#he can’t deal anymore

[harringtonscoded]

i love my soft sweet blorbo eddie munson who is awkward and yells and gets scared. he’s so terribly human and i love him so much.

but i also think that if he had survived, the upside down would’ve taken a lot of his softness. that kind of thing hardens you, like it’s hardened the others.

i think about steve who used to yell and panic in seasons one through three, who smiled more and laughed more. and then you hit season four and he isn’t so soft either. he can take a fight now, but what did it cost him?

i think that happens to all of them. eventually. every fight takes something from them—spirit, peace of mind, courage, you name it. and i think that if eddie lived, that trauma would’ve absolutely changed him like it would change anyone else.

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

mmmmmMMMMMMM

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

After pizza—and after El wakes up and eats her own pizza—everyone gathers around again to listen to Steve and Robin. “So I think by now we’ve proven we’re from the future,” Steve says. “We’re here, four years in the past, because a lot of bad things happen, and if we can, we’d like to stop those things from happening. The big one, and really the recurring problem, is a guy named Henry Creel who essentially took control of an alternate plane of existence we call the Upside Down.” He motions El over beside him, and she goes gladly, tucking her feet up onto the couch as she leans into his side, trusting him to hold her up. He does, sliding a protective arm around her shoulders as he says, “He’s also One.”

He watches as one by one the lightbulbs come on. “Oh, shit,” Dustin whispers, and Steve doesn’t even call him on it, just nods.

“Beyond Henry, though, there are creatures in the Upside Down that can and will kill you.” He rolls his eyes fondly at the boys. “For some inexplicable reason, you came up the names, so they’re called demogorgons, demodogs, and demobats. Demogorgons are what took Barb and Will, but they both got away. That doesn’t mean they’re safe, though. Like El said earlier, Barb was safe in the moment, but it’s still a very dangerous place. There are vines everywhere that are connected to a hive mind. You step on one, and Henry knows you’re there.”

He continues telling the story, Robin interrupting when there’s a detail he misses. It’s silent when they finish. Finally, El speaks up. “So, it is… my fault?”

“No, El,” Steve says softly. “None of this is your fault. Things out of your control happened that made you who you are. Those same things created all of this.”

El frowns. “So I am bad? Like One? Like the Upside Down?”

“No,” Mike says sharply. “You’re good, El.”

“He’s right,” Steve murmurs. “You made yourself good.” He pokes her arm teasingly, and she smiles, leaning back into him.

Steve looks around, catches Nancy’s eye, and sighs. “Nance? A word?”

“Steve?” Robin asks.

He shakes his head. “I’ll yell if I need you,” he promises, rubbing her head as he passes. She squawks and bats his hand away.

“Asshole,” she mutters, and he laughs as he disappears down the hallway, Nancy in tow.

They end up in a room Steve thinks was meant to be a study. “You have questions.”

“Understatement of the century. There’s just one that’s really bugging me, though.”

“Us?”

“Yeah.”

Steve sighs and leans against the wall. “On Halloween, Tina throws a party. We didn’t know what we do now, about the Upside Down, and you were still looking for her. I was an asshole, self-centered and unhelpful.” He blows out a breath, crosses his arms, and looks away. “You got drunk, called me, and my love for you, bullshit. Left. I tried to talk to you the next day at school about it and you couldn’t say you loved me. I was still hopeful. I’m a romantic at heart, y’know? I thought maybe if I could be everything you needed, if I changed enough, if, if, if…” he shakes his head. “So we stayed together. I tried. You slept with Jonathan Byers, then broke up with me.”

Nancy looks horrified. “Steve-”

He shakes his head. “I made my peace with it. And maybe this makes me an asshole, I dunno, but Nance, I can’t go back. We’re okay, we’re friends, but I can’t pretend I still have feelings for you. I’m sorry, but we both know I was just convenient for you.”

Nancy takes a breath. “So that’s it?”

Steve shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know what you want me to do. I tried and got my heart broken for it. I moved on, found someone I think I can really be happy with, without changing who I am. And for the record? It gets rocky for a second, but I think you and Byers are it, too.” He smirks. “Plus Mike likes him better than me.”

Nancy rolls her eyes. “Oh, well, if Mike likes him better…” they both laugh, and she looks at him. “No more feelings?”

He shakes his head. “We make much better friends.”

Nancy grins lopsidedly. “And Robin?”

Steve snorts. “Purely platonic, I promise. Neither of us want anything else with each other.”

Nancy looks at him then. Studies him. “You’ve been through some shit,” she decides. “But you look happy.”

He smiles. “I am, for the most part. I know who I am.”

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[gojoest]

i think satoru can make it through another day so long he keeps believing, wholeheartedly, that he’s the only man you’ve ever been with. keeps his sanity in check so you just play along with it

[ebechnasheim]

I’m in tears | source

[kingkatsuki]

I wrote something about this before but just thinking about inviting Bakugou in for coffee after your third date and he says no because it’s like 11pm and who the fuck is drinking coffee at this hour and then he finds out from Sero what “coffee” actually is and he’s furious with himself.

[anthyies]

kind of a milf. reblog

[a-friendly-dumpster-fire]

have a sloppy sketch because i cannot find words to explain the emotional role reversal between breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom. something about losing yourself in the pursuit of finding yourself. forgetting the more you try to remember, losing more in order to gain more, sacrificing the very thing you fought to protect and that thing being memory etc etc . you know

[gunsatthaphan]

TopSan??????

[maeo-png]

‘peter tells jon elias’ plan and lives and goes with jmart thru the apocalypse’ is concept i don’t think people have realised has immense comedic potential

[aaandbackstabbed]

Dewey: I think I pulled a muscle

Louie: can’t pull what you don’t have

[devils-reign]

back in the fucking needing him real bad headspace again. what’s new.

[starbuck]

The way that Tuco’s primary character trait is his paranoia, and yet he never correctly identifies the source of the danger he’s in (striking out against imagined threats while overlooking real ones) is really profoundly tragic to me…

Obviously his drug use makes his paranoia worse, but I don’t think it’s the source of it… I think it’s more of a vicious cycle in which his paranoia makes him turn to drugs which, in turn, makes him more paranoid and impairs his judgement further.

But I think the real problem underlying it all is that his threat detection system itself is broken. He’s someone who feels fundamentally unsafe in the world, and yet is unable to properly defend himself because the danger signal seems, to him, to be coming from everywhere.

That’s why he believes that he can see the future and tell whether or not someone is telling the truth just by looking at them… He has to believe those things to feel like he’s in control of a situation that it would otherwise be evident he has no control over whatsoever. They allow him to make order of a disordered world, which, even if it’s a false order, is a comforting one and I don’t think he could function at all without it.

[taterswithranch]

Tabi headcanon: he’s somewhere on the ace spectrum due to trauma

No I’m not biased what makes you say that—💥💥

He just keeps his label bisexual since he doesn’t really think about the aspec aspect all too much and doesn’t tie it to his identity as strongly even though it very much affects how he defines his relationships. It’s also easier for him to organize it in his head hdhdjsk

[fyorina]

there is nothing more heartbreaking as an older sister for your younger brother to call you at 3:30 am drunk and crying because there’s too much pressure on him and too many high expectations that he feels like he’s not living up to and not being able to do anything about it 🥲

[mcybree]

considering my brand is bitching about FH all day, sometimes I feel bad at convincing myself wcsmp didn’t end well for scott and milo. Like damn girl leave him with SOMETHING…