#hare's confessionals
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I'm in the corner looking up at you, lifting my shirt up so you can see my tits, bouncing like an excited puppy mouthing "fuck me fuck me fuck me"
#corruption kink#hare's confessional booth#degrade and humiliate me#dumb slvt#needy wh0re#dumb wh0re#degrading k1nk#dyke breaking#fr33use#free use slvt
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For the disciple questions! What is their main love languages, for all 4 of them!
(These are both romantic & platonic)
- Bessa = Words of affirmation - oh, Bessa will sing your praises all day if you let her. Other cult members will come to her for advice and counseling, which is why she’ll run the confessional when Lambert is out on a supply run.
- Fear = Physical touch - despite being a standoffish ol’ hare, Fear’s a touchy guy. Handshakes, firm hugs, nose boops; a part of him deep down worries that they’ll vanish if he lets go
- Hastur = Acts of service/quality time - While not really fond of physical touch, Hastur is usually the first to offer help. “Do you need something?”/“Can I get you anything?”/“How can I help?” He’ll also tend to stick around the people he’s fond of - usually he’ll offer to take them on fishing trips since it’s one of the few places he can escape to
- Panamo = Quality time - Panamo’s a creepy lil’ guy, but usually when they hang around someone it’s because they like them. If they don’t want to be found, you won’t find them at all. (Reference to me somehow managing to lose track of them every damn time I needed them)
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I.. like HareCrow-- I personally just like their dynamic, but I don't consider myself or the ship proship since I don't really view it through a lens of "oh, they waited to be together" or whatever predatory context since Crowfeather didn't really give him much thought up until Hare became deputy with the "why is this younger less experienced warrior deputy over me?" and whatnot
Buut I like their dynamic between them as leader and deputy, a slowburn type deal - Crowfeather going from despising Harestar for becoming deputy so young and having no spine only for him to name Crow as his deputy, Harestar fumbling and looking to Crow to help ground him when he feels out of his depth, Crow growing to understand Hare in his own way and becoming fond of him and respecting him as a leader, Hare finding solace in the support AND respect (at least as a person) -- I then see it as a subtle tripping point down the line, an unspoken "oh, this isn't quite Platonic" / "oh, this isn't quite just Deputy Supporting His Leader anymore"
Maybe it also doesn't ick me out like other ships would (again, I don't identify with proship since it Icks Me Out) since I don't view a lot of ships through the same explicitly one-note romantic lens (maybe because I personally identify as aroacespec?) so I don't see any predatory aspects since I solely see them as two adults working in tandem together so much so they just naturally begin to lean on one another
All that being said, I like HareCrow and it makes me sad that it's so controversial when the specific way I see it and like it isn't and I feel bad because maybe I'm wrong and I missed some detail or something and hnng yeah into the confessional I go
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Think of the power wielded by Satan's Chosen Bride! She can heal, prophesy, predict, conjure up the spirits of the dead, can spell-bind you, turn you into a hare or a wolf, make you find a treasure, and most fatal gift of all, cast a love charm over you there is no escaping! Awful attribute, more terrible than all the rest put together! How should a headstrong spirit, more often than not a wounded spirit, sometimes one altogether soured by disappointment, fail to use such a weapon for the satisfaction of hatred and revenge, and sometimes for the indulgence of perverse and foul proclivities? The secrets of the Confessional were no secrets to her,—secrets of sins committed and of sins to come. Every man is her slave by her knowledge of some shameful incident of his past, and his still viler aspirations for the future. She is the confidante of deformities of body and of mind, and of the lascivious ardours of a poisoned and heated blood, of morbid, overmastering longings that fiercely torment the flesh with a thousand needle-pricks of concupiscence. All come to her and make her their shameful avowals with a reckless and brutal candour. They seek the boon of life, of death, of healing medicines and poisonous drugs. To her comes the poor weeping girl who has been betrayed, to ask means for procuring abortion. To her the stepmother (an incident of the commonest in the Middle Ages) to complain how her first husband's brat eats and eats and will not die. To her the woe-begone matron, worn out year after year with children that are only born to die. Appealing to her compassion, she is told the way to paralyse pleasure at the supreme instant and make it barren. On the other hand, there comes a stripling, ready at any cost to buy the sovran brew that will trouble a high-born lady's heart, and making her forget distinctions of rank and place, turn her gentle looks towards her little page.
Jules Michelet
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I've let go of the ritual around it.
The fox and hare stalking.
One of us will die.
We'll both have blood in our mouths.
The story is the same.
— 3 a.m. Notes App Confessional, a.k.
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Ep. 4: “Wow my team is shit!!!” - Lysandre
Joey G
So I’ve had a really busy few days, but luckily my connection with Felix not only scored me a spot on my OG tribe’s majority alliance, but I also ended up with him on the swap tribe and leveraged his connections to join a new majority alliance with Lysandre and Raul. Now that work seems to be slowing down a bit, I have to kick it into high gear to secure my position on the tribe as well as make bonds that can help me come merge time.
Charlie
I feel very confident about my vote this tribal, pretty sure I won't be blindsided either
Apollo
You wanted some tea sis? Well here you go! The bruschetta alliance is probably really weak as in power sense but I think we’re strong as in our connections with each other. A tribe swapped occurred and thank god I bonded with Felix and the rest of the bruschetta alliance did as well. We all ended up on his tribe and I’m grateful to be on the safe tribe this round. The tea is? I really like Felix but I kind of want to vote him out at the first chance possible. He’s really good at challenges (and yes I’m completely basing this off of a puzzle score) and his charisma is far too high and he’s really likeable. He’s a fucking threat. And yes I do Iike him a lot but I want to be the prom king not the runner up.
Lysandre
Hi this iis Lysandre the Lion and the lier coming at you live from the WHAT THE FUCK IM ON MEA NOW.
Lysandre
Ok so there was no swap and we are back on our OG tribes until MERGE and that makes me feel so bad because It makes my chances of using the idol go up by a bunch! and PLUS THE NEW CHALLENGE IS A SCAVENGER HUNT, aka my least favorite challenge ever.
Felix
"Alright so big things have happened since my last confessional. First off, I can't believe Jay pulled that Twistos twist on us! I was so ready to move on with my alliance with Raul, Lysandre, and Joey. Plus, I was also ready to create an alliance with Apollo with whomever he deemed worthy. Oh, well. At least that means I do not have to betray anyone yet. Plus, it means that I get back with Tuai Quad LLC which means Cassie cannot use her advantage on me. Overall, this twist didn't hurt me, but I would've liked more time to establish bonds. Oh well. At least this means I have like 3 alliances at merge if all of those people make it to the merge.
Joey says that we should keep the Golden Alliance between us. I guess that's fine. I mean if it ever comes to light then I do have an excuse ready. Though I don't know how well it would work. Plus, it makes him think we have this hared secret together and that we are this Final 2 duo. It'll be good to keep up a good reputation with him.
Cassie says she wants to target Marie at merge. That could be a risky and game-changing move on her part if it succeeds. She sees Marie as the head of the Mea tribe, so it'd be good to get rid of her. To be honest, it wouldn't be such a bad thing for Cassie to target Marie. After all, it would put the target on her back and not mine if the move goes through or not. Depending on my decision to side with either Tuai or Mea, it could put me in the best position in the game. I'd definitely be playing the middle in that case. Though I should not forget that Sumi also exists. They are probably the underdogs of this season, but I can't let hem go unnoticed. As long as I can keep playing the middle, I'll be golden. Hopefully, we can vote out someone irrelevant on the first tribal at merge to keep the two sides butting heads.
I don't know how well I will do in this challenge though. The Scavenger Hunt is always hit or miss for me. However, even if we do go to tribal, it'll definitely be Charlie who will get voted out. I think of Charlie as wildcard in this scenario. I cannot have him get to merge because I basically don't talk to him. He could easily flip on me and Tuai. Let's see how this goes."
Zest
woah jay! you really got me thinking I made the merge. Anyways, hyped for this scavenger hunt.
Brianna
Kind of. Really wish. We didn’t have to go back to our original tribes. Ugh. It’s a scavenger hunt competition and we had to sit one person out. No one was saying anything so I got randomly picked to sit out. I mean. I was fine with it. But we are less than 24 hours away from the challenge being finished and we have zero points. I can’t count on anyone on sumi. And if I end up getting voted out because of this I will throw a fit.
Marie
Wow, my closest ally left the game. I hope everything is ok! And I’m hoping lys Raul and I can stick together
Apollo
"Nobody: ...
Jay: it wasn’t a real swap! Go back to your old tribes until merge!
Me: https://68.media.tumblr.com/6f9f874d5d67596a06b123e372d682ee/tumblr_inline_og1vygJXEY1usj39c_500.gif"
Apollo
Anyways in all seriousness, I’m pretty shook that we’re staying in these tribes until merge if the merge is at f11. If it’s at f13 then no big deal. Borris and I have majority with Zest and Bradley and Brianna think they’re sitting pretty until we lose anyways and Zest knows about the foursome made without him so ideally I’m in a good spot with Borris. I would like to keep us all as long as possible but I’m very much not going to be upset if we lose Brianna and Bradley. Fuck it might even be good to be perceived as the weaker tribe going into merge. If we’re the “strongest” tribe then people are going to want to pick us off at the start and I’m not here for that.......Maybe....maybe we need to lose a challenge or two
Flint
This weeks immunity challenge is a blast but also a little more difficult then I had expected. Felix Cassie and I are doing our best and I hope it keeps Tuai out of trouble for one more round!
Flint
There has been a little whispering of idol talk and it’s kinda got me nervous. A few tribe mates have said they gone out hunting but also mentioned they believe someone already found it. I suspect that it’s Joey because he’s been a bit quiet so maybe he feels comfortable sitting back a bit with an idol in his pocket.
Felix
Kathleen quitting is kind of a shame. That means I can't work with her in the future, and I was already laying down the groundwork for it. Oh, well. At least now the pact I made with her and Raul can't be spread around or broken. I hope we don't go to tribal. I really don't have the mental energy for it. Plus, I didn't do that well in the challenge so maybe they'll just send me home. Who knows? All I know is that Charlie is getting my vote if we go to tribal.
Felix
I'm kind of sad that Mea is going to tribal again. They are the ones that I bonded with the most during the One World, and it is a shame to see such active people go home one by one. I hope it's Raul who goes because he's the least talkative out of Marie and Lysandre. Plus, I've talked to the other two extensively and have built strong bonds with them. We'll see what happens, but this is such a shame. Plus, if Marie stays then Cassie will still be able to target her still.
Zest
"what a fun scavenger hunt challenge. I am so grateful for my tribe. I also am really enjoying having an alliance. I hope to find something on an idol hunt soon. This competition is really starting to AMP UP!"
Lysandre
Wow my team is shit!!! Also I'm going to miss Steph- I mean Kathleen! So the challenge went terribly. Marie submitted like 6 items and Raul really carried the team with his 0 items what a legend. We are going to tribal as a tribe of 3 which is... new and I'm literally so pressd.
Cassie
I guess you could say I went a bit all out for this particular challenge. It was super fun to go around looking for stuff. Our tribe is doing really well still and we're anticipating a merge soon. We still have the numbers and I hope we can stick around to the final 5. Go Tuai!
Lysandre
I'm thinking of something iconic to say as an episode title but the flopness of my tribe keeps alerting Jay of Tribal Council.
Flint
Tuai lives to see another day! Watching Mea dwindle to 2 players after tonight is crazy to think about. I feel lucky to be apart of such a strong tribe and hope we stay aligned once we hit the merge, but I have a gut feeling someone from Tuai will flip and join the other players
Brianna
"Heheh it’s okay we won"
Marie
Wow, I think we’re the worst tribe in online survivor history
Felix
I can't believe that Apollo had a "Leaders Alliance" with Cassie and Marie. How shookening is that? He runs his mouth about starting an alliance with me, but already has one with people he considers the "leaders" of his tribe? Nah nah nah. He's way smarter than he lets on. He may think I'm a pawn and a good personality, but I am going to go after him at merge. Marie doesn't matter since she has no numbers and no tribe to fall back on. Apollo has been slowly building alliances with probably Zest, Boris, and/or Brianna. They're probably really tight at this point, so we need to be very careful of how we tread with Apollo. He needs to go. I think how it should go at merge would be (Random Non-Tuai Person) -> Marie (for Cassie's good side) -> Apollo (a big threat and we'd have the numbers if Tuai would work together) -> Cassie (cause she'd be a threat too). Tbh, I want everyone in that Leaders Alliance gone because if they think they're the top dogs then they got to go. They'd be too much of a threat as the numbers close down. And I want their blood all over my hands.
Felix
"I cannot just passively play this game lol. I'm currently trying to plant seeds in Flint's and Cassie's heads about Sumi's potential threat. They scare me the most going into merge because they are a big unknown factor. They have just as many people on their tribe as us, and we barely know anything about them or their play style. Cassie seems on board to keeping Marie around for a little bit, but we need to start taking care of Sumi's numbers. If Boris is right, then they all shouldn't be too inactive so it'll be easy to convince people to take out inactive people. I just hope we can convince Marie and Lysandre to take out Sumi as well.
One good thing to take away from all this is that I am not seen as a leader, just very active. It paints a target on Cassie's back and not my own. They'll be going after her first. I'll just have to play along with this narrative until I stab her in the back. "
Charlie
I feel like ill be up for elimination this week because I sat out of the challenge. Its making me really nervous tbh
Marie
3 person tribes are very hard to navigate. You feel on top but on the bottom at the same time! It’s really weird because raul thinks it’s lys, but lys and I voted for raul. But I don’t know if lys actually voted for raul???? What if they voted for me?
Joey
we went back to our original tribes, so i’m now reunited with the majority alliance. i didn’t have to do the challenge, i don’t have to go to tribal, and we still have charlie as someone on the outs if we ever lose a challenge. my path to merge is set!
Marie
This is the most silent I’ve seen our tribe and it’s scary
Apollo
Ummmm Fuck Mea’s drag? I guess
Marie
Wow this game makes me feel like a horrible person. I thought I’d get through this with no regrets but having to comfort the person you voted for and telling them they aren’t going home sucks
Raul
I'm probably going home unless I pull off the impossible like this is gonna be a mess I really hope, I don't leave cause that would be a shame , I really really hope I convinced Marie to vote out lys and lys doesn't want Marie here it could be a 1-1-1 vote wouldn't that be cute
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Hello! Were you able to watch the Hare Matsuri 2016 video that you just reblogged? I tried but it shows the Video uploader's account got terminated :(
hello, yes, I watched it some time ago, but its cut in some parts and doesnt include subs; but I also summarized it even if you didnt ask for itpart 0.1 (classic yorozuya conversation / entrance of seiyuus)part 1 (outfit / confessional / mirror / festival)part 2 (confessional / tama-san / shinigami / feigned illness)part 3 (feigned illness / afro / confessional / shinpachi porn magazines)part 4 (confessional / lottery ticket / confessional / soul switch)part 5 (shogun assassination, the end is pretty sad, the seiyuu suffers as well..)part 6 (farewell shinsengumi)part 7 (farewell shinsengumi)part 8 (some talking lmao what is this 15:00 / DOES!!!)part 9 (seiyuus of old characters we all miss and also talking)part 10 (also some talking)part 11 (mitsuba arc..)
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John Giorno Interview: Inside William Burroughs' Bunker from Louisiana Channel on Vimeo.
Step inside ‘The Bunker’ in New York, the windowless former apartment of the legendary writer William S. Burroughs, and let yourself be guided around – from Burroughs’ typewriter to his shooting target – by its current resident, the iconic poet John Giorno.
William S. Burroughs lived several places throughout his life. Between 1975-82 the drug addict and writer – famous not least for his automatic writing in books like ‘Naked Lunch’– lived in 222 Bowery, one of New York’s first YMCAs in the 1880s. Performance poet John Giorno has lived at the address since the early 1960s and was delighted to host his friend and colleague, who lived in the basement for seven years and dubbed the windowless space ‘The Bunker’.
“He was a brilliant transcendent writer, but he was more brilliant here,” Giorno recalls and explains how Burroughs was high from nine in the morning, and then would have vodkas and joints at five o’clock in the afternoon. Giorno himself would join him, albeit a bit later in the day: “Doing that for those endless years and years, that was a lesson – not sure what the lesson is though.” Having downed several more bottles of vodka and smoked more joints, Burroughs and his guests would shoot at the target poster, which still has its original bullet holes.
John Giorno has been using ‘The Bunker’ as a guest room for visiting friends and today everything has been restored and kept like it was when Burroughs lived there: the target poster, the typewriter, the gun magazines and the desk all set for someone to sit down and write. We also get to see the ‘Orgone box’ – a box invented by psychoanalyst William Reich, who believed that orgones are vibratory atmospheric atoms of the life-principle, which can be concentrated as a creative substratum. “And if you sat in there you would collect orgone energy of the universal power,” Giorno adds.
Burroughs “always believed there could be chaos and catastrophe, so every house should have a vessel to be able to save enough water to live for four days. So that’s why that was there,” says Giorno about the big water tank on the floor. Giorno also shows us Burroughs’ lamp, which is made from a – still functioning – rifle from the Civil War, as well as his BB gun: “It's a generational thing of his, coming of age as a young person in the 1920s and 30s, living in the country in St. Louis, and also outside, and being alone and being frail. I don't think his family were shooters, somehow it entered his life, all of those things.”
John Giorno (b. 1936) is an American poet and one of the most influential figures in contemporary performance poetry with his intensely rhythmic and philosophical poetry. He has published a wide range of poetic works such as the collection ‘You Got to Burn to Shine’, spoken words with William S. Burroughs and Laurie Anderson. In 1962, Giorno was the subject of Andy Warhol’s 6-hour movie ‘Sleep’. Giorno has also created Giorno Poetry Systems, which has published more than 40 spoken LP’s with acclaimed artists such as Allen Ginsberg and Patti Smith.
William S. Burroughs (b. William Seward Burroughs II in 1914 – d. 1997) was an American writer and artist. He was a primary figure of the Beat Generation and a major influence in popular culture and literature, he wrote eighteen novels and novellas, six collections of short stories and four collections of essays, found success with his confessional first novel ‘Junkie’ (1953) but is best known for his highly controversial third novel ‘Naked Lunch’ (1959). Along with artist, writer and poet Brion Gysin, Burroughs re-invented the literary cut-up technique in works such as ‘The Nova Trilogy’ (1961-1964). Much of Burroughs’ work is semi-autobiographical, primarily drawn from his experiences as a heroin addict. In 1951, he accidentally killed his wife Joan Vollmer with a pistol during a drunken ‘William Tell’ game and was consequently convicted of manslaughter. Through the years, Burroughs also created and exhibited thousands of paintings and other visual artworks, including his celebrated ‘Gunshot Paintings’. He did not, however, exhibit his artwork until 1987, and for last 10 years of his life, he presented his paintings and drawings at museums and galleries worldwide. He died at his home in Kansas after suffering a heart attack in 1997.
John Giorno was interviewed by Christian Lund in New York City in October 2017.
In the video, John Giorno reads from his poem ‘The Death of William Burroughs’ (1997).
Photographs used in the video: Photo of William Burroughs (1989) - Courtesy of John Giorno Archives, Photo of William Burroughs with John Giorno and Keith Haring (1987) - Courtesy of Kate Simon, Photo of William Burroughs in the Bunker (1979) - Courtesy of Kate Simon
Camera: Mathias Nyholm Edited by: Roxanne Bagheshirin Lærkesen Produced by: Christian Lund Copyright: Louisiana Channel, Louisiana Museum of Modern Art, 2018
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there could be so much sexual tension in the power dynamic between an author and their character
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The Weather Station
The Hare and Hounds, Kings Heath Wednesday 31st January 2018

When is it that we start to see and hear everything in terms of the past. As a youngster, music, films, art can be taken at face value, it is something you either like or you don’t. Thus the energy and spectacle of T Rex was enjoyed without being aware of the fairly basic chord progressions that many would be able to pick up within a few months of first strumming a guitar. The glitter and flamboyance gave Bolan his star quality but musically he did little that had not been done before. It didn’t matter and even now hearing “Get It On” or “Jeepster” brings back the excitement of the time, place and innocence of when this magnificent pop first entered my world. This past, however, exerts itself over music we come to later, setting an impossibly high bar against which we judge what we hear. As we listen to new bands, singers, records and so on we hear their references, the influences that have shaped their music against which, to our ears at least, they seem little more than pale imitators. For a teenager growing up in the 90s, first hearing “Live Forever” must have given the same thrill as “Metal Guru” had done for me twenty years earlier. With years of music to draw on, however, it exists within a context shaped by its influences, dulling the thrill and preventing us being carried along by its compelling simplicity.

Whilst an awareness of how an artist uses their influences to shape their music can enhance our enjoyment of it, too often it makes us lazy; seeking simple comparisons that fail to see how they have been absorbed and developed and how the rules have been applied or broken to achieve the sound. Admittedly, sometimes the artist themselves joins the dots a little too obviously so that the comparisons become inevitable. Two years ago, Ryley Walker toured with Danny Thompson as if to draw attention to the jazz chords and rhythms of 70s British folk, in particular John Martyn, that he had used for his album “Primrose Green”. His music, however, showed that this only represented part of the story and he has combined a breadth of these influences to produce a sound that is entirely his own. Likewise, in introducing the song “I Mined”, Tamara Lindeman notes the importance in her music of another Canadian singer/songwriter, Neil Young. Lindeman’s song was written in response to hearing Young’s “Heart of Gold”, contrasting his assertion that at its deepest level the quest would lead to something spiritual and precious with her own experience of finding only deeper levels of darkness, “And all I’d see hidden underneath only served to make me lonely”. Its insightful but world weary lyrics are typical; her youthful features and the long blonde hair that falls down her back make her seem a lot younger than her 32 years but her words are those of someone who understands the difficulty of building and sustaining relationships with others and the complexity of her own emotions. Young’s influence can be seen in a set that meanders through delicate acoustic moments where the audience were spellbound into silence to loud screeching rock. Listening to the confidence of her playing and a voice that within the same line can progress from a deep and resonant contralto to a light wispy falsetto, the name of another Canadian pushed its way into my lazy mind; Joni Mitchell.

Since the early 70s almost every woman who has picked up a guitar and strummed a few chords has had to stand comparisons with Mitchell, not the first woman to make it in an overwhelmingly male world but certainly one off the first to do so on their own terms. For Lindeman, however, the comparison can withstand a little scrutiny. Her confessional lyrics show a self awareness and deprecation that can be painful, she is an acute observer of others and can identify their motives and failings with precision and her songs are structured to convey the poetry in her words. Unusual tunings create unexpected chords and song structures take surprising diversions with changes in rhythm and key used to unsettling effect. The sparse “Personal Eclipse” or the intricacy of “Free” do recall Mitchell’s 70s classics but Lindeman’s creativity is strong enough to take her beyond any lazy attempt to describe her as the next Joni. “You and I (On the Other Side of the World)” and “Kept It All to Myself`” both move along at a sprightly tempo, disguising the doubt and loss in the words with a sublime melody and a lively beat.

Lindeman returns to the hushed acoustic folk of her earlier work for a short interlude at about the mid point of the set while, with no where for them to hide, the band site awkwardly at the side of the stage. Returning, the grungy guitar quickly starts to raise the decibels showing just how much Lindeman has expanded and developed her sound from the sparse delicacy of those beginnings. The strings that provided such wonderfully rich textures on the most recent album could never be recreated in the confines of the Hare and Hounds but the power of “Impossible”, “Black Flies” and in particular “Thirty” mean that they are not missed. The jaunty rhythm of the latter brings the set its fiery conclusion with guitar stand off between Lindeman and Will Kidman. With little room at the side of the stage, the band make their way awkwardly through the audience before the singer calls them back, taking the energy levels down a little for the haunting encore of “Tapes”. The response was every bit as enthusiastic as the wonderfully varied set deserved.

With four albums behind her Tamara (pronounced as she tells us at the start to rhyme with camera) Lindeman is well into her career but it is in developing her music from the acoustic setting she used on her earlier albums that she has begun to find a larger audience. Admittedly The Hare and Hounds is not a large venue, there may have been a large proportion of elderly Uncut readers there and at £8 a ticket it is difficult to see how they make the tour pay but, as she says, this is her first visit to Birmingham and the enthusiasm of the audience should start to see the interest in her growing. A former child actor, she once appeared alongside Jennifer Lopez, Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon in the film “Shall We Dance”, she shows an innate grasp of how to present her music and she held the audience throughout the show. That, along with the craft and creativity in her songwriting, suggests that despite the quality of the music heard tonight she may only just be starting to tap into her full potential. It is likely that her next visit to Birmingham will be to somewhere larger making the intimacy of the show tonight one to remember. A presence in my mind in her own right no longer framed by those Canadian singer/songwriters who went before.

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force me to keep inhaling until there are tears streaming down my cheeks and I promise to pretend I don't see your dick twitching at the sight of me crying
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i guess it's good to have confirmation that our best is everyone's elses mediocre. lack of effort. doesn't care enough. etc.
#hare's confessionals#if you're gonna read this zack. I dont know#just try not to consider me selfish. i guess.#vent#I dont know why we cant just fucking do it. fucking remember the shit we're supposed to#they seem so convinced theyd be happier alone that its hard not to believe them#something always slips through the cracks. even when we're putting all the effort we can its not good enough for long enough#i don't know how to change in any meaningful way nothing we do works#and what we can do isnt enough.#so much effort and its nothing because our 100 is everyone elses 50 or some shit.#maybe we're just not meant to be happy. because our brain sure seems dedicated to making sure we fuck it up#maybe i should just start packing so when they decide to abandon us because they cant wait anymorewe'll be ready at least#we want them to be happy. and obviously we're hindering that more than helping.#i don't even want to mention how many times we've thought itd probably be better if we kmsd because the moment i do is the moment they check#maybe its not worth noting anything we do when theres so much we forgot or didn't do#even if he DID read any of this its not like anything would change. fuck i dont even want to think about if he did and was just disappointed#cause all we seem to be good at is being disappointments#desperately trying to keep ourselves afloat with our interests but of course it just seems like we're not taking anything seriously#not good enough at initiating sex not good enough at chores not good enough at even keeping them from getting angry at us#every time i see one of his posts i just feel hollow and worthless#because its just an open page of everything om doing wrong and yet i STILL cant fix myself#it is the worst. knowing how you're screwed and not knowing how to do anything about it#the only reason we have this fucking account anymore is to watch him post every time we fuck up so we can learn and be better#and look what good thats done
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I could be a stag but that's not the answer.
am I at least on the right track?
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Stag ?
It's a name for a male deer, and it's got an a. I figured it was a good guess
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getting a good grade in intern. which is normal to want and possible to achieve.
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if i were one if these people in smut fics that tries text a fwb and texts the whole group chat abt being horny I would kill myself, sorry. if the gc is dtf they better show up quick bc I'm about to fling myself out a window
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