#have bde just by existing

[astrobydalia]

The different inner placements for each sign — observations+ranking

by astrobydalia

Disclaimer: these are based on my personal experience and opinions!!

Aries

Mercury: so insanely smart and fast thinkers. Very real, straight to the point and say-it-like-it-is kind of people, love them. I could hear them talk all day

ASC: most authentic people you'll meet!!! What you see is what you get. Also very spontaneous and effortlessly fun

Venus: love, so fun to be around and specially the women with this placement they're soooo hot

Sun, Mars: these are very similar imo. so loyal and protective people but they tend to be pretty crass and often come across as rude unintentionally. Aries Suns are more blunt and outspoken while Aries Mars can be more chill but they're more prone to attracting hate. Great people to have in your corner overall.

Moon: Stubborn as fuck. Not open to understanding anything beyond themselves so they tend go around life with HUGE tunnel vision. Trying to reason/negotiate with them is nearly impossible

Taurus

Moon: my god, you won't know emotional intelligence, calmness and care until you meet a Taurus Moon like DAMN. Their patience, empathy and sense of boundaries is just impecable

ASC: their energy is sooooo soothing like ugh. They have a very cute and comforting aura, very magnetic people and naturally gorgeous

Mercury: they speak slow or not too much but once they let a full sentence out it's usually GOLD

Sun: hmmmm they do tend to be kinda full of themselves but they have BDE and are pretty hot so I'll give them that

Mars: VOICE is soooo good. However they tend to be low-key problematic tbh. Will get very snappy and petty real quick

Venus: I know this is venus's domicile but... most taurus venus I've seen were low-key kinda..... harsh and stern in their love style?? And not all that loyal if im honest with you, they're only loyal when they see personal benefit/satisfaction. It’s true that they’ll spoil you if they truly love you tho

Gemini

Mars: comeback queens/kings, also very multi-talented. What else can I say they always manage to be so iconic

Moon: out of all gemini placements they're the most likely to sit down and really listen to you. Can be too honest, another say-it-like-it-is placement. Comforting others is not their forte but they're very tolerant and patient

Venus: golden retriever energy, extroverted and popular and I've said this before but they can be very loyal!!

Sun: they are cool and so so funny but can also be veeeeery immature and a bit self-righteous. I love them but that bad press they have in pop culture exists for a reason that's all im gonna say

ASC: they're very intelligent and entertaining but gemini on the asc is such a messy placement imo cause they have an identity/existencial crisis at least twice a day which can make them kinda chaotic people to have in your life (love you guys tho)

Mercury: talking with them is VERY annoying tbh. They will just roughly listen to what you say just keep interrupting and eventually start their own monologue. They ain't listening they aren't even wanting for their turn to speak they're just waiting for whatever opportunity to speak

Cancer

Mercury: such good listeners!! also they are very honest and genuine with what they say like aries mercury but more tactful

Venus: this placement soothes down the most fiery personality. They are very loved and inexplicably magnetic

ASC: mommy issues. I love their intuition and they are really good at creating community wherever they go but my only complaint is they are defensive 24/7

Moon: hit or miss. Either really emotionally mature person that wants to take care of everyone or very immature and childish with a victim complex

Sun: huge attention seekers. Insecure, codependent and always looking for validation. Tend to portray themselves as innocent/clueless/harmless, etc.

Mars: these are SLY motherfuckers, they scare me more than scorpio mars

Leo

Moon: I have to admit this placement surprised me for the better. Yes they can be egotistical and entitled but when developed leo moons are very profound and passionate people with strong morals and are really good at inspiring others and lifting them up

Sun: the main character complex rumors may or may not be true but their magnetism and charm is undeniable

Mars: extremely prideful, my way or the highway kinda attitude, but they’re usually pretty harmless people from what I’ve seen. Their anger can be intense but they let it go easily after some dramatic moment. Dedicated.

ASC: daddy issues central. Known to be the most introverted leo placement but they’re very very very attached to their pride underneath. They really do wanna be/feel special and unique to the point of keeping most people at arm’s length cause that’s how much they wanna distinct themselves

Mercury: won’t hesitate to change topics if they don’t care what is being talked about or it has nothing to do with them. Laser focused on their interests tho that’s pretty cool

Venus: yeah they're generous but also a bit overbearing and low-key snotty. Tendency to associate themselves with people they don’t like all that much just because it gives them status or cause they get to receive lavish treatment

Virgo

Mars: omfg I love this placement so much. They handle conflict with SO much grace and embody all the good traits of virgo (capable, responsible, hard workers, great to work with, helpful, self-accountable....) *lady gaga's voice* talented brilliant incredible amazing show-stopping spectacular-

Venus: genuinely very responsable, dedicated and loyal in their relationships and commitments. I always find myself often complimenting their style and fashion choices

Mercury: a bit of a menace bc they can be good liars but they're always very very talented individuals in whatever it is they do

ASC: pretty self-serving tbh and often come across as goody-two-shoes or know-it-alls but they're alright for the most part. The virgo placement that has it the LEAST together tbh

Moon: they'll be there for you when you need help or advice but they can be pretty judgmental. They have a tendency to not really give people some grace. If they genuinely like you tho they’ll be extremely appreciative of everything you do right. Supportive

Sun: Very standoffish personality. Hard on themselves on the surface but probably also has a hidden superiority complex. The only placement where I prefer the men over the women

Libra

Moon: least superficial libra placement. Very introspective, sweet and find it really easy to understand other's emotions in an unbiased way

Mercury: invented the concept of understanding and voicing other perspectives with necessarily agreeing. Mind of their own.

Venus: superficial and obsessed with the opposite sex? Yes. Extremely devoted in all their relationships? Also yes.

Sun: meh. I keep having this experience with Libra Suns where I think they're great at first but then they end up being... not so great after some time. They're not bad really but their air-headedness makes them very unreliable

ASC: Their charm is manipulative and can easily hide a shitty personality underneath (not always the case tho). They're also the most emotionally superficial/detached of the bunch

Mars: hypocrates, huge huge hypocrates. Dubious morality. Playing devils advocate

Scorpio

Sun: they mind their own business and are really good at picking their battles wisely, only taking out their “dark” energy when it’s needed

Mars: don’t bother them and they won’t bother you. That’s the golden rule. Otherwise they’re pretty chill and unproblematic, dark humor enjoyers and strong-willed. I won’t say they’re completely drama free but hey

Mercury: they’ll be open to talk about anything, you can tell them literally anything and will listen intently without judgement. They can easily use info against others or withhold info tho so make sure they can be trusted

ASC: y’all low-key enjoy toxicity and drama but you don’t wanna admit it!!! They really thrive in uncomfortable situations and probably likes gossip too. One of the most black-or-white mindset placements

Venus: yeah not the best in relationships. They don’t really give their all and when they do give something it’s never unconditional. Relationships are always a power dynamic to them

Moon: Very tricky placement. Life has not been kind to them oof. Either they’re very traumatized people with a good heart deep down or very traumatized people with a really ugly and nasty soul. They also romanticize psychopaths and antisocial behaviors for some reason?????

Sagittarius

ASC: yes Im biased I don't care. But, be honest, when have you met a sag asc that wasn't cool af? Case closed. Life's good as a sag asc and when it's not, we make it that way

Sun: if you keep the men out of the equation sag suns are amazing!!! Their personality is like a breath of fresh air

Mercury: soso profound and intelligent. Will introduce you to new perspectives, great researchers. So good at finding answers and solutions!!!

Venus: Very open-minded, they are genuinely very accepting of literally any kind of person! They will applaud and celebrate your differences and quirks however they tend to be flighty and pretty light on their feet

Moon: Anger issues!!! Very volatile and defensive people underneath that chill and funny persona. They have well-known beef with someone. Don't like admitting their wrong, prone to ghosting everyone 99% of the times

Mars: the most entitled and rude out of all the sagittarius placements. The type to laugh in your face and never take accountability, their attitude can be revolting if you ask me

Capricorn

Venus: they make me MELT. So incredibly attractive, reliable, such an impecable taste, the way they treat you will bring you to your knees like ugh I can't

Mars: most resilient individuals I've seen truly!! Literally nothing will bring them down. So so ambitious, focused and have endless energy love them

Sun: cap suns and I have natural synergy. They're very level-headed, reliable, loyal and mature. However they are huge fatalists, very pessimistic and my jupiterian ass ain’t got time for that

ASC: too obsessed with their status and/or how they're perceived compared to others in their circle like sis stop caring sm what others think and live a little!!!

Mercury: listen, these folks can be very intelligent and well-read, but they tend to come across as narrow-minded or bigoted sometimes with the things the say or how they say things

Moon: I wanna root for y'all cap moons but being honest I've seen this placement is very common in really toxic personalities. They hold lots of past resentments and can be very judgmental and mean similar to virgo moons

Aquarius

ASC: socially adaptable but they stay true to themselves at the same time. Attractive, loyal and fresh personality/presence.

Mars: veeeery likable and popular. They really are dedicated to making an impact on the people

Sun: when they just simply focus on being themselves and doing their own thing they're very genuinely special and chill people and great friends! However when they care too much about being making themselves special they're very egocentric and unnecessarily problematic

Venus: messy placement. Very welcoming but they have big trust issues. They go back and forth between 'everyone loves me' and 'everyone hates me' and so they act accordingly....

Mercury: super intelligent, great in debates and very convincing, they always make great points. However the god complex is BLATANT here, they really think they're the only one that's right

Moon: another deeply traumatized placement. They can be great advocates for the collective however they tend to lack empathy specially when it comes to interpersonal relationships

Pisces

Sun: rough around the edges at first but they are a lot more helpless and vulnerable than they seem on the surface. Also they are genuinely really good at disappearing??? You won't even notice they're gone. Their presence is striking tho

Mercury: "idk what the fuck she's saying but girl I am living!". They have such a rich inner world I can't. SEDUCTIVE

ASC: they are... functioning humans. They go around life not being completely sure of what's going on but hey that Jupiter is somehow making everything work for them

Moon: "There is an idea of Pisces Moons, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real them. Only an entity, something illusory. And though they can hide their wondering gaze, and you can shake their hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense your life styles are probably comparable, they simply are not there"

Venus: I've already spilled the tea on this placement. Next.

Mars: ever person I've seen with this placement was mentally unwell like, severely. They're doormats for the most part but there's this hidden side of them that can turn into a total demon

by astrobydalia

[artyandink]

𝙾𝙻𝙳 𝙵𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙴𝙳 | bartender!dean winchester

Summary: Dean Winchester needs a job after his little brother left for Stanford, and he’s good at mixing drinks. You happen to work at Harvelle’s Roadhouse, which is the place he chose to work at. He finds a family. He finds a new life. But he also finds you. But you have problems of your own.

A/N - My first reader series, do make sure to comment and/or reblog feedback. Set with S1/2 Dean cause I love our baby boy 😁 and pretend group chats exist on old phones lol

A/N 2 - All the chapters are named after drinks. The intensity of the chapter depends on the drink I chose for the title :) and banners are by @cafekitsune

TW: Alcohol (duh), mentions of drugs, roofies, abuse, mentions of abuse/r@pe, smoking, Ruby (she’s a warning in itself), unhinged group chat (also a warning in itself)

two - daiquiri

Megolodon: Cassieeee

Casanova: What?

Megolodon: You’re late

You: Yeahhhh, we’ve been waiting for weeks

Ben Dover: Sabbatical’s over, brother

Casanova: I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.

Ruby-gina George: To hell with fifteen minutes, get your ass over here

Megolodon: Listen to the nice lady

Ruby-gina George: Shut up

Megolodon: Bite me

Ruby-gina George: Keep it up and I just might

Megolodon: I bet you’d like to

bDe: didn’t know you two swung that way

You: Neither did I

Ruby-gina George: WAIT NO

ScarJo: That’s news to me

Ben Dover: News to all of us, darling

Queen B: I leave for FIVE MINUTES and we’re already out of the closet

Ruby-gina George: NO CLOSETS

Ruby-gina George: HELL NO

Ruby-gina George: NO CLOSETS

Megolodon: THAT WASN’T THE MEANING-

ScarJo: We accept you, dw

Ruby-gina George: die in a hole

bDe: sounds like overcompensating

Ruby-gina George: ALL OF YOU DIE IN A HOLE

The clink of glasses filled the atmosphere, along with merry shouts, whistles and cheers as glass after glass slammed down onto the counter. But it wasn’t patrons, no. Afternoons were always chilled out, since not many patrons stopped by. The evenings always got the raunchiest. So here you all were, egging on Castiel and Benny in a shot contest. There were five shots of the Roadhouse’s strongest bottle of hard liquor, and you were all seeing who could down them the fastest. None of the people in the room were lightweights. There were lightweights, heavyweights, and then there were the bartenders at the Roadhouse, who Meg liked to call ‘jumbo-weights’.

“DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!” You were yelling, your voice mixed with those of Dean, Meg, Bela, Ruby and Jo. Benny finished first, slamming down the shot glass and whooping loudly, not even that buzzed while Cas dejectedly sipped his last shot, having missed by the fraction of a second.

“Cassie, sweetie, don’t beat yourself up about it.” Meg purred, gripping Cas’ shoulders tightly from behind. “You’re out of practice.”

“Or maybe I’m just good at throwing ‘em back.” Benny smirked, but then his smile dropped. “That sounded better in my head.”

“Glad we can agree.” You snickered, then cleared up the shot glasses. “C’mon, what next?”

“Meg.” Ruby shot up from her seat, beckoning her over. “You. Me. Shot challenge. Now.”

“So polite.” Meg drawled, but got up anyway, a familiar sultry smile on her lips as she lined up for the competition. “Bring it on, darling, I can do this in my sleep.” Benny racked the shots, a giggle coming from your mouth as Dean awkwardly looked to Castiel.

“I don’t think we’ve met.” Dean smiled, putting his hand out. “Dean. Winchester.”

“Castiel Novak, but everyone calls me Cas.” Cas shook Dean’s hand, finding himself warming up to this stranger.

“Cas.” Dean repeated under his breath, then nodded. “Alright, Cas. Let’s get you some water to wash down that hard liquor.”

“That would be ideal.” Cas nodded, instantly following Dean. In the meantime, Ruby and Meg were slamming back shots, and Ruby was just tagging behind Meg. You were egging them on, but you noticed something. Ruby usually downed shots easy as breathing. Now she wasn’t, which confused you. However, you brushed it off. It couldn’t be something bad. Your resident Regina George always was tough as hell.

Ruby-gina George: Been there, done that messed around

Megolodon: I'm having fun, don't put me down

Ruby-gina George: I'll never let you sweep me off my feet

Megolodon: THIS TIME BABY, I’LL BE BULLETPROOFFFFFF

You: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUU

bDe: *dies of laughter*

ScarJo: I’ve been on a beer run for FIVE MINUTES and y’all go mad

Queen B: Tsk tsk, eyes on the road, hon

ScarJo: Joke’s on you, I’m in the store

Ben Dover: Damn, how’d you get there so fast

ScarJo: I stole the keys to Val

Queen B: explosion incoming-

You: You did WHAT?!

ScarJo: I’M SORRY SHE’S A FAST CAR

You: YOU’RE GONNA PAY

Megolodon: Girlie, it’s just a car

Ruby-gina George: how dare you, Val’s a masterpiece

Megolodon: I mean, she shouldn’t take it that heavily

bDe: no she absolutely should, go to town sweetheart

You: THANK YOU

Ben Dover: Dean, brother, don’t encourage that behaviour

bDe: i will

Ben Dover: What if someone stole your car, then

bDe: murder

ScarJo: oh wow

You: SOMEONE GETS IT

bDe: lots of murder

Ben Dover: Brother-

bDe: torture first

bDe: lots of torture, then a whole lotta murder

ScarJo: Benny, you chose the wrong role models

You: shut up, YOU TOOK VAL

bDe: then more murder, and i’m gonna throw the bodies in a lake, no one will ever know

Ruby-gina George: Hold up, I’m coming with you

You: Jo, I’ve got your gravestone prepped

ScarJo: And you say we’re unhinged

You: Get your ass back to the roadhouse

bDe: i’ll get away with it, I swear

Megolodon: Why am I actually enjoying this

bDe: if I can’t have my baby, no one can

Evenings were always the more raunchy of times at the Roadhouse. The bar was now full of chatting passers-by, girls dressed in skimpy clothes and biker boys with tattoos winding around their necks. The shift today was yours, Ruby’s, Dean’s and Meg’s. There were an overwhelming amount of females working at the Roadhouse, if you were incredibly honest. As for the employees not working behind the bar, they were roughing it up at a booth, hollering and hooting like owls at a baseball game.

“So, darlin’, what do you do in your free time?” Dean asked you, cleaning out a glass with a rag and shooting a wink to a couple of giggling girls nearby. You poured a whiskey for a patron, sliding it across the table.

“Well, I’m a big fan of joyrides.” You answered with a goofy grin. “My Mustang’s always fun to take a spin in.” The mention of your Mustang got Dean’s eyebrows up to his hairline as he pointed out of the window.

“That beaut’s yours?” He exclaimed in disbelief, laughing. “Damn. That’s a serious muscle car.”

“Yeah, my Valkyrie. Val’s my sweetheart, always will be.” You looked up wistfully at the mention of your beloved car. “And your Chevy Impala, she’s absolutely gorgeous. I could listen to her purr all day.”

“That’s my Baby.” He bore the same wistful look you did, then nudged you. “We should take ‘em out for spins. Y’know, joyrides.”

“You sure?” You chuckled, looking up at him. “I don’t drive easy.”

“Even better.” He gave you a little wink paired with a click of his tongue. He flipped a bottle in his hand, pouring a whiskey shot expertly and handing it to you. “Ma’am.”

“Sir.” You took the shot with a chuckle, sending the glass over to the sink. “Thanks, I needed that.”

“You’re very welcome.” He poured himself a shot and downed it, and you couldn’t help but focus slightly on his pouty, pink lips, almost hyper-fixating on them. But you tore your eyes away to serve a customer at the bar, a rather shady-looking guy who had a snake tattoo on his neck. He was also wearing sunglasses inside, which had Dean raising an eyebrow.

“You know who wears sunglasses inside?” He muttered into your ear as the man ordered a glass of Jack Daniel’s with his eyes on Meg. “Blind people… and douchebags.”

“I can’t fault you for that logic.” You laughed, pouring the man a glass and passing it to him as you turned back to Dean. “About that joyride, I’m down.”

His eyes lit up, a puppy-like grin now on his face as he fully faced you, elbow leaning on the counter. You couldn’t help but stare deep into those mossy eyes, mirroring the infectious smile on his face just as Meg stumbled up to you both with a groggy smile on your face, whiskey glass clutched tightly in her hand.

“You t-two look so… cute.” She giggled, leaning heavily on you. You saw the glass cup in her hand, and you caught a whiff of… Jack Daniel’s? “Smilin’ at each other, lovin’ each other, so adorable!” You raised an eyebrow, holding her steady as she continued to ramble. “You should marry each other. Ugh, I feel so… weird.”

“Does Meg usually get this slammed?” Dean whispered, and you shook your head, confused. That’s when Ruby sprang out from behind the bar, grabbing the guy by the scruff of his neck and slamming his head roughly down on the counter. “Woah, damn!”

“Ruby!” You gasped, but she snatched the glass from your hands and showed you the contents. There was a powdery white substance in it that you instantly recognised. “Damn it- she’s been roofied.”

“Bastard thought he was smooth with it.” She growled, holding the guy down. “It takes Meg a lot of strong tequila and a Long Island to make her that slammed.”

“I’m surprised you know that, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“I’m callin’ the police. Get this jackass locked up.” Dean glared daggers at who could’ve been Meg’s potential assaulter as he dialled the emergency number and explained the situation. Meg clung onto you, and you felt bad for her as you went to haul her off to bed, entertaining her every mindless babble about something or the other.

“You’re pretty.” Meg slurred as she hobbled with you. “You look like Rubes. She’s pretty too. Very pretty.”

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous.” You replied dryly, not out of disdain for Ruby but rather out of extreme concern for your friend. “Absolutely stunning.” Though there was part truth in that. You’d always wanted to be like Ruby- not give much of a damn. Able to speak every weird and/or rude comment that came to her mind and everyone would worship her for it. She could talk openly about where she came from, confidently, with a flick of her blonde hair and my-give-a-hoots-are-on-vacation attitude, but you weren’t inclined to open your mouth about it. “Let’s get you in here.”

You opened the door to your bedroom, limping to the bed and just letting Meg flop- “Wheeeeee!” She squealed as she went, but then was out cold the moment her face hit the mattress. You smiled at her antics despite the seriousness of the situation, drawing up your blanket and tucking her in, staying with her for a bit until you were sure she was ok. Then, as you descended the stairs, you’d found that the gang had cleared out the bar, which was helpful in the current climate. Especially now that the dude had been carted off to the nearest station.

You made eye contact with Ruby, who looked livid, but softened slightly when she saw you. “Is she ok?” She asked expectantly, and the tension seemed to lift a fraction when you nodded.

“We’re gonna have to tell my mom about this.” Jo sighed, drumming her fingers on the table. “She’s gonna be pissed.”

“The dude who tried his luck on Meg?” Dean shrugged, his brow furrowed a tad in concern. “His luck’s gonna say adiós once Ellen gets her hands on him.”

A few days later, you were up early, sat talking to Dean in one of the booths before you went on your joyride. The sun filtered in through rickety blinds, illuminating Dean’s emerald eyes as they gazed at you in a way that would bore through your soul. You hadn’t known Dean for more than a week, but he was such an easy person to be around. He was witty, but sometimes had trouble coming up with comebacks when flustered, had an easy demeanour while also seemingly being kind of lost himself. He was like a walking contradiction, and it intrigued you to no end. He could look like a sharp-jawed, drop dead gorgeous heartbreaker, but in his grey Henley, he just looked soft and innocent. Handsome and sweet.

Though, you knew he was too good for you. What with his smooth words, caring personality and overall just being Dean. You were, if anyone find out where you came from, a personified chessboard. Your entire being was checkered with black and white.

“C’mon.” He stood up, looking to the jukebox on the other side of the room. “Let’s dance.”

“Let’s what, sorry?” Your eyebrows raised slightly as he jogged over to the jukebox, playing Tiny Dancer by Elton John and outstretching his hand for you. “Oh, no, I’m not a dancer.”

“C’mon, don’t leave me hangin’ here.” Dean’s outstretched hand beckoned you over almost like a siren’s call, and what with his boyish grin, the charming sparkle in his eyes and the overall feeling of being wanted got you up with him and taking his calloused hand in your own, skin tingling with the feel of the ring on his finger, his own feeling sparks upon the silver band on your hand pressing against his warm skin. He drew you close, his arm around your waist in a sort of non-pervy way, like he wasn’t trying to force himself on you.

“Warning. I might step on your toes.” You gave him a look which was playfully serious, but Dean just gave you a cocky grin. Damn that smile.

“Just follow me, sweetheart, and you’ll be fine.” He raised the other hand that was already interlocked with his, the low rumble of his voice putting you at ease as he swayed you both from side to side, moving in a circle with a look in his eyes that he couldn’t explain as he gazed down at you. “See? You’re a goddamn natural.”

“Maybe I have a good teacher.” You replied smoothly, which seemed to stroke his ego, as he shot you a wink and a click of his tongue.

“Damn right, you do.” Dean gave you a bashful chuckle, then bit his lip as he smiled, both of you continuing the slow spin in a circle while Elton’s mellow voice hazed the atmosphere. “I’m gonna spin you, ok?”

“Don’t drop me.” You quipped, and he shook his head with a laugh.

“Don’t tempt me, darlin’.” He spun you out and then in, his arms crossed over your front.

“Did you have special dance lessons?” You asked with a giggle, holding his hands, his fingers gently rubbing and playing with yours. “You’re really good at this.”

“Well, my friend Bobby taught me.” Dean sighed into your ear, a low chuckle falling past his lips. “He’s a grouchy ol’ bastard, but I had a prom date that I needed to impress. Sadly, I never got to go with her. I was… sick… on the night of prom.” You brushed off the brief hesitancy, instead enjoying this brief moment of calm. Dean could tell that your nerves were frazzled from the events of Wednesday night. That’s the great thing about Dean. He reads people easily, all for his insistence on having no emotional intelligence whatsoever. You assumed that this was a distraction method.

“Ellen’s always been one for dancing.” You mentioned, shrugging as you rocked from side to side. You saw Ellen as practically a second mom. She took you in, and Benny, when you needed it. But she was lonely, and you were pained to see her like that. “But she hasn’t in a while. Not since she lost her husband.”

“Huh.” Dean’s voice had an intrigued tone to it. Like he had an idea. “We should set ‘em up.”

“Ellen… and this Bobby of yours?”

“Yeah, they’re the same age, both lonely old souls - with all due respect - and they would get along.” He tilted your head with his index so you’d look at him and his charismatic smirk, just begging you to say yes. “Whaddya say we play matchmaker, sweetheart?”

You found yourself conceding quickly to this man’s goddamn charms. “Ok, fine. But if this goes south, you’re to blame.”

“Duly noted.” He laughed, nodding proudly and squeezing your hand. “That deserves another spin.” He spun you again, so then you were facing him. “Y’know, I’m kinda honoured. Pretty lady such as you, dancin’ with a grunt like me… gives a man all sorts of ideas.”

“Are you flirting with me, Dean?” You raised a playful eyebrow, again involuntarily finding yourself giggling like a lovesick schoolgirl at his smooth words.

“Maybe.”

“That’s rather bold.”

“I don’t see you complaining.” You both locked eyes for a moment, then burst out into laughter, his lower register mixing well with yours in the dim, naturally lit room.

You were happy with this man. Really happy, that you’d found a good friend. You found a good friend in Dean Winchester.

And he’d found a new home in you.

The purr of Baby’s engine.

The windows rolled down and blowing through your hair.

Guns ‘n’ Roses’ ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ playing on a cassette tape.

All of it had you hooked on an impossibly addictive high, hopped up on the euphoria of singing the lyrics at the top of your lungs with Dean in the driver’s seat, a grin that could only connote inner nostalgia on his face as you both belted out the words off by heart. The feeling of the wind on your face, the thrill of how fast Baby was speeding down the highway and the sensation of being unchained… it all got you above the altitude of a kite.

Far above.

Dean’s eyes were on you when he wasn’t looking at the road, admiring the way the light hit the curve of your face and illuminated your eyes. He took in your sweet voice, filling him like a warm hug. He’d not known you for long, but to him, you were home. Someone he could turn to.

He found himself hooked on that pretty smile. Your smooth words that contrasted your otherwise humble nature. How one second you could be the calming force and next you’re busting out your wild side like nobody’s business. You seemed so… sure… of who you were. So easy on a misguided soul like him.

After his baby brother went to Stanford, his father didn’t see much point of keeping him there. John was a drunk, and a notoriously violent one at that, and he’d prevented Dean from going to college so he could take care of Sam. But his Sammy was all grown up, and he didn’t need Dean anymore. That broke him in pieces, and made him desperate to find someone to pick them up because he’d lost them.

He turned to you with a wide grin, meeting your eyes as the final chorus blared on the radio. There was no place you two would rather have been right now than here, just letting loose and having fun. Neither of you were allowed to be kids. Sammy was Dean’s reminder, and the ring on your finger was yours.

Painful reminders, but they were both ones you couldn’t let go.

Then Dean switched the cassette tape once the final notes rolled out, Eye of the Tiger playing loud and proud on the speakers.

This was like trying to get Sammy to eat his proteins when he was a kid. Only harder.

“C’mon, Bobby, it’s just a date.” Dean reasoned, chuckling slightly at his surrogate father sat in Baby’s passenger seat and looking rather like a pug with the grumpy face he had on. “You’re gonna sit down, be yourself and everything’ll go smooth like butter.”

Bobby bristled, glaring daggers at Dean, lips pursed. “See, that’s easy to say when you’re not the one on this date, boy. She’s gonna be some classy broad who orders a pinot noir, or a Chateau Margaux or whatever-the-hell, and I’m gonna be stuck wonderin’ what the hell all these fancy names mean.”

“See, you don’t know until you try.”

“Don’t give me that chick flick crap, you idjit.”

“Look, all I’m saying is don’t get too hopped up on the idea of being perfect for Ellen.” Dean shrugged. “Be cool, yeah, and flatter her, give her some compliments and make her feel at home, but don’t go saying things like-”

“This sucks balls.” Bobby grumbled, not at all to Dean’s surprise.

“See? Don’t say that.” He saw Ellen in the rear view mirror, and clapped Bobby’s shoulder. “Ok, Bobby, you’re up. Knock her socks off for me, yeah?”

Bobby had no choice but to get out of the car, hoping that he didn’t look like a fool, or maybe his gelled back hair was neat and didn’t have a dreaded flyaway. That his collar wasn’t popped. That his jeans didn’t have some unexplained stain on them. He stepped to Ellen, who gave him a warm smile. “Balls.” He muttered under his breath. She really did look like a classy lady, which sent his embarrassment into overdrive.

“Hi, I’m Ellen.” She introduced, her voice smooth as honey and making Bobby even more nervous that yes, this woman was definitely far above his league.

“Bobby.” He replied stiffly, but then held out his arm. “Shall we?”

“Guess so.” They linked arms, striding towards the restaurant, where you and Dean had made a reservation. When the two were guided to their table, they were provided with a drinks menu. Ellen didn’t even take one minute scanning it, flicking through at the speed of light and announcing that she knew what she wanted. Bobby, however, was stumped. Wine? Pinot grigio? Champagne? But there were so many options for one champagne. Why couldn’t the damn drink options be more simple? Beer was definitely out of the question, though his mouth watered and taste buds craved for the Heineken embossed in gold on the menu.

But he knew that he wanted the medium rare steak, announcing that to Ellen, who replied that she’d be having sea bass fillets with specialised dressing and garnish which sounded rather fancy. It did nothing to soothe Bobby’s poor nerves. Ellen, meanwhile, was torn between remaining soft spoken with this man or being, y’know, herself. He seemed decent, and considerate, with the way he carefully looked over the drinks and food menus.

“Madam, sir, can I take your order?” A waiter with a flip notebook arrived beside them, and Bobby gestured for Ellen to speak, not wanting to seem overbearing.

“The sea bass fillet with the special dressing and garnish,” Ellen answered smoothly, her eyes flicking to Bobby to gauge his reaction to the next words, “and one Heineken.”

The choice of drink lifted Bobby’s spirits instantly, and that gave him the green light to not strive to impress the beautiful lady across from him. “And I’ll have the steak, medium rare. And as for the drink, I’ll have what the lady’s having.”

“Of course.” The waiter took the menus and left the table, inciting a moment for the two to laugh at their own anxiety.

“You thought I’d be one of those high-horse, classy women, didn’t you?” Ellen guessed, and Bobby nodded bashfully.

“Guilty. I haven’t done this in a long while.” He chuckled, warming up to Ellen quickly. “You’re a woman after my own heart. Always loved a good Heineken.”

“You and me both.”

After they’d had dinner, they exited the restaurant, but instead of parting ways, Bobby offered his arm once more to Ellen. “Mind walking for a while with this ol’ fool?”

“Not at all.”

NEXT UP:

“Jo.” Ruby sat down in front of Jo, who was in animated conversation with Charlie. They both turned to her in surprise and identical raised eyebrows. “And you, Charlie. I need advice.”

Maybe Charlie could help. After all, she was an expert in the field Ruby needed advice on. This was an extremely unfamiliar topic, even though she’d grown up in a family full of suspiciously close women.

Oh, god, this was nerve wracking.

Jo looked concerned, but nodded, and Charlie did the same. “Sure, go ahead.” Jo gestured for Ruby to continue, while Charlie sat eagerly forward in her seat, waiting for Ruby to speak.

“Ok.” She took a deep breath, her eyes briefly flicking to Meg. “What if… what if I…”

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Like, reblog, and let me know if you want to join the taglist!

[la-pheacienne]

Okay nobody asked for this but I have some thoughts about Anna Karenina. I read that book in highschool and it was a pain in the ass but still a rewarding experience. I remember liking it, but at the end feeling like "okay, an adulterous unstable woman, at the time when it was written I suppose it was really ground-breaking, it doesn't seem that relevant anymore, who would condemn Anna today for wanting to leave her miserable cucumber of a husband for a hot blond horse rider with BDE, relatable, no one would stone her alive for that today, that was then".

Wrong. So Wrong.

It was obvious to me that Anna was unfairly punished by society for being human and the author intended to present it that way. Apparently, it is not so obvious to a big part of the readers. The discourse I saw online is extremely disturbing:

"I felt like she chose her lover over her son? To me she just seemed extremely selfish. She has a loving and rich husband".

"yes, she did ultimately choose her lover over her son. It's terrible that she lived in a culture that forced her to make that choice, but that's the choice she made. Her own happiness was more important to her than her child's. That's not a choice most parents would make".

"She is not even a good mother she hated her daughter when her daughter Anya was sick only thing that was important to her was that Vronsky didn't came home at the time so she started using opium".

"I don’t like her. She made a poor decision that left a child without a mother and a husband without a wife. Any woman who puts their own selfish desires over their family is not to be liked".

"I can not abide women who let themselves be pushed around so much by society and the moralists of the day; I keep wanting to give them a good shaking and say "Stand up for yourself, girl!"

"One of the reason that Anna is so hard to like is that she only defines herself in relation to other people. Wife to a husband. Mother to a son. Lover to Vronsky. Who was Anna? What did she like? What were her passions (besides men)"?

"Vronsky said that while Anna seemed only to have him to care for, he had many friends and many interests and responsibilities. Adults usually do. Anna was an eternal child, wanting gratification, indulgence, entertainment". 

The first observation is of course, how completely off the mark these takes are considering the particular female experience in 19th century Russia. Especially the comments about her not acting like an adult or her being boy-crazy are laughable, as if a woman in that time period could just "stand up for herself" or even define her life and choose her course of action indepentently of men in any fundamental way. As if she would have ever comitted suicide if she could do any of those things. If she could still keep the boyfriend and her son, if she could decide to have a divorce whenever she wanted to, if she could be allowed to simply exist on her own, she wouldn't have committed suicide. A person who commits suicide is a person who doesn't have a way out. She didn't. And it is pretty obviously stated in the text.

The second remark is that in this story we have a (female) character that is so appallingly victimized and crushed, entirely at the mercy of other men, circumstances or even pure chance, while at the same time keeping her personality, desires, and agency intact. This is why this story is so great and this is why these people do not get it. Tolstoy, consciously or not (probably consciously) really outdid himself precisely because he told the story of a victimized woman who was also kind of a bitch, to put it bluntly. She was both. You can't talk about Anna just by focusing on gender inequality. Being a victim of patriarchy is not all Anna was. Anna was selfish yes, she was irrational and obsessive and ruthless and she wanted it all and she wanted it now. It wasn't enough for her just to have an extramarital relationship, tolerated by social norms, allowing her to keep her son and her lover. No, that was not enough, she wanted to live with her lover freely, she wanted to make the rules and she didn't understand why she just couldn't. She felt terribly guilty for abandoning her son, yet she didn't give a single fuck about the kid she had after, the one kid she could actually take care of. Horrendous. Her husband offers divorce, she doesn't want it. He later refuses the divorce, now she wants it. She is not ready to travel and wants to wait, and when her lover tells her they have to wait one day because he wants to see his mother, she suddently wants to leave now. She is strongly advised not to go to the opera because that would bring herself and everyone around her misery, she goes to the opera. She does exactly the opposite of what she was supposed to do at any given circumstance. What she wanted was bigger than what life could give her, and she killed herself.

Now that may be Tolstoy just showcasing what happens to lusty restless adulterous women. Tolstoy, after all, had the misogynistic factory settings of his time. He was also a genius. I don't believe there is anything about this thrilling, vibrant, catastrophic portrait of a woman that came by chance. The inequality, the unfairness of it all is so palpable everywhere in the book, her absolute lack of freedom constrasting with the freedom of her husband lover and brother. All of these men can do whatever they want, they can fuck, cheat, dominate, determine their life and other's without any criticism or consequences whatsoever, and she can't even leave the house without it being a major scandal. She doesn't control anything in her life, she is completely ostracized. She is considered an actual criminal, a pariah, for having human desires.

And yet, despite all that, she has the audacity to want for herself. In her ultimate victimhood, seemingly at the loss of all agency she still does not let others define her inner world one bit. She absolutely defines her life, she makes autonomous decisions, she even defines her own demise by suicide. She chose this, she could have chosen differently, but she didn't want to. The social setting was horrible for women, but if she was slightly more reasonable she could have had a better outcome. She didn't want that. Crazy right?

And that's why modern readers cannot get this book. We are used to media that convey a "message", ready to consume on a plate with a pink ribbon. We are used to passively watching women reacting to horrors imposed on them, and feeling sorry for them. We are used to a Handmaid's tale type of social discourse. We are used to dystopias. We are used to good guy - bad guy dichotomies. We empathize with female characters getting killed, tortured, physically and sexually abused, because they are the victims. But a woman who dares to leave her kid and go away with her lover? Abhorrent. Inconceivable. It is so extremely difficult to empathize with a female character that is just palpably human, it is confusing, she is not victimized enough to deserve empathy from the modern audience. A victim is a symbol, it is an abstraction. Give a victim a mind of her own and human desires, and she is suddenly a whore.

Tolstoy in all his moralizing puritanical 19th century glory, gave us an actually "complex" (as much as I have come to hate the word) female character, and by "complex female character" I mean a fictional woman that maintains her spiritual autonomy while seemingly being entirely determined by other people or circumstances. I cannot say the same for the vast majority of "strong female character" models of contemporary media.

[seattlesellie]

I’m having such Abby brainrot rn like she just exudes that bde. Even though she’s so strong and dominant I just imagine Abby as being very focused on intimacy sometimes, and craving super close softer sex. Limbs all intertwined with you basically sitting in her lap as she fucks up into you and such deep eye contact it’s like nothing exists in the world besides her (and just because it’s more intimate doesn’t mean she’s any less dominant😉)

yes !!!! abby is definitely a feen for eye contact especially & wants u as close to her as possible <3 constantly telling you to look at her and move closer and like stops if you don’t make eye contact cause she needs it !! heavy on the focused, she’s very calculated i feel like but also sometimes gets lost in the moment so its like the perfect balance 💗 basically hugging you so tight while fucking into you & puts her head on your chest whilst you’re in her lap <3

[ask-mortarion-the-death-lord]

well i understand why imperial knights are a whole faction and are the way they are, i do sometimes imagine what other units you could toss into their army to spice them up as a proper full faction and not just a proxy for giant robots punching each other and godzillas in the face.

house lord: well most knights when in command still wouldn't be caught dead outside of their knight if only because of a status thing, sometimes a knight pilot can be found pouring over strategy from a command tent or otherwise leading the house forces on foot. this is either out of necessity [their knights not working, theres no one else around to take command of ground troops like the household guard, they need a liason between imperial forces that isn't stomping around in a big mech etc.], or as part of a psychological tactic [showing off that bde against a rival house by not even bothering to fight them knight to knight for instance because you think they are a loser etc.] when taking to the field outside of a knight instead of a pilot suit the house lord usually opts for blinged out human size power armour that looks like feudal knight/warriors armour with expensive relic weaponry to boot. many also will take to the field riding a cybernetic horse [their favourite horse at that] to look more heroic then on a filthy motorcycle well still keeping pace with the advance of the knights. in the good ol days of the great crusade they would also ride prohibitively expensive jetbikes due said vehicles being more 'sophisticated' in nature.

baron: barons take to the field outside of their knights for one of three reasons. the force of imperial knights is large enough to necessitate their presence as a strategic planner and operations commander instead of a combatant, their own knight is inoperable at the moment, or finally because they had a day off, were bored and decided it would be sporting to watch the nearest battle up close and personal [as many imperial commanders dislike dandy knight fops popping into to watch their battles for a larp, when a baron does this they tend to stick to watching battles their own house are undertaking]. as most barons tend to have some experience on the field before taking up their roles, their strategic planning or even just their consul to the actual commander can prove invaluable in a successful campaign, and their own immaculate sets of power armour, the finest relic weaponry, and occasionally they're particularly dashing and skilled horses ensure that they're no slouch in a fight either when called upon for combat.

household steward: the 'peasant' commanders of the household guard though just as often simply a member of the lower nobility with no prospects of knight inheritance. stewards are the guys who tend to be the actual commanders both in the sense of operation planning and coordination for the ground troops holding similar responsibilities and skillsets as imperial guard commanders but lacking much of the respect and privileges of an imperial guard commander in most instances especially if they are of poor or peasant birth. they are often even responsible for directing their lord, as best they can at least, to a coordinated battle strategy and thus tend to get most of the heat when things go south even if it is entirely their lords fault for not following the plan. tend to be outfitted in carapace armour though of a high quality and often of an elegant design in accordance to their house or even just their lords tastes, wielding quality weapons purchased over a lifetime of service or gifted to them by their lord for a job well done. they tend to attract resentment from the household guard for being 'the lords pet' and because of the necessity of balancing the needs of the household guard with their lords whims and own battlefield and personal needs.

sacristan: the technicians in charge of keeping the houses knights up and running, as they already exist in lore as specialized tech priests i wont go too much into detail other then noting that i'd have them be divided into two different types machine cult sacristan, which are tech-priests trained in knight maintenance from mars and household cult sacristan, which are sacristans not technically part of the machine cult due to being trained locally in the maintenance of knights and thus tend to be drawn from local knight planet religious cults or internally from the houses servants, the main difference between the two is much like the difference between knight houses. if it doesn't have the cog then its likely a household cult sacristan.

household diviner: specialized psykers knight houses sometimes draw from their populations instead of sending to the black ships, well not sanctioned through traditional means they are tolerated on the whole by organizations such as the inquisition due to the process through which a household diviner is created, the psyker being strapped into ancient technologies based on the throne mechanicum that rewires their brains imparting mastery over their powers, loyalty to their house, the imperium and or the mechanicum, and most notably a unique psychic lore of divination and projection which houses who employ them value highly for its use in information gathering and forecasting. well they are not immune to possession and corruption, the unique nature of their existence does leave them more resistant then most psykers though when observed by other psykers it is often said that the process does something not just to a household diviners mind but their very soul with daemons even holding some degree of reversion to those souls which those aware of this fact theorize might be part of why they are more resistant to possession and corruption then traditional psykers. well often kept away from the battlefield due to their skills being most useful outside of it, when a household diviner takes to the field they do so in a sturdy plating of carapace armour over which humble robes rest signifying both their nature as psykers and thus the inherent need for penance about that nature and the importance of their position.

household guard: its the household guard, which exist in lore! your humble pdf or imperial guard trooper but from a knight world and thus dressed up more feudal like essentially. as the household guard is being paid for and outfitted out of the houses own pockets to run around shooting things the knight cant or doesn't deal with well lumbering knights that could kill them by stepping on them stalk the battlefield also shooting at things, they actually tend to be better armoured then your average pdf or imperial guardsman, getting to wear nice carapace armour for protection. they also tend to prefer autoguns over lasguns due to the high levels of dust and debris knights kick up during battle making the lasguns laser not as reliable as a solid metal slug of an autogun. on knight houses owing allegiance to the mechanicum, the household guard will often be replaced with skitarii instead but in cases where the house owes allegiance to the mechanicum but still operates a household guard the household guard will usually undergo similar biomechanical modifications [though functionally operate just the same as regular household guard on the tabletop]

peasant militia: an informal grouping of peasants who either out of necessity or genuine zealotry have banded together in mobs to serve their lords on the battlefield. a chaff unit outfitted in flak armour/flak armour equivalent and wielding grandpappys autoshotgun he had laying around for hunting. die in droves but who cares they're peasant militia, thats what they are suppose to do so your household guard and knights generally wont think twice of it and well a peasant milita has terrible ld if near enough a knight they effectively become an unbreakable morale frothing horde.

household musketeers: young nobles eager to get combat experience and win some glory but have yet to inherit a knight in which to do so. they make due by 'joining' the household guard until their inheritance comes up forming independent specialized squads of musketeers. stewards generally have a tough time controlling them due to the musketeers youth and arrogance but musketeers also provide fancy specialized weaponary a household guard might otherwise have difficulty acquiring and their weapon training as nobles atleast grants them more extensive training then a basic household guard often begins their career with.

household rangers: scouts, infiltrators and assassins. usually household guard recruits with experience as hunters, woodsmen or frontiersmen before joining the household guard. wear flak armour for mobilities sake and cloaks for stealth and weather protection well out on the field, and have a tendency to look somewhat ratty due to their longtimes out on the job resulting in a lot of house nobles finding them somewhat discomforting/unpleasant to look at or interact with. as such household rangers have a tendency to be rather unpleasant individuals with less intense loyalty to their house and lords or if nothing else have poor social skills and prefer isolation out on the job.

household longshank: a lone character model elite scout, infiltrator and assassin, a household ranger who's been at the job long enough to be considered a master at it. longshanks example some of the more intense traits of the rangers eccentricities, and tend to be employed not just for vitally important missions against the enemies of mankind but also for dealings in 'internal' house politics where a longshanks touch obscures the motivations of the lords at play. wear carapace armour due to being alone necessitating better individual protection but still having the chops to move as fast as they do on the job without tiring.

household grenadiers: the elite veterans of the household guard and its effective equivalent to stormtroopers/karskin. albeit well they're already in carapace armour [fancy carapace armour to signify their elite status] they're still better fighters and have the picking of some of the household guards best gear such as the special archgun [hotshot autogun equivalent] and power halberds.

household dragoons: household grenadiers but on cyberhorses and prone to being more 'peacocky' as the house lords tend to scrutinize their appearences more. can't be having dragoons that dont look heroic enough afterall.

household royal guard: the guys that follow a house lord or baron around or whoever the house wants to have protected in particular and they can't spare a knight. the royal guard are drawn typically drawn from the grenadiers or dragoons and have the special privilege of wearing human grade power armour letting them wield heavy weapons and equipment with relative more ease. come in three varieties, the bowmen who wield shooting weaponry, the swordsmen who run up and hit things in cqc and the shieldmen who stay behind with special shield generator shields to actually protect the high profile individual they are suppose to be protecting.

yeoman: as 'peasants' aren't suppose to be operating knights [outside of the occasional armiger], the yeoman suit was conceived being based on civilian grade exo-suits but redesigned as a warsuit piece to support household guard in infantry duties [when an armiger was not available] and to serve in the daily roles household guards were expected to serve in such as tax collection or patrols. yeomen pilots are some of the most prestigious members of a household guard and will sometimes be selected as armiger pilots should they prove skilled enough. come in artillery and melee variants.

ironstrider: despite being a walker this is actually the household guard equivalent of a tank, tracked vehicles being regarded as ungainly by most knight houses. the ironstrider serves as the humble chimera of household guards, while the sacristan ironstrider variant instead serves as a mobile repair shop vehicle for knight houses on the field.

spearstrider: the battle tank/artillery tank of the household guard but on walker legs. and ironstrider whos transport capacity has been removed for ammunition to supply their big guns with. as knights are knights, spearstriders are typically deployed for missions where no knights are present but firesupport is still needed. when they are deployed with knights however its to provide covering fire and barrages during large engagements letting the knights more easily handle the enemy before them, though many younger knights have a tendency to resent spearstriders for this going out of their way to not use them or even inconvenience the spearstriders. household guard love spearstriders as lifesavers.

ironbeak gunship: household guard gunship with a troop variant, a pure gun variant and a spotter variant for knights to get a better understanding of the battlefield with. uses high-powered turbofans making them highly manoeuvrable lil buggers even if they aren't the fastest around.

drop-castle: ever wanted to drop pod deepstrike an imperial knight timmy? now you can with the drop-castle which doubles as a fortification defence piece after its disgorged its knight payload.

[moira-mains-go-to-hell]

(I love doing shit like this because I like to introduce people to new music, I might do it with KISS next, I don’t know)

In honor of the Super Bowl halftime performance 2016 me would have killed 30 men for, here are Rihanna songs I would associate with the Overwatch Women

Includes: ALL OF THEM

Stay (ft Mikky Ekko) - Ana

Always genuinely on the move, puts a strain on all of her relationships, romantic or platonic

Kiss It Better - Ashe

Would throw away her pride in every sense of the world for you. Would take you back every time. Wouldn’t care if it was unhealthy.

Only Girl - Brigitte

Brig seems like she is such a himbo, and she is, and you will make sure your himbo knows her importance. This song is more for himbo brig x brat, but I FUCKING STAND BY IT.

Shut Up and Drive - D.va

… her engine is ready to explode… I AM KIDDING (not really) but that high energy cockiness that’s masked with that “I have no clue what I’m doing ;)” attitude screams her.

S&M - Junker Queen

It’s the BDE, moving on

If It’s Lovin’ That You Want - Kiriko

The persistence of this song in its tone, is Kiriko. She is laying out what she brings to the table and why she should be with you.

Umbrella - Mei

She really does seem like the dedicated type. Goes out of her way to see you smile.

Diamonds - Mercy

Trying to hold her up like fucking atlas because of the shit she sees as a combat medic. She has a cheerful attitude but I can easily see her needing your support within closed doors.

Cockiness - Moira

Wearing the biggest scowl on her face while listening, but her foot is TAPPING. You catch her listening to it in her lab one day, she blames it on your shared music streaming service.

SOS - Pharah

Pharah stops the car wherever you are going just to jam to this fucking song. It’s her bop. She fucking loves you and you love her too, and it’s one of those “touch my wife and I’ll keep your fingers on my keys” loves.

Te Amo - Sojourn

She feels like she has a very raw love. When it’s you and her, it’s just you and her. “I love you” is a very solid statement with her, and not something he throws around.

Rude Boy - Sombra

The wildness masked by a calm collected persona of “I’m allowing this” is so fucking her. She taunts, and you love it because she is blunt about what she wants.

Pon de Replay - Symettra

Is it mainly because I can see her vibing to it? Yes. Is it also because it would be cute to dance with her to it to get her out of her stuffy shell? Yes.

We Found Love - Tracer

With her being in Overwatch, and basically being on the verge of blipping out of existence at all times if her accelerator decides it wants to shit out, being together is fucking hard.

Disturbia- Widowmaker

“What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?” Are the first fucking words she said when she fell in fucking love with you, first of all. She tries her best to ignore it, but to no avail. It’s fucking rampant and she can only sedate it by being with you.

Where Have You Been - Zarya

Zarya seems so out of reach as a woman, and the grip that she has on the people that love her, is insane. Then again, she would sing this to you because she is that enamored.

[wandering-scavenger]

You may know what is the right thing to be done, but... love stays the hand.

What are children, but a weakness? A folly? A futility? Through them, you imagine you cheat the great darkness of its victory. You will persist forever, in some form or another. As if they will keep you from the dust. But for them... you surrender what you should not. You may know what is the right thing to be done, but... love stays the hand. Love... is a downfall. - Larys Strong

I think that there was no better way to conclude the 6th episode than this quote of Larys. It tackles the pitfalls of the characters as parents or parental figures: Viserys, Rhaenyra, Alicent, Harwin, Lyonel, Daemon, Laenor, and even Criston. I won't bother discussing the importance of the illegitimacy of Rhaenyra's boys or Alicent's fixation on it, there's enough commentary on that to enjoy.

Though 10 years have passed, Rhaenyra is as willful and stubborn as ever, choosing to personally present Alicent with her child instead of allowing another to (it screams BDE to me in spite of its recklessness). She has also learned a thing or two about how her actions and even her sons actions (i.e. teasing Aemond, though Aegon is just as at fault for it) affect others and eventually come back to them one way or another, as seen when she overhears Lyonel berating Harwin and sending him to Harenhaal. Seeing how her affair with Harwin affected the boys pushed her to try and make amends with Alicent, as well as move to Dragonstone to prevent subjecting her boys to the (true) rumors about their parentage. You may know what is the right thing to be done, but... love stays the hand. In Rhaenyra's case, her love for Harwin prevented her from doing the right thing (being faithful to an admittedly uninterested Laenor) just as her love for the boys prevents her from acknowledging them for what they really are, bastards. The boys are an extension of herself, so she will continue to insist that they are legitimate. She's a good and loving parent to her boys, but the very truth of their parentage hurts those boys (as seen when Jace is distraught when he asks if Harwin is his father) and is a political liability to their claim due to the fact that bastards of Westeros were not given the same rights as trueborns.

10 years older and we see Alicent embittered by her resentment of Rhaenyra's betrayal and now more confident in exerting the power she has when she can. Personally, I believe that Alicent loves her children but she struggles to embrace them in the way that Rhaenyra embraces her boys because Helaena and the boys were not borne out of love. I wondered if it might be because she grew up with Otto for a distant and gas lighting father, but we do know she was greatly affected by her mother's death and can only assume her mother must have been a good woman. Despite this struggle, we see Alicent still trying to connect with her children. She makes time to listen to Helaena talk about her bug collection and embraces and encourages Aemond when he tells her that he was mocked by Aegon and Luke. When she rejects Rhaenyra's proposal and snaps at Aegon for not taking his position seriously, we see that she is still motivated by the fear of her children being murdered by Rhaenyra or Rhaenyra's supporters if she ascends the throne. Take note that she does not tell Aegon to bully the boys, only to defend his siblings, though she makes antagonistic comments about Rhaenyra's boys to adults like Laenor and Viserys. The nature of the children's existence and Alicent's fixation on equipping them with the ability to fight for the IT comes at the cost of a warmer and more genuine bond that we see with Rhaenyra and her sons.

We see this fixation of Alicent's extend to Criston, who has become somewhat of a father figure to Aegon and Aemond. While I stand by the interpretation that Rhaenyra took advantage of Criston, that in no way justifies how he treats Jace and Luke. Criston encourages Aegon to be mean spirited. He has trauma, but trauma does not justify bullying innocent kids. He was meant to teach the boys how to be warriors, then decided to project his anger on to Aegon and Aemond and direct it towards Jace and Luke. Did I get heart eyes when Harwin beat him up to defend the boys and Rhaenyra? Yes. Was I there for the drama when Criston said 'Thought as much.' Yes.

Daemon is seemingly living a peaceful life away from Westeros, yet we learn that Laena longs to return home and deliver their 3rd child there. Though he is close to Baela, he neglects Rhaena and fails to console either of them when Laena dies (though I know they cut out the scene of him embracing them).

While some may argue that Viserys is great for supporting Rhaenyra no matter what, his willful ignorance and denial of Westerosi tradition and his grandsons' parentage increases the strain in court when he openly talks about Jace inheriting the throne over his trueborn son. Even Lyonel Strong knew that it was wrong and was willing to resign as Hand of the King because of how how obvious Harwin's affair with Rhaenyra was. In addition to this, Viserys is not seen engaging with his children by Alicent at all, children that he impregnated her with. The only time he mentions his children by Alicent, it is an accusation towards Aegon and blaming Aemond for being an easy target. The only child he is interested in parenting is Rhaenyra herself and by extension takes an interest in her boys. We know that it is because of the deep love he bore for Aemma, but it does not justify neglecting all the other children he brought on Alicent. The "right" or lawful thing to do would either be to make Aegon the heir or insist that Rhaenyra bear a legitimate child, but his love for her prevented him from reprimanding her for her misdeeds and encouraging her to take responsibility for her actions.

Love may be a downfall to someone like Larys Strong, but it's nowhere near as damning as the desire for the Iron Throne at the cost of everything else.

[lunapwrites]

2023 Recap and New Year Reading

One thing I think I'm proud of this year is how I approached bullet journaling. Despite sometimes going weeks at a time without making entries, instead of giving up I just went "ah, hell, we'll try again next month" and went about setting up the next few pages. That's... progress I think.

Anyway one of the reasons I bring this up is because last year, when I started this thing, I kicked off the year with a rune and tarot reading. And I think overall they were pretty on point, even if I was refusing to see the VERY COMMON THEME in all of it. Like... what brand of copium was I on that I saw 3 of Cups with the Empress and the Ace of Cups AND Death and went "Yep nope nothing to see here folks! Having a normal one!"

[This would be where I would stare flatly into the camera, Office style.]

The overall theme of 2023 was change. My partner and I did a lot of evaluating where we were and where we wanted to be, and started making moves to get there - some glacial, some... a lot quicker than I had expected lmao. But I think with my reading, my issue was that I made everything too broad and didn't focus on what was most on my mind - which turned out to be exactly what's on my mind now, and how it related to my existing commitments - including my fandom presence and writing. Which... has been difficult this year, particularly with being sick in one form or another for half of it.

With all of that said, 2024, it seems, is shaping up to be the transitional year - I pulled the Magician, which lends itself to a lot of power and potential. For the first half of the year, there's going to be a lot of good (or at least positive leaning) vibes up until April, supposedly - the Sun, Justice, the Empress (again), the High Priestess... all major arcana, all BDE cards. A lot of the messaging is about joy and balance and trusting my instincts. The vibes will be immaculate and everything's going to fall into place.

...Until May, which is when we can expect the Bean to make their appearance. Which... well, Five of Swords wasn't exactly the most surprising pull here. That is going to be a rough, scary transition, and I already knew it would be. But it's not forever.

We're (probably,) going to get our shit together a bit over the summer and into fall (Knight of Wands, the Chariot, 9 of Wands, King of Pentacles, the Fool) and then we're up for a setback of some kind in November (10 of Swords.) Given the context of the Fool and the overall timing, I think this is going to be related to moving Bean into their own room, and could be as simple as difficulty adjusting (for both of us tbh.) I'm not really seeing anything that indicates major issues, but the final card of the year (Judgement) is giving me a bit of an empowering message here.

Taken in aggregate, the message is clear: I have everything I need to succeed, so long as I remember not to rush important decisions and to ask for help when I need it. We can and we will achieve the balance I so desperately crave if we put the work in.

I did also do a rune reading, which overall seems to support the tarot one and gives me some additional context: likely looking at some conflict with work and family in the coming year (which I expected and which is already occuring to an extent) and my overall well-being is going to take a hit (also expected) - thurisaz and othala (r). However, my biggest pillars (my partner, my friends, and my overall... domestic situation? Home and finances lol) are going to be solid and are positive enough, in my view, to compensate - dagaz, uruz, fehu, jera, laguz. And of course the messaging is all the same: go with the flow, don't be fucking stubborn, ask for help, act with deliberation - tiwaz (r), perthro (r), eihwaz, ingwaz, mannaz.

Anyway. Yeah. Lots of big changes coming obviously, and I don't know what things are realistically going to look like six months from now, but I know whatever it is I'm going to do my best, and I'm gonna remember to breathe.

... And hopefully I can forgive myself for the times I mess up as well as I did with the bullet journal this year lol.

[babydollmarauders]

Listen.....the pretty boy isn't escaping scrutiny, tiny anger lover man that he is!!

Is it BDE or are we all just hopeful and ensured due to Quinn's existence? Scientists remain divided and I'm looking forward to the study!

Jack is the embodiment of that tiktok of the child running around with a sparkler like "Somebody gave me FIRE"

YES!!! my sister and i refer to him as the “what do you have?” “a knife!” “NO!” vine kid 😭 he just gives off that energy!

also, it’s definitely BDE! it’s the confidence and the talent and the hotness all combined!

[party-gilmore]

All of you were so excited to adopt Big Dick Energy as a metaphor for power and going above and beyond and and being a boss and having your shit together and being cool and all generally other "positive" connotations, but soon as a Greta used Small Dick Energy as an insult to respond to harassment suddenly it's not okay to be attributing things to physical characteristics people can't help, because thats Mean 😔

Like... Wh... What did you all think Big Dick Energy meant??? The whole concept of it being seen as A Good And Powerful Thing relied on the implicit "understanding"* of Small Dick Energy being a Pathetic And Weak thing, making BDE better than the alternative.

That was the whole point. That BDE existed as antithesis to SDE.

"oh but it wasn't about ACTUAL dick size, it was just about vibes!!!"

Okay???

If BDE was just about vibes and thus OK, then why isn't SDE just about vibes and thus OK too?

It still??? Directly??? Uses physical appearance?? As part of a the metaphor? Explicitly???

Like. I love Big Dick Energy. As someone without an actual physical dick, it feels nice to have a phrase to so casually refer to myself feeling cool with, that most of the public doesn't bat an eye at because it's so common, and makes me feel good, and eases the dysphoria a bit. But that's still with the knowledge that yeah, the term is still a little fucked up, so i need to be wary of when and where i use it.

I'm just saying folks have no real right to be pissed about one, if they were totally fine with the other. It's the same exact concept, you're just looking it from the backside instead.

[dentos-wife]

What do you think chrom meant in the A bond support with hortensia? Is he confirming something? It's kinda confusing me.

Oh that's easy! Unless you have Chrom marry the village maiden he'll have two kids by default; Lucina and the child of who he marries. Also Chrom has hardcore BDE (Big DAD energy) so Hortensia commented on it. Robin has Morgan too so it doesn't confirm or deny Chrobin and I like to think the poor girl is missing out on a emblem reunion with dad dad and sis. But really that comment just allows all Chrom pairings to exist, including Robin

[ephemeralsx]

they hate on feyre because they wish nesta and elain had the relevance in the series that feyre has as the heroine, it’s not even in the characters the fans are just immature and so because people self insert they do that with the sisters and have to be either to soft girl like elain or the bitchy one like nesta no grey area personality like feyre where she’s a mix of both, they need to be either the “cold girl boss” or “the princess type” character, because this series isn’t that complex and feyre hasn’t done much wrong at all to warrant the fanbases dramatics but this is just an immature petty fanbase that self inserts onto the sisters so they trash on feyre with whatever made up nonsense they come up with all while wishing their characters had what feyre has. her storyline, man, powers and title.

they lie and claim they don’t think she’s interesting of course just to seem superior all while elain and nesta are less impressive than feyre. they don’t have her powers of each court, they aren’t the first and only high lady like she is, they aren’t mated to the most powerful fae to ever exist, the lord of night, they aren’t lady of the night court, they aren’t as important to the inner circle as feyre is having met them all first giving them their first nephew, they don’t have cass or az as a high lord who calls all the shots with BDE, they don’t have the most popular love story of sjm’s, they don’t have the beautiful storyline that feyre has nor do they have a glow up story like hers (from neglected, bullied, manipulated, beaten, starved and killed to strong happy powerful wealthy first high lady, rhys’ only ever lover we know of (az and cass have histories which nesta and elain stan’s hate) she’s come a long way, is known as their country’s savior for freeing them all as cleverly as she did. what did nesta and elain ever do? i like elain! i don’t even hate nesta. but it’s easy to clear a nesta or elain stan when they’ve barely got anything going for them compared to their younger sister. don’t self insert too much guys to where you lose sight of how uninteresting your faves really are…feyre stan’s can at least say we aren’t deluded, jealous or miserable as hell 😂 at least we got three books dedicated to us and a novella. what do nesta and elain get? one book each? a less iconic love story than feysand? don’t piss a feysand off yall, bc it’s so easy to shit on her sisters and we’ll all happily do it. we win because the sisters stan’s will always have to deal with feysand being the more important and popular in the series regardless of them getting books sjm will always involve them and make them important as leaders of their family.

i mostly agree with you! its insane to me how someone can absolutely hate a main character eho has 3 books completely in her pov, like if you dislike it so much stop reading it and stop bitching about it.

i actually love nesta, but i can admit that the abuse towards feyre in their childhood is very much real, and honestly makes me sick when i think about it. feyre deserves all the apologies from them. and nesta did apologise, thats why i love her, she grew as a character and found her true self. i won’t share my opinion about elain for the sake of my sanity bc i don’t want elain stans attacking me, plus my opinion about her is pretty irrelevant for this topic.

anyways, i wouldn’t say nesta is less impressive than feyre. of course, over the course of 4 books, feyre had more history since nesta hasn’t really been a main character since lately. i love feysand, to be honest, even more than nessian, but i think the reason for that is just because we know them the best. if nesta was the main character from the start, things would look way different. even tho acosf was like a bible long book, i feel like nessian was rushed and a bit of a disappointment (too centered on lust instead of love in my opinion).

but anyways, you’re right, *some* nesta or elain stans lose themselves in the role of the icy bitch or the flowery princess and often overlook or even hate on feyre. which makes me incredibly sad because i relate with feyre the most. the kid who always got overlooked but was still faced with the burden if responsibility.

calling feyre boring or irrelevant just because she settled down and just wants to be happy is so incredibly wrong. think about her whatever you want, but some hate is out of pocket and just unnecessary

[thewickedharlot]

Something we don’t discuss often enough is the enigma that is Damian Kozak and his BDE. On paper there seems to be very little that would lead one to believe that some of the most attractive women in the industry would even glance his way and yet somehow he has, and let me quote one of his more notable exs, a long list of ex lovers, that I know a lot of people would die for.

From the earliest we can track down that we can say is for sure was Bonnie Astor (nee Walker), before she was somebody anybody cared about. Judging by their socials, it was an on and off thing for a few years, right up until Damian fell into a trap of his own in the form of Olivia Bennett. (Although it looks like they had a brief comeback given the public brawl between Damian and Fletcher Astor)

It’s still unclear how the two ended up on each others radars. The pair were first linked in the comment section of Damian's Instagram where they bonded over the existence of aliens of all things? Damian and her sister, Stella Bennett are friends so it’s possible that’s the connecting factor but somehow Olivia sunk her teeth into Damian and what happened next was the weirdest series of events that has ever been triggered by such a basic looking man. 

Public sex, a weird feud that resulted in Bonnie somehow getting to open for Olivia on both legs of her last world tour and a reality television show being where it all ends makes sense. It was a trainwreck right until the very end. It was the “I Love You” heard around the world followed by the most public rejection possible and one of the few times we’ve ever looked at Olivia and thought ‘Girl Boss’ until it became clear she left him for Phoenix Undergrove and potentially caused his death (Wtf girl?). 

Damian disappears after for a while after which makes sense because, duh embarrassing, and then finds himself linked to two other women. First, he’s spotted in a park with Elyssa Rappaport. Which, wow talk about out of his league. However more recently it appears that Damian and Kimber Tate have gotten engaged. Admittedly, Kimber makes the most sense out of these women, but the way this man has to be packing because why else would anyone want to tolerate his long winded monologues about the meaning of life and death? 

There is one other woman Damian keeps around, for longer than we can prove, Peach Rivera. And honestly, we have no idea how the pair met or why they appear close but a deep dive into their socials makes us think its been a while and the only reason we can think she’d stick around him as long as she has is the same reason all these other women keep coming back. He’s packing. 

So who’s next or is the marriage going to stick? We simply cannot wait to see how this all plays out but you can catch Damian on tour supporting Cole Addams with his ex Bonnie Astor and the amount of tour tickets that were sold simply because people want to be there when this all implodes (We have tickets to at least 6 shows already just in case) Stay tuned. It’s sure to be a disaster. 

[andy-clutterbuck]

Fear the Walking Dead | 4x01

[thewanderingtrumpeteer]

mfw im browsing dumb egg_irl memes to send to my bfs younger brother bc I think he's tryna come out to me and I realize how relatable a lot of them are and then remember that I'm trans/nb too

[knightsdeath]

has anyone seen felix i need to tell him i love him