#han jisung theater au

[3rachasdomesticbanana]

Boyfriend's Best friend | Han Jisung

•Synopsis: Like the embers shared between you and your boyfriend's bestie, boundaries are burned away until there's nothing but smoke and ash. Can you come back from being too badly burned by the mistake you two made? Or will the bitter taste remain, ruining everything?

•Pairings: Han Jisung x Female Reader

•Content Includes: smut, cheating, unprotected sex, heavy use of weed, betrayal, lies, secrets, regret, heartbreak, college au, friends to ?

Want more smut? Follow the banana 🍌

Your boyfriend of one year is cheating on you.

You knew that; he just doesn't know that you know. Even his best friend knows you know, but out of respect for your wishes, he's kept quiet. Why? Because despite Danny and Jisung being inseparable since diapers, Jisung has been a true friend to you since you met Danny at the coffee shop years ago. Jisung isn't just someone you share music theory class with; he's also the vocalist and lead guitarist of the band Respirator, where you play the drums.

So you've got an alliance with Jisung. He was there for you the night you found out. Alone in the campus auditorium, you texted Jisung. Your first instinct was to call your best friend Ana, but interrupting her date with Chris was out of the question. Jisung stayed with you in that cold, creepy theater and let you cry into his chest for hours. He just couldn't understand why you continued to stay, why you continued to let Danny fuck you, knowing he's fucking someone else. He knew where his friend was before he'd come back to their shared apartment and yet he'd hear your moans through the poorly insulated walls.

“I have no excuse for him, Y/N. He's an asshole for playing you like this. I've tried to get him to see the error of his ways, but fuck… he's only thinking with his dick,” Jisung says, shaking his head and glancing at his friend who's fast asleep on the couch.

A night of forgotten textbooks and study notes overtaken by weed, beer, and pizza has knocked your boyfriend out cold. You don't look in the direction of the couch; instead, you inhale the hot smoke from the joint between your fingers, letting your head fall back before blowing the smoke into the air. You lay down on the hard cedarwood floor, your foot lightly bumping one of the many pillows piled up in one corner where Jisung sits.

“Yeah, there's no point in talking to him, Ji. He'll only do what he wants, not what's right,” you say, taking another hit and passing it over to Jisung.

Your fingers brush when he reaches for it, and you feel tempted to crawl over to him so he can hug the numb feeling in your chest away. You could use some genuine affection after watching Danny sneak off earlier with the excuse of needing to speak to his Tech professor. But if Mr. Campbell has turned into a little blonde with pigtails and a short pink skirt, then he most definitely wasn't in a meeting with his professor.

The little blonde… you don't even know who she is or if she even goes to college. The only thing you know is that you are nothing like her. Where her wardrobe is probably ninety percent pink, yours is ninety percent black. Typical style of a girl in a band: your jeans have rips in them and are either too tight or too loose. Your shirts are a bit of the same; sometimes they hug the curves of your breasts and waist, other times they swallow you up. Your thoughts are heavy in your smoky, hazy mind, and the soft strumming from Jisung's guitar sets the ambiance of your momentary self-pity.

“Maybe I should change up my style, Ji. Do you think then he might love me again?”

God, that sounds awful, you think as soon as the words leave your mouth. You cover your face with your hands and then drape them over your stomach. The baggy My Chemical Romance band tee has bunched up, and your midsection feels the occasional breeze from the open window, making you shiver.

“Nah, Y/N, don't think that. Your style is what makes you, you. If he can't see how hot you are no matter what you wear, then that's his problem, not yours,” Jisung says seriously.

You hear him suck in the smoke and exhale slowly. With heavy lids, you turn your head to the side and look at him. He smiles as his fingers glide over the strings of his fiery red guitar, his eyes half-lidded and pink with a lazy smile.

“Thanks, Ji,” you mumble and return the equally lazy smile.

He keeps his eyes on you, his gaze lingering longer than usual, and it unexpectedly makes your pulse race. There's something about his eyes that has always had a hypnotic effect on you. Siren eyes, they lure you in, making it impossible to escape unless he lets his gaze drop. He closes his eyes when the smoke threatens to get in them, breaking the hold you weren’t even aware he had on you.

The joint hangs from his lips, a thin trail of smoke billowing up around the rim of his hat and curling toward the ceiling. He inhales slowly, the smoke filling his lungs before he exhales and opens his eyes, watching the way you look at him. So laid-back with that dreamy expression on your face, his thoughts betray him for the third time tonight. An image created from smoke appears in his mind: you're looking at him exactly the way you are now, only you're on your knees as he cradles your face in his hands, fucking himself into your warm mouth. That’s the tamest fantasy he's had tonight. The others are far more explicit, like scenes pulled straight from a hentai.

Throughout the night, Jisung struggled to focus on any of his study material. It wasn't just because he was mentally drained from studying. Sure, that was part of it, but the sight of you chewing on your lush pink lips while you went over your notes for music theory kept distracting him. They looked so soft and your constant chewing made them red and puffy. He wondered if you dug your teeth into the flesh just like that when Danny was inside you. He couldn't help but picture you whimpering and whining past your trapped bottom lip while he drilled his dick into your sweet pussy. He already knows what you sound like so it's not hard to imagine the faces you would make.

He couldn't shake the image of those same lips of yours being covered in his warm, sticky cum. His imagination was too vivid with you right in front of him and the weed from the gummy he ate before you and Danny showed up. He had been rock hard and throbbing for hours, making studying beyond frustrating. It turned into a battle with his own mind. So he was more than happy to welcome the smoke sesh. Sure, he felt a bit guilty for daydreaming about his buddy's girl, but it's not like he'd ever act on it. It's all just harmless thoughts, he told himself. It's not like he was in love with you or anything… he just found you to be the embodiment of perfection in human form. Seriously, Danny calls you Jisung's twin more times than you're aware, so it's natural for him to think of you as the coolest chick he's ever met. You wouldn't be in the band he created if he didn't think highly of you.

“You want another hit?” he asks, holding the joint out to you with his index finger and thumb.

Your eyes lock onto his hands, noticing the multiple silver rings that decorate each of his long fingers and the veins that crisscross the back of his. More times than you can count you've heard girls talking about how sexy his hands were and you never noticed how right they are until now. Noticing the way his fingers loosely wraps around the neck of the guitar, your brain goes to the gutter and starts wondering if that's how he holds his cock when he's jerking off to the sound of you getting fucked. You know he does it. You could see it in his face one day when you bumped into him on the way to the bathroom. His hair stuck to his forehead, his cheeks were flushed and the large swallow he made when your bodies connected told you what he was doing in the next room.

With a slow nod, you sit up and move closer and take it from him, your fingers brushing against his again only this time there's something that passes between you but you ignore it, bringing the joint to your lips and taking a deep drag.

You inhale deeply, letting the smoke fill your lungs before you exhale slowly, watching the tendrils curl into the air. You feel the heat, the burn of the smoke and it feels almost euphoric. The room feels warmer, cozier, and everything with your boyfriend is forgotten for now with more thc in you. Jisung watches you, completely captivated by the way you wrap your lips around the filter end gently and suck in the smoke. His eyes darken for just a second before he pats the space in front of him on the floor.

“Come here, I'll teach you the basics,” he says, his voice low and inviting.

“Really?” you ask excitedly after taking another puff and setting the joint into the ashtray. He chuckles, nodding with a large smile your way.

You close the distance, settling between his legs with your back to his front and it feels like the most normal natural thing in the world. He hands you the instrument resting it in your lap, and his arms encircle you as he guides your hands to the strings. The heat of his body seeps into yours, and you can feel his breath against your neck, slow and even. His breath is warm, smelling faintly of the weed you just shared, and sugary soda that's oddly comforting to you.

“What song do you want to play?” he asks, his voice a soft hush against your ear. The sensation to your ear and the deep rumble on your back from when he speaks, makes you shiver involuntarily.

You think for a moment, your mind swimming through the smoky haze and then you smile. "Thinking Out Loud?" you say phrasing it like a question.

He chuckles softly, his breath tickling your ear. "Ah, my man Sheeran. Good choice, y/n. Not gonna lie, I thought you'd pick one of our songs." he murmurs, taking your hand in his and begins to guide your fingers over the strings.

The notes are clumsy at first, your movements unsure but Jisung is patient, his hands steady as he teaches you the chords. You giggle softly as you fumble through the chords, “Good thing I'm a drummer. This is harder than it looks.” You say with a laugh and Jisung’s laughter mingles with yours.

His hands are warm and strong, his touch firm but gentle. He's the perfect guitar teacher, kind and informative. Once you start to get the hang of playing, he lets you play on your own, his arms still loosely around you, elbows resting on his knees. He begins to sing softly, his voice smooth and melodic fills the room and your heart with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

"... People fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just the touch of a hand,"

His voice is mesmerizing, hypnotic even and you’re impressed. You've heard him sing but nothing as soft as this. Each note wraps around you like a tight embrace. You join in on the last four verses, the thc boosting your confidence and your voices come together sweetly. The song ends with the last note and chord lingering in the air. You’re giggling excitedly, so lost in the music, that you almost don’t notice the hardness pressing against your back until your laughter subsides. Your body feels suddenly hot when you do, a flush spreading across your skin. You turn your head slightly to look at him, intending to say something, but the words catch in your throat.

He knows you can feel it, how can you not? He's rock hard. It's not that he was thinking of anything particularly sexy. It was your singing voice that did it for him. The way your voices mingled together sounded hauntingly beautiful to him. Not to mention the barely noticeable vibration through your body when you sang. He has no control over the effect you had on him. He willed is dick to go down the entire time you two sang but there was nothing he could do but pray you wouldn't notice. That was out of the question once your laughter shook your body. His cock twitched  inside of his shorts, pulsating against your back. He held his breath and hoped you wouldn't say anything but you turned to look at him. You parted your lips prepared to speak but said nothing, only quiet panting made its way out of you. The way you looked at him, the way you felt in his arms and your lips, right there so close to his, made something inside of him crack.

Before you can react, Jisung’s lips are on yours, kissing you with sudden urgency. Your mind goes blank, every thought drowned out by the intensity of the kiss. His hands are on your hips, pulling you back closer to him like you'll drift away like the smoke of the joints from earlier. You can’t help but respond, your fingers tangling in his hair knocking his hat off as you kiss him back desperate for more. Jisung’s grip on you tightens as his tongue explores your mouth with a desperate need. The guitar is forgotten, pushed aside as he shifts, turning you so that you're facing him. He gently lays you down onto the pile of pillows on the floor, his body pressing you down into the pile that feels like clouds. The sensation is overwhelming, every touch, every kiss, it's all amplified by the cannabis coursing through your veins.

"Y/N," Jisung whispers, his voice rough with desire, as he presses his clothed erection against your core. The friction is maddening, sending shockwaves of pleasure through you and you moan in response as your hips come up off the ground, bucking against him.

You're not thinking anymore, your hands just move on their own seeking more of what's making you feel so good. Everything around you is hazy and black around the edges like a dream. All you’re aware of is the incredible sensation that seems to take over your entire body.

"Jisung…" you breathe, your voice trembling.

He looks at you, his eyes dark with desire. He silently pleads for you to tell him to stop but you can't. You don't want him to stop. You want him, need him in a way that you can't describe with words.

"Don't stop." you whisper back, your voice barely audible. “More.”

He growls low in his throat, his hands squeezing your hips as he starts to move faster, the pressure building, driving you both closer to the edge. It feels incredible, each rub, each thrust sending sparks of electricity through you. Jisung’s hips move faster, his breath coming in harsh pants as he grinds against you. You can feel yourself getting close, building to a crescendo and you know he's close too, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He doesn't care that he's about to cum in his pants just from dry humping you. You feel so damn incredible in his arms. But you stop him suddenly, your hands on his chest and he looks at you with wide glassy eyes. 

"I need you inside me." you say, your voice breathy and husky.

He stops his movements, his eyes searching yours. "Are you sure?" he asks, his voice thick with lust.

You nod, your hands moving to his shorts, tugging them down. "Yes. Please. Fuck me, Jisung."

In the haze of weed and pleasure, a thought cuts through the fog. This is wrong. Danny is just a few feet away, sleeping peacefully in Jisung’s bed. But the thought is fleeting, quickly drowned out by the overwhelming feeling of Jisung’s body pressing into yours. He fumbles with his shorts, pulling them down just enough to free his cock. You lift your hips, helping him slide your leggings and panties down in one quick move. Back between your legs, he positions himself at your entrance and a bead of precum forms, dripping down and disappearing into one of the pillows. His eyes meet yours as he rubs the head of his cock up and over your folds, collecting your arousal and getting tip nice and wet. You shudder keeping your eyes locked onto his. 

He rubs the length of his cock against you, teasing your clit in a circular motion. Maybe if he doesn't actually fuck you, it's not that big of a betrayal to his friend, he thinks lamely, knowing how idiotic that sounds. Still, Jisung convinces himself that if there's no actual penetration, maybe he won't feel so guilty. If he just gets you both off like this, he could somewhat live with himself.

Your body shakes under him each time he thrusts upward, and he can feel your pussy getting wetter, making things far more slippery. "Yeah, you can cum like this, y/n, I know you can. Just cum like this for me. Fuck, let me cum on your stomach, and we can innocently continue our night," he coaxes you inside his head, his hips moving faster. You're so wet that Jisung slips and slides over your pussy with ease. He misjudges when he goes to push up again, moving far too quickly and slams hard into your cunt, making you both moan louder than intended. Both of you freeze, glancing over at Danny as he shifts in his sleep and rolls over to face the back of the couch.

“Oh fuck,” you and Jisung groan quietly in unison, trying to stay still with your hearts beating fast with fear.

"Fuck, you're so tight, y/n," he groans, his voice quiet and strained. "You feel so fucking good."

He starts to move, his thrusts slow and deep at first, allowing you to adjust to his size. But it doesn't take long for the need to take over and soon he's fucking you forcefully and fast, his hips slamming into yours with a desperate intensity. Each thrust hits a spot deep inside you, that makes you want to scream. You close your eyes and see spots of lights behind your lids in the same purple hue that glows around the TV in the room. You can barely form coherent thoughts, the pleasure overwhelming your senses. All you can do is moan his name, over and over, as he takes your pleasure higher. The room is filled with the slapping sounds of skin against skin, the wet, obscene noises of your arousal mixing with your moans and his grunts.

He leans down, capturing your lips again in a searing kiss. His tongue explores your mouth with the same intensity as his thrusts and you can taste the sweet saltiness of his sweat on his skin. His hands roam your body, squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples through your bra, adding to the onslaught of sensations. You can’t keep your hands off him, your fingers dig into his back as he fucks you hard, gliding down his skin making thin faint red lines. Jisung's thoughts are a mess. He's never felt like this before, never been this out of control. He knows he shouldn't be doing this, that he's betraying his best friend, but he can't stop. Your pussy feels too good to him, too perfect. You're perfect. The way your pussy pulls him in and squeezes his cock. It's heaven to him.

“So wet… oh god. So fucking perfect, y/n. Fuck,” he whispers, looking down at you.

You can only moan in response, your nails digging into his shoulders as he thrusts harder, faster. The pleasure is a flame setting you both ablaze. It’s messy and intense, growing bigger and wilder with every touch and movement amplified by the high.

“Say my name,” he demands, his voice rough.

Jisung’s dominance surprises you, the way he takes control, guiding your body with a confidence that leaves you breathless. You open your eyes and gasp at the expression on his face. His face is a contradiction of emotions.

“Jisung!” you cry out, the pleasure overwhelming.

“That’s right,” he murmurs, his hand sliding between your bodies to find your clit. He rubs it in time with his thrusts, sending you spiraling toward the edge. “Just like that, baby,” he groans, with a smirk on his lips. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Ji… Jisung, I’m close.” you gasp, your hands pulling him closer. He speeds up, his thrusts becoming more erratic, more desperate. The tension coils tighter and tighter inside you.

"Cum when I tell you to, y/n. Just a little more." he moans, closing his eyes. "Ah! Little more, a little more, baby. Yeah... oh fuck." He whispers, slowing his pace to pull out of you completely and thrust back in quickly.

He can feel himself getting closer and he starts to move faster. His thrusts become more frantic, more crazed, and you can’t hold back any longer. You can feel yourself hurtling towards the edge, the pleasure is too overwhelming. You cry out, arching your back and squeezing your eyes shut tight as your body tenses and the orgasm hits. Wave after wave after wave of pleasure floods through your veins leaving you breathless, shaking.

"Ji, Ji I'm cumming!" you gasp, your hands gripping him hard feeling him batter your cervix with the head of his cock.

Jisung’s grip tightens on your hips, his thrusts becoming more urgent. "Yeah, cum for me," he growls, his voice thick with desire. "Cum all over my cock, baby. Oh fuck!"

Your walls clench around him, milking his cock as he continues to pound into you. With a loud moan, you fall apart. Your orgasm rips through you with an intensity that leaves you feeling utterly and thoroughly fucked and incapacitated.

"Fuck, I'm cumming, y/n! I'm cumming-Ah!" he groans loudly, eyes squeezing shut.

He thrusts a few more times before he cums, spilling into you as he moans your name. The feeling of his warmth filling you is almost too much and it prolongs your orgasm, leaving you trembling and spent beneath him.

For a few seconds you both don't move, panting hard as your breathing slowly returns to its regular pace but as the high of the orgasm fades, reality crashes down like a tidal wave. Jisung pulls out of you quickly, his face full of panic and regret.

"What the fuck did we do?" he mutters, more to himself than to you. His hands shake as he runs them through his hair, over and over, looking like he's on the verge of a breakdown.

“What did I do? I'm dreaming... yeah. I gotta be,” he screams internally. But the warmth of your pussy around him, still lingers, insisting otherwise. He glances down, seeing his cock slick and creamy with your cum, more undeniable evidence of what just happened. This wasn’t a weed-induced wet dream; he’s done the unthinkable— he's fucked his best friend's girlfriend.

You sit up and reach out to comfort him, but he flinches away from your touch, the gesture cutting you like a knife. "I don’t regret it," you whisper, your voice trembling but sincere. But the look on his face is clear; he does.

"We can’t do this again," Jisung says, his voice firm but soft. "No matter how amazing it felt, we can’t. I... I can't betray Danny like that again, jagi. Fuck, y/n. I'm sorry."

Despite knowing you shouldn't, you can't help it; you lean in and your lips meet his. For a sweet, blissful second, Jisung kisses you back. You could blame your actions on the weed but you know you're more aware when you're high than when you're drunk. Jisung breaks the kiss and covers his mouth with his hands, glancing over at his sleeping friend.

“This is wrong, y/n. So, so fucking wrong,” he whispers, his voice filled with pain. “I've known Danny since we were in diapers. What happened... It was a mistake. We can't…”

His face is full of pain and confusion, tears threatening to spill over. You want to reach out, to comfort him, but he doesn't even want you near him let alone touch him now. That realization shatters you. Your own eyes sting with the threat of tears and you turn away, quickly gathering your clothes to hide your face.

You nod, fighting back tears as you get dressed. The lingering taste of weed on your tongue now tastes like ash and guilt gnaws at your insides at seeing Jisung so conflicted. He watches you, his silence heavy with all the words he wishes he could say. He wants to stop you, to pull you into his arms and kiss away the tears that threaten to fall but he knows he can't. You're Danny's girlfriend even if he doesn't deserve you. Jisung's already fucked up once, he can't again no matter what his heart is telling him.

Your hands are trembling while you fumble to pull on your pants, wishing there was something you could say to make things better. The silence is deafening, broken only by your shaky breathing and Danny's soft snoring. You gather your textbooks and notes, desperately trying to hold yourself together, to not break down before you can make out the door. Jisung lets you go, his heart breaking with every step you take. Inside, he's screaming for you to stay, but he doesn’t move. He just lets you go because he knows that it’s for the best.

"I'm sorry, Ji." you say, your voice cracking. "I’m so sorry..."

Your voice sounds broken and It's barely audible, but it feels like a scream in the silence. When your hand turns the knob, the tears finally spill over and you rush through the open door. The door closes behind you with a finality that feels like a knife to the heart.

Jisung stares blankly at the door as it shuts, the lingering scent of sex and weed hanging in the air. The bitter taste of disloyalty and heartache, like poison, is bitter on his tongue. He collapses onto the floor after pulling up his shorts and buries his face in his hands. The room feels emptier than ever and Danny's sleeping presence is a constant reminder of the betrayal, making him want to throw up.

"Y/N... what the fuck have we done?" he whispers to himself, his voice breaking with a choking sob, wondering if you two will ever get through this without being burned even more.

★𝔗𝔞𝔤 𝔏𝔦𝔰𝔱★

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[straystars-and-planets]

campus couple: a stray kids x fem!reader university/college au

CC (Campus Couple): [acronym] referring to a couple who attends the same university.

Otherwise known as (synopsis): how you meet & fall in love with each of the Stray Kids members during college/university. hcs + short scenarios for each member. Inspired by that one SKZ code episode where they were joking about campus couple and other college slang.

tags: fem!reader, non-idol!au, college/university au, fluff (so much fluff), some minor angst (with happy endings!), some suggestive scenes

a/n: this is my first set of works for skz + first time writing for kpop! reblogs are appreciated + constructive feedback welcome 💕

general masterlist | taglist form

Bang Chan

Major: Music Production | Minor(s): Vocal Performance

Part 1 - music when the moon rises (how we met) 8.30.23 (new!)

Part 2 - i fall asleep to songs about you - 9.3.23

Lee Know

Major: Biology (pre-veterinary track) | Minor(s): Dance, Theater

Part 1 - he still loves his cats (and you) - tba

Part 2 - can cats learn contemporary dance? - tba

Seo Changbin

Major: History | Minor(s): Kinesiology, Music Production

Part 1 - he's not a gym bro (he's more) - tba

Part 2 - changbin salon and the dwaekki plushy - tba

Hwang Hyunjin

Major: Literature | Minor(s): Visual Media Studies/Arts, Dance

Part 1 - i'll paint cards with watercolor flowers - tba

Part 2 - you are always beautiful in my eyes - tba

Han Jisung

Major: Music Production | Minor(s): Intl. Comparative Studies

Part 1 - The student council president is actually a shy hamster? - tba

Part 2 - Fantastic Student Council President Han Jisung - tba

(a/n - if you couldn't tell I tried to base Han's titles off of anime/k-drama titles in honor of Han's love of watching anime/dramas!)

Lee Felix

Major: Culinary Arts | Minor(s): Dance, Game Design

Part 1 - best chocolate chip cookies secrets #bakinghacks - tba

Part 2 - trying cooking hacks (ft. my girlfriend!) - tba

Kim Seungmin

Major: Psychology | Minor(s): English, Chemistry

Part 1 - honesty is the best policy (most of the time) - tba

Part 2 - one standard deviation away from becoming a mad scientist - tba

Yang Jeongin

Major: Fashion | Minor(s): Vocal Performance, Graphic Design

Part 1 - i'll sing until you notice - tba

Part 2 - our OOTD (outfit of the day) - tba

©@straystars-and-planets 2023. do not copy, translate or repost my work.

[teacasket]

where skz would take you on your first date

genre: fluff   au: non-idol au   warnings: none   word count: 0.6k   pairing: gn!reader x ot8

bang chan - park

Your first date is a complete surprise. He told you to dress nice, so you were expecting to go to a fancy restaurant, but it’s actually a picnic under the stars! He’s got a basket of caprese sandwiches, watermelon slices, and a whole apple pie. While the two of you sit on a red gingham blanket to eat, he makes up silly stories about the stars, and you tell him the real stories about the constellations.  He then asks for you to tell him some about the moon, thinking that you don’t know any, but you surprise him with one about two lovers. 

lee minho - cat café

His cats are the most important things to him, so he absolutely needs to know if you like them too. Also, a whole afternoon surrounded by cute kitties? Absolute heaven. You are beyond excited when you walk into the café. When you coo over every single cat that passes by and try to pet every one, he has to stop himself from joining in because he can’t let you know his weakness. When a tabby chooses to curl up on your lap and take a nap instead of his, he’s a little offended but simultaneously pleased. If the cats like you, then surely he will.

seo changbin - amusement park

Changbin doesn’t go to amusement parks for the rides. No, he goes to win stuffed animals at the game stalls. He wants to impress you by winning a giant bear at the dart throwing booth, but as it turns out, you’re way better at the game and end up winning it instead. He finds this incredibly hot. The bear sits between you two when you ride the ferris wheel at sunset. Since you can’t kiss him on top of the ferris wheel like you wanted, you kiss the bear instead and make him take it home. It takes you very little convincing.

hwang hyunjin - ice skating rink

Hyunjin knows how not to fall when ice skating, so he’s pretty much an expert. You have limited experience, so you’re clutching the wall for dear life while he coaxes you to trust him and hold onto his arm. When you eventually cave in, you cling to him like a koala as he teaches you how to properly glide instead of just marching along the ice. After a few rounds, you feel brave enough to try on your own, fall, grab hyunjin’s arm in panic, and accidentally bring him down with you. That kiss he gives isn’t an accident though.

han jisung - movie theater

He’s nervous and regretting his choice to watch a horror movie with you. He was betting that you would be scared and that he would be able to hold your hand to comfort you, but the problem is, he’s also scared, and he definitely can’t hold your hand because his palms are sweaty. You both end up panic-eating all of the overpriced popcorn, and now you’re in distress because there’s a popcorn kernel stuck in-between your front teeth. Luckily, both of you agree that since this is a terrible experience, another first date is in order, preferably ones with no horror movies.

lee felix - arcade

If Felix knew how competitive you were, he probably wouldn’t have picked the arcade. You are an absolute demon at air hockey, and he’s convinced that you have to be cheating somehow because there’s no way you scored five goals in a row. Same thing with the basketball free throwing game. When he beats you at DDR, you demand a rematch three times before reluctantly surrendering because he’s just too good. However, the claw machines best the both of you, and you’re the one who has to drag away before he loses all of his money trying to get that alligator plush.

kim seungmin - beach

It turns out to be more like a photography session. With his camera, he photographs you playing in the waves, looking for seashells, and doing your best not to scream when a bundle of seaweed gets tangled in your legs. While he helps you out, you take pictures of him with your phone, laughing as you capture his grimace when he holds up a long strand to show you. Afterwards, he suggests that maybe the boardwalk is a better place to be and offers to split a churro with you. And what do you know, the vendor has heart-shaped churros.

yang jeongin - pottery class

He really wants to reenact the pottery scene from the movie Ghost. The instructor sees this as well, so when she notices that you’re having some trouble getting your cup into the exact shape you want it in, she suggests that jeongin help you out. He sits behind you, cradling your body with his, and gently guides your hands. It’s way more intimate than he expected, and he’s bright red afterwards. You seem too busy with your brand new cup to notice, but when it’s time to paint and glaze a few days later, you guide his hand to draw a perfect heart in the center of his bowl.

[nyctophilin]

Fake affection | I

sweet anon: Can I request a dom! Han Jisung smut? Where he and the reader are fake dating because Jisung want's to make someone jealous but ends up fucking the reader instead? I love your writings so much!!

Chapter I, Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV, Epilogue

Description: Han Jisung has been rejected by the girl he likes one to many times. He decides that he has had enough and is set on making her want him back. What could possibly make her want him more than seeing him with her rival after she boldly assumed he can’t find anyone better. That way Jisung and Y/N are stuck in a fake relationship until Jisung’s crush falls for him. Or he falls for someone else.

All rights reserved © nyctophilin 2020. Re-posting, copying and translating any of my works is prohibited.

Pairing: Han x fem!Reader, Hyunjin x fem!Reader

Word count: 4.5k

Genre: College!AU, Fake dating!AU, Angst, Fluff, eventual Smut

Warnings: swearing, mention of masturbation

A/N: Wow, so it looks like I am unable of making short fics, haha. I planed for this to be a one-shot but it’s already this long and I don’t want to bore you guys with long fics so I will make a second part and a third if needed but I doubt. I really hope you guys like this one. Feedback is very much appreciated.

      Y/N was tapping her finger on the desk, her head resting in her palm. She was watching the professor walk around in front of the class explaining something but she wasn’t paying attention. Her mind was filled with thoughts about whether or not she was going to get the role. 

      Some people from her university that were majoring in Film Production had to write a script for a short movie and the best five got chosen to be produced. Initially, she believed that only Theater and Film Majors could participate at the auditions but the administration of the school made an announcement one morning informing them that everyone could take part in the audition process. That meant she had to deal with more competitors for the role she wanted.

      Initially, Y/N was the only one who wanted to audition for the main role of one of the movies since people didn’t really catch its concept that well. When the audition day finally came, one Modern Dance major showed up out of nowhere and auditioned as well. The apparition of that particular character made her blood boil with anger.

      Her competitor for the role was none other than Mina, her so-called enemy. They weren’t enemies in the real sense of the word. They just simply didn’t click with one another and silently agreed a long time ago to ignore each other. They weren’t pulling childish stunts on each other, they didn’t speak each other's names unless necessary, they didn’t try to win each other in grades or parties or body counts. They were just mutually ignoring one another. And everything was fine until she showed up there.

      Y/N wasn’t going to lie and say that Mina wasn’t good. Her performance wasn’t exceptional but for someone that has never done that before, she was fairly good. That had her worried about her chances of getting chosen.

      When the bell finally rang ending her suffering she got up in the split of a second and left the room. She could not bear to hear any more of the professor’s babbling. Her boots let out quiet thuds every time they touched the concrete floors. She found herself in front of the announcement board but the paper that was supposed to tell her if she got chosen or not, was missing. Thinking to herself that they probably will put it up later she turned on her heels and made her way towards the cafeteria.

      She met her friend Hayoon there and they sat down at a table situated in the centre of the cafeteria. They talked about how they had been up until then and Hayoon complained about one of her classes and how she’s going to fail it.

      The chatter in the cafeteria died down when the door was slammed open and Mina stomped in, a bitter expression on her face. “I can not believe that they made me a stunt double! What does that even mean?” Her voice was louder than it should have been as she addressed her friends. Her intention was most probably to attract attention.

      A smirk crept on Y/N’s face as she realised that she did, in fact, get the main role. She gave her friend a suggestive eyebrow raise as she slowly took the chopstick to her mouth. Her face dropped when she heard the stomping approaching her. “Hey, loser, what’s a stunt double?” Mina’s voice was scratching her ears. How she managed to sound like one of those toys for dogs sometimes, she’ll never understand.

      “I can’t believe you’ve auditioned for a role without knowing what a stunt double is.” Y/N rolled her eyes at the other girl and a few people from around them chuckled. Mina’s face caught a crimson colour as the embarrassment settled in.

      “Haha, you are so funny!” It was clear by now that the girl was trying to mask her flustered form by trying to embarrass Y/N back.

      The truth was that she didn’t mean to make fun of her. She just let her first thoughts leave her mouth. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.” A sigh left her lips. “A stunt double is a person that executes all the dangerous or action scenes for the main actor so they don’t get injured. Stunt doubles are usually gymnasts, people that know martial arts and all that jazz. They probably chose you because of your dance background.”

      “I can’t believe it. Not only they didn’t give me the role, but they are also going to use me to protect you?” Mina had an annoyed expression.

      “Oh please! Did you really think they were going to choose you? You entered that room without even knowing the concept and somehow managed to get the feel right a couple of times. Meanwhile, some of us actually prepared for that audition.” Y/N was fed up with Mina’s princess behaviour. Always thinking that everything is rightfully hers and expecting everyone to kiss her ass. All that just because her father was donating a big sum of money to the university every term. They are donations at the end of the day and she should not be expecting special treatment just for that.

      Mina’s face became a crimson red for the second time in ten minutes and she stomped away from Y/N’s table. The few people that were watching them averted their eyes when Y/N took a look around.

      From the corner of the cafeteria, someone was watching them with a smirk on their face. Oh, how he got just the perfect idea.

            Y/N sat in the second closest row to the professor. She was in “Canto class” as she liked to call it. It was one of the optional classes she chose to take that year. It wasn’t a compulsory class for Theater and Film majors since you don’t necessarily have to know how to sing to be an actress but she took it anyway because she thought it would be fun. And so far it was.

      A loud bang invaded her left ear and she turned to find Han Jisung having his back to her and chatting with his friends that were seated a few rows behind them. She raised her eyebrow but didn’t question it. It wasn’t like the seat was occupied and she definitely had nothing against him sitting next to her. He probably just wanted to pay more attention since he and his friends are always distracted during class. 

      Y/N turned back to her stuff and opened her notebook to take another look at the notes from last class. Soon after the professor entered the classroom and the chatter died down. 

      She was vigorously writing in her notebook everything the professor was explaining to them. Suddenly she felt a touch on her left elbow and stopped for a second. She immediately resumed her writing, convinced that he probably did that by mistake. Not even a minute later she felt another touch on her elbow this time more evident. She ignored it again not paying much mind to it. Jisung’s elbow collided with hers causing her to push her notebook and scribble on it.

      She snapped her head towards him and felt anger overcome her when she noticed the smirk on his face. “What?” She whispers yelled in his direction.

      “Hi!” He did a short wave of his hand in her direction and she clenched her jaw. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply before going back to her note-taking. She had only five minutes of peace before he poked her side again. She smacked his hand away from her and continued to mind her own business.

      Throughout the class, Jisung kept bothering her and trying to talk to her despite her obvious wish to let her take notes. When the bell rang she got up quickly, her blood boiling and left the room in a hurry hoping she could lose Jisung on the busy halls. As she was hurriedly making her way between the sea of people she felt an arm going over her shoulders and she crashed with the owner of the arm.

      “Why are you in such a hurry babe?” Jisung’s voice rang in her ear as they were practically glued to each other. She grabbed his hand and swung his arm away from her shoulders.

      “For the love of God, what do you want from me Han Jisung?” Exasperation was present in her voice as she threw him an ugly look.

      She couldn’t guess what he needed from her to annoy her to that extent. They were acquaintances and nothing more. They knew each other from that one class they shared and the longest interaction they had was when the professor prepared an interactive class once and they had to work in groups of five.

      He was the university’s “heartthrob” as people liked to call him. Y/N personally thought that that title should be given to Hwang Hyunjin who was majoring in Modern Dance. He was more mature than the rest of his friends, he was friendly with everyone and wasn’t pulling pranks on innocent people to entertain some brainless creatures. But who was she to oppose the masses?

      On top of doing all those things, Jisung was also in a relationship with Mina. Every time they are together they will target someone and will start making fun of them. More Mina than Jisung but he was still entertaining her actions and that made him as guilty as she was.

      “I need to ask you something. Or better, make you a proposal.” He winked at her and she felt an uncomfortable shiver run through her. How disgusting.

      “Ok, and what is it?” She threw him an expectant look and he started looking around.

      “Let’s talk outside where there are fewer people. You got a free period, right?” Confusion made its way on her face.

      “How do you know that? Are you weirdo following me?” She has never talked with him as friends and they share only one class. How on earth would he know her schedule?

      “What? No! I see you hanging out around the university all the time after our class.” She rolled her eyes at his answer and gestured her hand towards the closest exit out of the building signalling him to lead the way.

      Very soon they were seated on a bench under a tree somewhere behind the university. It was her first time coming there. Y/N usually liked to remain at the front of the building since couples usually liked to come there and make out sometimes even fuck.

      “I think we should start dating.” He blurted out and she froze for a second before jumping to her feet startling the man.

      “I knew you were fucking weird. I’m leaving!” What in the actual fuck did she think when she came here. For a second she expected a real conversation but Jisung’s main skills were flirting and making bad jokes. She set her expectations way too high for that conversation.

      She picked her bag from the bench and started leaving only to have Jisung grab her wrist and stop her. “Wait, let me explain. I swear you’ll understand better after.” Y/n wanted to turn and leave but the puppy dog eyes he gave her made her stay and listen to him. Now, don’t get her wrong, his expression didn’t soften her but if he was desperate enough to try the puppy eyes on her then it must be important to him.

      She plopped down on the bench and waited for him to start talking. “Look, I’m pretty sure you know Mina. And I know you two aren’t on great terms. I say we date so you can get back at her for all the things she has done to you.” He raised his eyebrows at her and pursed his lips.

      Y/N was the one that raised her eyebrow next as she leaned her head to the side. “Aren’t you and Mina dating?” 

      “Obviously not.” Jisung used a tone that pissed Y/N off. A tone that said ‘It was so obvious, how can you not know?’ and she didn’t like it one bit.

      “Oh, I’m so sorry! I must have read the signs the wrong way. I mean, it's not like you are always together and you carry her backpack around and you hang out outside of school six days out of seven and kiss before classes and make out behind the university probably right on this bench.”

      A smirk appeared on Jisung’s face. “Who’s following who now?”

      “Don’t flatter yourself. Mina’s voice is so annoying I could hear her every time she talked. When I would turn to see what was up now you two were most times engaged in some sort of PDA.” She spoke fast trying to prove that she wasn’t following him. She didn’t know why she felt the need to do that but the thought of Jisung thinking that she has some sort of interest in him was terrifying. He completely humiliated the last “unpopular” girl that confessed her feelings to him and at that moment the last thing she needed was for him to go around saying she is a stalker.

      “Well, we are getting there. I asked her out and she said that she’ll love to but it’s too fun to tease me. When I asked her ‘What if I get a girlfriend?’ she told me I can not find anyone better for me than her. When I saw you fighting in the cafeteria earlier I knew I found my perfect girl. Not only are you hot, but she also hates you.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at his words.

      “Hot?” Her tone was untrusting as this was the first time someone from uni had said that to her. 

      “Yeah. You didn’t think that guys came to last year’s theatre spectacles because they were actually interested in theatre, right?” A laugh left his mouth at her dumbfounded face as she registered his words. A blank expression adorned her face immediately after trying not to seem so surprised.

      “Well, not anymore.” She let her tongue trace her bottom lip before biting the flesh. “Ok, so tell me what you actually want us to do.” Uneasiness settled inside Jisung as he watched her bored face.

      “Well, I mean what I said. We should date. Or fake dating if you will. That way I can make Mina jealous and push her to run into my arms. I bet she can’t stand seeing me with you for too long.” He looked into her eyes hopefully thinking that maybe he convinced her but his hope was quickly shattered when she opened her mouth.

      “What are you? Five? I don’t want to get back at her and I have absolutely no reason to help you in your sick plan. I’m out of here!” Once again she picked up her bag to leave only for Jisung to grab her wrist and stop her, again.

      “Please Y/N! I’m desperate. I’ve been trying to date her for a year and a half already.” That was pathetic. She had absolutely no reason to help him. None at all. But something pushed her to stay and accept his offer. Maybe she could take advantage of the situation.

      Turning her head towards her she tried to keep a straight face as best as she could. “What do I get out of it?”

      Jisung’s face brightened instantly at her question and he held her hand with both of his. “Anything you want. If it’s possible I’ll do it.” His eyes were pouring into hers and a stupid sparkle was present in them.

      “I guess you were going to do that anyway but I want you to present me to your friends.” The same bored expression that she had on for almost the entirety of their conversation was adorning her face. Jisung was amazed at the lack of emotions she managed to show but she was an actress. Maybe she’s just good at her job.

      “Why? Do you have a crush on any of them?” A smirk was enveloping his facial features and he had a teasing tone. Y/N rolled her eyes at his comment.

      “No. Some of them seem like really interesting people but their only defect was hanging out with you. Now that I have to hang out with you too I might as well start talking to them.” She shook his hands off hers before putting it in her front pocket. “Now I have to go to class cause my free period is almost over. See you later, babe!” She winked at him before turning around and making her way to her next class.

      The next day she met with Jisung in front of the cafeteria so they could walk in together and “announce” their relationship. Somehow he got hold of her number and they texted the night prior about the terms of their little deal. She felt like laughing when she saw how serious he was about it. If he really did end up dating Mina she’ll be convinced that both of them are idiots.

      His arm was over her shoulders as they walked through the tables. Multiple people were staring at them but she decided to ignore them. Upon reaching the table she placed her tray down and took a seat. The people at the table were looking confused at one another and some were throwing Jisung questioning looks.

      “Everyone, meet my girlfriend.” He spoke gesturing with a hand towards her. She smiled at them and waved her hand, muttering a soft ‘Hi!’.

      One of them, who she recognised to be Lee Minho, a Modern Dance major cleared his throat. “Hey. It’s nice to meet you.” He had an awkward smile on. “What are you majoring in?”

      “Yeah, I don’t recall seeing you around campus.” Seo Changbin, a Music Production major added.

      “Oh, I…” She started talking but a puff coming from her left stopped her.

      “Seriously dude? You share a class. She’s L/N Y/N from your Theory and Improvisation class.” The voice belonged to Hwang Hyunjin and she felt a funny feeling in her stomach at the realisation that he knows her. Everyone around the table was throwing him weird looks.

      “You are right but how do you know that? I’m pretty sure you don’t take that class.” There was a trace of embarrassment in her voice.

      “I don’t but sometimes when I wait for those guys outside of the classroom I see you walking out.” He said that with nonchalance taking a bite from his food.

      “And how do you know her? She’s not a Music Production major otherwise we would have known. And she’s not a Dance major either otherwise Minho and Felix would have known about her as well.”Changbin’s tone was almost provoking as if Hyunjin had done something bad and he was about to reveal it.

      “She’s a Theatre and Film major. Last year when we went to all those theatre spectacles to support Jeongin I was actually paying attention to the plays. She had either the main role or the lead. I remember her being really good.” She felt her cheeks heat at his comment.

      “Thank you!” She threw him a smile. However, she got ignored as Lee Felix started talking.

      “Do you know her Jeongin?” She somehow felt offended by his question. Maybe that wasn’t his intention but he should have used a different tone.

      “Of course I do. We share almost all of our classes and last year we worked on multiple plays together.” Annoyance was present in his voice caused by his friends' ignorance.

      She knew Jeongin from the first day. He was the first to speak to her although they didn’t exactly become friends. They kept on working on plays together throughout the entirety of the first year of college but they kept everything mostly professional since they both had their own group of friends and she kind of disliked most of his friends.

      “Then how come you never talk about her?” Now, wasn’t Changbin an annoying one? She rolled her eyes discreetly at his question.

      “Because we are not the best of friends. Why don’t you talk about Kim Gina from your degree?” The youngest question was a good one. They were acquaintances and barely knew something about each other. What was he supposed to talk about?

      “Gina is not hot. What am I supposed to talk about?” The older male said calmly with a shrug of his shoulders.

      The water she was just drinking got stuck in her throat and she started coughing violently. Jisung started hitting her back repeatedly trying to help her swallow. When she finally calmed down she looked at him annoyed.

      “Who she is, is not important. What’s important is that she is my girlfriend” he gave Changbin a side look ”and you have to accept that. Stop talking about her like she is not sitting right in front of you.” A few of them raised their hands in defeat while some of them averted their eyes. Minho and Changbin rolled their eyes.

      She felt her blood pressure spike up at their action. She remembered why she never wanted to talk to any of them. Arrogant pricks.

      “Ok, Mister protective boyfriend. Just tell us when you break up.” Minho took a bite of his food done with the younger man’s antics. Everyone knew that he was in love with Mina. The moment she shows some interest in him he would probably leave this one in a heartbeat.

      Y/N sucked in a breath discreetly. He really got her worked up and she hated it. She put an arm around Jisungs shoulders and yanked him towards her, his face close to her chest. With her other hand, she grabbed the sides of his face making him look up at her and forcefully pursing his lips. 

      “Break up? Do you wanna break up with me, babe?” Y/N’s voice was mocking as if she was talking with a child. Jisung swallowed hard before shaking his head. She smiled at his response and used the hand from around his shoulders to ruffle his hair. “That’s what I thought.” She placed a short kiss on his lips before releasing him and turning back to her food.

      Everyone at the table was looking at both of them shocked, especially Minho and Changbin. She wanted to let a proud smile escape her but she controlled herself.

      For the rest of the lunch, she decided not to engage in any more discussions with Jisung’s friends. She continued eating her food and listened to them talking about things that didn’t involve her, occasionally responding to Hayoon’s texts.

      She was the first one to get up, impatient to go to her next class and not have to see them. “Bye guys. It was lovely meeting you!” She smiled at them, a smile half true because she did like some of them. “Bye babe. See you later!” She grabbed the sides of his face again placing another kiss on his lips before taking her empty tray and leaving them alone.

      The men all watched her as she made her way out of the cafeteria. When she closed the door behind her they all burst into laughter. Jisung was biting the inside of his cheek irked by their action. When the laughter stopped, Seungmin that was sitting next to him put his hand on his shoulder.

      “I absolutely adore your girlfriend. She knows how to keep her ‘babe’ in check I see.” Seungmin tried cupping his face as Y/N did but Jisung slapped his hand away.

      “Are you her good boy, Jisungie? Does she give you rewards if you listen to her?” Minho cooed at him and Jisung held back an insult.

      “Shut the fuck up. It’s not like that. She surprised me as well. Who the fuck knew she was going to do that?” When he proposed the whole fake dating thing to her he thought it would be easier. Looking at it now he can’t understand why he thought that. He saw the way her fights with Mina unfold and he knew she was an actress which meant that she was probably either crazy confident or really good at faking it. For some reason, he thought she would be easier to tease and control but it would be a lie if he said it didn’t intrigue him. He liked a challenge and if the prize was Mina he would try his best.

      “And you man” Chan spoke for the first time “what the fuck was that? Do you know her entire biography?” He was looking at Hyunjin who rolled his eyes.

      “I told you I paid attention to last year’s plays. On top of that, she’s hot. I remember that after one spectacle I and the guys from my dance group at the time talked about her for like a month. She was so..” The man let out a groan and threw his head back trying to explain what he meant.

      “Sure, tell me more. Did you masturbate to the thought of my girlfriend? Perhaps got any wet dreams about her?” Jisung commented, raising an eyebrow.

      Hyunjin winked at him as a smirk made its way on his face. Some of the guys simultaneously let out disgusted sounds at his gesture.

      “But how did this whole thing happen? I can’t remember a moment when you talked about her or when you were together.” Felix’s deep voice rang making everyone pay attention to him.

      Changbin suddenly let a gasp out and dramatically covered his mouth. “Yesterday our little Jisungie sat next to her in Theory and Improvisation and when the class ended he ran after her. I think he might have had a secret crush!” The older man teased.

      “Yeah, but she looked really annoyed with him. Hence why she sprinted out of the class. Why would she accept to date him if she looked like she’d rather listen to Mr Jung talk about the first piano ever invented.” Chan intervened making Jisung shrug his shoulders.

      “She was annoyed with me but what can I say? I’m so charming she couldn’t refuse me.” He leaned back in his chair putting his arms over the back of the chair. 

      “I think she did it out of pity. When she realized you’ve been trying to get Mina for a year and a half now she probably felt so bad for you she decided to sacrifice herself so you look less like a loser.” Hyunjin said his tone way to serious to be a joke.

      Jisung threw the man a deadly stare. “At least I didn’t masturbate to the thought of her like a fucking virgin.” He spat in the other man’s face.

      “Touche.”

[binniesthighs]

hello stranger | reader x changbin |

a/n: hehe hello cuties, before i get to the chapter, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the support and lovely messages you that you sent to me for the last chapter. as I said, it was one that was super personal to me and for it to be so relatable and emotional for you all makes my heart feel so, so full. these themes are going to continue, so please read the warnings cuties. as always, thank you so very much for reading my stories <3 

Part 6 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x seo changbin, female reader x han jisung 

Genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst 

Tags: (of this part) college au, rapper!changbin, rapper!jisung, establishedfwb!jisung, artist!reader, skz side characters, bestfriend!chan, bestfriend!felix, roommate!minho, explicit language, HARD fluff to HARD angst, some sensual-azz fuckin’ (muhaha), unprotected sex (stay safe cuties!), lil bit of breath play, nipple play (f), cumshot, mentions of food, changbin has a cute butt (that’s the tweet) 

CWs: aftereffects of traumatic experiences, mentions of past toxic relationship, self sabotaging tendencies 

Word count: 6.6k (remember when i said i wasn’t gonna write long chapters? wellllll...ooP)  

Chapters 

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

When you were back in high school, before you knew a thing about what love was, your Art teacher had given you an assignment: what do you think that love looks like? At first, all you had really known love to be was the kind that you shared with your friends and your parents, and maybe with your family dog. You had read about love in your favorite books and seen it in your favorite movies, but you had never really considered what it looked like. Obviously, the assignment was all up for you to decide, but there being a million and one things that you considered love to be, to put it to paper with your own hand was something different entirely. 

At first, when you thought of love, you thought of the typical: hearts, hugs, the colors red and pink. But, this was too simple. 

“What are you drawing?” You had sneakily whispered to your classmate. 

She shrugged, and continued scratching away at her sketchbook. You had peeked to see what she was putting together, and for her, she had started to draw what looked like a house on the edge of a lake. The house was in the middle of nowhere and it was surrounded by trees of all different kinds and there was a single bench that sat at the edge of the water. 

You figured, love can be a place, so you started drawing that. 

Your pencil swiped over the paper in strokes big and small, and the lead rubbed off on the side of your pinky as you outlined the corners of your apartment building. 

You thought, I love the people who live here, therefore, this must be love. 

It made sense. People and places could make up love. 

When you turned in your drawing of your apartment building you were surprised to see the variety of other paintings and drawings that the other students had turned in. One student had turned in a whole piece that had been drawn with oil pastel. It was a jumbling of colors: mostly red, as you had expected, but it also held streaks of gold, black and teal. You remember your teacher really liking that one. 

Today, if you would’ve gotten that assignment, it would’ve been completely different. 

It was a sunny afternoon when you sat at your easel with your pencil in hand. Drawing out the mere outline and rough draft, tears welled in your eyes. A long time ago you had promised yourself that if your art didn’t mean anything, what even was it?

The sun filled your room in the golden hour of the day best it could from your frosted glass window. The warmth that the rays held made your whole body swell with a warmth, and it gave your shaking arms the power to keep going. 

You brushed lightly over the rough canvas with your pencil, tracing out the lines as if they were the very memories that you had kept painted in your mind. 

You drew a snowy night, not much unlike the ones that you had been seeing recently. You drew an empty alley, not lit by much light. You drew the way that the oil slicked in potholes mixed with the snow. You planned out the way that the industry of the city lit his back as he stared out into that dark expanse where you knew that darker figures were hiding. You drew him. You drew him on that exact same night that you had fist seen him: a dark outline, who would become full of color. 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

“What’s that?” 

Changbin pointed to your easel with a sheet draped over it. 

“A surprise.” You answered. “I know that I’m not good with surprises, but, are you?” 

“I don’t mind them.” He chuckled. “For me?” 

“Mmhm. Its not ready yet so you’ll have to wait.” 

“I’m fine with waiting.” He sighed out. 

You nuzzled closer into his bare chest, right up to his heartbeat. Both of you were admittedly a bit dewy in your sweaty afterglow, but this was of no concern to you. These past few days, this had been your preferred way to drift off to sleep. Even on the occasional times when the both of you would be too busy to make the time, when you finally could see him, it was everything to you. In his large and muscled arms, there was no place else where you had felt safer. You too wrapped your whole being around him with a feeling so close it must’ve been unreal. If you could hear the muffled little rhythm of his heartbeat, you were sure that he could hear yours. 

“Soon, all this snow is gonna melt, and then I can take you to loads of other places. I’m just getting started.” Changbin’s airy breath tickled your scalp. 

“Really? Taking me to all the usual places?” You mocked. 

“No.” He said seriously. “I want to take you to places I haven’t taken anyone before. My secret places. I...you know...wouldn’t mind if you could draw them for me either.” 

You giggled, “Ever heard of taking a picture?” 

“Hey! It’s not the same.” 

“Fineee. Okay, okay. I’ll draw them for you.” Your fingertips traced down the muscles of his back. “Maybe I should start charging if you’re gonna keep being like this.” 

“You don’t do pro-bono?” He ran along with your joke. 

“If you ask nicely, maybe I’ll consider it.” 

He tsked, “Could you please draw for me?” 

You masked another adoring chuckle. “I do like it when you say please.” 

Everything about the one moment felt so sickly sweet, it was like you must’ve dreamt it up. In between the swaddling of sheets, you tried your best to enjoy the one moment: it was just enough to keep the doubtful whispers away. After all that he had done, said, all the pain that he had kissed away, or compliments he had hushed into your ear, the creeping feeling that you hardly deserved it all would rear it’s head time and again, even when you didn’t expect it to.

The two of you were quiet for a moment as you fell into the serenity of just existing together. After a while, you would narrow your focus best on the way that his breaths would rise and fall and the way this his body heat would melt into yours under the mess of sheets that neither of you bothered to fix. He would use his thumb to rub reassuring little strokes into the back of your neck where he had you. 

Your hand would fall down his arm, all the way down this wrist where his scar lived. Ever since you had noticed it, you couldn’t stop looking at it. Every time that you did, you were given a tangible reminder of everything that he had been, and was, to you. You rose the uneven skin to your lips to gift a little kiss to it. 

Changbin tried his best to hide his giddy smirk at the action. 

“Do you have to leave tonight?” You settled his arm around you once more. 

“No. Not tonight. But, for the next few days I don’t think I’ll be able to. They put me on the matinee shifts at the theater. I fucking hate those. No one comes in at all so it’s like I’m just sitting there.” 

“Wanna sneak me in some time this week? I should have a break.” 

“I would but...I’d prefer to keep that job. As much as I hate it.” 

“We could do something this Thursday? You aren’t busy on Thursdays as much right?” 

“Ahhhh I think so.” Changbin rolled the two of you over, allowing himself to lean over top of you. With a sly smirk he lowered his voice to say, “You know, my ribs really aren’t hurting as much any more.” 

“Oooh? Good to know.” You ruffled his curly strands. 

“I’m trying to say that I can go for another round if you would like to?” He bowed his head to kiss lightly into your neck and the fading love bites that he had put there himself. 

Your eyes wandered to your clock telling you that it was nearly 2 in the morning. If you had better judgement, you would’ve said no. But, these days, judgement wasn’t something that you took too seriously. 

He kissed down deeper, and pulled at your skin just in the way that he knew you liked it. Changbin knew the ins and outs of you perfectly, as well as exactly what to do send you quivering under him. All he had to do was press his body into yours so you could feel his weight, and it made you fold just for him. He followed his kisses up your jaw where he then lead them into your bottom lip and over every angle that your mouth would crave him. He often didn’t mean to do it intentionally, but between your parted mouths, his tongue would sneakily find yours, and he would slowly slide it against yours. 

“Do you want to?” He muttered between kisses. 

Under the covers, his hand cascaded down your side in a way that tickled slightly, but also made you shiver. 

He broke from his kiss to hold your eyes seriously. “We don’t have to.” 

“No, I want to.” You reached up to hold his sleepy and puffy face in your hands. 

Changbin said nothing more, but instead returned to weaving kisses back down your neck. Under your waist, you felt him angle up your hips higher and the heat of his tip teased at your entrance still slick with your arousal from before, and now renewed. He bowed his head down to your chest to pump himself with a few muffled grunts. After, he rose his head to hold your eyes with his own. The muscles on his arms flared where he held himself up, and those adorable little stretch marks in the corners of his arms moved with them. 

“God, you’re so beautiful.” 

You melted under his compliment. No matter who many times he had said it, you still weren’t use to it. 

“So are youuuu.” You said with a dreamy tone. One other thing that you had figured out about him was that returning such comments to him made him a flustered mess. It was utterly adorable for someone as stoic as him at times. 

“Psh.” He scoffed, then lowered his voice once again. “Beautiful how I fill you up sweetheart?” Changbin angled your waist up higher, then spread your thighs, finally pushing them into your body to tighten you. He aligned himself over you, then pushed himself in agonizingly slow. “Beautiful how I can fuck you so deep? How I can m-make you...” 

He had given up on talking, but rather thrust himself further into you with his shaking breaths and little “mmm’s” getting caught on his tongue. 

“B-Bin...fuck, f-feels s-so good--”

He pushed your legs up closer to your body, allowing himself greater access to graze your g-spot. Your busy fingers found their way around his back to claw all the way down. He still relished in taking his time with you, and would never rush fucking you--it was as if he had all the time in the world to unravel you. You returned around him, tightening has he fucked in and out with his own pace. After a while of doing the same, his hand crept around your neck to give you a couple choking squeezes that made you whimper out like a kitten. He would never keep it going for long however, but rather indulged himself in the way that your gasps would remind him of how good it all felt. After, Changbin dipped his thumb into your mouth to run the pad over your tongue. 

The tip of his teeth caught the skin of his lip which he bit into hard. 

“You feel so good baby. F-feels so good on my cock. It’s all for you angel.” 

An unrestrained groan escaped from your mouth as he continued and your orgasm pooled steadily. In and attempt to steady yourself you clawed back into your pillow supporting your head. 

He swiftly changed your position, taking both of his hands to turn you on your stomach. Without a pause he lead his swelling head back into your pussy where he kept on going at his favored slow pace. Your face smushed into the pillow with hips raised in the air. The fluffy fabric muffled your helpless moans. 

“Louder for me princess.” He growled. 

With one hand he arched over to tweak at your nipples with force: twisting and pulling, then he wet his hand with his own saliva to let your skin feel the cold and wet sensation. His other hand he used to reach around and rub circles into your clit. He was gentle at first, but worked your bud harder and faster. Your knees and legs shook the faster he rubbed, and you spilled your loudest and most unapologetic moans into the room that had risen in temperature. 

“Fuck...” He swore. Changbin allowed himself to quicken his pace inside of you. The action alone sent you spinning wildly into your orgasm: a tear of white hot heat that shook your whole body and turned your swollen bud into a sensitive mess under his fingers which did stop, even when when he knew that you had just cum all over them. The harder he pressed, the more wonderfully painful it felt, and you let your tears fall hot from your eyes to the sheet. You attempted to call out his name, but no words that left your mouth made sense. 

He turned your body once more, using brutish hands on your hips as he pulled you overtop of the sheets to fuck you into the bed once more with your sweating back stuck to the comforter. Your body shook with your orgasm still, and you needily brought his lips down to yours to kiss him with your thank you’s as he milked himself out in your tightening walls. 

Changbin was animalistic in the way that he finally let his hips snap over you, at last reaching his orgasm mere seconds after he had pulled out and jerked himself over you. Ribbons of his white cum came spilling out over your gasping chest and stomach and dripped lazily from his pink and flaring tip. He took in shallow inhales as he did, and kept rubbing until the very end and he had nothing more to give. Even as his hand dropped, you took his dick in your own hand to just twist lightly and ride out the last of his orgasm. He softened in your hand with eyes closed in his focus and came down. 

The combination of your lust held in the air for a few silent moments, then he collapsed back down next to you into a blushing and exhausted mess. His pink chest shook, and his soft heather eyes found you. 

“We should...probably take a shower right?” 

“Probably.” You grinned. 

Changbin leaned over to plant even more sugary sweet kisses on top of your lips. He always was one to admire his work, so he chuckled lightly seeing the way that he had properly covered you in his cum. 

“I can help you clean that off.” 

The bed shook and he rose to get you something to clean up. You wished that you could’ve moved to see him saunter around your room without a single piece of clothing on. It was no secret that he had one hell of a cute butt. 

Changbin helped you out of the bed, finding that your legs had started to shake and betray you a bit more harshly than you had intended. He ran the water for you both, inviting you in to take the task of cleaning you to himself. He took the suds in his own hands to brush them all over your body and took careful and gentle attention to the more sensitive parts of your body. He giggled a little at the way that even under the warm water, your nipples would still harden when he ghosted his fingers over them with soap. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” You scolded him. 

He took care of the little bruises on your neck and collarbones, giving them kisses under the clear stream of water as if he was healing them. After he was done, you did the same and cleaned out his hair with your shampoo. He always let out happy little groans when you would massage his scalp. He still had a couple scrapes on his face from a few weeks ago, so you kissed all of them too. 

Changbin’s favorite part was how he could mess up your hair with the towel afterword and make you look as ridiculous as possible. Of course, you would do the same. You would brush your teeth together, and dress somewhat all of the way back again. A while ago he decided keeping clothes at your place was a good idea, but you ended up wearing them more than he did. You blamed it on dirty laundry, but you really did just like the way that they would smell all tangled up in your blankets on your nights alone. 

With bare legs, you would tangle yourselves all up in eachother once more, and not even bother to look at what time it was then. 

As it had become his habit, before the two of you drifted to sleep, Changbin would kiss into your forehead “l love you. You know?” 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Chocolatey goodness wafted up Felix’s nose, and he let out a happy little squeal. 

“~Thank youuu~” He beamed to the waitress. 

He took a careful sip not to burn his tongue, then turned his head to watch the way that the snow had started to flurry outside of the diner window. Minho flipped the pages of his book and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“Whatcha reading?” Felix said with a little tap of his feet under the table. 

Rather than answering, Minho sighed out and closed his book. “Nothing now. If you’re gonna ask questions, then I’ll get distracted, so, nothing now.” 

“Oh. Sorry.” Felix frowned. 

Minho rolled his eyes, suddenly becoming exasperated over his new friend’s dramatic reaction. 

“It was something that I’m assigned to read for one of my classes. It’s about economics or something like that. I’m kind of just skimming; reading because I have to....” He took a sip of his coffee. “Y/n should be reading the same book considering that we are in the same class...but I haven’t even seen you with it yet.” 

You prodded at your plate of half eaten waffles. “About that...” 

“If you think that I’m gonna give you the SparkNotes you are sorely mistaken.” 

You writhed in your seat a bit like an upset toddler. “Come onnnnn, Minho, you know that I don’t have time for that, working at the library and such...”  

“--More like stealing my roommate from me. I hardly see him at our apartment anymore.” Minho made his remark with a type of snark, but knowing him, he was still just as sarcastic. 

“Yeah,” Felix piped up. “The three of us haven’t hung out in a while either!” 

“...Sorry, I’ve just been getting...caught up in things.” 

Minho cleared his throat. “I’m not saying that its a bad thing. It’s just something that I’ve noticed.” 

Felix nodded, “Me too! I’m really happy for you!! So is Chan, don’t get me wrong. We haven’t seen you so happy and like, not serious in such a long time. Really, I’m so so glad that you have someone like him for a boyfriend.” 

Your fork scratched your plate. “--Boyfriend?” 

“Yeah!” Felix beamed. “Isn’t that what he is?” 

Minho too held an expectant gaze. 

“I-I don’t think...we hadn’t really talked about what it is that we’re doing...or are.” 

“So you’re saying that he’s not your boyfriend?” Minho cocked his head in his confusion. “Well, you ask him and he’ll think that it’s a different story.” 

“H-he talks about me?” You sat up straighter. 

“Well, he hasn’t explicitly said anything, but the way that he never shuts the fuck up...” Minho suddenly became much more interested in his coffee. 

“What? You don’t want him to be your boyfriend?” Felix looked just as confused. 

In your hands, you crinkled up the napkin that you had resting on your lap. You hadn’t in fact, ever thought of such. Merely, you had thought that you loved him, and that you enjoyed being around him and that he had made you happy. Was it odd that the thought had never crossed your mind? 

“And he hasn’t said anything about it either?” Felix leaned in. To his side, Minho nudged his arm in the most non-obvious way possible. 

“...No?” 

Your heartbeat quickened in pace. 

“Af...after everything that happened back then? Didn’t you say that he like, confessed or something and you did the same? You’ve only been hanging out with eachother for weeks?” Felix pushed his cocoa away from himself to lay his hands flat on the table. 

“I...don’t think that we should press the issue.” Minho patted down the boy sitting next to him. 

It was the feeling that you had been avoiding for weeks: that kind of uncertainty and fear that you had pushed down so far after the night that it all came together, but you didn’t expect it to manifest like this. In your chest a knot tied itself together tightly and in a way that you couldn’t explain. 

“I...just like what's happening right now between us, I didn’t think that he would want--” 

Felix nudged Minho by the hip, motioning for him to let him out of his side of the booth. Minho rolled his eyes, but did so muttering, “I said we shouldn’t press the issue but here you go...” 

Felix slid over to your side of the booth, nearly shoving you up close to the wall with how near he scooched to you. Carefully, he removed the napkin that you had scrunched up into your palm. 

“Relax okay? You’re doing it again. Just calm down.” While his tone was sweet, you couldn’t help but find some condescending edge--real or not. 

“Doing what? I don’t think that I’m doing anything wrong??” 

Felix let you squeeze his hand tight, as patient as ever. 

“Do you not want him to be your boyfriend?” He repeated. “But he treats you so nicely? There’s nothing to worry about.” 

At first you were angry at yourself, angry at yourself for feeling the hot tears well up in your eyes in public, 

I’m so fucking pathetic. 

Secondly, you were furious at yourself for feeling anything less than the happiness that had made up your whole world for the past few weeks. You had worked so hard just to make something that made sense, and he made sense. Why did it have to be much more complicated than that? 

“Y/n?” Felix bowed his head down with his softening gaze. 

“F-Felix, I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“I’m just trying to understand so I can help you out with this. Clearly there’s something that’s upsetting you about, I don’t know, putting a label on it? If that’s the right word--” 

Minho sucked at his teeth, “He’s too nice to say that you’re self sabotaging again. Listen, you don’t have to have the answers right now, we’re just saying you’re getting in your own way at having something that could be really great.” 

Felix shot daggers in Minho’s direction. 

“I wasn’t gonna say this, but Bin’s been going through shit right now with his family that I’m sure he isn’t telling you about. Someone tipped them off about what he’s been doing and they’re furious. He’s been telling them that no one knows that he’s tied to them when he raps but they aren’t listening. Literally when he goes to see you it’s like, what’s helping him forget all that shit. He cares about you a fuck ton, and I’ve heard about it all. He wants you to be his girlfriend. Believe me. Don’t know why he hasn’t brought it up yet, but...” 

Felix took in a shaky breath, then turned his attention back to you. “Besides all that, I think that you should at least talk to him about this all. I had no idea that you felt this way. I’m sorry for making assumptions. At least, if you and him talk about it, you can figure something out right?” 

You took at the papery and crinkled napkin and dabbed it harshly on your eyes to dry your tears before they had a chance to run further down your face. 

“Why the fuck doesn’t he tell me anything?” Your voice wavered. 

Minho folded his hands on the table. “Knowing him, he probably thinks that it would be burdening to you. Selfless dick. He thinks that putting that shit on you somehow makes him seem like a handful or some shit.” 

“B-but I don’t feel that way?” 

“Then tell him!!” Felix’s volume rose. “When you talk to him, tell him that.” 

“What the fuck is this, a drama?” Minho laughed a little. “These communication skills are god-awful.” 

“Oh fuck off Minho,” Felix rubbed your back to soothe you. “This is real life, and we’re here to help out Y/n.” 

“That’s fuck off Minho-hyung to you.” The older boy stuck out his tongue. 

You wiped your nose against your hand, then Minho threw another napkin from the holder in your direction. 

“I promise that things will get better when you talk to him.” Felix nodded. “Talking always helps.” 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

Thursday afternoon came, and the forecast had called for snow, but none had come. Rather, the atmosphere had turned to be dreary and grey the whole day long, and the temperature dropped so low that some local schools had to cancel classes for the day. Your university had decided to do the same. While you had been thankful and decided to spend the day working on your various projects, you couldn’t bring your hand to the canvas. 

All day long you had spent figuring out what it really was that you wanted to say to Changbin, and you still hadn’t figured it out yet. Even you didn’t know what it was entirely that scared you deeply. But, you knew that somewhere you did. 

Why her? 

You could do better. 

Isn’t she...boring? 

You hugged your legs to yourself as you waited on your couch. The memories seeped into your brain like some kind of poison diffusing its way. 

No, no. You’re wrong. You tried your best to banish them. 

You’re all mine. No one else’s. Don’t you ever forget that. Tell me. Who’s baby are you? 

You squeezed your eyes shut, and dug your nails into the fleshy part of your knees where you held them. 

You don’t own me. You don’t have the fucking power. 

Three knocks clicked at your door, and you knew that it was Changbin. Your chest shook with a type of anxiety that felt like prickling thorns. You rose to open the door. 

“Fuck. It’s so freezing out there.” Was the first thing that he said. “I wouldn’t mind not having to go back out there if you are?” He slung his coat over one of chairs to your two person dining table. As soon as he was undressed, you were overcome with the desire to be as close as possible as you could get to him. It had been your safe place. 

Changbin let out a little surprised noise when you launched your body at him, but he just as quickly held you back firmly. 

“Is everything okay?” 

For a moment you let his rosemary and cedarwood cast aside all the ideas and words that ate away at you. 

“Can we talk?” You mumbled. 

“Yeah, of course. Can we sit down? Get a blanket maybe?” You nodded and let him do the work of going back to your room to get back your knit blanket that he knew you liked best. He threw it over his shoulders them beckoned you to join him in his arms. You snuggled right up into his chest where he had tucked himself into the corner of the couch. “Want to talk about it now?” 

With glistening eyes you tried your best to look up at him. His cheeks were still bitten pink from the cold. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about your parents? Or about what’s going on right now?” 

Changbin sighed and bit at his lower lip in his discontent. “Minho said something didn’t he?” 

“You can tell me, you know?” 

Changbin shook his head. “It’s not your problem to worry about, so I don’t want you do.” 

“But you’re my problem to worry about. Don’t you get that?” 

He sighed once more, then rested his head atop of yours. Where he held you around your arms, he rubbed gently.  

“And if...being with me helps you...I’ll come around anytime alright? You don’t just have to come here.” 

He laughed a little. “My place isn’t as private as yours is.” 

You toyed with the fraying fabric of the blanket. “You know that I can be quiet if I need to be. Or if you just want me to sleep over, I can do that too.” 

“I don’t want you going out of your way--” 

“--I don’t mind.” You nuzzled a little deeper. “So, your parents are giving you a hard time?” 

He tsked. “Yeah. It’s just...stupid is all. They care so much about what I do and don’t do when I left so it wouldn’t bother them. They’re trying hand out some kind of threats to me like they have the right to do so....they don’t.” 

“What are you going to do?” 

Changbin helped you up a bit higher up his body so your head could rest on his shoulder. “Nothing. Keep doing what I’ve always been. No one knows except the people I have closest to me. They’re worrying over nothing.” 

You formed a “oh” with your lips. 

“But, it’s nothing to worry about. I promise.” 

Already, you had forgotten what you really had decided to talk to him about. It had slipped from your mind just as quickly as you had let it arise. The two of you grew quiet, and you let yourself become overcome with the feeling and warmth that his body and the blanket gave to you. You wondered if he would’ve gotten mad if you had fallen asleep just then. It didn’t seem like the worst idea.

“As long as we’re talking about things, do you mind if I ask you something?” Changbin asked after planting a small kiss on your forehead. 

“What’s that?” You said with a sleepy and cracking voice. 

“You...don’t have to have the answer right now, but I just thought it would be worth it to ask, since we’ve been doing you know, this, for a few weeks now. You already know how I feel about you, I think that I’ve made it pretty damn clear, but, I was thinking that we could make things exclusive between us? Like, it just becomes me and you?” 

Drip by drip, the drowsiness that had swept over your eyes dissipated. 

“Would you be up for that? I just, it seems a bit odd to me that we haven’t talked about it yet considering...well, I think that it would be easier if we knew what we were so then we could, I don’t know, plan or something like that? It’s kind of a commitment, I know, but I want you to know that I’m willing--” 

“Bin...” You pulled yourself up from his chest. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that? Did-did I say something wrong?” 

Who’s baby are you? 

“You want me to...be yours?” 

“Well, not exactly, you know what I’ve said before, but, I would like you to be my girlfriend--” 

A sob clogged your throat. Now that he had finally said it, the realizations came flooding over you like the deathly winter chill. 

“Angel, are you scared again? I told you that you don’t have to with me, I swear that I don’t ever want to hurt you or anything like what happ--” 

“--Like happened what? Back when I was so fucking stupid to get myself locked up in something that I thought would be good for me? Why is it that you want me to be your girlfriend, huh? I-is it because I-I fall over for you? I can’t run away from you? Am-am I just a good fuck for you? What is it?” 

“What the fuck? Where is this coming from? Y/n, you know that I love you, I fucking love you like crazy and I don’t think any of those things!! I’m not trying to restrain you our use you or anything like that, I don’t know why the hell you would think that!” 

“B-because you might not now, but what about later down the line...when I get boring or you figure out that I’m not as exciting like I used to be or--” 

“--What?! No! That’s not gonna happen!” Changbin reached out to pull you back into his arms, but you shook him off. 

Salty tears filled the corners of your mouth. “The last time that I-I did something like this, I--” 

“--Well this isn’t last time, this is this time, okay? It’s different! I swear to God that I’m not that fucking asshole. I get that you’re scared, okay, that’s totally understandable, but I’m asking you to trust me alright? Can you trust me?” 

Part of you wanted to trust him. In fact, a much larger part of yourself wanted to trust him so bad, it hurt. But, a smaller part of you, a much smaller part of you still screamed into the abyss that he was the last person in the world that you could trust; and that voice, was much louder. 

“I want you to be my girlfriend, and I want to give you everything that I have. All my fucking time, my attention, hell, just minutes ago you said that I was your problem, can’t you be mine? Is that not allowed? I’m just...I DON’T get you!!!” Changbin growled out the tail end of his sentence and only after he had said it he realized it was much louder than he intended. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...please. I’m not mad at you.” 

Your body had weakened, so when he had reached out for you, you let yourself fall into his arms. 

“Angel, can’t you see that what I’m trying to do is the complete opposite of what you think I am? Yeah I mean, it would be nice to call you my girlfriend, but not because I’m trying to control you or anything, but because...fuck, you make me happier, made me feel like I’m less lonely in this fucking crazy-ass world. I want to be that for you and you only.” 

Poisonous thoughts. Why were they even more alluring than the antidote that you had right in front of your face? 

Your limp body mustered up the strength of push yourself off his chest. Looking into his eyes you felt numb. With all the care that he held for you, you felt as if you didn’t deserve one single ounce of it. 

Why her?  

You figured that in some parallel earth, you would’ve been able to have said yes. In that parallel earth, nothing bad would’ve ever happened, and you wouldn’t have been crouched in that alley with snow melting into your dress. You would’ve lived a normal life without pain and doubt. Maybe you would’ve met him there too, and you would’ve been able to say yes. 

“You...don’t have to have the answer right now, but can you please consider it...for me? I meant everything that I said, but I...I also can’t wait forever.” You heard his voice grow thick. “I know that if...you can’t do it, or iff you don’t know, then I can’t just make it happen. There’s not a lot else that I can do. But at least I want to try.” 

You could do better. 

“I-I think that I need to be alone...right now--tonight.” Two more hot tears fell down your cheeks with a sting like a papercut. 

“Right now?” 

“Yeah, just--there’s things that I need to think about, I don’t..I don’t know. I’m sorry.” 

“No. I understand.” Changbin sniffled. 

Slowly, your two bodies seperated, and the heat from his body faded. You thought to yourself, it wasn’t yours to keep in the first place. 

You lead him quietly to the door where you watched him lace up his shoes and throw on his coat. His eyes had become puffy, as much as you figured you had looked as well. His grey eyes looked tired, just like the dreary day that you had spent all day hiding from. Still, he smiled. 

“Y/n. I know that you think that you’re hard to love. But you’re not. If you take away anything from this, I hope you know that your past doesn’t define you, and that you can have happiness after it all. I want to be that for you. If you’ll let me. Only if you’ll let me.” 

Your clogged nose made a horrible stuffed sound and you nodded. You had listened to his words, but had you heard? 

He sighed with finality, then bent down to kiss at the salty taste on your lips. 

“Call me, okay?” 

You closed the door after him, then collapsed down the door. Your pent up sobs flew out of your chest with loud and ugly sounding sobs. Each one hurt more than the last to get out. You crumbled against the wood door, and didn’t even mind the cool draft from under the crack. Your world became a blur in front of your watery eyes and your hands shook as they took your phone from your pocket. 

Words of self loathing filled your ears as you searched up the name, but it was the only one that you could think of in your blind emptiness. 

If only things could go back to the way that they were. 

╚ ——————————————— ╝

The walk to his apartment was cold, freezing even. You had worn the shoes that you had been scolded for, and the coat that provided you with barely any warmth. You knew the way to his apartment well--it was almost muscle memory by now. Streetlights passed you overhead, and finally the snow that was promised started to drift from the heavens and before you. 

Your hands cracked with the cold when you pushed the button to his intercom, and he buzzed you in without saying a word. You showed yourself up the staircase with empty sounding footsteps echoing against the walls. Your eyes had welled with tears once you reached his floor, but you blinked them away harshly. It was a futile attempt considering that he would see how red your eyes had become. 

His door was cracked with old paint, and the number had been scratched off with age. You knocked one time, no more than that. Somewhere a tiny voice had hoped that he wouldn’t hear the knock at all, and figure that you hadn’t even come up, and that you could quietly slip back away. 

But he didn’t. He must’ve been waiting. 

He too looked to be a mess: his cheeks and eyes had puffed up and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. He wore minimal clothing that hung loosely on his frame. 

“--Jisung--” 

Before you could say any more, he had leapt into you, and wrapped his arms around you so tightly that he could’ve rid you of all your breath. 

“Baby, thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much. I’m sorry how I acted at the concert. I just missed you so much....I missed you so much.” 

[mostlycompetentwriter]

TMT One-Shot

F/M Pairing: Y/N x 3racha (Stray Kids)

Word Count: 8K

Genre: High School AU

Warnings: Lots of smut and language; mentions of alcohol

Summary: Y/N is the shy, awkward girl who can’t talk to boys while doing her best to exist as a shadow throughout her high school life. Her two brothers, Minho and Felix, are the complete opposite. Minho is the cool, suave music addict who wants to be in his own band one day, while Felix is the stereotypical popular kid whose best friend, Han Jisung, tirelessly trails after his friend’s older sister. However, despite their differences, the three siblings share a very close relationship and Y/N considers them to be her only real friends. 

One day, Minho brings home two classmates from his community college and Y/N realizes, for the very first time, that the sweet taste of desire is highly addictive.

When my mother died, I was only 10-years-old. She slipped away like a ghost, quietly and without notice, and I was left feeling broken on the inside. If I was a therapist, unlike the contemptuous older woman who always spoke to me with a condescending tone, I’d likely attribute the traumatic event to the person I started to become. 

Instead of bouncing back from her death like my brothers Minho and Felix, I started to feel sad all the time. Accordingly, I lost many of the friends I met in Elementary school because I chose to sit quietly in my classes when I didn't feel like talking to anyone else. Likewise, I also declined their invitations to visit their houses or ride with their parents to the movie theaters. Actually, I exchanged those friendships for the solitude of my bedroom at home where I usually spent the evening staring vacantly at the ceiling while trying not to cry anymore.

Yeah, I guess it was kinda my fault.

Overtime, my status evolved from the kind, amiable Y/N who everyone at school admired, to the sullen and despondent weird girl who sometimes spoke to imaginary friends. I spent recesses inside with my teachers, helping them clean the whiteboard. During lunch, I sat alone with my school tray and thought about how my mother used to pack my lunches for me because I complained about the mystery meatloaf....Oh, right, thinking about my mother inevitably made me feel sad again and sometimes I cried at school in front of my classmates. 

Needless to say, my youth wasn’t exactly as voracious as my peers...or even my brothers for that matter. Actually, Minho and Felix were perfectly normal because they mourned our mother’s death for several months before inexplicably moving on as if it had never happened. Thereafter, Minho developed a passion for music and my father allowed him to take guitar and piano lessons after school. Felix started to play sports and he was quite good at baseball despite his smaller stature. Likewise, in between classes, I heard my classmates frequently gossiping about my brothers: mysterious and alluring Minho who all the older girls adored, and popular and beloved Felix who was the envy of our classmates. 

I didn’t mind being considered an outsider in comparison to my brothers because they still treated me like a friend. In fact, my brothers and I were extremely close, especially after our mother’s death. Despite my introverted tendencies, Minho and Felix often went out of their way to include me in their activities. For example, Minho liked to offer his demos as background music for the raunchier parties in our town and he always begged me to come along and hear his new songs. My older brother was so incredibly talented that I rarely refused his offers, finding myself sitting next to Felix in the backseat of Minho’s car while we drove across town to the wealthier districts. I would spend the rest of the night hanging around my brothers while listening to Minho sing about everything from his ex-girlfriends to the pot he liked to smoke with some of the younger guys.

In any case, I could always count on my brothers to liven my spirits, which might explain why I was so uncomfortable when Minho graduated and applied for University. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing because Minho was only driving thirty minutes everyday to attend his classes and he still lived at home. But it still felt like an unwanted change, and I wasn’t sure how to cope with my brother’s sudden desire to build a studio in the basement of our childhood home while he brought new classmates to fawn over his equipment.

Thankfully, I managed to avoid the unfamiliar faces, and I started spending more time with Felix. Unfortunately, spending time with Felix inevitably forced me to endure the endless pandering from some of his more unsavory acquaintances. For example, when I wanted to play video games one afternoon, I knocked twice on Felix’s door only to find myself in the company of someone who was decidedly the complete opposite of my brother. His name was Han Jisung, and he was Felix’s best friend. “Y/N,” he said quietly, sheepishly attempting to fix the mop on top of his head. “How are you?”

“Fine,” I said, glancing over Jisung’s shoulder. “Where’s Felix?”

“Bathroom,” Jisung said, pointing at the door. 

I groaned. “Are you busy?”

“We’re never too busy for you,” Jisung smirked, but he always flirted with me shamelessly as if he didn’t care that I was Felix’s older sister.

I ignored Jisung when I walked into Felix’s bedroom, finding a relatively clean spot on his bed to wait for his return. In the meantime, Jisung lingered by the doorway, watching me with those ridiculous dark eyes. “I heard Minho made another demo.”

“He’s always making demos,” I replied, wondering why Felix was determined to take his time for once.

“Yeah, but he’s really proud of this one.”

“Minho thinks he’s a genius,” I said. “If you were to ask him, then every song he made would be a masterpiece.”

“Well, he’s the reason why I've started to pursue music.”

“You?” I scoffed, finding the idea of Jisung as a creator of anything other than enormous messes on the kitchen counter to be nothing short of hilarious. “Jisung, you can’t even finish your math homework.”

“That’s not true!” Jisung protested. “It’s just not that interesting, and I like music so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You’ll find something else to like in a few months,” I said, watching as he frowned with that ridiculous pout he always wore when he wasn’t getting his way.

“Yeah? Well, when my first mixtape comes out,” Jisung grumbled. 

“I’ll be the first one asking for an autograph,” I teased him, rolling my eyes when he sat next to me and held up his pinky finger.

“Promise?”

“Fine,” I sighed before trying to move further away from Jisung.

He didn’t allow the space for very long, sliding right up against me without any traces of his previous frustrations. “Y/N,” Jisung said, hand reaching out for my shoulder. “There’s a party this Friday.”

“I’m not in the mood for a party,” I said. “I have a lot of homework this weekend, and-”

“Actually, Minho invited us,” Felix interrupted, and I didn’t even realize that my brother had returned. I was also surprised to see Minho behind him, stretching his arms above his head like he had forgotten to sleep again last night.

“You’re going too?” I asked Minho.

“It’s Chan’s party,” Minho explained. “He’s playing some of my demo tracks.”

“Bang Chan,” I repeated, narrowing my eyes because I had heard my brother mention that name dozens of times. Actually, if I didn’t know any better, then I would think Minho had some kind of infatuation with his new college friend.

“I think Minho is in love,” Felix teased, dodging Minho’s playful swing before he joined Jisung and I on the edge of his bed.

“He’s just a friend from one of my lectures,” Minho said. 

“Minho also thinks he’s a genius,” Felix whispered to me, but it was loud enough for our brother to overhear. 

“You like him too,” Minho protested.

“Felix met him?”

“Last week,” Felix beamed. “Minho and I ran into him on the way to get coffee. Your lazy ass was still asleep at 12:00.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled. “I stayed up late to finish an essay.”

“College will kick your ass, Y/N,” Minho said. “If you can’t survive high school literature...”

“I get it,” I groaned. “I don’t want another lecture.”

“Good, but you’re still coming to the party because I want you to meet Chan and hear your brother’s masterpiece.”

“Please stop calling your mixtape a masterpiece.”

“I’ll consider it,” Minho smirked, “as long as I see you at Chan’s house this Friday.”

“This is considered blackmail, Minho,” I sighed. “But fine, I’ll need the time and address, please.”

I stood on the porch in the frigid cold wearing a party dress that might’ve been overkill, and I had a desire to return to my house because nobody was answering the door. Actually, when I really thought about it, this complex was too nice for a college student, unless Chan had discovered Blackbeard’s treasure or something. I snorted at my own joke, waiting impatiently for someone to let me inside because my brothers weren’t responding to my text messages. 

The music sounded faint from behind the door, which made me wonder if Minho had given me the wrong address. It wouldn’t be the first time that my brother gave me some kind of misinformation, but I thought he really wanted me to come tonight and hear his music. “Hello!” I yelled, banging my fist against the door. “Minho? I’m leaving in exactly ten seconds if nobody lets me inside!”

I started the countdown in my head, jumping up and down to warm my muscles, when a sudden expulsion of heat relieved the tension slowly numbing my fingers. “There you are,” Felix said with a drunken smile.

“Isn’t too early for you to be plastered?”

Felix giggled. “They’re playing Minho’s music next.”

“Well, let me inside you asshole,” I said, pushing my way into the house because my brother had clearly forgotten that it was basically snowing outside.

“What do you think?” Felix asked. “It’s pretty nice.”

“I can’t see anything,” I complained, narrowing my eyes since it was difficult to notice the details when the house was packed wall to wall with intoxicated college students. The lights were also dimmed, which meant that walking was an unnecessary chore as Felix took my hand and brought me into the kitchen where he promised Minho was waiting.

At least he wasn’t fully incapable. 

“Y/N,” Minho grinned, tossing an arm around my shoulder as he pulled me closer, allowing me to smell the nasty liquor on his breath.

“Drunk at your mixtape reveal party?”

Minho laughed. “I haven’t had much.”

“Felix has,” I said, grimacing when I spotted my younger brother bouncing from person to person with an unmaintainable energy.

“Let him have fun,” Minho said. “I’m keeping an eye on him.”

“Whatever, but he’s your responsibility in the morning when he’s suffering from a hangover.”

“I’ll handle it,” Minho reassured me. “Anyway, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Oh?”

“Chan! Get your ass over here!”

“What a good friend you are,” I remarked, and I was fully prepared to tease my brother further until I realized that Minho was waving down one of the most attractive men I had ever seen.

Chan was absolutely gorgeous, appearing nothing short of debauched under the low-hanging lights of the kitchen. Neatly styled blonde-hair parted down the middle, and bright blue eyes that held the stars inside an endless sea of black. “Are you guys having fun?” he asked with an accent that I couldn’t place.

“The place is fucking awesome, man,” Minho said, wrapping an arm around Chan’s shoulders as he nodded in my direction. “This is my sister,” Minho said with a proud smile. 

“Hello,” I said, cringing at my tone.

“Y/N,” Chan smiled, and I decided that nobody could ever say my name again with such a sexy tenor.

“You have a lovely home,” I said, swallowing hard when Chan leaned in closer. 

“Minho talks about you a lot,” Chan said with a smirk. “Do you want something to drink?”

I nodded without thinking, keeping my eyes trained on his beautiful visage as a beer slipped into my hand. “Pace yourself,” Minho warned me, but I ignored him as I swallowed down the bile-tasting liquid.

“I like her,” Chan nodded, looking at me seductively from over the top of his bottle.

“She’s a bit uptight,” Minho chuckled, and I glared at him because this was not the time to embarrass me. “Are my songs playing next?”

“I’ll make sure everything is ready,” Chan said, giving me one last lingering look.

“Let’s find a good place to hear everything,” Minho suggested, and I followed my brother with thoughts and fantasies consumed by Bang Chan.

Minho’s mixtape was really good, and I begrudgingly congratulated my brother and even allowed him to tell everyone that it was, in fact, a masterpiece. However, while my brother was distracted by a group of younger fan-girls, I slipped away to try and find somewhere peaceful to recover from my headache. It had developed sometime between the pounding bass line of “BEWARE” and the aggressive tone of “Boxer.” 

I paused next to the foyer where there were considerably less people. In fact, only one student lingered next to the open window, and I leaned against the wall as I closed my eyes against the distinct ringing in my ears. Next time, I would wear earplugs when Minho forced me to stand at the speakers.

“You’re not going to pass out, right?”

I blinked several times as the room swam into focus. “I’ll probably make it.”

“There’s a bathroom upstairs,” the rough voice continued, and I finally addressed the hooded figure standing at the window. I realized that he was smoking, holding the bud of the cigarette outside so that the ashes collected somewhere on the porch. “I’m Changbin,” he smirked. 

“Oh,” I cleared my throat. “Do you mind if I share the window?”

He shrugged, tossing his hood back so that I could see the way his black hair fell flat against his head. “Sure.”

I carefully felt my way along the wall until the generous cold breeze was hitting my flushed skin. “Thank god,” I groaned, practically forcing my head outside.

“Drink too much?”

“A combination of that and the music.”

“I heard a rumor that the beer was definitely spiked,” he said, dark eyes looking me over. “You’re obviously new here.”

“I’m with my brother,” I offered cautiously in response to his sudden advances.

“Do I know him?”

“Lee Minho.”

Changbin’s eyes widened. “We’re in the same music composition lecture. I thought he mentioned you in class.”

“He invited me,” I continued, but I didn’t understand why I felt the need to justify myself to him.

“I bet he did,” Changbin nodded. “Why would he hide you from us?”

I shivered. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“Is that right?” he asked before cornering me against the wall with a hungry gaze. “You hear the song playing?”

I nodded. “It’s loud.”

Changbin chuckled. “I made it.”

I nodded again because that certainly explained the explicit lyrics. “It’s...interesting?”

“Yeah?” Changbin purred. “Do you like it?”

“I do,” I gasped, feeling one of his hands grab me around the waist.

His lips brushed against mine, soft and sensual, while he inhaled deeply. “Y/N, is this your first party?”

“No,” I whispered because it suddenly felt like we were the only two people left in the room.

“I just assumed,” he said. “From the way you’re reacting.”

“W-what?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you wanted to go someplace else with me,” Changin said.

I was completely baffled by his assumption, searching for the right words, but they never came. However, the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat forced us apart, and I was surprised to see Chan standing so close. “I guess you’ve met Minho’s little sister,” Chan said and I hated how immature the introduction sounded. 

“She made sure to tell me,” Changbin smirked. “I can’t believe we haven’t met before.”

“He’s looking for her,” Chan continued, and I was confused by the hostility in his tone. “You probably shouldn’t do anything.”

“Wasn’t gonna,” Changbin retorted, planting one of his hands next to my head. “She’s feeling sick. Tell Minho I can take her home.”

“He won’t like that.”

“Oh? Is anyone else sober?”

Chan was quiet for a moment, eyes darting between the two of us. “Wait here.”

“What a good host,” Changbin snarked, but Chan was already walking away and I was starting to feel the effects of my alcoholic consumption darken the edges of my vision.

My brother was nothing short of incoherent, swaying back against Chan as he tried to give me a stern look. “Y/N, I hope you didn’t drink too much.”

“Really?” I snorted. “Isn’t that hypocritical?”

Of course, my admonishment had no effect on Minho. “Chan said that you were feeling sick.”

“It’s just a headache,” I said, although my churning stomach seemed to suggest otherwise.

“I thought I could take Y/N home,” Changbin interrupted. “I guess she could use some fresher air.”

“Sure,” Minho nodded, eyes glassy. “I don’t mind.”

Minho was readily willing to entrust his sister into the care of someone she had just met, and that’s when I knew that he couldn’t be trusted to take me anywhere. “Is that what you want?” Chan asked.

I shrugged because it might be nice to finally escape the endless drumming of Chan’s intricate sound system. “I might be saving myself some trouble.”

“I need more cigarettes,” Changbin said. “I’m running low and I know there’s a store near Minho’s house.

I frowned, but figured that Minho had brought Changbin over to our house before during that brief phase at the start of his college semester when I saw a new face in the basement every week. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“As long as you behave,” Chan warned him quietly, but I never had the opportunity to question him before Changbin was forcing us both outside onto the main porch where the snow was starting to build along the sidewalks.

“This way,” Changbin said, resting one of his hands against my lower back as he guided us down the street.

Changbin’s car was a very old model and the paint was starting to peel from the doors. He helped me inside slowly, reaching for my seat-belt before I slapped his hands out of the way because I could manage to do that by myself. He chuckled at my glare. “Comfortable?”

I nodded in response and waited for him to turn on the ignition before I was savoring the accompanying blast of heat even though it smelled distinctly of ashes. “Minho’s little sister,” Changbin said, eyes focused on the road in front of him. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” I replied because the growing distance between us and Chan’s party music was actually nice. “I guess the music gave me a headache.”

“That’s how Chan likes it,” Changbin said. “He’s gotten at least a dozen noise complaints from this past month alone.”

“How many parties does he have!”

Changbin smirked. “He likes to keep his house full.”

“It might’ve been too much tonight,” I said, leaning my head against the cold window. “I’ve never seen so many people.”

“Exams,” Changbin said. “When college students feel stressed, they like to get shitfaced.”

“But you’re not drunk.”

“Who said that I was stressed?”

His tone was strangely flirtatious, especially when he looked at me. “You didn’t have to help me, you know?”

“I know, but it was my window we were sharing,” Changbin said. “You looked like you were seconds away from crashing.”

“I can take care of myself,” I replied, even though it was rather harsh to criticize someone who was currently neglecting the speed limit to take my home as quickly as possible. “When did you meet Minho?”

“A few weeks ago,” Changbin said. “We worked on a project together.”

“I guess you’ve already been to my house.”

“Yeah, but I sure as hell don’t remember seeing you.”

“I don’t really like to socialize with most of my brother’s friends.” 

“Well, that explains a lot,” Changbin said, briefly glancing at me. “Are you that type? The unattainable girl next door?”

“I just don’t like people,” I grumbled, but Changbin seemed to think it was funny, laughing at my expense while reaching down to turn on the radio despite the fact that music had caused my headache in the first place.

Of course, I didn’t want to be that type, so I endured his self-promotion, listening to his gravelly voice suspend the entire car into some kind of hip-hip haven. He talked his way through the introductions of every song on his mixtapes, bragging about his compositions and arrangements. “It’s all about authenticity,” he explained when we finally pulled into my driveway.

“Is that so?” I sighed, frowning when I realized Felix had forgotten to turn on the front porch light.

“I guess I should wait until you’re inside,” Changbin chuckled.

“Thanks,” I said, reaching out for the door handle.

“Woah! Baby, where are you going?” Changbin asked, and I quickly returned my hands to my lap. “Are you trying to get away from me?”

“No,” I shook my head, breathing heavily when he reached for my thigh.

“You probably don’t hear this a lot,” Changbin continued. “But you’re really sexy.”

I startled at his words. “Thank you?”

“I mean it, Y/N,” he continued, fingers inching along my thigh like it was free real estate. “Thank god you wanted to share my window.”

I shook my head rapidly when he turned off the ignition, navigating the waistband of his panties to drag his hand against my sensitive core. “What are you doing?” I whispered.

“I’m trying to make you feel good,” he said. “Do you want me to?”

I nodded this time, waiting with my fists balled against the leather seats while he penetrated the soft walls of my core, moving in and out slowly to help me adjust to his fingers. I tried to relax, dropping my shoulders and controlling the way I was panting in desperation for more of the addicting feeling he was creating in my lower abdomen. It all felt entirely scandalous, feeling the way his fingers dragged across my insides, curling against the most responsive parts and watching me with an intensity that I could barely tolerate. I was moaning for him, calling his name softly because he was starting to increase his movements, and I focused on the way his wrist reappeared from underneath my skirt before losing itself in a sea of denim fabric.

“It’s wet,” he remarked, and the sounds of his penetration were growing louder, intermingling with my rapid breaths and the dark tone of his voice. “I can feel it.”

I knew what he meant because my entire body was pulsing in time to the pace in which he played with me. It was like I was his personal experiment, testing how I reacted to certain touches, especially when he crooked his fingers and a moan would displace the temporary quiet. “Changbin,” I whined, reaching for his arm because everything was starting to feel overwhelming.

“I got you,” he said. “You’ve been so good for me, Y/N, I’m not gonna stop until you cum.”

I orgasmed at his filthy words, falling down from the place he sent me and into a deep headspace. He pulled his fingers back, holding them up so that I could clearly see the evidence of my release in the faint light from the street lamp outside. “You didn’t expect that,” Changbin said calmly, reaching for a tissue from the backseat while I tried to figure out what just happened. “I don’t really care who your brother is,” he continued, moving in close. “I think we should fuck next time.” 

“Changbin,” I said, “if Minho finds out-”

“Why are you always worried about him?”

“He’s my brother!”

“Oh? Well, in that case, since you want to be good for your older brother,” Changbin smirked. “I guess I’ll have to find a different way to see you again.”

The next morning, I took a shower because I could still feel traces of Changbin’s touches between my thighs. The water was hot, fogging up the mirrors and making it difficult to breathe. It was necessary because I could function better when I re-emerged with fresh clothes and a sudden hunger for those little chocolate muffins my mom bought at the store.

I walked downstairs, noticing Felix and Jisung both sitting at the counter while they talked over their breakfast. Felix noticed me first, watching as I grabbed a leftover pastry from the fridge before leaning back against the cabinets. “Did you have fun last night?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes, but then I realized that his question was innocent because he definitely didn’t know about Changbin. “It was nice.”

“What are you doing today?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I haven’t made plans.”

“You can hang out with me and Jisung today,” Felix suggested. “We’re just going for coffee.”

Jisung met my gaze from over the table and he quickly looked away as if he wasn’t expecting the contact. “Yeah,” I nodded. “I could use some coffee.”

It wasn’t often that I accompanied Felix and Jisung when they decided to actually leave the house and my brother’s massive collection of video games. Felix was never the problem, but I could only endure so much of Jisung’s flirtations before I inevitably made another pointless vow to try and ignore him. It was an impossible promise to keep since Felix was practically glued to his hip, and I can’t remember the last time Jisung actually spent the night at his own home.

However, coffee was nice and the taste was bile so it sat heavy on my tongue and provided a good distraction, even if that meant listening to my brother and Felix talk about the party. “I met Chan,” Jisung said. “He was really cool.”

Felix nodded, eyeing his coffee with obvious distaste. “Minho seems to like him.”

“He introduced me to his partner, Changbin,” Jisung continued and I fidgeted nervously at the mention of his name. “Apparently, they do a lot of work together.”

“I’ve heard their stuff,” Felix said, finally pushing away his coffee cup in exchange for his orange juice. “I think they’re really talented.”

“It’s like you’re meeting real professionals,” Jisung gushed and I rolled my eyes. “I let them listen to one of my demos,” Jisung chuckled. “I think they want to work together.”

“Really?” Felix gasped. “That’s amazing!”

“I guess they need another partner,” I remarked, shivering when I thought about my encounter with Changbin from the previous evening.

“You can always come with me to the studio tomorrow,” Jisung said. “If you want.”

The idea of being alone with Jisung wasn’t exactly high on my list of priorities. “I don’t know...”

“Changbin will be there too,” Jisung added. “Minho said he really thought you were cool at the party.”

“I bet he did,” I grumbled.

“Why are you inviting her instead of your best friend?” Felix pouted.

“You said you needed to work on a project,” Jisung reminded him. “Actually, you made me swear to keep away distractions!”

“Alright, fine,” Felix sighed. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with it.”

Jisung ignored my brother’s sullen expression. “Y/N? Do you want to come?”

“I guess,” I said, and I had no idea what possessed me to agree with his request until it was too late.

The next morning, I met Jisung outside of the address he had sent to my phone with several rather inappropriate emojis. I made sure to scold him for the messages, but he was far too excited, ignoring my complaints when he started talking about the new project he was working on with Chan and Changbin. “Come on,” he said, holding open the door as I walked inside the tiny lobby of the simple two-story building. “We’re on the top floor,” Jisung smirked as if that was something to brag about considering the condition of the worn-down warehouse they were using as a studio.

However, I knew that he was excited, so I feigned a smile as he continued talking about the building’s intricate history while we walked up the staircase to pause outside of a studio room. “Is this it?” I asked.

He nodded, reaching for the door handle. “They should be inside.”

True to his word, Chan and Changbin were standing together in front of a large computer monitor, turning around when they heard me and Jisung enter the room together. “There you are,” Chan said, but his gaze was strangely focused on me.

“We have some stuff for you to hear,” Changbin said, stretching his arms above his head. “I need some coffee first.”

“There’s a gas station down the road,” Jisung said. “I’ll go with you?”

Changbin looked at me for a moment before agreeing to Jisung’s proposal. “We’ll have plenty of time to work when we get back.”

“You’re in for a surprise, Jisung,” Chan said. “Actually, while the two of you are gone, maybe Y/N could look at some of the tracks?”

“Really?” I asked, surprised that he would be so willing to share, but he was already dragging me down into the desk chair, pulling me closer to the monitor.

“You can take you time and browse,” he said, joining Jisung and Changbin at the door.

They started talking about something else, but I was too busy admiring the vast number of tracks listened in sequential order on Chan’s computer. Despite how I might feel about Changbin, it was impossible to deny that their work was impressive, spreading across years of effort. It felt like I was being allowed an intimate glimpse of the artists who were growing more popular everyday.

“Try to be back in twenty minutes,” Chan said, and I watched Jisung and Changbin leave together, whispering in low tones while Chan shut the door behind them. “Your music is really good,” I said, scrolling through the library of his songs. It only made him that much more appealing when I could see the evidence of his passion.

“Are we going to stop playing games, Y/N?”

I frowned at his question, turning around in the chair. “What do you mean?”

Chan smirked, and I realized that it wasn’t playful. “Do you have any idea how fucking gorgeous you are?” he asked.

“Chan...” I trailed off, frozen in place while he slowly leered in my direction, taking several, meaningful steps before he was bracing himself on either side of the desk behind me. 

“Changbin told me about what happened in the car.”

I swallowed hard. “W-what?”

“Is that all it takes? A couple of fingers to satisfy you?”

“Chan, I don’t understand,” I tried, gasping when he picked me up out of the chair, legs wrapping around his waist automatically before he sat me down on the desk.

“Do you want it again?” Chan asked, running his hands alongside my waist before crawling his finger across the bare skin of my thighs, disregarding the thin barrier of my skirt. I felt him press the palm of his hand against my wet heat, fingers testing the edges of my panties. “I can make you feel good.”

The sensation was too much, and I found myself nodding without really thinking about the consequences. “Please.”

His fingers were suddenly penetrating my delicate walls, sliding in and out at a vicious pace that left me aching for something more. “Tell me, Y/N,” Chan demanded, using his thumb to circle my throbbing clitoris. “How does it feel?”

“I want it, Chan,” I moaned, bracing my hands against his firm chest as he continued to pleasure me. Unlike Changbin, I could tell that Chan was determined to make me cum as soon as possible, twisting his hand and jamming his fingers like he was aiming to make me lose my mind. I practically fell against him crying, riding out the waves of my high, while he ignored my whimpers when everything was suddenly feeling overstimulated.

“Come here,” he said, pulling out his fingers before falling against his chair and patting his thighs.

My legs were shaking when Chan helped me onto his lap and I moaned when his fingers crooked against my walls again. “Do you want my cock?” he asked and I nodded viciously, sending strands of my hair flying in all directions. “What a good girl,” he snarled, ripping his fingers away and leaving me whining around the empty space he left behind.

“Chan,” I groaned, resting my head against his shoulder while I watched him make a show out of undoing the belt around his waist, unzipping his skinny jeans before shoving the material down his thighs. His erection strained the silky material of his boxer shorts, and I was practically salivating.

He reached down to rub himself through his shorts, outlining his cock in a way that made me realize that I wasn’t going to leave this studio without an obvious limp. “Y/N,” he said. “Take off your skirt for me.”

I whined, but obeyed him instantly, bracing one hand against his shoulder while the other practically ripped the fine material of the pretty skirt down my legs and into the studio floor. Chan’s eyes darkened, grabbing my waist between his hands to grind the front of my soaked panties against his erection. “Please,” I cried, wanting nothing more than to take matters into my own hands, but Chan’s grip was impossible to break.

“I’m going to fuck this little pussy,” Chan growled. “Can you last long enough for me to come inside?”

“Yes,” I whined, stuttering around a broken sob when he pulled his cock into the studio light, stretching my panties to the side before sinking deep inside my pulsing heat.

“That’s right,” Chan said, eyes closed. “You feel so good.”

“Chan,” I moaned, eye widening when the stretch felt impossible, like he was splitting me open even when common sense told me that it was just my body accommodating to his cock.

His hips slammed into mine, and I could barely reciprocate when he easily overpowered my attempts to meet him somewhere between our bodies. Instead, he took control and I let him have it because he knew exactly what to do before sending me over the edge again, ignoring my cries when he continued to chase his own high, grunting against my ear when he came inside.

“Y/N,” he sighed, keeping me in place despite the fact that his cock was completely flaccid. “Such a good girl.”

I was incoherent and incapable of offering a response in return. Instead, I buried my face into the side of his neck, smelling the scent of his cologne mixed with sweat and the sex polluting the air around us. His body was firm and warm, and I closed my eyes because everything felt like an incredibly lucid dream.

I was still exhausted from the previous afternoon, unable to walk much further than from my bedroom to the living room before the painful reminder of my unexpected session with Chan started to ache between my legs. There was a movie playing on the television, but I was only somewhat focused on the lazy plot and characters. Instead, I was thinking about my interactions with Chan and Changbin, wondering if the two men were playing some sort of mind game with me.

I only managed to tear myself away from those thoughts when I saw Minho as he walked down the stairs with Felix and Jisung talking about something to do with a sports competition. “There you are!” Felix exclaimed. “We were just talking about your visit to the studio with Jisung.”

“I heard you got a tour,” Minho said. “That was nice of them.”

“Yeah,” I agree because there was a lot more to talk about besides the tour of the dilapidated studio.

“I haven’t had a chance to visit,” Minho said. “But they said I could record my new demo there.”

“Another one!” Felix gasped, looking at my brother with wide eyes. “You’re a fucking genius, man.”

“Oh, I know,” Minho smirked. “Actually, I can show you before my first lecture,” Minho said, starting in the direction of his bedroom.

Jisung watched Felix trail behind Minho before he joined me on the couch. “What did you think of the studio?”

I swallowed hard. “It was fine.”

“I think it’s really nice,” Jisung said. “Chan said something making us a permanent trio! He even gave us a name and everything!”

“Oh?”

“3racha,” Jisung giggled. “It’s like a pun-”

“Yeah, I get it,” I sighed impatiently. “I’m trying to watch the movie.”

Jisung was undeterred by the sharp comment, and he buried himself further into the cushions before turning his attention back to the screen.

“Our first show is tomorrow, Y/N,” Jisung giggled, and I finally turned to look at him. “I hope you can watch?”

“Where?”

“It’s a club somewhere downtown. I can send you the address? I know that Chan and Changbin were both insisting that you come.”

“I’m sure they were,” I grumbled, but Jisung was more interested in talking about his contributions to the album. 

“It would mean a lot to me,” he managed after thoroughly explaining their newest concept. “You don’t even have to stay for the whole show.”

“I don’t know...”

“Minho and Felix are coming!” he quickly added, and I wondered if he knew that I would feel more comfortable with my brothers around.

“Okay,” I finally relented, groaning when he started jumping up and down on the couch like an overzealous puppy.

I rode to the club with Minho and Felix who were excitedly chattering about the impending concert while I looked out the window despondently. It felt like a huge risk to show up to the concert considering the recent events concerning my meetings with Chan and Changbin. However, I didn’t want my brothers to be suspicious, so I reluctantly followed them inside where we squeezed together around one of the tables in the middle of an enormous crowd.

The atmosphere was euphoric, draped in a haze of alcohol and the flashing neon lights decorating the stage. It was actually quite civil considering the fact that we were moments away from listening to loud music full of pounding bass and fast rapping. I was half-way convinced that the other guests had no idea what they were actually getting themselves into by coming here tonight.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” an annoucement blared overheard, “please welcome, 3racha!”

The audience started clapping while a familiar melody began softly playing, and the fans around me started to cheer for the three shadowy figures who had suddenly walked onto the stage. “Let’s go!” Chan shouted, beginning his verse of the song which I now recognized as one of the tracks they had played for me at the studio. They were all wearing black, matching the tone and vibe of their music, playing through each track with an infectious energy. However, I was still unnerved because I noticed that they all managed to look at me at some point, even though the crowd, and I was starting to feel hot all over my entire body.

“They’re really good,” Felix remarked, and I nodded in return even though I was finding the table much more interesting.

“Thank you, 3racha!” an overhead announcement said and the audience were rising to their feet in synchrony to offer the artists a round of applause for their stage.

“Jisung sounded amazing!” Felix said as if he couldn’t resist the opportunity to brag about his friend.

“Maybe we can meet them backstage,” Minho suggested, and I halfheartedly protested when my brothers forced me to accompany them.

Subsequently, Minho forced Felix and I to wait by the stage for his friends because he was convinced that I really didn’t have an important project to complete before tomorrow. “You never do anything last minute, Y/N,” he said, smiling when he spotted Chan’s messy hair from the middle of the crowd.

“Hey!” Chan greeted him, accepting Minho’s failed attempt at a cool handshake. Changbin and Jisung followed him, and I couldn’t help but notice how the youngest had started to stumble on his feet. 

“You guys did great,” Minho said, talking extensively about his favorite performance while a sudden bombardment of alcohol hit my senses.

I instantly recoiled, covering my nose when the smell grew stronger. “How much did you drink, Jisung?”

“Not much,” the younger boy slurred, and I noticed that his eyes were distant.

“I’ll grab us more drinks,” Changbin said, giving me a familiar dark look before disappearing into the surrounding crowd.

“He’ll be fine,” Felix said, tossing an arm around Jisung’s shoulder. “You deserve to celebrate tonight, man!”

I tugged on Minho’s sleeve to catch his attention, unwittingly drawing Chan’s gaze at the same time. “I think he’s drunk.”

Minho sighed, ready to launch into one of his world-famous lectures, when he was interrupted by the DJ onstage who confronted Chan. “Hey! We couldn’t find you after the show.”

Chan rolled his eyes. “I was out here the entire time.”

“Well, you need to pick up your CD backstage,” the DJ said. “The owners will throw it out tomorrow.”

“I’ll be right there,” Chan grumbled while glaring at the DJ.

“Now,” the man growled and Chan quietly excused himself with a brittle tone. Meanwhile, I had to help Felix with Jisung because his friend was starting to sway dangerously back and forth.

“He needs to go home,” I sighed, watching as Jisung leaned more of his weight against a much smaller Felix.

“I’d take him, but I already had two beers,” Minho said, looking at Felix expectantly.

“Me!” Felix whined. “But I want to stay.”

“He’s your friend,” I glowered.

“Alright,” Minho groaned. “Y/N, you haven’t had anything to drink and you’re way more responsible than Felix.”

It was easy to meet Minho’s stern gaze since this was the perfect opportunity to finally leave the club. “Fine, I’ll take Jisung home.”

“Then it’s settled,” he agreed, tossing me his spare set of car keys. “Take him to our place.”

“Okay,” I said, groaning when Felix helped Jisung wrap his arms around my shoulders and waist. The additional weight was burdensome, and I cursed Jisung under my breath as I helped him through the club to where the bouncer waited at the exit. “I’ll never let you forget this,” I hissed, waiting for the bouncer to open the door while I took one last look over my shoulder to check on my brothers. Instead, I found myself looking directly into Changbin’s dark eyes as he waited by the bar, a familiar smirk making him appear even more dangerous. I shivered in response before I slowly shuffled to the car with Jisung practically breathing down my neck.

When I finally managed to accompany Jisung inside my house, I unceremoniously deposited him on the couch, ignoring the way he groaned in complaint. “I’ll find you some medicine,” I said, searching through one of the side tables.

“It hurts,” Jisung whined, and I rolled my eyes after shoving a bottle of Aspirin in his direction.

“Remember that when you decide to be stupid again.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, dropping two pills into his hand before swallowing them eagerly.

I grimaced as I sat down next to him. “When did you start drinking?”

“Before the show,” Jisung said. “Changbin said it would help take the edge off.”

“Yeah? Do me a favor and don’t listen to him anymore,” I said, frowning when Jisung curled closer to my side. “What are you doing?”

“Tired,” he said, looking up at me with a smile. “You look beautiful.”

I scoffed, trying to push him away, but alcohol apparently made him bolder because he was suddenly twisting one leg around my hip to hold himself in place. “Jisung, you need to stop,” I said, gasping when he brought his lips against mine, kissing me with skill and a surprising amount of tongue. “We can’t do this!”

“Please,” Jisung whined, grinding his hips against my legs. “Just one night, Y/N?”

“Your drunk,” I said, which was only one of a dozen problems with the scenarios currently playing out right in front of my very eyes.

“I’m sober,” Jisung promised, frantically chasing my lips with eager kisses.

It was nothing short of desire, the way he was looking at me, while I watched our clothes end up in a pile around the couch as Jisung fumbled with the condom before I helped him roll it onto his erection. He groaned at the contact, and I moved my hand up and down his cock a few more times before directing him between my legs. Jisung slid inside with a messy exhale, and his arms trembled as they supported his body looming over mine with his delicate frame.

It was a pleasant contradiction because Chan’s thrusts had been nothing short of confident while Jisung’s inexperience showed in the frantic way his hips stuttered against mine. He tried to move faster, losing his previous rhythm, and his cock fell all the way out, erection sliding between my thighs instead. He whined pathetically, rutting against my legs for several moments before he re-adjusted himself deep inside. “Y/N,” he moaned.

“It’s okay,” I told him, petting my fingers along the crown of his head. “You’re doing so good.”

“I like you so much,” Jisung replied earnestly and my heart ached at his words.

He looked unbelievably sinful, eclipsing my body against his as I felt the fabric of the couch against my skin. The friction was delicious, and I focused on the way his cock felt, thrusts growing more and more assured as he finally found a way to please us both, thumb brushing across my clitoris. He was still kissing me, tongue moving across mine deliberately, and I was breathing harshly as I fought to control the rising heat building in my abdomen. It was an intense build-up to an orgasm that I could’ve never anticipated since Jisung was always Felix’s friend who I usually avoided. The same Jisung whose endless flirtations usually annoyed me, but something had changed the moment I looked into his eyes and saw the lust and desire coming together to create an intoxicating mixture.

It was suddenly impossible to ignore the way he made me feel and I felt him come deep inside with a stuttered moan. His hips moved harshly against mine, and I chased my release with a sensual grind of my hips until I was throwing my head back with a cry, groaning when his lips found the sensitive skin of my neck. “Jisung,” I murmured, watching him through a haze of darkness as he rolled over next to me with a moan.

I studied the way Jisung’s hair fanned out across the cushions, making him look angelic beneath the influence of the moon’s light breaking the barrier of the  curtains. It made me feel guilty, realizing that I had finally returned Jisung’s feelings only after my tumultuous affairs with Changbin and Chan. In fact, I was nothing more than the very girls I often mocked when they threw themselves at the most popular boys in school. I swallowed hard at the realization. “What have I done?”

[changbeanie]

bloom.mp3 ↠ han jisung

◦ genre: college!au, soundcloud rapper!au, idiots to lovers!au, frat boy!au; fluff

◦ pairings: reader x jisung

◦ word count: 15.8k

◦ description: when linkin park enthusiast, soundcloud rapper j.one begins to write love songs, han jisung knows it’s over for him.

◦ warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, suggestive remarks

◦ a/n: two months writing hiatus & I’m back with a (non-angst) han fic !!! enjoy this mess that has too many frat references, questionable drinking habits, and a whole lot of love for j.one :)

one.

Jisung knows that whenever Hyunjin asks to study in the library, they are doing anything but studying.

But if he’s paying that much to attend college, away from the comfort of his own home where he doesn’t have to do his own dishes and laundry, he might as well take advantage of the facilities that the university has to offer. Like that one saying: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Except he actually hates lemonade, but he’d still drink it if that one sustainability org on campus gives them out for free in those reusable glass bottles with smiley lemon stickers on them.

It’s not the actual branding of the lemonade that appeals to him (though he does like yellow)—it’s the fact that it’s free.

Because that’s probably the hottest thing you could ever say to a college student.

“What’s the approximate headcount for the party at Woojin’s house next weekend? I need to tell Chan how many drinks to buy,” Hyunjin insists on the first floor of the library. See, if they really wanted to study, they’d be on the third floor and up, not the first floor on the orange seats in front of Sam’s Coffee. Jisung doesn’t feel bad at all for bothering Jeongin until he gets up aggressively to grab him an Americano. 

It’s not hazing, he swears.

“Um two hundred… if Woojin doesn’t invite alums,” Jisung tells him with a sigh, tossing his head back in exasperation. “I have a midterm right on Monday, so I’m trying not to die from a hangover on Saturday.”

“That’s what Sundays are for, you nerd,” his friend comments, adding the numbers 2-0-0 onto the spreadsheet with a fat question mark behind them. It’s not like Hyunjin has a midterm on Monday. He has no right to say anything… theater majors, ugh. The end of the year play is their final, and Jisung thinks it’s a godsend privilege.

“Are you done with classes today?” Felix asks as he finally peels his eyes away from his laptop. Jisung wonders how a computer science major like him can party and code at the same time, but then again, when he’s madly drunk, the only language he speaks is Python. Funny enough, girls dig that because they’re prospective people. They ignore the drunk boy in front of them right now and see a future coder working in Silicon Valley and making boatloads of cold, hard cash.

Jisung picks up his phone and checks the time. It’s 4:45 PM, so he still has a bit of time left. “Yeah, but I have a project with Y/N after she gets off work,” he says.

Hyunjin pulls away from the spreadsheet and tuts his head. He’s supposed to be reading five whole chapters of McChesney for his mandatory Literature 114 class (which is anything but lit) today, and he hasn’t even touched the tab. He hasn’t even started and he has the time to plan parties and stick his nose in Jisung’s business. “Why Thursday? What’s wrong with Friday? It’s not like you’re doing anything on Friday besides sleeping in your SpongeBob boxers all day?” he pries loudly, loud enough for Jeongin and several others in the coffee line to look over at Jisung with a “wtf” face.

“Can you say that any fucking louder?” Jisung accuses him, eyes wide. He thinks he’d rather study on the sixth floor at this rate. “And she said she doesn’t want to see my face on Fridays.”

“Wow, she has great taste,” Felix adds callously. “I don’t want to see your face on Fridays either, but sadly, I share a room with you.”

Jisung knew he should have moved in with Changbin after freshman year. “She has some internship on Friday, okay? And it’s not like either of us wants to read about infrastructures and communities of practice and legitimate peripheral participation over the weekend.” 

Woojin has said it before that he tends to ramble when he’s nervous. Now he’s starting to hear it.

“From one to ten, how whipped is he?” Hyunjin says, boredom lacing his brown eyes.

“Definitely over ten,” Felix supplies unhelpfully, glancing over at Hyunjin.

Jisung hates the look they give each other. It’s like an unsaid agreement for imminent chaos, which is ironic because he’s usually the chaotic one. But the two of them together? Invincible. Like Kirby and Meta Knight in Kirby: Super Star Ultra. It’s the same look they share when they mutually agreed that it was alright for Jisung to do a shotgun eight shots in only for him to wake up dreadfully around five in the morning and run straight to the sink. Same look they share when they thought it’d be a good idea to try the hottest chip in the world (they shared one chip like they share one brain cell) only to yank open the freezer and resort to chomping on ice cubes while splayed across the kitchen floor. Same look they share when Jisung’s miserable love life has become the pinnacle of their entertainment because Black Mirror doesn’t come out with a new season until, conveniently enough, finals season.

“I’m not whipped! I just want to work on some lyrics over the weekend because I got this new bootleg mixing software from Chan–”

“What’s that? Excuses?” Felix interrupts uselessly like the pest he is. “I know you’re better than this, J.ONE.”

“Maybe if you admit your feelings for Y/N, all your songs won’t be about existential crises and about how much you hate college and how cool your roommates are. Rebrand J.ONE, you know? You’ve been wanting to go into R&B rap, so this is your chance!” Hyunjin voices, and Jisung wonders how loudly does one person speak because his life is ruined once someone finds out that he’s J.ONE, the rising SoundCloud artist who is rumored to be attending school on this campus. Not that he’s insecure or anything, but he’d much rather be on the DL about it.

Jisung scoffs, gobsmacked. “Not once did I write a song about how cool my roommates are. Not once!”

“Then it’s time you fucking did, Han,” Felix laughs as he sips on his Monster Energy before going back to his coding duties. Gotta love college and responsibilities. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Jisung mumbles when Jeongin grudgingly hands him his iced Americano. “What took you so long?”

The younger boy feels the need to turn around and point a finger that the line wrapping all the way around the restrooms and into the computer lounge. “If you haven’t noticed, it’s 5 PM and people get out of classes right now and want to cry over how much they don’t understand the lectures, you genius,” Jeongin advises coldly, and he has every right to.

In the span of fifteen minutes, Jisung gets called a genius and a nerd, but he’s not sure if they’re compliments. In conclusion, he wishes he were studying. “Wait… what time is it?” he asks suddenly, eyes alarmed.

“Five?” Jeongin slips his dining card back into his wallet and thinks that if he wants the dollars to last all year, he needs to stop buying people coffee.

“Oh shit,” Jisung curses, scrambling to grab his backpack, “I’ll see you guys back at the apartment. Y/N’s gonna grill my ass so hard.” 

“Oh, so she’s into the Devil roleplay,” Felix chuckles creepily as his eyes fixate on the computer screen. 

Jisung takes out the useless paper straw and tosses it at his roommate in vain. Partially because Felix is such an ass and the Coding Club doesn’t really need a vice president who sleeps more than he attends meetings. And partially because paper straws suck and get soggy within the span of three sips.

Hyunjin cackles at Felix’s less than appropriate comment, but Jisung races towards the library’s entrance before he feels he need to bleach his ears with whatever Hyunjin is about to say next.

It doesn’t even apply to him, but this could totally count as hazing.

two:

“You’re late.”

“I got you coffee?” Jisung says, but it sounds more like a question. He watches your face morph into an even deeper frown. 

“Your cup’s half gone and all sweaty on the outside,” you deadpan, crossing your arms in front. “If you’re gonna lie about it, at least be a good liar. But yeah, give me the coffee.” You move your hands towards him in grabby motions.

Jisung does not regret forcing Jeongin to buy him coffee and hands you the rest of his Americano. “Was work busy or something?” he asks, pondering over your eagerness for caffeine. 

You take a sip of coffee and begin to walk towards the bus stop. “Nah, works been chill. I always do Park’s business outlines when no one’s looking, which is always. It’s just midterms season, and I feel like I’m sitting in a room… but the room is on fire and I’m tied to a chair. A real shame,” you say, tucking a hand into your pocket.

Autumn is really here. Only a few weeks ago, it was summer. Funny how fast time flies when you’re stuck in a loop of never-ending assignments and exams. At least it’s not stupid hot and you don’t have any fruit flies in your apartment anymore; guess there is a silver lining to everything.

“God, it’s awful. I have a party next Friday and our advertising midterm is on Monday,” Jisung groans, making sure to walk a little closer to you when a biker passes you by. 

“You mean your Alpha Kappa Delta Gamma Phi Nu Chi Omega frat party?”

Jisung laughs and nods. “Yeah, Y/N. Just name the entire Greek alphabet for me.”

You turn to him and make a face. “I never really understood the Greek life. I mean, the parties are fun and all that, but God… imagine the mess. College students are such pigs, did you know that? There was this one girl in my hall last year. She left a potato under the couch for who knows how long, and when the janitors finally cleaned it, it was all moldy and rotting and attracting maggots.”

“But we’re having it at Woojin’s house this year, so it won’t be as bad as the other frats on campus,” he feels the need to say. Like it actually makes a difference. “Hey, at least there aren’t maggots. What can be worse than having maggots in your living commons?”

“No maggots but sweaty bodies grinding against each other to bad EDM music? I rest my case.”

Jisung is caught off-guard. “You clearly haven’t been to an Alpha Kappa Delta Gamma Phi Chi Omega party,” he states. He knows for a fact that he would never allow any of his parties to play generic, crappy EDM music when he has CB97 working the DJ. 

“You’re one ‘Nu’ short but yeah. I don’t think I’ve been to your specific frat party. Do you know the frat Jaemin is in? Elipson Omega something… that one medical frat. It was fucking terrible! Someone barfed on my brand new sneakers!”

“That’s another reason to never trust doctors,” Jisung chuckles to himself, trying to imagine the appalled look on your face; it’s like you’re fuming but cute at the same time. “And to never wear new sneakers to anywhere with alcohol involved.”

“I’m over my partying days, Han. That dumb decision-making episode is over,” you comment dryly. You don’t remember the last time you had anything stronger than a beer.

Jisung opens his mouth to say something but is cut off when you do a full-body groan at the line forming in front of the bus stop. He sees the monstrosity for himself and immediately regrets being late. “Does everyone on campus just make an agreement to end class around five?”

“Yeah, assholes. Have your ID card out so we can just run inside when he parks.” That mentality doesn’t really work, you see, because everyone has their IDs out and is pushing towards all three of the doors. This reminds you of those middle-aged ladies during Black Friday… what horror.

Jisung sticks close behind you as everyone is pushing and tugging and trying to get onto the 325 that has just arrived. Another reason why college sucks: it’s off-campus housing, but it’s still in one cluster and has one bus (the 325) that takes you there. He notices the pins you have on your backpack; there’s a Pikachu one, a boba milk tea, some random soju ones, and then a Peppa the Pig. There’s not really an aesthetic to the pins that you collect, but they’re definitely a conversation starter. 

“I think we might have to take the next bus back to my apartment,” you sigh, seeing that the current bus is almost filled to its capacity with eager, hungry college students. Just like you. You haven’t eaten a proper meal since ten in the morning.

“Go. There’s still room,” Jisung urges, lightly pushing your backpack through the doors until you’re able to hop on before he steps up himself. He gives a not-very-apologetic look to the boy behind him as the doors begin to close. 

“I hate this,” you say, gripping the bar and turning around to face Jisung instead of a tall dude’s armpit. If you were his friend, he’s getting nothing but deodorant for Christmas.

Jisung holds his breath at how close your bodies are, your exhales tickling his chin and your body heat radiating off your thin windbreaker. It doesn’t help with the fact that his hand is basically on top of yours due to the lack of bar handle space when the bus is packed its extent. He prays that his hand doesn’t start to feel clammy. “Um, did you eat yet?” he asks to mask his nervousness.

“No, did you?” You meet eyes with Jisung, and he breaks it as the bus brakes roughly at the first stoplight. 

“No. Do you wanna order in?” Jisung’s heart dips, feels like it might actually beat out of his chest and scream.

“What, are you paying?” you say, grinning happily. “I mean, I am housing you.”

The only reason why he insisted to work on the project at your apartment was because he wasn’t ready for you to find out how much of a slob he was, how many dirty socks are in his hamper right now, and how much shit Seungmin gives him every day. “Okay, whatever. I want burritos though,” he negotiates. Usually, he’d go for Chinese, but Hyunjin orders that way too often when he’s rehearsing his stage directions. The chopsticks give it a flare, he claims.

“There’s this really good joint by my place. We’ll just get off a stop early then–” The bus jolts forward and you sort of fall onto Jisung; he staggers a little before regaining his balance. You apologize profusely to Jisung for almost causing a domino effect on the poor passengers behind him. You really do hate the bus system, this is where all your taxes go to.

Jisung stands quietly, watching how the shape of your eyes changes as embarrassment slowly creeps into your features, a rosy blush rising to your cheeks and spreading across your nose bridge. He shuffles closer to you and waits till your breaths are even again before he wonders what it feels like to wrap his arms around you.

three.

Mid-burrito bite, Jisung wants to cry when you say that your roommate’s hamster looks like him.

He can’t believe it… that rat. Sans tail, of course, but nonetheless a rat. He watches as you feed him kernels of corn from your salsa with a devilish smile on your face. The rat, whom you named Truffles because he’s black with a speck of white, stuffs its cheeks full and eagerly reaches for more.

“See! He just stuffs it and–look! So cute! So fucking cute! Fatass.” Then, you look over at him and point to his face. “You do the same too! Holy shit, I need to record this,” you laugh, salsa juice stained hands reaching for your phone.

“Mumpfff–stop it,” Jisung mumbles with his mouth full, swatting your phone away. He definitely does not need Felix screenshotting that and using it as blackmail. Swallowing the bite, he asks, “Isn’t your rat going to die from all that corn?”

“No? He’s only going to have a sugar rush and run on his wheel aggressively, but he won’t die. I could never let mini Han Jisung die. So cute,” you coo, trying the shove his sloppy hands away from your phone. “I won’t post it, I swear. I’ll just save it for fun.”

Jisung doesn’t know whether to be happy that you’re saving a video of him or offended at the fact you compared him to that spoiled rat. Really, Truffles is so goddamn spoiled because his cage has a balcony, a wheel, and a light like those sirens on police cars—your roommate really needs to find something else to spend her hard-earned money on. Either way, he lets you have it your way because he’s too hungry to argue with you.

“Your rat is greedy as hell.” Jisung moves his trash away from the rodent so he doesn’t begin to chew on the tin foil. If Truffles dies, Jisung knows for a fact that your roommate, Lisa, will place him on a chopping block.

“He’s not! He’s just stupid. Look, he even bit me thinking that my finger was an apple,” you mention the incident from a week ago. Your hand raises up to show him the scab on the tip of your index finger. “I think I got one whole tooth in there.”

Great. Jisung dislikes the rat even more now. He doesn’t know why you compare him with that animal; he would never bite you… at least not like that. 

You’re making some progress through your burrito bowl after Truffles gets escorted back to his cage. “I was thinking, for the project, we could either do something artsy like a video montage or a zine. That way we don’t have to pound out an entire essay and bore the old man to death,” you suggest.

“Yeah, I like the video idea more. We can even have some cool beats for the background when we voiceover.” Jisung pats his face with a napkin until he thinks most of the burrito residue is gone. “Let’s start soon. I’m probably not going to be alive next Saturday before the midterm.”

“So, the Alpha Kappa Delta Gamma Phi Nu Chi Omegas party hard. Is that why you wanted to do the project with me? You know I’ll send Truffles to bite your head off if you make me do all the work, right?” you threaten him playfully. You don’t see Jisung as a douche, but hey, it’s a dog-eat-dog (well, hamster-eat-hamster in this case) world when it comes to group projects.

“Y/N,” he holds his hands up as if you had him at gunpoint, “We’ve worked on projects before and not once have I flaked on you.” Hostility aside, how do you even remember the Greek alphabet in that specific order? It’s a terrible frat name.

You shrug, letting him off the hook and pulling out your laptop from its case. “Fine. But speaking of cool beats,” you quickly open your SoundCloud tab and click into a page, “do you know J.ONE?”

Jisung’s eyes nearly jump right out and roll onto the carpet when he hears his SoundCloud name come out of your mouth. His chest constricts and expands all the quickly like all the blood’s pumping towards it, makes him feel a little light-headed. “Um, I think so? Like that one song with a piano beat in the background and something about seeing,” he says hesitantly, feeling his throat bop.

“It’s called I See, you loser. His rap, you know, it’s so soft and nice to listen to. Sometimes, I listen to his lyrics at night, and wow, this person gets me so well. Like he’s actually with me and reminding me that I’m not the only one who goes through shit in life,” you beam, eyes bright. “He’s just so loud, so not afraid to face everything that’s out there.”

That’s not true. J.ONE is actually terrified of commitment and exploring love and snakes.

“Do you think he actually goes to our school like everyone says?” He manages to squeak out, eyes glued to your half-empty burrito bowl.

“Maybe? I wouldn’t be surprised though. We have so many music majors in our school.”

Jisung’s curiosity takes over. It’s not every day someone mentions J.ONE in front of him, other than his roommates and a few Alpha Kappa… whatever. “What if he’s someone you already know?” he asks. “What would you do if he were like, your friend or something?”

That thought has never once crossed your mind. There’s no way J.ONE is among your friend group… he seems way too cool, and not to mention, out of your league. You let out a large exhale, then quietly, “I don’t know? Date me.” 

Jisung almost gets whiplash from your unguarded response; truth be told, he almost considers it. The smile on his face? Otherworldly. The stars would be envious of him.

“Okay, enough of my fangirling. We need to start on this and finish before you’re batshit drunk next week,” you tell Jisung, rummaging through your backpack for the project guidelines. “It’s somewhere in here.”

Jisung feels like he has to forcibly remove his head from the clouds and focus. He can’t have you thinking that he’s just a frat kid with an airhead. “And I’ll look for some free beats we can use?”

“Cool,” you say with a smile.

Guess it’s time to test out that new software Chan installed for him.

four.

The next morning, Felix is the first one to say anything to Jisung. He swings his legs out of bed, showing off his fuzzy Hello Kitty pajama pants with a gnarly bedhead that can house a bird family, and squints tiredly at Jisung’s bright lamp. “Dude, you don’t have class on Fridays. Why the hell are you up at ten?” he asks hazily, voice extra deep and thick from sleep.

Jisung looks up from his laptop and turns around on his spinny chair. “I’m doing a project,” he tells his roommate.

Felix thinks his friend is on something. Maybe Adderall or five Monster drinks. He might have a crash later on. “But you never work on homework in the morning. You sleep like you’re dead. I thought you died last week until I heard you snore,” he asserts. “What exactly did you do last night?”

“Not me. Y/N! She knows about J.ONE!” Even Jisung can’t quite wrap his head around it. The fact that you actually listen to his music and like his music makes him feel like he can board a spaceship and travel the universe all in the span of his lifetime. Not that he would ever, but that’s just how absurd everything is to him.

“So she knows that you’re J.ONE?”

“No. But she likes J.ONE and his songs. She even asked me, well, J.ONE to date her,” Jisung chirps and does a few more spins on his chair. 

Felix thinks its way too early for this bullshit and feels nauseous at the sight of Jisung spinning like he’s a fucking merry-go-round. This is worst than Hyunjin’s cheesy old rom coms. “That still doesn’t explain to me why you’re doing homework,” he says nonchalantly. 

“Because,” Jisung pulls up the most recent track he’s been working on and shows his friend, “we’re doing a video edit for Kim’s advertising class, and I need to find background music. But why dig for cheap elevator music when I can just make my own.”

“So you’re not telling her that you’re J.ONE,” he deduces. Felix is thoroughly confused at this rate; he should start getting ready for his class at eleven.

“Maybe after I show her the beats and tell her that I made them, she’ll find out that I���m J.ONE. And if not, I guess I’ll just keep hinting and writing songs until she figures it out,” Jisung says with the passion of a dying actor on stage.

His roommate sort of regrets waking up. Maybe he should skip class entirely and crawl back into bed, then wake up a few hours later and convince himself that this is only just a nightmare. Chances are, Jisung will still be clicking his mouse on his desk. Ugh, Felix feels like he’s in that one horror movie where the protagonist wakes up to the same day over and over again. “Why not just tell her now?” Felix decides to ask one more time.

“No.” Jisung looks as if Felix had just offended him. Like he’s just insulted his fashion sense or something (which is great, by the way). “She already likes J.ONE because he’s that mysterious online persona who makes songs that are right up her alley. She doesn’t like Jisung yet. I want her to like me for me and not me for the alternative me. Do you get me?”

Yeah, no way. Felix is skipping class at this rate. Seungmin’s already showering in the other restroom, obviously getting ready for class, so he’ll just ask him for notes later on. He leans against his bed frame, stares wearily at his friend, and says, “What if she’s so caught up with the fact that J.ONE is attending school with us and falling in love with him instead of noticing you?”

“I am J.ONE!” 

“You literally just said you didn’t want her falling for the alternative you!” Felix says in exasperation and falls back onto his Minecraft blankets.

Jisung’s not quite sure how that works either, but Felix is making him think too much at ten in the morning; he almost considers going back to bed. “Well, she already likes J.ONE. I just need her to see Jisung in a different light as well. I’m already halfway there, right?”

“Whatever floats your boat,” Felix says, pulling his blanket right over his head, texts Seungmin on his phone, and falls right back asleep.

Jisung runs a hand through his hair before his eyes focus back onto his laptop. There’s no way he’s telling you that he’s J.ONE, the SoundCloud rapper you’ve been obsessing over for the past several months. What if you like him just because he makes good music and not because he’s Han Jisung, the average college kid who likes to party, drink coffee, and spend time with you?

Then, Hyunjin stumbles into Jisung’s room with his stupid gray hoodie he wears every single damn day, the hood and drawstring dumbly taut against his head; it makes him look like a character from South Park. “Chan says he wants to DJ some of your songs at the party next Friday. Can you come up with a setlist for him? Throw some of SPEARB’s songs in there too. I need some hard rap at the party,” he asks, strolling in and collapsing on Jisung’s bed.

“Hyunjin… do you like J.ONE’s music?” Jisung asks, staring at his friend’s sullen figure. He’s probably regretting the instant ramen he downed last night, puffy face and all. Always so vain. “Do you think that he’s cool?”

“Okay, why are you speaking in third person?” Hyunjin peeks his head out from beneath his hoodie, looks like a groundhog of some sort.

Felix groans as if to say “not this shit again”—it turns out he’s not asleep after all. 

“Do you think that J.ONE is much cooler than Jisung?”

“You guys are literally the same person, but I guess having that anonymous online rapper thing is pretty hot. But J.ONE is slightly cooler than Jisung because at least he doesn’t talk as much online as he does in person,” Hyunjin divulges, and then, a knowing smile crosses his face. “You know, if J.ONE performs at the party, all the girls will come rushing in.”

Jisung scoffs a little too loudly at this. “No. I don’t want Y/N to find out yet. I want her to fall for Jisung and then find out about J.ONE, not the other way around. I don’t want her to confuse her feelings for liking me when really, she likes the alternative me,” he trails off, eyes staring at the carpet.

“Do you fucking hear him, Lix?” Hyunjin asks despite hearing exactly what Jisung is telling him. “Do you hear how insane he sounds right now?”

“Yeah,” Felix removes the blankets from over his head, “Unfortunately.”

“She’ll like you for you. She’s not the type of person to go after talent or fame, so I don’t know why you have such a long stick up your ass.”

Jisung frowns particularly at the way Hyunjin ends his statement, otherwise, it’s pretty solid advice. He’s already somewhat in your heart, so he just needs you to realize that he’s been J.ONE all along. The same guy writing lyrics in the dark bedroom of his shared apartment with a cup of instant coffee by his side. The same guy who always ends up coming late to class and you having to save a good seat for him away from the vents blasting hot air. The same guy who asks to be your project partner in every single comms class simply because he can’t stand the fact that Jaemin, from the other frat, has his radar on you.

Apparently, Jaemin is also a dancer on top of being a med student aiming for grad school. Kind of hot, if he’s being completely honest. But Han Jisung could care less—you’ve already expressed your liking towards J.ONE.

five.

When you wake up from your much-needed nap after your long, PowerPoint heavy internship meeting, you hear Lisa sighing as she opens her mail packages rather aggressively with her car keys.

“It’s nice to see you too?” you say groggily, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “I see you did more shopping. So much for being hashtag broke.”

“It makes me feel better… remember that lady who rear-ended me on the freeway?” Lisa asks, momentarily pausing her package massacre.

“Yes?”

She groans into her pillow and smooths it out a millisecond later; you are a little concerned. “So I needed my bumper fixed, right? And my dad offers to take it back home to fix, which is great because everything costs less when you’re not near a fucking university. Another way the government leeches off college students, by the way. But what he didn’t tell me was… I’ll be left with my old car for at least a week. At least!” She complains like it’s the end of the world.

At least she has a car, unlike you. Not that you’d want to drive in this hellhole where everyone’s either constantly late, angry, or sleep-deprived. The intersections all scream “car accident” in capital letters. “What’s wrong with your old car?” you dare to ask.

“It’s a 1999 Honda Accord, Y/N. It’s, like, almost as old as me, bird shit green, and on top of that, the paint looks like it’s melting off like the Wicked Witch of the West!” Lisa says it like it's the most detrimental thing she’s ever encountered. Clearly, she hasn’t seen your grades.

“It can’t possibly be that bad.”

“Oh, it is! The piece of junk still uses cassettes! How often have you been in a car that still uses cassettes? And… and one time, I was driving to the market, and the hood starting smoking and emitting steam. I swore I was going to die,” she tells you, squinting as she leans in.

Your eyes widen significantly. “So how did you drive home then?”

“Slowly, with my emergency blinkers on, and God by my side. That’s how. You’ll see what a monstrosity this piece of junk is. The crappiest car in the whole parking structure. Woojin saw it when I drove his ass to school this morning and told me not to lock up my car because no one is going to want to steal from it. I’m so hurt!”

“Wow, you seriously downgraded from your Jeep Cherokee,” you chuckle, using a fat whale pillow to support your head. “It’s only seven days, Lisa.”

“I miss my sexy black Jeep. It’s such a mom car, but she’s spacious and cute. And the worst part is, we’ll have to go to Woojin’s stupid frat party looking like we’ve escaped a crime scene from the 1990s,” she adds and resumes to relieve her pent up anger on the poor packages.

Wait… we’ll? As in we will? Why is this plural? 

“What do you mean? I’m not going to the frat party with you. I have a midterm on Monday and a project to work on,” you say, trying to convince her otherwise. You’re definitely not the type to overdrink at parties… but you’re also not the type to under-drink as well. If you go, your project grade is hanging by a thread, you feel it.

Lisa rips open her package and unboxes the Versace perfume she swears by. Oh, her wallet is crying, you hear it. “You said you would go to a party with me! No backsies remember?” She reminds you about the other night where you drunkenly swore to attend a party with her, an empty bottle of Bacardi by your side.

“I was drunk the other night! You can’t take advantage of me like that! This just shows that I most definitely cannot get drunk again and bomb my midterm because of you and a stupid hangover.”

“That’s what Saturday is for, my dude. You can study and work with Han all day on Sunday if you want,” she smiles like a broken porcelain doll and wiggles her eyebrows, “I know you want to.” 

It’s terrifying, really.

“I do not want to,” you indicate with burning cheeks. “He’s going to be wasted, so I’ll be the bigger person and make sure we don’t fail the project or bomb the accumulated midterm.”

Lisa throws the abundance of bubble wrap at you; that’s not very sustainable of Sephora to use that much plastic. “You’re not letting me drive alone in that nasty old car. You’re coming with me, and that’s final.” She sees that you’re not 100% convinced yet and continues, “C’mon, Y/N! I know you’re going to have a great time there. Chan even told me he was going to mix a few of J.ONE’s songs during his set. You like him, right?”

“Sure. But that doesn’t change the fact that my midterm is on Monday–wait, I got a text from someone,” you interrupt yourself when your phone buzzes.

(2:15 PM)

han: check ur email, I sent u the beats for our project

han: tell me if you like them 

you: that was fast wow, okay I’ll listen in 5 mins

you: lisa is being annoying rn

han: and lisa said ur coming to the party :)

You look up from your phone and turn to glare at your roommate. “You did what? You told Jisung I was attending the party! Why?” you bark, throwing a pillow over your face.

“Because, you know…”

“No! I don’t know. That’s why I’m fucking asking you! Why did you tell Han Jisung I was going to his frat party?” you demand further. “Ugh, I don’t want to drink when he’s there.”

Lisa merely rolls her eyes. “Why not? He’s just Jisung. You’ve known him since freshman year of college, and name one time he has treated you badly. Tell me, and I will skin him alive,” she indicates, hands already reaching towards her car keys, the same ones she murdered the Sephora packaging with. You are very concerned.

“God, Lisa, it’s not that.” You pout with your nose scrunched up, not looking at Lisa, but she’s looking at you.

“Chill, Y/N, I know you like him. It’d be weird if I didn’t know considering we’ve been roommates for two years now,” she claims nonchalantly, calmly checking her nails to boost her ego even more. Like she’s the all-knowing god of young love and whatnot.

You want to facepalm at this rate. “If you know, then why are you making me go to this party? I’ll really do something stupid when I’m drunk! I might–I don’t know–kiss him or something!” It’s a real shame how red your cheeks are right now, almost matches the shade on Lisa’s firetruck nails.

“Wow, that’s pretty hot. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

A deranged voice escapes your throat, sounds like a cross between a dying horse and a choking lizard. “It’s not hot when I’m intoxicated and doing dumb shit that will gross Jisung out,” you say, shivering at the thought of drunk kissing your crush.

“Okay, but now you have to go. He’s expecting you to slow jam to one of J.ONE’s songs with him,” Lisa says, her head motioning you to the unanswered text on your phone. You’ve already seen it, and he’s seen that you’ve seen it; you can’t just not answer—though tempting.

Sighing, you text back:

(2:17 PM)

you: I’m so gonna regret this on saturday

han: if it makes u feel better, the project is half done

you: I hate u and lisa

han: no, you love me 

you: what abt lisa lmao

han: that’s not my problem

Lisa breaks into a fit of giggles as she slowly finishes up her vigorous unboxing. “If it’s any consolation, you’ll have a ride there,” she tells you, shit-eating grin radiant and dashing.

“How wonderful, Lisa. We can both look like dumbasses as we exit your beaten old carriage,” you snap back. You’re sure her car is uglier in the flesh.

“God, I know! Stop reminding me about that piece of shit. It even has a stick shift! A stick!”

“Well… I’m sure you have plenty of experience.”

Your roommate’s mouth drops open and shuts, obviously floored by your timely comeback. And it feels fucking great after she practically forced you to an Alpha Kappa Delta Gamma Phi Nu Chi Omega party during midterms week. 

That’s not really Jisung’s frat’s name, but close enough. They all sound the same anyway.

six.

Jisung is big confusion because your response to his beats was quite... subpar? 

Well, you responded with “omfg these are so cool !!! we can definitely use this as the BGM”. He thinks it’s nice and all, but where’s the big revelation? Where’s the “hey, this sounds so familiar”? Or the “um… are you sure you made these beats”? Either way, Jisung is sitting on his bed on a Tuesday evening and drowning his sorrows in Seungmin’s leftover kimchi stew and microwavable popcorn he found in the cupboards. Tastes stale. Just like his nonexistent love life.

“What are you watching?” Felix climbs onto his bed to look over at his laptop. Conveniently, the bowl of popcorn is right there, so he grabs a handful while he’s at it. “Dude, this needs butter,” he scowls at the staleness. Yeah, Jisung knows.

“Lucifer,” he says but his heart’s not in it. The demon sidekick chick is really hot, but he can’t even seem to focus on her when his mind is on you and J.ONE. He’s so jealous of that bastard. “Felix, is J.ONE really that different from Jisung?”

Felix takes a deep breath and looks at him like Jisung’s telling him about how the Earth is flat and not spherical. “Do you hear yourself right now? Of course she’s not going to find out about you being J.ONE from just one BGM track… and it’s not like you’re rapping or singing in it either. There are, like, thousands of music majors on campus. It’s not that surprising you know how to work mixes. I can even make beats if I wanted to,” he tells him. Felix wouldn’t though, he’s too busy sleeping and coding for this one dating app; he feels his hair turning white and not because he bleached it or anything. 

“What if she never finds out?”

“It’s not like she can date J.ONE without dating you. Why the fuck are you so pressed about this?”

Jisung shrugs, guess he’s just impatient, tired, and bored all at the same time. “So, I recorded a song today when you were washing your hair,” he begins, pausing the episode on Netflix, “and it’s not like anything I’ve written before.”

His roommate shoves his shoulder and smiles like Garfield when his owner buys him lasagna. “Aw, you finally confessed your love for your roommates–who are all eligible bachelors by the way. Make sure your fangirls know that. Use my number as the title too. I give you my permission and full consent,” Felix says pointedly. It’s not like girls don’t already throw themselves at him during parties.

“Tempting, but no,” Jisung dismisses curtly. “It’s… more sentimental? And it has more instrumentals too. Do you think Y/N will like it?”

“Gross. Did you deadass write a love song for her?”

Oh, so there goes his pride too. “I said it was sentimental, not a love song, you ass,” he defends weakly. Jisung’s strong face truly is terrible, needs some serious help.

“It’s literally titled ‘autumn nights'. Do you know how disgustingly sappy that is? Nighttime is for love, Han. It’s perfect for spending time with each other, having those deep talks about space, getting a little freaky underneath the sheets–” And Jisung thinks he’s heard enough from Felix today. “My point is, you’re so fucking whipped for her,” he finishes as he pops another kernel in his mouth.

“I did not ask for that lecture, Professor Love,” Jisung says, a little nervous to as why Felix would assume that it’s a love song. Okay, maybe it is a love song. Just a little… maybe half a love song. “I asked, do you think Y/N will like it? Because what if she doesn’t? Maybe I should drop a Kendrick style rap or something.”

Felix clicks his tongue; he thinks his roommate could use a chill pill… or maybe some really good tacos to calm his ass. With an extra spritz of lime and salsa on the side. He’s going to text Hyunjin to bring home tacos after practice. It’s totally for Jisung’s well being and not to satisfy his personal cravings. “Well, there’s only one way to find out. Ask her during the party,” he mentions casually, obviously sidetracked. He might get six tacos, all carne asada. 

“You’re literally no help.” Jisung sees Felix on Yelp as he searches up some taco stall near Hyunjin’s dance studio. “Wait, um, get me four adobada tacos with no onions. I’ll Venmo you later.”

See, proves Felix’s point. “I don’t even get paid for being your free therapist. It’s time you appreciate me and write a song about how much you love me.”

“No, that’s going to give Y/N the wrong idea,” Jisung says defensively. “I am not in love with you. I am in love with her–I mean–like. I just like her. Not you.” Okay, he hears the “whipped” part now. He sees Felix sigh and roll his eyes over the moon. Jisung’s so antsy for the party, especially since CB97 is including some of his tracks into the mix… definitely this new one for the slower segments.

In fact, he is stressed to the brink of wanting to spill the beans to you, but he knows he won’t. However, stress or no stress, he never turns down Taco Tuesday.

seven.

Lisa does not like to parallel park, so by the process of elimination, she makes you do it. Which is a terrible move because 1) you don’t know how to work a stick shift, 2) you simply hate knowing that her crusty car’s engine almost blew up once, 3) she’s standing on the sidewalk with her stiletto heels and making a scene by frantically waving her hands and screaming like a skimpy police officer (which definitely causes a scene), and 4) Woojin is standing there laughing too much for your liking in addition to making you and Ugly Car the highlight of his Instagram story. 

Great. Jisung is going to see how ridiculous you look.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Lisa says when you toss the keys in her direction, catching her Gudetama lanyard in midair. She doesn’t even bother locking the car because there’s nothing valuable in there; frankly, she’ll feel happier if someone actually ran away with the car. Removes the extra baggage from her shoulders.

“Oh, easy for you to say. You’re not the one trying to parallel park between a Bently and a fucking pick up truck,” you grumble as you make your way up the steps to Woojin’s house. And like every frat party ever, there are already people making out on the porch and a pledger standing by the doors to greet you. What amazing hospitality—you made sure to wear your old Vans today.

Jeongin wiggles his eyebrows at you as soon as you step foot on the porch. “Y/N, what a surprise. I didn’t expect you to be here,” he greets and looks over to Lisa, “Bambam’s by the DJ. He says you owe him ten bucks for gas money.” He says it like its some type of drug transaction—well, Bambam does dress like the Italian mafia.

“Ugh, I’ll be back,” Lisa groans and shoves her way through the crowd that is growing larger and hotter by the night. She leaves you with Jeongin by the doorway.

“So what, am I supposed to grab you a drink now?” you muse, chuckling at the freshman who is unable to get drunk and wasted because he’s too busy monitoring everyone else.

“No alcohol. But other than that, surprise me,” the younger boy tells you. 

So you’re on your way to the bar (kitchen island) and about to make Jeongin the best Shirley Temple he’s ever had in his life when a semi-drunk Hyunjin comes over, swings his arm around you, and shoves a blue party cup in your hand. “I can’t believe you rejected my offer to having you as tech crew. It would have been so much fun!” he exclaims, referring to the application you terminated because you had just got hired for your current receptionist job.

“I know! But your boss got back to me too late. I can’t just flake on my current job after two days of working, you feel me?” Slowly, you allow yourself to let loose and take a sip of whatever concoction he had in the cup. It’s not bad… tastes pretty light like a mix of soju and Yakult, maybe some Sprite as well. You don’t know how Hyunjin’s already this woozy. Lightweight.

“You could have spent more time with Jisung if you were in tech, Y/N,” he mumbles in your ear, chuckling like a complete fool. 

Your heart races against its cavity, feels like it’s about to crash and malfunction any second. There’s also this queasy feeling in your stomach, the same feeling you get when you’re about to YOLO a job interview with your mom’s blazer on. 

“You’re delusional, Hyunjin. Jisung’s not even supposed to be there. Sober up with some water,” you insist, shoving the drink back into his hand. Is your crush on Jisung really that fucking obvious? Hwang Hyunjin, out of all people, can tell. That’s a big problem because he’s known to be dense™.

“Woojin’s guest room is upstairs to your left, just letting you know. For science,” Hyunjin giggles to himself, and then flutters off somewhere to cling on another unfortunate guest. For science probably.

Well, that’s the last time you’re talking to Hyunjin about tech crew and anything science-related. Clearly, he needs to go back to middle school and relearn everything he’s slept through.

The Alpha Kappa Delta Gamma Phi Nu Chi Omega frat is significantly different from the other frat parties you’ve attended (sorry, Jaemin). Although challenged, Hyunjin is not bad at planning parties. There’s a rented club lighting set in the corner, the wires neatly zip-tied to prevent tripping, and stick-on lights along the edges of the ceiling, changing colors every thirty seconds or so. It seems to complement the music perfectly, and he didn’t even have to hire a DJ or equipment because CB97 (aka. Chan) is part of their brotherhood. Party snacks and sandwiches are lined along the kitchen counter and the island is strictly for beverages, which is smart because you don’t have to worry about someone barfing on your ham and cheese (or shoes). Although the typical college party behavior is still evident by the number of people shotgunning in the backyard, beer ponging upstairs, and grinding in the living room, it’s not suffocating (though it smells like weed) when your equally as dumb friends are surrounding you. 

It’s like you’ve all rebelled against midterms, even if it’s just for one night. Ignorance truly is bliss sometimes.

Though, Woojin needs to label his drinks because the majority of them are clear and sparkly, so you’re not quite sure as to which is Sprite and which is champagne. You don’t want to accidentally make Jeongin drunk and screw up his whole frat initiation process, nope. 

“Definitely not Sprite,” you suck your breath in, having inhaled a waft of vodka. And then you proceed to drink it because you learn to never turn down free alcohol. Especially not after you’ve already poured it into a cup. For the next few moments, you’re rummaging through the glass and plastic bottles, but in the dim lighting, they all look the same to you; your taste buds are getting clogged up from all the alcohol sniffing and tasting.

“Need some help?” Someone says to your right, and you recognize Jisung’s voice instantly, calm against the chaos (which is Seo Changbin shouting nonsense after doing a keg stand).

You hold up two visually ambiguous bottles. “Tell me, which one is Sprite and which one is not?” you ask, eyes meeting with his large brown ones. You think it’s just the lights and the fact that you’re slightly out of it, but his eyes look cosmic, glowing with flecks of silver and gold.

Jisung looks really good tonight, and this causes your chest to swell.

eight.

Jisung is aware that you’re mildly smashed because your cheeks are a shade pinker than normal, and you’re normally not this chirpy, the balls of your feet bouncing along with the music as you hold up a bottle of tequila and some type of syrup. Woojin’s kitchen is a little too overpopulated right now with everyone reaching for Cheez-It crackers to absorb all the booze in their systems so they can down more booze later on. It’s downright a maze of sloppy and rowdy drunks, but he thinks you’re stunning among the clutter of college kids.

“Um… neither,” he says, wondering how much you drank when you were so keen on No Parties During Midterms. “Why do you need Sprite?”

“I told Jeongin I’d make a Shirley Temple for him, but I can’t find the Sprite or the syrup. This is all your fault. You never let the kid have fun because he’s pledging. Stupid fraternity infrastructure,” you tell Jisung, who is currently trying to suppress his laughter.

“What? My fault? You act as if I invented the system,” he chuckles, “Wait, let me open a new can of Sprite from the fridge.” 

Jisung picks up a can from the fridge, opens it, and hands the beverage over to you, and when your hand brushes against his, he feels his heart jump a little. “What changed your mind? I thought you were over your partying days,” he asks. 

Also, Jisung thinks that you’re pouring too much grenadine syrup and too little Sprite into the cup, but whatever, he’s not the one drinking it.

“I was! Lisa’s just annoying, and you–you’re you. And her stupid car. I’m not sure I want her driving that alone at night. It could explode,” you babble mindlessly. Even then, you’re not drunk enough to confess your feelings for Jisung. “But I guess J.ONE makes up for it tonight.”

Jisung almost faints, right there, in the dim kitchen with beer stains on the tiled floors. “What?” he asks, feeling the breath knocked right out of his lungs.

“J.ONE. Chan is DJ-ing some of his songs tonight,” you chirp happily as you make your way over to Jeongin with the finished Shirley Temple in your hand. Jisung could only follow. “And Jisung! He dropped this new song, and it’s so thematic with the whole autumn vibes? Like the transition of summer to fall and fall to winter and the way he relates it to love. It’s the best, Han. You have to listen to it!”

Giddiness is an understatement for the way he feels right now. Under the kaleidoscope of lights, you’re too beautiful, and it overwhelms him with a bizarre sense of warmth similar to the effect he gets from having one too many shots of Minho’s weird cocktails. He stares at you a moment longer as you’re busying yourself by eagerly watching Jeongin until he downs the mocktail in one go.

By the look on Jeongin’s face, Jisung thinks he might crash from a sugar rush sooner or later. But hey, at least he isn’t drunk.

“Oh my god! This is J.ONE’s song,” you giggle as you hold your hands to your mouth. Sober you could never. “He sounds hot.”

Jisung laughs a little too loudly at that, but your buzzed self doesn’t seem to notice. “How do you know? You’ve never even seen his face. He could be some balding dude in his forties for all I know,” he says, letting you drag him across the foyer and into the living room where CB97 is currently playing one of his tracks. Your fingers are wrapped around his wrist, but all he wonders is how it would feel like if he intertwined them with his.

“No, he’s not! He said he was a college kid when he replied to one of his comments. That’s how the whole rumor started… because what if he does attend our university,” you gasp silently, “What if he’s in my class? What if… he’s closeby and partying among us?”

Actually, J.ONE is a lot closer than you think. 

Like five inches apart close. Crowded in front of the DJ and his enormous speakers. In fact, Jisung is praying that you don’t look over at Chan because he’s currently giving Jisung that look. He should have hired a DJ with no affiliations to you or J.ONE because this is too risky for his heart to handle.

“So? Older people can attend college too. Stop discriminating against age… ageist,” Jisung dismisses as a smile sneakily spreads across his face.

“My God, he’s not some creepy old dude! What do you have against J.ONE?” you accuse with narrowed eyes. Then, Jisung catches you when you stagger forward a little as Lisa bumps into you purposely, a suspicious party cup in her hand.

Jisung feels a little envious at how comfortably Lisa wraps her arm around your waist and how you naturally lean your head on hers. “I call this,” she holds the drink above her head like its a damn trophy, “the Mona Lisa.”

“Which entails?” You bend over and chuckle a little, nearly falling over if it weren’t for Jisung’s hand steadying your shoulder.

“That both of you are still not drunk enough and need to try my new concoction. And I assure you that it’s better than whatever the hell Minho makes.” Lisa hands Jisung the cup and pats his shoulder before skipping back to the bar, probably to make another Mona Lisa for her other unfortunate buddies. She really is trying to get everyone wasted tonight.

Jisung sees you biting your bottom lip in confusion and decides that, fuck, he’s not drunk enough for this—maybe getting wasted was a good idea after all.

Therefore, like the dumb college student he is (because college is the only acceptable time to make dumb choices, and if not, did you really go to college?), he downs the entire deathly concoction in hopes of washing his thoughts about kissing you away. Liquor is expensive, and he’s not the type of person to let it go to waste, or so he tells himself until he decides to regurgitate it all up around five in the morning. Jisung shivers at the flashbacks to freshman year. 

Seconds later, regret hits him like a truck as he winces at the burn in his throat; he sees you staring at him with gaping eyes.

“Wow. Didn’t even bother to share the Mona Lisa with me,” you giggle as you lean your forehead on his sternum. Your head feels heavy and wobbly.

J.ONE’s voice is blaring through the stereo as Jisung’s head begins to spin a little more than before; the Mona Lisa… don’t underestimate it. “You’ve had enough drinks, Y/N,” he tells you, and isn’t at all surprised that you’re kind of a lightweight; you would have definitely collapsed after Lisa’s cocktail. “Um, do you want to go somewhere that’s less noisy?”

You pull back and huff loudly with half-lidded eyes, not wanting to leave when J.ONE’s rap is currently playing. “Wait, after this song,” you smile sleepily, and Jisung’s a little startled at how close you are before he realizes that both his hands are still on your shoulders. He watches as you lean into him, your arms coming around to hug his waist.

His latest track is playing. The party slows down, and everyone’s just drowning in soft music. Thoughts empty.

“I take it as you’re enjoying the party?” 

The corners of Jisung’s mouth twitch when you nod a little too quickly, your hair tickling the bottom of his chin. Your close your eyes, hands tighten around the sides of his hoodie, and he practically loses it when you turn molten, caving into his embrace. 

“You Alpha Beta Kappa Chi Omegas sure know how to throw a party,” you mumble quietly, melting closer to Jisung.

That’s how he knows that you’re completely gone.

nine.

When you wake up to your roommate’s rat nibbling on your fingers and running marathons across your chest, you feel like you’re trapped in a nightmare. And it doesn’t help with the fact that your brain is dehydrated and fuzzy.

“Lisa, get Truffles off my chest before I make a coin pouch out of his fur,” you whine and turn to your side. The rodent slides off and scurries away to its owner sitting on the corner of your bed.

“He’s just getting his morning exercise. Don’t be so mean.” Lisa picks up the devil rodent and looks lovingly into its beady eyes. “I’m sorry Y/N is such a grumpy butt today. She’s just a mess after what happened last night,” she expresses, and you immediately spring up. 

Bad idea. Your head is pulsing now; you read an article that if you sit up too quickly after sleeping, you could die. You don’t want to die, at least not yet.

Like the good roommate she is, Lisa hands you a glass of water and an aspirin tablet. “So, I’m guessing you don’t remember what happened last night,” she says, lips in a firm line. “Ugh, the Mona Lisa clearly wasn’t strong enough to make Han batshit drunk. Might need to ask Minho for some of his deadly recipes.”

You nearly spit out your pill. “You tried to make Han Jisung sleep with me? What kind of friend are you?” you glower. Even the rodent is thoroughly terrified at the sound of your raspy morning voice because it’s literally a CTRL C of the Scared Hamster meme.

“What the fuck? Not sleep with you–I was watching you guys the entire night, and if he tried something on you, rest assured, he’d be crying for his mom right now,” Lisa says to reassure you of her “good” intentions. “But who knew frat boys were so fucking good at drinking! My Mona Lisa didn’t even put a dent on him!”

It’s Saturday morning, way too early for this revelation. “If you’re not trying to make him sleep with me, then what the hell are you trying to do?” you elect to ask, very unimpressed.

“Confess his love for you, duh.” Lisa sounds so confident you almost believe her words. “My pride is so hurt because, one, how can you think so lowly of me? I’m your roommate, okay? I would never do that to you. And two, either Han is really good at drinking, which is a complete turn on… for you, or my drink mixing skills just suck,” she pouts sadly.

You want to kick her and her rat’s ass off your bed. “He doesn’t have any love for me! We’re friends, Lisa!”

“Considering what happened last night… yeah. Friends. Totally.” You can smell the sarcasm dripping off her words, but what exactly happened last night? You blame Jeongin indirectly. It’s his fault for making you feel bad and then making him a Shirley Temple only for you to test alcohol and then get drunk off of your stupidity. Yeah, Jeongin’s fault.

“Tell me what happened last night,” you demand. You don’t remember anything past ten o’clock, and that’s a problem because frat parties last until seven in the morning when everyone does their only little Walk of Shame. Either you’ve already done your Walk of Shame well before seven or someone brought you back home last night. You’re hoping for the latter.

Lisa picks up her hamster and strokes its back with her index finger, slow and slyly, like the evil witch in Barbie’s Rapunzel with her weasel—except Truffles is much, much dumber. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she responds with a wiggle of her dark eyebrows.

“Yes. Yes, I would. That’s why I’m asking,” you deadpan.

“You’re a sleepy drunk, did you know that?” She says with a grimace, “Normally, we’d drink in the apartment, and you’d pass out on my bed, or your bed, or the couch… and if worst comes to worst, the mat in front of the toilet. But at parties, you don’t have that luxury. So you just knock out on the closest thing next to you.”

You don’t have a good feeling about this. Reluctantly, you ask, “Which is?”

“Han Jisung.”

“Oh my fucking god.” Your voice is caught in your throat, strained. “I really did that?”

Lisa mouths a quick “duh” before she takes you on a trip down memory lane. “So, he had to carry you to my car because you insisted on walking and almost tripped over the gate. Then, I drove us back, and we had to carry you up all three floors because the elevator’s been broken for at least a week now.” She sees you opening your mouth to protest and shushes you, continues, “We’re inside, and Jisung’s trying to make you drink water for the current hangover you have now. But you’re also really stubborn when you’re drunk so you spill water all over his pants, and Seungmin nearly died of laughter when he picked him up. I offered him your Totoro onesie.”

Now you want to die.

“That’s it. I don’t think I can ever face him again. This is over.” You’re embarrassed and beyond apologetic to Jisung for being one of those inconvenient drunks who everyone despises. You bury your face in your hands and sigh in agony.

“Jisung still has your Totoro onesie though,” she comments uselessly. 

“He can keep it,” you tell her immediately. “I don’t want it back as a reminder of the most tragic night of my life. I spilled water on him. Because I was dumb and drunk and lonely!” The number of first world problems in that last declaration—you sound pathetic.

Lisa rolls her eyes because you’re being overly dramatic (like her @ Ugly Car). “On the bright side, you didn’t kiss him. But I’m pretty sure he knows that you like him… pretty sure.”

“Why? What did I say?”

“Said something about when you listen to J.ONE’s songs, you think of him or see him… I don’t know. Some drunk bullshit like that.”

You pause. “And what did he say?”

She shrugs, “He seemed fine with it. I mean, that is kind of like your version of a confession. If you’re comparing a love song to him, then it just shows that you really like him.”

“He’s in a frat, Lisa. I wonder how many girls have said that to him.” You are startled at how sad your voice sounds. The hangover hits hard. “I guess I’d rather stay his friend than to receive a rejection on the basis of my horrible behavior last night,” you add.

“Oh, I’m sure many girls have confessed their love to him,” Lisa starts, taking her hamster and stuffing it inside a clear ball. She places the rodent on the floor and lets it roam freely. “But how many has he taken care of all night? And escorted her home despite his apartment being on the other side of campus? Practically did the Walk of Shame when he called his roommate to pick him up past midnight? In her fucking Totoro onesie?”

There’s a long moment of silence as if outside, omnipotent being has picked up a TV remote and pressed pause on his DVD player. You imagine a bullet stopping midair between a detective and a criminal. A spilled glass of wine seconds from hitting a crisp white blouse. Rain, moments before kissing the asphalt.

Then, Lisa’s hand is warm on your shoulder, and the world spins again. When she speaks, you inhale deeply at how serious she’s being. Breaths faltering.

“If I’m not mistaken, I think he really likes you too.”

ten.

Jisung barges into Carpe Diem Tattoo Parlor with no intentions of getting a tattoo because his mom would disown him—if it were legal. But that’s not even the point. 

The point is: he needs to see Minho, and like the good best friend Jisung is, he always shows up unannounced. 

“Hi, I need your help,” he announces as soon as he steps foot into the parlor, a waft of lavender soap hitting his nostrils. He plants both hands on the front desk, urgently, grasping Minho’s attention. Boy, does he feel unwelcome.

“I’m an apprentice, Jisung. Do you know what happens when apprentices slack off on their job?” Minho coldly looks up from his phone. Like always, he’s not having it. “They are unpaid and fired.”

Jisung reaches into his pocket and pulls out several bills. Certainly, this would make it up to him; he’s all about that cash money. “Here, you’re paid now,” he says proudly, flaunting his wrinkled dollar bills that have probably been through three washes.

“Do I look like a fucking stripper to you?” Minho rolls his eyes and glares at the dollar bills and a single gum wrapper on the counter. “Keep your change. What do you want? You’re lucky I have no customers right now.”

“So the party last night? Lisa and I took Y/N home because she was completely out of it, and on the way back, Lisa’s driving and we’re in the backseat of her old ass car. And Y/N sort of mumbles and tells me that when she listens to J.ONE’s songs, she thinks of me and wishes she could understand and validate those feelings that his songs radiate. You know, through me,” he blurts rapidly before he learns to breathe. “What does this fucking mean, bro?”

Minho is technically not allowed to drink on the job, but he really wants to. There’s a beer in the fridge for nervous clients, but he’d totally gulp that shit. “It means that you’re wasting my time. So please, go confess your love to Y/N before she changes her mind and starts having good taste,” he deadpans.

Jisung leans across the table and puffs his cheeks in frustration. He sees his reflection in the mirror and decides that he kind of does resemble Lisa’s pet rodent. Not that he would ever admit to it in front of your face. “What should I do? Is she confusing J. ONE for me or me for J.ONE?” he asks. “I hate how my life is so complicated.

His best friend looks like he’s about to rethink being his Best Man. Imagine the wedding… so stressful. Jisung would probably spend an entire week deciding on the wedding cake flavors alone, and that should be the least of his worries. “Shut the fuck up about the whole J.ONE thing. You’re too far caught up on that because I don’t think she knows or cares that you’re J.ONE. Have you ever considered that she might just like you because you’re you?” Apparently, Minho gives really good advice when he’s fed up with Jisung’s nonsense; that’s why they match so well. “Which is surprising because you’re… ugh,” he continues, making a disgusted face at him.

“I don’t know. Han Jisung is just any frat boy to her,” Jisung voices sadly, fingers picking at the edge of the counter. “J.ONE’s like that cool kid with no premises for judgment. No titles. Just music.”

“Wow, you’re making that conclusion on what basis? Just because you’re in a frat makes you a douche? Sure, in high school movies fraternities are frowned upon because all we do is party, drink, and get laid. But that’s not how reality works. Woojin is studying law, Chan is interning at a music production company, and Changbin will be studying abroad in Italy over summer. We all have aspirations, bro, can’t just be tied down to the bubble of a stereotypical frat boy that society sets for us. Can’t just let that undermine the values we have.”

Jisung smiles. No wonder Minho is his best friend. 

“Your music speaks loud to Y/N, and if she’s able to correlate Han Jisung to J.ONE’s songs, it shows that you’re equally as cool as that SoundCloud rapper,” he finishes, shrugs like its no big deal. Jisung wants him to write it down and keep it until the toast segment of his future wedding.

He thinks his mind is clearer now. “You’re right. I need to stop separating J.ONE and Jisung. Because we’re the same fucking person,” Jisung says as he takes a shallow breath, “I think I’m finally ready to tell her.”

“That you’re the SoundCloud rapper?”

“No. That I like her,” he answers, slowly. “I’ll tell her I’m J.ONE in a different way.”

Minho’s face looks so acrimonious right now that Jisung wants to snap a picture of it and make it a meme in the Alpha Kappa group chat. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to tell her when you’re about to get laid. That’s not the way to do it.”

“What? No!” Jisung shakes his head and wonders what goes on in his best friend’s brain. “I’ll tell her–wait, you know what? I need to go back and work on something. I’ll see you later, okay? Don’t miss me too much.”

“I’ll try not to,” Minho says soullessly, finding sudden interest in the calming French music that is playing in the shop. He doesn’t even speak French.

On Jisung’s way out, he receives a text from you:

(3:56 PM)

you: hey, can we meet tomorrow?

han: sure, where?

you: behind the dining hall where the stupid stone sculptures and pond are

han: how specific

(3:57 PM)

you: I just need to tell you something

He stares dumbly at his phone outside the tattoo parlor (Minho’s is probably SnapChatting his streaks from the inside and captioning it “fucking loser” because he has nothing better to do anyway) and ponders on what to reply next. He could totally say something cheeky like “I’m all ears and all yours”. 

But in the end, Jisung leaves it at that and walks down the sidewalk with a lingering smile.

eleven.

“Did you know we opened a new bar on campus? Like after finals you can drink beer. Only if you want to, of course. Not me though. I’m underage. But it’s so ideal for you old grad students who do nothing but TA and stress over your theses. So, how’s your day been?”

“Yeah… how nervous are you right now?” Woojin asks, wondering why he even agreed to walk Jisung to the campus dining hall. It’s not like he even had a choice because he was conveniently on campus—he’s always on campus nowadays. His students only go to his office hours for one of three reasons: assignments, midterms, and finals. Woojin doesn’t even have time to fuck around and play his guitar anymore.

Jisung takes a deep breath and holds a hand to his chest. Truth be told, he sort of wants to call it off and postpone it to another day, but he’s not an asshole who would raincheck the girl he likes. No, not if she’s waiting for him on the other side of the dining hall. By the trees with leaves rusted in shades of yellow, orange, and red. By the shallow pond with an artificial Stonehenge planted in the center, constructed purely for aesthetics in favor of Chancellor Kim. It’s one of those odd campus architectures (like, why). Jisung thinks it’s weird, but it’s a great trademark, perfect for marketing and slapping on stickers and hoodies for those broke kids at orientation. 

“Not at all. What’s up?” he answers hurriedly.

“Y/N isn’t going to bite your head off. I don’t know why you’re so jumpy,” Woojin says when he walks into the dining hall. Soy sauce chicken is on the menu today, and he’s here to have a good time, not babysit Han Jisung when he’s freaking out more than usual. “Okay, this is me. Go out back and get your girl.”

“Hey buddy, let’s have lunch first,” he tells the older boy, hand reaching for his sleeve, but Woojin frowns.

He looks at Jisung disapprovingly. “Are you really going to keep Y/N waiting out there? For all I know, that Jaemin kid can swing by and ask her to grab a coffee or–”

They say college changes people, and Jisung doesn’t even think twice before he says, “Bye, Woojin. Enjoy your lunch before kids come to pester you.” He gives him one of those bro pats and saunters straight towards the back entrance, determined to get to you before Na Jaemin does. Like he said, that dude has his radar on you.

Woojin smiles triumphantly. It’s that one saying: kill two birds with one stone; he can enjoy lunch and sneak pictures of Han Jisung’s first confession and send it to the group chat. It shouldn’t be too hard, since Chancellor Kim is all about aesthetic and encompasses the dining hall with plexiglass windows. He’s ready for a good meal and free entertainment.

On the steps, Jisung sees you standing in front of Pond ft. Stonehenge™ and decides that the outlandish place looks especially beautiful today. Like the aesthetics have gone through the Gates of Heaven, went through a rite of divinity, and came back for him to admire. 

Celestial. 

Jisung walks past classmates sharing sandwiches on the grass, couples studying on picnic blankets, and a few people napping on the hammocks by the pond. Between the golden branches, he sees your anxious figure, all shifting stances and constant phone-checking, and feels a little bad for making you wait that long. With his hands stuffed into the pockets of his windbreaker (which does little in preventing the chills from coursing through his body), he takes tentative steps toward you.

Thankfully, you seem to be hyper-aware of your surroundings and turn around before Jisung begins to stress over what to say. “Hey, you came,” you mention, flaring radiance. He thinks that if the sun decided to explode today, you’d still outshine it.

“Yeah, of course,” he begins, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Do you feel better today? You know, the hangover and all.”

A light blush coats your cheeks; Jisung thinks you look lovely. “I’m so freaking sorry for spilling water on you and relying on you like one of those annoying drunks,” you wince at your own actions, “I really am, Jisung. Lisa told me everything, and I feel like shit for dragging you down with me like that. You should have just left me there. That way one of us can have a good time.”

“You didn’t have a good time at the party?” Jisung is perplexed as he tries to coax a response from your flustered self.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! I had a great time–just not after, because hangover–fucked me up. What I meant was… you could have had a better time if you weren’t stuck with clean-up duty,” you say, raising a finger above your head to point sheepishly at yourself.

“Pft, that was nothing. You weren’t a burden or anything,” he starts off, “Plus, I’m glad you had a better time at one of our parties than at one of Jaemin’s. Never liked that kid anyway.”

You laugh a little at that. “He’s the same age as you, Han. And of course I had a better time at your party. All of you really made me feel welcome, best frat on campus. And you even spent the entire night with me! Bet you got sick of me fangirling over J.ONE, huh.”

“I still think he’s some balding guy in his forties, but whatever, makes dope music I guess.” 

You look down with an unreadable expression, and Jisung watches as your fingers begin to scratch at the white polish that is already beginning to chip off your thumb. You inhale deeply, hold it, then exhale through your nose. Around the two of you, everything is silent and still. Leaves him anticipating what other symphonies are going to spill from your lips.

“Um, so I called you here to apologize to you… and to thank you. But also, do you remember what I told you in the car when I was drunk?” You stare at him with wide eyes, quietly searching his gaze.

“Well, do you remember?” Jisung exhales through his lips; he makes sure to be careful with his words because the well-being of his heart is at risk. Like he’s on a tightrope, one wrong move and he comes plummeting down.

“Yeah.” You nod slowly before telling him, “Lisa gave me a rather vivid, detailed reenactment. I’m sort of traumatized, actually.”

Jisung’s gaze skims over your features in silent contemplation. “Traumatized,” he breathes, tasting the bitterness in the word that escapes his mouth.

You purse your lips and continue. “I just wish those words didn’t have to come out of me while I was drunk,” you admit, blushing furiously at the confession. If Jisung were still on the tightrope, he might just sprint across if he weren’t afraid of heights. “But because I was drunk, I was disoriented enough to say the first thing that was on my mind. No emotional filter whatsoever. And surprise, it’s not J.ONE.”

Not exactly, but he knows what you mean.

Jisung chuckles to ease the tension, as if to distract himself from the hammering of his heart against his ribcage, the nervousness brewing in the pit of his stomach. “I was scared for a second. Thought you were going to take back everything you said because, you know, nothing should be taken seriously when you’re drunk… but I’m glad you didn’t,” he says. Jisung starts bouncing on the balls of his feet because he feels like there’s a blowtorch blowing at his face. This feels like high school promposal all over again, but he might even ditch his prom date for you—don’t tell her.

You smile at him, gently, like the ripples in the pond when autumn leaves land on its surface. “So, you remember?” you ask, biting your bottom lip nervously.

“Vividly. Not as vivid as Lisa though. The Mona Lisa still hits hard,” Jisung says, the curve of his lips soft.

There’s a sprinkle of pink on your cheeks, crossing your nose bridge and scattering across your features like stardust. “I like you, Jisung,” you say slowly, “I don’t know what it is, but I trust you not to take my heart and crush it.”

Jisung’s body shivers, and his hand reaches across space for yours; when they meet, his fingers instinctively thread themselves through yours. He’s been wanting to do that since day one.

“I like–wait!” His eyes round alarmingly. “I need to do something first! Okay, just go home and wait until… um five? And then check your phone!”

“Wait, why?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“Trust me, Y/N. You trust me, right?” His hand is still holding tightly onto yours, reassuring you nonverbally.

“Yeah, but you can’t just–”

Jisung doesn’t blame you for wanting answers (you’re also cute when you’re confused), but regardless, you will have to wait until 5 PM. “Trust me, please. Just check your phone at five, and I promise you that you won’t regret it.”

When you hesitantly give him the nod of approval, Jisung’s eyes become soft crescents. Wordlessly, he gives your hand a final reassuring squeeze before turns to runs towards the 325 bus stop. His mind races a mile a minute.

twelve.

4:45 PM and you’re dangling upside down on your bed.

Waiting is extremely excruciating when 1) you’re in the doctor’s office and about to shit yourself because you haven’t been a healthy queen, 2) you’re about to take a final that will literally make or break you, and 3) your crush doesn’t give you a proper answer and runs off during the middle of your genuine confession. 

So yes, you have every right stress over this.

On the bright side, Lisa’s abstract tapestry looks much better upside down than it does right-side-up—you don’t know what Minho was thinking when he got that for her birthday. Then again, no one really knows what goes on inside his mind. Genius.

You hear Lisa open the door followed by a hushed yelp when she sees you. “Fucking hell. I thought you died, and I walked into one of those satanic ritual crime scenes or something,” she says before dumping her belongings on her bed. “What happened to you?”

“I confessed to him,” you say, words echoing through your skull. You’re starting to feel lightheaded from being upside down for so long.

“That’s great!” Lisa takes off her Airpods and belly flops onto her bed. “Why are you still here and not hanging out with him?”

“Because he technically didn’t say it back and told me to wait until 5 PM… which is 11 minutes from now.” You sit up a little too quickly to check your phone, and the blood rushing away from your brain causes a peculiar numbing sensation. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Lisa chuckles into her pillows, turns her head, and mumbles, “You know Jisung. He’s always fucking weird like that. I wouldn’t be worried if I were you. He’s so loopy in love with you that it makes me want to barf up breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

You cross your arms. “You don’t even have three meals a day,” you feel the need to point out, “And he is not ‘loopy in love’ with me! Whatever the fuck that means.”

“It means, Y/N, that you shouldn’t even be worried right now because I know he’s not going to disappoint you. Jisung cares about you too much to hurt you,” Lisa tells you like the good friend she is, disregarding the fact that she totally spiked your crush’s drink. “Plus, if he ever did, he knows his head is on the chopping block.” 

It’s true. Jisung knows better than to mess with Lisa’s roommate.

“You can’t threaten him into liking me,” you scold her justifiably. 

“Trust me. He’s doing it all himself.” She rolls onto her backside and stares up at the ceiling. “Once it hits 5 PM, you’ll have your answer. Then, you’re gonna know what ‘loopy in love’ actually feels like.”

You let out a breathless laugh, doubts on the tip of your tongue. “Or he’s spending time writing a rejection letter because he’s terrible at confrontation like the epitome of a Virgo he is. Like ‘Dear Y/N, we are sorry to inform you that you have been rejected from the life of Han Jisung’. So tragic,” you mope with a frown.

“Bitch, what is he? Harvard?” Lisa must find you ridiculous at this rate. 

“No, but it must hurt just as much if you got rejected from Harvard.”

“Not really. Because if you don’t apply, you won’t get rejected,” Lisa simpers playfully at her own misery, using an index finger to mimic a teardrop rolling down her cheek. “My point is, you’re overthinking it because Jisung would probably name a star after you if he saved up enough cash to buy one.”

“There are stars that are not massive enough to explode beautifully like supernovas. Instead, these stars take their last breath by disintegrating into embers that scatter throughout the cosmos, leaving traces behind for eons,” you say, “I’d name that star after him.”

It’s not some surprising revelation that you’re sort of in love with Jisung. The feeling’s always been there, floating noiselessly in the expanse of your heart, until it decides to bloom and intertwine with the blood vessels, burst through the septum, and spreads through the arteries. And slowly, every inch of your being is consumed by this blossom that is heart-shaped for Han Jisung. Therefore, it’s a no brainer that, if you ever purchased a star, you’d name it after him. Because he is the stardust that spans over the entirety of your universe.

“Okay, you space nerd,” Lisa dismisses with a slightly grossed out face. 

“I’m not sappy, it’s just that–”

5 PM and you’re rudely interrupted by an obnoxious buzz of your phone. In the midst of random Twitter notifications, direct messages, and Postmates promo codes, you see “New track from J.ONE” from “5 seconds ago · SoundCloud” titled “i like u 2”. 

With shaking hands, you jam your earphones into the phone port and untangle them before pressing on the notification carefully, your eyes staring daggers at your mobile. It starts playing, and you watch as the sound waves begin to fluctuate against the track’s background, which happens to be an oddly familiar picture of what looks like the sunset taken from the rooftop of your apartment. Violets against the burning sky.

For the first time, the intro starts with J.ONE’s speaking voice instead of an instrumental solo, and you gasp; you know that voice by heart. Slowly, the first verse bleeds in with the beginning chords of the song. Then, he’s singing through the pre-chorus, chorus, bridge, and by the time he finishes spilling his heart out, you feel dizzy. Like you’ve been running on pages of a book. Pages and pages. All dedicated to you as if you’re the only person that exists in this solitary world.

The connection is mind-blowingly stellar. 

How can two stars, made of burning, not feel each other’s warmth despite being so close to one another? Or maybe, actually, they’ve been the same star all along, and your mind's just too cloudy to see it.

When you fully register the lyrics, you realize that maybe, deep down, you’ve always known. From the way he writes, the passion he ignites, the emotions he encapsulates, J.ONE has always been Jisung. It’s always been him from the start—you just never had the courage to admit to it. Even before you started listening to J.ONE, it’s been him because J.ONE was only a fabrication, an outlet for him to tell you everything and anything he wanted to say. It enables him to share his music with you, because it’s all about you, down to the very last note. 

“What are you smiling about?” Your roommate smirks, finding a sudden disinterest in her miseries and a sudden interest in you.

“I need to go find Jisung. Like now.” You practically leap out of bed, grabbing your phone and keys before sprinting into the foyer to slip on the first pair of accessible shoes you could find. You’re about to leave the apartment, but when you swing the door wide open, there’s Jisung standing there in all his SoundCloud rapper glory. You almost jump to the ceiling when you see him.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell me this entire time? You had me sitting there wondering what the fuck is going on and didn’t even give me a proper response earlier, and now you tell me that you’ve been J.ONE all along? Like the J.ONE. The dude I’ve been fawning over since the day I downloaded SoundCloud and discovered him on Chan’s feed, and then I fell in love with his words, his voice, and now, him! Then, suddenly, he became all too familiar and reminded me of you. It made me feel like I was going crazy because how can J.ONE be you?” You exclaim, words beginning to mesh together with how much you’re mumbling, with how shocked you are with the whole revelation.

Jisung gives you a few seconds to catch your breath before he chuckles softly. “How can you just ‘dude’ me and say you love me in the same statement?” he asks.

“I just can,” you say, “Why didn’t you tell me? You really left me thinking that J.ONE was some balding dude in his forties… you sounded so confident when you said that, and I almost believed you.”

“Maybe because I thought you would have fallen for J.ONE instead of Jisung. He’s cooler, you know,” he mumbles sheepishly, hands picking the lining of his pockets.

“You cannot be more stupid, Jisung.” You laugh a little before telling him, “I fell for Jisung before J.ONE even started producing music. Before J.ONE even existed. That’s how cool you are.”

At your words, Jisung wordlessly inches forward to close the breath of space between you two, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against him. His lips brush against yours and an inferno ignites, sending you into a state of delirium, floating softly in his nebula. And then, Jisung moves closer and you allow him to deepen the kiss, hands fisted in the front of his shirt, sighs spilling from your lips as he swallows every hitch of your breath. Jisung kisses you like he’s been through the depths of the universe and back, and you kiss him like he’s the last thing you’ll ever see.

Jisung’s about to trail soft kisses along your jaw when you break away and cut him off.

“Wait, why do you have a Victoria’s Secret bag with you?”

Jisung looks at you with his big doe eyes before he finally realizes what he’s been holding onto this entire time. “Oh, this! It’s Changbin’s.” He sees your bewildered expression and feels the need to clarify. “No. I meant it’s Changbin’s sister’s, but he brought new mics over to my room and used the bag to put them in,” he tells you frantically, mildly embarrassed.

“Why are you giving me a Victoria’s Secret bag then?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at him.

“It’s not–I only have this bag!” Giving up, Jisung pulls your out your Totoro onesie. “I needed to return this. Gives me an excuse to see you.” 

You push him away playfully, rolling your eyes at the forsaken state of your onesie. “You used hot water, didn’t you? That’s why it’s all shriveled up and shrunken.”

“I didn’t know you were supposed to wash specific things with specific temperatures? I had good intentions! Ugh, I’ll buy you a new one when I get paid.”

“Buy Y/N what when you get paid?” Lisa questions loudly, casually strolling into the living room. Her expression does a 360 turn when he sees Jisung holding a hot pink Victoria’s Secret bag. “Um, you know what? I think Truffles need some new toys to play with… I’m gonna be at the pet store. For an hour.”

“Lisa, it’s not what you think–” you start before Lisa cuts you off abruptly.

“An hour,” she whispers seductively in your ear before pushing Jisung aside and sprinting towards the elevator (conveniently fixed); you feel actual shivers go down your spine.

When Lisa’s nowhere to be seen, you turn to glare at Jisung. “This is all your fault,” you say to him.

“My fault? You’re the one who decided to make Jeongin a Shirley Temple. You’re the one who soberly decided to test alcohol. You’re the one who rejected water, spilled the entirety of it on my pants, and wondered why you have a hangover the next morning.”

“Okay? So what do you want me to do? Make it up to you?”

The glint in his eye is dangerous. “I mean… we do have an hour,” he quirks his brow and smirks, stepping into your apartment and closing the door behind him. Devilish smile.

“We do have an hour,” you nod in agreement, ignoring the sparkle in his eye. “We can use it to study for the midterm.”

“Okay, study for the midterm.”

6:15 PM and your roommate comes home to see you and Jisung sprawled messily across the carpet, laptop cracked open with one of J.ONE’s to-be-released tracks displayed on Reaper, sharing a slumber together with earbuds dangling in between. Jisung rests his head on his arm and drapes the other over your waist, hand dangling against the small of your back. Your nose is pressed against the exposed skin at the base of his neck, lightly breathing in the scent of him, your folded arms brushing against the fabric of his hoodie.

You never wanted to study anyway.

note:

hello :D I apologize for any mistakes b/c I only proofread this monster once & I hope you guys liked it despite having to wait n months for a happy han fic !!! can you tell he’s my bias wrecker lmao; thank you so much for reading this & if you enjoyed it, please hit that like/reblog button (comment on wattpad) and scream to me about it ♡ see you in the next bin anniversary fic (bin again... I know)

[navyhyuck]

assign your moots to cliche fic tropes/mini plots? sksjsksjjsjsjs i hope this makes sense and if not plz ignore lol

*cracks knuckles* let’s do this baby

@hhjs: established relationship au with hwang hyunjin himself but y’all argue about how you don’t cuddle him when he’s using that scratchy blanket his friend bought for him on his birthday two years ago and about who left the window opened on the nonexistent second floor of your apartment

@moonbeamsung: strangers to lovers au with park jisung but jisung’s the cute guy who works at the movie theater and accidently spills a drink on you bc he thinks you’re cute and makes you miss your movie trying to clean up so he buys you another ticket and y’all watch it together :’)

@danishmiilk: classmates to lovers au with huang renjun but renjun’s forced to be your tutor even though you’re flunking a class that he doesn’t even take but he doesn’t mind because he likes you though his flirting is significantly worse than your grades

@sunhyuck: best friends to lovers au with the man lee donghyuck himself but he’s the kinda guy that doesn’t want to admit his feelings because of his ridiculously large ego and ends up caving in when you threaten to throw him into a pool when he’s wearing his $1,275 valentino sweater and y’all end up making out in the backseat of his car until one of y’all’s head hits the window (rip)

@rouiyan: strangers to lovers au with lee jeno but he’s on the ice hockey team because his best friend (read: na jaemin) forced him to join to increase popularity and almost ends up whacking you in the face with his stick because of his terrible sense of balance and it somehow ends up with you two going on a mini date 

@prettyjaems: best friends to lovers au with na jaemin but jaemin is the most oblivious man on possibly the planet even though you drop hints like sweet candy and it ends up with a raunchy (i mean rated pg) game of truth or dare in order for him to realize that you aren’t just his best buddy--

@jaemallow: yet another best friends to lovers au with na jaemin but he’s your next door neighbor that sends you a text message every morning in order to ensure that 1) you’re ‘a gorgeous ray of sunshine on this fabulous day’ and 2) you’re ready to go to school without him having to drag you out of your bed and he may just kiss you if you don’t get up on time <:(

@neoskidz: strangers to lovers au with han jisung but jisung works retail (rip) at a department store that you love going to until one day you both end up locked inside (RIP) because you fell asleep one of the fitting rooms and because he has absolutely no sense of time and it may be an inconvenient situation but you can’t help but think that mr. dude at the cashier is kinda cute (p.s. he thinks you’re cute too)

@feel199x: best friends to lovers au with lee felix (felix lee? lee felix? whatever he’s cute) but felix is helping you learn how to dance and he doesn’t want to admit that you’re doing something wrong because of how concentrated you are but when you find out that he’s been letting you off the hook he finally lets it slip that he maybe perhaps is slightly in love with you even if you didn’t know how to do the jump step correctly 

@astroboy-lele: established relationship au with zhong chenle but he’s just the sweetest boyfie on the planet who always goes out of his way to make you happy though he also argues with you on who gets to pay for the extra french fries that he ordered at an amusement park the two of you went to after skipping class

@heartyyjeno: best friends to lovers au with lee jeno but jeno’s also been in love with you ever since you took the blame for him dropping his mother’s prized cactus when you were like five and he may just be planning to ask you out one day until you finally come to your senses and realize that no dude just shows up at your house five minutes after you call him about a movie you just cried over and maybe just maybe you end up dating (hint: you do)

i just realized how very oddly specific i made this but either way, i hope this is what you asked for anon!! this was fun hhhhhhhh :) <3

[skzsauce01]

Tagged by @lveletters​

5ish Works of 2020

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other awesome works.

ad.gray’s personal pick- Ruin My Life

I was kind of burnt out on writing while working on it because I had just finished a very long story (currently not posted because I keep flipping back and forth on whether to or not) and a slightly hastily done birthday fic (The Trials and Tribulations of Birthday Presents). Surprisingly, I have no reserves? about this story. I really like the lighthearted atmosphere and the friendship being showcased. Lee Know is probably my favorite member to write for because of his banter, so this story was refreshing for me to write after writing mostly descriptions. Friends to lovers is such a fun trope, and I’m surprised this was my first one.

ad.gold’s personal pick- 42nd Moon Epilogue Dark Ver. BWAHAHAHAHA no, I am not okay. I giggle creepily every time I read this. I like how nothing wrong is explicitly stated, yet everything is very, very wrong. I may or may not have taken the ending most people wanted (I think) and thought about how to twist it into something much darker. Also, can I just give a shoutout to the person who commented “ok— wow” because thank you so much, that was exactly what I was going for. <3

ad.gray’s ad.gold pick- 42nd Moon Part 12 (End)

This was my favorite chapter in all of 42nd Moon. The atmosphere is so good. The best way to describe it would be “the calm before the storm.” The descriptions and the interspersed lines that are a significant part of the story that I can’t say what they exactly are without spoiling the ending, work so well together. I think this was a perfect ending to a very dramatic story.

ad.gold’s ad.gray pick- See You I may or may not be biased because I BLOODY LOVE CHRISTMAS. But seriously, this piece takes a mythical world and makes everything feel… normal? Like she’d present an idea I’ve never heard of before, and I’d be like “oh, totally. of course that works like that.” I especially like what she did with the mistletoe. Ish kyute. (Also I relished in the idea of making her write something based off of our infamous piece, “Stolen.” We have a complicated relationship with that thing.)

Honorable mention- Even if Things Were Different We just like the line “Love is reserved only for fairy tales, and you are no princess– you’re an heiress.” I (ad.gold) also like the development of both characters and how it’s the little moments that build trust and love between two people. To me, it feels like a refreshing cup of water. Fun fact: This story was based off a blurb I wrote in my notebook that takes place afterwards about mc having tea with other rich people who were bragging about all the expensive things their husbands bought them while she only had a pair of wooden bear earrings Jisung bought for her from some commoner place, but in the end, everyone was jealous of her because he bought it with love, not cash.

Content Creator - 2020 in Review (ad.gray)

first creation and most recent creation of 2020:

first of the year: Flowers and Ink (tattoo parlor and flower shop AU with tattoo artist Changbin)

most recent: See You [Christmas spinoff of Stolen (werewolves, vampires, elves, oh my!) with Hyunjin]

one of your favorite creations from 2020: Ruin My Life (friends to lovers with Lee Know)

a creation you’re really proud of: In Fair Verona (theater AU with Han as a floor crew member) because see below 

a creation that took you forever: In Fair Verona

a creation from 2020 that received the most notes: Ruin My Life 

a creation you think deserved more notes: Cutie Pie (rich kid AU and secret admirer AU with Bang Chan)

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: SEVENTEEN! i didn’t post anything here though

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: Target Run and Done (wingman Hyunjin with Felix as the love interest)

a creation that was inspired by another one: See You (Christmas spinoff to Stolen with Hyunjin)

a favorite creation created by someone else: not a story, but LOOK HOW GORGEOUS THIS ART IS

some of your favorite content creators from the year: To be perfectly honest, I don’t read that much on Tumblr, but I want to give shoutouts to everyone part of @districtninewriters​ because those are high quality works. 

And of course, ad.gold. thanks for letting me be your editor and thanks for editing my stuff.

and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love: 

Flowers and Ink

Apologies in Advance (secret agent AU and kind-of-but-not-really enemies to lovers with Lee Know)

1000 Roses (theatre AU with stage manager Chan, not from 2020)

Content Creator - 2020 in Review (ad.gold)

first creation and most recent creation of 2020:

first of the year: Considered (Chan arranged marriage blurb)

most recent: Can You Hear Me? (Changbin police angst au. Technically written in 2020)

one of your favorite creations from 2020: 42nd Moon Epilogue Dark Ver. (skz werewolf/soulmate au)

a creation you’re really proud of: Umbrella (Changbin self-discovery? blurb based on his song, “Streetlight”)

a creation that took you forever: Normal (Hyunjin dragon au) and that awful kiss scene in 42nd Moon

a creation from 2020 that received the most notes: Even if Things Were Different (Han arranged marriage au)

a creation you think deserved more notes: nothing really, ahaha. I have ones I think deserve less, but I’ll keep those two cents to myself.

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: none! (sry) I limit myself to one fandom at a time or I’ll never touch my textbooks.

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: Umbrella

a creation that was inspired by another one: Love You to limx (Han college au) by UCB’s campus

a favorite creation created by someone else: one by @lveletters​ (Han roommate au) Busker!au Jisung by @pixielix​ (lovestruck!jisung) the recovery files -bc by @thepixelelf (brokenhearted Chan)

some of your favorite content creators from the year: @lveletters​ @mintchanniemint​ And all y’all who pop up on my feed randomly. muwah!

and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love: Squirrel and Wife (Han royal au, not a 2020 post) Aurora (Seungmin college au, not a 2020 post) Eternally Yours (Hyunjin Eternal Sunshine-based fic)

[hanniiesuckle17]

Offstage

A/n: y'all about to get on me for doing another Jisung imagine………..shut up he is my soulmate okay.💕💕💕 if I got request for other people I wouldnt do him as much😂😂 also this is probably one of the longest imagines ive ever written holy crap

Member: Han Jisung ft Bangchan, Felix, Changbin, and Seungmin

WARNINGS: Swearing (it’s me guys come on, also tumblr I put it in the warnings stop flagging my posts), Jisung being the cocky bitch he is.

Summary: The Dance Dept. and Theatre Dept. have never gotten along. It’s just the stereotype of the arts. However, the teachers are done with that and have decided to include the Dance Dept in the school’s musical this year. What happens when the Queen of the Thespians and the King of the Dancers are forced to cooperate?

Genre: fluff, comedy, romance, enemies to lovers, highschool au, theatre au

“WE’RE WHAT?” I screamed at my closest friend, Bangchan. He took a deep breath before putting his hands on my shoulders. “Y/n, it’s not the end of the world.” No. This was the end of the world.

“Chan, we aren’t seriously letting those cocky small-brained dancers into the show are we?” He nodded and placed a stack of papers on the table. “I just got the notice from Mrs.Kwon.” Fuming, I flopped down in one of the auditorium chairs. I had worked my ass off to get to the status I had in the theatre department. This was my third lead and I wasn’t about to let some dancers ruin the show I cared about.

“Think about it this way. Legally Blonde is a huge dance show. Now some of the pressure for choreography is off. I talked to this guy Felix and he said he would choreograph.” Chan was my best friend and he was graduating this year. This was his last chance to direct one of our shows before he left. If he had to compromise….then I guess I could. “How does Seungmin feel about this?” A crash was heard from the wings.

“MINHO! I NEED YOU TO NOT DROP THE $300 SET PIECE! PLEASE!”

We both flinched at Seungmin’s loud voice. “He’ll be fine……probably. He’s the Stage Manager he is used to problems popping up.”

“MINHO! I SWEAR TO GOD!”

He sighed and shifted through the papers on the director’s table. He looked stressed. This was obviously not how he wanted his show to go. “You want me to stay with you for the extra auditions?” Running a hand through his hair, he turned to me with a tired smile. “No, it’s okay. Woojin wanted to go wig shopping with you anyway. We can’t have a brunette, Elle.” Playfully he shoved me up the aisle.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah! List will be posted outside.”

My eyes bore holes into the clock on the wall. I tried to drown out the loud boys next to me. Felix and Hyunjin were part of the dance department and had too much energy in my opinion. The second the bell rang I sprinted out of my seat and raced to the auditorium. Seungmin and Woojin stood in front of the call board when I arrived.

“What’s up?” Seungmin turned to me with a look that could kill. “Why are there dancers in my show?” Shrugging I turned my eyes to the list and scanned through the names.

“Technically it’s Chan’s show-”

“IT’S MY GOD DAMN SHOW TOO!”

“Ah Fuck.”

The two boys turned to me and asked what was wrong. Without another word I pointed to a name next to the male lead spot. “Han Jisung,” Woojin read aloud. A loud laugh could be heard coming down the hall. We all turned to find Jisung, Felix, and Hyunjin strolling down the hall towards the theatre. They stopped when they saw us.

“L/n.”

“Han.”

“Tightass.”

“Douchebag.”

“You want me.”

“To jump of a cliff? Yes.”

Smirking he ran a hand through his brown hair. “See you in there.” If only real daggers ended up in his back instead of my glare. “Can he even sing? How could Bangchan give Emmett to that……asshole.” Sharing a look the two of them shrugged before opening the door of the auditorium and entering.

The house lights were on and Chan was standing at the edge of a stage with a clipboard. I took a seat in the front row next to my friends Irene and Changbin. Seungmin and Jeongin joined Chan on stage and waited for everyone to quiet down.

“Welcome guys and congratulations for making it onto the Legally Blonde cast and crew!” Everyone clapped and cheered as Chan smiled broadly. “I’m Bangchan your director. This is Seungmin, your Stage Manager. And that is Jeongin our Assistant Director. Cast if you have any problems come to me or Jeongin, and crew you can go to Seungmin.”

Chan hesitated before speaking again. “Just make sure it is a real problem before going to Seungmin. We can’t have another Little Mermaid fiasco again.” The theatre kids laughed, but an obvious silence came from the dance crew.

“Okay. Y/n once again is our amazing lead!” I smiled and waved to my friends who were cheering. “And we have a new addition to the cast! Han Jisung will be playing Emmett, and Hwang Hyunjin will be playing Warner.” I felt eyes on me and turned to find Han smirking a few rows back. Rolling my eyes, I turned back around to listen to the rest of the cast being read off. I congratulated Changbin for getting Callahan and continued half-listening to the rest of the speech.

After the welcoming speech, Chan handed out the scripts and wanted to go directly into blocking. He told us the scene number and the characters needed jumped on stage. Chan amazingly lead and directed us through starting positions for the scene while answering Felix’s many questions about choreography.

Han was polite enough. He took Chan’s coaching well and did okay for his first day. I almost forgot that he was a major dickhead for a moment. Bangchan decided to not do musical numbers on the first day but told us to go home and practice for tomorrow’s first Saturday rehearsal where we would start doing choreography and songs.

 My old car sputtered to a stop in the school parking lot. I was maybe an hour early to rehearsal, but that never hurt. I pulled my crop top down and adjusted my leggings and flannel. Reluctantly, I came ready to dance today.

On my way to the auditorium, I passed the dance and stopped when I heard a voice.

She was so close she could taste it

She’s gotta chip on her shoulder

Guess you never can tell

With little Miss Woods comma Elle

Hesitantly I entered the dance studio with my duffle on my shoulder. I was shocked to see Jisung standing in front of the mirror focused on adjusting to the high note, repeating the last few bars over and over again.

“Maybe try singing from your diaphragm.” He jumped at my voice and turned, shocked to see me leaning against the wall. “I mean, you aren’t bad. You just need a little coaching.” I threw my duffle on the ground and walked over to him. It was then I noticed something different about him. That cocky, confident, headass air he had was gone. He looked almost nervous as I came to stand in front of him.

Grabbing his wrist I placed his hand on the upper part of my stomach. “With little Miss Woods comma Elle,” His eyes widened and stared straight into mine. “See. It’s a completely different muscle.” He nodded and continued looking into my eyes.

“Now you.” Placing my hand on top of his I moved it to his own stomach above his diaphragm. “Go on. Try the last stanza.” He looked down at his stomach and took a breath of hair before looking back at me. “Guess you never can tell, with little Miss Woods comma Elle,”

“Yeah! That was great!” I didn’t seem to notice the smile that spread across my face. “Feel better doesn’t it?” He nodded, shocked at his own voice. “That’s actually really cool. Thank you.” He grabbed a water bottle near his bag and handed it to me.

“No problem. You aren’t as bad as I thought you were going to be, Han.”

“Just because I’m a dancer doesn’t mean I can’t sing.”

I shrugged and took a small sip of his water before handing it back to Jisung. “So what is this show actually about?” I laughed and took his script which was sticking out of his bag. Surprisingly it was marked up with notes, and question marks, and highlighted to all hell. “So there is this girl, Elle, that’s me. And after a terrible breakup with her boyfriend, Warner, ‘Hyunjin’, she decides to follow him to Harvard law school so she can win him back.”

“Okay. But he broke up with her?”

“She’s not very smart.”

"Anyway, she goes and she realizes she sucks at law school. So she meets you, Emmett, who is like a Teacher's Assistant who grows a soft spot for her. He helps her study and she actually gets really good at law. So the whole story is about overcoming adversity and stereotype and self-worth and strength. And Elle actually ends up telling Warner off and ends up with Emmett."

Jisung nods along and listens intently the whole time I speak. "This must be your favorite show if you know so much about it." I shook my head and sat down against the mirror. To my surprise, Han sat in front of me. “No. My favorite show is a little more morbid than this.” He scoffed and took a swig of water.

“Aren’t musicals like all happy and we love life and let’s all sing a song!”

“What is it that you think we do?”

“That.”

I sighed, seeing the stubborn personality he had start to shine through. “Listen if you are going to be in this show you have to understand that theatre is a way of expression.” He looked down at the floor. “Like...dance?” My eyes shot up to his face. “Yeah, actually. It’s not enough to just act the character’s feelings. You have to think of them as a real person and find a moment that you can connect to their feelings.”

He seemed kind of spaced and simply stared at me. “Well- um...my friend is in a show next weekend and I think it is a show you might really connect with. Would you maybe want to go? I mean, to see what theatre is actually like.” Why was I offering this to him? I didn’t care. Well, I care about the show.

“With you?”

“It could be like a bonding thing. I’d rather not hate my co-star.”

“Okay. I’ll see you next weekend.”

Looking at the time, we both scrambled to get our things and race to the theater. I couldn’t help but smile at Jisung as we both sat in the back row listening to the schedule being called out.

Nervously I twisted the ring on my right hand. Since when did I become nervous to see Jisung. It had only been a week of rehearsals, but somehow I had grown to like him. He was nice and cracked jokes with me in between scenes. Jisung had also stayed behind several times to help me with choreography.

I smoothed out the dark green dress I had chosen to wear. Was it too tight? Irene did tend to call it my ‘Ass for Days’ dress. The heels I was wearing were also starting to hurt. I stood outside the theater waiting for Jisung. The sun had just started to set and my friend Rocky sent me a text that the show was starting soon and he reserved my seats.

“Holy shit...”

Looking up I saw Jisung stop in his tracks. His eyes looked me up and down, but not in a lustful way. More like a surprised way. I couldn’t help but look at him the same way. He wore a casual fitted black suit and a white dress shirt underneath without a tie. His brown hair which was usually fluffy and tousled was now purposely parted on the side and combed through.

“Hi...”

“Hi...”

“You look grea-” “You look beautiful-”

“Sorry...”

Holy fuck. He only looks hot because he is in a suit. That’s just science. All guys are hot in suits. It’s totally not because his hair looks great and I could see how slim his waist was compared to his chest. Oh fuck. He is in suits for the entire second act. Am I going to think like this every time I see him in a suit?

“We should go in!” I said interrupting my own less than pure thoughts. He cleared his throat and nodded, closing the gap between us as I turned to go inside. I mentally scolded myself for blushing when I felt his slender fingers grazing my lower back.

Once we (mostly me) were emotionally and hormonally safe in our seats, the two of us started talking. “So L/n, what is the show called?” He turned to me with a nervous smile. It’s not cute Y/n. It’s the suit. I swear to god it’s the suit. “It’s called A Chorus Line. It is a very dance-heavy show and the actors don’t leave the stage unless it’s intermission.”He nodded and looked around the auditorium for a moment before turning back to me.

“What’s it about?”

“Oh. Um. Well, it is about an audition for the ensemble of a Broadway show. And it talks about the lives and trials each person has had to go through just to be on stage. It’s a really great show.”

Just as he was about to speak the lights dimmed and the orchestra picked up. Throughout the show, I tried to focus on Rocky as he played Paul San Marco, but I couldn’t keep from glancing at Jisung. I couldn’t help but be fascinated by his reaction. He listened intently to the stories and monologues and when intermission came around he asked me all sorts of questions about the show and which character my friend was.

The lights dimmed once more and I couldn’t help but notice that Jisung’s hand gripped the chair tightly during the scene where Paul fell and injured his knee. Worried I looked up to see slow quiet tears on his cheeks. I turned back to the stage and looked up as the scene progressed. Carefully, I let my hand graze over his and I held it lightly. I heard him take a breath and glance over at me, and I hoped my face still seemed intent on the performance.

I tried to ignore the way my heart started beating faster when he moved his hand to lace his fingers with mine.

“I really do appreciate this opportunity to work with you.” My fingers pushed a piece of blonde hair behind my ear as I sat down on the desk near Changbin. We were running the assault scene in the wig and with full set today for the dress rehearsal. Usually I would have met up with Jisung and worked on lines together, but his call time was later than mine. “I have learned so much.” I could see Changbin give me the signal with his eyebrow. An almost ‘are you ready’ secret message that we had between us.

“No, what you’ve learned isn’t the point. You have instincts...and instincts, legal instincts or otherwise can’t be taught.”

His fingers tapped on the desk while he sustained eye contact. If I hadn’t known it was fake, a shudder would go down my spine. My ears picked up the auditorium door opening and closing, but I remained in character, waiting for Changbin to act on his cue.

“Trust... your instincts.”

There was a pause and I continued acting oblivious. ‘Suddenly’ Changbin’s lips were crashing against mine and his hands were groping at my ass. After waiting for my cue from Hyori, I pushed Bin away and did the slap we practiced. Bin laughed quite sleazily and touched his cheek. “I thought you were smarter than that.”

“Awesome! Let's change the set for Elle and Emmett.” Bangchan called from the director’s desk.

Turning I saw Jisung standing in the middle of the aisle, his grip tight on his backpack. He wore the tank top and sweats he always wore after coming from dance practice and a backwards white cap. Even from the audience I could see a mix of emotions on his face, and none were good. Things between Jisung and I had become more flowing. It turns out it wasn’t just the suit. However, I didn’t want to get into anything serious with my castmate. I didn’t even know if he liked me.

I jumped off of the stage to let Seungmin yell at the underclassmen to move sets. Running up to Jisung I greeted him with a smile. “Hi!” His face still looked sad, but he tried to cover it with a small smile. “Hi...I saw your scene. You were great. I almost couldn’t tell you were acting.”

“Thanks! You look cute in hats.” Playfully I grabbed it, letting his fluffy hair loose and placing the white hat over my blonde wig. “Yeah well, I like your natural hair better.” That same sad smile came over his face. It didn’t quite reach his eyes and I was surprised I took notice of a detail so small.

“Hey...you look nervous. Are you okay?” My hand reached out for his arm and he looked down at the touch. “Yeah. I’m fine, Y/n.” I smirked and looked up at the boy before putting the hat back on his head. “What? No more L/n?” He shrugged, but I saw a flash of a smile. “Will you help me with choreo after rehearsal?” He nodded and tossed his stuff in a chair next to Hyunjin. With a smile I thanked him and walked over to Bangchan who gave me notes on the next scene.

Three hours later Jisung and I were in the dance studio running over the biggest number I had. “And mark the lift, 1 2 3 4. Good!” He smiled and turned off the music.

“I mean, you aren’t bad. You just need a little coaching.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as Jisung used the same thing I said to him on me. “Well what have you been doing the last four weeks, huh? Should I ask Hyunjin to help me instead!” Laughing I jumped onto him and playfully pulled him down to the floor. He rolled me off of his chest and propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at me.

“Nah. I’m much better than him.”

“Really. Should I tell him that?”

“.......Since when are you so close anyway!”

He jokingly yelled. That bright smile beamed on his face and ran all the way up to his eyes. There was a moment of comfortable silence and we just lay looking at each other. In that moment, I started to question if he didn’t have feelings for me. Then he broke the silence.

“So, how do you do that thing?” He looked down at the hardwood floor. “What thing?” “You know...you and Changbin. It wasn’t real.....right?” He looked up at me, almost hopeful. Pushing my self up, I sat cross-legged and looked down at him. “What? The stage kiss. No. Bin is gay. Trust me.”

“Wait what?”

“You haven’t seen Felix and him making out in the light booth?”

“WHAT?”

I laughed at the shocked look on his face and slightly pushed his shoulder. “You’re oblivious.” He shrugged and looked back up at me. “So, how do you do it?” He started playing with the ring on my right hand. “Are you nervous about our kiss--Oh- Have you never kissed anyone!!?” Jisung shot upright.

“I have kissed lots of girls!”

“Oh, okay.”

“I HAVE!”

“Yet, you are still nervous for our kiss.”

He brought his knees up and rested his arms on them. It took every inch of my self control not to stare at his arms. “Well, it’s gonna be in front of hundreds of people so yeah. A little.”

“It’s easy. Ours especially.” I snatched his white hat from him again and he chuckled when it was a little too big for me without my wig. “Explain, good madam.” “Both are at the end of the show,” I said have laughing and him nodding along.

“The first lasts exactly one eight count and then we do the rest of the song. The second is the cue for the blackout. Not long at all.” He nodded again, yet I didn’t think I had put him at rest. “Would it help set you at ease if we rehearsed it? That way you’ve done it when it is just you and me and not six hundred and eighty four people.”

Thinking about it, he nodded and followed my lead when I stood up and cued up the music. “Okay, so I’ve just proposed,” I stated getting done on one knee. I looked up to find him smirking.

“Having fun done there?”

“I will punch you in the nuts and not regret it. You really will be singing tenor then.”

“Okay moving on.”

He laughed and looked down at me slipping the pretend ring on his finger. He sang his line with the track. A real laugh left my lips when he picked me up in a hug and spun me around. The note sounded loud and clear in the dance studio and ended when my feet touched the ground. He looked into my eyes and his hand came up to my cheek before he kissed me.

I tried to ignore the tingling sensation that ran through my body as soon as his lips touched mine. I tried to ignore how even though he had been dancing for hours he still smelled like vanilla and the grass after a storm. I tried to focus on measuring the eight count, but my mind went foggy when I felt his hand bury itself in my hair. Well if I’m not counting he is, so it’s fine. It’s fine.

Jisung subconsciously took the control I gave him. He slowed the kiss from its original pace. Every time I thought he was pulling away he came back to my lips and I thought I could feel him smiling. After a moment he pulled away and looked into my eyes. At that moment I snapped out of it, realizing the song had already ended. He was still looking at me with his big brown eyes.

“The song is over...” His voice was low and almost a whisper. “Yeah...we kinda missed our cue.” What should I do? For once in my life....my mind was blank. “Uh...I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess?” He said with the corner of his lips quirking up. After a nod, he smiled and pulled away from me. Jisung stole glances back at me frozen in place as he picked up his bag and left.

The next day I walked into the auditorium in a crop and shorts. Immediately my eyes found Jisung and a wide smile spread across my face. Slowly it fell when I saw him talking to Hyori, a smirk evident on her small face. Her eyes met mine for a second before she reached out to Han’s arm. Suddenly he turned and saw me. A cold expression resonated over his sharp features.

After saying something to her, Han looked away and headed backstage. While my heart screamed to storm over to Hyori and ask what kind of game she was playing with Han, but my head told me to let it go and focus on tonight’s show.

Woojin caught up with me and helped me get in costume and makeup for the show. Every time I tried to talk to Jisung he would just avoid me and tell me some random excuse. Even Hyunjin came up to ask me what was wrong with his friend. Soon the wig came on and it was time for the start of the show.

The laughs and cheers sounded from the crowd but in the back of my mind and in the corner of my eye I could see Han in the wings, watching me with that cold expression. 

I feel so much better...

Than before

My throat burned and my stomach clenched as I held out the last note. If I couldn’t know what was going on with Jisung, I was damn sure going to give the best show I’ve ever done. Even if it destroyed my vocal cords and my body. My voice was the thing I could control right now, and it would do what I told it to. So, I told it to keep the note strong and not take the second breath.

With the conductor’s cue, I stopped and smiled brightly at the audience before the stage went black for intermission. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bangchan bolted from his front-row seat in the audience and sprinted backstage. Seungmin and Changbin both rushed up and gave me a bottle of water.

“God damn Y/n! I knew you had pipes but I thought fossil fuel was the reason we were running out of oxygen.”

“Y/n!”

Chan rushed up to me and threw me over his shoulder. “I love you. I love you. I love you, but please save your voice. We kinda need it for the second act.” I smiled and nodded, my eyes looking everywhere for Jisung. I had ten minutes to change costumes, wigs, makeup check, and somehow get him to talk to me.

“Where’s Jisung? I need to-umm...ask him about the costume change for ‘Take it Like a Man’“. I asked as calmly as possible after I had changed. Woojin told me that he was in the guy’s dressing room changing suits. Charging down the dark cramped backstage hall I opened the door to find Changbin and Jisung. With look towards Changbin he scurried out the door leaving me and Jisung alone. 

“We have three minutes until curtain. You better tell me what the fuck is going on, Han.”

“Why don’t you tell me, huh?”

His brows furrowed as he raised his voice. His outburst stunned me for a moment. “Is this just this thing you do? Messing with your co-stars? Huh, L/n?” I could see in his eyes he was truly hurt. “Where the hell did you get that from!” He scoffed and finished doing his tie. “Hyori told me all about you and Jungkook.” 

“Hyori?” 

“Yes.”

“Hyori? The girl who Jungkook cheated on me with? Only so I would so devastated to miss the opening night and she could fill in for me.”

His expression changed drastically. “She lied?” He sank down in one of the cheap metal chairs. “Yeah it’s kind of her shtick.” He ran a hand through his hair before looking up at me again. “Y/n I am so sorry-” “I just can’t believe you trusted her word over anything I would have told you.” A heavy silence came between us and all I could do was stare at him in disbelief.

“Come on people! WARNING is NOT a suggestion! PLACES is NOT a category on jeopardy! GO is NOT A FUCKING OPTION!”

Seungmin yelled down the hall and Jisung sighed and got up from the chair. “Y/n, I-” He stopped when I put up my hand. “Listen...we’ll talk after the show.” I just had to get out of there. 

Han grabbed my arm and blocked the set door. “Hey. Hey. We’ll fix it. We’ll fight it.” Something in his eyes told me the emotion was real. “Emmett. There is no reason for me to stay.” I opened the door and closed it walking onto the other side and closing it. The music started to swell and I could feel all this pent up emotion in my chest. “What about love? You never mentioned love.” 

I could hear the crack in Jisung’s voice that wasn’t usually there. “You never mentioned love. The timing’s bad, I know. But perhaps if I’d made it more clear, that you belong right here, then you wouldn’t have to go.” My throat started to close up but I pushed through it and took a breath for my part of the song where we sang over each other. “Because you know that I’m so much in love-”

Back to the sun

Back to the shore

Back to what I was before

Lie on the beach, dream within reach

Don’t stray beyond

I felt real tears come down my cheeks as I moved downstage to face the lights. In my side vision I saw Jisung do the same. I had thought that I could be different. That he was different. That maybe we could put this unspoken rivalry behind us.

If you can hear, can I just say

How much I want you to stay

We returned to the door, but this time something felt different when I pressed my hand to the door.

It’s not up to me just let me be legally blonde

Seungmin pushed everyone on stage for the final scene and Woojin tugged the graduation camp over my wig and hurriedly covered the curtain call dress with the robe. Throughout the scene I couldn’t help but steal glances at Jisung. It wasn’t his fault. He had no way of knowing about Jungkook and Hyori. 

Walking over to Han, I gave him a genuine smile and got down on one knee. “Emmett Forest please make me the happiest woman I know!” I sang with sureness. He spun me around like once before and took my face in his slender fingers. 

And kissed me.

The grin on my lips was so big that it hurt my cheeks. I had to tap him on the shoulder when we needed to sing, but pulling away his smile was so big and genuine. He knew I had forgiven him. It felt so hard not to just stop singing and just jump into his arms. We both rushed up to the platform upstage and stood in the center.

Jisung smiled down at me and moved the tassel onto the other side of my cap, like he was supposed to. With the final cue of music, I couldn’t take it anymore and I tangled my fingers into his soft brown hair and crashed my lips onto his. I heard the roaring applause which meant the stage lights were in blackout for curtain call, but he was still kissing me. “Curtain call?” I whispered against his lips, in case my mic was still on. I felt him nod and pushed me further back on the platform and behind the center curtain without parting from my lips.

I laughed as he tried to help me pry of the robe for curtain call. “Take a break for a sec,” I said laughing and he joined me. He and I both fumbled with the buttons and tossed the hat and robe off stage to reveal the bright pink and sparkly dress for the closing of show. 

“I’m impatient. Come back here.”

His hands pulled me back by my waist and pressed a heated kiss on my lips once more. Kissing him felt like time stopping. At first, I didn’t notice the cheering audience as the curtain rose again, and I honestly didn’t care. Han pulled away and smiled at me  before doing his bow and then he motioned to me and the audience cheered. We clapped as Bangchan and Seungmin did their bows.

“There’s a party later. Are you going, L/n?”

“Duh. Cast party.”

“You gonna wear that green dress from last time?”

“You gonna wear that suit from last time?”

The entire cast did another bow and the curtain closed fully. When the red fabric touched the floor of the stage the cast and crew went crazy and Jisung wrapped me up in another kiss.

“HEY! NO MAKING OUT ON MY SET!”

“Sorry, Seungmin.”

“THAT DOESN”T MEAN DO IT AGAIN!”

Masterlist

Requests are open!

[maaaaaatryoshka0325]

Tourniquet - Han Jisung Gang AU Part 6

(Part1) (Part2) (Part3) (Part4) (Part5) (Part7) (Part8) (Part9)

“Jisung... What happened to your lip?” You asked.

“W-What?” He asked.

Despite it being dark, you could see a bruise at the corner of his mouth.

“Is that a bruise?” You asked.

“It’s nothing.” He said.

“It’s clearly not nothing.” You pointed out, reaching your hand out.

He grabbed your wrist and you flinched. His eyes widened as he looked at your hand, which was close to his face. You felt his grip loosen as he held your wrist.

“What happened?” You asked.

“I was uh... Rough housing with the guys.” He said.

You reached your fingers out a little more and softly rubbed the spot that was bruised. He closed his eyes as your soft fingers caressed the area.

“You guys should be more careful when messing around.” You said.

 His big eyes brightened as he looked down at you.

“Awe, are you worried about me?” He asked.

“Shut up, jerk.” You mumbled, rolling your eyes.

He smiled at you and looked around.

“Are you walking home?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You replied, looking at him.

“Alone? This late?” He asked.

“Nothing bad has happened.” You said.

“That doesn’t mean something WON’T happen.” He pointed out.

“Awe, are you worried about me?” You mocked his voice.

He rolled his eyes and turned away from you, walking towards your apartment.

“So what if I am?” He asked lowly.

Your face turned red as you followed him, walking beside him. The smell of his cologne hit your nose and you couldn’t help but feel a bit better. He was quiet as he walked, seemingly lost in thought.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“Yeah, why?” He asked, looking at you with a smile.

“You never answered me or showed up to school, and when I see you, you have a bruise on your lip, “You pointed out. “And you’re being really quiet.”

“Sorry mom.” He teased, sticking his tongue out.

You rolled your eyes and he let out a small laugh.

“No but really, I’m fine. I was just busy, no need to worry about me.” He said with a big smile.

When you got to your apartment he ruffled your hair.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He said with a smile.

“Goodnight Jisung. Don’t forget to let me know if you got home okay.” You said a little firmly.

“Alright mom.” He laughed, sticking his tongue out at you.

You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out back before heading into your apartment after he had walked away. You quickly showered and plopped on your couch, putting a movie on. You were engrossed in the movie when your phone went off and you saw a text from Jisung.

Jisung: I’m home now mom, you don’t have to worry ;P

You: Good. I’ll see you in school tomorrow?

Jisung: Oh now I HAVE to go to school? You’re killing me, mom.

You: Shut up, idiot.

Jisung: Haha, Goodnight Y/N.

You: Goodnight, Jisung.

You smiled at your phone and continued to watch the movie as your eyes began to feel heavy as you drifted off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It hurts. Everything hurts. I’ve lost everything, and everyone I love. I can’t move, I can’t breathe, I can’t do anything. My back stings. My bones ache. What did I do to deserve this? Why am I still alive? I’m better off dead. Please, please just end this already.

You woke up to your alarm going off and you stretched. You groaned as your neck hurt from sleep on the couch. You quickly washed up and headed out the door, when you realized, you still had Jisung’s book bag. You picked it up and grunted when you realized how heavy it was.

You: I still have your book bag.

Jisung: Good shit, I was just looking for it. Do you want me to stop over and grab it? You: Nah, I can bring it. I’ll see you there.

Jisung: Ok.

You made your way, grunting and heaving, with both book bags. When you made it to the courtyard of the school, Jisung was standing there. He was clad in a leather jacket with a white T-shirt underneath, and tight black ripped jeans with a chain hanging from one side. 

He turned around and laughed when he saw you dragging yourself with both bags.

“I told you I could come and get mine.” He laughed, grabbing it and slinging it over his shoulder.

His hair was parted that day, and it made his face much more handsome than usual.

“No point in walking an extra 20 minutes.” You pointed out, huffing to catch your breath.

He softly stroked your hair and smiled at you.

“Thank you.” He said.

Your heart skipped a beat and you turned away to hide your red face.

“Do you wanna do something after classes? Maybe go to the cafe and then see a movie?” He asked.

‘U-Um, sure.” You said with a smile.

His eyes brightened again as he waved you off before heading to class.

XXXX

You finished your assignment for Korean just before the class, as you had a free study period right before hand. You handed it in and sat at your desk as Minchul walked by.

“I see you handed in your assignment, I’m glad you got it done in time.” He said with a smile.

“Me too.” You laughed.

He sat next to you and took out his notes.

“Mind if I stay here?” He asked.

“Oh, no problem.” You said, trying to be nice.

“I don’t know when I got lazy, but man, have I been slacking.” He said.

“Oh me too. I just recently started procrastinating with assignments.” You said.

“Really? I try and push myself hard to do them, but it usually takes me DAYS instead of hours to do it.” He laughed.

“I wait until last second and stress that I won’t have enough time.” You laughed.

“Man, that IS stressful.” He said.

“You’re telling me, I’ll be confident I won’t procrastinate like that again, and I end up doing it anyways.” You giggled.

He laughed and shook his head. He was pretty easy to converse with, which you found odd. You never thought you’d be friends with the class president, as the way he made himself out to be, but he was actually pretty cool.

“What are you doing after classes? Wanna go to a cafe?” He asked.

“Oh, I actually have plans today.” You said.

“Oh, maybe next time.” He said with a smile.

You nodded and walked out of Korean. You felt something hit the back of your head, and Hyunjin approached you.

“Listen Y/N, I’m sorry for being a jerk the other day. It was rude and uncalled for.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I forgive you.” You said, sticking your tongue out.

He rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Good.” Is all he said as he walked away.

You felt a hand ruffle your hair, and you looked over to see Chan.

‘Oh, hey Chan.” You greeted.

“Hey Y/N. Since when are you friends with Minchul?” He asked.

“I don’t know, he’s just been nice to me since I’ve gotten here and even more so recently.” You said. “Why?”

“No reason, he just didn’t seem like the type you’d hangout with. He’s so flashy and you’re the opposite.” He said.

“Yeah, I didn’t think he and I would get along either. He’s really nice though.” You said with a shrug.

“That’s good.” He said with a smile.

XXXX

After classes you met Jisung in the courtyard. He smiled at you as you approached him.

“Lets drop our bags off at Changbin’s, then we’ll head over to the cafe and then the theater.” He said.

You nodded as you followed him to Changbin’s. He took your bag and dropped it off inside, insisting it’ll only take a second. You quickly took your smaller bag and rolled some perfume on. He came back out, his eyes shining as he beckoned you to follow.

You both walked around the city as you approached the cafe and ordered drinks, and a few cakes. You quickly paid as he was looking at something else, and when he noticed, he pouted as you both sat at a booth.

“Hey, girls shouldn’t pay.” He said.

“Don’t pout, a simple thank you will do.” You giggled.

He rolled his eyes and smiled.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He said.

“You’re welcome, Jisung.” You said with a smart ass tone.

He stuck his finger in one of the cakes and wiped it on your cheek. You gasped as he smirked at you before sticking his finger in his mouth.

“Ooooh, that icing is good.” He said with a smirk.

“Is it?” You asked, grabbing a hand full and smacking it on his mouth.

His eyes widened as you both looked at each other before cracking up.

“I swear, we’re such kids when we hangout.” He laughed.

“Hey, you started it.” You laughed, holding your stomach.

He shook his head as he laughed and wiped his face off. You decided to make a quick apology, since you shoved half a cake in his face. You stuck your fork into one and held it near his mouth.

“Try this one.” You said.

“You’re not gonna shove it down my throat, are  you?” He asked.

“No, just try it.” You giggled.

He took the bite off of it and chewed, his eyes glistening.

“OOOOH, that’s GOOD.” He exclaimed.

You both laughed at his reaction and finished the cakes and your drinks. You both walked to the theater and picked out a horror movie. You both sat down as the movie started.

You liked horror movies, you really did. But the jump scares always got you, and this movie was full of them. You jumped and squeaked and Jisung giggled every time. His hand was resting on the arm rest and you grabbed it when the worst jump scared happened. Your face turned red when you realized what you did, and you were about to let go, when he squeezed your hand.

“If you get scared you can squeeze it. Just don’t break my hand.” He giggled.

XXX

“I thought I told you NOT to break my hand. I thought you liked horror movies anyways?” Jisung pouted, holding his throbbing hand.

“I do, the jump scares just get me sometimes.” You laughed.

“Obviously. My hand can feel it.” He pouted.

“Do you want me to kiss it better?” You asked in a teasing tone.

He smirked and held his hand out, which you smacked away.

“Ow! Hey, you offered!” He complained.

“Yeah, whatever.” You huffed, your face red.

You both walked and talked, laughing as he walked you to Changbin’s to grab your stuff. 

“You were so funny when you were scared. Your color drained from your face, and you looked like the ghost in the movie.” He laughed.

“Shut up before I actually break your hand!” You laughed.

“I’m sorry, it was just too funny.” He said.

‘You wanna know what’s funny?” You asked, a playful smile on your face.

“What?” He asked, scrunching his nose as he looked at you.

“You-” 

“Well isn’t this just cute.” 

You both turned as you saw a man leaning against a light post, a crooked smile on his face as he looked at the both of you.

“I’ve been looking for you, Han Jisung.” He said.

Jisung pushed you behind him and you gave him a confused look. 

“What do you want Wooyoung?” He asked.

The man name Wooyoung chuckled and stood up all the way, his eyes narrowing.

“You know exactly what I want Jisung.” He snarled as another man appeared.

“Y/N, I need you to run, okay?” He said, looking at you.

“Jisung, what are you-”

“Just do it! Okay?” His voice was firm and you nodded as you ran, constantly looking back.

This idiot! What did he get himself into?

You ran only a few blocks away and dropped down against a wall, panting. You knew you should probably run further, but you didn’t want to leave him. You panted for a couple minutes before standing up and peeking around a building. You were anxious. What if he gets hurt? What if they kidnap him? What if they KILL him?

You bit your lip in frustration as you closed your eyes and leaned the back of your head against the wall.

“Y/N?” You heard a familair voice call for you.

You quickly walked around the building and looked around.

‘Y/N?!” You heard his voice getting louder.

“Jisung!” You called back. 

You heard fast approaching footsteps and turned around, seeing him appearing. His eyes were wide with worry as he looked at you. His nose was bleeding as he sighed in relief. He wiped his nose and walked towards you.

‘Y/N I’m so sorry-”

You cut him off as you wrapped your arms around his neck tightly, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

“Idiot... What are you getting yourself into?” You asked.

His cologne filled your senses and you closed your eyes as you buried your face into him. He wrapped his arms around you tightly buried his face into your hair.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He breathed, cradling the back of your head as he held you tightly. “I’m sorry.”

[hxnjisxng]

Snowdrops || Han Jisung || The Language of the Flowers AU ||

So idk i haven’t written in a really long time but i’m really excited for this so !! This is also my first time ever writing bullet thingie so,, yeah,,, not all of these will be in the bullet format I just felt like trying out smth new !! and to stay true to my ult Han Jisung i will write about him first. In this like,,, kinda cute little series thing. Every theme will kinda just relate to the flower meaning so,,, yeet !! Also, s/o to my one and only bub @chenle who told me to tag her when my first official writing thing happened so here !!!

Genre: Bad Boy!Jisung x Piano Player!Reader au; bulleted scenario  

Warnings: none !!

Word Count: 3.2k 

| Jisung | Minho | Chan | Changbin | Jeongin | Seungmin | Felix | Woojin | Hyunjin |

{picture not mine, credits to owner}

Snowdrop: (noun) A European flower which bears white flowers and blooms in February/early March, it signifies the end of winter and the coming of spring. Represents hope, purity, warmth, and new beginnings. 

Ever since you were little you’ve known you’ve wanted to be a pianist

It all started when you were younger and you went to see an orchestra with your parents

They 100% expected you to fall asleep in the first,,, like,,, five seconds after you came into the theater

What they did not expect is for you to sit there starry eyed staring at the person playing the piano for a whole 3 hours

They were,,, sister shook,,,,

But they didn’t think much of it, you know, like yeah they just like classical music

You know, as one does

But the second y’all got back into the car that was it

You wouldn’t stop talking about how pretty the music sounded

How much you liked the sound of pressing keys and the sound of the pedal lifting or the sound of the mallets and strings inside of the piano

You loved it

It was as though you had just found your one and only true love, y’all know, the yee to your haw

The ying to your yang

The chris to your weed

Sorry back to the point

You just couldn’t explain it, little four year old you just knew the fluttering feeling in your heart was a good one

So your parents signed you up for piano

They said they would find you the best teacher they could, one that could make you great

So that’s what they did

From a week after that concert, you started piano lessons

And you only fell more in love with the piano as time went on

So, after this little bit of context, flash back to reality 

oop there goes gravity oop

there goes rabbit he chokes

Sorry okay eminem is my calling

So it’s the end of winter, it’s been a really cold and bitter winter, but it’s around the end of february and somehow it just HaS noT gotten any warmer

And here we meet our boy jisung

Our chipmunk, our squirrel, our boi yk

But he’s a little bit of a hooligan

A bad boy if you will

You know, the leather jacket, the messy hair, the snarky attitude, the cocky jokes and the cute smile you knOW and he always always ALWAYS has a lollipop

A pink lemonade lollipop to be exact

It’s his favorite flavour

Any who, he’s one of those guys, the type of guy that almost everyone either wants to be him or with him

He’s also a part of a trio of you know bad boys at your school, the other two being his best buds Chan and Changbin

They call themselves 3RACHA

They’re as tight knit as can be, they do everything together

Skip class, hang out, throw parties

You know all that bAd bOY stUfF

He also has a slight reputation to get into fights every so often

Maybe not only so often

Maybe vERY often

But he’s trying his best okay those people just get on his nerves when they poke fun of one of his friends or his music

“I’m just a little misunderstood, okay I didn’t wanna break his nose it just sometimes happens, you know, my hand just kinda lost control of itself and hit him in the nose really really really hard. I swear.”

“Mr. Han, I distinctly remember you telling him to shove a stick up his, excuse my language, ass, and then proceeding to punch him.”

*them sitting in a perfectly silent office* “hM sorry it just got really loud in here, pardon???” :))))))

Real footage of Jisung last week after breaking some guy’s nose  

He also loves loves LoVES music

Loves all music

Except for classical and country

He’s always despised classical music, it just seemed so boring

There’s no pounding beat

No lyrics to scream along to

He just found everything about it depressing and irritating and just monotone

Well one day, as he was wandering through the school

You know, as one does when their friends were busy doing who knows what during lunch

He stumbled into the music hall

Now this was an accident

He didn’t really want to be here since the only courses your school offered in terms of music were classical ones

And again

Gross

But for some weird, strange, odd-ball, out of this world, sister shook reason

He felt like he needed to be here

That’s when he heard it

tHE hiLLS aRE aLiVE wiTH

The sound of music

Not the kind of music he liked

It was definitely classical music, so y’all, it’s disgusting

‘I should go, the music is starting to make me depressed already’ he mumbled

But his feet wouldn’t move, his body just kinda froze

It felt like something was just pulling him to that room, to that ugly boring nasty music

And it’s not like he’s never listened to classical before, he had, but this time something was weird about it

He still didn’t like it, it all still sounded the same, nothing interesting

But something for some weiRD REASON was telling him to go to that room

Like something was a little different about the way it was being played

‘Maybe,,,, I should just look for a couple seconds and,,,,,,, tell the person to stop playing that boring stuff,,,, or maybe I could just listen for a bit,,, but like obviously no that’s nasty,,,,’

The door was slightly ajar, so the music was just drifting through the air

Just calling him over

Jisung slowly walked up to the door, and peeped through the window

And there you were

You, reader, in all of your piano classical music glory

Sat there playing your heart out to the world

In that moment when he saw you with your hair slightly drifting over your face

Your eyebrows slightly scrunched up in concentration as your hands ran across the keys

His heart was screaming

Literally just like

dabdikajbksbfkajbDNBDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He almost forgot about the fact he hated classical music if he could just watch you play it all day

Wait,,, what no,,,,

Gross,,,,, the Han Jisung doesn’t like people that easily,,,,,, nuh-uh thats def not him folks

And he got so scared by that feeling

The one inside of his chest

He was scared of how it made his hands feel tingly and it made him feel like he stood up too fast because his head felt so rushed and light

It felt like he was flying, but also crashing down to earth at the same time

And when I say scared

I mean terrified

This boy is mortified of catching feelings

Definitely not because in the third grade the person he liked stomped all over his heart because they wouldn’t give him a cracker,,,,, no who even thOughT tHaT hAHa

Just the thought of him truly giving his whole heart to someone ?? unacceptable

Like in this economy ?? liking someone ?? unreasonable

So he did the only logical thing

He ran away

Far back to the other side of school

And he was so out of it for the rest of the day, he just couldn’t handle it

He even went back to class next period because he was so out of it

“W-welcome Mr. Han take a seat, it’s a pleasure to have you finally join us.”

“mm-hmm”

He didn’t pay attention all day though, his mind was only occupied by you

Cheesy, I know, but it was

Even when he went to hang out with Chan and Changbin

“Bro,,, where were you during lunch ?? you kinda just disappeared”

“I was uhhh,,,, in the library,,,”

“The library ?? are you good ???”

“Yeah,,,,, im fine it’s cool,,,”

“Dude, you alright you seem a little weird.”

“Yeah,,,,,,,,, im just thinking”

Jisung thInKing ??? unheard of

So, this terrified Chan and Changbin because whenever Jisung thinks it’s never good

But it’s been three days since he saw you

And he’s still thinking about you and he’s kinda emo about it

Because, of course, you occupied his thoughts, the song you were playing stuck in his mind on a loop

This is so cheesy please forgive me

It was so bad that he started hearing it everywhere, it even started placing itself into his music and the lyrics he was writing somehow all revolved around love

He’d sit there for hours writing lyrics until he realized all of it in some way tied back to you

It was bothering him

Like a lot

So now it’s been a whole six days, and trust me he’s been counting and he thought he could take it,,, you know not see you,,,

Until he’s had enough

He needed to go see you again otherwise he felt like his head would explode

And it wasn’t because he liked you or anything,,, he just wanted to see you so he wouldn’t write any more music about you,,,,, because this was just SuPeR gRoSS

So he went to the same hall, the same room, the same time, and there he saw you

Still working on the same part of the piece

It was just as beautiful as the first time he heard it and he honestly was in awe of how your hands moved across the piano as though they were as light as air

Anyone even from a million kilometers away could tell you were frustrated with this part

He wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to worry because it was beautiful

He wanted to just go in there and tell you that your playing is amazing and hold your hands and just comfort you

But he just couldn’t say anything

And he could always say something, he never stopped talking

And his heart was still doing the same flippity flop screaming thing in his chest

Big surprise, i know

But then,,,, he had a genius idea,,,, like spectacular,,,, like nobel prize winning idea,,,

“Maybe if i see them all the time,,,,, my heart will get used to it and it won’t flippity flop anymore :’D,,,,,,”

wow ,,,, genius i know you don’t have to tell him

So instead of saying anything, or ignoring you any longer, he decided

I’m just gonna come here and watch them play every day because as long as I see them and never talk to her,,,, eventually whatever weird heart thing i have will go away !!!!!

So that is exactly what he did

Every single day for the next coming three weeks,,, he would disappear during lunch and go and watch you play

Changbin and Chan were getting suspicious but they never asked,,, so Jisung thought he was so slick you know

So it’s been weeks of him doing this

It’s now around the end of February, and he planned on doing smth for Valentines day,,,

Not,, because he liked you or because it was valentines day, but because he just,,, somehow planned to do it for February 14th

He was really counting on his genius 10000+ IQ plan to work

But, surprise surprise, his plan was failing

It was almost as though he liked you APPRECIATED !! your playing even more after seeing you play :))))))

Just seeing you just so cutely hunched over the piano

It made his heart hurt wiTH APPRECIATION FOR YOUR ARTISTRY NOT L O V E

Haha obviously,,,,,, not love,,,,,, who even said that y’all hear summ ????

And he realized maybe he just ReaLLY REALLY reAllY wanted to be your friend !!

Really really close friend !!

And that’s why he wanted to talk to you !! And hold you !! Like F R I E N D S do !! haha !!

And you know this mentality was really working great, until one Thursday

It was near the beginning of March when it was getting a little warmer and all that green good grass was kinda appearing from under the snow,,, these little white flowers peeking out from under the melting snow and it was just so pretty that day

And all Jisung could think about was how beautiful you would look today outside

Holding his hand

In a totally PLATONIC and FRIENDLY way because he obviously just liked you as a friend

And maybe today he would tell you how much he wanted to be your friend :D

But that lunch you just didn’t show up for half an hour ??

He was confused,,,, like really confused

And also concerned ?? where were you,,, you were always here on time,, he even makes sure to show up 5 minutes after your usual arrival time so he could calmly sit outside of the door without getting caught

But today you weren’t there and he was about to leave and chicken out until he felt a hand on his shoulder

‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHH’

Istg he jumped like fifty feet in the air

“Hey,, you’re that guy who always sits outside when I practice !!! Han Jisung right ?? Sorry I was late I needed to talk to Mr.Park about a science assignment I have that’s due next week,, ”

Jisung.exe has stopped working

First of all,,,

yoU kNeW ?!?!?! and he thought he was so slick

Not only that you knew his nAMe and apologized for being late ??? did you like ??? cARE ABOUT HIM A LITTLE BIT

And he also just,,, kinda loved the way you just said his name

It made him UwU in ways he didn’t understand

In a friENDLY WAY

Oh who was he lying to at this point

Maybe he did like you just a LITTLE more than like a friend would like a friend  

so what,,, sue him,,,, 

He was so caught up in the million and five thoughts that were racing through his mind that he almost forgot to respond, so he managed to choke out the following charming and very expressive line:

“U-uh you know my name ???”

,,,,,good one Jisung,,, real smooth,,,,

You let out a light giggle and just kinda looked at him with this really soft expression

“Ofc I knew !!! I heard your foot tapping every single day and you also sat in front of an open door so,,, I kinda saw you the first day,,,”

SORRY NOT ONLY HAS JISUNG.EXE STOPPED WORKING HE JUST CRASHED ??? LIKE EXPLODED

Your hand,,,, was still on his shoulder,,, and you giggled again,,,,, how are you,,, so cute

Little did he know you freaked out the exaCt same way you saw him the first time in the hallways with his eyes closed and head leaning against the lockers

And not only that,,, he was just super pretty,,,

With the winter light perfectly hitting his face

His jacket slightly too big and it loosely drooped over his shoulders

I’m actually ruining myself imagining this wow thanks m e

So when you finally asked around after a couple days one of your friends told you who he was

The Han Jisung

The resident bad boy at your school, who liked to get into fights and allegedly also liked to play around with peoples hearts 

Which didn’t exactly scare you well maybe it did a little bit but we’re not here to expose ourselves

First of all you’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s probably just like any of us ?? people just kinda put him on a pedestal so you felt like you didn’t really need to treat him differently from anyone else

And with every time that he would sit outside of your practice room and listen you felt a little bit of that fear melting away because when he looked so relaxed and so pretty that his face just screamed UwU

But you gotta play it cool reader,,,because you’re slick and all that,,, you know

So you just kinda turn around and head into the music room without saying anything else

Which again gave him shock number 37429387129837 of the day

He was expecting you to do something,,, say something,,,,, but instead,,,,

You just smiled at him, and turned back to into the room, now sitting at the piano bench

He was confused

And mayhaps just the littlest bit disappointed  

He knew that everyone knew him, and that’s usually not the kind of reaction he gets, usually he gets a whole OH mY iT’s HaN jiSuNg scream or an angry disgusted look from people who didn’t like him

But no

Not you

Yet, what could he do

He was going to just,, sit back down in the hallway in his usual spot, or maybe just get up and leave since his cover has been blown and you probably think he’s super creepy

When your voice called out for him inside of the room

“Are you gonna come in or what?”

A small smile spread on his face as he stood up, and he noticed you had already set up a chair for him next to you at the piano

“So,,,, do you like classical music?”

“Um,, not really,, no.”

“Then,, why did you sit outside every day ??” 

You asked confused, your eyebrows slightly furrowing staring at him with intent

And he just found that so cute

So so so cute

So cute that it just made any confidence he had just disappear

“I-I justreallylikethewayyouplayitsoundsnice.”

He just really wanted you to stop looking at him like that it was going to make him actually just explode

You gave a breathy laugh at his cute antics,,, what was there not to like about this boy,,, I mean what a softie

Maybe he wasn’t too bad, ya know

Nothing to be afraid of

“You wanna hear me play one of my favorite songs?”

Jisung nodded his head, his hair lightly flopping on his forehead, kinda covering his eyes

Oh how bad you wanted to brush it out of his eyes and just pinch his cheeks but, alas, it shall not happen

Or will it ;);););;;;))))))))

So you with a light inhale you began playing on of your favorite pieces, it was strong and domineering, with an edge of superiority

If ya wanna check it out it’s actually one of my favorite pieces it’s Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in G Minor, Op. 23, No. 5

As soon as you started, Jisung was already in a trance, the way your hands moved, the sound of your breath hitching every huge chord or octave jump

Damn Jisung was whipped

When you smiled at him after you finished the piece

With your eyes so bright, finally breathing normally again, and just a light pink blush that swept across your face

He felt his heart beat fast again

But this time

Mayhaps he didn’t want to run away

“So, what did you think? Did you like it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like classical music maybe a little bit more now ??”

You asked with just the biggest grin on your face

“Hmm,, no i don’t think so,,” Jisung responded with the cheekiest smile known to mankind

“Then,,, I think you’re gonna have to come back here tomorrow so I can change your mind about that” ;)));))))))

WOWOW,, alright reader do y’all ever get tired of being so cute ??

As you continued playing the marvelous thought dawned upon Jisung

So maybe he did like classical music just a little bit more now

And,, maybe his heart beat faster with every second you looked at him

And maybe that feeling is not as bad as a thing as he thought it would be

Maybe it’s actually just the littlest bit nice

Just a little bit

[jkjelly-sea]

worth it ♡ lee felix

genre: fluff, comedy (?)

group: stray kids

rewind!au: 1980s

word count: 1708

warnings: swearing, making out it’s light but yk

a/n: okay okay so i thought A LOT about IT wrote this (the movie it) so ig this would be like an IT!au + so the members kinda act like the characters + when you read kinda just picture it taking place at the quarry from the movie ♡ ♡ + what their town looked like also i used this ♡ ♡ to help me write this but took out the nsfw part of it okay im done bye bye

“Do a flip!!”

“No, you fucking idiot I’ll break my neck!”

“Pussy!”

It was summertime, your favorite, you and your friends were down at the quarry not too far from your houses. You always went here, whether anyone was with you or you were just by yourself. It’s sorta like an escape— a safe haven.

Han Jisung, a good kid, really— good in school and has good manners, just dared Lee Felix to do a flip off the cliff into the water; Lee Minho—he’s a sweetie, too, just acts like a dick, then just called him a pussy. That’s just the normal, Minho likes picking with everyone. And then there’s Felix...

He’s your friend, just like the others, but maybe you’re closer. He took you to that one school dance that you didn’t want to go to but your parents forced you to anyways. He said he would make it better, which he did— he brought your jeans and one of his hoodies (your favorite of his) so you could get out of that fucking dress, then you snuck out and went to a diner nearby. Afterward he walked you home.

"Sooooo um...did you have fun,” he asked you when you reached the block before yours. You dragged out a “mmhm” as you finished the milkshake he brought you from the diner. When you got to your block, it was really late, so you thought it would be better to come in the house through your bedroom window; your parents were used to you coming home late and going straight to bed, but it was a little past midnight— they thought you were already in bed alssep hours ago. Before Felix helped you up the window, he gave you a present. A kiss. Which was really awkward and unexpected, but it was good. Flustered, you went to open your mouth and say something but Felix shushed you and rushed you into the house, saying about how it’s “so late” and other things like “your parents are gonna fucking kill me, just go inside already!” He laughed a little as he spoke, trying to hide the fact that he was flustered too, and you swore that his laugh was the best sound on earth. So from now on, you’ve known he likes you. And you started to like him, too.

But still just friends.

“Why won’t you do a flip, Felix~?” you teased, while you sat back against the huge rock on the cliff, toying with the dials on the radio.

“Do you want me to die?!”

“She might,” Jisung said, sarcastically. Felix shot him a look that told him ‘shut the fuck up’.

“I think it would be pretty impressive, ya know?” You teased him farther, causing his face to turn a bright red (and you were sure it wasn’t the sun, this kid brought two and a half bottles of sunscreen).

“Ugh, all of you shut up,” Minho said suddenly, while he flipped through the pages of his book.

But then you got an idea, a dumb one. A really fucking dumb one.

“Yo, watch out! Let me do it!”

You got up from the rocks and ran over to the edge of the cliff to Felix. You lightly hit his chest twice and told him “Watch this”. You honestly weren’t afraid of doing it; you took gymnastics for like a month when you were 12 so you’re actually a professional.

You took a few steps back and ran up to the very end of the cliff and jumped off. You managed a successful flip but completely fucked up on the landing. There were rocks on the quarry floor that aren’t a problem if you land the flips correctly. But you didn’t; you hit your left forearm on one of the bigger rocks and broke it.

So then the next day...

You were just leaving the house to go down to a “super secret hiding place” that you and Felix would go to every now and then. Like, when you needed to get away from everything and everyone and you needed someone to talk to (and most of the times cry on) so you wouldn’t do something you regretted. But, honestly, this place was not hidden, just no one knew you went here. It was just around the corner from the abandoned movie theater that comes closer and closer to crashing into a pile of ash when you flick it; under a huge oak tree in the empty field by the river. He told you to come here because apparently “I have to talk to you. It’s super important. Just please meet me there, alright, Y/n?” Hearing him say that made your heart skip beats because you still liked him and so many thoughts were running through your mind but you let it slide. Or at least you tried to.

“Y/n!” Felix smiled like a kid when he saw you, which made you laugh.

“Why are you so happy to see me?” He wiped the smile off his face when you said this.

“I-I’m not! Actually, I’m really mad at you.”

“Is this is what you brought me here for?”

“Well, I mean...Hey, shut up! Look, I’m mad at you!” He tried to keep his laughter in and put on an act that he was actually mad but he’s really bad at it.

“What’d I do?”

“Was a broken arm really worth it, though?”

“Yes, it was!” You laughed. “You were so impressed!”

“I was not!”

“You still are, don't lie!”

“I am not! I was very worried...I still am, ya know!”

“Oh, that’s cute,” you hid the fact that you were so flustered by smartass remarks because you were good at acting, Felix wasn’t. He motioned with his hand for you to come closer.

“I was worried about you, you asshole...like, you coulda really hurt yourself...” He actually looked sad now. He grabbed your broken arm and played with the limp fingers that hung out from the cast. Then he knocked on your cast softly to see how hard it was which made you mumble a quiet “Ow”, he stopped and said "Sorry” really sweetly. He went back to playing with your fingers instead.

It was too quiet and you felt your heart pounding like crazy. You swore he could hear. Nothing but the gentle sound of water moving and warm wind blowing through your ears. And then he held both your hands in each of his— well he held your right hand and the fingers of your left (the cast was way bigger than you expected it would be). Your heart felt like it could either explode or jump out of your chest, whichever happens first.

“Sigh...” Felix sighed (to break the silence most likely). You looked up at him, the sun was now setting behind him so you had to squint your eyes a bit. But you could see how beautiful the sun made his skin look, and how perfectly it shined on his freckles and made his eyes sparkle. How absolutely ethereal he looked was not helping you from going into cardiac arrest, right now.

“Y/n~,” he said, snapping you out of your thoughts. You looked up to him again, still squinting.

He leaned in closer to you and kissed you...only this time it was way better than the first. He was the first to break the kiss. His smile was so bright you still had to squint your eyes even though now his head was blocking the sun.

“Was that okay?” Felix asked shyly.

“U-um...yeah..”

Then he kissed you again. But this time so much more. It was more passionate and love-filled as if he’d been waiting years to do it (which he probably has). Like when you finally get the candy bar you wanted and you try to savor it but you can’t wait any longer and devour the entire thing in a second. He was basically trying to eat you. Felix pulled back for a second and looked you in the eyes before going back in for more kisses, and this time he slipped his tongue in during the kiss and your first instinct was to do the same to him.

You didn’t try to but...By this time his hands were in your waist (high up from your ass so things didn’t get any weirder than they already were) and the feelings were too overwhelming and the hot air made you feel all weird and...a small moan slipped out. Felix immediately broke the kiss with this huge ass smile on his face.

“Oh wow,” he giggled. “I think that’s the first time I ever heard you moan...”

Your eyes widen and your lips parted in shock and you felt like exploding again. He looked back over at you with a smirk on.

“...It was like a fucking melody.”

“Nope.”

“What?”

“Nope nope nope. The power of Christ compels you Satan.”

“I am not Satan!” He laughed.

“You had me, then you lost me.” You started walking away backwards while smiling at him. “You fucked this up for yourself, Lee Felix.”

You ran after you and actually chased you for a good three seconds but he’s faster than you so you got caught easily. He wrapped his arms around you from the back, lifted you, and spun you around while you laughed in happiness but at the same time screamed “Put me down!” He listened after a while and let go of you.

“Y/n will you be my girlfriend?”

“Huh?” was the first thing that came out of your mouth but then you realized that this is actually happening. “Y-yes. Yes! YESYESYES!!!” After screaming so much you ran into his arms for the biggest hug. Which resulting in Felix lifting you up again.

“Felix!” He dropped you almost instantly. You stumbled backward but Felix caught you before you could fall. You shared one last kiss before Felix thought it was time to take you home. So he walked you home and...well honestly the last kiss was the one he gave you just under your bedroom window (you’ve gotten so used to the window, the front door doesn’t even exist anymore). This kiss was in the same place as before, but better.

a/n: yayyy im soft. 🙃

[ao3feed-ateez]

by mingwoosan

Yeosang just wanted to get through his senior year without the help of his stupid ass friends.

Chaos ensues.

Words: 659, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: ATEEZ (Band), Stray Kids (Band)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Kim Hongjoong, Park Seonghwa, Song Mingi, Jeong Yunho, Choi Jongho, Choi San, Jung Wooyoung, Kang Yeosang, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Bang Chan, Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han, Seo Changbin, Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin

Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Lee Felix

Additional Tags: Kang Yeosang-centric, Alternate Universe - High School, StrAyTEEZ AU, Lots of Cursing, I'm not sorry, no beta we die like men, Short Chapters, I honestly have no fucking clue what's going on just roll with it okay, cheerleading coach Hyunjin, English teacher Coach Bang, P.E. teacher Changbin, theater arts teacher Lee Know, stripper!Hyunjin too LMFAO, and history teacher Hyunjin, man can do everything fight me, band teacher Jisung, nurse!felix, calculus teacher Seungmin (in the building), art teacher Innie, oh and Yeosang has a fake ID, barista!yunho, rich bitch Seonghwa

[leggomylino]

Starry-Eyed | Han Jisung

Genre: silly, nostalgia, college au, theater au

Pairing: Han Jisung x fem!reader

Word count: ~1.1k

A/n: Masterlist in bio, yeehaw! 🤠 | For Hunter 🧡 (@hanniiesuckle17​)

~⤞★⤝~

Han Jisung was a boy with stars in his eyes. He was a boy you’d come to admire for quite some time; even if he did have a tendency of occasionally running into glass doors and barely maintaining a 2.0 grade point average. He was still your first waking thought at sunrise, and your last coherent one at dusk.

And now...here, in this moment...

“...Is that it? Is that all I am to you? Just...an empty vessel? Someone to dump your emotions into when you don’t know where to turn? Heh,” you scoffed. “Well what about me, Jisung, what about my emotions?! What about MY feelings?!?”

The boy you thought you once knew turned away, a barren wasteland of his former self. The late afternoon sun accentuating the hidden highlights in naturally brown hair. “...What about them, Y/n? What about them? Since you like repeating words so much, I’ll ask you again...” 

His eyes shifted onto yours like the changing tide. 

“What about them?”

You were lost for words. You didn’t know what to say, what to think...and all because...all because...

...There was a boom mic blocking your vision.

“C U U U T!!!” An angry Director Lee Know roared. His voice was a growling sonorous from his cat-stickered megaphone. “Dang it, Hyunjin, I told you guys to knock it off!! What could be so funny this time?!”

Hyunjin and Felix, both stagehands and sound support, were (once again) kneeled over in hissing laughter from something or another they’d found amusing, causing the boom mic in Hyun’s grip to slip-n-slide...right into your face. You backed away from it, relaxing your posture as the set lights faded and the little red recording light gave out.

“I’m sorry,” Hyun wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. “Seungmin keeps making faces, it’s not our fault!”

All eyes turned to Camera Man Minnie as an accusatory finger went his way, including the snapping of Director Lee's head, who whirled around faster than anyone, but...the boy merely raised his brows in innocent curiosity. 

“Who, me?” he blinked. “I didn’t do anything. I’ve been paying attention to the camera this whole time.”

“Liar!!” Hyun and Felix called in unison, to which Minho reeled his head back to let out a groan of annoyance.

“Uuuuuugh, okay, whatever. Everyone take ten…I need a drink...”

As the set slowly dissipated, with Hyun and Felix chasing down Seungmin, the boy genius leaping over low-sitting equipment while managing to take poor Assistant Jeongin hostage, and Minho venturing off to the green room (tent) for that much-needed drink, you stretched out your arms and came to sit on one of the park benches not far off from the makeshift filming set. It was a lovely day in Brightwell Park, but sort of a shame; such a beautiful day to be filming such a heart wrenching scene between the crumbling relationship of your character and Han’s (whose names ironically were the same to each; courtesy of one meddling Bang Chan and Seo Changbin, who knew of your little crush and convinced Minho to alternate the names). 

A short film for your theater final...who’s bright idea was this again? What happened to just taking an exam and putting on something Shakespeare...?!

“Hey,” said Han. Right in your ear. 

Startled, you nearly fell backwards into the bushes, gripping the fabric of your sweater over your heart. How did he sneak up on you like that?!? You hadn’t even heard him sitting down...

The bench was barely big enough for Han Jisung and his spread out manner of sitting, and conservative old you, curled up on the edge. But Han didn’t seem to mind, and honestly, neither did you. 

“Here, catch,” he said, and quickly you fumbled to keep a bottle of water from exploding onto the pavement. Han Jisung swung his down, the way he always did during Minho’s ten-minute anger-management breaks where he disappeared to collectively admire pictures of his cats over a bottle of something strong. He sighed afterward. “...You’re doing great out there, as usual. But one thing I noticed...”

Oh? “Yeah?”

“...” He smiled. “There it is again. That goofy gleam in your eyes.” He flicked a fallen cherry blossom petal from your hair. “You looked like you stepped out of an anime, but we’re filming a drama here.” He took another swing of agua, then connected his elbows to his knees. “So what’s the good news? Did you finally get that apartment? Or maybe a magical fairy came and zapped all your debt away? Did your letter from Hogwarts arrive?”

Something hot laced your cheeks, the reflection of a pink glow shimmering in the water bottle’s surface. A gentle breeze whistled by, carrying with it spring cherry blossoms and something sweeter, something warmer and brighter and more fuzzy-like.

It was the shifting of a new foundation; all week, you had been trying to muster up the courage to tell Han Jisung how you really felt, how you’d always felt, ever since that fateful day in August when he approached you on stage as both the best and worst Romeo Montague you’d ever seen. You swallowed your pride, the rapid pounding of your heart telling you the time was now, before that accursed Christopher and Changbin ruined everything by blabbing it themselves through their meddling antics.

“I—“

That was all you managed to get out. Rip. “Okay, everyone back to your stations!” Minho announced. “We’ve got twenty minutes ‘til the pizza gets here and five ‘til I lose my patience with anymore distractions.”

“Aw, relax!” Han called, waving him off as he sprang to his feet and hoisted you up too. He gave you that reassuring smile, the small soft one he reserved only for you, before nerve-wracking exams and over the fire’s hearth of marshmallow s’mores and late-night cram sessions. “C’mon, Miss Showstopper,” he winked. “Let’s finish this scene so we can eat, but try to look more heartbroken this time. You looked like my aunt when she found out her husband was gonna be gone on a business trip for a few weeks.” 

Though he chuckled as he wandered off, back into the limelight of rolling cameras and goofy stagehands that did more playing than producing, you couldn’t help but smile— you just...couldn’t help it. For you may have lost one moment, but it would be one you could always come back to later, adding it to pages of unwritten script where your story and Han’s collided. There would be many more chances of impromptu, of moments to advance to the climax and savor the journey downhill, towards the final act.

You wanted to tell him, but there would be other days to come. As long as the camera kept rolling, the show would go on.

~⤞★⤝~