#he ain't Godzilla!

[chernobog13]

"Godzilla? No, you've got the wrong guy, officer. I ain't never heard of no Godzilla."

[ruubesz-draws]

Wwwweeeeeee~

Ion dude probably regretting his life choices

That one scene from the Monarch series ep. 10

(Inspired by this gif:)

[shukuchiisms]

~~

[mewtwoandme]

Jerico and Godzilla meets, how will it go?

It wouldn't be an epic battle of the ages that people might think it would be. Jeo's powerful, but he ain't stupid XD

[sonicasura]

You know what would be hilarious? A scenario where Kafka ends up raising a Godzilla/Gojira. Yes, I'm still on a kaiju kick and just saw the latest Kaiju No 8 episode so why not?

It all happens at least 12 years before canon during a job. The latest Kaiju corpse was a digger class whose constant tunneling had severely damaged the ground so the Monster Sweepers were already walking on eggshells. Kafka was gathering a DNA sample until the ground collapses underneath him.

He falls into a hidden chamber where a single giant 9 ft tall egg stands before him. The item hatches covering Kafka in yolk as a baby Godzilla/Gojira emerges much to his dismay. He's at first worried about being a snack until the baby licks him and implants a larger fear. The infant had imprinted on him.

Little Gojira/Godzilla flees before rescue services shows up to rescue Kafka. The man doesn't mention the baby and lies saying he fell into an already hatched egg. Kafka thinks it won't be important as he prays the tiny kaiju forgets him.

NOPE! Not even a day later, the man wakes up to scratching on his apartment door. The baby came back and truly imprinted on him. Kafka doesn't know what to do at all. He's trying to join the Defense Force, which kills Kaiju, and having a baby one believing he is its parent contradicts the entire idea.

Kafka doesn't think he can snuff out Gojira/Godzilla's life and reluctantly accepts his fate. Thus the man commits one of the biggest taboos by raising the baby lizard. Gojira/Godzilla is a bit different from the kaiju in KN8 series.

He has no core and can't be tracked by the Defense Force's systems. An anomaly that earned Gojira/Godzilla the title 'Phantom Kaiju'. There have been calls but the Big G always flees before he could be properly identified.

While raising Gojira/Godzilla, Kafka often snuck him to the clean up site so he could eat off the corpses. He wanted to make sure the little guy was big and strong enough to fend for himself out in the wild. Kafka taught Gojira/Godzilla to avoid the Defense Force at all times while not being a hassle to any nearby civilians.

Even when his kaiju son grew to the size of a house, surprise visits were bound to happen. Kafka's bond with Gojira/Godzilla has grown to the point that they can understand and sense each other's presence. Something which drags the kaiju into the Defense Force's crosshairs once the man gains his powers.

(Our Kaiju is an adolescent during canon, 80 meters in size, as his fully grown size will be 120m. My personal take is a mix between 1993 Zilla and the current Monsterverse iteration because I'm very familiar with both. Grump with a side of little shit behavior wise.)

Gojira/Godzilla immediately tracks down Kafka upon his first transformation that fateful night. You can bet Reno wasn't exactly ready to find out his senpai raised a kaiju in secret for 12 years, much less the infamous Phantom. He was absolutely throwing out theories about Gojira/Godzilla being linked to Kafka's Kaiju form, which the man vehemently denies.

The man ain't escaping the Phantom Kaiju is Kaiju No 8's biological child theories though. Gojira/Godzilla gonna show up whenever Kafka uses his powers like in canon because their bond translates it as a signal flare. Think an emotion based Bat Signal to a giant Batman.

Gojira/Godzilla will retain their Phantom Kaiju title since he was never properly registered in the system years ago. The big guy is still associated with Kafka's kaiju form as he almost always shows up. Our dear himbo definitely working on that since he doesn't want his son to keep misinterpreting his transformation like that.

Kafka and Gojira/Godzilla are two disastrous peas in a pod who drags everyone into their insanity.

[i-mean-technically]

Y'all ain't ready for this

In the Monsterverse Kong is Gen Z

Godzilla is whatever the fuck comes after the Boomers, Gen Alpha?? Idk

And Mothra is literally essentially immortal bc she's constantly reincarnating when she dies

Kong signing 'skill issue' at Trapper and someone catches it on camera, posts it, and he's now the mascot for the younger generations. An Internet Icon, hashtag gay, all that

[yakuzacanons]

Yakuza Headcanons: Watching Spooky Movies

Oooooo it's the spooky season ain't it. Hello hello I rise from the grave to bring you some fresh headcanons for the season. For those with asks still in the inbox, I SEE em, just been busy with my horror movie marathon. Anyways, some headcanons below da cut to tide you over. Also welcome bouncing baby boy Ichiban to the gang!

Kiryu Kazuma

Isn't scared easily by much of anything so it's really easy to get him to watch horror movies. Mostly watches them because someone else is too scared to watch them alone. He's the person they can hide behind or who will tell them when a particularly horrifying scene is over.

Gore doesn't bother him as much as something or someone looking creepy or offputting will. Kiryu still won't get scared but he will get uncomfortable. Most of the time he just reacts by going "Ah... oh!"

Fond of the classics and will gravitate towards movies with a strong and likable protagonist. Likes The Evil Dead, Aliens, and Halloween. Directors don't matter much to him.

Majima Goro

He's a mixed bag. If a movie is well put together, then it can scare him pretty easily. He's most scared of ghost stories or paranormal things. Least afraid of slashers because he thinks he could just beat them all up.

Cannot stand jump scares. Sometimes he evens yells at his TV at home in irritation, saying things like "Oi, whaddya keep makin' loud noises for? Sheesh!"

Honestly, the weirder the movie the better. It might seem stereotypical for someone who looks and acts like Majima but he thinks the whole point of horror is to be interesting. Fond of Takashi Miike movies like Ichi the Killer, Audition, and Over Your Dead Body.

Akiyama Shun

Doesn't watch a lot of movies because he totally falls asleep during most of them. He'll at least give it a shot if you ask nicely though. Honestly more motivated by the fact you might cling to him during the scary parts than anything.

As much as Akiyama is a total ladies' man and romantic at heart, he always laughs whenever characters start being intimate during horror movies. He makes jokes out of it, saying things like "Babe, would you still love me if we were in a spooky movie?"

Movies with a good soundtrack actually help him stay awake. Jump scares annoy him though because if he falls asleep, the noise makes him panic. Fond of monster movies or movies about animals like Jaws, Shin Godzilla, and The Host.

Saejima Taiga

Genuinely not scared of a single darn thing. If you want to watch it, he's down to give it at least a try. He might nod off if he's tired or bored, but he tries his best not to. Horror comedy is okay with him too although he might not get all the jokes.

Most of the time he sits with his arms crossed, paying full attention. He's kind of funny in that he makes noises like "Heh" or "Hmph" when a character is caught off guard by something. Makes an occasionaly "Tsk" sound at jump scares. Otherwise he's not reactionary.

Particularly fond of slashers, probably because those usually have villains that are actually kind of his size. He enjoys the Friday the 13th series, particularly Jason X.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Type of guy to be like "Ooh let's watch this, I heard it's really scary" and then proceed to either get scared out of his wits or say something like "Wait, that's ALL?" at the end. Bases most of his movie choices off of other people's recommendations since he's usually too busy to randomly go see however many movies he wants to.

Doesn't really like horror that's super in your face. Gets more scared by the tension itself than anything. Always has movie snacks on hand.

Found footage is probably his most favorite type of horror. Likes The Blair Witch Project, Noroi, and REC. Fond of director Koji Shiraishi.

Ryuji Goda

Doesn't watch a lot of horror movies but like Saejima he's not scared of anything. He's also the type of guy to drop everything to spend time watching a movie with his partner. Gets a kick out of being a shield or protector during scary parts.

Likes movies with a lot of personality and campiness. Slow burns or psychological thrillers just put him to sleep. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, as long as it's entertaining.

Didn't think he'd end up being much of a horror fan but he's quite partial to John Carpenter. Likes The Thing, They Live, and Christine.

Nishikiyama Akira

One of the bigger scaredy cats of the group. Won't suggest a horror movie but will totally act like he's not at all afraid if you ask to see one.

Honestly, the two of you end up just kind of holding onto each other during scary parts or pulling up the blanket almost over your eyes when a character is about to die. Violence doesn't necessarily bother him but excessive gore kind of annoys him.

Enjoys a good ghost story movie but only if you'll watch it with him. Anthologies are also good too since it offers so much at once. Likes Ju-On, Ringu, and Tales From The Crypt.

Mine Yoshitaka

Likes certain horror movies. Not scared of much but he does get noticably uncomfortable with torture movies like Saw or Hostel. He just finds it to be weird more than entertaining.

Fond of more classic monsters like vampires or werewolves. Mine's the type of guy to actually have a decent home theater setup, even if he doesn't get much time to use it, so he doesn't go to the movie theater much.

Has a soft spot for some of the really old classics in the 30's like Frankenstein or Nosferatu. His favorite horror movie is Interview With The Vampire.

Daigo Dojima

Probably the only one of the boys who actively enjoys slow burns and more psychological horror. He doesn't get opportunities to watch movies much but he does have an interest in the medium as a whole.

Particularly loves anything with spectacular cinematography. Good directing, lighting, or costumes really impress him. Kind of interested in some of the technical aspects as well. Also probably the only of the boys to ever look something up on IMDb.

Especially fond of movies by Kiyoshi Kurosawa. His favorite horror films are Kwaidan, Cure, and Pulse.

Tatsuo Shinada

The biggest scaredy cat of all of the boys. Will attempt to watch a spooky movie with you at least once just for the sake of trying but will honestly just close his eyes if he feels overwhelmed. You HAVE to hold his hand though.

Probably the only one of the boys who actually gets squeamish easily. Gore and blood make him uncomfortable, although he has SOME tolerance in general. He'd just rather watch something that's not super heavy on bloodshed.

Horror films with a particular visual style, especially super colorful ones, make it a lot easier for him as he can actually see what's happening and he feels less worried. Movies like House or Suspiria are good for him. Also likes super over the top movies like The Lost Boys or Killer Klowns From Outer Space as they're so hilarious to him that he forgets to be scared.

Kasuga Ichiban

Somewhat easily scared. He gets more shocked or surprised than scared, honestly. The movie HAS to be interesting to some degree or he will just conk out and there will be no waking him. Doesn't mind jump scares since they help keep him awake at least even if the movie's bad.

Having said that, he does enjoy taking the time to see a movie that's genuinely just really good and talking about it with you afterward. Movies with really good effects tend to impress him a lot. It's also more visually memorable.

Tends to like movies where the main character has special powers. Partial to zombie movies since a lot tends to happen and involves multiple characters. He likes 28 Days Later, The Dead Zone, and Carrie.

[titanus-helsing]

HELLO DEAR AUDIENCE MEMBER

Do you like Godzilla, lackadaisy, Hazbin hotel, helluva boss and fantastical mysteries about the possible end times?

Step into the mystic realms of PREHISTORIC chaos, ladies and gentlemen! It's a once-in-2000-years spectacle that'll shake the foundations of reality itself! Presenting... AIN'T THAT A BITE!

the very fabric of reality is tearing at the seams, and only the wardens are prepared enough to deal with this threat

(One pictured here)

(art by @mjtheartist04 and @gay-trashcan-cat)

Dive into the heart-pounding premiere where dimensions collide, and the line between monsters and men blurs like never before! Witness the city's skyline become the stage for the ultimate showdown between colossal creatures and the Wardens, this realm's last line of defense, they're ready to face the unknown and stand tall against the impending collapse of two worlds!

And who better to guide you through this otherworldly adventure than the charismatic Horizio! he's not just chasing Monsters, he's chasing destiny itself!

(art by @mjtheartist04)

Watch as the boundaries between realities blur, unleashing chaos like never before! It's a spectacle so electrifying, you'll question what's real and what's a dream. Are you ready to be on the edge of your seat...?

(as of now I don't have any designs for Godzilla and co. That I feel confident enough in posting but have this elevator pitch!!!)

@standard-human @sleepymilkcarton @gay-trashcan-cat @mjtheartist04 @littlemissatlas

[hrodvitnon]

Just had a couple of thoughts on the “different species of Titans interbreeding” idea!

The way I’m planning on handling that concept in my MonsterVerse AU fics, if/when it comes up, would be that whenever two Titans from different species interbreed, the resulting offspring will always be mostly identical to one of the parents’ species, except for one or two physical features or traits inherited from the other parent: basically they’re 95% one species and 5% the other. Going by that logic, for example, Leo would be almost entirely a Titanus Mosura, with a bit of Titanus Gojira mixed in (like maybe he has a row of spikes running down his back, and the ability to fire concentrated atomic-energy beams like his dad).

In addition, for each individual hybrid offspring, the odds are always basically 50/50 when it comes to which species they’ll favor. So instead of Titan hybrids always taking after their mother, it could always potentially go either way. And if there are multiple offspring born at the same time (say, if the mother is from a species that typically lays a clutch of eggs instead of just one), the odds are 50/50 for each of them, so you’d likely end up with a mixed bag: some resembling the father, some resembling the mother.

As far as the Shamhat AU goes, obviously that doesn’t need as much of an explanation since there’s more magical stuff going on there, but I feel like the same logic could potentially work: maybe human/Titan hybrids all start out human-sized when they’re born, but for some of them they’re born looking like their Titan forms and quickly grow to their true size over time, while others stay almost entirely human but develop superhuman strength & other special abilities instead (like maybe a child of Rodan can manipulate fire, a child of Godzilla can breathe underwater, a child of Mothra can heal other people’s wounds, that kind of thing).

Interspecies Titan Genetics is fun to imagine in that sense because there could be hundreds of ways potential offspring can look! And yeah, Shamhat is very much in the realm of "It's Smut, I Ain't Gotta Explain Shit!" but now that you bring it up it would be amusing to see Vivienne and Rodan's firstborn being either a fire-bending but otherwise normal human-ish baby or just a real itty bitty Rodan bebbeh.

[chernobog13]

"Take that, ya Godzilla-wannabe!"

Jirahs has apparently gotten on Arashi's last nerve!

[ruubesz-draws]

Godzillas in the rain. Look at them, trying to be good big brothers to Minus :') Then there's Ultima.

(I headcanon that Earth is the oldest (because I said so), MV is the second oldest, Shin is the third oldest, Ultima is the second youngest and Minus is just baby)

Minus one being the chihuahua in the family lol

[mcflymemes]

THE HANGOVER PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2009 film

it says here we should work in teams.

why don't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?

you're in for a real treat today.

i see guys like you in here every fucking day.

you found the car?

i just wish your friends were as mature as you.

i'm thinking about getting my bartender's license.

you're such a bad person.

you're actually gonna wear that, or are you just fucking with me?

by the way, we're all gonna die.

at least our trip wasn't a total loss.

hey, what's that on your arm?

would you shut up and drive before any of these nerds asks me another question?

this does not seem fair.

do i have any volunteers?

watch it, pervert!

that's not a purse. that's a satchel!

we had a great fucking time.

you're not really wearing that, are you?

we all do dumb shit when we're all fucked up.

why are you peppering the steak?

no chance. cash only.

what the fuck happened last night?

am i missing a tooth?

who does shit like that?

we're not even going to be in the room.

you just have to get to know them better.

this is my favorite part coming up now.

we don't want to call attention to ourselves.

you guys ready to let the dogs out?

it's no big deal.

we call this place "loserville."

you cool with that?

it's where i keep all my things.

trust me, it's not worth the fight.

your language is offensive.

don't let the beard fool you. he's a child.

what're you talking about?

indiana jones wears one.

you are a fucking moron.

you're an idiot.

where the hell are you? i'm freaking out.

let's go, handsome.

i don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight.

it hurts too much.

i'm not cool with that.

now, it's real simple.

whatever happens tonight, i will never, ever, ever speak a word of it.

listen... uh. we fucked up.

are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of the baby?

who said anything about gambling?

pull yourself together, bro.

suck my dick.

all you got to do is point, aim, and shoot.

why would you go to las vegas?

you don't know for sure?

things got out of control.

i should have been a fucking cop.

seriously. i don't care what happens. i don't care if we kill someone.

i feel weird having to ask you twice.

can i ask you another question?

it's at the corner of get a map and fuck off.

you can do this. just focus.

that's not what you do.

i'm pretty sure that's illegal.

we're getting married in five hours.

if it's what i think it is, it's a big fucking mistake.

i can't afford to lose somebody close to me again.

this isn't the real caesar's palace is it?

i keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger.

it's not gambling when you know you're gonna win.

it's not illegal.

whose fucking baby is that?

you heard me!

i'm on your side!

yeah... that's not gonna happen.

i'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time.

i shouldn't be here.

where'd you get that cop car from?

boy, you've got a sweet ride there.

don't listen to this maniac.

we're shit out of luck.

how's my hair?

it was a real pleasure meeting you.

what if he got out?

you are literally too stupid to insult.

there's a phone in your room.

oh, how cute.

do me a favor. don't text me. it's gay.

whatever this is ain't working for me.

you might not know this, but i consider myself a bit of a loner.

wait a second. could it be?

i stand corrected.

are you nuts?

i don't know you. you do not exist.

would you please put some pants on?

i hate godzilla! i hate him too!

that was once, and i was out of line.

this isn't your fault.

i'll get you some pants.

remember, what happens in vegas stays in vegas.

right in the nuts!

don't touch it. don't even look at it.

i say we delete it right now.

did you have to park so close?

i met you like four times.

that was beautiful! well done!

i'll hit an old man in public.

i want to find out how i went to the hospital.

we're going to be okay.

that's highly unlikely.

[averageartistamber]

Heavy Spoilers for Godzilla X Kong under the image

Birb.

Text reads:

Rodan, the Fire Demon

Height 70 meters, Wingspan 150 meters and Weight 16,000 metric tons.

Okay, so as I said yesterday, I ended up having a pretty good time with Godzilla X Kong. It's very Showa in it's tone, complete with all sorts of goofy stuff. Probably the funniest movie in the Monsterverse so far.

First of all, the pacing's pretty fast and quite a lot happens. Like, we get a lot of Kong stuff, he's pretty much the protagonist and the main plot revolves around him looking for and finding others of his kind, then noticing that they're in a bit of trouble, and well, doing something about it.

The Humans were rather enjoyable this time round. I think over time Legendary's just gotten way better at writing their human characters. New human Trapper is pretty awesome, beimng this Steve Irwinny crazy-awesome guy, and I think Bernie's come out much more likeable. Less of the paranoid conspiracy nut and more of a guy who just really wants to see the Hollow Earth.

I really like how Jia's story ended up coming full circle, with her almost confirming that psychic powers are a thing in Godzilla again. Then she gets to find other members of the Iwi people in Hollow Earth, and kinda becomes like a Mothra priestess? I wonder if they'll be anywhere further she goes in the future, but if not it's a really cool ending for the character.

Suko ended up being a suprisingly engaging character, starting out pretty antagonistic at first, but gradually warming up to Kong as the story continues. His character, particularly his perpetual nervousness, starts making so much more sense when you're shown what his home is like. He ends up being an MVP in the final fight too, which is kinda awesome.

Speaking of which, the introduction of Scar King is absolutely fantastic. Like, everything about the scene with the miners/slaves up to actually seeing the guy himself tells you we're dealing with a proper bastard. And Kong ain't gonna stand for any of that crap.

I didn't care much for Scar King before the movie...Now I kinda wish they didn't kill him off so soon. Dude's very much a love-to-hate kind of character with a neat fighting style, and he probably could have worked as a recurring villain (maybe slinking off back to Hollow Earth to find new ancient evils to awaken and weaponize, which would be an easy way for a few old monsters to be brought back. Gigan and Megalon, perhaps?).

Then for new characters we have Shimo. And while we don't get much of her (especially not when she's allowed to act of her own volition), what we do have is neat. She's definitely gonna be a fan favourite for the Monsterverse Original creatures. It's kinda funny how I think many people were expecting this (literally) cold-hearted villain/lackey, but instead we got a mild-natured woobie.

I really hope Shimo gets to be in a comic or a future movie, she's got a lot of potential now that she's free.

Godzilla is here too, being the angry jerk we all know and love. Honestly though, I feel like the "Godzilla needs to power up" thing is probably gonna end up being more foreshadowing for a future movie, since I dunno if he really needed to power-up to fight a balding orangutan who wields the power of slavery (you could argue Shimo was the real threat, she almost got him in the anti-gravity fight if it wasn't for Mothra).

I wish the whole team up thing lasted a little bit longer, but it was hella fun what we got. Hope this opens up the possibility of Godzilla fighting alongside his allies more often.

Rip Tiamat she did nothing wrong.

Oh yeah, and Mothra. Her involvement in the plot is very short, but sweet, telling Godzilla to cut it out for five minutes then helping out in the first half of the final fight. It's nice to see her again. Now we just need Rodan to make a comeback.

Lastly, the fights in this movie are an absolute delight to watch, especially the hilarious pyramid fight (that's like, peak Showa antics) and both parts of the final fight.

The first half with the zero-gravity is one of the most fun and unique ideas for a kaiju fight, getting even better when the humans get to help out (by first activating the gravity, then Trapper fires a Chekov's Gun with these bird things that produce and electrical field to drive off Scar King's minions).

The second half on the surface is pure catharsis, seeing Scar King finally get his comeuppance thanks to some quick thinking (and a bit of luck) from Kong and Suko, freeing Shimo so she can put her abuser (again quite literally) on ice, ending his reign of terror for good. I really love that trope where an abuser is ultimately finished off by their victims.

Overall, Godzilla X Kong is peak cinema. I love the Monsterverse, and although the wilder tone isn't for everyone, I had a great time, and would recommend. There's a ton of interesting possibities for the future too, with Kong's ....New Empire and all.

[sonicasura]

A Pokemon Trainer gets dropped into the Godzilla/Kong Monsterverse, how much chaos will that one person cause?

People from the Pokemonverse is guaranteed to make any normal person's headspin upon comparing the differences between both worlds. Sure the kaijus close a lot of damage but they are like tidal waves about it. It happens yet not all the time. Meanwhile Pokemon are so common that getting zapped by a electric rat or your neighbors fire breathing dog keeps burning your flowers is normal.

Know that church up the hill? Well a living soul eating candle named Mr Funky lives there and has a habit of stealing people's lunches. A Pokemon Trainer would thinks normal while any Monsterverse character will have a thousand mile stare hearing about it. This is just simple slice of life shit I'm talking about here!

A Pokemon Trainer wouldn't be that surprised or scared encountering an actual kaiju. They'll probably even admire them and throw compliments when you think of it. Godzilla surfaces cause the trainer is radiating some strange aura so he's ready to fight the current nuisance.

He ain't prepared to the discover this new disturbance is just an odd human whose giving the big grumpy kaiju compliments and isn't bat shit terrified about being crushed. I definitely think Godzilla is the type to follow someone if they pique his interest so congrats to the trainer for doing it without bringing out their Pokemon. Although Big G is absolutely a possessive fucker when it comes to claims.

The King of Monsters wouldn't feel so offput by PT's team and instead just sorta feel at home. He doesn't exactly fit anywhere but neither do they. Plus they actually behave and not cause trouble unlike most kaiju he knows.

I'm also the type to indulge in the potential chaos of a kaiju being smitten with a Pokemon. (Goodra, Tyranitar, Baxcalibur are a few choices that haunt me if it involves Godzilla. Big G got two paws with Mothra having one.) MONARCH being driven up the wall as they already have to deal with potential offspring from two different kaiju species. They rather not have a third option be added to the mix.

Also the trainer in question is already impossible to track down. They could have a Pokemon like Solgaleo, Hoopa or Lunala to travel between dimensions with ease. Whose to say the trainer also has a 'mon that can use Teleport to escape every ambush MONARCH sets?

Plus dimensional travel has a habit of acting off at times. Like the Trainer could show up on Skull Island during Kong: Skull Island and then later shows up around the time Ghidorah gets freed. Only common factor is that Godzilla or King Kong is involved.

I'm not forgetting about the Pokemon throwing down against a kaiju either. When you consider Dynamax/Gigantamax/Mega Evolutions/etc exist, size absolutely doesn't matter cause a well trained Maushold can beat up Arceus(Pokemon's equivalent to God) with little issue. A Focus Blast to the face will hurt more than a missile.

Imagine how insane it would get if the Pokemon Trainer can utilize Dynamax on their team whenever and wherever. You do collect Dynamax Energy in the form of Watts, Wishing Stones and Wish Pieces in Sword/Shield. Finding a workaround is possible.

Half of MONARCH is about to quit when that small yellow electric mouse turns into a kaiju sized chonker.

[minimanic]

Thought I'd throw my hat in the ring for a best films watched in 2023 list. I feel like this is the first year in a while where I've actually watched enough movies to warrant making one of these and it was honestly really rewarding! Full write up on my thoughts after the cut. Plus links for the ones that are free and legal to watch online c:

Bunny Lake Is Missing (1965) Absolutely Superb psychological thriller about a missing child. Infused with equal parts slow creeping dread and unhinged mania.

Watch

Godzilla Minus One (2023) No you're crying at the giant monster movie

Dreams that Money Can Buy (1947) A truly Delightful experimental film about a man who can see into people's dreams. The ensuing dream sequences are a tour de force of avant-garde and surrealist artists of the era including Max Ernst, Man Ray, Alexander Calder and more.

Watch

The World Is Full of Secrets (2018) So. Bit of a weird one here. This is a movie about girlhood and trauma that spends most of its runtime in close up on the faces of its main characters as they tell each other the sort of over the top scary stories you would expect from a group of 14-16 year olds. It drags in places, but it's also a pitch perfect dreamscape of every sleepover you were never invited to in high school and that's without getting into the framing device. Would love to talk about this one more because the context of how I even heard about it is a conversation in and of itself. But that's a story for a different post.

Midnight Cowboy (1969) Listen. Much has already been written about what the hell is going on with Rizzo's sexuality in this movie. I'm saying that's a gay man who correctly clocked that his painfully straight, visibly traumatized, roommate, whom he is in love with, is not ready to have That conversation. Anyway this was WAY weirder both visually and tonally than I was expecting. A pleasant surprise all around. Was also delighted to see that New York film majors haven't changed in 55 years

Watch

They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969) The myriad letterboxd reviews comparing this film to The Hunger Games do not lie. Which, combined with the inherent realism of this type of endurance dance competition being a thing people Actually Competed In at one point in history truly makes this a bleakly compelling watch.

Watch

The Living End (1992) Gregg Araki I am in your walls. Road movie of all time. Love to see a director that spends the last 10-15 minutes of every movie he makes like 'I am going to hurt you, so. So. much right now.'

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022) Welcome back Mx. DreamWorks. You have been missed.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Another entry in the 'local man's taste in media is oops all red flags' category from me. Listen. Everybody knows this movie. Everybody has an Opinion about this movie. My opinion is that it fucking rips. Sorry it got so deeply embedded in The Culture that its a perpetual nuisance to the people who are not vibing but those people ain't me.

[ifuckinglovedinosaurssomuchjesus]

GODZILLA MOVIE MARATHON: Son of Godzilla (1967)

I have a confession to make. The first Godzilla movie I ever saw was Godzilla (2014), when I was already a teenager. I had been a massive fan of the character and franchise since I was a little kid, but I had no means of actually watching any of the old Toho movies. Growing up, they never appeared in any of my local video stores and we didn't have TV so I couldn't catch any reruns. My entire interaction with the franchise was through YouTube, through reviews and clips and video game playthroughs and people telling their own stories with the toys.

This all comes to importance with this little movie, Son of Godzilla. People on the internet during the early 2000s hated this thing, it was routinely placed right at the bottom of every ranking video and review I watched, people shat nonstop on the idea of giving Godzilla a son and whined about how the other Kaiju were lame and were overall extremely nasty, and I believed every word. Jumping on that baby Godzilla bandwagon.

So, I'm coming out. I'm breaking my silence. When I finally sat down and actually watched all the movies as an adult... I thought it was great! Son of Godzilla is not only enjoyable, it's probably one of the tightest written and paced films in the franchise. It's genuinely a good watch outside of just being a Kaiju fan.

The first smart choice was setting up the Kaiju as characters. Giving Godzilla a meek, ugly little son understandably raises alarm bells for people who like the idea of Godzilla being this unshakable badass thing, but this decision allows us to relate to him as a character and let's the filmmakers come up with and justify more scenes involving him. This movie might just have the most Godzilla runtime of the Showa Era, and not only is that just nice after the last movie held him off for 50 minutes, but it helps keep the film as an easier watch by intersecting the stories. Unlike Invasion of Astro Monster for example, in which the film gets so bogged down into the human plot that you forget it's a Godzilla film.

The movie also just knows how to handle monsters, showing us creepy glimpses at the start, showing smaller monsters at first than building up to the big one with dialog, having the Kaiju directly interact with the humans and having the people be physically trapped with them. This is creature feature 101, it's not something you see often in Kaiju films where the monsters are sort of removed from the individual human scale just due to their size, but that's what makes this refreshing and what makes Kamacuras and Kumonga well loved Toho Kaiju among fans despite not having the most creative designs. That's not to completely dismiss them, Kumonga especially is an amazing puppet that moves so hypnotically across the ground with those long spider legs.

Now, the effects ain't all that good though, especially Godzilla himself. Cookie monster lookin' ass, the suit was made bigger to help with scaling him next to his son, but it's just so floppy and stretched out and he has a pretty embarrassing seam line that just looks like moobs. The baby Godzilla, who remains unnamed in this film, also looks nasty. Especially the newborn, it reminds me of that talking fetus baby from PT.

Still, they can be pretty cute, and even if it kind of sours his image as a badass (which let's be honest, was already ruined by getting hit in the nuts four movies ago), the little antics of Godzilla being a kind of shitty dad to his temper tantrum having goofball of a child is entertaining and a little adorable. Especially that ending where they huddle together for warmth, gets me every time.

The humans characters are also pretty good. Like I said earlier, the story keeping the humans and Kaiju intersected helps a lot with keeping me invested in the humans since I'm not just waiting around for a big monster to appear. It helps make the whole film feel more consistent, plus it's nice having a movie be about scientists again, we haven't had one with the main cast mostly be made of scientists since the very first Godzilla.

I can't believe I've talked this much praise about this movie, a movie that child me would be absolutely sure they would have hated. I genuinely think this is on par with the earlier Showa films that people often praise, like Mothra vs Godzilla, and so I give it a similar 7/10. Let's see how many more surprise scoring I can throw out by the end of this marathon.