#he aint white he French

[mwagneto]

"he aint white he french" funniest line in the entire show

[blueiight]

You're so right. the sex industry is lucrative and fast money. Since the Du Lacs were months from bankruptcy an honest business was not going to cut it. He even says that his little corner grocery stores weren't making enough. And I'll bet getting that kind of big money that fast while also being the token/pet black was addictive.

he needed to get rich fast cuz his family was also unaware of how close to bankruptcy they were. i wouldnt say he liked being the token black person more than he liked the power n psychosexual performance of controlling what these rich white men have sexual access to. “the product was desire” his modern self says. and he was the plug. re: his fixation on acquiring the fairplay salloon in ep1-2 is motivated by that & etc etc etc. ep1 when lestat is like “u made me buy a townhouse in the quarter” louis is like “i know men of my race look the same to u ppl but i aint sell u no house” & as soon as he becomes a vampire in ep2 he kills the assessor (?) for calling him a “good negro”. lestat is a french white man he knows little about here other than this guy has more things than me & hes feeling up on lily while staring at me. i wanna be him , kill him, and REDACTED by him. it unnerved him bc lestat was likening him to lily in that moment of sexual tension. translating lestat’s sentence, snarking at him off the jump, then being mesmerized by him not to put my ship goggles on [for a canon ship ik lol] is a rly gr8 way to set up the lxl dynamic n how louis operates. show louis is someone with sum i deem interpersonal racial pride. he interacts with his particular black classed community of his era n shows a perfectly respectable face in the eyes of the black church, his baby sister w the tickets up the garvey line, but everybody know where that money come from& r perfectly fine eating off its benefits. louis strategizing to get ahead at the expense of the black ‘collective’ outside of his immediate network. claudia would be someone outside of that as a poor black girl. shes the type of girl louis couldve .. well. lets just say, the fact that louis saved claudia in the midst of the race riot n losing his family , their shared tie of being made immortal by lestat & decades of living with lestat brought this temporary show of solidarity in the murder plot btwn lou+clauds that otherwise may have not have been there had claudia & louis met in a diff situation n show potential to go a lot of places in parts of s2 when lestat is out the picture. anyways. louis is not a self loathing black man n he hates being the token, but he was hardly a paragon of racial solidarity in s1. n he was always aware that his privileges were extremely conditional & dependent on how much of himself he was able to comparmentalize in situations where he did not have the upper hand and had to put aside his pride. what better to set up a certain kind of person whod favor eternal life, than a suicidal bougie boule opportunist of a black gay man whos aspects of himself all existed on different bookshelves.. who had to lie about his family’s financial condition to them, who tries to maintain this double life even with newly bestowed immortality. hes not grovelling at tom or fenwick’s feet, he plays the game to stay afloat but despises having to smile in their face. thats why when hes a vampire & the laws r discriminating against him hes so much more transparent in showing how he feels about them. all that pentup aggression he felt as the only black man in those rooms is the fuel for why he gored fenwick& ripped up toms jaw. i think 1x01 louis was actually at a breaking point but 1x02-beginning of 1x03 b4 the vampire starvation shit louis was rly feeling himself when the dough was rolling in. he has the fairplay salloon, he has lestat, he can ‘control’ what white people have sexual access to. but all that crumbles…

[destinyc1020]

Honestly its impossible with the entertainment industry and how supportive and connected they are to zionism and funding things like the IDF you would have to boycott almost every movie b/c most of these movie studios are active supporters of zionism. This is too much of an ask for people so look to the bds movement which was created by palestinian organizations they have outlined a more focused boycott of specific organizations that include mcdonalds and starbucks so a boycott can be more realistic.

Also please yall dont be using identity politics in a way to undermine people. I am middle eastern as well but I aint gonna tell people " that they think too much" that is diminishing of people and their thought process and you have no place to judge people who boycott or who dont. In the same way Im not gonna force people to boycott.

I plan on watching the film, but some people seem to use the argument that dune is fantasy therefore its detached from real world events like no. Frank herbert was actually inspired by actual historical events and it was the frame in which he wrote the book ( the algerian war for independence 1954-1962 and the mahdist revolution from 1881-1898) terminology used, the language used throughout the book, the freeman ( based on french ethnographies of indigenous people in north africa) the themes of colonislism,rebellion, jihad, resistance, the danger of the white saviour are all a byproduct of what frank herbert witnessed and read in his time. Like its fantasy but there is grounding for why its imagined the way it is. This is why its been critiqued to hell and back for orientalism and this is why I understand why people are displeased with some aspects of the film especially the erasure of its arabic , islamic themes and jihad ( the struggle) but at the dame time its WB so we all knew it was gonna happen.

Im not saying dont like dune. I personally love dune but I feel sometimes people talk and speak about it as if its without context or wasnt written inspired by actual real world events.

Thanks Anon for your heartfelt input.

No, I know very well that parts of the book are based on real life society. I read about the complaints when the first film came out years ago. And even when you watch the first movie, you can tell that the film is saying a LOT about society as a whole.

What I meant, was that these are not real historical people, it's not a historical book or film, and these characters are not real. There are plenty of films that are fiction, but are based on REAL LIFE events or societal issues.

Just wanted to clear up what my former post meant.

Anyway, like I keep saying, ppl are FREE to do whatever they want to do with regards to "Dune". 🤷🏾‍♀️

Like you said, you'd have to practically boycott ALL of Hollywood at this point if you don't want to be offended by SOMETHING.

I'm going to end discourse on this.

[skiplo-wave]

jeanne du barry review

Was able watch movie of Johnny in French and speaking french film thanks to @sullxo Ngl could not get the subtitles to work but hey aint first forgein movie I watch without subtitles.

Movie is legit beauiful. The set design the costumes I'm postive movie had two set budgets this and paying Johnny and rest of cast lol. Matter of fact three budgets for hair and makeup alone

Now I could be wrong but this movie felt like pretty woman but French circa 15-1700s(?) I think. There's love but this big ass house and folks have zero respect for Johnny's new boo. Her brother(?) dies and they just mocking her griefing!? Aint johnny the king or duke??? KILL THESE TRAMPS with their ugly ass wigs. Evil step sisters headass.

*ahem* Butler guy and tall guy are some homies. They chill being Johnny's boo's besties that's nice.

Uhh literal black boy jumpscare. This movie was is so white (literally) everyone started screaming seeing him. Again no subitltes but they treating him right...i guess...

there's a new girl, sis thinks she's part of the club. Tall guy does NOT vibe with her.

Imma be honest I'm here for Johnny. And MAN he really came to this movie to look slutty and be a sugar daddy. Him speaking french 🥴 I've counted 15 different outfits this man had on. Some he had wigs on and other real hair down. HOT. Him dying not so hot >:'/ And uhh ending boo thang is sent to the nuns. I guess tall dude is in charge now ( was he's johnny son???)

Anyway movie over aesthics alone is 10/10 plot wise er 7/10 I'll try rewatch with workign subitles

[romanken]

HE AINT WHITE HES FRENCH

[manie-sans-delire-x]

amc’s producers explaining Lestat to staff: he aint white he french

[jasmancer]

HE AINT WHITE HE FRENCH

[lionpointe]

I'm dumping my Ep 1 thoughts here so SPOILERS

-Modern!Louis my love you're so pretty

-The sets are so elaborate

-I have not heard the n word spoken verbally in so long I almost choked on my spit...

-CAN LESTAT SHUT UP BEFORE I START ACTING UP his god damn voice is so velvety

-"How'd you manage to get yourself through the front door?" Ohh bad move......

-"He aint white he's French" HELP

-Lestat's really out here hands clasped behind his back, kicking dirt around like a school girl with a crush sir get a hold of yourself

-They both have so much baggage. Louis' more laid out to us (he's so painfully repressed) but that scene where Lestat loses it at Paul.. There's an obvious hurt there. Sam Reid put his whole reussy into that

-LOUIS AND PAUL DANCING OH NO SOMETHING BAD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

-oh no not the i love you's

-holy shit

-He called Louis beautiful I am satisfied 💕

-The church scene is so well crafted. I could go on for days but I'll keep it short and praise the sound design instead because that detail near the end with the beating drums was ART

[pub-lius]

thoughts while rewatching the john adams series bc im so opinionated pt 1: join or die

its really scary how much the actor who plays adams looks like my old pe teacher 😐

i do like the unbiased portrayal of patriots, bc a lot of american shows make the patriots look like innocent victims, but these were grown men being assholes a lot of the time. also don’t glorify protesters in history if you’re going to have your police teargas modern protesters doing exactly what the historical ones were doing 🤨

“i could tell by the set of your shoulders” girl queen his posture doesn’t get better. however i do love how they show them able to know each other’s feelings and thoughts based on each others body language. its very sweet

JOHN STOP WHISPERING I CANT TURN ON CAPTIONS ON THIS totally not pirating APPLICATION

child abuse 1: strangulation

ah yes, john, run towards the gunshots and screaming

child abuse 2: hate crime

“look at me 👁👁 look at me 👁👁” -the last thing you hear before you die

sam adams is literally incomprehensible wtf is this man saying

child abuse 3: verbal abuse

“i care not for malicious tongues on either side” “…*leaves*” me too abigail

i can never express how much i love 1770s fashion. just everything about the 70s. it literally slays so hard omfg. both english and french fashion too. they both put their whole white peoplussies into those fashion standards

“i do not have the luxury of your birth or your purse, sAaM” ok i can understand the purse part but his birth??? bro you’re deadass cousins. your pEdiGReE aint different (/nsrs idrc how that shit works)

charles abuse 1

aH sNoWBaLlS. a TERRIFYING prospect 😙

i love all the trial scenes. ik they’re supposed to make john look like a genius, but they just make him look batshit. also get further from the camera pls, im uncomfortable

omg the part where they have the black man testify. this is so important im so glad they included it. idk if this man actually testified, but i think it really shows the racial mindset of the time and the way white people oppressed poc. it comes across as a lot less redundant than all the historical dramas/biographies/novels that repeat the same speech about the horrors of slavery. like yes we know!!! but all the black characters you show barely have lines in the media you’re producing!!!! this character plays an integral role in the plot and also makes a point at the same time!!!!!

ooo adams going all ace attorney up in this bitch

also is this what the north looks like??? the color palette is so depressing goddamn

“are you prepared to swear that captain preston stood in front of his men?” “yes” … “are you prepared to swear that there is no way for captain preston to have given the order” “i cannot” bitch. make it make sense

okay no the way captain preston goes to say “young montgomery” and instead says his rank is so sad. he’s clearly like a father figure to them and i ☹️☹️☹️ props to the writers for that detail

ok but the scene where she proofreads his speech, thats me. im john. i write too much and i will admit its to make people think im smart. fake it till you make it. im with johnny on that one

LEEET TYRANTS SHAKE THEIR IIIIIROOOON ROOOODDDSSS AND SLAVERY CLAAAANK HEEERR GAAAAAALLING CHAAAAINS-

charles abuse 2

child abuse 4: calling them pumpkins tf

a bit obvious parading your illegal congressmen down the street in front of british soldiers but alright

[beforecolin]

A NEW TITANOMACHY

Yellow cotton tee with an obscure ass graphic

And this shit is old so you know this shit is soft an cozy

Yellow cotton tee with a cool ass graphic of which i do not know the origins

All i fuckin know is that im based and im gorgeous 

Old buddy burning out at the stop light got the kids crying

Buddy flaring the engine at the stop light got the white moms confused 

I heard my square ass neighbor call that dude a menace

I aint even trippin cause he put me on to hella music

I song i.d.ed hella tracks he blasted in his car from my window

He been bumpin sexy drill way before the city was even on that

He put me on to R2r moe and wolfacejoeyy and i never said thank you

Now that everybody’s on that shit, that shit got hella corny 

Cause every time i walk by he always on some cool shit

I get though bro honestly thats prolly how it should be

I thought cash cobain was hard for like two months now his flows bore me

Now that everybody on it man that shit got hella corny 

I have rejected or at least rebelled against the platonic condemnation of writing as a dishonest distortion of living speech, but i have now begun to experince the truth in the fact of the dishonesty of writing. It is already too much. I have failed. Aand now i succeed myself in becoming honest. It is automatic, yet considered. Fluid, yet fragmented (rococo). The stopping and starting is the path to expressing a real organic shape (notan, mu): a thought line mimics ideals. The concomitant aesthetic values that are associated with classical standards of beauty, a formal essences that exists within a scale from which deviations are novel singularities with their own degrees or kinds of aesthetic pleasure. Executing a technique of inscription with varying degrees  of adherence to the rules of both a conventional practice and  an objective understanding of good design from a cognitive science perspective, or the point of view of perspectival realism founded on an enlightenment model of perspective. The more absolute the deviation from a formal scientific model  of beauty ie applying the golden ratio and principles of design that include scientific approaches to proportion, mathematical curves, etc, the closer this inscription comes to a return to pure matter, l’informe/art brut. The Clash of The Primitives, Or A New Titanomachy: the next birth of the twice born, the return of zagreus, the explosion of the dionysiac into total integration of excess-divinity. The discovery of fragmental organs as fractal perfections, unearthing the perfect as already broken. The reinterpretation of history as essentially orphic, replacing the death on the cross with the myth of dismemberment. Alternative primativisms, each in the future of the other. 

Meanwhile the dope boys still bumpin migos

They hella lame for that for real but i could never tell them

The migos flow kinda ruined rap on god that shit is so lame

But imma keep it moving, stay based, in my lane, doin me

Ceiling designed by Sir Shristopher Wren and exquisitely carved by Grinling Gibbons

That shit got me geeked up 

Real talk im tryna engrave some shit as exquisite as a Grinling Gibbons

It might not be doves but its rats and pigeons wrapped up in some exquisite ribbons

Hell na i dont need no instrumental 

Its impossible to scare me straight thats why they wouldnt let me in the prison 

They tried to lock me up like marquis de sade but they wouldnt let me in the prison

I done been bent the light im michel strangelo now im bout to bend the prism

I can’t believe 03 gredo produced Never Bend

That’s one of the hardest beats of all time time, let alone the song itself

I can’t believe 03 gredo taught Hegel the different samenessess of the in itself and the for itself

I can’t believe 03 gredo came up out that texas pen flexing on some fashion shit, i’m happy for him

Drakeo woulda loved to learn about the changes in styles of french design as they progressed out of the French Renaissance, as they developed and shifted from the late 17th century onward under the rule of Henry IV, Louis XIII, Louis XIV, Regency, Louis XV, Louis XVI and into Empire.

I feel like Drakeo would appreciate the passage from Baroque to Rococo and the distinct characteristics that exemplify the departure from the Baroque into Rococo, i.e. the embrace of classical themes biblical and mythological in nature such as Valor and Exaltation, the subsequent rejection of these themes of high seriousness,  moving away from the supremacy of acanthus leaf ornamentation in favor of a more wild and fluid sense of the comic, embracing a new spirit of movement in stacks of rock, stalagtite forms, broken C and S curves. Yea, i feel like a lot of people in the rap game might fuck with that type of shit, including summrs and acid souljah. Maybe not though idk, i’m just saying that cause it’s based. I don’t fuckin care about what rappers care about, i’m a fuckin rapper and i care about some cool shit so imma talk about it. 

Shout out to my readers aka prolly one or two people. 

Hope you fuckin like it bitch if not than you can suck my dick

Sike you know im playin im just tryna bring that energy

I walk by her every mornin i bet we would have good chemistry

 

I seen this lil cute ass shorty posted in the coffee shop

I could tell she wit it so i told her ass to pop and lock

Drop it for me baby imma see you in the parking lot

I aint got no car but immaa pipe her in the parking lot

Parking lot pimpin wit my shorty now we car jackin

Told her to pick a whip she like so we can fuck inside it

She picked a cool ass one but im not gon say which one cause thas incriminatin

Shorty hit a lick and her head game splendiferous 

Thas a lil story for you bitches just to fantasize 

I aint got no time for ratchet bitches ‘less they family size

Peanut m&ms in her pussy like a movie snack

Munchin on her booty while we watchin classic movie scenes

Critics are saying he’s filtering the bauharoque through based life, supraverting the new clash of the primitives by desublimating the unconscious desires of Art Brut and the new york school of abstract expressionism into an ornamental phase space thereby irrrepressing the fake based in an afterlife with an orphic-like liberatory gestrual cooking dance  technique with a suspicious yet loving embrace of classical themes and annoying, pesky old dusty ass concepts like mastery and power. 

They’re saying he seeks out a new clash of the primitives, calling it the return of the irrepressed as it unfolds in the new Asymbolic titanomachy that is viewed as subtle tug of war of vocabulary through the immediate screens ( also known as a new presentism of screenhood), and upon pressing the tender rewind button from the new orphic afterlife, appears as a tectonic shifting of digbats beneath a nonmusical substrate of unicode, set to a score of the based negative. 

My homie  axed me if  i ever read house of leaves, i said 

bruh im michel strangelo 

of course i have

sike nah ive seen it around and know what it is, 

i feel like i decided not to read it so that i could just write it instead

To which mans replied

Damn okay

OKAY!!!!

That’s turnt!

Everything is mine

I own swag. 

A fallen cherub

Issued by chance, irroyal decree

A kid i fell into milk. (a kid/a goat/ a bull, possibly other ruminants and other big fellas that chew the cud)

It was a disaster. The stars fell as well as the sky, pieces of the undigest sinking through the asymbolic quicks, sinking beneath the waters above the blackest waters of the heavens through the four sections of the stomach the new zeus: nuked rumen, zen reticulum, ornamental omasum, abstract abomasum, each corresponding to a phase of spatiality; point-line-plane-solid, with each dash with its own corresponding triad of shadows: DO, RE, MI / separation, contact, extension / sign, index, icon (pre linguistic, presymbolic, premataphorical) with the prefix ‘pre’  becoming a metaleptic appearance as a precursor to its own retrospective recognition as a grammaleptic antimirroring of these triads with their own uninterpolations of hyle as temporality: instant, interval, succession, duration, a group interpunctuated by: list, anecdote, tale (prelegendary, premythological, before epiphanic and heirophanic) / occurrence,  circumstance, concurrence (precoincidental, before causality and synchronicity) / (excluding planetary interpretations, paradoxically)

 a piece of the sky shaped like a stop sign had fallen on his head when he was sitting under the big oak tree, the Bodhi tree, in the town square. 

Secretly and by great accicendence falling from absolute life into the galactic puddle –the saucer of cream that we left out for the cat, our little galaxy ± A KID – for this IS a song of innocence & experience – º‚·‡fl‚ºªt•‡¶§∞øˆ¨…  did you feel it? That  was a tremble, a solicitation for symbol shifting to inaugurate itself, to be seen as birds through the window

Two birds flying in a calm wind two birds falling through a calm wind

I heard a mother scold her child with too harsh a tone at the park today

I aint gon lie bruh that shit was kinda disheartening 

I feel like a kid i got my bright yellow shirt on 

I feel like a kid im eatin a pb&j wit some chocolate milk

They can’t stand that i’m this handsome and still smarter than them

They can’t fucking stand how god damn eloquent I am

Nobody said they failed yet they call themselves failures and wallow

They know damn well what they signed up for, yet they act like they’re owed something

Fuck all of y’all

all y’all can suck my dick 

they’ll try to undermine you cause they hate themselves to death

I don’t even like to hate but sometimes I become overwhelemed with anger and disappointment

Rare negativity, i identify as a lover not a hater

Hate should bring you shame idk why some of y’all so proud of being hating ass people

Hate to break it to you bruh but hating aint a personality 

Some people wanna be witty so god damn bad and  just start compulsively saying shit really, letting the first dumb ass thought fly out of their mouths after the other person stops speaking in the hopes that their interlocutor stupid enough to assume that because they said it fast enough that it was witty. Even if it made no got damn sense at all

I got news for you bud— POP QUIZ HOT SHOT (dennis hopper as Howard Payne in Speed)

NEWS FLASH WISE GUY. 

Speed does not equal  wit. Fast does not equal smart 

That shit you said real fast just now not only wasn’t clever but it was apropos of nothing

nonsensical AND bullshit. oof, the worse kind. Meanwhile i merely mention fava beans which for whatever the fuck kind of of stupid ass fucking assisine fucked up dumb reason prompted you to shit this little rhtorical gem out of the side of your neck: “clarity just isn’t your M.O. is it?” uhhh for merely naming a kind of bean you’ve weirdly never heard of? Ok… listen. I’m misunderstood. Alanis morristtean irony: like the gust of wind that slams your door shut, leading others to assume it was an act of intent on your part, and that you might be expressing your emotional turbulence, and perhaps you are, but you really didn’t slam the door. This was one of the highest crimes in our household, slamming doors. 

people have their cowardly heads in the sand or up their fucking asses, and then blame me. I’m willing to accept only my accursed share of the guilt fairly and justly allotted to me, only that fine slice of falling sky, guilt pie apportioned out for me by the great arbitrators, which happens to be the same size as the slice for all humanity. 

A kid i fell into milk, a bull i fell into milk. 

A bull because although it may look upon first and second glance like nonsense ( glance-like nonsense, parking lot pimping nonsense), and it very well may BE, my nonsense is never bullshit, cause with the bullshit, i play matador. They can’t stop my boustrophedonic debauchery, they can never fully board the pyrrhic dirigible, tame the maudlin horse, crack the shit shell of the avant-kitsch, and spread it on the walls of the spirit ditch. Though i may look like young stalin mixed with ezra pound, i can assure you that i feel like teletubby swagger. YUNG TINKY WINKY AND IM STILL FUCKIN SWAGGIN i look like lil Laa Laa cause i have televisions in all four of my stomachs on which i watch real children live their lives. Rear window swagger

voyeurism off the richter, welcome to diarrhea city

Never underestimate my savagery, kids go the hardest

Kids are goated, kids aint on no bullshit, 

we knocking down buildings, we knocking down borders

People will target you with their own unresolved bullshit

And with the bullshit i play matador 

Bout to put down the bullhorn and pick up the buhl work

French cabinetmaker André-Charles Boulle work

Yung colin bolton and i care about arabesques 

Scarab flesh, peer into my prayer layer in marrakesh

Undo the accident of separation (the separation of accidents from accidence) only to initiate a new kind of Akzidenz, engraving grotesque faces into the serifs of type, what type of time people ask?  a previtalist duration ( vitalist as in: Read between the lines / What's fucked up and everything's all right / Check my vital signs / To know I'm still alive, and I walk alone)

A nonreductive preternaturalism (with Peter Naturalism already having been courageously initiated by doo doo dog, the lastpre-raphelite ironist of the bauharoque),  a transcendental materialism of green day, and all other bands of color except for the blue man group singing the eurodance hit by Eiffel 65.

did you forget yourself? Or any other phrase used to humble a person

Some communications that i maintain with other quiet initiates feel like the correspondence between levi strauss and jean dubuffet, supportive and curious, on the frontiers of the search for a genuine liberatory exchange

we can come up with a way of living that is beyond praise and blame,  but if we must speak dispraisingly (depressingly), then so be it, but if we must sing praises let real folly be its object, not that counterfit of folly that circulates in such abundance today that it has inflated the value of real folly beyond measure. oh curse it all to hell so much foolishness in the world today! 

ishya man pressure mans 

aka pipe shordies

aka yung pipe layer 

posted in my vamp layer 

indie sleaze bitches off the richter

tripple d shordy fat ass wit the nipples

finna bite her pussy like a shark wit a twizzler

straight A student on my dick like a hooker

riz god vamped up welcome to fucking scotland

wendys breakfast biscuit with the antique boudoir

yellow nipple sharty with the razor blade nail gun

cocaine faggot on my dick like a hustla

suckin bitches off in the shower like a bus driver

i been toting glocks like im santas little helper

nobody understand me cause im gifted and im emo

yea exactly homie i was finna fuckin say that

ancient greek mayo on the sammy like a stray cat

pummel horse pussy with the mack and the strap on

asking for forgiveness on the floor wit my dick out

slizzy off the onions like im stanley fuckin yelnats

kentucky coal miner moonshine when i help bats

locked in the aquarium and im feeling like a thinker

got her wrapped around my finger did i have to let it linger? 

hell na i didnt but shit i went and let that shit linger

i tried to fix that shit but all i really did was tinker

im the savior of worms and i love community service 

yung clock maker im mechanical as shit

brick mason christmas with a question in the ziplock

keep a can of sardines in the crystal cabinet flintlock

aging like a rancher george washington mclintock

asian like an example when i switch the fuckin slip knot

sorry publishers but this is really what it look like

apocalypse enlightenment im a shakespeare lookalike contest finalist lets go

did you get the research chemicals in the gift basket with the fig jam? i left a secret present in the freezer when you get home

all these "artists," give me a fucking break. its complex, i won't go into it again, get me riled up and maybe i will, but overall the term has lost all meaning, to hell with what we call art.

in the spirit of louis aragon, too: fuck all these pseudo intellectuals! charlatans! for i am certainly among them, but to hell with all those who pause before doorways, unaware, this could never be me. But all men are capable of all things.

wow, embiid with the flop and the three to tie it at 69

"that is hilarious, be like yo we takin a charriot"

The nerve, the disrespect to appease the weirdo old white dudes drinking wine watching hockey at Paul's. the bartender switched the kicks game for some Bruins Toronto hockey show.

Like dude, you obviously don't care about basketball, that's crazy. and later he admitted it, saying something weird about the giants. 

when people cheered he said "theres's obviously no nets fans in here, the barclay's center is right up the street" and i'm like dude, come on. and then another guy said "well there aint no nets on the tv's'!" and i'm like thank you

and it was the tv i was sitting right in front of

and I had just given up my spot to a couple that was clearly on some dating vibes.

as a single person you always forfeit the right to claim space for two in the presence of a couple. 

I was sitting at a table, I said, Excuse me, y’all might like to sit here, you should, I'm happy to sit at the bar. They said how very kind. So I got up, but I continued to feel displaced thereafter. 

They're after.

every moment thereafter, but it was funny. he switched the basketball game to the small TV at the end of the bar, and somebody said, after Brunson scored, they said, “who was that?” And this man who was clearly a knicks fan there to see the game immediately said, "why, can't see him?!" at which point he and everyone around burst out laughing. it was the timing, the quickness, it was too good. real wit.

but the knicks got the dub, it don't even matter

Based freestyle in the spirit of the anti-cultural positions 

Some communications that i maintain with other quiet initiates feel like the correspondence between levi strauss and jean dubuffet, supportive and curious, on the frontiers of the search for a genuine liberatory exchange other times: I have no license to confuse, but I do it anyway despite these superimposed confines of regulated knowledge

spit in my direction because my mere presence is a challenge to those weak of character, so frail a self-image, those infested with the most base and pathetic insecurities

you better act like you know! and show some fucking respect

then I guess I'll get all the way out of your way. if my mere presence forces you to feel like you need to take up all the space, I guess I'll just get all the way out of your way then. If it's so hard for you to give a little ground, I guess I'll just get all the way out of your way then. are you so unyielding? Have you forgotten yourself? Have you lost all perspective? i know people who are weak and like to instigate things, they like to back people i to corners with leading questions, they like to lure you into the pathetic rehearsal of their own trite little psychodramas with their limited rotation of talk worn tropes—i even notice men doing it! Hell, even my father. Men who gossip more than their girlfriends or insane wives... god help them! Is this misogynistic? you might say so, but i will deny that whole heartedly, if you think so then be damned, your’re not hearing me. Listen, if you've ever asked me if I was quite proud of myself regarding some trifle of the moment, and in asking this you betrayed the fact that believed for a second that I was in fact, as you put it, proud of myself, then you had me confused from the beginning. And if by asking this it was your intention to pull the rug out from under me, to check my ego, then you misunderstood the assignment. He who is the self appointed poker of holes be god damned, for this cheese is swiss and holy, always already full of holes, full of emptiness. And if i ever had a new lover that asked me what color her eyes are with full intention of revealing my ignorance of the knowledge that they’re green, then you have only succeeded in exposing your own ugly foolishness and lack of faith. If a lover ever tried to set a trap of this kind, one with these childish irritating trick questions (the ugly head of innocence reared), and you she didn't think I knew, then she had me fucked up from the jump. And if you asked this and truly didn't know, then that's on me, but of course i knew— they’re green, for crying out loud! Oh for fucks sake, how could you ask such a thing? But in the other version of the story, the boy was aloof and truly didnt know, and thus got what he deserved— but let us be clear, that boy was not me! Could never have been me. but i know all men are capable of all things. Arbitrators be damned! Children can get their teachers in big trouble by imitating their grandmother's condemning hum, the comedic refrain that condemns to the halls of judgement: "mhm." or drawn out "mmmmmhm." with the tone, “yep, he know damn well what he did.”  this self righteousness that sounds so sweet as the gentlest wind passing through the highest branches of this blooming magnolia or  sycamore. So fresh in the bragadocious gangsterlicious supercali (fragile realistic) fragilistic fragmented magnificence of rapperliciousness, dripping line stalactites, mining these milkshake byways and biodegradable highways for  fossils of rococo rat feet, to speak fax through the beaks of ajax. a fresh star, burst. a fresh start with beggars and jerks, for the cleverest clerks (little kids that play tricks at the counter, like crows), the readers of palms, the eaters of psalms, a bequeather of wrongs in the ether of qualms, but it's not just one, two, three. You get a car! You get a car! You get a car! absolute forgiveness, and  recognition for everyone, oprah style. the forgetting of the coin through unsolicited alms, amen. 

p.s.  "you got any money?" "damn man, i was bout to ask you the same thing!" or "nah man i'm broke too, i aint got no bread brodie" "you a yankee fan?" "yea bro i fuck with the yankees ever since i was a boy" "we enemies then" "oh word? how you live in new york and you boston? thats cursed." "yea, its cursed" "nah but i wish you relentless blessings, blessings be upon you brother, may your cup runneth over, lord knows if my cup were forged i the image of the accursed share, the infiite fount, the gift that keeps on giving, you should rest assured there would be a bottomless well with your name on it, a basin so unfathomable places directly beneath that fount to catch every drop, every drop our faces. 

a group passed by saying they felt like little babies, like curious george on an adventure. i said something similar earlier, or was i the man in the yellow shirt? i know for a fact i have tied this shirt around my head in the summertime. 

[devotedlystrangewizard]

"he aint white he french" is still up there as one of my favorite sentences in a show ever. louis what is going on inside your head

[summersareknives]

ess! <3

last night i went stargazing to see that comet that hasnt been visible since 50,000 years ago and it was pretty cool. the moon was out & i saw sirius too so i took a pic of them together #wolfstar5EVERRR

ur so right james would absolutely use duolingo to learn french for reg. that man is WHIPPED hed do anything for him.

tay time! you belong with me, style, & london boy <3

chat chat!

timmy and flo my absolutely beloveds. i think id probably watch anything theyre in (except maybe dont worry darling, even if it feels like a "movie". idk maybe its hilarious.)

tourists piss me off SO much sometimes. especially when theyre taking pictures of random shit like. clouds or trees. girl you dont have clouds or trees where you live???

i think a lot of cats are predisposed to be heinous bitches tbh. i can always count on my cats to be blunt when i need them to be <3

and wait blaise/luna.... i kinda love this too. adding those fics to my tbr, ty <3 i have another fic rec, lessen my load by moonymoment (wolfstar muggle au, remus finds sirius having a breakdown in a laundromat cause he put a red glove in his white wash)

if u do end up trying out the incest chronicles, giving u a fair warning that the first books are like so cringey. they were written in 2007-onwards and u can definitely tell. theyre def not for everybody but the prequel/sequel series are SO good. but godspeed anyways.

ben barnes in podg is SO sirius idk what it is abt him hes great. when people use his scenes in edits with sirius i eat it up every damn time.

handing in ur paper 8 mins before its due? u know what, u deserve a drink for that. drunk procrastinators never miss fr.

and yes im very excited to read that whenever u get around to writing it! no pressure ofc take your time <3

and damn ROYAL butter? okay i understand now. 4 tubs is very fair. and TOBLERONE on god is one of my fav chocolates. second maybe to terrys chocolate oranges imo.

dancing in the kitchen to jazz does sound super peaceful. sometimes moments like that feel like theyre straight out of a cute little movie and it makes life feel a little happier <3

please try poutine. its so good. and ur right jello salad is a crime. feels like a hate crime tbh.

colourful cars will always have my heart fr. leaving a tip after being driven around is a good idea maybe i should start doing that.

ill let u know when ive started the apprentice, im excited to see the hyde guy now. and kim kardashian lady too.

platonic soulmates>>> i think we lucked out with our best friends. lu walking through the rain for ur turnover? i love that sm. ur right L names do have some spice in them.

and yay geoguessr! i was shit at first too. but i got sucked in and like studied license plates and fucking road lines and signs so id be good. it aint much but its honest work. (i graciously thank u for the apple turnover. ur too kind)

i hope i dont have a gay realisation superpower. thats like having anti rizz. everyone whos liked me turning out to be gay? like yes im glad i could help but. as long as my soulmate likes me ig.

i love ur james fc sm. i love that theres so many different james fcs too like hes just everywhere <3 andrew & ben will always be remus & sirius but at the same time, they still dont look quite like how i imagine them to be. i think likeafunerall's art is as close as anything has ever gotten to them so ig theyre just too pretty in my mind for a real human to look even close to them. good for them.

and HUGH! hugh and lil timmy tim are like the only PERFECT fcs in my mind. everyone else has some wiggle room but not evan and reg. theyre just perfect.

ur so lucky to be a gryffindor. how does it feel to live my dream??

orpheus & eurydice </3 "if u must die, let love be the reason why" ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME?????? ill never get over them ever.

tbh i think soldiers are cool af. i saw a tiktok that said sirius would be the soldier (remus = poet, james = king) so thats also cool .

and no way u were listening to work song . i listened to that like 10 mins ago. hozier my beloved <3

athena kids are cool as hell. like go off smartypants! but yes raising the dead sounds cool too. idk what id use that power for cause i definitely dont need an undead army to fight for me so. maybe i can use it to talk to like. julius caesar or something.

tay NEVER MISSES!!!

and yes bowie for LIFE. also knee socks>>>> love that song sm. AM changed my life too. HS1 def altered my brain chemicals too (i got to see him in concert. it changed my life fr)

erudite !!!! <3

and yes its barbaric as fuck. if ive learned anything from studying ancient history its that humans have always been fucked up. so thats always nice.

silver jewellry is so cool . goes so well with my black leather jacket & docs cause im nothing if not channelling sirius black energy into my appearance at all times <3 u loving gold cause its expensive is so real. like yes its bougie as hell. and? also v gryffindor of u. cause its gold. u just need to wear red and ur set.

ur right tay does have that range. still love lana but she just has an overall darker tone which isnt always the vibe. miss taylor never misses.

LISTEN IM SORRY!!!! I LOVE CRUEL SUMMER SM. theyre both completely tied for me but i was just in a dont blame me kinda mood ig.

and yes the great war is very much a cr song. theres a chapter named the great war so its just a lot. so heartbreaking but SO beautiful. but my tears ricochet <3 like u know what taylor, ur right. i DIDNT have it in myself to go with grace.

lilac candles <3 theyre so nice. and yes. it did smell like piss. not sure what i expected tbh. but yeah

slow walkers are the worst and i agree people blocking hallways????? so annoying. especially when they walk slowly in these big groups that span the width of the hall and theyre too busy talking to notice EVERYONE trying to get by. UGHHH

having 2 middle names is so cool i wish i had 2 tbh.

on GOD that hc kills me. every time i watch poa i think of it and i get so sad.

i love winter sm too. personally im an autumn girly but winter is a close second. i love the festiveness sm <3

i loved chemistry too. yes i did drop it for bio cause im shit at math and bio has less numbers but idc it was still fun. and we do NOT talk about physics i hate that subject with my whole heart.

id pick hogwarts too honestly. i just wanna be magic u know.

and a coin collector thats so cool. i love unique coins sm. we had some here in canada a while ago that had the northern lights on them and GLOWED IN THE DARK (pic here)!! they were so cool i think i still have a few.

cardigan has my heart. but i think if i had to pick id choose mirrorball BUT only because i personally relate to it more. cardigan will forever be more heartbreaking and ofc, i cant listen to it without thinking abt wolfstar so.

a fellow erudite! we're superior for sure i just know it.

unicorn is such a good choice. theyre so cool and being able to grant wishes would be so fun. i think id choose a phoenix cause theyre fiery and cant die. also cause i change my appearance all the time so in a way its like a phoenix rising from the ashes all funky and brand new.

the vibes in the 50s was so cool i agree (minus the racism sexism and homophobia fuck that shit!!!!) . all i want in life is to go to a cute little 50s diner and drink milkshakes and listen to 50s music. i would love to go to ancient rome or greece but purely for the vibes and aesthetic tbh. id hate to go there cause im a woman and women werent generally considered people in the greek world </3 especially ancient athens, women were discouraged from leaving the house & if they did they had to cover their entire body head to toe. (to preserve their dignity and whatnot). i personally like a little more freedom than that so, no thanks <3

ur ideal first date>>>> literally perfect ideas. ESPECIALLY the bookstore i just love the idea of a cute lil bookstore date. & of course just walking and talking i feel like is so necessary to get to know someone yk?

being rejected from netball and taking it as a personal attack i feel u so hard. id be pissed if that happened to me.

and game night! monopoly game night sounds so fun. i actually cant play monopoly anymore cause i get so competitive and it makes me mad and it pisses everyone off LOL so ive been banned. i do love me some chess though.

art <3 omg have fun on saturday that sounds awesome. the closest art gallery to me is pretty lame most of the time which sucks cause i only get to see cool art when i travel which isnt a whole lot lmfao. cafe terrace at night is such a gorgeous work of art. i love van gogh sm. my mom is actually a painter and van gogh is her fav artist so she paints van gogh recreations its pretty cool.

answering qs!~

ideal first date: either art gallery or museum. there is nothing in this world i love more than art and history and humanity so being able to see it with someone i like & being able to infodump random fun facts about history would be the dream. ofc we have to stop at a bookstore (ideally we pick out books for each other cause i love that idea its so cute) and stargazing. i love the stories behind the constellations so its always fun to talk abt them.

rep vs lover: i think lover. its just so good and the vibes are astronomical. dont get me wrong i adore rep too but i think rep is better for when im feeling vengeful <3

hozier vs am: god this is so hard but i think im gonna have to say hozier. hes just such an incredible songwriter and his music i swear i can feel it in my BONES its so visceral. his lyrics rip me apart too theyre just so good.

i dont play sports. in general i hate sports and physical activity (except i do on occasion fuck up a game of badminton) i used to be a dancer and gymnast but that was a long time ago. i did a bit of volleyball when i was like. 11? 12? but i hated it.

fav board game: prob settlers of catan! idk what it is about it but i love that game. i love chess too but i get too competitive sometimes so.

take me to church vs work song: work song. "no grave can hold my body down, ill crawl home to her" ARE U KIDDING???? such a perfect song. i love tmtc so very much too. "i was born sick" hits different when ur a closeted little kid whos figuring life out

fav season: autumn forever. i just love the vibes and the temperature is usually perfect, not too hot not too cold. cozying up with a sweater and tea and a book is all i need. ofc winter is a close second cause christmastime.

fav food: probably pasta. my dad is from italy so i eat a lot of pasta. bolognese, chicken cacciatore, & penne alla vodka are personal favourites & my comfort foods.

fav marauder hc: i have a few random ones i love, like that james sings really loudly in the shower, that sirius was left handed (bc im left handed and i say so), also that regulus would be a black cat if he was an animagus. hes just got sm little black cat energy i love him. also lily being a night owl & james being an early bird, lily getting annoyed cause james is TOO happy in the early morning and shes just done w him.

one ship i hate: i HATED dorcas/peter in atyd. i know it was written way before dorlene got really popular but it was still such a jumpscare to read. also i know a lot of people seem to like them but regulus/remus?? personally no thanks. i can see why theyd be cute but sirius is the ONLY one for remus imo. i much prefer regulus and remus to be besties and talk shit ab sirius together cause they love him <3

patronus: ive done the test a few times and ive gotten rattlesnake, grey owl, & raven. personally i wouldve loved a cat but sadly no

favourite piece of art: ive got a few actually ( i love art sm.) loch lomond by gustave dore, wheat field with cypresses by van gogh, and hygieia by gustav klimt❤️

ginny or luna: luna. i love ginny SM but luna was my fav character as a kid so she has my heart. i also have her wand so its only fair i pick her <3

favourite restaurant: probably this one thats out in the city, theyve got the BEST gyoza ive ever had in my life. and they make good martinis so. but you cant go wrong with mcdonalds late at night when u need something greasy. also dairy queen (do u have those in the uk? i feel like theyre just in north america) has some good ass ice cream sundaes.

fav beverage: i love coffee, iced coffee to be specific. root beer and cream soda too. red sangrias and espresso martinis are top tier too.

qs for u!

whats one song ur convinced was written abt u?

patronus?

if u could only listen to 1 song for the rest of ur life, which song would u pick?

if u could have a superpower, which one would u want?

messy or organized?

favourite candy/chocolate/sweet?

if u could meet one dead historical figure, who would u choose?

take me to church vs work song.

whats your go-to hype songs when ur getting ready/going out?

fav type of weather?

fav thing youve ever dressed up as for halloween?

thats all for now! till next time <3

-bee

bee hi ! I thought you'd abandoned me , and I'm so glad you're back , I missed you !!!

OH MY GOD ??? you were star/comet gazing ??? that's so cool and so sirius of u !!! (also yes , take the photo , even the universe ships them, wolfstar 5ever.)

YES !!!! get u a man who learns French like James Potter would for regulus black !!! he is amazing , stellar , the one , the only , there is no one like him.

tay tay time !!! -

you belong with me - JEGULUS - I can see it as wolf star too , but I'll give it to regulus. like an au where reg and sirius and James were all best friends , and reg had a little crush on mr James the jock , but him having a gf , and regulus being all 'you belong with me' THEM

style- JILY- this could go for literally so many ships. like wolfstar , jily, anything. I chose jily , simply because i feel that just like the hook , james and lily never go out of style. and also lily would ask him about reg , and he would tell her the whole truth & nothing but the truth. in a muggle au i totally see them as on and off and on and off until they’re finally on again and this time it sticks forever.

london boy - WOLFSTAR - listen , I know remus is welsh (or half , at least) so I think of him meeting sirius in an au in some au , and being all 'DIMPLE' 'ACCENT' 'GOD I LOVE THE ENGLISH' (au/oneshot idea??) 'in the pub watching rugby with his school friends ??? yes yes yes , them them them !!! so them , I could cry !!!

chatting time <333

I too would watch anything and everything. save dwd , its reviews are terrible and I cba to check for myself.

'girl you don't have clouds or trees where you live ?' HOWLING THIS IS SO FUNNY. and true , honestly. what's so English and special about our clouds and trees?? if u show someone back home will they go 'ahh yess , this is an English cloud , native to the England !'

cats just tell it like it is. it's just the truth. cats for the win , I love cats u love cats we all do. we are humans and they're gods.

ik ik blaise/luna is a funny little side pairing and I love them they're actually so cute!!! (the fics are dhr and drarry so do take care of that !! but they're there. I love the little hints.)

LESSON MY LOAD OH MY GOD !!!! ON MY LIST , DOWNLOADED. (I love the sound of it. very interesting. I would also cry because of a red sock. I WOULD SUE. SUE.)

cringey series. hmm. I think I'll take a crack. I've braved through wattpad , I can brave through this too. I am a soldier after all.

IT'S THE SMILE I'M TELLING YOU IT'S THE SMILE. SOMETHING ABOUT HIM ,,, IT'S JUST SIRIUS.

drunk procrastinators forever !! (me because I have an exam in 45 minutes and I'm writing this rn instead of doing last minute revision ! but at least Lu's coming to pick me up !!!!! drivers r so good for ur health.)

I'm excited to write it. but I must get ahead with my writing of doa and sito. I'M SO EXCITED. it shall hurt ! it is fake/secret dating ! it is the bet trope !

IT'S ROYAL BUTTER INDEED. I have no idea why I felt the need to do that. but we shall march on and ignore the royal butter in the fridge.terry's chocolate oranges stay winning though >>> (did u see that video of the American/australian BITING into one ?? I almost cried like what the fuck u bitch u should be banned from Europe for this crime) TOBLERONE. MY DRUNK ARSE WANTED TOBLERONE. so does my sober arse though. so fair. fair. I see u drunk me. I see u.

it's so peaceful. straight out of the movie . (especially because it was raining too) and he was laughing whenever I stepped on him , and it was so sweet and ahhhhh !! try it , 'tis a remedy for all the types of pain ever !!! get u a best friend (liz would do it maybe ?) and dance. just dance , quite literally !!!!

jello salad is a hate crime. war crime. whoever created it should go to hell. with the salad. (I WILL BE TRYING POUTINE. IT SOUNDS SO GOOD OMG.)

colourful cars >>>> (remember to only do one cent. after all , they should be happy to have you in their car. really , you're doing them the favour.)

yes!!! lmk !!! I must know your opinions on them !!!

I keep getting like 3.2 km away from the actual answer and it's so annoying. like I'm sorry I guessed Ithaca and not buttfuck , usa.

WE DID LUCK OUT WE DID. they're actually the best people ever. no one will ever be better than them.(though , they lucked out too.) L NAMES 5EVER. LU AND LIZ 5EVER ACTUALLY !!!!!

LMFAO NOT THE ANTI-RIZZ.ur soulmate will like u !! I know they will !! and u have liz for now !! let's vibe and be drunk with our L best friends !! romantic love will come in its own time :))))) (also for me when I liked Victoria , it was me being like 'is she gay/queer/likes women ??? and then it was like - she did. but I found that out because she had a girlfriend. and she's kind of a bitch now that I don't like her. I hope she fails her exams , damn.)

omg likeafuneralls art is fucking magical !! I worship the art so much. I was actually thinking of printing them out and sticking them up on my wall !!!! and yes , so many James fcs !!! (my James is my personal favourite , but I'm biased) I adore all of them !!! (and omg I so get not having an fc too !! they're just ethereal .... no human will ever be good enough for them.)

HUGH AND TIMMY TIM TIM >>>>>>>>>> (I love them sm sm they r my heart. did u see the Apple TV ad where Timmy sees Gary Oldman ?? look it up you'll get what I mean.)

DUDE ME NEITHER. WE CAN BE SAD OVER THEM TOGETHER !!!!!! ( I was secretly trying to kill you, u figured out my plan !!!)

DID YOU SEE LIKEAFUNERALL’S ART OF THIS EXACT SITUATION?????? IT’S SO GOOD (she has soldier sirius , poet remus & king james)

WORK SONG MAKES ME CRY A LOT. "no grave can hold my body down , I'll crawl home to her" has been engraved into my brain. ENGRAVED I TELL U.

if u talk to caesar ask him how he felt before he died. was it like a Jesus style betrayal??? like did he at least get a little kiss before ??

tay I love tay tay changed my LIFE.

BOWIE BOWIE (STARMAN STARTS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND) knee sock was so funny because when it started playing yesterday , I was wearing my knee socks under my t-shirt dress , and lu was wearing his sky blue Lacoste ??? like Alex turner was watching us fr fr.

here's my concert story - my best friend went to the 1975 concert. and he went , and he came back , and he said 'Matty had a special guest on tonight' and I was like 'who' and then he whipped out a tissue and gave it to me and was like 'Taylor' I SOBBED. SOBBED. (also will harry ever stop touring??? is he not tired??? and also I'm pretty mad at him for the 'never leave America' thing. bitch forgot where he came from.)

eruditessssss!!!

at least we're a different kind of fucked up now though ! that's good !

u r so very sirius. I dress in red and gold a lot , actually?? but I have a lot of colours. rn I'm in white and green !!! I love gold jewellery with all my heart it just hits different for me <33333

u better love cruel summer. but I SO GET BEING IN A dbm mood , because that's so real. poison ivyyyyy now I'm your daisyyyyyy.

bro now I'm scared. now my timbers have been shivered. (I'm on chapter two still for reference.) I LOVE LOVE LOVE . (and I heard them stolen lullabies all right)

gonna go buy one from the big Tesco 2nite , now you've convinced me. (Rome , the great city. of piss. and gladiators. but mostly piss.)

HALL BLOCKERS WILL GO TO HELL knock them bitches over like do u even know how many times I've been late because of them ??? little bastards.

two middle names is kinda fun actually. I can go by them if I won't (I don't want) and I just have more names in my name , yk?? ( one middle name is ALSO cool btw. )

it makes me cry a lil. (professor lupin???? no , uncle moony !!!!)

winter for me , because in England , even when it's summer , it's winter !!! (also thank u for calling it autumn , not fall.) BUT I LOVE AUTUMN TOO , PUMPKIN LATTES ARE STELLAR !!!

I have my chemistry exam tomorrow !! and I do bio too unfortunately. (I have the bio exam today. I feel queasy. ) BUT YEAH FUCK PHYSICS FUCK NEWTON FUCK ELECTRICITY !!!!!

I so get u bee , I too just wanna be magic.

eruditessssss!!! erudite erudite erudite !!!!

I love coins omg. I want them all. I'm on the lookout for the paddington one , and I feel it in the air. I think I'm very close to it. (also glow in the dark ??? that's so cool???)

nah , I get relating to a song so hard. I too relate to songs. ( u relating to mirrorball is so fucking real of u. so real.)

YES PHOENIX !!!! AND U CAN HEAL BASILISK TEARS TOO , DON'T FORGET !!!!! (unicorns>>>>)

I know , if not for the racism and other shit , I'd so visit the '50s. honestly , the old-times vibes and the dinners and just- ahhhhh. (damn misogyny is everywhere.that fucking sucks I hate that sm)

I KNOW I KNOW. the bookstore thing is so so so cool for me. (closest I've ever come is the grocery store at night with lu , but also we were drunk and also we bought so so so many things) and yes!! just chatting and laughing and having fun and - being , yk???

I did take it hard. I took it so hard. (I scored , but I still didn't get in?? well bitch damn I hope u lose every single game !!)

getting competitive with monopoly is something different (I've stolen some money before , and now I'm not allowed to be the banker !! so that sucks.) I'm going to learn chess one day. I will. I want to play. I shall learn it.

OMG SISGDLIWQHVDJLWQVCBX your mom sounds so cool???? Van Gogh recreations ??? I salute her she sounds fucking amazing (cafe terrace at night is just it for me. I love it. I even have a notebook with it on the front !!!)

---- I'm taking a break from answering because I have to go do a fuckin exam now give me a second ----

back now lmfao totally fucking flunked fuck biology & fuck life , but at least my arse is being warmed and i’m listening to taylor. (i think i’m being driven to the bakery. i think. he won’t say anything. but we’re not going home for sure.)

YOUR MOM JUST GETS IT FR FR. van gogh is my favourite artist too , so she understands. he a tortured soul me a tortured soul. done & dusted.

reviewing your q’s

OMG THAT’S SO CUTE ????? I’M IN TEARS ????? that’s so romantic omg i hope u get that one day i really really do.(feel free to info dump on me anytime.) AND YESSSS ART AND HISTORY AND HUMANITY STAY WINNING ALWAYS (my favourite art museum is tate and fave history one is the natural history museum in central london i love it so so much.) AHHH OMG PICKING OUT BOOKS FOR EACH OTHER ??? (and annotating them and talking about them and showing each other and oh my god romance romance 💘) I LOVE CONSTELLATIONS TOO. as an ex-astronomy student , i understand the stories and fucking love info-dumping about them. (lu has been the unfortunate victim of most of this dumping.)

rep for when you are in ur rep era is so real. I need that album for killing and revenge and shit. lover is the vibe i want my life to feel like , so i’d pick lover too.

HOZIER IS IN MY BONES. I TOO WANT TO CRAWL OUT OF MY GRAVE. I TOO WANT TO WORSHIP AT SOMEONE’S SHRINE. I TOO WANT TO BE THE ANGEL OF SMALL DEATH AND THE CODEINE SCENE!!!!!! hozier > am (i love am too though don’t get me wrong they’re bae<333)

i hate physical activity too , mate. . I LIKE BADMINTON TOO SOMETIMES THAT SHUTTLECOCK IS FUN TO BAT AROUND. (only sometimes.) all i shall do is watch lu do his sports. i shall do nothing else. (hating sports is so valid of us !!!)

take me to church hits different but work song >>> no grave can hold my body down FUVKING CHANGED MY LIFE. i will rise from the dead for my other half when i die.

u described it so right , autumn is like that. just right. very remus of you , methinks. BUT CHRISTMAS FOR THE WIN , I’M SORRY !!!

ooh , an italian *does the hands* (sorry but you know i had to) you said a lot of pasta i will have to now eat. i will eat all of them. me , personally , my dad is portuguese a so i got a fucking range of food when i was a kid . like francesinha , bacalhau , caldo verde >>>> (sandwich , fish , soup in that order. all vv spicy.)

HE SO HAS THAT BLACK CAT ENERGY. regulus black is a black cat 2023 spread the word. as a shower singer , i vv much agree james would do that. oooh sirius is a left-hand. yk what i actually like that one . JILY AGENDA WHERE SHE’S THE SLEEPY ONE AND HE’S THE GET UP AND GO ONE <3333

I too do not much rate the dorcas/peter. it’s surprising now especially because of the dorlene and how i think they’re perfect for each other. so obviously , i don’t want them to get with anyone else . and reg/remus ??? that’s odd. i might be hoodwinked into reading a one-shot here & there but nothing more than that.

rattle snake , grey owl and raven ??? that’s a slytherin if i ever saw one. (also ravenclaw potential tbh.) and what a range of animals ??? fabulous.

I LOOKED AT THEM AND OH MY GOD THEY’RE SO GOOD ???? I LOVE THEM TOO NOW DAMN THEY’RE FABULOUS.

u have luna’s wand. i am very jealous rn. (love ginny but i agree with your decision to pick luna. i love her too much to pick anyone else.)

gyoza sounds so good. i could really go for some rn. (late night mcdonalds SMACKS.) and no we don’t have dairy queen in the uk. is that like an ice cream thing ?? sounds like that?? i want to try that now.

iced coffee >>>> AND OH MY GOD THERE’S THIS SODA AT THE CORNER SHOP ‘BARRS CREAM SODA’ I GET IT SO OFTEN IT’S MY FAVOURITE FIZZY DRINK EVER AHHHH. (i need 2 try sangria. i need to. ‘tis on my list.)

my q’s. -

this is me trying . there’s probably more that I can’t think of rn , but this is me trying. I am this is me trying. i used to be the one gifted kid who got rlly high scores without trying and now i have to do twice as much work for a fucking B. which is annoying. but yeah! ( I might tell u more if I remember them next time.)

black swan! i think that’s pretty cool actually !!!!

my tears ricochet. (or cruel summer) but if i had to choose , my tears ricochet. EVERY FUCKING TIME. ‘STOLEN LULLABIES OOOWIWOHOOO’

shapeshifting !! i think i’d love to shapeshift. it’d be so fun , i’m a snake , i’m a lion , i’m an old woman , i’m a muscle man. FUNNNN.

messy as fuck. 90% of the time my socks come back from the wash and at least one is missing at all times. fucking dk where they go man.

YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SOMETHING HERE.okay , terry’s chocolate orange & smarties. I fucking LOVE smarties (& toblerone of course , we mustn’t forget the Toblerone.) AND ALSO JAFFA CAKES. CANNOT CHOOSE ONE.

SHAKESPEARE. need 2 ask about the ‘fair youth’ and also about his wife & about his plays and ahhhh. i love his plays sm and i just really would love to meet him<333

work song. i love take me to church sm , but work song . why??? “NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN , I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER.”

promiscous , worth it , one look , knee socks , jealous (nj) , & …ready for it ? THESE ARE CLASSICSSSS . HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MIX.

snow. by far. love making snowmen , n dressing them up and snowball fights. love it so so so much.

i did lady macbeth (n lu was macbeth) at a halloween party once!! I loved it vv much the fake blood and the scorpion prop , and the crown i made for lu. very realistic. (second is it and georgie. u know who it was and who georgie was. take a guess .)

q’s for u -

fuck marry kill - lily , pandora , marlene.

fuck marry kill - regulus , barty, evan.

what do you love spending money on ?

tell me one inside joke you have with liz (or just anyone, i only assume you’d have more with liz)

one weird fear you have?

weirdest dare you’ve taken in a game of truth or dare?

worst random impulse buy?

your favourite quote ever ?

your favourite quote from a fic ?

ever met a celeb ? (which one if yes?)

favourite snack ?

do u have a crush on anyone ? (skip this one if you don’t want to answer it & I’m terribly sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable!!!)

Who knows you best ?

lover (the song) vs getaway car?

all time favourite moment in your life ?

what’s your favourite moment with liz ? (curious to cut into that bff dynamic)

r(egg) or r(edge)?

do you speak any other languages (except english)?

bee bee bee <333 until next time , my friend. come back soon , or else i’ll start worrying.

[blindbabybutterfly]

Blindbabybutterfly - Lana (Official Music Video)

Music Video by Orhion Production For The New Single "Lana" of French Lofi Hip Hop Artist Blindbabybutterfly, From His Forthcoming Project "Love Is Under Rated Vol.2"

Written and performed by Moustapha Thiam

Studio Engineer : Moustapha Thiam

Mixing & Mastering by Moustapha Thiam.

Produced by smlr

Additional guitars by Mike Genta

Shot and Edited by Martin Lebeller

Directed by Martin Lebeller and Moustapha Thiam

Only available for now on Tumblr

************************************

Soundcloud : https://soundcloud.com/iambb

Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/blindbabybutterfly/

Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/artist/78Pr3B6pD31sYi0ijkjmdm?si=VF7anVFGQymekG6VXwbNDw

************************************

Lyrics :

(Intro)

now you hear this !

got this one coming straight outta thedancehall,(Ah) !

yo my selectah !

Verse :

You aint gotta see my face,

You aint gotta know my name,

By the sound of my voice you know that,

I’m a real n*gga nothing like a f*ck boy,

Yeah I make own money nothing like a broke boy,

I don’t care about the he said she saids,

Been there done that, n*gga Reset,

Why you’re worried about how I get my bread ?

I’m in peace with myself baby you’re sad,

Paris, Tokyo, Morocco, Ibiza,

Freestyle on a seashore on a B side,

Afro like a soul brother from the east side,

Stamps on my passport, airport we fly,

Don’t worry about the Cheese and the Visa,

Mask on for the lick and Corona,

Got a white b*tch hotter than a sauna,

That serves me a meal while I smell her aroma,

P*ta Napolitana,Blondie blue eyes like Lana,

Ultra Violent she likes drama,

every day she calls my momma,

Chorus : She knows she’s sexy, she can’t help it, she can’t even hide it, (8 Time)

[prettyboykatsuki]

»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — ««

into it | k. bakugou 

➳ tags ;; smut, praise kink (so much praise kink),d/s undertones, dumbification fem!reader, unprotected, mild dacryphilia (what else do we expect lol), pro-hero!katsuki

➳ wc ;; 1.5k

➳ a/n ;; my period came n it’s My Day so im posting this. sorry if i’m a little rusty! i haven’t written any nsfw since like? march.

»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — ««

He know he’s spoiled you rotten. 

He knows this fact better than anyone else in the entire world. It didn’t matter how obvious it was to others, he knew it and he knew it well. The way Bakugou Katsuki finds himself stuck by your side leaves him with more questions and answers. He’s developed quite the habit of listening to your every word, clinging off your little attention and praise like it was more important than anything else. 

In a way, it was. That feeling he gets in his stomach, the pride in his chest when you bat long lashes at him and say “katsuki” the way only you ever could. You’ve got a grip on his being like nothing else. The world could be falling apart but he knows in his head he would be worrying about his baby. 

He knows he’s in love and he’s strong enough to admit it. But there’s a difference between being in loved and being whipped beyond belief or comparison. He’s indefinitely the latter.

He’s whipped out of his fucking mind. It’s ridiculous and gets more ridiculous as the days pass. The way he pours so much energy into leaving you spoiled and sated. He was always the asshole, the tough guy - but these days he questions himself for just how soft he’s gone. 

For you and only you. If anyone else had half the attitude you had with him, he’d probably rock their shit. With you, he merely sighs - grabs your face with strong hands and goes “why you bein so bratty huh?” until you’re confessing all your sins to him. It’s a religion of sorts, practice of worship. If you’re an altar, Katsuki feels like follower. Disobedience to your desires has always felt like sacrilege. 

Bakugou knows he spoils you too much. You’re not much for material but when it comes to time and attention, he’s always making room for you. Sits you in his lap while he works as long as you behave (lets you stay even if you don’t). Comes home to you. Doesn’t go out unless he’s sure you won’t be lonely. 

You didn’t particularly ask for any of it. You’re eager to let him be, but him? He seethes at the idea you’re getting your daily dose of love from anyone else. Turn his blood hot under his skin, makes his mind feel like it can’t sit still. 

So you’re spoiled rotten whether you like it or not. Bakugou would be damned if anyone came near you with the intentions of what he always intends too. 

You’re spoiled, to put it plainly. But Bakugou can’t say he hates it, no matter how much he tries 

{ ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } 

“Such a spoiled fuckin’ brat, huh?,” 

You shake your head, but your voice trembles in your throat when you try to reply. With the way Bakugos got your legs pinned, a hand resting on your navel with two fingers in your cunt, it’s hard to think at all. You squirm out of his reach, away from him. Everything in your body feels like it’s trembling and the pressure in your body has you dizzy and aching. 

Your clit is swollen from what feels like hours of stimulation. His mouth latches onto the swollen nerves, and goes and goes - matches the pace of his fingers fucking in and out of you. Every movement makes you twitch - an aching fever in your core. It’s almost painful - completely overwhelming. Bakugous determination leaves little room for error. 

“Ngh, I don’t ― aah, don’t mean to be” 

He chuckles a little at that. You can feel it reverberate against your body. When your eyes flutter open to see him between your legs, you’re sure you’re gonna cum again right away. Bakugou fucks you open with two fingers then three - stretches you out till your nice and soft. It makes you feel gooey, cum and saliva pooling onto once stain-less sheets. 

“Katsuki, ‘s enough, please - enough,” 

“Not enough baby,” he bites your thigh with sharp canines, red eyes boring into yours “Gotta be a good girl ‘n give one more. Spoiled fuckin’ brats gonna take all of it, aint she?” 

You let out something half-way between a whine and a whimper. The muscles in your thighs ache from holding still so long - from shaking. Your eyes roll up till there’s only white. Fuck you’re cumming again. How many times is it now? You can’t remember. 

It aches. Your cunt like a play-thing against the wet muscle, thick fingers that stretch you much wider than you thought possible before. He gives and gives and gives - and you take like the spoiled and greedy brat you are. When he ruins your pretty pussy into stuttered, breathless and raggedy orgasm - you take it all so greedily. 

“So fuckin’ pretty when you cream on my fingers, princess,” and he grunts, uses his free hand to jerk his cock. It’s stiff enough to hurt, the ache in his balls unbearable. But he’s gotta get you nice and sloppy - he likes to give it to you all in one go after all. 

Your brain feels like it’s melting, mouth dropped own and drooling. Katsuki is always so mean  but not with you. With you, he’s whispering sweet nothings into your sweaty skin and biting claim into the flesh. You let him melt you into whatever shape he likes with the promise he’ll hold you through it. 

“Gone and fucked you real stupid, huh?” 

There’s an unmistakable affection in his words that makes you screw your eyes tight enough it hurts. Tears prick your lashes as another orgasm rips through - shreds you to pieces. 

“Katsuki” 

You hold your arms out for him, needing to cling - and he lets you like he always does. You kiss him desperately, tongue searching for desperate reprieve as he drags sticky fingers up to your mouth. You can feel his cock slide between your folds, heady heavy and throbbing against your clit. 

It’s so, so hot. It’s molten, your brain and stomach turned to complete fucking mush. You whine again - loud into his mouth. 

“Clean ‘em good or you’re not getting my cock”

You nod dumbly. His fingers slide down your throat, touch your tongue and stretches your mouth out. 

“Haah,” he chuckles against your throat “So fuckin’ messy, huh? Your mouth and your pretty little pussy are so fuckin’ soaked for me, aint they?” 

“Yeah, yeah - ‘s f’r you” 

“All for me?” 

You nod with his fingers in your mouth, smiling like you’ve won the fucking lottery as you look him in the eyes. So obedient and pretty and good. His dick aches. 

“Mhm” 

He has you pinned so easily underneath, grunting as your knees are brought to your ears. You yelp as he bends over you, sliding his cock against your clit - fucking right between as he looks at your desperate face. Your eyes gone hazy as you watch his cock almost catch on your hole but never quite hitting. 

“’tsuki, hngh - please”

You’re distraught. So fucking spoiled - you’re in delirium begging for his dick. You need him so bad you don’t know anything other than digging your nails into his biceps and begging over and over and over. 

“Fuck  ― fuckin’ take this dick baby, shit” 

Your brain turns to static when you feel him fill you up in one fluid motion. Katsuki is thicker than he’s big, stretches you so good you scream silently. Strong hips that make you ricochet right into the bed with each thrust, you can feel yourself cream over him. It’s humiliating. 

He rolls your clit between his thumb and forefinger as he pistons you. Your body jerks so violently you almost lose hold - but Bakugou placates you with a tongue in your mouth. Kisses you messy with teeth and tongue - so salacious it has your cunt fluttering. His muscular body pins you to the bed, leaves you helpless and open wide for him to take.

 Bakugou’s spoiled you so he knows how you need, knows how to make you cum even when you’re so fucked out you can’t feel the air in your lungs. 

He french kisses you because he knows that’s how you like it - his spoiled, obsessive angel that can’t quite get enough of him. He knows just how your mouth likes to be occupied, knows just what nerves to hit. 

“C-Cumming!” 

Bakugou drops his forehead on your shoulder, mouth enveloping yours. He doesn’t say anything but his fingers grip into the fat of your thigh. You can feel him in your stomach, in your cevix 

Bakugou cums in you hot and heavy and thick. He groans into your mouth - jaw tense and brows taught when he fucks his load into until it’s all mixed together. 

His eyes open to check on you, his baby. Your eyes are red and puffy with tears - but you’re smiling lazily. Scheming. He squints

“What the fuck is it, brat?”

“.. You’re only gonna give me one?” 

Goddamn it. 

»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — ««

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains And: Period Sex

oh that is the perfect gif I totally forgot all about it but oh boy. thanks billy for your service to this blog.

Warnings: Obviously, menstruation, blood, and smut. I’m dealing with a particularly uncomfortable period (for me at least) and just want some e m p a t h y about it.

~~~

Who LOVES it:

Freddy Krueger: ABSO-MOTHER FUCKING-LUTELY. It’s a struggle to keep his hands off you (on a normal day) during your period. He can smell it.

Kieran Wilcox: yes please mommy, he’s waiting.

Luda Mae Hewitt: This is her secret kink.

Michael Myers: B l o o d  p l a y? Any kind of bloodplay, Michael is into it. If you weren’t already bleeding, he would probably make you bleed, with his (Actual) knife.

Mickey Altieri: Bring it. Jesus christ, Mickey thinks its so hot. Getting his cock or his fingers coated in your slick and your blood (Seeing the string consistency between his fingers), seeing you in a total mess from your period and being fucked to oblivion? Oh yes.

Midnight Man: He just likes it. I dunno. I don’t have a logical reason, extension or explanation of my vibes here but I am getting them from him.

Patrick Bateman: Oh my god it is his favourite kind of sex. Yes yes yes. Please please please. He marks your cycle in his calendar, with special notes about flow and mood. Soon enough he’s figured out your whole period every week and knows exactly when the iron is hot enough to strike. Any w h e r e, any t i m e .

Both Pennywise’: Ooooh, watch their eyes glow and their hair get more luscious when you tell them. Their teeth get sharper and the whites of their eyes get whiter- they’re horny as fuck now. Be a good sport and give them a lil taste, won’t you? A smell at least? That, or have them trailing you like lost puppies for the rest of the week, and curling up to/around you as tightly as possible when you’re sleeping.

The Clown / Jeffrey Hawk / Kenneth Chase: Where else could he possibly go on this post, honestly.

The Man (Hush): Yep.  He’s favourite time of month.

Who is like ‘a b s o l u t e l y  n o t’:

Jerry Dandridge: Do I really need to comment? I mean, he can control himself being around you on your period, but you cannot let that blood smell hit the open air. Your controlled, classy vampire bf will disappear in an instant and will be replaced with… well, Evil.

Yeah no thanks:

Debbie Loomis: She’s not vehemently against it, but still… nah? Thanks for the offer tho. And it won’t happen when she’s on her period either, c e r t a I n l y not. Don’t even touch her when she’s on her period, jesus christ.

Jennifer Check: Yeah she just got a new manicure. Over her dead body will you stain her new French tips with your coochie blood. And if she puts her mouth down there, it might excited t o o much if you get what I mean and you will become a real snack.  

Is indifferent towards it:

Bo Sinclair: You’re sure into him durin’ this time o’ month, aren’t you? Eh… whatever. Hop on. He’s happy to help his partner, especially if its in such a gratifying way! I mean he won’t buy you any fucking pads but he will do this and there’s Bo as a boyfriend for you.

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: I mean sure? Blood doesn’t scare him and it is, in fact, a turn on for him of course so sure. Plus, you’re less likely to get pregnant at this time, which is great! Doesn’t see what the big deal is, here. (Although, weirdly, I see past Chucky from Curse to be very much in the next category)

Inkubus: It’s not even a big d e a l, man, its cool. He likes all kinds of sex. Go wild.

Jason Voorhees: Jason is basically ace in the way he conducts himself on a general basis but if it tuned out that he was interested in sex and/or was willing to do it with you, then some blood leaking out of your private parts because of some natural causes is not going to change his mind. Is this not normal??

Jedidiah Sawyer: ???Alright??? He wears a mask made of skin, your natural bodily functions are not going to scare him away. Besides, the knowledge that it could lessen menstrual pain for you is a nice bonus. He’s gotta take care of his family.

Roman Bridger: It’s really not a big deal to him. We’ll just put down a darker sheet, or some plastic. You both need this sometimes (Him for emotional support when he’s stressed, and you of course cuz you’re on your damn period) and a bit of blood is certainly not a deal breaker. Besides, he finds the easy thrusting to be nice and comfortable. Preferred sometimes, actually. Just some nice, lazy, relieving sex with your director boyfriend.

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: A little bit a’ blood aint gonna turn me off, sugar. Don’t you worry bout that.

The Djinn: See Inkubus. Except, our dear Wishmaster is so much more of a tease about this.

Is enthusiastic when they learn that orgasms lessen period pain:

Bubba Sawyer: He doesn’t care about exposure to blood, obviously, and he doesn’t see it as gross at all but he was still concerned about whether that was safe during your… monthly thing… but once he found out that it could help you with cramps he got on board immediately! ^^

Lester Sinclair: Oh boy, well okay then, let’s give this a go then!!

Mayor Buckman: He knows the drill; Boone gets terrible cramps. Don’t worry, he’s got you.

Pamela Voorhees: Oh of course she’ll help you out when you’re hurting ^^

Stuart Lloyd: Well… don’t get him wrong, for sure there is the part where it helps you in a seriously uncomfortable time… but then there is also the fact that he is a lil bit of a secret freak and menstrual care is a good excuse for him. (So he also belongs in the first category ^^)

The Deathslinger / Caleb Quinn: Blood doesn’t bother him, and if it’ll give you a hand with yer monthly problem then you just need to ask him. You’ll be on the bench in the saloon with your thighs spread without a second thought, like asking for a glass of water. (Except of course Caleb’s a lot more hands on about the whole thing of course (; ) He’s happy to help.

The Huntress / Anna: Oh!! Really?? It’ll help? Okay, then, sunflower. Remove your pants. Let’s go !!

Vincent Sinclair: He’s just very supportive and helpful through all areas of your period. He doesn’t understand, but he can still be sympathetic and help the way you say would be good ^^

Is curious and will try:

Billy Loomis: Is really curious and excited to try it. I mean, he likes blood? He likes sex? And this is both those things?? Fun lubricant, yay.

Chop Top Sawyer: And when I say that he’ll try and I REALLY MEAN IT, MAN. Like, go big or go home. He’s going to eat you out at this time and he’ll end up really enjoying it. Buckle up babes, you’ve awoken something buried pretty damn s h a l l o w l y inside him.

Granny Boone: Similar to Chop Top except with him, you had to tell him you were on your period and all so it would be different and all, while with Boone she was the one sniffing it out and *cough* hunting you approaching you about trying it.

Jill Roberts: For the same reasons as Billy. Plus, she wants to be able to say ‘well I did it for you- you have to do it for me.’

Leslie Vernon: I mean, he’ll give anything a shot once. What’s the harm?

Piper Shaw: Same as Jill.

Stu Macher: Super enthusiastic to try!! XDD Just, like, dyed lube- right?

Is c a u t i o u s:

Carrie White: … periods have always been difficult for her… But she’s willing to give it a try as long as you’re willing to return the favour! ^^

Thomas Hewitt: Tell him, if whatever he does hurts you. He is very serious about this. He wants you to feel better, but he doesn’t really know this works and does not want you hurting in his vein attempt at making you feel better. So, please. Tell him how you’re feeling. He’ll get really good at making your cramps and discomfort go away.

They may take some convincing:

Drayton Sawyer: I mean, he’s of course not afraid of some blood but… uh… Well, I mean, he doesn’t really have a big, or even moderate sex drive in the first place so any sex of any kind takes some warming up to. Maybe if the stars aline and you catch him on a good day. Otherwise, he tells you to just suck it up.

[omoghouls]

omg ed is such a snacc 👀👀 prime omo target

IKR???

oI love him a totally normal amount-

But HE HONESTLY IS OMG- im only on ep 5 so my omo stuff isn't too vast yet but i do have a few, esp after ep 5

- Since he's been a pirate for a long time, man doesn't really get embarrassed about his bodily needs, if he has to pee, he'll just go overboard or wherever, he aint holding it if he doesn't need to

- But, when Stede is teaching him how to be a 'gentlemen' he has found out that the aristro's don't just announce that they "have to take a wicked piss" which, is a shock lmao

-Anyways, during the boat party, Ed want's to "win" he wanted the rich-y richies to like him, so he took all those drinks given to him. Which, far too weak to really do anything to him, expect fill his bladder to quite a uncomfortable level. Ofc he kinda watches for the others signals, see how they excuse themselves, but damn they're all kinda hooked onto what Ed is saying so, he can't find out how to "properly" excuse himself- so, he just chooses to hold it

-That is, until he's at the privet dinner. He doesn't have Stede there to lean on to get him out of this. He's trapped in a metaphorical sense, his mind is overwhelmed by all the cutlery, the clatter and chatter is keeping him unable to focus n anything.

Under the table, his thighs are pressed tightly together, not wanting to piss himself infront of them all, or in Stede's clothing (is it his, or the that French crew? idk, pretend it's Stede's for a more sentimental moment) he's being asked a question but he jsut gives one word answers, pretending to be taking fake sips from his glass- until one of the servents come over and fill his glass for real, the rich are looking at him so he feels obligated to drink-

It just, grows to be tooo much, especially when the rich all start laughing at him, when he stands from anger, he just, freezes- knuckles truing white as the room goes silent, save for the audible hissing and splattering or urine beneath the pirate. He's wetting himself right where he stands, right after saying he could kiill them all

The laughing just escalates, nearly deafening to Ed as he tries to scatter away, a trail of urine droplets following him the whole way

When he finally stumbles back to the main deck, Stede ask what happens, as he can clearly see Ed's slacks are darker than they were before and Ed just mumbles that he wants to leave now.

And when they are back on their own ship, Stede sorta mentions how he knows what happened and Ed just kinda pouts in a "fuck" kinda way but Stede assures him it's okay and that their next lesson will be, well, excusing ones self. But for now, he offers Ed his tub to bathe away that evenings events uuu

-Also I hc that sometimes he wets the bed, but, no oone knows that, he's the tough black-beard after all!