#half of them are litteraly just one sentence and then you have the ones with actual LORE ngkdkdldl

[eryanlainfa]

Mmmmmhhh maybe I should stop making new AUs so I could work on the ones I already have mmmhhhhhh

.....

Nah.

LET'S CREATE 5 MORE TONIGHT!!

[idril-la-wiccan]

Mermay 2023 - 4th Week and last three days

Day 22 - Zodiac

Well, with a prompt like this one, it was a little too easy to go with the Aquarius for Mermay. But... the thing is I have a certain attachement for this astrological sign in particular.

Day 23 - Tradition

And here is "Mahu", the dumbo octopus merfolk from day 21, once more ! I had vaguely alluded to it, but "Mahu" won't be their name, even if this is what I had planned initially. I'll explain why.

You've probably noticed that all of the merfolks I made for Out of the Abyss are strongly inspired by polynesian cultures, the most obvious ones being Hawaiian and Maori. And "Mahu" is in itself a concept of the Hawaiian culture : a third gender of which the name translates litteraly to "in the middle". Mahu people had an important role in Hawaiian society. They taught spiritual and social traditions, which included, among other things, teaching the hula.

And so, for me to have the idea of naming them "Mahu" to begin with, you've probably figured out that it's because this is what they are, traditionally speaking. But as I thought about it, I realised naming them by what they are would be like naming a cat, well, "Cat". It's a bit dumb.

Basically, I want to give them a new name. I'll certainly keep a two syllables name to at least keep things simple.

Hmm... In fact, maybe I could find them a name that has something to do with traditions ?

Day 24 - Zaddy

I made this character on the spot as I wasn't really inspired by the prompt. But I think I managed well with it nonetheless.

Day 25 - Food

No matter his form, Humphrey will always be a big glutton. (Even if, thankfully, he doesn't have the same voracity as when he used to be an actual whale.)

Day 26 - Jewel

"Shiny... For me... ?"

Day 27 - Halle Bailey

Ok, I'm not gonna speak on the matter of the Disney remakes as I believe everybody knows and that everybody roughly agrees about it.

No, here, the subject is Miss Bailey. I think no one can deny it, her voice is magnificent. And no matter the state of the movie, if she took pleasure in playing Ariel's role, then I am gald for her. And I also wish her a good continuation in her career.

Day 28 - Sailor

Alright, I might be cheating a bit with this prompt here. But the idea had been floating in my head for a while now and I finally had an excuse to put it on paper.

I don't know if I was the only one to have this idea, but I saw no one imagine the Captain Caviar ending up with a merman form as a result from being cursed by Black Pearl.

And yet, I saw many people draw him as a merman, so I'm surprised I haven't already seen this idea roam around...

Day 29 - Barbie

I loved the Barbie movies when I was a kid, especially the Fairytopia series. Here, I drew Elina, main character of this movie series, who takes on a mermaid form for a good part of the movie "Mermaidia".

Day 30 - Blue

I had mentionned this on day 21, but I'll have to reiterate it for this prompt. Leviathan is a blue whale merman.

It's in fact for this same reason he's the tallest amongst his peers : blue whales are the biggest mammals known in the world. Even Humphrey, a little humpback whale merman in comparison, is no match.

Well, perhaps that under his original form, Humphrey could have surpassed Leviathan.

Day 31 - Good night

I never would have guessed that I needed to see Dino-sour be a father figure to a half dinosaur baby cookie in my life.

Yes, the previous sentence makes no sense out of context.

I no longer play Ovenbreak ever since... well, ever since even before what happened with Yogurca (the less we talk about it, the better), but I'm still trying to follow the stories on YouTube. And honestly, I think that Pond Dino is the best thing to have happened to the "Rise of the Blue Dragon" update. I get how their design bothers some (it's rather overloaded, let's admit it), but... Just...

Baby... <3

Baby that sleeps like an otter. <3

*****

*~ Third week ||

Like my art ? You can commission me !

Buy me a coffee ?

[goldencuffs]

So I've just finished reading chapter 19 of the fake dating au!

And like, wow. That was monumental.

The Aquitart part made me want to smash Damen and Laurent's skulls together because of all those missed cues and half finished sentences it was excrutiating!

But then! THEN! I can't believe Alexander and Laurent finally broke up!!!! I loved their break up so much! It could have been messy and ugly and all around awful, but it was kind of sweet? Idk, peaceful might be a better word for it... I've hated Alexander all along, but I really liked the way he accepted Laurent's decision and wished him luck. I expected him to fight it, and he didn't and that was great. He was still an asshole but you know, I think this deserves the Katara "not as much of a jerk as you could have been" award™

And the way their whole little group left with Laurent? Litteraly makes me melt omg! Especially when Laurent said he'd realised he had been loved all along that was. I'm so proud of him and how much he's grown throughout the fic!!!

And Damen confessed his feelings so that's awesome, can't wait to see them interract as an actual couple for the next couple chapters

Of course you had to finish on a cliffhanger, didn't you? I wonder what Al wants, and how surprised we'll be at what he has to say!

Anyways, this is one of my favourite fics and it always makes me happy to receive the update email, I look forward to what you've cooked up for us next and have a wonderful day!

AHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!! i know this is so late, but this is so sweet and im so grateful for you thank you so much!!! im so glad you liked it 🥺😭

[lipshinee]

Hi, hi ! Let’s go for a request ! So mm ... What about a headcanon of the brothers having a baby with MC ? Are they the one that proposed it or it is MC ? How do they feel about becoming a father ? Nervous, excited ... And how do they act when MC is pregnant ? And when the baby is here ? That kind of cute stuff 🥺. (Sorry English isn’t my first language too) And thank you in advance ✨

Oooh this one is literally SO adorable🥺🥺 All of those turned out so long so I’m really sorry if you wanted smth shorter!! I ended up getting caught in my feelings sksjkLs

It’s a fem!reader so if anyone is uncomfortable by it feel free to pass this post!!

Lucifer

When you announced that you wanted to have a baby with him he was a bit taken aback. The thought of having a kid never really crossed his mind as he already had to deal with his younger brothers.

At first, he firmly refuses the idea. Stating that he wouldn’t have time with all the work he has. But the more MC talked about it the more he actually starts to like the suggestion. You’d talk to him in detail about your dreams of holding in your arms a baby that was the fruit of your love, and soon enough Lucifer would find himself daydreaming about the idea as well.

One day, him and MC were in bed, half naked, and when you reminds him to put a condom on, he shakes his head. «  I don’t think there’s the need to anymore. » You look at him with stars in you eyes, that night was the best sex you ever had.

When you announce your pregnancy, he tries his best to hold back his excitement and would just hold you tightly in his arms. « You’re gonna make such an amazing mother. »

The next few months would be stressful on him, he’d do his best to complete as much as work as possible until his paternity leave while still be there for you. Needless to say, he was doing a great job taking care of you as the challenges of a pregnancy only got more complicated. You’d barely even tell how stressed he actually was because most of the time he’d be the one calming down MC.

While on a meeting with Diavolo, he gets a call from Mammon, he gets a bit annoyed but still excuses himself before picking up. « L-Lucifer?! It’s MC! She’s in labour! Hurry up!! » His mind was racing like crazy. It’s happening? He’s having a baby with the love of his life? He informed Diavolo of the situation quickly before sprinting towards his car.

He would reassure MC and hold your hand the next hours you spent in the hospital while you were giving birth. « Just a few more pushes love, do it for me, do it for our family. » When he saw his daughter, he actually shed a tear. The brothers were so surprised because they’ve simply never seen him cry before. But Lucifer couldn’t care less. The two most important girls in the world were right there and nothing could make him happier.

He would absolutely NOT leave MC or his baby girl’s side for the next months. He would always take care of his baby even when it was your turn. « Just go back to sleep, okay? I’ll go get her myself. »

When it was time to go back to work he even considered telling Diavolo that he was going to take the next year off, but MC quickly stopped him because she knew that he still loved working there. You had to assure him multiple times that you had his other brothers and she wasn’t alone before he obliged.

Mammon

Let’s get real, he probably entertained the idea of having a kid with you within the first month of your relationship, but he wouldn’t say anything to not freak you out.

He would wait about a year or so before joking about it one day even though he was fully serious. « Imagine if we had a kid haha! Just kidding...But imagine. » You would look at him with a smile on your face before jumping in his arms and kissing him. Let’s say the rest of the day was..hot.

The next few weeks you’d do it every single day wherever you were, whether it’d be at home or outside while on a date. When MC comes at him with a positive pregnancy test he cried his balls out for the next hours. « Y-you’re not kidding right?! I’m going to be a DAD?!? » He ended running around the whole house screaming that he was going to be a father. His brothers were happy for the both of you but were also annoyed that Mammon just WOULDN’T shut up about it.

During the whole pregnancy he was an anxious mess and kept smothering you. « Oi! What did I tell you?! If you want to get out of bed you tell me first! You don’t go anywhere without me!! »

He would bring literally ANYTHING you were craving at any time of the day. He would spend all of his money buying the most expensive stuff for his child even though you begged him to stop because for fuck’s sake it’s the third stroller he brought this week.

One day he’s awakened by MC in the middle of the night. « Mammon...I think my water broke! » YOUR WATER WHAT?! He rushed you out of the house while litteraly SCREAMING at the top of his lungs that they were going to the hospital. Like he would waste time to wake every single one of his brothers up! They were all woken up by his screams even though most of them didn’t even understand a word of what he was saying.

The whole drive there he would mumble to himself « Fuck..Okay...This is actually happening...Let’s keep calm!! » While giving birth he probably screamed just as much if not more than MC. He was such a nervous mess he kept walking around the room before the doctors got there doing his best to reassure MC (and himself.)

When he first got to hold his baby boy he cried even more than when he learned about the pregnancy. « O-obviously my baby would look JUST as amazing as his handsome father! » He’d stutter while sobbing. But the image that stuck in his head that day was probably when you held your kid in your arms. He felt like the luckiest man on earth and looking at his little family only reminded him of the happiness she brought into his life.

He would be a good father but would definitely be the kind of parent to learn along the way. When there was anything he didn’t know he would ask you and when you tell him he did a great job he’d grin and say : « What did you expect? Of course the great Mammon would make a great father! »

Leviathan

Oh boy, this man is not a kid person.

A child requires so much time that he would much rather spend on video games and animes.

MC has to be the first one to propose that idea. When you tell him about your hope of having a baby with him one day he quickly turned red. « W-what?! A baby?! But I have so many video games to finish! So many animes to watch! And so little time! » You sighed, knowing full well he would give this kind of response.

You were once cuddling with him while watching a new anime that just came out, he asked you the night before to watch it together and you of course accepted. The plot revolves around this big happy family and you couldn’t help yourself but envy them, because you wanted that with him. « I wish I could have a happy family like this! It’s so not fair. » Using his own phrase against him? How bold.

Leviathan sighed, he knew exactly what you were referring to. And he had to admit, ever since you talked to him about it, he couldn’t help but think about a kid he would teach to play video games alongside with him, or about having nights with the three of you just laying in bed and watching an anime while cuddling. He looked at you before giving a small peck on the lips. His face now red, he replied : « Fine, I guess we can try i-» He couldn’t even finish his sentence and you were already all over him.

Since then, every night after the cuddling session things would get a bit more steamy until one morning while eating breakfast, you end up running to the bathroom and throw up everything you had previously eaten. That was the third time this week, was this a morning sickness? The boys all rushed after you and bombarded you of questions but you could only see your boyfriend, and with tears eyes you stutter : « I-I think I might be pregnant. »

The room suddenly got silent as Leviathan walks towards you and gives you the biggest hug. He didn’t say much that day, the excitement of the news still settling in. As the months went on, he would pick up his game console less and less, his attention now solely on you and the baby growing inside of you. Before you came into his life, he never even thought about missing his anime sessions once, but now they seemed so trivial compared to helping you every day throughout your pregnancy.

He’d be so attentive to your needs, you’d spend hours upon hours suggesting names for the baby (even if he doesn’t understand why you refused the name Ruri-chan.)

You’re in the living room with him and the rest of the brothers since it’s movie night, you feel a sudden contraction and moan lightly but think nothing of it. False contractions happen, right? Well it happens a few minutes later and this one was even more painful. This time you moan loudly and the boys all stared at you with a concerned look on their faces. « W-was that a contraction? » You nod while squeezing your boyfriend’s hand. He’s all red and panicked but tries to compose himself for you.

At the hospital he starts to worry about his competence. What if I’m not a good father? What if I don’t do a good job at raising my own kid? What if I end up disappointing her? His thoughts are all washed away when he feels a hand on his cheek, you could feel him tense up and decided to comfort him. « I don’t know what you’re thinking right now but you better flush them all down the toilets because all of them are wrong. You’re gonna be the greatest father ever, okay? »

While giving birth, he did his very best to not get the panic get to him and tried to help you out the best he could although only half is his sentences were comprehensive. By the end of it he was weirdly just as exhausted as you were. But it was all so worth it, because when his little baby wrapped his tiny hand around his finger he just melted. For a moment he felt like he didn’t have to envy anyone because he had the best little family and nothing could compare to that.

Sometimes he’ll play a game while the baby is sleeping but those times were rare as he prefered taking care of his own child. He would feel really overwhelmed by the amount of love you and the kid give him, he still has to adjust to it as he spent thousands of years loathing himself.

Satan

He may not seem like a kid person, but he’s actually quite fond of them. Although like Lucifer, he never really thought about having a kid.

He’s in the library as always, but this time you were wrapped in his arms as both of you were reading this book about the human world. When the section of kids comes around, both of you start talking about having a child of your own. Neither of you really proposed the idea, it just came naturally to you when reading the book that you both were ready. So you did it in the library. Multiple times.

You checked your calendar multiple times to make sure you weren’t wrong, but you were absolutely certain that you were late. Almost a week late! You thought to yourself, that almost never happens. But you didn’t want to give anyone false hope, so you waited until you did a pregnancy test to confirm your suspicions. That same night, you told your boyfriend you were late. He held your hands tightly and looked at you with the biggest smile, you’ve never seen him this happy! « Really MC?! You’re pregnant? »

From then on, his favourite activity was to read you a bunch of pregnancy books and anything remotely related to kids. Provided you were there, he’d spend hours in the library reading about how to raise a kid (well a human kid, he wasn’t sure whether or not a baby half-human half-demon would be different.) The fact that he had made so much research helped you so much during the pregnancy and you were forever grateful for that. He knows every single thing that needed to be known.

One faithful night you were both sitting in his bed when you suddenly felt a contraction. He immediately reassured you : « Don’t worry too much about it, okay? Contractions have to belayed by less than 4 minutes for it to actually count, otherwise they’re just contractions to prepare your body. » He still took a mental note of the exact hour, and when you had your second contraction this time he was sure this was it.

He grabs the bag full of the necessary equipments and decides to text the group via DDD that they were leaving. He kept holding your hand and whispering sweet words to your ear the whole drive there. His presence was enough to calm you down even though the contractions were getting more and more painful.

When you get to the hospital, it’s the same thing, even though he was in full panic mode he wasn’t showing any sign of it and kept giving you a warm smile while reminding you that everything was going to be alright. Finally the baby arrives and she’s absolutely magnificent, he feels this sudden wave of happiness hit him as he holds his baby girl close to his chest. He cries a bit but was quick to wipe them away before you’d see him.

He’s probably the most caring baby daddy out of all the brothers, he’s easily able to find every solution to any issue concerning the kid and feels like every day he’s learning something new about his precious baby. He holds dear in his heart the image of you singing a lullaby to the baby and he’s grateful that you brought this light in his life that he so desperately needed.

Asmodeus

Honestly? He’s probably going to be the hardest brother to convince. He already gave up such a huge part of his life by being in a committed relationship with you, it would be an even bigger step to start a family with you and he honestly didn’t think he’d ever be ready for that.

You two were simply on a date shopping in the mall when you come across a shop that sells clothes for kids. You coo as you see the tiny shoes that were on display. Asmo found it adorable as well and joined as well but was completely stunned when you talked about how cute your baby would look in that dress. He’d laugh and say : « Darling you know I love you, but would you really want a baby? They’re such a hassle! » You disagree with him completely, and for the next few weeks you keep sending him posts of families and their babies on Devilgram.

He would smile whenever you sent him anything family-related. He got to admit you were really persistent with that baby thing, and he gave it a lot of thought. Yes he never thought he would have a family of his own one day, but he also never thought he’d be in a committed relationship either. But there he was, with you, and you fulfilled his needs in a way that no demon or witch could ever even begin to compare. You changed so much things in his life for the better, and he couldn’t help but have this idea of the the three of you in a matching outfit!

You were doing each other’s skin care routine, as always, talking and gossiping when he suddenly stops and looks at you with a huge smile while running his hand on your thigh. « You know MC...I wouldn’t mind if we started making a baby right now. » What? You were a bit dumbfounded at first, and he had to kiss you to realize that you weren’t dreaming.

His face lit up when you announce to him that you’re pregnant. He pampers you with kisses and one thing led to another... Your hormones and libido were on fire while pregnant for the pleasure of your boyfriend. All he does is buy new clothes for the baby and outfits for all of you, and you can’t believe that this man was once reluctant about the idea of having a kid.

Much like Mammon, he absolutely lost it when you told him that your water broke. He was so impatient, he was finally about to see his baby girl! He kept screaming around that he was the happiest man alive. In the hospital, he was a SOBBING MESS. He couldn’t hold it together and was just so overjoyed. It only got worse when he finally got to see her.

« She’s so gorgeous!! Of course she would be! She looks just like her daddy! » After making sure you were alright, he would spend most of the times taking pictures of you and the baby. He even put one of them as his lockscreen.

He’s so gentle and patient with his girl, he LOVES to pick out little outfits for her that matches his and take tons of pictures afterwards. You’re so happy he’s the father of your kid.

Beelzebub

He’s DEFINITELY a kid person, absolutely adores them.

You were chilling with him in the kitchen, stealing snacks as always when he suddenly asks you : « Have you ever thought about having a kid? » You’re really surprised and don’t know how to respond for a while. « I know, this came out of nowhere... But lately I can’t stop contemplating the idea of having a family with you. I love you so much MC and if you’re not ready I get it, but I want you to be the mother of my child one day. »

You couldn’t believe it, you’ve been having the exact same thoughts lately! You respond « And I want you to be the father of my kid. » He smiles as he lifts you up the kitchen counter and walk up to your room, he kept telling you how much he loved you as he made love to you that night.

When you revealed to him your pregnancy, he couldn’t get out a single word out of his mouth, yet there was so much he wanted to say. He ended up kissing you gently and telling you how happy you make him.

When he brings you food, he always does his best to not eat anything on the way to the house. You always giggle when he stares at the food with saliva dripping down his mouth and end up sharing everything. He never stops following you around and making sure you’re okay when you’re not in bed, he even picks you up sometimes just to be safe.

He must have really good swimmers because when you went to the doctor’s appointment, he happily declared that the two of you were gonna have twins! « Does it run in one of your families? » The doctor would ask but you didn’t respond, you were only looking at Beel after this amazing announcement. Twins! You were gonna have twins!

The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly and you have to thank your loving boyfriend for that. When it was time for you to deliver, you kept freaking out, you were about to give birth to not one, but two babies! However Beel was once again there for you and gently patted your back and reminded you that were gonna do an amazing job. He was there for you the whole time, appeasing you when you felt like you couldn’t handle the pain anymore.

He was next to you, holding his little girl while you were holding your little boy. It was a beautiful sight, and he just couldn’t stop smiling whenever the baby would move around his big arms. How did he get so lucky? He leans in and gives you a kiss on the cheek, he was so thankful to you and he wanted to show it to you right at that moment.

The most loving father there could EVER be. His sweet side reflects so clearly when he takes care of his kids, he adores his big family so much and he shows it through the little actions.

Belphegor

Contrary to his twin, not really a kid person. And can you blame him? Baby boy spends all of his time sleeping, it’s be hard for him to fit a baby in his busy schedule.

When the idea popped into your head, there was no way it was getting out of there. You kept fantasying about a mini-Belph, the single thought of it warmed your heart. And when you suggested it to him, you didn’t expect a laugh as a response. « I can barely take of myself, MC you’re adorable but how do you expect me to take care of another living being? »

You pouted at him for a bit before giving up. He wasn’t ready for it, and you weren’t really gonna force him about it. But you would drop comments here and there from time to time. Belph would glare at you before petting your head. « Still not ready, sweetheart. »

While sleeping in your arms one night, he dreamt about your family, how you all would get in the bed and all nap together under the same blanket and wake up to the tickles of your kid. When he woke up, he felt this weird tingling sensation in his heart and he started fancying the idea of having a baby with you.

A few weeks later, he woke you up with kisses on your neck and when you asked him what he was up to he smirked. « Well to take you up on that proposition of starting a family.. » You were stoic for a few seconds and stared at him with the most loving look on your face.

When you told him you were having his baby, he was so happy he didn’t let go of you for the rest of the day. For the whole pregnancy, you spent most of your time in his room, you loved seeing him sleeping on your chest while his hand was placed on your growing tummy. It was literally your favourite position.

Your water broke one week before the date your doctor gave you! Belph was up in less than a second when you told him the situation, you’ve literally never seen him get up this fast before.

In the hospital he kept trying to keep calm as you screamed in agony. All he could do was squeeze your hand to remind you that he was right there by your side. After a few hours, his baby boy finally came to life, he had such a hard time believing that the beautiful kid that was in his arms was his. He was so nervous about the idea of being a dad, but the emotion that struck him the most was the pure joy he had when knowing you three were going to be a family.

He’s tired literally all the time but that doesn’t stop him from helping you out all the time. His tiredness is all worth it for his baby boy and the love of his life.

[captain-of-the-roses]

Stupid things my family has said

Part: Yes

"Does anyone else get super emotionally attached to someone they met online or a follower or something and you're like 'i made a friend!' And then they leave and you're like 'oh' and want to curl up in bed and cry for a day and a half or is that just me being attention seeking?"

"Does poison expire? And if it does, is it more or less poisonous?" "Both."

"You're not worthless, Dad. Youre the most valuable..." "What?" "I said you're the most valuable but couldnt think of a following word. But this house would litteraly fall down without you."

"Did you miss the entire conversation about us hiding on the floor cause Jaiden was coming and Ellie not wanting to hide by the dead body?" "No, I was pouring!" "Again?" "You guys eat like 9000 pancakes in a hour!"

"Jesus, Teah, you scared me. You turned on the water and I almost spilled this everywhere." "How did you not notice me?" "I didn't hear your footsteps!"

"For all we know there is a person living in our basement, no one's every been down there."

"I want to go down to Gettysburg, right in the middle of the battlefield, and just talk to them." "We need to bring food peace offerings."

"Are you ok?" "You can't spend most of your life on the internet, especially with autocorrect, and not find some dark stuff."

"Eli Whitley? I mean Whitney." "When you watch to much RWBY."

"'James Talmadge.' Is he related to Washington's spy, Ben Talmadge?.......They're cousins. Thats very important to me."

"Due to old English, GIF is actually pronounced yiff."

"Look on the bright side, at least the school finally got it right and called you for once." "Ya, they called me once today out of the two phone calls we've received." "I keep telling them I'm the emergency contact and you're the one they should call but they keep calling me." "Apprently its always an emergency." "OUR FUNDING HAS BEEN GOING DOWN DUE TO LACK OF FUNDING, QUICK, BRING OUT THE EMERGENCY CONTACTS!"

"My feet are numb from walking out in the snow with no shoes on." "Which is why you don't walk in snow in socks."

"I'm pretty sure youre seeing things." "I'm pretty sure youre just too slow." "Oh ya, blame it on me. I think you're crazy." "And I think its about time you get your eyes checked."

"The last time Jaiden got his eyes checked was 2019." "Oops."

"We remind me of siblings." "Are we not?"

*Sneezes* *everyone turns to stare*

"Oh, God." "Yes?" "You really think that highly of yourself?" "Has to happen once in a while."

"Did you know Priests have to bless anything you ask them to. So if you ask them to bless a loaf of bread, they have to do it legally." "I don't know, I don't really like holy bread, its makes it hard to make sandwiches."

"Hiiiiii! I almost said holy."

"Shut up and drink your Tylenol."

"You wanna see something stupid?" "Sure....wow. So stupid." "Did you look in the mirror?"

*runs into wall* "WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?"

"Dead." "Dead? What's dead?" "Crab Dad."

"'add butter to moisten your peanut butter sandwich' is not a sentence I thought I would ever here."

"Flashlight Ruby. That's all. Boost her silver eyes and let her walk through Monstra."

"So like venomous snakes, and spiders. And some kinds of venomous crabs." "Karkat." "Did you say venoumous Dads or Cats?" "No, I said Karkat."

"Pomegranates?" "Ew. Arent those the things Persephone ate that cursed her?"

"Doesn't this look like a mountain with fire behind it?" "Like California." "No."

"Everything in Australia tries to kill you. Even the trees."

"Is your dinner really a few handfulls of Fruity Pebbles and a hand full of coconut?" "...." "Teah."

"Oh look, a child." "Teah, you can't just say that while looking under the table."

"Its so fluffy!" "Did you have to yell that across the kitchen?" "Yes."

"I haven't been outside." "That's not true." "Name one time I've gone our side recently......Dad, name one." "...........when was your doctor appointment."

[icharchivist]

Ok so i will need to leave my nostalgia aside and try to watch Tangled (the movie) in English one day bc i was watching some extracts on youtube and y e the French version took some liberties with some scenes and I need to compare for sure.

I’m listening more closely to the English songs too as well and-

okay disclamer: the work of translation is a hard work, especially in those medium where not only you must translate the tone, the theme, the meaning, but also watch out for the lip movements and the flow of the sentence. Even if I can have some cringe here and there I respect this work a damn lot, and it’s only when I feel a translation really missed the point (like the translation of the Treasure Planet Song) that i get annoyed.

Tangled has a great translation and a good dub work, and with this approach i am not trying to bring that work down, as i think it did a good job. I just need to check some things.

(one of the scenes that is ticking me of changes slightly the characterization of Eugene in that scene imo so i need to check it in context to see how much it feels as such).

However, there’s something i love with Translation is when some things can be... even more spot on than it needed to be.

And i’ll put it under cut rn bc i have a little translation geeking out to do about the song When Will My Life Begin?

Most of the chore and activities Rapunzel does that day are translated about word for word (since after all we see those activities on screen). Some of the little details that changed are say, the “Sew a dress!” translated by “And Pascal brings me awe” which still fits what’s on screen.

The major difference between the two songs is that “When will my life begin?” is translated depending on which chorus “I wonder where is the Real Life” and “I wonder where the Real Life is Hidden”. Imo this may be one of the choices i’m a bit unsure about since it loses the aspect of how much she wants her own life to start and not just a hidden world, but it does show her longing for escape and fits the global theme.

But while also digging i realized some of my favorite lines in the French version aren’t in the English version and i just want to congratulate the French version.

I’ll do a quick translation with English on the left and French (in English) on the Right to point them out 

Start on the chores and sweep 'till the floor's all clean / Fast, I take the broom, the house needs to be shiny

> A minor one but an interesting one nevertheless: an idea of urgency, of /needing/ to do the chores.

I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery / I add some colors that only pleases me

(...)

I'll paint the walls some more, I'm sure there's room somewhere /I add more color, there’s [colors] missing, i’m sure of it

> This is such a particular choice of adaptation that instead of going for “the painting in the Gallery” and the physical room of the paint, it goes instead with the emotional aspect of what it’s trying to remplace: a life on its own. And don’t get me wrong the idea is there in English, but the idea is more that: those walls are covered because she’s been here for too long, she doesn’t feel like there’s room for her anymore in that place. The French though goes with an idea of whatever she has isn’t enough and that she feels this lack inside her but she doesn’t know what it is exactly.

>I especially love the “colors that only pleases me” part that kinda echos why i translated that idea of urgency on that other line: it directly seems to allude to Gothel. At this point of the story we don’t know how abusive and controling she can be, but i love the little touch in French to say that while Gothel endures Rapunzel’s passion, she doesn’t like it and had made sure to make Rapunzel knows that she doesn’t like it. Which is in character and adds to the abuse present in their relationship. (which personally adds a level of relatable to that line sadly) The “Fast” line then seems even more that she “needs” to do the chores for another person.

Which also brings me to this:

Stuck in the same place I've always been / In this prison where I grew up

> On one hand i wonder if the Translators hadn’t been too bold to really enphasis how much Rapunzel feels out of place there, but i take it- it’s thematically relevent to her struggle in the movie (and honestly considering others Disney’s translation trackrecord, i’m impressed). 

And I'll reread the books If I have time to spare / And I re-read my books, I dream of adventures

>Again instead of just talking about sparing time, it’s about escaping.

I love the English version and it’s great: i feel like it’s more a showcase of her daily life and how boring it is that it repeats itself. Another nuance too is before the question of the song, in english it goes “Basically just wonder when will my life begin” but the french is “Sometimes i wonder where is the real life” - And it brings me to my overinterpretation but it feels like the English version is constantly longing for her life to start, while the French version feels something is lacking and that sometimes it hits her more than others.

Some more details that are not relevent to my points but in the end is slightly different as it goes:

What is it like out there where they glow? / What does this summer night look like? Now that I'm older, Mother might just let me go/ I am older, I must be able to go there

> First, I really, really need to know if it’s confirmed anywhere else than the movie happens in summer because it seems to be French only. It’s a neat idea though considering she’s litteraly a ray of sunshine ahah, but still i need to know.

>I don’t know how i feel about not mentioning “Mother” there (but at the same time “Mother Knows Best” is translated “Listen Only To Me” so not emphasing on this point can come from here) but also there it’s.. a little tricky to translate because in French we don’t have as strong comparaison for Might/May/Will/Must in this sort of context and it can truly depends, and here it may as well be might than must - but i love the focus on her, saying she should be able to go, trying to take her own life in her hands rather than just listen to her mother.

So look - i’ve been overanalysing texts all my life (Litterature/Cinema/Art/Translation student baby) so I’m obviously overreading it and it’s not important. 

And I’ll never say the French version is an “improvement”, i’m pointing out some adaptation chocies that had been taken for the flow of the song at first.

But I’m really baffled by how all those choices that are much more different from the english conterpart put a lot of emphasis on the Emotional lack she has and hints at the Abusive Household a little more clearly. Whenever it’s too much or not is up to anyone’s interpretation, but personally i know the French songs makes my heart cluntches a bit.

As I was mentioning i ticked because my fav lines weren’t there in English and said line are the ones about the paintings- because I think i personally feel even more for a Lack I can’t Identify than feeling just Locked up.  But now that I say it that way, the English does focus more on the factual thing that she is locked up and that it is what restrains her from being able to express her creativity, more than just that lack. (then the “prison” line does also emphasis on this, so it’s up to anyone’s interpretation)

Anyway point is the Translation of this movie isn’t half as bad as some others movies (Frozen’s translation had me grumble multiple times for lack of understanding of themes, so i’m a bit surprised this song at least hammers down much more the themes than the meaning). 

I also now will have to check myself with the English version but in French Eugene does call Gothel “an abusive mother” right away when Rapunzel is crying, and I admit i don’t even know anymore if i can trust the translation until i see the movie myself, but i find it nice and bold to point it out strongly like that.

If other translations jump out to me i’ll probably post about it even if I’m the only one to care about it ahah, but i love themes and i love when adaptation works find a way to work through it even when they can be 100% faithful to it. 

Cheers!

[insidethecrack]

Who am I ? [identity part 1]

Tell me who I’m supposed to be Make me better I can’t stay half way dead forever I fear now There’s not much left of me When you’ll take the sick away Who am I supposed so to be ?

Icon for Hire - Supposed to be

If you’re neurodiverse, you might have heard this more than once : “you’re not your [insert mental illness of your choice here]”. And you might have wanted to punch the person, but you didn’t because it’s something nice to say right ? So why does it fucking hurt so fucking much ? And why do people think it’s a good thing to say ?

Usually when we’re told this, it’s at time when our neurodiversity takes so much space that there is very little space for anything else. It’s very tough time, and we’re stuck in our sadness / delusion / pain / [insert your reality here]. So people are trying, sometimes very clumsily, to comfort us, and this sentence often pops up. And it makes as much sense as saying “fire burns, but you’re not the fire” to someone who just get caught in a fire. After the fire, the person has scars, it can be ugly, or very visible, and the person might live it badly. Would you tell them “you’re not your scars” ? Probably no. Because you know it’d be a useless thing to do. You’d check with the person if they want to find nice way to hide the burns, or to live with them in plain view, you would love them anyway, you would check with them how to properlys take care of the burn scars. Because the scar is a scar, and even if scars fade, they never go away. So you’d see how to help them live with it. Right ? 

Guess what, it’s the same for mental health. Because we know we are not out neurodiversity. We are way more, and we have to live with it. But it doesn’t mean it has no impact on who we are. On the countrary, it has a huge deep impact on us, on our life, and on our sense of self. 

I’m going to speak about what impact schizophrenia has on my sense of identity / self, but I think a lot of neurodiverse people might relate. 

I am not my schizophrenia, I know this. I know this so bad that when I was stuck in madness years ago, one of the thought that kept poping up was “I have to find a name for the madness, ‘cause if she has a name and it’s not mine, then we are not the same”. So... I know that. I’m not my schizophrenia but it has impact on my ability to communicate (and most of the time, not to communicate efficiently), on my ability to trust people around me, to work with them, to create relationship (we acknowledge with the therapist that schizophrenia was litteraly biaising EVERY relation I have and will have. How depressing is that ?), to meet people, to see me, to think, to sleep, to understand the world, to see and feel my body, my genre identity, my sexuality. Oh well, that covers basically any part of my life. In case you need something more concrete to understand where is schizophrenia is in my life :

-my PhD : I’m working on the interaction between language - voice - music - body. Which is perfect since I’m hearing voices who don’t speak but go through my blood and language is my only weapon against madness. So I’m way ahead neurotypical researchers. But it also means that sometimes it hits too close from home.  -academic life : you must sell yourself all the time, which is not easy when voices keep screaming and you want to delete everything you do once it’s done. You must learn to do things without being taught how to do that, which is not easy when you can’t understand an unspoken rule.  -meeting people : the way I speak = the way I think = reality. I don’t have this “moderation” stuff in my brain. Which means I can say things “coldly”. So, generally people I meet think I’m cold, unsensitive and dead inside (not really but English is lacking some incredible French words). So most of the time, I just shut up. -sex life : (because that’s one is fun....) I’m completely unable to have a representation of my body, which means I have no sex fantasy. Which mens you can’t flirt with me because I have no idea what I want or not, which means that if you try I’ll be just “euh... maybe ?” because flirting generally happens on a different moment than the sex moment so to my brain it doesn’t even make sense to answer flirting because it’s not a yes or no question because the moment will come later which means the answer might be different. 

etc etc Any neurodiverse person could do such a list (and maybe you should ask them to do so, so you could better understand what it means for them). But do you know what’s particularly funny with schizophrenia ? It’s a psychosis, but more precisely, a psychosis connected to the identity / personnality. Schizophrenia has often been confused with multiple personnality disorder because it means “broken mind”, but it’s not broken like “hey, now we’re two”, it’s broken like when there’s a crack on a glass (and here’s the tiltle of the blog ! almost two years after the beginning, now you know !). The glass still holds up, but there’s a crack in it. I don’t understand what “I” means. You may say it’s stupid, it’s a pronoun, so how could you not understand it ? On an intellectual level, I do. But on a personal level... “dafuq ?” Pronouns are used to stand instead of something else. Well, I have no idea what “I” stands for. I don’t know who is this I that keeps starting every single sentence I write or say. To me, I isn’t a pronouns, it’s something I create, and all the parts of myself are traveling inside this I. I is supposed to bring through life. I think it’s our fourst I... It’s nice, because it means I can start over and build a new one when needed. But it also means I have blood on my hand since I killed the others, someone has to do it. So my relation to myself can be quite violent... I is a thing I fix and break and fix again and break again... It’s like... if life was a video game and we’re playing the “identity level”, I would be playing in hardore difficulty. Because there are thoughts in my head that are not mine, the same head that I’ve watched rolling over the kitchen flour for hours once. I can’t stand a mirror because I dont know who it is. Photography can be hard for that too. I’m overcontroling anything I say or do, just to be sure I did it. Basically, on a daily basis, I feel like I’m living with a stranger. Except that this stranger is me, my body, and mind. I’m a clandestine passenger in my own life, body, mind.  So I am not my schizophrenia, but my schizophrenia defines me, at least partly. Just like I’m not my parents, but the choices they made in my education define me. I’m not what the bullies said but baving been bullied defined me too. I’m not my ex-boyfriend but what happened with him will define a part of my future relationships (if they ever happen). I’m not my PhD advisor, but the way she guides defines a part of my PhD, which defines a part of me. So maybe we all got that wrong. Maybe it’s not a matter of whether I’m my schizophrenia or not, maybe it’s more how many things define me. The more items on the list, the more I get close to “me”. 

Identity is hell for a lot of us, neurodiverse or neurotypical, in a way or another. Because we are so much and so little in the same time. But you can’t list ALL of the items to anyone you meet, not even to yourself. So you have to chose. But how ? Does your job define you more than the delicious cookies you baked to please your friend ? Does your mental / physical illness define you more than the books you wrote ? How can you be so sure that all of these items are so independant when YOU are the connection between them ? 

According to me, it’s more a matter of choice. We chose which items are important in this life long list of things. It’s scary, choice is always scary. It implies responsability. But it also means that we can change anytime we want or need. It’s possible that one day, my schizophrenia defines me way more than days where I’ll be defined by my love for linguistic or metal music. If we can chose, it also means that you can’t tell a neurodiverse person that they are not their neurodiversity, because you have no fucking idea and it’s not yours to chose for them. Because, maybe at that moment, they feel like it’s the item which most defines that and YOU have to accept that. So if you want to say something, maybe go along the line of “you are not reduced to it” or “you are a lot of other things too”. For some of us, our neurodiversity will last all of our life. Whether we want / like it or not, it’s going to be part of our life until life is over. Therefore, it will have more impact on our identity than that one job we took during several months or even years : because it will last forever, because it has impact on every part of our lives... and also because most of people won’t get that. 

Once someone corrected me and said “no, you’re not schizophrenic, you have schizophrenia”. I think it was very well intentioned, but it was fucking violent. I use “be” because in French you can’t use “have” with schizophrenia. So it’s a habit I have. But also because “have” implies that I could not have it. It’s not a choice I have. So “be” seems truer : I am schizophrenic, and it’s ok, because I also am a writer, a translator, an interprete, a PhD student, a theatre nerd, a metalhead, an otaku, a rain walker, a friend, a sister, a non-binary person, a feminist, a teacher, a book worm, a cat human, a shitty pun maker, a homemade linguist, AND SO FUCKING ON. So i want to be able to say I AM schizophrenic because it’s true, and it will probably be forever true, so I need to be just an item on a never ending list of items I used to build this I (which may be one day the last I’ll have to create...). 

Don’t correct your friend when talk about their neurodiversity and how it defines them or impact on their life. They know better than you, it might just be hard to put it into word. Listen, understand their choice, respect it. You’ll earn a lot by doing so : the trust of your friend, but also the right to define yourself the way you want, with the items you wanted and chose. Neurodiverse persons are often refused the right to choose for themselves : their life, their will and ambition, how to treat their need, but also the way they talk about themselves and define themselves. As a neurotypical person, you may have never experienced that, so just imagine a few seconds : we meet, you start introduce yourself and then I interrupt you “no, you can’t like this thing, not with hair like that ! people with those hair don’t do that !” And everyone you’ll meet after me will react just the same until we all proved you that no, you couldn’t like this thing, not with that kind of hair. That’d be silly right ? Well, that’s what the world does to us, and not always with violent ways, more often, it’s more subtle things, like people wanting to comfort you with the wrong words.  That’s what the world does to us all the time. It silences a lof of people with anxiety and self-esteem issues. It fucks up people’s brain like me, since we already have huge issues defining ourselves, it just makes it worse because it takes us years to come up with such things, and it can be destroyed in just a second. 

If schizophrenia doesn’t define me, someone took the opportunity of a psychotic episode to rape me, how is it for defining life experience ? It broke the fragile limits I was building for years. This I was getting better and better. We had to kill it because it couldn’t survive... and now we’re starting over. And I’m left alone at night wondering : what the worst part, being schizophrenic or a rape survivor ? in my case, is it so difference ? And I’m struggling because I have no answer, I have no idea how to choose. And it doesn’t feel like there is enough place on this body to keep both. But once again, it’s not really like I have a choice. (so I get we should build this new I bigger ?? ...) 

And this, this is why at the moment, I think it should be important that people know I’m schizophrenic, because I’m going through a time of my life where it has a huge and deep impact on everything I do, feel and think. I know it hasn’t always been the case, so I have hope it won’t last forever. But for now, this is a huge part of who I am, at least until I got everything back under control. 

This is what your friend is telling you when they say they have depression / PTSD / bipolar or any other diagnosis : at the moment, this is a huge part of who I am. It may change a day, and if so, they’ll let you know. In the meantime, see what they can’t see anymore, and bring it back to their mind, see their light behind the darkness, and don’t get offended if they can’t see it themselves, it will take time. But they have to follow their own path. Remember the last time you were very very sad. Would it have helped if someone had come to you and say “you’re not your sadness !” ? Would it have comforted you in any way ? No. Probably no... you would have wanted the person to acknowledge your pain and hang out with you and hug or say silly things right ? Guess what ? We want the same thing. That should make things easier to understand right ?

I realise this article is already so fucking long and I didn’t talk about the last thing about identity and mental illness : why is it so hard to let this painful things stop defining us ? It’s already so long and I should be working (because remember, I’m also a teacher...), so next time I guess !

Take care of you, and keep listening to one another.