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#hazbin hotel crush
colourstreakgryffin · 3 months
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So…
Alastor is a deer, yes? How would a relationship with him and a Coyote Reader go, I’ve been having brain rot over it for the past few days, it’s just to ironic
Much love xoxo
I definitely can do! Hehe. I love contrasts like this and I think about stuff like this too. I chose bears, not coyotes. It’s so silly yet perfect! Alastor out here hating dogs so this’ll be an enemies to lovers thing… not my favourite but new
Alastor- The Prey and the Predator
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Let’s get this clear… Alastor does not like dogs. He actively dislikes dogs so when he finds you. A coyote sinner, he is not interested and he’ll avoid you like the plague. You remind him too much of the dogs of his past that he despises
For a while, Alastor has a one-sided disliking towards you. Solely because you’re a Coyote sinner but after some more time of working/staying at the hotel. He begins to examine you more as a person and less for your canine features
And he realises just how much of a prick he was being for… mostly no reason. You are a dog on the outside but you’re a dove on the inside, Alastor supposed he can try get around the whole Coyote thing you have… it’s not like you want to be a Coyote
Alastor goes from ignoring and snarling at you openly to shyly approaching you with a bouquet of roses and asking for you to forgive him. It’s so interesting how hew went from closed-off, uncaring and hateful to your overall presence to clearly having a fat crush on you. Your personality is beautiful, he eventually can ignore the dog features
Now. If you think you’re the one who’s dom in this relationship, just because you’re the coyote and Al’s the deer. You’re very wrong. Al’s a predator in a prey’s body, a wolf in deer’s fur. He is in charge and he’s the one hunting you down
Alastor has a mix of prey and predator instincts around you when you’re angry. He has the urge to subdue you when you’re in your own predator instincts mode but he also has the urge to avoid you. His predator urges always wins though
However, you swear you can smell delicious fresh venison off the Radio Demon… he does smell gorgeous but you’re not a cannibal like that
Alastor actually can’t help but find the way your tail wags when he pets through your ears and the soft dog-like whines of happiness you let out when hugging him… insanely cute. He may not like dogs but he has a exception for this precious coyote
Alastor doesn’t find it funny when you joke about eating him. It’s quite a sensitive topic and he regularly asks you to not make any type of joke, such as that. This connection you share with him may have grown from being a one-sided hatred to a full-blown relationship but that doesn’t mean he will completely excuse all dog-like mannerisms you have
Alastor actually really likes it when you climb into his lap and curl up. You’re the same size as Vaggie, maybe a bit taller. You’re a shorter person but you’re not so small to be identified as an actual Coyote, you just have the ears and tail but yet. Here you are, curled up and sleeping in his lap in the most canine-like way possible
Alastor has a bad sense of general personal hygiene but yet, he needs you to regularly check up on your own personal hygiene since he cannot stand the smell of your wet dirty fur…
Angel Dust definitely gave you a collar and leash for your birthday, as a sick joke and Alastor is like… “may we use it?”
Alastor enjoys grooming your fur. Your soft, you may let out a few coyote growls here and there but you’re not going to hurt him so he can trust you to stay obedient and still whilst he brushes through your ears and tail
Alastor has made a cute and convenient rule with you; you both communicate in emergencies through animal noises. You’ll bark coyote-like out, he’ll bleat deer-like out. It’s the way you two alarm each other of something happening. The second you bark, he knows something is going down and you’re calling for him
Alastor lets you touch him and his deer features, no problem and no need for permission. Your claws aren’t that strong and all you really have is incredible speed, agility, jaw strength and night vision. You don’t actually have any ability to harm him, even when he flinches here and there, out of pure instinct
Alastor calls you a ‘bitch’ all the time to other people and out loud, all to screw and mess around with you. He’s an asshole of a classy gentleman, he’ll be offensive. Even to his partner! Yes, you’re a bitch but you’re his bitch
Alastor, at one point, will finally open up about his trauma centred around dogs and explain to you exactly why he treated you so awfully at first. How he went from a hater to a lover. He is so glad you’re quite understanding and patient with him so when he lays down the rules of your relationship with him, you accept them and that grows his love for you even more
You’re incredible, for being part a wild vicious canine such as a Coyote, darling~!
“My dear. Let’s ease up on the growling, what’s gotten you so irritate? Did you get into another disagreement with my fellow, Husk?”
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mr-malumm · 2 months
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Stayed gone but vox narrates his passive aggressive insecure ass scrolling text from the bottom of his broadcast 👊💥📺
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shadebloopnik · 3 months
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"He asked me to join his team."
"I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea."
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The idea of him rejecting Vox's was already hilarious, but when i realized the Vees were a polycule, it made it so much funnier-
Because like, this could go down 3 ways
1.) Alastor was being really generous here. Telling the public that he rejected Vox when Vox was in love with him would have done so much more damage. He chose not to, either bc he doesn't find it as entertaining, or bc he maybe feels a little bit of pity for the guy.
2.) Alastor knows, same as above, except he doesn't say it purely because he's so creeped out by it. He's so fcking disgusted by it, he'd rather not be reminded.
3.), The most PROBABLE one, and for me, most hilarious, is that Alastor doesn't know shit. Look, this is the guy who doesn't know his own SEXUALITY, not even when his bestie Rosie knows. He doesn't know he's ace, nor does he bother to pay attention. He probably, GENUINELY thought Vox was just offering to work together, and found it so amusing that Vox is so worked up by it. Like to him, the guy was throwing a tantrum bc he didn't join their team, how childish (what? He rejected him? Why yes, he rejected a job offer, that much was quite obvious thank you for noticing). So there's just this guy dealing with a rejection, absolutely batshit obsessed with him, and Alastor still thinks its bc of a silly lil teamup.
Edit: Confirmed they aint canon poly, which will not stop fanon lmaoooo. They're poly in my heart😔😔✨✨✨ Also the fact that they're called a Vee(a sort of poly relationship) and their vibes being a complete coincidence is hilarious to me lmao. This is another destiel situation lmaooo
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barb-l · 3 months
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I know we all love to make fun of Charlie for blushing and twirling her hair over some lady she found half dead by the dumpsters but like...
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... can you blame her?
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xirvso · 1 month
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Vox just wants Alastor to himself lmao
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You cannot tell me he doesn’t feel slightly jealous that Alastor is willing to partner with Charlie but not him.
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finn-cipher · 1 month
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Inner Feelings
Gotta love one-sided Love :>
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ckducky · 1 month
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Bi-Pure Coincidence
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thief-of-eggs · 1 month
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fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck who gave them a RIGHT to make this goofy ahh animated depressed single dad so hot????
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Vox has terrible taste in men. Like between Alastor, a canabalistic serial killer with the worst haircut I've ever seen who is both aroace & so emotionally constipated and egotistical that he can't even FRIENDZONE you because that'd be showing weakness, and Valentino, a fucking serial abuser/rapist who is so fucking stupid and bull-headed that you have to scream in his face to make him listen and even then only understands what you're trying to tell him after you've gone through a step by step process of the most basic ideas, that man can NOT catch a break dear god-
His taste in women is pretty good tho Velvette's great :)
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chaoticace2005 · 3 months
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Vaggie: Why do you look like that?
Sir Pentious, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?
Vaggie: Like you’re dead.
Sir Pentious: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.
Angel: He accidentally called Cherri “his beloved” in front of everyone today.
Sir Pentious: *sobs into the floor*
Sir Pentious, muffled: Do you think she would believe me if I said that everyone was my beloved?
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colourstreakgryffin · 2 months
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HELLO! If you are taking requests can you do a Dazai Osamu! Reader with Alastor, Lucifer and Husk? Both romantic and platonic please. If you are uncomfy with it its perfectly fine!
Hehe! Okay. I actually haven’t gotten Lucifer or Husk yet and I like both of ‘em! I’ve written about this character before, Dazai Osamu but since it’s different, I’ll try it but i am sorry, I can’t manage over six over six-to-seven headcanons for the three boys in both platonic and romantic so just romantic it is! I hope that’s okay!
Alastor
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Romantic
Alastor feels like he has to have you on a leash 24/7 and whilst it’s annoying, he wouldn’t mind being near you all the time. You’re a cunning and sophisticated person but you’re also quite suicidal and lazy at times so he has to have a eye on you all the time to ensure he won’t walk into you trying to make a joke, out of stabbing yourself
Alastor is quite protective. You’re a suicidal maniac and you even openly say to him you want to properly die with him, die with a handsome man and he is repulsed by this idea so he has to always cling you onto him to control your very bad habits and bad mannerisms. He will get you over them eventually, as your boyfriend, he cares about your health and he is thankful that you reciprocate
Alastor is glad when you’re more into your funny, caring state. When you’re more of an approachable and good person. Because then, it’s a golden opportunity to bond with you and not act as your damn suicide prevention police. He much prefers when you’re not fantasising and being picky about how you get erased then fail to complete these processes
Alastor’s quite impressed by your skills. You’re the strongest and youngest mafia leader back in your human life and your current sinner life so you have the passion you act you don’t and you’re more mature then you behave as. He is proud when he can watch you take charge and lead around the Hotel with your own knowledgeable being the main guide
Lucifer
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Romantic
Lucifer is a goofy sweetheart so you bet your ass that he is very good at keeping you passive and giggling, away from your dark mind. You’re always smiling and joking around with the King of Hell since he can handle you very well. He is as caring but he treats you like you’re made of glass. Something he won’t stop doing until your obsession over suicide dies out
Lucifer likes how mysterious you can be. You’re not entirely open, which he understands whilst being immensely open himself. He will just have to win your trust and your ability to express yourself over time as your new partner. You’re dark and enigmatic, if not the opposite of Lucifer and it’s a wonder why he likes you so much and he could write a book about why he likes you
Lucifer loves how committed and willing you are. You’ll do even the most shady things for him and he always feels both extreme pride and the extreme desire to scoop you up in his mighty six wings to kiss your face off. You’re so loyal and you do so much for him, it’s not a surprise that he sticks to you like he’s glued onto your hip
Lucifer is actually quite protective to you. He doesn’t want you touching even the smallest weapon, even if you’re an adult as well but because of your mental issues and how suicide trigger-happy you are. At least, you do have a good sense of humour and have a fun-loving side through how much you tease people, it’s adorable! Lucifer does like them, it, for some reason, soothes him hearing you play around more genuinely
Husk
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Romantic
Husk is a grumpy, quiet but yet patient and considerate man. He may be older but he is still caring and makes a wonderful partner. Especially for this carefree and relaxed soul, one who expresses their suicidal tendencies quite a lot. Husk knows about your suicidal desires and for that, he has such a sharp’s tiger eye on you
Husk(in reality, of these three boys) is the most healthy to date. He is gruff and emotionless on the outside but compassionate and gentle on the inside, he is a Tsundere at best and he doesn’t mind being stern with you when you’re falling down a rabbit hole or trying to harm yourself like it’s some comedy show. You’re life is beautiful and you need to see that
Husk relates to you a lot, on deep levels. You’re both lonely, you’re both lazy, you’re both basically done with everything but you have each other, you both hide your real selves and your genuine personality under a armour of behaviours, so Husk acts as the proper one for you two. He tries to encourage you to join him whenever-wherever and to try put your wits and intellect to good use. He’d feel so proud of you if you did
Husk always sticks around you. He never leaves you alone, he doesn’t want you hurt so he takes you to bed with him, he cuddles you to his side whenever you’re both walking, he even comes into the bathroom with you. He does it for many reasons, mainly because he feels so comfortable with you
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samd1o1 · 3 months
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So I was looking at my Socials PFP and Discord PFP and then I noticed;
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These are the same fucking smile
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blood-loving-leech · 3 months
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ANGELS FACE WHEN CHARLIE SAID “it’s nice to have someone interested for once!” ABOUT SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SAD HE DIDNT DESERVE THAT
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allerg1cvilly · 1 month
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24-compass-roses · 3 months
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Hc that Vox asked Alastor out a few years ago before he left and that’s what Alastor really meant by “he asked ME to join his team!!!” in Stayed Gone bc he just. Wildly misinterpreted his archenemesis going “hey we should be together”
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