#half the cast never seeing a poor person before is canon and that is scary.......

[squishosaur]

i just felt like drawing them again idk man 😭

[aion-rsa]

Guilty Gear: 15 Most Powerful Characters

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Guilty Gear has one of the more ridiculous storylines in fighting games. A beautiful-looking series with a fantastic cast of heroes and villains, the sci-fi anime aesthetic lends itself to some wacky concepts.

The broad strokes of the series aren’t all that bizarre, as it tells a pretty basic story overall. In a world where magic was discovered, three scientists accidentally unleashed a new type of species that led to a lengthy war between these creatures (Gears) and humanity. One scientist became a genocidal monster, one a grizzled anti-hero, and another a mysterious wildcard watching over everything. Eventually, the war ended and peace reigned, but the possibility of the war reigniting is a constant threat.

That’s not too out there on its own. Except the story also features a large vigilante doctor who wears a paper bag to hide his identity as a crazed serial killer. There’s a ninja who gets elected President of the United States, only to later figure out it would be easier to just start his own country. There’s a comatose boy in a weaponized bed whose personality is a mix between Freddy Krueger and Mandark from Dexter’s Lab. There’s a yoyo-wielding bounty hunter, a time-traveling Axl Rose knockoff, a dandy vampire, an assassin who uses reality-bending billiards as a fighting style, and so on.

Shit gets weird.

With Guilty Gear Strive finally out on store shelves, giving us the long-awaited final battle between Sol Badguy and That Man, it’s time to take a look at the most powerful beings in the Guilty Gear universe. One character I’m leaving off the list is Leopaldon from Guilty Gear Isuka. Not only is the game not canon, but even WHAT Leopaldon is (a dog and a wizard piloting a yeti?) isn’t well-explained. But if you want Leopaldon, he’s definitely on our official ranking of all the characters in the series.

Anyway, here the most powerful characters in Guilty Gear:

15. IZUNA

Izuna, a hero introduced in Guilty Gear 2, is a bit on the mysterious side, but there’s enough information to make it apparent that he’s someone to take serious. Not only is he over 500 years old, but he resides in the Backyard, an environment so uninhabitable that most others would be crushed by its magical atmosphere. He’s skilled as a swordsman, and his teleportation abilities are said to be equal to the strength of several hundred mages combined.

It’s presumed that Izuna didn’t show up in Guilty Gear Xrd because Ariels saw him as such a threat to her plans that she sealed him away and kept him out of play before her schemes could really kick into gear. That’s quite the compliment, in a roundabout way.

14. RAVEN

Raven is all about experience and durability. He simply can’t die, can contort himself, and is unable to feel pain. Even his Instant Kill sees him summon energy that engulf him and his opponent, which turns his enemy to dust while he simply lives to fight another day. He also has control over spatial magic in a way that makes Faust look like a novice. He’s absolutely a force to be reckoned with no matter what character he’s up against.

Still, resilience can only get you so far. When you get down to it, he’s comparable to someone like Deadpool or Wolverine, albeit with an even stronger healing factor and some magic bells and whistles. He may live to fight again, but he can still be overwhelmed and defeated with the right strategy. Guys like Slayer and Dizzy might not be able to completely annihilate him, but they can presumably contain him.

13. THE VALENTINE SERIES

The initial Valentine was the final boss in Guilty Gear 2 and Ramlethal Valentine was the boss in Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign-. They, along with Elphelt Valentine and Jack-O Valentine, are treated as crucial parts of the series.

Yet, they just…never really do anything that justifies ranking them higher on this list. Plus I have to lump them together because it’s hard to really compare them when they can apparently shut off each other’s powers.

Then again, I guess the original Valentine is the alpha of the group as she could upgrade her form a couple times over for the sake of final boss battles. Not that it did her any good.

12. I-NO

I-No is a tough one to figure out. Guilty Gear XX introduces her as a major threat, and a mysterious one at that. Her origin isn’t explored at first, and by the time the series explains what the hell she is (some kind of being the universe created out of everyone’s wishes for a better tomorrow?), it doesn’t really give her much context as a combatant. That said, “Manipulating probability” is one of her powers, making her pretty damn formidable when combined with her almost unlimited battle experience and toughness.

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Even though she’s treated as the boss character in Guilty Gear XX and spends the story messing with everyone, Guilty Gear XX Accent Core lets the rest of the cast catch up to her. Most of her endings involve her being defeated and even killed by those she just beat in-game. For instance, I-No defeats Baiken in-game but then Baiken just gets back up and murders her.

11. BAIKEN AND ANJI MITO

These two are so intertwined and comparable that they’ll have to share a spot. As I already mentioned, they both own I-No no matter who wins the in-game battle, which I’m going to take as a sign that they’re simply superior to her on the battlefield. Both are part of the series’ interesting subplot where people of Japanese descent are both incredibly rare, but also teeming with energy. Unlike May, these two have actually tapped into their genetic potential.

But it has its limits. Baiken has been demolished by Justice in the past, and her attempts to get revenge on That Man only ended in frustration when she couldn’t land a single hit. And he wasn’t even fighting back!

10. KLIFF UNDERSN

Poor Kliff is one of those old school fighting game characters who dies in his own ending, therefore dying in canon. Not that it’s surprising, considering he’s entering a fighting tournament in his late 80s. Still, Kliff is a legend and made a name for himself during much of the war against Justice. Sure, he was taken off the board before we could see how well he’d measure up to some of the younger warriors, but according to canon, Kliff survived at least 16 encounters with Justice.

He couldn’t seal the deal, but surviving against Justice that many times is too impressive not to give him a spot on this list. It’s not like Justice is the kind to spare a defeated foe out of respect. Kliff had to earn his survival time and time again.

9. KY KISKE

Ky Kiske has spent the entire series getting the short straw when compared to his rival and co-protagonist Sol. As Sol’s power keep creeping upwards and making him more and more OP with each new installment, Ky is just off to the side, feeling sorry for himself. He is still more than capable, but on paper, he just can’t hang with the likes of Sol and the other heavy hitters.

The epilogue for Guilty Gear Xrd suddenly shone a new light on Ky, though. Sol fought alongside Ky during the Crusades and saw what he was capable of. It looked nothing like the man he dueled with on multiple occasions across their adventures. Ky then admitted the truth: he had been holding back all this time because, while he may want to defeat Sol, he doesn’t want to kill him and those are two very different fighting strategies for him. Ky may not be some kind of nuclear option in battle, but if he truly wanted to, he could kill you 10 times before you hit the ground.

8. SLAYER

From his first appearance, Slayer made his mark as the retired assassin who was simply too strong for this shit. He’s more of an interested onlooker than a major player and usually only gets involved for the sake of his own amusement. With his otherworldly biology and centuries of experience, Slayer is rarely shown to be in any real peril. Even in defeat, he lies awake and bored, suggesting that he lost only because he allowed it.

It takes a while, but we do eventually get to see some measure of his potential. He’s casual about danger, but there are threats out there that could at the very least make him break a sweat. That’s basically the rest of this list.

7. BEDMAN

Bedman spends the first half of Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign- making his way through the rest of the roster. Depicted as an enigmatic being who fights his enemies both physically and mentally (and is near unstoppable on both fronts), Bedman not only overpowers series regulars, but is able to take on multiple opponents at once while still making them look like the underdogs.

The moment that truly shows how dangerous Bedman is when he comes across Slayer. At first, we get the idea that it’s a stalemate and that Slayer may be up against someone worthy of his effort. Then, sometime later, we see Bedman standing triumphantly over Slayer, Millia, and Venom, who all lie at his feet. And after that, he still keeps going, taking out Faust and Chipp while forcing Johnny to escape. Dude is scary.

6. PRESIDENT GABRIEL

Gabriel showed up in Potemkin’s ending, and since then Arc System Works has been playing up how incredible he is while never, ever putting him in a game! It’s outright maddening. Make him a DLC character or something. We’ve been waiting decades!

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He’s a man Potemkin looks up to and confides in by the end of the first game. Then they introduce Slayer and tease tease this nigh-unbeatable immortal is Gabriel’s rival. It isn’t until Guilty Gear Xrd that it really becomes apparent how tough this guy is. After the story spent all this time building up Bedman, Gabriel completely clowns him like nobody’s business.

That’s what you get for killing that dog, you comatose asshole.

5. SOL BADGUY

Every now and then, fiction gives us a character so powerful that even trying to make them cease to exist does nothing. Blow up Darkseid with anti-matter, use magic to erase the Sentry, go back in time and destroy the MacGuffin that makes Apocalypse immortal, etc. They somehow just exist in spite of that. Sol is on that level. I-No once sent him back in time, had him kill his younger self, and Sol simply shrugged off the paradox. The dude is ridiculous.

Sol grows more powerful in each game and even then we’re told that he’s holding back. By the time the dust settles, he’ll probably be worthy of #1 post on the list, but right now, he’s just a high-ranking, angry fellow who’s important enough to be what the series’ bizarre title is named after.

4. JUSTICE

Despite being killed off in the first game, Justice is the constant source of dread in Guilty Gear’s story. Many of the games have revolved around the threat of Justice’s return, whether it’s getting her daughter to follow in her footsteps, cloning, or even resurrection. And yes, Justice is bad news because when she was active, she led a war against mankind that lasted 101 years. She only lost because she was sealed away.

After being released from her prison, Justice was eventually done in by Sol Badguy, the only Gear to predate her creation. It could be said that Sol took her out when she was weakened, but it could also be said that Sol was holding back.

Regardless, I’m going to rank Justice higher because of of her mental control over the entire Gear race, Sol excluded. Yeah, that’s a pretty major weapon to have in your back pocket, even if it doesn’t really come into play in a one-on-one fighting game. Sol was lucky to be in a situation where he could take her out before she could call in the reserves.

3. DIZZY

Dizzy makes me think of when someone is writing a Justice League story and has to come up with a reason for Superman to not be around, like he’s busy in space or off in another dimension. Dizzy isn’t the protagonist of Guilty Gear, but she is the daughter of two of the most powerful characters, and is mainly held back by plot contrivance and her attempts at pacifism. If she wanted to, she could wipe the floor with practically anyone, and there’s even an alternate reality (one where Ky died during the Crusades) that shows her embracing her potential and leading the Gears to victory against humanity.

Her so-called “Instant Kill” in Guilty Gear Xrd paints the best picture. Dizzy reluctantly fires a projectile that misses its mark, but leaves a horrifying mushroom cloud in the distance. Her freaked out opponents can only survey the damage, slowly turn to her, and surrender. Again, that’s what she’s capable of when holding back.

2. ASUKA R. KREUZ/THAT MAN

I can’t think of a more ambitious concept for a fighting game character than That Man. He’s alluded to in Sol Badguy’s ending in the first Guilty Gear game, making you imagine he’ll be the final boss of the next game or maybe the one after that. Instead, he makes mysterious appearances in the Guilty Gear X games. We never get a good look at him, but we see that he’s capable of easily slapping aside anyone who gets in his way. Then he pops up in Guilty Gear 2, including in a boss battle where Dragon Install Sol Badguy can’t even dent him. The Guilty Gear Xrd series gives him a little more dimension, finally revealing his true face and name.

Now it’s time for Guilty Gear Strive where maybe, just maybe, That Man will be DLC down the line. Maybe. Since the beginning, the series has been building to a climactic battle between Sol Badguy and Asuka R. Kreuz. As it is right now, That Man has proved to be higher on the food chain than his old scientist colleague, but that kind of uphill battle is expected.

1. ARIELS

Guilty Gear 2 and Guilty Gear Xrd -Sign- built up “Mother,” the force behind the Valentines and the one signing Bedman’s checks. At the end of -Sign-, we found out that the big mastermind is…a lady Pope possessed by a divine force. Sure, why not. Then in the next game, we got to see her go from putting on a professional and benevolent face for the public to going on a killing spree, painting her face like a juggalo, and ranting about how humanity is redundant and needs to be done away with.

Once again, Ariels would have made for a kickass final boss in Guilty Gear Xrd Revelator, but she remained part of story mode only. She was eventually taken down, but it took Sol Badguy, Ky Kiske, Sin Kiske, and That Man teaming up to do it. But as revealed in Guilty Gear Strive, she’s still alive!

What is your ranking of the most powerful Guilty Gear fighters? Let us know in the comments!

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[greyias]

This is not fair of me to ask, I'm sure you have plenty to do, but there is this post on reddit titled, "Is there an enjoyable way to read about SWTOR plot? I have fallen ill right after playing Umbara and I would very much like to know why certain someone did what he did, but I am unable to play and wookiepedia is quite a dry read. " He explains he has seizures from playing video games. I was wondering if you had something written that would help him out, or maybe you could write something?

Oh no, that poor guy! That really sucks to be invested in a story and then not be able to see how it turns out!  I’m going to guess videos/playback of them have a similar issue  🙁 

I totally will agree with him that Wookieepedia is definitely dry, but I’m going to boldly put this statement out here: it’s also incorrect.

At least the articles on Fractured Alliances were (and a few other TOR era articles I came across), to the point where I actually got really angry reading them because the assumptions were just so... blatantly wrong. And not well sourced. (This is a strange hill for me choose to die on, but I will go defend it nonetheless.) Granted I haven’t looked at them in several months, so it’s possible they’ve been updated since then? 🤷‍♀️

I haven’t written a full write-up on what happened in Fractured Alliances, but honestly I’ve been meaning to? Because the Wookiepedia articles irked me that much, I feel like someone needs to rant at length and correct them. I’ve just, erm, got a bit lazy and distracted and haven’t done so. Mostly because there’s actually a lot to cover, and a lot of misconceptions to correct, and sourcing is hard yo.

BUT! I can do a cliff’s notes version really quick to get him some answers. Although if it’s possible... maybe just link him this post in private if possible? Mostly because there’s some pretty big edgelords over on Reddit, and they make me tired (which is why I stopped even going over there to look at things).

Also I still haven’t quite lived down Gravedrog yet. I still can’t believe that blew up to the degree it did.

BUT! I can talk about Theron Shan, and his motivations all the live long day. Probably too long if we’re being honest. And I’ve definitely invested far more thought and energy into understanding what happened in this storyline (and why everyone did what they did) than is probably rational. But hey, we all have to have a hobby? And apparently mine is dissecting rushed/truncated video game storylines and their implications on characterization.

The TL;DR: Theron does what he does in Fractured Alliances to protect both the Outlander and the Alliance. And eventually by extension of the plot, everyone in the galaxy

(Whether or not a player or Outlander agrees with his methods for going about it is another debate entirely, but Theron definitely had his reasons, which were noble in intent, as all roads to hell are said to be paved with)

(Sorta) Cliff’s Notes Version of Fractured Alliances:

(okay this isn’t that short, but I promise it’s a lot shorter than it could be)

Once upon a time, we find a junky old spaceship in the swamp. We ignore it whispering creepily to us and a bunch of warning signs and decide to adopt it anyway

Sometime later, the entire cast of KOTET takes a reluctant field trip (see: KIDNAPPING) to Iokath. 

While there, some stupid droid turns to Vaylin and says “Hey, you want to erase all of these Gemini droids free will?”

Because the entire expansion of KOTET got cut down by literally half, a lot of characterization shortcuts are taken and Vaylin’s like “HELL YEH”

All of the Gemini units are mindwiped save for one, a creepy little scarfed explorer who was off exploring Hoth or something. We get one e-mail from Hylo about this droid at the end of KotFE Chapter 16. 

This lone Gemini unit, named Gemini 16, is traumatized by this and she’s like “Fuck having sisters! I want to be an only child!” and decides she wants to murder her entire droid family. Apparently it’s the only way to be sure this never happens again???

We defeat Vaylin, Valkorion, and take ownership of a shiny new fleet! Neat! Also, we install the Fleet’s control console with a known security flaw that we ourselves tried to exploit in KotFE (see: The Gemini Frequency) into the heart of our operations on Odessen. I’m sure no traumatized, misanthropic lone Gemini droids or crazy Zakuulans will use this to their advantage.

Oh wait.

Some guy we never met hates us because two kids were arguing over a piece of bread in the street. 

This genius is named Vinn Atrius. He’s our villain.

He says “THANKS OUTLANDER-BAMA” and “We always had plenty of bread before YOU showed up!” and “Zakuul can’t just conquer and force everyone to bend to our will anymore :( :( :( :(” and “Won’t someone think of the children????” and decides he’s going to murderize him an Outlander. And the Alliance. 

He decides to become a terrorist and frame us for his terrorist acts. 

When he’s not starting whisper campaigns about how the Outlander is this horrible tyrant that must be stopped

Theron gets wind of Vinn’s plans, and decides to pretend he wants to be a cultist too! -- Vinn wisely slams the door in his face. This is the only wise thing Vinn ever does.

Vinn’s not a very good mastermind, so scary droid lady (GEMINI 16) says “Here honey, let me help you find a giant apocalypse machine”, although she doesn’t say honey because she hates everyone who’s not her

I actually skipped Iokath but I swear to god that’s an entire post unto itself, but someone tries to murderize the Outlander. Theron’s strangely calm about this. We’re supposed to think that’s because the TR8R WAS HIM ALL ALONG

This is stupid and goes against every characterization of Theron Shan up to this point in canon. I literally need an entire post to go into this, and am trying to keep things short.

TL;DR: This lady tried to murder the Outlander because ?????

I’m pretty sure the person behind the mask is the Scion, Oramis, and this part of the story/explanation got cut when they condensed everything.

Oramis and the Scions are also another post/explanation entirely

Gemini 16 lured everyone to Iokath

the full explanation is a post unto itself

but it’s the only thing that makes sense (with her motivation, Vinn’s motivation, their entire dialogue on their first meeting -- again, I’m trying to keep this “short”)

Sixteen literally has recordings of Team Outlander talking about who could have lured everyone there -- implying she was in the Iokath mainframe the entire time they were there on Iokath Fieldtrip #2

also, Vinn Atrius is as dumb as toast

🍞

Theron is actually pretty pissed about someone trying to murder his boss/best friend/girlfriend/boyfriend. And he’s pretty sure he knows who it is. So he goes into ultra THERON LOGIC mode -- which is to say, he becomes an overly paranoid loner -- and decides to infiltrate a death cult.  (again). As you do.

Because via intelligence reports that are for some stupid reason hidden behind group content, he already knows that some conspiracy against the Alliance is afoot. And that they’re being watched. Apparently Lana forgot to read all of her Intelligence dossiers???? 

Since he knows we’re being watched, but can’t figure out how, logically the only thing to do is without any backup whatsoever, try and infiltrate the Death Cult that slammed the door in his face once already. 

Luckily for Theron, Vinn Atrius is a dumbass and says “IDK... you’re pretty close to the Commander”

Theron says “Would a face like this lie to you?” while making this face in the cutscene: 😡  

Vinn’s like “When you’re right, you’re right! Blow up a train for me?” 

Theron: AHAHAHA SURE. I LOVE BLOWING UP TRAINS

Theron, Mentally: ...well, crap. I guess I could tell the Commander about this. BUT THE WALLS HAVE EARS--WAIT I HAVE A BRILLIANT PLAN

Theron proceeds to concoct the most elaborate stage play known to man, which includes:

Leading everyone to the front of the train

Where he can lure both the Outlander and Lana into the front compartment

And shoots Lana with a stun blast, something he has never done before to someone he’s trying to supposedly kill

Then he shoots at the Commander--but not really, because he was shooting out the window on the front of the train

Then he shoots again at the Commander--but not really, because he was shooting at the controls to bring up a shield that prevents the Outlander from following him

And oh no! Now there’s a shield between them, what a tragedy, I guess he can’t pretend to shoot at the Commander and miss for a third time. Guess it’s time to monologue like a Bond villain. What can ya do? It’s not like he has cybernetic implants that help him be an expert marksman. God, that’d be embarrassing.

Since he knows that he’s being recorded by some unseen person, he really hams it up for the camera. He makes this face again, because he’s decided it’s part of his tr8rsona: 😡

The Outlander can react in a variety of ways, but if one of those ways is “UM WTF???? WHY DIDN’T YOU TALK TO ME???” he suddenly breaks tr8r character and goes “I thought about it... but then you might have talked me out of it--AND WE CAN’T HAVE THAT!” 

if you romanced him and say you still love him he makes this face: 😭

And then literally tells the Outlander how to escape from the train before like going “I’m really gonna blow up this train -- in thirty seconds -- gosh it would be a shame if you were still on this train in thirty seconds. When it blows up. When I pull the trigger. That I’m about to do.”

The Outlander leaps off the train, out of the convenient exit point Theron made, with Lana. They’re respectively like “?????” and “🤬🤬🤬🤬”

Vinn thinks this all very convincing. Sixteen is facepalming in the background. Vinn doesn’t listen to her. We don’t see any of this, but it’s kind of implied in future dialogue.

If you’re dating Theron and didn’t try to Force choke him, he sends you a letter going “I STILL LOVE YOU -- CAN’T EXPLAIN WHY I DID THIS BUT ILU PLZ DON’T FORGET ILU oh yeah and the alliance sucks and stuff i guess -- ps. ♥︎♥︎♥︎”

This is apparently something a tr8r would do, because Theron is Vinn’s go-to guy now. And decides to give Theron the task of retrieving a map to this place called Nathema so they can find a giant death machine to kill the Alliance.

Oh wait. That place called Nathema. That Theron has been to before. And knows the exact coordinates too because he was the pilot that flew them there. The place that Valkorion sucked the entire life out of and made a giant wound in the Force. THAT NATHEMA.

This is the part where normal people might think “Maybe I should reconsider my plans”, but they are not Theron Shan. Who shaves his head, throws away a jacket he’s been wearing since he was like fifteen, and heads over to Chiss space, to steal/blow up a map to the Ancient Death Machine.

Actually it’s revealed/hinted at on Iokath, on Copero, and then clarified once again in Nathema Conspiracy, that this machine is literally the Apocalypse

It wipes out entire worlds’ populations in an instant

Background lore indicates that its hunger is endless and has been waiting to rise again and there’s like prophecies about this

If activated and not stopped, this machine will literally annihilate all life in the galaxy

Theron blows up some more things at a resort, runs bravely away away, and then OOPS OH SO ACCIDENTALLY broadcasts his call with the Death Cult, who say their name on camera.

Shockingly, the Alliance intercepts the accidental-on-purpose broadcast and now know the name of Theron’s new cult: The Order of Zildrog

Then like forever and a day passes in real life, but who knows how long in game time, but I guess it’s like, six months or less according to a line of dialogue -- and finally Lana and the Outlander mysteriously get coordinates to a myyyyysterious abandoned outpost. 

And by mysterious, I mean that Lana is the only one who can decode said coordinates because she and Theron came up with the encryption together on Rishi

It’s almost like he’s working from the inside or something

But if you tell Lana that she’s like “NO HE’S A TR8R GRRR THIS A TRAP”

It is not a trap

Lana and the Outlander wander around, and find a bunch of recordings someone conveniently forgot to erase detailing a bunch of infodumps that’s way too long for the Cliff’s Notes version, but boil down to showing and implying an entire novel’s worth of backstory:

Vinn’s manifesto

Theron unconvincingly pretending he really likes death cults

Vinn staring at numbers from data he got from Iokath and zomg Zildrog is reallllll -- the legends of his mighty hunger and DEATH DEALING are true! Squee! Just what he needs to get rid of that pesky Outlander!

Vinn recruiting people who really don’t like you into his death cult

Gemini telling Vinn he really sucks at this masterminding thing, but she needs someone who’s good with people so hey let’s team up!

Oh and she knows where Zildrog is

The Outlander and Lana escape before the space station blows up

Over on the Shuttle of Zildrog, Theron’s like “It’s all up to you now, Commander” and apparently Vinn hears that and is like “Hey Theron, did you remember to erase all of our super sekrit recordings and blow up the space station?"

Theron: 👌

Vinn: 👍

Sixteen: 😒

Back on Odessen Lana’s like “I KILL DA TR8R” regardless of your feelings on the matter as an Outlander. If Arcann’s still alive he’s like “Hey Commander, maybe go easy on Theron? I know the value of forgiveness. Maybe he had his reasons?”

You get corroborating information of literally everything we just learned on the Space Station OF DOOM and Lana’s still like “Nope, still gonna shank me a tr8r! No one tazes Lana Beniko and lives!”

I assume it’s a fun ride to Nathema

Okay I joke. She’s just being protective and "logical”, but honestly if you select literally every single dialogue option supporting Theron throughout this story, illogically Angry Lana can really start to grate after a while

On Nathema, we follow a myyyysterious signal -- to Theron. To the surprise of no one except Lana who’s like “JERKFACE STAY AWAY FROM THE COMMANDER”

Theron proceeds to tell an extremely abbreviated, and slightly more straightforward version of everything above. 

If you’ve romanced him, he reminds you that he promised to do anything to protect you. 

This includes shaving his head, updating his wardrobe, blowing up a train, and putting up with Vinn Atrius’s shit for months on end

The things he does for love

Lana still doesn’t believe him. At this point if you want to, you can be like “Lana plz” and she’s like “OKAY FINE--BUT I’M WATCHING YOU TR8R”

Gemini 16 was watching the entire exchange. Looks like SOMEONE’S cover is blown. Oh well, Theron was done with it anyway.

Vinn is SHOCKED. SHOCKED I TELL YOU.

HOW DARE

THERON????

HOW COULD YOU?????

YOU FRIENDED ME ON SPACEBOOK

WAS IT ALL A LIE

I KEEL HIM

Sixteen is just like “whatever let’s go activate Zildrog”

Vinn: Is this why he kept insulting our Lord and Savior Valkorion?????

Team Outlander fights their way to the site of the Ancient Apocalypse Machine. They meet Shroedinger’s Cultist along the way via holo. 

He/she/they says “hi/plz die”.

There’s sixteen candidates for this spot (two for each class) -- but all sixteen are not death cultists at the same time

This is another thing that requires an entire post to delve into, so another time on that

Team Outlander arrives at the site where Zildrog was installed on Nathema -- coincidentally right at the same spot Tenebrae/Vitiate/Valkorion initiated his first death ritual to grant him semi-immortality. Fancy that.

Vinn has convinced everyone he’s recruited into his death cult to climb into these really dangerous looking pods; not surprising but they’re all basically dead -- because Zildrog required a human sacrifice to be reactivated

A human sacrifice???

In my ancient death machine?

It’s more likely than you think!

Theron shoots Vinn because he’s tired of his shit

Gemini 16 reveals that the Zildrog machine is one half of a larger death device built on Iokath. Where’s the other half?

OH BACK ON ODESSEN. Because it’s the Gravestone. Yes, I know everyone forgot about it at this point, which is kind of easy since we haven’t seen it since KOTET.

The Gravestone blows up the Eternal Fleet. Like, all of it. At once. Also the control console for the Fleet blows up too. This kind of detonates several things on base.

For some reason edgelords on Reddit think this is all Theron’s fault

As if the writers were really going to let us keep that Deus Ex Machina that would literally prevent them from going back to these same whiner’s precious Pub vs Imp conflict

And ignoring the fact that this would have been the end result even if Theron hadn’t gone undercover

I digress

Team Outlander fights Sixteen and defeats her. 

Theron goes to try and finish shutting Zildrog down and Vinn Atrius is like

And stabs Theron in the back with a lightsaber pike

The Outlander can be like 

“FUCK YOU ASSHOLE THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND/BOYFRIEND”

 or “OH NOES” 

or “ASSMUNCH I WAS GONNA DO THAT”

Vinn’s like “DRAGGONNNNNNNNN” as if he was recreating a scene from Dragonball Z, and the holo-Zildrog is like “Here, let me make you go Super Saiyan!” -- and gives Vinn a boss buff

Outlander and Lana fight Vinn and kick his ass. Then kick Zildrog’s ass. Yes, Zildrog is literally just a computer console in the center of the room, and if the Outlander more or less pulls a Kylo Ren on it

The Gravestone blows up -- everyone on Odessen is really confused

Lana tells the Outlander that “WAIT! Theron’s still alive!” -- she’s backed off her murderous rampage at this point and says we have to bring him back to Odessen to save his life

The Outlander can act like any sane person to their boyfriend/best friend/person-who-risked-their-entire-life/reputation-to-save-us/etc and go “Let’s take him home and save his life”

Or can be a dick and literally make Theron live out his worst fear of being abandoned by the people he cares about -- because despite the mountain of evidence that illustrates he literally did all of this to save your life, you can just walk away going “tr8rs never prosper”

This option shows what looks like him dying offscreen

I’m pretty sure he actually survives

Satele sends you a nastygram if you do this, where she directly contradicts a previous letter she sent (to Theron) if you tried to kill her in KotFE Chapter 12

Lana also is not happy with you if you do this, but not like, enough to actually leave or anything

Back on Odessen it’s revealed half of the members of the Alliance are fair weather friends and have abandoned you since you don’t own any super cool space ships anymore

If you brought Theron back with you, he limps up while you and Lana are shooting the breeze and asks if he can stay

You can say yes or no

If you’re romancing Lana you can propose to her around this point

If you’ve romanced Theron (and didn’t tell him to hit the road), you take an ill-advised walk as he’s still limping like crazy, where he reveals that he’s been having nightmares ever since Umbara about you walking away from him and he can never catch up

GEE WHAT DOES THAT SOUND LIKE

He says he knows he doesn’t deserve your trust or forgiveness, but still asks if you can give “your idiot spy boyfriend” a second chance 

You can say no, of course, but if you say yes, there’s a dialogue path that leads to an adorably awkward proposal

And he promises that he and Lana will stay by your side no matter what

THE END

(of that story arc)

Sorry, I know that’s rather disjointed and rushed (despite being as long as it was)! But for such a rushed ending/conclusion, there’s actually a lot of moving parts to the storyline as whole. 

At some point in the future I’ll try to actually expand upon some of those tangent points of “I need more time to explain this properly” -- because there’s a lot of them, and a lot to them. Also cross-referencing the pieces of canon takes time -- but I promise there’s actual canonical evidence and logic trains that make sense for all of that.

[dukeofriven]

Captain Marvel Didn’t Need A Subplot About Sad Familyman Pain: A Very Late Captain Marvel Review

So I finally saw Captain Marvel last night  (like a week ago now but it was the Tuesday before Endgame came out and then this sat in my drafts folder for days and days) - yep, down to the wire almost - so I’ve obviously missed all the Super Important Captain Marvel discourse that Tumblr prattled on about: still, I’ll add my thoughts to the pile.

An incredible cast with great chemistry can do nothing to fix one of the blandest scripts since Doctor Strange, which at least had imaginative vistas and unusual set design to carry some of the story-telling weight. Captain Marvel is possibly the worst-looking Marvel film: at the very least I am confident it is probably the worst-edited, and unquestionably the worst-lit film in all the Marvel canon. Captain Marvel almost consciously doesn't seem to want you to see anything in the movie, going out of its way to shoot scenes at night, in boring and dark spaceships, and in sandstorms at night on dark planets. Lousy fight choreography, coupled with rapid-fire edits with lousy coverage, made the film’s frequent hand-to-hand combat scenes visual nightmares. The worst offender is probably Danvers’ escape from the Skrull ship, in which basic shot-to-shot continuity is lost. The action becomes a literal blur as an anarchic assembly of seemingly-random coverage is cut together to create a confusing mess of movement. A fantastic late-film aerial dog fight and an incredibly powerful 'gloves come off' space sequence make the movie's last twenty minutes its visually strongest, but can't repair the damage done by the previous 90 minutes of blur and uncertain scene geography. (Rogue One has this exact same problem viz. rear-loading the entire movie onto the last twenty minutes.) The movie is at its best when it chucks the undeveloped plot out the window and just lets characters talk to one another, revealing their warmth and great on-screen chemistry, making otherwise forgettable dialogue work through great delivery and comedic timing. This is how most MCU films work anyways: good-to-great actors take weak dialogue and make it work through talent and charm. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any dialogue in the MCU that’s good for reasons other than excellent delivery: Marvel doesn’t seem to care much for writers who have a grip on the craft of dialogue.

The moment the plot reasserts itself, which usually means pretending that anyone cares about Jude Law's one-note bad guy, anything good about the film disappears. There's the bones of a great movie here hampered by incredibly poor framing decisions. Rather than reduce the flashbacks to five-second bursts of mental confusion, a better version of the film would have had two parallel stories A) Carol's quest to become a great pilot while fighting against prejudice and B) A present-day fight to regain that past. As is, the film makes the pretence that it has a feminist theme about overcoming patronizing men, but in practice this is introduced through jumbled flashbacks at the start of the film, essentially dropped for the rest of the run-time, and suddenly re-introduced at the final moments with a triumphant declaration of "I don't need your approval." Had the movie spent any of its middle running time acting like Carol was being patronized by anyone, this might have carried more weight. However, perhaps unwilling to make Nick Fury seem sexist in any way, Carol spends most of the movie surrounded by completely supportive people who do nothing but tell her how great she is. A single shitty stranger on a motorcycle with four lines of dialogue does not a 'triumph against chauvinism' narrative make. Even Jude Law's villain seems to be holding Carol back largely out of a need to follow orders and make sure her brainwashing was working - not out of any chauvinistic impulses. You could make the argument that the brainwashing is an analogy for the way patriarchy brainwashes women into accepting false limitations, but the movie isn’t that subtle: it wears its themes on its sleeve. Besides, you don’t get the sense that the Kree are doing anything out of gender motives - frustrating given that neighbouring franchise Guardians of the Galaxy has proven time and time again that you can still fo Asshole Space Chauvinist  without detracting from the heroism of the leading female. (Well, sorta. Guardians 2 does this much better than 1). Part of the problem is that Jude Law spends most of the movie on a ship waiting to get to Carol and having exposition-only phone calls. We get very little sense of Carol's relationship with him outside of the opening punch-up in a dojo - and the weakness is reinforced by Law’s character insisting only that Carol isn’t ready yet to do various things. This could work - there’s more to sexism than blunt and obvious HURR DURR WYMINS CAN’T DO THINGS declaration, but the the narrative repeatedly demonstrates that Jude Law is correct. It takes the whole movie for Carol to learn how to take her own breaks off. Which is a serious problem when she confronts the villain insisting he’d been holding her back. Not... not really, Carol. At no point in the movie did you seem like you were holding back because Jude Law’s voice was in your head telling you you weren’t good enough. You didn’t do X, Y, Z things because you just didn’t know how to do them, and you needed more experience. Jude Law spends the whole movie... not being wrong? It’s an issue. So when Carols stands there and says ‘I've never needed your approval” or some-such it’s great on a thematic level to see a female superhero so utterly reject the so-called necessity of some kind of male mentor (and if nothing else everything Carol learns in the film she learns on her own) - but it’s nonsense in the context of the film itself, where Carol spends most of it ignoring anything Jude Law says to her and doing her own thing, It weird to have her reject a man who has power over her - when he has had no power over her since the pre-credits sequence. She doesn’t listen to him at all the moment they go on their first mission. And, again, despite the text of the movie that framing suggest that Jude Law is not wrong about her not being ready to do the Light Thing until she was ready to do The Light Thing. A better movie would let Larson’s great chemistry with Lashana Lynch sing. I was so hyped going into this movie because Larson was quoted as saying that the “real” relationship of the movie was between Danvers and Rambeau but it’s... it’s not. Maybe in the script Larson originally filmed, maybe it felt that way on set, but if that was the case then it’s completely lost in the edit, where Rambeau has a nice through-line about regaining her place as a pilot but whose relationship with Danvers is mostly relegated to being another “no you’re super great Carol” hype man. Her best scene - where she and Carol sit down and she says how hard is was to lose her best friend - is undermined by some of the most mawkish music ever inflicted on a Marvel film; all the power of the acting  marred by a track that sounds like it came out of All My Children. In a better movie we’d get to see Carol live her life as a woman triumphing in a sexist airforce - half the movie should be flashbacks that build to that fatal, final flight. Danvers and Rambeau meet and crush on one another, mutually crush on Annette Benning (because god-damn), fly planes, fly better than anyone else flying planes, and do karaoke together to forget all the shitty airforce dudes in the lives who resent their good, good plane flying. This shitty people might have identities as villains and maybe do double-casting with Jude Law so we can see the parallels in her old life and her new life instead of pretending for an hour that Jude Law is her friend - like hell, movie, we’re not stupid, that’s not a shock. You cut between those scenes and modern Carol - and you do Good Writing Stuff like make New Carol a different person than old Carol: more timid, more cowed by the brain washing, more subservient to this guy who feeds her approval and virtue. You know - the stuff you do when you want to tell a movie about gaslighting like actually feature gaslighting. And we, the audience, who can see old Carol and how incredible and tough and take-no-shit she was, stare at the screen with burning eyes, hating Jude Law’s guts and waiting for the moment Carol beats his shitty ass into the ground and smooches Rambeau. And we see that Carol come back - fighting and clawing against this brain chip. And maybe the Supreme Intelligence could actually be in the movie as a villain like the movie seemed to want, instead of a brief cameo at the start of the film and then a baffling return at the end as some kind of ‘final boss’ that we don’t give a damn about because they sat out the entire movie. The film should come to a head with the crash of the experimental jet coinciding with the moment Carol remembers it in the present - maybe we take it a step further and use that great Skrull framing device at the start of the film: the past and the recent present align in the actual-present in the Skrull machine as Carol both remembers her old life, realizes the Skrulls are just trying to help her, and wakes up. Her eyes Do The Thing and she leaps out the back of Rambeau’s plane and blows the Supreme Intelligence’s armada up (not Ronan, because nobody gave a shit the first time why would you introduce a nobody like this instead of the person you want to be the Big Bad in your movie?) like a badass just like she does in the current film and then beats the shit out of Jude Law for some serious emotional catharsis. A casualty of this would be less screen time for Samuel L. Jackson. Who gives a shit? This is Carol and Rambeau‘s movie not Scary CGI Plasticine Jackson and Really, Really, Really Scary CGI Plasticine Clark Greg’s movie. You might get less Ben Mendelsohn too. A shame but, and I can’t stress this enough this should be a movie about Carol and Rambeau and Anette Bening. Ben Mendelsohn’s need to reunite with his loving wife and daughter has no place here. Did not need a subplot about manpain.

Or, conversely, if you want a movie about a totally badass female superhero kicking ass then cut out the gaslighting plot entirely. Make a different movie. Go the Iron Man route where Tony Stark is allowed to be an egotistical badass throughout and nobody ever patronizes because we don’t write movies about men that way. Just do the same for Carol (but not literally, because Ant-Man already did “Iron Man But Again” and it sucked). Really: you want to write the great feminist superhero movie? Don’t make it about a woman’s struggles against shitty men. Just make it about an awesome woman doing awesome things and stop making The Woman’s Superhero Movie be defined by her relationship with A Man’s World (see also Wonder Woman and almost every period piece about a female character ever made). Stop Othering the woman in her own movie! Finally, Captain Marvel has one of the most generic and instantly forgettable scores, a problem with Marvel generally but actively noticeable here as scenes with good acting are ruined by saccharine music like a bad soap opera. Captain Marvel is a mediocre and forgettable film, another in a long line of movies I got hyped for as some kind of ‘feminist masterpiece’ and discovered a lot of the same old shitty, lazy superhero tropes with the clunky addition of what a boardroom of executives think constitute feminist themes according to their quantitative marketing data. I will say for the eight year old girls out there it was a powerful movie and they were inspired seeing a woman superhero and I won’t take that away from then or pretend it’s not great. But they could and deserved a much better version of this movie - one in which that unquestionably glorious fuck-shit-up scene where Carol smashes through a battle fleet like it’s fucking paper because fuck you I am the biggest badass this franchise has ever seen Thor got punched by a star once who cares watch me atomize a dreadnought with my face! was matched with the same level of care elsewhere in the picture - so when Danvers lands and beats the stuffing out of Jude Law we’re not struggling to remember his character’s name which I haven’t successfully done once this entire review. I have yet to see Endgame but I have high hopes that - much like Paul Rudd and Benedict Cumberbatch - once out of the confines of her own under-written movie Brie Larson will get a chance to really shine, because we don’t get to really see Carol Danvers until that one great ship-smashing scene and that’s a pity. We should have had a chance to know the Captain Danvers of the USAF and to be able to mourn her even as we celebrated the emergence of the new Space Badass Danvers - who isn’t the same person, who can’t be, but is something greater than before. (For the record this isn’t a bad movie. It really is just a mediocre one. It’s far, far from the MCU’s worst film. That would be - despite my biases screaming ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ - still probably Thor: The Dark World, which you likely forgot existed again.)

[kendrixtermina]

Your leadership styles for the 3H lords was very interesting to read and lined up with what I’ve seen so far in my playthroughs. I recruited Ferdinand in the AM route, to see how a character who’s defined so much in the context of Edelgard would be written there, and his doubts about Dimitri’s fitness as a leader were very telling. Are there any other moments when recruited characters call out the lords’ ability to lead like that?

First, a disclaimer: I kinda played all the routes with only the original cast plus that one person where you get a spare dialogue window, because I sort of wanted the experience/vibe with the original casts and was curious about everyones ‘canonical’ deaths. 

I then found a youtuber who had everyone recruited on their ng+ runs but they did Blue Lions first so I have no idea what sort of unique recruitee dialogue you get on the Kingdom route 

If you find me a link to someone who did the Kingdom route with everyone recruited I’d kiss your virtual feet. I borrowed my Brother’s switch and it is now back with him - I am a stereotypical broke millennial... ^^°

- but what you say there seems in line with his  “a King shouldn’t be too emotional” lines as in the other routes. I actually didn’t know that/ think it’s pretty interesting though Ferdinand generally does hold the view that one should speak freely to and stand up to their leaders, that sounds like him and I kinda really wanna see it though it might turn out to be exactly the same line just slightly different XD

Though I suppose you could just fit it into the general plot of AM itself where, recruitee or otherwise starts having more and more doubts about the initial revenge trip. 

I don’t actually think Ferdinands’s that much ‘defined’ by Edelgard (though I suppose i see how it could look that way in the first few chapters) he’s got bucketloads of characterization outside their rivalry which never gets that serious, prominent or embittered to begin with.... notably he always invariably ends up as a politician/statesman regardless of which route you’re on, (apart from that one ending where he marries Manuela and Edelgard makes her prime minister ), a far cry from the route-specific variations you see with  Felix or to a lesser extent Alois and Bernadetta. 

I suppose it comes up a lot in his support chain with Byleth but that’s actually the only one, and even there it turns out half wax through that it’s just an outlet for his fear of not amounting to anything. 

So voicing objections is just Ferdinand being Ferdinand, or differences between Ferdinand and Dimitri,  more than it would necessarily have anything to do with Edelgard.  (though both are very expressive, Ferdinand at least values composure and restraint, which you also see in his supports with Caspar or Hubert, whereas Dimitri is a very emotional person and, though sort or repressed for politenes/formalities sake,  values being a very emotional person.) 

It’s not like he doesn’t disagree with Edelgard on stuff. He’s the one sociable, conventionally-presentable semi-traditional dude among the Black Eagles, also the only believer of the bunch though he’s not super devout. At some point he voices the intention to talk her out of abolishing the nobility and then in their A support when he explains his reasoning (basically, ’we need to produce trained politicians somehow’) they cook up a plan that involves free public education and considered an improvement by both of them.

I might be overlooking something/ that wasn’t something I was specifically looking for/paying attention to/ which i might keep in mind in the future, there are surely a lot of lines where the characters aren’t too thrilled about the general destruction or misfortune befalling their home faction, but not per se criticism. 

The only thing that really comes to mind is that one line where Sylvain wishes that Edelgard and “her idiot sidekick” (rude!) would try negotiating more, though this is somewhat offset by Edelgard’s lines about how she “tried to save him”/likely attempted negotiations during the time skip (Though by the time they get to the Tailtean plains she does specify that his head be removed, so point taken. She has many talents but negotiation isn’t one of them... though not at all because of the often purported “she doesnt care how much havoc she wreaks and thinks only she is right/can fix things” but rather because she deals poorly with being in vulnerable positions and doesn’t really expect to be understood. Projecting strenght doesn’t really disarm ppl or put them at ease, and influencing others, according to many a reputable life advice book, is often about making yourself appear influencable)

Alas while both have been all for negotiating at various points it was never at the same place at at the same time. You’d need Dimitri out of stubborn mode and Edelgard in a situation where she isn’t already cornered or at least one of them would go kamikaze and force the other’s hand. 

Also Sylvain's just generally cynical about everyone/ never fully gets on board with anything, he  notably has exactly the same “whoever won will say they’re right” no matter if he’s fighting for Edelgard or Dimitri and says a lot of critical things about the latter too that sorta make you think about him a bit differently, like hinting at his vindictive side when he first defects (”His highness gets pretty scary when he’s like that... I wonder how I’m going to die”) and stating that he already lowkey hated the empire during their time at the academy/ even before the big reveal and avoided associating with adrestian students (Though this also makes sense considering that he was already investigating/suspecting Arundel before everything went to hell, and adds a tragic angle like he was suspecting that these people he considers relatives kinda did it but he was really really hoping that they werent and then the apparent confirmation just slaps him in the face and from there on his choices are a) get himself killed trying to avenge the actual culprit or b) survive and find out the truth,  but that truth happens to be that the person who was his mom in all ways but the body fluids one never loved him.  “Poor Dimitri” is a sentence that cannot be said often enough. )