet's ruler who's basically a mix of President and Queen ) had no choice but to ( reluctantly ) exile her from the planet for the severe crime/rule infraction.

She was sent to Earth to die in the arctic ( since not only was it rumored to be inhospitable, but her planet didn't know Earth had really moved past the ice age since it's so far away. They pretty much spun a wheel of dangerous planet names and launched her there ) , but ended up meeting an old man in the cold barren area who was charged with the noble duty of protecting a hidden library of old spellbooks. She befriended him and lived/with worked under him as a fellow magic user until he was killed while on a trip. She didn't know of his death until a couple days after he'd left, when a few members of the League tracked down the library while investigating an unrelated magic incident and she attacked them ( in an attempt to defend the books from strange intruders ) . Once they managed to convince her they weren't thieves and explained they'd found his murdered body in the snow a half-hour's trek from the library, she ended up joining them on what was supposed to be a one time mission to assist with the magic part.

She was inducted into the League permanently after that and wanted to learn more about Earth, so she started living in the space station headquarters with Mart/ian Man/hunter, who sometimes helps teach her written english ( she learned the verbal language earlier when the old man dug up a spellbook that allowed the two of them to communicate by swapping memories ) . She's pretty close to The Fla/sh since he's the friendliest, and he usually is the one who forces her out of space hiding to experience the magic of actual society, fast food diners, and hitting on the ladies ( the latter of which has her a nervous wreck plz stop dragging her on spontaneous blind double dates ) . She admires WW a lot for her confidence and physical fighting skills, and sometimes they have talks or training sessions together. She lowkey has a crush on Haw/kgirl but she's taken and also intimidating af so Xarrnacc knows she's kinda screwed there oops. Super/man is okay but usually too busy being a leader with a double life to interact with her outside of missions, she's terrified of ol' Bats he's very intimidating. Doesn't really feel one way or the other about Gr/een Lante/rn, she doesn't talk to him much so they don't know each other really.

She adores books and can sometimes spend hours in big libraries if she has another league member to accompany her and help translate. She's not huge on public parks, if only because she had a very bad experience once when The F/lash took her and she mistook a squirrel as acceptable food and thought hunting was allowed and tried to eat one in front of a screaming child.

Fun fact: her species is deathly allergic to chocolate, something she found out the hard way after The Flas/h offered her a bite of his Hershey bar and had her in the League ER for like 2 weeks RIP

I have more but this is long enough jfc

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you ( and explain why ) . This boi Darren right here means a ton to me!

https://toyhou.se/606692.darren

Not only is he a pretty personal character bc of certain personality aspects ( hello shyness/social anxiety venting lmao ) or the fact that he was one of my main sort of daydreaming ocs ( aka a character that I would shove into different show universes and think about how he'd interact with everyone when I was bored ) before I finally found him his home, but he was the very first rp character I ever made! Joining the group he was in ( when I was a smol ms paint artist ) helped me learn a ton about everything from rping itself to cat anatomy to writing to character development and all kinds of stuff inbetween, and I made so many friends because of it, even one of my best, who is actually the founder of the group! I never would be near where I am today without that group, or this adorable character that I loved to bits and motivated me to draw him 24/7 lmao.

Plus he has cool lightning powers and a pet puffin, and the silver tabby w/blue eyes is my favourite cat design ever probably

44. Something you like about your ocs in general? The amount of detail I give them, be it personality, backstory or just little goofy facts! I've gotten a lot of compliments on the depth of my chars before, and I really do try to make them all unique from each other!Thank you so much for asking these bby! 💜

[lilragekitten]

I just need to vent because I honestly just kinda want to scream into the void, but I also don’t want to bug anyone with all my shit so it’ll all be below a read more. It probably won’t be pretty or thought out well but I just wanna get it off my chest/mind whatever. Thanks :)

So last friday at work I had my mom’s power of attorney, who is also one of her volunteer caregivers, and don;t even get me started on the bullshit that that is, jfc, show up and tell me that she’s concerned about my moms health and that apparently mom wants to go into a nursing home. Well one day she does and then the next day she doesn’t. Mom has super bad memory problems, maybe settling dementia, idk, but like it’s bad, and since dad died (2008) I’m honeslty super surprised she’s still alive. Anyways, this lady gives me a letter that basically says that mom wants me to have the house if/when she gets in teh home, she’d like to stay through the summer, but her, the lawyer and the nursing homes doctor need me to ‘help’ them talk to mom and im just like????

Noone ever tried to contact me previous to this. Well she did a few years ago when mom went to the hospital and then shes like , AGAIN, while IM AT WORK, on teh phone, “Your mother is in hospital and as her POA and I just lost it because I have no idea who this lady is?? and then I find out shes a caretaker, which aren’t supposed to be given power over clients? but for some reaosn this is all OK??? But mom downplayed me visiting her, at this time I was calling like two-three times a week, and visiting in person once a week, but when I was sick, or working nightshift I wouldn’t go bc I didnt want her to get sick and I was tired dammit. I lost it a bit at mom like why would you let this stranger be POA and shes like “This way she’ll be my friend” and isnt that the saddest shit ever. She’d been a stay at home housewife for DECADES at this point, she never learned anything really because I don’t think she ever finished elementary school, like basic math she could do but yeah. 

So this lady is standing in front of me saying she’s not the enemy and wants what’s best for my mom which is all I want too. I love her, but I dont like her a lot of the time. but I still care about her. And she tells me shes just there for moms ‘best interest’ and that my sis and I will be co executors of teh will and I just start laughing. because that wont go over well AT ALL. I can probs count on one hand how often she’s called om since the funeral. She hasnt been by to visit since either. I personally haven’t spoken to her in two years? I think she sent me a FB bday message? I’m just done really. like, we have unlimited texting, she can call, text, fb.. etc but nothing after like two years of me initating all first contact and it just gets exhausting you know? So I take the letter and I say that that’ll be interesting and that she’ll put p a fight over me getting teh house bc her plan (told to me YEARS ago) was that she’d move back here, take the house, we’d live togetehr and she’d charge me 1000$ a month rent for my room. The mortagage has been paid of since 2006? maybe before?? so NO REAOSN for that much. taxes yearly are under 4G? I think. And monthly bills under 400$. The lady asks if she should’ve sent my sis a letter and I say ‘either way you’re screwed bc if you do she’ll freak out and if you dont she’ll freak out” liek no winnning so i dont know if she wl or not.

I have a meeting with the lawyers, and doctor on Tuesday and since Friday I have just been this incredible stress ball? I’m shaking and throwing up, I try to eat and I get so naseous and I can’t sleep and my attention is shot and I am a Mess. 

I can;t afford a lawyer, and a week really isnt a lot of time, well actually four days to find one, and I just... I am tired guys. I don;t know what to do I just wann cry. 

The letter basically said that when mom moves out, that I can rent the property from her until her passing for 1$ a month, plus paying all teh bill and taxes which - 450-500 a month (which seems fake but okay) and that the property taxes will be paid out through her account until then as well. After she dies, what happens to the house is up to my sis and I as her will people. 

I love my apartment for teh most part. I’d love to have the house though, bc there;s no way I will ever be able to buy my own at this point. Moving in would save me liek 5-600$ a month which I could desperatly use to pay off my debt. but I’ve been living on my own since 2009 and I have enough stuff to FILL a three bedroom apartment, and moms house is FULL of all her shit, and my shit LOL, so I need to rent a storage locker I guess??? 

I’m just so confused and I don’t know what to do or even start and I don’t qualify for free legal aid bc I made liek 5G too much last year(still under 24G though so like??? thanks?? Part ofme wants my sis to come in and just rent the house out and then afterwards she can buy me out but she doesnt have the credit for a full on mortgage, do like a rent to own on my half of the cost, but neither one of us has teh money for a downpayment which UGH. 

I’m just so very very tired and stressed.