#he definitely was a church drummer

[heavyhitterheaux]

Church Girl, Don’t Hurt Nobody

AN: Watch out for the good girls 🤭

Synopsis: Jack is head over heels when he meets a girl at a party back home in Louisville. Little does he know, she's holding on to a secret and Jack is the last to know.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Jack Harlow Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

The time on the clock read 4:45 AM and you knew that you would have to leave soon in order to get there on time and so your parents didn’t suspect anything. One thing they were strict about was being on time, but then again they were strict about everything.

How you did your hair, the kind of make-up you wore, the clothes you chose, the shoes, and even who you dated.

Left up to them you would date Vic, who was the drummer and they couldn’t and wouldn’t stop raving about him. 

However, you weren’t interested. 

He definitely wasn’t your speed and up to your standards, you preferred someone with blue eyes, curly hair, 6 '3, and from your hometown of Louisville. 

All because they had a reputation to protect and the last thing they wanted was for their youngest daughter to mess it up. You had to be careful with every single move that you made when you went out into the world.

But, when you were with him, all of that went out the window and none of it mattered. 

They weren’t nearly this hard on your other siblings, you figured it was because they did as they were told and you were the only one who gave them push back. And that had been happening for as long as you could remember. 

You didn’t ask to be born into a family of preachers, pastors, and mega churches and you believed in your heart of hearts that you should have been able to choose your own path instead of having it chosen for you. You believed the word, no doubt about it in your mind, but you just didn’t know if this was truly what you were meant to do just because you were born into it. 

Even if all that was going behind the scenes, you did love your job.

Being the lead singer and being the choir director despite how young you were. Usually in churches, the choir director wasn’t younger than 50 give or take. 

Ever since you were younger, you wanted to be an entertainer and one of your biggest inspirations was different girl groups from the 80s and 90s. Destiny’s Child, SWV, Total, Xscape, TLC, and the list goes on. 

That went out the window when you turned 13 and were told by your parents that you would now be a part of the choir and there were no exceptions so this was probably the closest that you would ever get to making that a reality. So, when it came down to it, you were an entertainer and people did know who you were to a certain extent. However, you liked to keep it lowkey as much as possible.

Rehearsals three times a week sometimes lasted for four hours and you better be on time for each service on Sunday morning. No exceptions. 

8, 10, and 12. 

Someone could be on their deathbed, but if your mother saw that you were late, she would send you to meet Jesus a little bit faster. 

You had recently moved back to Louisville permanently after helping out one of the churches that was an extension of the one your parents originally built in North Carolina and you had been there for almost six months.

When you had gotten back, your cousin Taylor had invited you to her birthday party knowing that out of all your siblings you would probably be the only one to go since it had taken place on a Saturday night and that was when you first laid eyes on him in person.

Jack.

You knew who he was and you were a big fan. When you weren’t on church duty, you would tend to sneak out of your parents house and dive into the Louisville nightlife. You always made it a priority to disguise yourself so no one would be able to know that it was you and it wouldn’t somehow get back to your parents. This had been going on ever since you were fourteen. 

Even though you had told Jack a lot about you, one thing he didn’t know was what your day job was and how you and your family are connected to Louisville. You always tried to put as much distance between you and them so that you would be able to have your own identity, but no matter how hard you tried, it didn’t work.

You wanted for him to get to know you without the label of you being a church girl or a preacher’s kid.

A lot of times when people found out, they ran for the hills having it already made up in their minds that they would never be good enough for you or be up to your parents standards. 

Jack was very special to you and the last thing you wanted to do was lose him.

All that you would tell Jack is that you liked to sing in your spare time at your parents’ business.

However, you still hadn’t sang for him yet and he definitely did not know what your parents did.

You thought for sure he caught on when you told him your last name, but it still didn’t. And the crazy part is when you told him, the two of you were on a late night ice cream date and there you two were in the heart of the city standing directly under a billboard of your parents. 

He would find out soon, you promised yourself that you would tell him when the time was right. You just hoped that he didn’t look at you differently once you did. 

You were currently doing your best to try to ease Jack’s arm off of you in order not to wake him up, but of course you immediately failed when he responded by hugging you tighter. This quickly lead to you getting a smile on your face.

“Where are you running off to now? I actually caught you this time. Usually you’re gone before I’m awake.” Jack raspily asked you before placing a kiss on your neck.

“I just have to do a few things before meeting my parents. You know how they are if I’m late.”

“And when am I going to meet these parents of yours?”

He would bring this up periodically, but truth be told you were scared. You loved the thrill of being able to sneak around and have a secret relationship without anyone being in your business and you embraced it. You did plan for Jack to be in your life for the long haul, so it was only a matter of time until he didn’t take not yet for an answer anymore. 

“Never if it was left up to me. But soon, I promise. I just have to tell them about you.”

Jack was now wide awake and sat up while looking down at you in disbelief and you quickly looked away.

“Babe, you still haven’t told them?” 

“My parents are different and they just… can be very judgmental of people and things and the complete opposite of me. My mother more so than my dad. I think that he would really like you. I don’t want to have to subject you to that if I don’t have to. I mean, I barely like to be around her so I highly doubt that you will either.”

When the both of you fell for each other, you both fell HARD. It was only a month into the relationship when Jack wanted you to meet his parents and had no hesitations on letting you know how he felt. 

“Don’t think I’m rushing you, I just thought that you would have at least mentioned me to them by now. You’ve already met mine and they love you.”

Even though it was only a month in when he wanted you to meet them, it didn’t actually take place until last week. At dinner you noticed how Maggie kept looking at you curiously and it wasn’t until she had pulled you to the side later on and said what a big fan she was of your voice and how Jack would speak so highly of you. She also said how she wasn’t surprised because she knew how well people spoke of your parents.

Even his parents knew your connection to the gospel world, but he didn’t. The relationship was still fairly new and you were going at your own pace with revealing everything to him.

He would travel a lot so that was your excuse for not saying anything, no matter how poor of an excuse it was. Every time he brought it up, you would say how busy your parents were running their business and you and your siblings always had to help them keep it afloat.

He just didn’t know that business was a mega church that had multiple locations in Kentucky and in other states. 

“The only person who knows about you is my best friend and she’s also sworn to secrecy. I’d rather you meet her first before you meet them. She knows all about you.”

Your best friend Taina was also in the choir with you and you told her everything knowing that she would never break your trust or tell your parents about your secret relationship with Jack or anyone else in your family for that matter. When going out with him, she did her best to disguise you as well as she could so that no one would recognize you. It’s worked for the past few months, but you knew that your luck would eventually run out. A lot of times you would wear Jack’s clothes to make it a bit easier, but being 4’11 you were limited to only his shirts and sweatshirts. 

You could only hide a Grammy winning gospel artist for so long no matter how low key you thought that you were being. 

“Soon, okay? I.. don’t want anything or anyone to ruin this for me or for us.”

“Why do you think someone would ruin it?” Jack asked while moving you to lay on his chest.

“Once you meet my family, you’ll understand.”

It was now six in the morning on a Sunday and you were speeding back to the house that you shared with your parents, siblings, and their spouses along with your nieces and nephews.

You happened to be the only one out of all your siblings who wasn’t married. 

Your parents had an estate built along with sections for each of their children along with their families so no one would ever have to leave.

But you knew better, it was so your mother could keep an eye on all of you. 

It was easy for you to sneak out and meet Jack because of the separate entrance to your section and no one really bothered you.

You believed deep down that your siblings didn’t like you because no matter how much push back you gave your parents, they always gave you anything that you wanted. Except for your big sister Eden. You were closest with her and would share a lot with her. Many times you debated on telling her about Jack, but every time you went to tell her, you backed out, scared of what her reaction was going to be. 

However, all of the pushback came from your mother and not your father.

You knew she loved you but didn’t like you.

She was close to your two other sisters, Eden and Grace, but when it came to you there was somewhat of a disconnect no matter how much you tried to get in her good graces. 

So, you gave up trying to please her a while ago.

Whenever you did something she didn’t like, she would simply throw out bible verses in your face and say how you were being disobedient. She was one of those Christians that twisted the word to fit their narrative. 

And you knew for a fact that no one was supposed to do that. 

You slipped in the house quietly by 6:30 and immediately went to pick out your outfit. You sent a text to Jack to let him know that you were safe before hopping in the shower making sure there wasn’t a trace of his scent left on you which would lead to more questions. 

Once you came out of the shower, your big sister Eden was sitting on your bed startling you.

“Sh– EDEN!”

“Go ahead and finish that first word.” She said while smirking, but all you did was roll your eyes.

“What did you need?” You asked while looking for your peach scented body butter that Jack had gifted you last week.

“Nothing, but where were you?”

“How did you know I went somewhere?”

“Don’t start, little one. You did go somewhere. You know you can tell me and that I won’t tell her. I never do.”

“I went out to see Taina and that was it. Got tired and stayed over last night, that’s all.”

Eden knew that you were lying to her, but wasn’t going to push it any further.

“I’ll let it slide for now, but I’ll get it out of you sooner or later.” She replied while hopping up off your bed and leaving your room.

You then let out a breath that you didn’t know that you were holding.

You then looked for an outfit that had to fit with the color scheme for this week and the choir had decided on blue and black. You made sure that the outfit didn’t have a lot of skin showing, proceeded to do your make-up and hair and made your way downstairs to sit with your family at the breakfast table.

“You’re late.” Your mother muttered while not even looking up from her notes. 

“It’s not even 7:30 and I see that the rest of you are still here too. So how am I late? And late for what? They haven’t even brought the food out.” You asked while slipping in your seat next to your older sister Eden who gave you a small warning look to tell you to let it go, but she knew you better than that. 

“Eric, get that daughter of yours.” Your mother simply replied and you rolled your eyes.

“It is literally barely 7 in the morning and the two of you need to get a grip.” Your father said while mouthing sorry to you, but you simply waved him off.

“It’s fine, daddy. I’ll just leave early since my presence is such an inconvenience for her and always has been since I’ve been born. Just say you don’t like me and go.” You said while scooting away from the table, but your father tried to stop you along with Eden. 

“You’re my daughter! And you think I don’t like you?”

“Oh, I know for a fact that you don’t. Because I’m not like your other children. Anyway, Hannah, can I just get a cup of hot tea?” You asked Hannah who was the cook that worked for your family and she quickly nodded and you simply got up to follow her into the kitchen while your mother sat at the table and shook her head.

“That girl, I swear. She’s going to put me into an early grave, just you watch.”

“You’re too hard on her and you know it. I’ve told you that I don’t know how many times. All she ever wanted was a relationship with her mother, but you keep pushing her away so what do you expect?” Your father asked her and took a sip of his orange juice.

“She’s just different from the rest of us. I know that she means well in her own little way.” Eden was your oldest sibling who always took up for you and defended you.

“Of course you would defend her.” Grace muttered while rolling her eyes and got a look from Eden in return. 

“Well, she needs to get on the same page. Eden, she is an adult and you need to stop defending her and babying her. She is 27 years old and needs to act like it. I don’t know where I went so wrong with her. This empire is not going to fall or be embarrassed by her. We have worked too hard for her to undo this.”

“Mom, don’t do that. She’s my sister and I’m always going to defend her. Especially when all due respect, you’re in the wrong. She always tries to do right by you, but no matter how hard she tries it never seems to be enough. Sooner or later, you are going to push her away and she won’t want anything to do with you or anyone in this family. I love my baby sister and I’m going to show her that at least one person in this family supports and cares for her.”

All your mother did was sit quietly in response until Hannah had come back in the room.

“Hannah, will you make baby girl’s favorite for dinner tonight? I need to apologize to her later.”

When the last service was finally over, you switched your shoes from your black stilettos to New Balance slides and let out a sigh of relief as you were now in your new G Wagon that was a gift from your father last month. You were patiently waiting for Taina who had been talking to a few people. You wanted to get out there as quickly as possible and didn’t stay long for someone to have an opportunity to start talking to you. 

You took the opportunity to facetime Jack and he immediately answered. He was still laying in the same position as he was when you had left him this morning and all you did was let out a small laugh. 

You couldn’t blame him one bit since this was a rare off day for him. His album was getting ready to be released and you knew that he better soak this all in now and you needed to soak in being able to spend quality time with him now too because in the upcoming months it might be far in between. 

“Hey babe, still sleep?” You asked and he let out somewhat of a groan.

“I take that as a yes.”

“No, I’m up. How did meeting up with your parents go?”

“It could have gone better, but we’re not focusing on that right now. My dad was fine as always, it’s just that mother of mine.” You answered thinking back to this morning.

“Oh, I wanted to ask you something, baby. You aren’t doing anything next Friday are you?” Jack asked and a smile erupted on his face. 

Choir rehearsal, but it could be moved to Thursday. If Friday was going to allow you to spend more time with your boyfriend, you were all for it. 

“No, what’s going on?”

“My album release party and I want you there. Just a few people, nothing too big.”

You stared off into space a little bit thinking about if someone took pictures and them getting back to your parents.

All hell would break loose.

Literally.

“Baby, did you hear me?” Jack asked while looking at you confused since you hadn’t given him an answer.

“Yeah, I heard you. I would love to. I’m very proud of you and I can’t wait to listen to the entire album since you only told me the titles of the songs.”

“It’s only right that I have the person who I wrote Poison about there with me.”

He told you that he wrote Poison about you without even letting you listen to it and you had to promise him that when you finally did that he had to be with you. 

“One question.”

“I already know. I promise it’s lowkey and no cameras are allowed in. I got you and I want you to be comfortable. You don’t want your parents to know about us yet, so I took all of the precautions that I needed to.”

“Looks like I have to go and get a new outfit.”

You decided to consult Taina when she had gotten in the car with you and she didn’t like the idea at all with the possibility of your so-called secret being revealed. 

“Umm Y/N, someone is bound to recognize you and it will get back to your parents. I’m actually surprised Jack hasn’t caught on yet to who you are and who your family is. And you’ve been dodging meeting his friends too, so now what is about to happen? You’re definitely going to meet them on Friday.”

“T, I want to support my boyfriend and I’m going to go. I can deal with them later.”

“And the fact that you still haven’t said anything to Jack? He is probably going to be very mad at you when you finally do or be pissed at you when he finds out from someone else. You need to come clean and tell him. And deal with them how? You are a preacher’s daughter dating one of the biggest rappers on the planet! You know all your mother cares about is her reputation and will throw you under the bus any second that she gets in order to keep it afloat.”

“I promise I will. And I’ll do it soon.” You answered her while pulling into her driveway and putting the car in park.

“Y/N, you and Jack have been together for almost four months. How much longer are you going to dodge this? Time is running out and this is about to be a hot mess when shit hits the fan. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You worry too much, T. I got this all under control.”

“Sneaking out of your parents house to see your boyfriend is what you call having it under control? You are 27 years old!”

“It’s not an ideal situation, but it’ll get there. Just….. I appreciate you for having my back and always supporting me.”

“I’ll do it until the end of time, you know that. I love how happy you’ve been since you met him despite everything that goes on with your family. Just…. Be careful.”

Jack’s album release party was now underway and you finally had the chance to meet everyone that was associated with him. It was finally nice to be able to put names to faces that you had heard so much about. 

You loved how supportive they were of him and how highly they talked about him and even dished out how often he talked about you. They were happy that he had found someone like you that was supportive just like they were and only wanted good things for him.

The relationship between the two of you wasn’t a secret to who Jack was close to, and you wanted to keep it that way. However, this was your first time meeting all of them in person and getting to know them. As far as you knew, Jack had only told them your first name and the picture that he had shown them was an off guard pic that didn’t show your face very well. 

Just like T said, a preacher’s daughter dating a rapper?

You could only imagine the story as it hit The Shade Room.

Jack was doing his rounds across the room, while periodically coming to check if you were okay and make sure that you were comfortable. It helped that you were in a dark corner and it would be hard for anyone to recognize you. 

And just like he promised, no cameras. 

You were currently seated next to Neelam making small talk and she had suggested that the two of you hung out together without all of the boys around and you quickly accepted.

“So, how did you and Jack meet? He never told me.” She asked while looking over at you and smiling.

“Taylor Rooks birthday party. I just happened to know a few people that were going and they dragged me along. And from then, the rest is history. And the person that I knew was going was Taylor since she’s my cousin on my dad’s side.”

“He talks about you non-stop and it’s finally good to put a face to your name. You’re good for him in more ways than one. He has never shown this much interest in anyone before.”

“And that’s all I would ever want for him. He’s very special and I want him in my life for a long time.”

Jack was now back surrounded by Private Garden and he noticed that they were all looking at him. They wanted to ask him this before you and Neelam came back over here from getting your drinks. 

“What? Is something wrong?” He asked and Urban was the first to speak up.

“We didn’t know that you were into church girls. And highly famous ones at that. Once she told us her last name it clicked.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” Jack asked while opening his sparkling water.

“Come on man, you had to know before you asked her out.” 2fo piped up while looking at him in disbelief. 

“What did I have to know? I’m confused.”

“You don’t know you’re dating Y/N Nevaeh Hamilton? The daughter of Eric and Adelaide Hamilton? The big ass mega church that is known in Louisville and people come from all over to go to it? She’s literally the choir director and her middle name is heaven spelled backwards! Jack, come on. And she’s won multiple Grammys for her gospel songs, she has an amazing voice. Even though I don’t think she’s ever gone in person except once. She gets nominated like every year.”

“Her parents literally own like half of the city.”

“Make that half of Kentucky. And they have multiple locations in different states.”

“And they have a private jet.”

“Damn, Jack is fucking the preacher’s daughter. Now that’s something I thought that I would never say. Definitely not on my 2022 bingo card.”

“Her mother is really the one who preaches and her dad does sometimes. And she has like four siblings. Eden, Grace, Matthew, and Malachi.”

Jack was sitting there in disbelief taking it all in that you would hide something as big as this from him. He simply looked over at you smiling while talking to Neelam and couldn’t help but to be disappointed. 

“I guess you haven’t met her parents yet? I wonder how they feel about their daughter dating a rapper? I can imagine that there would be some push back.” Quiiso asked. 

“No, not yet. She would always say soon, and that they were different.”

“Yall have literally been together for close to four months and her parents don’t even know a rapper is clapping their youngest daughter’s cheeks? And I thought they wouldn’t have sex until they were married anyway. Shit, did you marry her?!”

“You didn’t need to add that part, Nemo!” 

“No, we’re not married and after tonight we might not even be together when I confront her about this. How do all of you know all this?”

“Uhh social media? You mean to tell me you don’t follow your own girl? That’s why we’re all confused on how you didn’t know hardly anything about her. I mean you have been in your own little world focusing on getting your album done and the relationship is fairly new. My mother blasts her music every time I go and visit her. Right when you introduced her to us, it clicked.”

“She told me that she never uses social media.”

“Well, shit. It might not be her, but someone is definitely running her page and posting for her.” Urban said while scratching the back of his neck. 

“Now, Jack… don’t do anything that you’re going to regret. She’s a sweet girl and we can tell she cares about you a lot. Don’t ruin that.”

“And she might have a good reason for keeping you a secret from her parents. You never know, just hear her out.”

That’s when Shloob handed Jack his phone and it was a Tik Tok of you singing and he was floored. 

-----

The video ended at the perfect time just as you and Neelam came back to join them and you took your rightful seat next to Jack and could tell that he was pissed off.

“Babe, you okay? Did something happen?” You whispered in his ear and all he did was shake his head at you.

“We’ll talk about it later.”

“Okay.”

Now you were nervous because you had no idea what was about to happen when the two of you left and were alone. You couldn’t help but to think that somehow his anger was directed at you and that was the last thing that you ever wanted. Your life at home was rough enough as it is and he was literally your peace and escape from it. 

When the two of you finally reached Jack’s condo, he didn’t even hesitate. The car ride had been awkward and no matter how much you tried to get him to talk to you, he wouldn’t.

“Babe, what is going on with you? Can you please tell me so that we can fix it?” You said as the two of you were barely across the threshold.

“Do you have something that you want to tell me?” Jack asked while not even looking over at you.

“Like what? I loved meeting your friends and I already told you how proud I was of you. Did I miss something?”

“So, you forgot to mention to me who you are and who your parents are? Being a multi-winning artist who has multiple Grammys is something wild to keep from me.”

Oh, shit. He knows. 

“What? What do you mean?”

“That’s why you didn’t want me to meet them because you are basically out here living a double life. And it was the fact that my best friends knew more about you than me and I’m your boyfriend! And deep down I knew that something was off. I mean I get we don't run in the same circles, but still."

“Baby, I know you’re mad, but please let me explain.” You pleaded with Jack, but all he did was shake his head at you.

“Pissed is more like it because you LIED to me. I have never lied to you in the entire time that we’ve been together. How long did you think that you would be able to keep this up for? I get I’ve been living under a rock for a little while to finish the album but damn a heads up would have been nice. Your parents own like half of Kentucky!”

“I just… my parents. I never wanted to lie, I just didn’t tell you the entire truth.”

“Who gives a shit about your parents? You love me don’t you? So why should that matter? And as bad as you talk about them why do you even give a fuck if they approve of us or not? And not telling me the entire truth is definitely lying.”

“It’s not that simple! And of course I love you! A lot would come with this! Just because my parents don’t approve is one thing, but the entire community behind them is another. All that they have worked for could go away in the blink of an eye if I don’t do this the right way! People are so critical of celebrities as it is, but someone who represents God in the public eye is an entire different ballgame. When certain things happen in our community, you’ll be lucky that they don’t crucify you like they did Jesus himself. Come on, you literally have a song called I Wanna See Some Ass. I can’t exactly play that song at a church function, now can I?”

“What is the right way? I hope you don’t think what you had been doing this time was! Hiding me? Lying to me? Lying to your family?”

“You don’t understand, Jackman! So much is riding on this! And I didn’t hide you!”

“Well help me to understand! And what the hell do you call not really going out with me in public?! HIDING!”

“You aren’t a preacher’s kid so I have no way of making it so you do! Please try to see this from my point of view because if they were to come from me, they would come for you too. I could not risk that with your album being released! I was thinking of you!”

“Then try! Try to make me understand! And don’t even give me that! As much as I care about you, you thought that this was going to scare me off?”

“Because that’s what people usually do when they find out. I wanted to keep you to myself for as long as possible no matter how selfish it might sound. People have watched my every move since the day that I was born including my parents so that I could not only live up to their standards, but the community that is behind us. I never wanted to sing in church, but I felt that it was my only option because singing the kind of music I wanted to and being in the music industry would not have gone over well with them. As much as I complain about my parents, I do still love them and do not want anything bad to happen because of me. I was going to tell them, I promise you. And I was going to tell you about them.”

“And you waited so long that someone beat you to it. It’s only a matter of time before someone leaks that you were there with me tonight. If I would have known this, we could have been more careful. Because I made sure that there was a no camera policy, we were literally all over each other almost the entire night. That never occurred to you that would be a problem later?”

“Well hopefully they don’t. All I wanted to do was support my boyfriend.”

“Preacher’s daughter seen with Jack Harlow at his album release party is something that you think no one is going to leak? Come on now babe, you’re smarter than that.”

Just then Jack’s phone went off and he looked at it while muttering ‘fuck’ underneath his breath.

“What?” You asked him while coming closer.

He simply handed you his phone and you looked at it in disbelief.

Liked by dojacat, saweetie, laflame1017, champagnepapi, jackharlowsource, mariahthescientist, cardib, and 5,980,436 others

theshaderoom: new couple alert! look who we caught leaving jackharlow's album release party! no one other than Y/N Neveah Hamilton the daughter of Eric and Adelaide Hamilton who are well known preachers that reside in Louisville. Eye witness accounts say that the two of them were all over each other the entire night! we wonder what her parents have to say about this. preacher's kid dating a rapper? We'll keep you posted as we learn more. what do you think about this roommates?

jackharlowsource: damn jack got him a BADDIE

dojacat: jack, if you can't handle her, send her my way. whewwww she's gorgeous

druski2funny: jackharlow 2022 is looking up my boy! new album and a new girlfriend! can't wait to meet ms y/n in person! in the mean time, is she taking prayer requests? because I have some

urbandjack: I am not mad at this AT ALL

keepingupwiththehamiltons: oh. can't wait until mommy and daddy hear about this one!

You didn't even bother looking at the rest of the comments before looking back over at your boyfriend.

"What did I fucking tell you?" Was all he said while sitting down on the couch.

"My parents are going to kill me."

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@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow​

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree

[grapecaseschoices]

TAGGED BY @indorilnerevarine to do some MCs on this lovely picrew! [I was going to do my newest babus, my disenchanted mcs too but then I remembered I already did them here; so focusing on my OTHER brainrot with the Infamous kidlets]

Tagging: @galpal95 @ava-du-mortain @aylaaescar  @mt07131  @quinnorion  @narrativefoiltrope @wayhavenots @griffin-wood  @roxaro  @amlovelies @sun-teas @mistyeyedbi  @thee-morrigan   @thelittlestspider  @yes-prisoner  @karolinarodrigueswrites  @straightuppotato-art  @sunshineandviolets @sustainably-du-mortain @sohmiya @ice-knife @icanmakewords @eatingyarn @brother-genitivi @serenpedac and anyone else who wants to do this! [as always NO pressure <3]

[left to right; then top to bottom: Ori, Lala, Alana, Josnel, Hiyam

Summaries below:]

Ori Zhou: lead singer of Gains; will one day juggle during a show and thus giving a heart attack to Orion and causing Iris to roll her eyes to Mars as Rowan dies laughing and Devyn is left fretting over their expired bandmates; Victoria's unintentional sidekick and untentionally learning from Gina what they put Orion through; just wants his BFF back ... definitely made the wrong choice in choosing bus buddies. Lala Sandoval: lead singer of DramaWhore; exasperated and fond of their "little" brothers' antics [Rowan and Seven; but five seconds away from dropkicking the latter] and fond as well as smug about pushing Orion's buttons; lowkey fascinated by the way the new drummer makes them shiver and is looking to get under August's skin. Alana Carita: lead singer of Promised Promises; songwriter and guitar player; has the queerness TSwift fans wish TSwift had and with similar aesthetics; "whether you come as a lover or an executioner --" levels of going through it with Seven Lawless, nothing like realizing you've been in love with your EX-BFF AFTER she it makes clear that she hates you and you realize that you [REDACTED] her life ... just sapphics in love stuff; but at least she can have quiet moments with Rowan and August's hand to hold. When romance sucks, friendship will be the saving grace. Bethany Josnel Coleman: lead singer of The Notations; piano player and singer who is wondering if he should go back singing for the church choir -- he was prepared for drama, but come on!; Aren't they really here for the music? Is tired of having his ex-bf glare holes in his head almost as he is already tired of [REDACTED], take your own advice and leave him alone Seven; at least he finds some moments of peace with a certain loyal fan and her hot cute dad ... moments that most definitely won't be happening again!! [Totally unprofessional and dangerous to blur such lines ... right?] Hiyam Vinke: lead singer of the Vespas; triple threat: but according to ex-Seven that's because they're Obnoxious, Aggressive, and a POS; TEAM BLAKE BURN THIS SHIT TO GROUND [but away from my meteoric rise to success]; in it to WIN and NOT the sentimental hogwash that includes realizing that her parents neglect really DOES hurt her because her annoying fan and her dad keep rubbing their joy in her face [and because there is no Seven to buffer that emptiness] --- that is UNLESS said hogwash comes in the form of Orion's smile, heart-to-blergh-hearts with Rowan, .... and maybe one Victoria Valentine.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

not including myself in this for obvious reasons ajdjdjakjfakfn. some more propaganda for everyone:

my brother consistently goes out after worship practice and buys donuts to share with the entire team.

his bestie the teenage sound guy has called my brother "the light of my life" and I think it was actually unironic

I forget how many kids she actually has bc they're almost never in one place but she is AMAZING. she always has a hug and kind words for anyone around and is an amazing worship leader

the keyboardist is also occasionally a sound tech if needed and ALSO ALSO is occasionally a drummer if needed. it's ridiculous how talented he is. he just. Does Stuff. and it works. I could never

my dad goofs around just as much as everyone (this team is a bit of a rodeo) but he's definitely a bit more chill. he makes dated mainstream music references and then groans LOUDLY AND DRAMATICALLY when the younger members of the team don't get it. there's also an abundance of weird niche bassist humor.

I love my sister in law SO much she's amazing. she's got terrible stage fright. and YET. she is also a total dweeb during rehearsals. I have never heard a human being make some of the noises that she makes just to be silly. singlehandedly convinced everyone in charge to put on a dedicated worship night later this summer after everyone else has been kicking the planning can down the road for months

we have three main backup singers and all of them need a biiiit more confidence but also. that's the age. they're all in youth group so that's good. get those kiddos into the Word!!!! their commentary on worship team goings on are hilarious though bc they're newer to it and often just a bit confused by the older/more experienced team members playfully ribbing each other about things

one time I couldn't figure out where the on button for my computer monitor was (usually turning on the computer itself turns it on) and he walked around the other side of the booth and pushed a button I hadn't noticed on the back of it and I was deeply embarrassed but he was super chill about it. also he's helping me fix our lighting setup which has not worked literally in the time either of us has been at this church.

please help this man he's so busy and so dorky and really, really loud all the time. you would assume he's constantly overcaffeinated yet he actually hates coffee and never drinks it. he actually makes faces when he sees other people (me) drinking coffee. attempted to use Tumblr once bc he heard me talking to my mom about it. doesn't even know how to use Tumblr. this man is so weird and yet tries to be Hip™ so much. at this point it's probably For The Bit

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

If you remember, one Christmas in 2018, I made this post about if there was a made up religion about X. Well, it’s evolved to BOTH X and Zero. And I have made one piece of art relating to it, and some of the Christmas specials mentioning it.

This goes in depth on how it started and blossomed.

I’ll put this under “read more” just in case it’s spoiler territory for anyone enjoying the AU.

Without further ado, let’s get on with it

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3

It all just started with ONE post and I’ll show that here {also "here" for the previous chapter on AO3}. I was decorating that year before thinking about the Christmas special. Specifically listening to “Little Drummer Boy” sung by the Harry Simeone Chorale. A version I am quite fond of listening to in my childhood.

I thought of that version being sung whilst I also thought some of the reploids and humans would have worshiped X in some form or another.

Then it hit me, how X could actually be worshiped based on the fact he saved the world multiple times, and Zero doing so by his side, despite his record of dying at least twice. Before, the idea was mentioned he would only die once but it was scrapped for the two deaths he had canon in the games. I’ll probably talk about those in another post as well, or maybe not. I’ll ask the people in the server directly if they want to see that or not.

As I was developing the Christmas special for 2018, it definitely escalated into both the boys being worshiped at some point. Heh… it’s also kinda funny cuz “worshiped” kinda is a pun off shipping lol-

I’ll shut up about that AHEM anyway-!!

After the special was posted, it kinda got more in-depth of how it would work, and Xiddall was created with the help of my best friend Ashard, and I thought of an animaloid design to fit them. Something similar to Xerneas from the Pokemon X and Y games, basically a deer god-like mechanaloid. I have yet to design them yet, but I hope I do in the near future so you’ll see what they look like, and hopefully make a post about them and how they're created in verse.

X and Zero’s worship then connected to the worship of Xiddall that made Xevdex the son of the god, and Zero the fallen angel from the deep dark space. It’s definitely Hell’s equivalent, but it’s not a downward spiral, it’s more a “the deeper you go in one direction, the darker and deeper it gets” kinda feel. I call it “the Dark Web Abyss”. It may be a placeholder title until it’s called something better that revolves around more of the theme for “Cyberspace”.

There’s also a thing that’s added into the lore of this cult that certain humans and reploids have created that’s made even X and Zero uncomfortable.

Them having the duo’s song as a hymn for their “church”, and every time they heard it being talked about or them singing their song, Xev feels sick to his stomach and Zero has to escort him to help keep them walking. Sometimes they'll run into those worshipers. There's a bit of a spectrum of them where some are very nice and respectable, others on the other end being crazy that they think they saw cryptids, or right smack in the middle where they're a mix of both. Trying to be respectable to an extent but then can't hold in how awesome and honorable it is to be in the presence of the famous X and Zero.

Poor things have to endure it every once in a while, and at least they're able to vent about it to their small close group of friends/found family.

I think they eventually convince the "church of the messiahs" that if Zero writes some hymns for them that they might stop using their song as one, and most agree and apologize profusely while others object to the idea. It probably becomes a whole debate amongst the worshipers, but eventually Zero would write those hymns and the song is sung way less in their services. Which does help Xev feel way more at ease.

Idk I just thought of a funny lil thing I could put in the AU and it kinda expanded from there lmao.

[thecupcakewritesmorethings]

Papas and co being actual Papa’s.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

Papa Emeritus I- 9/10 Papa. I see him as a “Daughter” dad. Takes you to Mass every Sunday. Admittedly, is a little disappointed if you don’t join the Clergy, but supports you in whatever you do. You’re definitely going to be a member of the Anti-Church’s chorus as a youth, though.

Papa Emeritus II- 3/10 Papa. Look, there’s a GOOD chance he never raised you. The sort of dad that’d hand you a check for your Birthday. Not good with young children, but probably can speak and level with you better as a parent when you hit high-school.

Papa Emeritus III- 7/10 Papa. Actively a part of his children’s lives, though not a good “father” figure. Definitely the sort of person who tried though. You have baby pictures of yourself and he in sunglasses in the park. Sorta in a weird situation with all the sex stuff because... Well. That’s his kid? Wants to teach them right, but also knows it’s REALLY awkward. He tries.

Cardinal Copia/ Papa Emeritus IV- 2/10 Papa. Look. I love Cardi C. I really do, but man has got NONE of his shit together. Man’s in his 40′s and is still babied by his mama. He’d LEARN, I guess, but the only thing redeeming him from being a total wash as a parent is those who love him.

Papa Nihil- 8.5/10 Granpapa- The sort of person who insists they don’t want grandchildren, don’t need grandchildren, ect. However the moment you come around he’s just- he can’t help himself. Pinches your cheeks and calls you nick-names. Frequently steals you from your parents whenever he gets the chance and he does it all. Baby Baths? Yes. Diapers? Yes. Feeds you and doesn’t mind getting his alb dirty? Yes. Yes. Give this man a baby to openly coddle and he’d be over the MOON. The kind of grandpa to spoil you rotten with toys that have small parts, load you up on sugar and release you to your parents. The Old Codger knows what he’s doing.

& Co

Sister Imperator- 2/10 OR 9/10 Granmama- Could go either way, and depends on who the father is. If you’re Copia’s: OH! She is the most doting, most loving grandmother you could ask for, and... Probably does the most child-rearing. If you’re any of the other Papa’s children... Well. Fend for yourself.

Aether- 8/10 Papa. Also would be clueless in some regards, but would be a good teacher. The sort of dad who wouldn’t chastise you for something bad, but let you experience consequences. Fall asleep on him and watch him die a little inside.

Sodo/Stompy/Dew/Fire- 9/10 Papa.  Okay, Stompy has anger issues, but if you want a protective Dad--- this is him. Would wear the dad backpack with pride and vitriol. Pretends to eat his child’s nose all the time. Loves to play and (lovingly) chuck his child into something soft. Crawl on him and be an adorable little hellion. He’ll be SO pleased.

Rain- 7/10 Papa. Overwhelmed!!! STRESSED!!! He has his high points as a parent, but he’s the sort of person who will panic if you’re upset. He’s much better with young children than he is babies, and as a teenager he’d do his best to encourage you. Will sing you songs, and rock you to sleep with music. Rough start, but over-all not a bad parent!

Mountain- 10/10 Papa. THE DADDEST GHOUL. Not mad with you hitting things, in fact I imagine he encourages you to express yourself through percussively hitting things. Maybe not the FONDEST of doing the day-to-day things, but no parent really is. Probably has a hard time sleeping with you in the crib, tbh, and would much rather you crash in bed or on the couch with him. I think, despite the fact he is a drummer, would be SUPER stoked if you got into choir or any kind of classical instrument. Not afraid to, also, lovingly chuck you into something soft, but has a better grasp of what is too much than Sodo. Way less prone to anger or passive-aggression than the others. Would be the MOST willing to accept a religious view outside of his own. May not be very comfortable if you go Christian, or... Even... Catholic (gulp), but would allow you to explore on your own terms. Even if you wind up leaving, he makes sure to let you know that you always have a home with him.

Cirrus- 8/10 Mama. I’m trying to find something zesty for the Ghoulettes as parents, but... Well. I can’t. I think they’d legit be good parents. Cirrus is 100% the kinda mom who will dye your hair crazy colors when school is off. Takes you school shopping during the height of summer. She also sits down and does all your school assignments with you. I do see her, however, signing you up for more musically inclined classes first. Not a big sports mom.

Cumulus- 10/10 Mama. Cirrus will lead you down the path of parentage-- CUMULUS IS GOING TO LEAD YOU DOWN THE PATH THAT ROCKS. Soccer mom, home room mom, and bakes really good cookies when you’re good at school. When you’re baby? When you’re baby she has your crib tricked out like it’s going on an episode of “pimp my ride”.

Sunshine- 2/10 Mama. Okay. Sunshine, I feel is too baby to be a mom. She is a big sister, and in that regard, oh, 8/10. Helps you with homework and gets into trouble with you, but yeah. Just don’t expect her to be particularly forthcoming with responsibilities.

COWBELL GHOUL- 9/10. Gives even Mountain a run for his money. Whereas Mountain is more of a chill dad, Cowbell is more structured and a natural teacher. You want to do ballet? Sure. He’s taking classes along side you. Want to go into sports? He studies up and tries to play with you. He has his preferences for how your life will wind up, but is going to make sure you’re prepared for the path that YOU chose, specifically, and the best way to guarantee that is to be good at it himself. A little overbearing at some times, but means well. Willll back off if you want your own personal identity.

[just-some-random-blogger]

I've seen Motionless live many times, and I definitely love their vibe. They really put on a show. You would NOT be disappointed at all. I promise you. Heres some song recs if you're interested.

Motionless song recs:

"</c0de>", "Rats", "Eternally Yours" (watch the mv for this, you will not be disappointed), "Headache" , "Sign of Life" , and "Cause of Death". There's so many more, but those a great place to start. I love Chris Motionless. I have a funny story about one Warped Tour which was my first one with my sister and omfg. If you wanna hear it let me know. It's so funny to me now lmfao.

I love Amity but I know they're not for everyone. I know the lead singer, we talked a few times. 🤭But, listen to their song "I Bring The Weather With Me" and "Drag the Lake" . Those are two of my favorites of all time.

BESTIE I LOVE THOSE SHIRTS!!!!! OH MY GOD! I will never NOT be astounded by the shit people can make. I'm so not creative. My sister is a fucking Martha Stewart ass bitch who can make anything. It's so crazy to me the things people can create 😭😭😭 THE GUCCI ONE! YASSSSS GAGA!!!!!! ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

wait ARE YOU EXTROVERTED TOO?!!?! SHUT UP I am always so afraid that I'm "too much" too soon and i'm like GOD I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN. 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE NOW, I'M LIKE OMFG THIS IS TOO MUCH SHUT UP BITCH. lmfaoooooooooo

dang you really pr-ed motionless in white to me AHAHA ok anyway have a love letter <3

: i like it lyrically, reminds me of in the end by black veil brides because of the melodic progression in the chorus, i like the feel alone part by 3:17 and the lets get this fire started by 3:27. i like the end part too.

Rats: the beginning synths sounds like something i'd do on my digital audio workstation where i make music lol. i like this more than the first one because there are more musical elements. i also like the ending of this one

Eternally Yours: from the intro i immediately i knew i was gonna like this one. the chorus is so emo HAHHAHHHAH love that for them AHHAAHAH. ok i forgot to watch the mv imm a watch it now. immediate thought their drummer is hot T_T RIP at this point i have no idea if i actually find drummers attractive if theyre attractive or if they're drummers (i have a thing for drummers) T_T 3:05 🧍‍♀️ is that the lead guy in the bun??? that must be why his bob is so thin thought he wa going bald T_T HAHA. so they just boutta get freaky in a casket. //: ok. if he doesnt want me in my casket then i dont want him. random addition: i pressed another vid after, angel eyes by new years day ITS COOL AND HOT TOO LOL

Headache: i like this one too because of the .... chromatic scale (it goes up half a note). wAIT I REALLY LIKE THIS. i like this the most i think

Sign of Life: this one is good. ngl the emo pronunciation T_T had i not seen the lyrics i would have sorely misunderstood

Cause of Death: interesting beginning. WE LOVE HALFTIME. i love all the parts that was got faster. also the cinematic part with the violin slay. i like the lyrics too!! i think i like this album too

I Bring The Weather With Me cHURCH BELLS AND RAIN WE LOVE FOLEY omg the intro is that an organ>??? slay i love the scream with the background vocals. i like THIS SONG TOO!!! i like the final ill sleep with the stars then silence. THEN TH ENDING WITH THE BELLLS SLAAAYY

Drag the Lake: i like this one too but in like a .... its a rock song kind of way AHHAHAHAHAH lsafhl'ashfasf i like the part were its soft with piano and atmosphere then it get heavier.

im glad you like my shirts!!!! im really excited to make the other ones. my mom likes them too, which is a great indication cos my mom has high standards and doesnt like a lot of things that i do because it's neophyte or basic. i was surprised that she really liked the gucci one and said she would pay for it cos she doesnt like adam driver 💀💀💀 the slander this man has gotten from my mother T_T she said she didnt like the font of the daemon one and i was like ok and? HAHAH LOL.

im not sure why you used martha stewart as an example, is it because martha's a cook and your sister cooks too, or that martha is an all around entrepreneur and so is your sis, but either way, slay for your sister.

i dont think im extraverted T_T im more of an extraverted introvert, or a learned/forced extrovert. i used to be really quiet but then i would be alone T_T and i dont like being alone, so i kind of forced myself to be more outgoing. also, idk, i think about my place in the world like... nothing really matters so i just do what i want LOL and i mention this because i talked to someone on the train just cuz. thats more on impulse than extraversion methinks.

xxx

[ashley-slashley]

rockstar eddie but it's the 1960s (long post)

@carol-munson's rockstar au for eddie inspired me to expand on that concept, but with a different decade/era in mind. i present y'all to part of my au where stranger things is set in the 1960s, but specifically about eddie and his band. everything (including a playlist) is under the cut since this post will be long. if you want a part 2 for the reader insert portion, please tell me since i also have one idea for that pretty much done, and i tried to make it as inclusive as possible

Eddie Munson is a reference to the newly formed Church of Satan in 1966 (the church was pretty much founded as part of the Counterculture Movement, and to piss off the older generations. Illuminaughti on youtube does a better job explaining it)

Eddie Munson is a draft dodger, but it’s never explained how he successfully dodged the draft (based on how nobody knows how Jim Morrison dodged the draft, according to John Densmore, drummer of The Doors)

Rather than metal bands of the 80s, Corroded Coffin is an homage/tribute to The Doors

Eddie is “based” on Jim Morrison (including calling himself something like The Lizard King, wearing leather 90% of the time, being a mad lad)

Unnamed Corroded Coffin guy is “based” on Robby Krieger (it’s because they’re both quiet)

Gareth is “based” on John Densmore (yes, part of this is because they’re both drummers)

Jeff is “based” on Ray Manzarek

The Hideout is a go-go bar

They predated Led Zeppelin in the writing songs based on Tolkien’s work concept

Eddie speaks out about the Americans’ involvement in the Vietnam War

The band has definitely wrote a song making fun of LBJ, and a song making fun of Richard Nixon

Definitely played at Woodstock and the Monterey Pop Festival (The Doors didn’t, but, uh, I think John Densmore did play at one of them for another band, though I don’t know if that actually happened)

Were supposed to play on the Ed Sullivan Show, but got canceled/replaced by another band when someone told Ed Sullivan that Corroded Coffin is like The Doors (look up the Light My Fire incident that happened on the Ed Sullivan Show)

Older generations hate the band because they’re rumored to be associated with the Church of Satan, the band plays into that because it pisses people off and brings them more attention

Refers to themselves as The Band from Hawkins (The Doors sometimes referred to themselves or got referred to as The Band from Venice (Venice Beach, California lol)

[askmissthunder]

To the gang: What are your favorite Christmas songs?

Miss Thunder: One last question then I have to go to bed super early to catch my flight but, oh my goodness, I have so many favorites! Where to even start?!

Red Rabbit: How about we start with the old carols first then we can pick out the more up-to-date music?

Eli: Sounds good to me! Talon, are you gonna join us or…?

Talon: *Skimming through magazine* Nope. You kids go ahead though. Enjoy your rinky-dink fa-la-la music.

RR: Alrighty then! Penny, you first! What's your favorite old-timey Christmas carol?

E: Wait wait wait! What's the difference between a song and a carol? Aren't they the same thing?

MT : Oh, I can answer this, Eli. A carol is specifically a hymn (a religious song) that sings about Jesus or the Nativity. Very spiritual stuff! 

E: I see! That's to do with the statues of the baby and people in robes I see around town?

MT : Right! As for my favorite carol, I'm gonna have to pick three because I love playing these on my flute, "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen", "Good King Wenceslas" and "Silent Night". Here’s a particularly well done version of "Silent Night" by Julie Andrews.

RR: Oh, good pick with "Silent Night"! That one always puts me in a peaceful mood. Plus, "Good King Wenceslas" makes me think of A Christmas Carol or just 1800s London in general.

MT : It's definitely appropriate for the setting! When it's closer to Christmas Day, I like going to sleep listening to "Silent Night". So cozy…

RR: When I used to be in Choir at church, my favorite carol to sing was "Away in the Manger".

RR:

♪ Away in a manger

No crib for a bed

The little Lord Jesus

Laid down His sweet head ♪

 

RR and MT :

♪ The stars in the sky

Looked down where He lay

The little Lord Jesus

Asleep on the hay ♪

E: Very pretty! 

MT : Thank you! And what's your favorite carol, luv?

E: Uhmm…I don't know the name but the one that goes ♪ Rum pum pum pum ♪!

RR: Ohhh, "The Little Drummer Boy"!

E: Yeah, that one! I don't know about all that god baby stuff but I just like doing the Rum pum pum pum part. It's fun!

MT : You know what? As long as you enjoy the song, that's just as valid a reason as any, Eli.

RR: *Sniff!* That song always gets me teary-eyed, it’s such a a sweet song. Now on to the more modern music! I remember very vividly as a kid, and I still do, loving the Jackson 5's version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus".

MT : "I did! I really did see Mommy kissing Santa Claus and I'm gonna tell my Dad"! Hee hee!

RR: God, little Michael's voice is soooo good in that song! That last note?! *gives a chef's kiss* It's so beautiful! 

MT : Agreed! A more recent song I like is "Last Christmas" by Wham!

RR: Hmm…I don't know, it's nice but that song always feel like kind of a downer for me. I mean, he's singing about getting his heart broken at Christmas.

MT : I always saw it as a hopeful song meself because ♪ This year, to save me from tears/I'll give it to someone special ♪

RR: That's true.

E: Heh heh heh…I think I know my favorite Christmas song!

*Eli hops up on the couch and performs an air guitar*

E:

♪ Out of all the reindeers you know you're the mastermind

Run, run Rudolph, Randolph ain't too far behind

Run, run Rudolph, Santa's gotta make it to town

Santa, make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down

Run, run Rudolph 'cause I'm reelin' like a merry-go-round! ♪

RR: WOOO! GO ELI!

MT : *Wolf whistle* Bravo, sweetie! That was ace!

E: *Blushes* Heh heh! Thanks! It's the song that get me the most excited when I hear it on the radio at Christmastime! I love it, it doesn't sound like any other Christmas song!

RR: Well, that's Chuck Berry for you!

MT : Well then, if no one has anything else to add…

T : I got something to add.

RR: Wha_You got a song, Talon?

T : I just want to say that even when I was a kid, I always found Christmas music to be incredibly cheesy and annoying, especially when you're forced to hear it at work but…

MT : …But?

T : I do like one song. Well, it doesn't have any words but it does put me in a good mood when I hear it.

RR: *Gasp!* Tell us, tell us!

T : *Sighs*

E: Hey, that's the Charlie Brown music!

MT : That's a fantastic choice, Talon! Well, I think that'll about do it for us this year, folks. so from all of us at Ocean City, and soon to be England, we hope you have a happy and safe holiday! Take care out there and Happy New Year!

[prozac-shaped-urn]

Welp.

The loss of Katie has hit….. Harder than I thought it would.

My dad asked me if I had ever lost a peer and I was like yeah ofc I have I lost Rhiannon and he was like ok I forgot about that.

But like.

Katie isn’t just ~a peer~ to me. She’s never been just ~a peer~ to me. She’s always been Katie Hood. My twin sister best friend soul mate keeper of my secrets until I was 13. We literally slept in the same crib at church. We developed our personalities together. We got to spend our birthdays together. We spent every other weekend at each other’s homes like we were in some kind of divorce settlement. Even me moving 250mi away didn’t stop us from growing our connection.

We bonded so deeply that I felt she had died when we were permanently separated in 2001. I wrote my first short story as a result of that separation/death and it was as depressing as you think it was.

I did reconnect with her about 4 years ago. We sent a handful of DMs and shared photos, but that was the extent of our communication. Everything I know about her family and drug issues I’ve garnered from her FB profile.

We weren’t friends by any definition, but she still holds a special place in my heart. She always has.

I can’t really explain why it hurts except that it just does. It’s like I’m 14 again and so completely and utterly alone that I can’t foresee of any situation where I would feel part of the world or make a new friend. (I literally talked with Sara for over an hour while I drove home yesterday so I consciously know this isn’t the case but my body doesn’t.)

She’s not a peer to me, she’s Katie. She’s KATIE HOOD. That’s like saying Pat Summitt was just a NCAA women’s basketball coach. No! She was THE NCAA women’s basketball coach.

Katie has never not been part of my life. She was there in person from my infant-hood to my early teen years, and she’s been in my heart ever since.

My greatest passions in life have been influenced by her presence and her absence. My writing path started with her. We talked about forming an all-girl band once we were old enough to drive. I was gonna be the drummer and she was gonna be a singer, which meant I had to get really good at drumming very fast so I could be ready to play.

I don’t know how to not think of her on her birthday. I don’t know how to not think of her when I hear certain songs. When I watch Titanic. When I hear trains blowing their horns. When I eat tuna salad. When I hear the name Johnathan. When I see Beanie Babies.

I have a photo of us as 5 year olds in a kiddie pool at my house in Nashville. It’s in a frame along with a photo of my first dog, a photo of me at 4, and a photo of two of my great-grandmothers and my dad’s mom. It’s sitting on my dresser in perfect view.

This is what I’m saying! She’s never not been part of my life. I have photos of her everywhere.

I said goodbye a long time ago, but not by choice. And I never got to say it to her. I never got closure. The only consolation I really have is that I know she had a very rough life and she was in a lot of pain near the end. So for that to all be over is a relief for me. If she’d had an easier path and her life had been cut short, I think I’d be more upset.

I guess I’m sad for myself and for the girl I once knew would never leave me.

[zashtheintern]

Subsonic Eye USA Tour 4

A few days after we landed, still having jetlag, Subsonic Eye had a recording session for Brunch Tunes by Slang Church in Oakland, California. I helped with the setup and watched them do their recording. I also took some photos and videos of them.

Sam(bassist) and Lucas(drummer) are also in another band called CURB! They also did an acoustic recording of some of their songs!

It was so cool to see how the session was being recorded. It was filmed and recorded in someone's living room and the sound engineer managed to setup all of the MI and lines in record time. I was in awe at how efficient and fast he was working. I definitely took some notes.

[theglitchos]

spoiler alert

i survived, jesus didn't

(the book's only been in print for over 500 years so)

tbh for a good friday service it was pretty ok... a bit overdramatic/cringe in places, but it was a good retelling imo

the soundscape the musicians created was dope tho, the drummer was amazing with the sound effects he was making

-shrug-

still don't feel inclined to go back to church, and i'm still going to try to wriggle out of going on sunday

i'm definitely of the opinion i have fulfilled my religious obligation for the season, i'll go back for crimmus

[thirstghosting]

edgelords in the church are just like

woman who had an abortion and lived

popular blonde girl who gets bullied at school for her faith 😔

obviously bisexual girl who thinks she passes as straight and is Too Cool to participate in anything

drummer who everybody knows isnt a Christian he just likes to hit the drums and say mean things to girls he thinks are ugly

jaded prepper who often chaperones for the youth ministry and likes to take giant dumps on the kids' interests

the hot girl's brother who knows he's hot, only comes to youth group for games and events because he knows he's cooler than everybody

homeschooled kid who's so good at blending in that you wouldn't know he's homeschooled because he's spent dedicated time trying to act like a Normal but he also knows the scripture inside out and has a genuine heart for God which is somehow the edgy part

bleach blond guy in the back of the room who doesn't talk except to say some shit he thinks is cryptic, DEFINITELY into girls who look and act like actual children, salivates over it

[tambourmite]

Now, here in Gotham, I usually like to do random jam sessions with my buddies on the streets. We of course do Jazz, as it’s one of the most easiest ones that can easily be improvised. (Plus, its the creator of improv lol) So, we were doing some street jazz when the KING himself, The Signal drops by and jams out on the kit. 

[subjectsix]

OKAY I think it's utter genius that Deacon's name is Deacon.

I've always assumed its his codename, just like Drummer Boy, Gloria, or Desdemona. I think he probably chose it himself, though it's possible it was given to him, but either way, its basically become his actual name by now, and the imagery of someone named Deacon operating out of the basement of an old church while helping protect and hide synths after the life he's told us he's lived.

Deacons (diakonos) in the church were meant to help and aid the church body in a different way than elders were meant to back when the church was started. It could be argued tons what a deacon's job is now depending on various groups, but generally, a deacon is there as a servant and attendant to help make sure everyone is taken care of and well while the elders help lead.

And just. The oft underestimated Deacon, who has his finger on the pulse of the entire Railroad operation, careful to mediate and care for and aid everyone as best he can, aware that the world is brutal and harsh because he was the brutality, helping keep things smoothed over and operating?

There's definitely more to dissect here but I don't have enough tea in me to do so yet, but I'm going to because its just. UGH his character is so good. It's so important to me that his story not be viewed as one of some sort of twisted penance, like he fears it is, but one of grace and love and growth.

To think he named himself Deacon.

[deacons-wig]

Deacon’s Name

@the-minutethem requested a post about why Deacon chose the name Deacon. So many reasons, its really interesting!! 

Deacon is derived from the Greek word diákonos (διάκονος), meaning servant, messenger, or minister. In Christian hierarchy, a Deacon is low ranking office focused on service, clerical work, etc. A Deacon keeps things running, but may not make big decisions. (Wikipedia). 

This makes sense for Deacon for several reasons. First, Deacon is a messenger and in a way, a clerk. His job is to collect information, sort it, and deliver the relevant bits to Desdemona and other agents as he seeds fit, in a way that’s useful to them.

I like to think that Deacon needs to create the illusion of being low in the hierarchy of the Railroad. It gives him freedom to vanish for long periods of time, keeps people off balance and wondering who he really is and what he really does. 

Heads up, from here I’m going to talk Christianity and the Bible which I am no expert in. 

There is a line in the bible about the qualities a Deacon should have to hold office. 

“And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.” (1Timothy 3:10 - King James Version). 

When I did some research to figure out why Deacon might have chosen this name, this line struck me. If we consider his backstory a truth, Deacon is on a blatant path to redemption/atonement that he knows he will only achieve if he devotes his life to The Cause. “Being found blameless” is an irony, because he is guilty as sin of his bigotry against synths. So becoming not-a-bigot and change his mind is not enough. To be found blameless he must become a servant of the cause, going so far as forsaking his identity. That makes sense as a spy, sure, but it also sets him up as a messenger: that Synths are people, that they need help, that he will do anything to change the world for them. I actually have a fic about this I’m going to plug here. Mind the tags before you read.

Deacon also fits thematically with a few other names used in the Railroad. Drummer Boy is obvious, as is Glory, an avenging angel. They work out of a church, etc. 

Ultimately I see the name as a sad little joke, just for himself. I don’t think other people in the Railroad really get the depth it has. It’s both a definition of what he is, and a reminder of who he was. 

[blueberry-beanie]

White Lies at Uebel & Gefährlich in Hamburg | 23rd April 2022 | photos by me

Read about the concert below...

If there is any venue that has earned its name it must be “Uebel & Gefährlich” (”nasty & dangerous”). This building is a huge block of concrete just next to Feldstraße underground station in Hamburg. Not only is it a former bunker, but there is currently also a huge construction site all around it, leaving puzzled fans wondering where the advertised venue even is, although google maps tells them they are standing right in front of it.

This venue also seemed to be the only place in the entire city that was left utterly deserted on that day. When I arrived at approximately half past three in the afternoon, there was no trace of any concert happening, except for the big tour bus awkwardly hidden behind a construction site fence. Alright, I thought, three hours until doors, I may as well go and explore the funfair nearby. The funfair, confusingly called “Dom” although there is no church in sight, was absolutely packed. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon and the entirety of Hamburg seemed to be out and about. I said farewell to the fairground (pun intended) and took my feet to the opposite side of the street.

Here I saw an actual small church and walked past a closed off road. Soon I realised that it was closed for the Hamburg Marathon the next day. Curiously, people with little red marathon souvenir bags kept passing by. I was soon to find out they came from the marathon expo in one of the exhibition halls situated on either sides of this street. For some reason I thought I may cross there and end up back where I came from, but somehow got lost and nearly went into the exhibition. No, that was definitely not where I wanted to be.

An hour later, there was still absolutely nobody at the bunker. I started getting suspicious. Where was everyone? No way in hell there are zero fans queuing a mere two hours before doors open. Then two girls arrived with their bicycles. It turned out they wanted to go to the climbing gym and were also confused as to where to find it. How many things are even inside this block of concrete? We agreed to go inside together to find out. The gym was on the first floor, but I had to climb up to the fourth floor to find what I was looking for.

This time I knew I was at the right spot - the soundcheck told me this was really a White Lies gig. But there was nobody in the corridor, except for a young man sitting on the stairs. I asked him if he was there for the concert, but he was just confused - he didn’t speak German. Apparently I had just met Josh, the support band’s drummer, although I didn’t know him and only found out bc I asked him why he has a triple A pass on his belt. He was very nice and we talked about how this bunker is the spookiest venue and we don’t like it. Josh said it was completely alright inside. He told me that there was really nobody here and that they were probably at the funfair. He introduced himself and asked my name. I said I was looking forward to see him onstage later and we parted.

The next hour I spent wandering around, buying some food and drink at the supermarket and sitting nearby the Knust club I had just been to one week ago. Finally, when I came back to the bunker, there was a nice woman waiting for her friends and looking for a toilet. Other fans arrived as well and I assured them they were in fact at the right place. One hour of queuing in front of the door passed very fast together with Jan, who is originally from Frankfurt but now lives in Hamburg, and the previously mentioned woman, whose name I somehow didn’t ask for. I was a bit nervous, because I had hidden both the small borrowed and my own bigger camera in my handbag. But nobody checked the bag properly and I arrived inside the club without issue.

My spot was next to Jan and just in front of Charles. We had a nice hour with chatting about concerts, trains, the infamous Hamburg G20 summit in 2017 and more. The very interesting “all gender” toilets (which actually turned out to be for all genders that have a male anatomy) sparked some funny confusion. Completely unexpected, the lights suddenly went out a bit earlier and Charming Liars started playing. I spotted Josh playing the drums in the very back right away. They are a great and very engaging band, making the audience clap, sing, shout, and wave their lit up phone flashlights. They had some really nice tunes - go check them out! After the set, the band helped clearing the stage and we requested to get the setlist. When Josh came along I waved to say hi and suddenly found myself with a beaten up drumstick. Somehow that was more than I bargained for, but who am I to complain?

Then finally, White Lies appeared onstage. I was all ready and set with both cameras, the big one for filming and the small one for photos. Charles the bass player was so close, right in front of me. He is much taller than Harry, the singer. I had a great view of all three of them, Jack at the drums included. The only thing that worried me was how incredibly dark this gig was. Even the pro photographers had their flash lights set up. But alright, the results would be what they are (and they miraculously turned out fine?).

The music was just pure bliss. Other than in London 2019 at Brixton Academy, this time I knew all songs and was really excited to experience them live. I was especially thrilled to hear the new tunes from their current As I Try Not to Fall Apart album. I was not disappointed - a great setlist packed with many classics from their first album (the crowd went absolutely crazy for them) and a nice blend of their other material, including my fave Big TV, was topped off with five new songs. I only have two complaints: 1) it was too short and 2) Harry, why on earth did you not do the breathing thing after I Don't Want to Go to Mars?

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing these great musicians sparkle their magic and the light was really great and mysterious (just a pain for anyone trying to get photos). In London I had been quite far on the left side of the stage, but this time I could see every little tap on the pedalboard and each guitar riff. Charles was often singing along and both him and Harry smiled when they saw the crowd going mental. It was a lovely experience and I will remember it for a long time.

Too soon it was all over, the last bow and then the roadies came to pack up. I did not get anything this time, but that is alright. Since the queue for the coatroom was 42 metres long, I decided to pay Charming Liars at the merch stand a visit. Somehow I must have overdone my efforts for them, because I ended up with a drumstick signed by everyone and Josh still remembered me from before the gig. With many thanks I signed up for their newsletter and disappeared to the bathroom. The queue had not decreased in size yet and I spotted some signed CDs and a signed poster at the merch stand... oh well, how would I carry this home carefully as not to crease it?

It was a little difficult to get home with full hands, but that was alright, because I also had a full heart and a smile on my lips. After I had filled my empty stomach with some noodles at the main station, I was all ready and set for the train to take me back home.

Here are some photos of my little treasures from the gig. The poster will later get a nice black and silver frame to match and the drumstick is already hanging in front of my desk: