#havent been looking out back as much since i dont have to let layla out every couple of hours

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

There is a very tall plant with yellow flowers growing out of the middle of the bush honeysuckle

Its gotta be at least 7 feet tall

If its a native plant I am impressed. That honeysuckle was slowly killing 3 trees

I gotta get out there later to try and identify it. The flowers are facing away from the house so I can't see the front so looking at pictures of flowers isn't helping much. And I need a better look at the leaves. I think it may be a type of sunflower?

Idk how I havent noticed it before

Look at it go

[nakanaai]

Oh man, where do I begin?

A year ago, I officially began my presence in the Fire Emblem Fates RP community — and here I am, still here, a year later! Only those who have been around for longer than I have remember my old URL KIRAQI — but upon further deepening of Kiragi’s character, was changed to the one I have present day. It’s only been my second experience with a community on Tumblr, my first being in the Osomatsu-san fandom — and I had ditched one of my blogs in said community in favor of Kiragi.

I guess I should start with what I’m thankful for in this introduction. Honestly, there’s a LOT to be thankful for — this community’s kindness, it’s welcome, and the zeal it had ever since I joined to improve many different aspects of myself in the creative aspect. This includes my graphics, writing, musical ability — it’s endless. I joined this community with absolutely no idea how it’d work out — honestly, I thought it would be a lot like the Osomatsu-san community, where the majority of people DREW ANSWERS to asks. I was surprised to find out that the majority of the fandom used their creative writing skills for the most part. I was young — er, younger — when I made the blog, so I had no knowledge of what I was doing, other than the fact that I was here to have fun — I think that’s the most important part to when I joined. As began to roleplay more and more, new glasses were placed upon my face, and I started seeing — well, EVERYTHING differently. 

Before this gets too long, I’d like to just say thank you — to YOU. Because it’s likely that if you’re seeing this from my blog, you’re following me — you’re one of those THOUSAND followers that I have accumulated over the past year. Roleplaying is not my priority, as writing in a whole is just a hobby for me, and I always do things in the order and balance that I want — perhaps that’s selfish of me, but this community has allowed me to realize MANY things. Everyone I met was so unique and amazing, and even though I’ve only managed to fully befriend only a fraction of my followers, I cannot wait to see what’s in store for me in the future!

And — oh yes. You didn’t forget, right? Because I didn’t — I told you that I’d make a CELEBRATORY VIDEO. Now, let’s begin this long-ass bias list. | art credit !

NOTE: THIS IS KINDA LONG SO IF YOU HAVE A WRITTEN PORTION OR WANNA FIND UR URL JUST “CTRL + F + (UR URL)” smooch k thnx

@archerofmitrenzi​ / chase / big bro moist || HOOOO okay where do i begin here — I think I should just start of by saying thank you. because of all the people that i have met through this system, through this community, you’re the one that has helped me out the most emotionally — pulled me through and gave me a good slap in the spine when i needed it — and i definitely acknowledge that about you. i won’t go off rambling about how amazing i think you are, you already know that i think that, but i’d just like to remind you of it — because you’re not someone that i constantly have to validate. you’re strong like that, and i really admire that about you — you’re someone that just needs to be reminded that you’re unconditionally loved, and that is how i want to treat you. i’ll be honest, i was a little intimidated when i first met you — i had no idea what interest you had in me, or why you added me on skype. but i guess i’m just super thankful about that?? befriending you was a risk that i was willing to take — and i’m EXTREMELY glad i did. i really feel a brotherly, platonic love from you — and i’m so glad we share that. i don’t care how often or not we talk, because i’m not afraid to starting conversation with you — you’re really someone that i know wont judge me or anything.

i think that’s what i learned from you, big bro. i learned to be fearless.

@nenshori​ / yummy-chi but she’s yume to everyone else bc shes mINE?? || UMM ITS PROBABLY MORE APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO MENTION U IN A BIAS LIST FOR CHRYS BUt I dont care ur my girlfirend and i LOVE YOU?? i know you havent been around the community very much, but i respect to why you would or would not want to be here — out of fear as i know. i’ve already fallen the FUCK in love with seiji, and i absolutely love how you characterized him already — just by the conversations we have, i absolutely adore seiji. we have not even roleplayed too much, but i really fucking like your writing — it’s just so GOOD, and i really really really want to write just as good as you. your art is amazing as well, and i really think that you deserve so much more....as ur girlfriend, its my duty do this after all. so i’m going to try and make things so so so much better for you and so so so much more comfortable for you — that maybe you’ll come here and i can!!!! advocate my girlfriend!!!!!!!! bc i love you so much!!!!!!!

@pulveriizer​ / momiji || aight, i know we don’t talk too much anymore, but you really deserve to be on this list. you’ve been influential to me even now, even with our situation and how we’ve grown — we didn’t talk too much about our muses in canon, but i definitely had fun talking about the extremely fucked up despair au with you. i just didn’t need to hold back when it came to you, and i could tell you didn’t hold back with me either — and, ultimately, i think that’s what ended “us”. but i’m glad that “us” just became “you and me” — we’re both very different individuals with similar interests. and i find it extremely admirable that you still try to make conversation — I’M the lame one, and i know that. i guess i’m still just a little regretful, still just a little bit angry — but i know that  that has to change eventually. i can’t honestly comprehend it all, but i’m glad that your message is delivered in the morning and that you bid me a good day, even if nothing else is catered.

@vvintery​ / @raimented​ / nasuga / cosmo || OH COSMO... MY WHITE SINGLE CHRISTIAN DAD... honestly i was a bit intimidated by you at the beginning but??? when u messaged me about me portrayal of kiragi i was just “WHOA!!!!!” because i had never had such a lengthy and well-written review of my portrayal, ever. you honestly give me an unconditional care even though we fight all the time — that’s rlly what i like abt our relationship, just the fact that we can fight and we can totally make up from that if we needed to. you and gwen filled a void in me that i felt for a while when it came to the community, and i can’t express my gratitude. it’s just really nice having a friend like you. not to mention, i love felix and hatsuyuki SO MUCH — i’m so so SO happy we got to share memories with both accounts, and i really hope that we can continue to share said memories in the future.

@hanabari​ / @cursecut​ / gwen || OH GWENNY MY LOV.... HONESTLY YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOU (((AKA UR AMAZING))) AND THAT ME AND NASUGA WOULD FIGHT TO THE DEATH WHEN IT COMES TO OUTMATCHING EACH OTHER’S THOUGHTS OF HOW AMAZING YOU ARE.... you’ve honestly gone through SO much as one of my closer friends and i just?? want you to be happy, whether that be while you talk to me and nasu or you play the FUUCKFING JIMMY NEUTRON GAME... yes but anywho, you made so many memories for me??? and i love the connection u, me and nasu had shared .... i jus.... its indescribable. i hope that things look up for you because i know you deserve that, regardless of what you think for yourself or what you think you deserve — I THINK YOU DESERVE THE WORRRRLDDD

@bewitchinqs​ / bee || AAAAA BEEE.... my be... big sissy bee. you’re the big sister figure  — all the lovely people i’ve met, and i’ve grown to look at you as an inspiration as a person, graphic designer, writer — everything to be honest. you’re not just someone that is easy to talk to, you’re someone that is adored and loved in so so SO many ways, by SO MANY PEOPLE, and if i’m being honest, my love for you mayhaps only be a fragment of the whopping amount you receive and DESERVE. however, this doesn’t derive from the fact these are still the feelings i have about you — you’re really just ... whoa!! thats all i can really describe it as. because everything you do i “whoa!!”, and everything in whatever situation is “whoa!!” too. you’re a power figure to me — tbh you could run this whole community bc its in the palm of your hands. you’re just that great with people, and you’ve swayed my heart is well. thank you for being there for me —— thanks for the being the older sister i never had.

@maidfaire​ / @ofbraveskies​ / layla || LAYLAAAA... honestly??? if i could name someone dedicated to this community, it would be you. you’re the face i see all the time, and everyone loves you — rightfully so! your portrayal of felicia is much more wonderful and lovely than you take it to be. you’re extremely chill and you care very deeply about everyone in the community — i think that’s amazing to be honest. you’re sort of like that hometown sweetheart when it comes to the fire emblem community — everyone can approach you and you’re just so prominent here that it’s difficult to imagine this place without you. plus, i could never forget how you helped me, even though we aren’t on EXTREMELY CLOSE terms — another individual’s aid always sticks in my mind, and you’re someone that i can go to without being afraid. i think it’s because i know you’re not someone who judges others — i really like that about you!

@epeedelordre​ / @shir0uji​ / allison || OH YES ALLISON....ALLIBONBON.....can i just say that i love you?? so much??? being one of the people that’s made me feel wanted and made me feel EXCITED to actually log on and be on kiragi, that’s really really important when it comes to my motivation and my muse. i’ve never told you, or at least, i don’t think i have, but you did play a huge part in how much fun i had in the community — you made my presence feel like i was SOMETHING here, something other than a kiragi. even though your english isn’t good, i still found it really really nice to roleplay and to send you memes — i didn’t care about the quality of your writing, and i still do not. i personally think it’s amazing, because it’s something i can remember and work with. your shiro and your muses shine bright in my memories, and without you, i don’t think i would love this place as much as i do now. thank you for giving me happiness — i hope i had done the same with you.

@spalvingus​ / @fiiercespear​ / @bloomiingblade​ / jenn || aahhh jen ... can i just say that you portray such LOVELY ladies? i really find that your devotion to each and every one of your lady muses, even hinata, is extremely admirable. i can’t even begin to pick up myself and write someone like CAMILLA or HANA or even OBORO ... i look to you when it comes to inspiration to writing powerful female characters. i love how no-nonsense you write each and every one of your muses-- lydia is included in this. i was a bit intimidated by you when you first joined as takumi, but when i learned you were interested in my kiragi headcanons, i was glad to see things later blossomed from there. it’s very special to me when someone cares about what i have to say — i’m also very grateful that you go out of your way liking my ooc even though it’s completely unnecessary. i’m not sure if you know this, but just that being true gives me more motivation to be here, and i don’t think i’d still be as “active” as i am without your support.

@mysticalxwarriors​ / capri || lemme just say capri ... i couldn’t have loved spending the end of my summer with anyone else. honestly, i don’t know what got over me when i just started being on twitter more and more — but i’m honestly really glad about that? knowing that there was someone i could talk to about percy and kiragi — and we had so much fun, too. i never forget sending a line of never gonna give you up at midnight when you clearly told me not too. it’s just fun to rebel like that — and hey, it was also extremely fun to just know that there was somebody on twitter that i could talk to. and plus, i really love your percy for all he is — and your other muses, too! you’re just so passionate that it’s admirable — i think that’s great tbh. i hope that you’re having fun every day and that life is never boring for you.

@ofcoronellas / @northfaire​ / nero / n || where do i start with nero tbh ... honestly, you’re just a huge inspiration to me? you’re a great person and friend, and you’re so passionate about absolutely everything you do. i saw this when i first met you, and i still see it today onwards. you’re an amazing artist, and an equally amazing writer that i look up to! i really have to hand it to you when it came to just loving kiragi and loving percy and loving pretty much all of your muses, because you deliver justice to all of them that i don’t think anyone else could possibly do. i’m so glad that i got to meet you, considering you’ve just been this huge impact to how i play kiragi and figure out his character— some of his qualities were just thanks to you! you’re such a good person — kind as well. i don’t know how to put it in further words. i do hope that you continue doing what you love, because you’re really good at whatever you choose to do.

@maskedheir​ / @acerbicsamurai​ / shira || AHHH SHIRA ... can i just say? i really really love you. i love your devotion to your passions, and i love how you know what’s best for you, etc. i think that’s a really admirable and important part of a person. honestly, like i said, i was intimidated by you when we first met — i thought you didn’t like me, or you didn’t like my kiragi. i was this nooby roleplayer that had no idea what she was doing. i was extremely happy whenever you sent memes to me when i was just a baby, because that gave me interaction with a hisame — and i was craving some interaction with him in my early years. you delivered quite well! speaking of which, i could probably never portray your muses tbh — i just can’t do a grumpy old man, but you do saizo and hisame very well!! plus all your other muses, since you’re so versatile... again, that’s an admirable thing about you. i see how happy you are on saizo and i support what you’re doing and the break you’re on at the moment, but i had to give a shout out to you because you’ve impacted my portrayal of kiragi. you let me have fun, even when i was being a total kid. thanks for that, shira.

@unladylikc​ / @honorbourne​ / livi || i’d just like to start off with how gosh darn lovely your support is to me. honestly, it’s not often that i can find kiragi in a good situation (and unique) situation when it comes to ocs — double whammy for the uniqueness. but vivian’s relationship with kiragi is one that sticks out to me as something he has with an original character — it makes me feel like i’m writing him more diverse, like he deserved to be written as. i’d just like to say how much i enjoy kiragi and vivian’s friendship and apprenticeship at that — i’m sure my kiragi would say the same, considering how vivian’s guidance as a teacher is different than most he had learned from. and that’s really huge for me — having a relationship with a muse that doesn’t include the traditional studying and/or hunting scenario. it’s a breath of fresh air that i entirely appreciate. not only this, but i do love what we have going on with say’ri and kiragi as well — kiragi’s youth also bringing a fresh breath of air to say’ri. what i mean to say is, i think it’s important for both mun and muse to get a new experience and a new opportunity for new relationships for their muse — you do just that for me, and splendidly as well.

@bornxsteward​ / @sonofanohrian / cocoa || cocoa ... i know we’ve had some pRETTY ROUGH BUMPS IN THE ROAD... but oh my gosh. let me just say, you’ve grown SO MUCH since i first talked to you. as a writer, artist, and a person — that’s so so SO important to somebody that’s helped you through hard times, as well as someone who has gone through other victims of your situations and have been mistreated in the end. your changes and your kindness has improved tremendously, and i’m extremely glad with your progress. honestly, i’m really really happy for you! you’re doing such a good job being a dwyer, and you being happy and having fun is something that absolutely everybody deserves. i don’t know why others are blocking you or what you’re doing “wrong”, but i’ll simply say that not everyone has such a broad line of vision for a second chance. i’m so glad that i didn’t give up on you, because you’ve GROWN, and it SHOWS. i noticed that when we started talking again— and i hope that your writing hobby continues on, because i’ll say, you’re a great writer! please continue being extremely amazing.

@crimson-virtue​ / @ascendancisms​ / moon || i know you’re not on tumblr much anymore, but not without good reason. still, i really enjoyed your presence while you were here, moon — i didn’t find it weird you wanted to be friends, and i was ecstatic when you made saga. you honestly made me feel like there was still worth in friendship in the community — worth in getting close to someone, worth in getting to know people. i’m pretty sure you were the one to start conversation when we first met in the beginning, but i did love to talk to you — i didn’t care that you made a crapton blogs and a crap ton of muses, too. i was just happy that there was someone that wanted to talk to ME about that sort of stuff. despite all the people in the community, i was the one you talked to about that — and even though there were probably other people, too — you stuck around, even when you left. you scared me that first time, y’know?? i was worried about you suddenly leaving like that. but when someone filled me in, i was glad to know you were just doing what you felt was right for you. i think that’s what makes you an incredible individual. 

@retakinglory​ / @chiisaichiizu​ / isa || isa... lemme just say, you’re effin GREAT. like. i can’t put it to words tbh. i really love your portrayal of both foleo and shino — like?? i’m so for them?? idk if you know this, but i just don’t like forrest in general — but your portrayal of him, and how serious he is in post-birthright, and how much you develop him is really really REALLY good — so much that i can even tolerate him and LIKE him when it comes to you. plus, you’re so mature and i really want to be at your level when i’m older. i know i’m just a kid, and you’re way out of my range to perhaps think like, but it wouldn’t hurt to be inspired, right? plus, i really liked how we can just back and forth randomly throw our muses at each other. it makes me feel versatile and flexible with my portrayal. that’s a huge thing when it comes to me as a writer, and i’m sure you know that well! thank you for providing me with that experience. you rock.

@duskheir​ / @tactiumsordine​ / genesis || GENESIS... you’re SO FUN TBH, i do love talking to you when i get the chance. i know you’re not really on siegbert anymore so i have no idea what blog to tag you in, but since my kiragi has had the most interaction with your siegbert, i decided that would be the most appropriate. but GENESIS OMG... it was just fun to talk to you and joke around? i love to mess around with older people, though, that may kick me in the butt since i might have appeared as annoying — but regardless, it made me feel reassured as well knowing that you were someone i could talk to. i wasn’t afraid or felt burdening to make edits for you at all, because you took them in strides and you took me as a person wholly two. that’s important to me, as a person. plus, like isa, it was fun just to throw our muses back and forth and have a totally uncalled for roleplay. that’s SUPER fun when it comes to me and my muse, so thank you so much for that!

@fellheaven​ / @rebellefaire​ / kris || KRIS... I JUST!!! I LOVE YOUR MUSES!!!!! and your aesthetic too like?? holy MOLY.... when it comes to things looking good and looking pleasing to the eye, you’re the first person i think of. honestly. you have such a good eye for that sort of thing!! your eye for beauty can be exchanged back and forth between soft and sweet to hardcore and edgy, and that can be difficult for many people, but you seem to nail that on the spot. that’s what i look up to you for. not only that, you’re just a good person in general and you deserve much more love, appreciation, and free-time. and i lovE your kaze too? like?? he’s so soft help my soul?? AND I LOVE HAJIME, HIS COMPLETE OPPOSITE... ill be real i dont usually like dickhole characters like hajime but when i roleplay with him or see you writing for him it?? makes me feel more determined? especially with kiragi. kiragi feels extremely determined to get close to him, and i share the same feelings.i want to see hajime melt into a soft puddle....maybe one day.

@royal-botanist​ / @aim--and--reload​ / nessa || NESSA YOURE LIKE... the popular girl, hmu xoxoo baby doll. JHKJDFGSH IM JOKING, bbut omg, youre just so GOOD?? you’re popular for a very good reason!! you’re inclusive, nice, and you play a very popular muse well! you’re nowhere near intimidating, so you’re sort of like that approachable power figure in the community i suppose? bUT YEAH... other than me rambling about how popular you are, as i said, it isn’t without a good reason. you’re just an approachable, friendly character that everyone can really relate to, including me. and you advocate love for others, which is extremely important when it comes to people i like — it’s something you do without really thinking, and i appreciate you so much for that. your leo is PHENOMENAL, and i laugh everytime you log into nina! YOU JUST HAVE SUCH A REFRESHING SENSE OF HUMOR AND PRESENCE... and everybody is sure to acknowledge that! you’re just that great. i hope that you continue to stick around and take care of everybody. i know that they’ll take care of you in return.

@myfrillspaythebills​ / @theothervonkarmagirl​ || HAHA OKAY... honestly?? i’ve had so much fun roleplaying with you for the small time that we have been roleplaying!! i think you play your muses well so far, even if i don’t know the ace attorney fandom very well as well as your ocs. i can tell that you’ve fleshed them out in certain areas already and you carry on your roleplays with a steady pace that allows it to really feel like a drawn-out roleplay in favor of something that’s really rushed. which is what i love — it made me want to constantly throw replies back and forth!! and i hardly ever feel that with some roleplays, so having that experience again is a real blessing.

@icetribemaiden​ / @nohriansunshine​ / eli || oh eli ... i have nO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, but can i just say that you’re??? a wonderful friend?? and i really enjoy your portrayals. you work so hard to roleplay and write a spectrum of muses, and you aren’t afraid to either. because you roleplayed so many fire emblem muses, you were able to find what you wanted to write and what was most comfortable with you. which is really special to me, to be honest? i’m too scared to make a blog sometimes because i’m afraid i’ll lose the muse too quickly — and then i’ll die midway through, because i don’t want to archive the blog nor do i want to shut it down, because that would mean losing all my memories. i’m glad you don’t have that same fear, and i could honestly learn a thing or two from you — you’re just really good at that.

@gentlexbloom​ / luna || ahhh luna! i absolutely love you and your portrayal of sakura! i’m sure you already know how great of an author and writer you are — you have so many people that look up to you and love your writing. i’m one of them — it’s just so easy to beat back and forth with the way you write, which can be difficult with some people. your writing isn’t too broad, but it’s not intimidating — it’s approachable, but great. that’s something really unique you behold, which is probably why you have so many followers, too! you’re also extremely sweet and extremely supportive — your likes to my ooc posts don’t get unnoticed. actually, it’s you caring to like those posts that make me feel like i matter as a mun — that goes a long way, and if i could, i would respond to every like you give to every one of my dumb oocs posts just to tell you that i’m really happy that you care to have read whatever i post. that’s very special to me as a mun. i do hope you know that.

@melodiant​ / mari || MARI... can i just say? i really liked our friendship for how long that it lasted. i have no idea what’s going on in your life, but you’re probably extremely busy and you’re probably extremely caught up in something that restricts you from being here and talking to me. but i totally respect that and YOU for that matter — you’re such a good writer, and for a second gen, too! it makes me feel like that there’s hope for me and my muse, and it also made me feel super thankful to have someone who liked peragi too and was willing to talk to me about the ship when nobody else did. i also think you’re a splendid artist, and i use that one picture of sophie, kiragi, and percy in their orientation shirts as my lockscreen cover for my laptop. i just get reminded of you when i see it — it also makes me look back on what had happened, and it makes me regret not talking to you more. but i hope that you’re happy, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing — you’re amazing.

@eirenarchs​ / kentaro || kENTAROOOO... i know we don’t talk too much anymore, but i just want to say how much i enjoy your benny for how much you’ve been writing so far. i’m honestly hoping that one day you’ll return to us and you’ll write your amazing benny again, but for now, i can only hope that you’ll be able to at least read this and see what i have to say. honestly?? i’m so happy i’ve been friends with you for as long as we have — i know you’re extremely busy with your school life now, but i hope that things will be able to lighten up sooner or later, and that you and i will be able to talk again.

@clumsiiily / mina || AH YES HI REMEMBER ME??? THE CRAZY GIRL WHO CRIED OVER HER THEME?? — well yes i kept my promise, so here’s my formal special shout out to you. we don’t talk ooc sans that time you helped me, but honestly, such small acts of kindness give me hope for the world. you might not think it was a huge thing, y’know, telling me i just needed to disable a small little thing — but those little things can go a long way. because of you, i was saved from more hours of headache and scanning the internet for answers that were right under my nose. not only that, you play a wonderful sumia from what i have seen from you — absolutely great! it makes me wanna hop back on henry to try and rp —— but all in all, my real point in this is to say that your actions are not wasted. you really ARE kind from what i have experienced — i’m very glad you have a presence on the dash.

Others who have provided me with an enhanced Tumblr experience, whose presence has only improved my position in the community as well as opinion on their muses. Your writing is absolutely phenomenal and I wish to become better friends in the future!

@bliissfulist | @wanclerlust | @armsthriift | @achiingblood | @wildcardkinshi | @fatalimusae | @fxdingtofoam | @zimmercalla / @emblianess | @cxrsedsilence | @nilmen0s / all your other heckngin blogs | @diablisms | @haloiisms | @shrinity | @martyrgrit | @slashing-prices | @aiiron | @sunstrand | @haruspicem | @talentedseamstress | @notchedmind | @kenshiin | @maltrust | @vallablooded | @fraenr | @heiwanoryu | @darkestdiviner | @bonyarii / @tuosemper | @noblestson | @haikudreamer | @haikumaiden | @divincr | @nesufuratu | + everyone on my blogroll !! | YOU YOU WONDERFUL LITTLE PIECE OF HECK

[wheretheroadsplits]

12/31/2019

Dear Dad,

I havent written to you in while and I apologize for that. Usually when I write to you, its my time to greive and cry. I have been so busy with school and finals that I havent even given myself time to cry this month because of the holidays. Today is the last day of the year. To be honest I dont know how I feel about it. A part of me is excited to start a new year, a new chapter but at the same time a part of me is sad about it. So much has happened this past year that I dont know if Im ready to leave it behind. I know it doesnt mean that I am leaving you behind. I can never do that. But it just doesnt feel right. Ive been trying to be strong and to keep going because I know that is what you wouldve wanted. For us to continue our lives but I just miss you so damn much. It was hard being around Bri’s family during the holidays because I see her dad and Uncle Perno and I just kept thinking to myself about how much I want you to be here. It has been 9 months since you passed away and I still hear you breathing during your last few minutes. I close my eyes and I still see you laying there in the bed, no reaction or response. I still think about the last time I told you That I love you. Written on a wrote board because you lost your hearing and couldnt hear the words come from my own mouth. 9 months later and I still cry as if it just happened yesterday. I would do anything just have you back. I miss you so damn much Dad.

So much time has passed since I last wrote to you so I will catch you up on everything that has happened so far. Actually, alot of good things happened.

I finished my first semester of grad school! Honestly, it was not hard at all except for the finals. But it was mainly just alot of work, not really “hard”. I took three classes this past semester and I really loved all of them. I learned sooooo much and Im just excited to graduate and start my career. I had to do journal enteries and mine ended up being 25 single spaced pages... thats really what killed me this semester. It took so long but I actually did it. I recieved only 1 grade so far and its a 100% in my online class. You wouldve been so proud of me. I know i wasted so much time and money because I switched my major when I shouldve just kept my education major but I feel like this is where Im supposed to be. My life wouldve been way different if it didnt go down this path and honestly Im grateful that ot did.

Frankie got into the police academy!! You wouldve been beyond proud of him dad! I am so happy that he finally figures out what he wanted to do with his life. He has struggled so much over the years, I am glad that he is finally happy. He loves living with Shari. He is officially a traitor and began being an eagles fan 🤢 But I guess we can forgive him for that since he is now a south jersy boy, right? He came home for christmas and it felt good to be all together. Crazy to think that the last time we were all together was two years ago for christmas. We spent christmas just the 5 of us in our house and it was the best christmas by far. I know Frankie wouldve wanted to be here last year for your last christmas with us, but we didnt know it was going to be the last. I wish we did. On the other hand, Frankie and Shari are doing really good. Still fighting but not as bad. That will never change because lets be honest, Frankie can be an asshole and Shari is an air head. Oddly enough they compliment eachother. I know he misses you even though he doesnt say it or show it.

Guess what dad.....YOUR GOING TO BE A GRANDPA!!!!!Jess and Franklin told us on christmas! We were so excited! There will finally be a lil one of us running around haha. It is still super early so we cant tell anyone just yet but it is all so exciting. I kno Jess is a lil sad because you wont be here for this experience but she is hanging in there. You wouldve been an amazing grandpa. I just keep picturing you sleeping on the couch with our kids laying on your chest sleeping, just like how you did when we were little. Franklin is a great man and he will be an amazing father. Jess and the baby are in great hands dad, you wont have to worry about them. Franklin is taking really good care of them.

Bri is thinking about going back to school become an OTA. She is so excited about it, I know this would be perfect for her. Im glad that she is finally figuring out what she wants to do with her life. We decided to start working out and eating healthy this new year. I know weve said it so many times before but this is it. We are going to make changes this coming year. I cant imagine doing all this without her. She has been my rock. I am so in love with her dad, I dont even know how to describe it. I really do see myself being with her for the rest of my life. I wish you got to know her like this. But im just happy that you got to meet her and you knew the truth. The main thing was that I wanted you to meet the woman that I love and you did. I plan on to marry her one day, and I wish you could have been there but I will save you a seat up front next to mommy. I know you loved me very much and accepted us being together.

Christmas didnt feel the same at all. I do not think any of us was in the holiday spirit but we all tried to be for Mommy. Mommy over did it with the gifts this year. But she does every year so are you actually surprised by that? I joked around and said that its because you werent here to tell her no haha She misses you so much. I can tell that she was sad to not have you here this year. I invited her to Bri’s family on Christmas eve and she actually came! It look like she had alot of fun, Im just glad that she came out with us instead of being home alone after Aunt Rosaria’s house. Today is New Years Eve and she is spending it with Jessica and Franklin. She was going to stay home alone but I guess they convinced her to go over. I told her that I would stay home with her but she told me not to. I just dont want her to be alone tonight. She is a very strong woman, you married a wonderful person. I honestly dont know where I would be if it was not for her.

Finally, Luigi, Lily and Layla love you. Luigi misses you and still lays down on your recliner and sleeps on your side of the bed. Dont worry Dad, hes keeping Mommy good Company. Still being a pain in the ass ofcourse!

Its crazy. When you were sick, I thought I was okay. I thought that I came to terms with what was going to happen. And I remember sitting around the table with Mommy, frankie, jessica & franklin and we were just talking about it when you were in the hospital. Frankie said that we are okay now but what is really going to hurt is down the line when the significant life moments happen, and your not here to experience it with us. I knew that it was going to hurt but I never knew that these moments would come so soon. Frankie moving out, jessica married and pregnant, Me and bri, going back to college, getting Layla. All of these moments that you should be here for and you are not. That is what hurts the most.

Its going to be a new year and I am still going to hold you very close to my heart. I will continue writing you letters and thinking about you every day. I will continue to take care of this family and be there for them when they need it. I will continue making you proud in every way possible.

I miss you and I love you more than anything.

Love always,

Your little girl

Gabriella xoxo